Clear writing

Fight the fog

Human Resources and Security
Learning and Development
















Training developed for the European Commission
by DEMOS under the terms of a framework contract.

www.demos.fr
www.demosgroup.com


This training manual complies with EMAS rules.

CONTENT
INTRODUCTION: WHAT IS CLEAR WRITING? .............................................................. 4
1. What do we expect from professional writing? ................................................ 5
2. What do readers expect from professional writing? ........................................ 6
3. How do we judge the effectiveness of professional writing? ........................... 7
4. Some specific guidelines for the European Institutions ................................... 8
5. What are the stages to clear writing? .............................................................. 9

FIRST STAGE: HOW SHOULD I PREPARE? ............................................................... 10
A.1. How do I know what to write? .......................................................................... 11
A.2. How do I determine the aim of my message? ................................................. 12
A.3. How can I understand my reader? .................................................................. 13
A.4. Which structures are useful for reports? .......................................................... 14
A.5. Which structures are useful for persuading? ................................................... 15
A.6. Which structures are useful when advocating change? .................................. 16

SECOND STAGE: HOW SHOULD I WRITE? ................................................................ 17
B. Using gender-sensitive language ....................................................................... 18

C.1. Omitting needless words ................................................................................. 24
C.2. Keep your average sentence length to about 20 words .................................. 25
C.3. Keep the subject, the verb, and the object together ........................................ 26
C.4. Prefer the active voice over the passive .......................................................... 27
C.5. End sentences emphatically ............................................................................ 28
C.6. Simplify wordy phrases and eliminate nominalizations ................................... 29
C.7. Make everything you write speakable ............................................................. 30
C.8. Paragraphs: introductions, bridges and signposts .......................................... 31
C.9. Be positive ....................................................................................................... 32
C.10. Be polite ........................................................................................................ 33
C.11. Moving from a multi-cultural to an international approach ............................. 34
C.12. Check spelling and grammar ......................................................................... 39
C.13. Check punctuation and capitalisation ............................................................ 40

THIRD STEP: REVISE ................................................................................................... 41
D.1. Hallmarks of good layout ................................................................................. 42
D.2. A method to make a document easier to read, understand and recall ............ 43
D.3. What personal impression will I leave? ........................................................... 44

CONCLUSION: DEVELOP YOUR SKILL ....................................................................... 45
Checklist: How to check the effectiveness of my text? ........................................... 45
Annex 1. Formulas for letters and e-mail, in French and English ........................... 46
Annex 2. A before-after example of clear writing .................................................. 47
Useful Words Tips for Writing in Modern Business English ................................. 51
Useful Phrases ........................................................................................................ 55

BIBLIOGRAPHY: ............................................................................................................ 57
EXERCISES ................................................................................................................... 58



Introducti on: what i s cl ear wri ti ng?
Training
Objective
1

This training aims to show how to write clearly and effectively: it is not
intended as a grammar refresher. If applied, the methods shown in the
course will result in greater consistency and quality of internal and
external communication for the multicultural and multilingual
administration that is the European Commission
2
.



Types of
documents
Clear writing techniques apply to almost all professional documents:
- correspondence: e-mails and letters;
- administrative notes and memos;
- minutes of meetings and reports;
- summaries and synopses;
- briefing notes and press releases;
- texts for the Web.


Modules This handbook is compiled of module sheets: each sheet is a reminder
of the essentials of the technique presented.


Checklist At the end of this handbook, you will find a checklist which you can use
to quickly assess the effectiveness of a professional document. Using it
will also help you to continue to improve your skills after the training.


Example of
How Not To
Write Clearly

Department of Healths definition of a container in the Medicines for Human
Use (Clinical Trials) Regulations 2004 :
'Container', in relation to an investigational medicinal product, means
the bottle, jar, box, packet or other receptacle which contains or is to
contain it, not being a capsule, cachet or other article in which the
product is or is to be administered, and where any such receptacle is or
is to be contained in another such receptacle, includes the former but
does not include the latter receptacle.



1
This training is complementary to the training "Administrative Writing", which deals with administrative language and
specific characteristics of administrative documents of the Commission.
2
See on this subject the article by F. DUGU and A. VERVIER: "Written communication in French in a European
professional environment: an experiment ", in the Language and Man, vol. XXXIII, n4


What do we expect from professional writing?
An operational
document
Why do you write a professional document?
1. To convey a message that the reader understands as intended.
2. To elicit a desired response from the reader: rapid, complete
and constructive.


Determine the
purpose of your
communication
Your purpose might be:
1. to inform someone about something;
2. to request someone to do something;
3. to convince someone of something;
4. to educate someone about something;
5. to act as a call to action.

Decide what the purpose of your writing is.That will help you to
communicate more effectively.




What do readers expect from professional writing?
A message that is
as easy as
possible to read
and understand
As a reader of professional documents, what do you expect?
Most probably, you would like:

1. an attractive layout;
2. with logical, well-structured text;
3. and a clear key message;
4. that is as easy as possible to understand;
5. that relates to my needs and wants;
6. so that you know how to respond appropriately.

As a writer, there are techniques you can learn to help you
communicate more effectively with your reader. Sometimes, this
involves un-learning old techniques.


Put yourself in
your readers
place
Ask yourself these 4 questions:

1. Who am I writing for?
2. What are their needs and wants?
3. What is my message?
4. Why is it important for them?



How do we judge the effectiveness of professional writing?
A.B.C.D.
framework
The following criteria are a guide to judging the effectiveness of a
professional document. Is the document :

1. Accurate: does it contain precise information, logically linked;

2. Brief: is it as long as necessary, while being as short as
possible;

3. Clear: does it emphasise the important, de-emphasise the
unimportant, and eliminate the unnecessary;

4. Diplomatic: is it positive, polite and perfect. While a piece of
writing may be grammatically correct, whether it is perceived by
the reader as being diplomatic or not will depend upon cultural
expectations.



Some specific guidelines for the European Institutions
Administrative
style
3

















If there are certain characteristics of administrative texts, what are
they
4
?

1. Form, particularly for official documents;
2. Courtesy, whoever the recipient: another administration, a
colleague or hierarchical superior;
3. Objectivity (avoid using adjectives and adverbs that are
interpreted subjectively);
4. and Clarity, which reduces ambiguity and misunderstanding.

Joint Drafting
Guide

In fact, all documents of the European institutions, internal and
external, have to be particularly clear. In your opinion, why?

1. Frequently, the writers and/or readers of these texts in English
are not mother-tongue English speakers.
2. The majority of these texts must be translated: complicated text
translation is expensive, in loss of time and meaning
5
.
3. Texts intended for the general public must be clear if we want
European citizens to understand them and adhere to European
ideals.

The recommendations for drafting of legislative texts of the European
Institutions stipulate clearly that the drafting of these texts has to be
clear, simple and precise. The aim in applying this principle is twofold:
firstly, to render Community legislation more understandable;
secondly, to avoid disputes resulting from poor drafting."
6


These recommendations make sense for all writing, not only legislative
drafting.

3
The Commission course "Administrative Writing" offers an opportunity to examine administrative documents in more
detail.
4
See R. CATHERINE, the administrative style, white Michel, 1996.
5
DG Translation promotes clear administrative documents; see its campaign "Fight the fog: how to write clearly ",
http://ec.europa.eu/translation/writing/clear_writing/fight_the_fog_en.pdf. The campaign is also carried out by
other administrations. The national French-speaking administrations also are anxious to improve legibility of
administrative texts: see, for France, the "practical Guide of the administrative drafting"
(http://www.adele.gouv.fr/reponseenligne/article.php3?id_article=6) and for the French Community of Belgium,
the campaign "write to be read" (http://www.cfwb.be/franca/publicat/pg013.htm).
6
Joint practical guide of the European Parliament, the Council and the Commission for persons involved in the drafting
of the legislation within the Community institutions
(http://europa.eu/eur-lex/en/about/techleg/guide/index_en.htm)


What are the stages to clear writing?
The Reader
Experience
1. Give your reader a good first impression through an attractive
layout. Their choice may then be to want to read immediately,
rather than putting it off for later.

2. Continue that good impression by writing in a style that is
A.B.C.D.: accurate, brief, clear and diplomatic.

3. Complete the good impression by using techniques to keep the
reader interested, e.g. moving ideas forward, giving examples,
using lists, figures and tables.


3 essential
stages
Your writing will be more efficient and effective if you follow a
process.

A. Prepare: what will I write?
"Writing comes more easily if you have something to say."
7


B. Write: how will I write it?
"Ive planned it, I now have only to write it."
8


C. Revise: how will I re-write it?
"Im not a very good writer, but Im an excellent re-writer."
9



7
Sholem Asch
8
BALZAC, La Comdie humaine.
9
James Michener.


Fi rst stage: How shoul d I prepare?

Know what you
want to say

This is probably the most important stage.

First, develop and collect your ideas.

Then, draw up a precise and complete outline / structure.

The advantage of doing this is that when it comes time to write, you
will only have to concentrate on expanding the outline.


How to be
accurate:


precise
information
- Relevant ideas, which cover all aspects of the question tackled
in your text (A.1. sheet).
- A succinct objective (A.2. sheet).

logically
linked
- Taking account of your reader and his expectations (sheet
A.3.).
- A plan that effectively informs your reader (sheet A.4.), that
convinces your reader (sheet A.5.) and encourages him react
positively (sheet A.6.).


A.1. How do I know what to write?
A generative
method
Concept mapping
10
is a group of similar methods for generating
ideas. Mind Mapping
11
is probably the most popular technique.
Concept maps can reveal aspects and relationships that you might
not have considered through more traditional methods, e.g. linear
note taking.
An example
12
:




A
comprehensive
method
The 7 questions approach is a structured method of covering
relevant information.

WHAT? My essential message
WHO? Persons concerned
WHEN? Days, hours, timelines, deadlines
WHERE? Places
HOW? Circumstances, explanations
WHY? Causes and/or objective
HOW MUCH? Calculable and measurable data


10
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concept_map
11
Tony Buzan, Barry Buzan, The Mind Map Book, BBC Active,2006.
12
Retrieved from: http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:MindMapGuidlines.JPG


A.2. How do I determine the aim of my message?
Determine the
key-message
If you dont clearly know the aim of your message, how can you
know what information to include and what to leave out?

If you put everything in, how will your reader know what is
important?

You have to make some decisions.

In addition, if you dont know what you expect of your reader, and
state it in your message, how can you expect your reader to know
what is expected of him?

Ask yourself, what is the aim of your writing, and express it
clearly, in a sentence
13
:

1. determine the topic of your text and its problems
(e.g.: meeting schedules: have to be fixed so everyone can
balance working and private lives);
2. define your objective;
3. aim at a concrete result
(use SMART objectives if it is useful);
4. formulate your objective in positive terms;
5. express it using an action verb;
6. write a sentence of 15-20 words maximum.



13
The objective that you formulate, sometimes in "strong" terms, will probably not appear exactly in your final text. But
this intermediate exercise will help you to clarify your objective and crystallise your key message.


A.3. How can I understand my reader?
Know who your
reader is
Your text can have several readers. Your readers can be:

1. the immediate reader (anyone who receives the document,
reads it and decides where it goes);
2. the primary reader (anyone who takes a decision as a result of
the document);
3. the secondary reader (anyone who is affected by the primary
readers decision).


Know your
readers
perspective
If you take account of your readers point of view, you are more
likely to be able to write in such a way as to reach them; questions
like the following help you.

1. How is the reader concerned with my message?
2. What is his motivation to read my text?
3. What opinion does he/she already have on the question?
4. What is his knowledge of the subject (situation, vocabulary,
references, ! ) and his level of English?
5. What does she/he think of me, writer/sender?
6. What relation do we have: hierarchical? equals? Do we know
each other personally?


Determine what
you need to say
Find out what your reader:

1. knows already;
2. needs to know;
3. wants to know.

There is no need to spend much time on what he/she already
knows, except to establish common ground.


The 4
Behavioural
Types

At a deeper level, we each have varied psychological needs that we
want met by what we read:

Type 1: Facts, figures, information, details, data, objective,
measurable, logical.
Type 2: Strong purpose, needs to understand how what they are
reading meets their objectives.
Type 3: Consensus, involvement, consultation, respectful style,
needs to be certain that all of the people aspects have been dealt
with.
Type 4: Overview, easy to read, well laid out, stimulating.


A.4. Which structures are useful for reports?


The inverse
pyramid
This is an effective structure for a busy reader or one who isnt well-
informed about the topic: it is particularly appropriate for e-mails or
administrative notes.


Start with principal information.
then supporting
information ,
in descending order
of importance.






The semi-
chronological
plan

This is appropriate when there is a chronological link between
elements. It corresponds to the order in which someone asks
questions about a new situation.

PRESENT What is the problem?
PAST What are the causes of the problem?
FUTURE What are consequences, forecasts, the
solutions to put in place?


The thematic
plan
This plan is appropriate to explain facts. The various ideas are
grouped by thematic categories. A table or chart is often used to
help explain.


A.5. Which structures are useful for persuading?
A plan to
suggest action:

the FOR
FOR is appropriate when you want your reader to act on your
message. It corresponds to the reader's reaction in a problematic
situation: it first sees, then it judges, lastly it reacts.

F presentation of the Facts
O expression of an Opinion
R statement of the Recommendations


A plan to
highlight a
problem and to
suggest
solutions:

GROW
GROW is appropriate for a longer text, which presents a problem
and suggests solutions.

G The Goal what do you want to achieve
R The Reality what does the current situation look like
O The Options available analyse each one, using SWOT
and PESTLE if appropriate. (See Below)
W Which option do you recommend?
Why?
Who is involved?
When? What is the timescale?


A plan for long
documents
For long reports, you can use simple plans (inverse pyramid, semi-
chronological or thematic) within the more developed parts of a FOR
or GROW.



A.6. Which structures are useful when advocating change?
NVC non-violent
communication
When your aim is to deal with a conflict or problem and you are
requesting another person to change their behaviour, the basic
principles of non-violent communication
14
can be useful. The
process is:

Observation describe specifically and objectively the situation
or the behaviour that you observed.
Feelings
15
express the feelings that this situation or this
behaviour causes in you.
Needs specify what your needs are in relation to this
situation or this behaviour
Requests ask for the change of behaviour or of the
situation that you would like.


Example From:emily.purcell@sender.com
To:george.lampion@receiver.com
Subject: request: your slides for meeting on 25 April

Dear Mr Lampion,
At our meeting on 1 April, we agreed that you would send me the
slides that you showed at the meeting. To date, I have not received
them.
I need this information to finish the meeting minutes for the end of
the month.
Could you please send me your slides by Friday?
Thank you in advance.
Emily Purcell


14
Marshall B ROSENBERG, Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life, Puddle Dancer Press, 2003
15
In a professional document, you might not include stage 2 (feelings).


Second stage: How shoul d I wri te?
The best advice at this stage is to just write. This means you should
follow your outline and expand the points you want to make, one by
one. Remember that you can tidy up your writing during the third
stage, revision.

How to use Gender
Sensitive
Language

Write in a gender sensitive manner (sheets B.)

How to be brief Remember that to brief you need to write for as long as necessary
and as short as possible. There are several ways to do this.

Phrasing
your sentences
omit needless words (sheet C.1.)
keep your average sentence length to about 20 words
(sheet C.2.)
keep the subject, the verb, and the object togethertoward the
beginning of the sentence (sheet C.3.)
prefer the active voice over the passive (sheet C.4.)
end sentences emphatically (sheet C.5)

Choosing
your words
simplify wordy phrases and eliminate nominalizations
(sheet C.6.)
make everything you write speakable (sheet C.7.)

How to be clear Remember that to be clear you need to emphasise, de-emphasise
and eliminate as required.

Connecting
your paragraphs
introduce each paragraph with a topic sentence (sheet C.8.)
bridge between paragraphs and provide signposts along the way
(sheet C.8.)

How to be diplomatic

be positive use expressions which encourage your reader to react positively
(sheet C.9.)

be polite use salutations and fixed expressions appropriate to context and
hierarchical link with your reader (sheet C.10.)
use salutations and fixed expressions which respect the various
cultures of your readers (sheet C.11.)

be perfect check for spelling, grammar and punctuation errors which could
confuse your reader (sheets C.12. and C.13.)


B. Using gender-sensitive language
Gender Where the gender being referred to is unclear, or refers to both
sexes, the traditional approach of English writers or speakers has
been to use masculine nouns and pronouns. For example, the U.S.
Declaration of Independence states that " . . . all men are created
equal . . .". Most native speakers were assured at school that men
covers all of humanity, not the 50% born male.

Nowadays, most English language readers no longer equate "man"
with "people," Consequently, we need to think carefully about the
words we use to express gender so as to be accurate and clear.

Language and culture are self-reinforcing. If we exclude female
nouns and pronouns we are helping to sustain gender inequality.


Pronouns How to deal with gender-neutral or gender-ambiguous situations
can be difficult, but here are a few options:

Use "they" While controversial among purists, this option works well in at
several situations.

If a member of the public wants to learn more about gender
inequality, they should take a course on Gender Studies.

Note that in this example, "a member" is singular, but in the second
sentence, it is replaced with "they," a plural pronoun. To some
people will point out that this is grammatically incorrect, so it may
be preferable to write:

If members of the public want to learn more about gender
inequality, they should take a course on Gender Studies.


Use she or he
or she/he
A simpler option is to write "she or he" or "she/he." For example,
Each person voting at an election must make sure she or he brings
their voting card and personal identification with them.

Alternatively:
Each person voting at an election must make sure she/he brings
their voting card and personal identification with them.


Alternate
genders and
pronouns
You may also choose to alternate gendered pronouns. This option
will work in those situations in which the referent is equally likely to
be a male or a female. However, be careful:

1. Not to inadvertently perpetuate stereotypes;
2. To appear inconsistent.



Eliminate the
pronoun
altogether
You may also eliminate the pronoun.
For example,
Many people accept the negative stereotype that if a person is a
feminist, she must hate men.

could become
Many people accept the negative stereotype that feminist beliefs
are based on hatred of men.

As the second version of the sentence talks about the beliefs it has
the added benefit that it leaves open the possibility that men may
be feminists.


Gendered nouns It may be possible to find gender-neutral nouns to replace the
gendered version.


gendered noun
man
freshman
mankind
man-made
the common man
to man
chairman
mailman
policeman
steward, stewardess
congressman
Dear Sir:
gender-neutral noun
person, individual
first-year student
people, human beings, humanity
machine-made, synthetic
the average (or ordinary) person
to operate, to cover, to staff
chair, chairperson, coordinator
mail carrier, letter carrier, postal worker
police officer
flight attendant
congress person, legislator, representative
Dear Sir or Madam:, Dear Editor:, Dear
Service Representative:, To Whom it May
Concern:

Be careful to avoid occupational stereotypes. In particular, look out
for things such as the use of female pronouns for nurses and male
ones for doctors, for example.




Proper nouns The principles here are simple:

1. Refer to women subjects by only their last namesjust as you
would do for men subjects.

2. In circumstances where you're writing about several people who
have the same last name, try using the full name of the person
every time you refer to him/her.

3. Refer to women subjects by their full titles, just as you would
refer to men subjects.

For example, you wouldn't call American President Obama
"Barrack," so you wouldn't want to refer to German Chancellor
Merkel as "Angela." Simply call her "Chancellor Merkel," just as you
would write "President Obama" to refer to him.


Sex versus Gender

"Sex" refers to the biological and physiological characteristics that
define men and women.

"Gender" refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviours,
activities, and attributes that a given society considers appropriate
for men and women.

To put it another way:
"Male" and "female" are sex categories, while "masculine" and
"feminine" are gender categories.











C.1. Omitting needless words
of omitting 3
advantages needless
words
Three good results occur when you omit needless words:

1. your readers read faster
2. your own clarity is improved
3. your writing has greater impact

Compare:

It is not necessary that an investment advisers compensation be
paid directly by the person receiving investment advisory
services, but only that the investment adviser receive
compensation from some source for his or her services.

With:

Although an investment adviser must be paid, the source of the
payment does not matter.


From 35 to 15 words, with no loss in meaningbut with
enhanced speed, clarity, and impact.

Imagine how this helps in sentence after sentence, paragraph
after paragraph




C.2. Keep your average sentence length to about 20 words
vary sentence
length

The length of your sentences will determine the readability of your
writing as much as any other quality. Thats why readability formulas,
such as Gunnings, rely so heavily on sentence length.

But you also need variety. A passage with sentences all of the same
length would be boring to read, too. Have some 35-word sentences
and even some 3-word sentences.


factors causing
sentences to
lenghten

Some of the reasons sentences become too long include:

1. Overparticularization trying to say too many things at once, with
too much detail and too little sense of relevance;
2. Fear of qualifying in a separate sentence as if an entire idea and
its qualifications must be squeezed into a single sentence;
3. Outdated learning for example, the idea that it is poor grammar
to begin a sentence with And or But;
4. Fear of being simple and, by implication, simple-minded and
unsophisticated.


use lists for
further variety

Lists are especially useful for highlighting important items. They
effectively take the readers eye from one point to the next.

A good list:
- starts with an introduction sentence;
- includes similar items;
- uses similar verbs;
- employs similar constructions;
- has a maximum of 7 elements.

Compare:
My proposals for the renovation project of the cafeteria are:
changing the location of the bar, repainting of the walls and
augmenting the number of tables and chairs.

With:

To renovate the cafeteria, I propose:
- re-positioning the bar;
- repainting the walls;
- buying more tables and chairs.



C.3. Keep the subject, the verb, and the object together
Subject, verb,
object is the
logical order
A sentence has two vital elements: a subject and a predicate
(typically consisting of a verb and an object).

It seems simple, but when dealing with complicated issues, writers
often complicate sentences by separating vital words.

The reason you should put the subject and the verb at or near the
beginning is that readers approach each sentence by looking for the
action.

If a sentence has qualifiers or conditions, state those after the
subject and verb. Itemize them separately if you think a list is
appropriate.


Compare:

Ms. Lenderfield, during the course of her struggle to provide for her
children as a single parent, accrued considerable debt to her family
and others.

With:

While struggling as a single parent to provide for her children, Ms.
Lenderfield accrued considerable debt to her family and others.



C.4. Prefer the active voice over the passive


Remember it this way: if youre active, you do things; if youre
passive, things are done to you.


How to identify
the passive
If you see a be-verb (such as is, are, was, or were) followed by a
past participle (usually a verb ending in ed), you have a passive-
voice construction.

Four
advantages of
the active voice
The active voice typically has four advantages over the passive:

1. It usually requires fewer words;
2. It better reflects a chronologically ordered sequence;
3. Its syntax meets the readers expectation that the subject will
perform the verb action;
4. It makes writing more vigorous and lively


When to use
the passive
The passive can be used:

1. To describe processes The form should be completed and
lodged with your supervisor.
2. To avoid the implication of guilt or responsibility Mistakes
were made.
3. With certain verbs where the actor is unimportant We have
been inundated with gestures of support.
4. To order information for stress Edward II wasnt written by
Shakespeare, it was written by Marlow.


C.5. End sentences emphatically
The end of a
sentence is the
most emphatic
position

The most emphatic position in a sentence isnt the beginning, but the
end.

With virtually any sentence, you have a choice about what you want
to stress. If you want to avoid sounding like a bureaucratic bore,
make it a conscious choice.


Reordering can
make a
difference
Consider:

Melinda Jackson died three weeks later in Brussels, Belgium.
Melinda Jackson died in Brussels, Belgium, three weeks later.
Three weeks later, while visiting Brussels, Melinda Jackson
died.

The first sentence emphasises the place of death. The second
emphasises the time of death. The third emphasises the death itself.

A little reordering can make a big difference.


C.6. Simplify wordy phrases and eliminate nominalizations
A readable text does not contain any verbal inflation
16
; so:

eliminate useless
adverbs and adjectives
Balancing the budget for Friday is impossible without some
type of additional aid.


re-word relative
clauses
The unit which has performed most efficiently!
> The most efficient unit!


All the candidates who are interested in this post have!.
> All the candidates for this post have!


eliminate dummy
subjects
There are four rules which must be observed!
> Four rules have to be observed!


replace
nominalisations with the
original verb
The function of this department is the management of
accounts.
> This department manages accounts.


replace
circumlocutions
In accordance with your request!..
> As you requested!



16
Verbal inflation = excessive number of useless words to transmit a message.


C.7. Make everything you write speakable
The question you
answer unknowingly
Whenever you write, whether you know it or not, youre
answering a question: what do you sound like?

You might be stuffy, defensive, whiny or aloof. You probably
dont want to be any of those.


The primary appeal of
language is to the ear

Generally, the best approach to writing is to be relaxed and
natural. It shows confidence and that youre comfortable with
your written voice.

Remember that the primary appeal of language is to the ear.
Good writing is simply speech highlighted and polished.

To the reader, few things are more pleasing than the sense a
writer is talking directly to youone intelligent being to another.


Contractions, and
pronouns aid natural
writing

Contractions can be used whenever natural. Write as You Talk
is the accepted rule of writing readablyand in English, the
most conspicuous and handiest device of doing that is to use
contractions.
17
A 1989 study confirmed this: it found that
frequent contractions enhance readability.
18


A word of caution: you might not be allowed to use contractions
much until you achieve a certain level of seniority. Be patient.

The use of first-person and second-person pronouns
especially we and you engages readers much more because the
text speaks to them directly

Compare:
If the employee feels that an interview with the immediate
superior would be unsatisfactory, he/she may present his
grievance to the next superior in line.

With:
If you feel that your superior will not handle your case fairly, you
may go directly to your superiors superior.


17
Rudolf Flesch, The Art of Readable Writing 82 (1949)
18
Wayne A. Danielson & Domonic L. Lasorsa, A New Readabiltiy Formula Based on the Stylistic Age of Novels, 33 J.
Reading 194, 196 (1989)


C.8. Paragraphs: introductions, bridges and signposts
The best
approach to
open a
paragraph
The best approach is almost always to open a paragraph with a
topic sentence.

By stating the controlling idea, a topic sentence will lend unity to a
paragraph, which typically begins with a shift in focus from what
preceded.

Also, your writing becomes much more skimmable: readers who are
in a hurry will get your point efficiently.


Bridges
between
paragraphs
The paragraph opener also functions as a transition, particularly in
longer documents.

Readers will then immediately see whether a new paragraph
amplifies what has preceded, contrasts with it, or follows it in some
other way.

There are at least three ways of bridging paragraphs:
1. Pointing wordsthat is, words like this, that, these, those and
the which refer directly to something already mentioned.
2. Echo linksthat is, words or phrases in which a previously
mentioned idea reverberates.
3. Explicit connectivesthat is, words whose chief purpose is to
supply transitions (such as further, also, therefore).

A clear writer generally combines all the methods for bridging.


C.9. Be positive
Accentuate
the positive
Your reader will generally react more favorably if you use positive
language.

Compare:
Our offices close at 17..

With:
Our offices are open until 17..

Compare:
Point 5: As regards waste paper
There are:
- not enough recto-verso copies made;
- not enough recycling through using old paper for drafts;
- not enough on-screen checking before printing on paper;
- sending too many letters when an email would suffice.

With:
Point 5: Proposal to make better use of paper
We suggest:
- making more recto-verso copies;
- recycling previously used paper by for drafts;
- checking on-screen more often before printing;
- sending more emails instead of letters.

Compare:
You still have not sent us your answer.

With:
To date, your answer has not arrived.

Compare:
If this amount does not arrive before 1 February, we will be obliged to
impose 50 " for administrative expenses.

With:
Sending your payment before 1 February will save you administrative
expenses of 50 ".

C.10. Be polite
Use the
conditional to
emphasise
politeness
English is a direct language. It is unnecessary to use overly formal
and polite expressions to make requests.

Depending on the context and relationship, a simple please may be
enough; e.g. Can you please return the signed document to me by
tomorrow?

Otherwise, the conditional form indicates your request is more polite;
e.g. Could you please return the signed document to me by
tomorrow?

For even more formality you can write something like; e.g. Would it
be possible for you to kindly return the signed document to our office
by tomorrow?

Note that inter-governmental communications may require an even
more stylised expression of politeness, depending on how sensitive
the communication is.


Standard
openings and
closings


For
letters and
emails:
Dear Madam, Yours faithfully
Dear Sir,
Dear Mr Jackson, Yours Sincerely
Dear Ms Jackson,
Dear John, Kind Regards

For
notes:
Note for the attention of Mr [ NAME ], [ Title ]

Thank you in advance for considering ! (my request, proposal, etc.)



C.11. Moving from a multi-cultural to an international approach
Advice is often given that you should adapt your writing to the language and
culture of your reader
19
.

For example:
In the South of
Europe:
1. Communication is generally more formal:
Dear Sir/Madam, possibly including title,
the hierarchical grade affects tone.

2. Communication is more structured: there is an
emphasis on the form used.

In the North of
Europe:
1. Communication is generally more informal:
first name and not a title,
more equal treatment, whatever the grade.

2. Communication is more direct: one goes straight to
the point.

For a
multicultural
public:
1. be polite, without being overly formal
20
.
2. be friendly, without being familiar.
3. be clear, without using humour or metaphor which your
recipient may not understand or may even take offence
at.
21



Examples: two e-mails written by different people who had the same working
relationship with the recipient: both emails are professional and courteous.

Dear Madam,

Thank you for your message.

The training room is equipped with the following:
beamer, white board, flip chart.

We did not accept more than 15 participants.

Please contact me for any additional information.

Sincerely,
Claudia Cardinale
Hello Anne,

Minna will request the registered
participants to inform us of their needs.
She is not here today or tomorrow and
will do so Wednesday on her return if
that is alright for you.

Thank you.
Karen




19
See work on the cultural differences by E.T. HALL and G. HOFSTEDE
20
Being extra polite is never offensive; being overly familiar can offend some cutural groups.
21
Avoid humour, implications and metaphors, which could not be included.

If you think that Europeans can be neatly divided into two homogenous cultural groups, and
only write to other Europeans, then this approach is probably adequate. But the European
Commission is also an international organisation.
In the past cultural differences were often a reason why communication could sometimes be
difficult. Today, however, after half a century of European unity, what was once a reason
can only be regarded as an excuse.

A more effective approach might be to transcend the multi-culturalism debate altogether, and
avoid most pitfalls of cross-cultural communication by using international or global English.

We are thus moving beyond plain English to global English.

What does global
English look like?

Short
sentences
Short sentences give international readers confidence and
minimize the risk of cross-cultural misunderstandings.

Long sentences tend to:
be difficult to translate accurately;
have complex structures that confuse international readers;
obscure the main point;
cause grammar mistakes;
create anxiety in people who dont read English fluently.

International readers may read slowly, one word at a time.
Therefore their short-term memory is strained by long sentences.
(By contrast, native English speakers usually read in phrases.)

Example: (27 words)
The Fixed Securities Fund portfolio has reduced the term of its
investments to match the average length to maturity of the
government bond market as a whole.

Better Version: ( 2 sentences, 12 and 15 words)
The Fixed Securities Fund portfolio has reduced the term of its
investments. The term now matches the average length to
maturity of the whole government bond market.




Avoid
False Subjects
Sentences starting with phrases like 'It is' and 'There are' can
confuse international readers, especially if the sentence is long.
In these cases, the words 'it' and 'there' usually have no meaning.
They are called false subjects. Try to start every sentence with a
word or phrase that means something.
If you occasionally use a false subject, make that sentence very
short.

Example:
It is extraordinary how warm the weather is for July.
It has been observed that a certain ambivalence prevails.
It will be in the Town Hall that Mika sings next Tuesday.

Better Version
The weather is extraordinarily warm for July.
We have noticed that most people are ambivalent.
Mika will sing in the Town Hall next Tuesday.


Avoid
Negative
Questions
Negative questions are often impossible to translate, and are
notoriously difficult for international readers. In many languages,
people answer 'yes' where the appropriate English answer would
be 'no'. Even one negative word in a question can destroy
communication.
When you ask a question, keep it very simple. Make sure you ask
only one question at a time.

Example:
You dont have the courage to acknowledge that your
allegations have no factual basis whatsoever, do you?
Are you a Belgian citizen but have not been in Belgian at all
during the last three years. Yes/No.

Better Version
Do you admit that you made false allegations?
Are you a Belgian citizen? Yes/No
Have you stayed out of Belgium for the last three years?
Yes/No


Avoid
Double Negatives
Double negatives are doubly difficult for international readers. In
English, two negatives make a positive. In some other languages,
two negatives emphasise the negative. Thus an international
reader may assume that not unusual means very unusual.

Example:
The 2005/2006 result is not displeasing. (International readers
may assume this means it is very displeasing)

Better Version:
The 2005/2006 result is pleasing.




Avoid
Negative Words
Negative words are:
obviously negative words (e.g. nobody, unprepared);
words with negative implications (e.g. only, unless, without,
except, excluding, despite, default, delete, cancel, remove,
notwithstanding);
words that have a negative feeling (e.g. cancel, reject).

Negative language is hard to translate and often causes
grammatical errors. Negative language is confusing, because it
is hard to think about non-existent things.

Negative language has psychological effects that can be
damaging in an international context. Some cultures regard
negative language as insulting, embarrassing or shameful.
If you must use a negative word, keep that sentence extremely
short.

Example:
The report will not be finished until late January.

Better Version:
The report will be finished in late January.


Use modal
verbs carefully
Modal verbs suggest the mood of a verb: is this something that
may happen, might happen, should happen, can happen, could
happen, or will happen?
Modal verbs are used casually by mother-tongue English
speakers. Each modal verb has several possible meanings.
Check all sentences where you have used a modal verb. Is your
mood absolutely clear? If not, you should rephrase the
sentence.

Examples:
The new photocopier should arrive on Tuesday.
They could do the following.
Can you open a window please?
Could you open a window please?
Would you open a window please?

Better Versions:
We expect the new photocopier to arrive on Tuesday. OR
The new photocopier must arrive on Tuesday. OR Please
ensure that the new photocopier arrives on Tuesday.
We believe they will do the following. OR They are legally
entitled to do the following. OR They have several options
!
Please open a window.




Idioms Use literal language: say exactly what you mean. Either avoid
idioms or explain them, because international readers often
interpret them literally.
Idioms are common phrases, often metaphorical, that have no
obvious logic. Everyday English is saturated with idioms:
the tip of the iceberg
just around the corner
right across the spectrum

Examples:
Our client has been done justice to by the book.
Now were cooking with gas.
At the end of the day, rugby was the winner.

Better Versions:
Our client was treated with impeccable fairness.
Now were advancing rapidly.
Ultimately, the game raised the reputation of rugby.


Use pronouns
carefully

The following pronouns can sometimes confuse international
readers: it, he, him, his, she, her, hers, they, them, their, theirs,
this, these, that, those.

Whenever you use one of these pronouns, check that your
meaning is obvious. Many languages do not use pronouns, or
use different pronouns.

Example:
Although property figures may tend to make the recent
earthquake appear to be a relatively minor event economically
speaking, other data suggest that its impact in the medium term
might be significant.

Better Version:
Property loss figures suggest the recent earthquake will have
relatively minor economic effects. However, other data suggest
that the earthquakes economic impact will be significant over
the next five to ten years.


C.12. Check spelling and grammar
Incorrect grammar and punctuation can make your writing harder to read than necessary and
confuse your reader. Your reader will be frustrated having to read a passage several times to
make sense of it because the punctuation or grammar is poor.

Spelling Use a spell-checker or a dictionary. Remember that a spell-
checker only checks spelling, but not meaning.

e.g. The Director-General wants everyone to reduce their waste,
is different to The Director-General wants everyone to reduce
their waist.


Grammar Re-read your text and check that it does not contain errors, for
example:

- missing articles:
Example: She/he is tax inspector.

- incorrect verb tense:
Example: I am working for DG TAXUD. (when this is not a
temporary situation)

- an incorrect use of prepositions:
Example: I have been working for DG ENV since two weeks!

If in doubt, first check the Inter-Institutional Style Guide and then
refer to a current grammar textbook
22
.


22
John SEELY, Oxford A-Z of Grammar and Punctuation, OUP Oxford, 2007


C.13. Check punctuation and capitalisation
Use punctuation and capital letters correctly.

Punctuation is
an aid to meaning
Punctuation is an aid to meaning. It can also change meaning.
Compare:
The participants who backed the proposal are pleased with the
results.
With:
The participants, who backed the proposal, are pleased with the
results.

Or
A woman without her man is nothing.
With
A woman: without her, man is nothing.

Commas can be particularly tricky:
- The comma separates the elements in a list, when they
are not connected by "and", "or", "nor".
Your text will be linguistically correct if you check the spelling,
grammar and punctuation.
- The comma can also mark a subordinate clause.
The writer, having finished the first draft, will closely read it
again.
- It can never separate the subject of the verb nor it of its
complements.


Capital letters Take care to use the capital letters correctly. In English, proper
nouns such as the names of institutions are capitalised. If in
doubt, refer to the Inter-Institutional Style Guide
23
.

Examples:
- the European Commission;
- the European Parliament;
- the French Community of Belgium;
- the higher Council of French language;
- the national Centre of scientific research.



23
http://publications.europa.eu/code/en/en-4100400en.htm.



Third step: Revise
Page layout Having finished writing, look at your text at arms length and judge if
the layout:
- is attractive (D.1. sheet);
- makes it easy for the reader to find his way around your
document (D.2. sheet).


Re-read Reread your document making sure you have used all the
techniques covered (D.3. sheet).



D.1. Hallmarks of good layout
Make it easy to
skim and scan
Your reader has to be able:
1. understand your main points quickly;
2. find any information he/she wants easily.


Layout should
enhance your
document


headings

white
space
Plenty of white space is important.
1. add subtitles and numbers to long documents;
2. separate your paragraphs with several returns;
3. use lists, using bullets or dashes.


formatting Use intelligent, consistent formatting:
1. bold for key words;
2. few different fonts (maximum 2 per text);
3. follow page-setting and style sheets specific to your
organisation.


graphs,
tables
Add interest to your document with illustrations, if appropriate:
graphs, tables, illustrations, photographs.


D.2. A method to make a document easier to read, understand and
recall
Try modular
writing
Modular writing (also called "block writing") uses the Mapping
Information
24
method.
- Mapping Information (IMAP) is a standardised method of
analysis, organisation and presentation of information.
- It is based on the way the brain collects and memorises
information.


Present your
information in
modules
The method organises information in smaller and easily locatable
units. It is appropriate for long professional documents
25
, in
particular for texts on the Web.

Moreover, it makes it easier for:
1. the writer to develop and revise documents;
2. the reader to read and find information.


This manual is
an example of
modular writing
The writing and layout of this manual was based, in part, on IMAP
techniques:
1. one subject and supporting information per page;
2. descriptive title (often a question which prepares the mind);
3. meaningful subtitles (left-hand column);
4. each sheet is divided into smaller units (frameworks);
5. written in short, active sentences, addressed directly to the
reader;
6. visual references: numbered lists, key words in bold.


24
See a description of this method and examples of its positive results at: http://www.infomap.com
25
Such as: reports, minutes of meetings, information notes, summary notes


D.3. What personal impression will I leave?
Re-read! Your professional writing conveys your own brand image as well as
that of your organisation.

Make sure you are projecting the best image possible. When you re-
read, do it through the eyes of your reader.



Tips for re-
reading
What can you do to make your revising more effective?

1. Do not revise straight after writing. Do something else for a
while and revise later, when you can look at your document with
fresh eyes.
2. Read your document on paper instead of on screen.
3. Read it aloud, sentence by sentence.
4. Ask someone else to read it.


Check the
readability of
your text
1. Apply the "visual test": look at your text from a distance: is it
attractive?
2. Apply the "auditory test": read your text aloud: does it read
easily?



Concl usi on: devel op your ski l l
Checklist: How to check the effectiveness of my text?
!

A. PREPARATION
A.1. Did I fully analyse the topic (mind-mapping, 7 Questions)?
A.2. Is my objective clear?
A.3. Did I consider my reader?
A.4. Did I organise and outline my ideas?
A.5. Does my structure emphasize whats important?
A.6. Is my structure persuasive?
A.7. Is my request for change be positively framed?



B. WRITE
B.1. Have I used clear words? Have I mostly used the active voice?
B.2. Are my sentences short and well-constructed?
B. 3. Are my sentences and paragraphs logically connected?
B. 4. Is my text structured: introduction, paragraphs, conclusion?
B. 5. Am I concise? Did I get rid of unnecessary words?
B. 6. Did I use vocabulary appropriate for my reader?
B. 7. Have I used positive language?
B. 8. Did I speak directly to my reader?
B. 9. Have I been diplomatic (polite)?
B.10. Have I adapted my language and style for a multi-cultural readership?
B.11 Have I used appropriate fixed expressions?
B.12. Is my writing correct (spelling and grammar)?
B 13. Have I used punctuation and capitals correctly?




C. AFTER HAVING WRITTEN
C.1. Is my document attractive to look at?
C.2. Does my layout facilitate rapid scanning and skimming?
C.3. Have I re-read the document myself? Has it passed the visual and auditory tests?




Annex 1. Formulas for letters and e-mail, in French and English
Relationship
formal to informal
Formulas in French Formulas in English
(British)
Formulas in your
language
Formal relation with an
immediate superior
Madame la Directrice, Dear Sir, Dear Madam,
Je vous prie dagrer,
Madame la Directrice,
lexpression de ma haute
considration.
Yours faithfully ,
Formal relation with
somebody that one does
not know (an institution
or an administration for
example)
Madame, Monsieur, Dear Sir or Madam,
Salutations distingues, Yours faithfully ,
Formal relation with
somebody whose name
you know
Madame,
Monsieur,
Dear Ms Smith, Dear Mr
Brown,

Sincres salutations, Yours sincerely,
Relatively formal relation
with somebody you
know personally
Chre Madame,
Cher Monsieur,
Dear Ms Smith, Dear Mr
Brown,

Cordialement,
Bien vous,
Yours sincerely,
Impersonal relation and
most standard formulas
Bonjour, Peter,
Cordialement, Regards,
Informal relation Bonjour Pierre, Hi Peter,
Cordialement,
Bien toi,
Regards,


Informal relation with
somebody you know
quite well
Chre Marie, Dear Mary, Hello Mary,
Trs cordialement,
Amicalement,
Kind regards, Best
regards,

In a group Chers collaborateurs,
Bonjour tous,
Dear colleagues, Dear
all,

Cordialement, Kind regards, Best
regards,

Other formulas Je vous remercie de
votre collaboration.
Thanks for your help.
Davance, merci. Thanks in advance.
Bon travail,
Bonne journe,
Many thanks,

Annex 2. A before-after example of clear writing
Below is a before-and-after example of clear writing. Which text do you think is the most
readable and most effective ?

BEFORE :


Subject: Promotion of the European Business Test Panel (EBTP) to your members

Dear Sir,

We would like to draw your attention to the existence of the European Business Test Panel
(EBTP) managed by the INTERNAL Market and Services DG of the European Commission,
which would be likely to interest the members of your organisation.

Created in 2003, the European Business Test Panel (EBTP) is a consultation tool, consisting of
companies of various sizes, working in various sectors and located in all the Member States of
the Union, and that are willing to periodically answer electronically delivered questionnaires,
requiring only 15 to 20 maximum minutes to be supplemented.

The Commission aims to start three to eight maximum consultations a year, covering questions,
both general and specific, likely to have significant impacts on the European companies. On the
basis of the relevance of the consultation, companies can choose not to answer, if the subject
does not interest them. Participation in the EBTP is carried out on an entirely voluntary basis at
all levels. As from the confirmation of their membership of the panel, companies will be invited to
fill out questionnaires for the next consultations. There is nevertheless no obligation to do so.

The panel is consulted at various legislative proposal preparation stages at the level of the
Commission. The results of a consultation can be used in impact study and evaluation
procedures. In other cases, results are, for example, used by employees to determine
communication strategies.

The driving factor of the EBTP is that, in the consultation strategy of the Commission, the data
provided by the various companies can inform the decision-making process at European level.
To stimulate the participation of the companies of all sizes and of all sectors in all the Member
States, questionnaires are translated into all the official languages of the European Union.

The panel was consulted recently on the question of "Flexicurity". A consultation on the fight
against discrimination was very recently launched to evaluate the need to have additional
legislation introduced at European level.

The next consultations envisaged will cover SEPA (single euro payments area) and the
European Private Company statute (EPC). In the first case, the panel will be invited to provide
the data which will be entered into the communication strategy that the European Central Bank
will define for SEPA. In the second case, the Commission aims to find an evidence to determine
the advantages of an EPC.

Consultations on Solvit and the green industrial policy are being studied, at present.


Consequently, we would like to know if you would be interested to inform your members about
the EBTP.




Parallel to our contact persons at the national level in all the European Member States (as well
as Iceland and Norway), we promote the EBTP to encourage companies to subscribe and take
part in the consultations.

For example, a meeting about the EBTP was organised on 29 March this year by M. , national
coordinator of the EBTP for France. This meeting, during which M. from the INTERNAL Market
and Services DG presented the issues of the panel and which took place on very positive note,
allowed to bring together some representatives of professional organisations including your
collaborator, Mrs.

In order to develop our initiative, we would like to know if the MEDEF organises
events/conferences during which information booklets on the EBTP could be distributed to your
members.

In addition, we would like to know if information on the EBTP could be inserted in the Internet site
of your organisation. We note that your organisation links to Solvit, with whom we work in close
cooperation, for the promotion of our respective projects in the companies.

For additional information, we ask you to consult our web site: http://ec.europa.eu/yourvoice/ebtp.

We also request that you contact M. (Tel.:) or ourselves for any additional information that you
would like to obtain concerning our requests.

We trust that our initiative will be worthy of your complete attention.

[ signature ]

AFTER:
Subject: Promotion of the European Business Test Panel (EBTP) to your members

Dear Sir or Madam,

Are you aware of the EBTP, European Business Test Panel, a European Commission initiative?
We thought that this tool might interest the members of your organisation: please find, below, more
information about this tool.

1/What is the European Business Test Panel (EBTP)?

The EBTP consults member companies at various preparation stages of legislative proposals prepared by
the Commission. The EBTP is composed of companies:

- of all sizes,
- working in various sectors,
- located in all the Member States of the European Union,
- willing to regularly answer questionnaires via the Internet.

2/How does the EBTP work?

On voluntary basis, member companies are invited to take part, via Internet, in a maximum of 8 consultations
a year.

To encourage participation, the questionnaires:

- are translated into all the official languages of the European Union;
- can be answered in only 15 to 20 minutes.

3/What topics are discussed in the consultations?

The topics cover both specific and general issues, likely to have important effects on European companies,
such as:

- flexicurity,
- discrimination,
- SEPA (single euro payment area),
- EPC (European private company statute),
- green industrial policy.

4/What is the purpose of the EBTP?

The results of a consultation can be used in impact and evaluation procedures. For example, the
consultation on discrimination was launched to evaluate the need to have additional legislation at European
level.

The results may also be used in the definition of communication strategies as in the data provided by the
members of the panel during the SEPA became part of the communication strategy, defined by the European
Central Bank for SEPA.




5/How to become a member of the EBTP?

Companies wishing to join the panel can complete a registration form available on:
http://ec.europa.eu/yourvoice/ipm/forms/dispatch?form=250&lang=fr

Membership is free.
After the membership application is processed, companies will be invited to fill out questionnaires for the next
consultations.

Please let us know if:

- you think your members would be interested to know more about the EBTP;
- you can include information about the EBTP on your organisation web site;
- you will soon be organising event/conferences where information about the EBTP could be
distributed to your members.

More information about the EBTP is available from our web site: http://ec.europa.eu/yourvoice/ebtp.

And please, feel free to contact us on......... if you would prefer to talk directly to one of our team.


Yours faithfully,
[ signature ]



Useful Words Tips for Writing in Modern Business English
Linking Words

To Add:

and, again, and then, besides, equally important, finally, further,
furthermore, nor, too, next, lastly, what's more, moreover, in
addition, firstly (secondly, etc.)
To Compare:

whereas, but, yet, on the other hand, however, nevertheless, on the
other hand, on the contrary, by comparison, where, compared to, up
against, balanced against, vis--vis, but, although, conversely,
meanwhile, after all, in contrast, although this may be true
To Prove:

because, for, since, for the same reason, obviously, evidently,
furthermore, moreover, besides, indeed, in fact, in addition, in any
case, that is
To Show
Exception:

yet, still, however, nevertheless, in spite of, despite, of course, once
in a while, sometimes
To Show Time:

immediately, thereafter, soon, after a few hours, finally, then, later,
previously, formerly, first (second, etc.), next, and then
To Repeat:

in brief, as I have said, as I have noted, as has been noted
To Emphasise:

definitely, extremely, obviously, in fact, indeed, in any case,
absolutely, positively, naturally, surprisingly, always, forever,
perennially, eternally, never, emphatically, unquestionably, without a
doubt, certainly, undeniably, without reservation
To Show
Sequence:

first, second, third, and so forth. A, B, C, and so forth. next, then,
following this, at this time, now, at this point, after, afterward,
subsequently, finally, consequently, previously, before this,
simultaneously, concurrently, thus, therefore, hence, next, and then,
soon
To Give an
Example:

for example, for instance, in this case, in another case, on this
occasion, in this situation, take the case of, to demonstrate, to
illustrate, as an illustration, to illustrate
To Summarise
or Conclude:
in brief, on the whole, summing up, to conclude, in conclusion, as I
have shown, as I have said, hence, therefore, accordingly, thus, as a
result, consequently, on the whole
... ...

Phrases to
Avoid


The reason for
For the reason that
Owing/due to the fact that
In light of the fact that
Considering the fact that
On the grounds that
This is why

= because, since, why, as
On the occasion of
In a situation in which
Under circumstances in which

= when
As regards
In reference to
With regard to
Concerning the matter of
Where x is concerned

= about
It is crucial that
It is necessary that
There is a need/necessity for
It is important that
Cannot be avoided

= must, should
Is able to
Has the opportunity to
Has the capacity to
Has the ability to

= can
It is possible that
There is a chance that
It could happen that
The possibility exists for

= may, might, could



Simplify your
expressions




Avoid: Use:
along the lines of
as a consequence of
as of the date of
as regards
by means of
costs the sum of
despite the fact that
documentation
during which time
for the duration of
for the purpose of
for the reason that
hereunder
if and when
in accordance with
in excess of
in relation to
in the absence of
in the event of/that
in the majority of instances
in the neighbourhood of
in view of the fact that
incorporating
is of the opinion
may in the future
moreover
notwithstanding
occasioned by
on behalf of
on the grounds that
on the occasion that
otherwise
owing to
peruse
predominant
provided that
pursuant to
said/such/same
subject to
subsequent to/upon
that being the case
the question as to whether
until such time
whatsoever
with a view to
with effect from
such as, as in
because
from
about, on the subject of
by
costs
though, although
papers, documents
while
during, while
to, for
because
below
if, when (but not both)
in line with, because of
more than
about
without
if
most, mostly
about, around
as, because
which includes
thinks
may, might, could
and, also, as well
even if, despite, still, yet
caused by, because of
for
because
when
or
because of
read, read carefully, look at
main
if, as long as
under, because of, in line with
the/this/that
depending on, under, keeping to
after
if so
whether
until
whatever, what, any
to, so that
from


Formal Tone


How formal? Generally, avoid using the well-worn, stock fixed
expressions which tend to weigh down a text and make it
boring and unoriginal, e.g. : I would be grateful if you, I have
the honour, etc.
However, in certain situations, you cannot avoid using these
expressions which give a formal tone to administrative text.
You will need to use your judgement.


Get rid of
outdated fixed
expressions

You can often remove these fixed expressions without
changing meaning or tone. These expressions add nothing
to your writing. Try leaving them out.


a total of
absolutely
abundantly
actually
all things being equal
as a matter of fact
as far as I am concerned
at the end of the day
at this moment in time
basically
current
currently
during the period from
each and every one
existing
extremely
I am of the opinion that
I would like to say
I would like to take this
opportunity to


in due course
in the end
in the final analysis
in this connection
in total
in view of the fact that
it should be understood
last but not least
obviously
of course
other things being equal
quite
really
really quite
regarding the (noun), it was
the fact of the matter is
the month(s) of
to all intents and purposes
to ones own mind
very


Useful Phrases
Introducing /
referring to

Following!
With reference to!
In referring to your note!
In reply to !
I acknowledge receipt of!
During our telephone conversation on + date, !
Following our telephone conversation on + date!
On + date!, you informed me that!
Thank you for bringing (! ) to my/our attention (!)
In bringing the following (question/matter) to me/us, !

Indirect phrases
It has been brought to my attention that!
It has been reported in Parliament that!

Events - Consequences

The incident which happened on + date at/in!has
demonstrated the need to !

Recent events which happened at/in !.have brought to
light/shown the need for!

A significant (or major) problem has been reported to us
concerning!


Sending
Information



Please find enclosed!
Please find attached!
You will find enclosed!
I have taken this opportunity to send/forward to you!



Requesting

Please + verb (instruction/authoritative)
Can you please + verb! ?
Would/could you + verb ! ?
I would be grateful if you would/could + verb!
I would like to ask you to + verb!
Is it possible for you to + verb! ?
Would it be possible for you to! ?




Setting out
facts / reasons
I/We note I/We observe I/We ascertain I/We consider!
It appears/seems (that)!
I would like to draw your attention to! / I would like to bring to
your attention! / I would like to show (you)!/ I would like to
demonstrate (how)!
I would like to present (a problem)
I would like to propose/suggest (a solution)
It is important to + verb! It would be useful to + verb!
I think it is necessary to remind you that!


Insisting I would like to underline!
I must underline the fact that!
Allow me to state that!
I would like to state that!
I would like to refer back to the points mentioned !
I would like to remind you that!
It is important to remember!


Confirming

I take note of your wish/decision to!
I/We hereby take note of your wish to !
I/We have taken note of !
I/We would like to confirm !
I/We are unable to !
It is/will be part of your (responsibility) to !


Justifying /
Explaining

By virtue of !
In accordance with!
With regard to !
Regarding/concerning !
Taking ! into account, !
Given that !
Seeing that !


Conditions

In the case of !
If !
Supposing that !
Failing !


The finish

Please do not hesitate to contact me/us, should you require
any further information.
Thanking you in advance for your (assistance)
If you would like further information, please contact me/us on
(telephone number/e-mail ).



Bi bl i ography:

Grammar and Writing
Strunk and White, The Elements of Style, Longman, 2000
Zinsser, On Writing Well, Collins, 2006

Presentation Skills

Leeds, Power Speak, Piatkus, 1990
Reynolds, Presentation Zen, New Riders, 2008

Drafting in the European institutions
- Inter-institutional Style Guide, European Communities; The Guide is on-line at the
following address: http://publications.europa.eu/code/en/en-000100.htm
- Joint Practical Guide of the European Parliament, the Council and the Commission for
persons involved in the drafting of legislation within the Community Institutions,
http://europa.eu/eur-lex/en/about/techleg/guide/index_en.htm
- Fight the fog: how to write clearly, DG Translation of the European Commission:
http://ec.europa.eu/translation/writing/clear_writing/fight_the_fog_en.pdf
- Translation aids on Europa: http://ec.europa.eu/translation/language_aids/english_en.htm

Other Web Resources
- British National Corpus (BNC). A corpus is a collection of samples of written and spoken
language. Type in the word or phrase youre interested in, and youll get a list of instances
headed by a note of the total frequency of the word or phrase useful for deciding which word or
phrase is more familiar ad so better to use in your document. http://www.natcorp.ox.ac.uk/
- Global Language Monitor. A company that documents, analyses and tracks trends in
language use worldwide. http://www.languagemonitor.com

Exerci ses
Exercise 1 : Eurospeak & false friends
1. The Administrative Assistant convoked us to a training course.
2. Please find in attach the relevant documents.
3. Todays training action is designed to introduce you to the work of DGX.
4. The Commission will launch an action to tell citizens about the new border arrangements.
5. Your affectation to DGX will take effect on April 1
st
.
6. Delegations will find annexed a copy of the report.
7. You may send your candidature to DGX.
8. Controls of budget spending are made by the Court of Auditors.
9. A note was diffused to the DGX correspondents in the Member States.
10. EMSA disposes of a large budget.
11. Budget engagements came to 3 million.
12. Send your eventual comments on this guide to Unit Y.
13. The evolution of this matter will be watched with interest.
14. The programme will be executed in three stages.
15. The Chair exposed the difficult situation.
16. Schemes in favour of refugees will be launched next year.
17. Globally, delegates were satisfied with the meeting.
18. Ms X asked of EMSA would be implicated in the exercise.
19. Unfortunately, the Head of Unit could not assist the meeting.

20. Lastly, the conditions were accepted.
21. The assessment showed the country had good perspectives.
22. The inspectors are responsible for carrying out controls.
23. Lastly, the conditions were accepted.
24. An eventual delay could damage the agreement reached.
25. The annexes can be found behind the document.
26. Please could you remember all staff that badges must be displayed on entry.
27. The meeting was sensible and needed to be reported until next week.
28. She/he summarised the meeting shortly.
29. In case visitors do not have identification, they will not be granted.
30. Please join a copy of your CV.
31. An important sum of money has been earmarked for Y.
32. The financial package was not very interesting.
33. The Chair thanked Mr S for his intervention and concluded the meeting.
34. The Director will normally come to todays meeting.
35. We must follow the orientations set out in the strategy paper.
36. I have resumed the main points in the meeting.
37. The matter is being dealt with by our services.
38. Unfortunately, the Head of Unit could not assist the meeting.
39. I constat that electricity consumption is high.
40. I have a proposition to make.
41. I would like to verify the figures in the report.

Exercise2 Passive voice

1. The following study was undertaken to develop a working basis for the restructuring of the
Accounts Department filing system.


2. A number of things are indicated by these results.


3. Heart disease is considered the leading cause of death in the United States.


4. The balloon is positioned in an area of blockage and is inflated.


5. The meetings were held by the Ministers at the European Commission in Brussels.

6. These rooms were booked by the Unit Secretary six months ago.


7. The guest speakers will be invited by ECHA to evaluate the scientific risks.


8. It was decided by the Committee to hold the conference at an external venue, where the
catering would be provided by the hotel.


9. It was felt by the Project Team that the risk to the project success identified by the
Researchers was enough to jeopardise funding.


10. When the application has been completed by you, it must be returned by registered post to
the address indicated by the Unit Head.

Exercise 3 Modifying Clauses

1. The review, which was recently published, numbered 200 pages.

2. The procedure, that is currently in place, is too long and exclusive to be effective.

3. The canteen, that was recently opened, is not effective.

4. The member state that shows the highest ratings, will host the event.

5. The Treaty, which was recently signed, provides for emergency aid.

6. The new pension plan will not affect members of staff who have seniority.

7. The candidate who is applying for the post has many years of experience.

8. The case has been brought before the judge who was presiding.

9. Matters which have to do with finance must be submitted to the Auditors.

10. The report which was published in 2009 contained details of European Aid to Africa.