Permaculture principles come from the observation of natural systems which can help

us interact with different aspects in our lives to promote well-being. In many ways,
families have the same characteristics as any natural system, therefore we can always
benefit from looking at them with a pair of permaculture 'glasses.'
When we merge our understanding of these principles with our responses as parents
we have the possibility of placing in our family lives, the same health, vibrancy and
productivity that we inherently find in the permaculture garden. Here are permaculture
principles in action
1. Observe and interact
!rom the word go we are observing our babies and listening to their cries. We continue
this observation of our children, to establish what works well with them and what
factors contribute to difficult situations and behaviour. How do they respond to different
foods and activities"
How can we interact with these observations to prevent, diminish or enhance
behaviours" #ust by looking, we can see where our energy drains are. $ime can be
spent observing the situations that precipitate tantrums and illness, helping us to
intervene earlier, forestalling them, and using the energy in a more beneficial way.
2. Catch and store energy
$he energy that we put into our family system determines the energy that we get out. If
we put energy into family meals, outings and games we are more likely to get fun,
laughter, growth and connections as a result. %emembering precious memories
together by sharing family stories, photo albums and memories enables us to make
more use of these positive e&periences.
It is of e'ual importance to prevent negative energy from building up, in order to deal
with, and dissipate any bad feelings from arising. $he proverb make hay while the sun
shines reminds us to catch opportunities as they arise. When our children are babies,
we can sleep when they sleep. With older children and teenagers we can be open to
talking when they want to talk.
3. Apply self-regulation and accept feedback
It is imperative for our children to learn how to self-regulate and establish their own
limits rather than these being enforced by the parents. If as parents we are continually
laying down the law, it can become draining for us, and actually encourage children to
do things behind our backs. If they can agree reasonable amounts and learn to stick to
them it can save a lot of tiring debates and provide a useful lessons on self-regulation.
When we give feedback, we sometimes attach non-related conse'uences. We say
'don't (ump on the sofa or you can't go to your friend's house.' $his makes it difficult for
the child to process the actual message, because they are distracted by working out
the connection and whether they want the conse'uences.
!aber and )a*lish talk about 'natural conse'uences,' the actual ramifications of an
event, what will in fact happen if you (ump on the sofa+ 'it might break+ you will give me
a headache+ you could knock over the plant ne&t to it.' When shown the natural
conse'uences they are more able to process the information and alter their behaviour
appropriately.
!eedback can come about very 'uickly in family dynamics+ young children do not store
their feelings, they immediately communicate what is happening to them. With this as
an e&ample, we must try to create a culture where everyone is listened to and
constructive feedback can be given and received. $his also means being open to
receiving feedback from your children about the changes they would like to see in your
behaviour. Parenting is a two way process of learning and growth.
,hildren unconsciously mirror our behaviour, our needs and emotions. - frustrating
element in a child's behaviour may well be a behavioural trait of ours. It is therefore
important for us to look at our own conduct and emotions so that we can provide a
better, more positive e&ample for the entire family. - valuable way of bringing about
such positive change is through family feedback sessions.
4. Use sall and slo! solutions
It takes time to re-establish good rapport with our children especially if things have
been challenging. ,hanges will not occur overnight, rather they will change gradually
over time while trust is rebuilt. .pending positive time with your children every day -
playing, talking, listening, (ust being with them - can start to ease the wheels.
$his e&cerpt taken from "eople # "eraculture /$-%ook edition also available
here0 by 1ooby )acnamara, which e&plores how to use permaculture principles and
design in situations ranging from our own health and relationships to education
systems.