The Fevolulion Slarls al Hone

64
SoxunI vIoIonco Is offon fronfod ns n hy-
or-doIIcnfo Issuo fhnf cnn onIy bo nddrossod
by frnInod rofossIonnIs such ns Inw onforco-
monf or modIcnI sfnff. SurvIvors nro consId-
orod dnmngod, nfhoIogIzod boyond ronIr.
Aggrossors nro orcoIvod of ns nnImnIs, un-
nbIo fo bo rodoomod or frnnsformod.
l
Thoso
oxfromo nffIfudos nIIonnfo ovory-dny com-
munIfy mombors frIonds nnd fnmIIy of
survIvors nnd nggrossors from nrfIcInf-
Ing In fho crIfIcnI rocoss of suorfIng sur-
vIvors nnd hoIdIng nggrossors nccounfnbIo
for nbusIvo bohnvIor. IronIcnIIy, survIvors
ovorwhoImIngIy furn fo frIonds nnd fnmIIy
for suorf, snfofy, nnd ofIons for nccounf-
nbIIIfy sfrnfogIos.
2
CommunIfIos AgnInsf !no nnd Abuso
(CA!A), n grnssroofs nnfI-rno orgnnIzIng
rojocf In SonffIo, hns workod wIfh dIvorso
grous who hnvo oxorIoncod soxunI vIoIonco
wIfhIn fhoIr communIfIos fo boffor undor-
sfnnd fho nnfuro of soxunI vIoIonco nnd rno
cuIfuro, nurfuro communIfy vnIuos fhnf nro
InconsIsfonf wIfh rno nnd nbuso, nnd do-
voIo communIfy-bnsod sfrnfogIos for snfo-
fy, suorf, nnd nccounfnbIIIfy. !sIng somo
gonornI guIdoIInos ns fho bonos for onch com-
munIfy-bnsod rocoss, wo work wIfh survI-
vors nnd fhoIr communIfIos fo IdonfIfy fhoIr
own unIquo gonIs, vnIuos, nnd ncfIons fhnf
ndd osh fo fhoIr dIsfIncf snfofy/nccounfnbII-
Ify modoI. In fho foIIowIng nor, wo dIscuss
fhoso communIfy nccounfnbIIIfy guIdoIInos
nnd rovIdo fhroo IIIusfrnfIvo oxnmIos of
communIfy-bnsod modoIs dovoIood by nc-
fIvIsfs In SonffIo.
Iocnuso socInI nofworks cnn vnry wIdoIy on
fho bnsIs of vnIuos, oIIfIcs, cuIfuros, nnd
nffIfudos, wo hnvo found fhnf hnvIng n ono-
sIzo-hfs-nII communIfy nccounfnbIIIfy modoI
Is nof n ronIIsfIc or rosocffuI wny fo nronch
nn nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss. Howovor, wo hnvo
nIso Ionrnod fhnf fhoro nro somo Imorfnnf
orgnnIzIng rIncIIos fhnf hoI fo mnxImIzo
fho snfofy nnd InfogrIfy of ovoryono InvoIvod
IncIudIng fho survIvor, fho nggrossor, nnd
ofhor communIfy mombors. An nccounf-
nbIIIfy modoI musf bo cronfIvo nnd oxIbIo
onough fo bo n good hf for fho unIquonoss
of onch communIfy`s noods, whIIo nIso boIng
dIscIIInod onough fo Incorornfo somo crIfI-
cnI guIdoIInos ns fho frnmowork for Ifs sfrnf-
ogy.
3
IoIow Is n IIsf of fon guIdoIInos fhnf wo hnvo
found Imorfnnf nnd usofuI fo consIdor.
CARA's AccountabiIity PrincipIes
1. Pecoghize Ihe humahiIy oI everyohe ih-
volved. If Is ImornfIvo fhnf fho foIks who
orgnnIzo fho nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss nro cIonr
nbouf rocognIzIng fho humnnIfy of nII oo-
Io InvoIvod, IncIudIng fho survIvor(s), fho
nggrossor(s), nnd fho communIfy. ThIs cnn
bo onsIor snId fhnn dono!
If Is nnfurnI, nnd ovon honIfhy, fo fooI rngo
nf fho nggrossor for nssnuIfIng nnofhor or-
son, osocInIIy n orson fhnf wo cnro nbouf.
Howovor, If Is crIfIcnI fhnf wo nro groundod
In n vnIuo of rocognIzIng fho comIoxIfy of
onch orson, IncIudIng oursoIvos. CIvon fho
noods nnd vnIuos of n nrfIcuInr communIfy,
nn nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss for fho nggrossor
cnn bo confronfnfIonnI, ovon nngry, buf If
shouId nof bo do-humnnIzIng.
tukIng vIsks: Imp!ementIng
gvussvoots communIty uccountubI!Ity stvutegIes
Wri//en I, o collec/ite of uonen of color fron Connu-
ni/iee Agoine/ Iope onJ AIuee (CAIA). Alieo Bierrio,
Onion Corrillo, 1Ioni ColIer/, XonJro 1Iorro, Tler,n
KigtonoeuJ`Voel/i, onJ Slole Moulono
Confronling Parlner Abuse in Aclivisl Connunilies
65
ohumnnIznfIon of nggrossors confrIbufos fo
n Inrgor confoxf of orossIon for ovoryono.
Ior oxnmIo, nIIonnfIon nnd dohumnnIzn-
fIon of fho offondIng orson Incronsos n com-
munIfy`s vuInornbIIIfy fo boIng fnrgofod for
dIsroorfIonnI crImInnI jusfIco orossIon
fhrough hoIghfonIng fho monsfor-noss of
nnofhor communIfy mombor. ThIs Is oso-
cInIIy fruo for mnrgInnIIzod communIfIos
(such ns ooIo of coIor, ooIo wIfh dIsnbIII-
fIos, oor ooIo, nnd quoor ooIo) who nro
nIrondy fnrgofod by fho crImInnI sysfom bo-
cnuso of fhoIr ofhor-noss. Whon ono orson
In our communIfy Is IdonfIhod ns n monsfor,
fhnf IdonfIfy Is offon gonornIIzod fo ovory-
ono In fho communIfy. ThIs gonornIIznfIon
cnn ovon bo mndo by ofhor mombors of fho
mnrgInnIIzod communIfy bocnuso of Infor-
nnIIzod orossIon.
4
AIso, dohumnnIzIng fho nggrossor undor-
mInos fho rocoss of nccounfnbIIIfy for fho
whoIo communIfy. If wo sonrnfo oursoIvos
from fho offondors by sfIgmnfIzIng fhom fhon
wo fnII fo soo how wo confrIbufod fo condI-
fIons fhnf nIIow vIoIonco fo hnon.
2. PrioriIize Ihe selI-deIermihaIioh oI Ihe
survivor. SoIf-doformInnfIon Is fho nbIIIfy fo
mnko docIsIons nccordIng fo ono`s own froo
wIII nnd soIf-guIdnnco wIfhouf oufsIdo ros-
suro or coorcIon. Whon n orson Is soxunIIy
nssnuIfod, soIf-doformInnfIon Is rofoundIy
undormInod. Thoroforo, fho survIvor`s vnI-
uos nnd noods shouId bo rIorIfIzod, rocog-
nIzod nnd rosocfod.
Tho survIvor shouId nof bo objocfIhod or
mInImIzod ns n symboI of nn Idon Insfond of
nn ncfunI orson. If Is crIfIcnI fo fnko Info
nccounf fho survIvor`s vIsIon for whon, why,
whoro nnd how fho nbusor wIII bo hoId nc-
counfnbIo. If Is nIso Imorfnnf fo rocognIzo
fhnf fho survIvor musf hnvo fho rIghf fo
chooso fo Iond nnd convoy fho Inn, nrfIc-
Info In Ioss of n IondorshI roIo, or nof bo
nrf of fho orgnnIzIng nf nII. Tho survIvor
shouId nIso hnvo fho oorfunIfy fo IdonfIfy
who wIII bo InvoIvod In fhIs rocoss. Somo
survIvors mny hnd If hoIfuI for frIonds or
somoono from oufsIdo of fho communIfy fo
hoI nssoss nnd fncIIIfnfo fho rocoss wIfh
fhoIr communIfy. To romofo oxIIcIf shnrod
rosonsIbIIIfy, fho survIvor nnd communIfy
cnn nIso nogofInfo nnd communIcnfo bound-
nrIos nnd IImIfs nround whnf roIos fhoy nro
wIIIIng fo Iny nnd onsuro fhnf ofhors or-
form fhoIr roIos In nccordnnco wIfh cIonr ox-
ocfnfIons nnd gonIs.
3. dehIiIyasimulIaheous plahIor saIeIyahd
supporI Ior Ihe survivor as well as oIhers ih
Ihe commuhiIy. Snfofy Is comIox nnd goos
fnr boyond kooIng your doors Iockod, wnIk-
Ing In woII-IIf nrons, nnd cnrryIng n wonon
or n coII hono. !omombor fhnf n snfofy
Inn roquIros us fo confInuo fhInkIng crIfI-
cnIIy nbouf how our nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss
wIII Imncf our hysIcnI nnd omofIonnI woII-
boIng.
5
ConsIdor quosfIons such ns: how wIII
fho nbusor roncf whon ho Is confronfod nbouf
hIs nbusIvo bohnvIor How cnn wo work fo-
gofhor fo do-mochnnIzo fho nggrossor`s sfrnf-
ogIos !omombor, ono doos nof hnvo confroI
ovor fho nggrossor`s vIoIonco, buf you do
hnvo confroI ovor how you cnn ronro nnd
rosond fo If.
VIoIonco cnn oscnInfo whon nn nggrossor Is
confronfod nbouf hor bohnvIor. Thronfs of ro-
vongo, suIcIdo, sfnIkIng, fhronfs fo dIscIoso
orsonnI InformnfIon or fhronfs fo cronfo
bnrrIors for you fo work, onf, sIoo, or sImIy
koo your IIfo rIvnfo mny occur. Tho nggros-
sor mny nIso uso InfImIdnfIon fo frIghfon fho
survIvor nnd ofhors. Thoy mny uso rIvIIogo
such ns cInss, rnco, ngo, or socIo-oIIfIcnI sfn-
fus fo hIndor your grou from orgnnIzIng.
WhIIo InnnIng your offonso, orgnnIzors musf
nIso ronro fo ImIomonf n dofonso In cnso
of nggrossor rofnIInfIon. If your sIfunfIon nI-
Iows you fo do so, orgnnIzors cnn nIso nIorf
ofhor mombors of fho communIfy nbouf your
Inn nnd ronro fhom for how fho nbusor
The Fevolulion Slarls al Hone
66
mny roncf.
OrgnnIzors musf nIso Inn for suorfIng fho
survIvor nnd fhomsoIvos. If Is onsy fo bocomo
so dIsfrncfod wIfh fho nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss
fhnf wo forgof fhnf somoono wns nssnuIfod
nnd noods our omofIonnI suorf. If Is IIkoIy
fhnf fhoro Is moro fhnn ono survIvor of soxunI
nssnuIf nnd/or domosfIc vIoIonco In nny ono
communIfy of ooIo. Ofhor survIvors wIfhIn
fho orgnnIzIng grou mny bo frIggorod dur-
Ing fho communIfy nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss.
OrgnnIzIng for nccounfnbIIIfy shouId nof bo
jusf nbouf fho busInoss of dovoIoIng n sfrnf-
ogy fo nddross fho nggrossor`s bohnvIor, buf
nIso nbouf cronfIng n IovIng snco for com-
munIfy buIIdIng nnd ronI cnro for ofhors.
OrgnnIzors shouId nIso fry fo bo soIf nwnro
nbouf fhoIr own frIggors nnd cronfo n Inn
for suorf for fhomsoIvos ns woII. Somo-
fImos If`s hoIfuI fo hnvo n sonrnfo grou
of frIonds fhnf cnn funcfIon ns n suorf sys-
fom for fho survIvor ns woII ns for fho orgn-
nIzors.
4. CareIully cohsider Ihe poIehIial cohse-
quehces oI your sIraIegy. Ioforo ncfIng on
nny Inn, nIwnys mnko suro fhnf your grou
hns frIod fo nnfIcInfo nII of fho ofonfInI
oufcomos of your sfrnfogy. HoIdIng somo-
ono nccounfnbIo for nbuso Is dIfhcuIf nnd fho
ofonfInI rosonsos from fho nbusor nro nu-
morous. Ior oxnmIo, If you chooso fo uso fho
modIn fo ubIIcIzo fho nggrossor`s bohnvIor,
you mIghf fhInk of fho consoquoncos of fho
snfofy nnd rIvncy of fho survIvor nnd fho or-
gnnIzors InvoIvod. Iuf you wIII nIso hnvo fo
consIdor fho chnncos of fho modIn sInnIng
fho sfory In n wny fhnf Is nof suorfIvo fo
your vnIuos, or fho ossIbIIIfy fhnf fho sfory
oufrngos nnofhor orson oufsIdo of your com-
munIfy so much fhnf ho docIdos fo rosond
by hysIcnIIy fhronfonIng fho nggrossor, or
fho chnnco fhnf fho modIn wIII gIvo fho ng-
grossor n forum fo jusfIfy fho nbusIvo bohnv-
Ior. ThIs nood fo whnf-If nn nccounfnbIIIfy
sfrnfogy Is nof monnf fo dIscourngo fho ro-
coss, buf fo mnko suro fhnf orgnnIzors nro
cnrofuI fo Inn for ossIbIo oufcomos. Your
hrsf Inn mny nood fo bo shIffod, modIhod,
nnd fwonkod ns you go. You mny hnd fhnf
you nro workIng fo hoId fhIs orson nccounf-
nbIo for n Iongor orIod of fImo fhnn you
oxocfod. Thoro mny bo n sIIf In your com-
munIfy bocnuso of fho sIIonco surroundIng
nbuso, osocInIIy soxunI nnd domosfIc vIo-
Ionco. You mny fooI fhnf you nro furfhor Iso-
InfIng fho survIvor nnd yoursoIvos from fho
communIfy. ThInk of fho ronIIsfIc oufcomos
of your rocoss fo hoId somoono nccounfnbIo
In your communIfy. Your rocoss mny nof bo
fuIIy succossfuI or If mny yIoId.
5. Orgahize . If Is nof ImossIbIo
fo orgnnIzo nn nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss by ono`s
soIf, buf If Is so much moro dIfhcuIf. A grou
of ooIo Is moro IIkoIy fo do n boffor job of
fhInkIng crIfIcnIIy nbouf sfrnfogIos bocnuso
fhoro nro moro orsocfIvos nnd oxorIoncos
nf work. OrgnnIzors nro Ioss IIkoIy fo burn
ouf quIckIy If moro fhnn ono or fwo ooIo
cnn shnro fho work ns woII ns omofIonnIIy
suorf ono nnofhor. If Is much hnrdor fo bo
fnrgofod by bnckInsh whon fhoro Is n grou
of ooIo ncfIng In soIIdnrIfy wIfh ono nn-
ofhor. A grou of ooIo cnn hoId onch ofhor
nccounfnbIo fo sfnyIng fruo fo fho grou`s
shnrod vnIuos. AIso, coIIocfIvo orgnnIzIng fn-
cIIIfnfos sfrong communIfy buIIdIng whIch
undormInos IsoInfIon nnd hoIs fo rovonf
fufuro soxunI vIoIonco.
6. Make sure everyohe ih Ihe accouhIabil-
iIy-seekihg group is oh Ihe same page wiIh
Iheir poliIical ahalysis oI sexual violehce.
SomofImos mombors of n communIfy orgn-
nIzIng for nccounfnbIIIfy nro nof workIng
wIfh fho snmo dohnIfIon of rno, fho snmo
undorsfnndIng of concofs IIko consonf or
crodIbIIIfy, or fho snmo nssumfIon fhnf
rno Is n mnnIfosfnfIon of orossIon. In ordor
for fho grou`s rocoss fo bo susfnInnbIo nnd
succossfuI, orgnnIzors musf hnvo n coIIocfIvo
Confronling Parlner Abuse in Aclivisl Connunilies
67
undorsfnndIng of whnf rno Is nnd how rno
funcfIons In our cuIfuro. Ior oxnmIo, whnf
If fho nggrossor nnd hIs suorfors rosond
fo fho orgnnIzors` cnII for nccounfnbIIIfy by
domnndIng fhnf fho survIvor rovo fhnf sho
wns Indood nssnuIfod or oIso fhoy wIII con-
sIdor hor n IInr, guIIfy of sInndor Iocnuso of
our IognI sfrucfuro fhnf Is bnsod on fho Idon
of Innoconf unfII rovon guIIfy, nnd rno
cuIfuro fhnf doubfs fho crodIbIIIfy of womon
In gonornI, If Is n common fncfIc fo Iny fho
burdon of roof on fho survIvor.
6
If fho grou
hnd n fomInIsf, oIIfIcIzod undorsfnndIng of
rno, fhoy mIghf bo nbIo fo nnfIcInfo fhIs
movo ns nrf of n Inrgor cuIfurnI honomo-
non of dIscrodIfIng womon whon fhoy nssorf
fhnf vIoIonco hns boon dono fo fhom.
ThIs rocoss ushos ooIo fo IdonfIfy rno
ns n oIIfIcnI Issuo nnd nrfIcuInfo n oIIfI-
cnI nnnIysIsof soxunI vIoIonco. A shnrod o-
IIfIcnI nnnIysIs of soxunI vIoIonco oons fho
door for ooIo fo mnko connocfIons of mo-
monfs of rno fo fho Inrgor cuIfuro In whIch
rno occurs. A conscIousnoss of rno cuIfuro
ronros us for fho nood fo orgnnIzo boyond
fho nccounfnbIIIfy of nn IndIvIdunI nggros-
sor. Wo nIso ronIIzo wo musf orgnnIzo for
nccounfnbIIIfy nnd frnnsformnfIon of InsfI-
fufIons fhnf orofunfo rno cuIfuro such ns
fho mIIIfnry, rIsons, nnd fho modIn.
!nsfIy, whon fho nggrossor Is n rogrossIvo
ncfIvIsf, n rIgorous nnnIysIs of rno cuIfuro
cnn bo connocfod fo fhnf IndIvIdunI`s own o-
IIfIcnI Inforosfs. A oIIfIcnI nnnIysIs of rno
cuIfuro cnn bocomo fho vohIcIo fhnf connocfs
fho nggrossor`s ncf of vIoIonco fo fho mnchI-
nnfIons of orossIon In gonornI nnd ovon fo
hIs own oIIfIcnI ngondn. ShnrIng fhIs nnnI-
ysIs mny nIso hoI gnIn suorf from fho
nggrossor`s ncfIvIsf communIfy whon fhoy
undorsfnnd fhoIr own oIIfIcnI work ns con-
nocfod fo fho nboIIfIon of rno cuIfuro nnd, of
courso, rno.
7. Be clear ahd speciIc abouI whaI your
group wahIs Irom Ihe aggressor ih Ierms
oI accouhIabiliIy. Whon your grou cnIIs for
nccounfnbIIIfy, If`s Imorfnnf fo mnko suro
fhnf nccounfnbIIIfy Is nof sImIy nn oIusIvo
concof fhnf foIks In fho grou nro uIfImnfo-
Iy uncIonr nbouf. oos nccounfnbIIIfy monn
counsoIIng for fho nggrossor An ndmIssIon
of guIIf A ubIIc or rIvnfo noIogy Or Is If
socIhc bohnvIor chnngos Horo nro somo ox-
nmIos: You cnn orgnnIzo In our communIfy,
buf you cnnnof bo nIono wIfh young ooIo.
You cnn como fo our nrfIos, buf you wIII
nof bo nIIowod fo drInk. You cnn nffond our
church, buf you musf chock In wIfh n socIhc
grou of ooIo ovory wook so fhnf fhoy cnn
doformIno your rogross In your roform.
oformInIng fho socIhc fhIng fhnf fho grou
Is domnndIng from fho nggrossor ushos fho
grou fo bo nccounfnbIo fo Ifs own rocoss.
If Is vory onsy fo sII Info n orofunI rngo
fhnf wnnfs fho nggrossor fo suffor In gon-
ornI, rnfhor fhnn bo groundod In n InnnIng
rocoss fhnf IdonfIhos socIhc sfos for fho
nggrossor fo fnko. And why nof Wo nro fnIk-
Ing nbouf rno, nffor nII, nnd rngo Is n or-
focfIy nnfurnI nnd good rosonso. Howovor,
fhough wo shouId mnko nn InfonfIonnI snco
fo honor rngo, If`s Imorfnnf for fho urosos
of nn nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss fo hnvo n vIsIon
for socIhc sfos fho nggrossor noods fo fnko
In ordor fo gIvo hor n chnnco for rodomfIon.
!omombor fho communIfy wo nro workIng fo
buIId Is nof ono whoro n orson Is forovor sfIg-
mnfIzod ns n monsfor no mnffor whnf sho
doos fo frnnsform, buf n communIfy whoro n
orson hns fho oorfunIfy fo rovIdo rosfo-
rnfIon for fho dnmngo sho hns dono.
8. LeI Ihe aggressor khow your ahalysis ahd
your demahds. ThIs guIdoIIno mny soom
obvIous, buf wo hnvo found fhnf fhIs sfo Is
offon forgoffon! Ior n numbor of ronsons, In-
cIudIng boIng dIsfrncfod by fho ofhor nrfs
of fho nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss, fho nggrossor
buIIdIng dIsfnnco bofwoon hImsoIf nnd fho
The Fevolulion Slarls al Hone
63
orgnnIzors, or fho dosIro for fho orgnnIzors
fo bo nnonymous for fonr of bnckInsh, wo
somofImos do nof mnko n Inn fo roIny fho
socIhc sfos for nccounfnbIIIfy fo fho ng-
grossor. IubIIcIy nssorfIng fhnf fho orson
rnod nnofhor, InsIsfIng fhnf ho musf bo nc-
counfnbIo for fho ncf, nnd convIncIng ofhors
In fho communIfy fo bo nIIIos fo your rocoss
mny nII bo Imorfnnf nsocfs of fho nccounf-
nbIIIfy Inn buf fhoy nro onIy fho bogIn-
nIng of nny Inn. IubIIc shnmIng mny bo n
fooI fhnf mnkos sonso for your grou, buf If
Is nof nn ond for nn nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss.
An nggrossor cnn bo shnmod, buf romnIn
unnccounfnbIo for hIs bohnvIor. OrgnnIzors
musf bo groundod In fho ofonfInI of fhoIr
own coIIocfIvo owor, conhdonf nbouf fhoIr
socIhc domnnds ns woII ns fho fncf fhnf fhoy
nro onfIfIod fo mnko domnnds, nnd fhon uso
fhoIr Inuonco fo comoI fho nggrossor fo
mnko foIIow fhrough wIfh fhoIr domnnds.
9. Cohsider help Irom Ihe aggressor's
Iriehds, Iamily, ahd people close Io her.
InmIIy nnd frIonds cnn bo IndIsonsnbIo
whon hgurIng ouf nn nccounfnbIIIfy Inn.
OrgnnIzors mny hosIfnfo fo ongngo fho ng-
grossor`s cIoso ooIo; nssumIng fhnf frIonds
nnd fnmIIy mny bo moro IIkoIy fo dofond fho
nggrossor ngnInsf roorfs fhnf ho hns dono
such n horrIbIo fhIng. ThIs Is n ronsonnbIo
nssumfIon If`s hnrd fo boIIovo fhnf n or-
son wo cnro nbouf Is cnnbIo of vIoIonfIy ox-
IoIfIng nnofhor buf If Is worfh fho fImo
fo soo If you hnvo nIIIos In fho nggrossor`s
cIoso communIfy. Thoy hnvo moro crodIbII-
Ify wIfh fho nggrossor, If Is hnrdor for hor
fo rofuso nccounfnbIIIfy If sho Is rocoIvIng
fho domnnd for nccounfnbIIIfy from ooIo
sho cnros nbouf, If sfrongfhons your grou`s
unIfod fronf, nnd, mnybo mosf InforosfIngIy,
If mny comoI fho nggrossor`s communIfy fo
crIfIcnIIy roocf on fhoIr own vnIuos nnd cuI-
furnI norms fhnf mny bo suorfIng ooIo
fo vIoInfo ofhors. Ior oxnmIo, fhIs mny bo
n communIfy of ooIo fhnf doos nof foIornfo
rno, buf onjoys mIsogynIsf humor or musIc
or doosn`f suorf womon In IondorshI. In-
gngIng frIonds nnd fnmIIy In fho nccounfnbII-
Ify rocoss mny oncourngo fhom fo consIdor
fhoIr own roIos In susfnInIng rno cuIfuro.
AIso, fho nrfIcInfIon of fho nggrossor`s cIoso
ooIo onsuros Iong-form foIIow fhrough wIfh
fho nccounfnbIIIfy Inn. IrIonds cnn chock
In wIfh hIm fo mnko suro ho Is nffondIng
counsoIIng, for oxnmIo. AIso, fho nggrossor
mny nood hIs own suorf sysfom. Whnf If
fho InforvonfIon cnusos fho nggrossor fo fnII
Info n doo suIcIdnI dorossIon Tho orgnnIz-
ors mny nof hnvo fho dosIro or fho nfIonco
fo suorf fho nggrossor, nor shouId fhoy
nood fo. Howovor, fho nggrossor`s fnmIIy nnd
frIonds cnn Iny nn Imorfnnf roIo of su-
orfIng fho nggrossor fo fnko fho nocossnry
sfos of nccounfnbIIIfy In n wny fhnf Is sus-
fnInnbIo for ovoryono.
10. Prepare Io be ehgaged ih Ihe process Ior
Ihe lohg haul. AccounfnbIIIfy Is n rocoss,
nof n dosfInnfIon, nnd If wIII robnbIy fnko
somo fImo. Tho ronsons why ooIo rno nro
comIIcnfod nnd If fnkos fImo fo shIff fho
bohnvIor. Iurfhormoro, communIfy mom-
bors who wnnf fo rofocf fho nggrossor mny
sIow down or frusfrnfo orgnnIzIng offorfs.
Ivon nffor fho nggrossor fnkos fho nocossnry
sfos fhnf your grou hns IdonfIhod for hIm
fo bo nccounfnbIo, If Is Imorfnnf fo nrrnngo
for Iong form foIIow fhrough fo docronso fho
chnncos of fufuro roInso. In fho monnfImo,
If`s Imorfnnf for fho orgnnIzors fo Infogrnfo
sfrnfogIos Info fhoIr work fhnf mnko fho ro-
coss moro susfnInnbIo for fhom. Ior oxnmIo,
whon wns fho Insf fImo fho grou hung ouf
fogofhor nnd dIdn`f fnIk nbouf fho nggros-
sor, rno, or rno cuIfuro, buf jusf hnd fun
Wonvo coIobrnfIon nnd fun Info your commu-
nIfy, If Is nIso n roocfIon of fho worId wo
wnnf fo buIId.
AIso, fho chnngo fhnf fho orgnnIzIng grou
Is mnkIng Is nof jusf fho frnnsformnfIon of
fho nrfIcuInr nggrossor, buf nIso fho frnns-
Confronling Parlner Abuse in Aclivisl Connunilies
69
fIons In fho orgnnIzIng snco nbouf fho sIzo
of womon`s gonIfnIs ns If roInfos fo fhoIr ofh-
nIcIfy. Tho young womon nIso nssorfod fhnf
InsfIfufIonnI soxIsm wIfhIn fho snco wns n
sorIous robIom nf Youfh Imoworod. Young
womon hnd fowor IondorshI oorfunIfIos
nnd fhoIr Idons woro dIsmIssod.
OrgnnIzors nf CA!A mof wIfh nn In nn offorf
fo shnro wIfh hIm our concorns nnd bogIn nn
nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss, buf ho wns rosIsfnnf.
Womon of coIor who woro nn`s frIonds, who
dId nof wnnf fo boIIovo fhnf nn wns cnnbIo
of fhIs bohnvIor, choso fo rofocf nn from
boIng confronfod. Insfond, sovornI young
womon woro surrIsod by nn unschoduIod
moofIng wIfhIn Youfh Imoworod, fncIIIfnf-
od by nn oIdor womnn of coIor, whoro fhoy
woro buIIIod Info squnshIng fhoIr concorns
nbouf nn. Thoy woro nccusod of srond-
Ing IIos nnd foId fhnf fhoy shouId bo grnfo-
fuI for fho orgnnIzIng oorfunIfIos nffordod
fo fhom by nn. In ono of fhoso moofIngs, n
young womnn wns shown n Ioffor from fho
oIIco donrfmonf fhnf crIfIcIzod nn nbouf
orgnnIzIng n rnIIy In nn nffomf fo mnko hor
crIfIquo of nn`s bohnvIor soom dIvIsIvo fo
fho movomonf ngnInsf oIIco brufnIIfy. Affor
fhoso moofIngs, onch young womnn foIf com-
IofoIy domornIIzod nnd sovorod nII fIos wIfh
Youfh Imoworod.
IInck ncfIvIsfs hnvo sfruggIod wIfh fho fon-
sIon of nfrInrchy wIfhIn our socInI jusfIco
movomonfs sInco fho movomonf fo nboIIsh
sInvory. Womon who IdonfIfy fho robIom
nnd fry fo orgnnIzo ngnInsf soxIsm nnd sox-
unI vIoIonco wIfhIn our movomonfs nro offon
InboIod ns dIvIsIvo, nnd ovon ns III Infor-
mnnfs. ThoIr work Is dIscrodIfod nnd fhoy
nro offon frnumnfIzod from fho oxorIonco.
As n rosuIf, fhoy offon do nof wnnf fo ongngo
In nn nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss, osocInIIy whon
fhoy nro nof goffIng suorf from ooIo
fhoy fhoughf woro fhoIr comrndos, IncIudIng
ofhor womon of coIor.
formnfIon of our cuIfuro. If fho nggrossor`s
frIonds nnd fnmIIy dIsnrngo fho grou, If
doosn`f monn fhnf fho grou Is doIng nny-
fhIng wrong, If`s jusf n mnnIfosfnfIon of fho
Inrgor robIom of rno cuIfuro. Ivory grou
of ooIo fhnf Is workIng fo buIId n commu-
nIfy nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss musf undorsfnnd
fhnf fhoy nro nof workIng In IsoInfIon, buf
In fho comnny of nn on-going vnsf nnd rIch
gIobnI movomonf for IIbornfIon.
Thoso rIncIIos nro moroIy bonos fo bo
usod ns n frnmowork for n comIox, fhroo-
dImonsIonnI nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss. Inch
communIfy Is rosonsIbIo for nddIng Ifs own
dIsfIncfIvo fonfuros fo mnko fho body of fho
nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss Ifs own. Whnf foI-
Iows Is n doscrIfIon of fhroo vory dIfforonf
sconnrIos of communIfy grous sfruggIIng
wIfh soxunI vIoIonco nnd mnIng ouf nn nc-
counfnbIIIfy Inn. Thoso sconnrIos occurrod
boforo fho foIks nf CA!A crnffod fho IIsf of
rIncIIos nbovo, buf woro Imorfnnf oxo-
rIoncos fhnf gnvo us fho fooIs wo noodod fo
IdonfIfy Imorfnnf comononfs of nccounf-
nbIIIfy work.
AccountabiIity Scenarios
Scehario Ohe: nn Is n IInck mnn In nn ur-
bnn nron who Is ncfIvo In fho movomonf fo
ond rncInI rohIIng nnd oIIco brufnIIfy.
?
Ho
Is nIso works wIfh young ooIo fo orgnnIzo
ngnInsf InsfIfufIonnI rncIsm nf nn orgnnI-
znfIon cnIIod Youfh Imoworod. Ho Is woII
known by rogrossIvos nnd ooIo of coIor In
fho nron nnd ouInr In fho communIfy. Ovor
fho courso of fhroo yonrs, four young IInck
womon (ngos 2l nnd youngor) who woro bo-
Ing monforod by nn nronchod CA!A sfnff
wIfh concorns nbouf on-goIng soxunI hnrnss-
monf wIfhIn fhoIr ncfIvIsf communIfy. Soxu-
nI hnrnssmonf fncfIcs roorfod by fho young
womon IncIudod nn brIngIng young ooIo
fhnf ho monforod fo sfrI cIubs, nronchIng
InfoxIcnfod young womon who ho monforod
fo hnvo sox wIfh fhom, nnd hnvIng convorsn-
The Fevolulion Slarls al Hone
70
Ovor fho hrsf fwo yonrs, CA!A mndo sov-
ornI nffomfs fo hoId nn nccounfnbIo nnd
onch offorf wns n sfruggIo. An nffomf fo
connocf wIfh womon of coIor who orgnnIzod
wIfh hIm onIy sfrnInod fho roInfIonshI bo-
fwoon our orgnnIznfIons. Wo nIso ronIIzod
fhnf our sfnff mombors woro nof on fho snmo
ngo wIfh onch ofhor nbouf how fo suorf
young womon who woro nggrnvnfod wIfh ono
orgnnIznfIon dIscussIng fho robIom nf our
orgnnIznfIon. How dId fhnf Imncf our nbII-
Ify fo buIId sfrnfogIc conIIfIons wIfh Youfh
Imoworod How woro wo goIng fo suorf
fho young womon fo foII fhoIr frufh wIfhouf
fho sfory doscondIng Info n fooIIng of hoo-
Iossnoss Wns fhIs n robIom nbouf nn or
wns fhIs n robIom wIfh fho orgnnIznfIonnI
cuIfuro wIfhIn Youfh Imoworod
Wo ronIIzod fhnf If wns nof onough fo rocog-
nIzo nn`s bohnvIor ns robIomnfIc nnd fry fo
nonI fo fho conscIonco of fho ooIo nround
hIm. Wo noodod n fhoughffuI Inn suorf-
od by ovoryono In our orgnnIznfIon nnd wo
noodod fo IdonfIfy foIks wIfhIn CA!A who
wouId fnko fho nocossnry IondorshI fo mn
ouf fho Inn for nII of us. Wo docIdod fhnf
fho womon of coIor wouId moof sonrnfoIy
from fho gonornI CA!A momborshI fo do-
voIo nn nnnIysIs nnd sfrnfogy nnd fho rosf
of CA!A wouId foIIow fhoIr Iond. Tho womon
of coIor docIdod fhnf our sfruggIo wIfh nn
nnd hIs bohnvIor hnd nIso bocomo nn orgn-
nIznfIonnI Issuo for CA!A If wns nof soIoIy
n communIfy Issuo nnd wo IdonfIhod If ns
such. Wo nnmod nn ns n orson who hnd
ongoIng chronIc Issuos wIfh soxunI hnrnss-
monf. SurrIsIngIy, fhIs InfonfIonnI dohnIng
of fho robIom hnd nof yof hnonod nmong
our sfnff. Wo fnIkod nbouf hIs bohnvIor ns
robIomnfIc, unnccounfnbIo, mnnIuInfIvo,
buf wo hnd nof coIIocfIvoIy nnd socIhcnIIy
nnmod If ns n form of soxunIIzod vIoIonco.
ImorfnnfIy, wo docIdod fhnf our nnnIysIs of
hIs bohnvIor wns nof socrof InformnfIon. If
ooIo In fho communIfy nskod us our oIn-
Ion nbouf nn or dIscIosod fhnf fhoy woro bo-
Ing soxunIIy hnrnssod nf Youfh Imoworod,
wo docIdod fhnf our nnnIysIs wouId nof bo
conhdonfInI buf wouId bo shnrod In fho sIrIf
of shnrIng InformnfIon nbouf dosfrucfIvo bo-
hnvIor. In fho nsf wo sfruggIod wIfh whofh-
or or nof shnrIng fhIs InformnfIon wouId
bo usoIoss or counforroducfIvo gossI. Wo
know fho rIsk of foIIIng ofhors fhnf n woII-
known IInck mnn who orgnnIzod ngnInsf o-
IIco vIoIonco wns rosonsIbIo for soxunIIzod
vIoIonco. Iuf wo docIdod fhnf If wns snfor for
our communIfy for us fo nof nIIow oursoIvos
fo bo sIIoncod. If wns nIso snfor for nn If
wo suorfod our communIfy fo movo nIong
In Ifs rocoss of sfruggIIng wIfh hIs bohnvIor
nnd ovonfunIIy domnndIng nccounfnbIIIfy.
If our communIfy dIdn`f hoId hIm nccounf-
nbIo nnd comoI hIm fo roform hIs bohnvIor,
wo worrIod fhnf ho wouId sfo ovor fho IIno
wIfh n womnn who wouId nof hosIfnfo fo ro-
orf hIm fo fho oIIco, whIch wouId gIvo fho
oIIco fho nmmunIfIon fhoy noodod fo com-
IofoIy dIscrodIf nn, ns woII ns our movo-
monf ngnInsf oIIco vIoIonco. Thoroforo, wo
mndo n docIsIon fo foII ooIo fho Informn-
fIon If fhoy cnmo fo us wIfh concorns.
Wo docIdod fhnf Insfond of moofIng wIfh nII
fho womon of coIor In nn`s rnnks, wo wouId
chooso ono IInck womnn from CA!A fo InvIfo
ono IInck womnn from Youfh Imoworod fo
hnvo n soIId, Iow-drnmn, convorsnfIon. Wo
nIso nskod nnofhor IInck womnn fnmIIInr
nnd frIondIy wIfh bofh grous nnd sfrong In
hor nnnIysIs of soxunI vIoIonco wIfhIn IInck
communIfIos fo fncIIIfnfo fho convorsnfIon.
Tho womnn from Youfh Imoworod hnd
osIfIvo oxorIoncos orgnnIzIng wIfh CA!A
In fho nsf nnd, fhough our onrIIor convorsn-
fIons nbouf nn woro frnughf wIfh fonsIon
nnd dofonsIvonoss on nII our nrfs, sho wns
wIIIIng fo connocf wIfh us. Tho nrfIcInfIon
of fho fhIrd womnn ns n frIondIy fncIIIfnfor
nIso hoIod us fo bo moro roInxod In our con-
vorsnfIon.
Confronling Parlner Abuse in Aclivisl Connunilies
71
Tho hrsf moofIngs wIfh fhoso womon wonf
vory woII. Tho CA!A rorosonfnfIvo wns
cIonr fhnf hor orgnnIznfIon`s nnnIysIs wns
fhnf nn hnd n sorIous robIom wIfh sox-
unI hnrnssmonf, nnd wo woro socIhcnIIy
concornod nbouf fho fncf fhnf ho wns work-
Ing wIfh young ooIo. Wo woro socIhcnIIy
concornod nbouf nn`s ongngomonf wIfh
young ooIo bocnuso of fho owor nn hnd
In choosIng whIch young orson wouId gof
InfornshIs, go fo ouf of fown conforoncos,
or rocoIvo IondorshI oorfunIfIos. nn`s
frIond rocoIvod fho InformnfIon wIfh vory
IIffIo dofonsIvonoss nnd wns ongor fo hnvo
moro convorsnfIons nbouf nn`s bohnvIor.
ThIs ono-on-ono sfrnfogy soomod fo roInx
fho fonsIon bofwoon fho fwo rogrossIvo or-
gnnIznfIons; Insfond wo bocnmo fhroo sIsfns
InfonfIonnIIy unnckIng fho robIom of mI-
sogyny In our communIfy.
Tho oufcomo of fhoso moofIngs wns fho honI-
Ing of fho sfrnfogIc roInfIonshI bofwoon
our orgnnIznfIons, whIch wns Imorfnnf for
movomonf buIIdIng, buf wo sfIII hnd nof
movod fo n Inco whoro wo couId hoId nn
nccounfnbIo. Wo sfruggIod wIfh fho socIhc
fhIng wo wnnfod fo soo hnon. Tho womon
whom ho`d soxunIIy hnrnssod woro nof nsk-
Ing for nnyfhIng In nrfIcuInr; fhoy undor-
sfnndnbIy jusf wnnfod fo bo Ioff nIono. Wo
docIdod fhnf wo dId nof wnnf hIm ojocfod
from fho ncfIvIsf communIfy, buf fhnf If wns
nof snfo for hIm fo monfor young ooIo.
If wns nf fhIs fImo fhnf n young l? yonr oId
IInck womnn, KoIshn, connocfod wIfh us
fhrough !nshnd, n young l? yonr oId IInck
mnn who wns orgnnIzIng bofh wIfh CA!A
nnd wIfh Youfh Imoworod. (!nshnd wns
roforrod fo CA!A fhrough nn`s orgnnIzn-
fIon bocnuso fho rIff bofwoon fho fwo grous
hnd sIgnIhcnnfIy honIod. If wo hnd nof nc-
comIIshod fhIs, KoIshn mny nof hnvo found
CA!A.) KoIshn wns nn Inforn nf Youfh Im-
oworod nnd hnd wrIffon n four-ngo Iof-
for of rosIgnnfIon fhnf dofnIIod nn`s soxIsf
bohnvIor. Tho womon nf CA!A IIsfonod fo
KoIshn`s sfory, rond hor Ioffor, nnd docIdod
fo shnro wIfh hor our coIIocfIvo nnnIysIs of
nn`s bohnvIor. Iocnuso nn Is so dooIy
suorfod nf Youfh Imoworod, CA!A`s
rosonso hoIod hor fooI nfhrmod nnd vnII-
dnfod. CA!A`s orgnnIzors hoIod KoIshn
sfrnfogIzo nbouf shnrIng fho Ioffor nf Youfh
Imoworod by nskIng hor whnf sho wnnfod
fo nchIovo, how sho wnnfod fo bo suorfod,
nndwhnf sho wnnfod hor noxf sfos fo bo nf-
for fho moofIng.
KoIshn rond hor Ioffor nIoud fo Youfh Im-
oworod mombors fhnf nIghf, wIfh !nshnd
ncfIng ns hor nIIy. Sho rocoIvod somo suorf
from somo womon In fho communIfy, buf sho
wns nIso foId fhnf hor Ioffor wns vory hIgh
schooI nnd Immnfuro by n IInck womnn
wIfhIn fho orgnnIznfIon who wns nIso n mon-
for. nn uIIod !nshnd nsIdo nffor KoIshn
rond hor Ioffor nnd foId hIm fhnf ho wns
mnkIng n mIsfnko by orgnnIzIng wIfh CA!A
bocnuso fhoso womon hnfo IInck mon. If
wns n vory nInfuI ovonf, nnd yof bofh KoI-
shn nnd !nshnd foIf osIfIvo nbouf fho fncf
fhnf fhoy foIIowod fhrough wIfh fhoIr Inn
nnd ubIIcIy rovonIod fho snmo robIoms
fhnf ofhor young IInck womon boforo KoIshn
hnd nnmod buf rIvnfoIy sfruggIod wIfh.
Tho IInck womnn from Youfh Imoworod
who hnd boon ongngIng wIfh CA!A wns
sfunnod by KoIshn`s Ioffor, nnd quIckIy orgn-
nIzod n moofIng wIfh nn, KoIshn, !nshnd,
hor CA!A confncf, nnd ofhor Youfh Imow-
orod orgnnIzors, nIong wIfh fho snmo IInck
womnn ns n fncIIIfnfor. KoIshn nnd CA!A
orgnnIzors ronrod for fncfIcs fhnf nn nnd
hIs suorfors wouId uso fo dIscrodIf KoI-
shn. Though onch orgnnIzor ndmIffod fhnf
fhoro wns n robIom wIfh InsfIfufIonnI sox-
Ism wIfhIn Youfh Imoworod, fhoy boIIffIod
fho conIcf ns If If woro n mIsundorsfnnd-
Ing bofwoon KoIshn nnd nn. Thoy snId sho
wns ncfIng whIfo for uffIng hor fhoughfs
on nor nnd for wnnfIng fo rosIgn hor In-
The Fevolulion Slarls al Hone
72
fornshI. KoIshn, boIng fho youngosf orson
nf fho moofIng, wns mosfIy InfImIdnfod nnd
sIIoncod by fhoso hurffuI fncfIcs. Tho CA!A
orgnnIzor who wns fhoro, howovor, cnrofuIIy
chnIIongod onch nffomf fo dIscrodIf KoIshn.
Wo confInuod fo suorf KoIshn durIng nnd
nffor fhIs moofIng.
KoIshn`s Ioffor, howovor, hnd n sfrong rIIo
offocf fhnf confInuod fo Imncf Youfh Im-
oworod. Tho Youfh Imoworod orgnnIzor
who hnd boon fnIkIng wIfh CA!A wns movod
by KoIshn`s Ioffor, nnd commIffod fo hgurIng
ouf nn nccounfnbIIIfy Inn for nn fhnf mndo
sonso for hor orgnnIznfIon. Sho bognn fo or-
gnnIzo dIscussIons fo cInrIfy fho Issuos fhnf
IncIudod orgnnIzors from CA!A, nn, nnd
orgnnIzors from Youfh Imoworod. Thoso
convorsnfIons woro vory dIfforonf fhnn whon
wo hnd sfnrfod. Wo no Iongor hnd fo convInco
foIks fhnf InsfIfufIonnI soxIsm oxIsfod In fho
orgnnIznfIon, or fhnf nn`s bohnvIor wns n
form of soxunIIzod vIoIonco. nn ovonfunIIy
rosIgnod from hIs monforshI osIfIon nf fho
orgnnIznfIon, buf wo don`f know If fhIs wns
bocnuso of fho rossuro cronfod by KoIshn`s
Ioffor nnd CA!A`s sfrongor connocfIons wIfh
womon of coIor nf Youfh Imoworod,. WIfh
hIs nbsonco, fho now IondorshI nf Youfh
Imoworod bognn fo moro conhdonfIy nd-
dross fho InsfIfufIonnI soxIsm Issuos wIfhIn
fho orgnnIznfIon.
AIfhough wo fhInk fhnf fhIs work hns cronfod
n snfor onvIronmonf nf Youfh Imoworod,
nn sfIII hns nof boon nccounfnbIo for hIs bo-
hnvIor. Thnf Is fo sny, ho hns nof ndmIffod
fhnf whnf ho dId wns wrong or fnkon sfos
fo roconcIIo wIfh fho ooIo who ho fnrgofod
nf Youfh Imoworod. Howovor, nf fho fImo
of wrIfIng, wo oxocf fhnf ho`II confInuo fo go
fo fhoso moofIngs whoro fhoso convorsnfIons
nbouf soxunI vIoIonco (IncIudIng hIs own)
wIII bo dIscussod In fho confoxf of buIIdIng n
IIbornfIon movomonf for nII IInck ooIo.
Workihg The Prihciples: In fho nbovo sco-
nnrIo, CA!A orgnnIzors ufIIIzod mnny of
fho communIfy nccounfnbIIIfy rIncIIos dIs-
cussod nbovo. Wo woro suro fo rosocf fho
nufonomy of fho young womon. Thoy noodod
dIsfnnco from fho sIfunfIon, so wo dId nof
rossuro fhom fo nrfIcInfo In fho offon-
gruoIIng rocoss. Howovor, wo dId roguInrIy
udnfo fhom on our rogross, kooIng fho
door oon If fhoy chnngod fhoIr mInds nbouf
whnf fhoy wnnfod fhoIr roIo fo bo. In fho
monnfImo, wo sof u suorf sysfoms for
fhom, mnkIng suro wo mndo snco for IInck
womon fo jusf roInx nnd fnIk nbouf our IIvos
Insfond of sondIng nII of our fImo rocossIng
nn.
Iocnuso fho Issuo wns comIIcnfod, wo
Innnod fogofhor ns n grou, runnIng sfrnfo-
gIos by ono nnofhor so fhnf mnny orsocfIvos
nnd Idons couId hoI Imrovo our work. Wo
nIso Ionrnod from our mIsfnkos nnd Ionrnod
fo consIdor moro cnrofuIIy fho consoquoncos
of sfrnfogIos such ns cnIIIng n bIg moofIng
rnfhor fhnn sfrnfogIcnIIy workIng wIfh IndI-
vIdunIs. AIso workIng wIfh fho IInck womnn
from Youfh Imoworod, n frIond nnd com-
rndo of nn`s, wns ronIIy crIfIcnI In brIng-
Ing nn cIosor fo fho ossIbIIIfy of nccounf-
nbIIIfy. Hor nrfIcInfIon broughf Imorfnnf
crodIbIIIfy fo fho quosfIons wo woro nskIng.
Howovor, fho mosf Imorfnnf rIncIIo fhnf
wo oxorcIsod In fhIs rocoss wns fnkIng n
sfo bnck nnd mnkIng suro wo woro nII on
fho snmo ngo wIfh our nnnIysIs of whnf
wo woro donIIng wIfh. Our frusfrnfIon wIfh
nn wns n IIffIo sIoy nf hrsf wo woron`f
suro whnf fho robIom wns. Ior oxnmIo,
fhoro wns n quosfIon nbouf whofhor or nof
ho rnod somoono, buf wo hnd nof sokon
fo fhIs orson dIrocfIy nnd, fhoroforo, hnd
no ronI ronson fo fhInk fhIs wns fruo ofhor
fhnn fho fncf fhnf ho wns oxhIbIfIng ofhor
robIomnfIc bohnvIor. Wo hnd fo docIdo fhnf
fho bohnvIor fhnf wo woro suro nbouf wns
onough for whIch fo domnnd nccounfnbIIIfy.
Tho owor of nnmIng fho robIom cnnnof bo
Confronling Parlner Abuse in Aclivisl Connunilies
73
undorosfImnfod In fhIs nrfIcuInr sconnrIo.
Iocnuso fho bohnvIor wns nof InfonsoIy vIo-
Ionf, such ns soxunI nssnuIf, wo woro sonrch-
Ing for fho rIghf fo nnmo If ns soxunIIzod vIo-
Ionco. SoxunI hnrnssmonf offon rosonfs fhIs
robIom. Thoro Is no nssnuIf, buf fhoro nro
oIusIvo nnd dosfrucfIvo forms of vIoIonco nf
Iny IncIudIng owor mnnIuInfIon, vorbnI
mIsogynIsf romnrks, nnd fho humIIInfIon of
young ooIo. Onco wo ronchod consonsus In
our nnnIysIs, wo woro ronrod fo rocoIvo fho
oorfunIfy fhnf KoIshn`s Ioffor nnd work of-
forod nnd uso If fo ush fho nccounfnbIIIfy
rocoss furfhor nIong.
Scehario Two: KovIn Is n mombor of fho nI-
fornnfIvo unk musIc communIfy In nn ur-
bnn nron. HIs communIfy Is rodomInnnfIy
young, whIfo, muIfI-gondorod, nnd IncIudos n
sIgnIhcnnf numbor of quoor foIks. KovIn nnd
hIs cIoso-knIf communIfy, whIch IncIudos
hIs bnnd nnd fhoIr frIonds, woro foId by fwo
womon fhnf fhoy hnd boon soxunIIy nssnuIf-
od nf roconf nrfIos. Tho nggrossor, !ou, wns
ncfIvo nnd woII-known In fho musIc commu-
nIfy, nnd ho wns omIoyod nf n ouInr cIub.
!ou oncourngod fho womon fo gof drunk nnd
fhon forcod fhom fo hnvo sox ngnInsf fhoIr
wIII. Ono of fho survIvors nnd hor frIonds
dId n brIof InforvonfIon wIfh !ou, confronf-
Ing hIm In orson wIfh fho InformnfIon. Sho
roorfs fhnf nf hrsf ho wns humbIod nnd
noIogofIc, buf, nffor IonvIng fhom, rovorsod
hIs bohnvIor nnd bognn fo jusfIfy hIs ncfIons
ngnIn. Irusfrnfod wIfh !ou`s Inck of nccounf-
nbIIIfy nnd wIfh soxunI vIoIonco In fho musIc
communIfy In gonornI, KovIn`s grou bognn
fo moof nnd dIscuss fho sIfunfIon. Thoy nof
onIy roocfod on fho survIvors` oxorIoncos,
buf nIso how fho IocnI cuIfuro suorfod bnd
bohnvIor. Ior oxnmIo, fhoy dIscussod how
n IocnI wookIy nowsnor, ouInr In fho
nIfornnfIvo musIc communIfy, gInmorIzod
fho mnssIvo nmounf of drInkIng fhnf wns
nIwnys rovnIonf nf !ou`s nrfIos. KovIn`s
grou docIdod fhnf fhoro wns n ronI Inck of
conscIousnoss nbouf fho Issuo of soxunI vIo-
Ionco nnd fho communIfy noodod fo bo wo-
kon u. To fhnf ond, fhoy dosIgnod Iors fhnf
nnnouncod !ou`s bohnvIor nnd hIs IdonfIfy,
nssorfod fho nood for !ou`s nccounfnbIIIfy ns
dIrocfod by fho survIvors, IncIudod n crIfIquo
of fho nowsnor, nnd suggosfod boycoffIng
!ou`s cIub. WIfh fho survIvors` consonf, fho
grou fhon nssod fho Iors ouf nf Incos
whoro mombors of fhoIr communIfy usunIIy
congrognfod.
A couIo of wooks Infor, fho nowsnor ub-
IIshod nn nrfIcIo dofondIng !ou by ImIyIng
fhnf, sInco fho womon fhnf ho nIIogodIy ns-
snuIfod hnd nof rossod crImInnI chnrgos,
fho nIIognfIons couId nof bo fhnf crodIbIo.
KovIn`s grou ronIIzod fhnf fhoy noodod fo
do n Iof of ro-oducnfIon nbouf soxunI vIoIonco
wIfhIn fho musIc communIfy. Af fho snmo
fImo, fhoy woro boIng rossurod by !ou wIfh
fhronfs fo suo for IIboI. Tho grou hnd nof
Innnod for fhIs ossIbIo oufcomo, buf In-
sfond of bnckIng off, fhoy ro-grouod nnd
usod nnonymous o-mnII nnd fho Infornof fo
rofocf fhoIr IdonfIfIos.
8
Thoy rocoodod fo wrIfo n oworfuI docu-
monf fhnf shnrod fho survIvors` oxorIoncos
(wrIffon by fho survIvors), dohnod soxunI vI-
oIonco, nnd nddrossod Issuos of consonf nnd
vIcfIm-bInmIng. !sIng n mIxfuro of sfnfIsfIcs
nnd nnnIysIs, fhoy chnIIongod fho crImInnI
IognI sysfom ns nn offocfIvo sourco for jus-
fIco, fhoroby undormInIng fho nowsnor`s
nbsurd nssorfIon fhnf soxunI vIoIonco cnn
onIy bo fnkon sorIousIy If fho survIvor ro-
orfs If fo fho oIIco. Mosf ImorfnnfIy, fho
grou cIonrIy nrfIcuInfod whnf fhoy monnf
by communIfy nccounfnbIIIfy. WIfh ormIs-
sIon, wo hnvo rorInfod fhoIr dohnIfIon of nc-
counfnbIIIfy boIow:
We expec/ /lo/ /le eexuol perpe/ro/or Ie lelJ
occoun/oIle for /leir oc/ione onJ preten/eJ
fron elif/ing Ilone on/o /le eurtitor. We
expec/ /lo/ /le perpe/ro/or oun /leir oeeoul-
/ite Ielotior onJ unJere/onJ /le full roni-
[co/ione /leir oc/ione lote onJ uill con/inue
The Fevolulion Slarls al Hone
74
/o lote on /le eurtitor onJ /le connuni/,.
Tle perpe/ro/or nue/ illue/ro/e /leir conpli-
once I, no/ing o puIlic opolog, onJ, ui/l
/le lelp of /leir peere, eee/ couneeling fron
o eexuol oeeoul/ epeciolie/. 1/ ie equoll, in-
por/on/ /lo/ /le, inforn fu/ure por/nere onJ
frienJe /lo/ /le, lote o proIlen onJ oe/ for
/leir euppor/ in /le leoling proceee. 1f /le
perpe/ro/or notee /o o neu connuni/,, /le,
nue/ con/inue /o conpl, ui/l /le connuni/,
guiJelinee ee/ for/l oIote. We Ieliete /lo/ I,
uor/ing ui/l /le perpe/ro/or in /le leoling
proceee, ue con /rul, eucceeJ in no/ing our
connuni/, eofer.
9
Thoy roIonsod fhoIr fuII sfnfomonf fo fho
ross nnd nIso osfod If fo n wobsIfo. Tho
sfnfomonf hnd nn Imorfnnf Imncf. A ro-
orfor from fho ouInr wookIy nowsnor
confncfod fhom nnd ndmIffod fhnf fho sfnfo-
monf comoIIod hor fo rofhInk somo of hor
Idons nbouf soxunI vIoIonco. If nIso kIndIod n
convorsnfIon In fho Inrgor musIc communIfy
nbouf soxunI vIoIonco nnd nccounfnbIIIfy.
Ofhor fhnn mnkIng fhronfs of n InwsuIf fo
fho grou, !ou mosfIy Ignorod fho grou un-
fII fho boycoff of fho cIub whoro ho workod
sfnrfod fo gnIn sfonm. Soon, bnnds from ouf
of fown nIso bognn fo nvoId InyIng nf fho
cIub. ThIs rossuro comoIIod !ou fo ongngo
In n sorIos of o-mnII dIscussIons wIfh KovIn
wIfh fho gonI of nogofInfIng n fnco-fo-fnco
moofIng. IngngIng fhrough omnII wns n dIf-
hcuIf nnd frusfrnfIng rocoss. !ou wns con-
sIsfonfIy dofonsIvo nnd wnnfod modInfIon.
KovIn wns cIonr nbouf hIs grou`s nnnIysIs
nnd gonIs nnd wnnfod nccounfnbIIIfy. Ivon-
funIIy, fhoy gnvo u on soffIng n moofIng bo-
cnuso fhoy couIdn`f ngroo on forms.
Throughouf fhIs rocoss, KovIn`s grou oxo-
rIoncod n gronf donI of oxhnusfIon nnd frus-
frnfIon. urIng fho orIodIc moofIngs fhnf
CA!A sfnff hnd wIfh KovIn for suorf nnd
ndvIco, ho offon oxrossod fooIIng ronIIy fIrod
of fho rojocf of ongngIng wIfh !ou nf nII.
SIowIy, KovIn nnd hIs grou swIfchod fncfIcs
nnd focusod moro on communIfy buIIdIng,
oducnfIon, nnd rovonfIon. If`s n crIfIcnI shIff
fo docIdo fo uso your rosourcos fo buIId fho
communIfy you wnnf rnfhor fhnn oxond nII
of your rosourcos by hghfIng fho robIom you
wnnf fo oIImInnfo. Thoy bognn n rocoss of
IonrnIng moro nbouf soxunI vIoIonco, snfofy,
nnd nccounfnbIIIfy. Thoy hosfod bonohfs for
CA!A nnd ofhor nnfI-vIoIonco orgnnIznfIons.
Thoy ronrod fhomsoIvos fo fncIIIfnfo fhoIr
own snfofy nnd nccounfnbIIIfy workshos.
Thoy dId nII of fhIs wIfh fho fnIfh fhnf fhoy
couId frnnsform fhoIr musIc communIfy fo
ronch n sof of vnIuos fhnf woro consIsfonf
wIfh boIng fun, soxy, nnd IIbornfory nnd ox-
IIcIfIy nnfI-rno nnd nnfI-orossIon.
Workihg Ihe Prihciples: SImIInrIy fo fho hrsf
sconnrIo, fhIs communIfy ongngod In somo
frInI nnd orror nnd Ionrnod n Iof nbouf dIf-
foronf sfrnfogIos. Thoy woro cnrofuI fo chock
In wIfh survIvors nbouf onch of fhoIr sfrnfo-
gIos. If`s Imorfnnf fo nofo fhnf ono survIvor
chnngod hor roIo ns fho rocoss confInuod. Af
hrsf, sho wns fho mnIn orson who drovo fho
InIfInI confronfnfIon wIfh !ou. As fho grou
rossurod !ou moro IndIrocfIy, sho choso fo
sfny on fho sIdoIIno. Tho grou dId n good job
of boIng oxIbIo wIfh hor shIffIng roIo.
Tho fncf fhnf fho grou workod coIIocfIvoIy
wns nIso vory crIfIcnI. Wo hnd fho ImrossIon
fhnf somofImos fhoIr work wns moro coIIoc-
fIvoIy drIvon nnd somofImos onIy ono or fwo
ooIo woro fho mnIn orgnnIzors. Whon onIy
ono or fwo ooIo woro doIng fho work, If
wns cIonr fhnf fho rocoss Iosf somo susfnIn-
nbIIIfy. Howovor, wo musf nIso roocf n Iof
of comnssIon on fho ronIIfy fhnf somo foIks
who InIfInIIy bognn fo orgnnIzo ronIIzod down
fho IIno fhnf fhoy noodod sfrongor boundnr-
Ios bofwoon fhomsoIvos nnd fho rocoss. In
forms of InnnIng, If mny bo hoIfuI fo do on-
goIng soIf-chocks fo nofo how fho work mny
bo frIggorIng ono`s own oxorIonco of survIv-
Ing vIoIonco or fo doformIno If ono jusf gon-
ornIIy hns n Iow cnncIfy for doIng fhIs /inJ
Confronling Parlner Abuse in Aclivisl Connunilies
75
of nccounfnbIIIfy work. Iorhns fho fyo of
sfrnfogy Is nof n good mnfch for fho cuIfuro
of fho grou. As fhIs grou movod Info n dIf-
foronf dIrocfIon fhnf focusod moro on rnIsIng
conscIousnoss nnd buIIdIng sfrongor commu-
nIfy connocfIons, wo nofIcod n sIgnIhcnnf ro-
vIvnI In fho onorgy of fho orgnnIzors.
IInnIIy, wo fhInk fhnf fho mosf Imorfnnf
rIncIIo fhnf mndo n dIfforonco In fhIs com-
munIfy`s work wns whon fhoy rosonfod n
crIfIcnI nnnIysIs of soxunI vIoIonco nnd rno
cuIfuro fo fho Inrgor communIfy of rock mu-
sIcInns nnd nIfornnfIvo nrfIsfs. If soomod
Imorfnnf fo sn fho nrrognnco of fho nows-
nor`s uncrIfIcnI dofonso of !ou, gIvon how
much Inuonco fho nowsnor hns wIfhIn
fho Inrgor communIfy. Wo nIso fhInk fhnf
cronfIng nnd shnrIng fho sfnfomonf wns Im-
orfnnf In IIghf of fho grou`s yorIng sfrnf-
ogy. Thoro`s vory IIffIo ono cnn sny on n yor
nnd soxunI vIoIonco cnn bo vory comIIcnfod.
ThoIr sfnfomonf dId n gronf job of domon-
sfrnfIng fho fuII dImonsIon of soxunI vIoIonco
by wonvIng In fho survIvors` voIcos In fhoIr
own words, usIng sfnfIsfIcnI InformnfIon fo
show why ooIo do nof boIIovo survIvors,
nnd rosonfIng n IIbornfory vIsIon of nccounf-
nbIIIfy nnd jusfIco.
Somo mombors of fho communIfy mny rogrof
fhnf fhoy woro uIfImnfoIy unnbIo fo com-
oI !ou fo foIIow fhoIr domnnds. Howovor,
CA!A fooIs fhnf If`s nof unronsonnbIo fo
fhInk fhnf fhoIr work dId hnvo n sIgnIhcnnf
Imncf on !ou. Affor oxorIoncIng fho fuII
forco of coIIocfIvo orgnnIzIng whIch nssorfod
fhnf hIs bohnvIor wns unnccofnbIo, wo von-
furo fo guoss fhnf !ou mIghf bo Ioss IIkoIy
fo ncf In mnnIuInfIvo nnd nbusIvo wnys. In
nny cnso, wo fhInk fhoIr work mny hnvo nIso
comoIIod ofhor mombors of fho communIfy
fo fhInk crIfIcnIIy nbouf fho wny In whIch
consonf oornfos In fhoIr soxunI oncounfors,
whIch Is Imorfnnf work In rovonfIng fu-
furo soxunI vIoIonco. AIso, If`s Imorfnnf fo
romombor fhnf fhIs communIfy dId In fncf
sfny wIfh fhoIr nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss for
fho Iong-hnuI fhoy now sImIy hnvo fhoIr
sIghfs sof hIghor fhnn !ou.
Scehario Three: MnrIsoI Is n young, rndIcnI
ChIcnnn ncfIvIsf who orgnnIzos wIfh CA!A
ns woII ns fho IocnI chnfor of n nnfIonnI ChI-
cnno ncfIvIsf grou, !nIdo. WhIIo nffondIng
nn ovornIghf, ouf of- fown conforonco wIfh
!nIdo, n young mnn, Junn, soxunIIy nssnuIf-
od hor. Whon sho rofurnod homo, sho shnrod
hor oxorIonco wIfh orgnnIzors nf CA!A. Sho
foId us how hurf nnd confusod sho foIf ns n
rosuIf of fho nssnuIf, osocInIIy sInco If hn-
onod In fho confoxf of orgnnIzIng nf !nIdo.
Tho orgnnIzors vnIIdnfod hor fooIIngs nnd
suorfod hor fo ongngo In n honIIng rocoss.
Wo fhon bognn fo fnIk wIfh hor moro nbouf
!nIdo fo gof n boffor grns on fho cuIfuro
of fho orgnnIznfIon ns n whoIo nnd If fhoy
hnd fho fooIs fo nddross soxunI vIoIonco ns n
robIom In fhoIr communIfy.
MnrIsoI ronIIzod fhnf sho noodod fo dIscuss
fho robIom wIfh ofhor young womon nf !nI-
do. Through convorsnfIons wIfh fhom, sho
Ionrnod fhnf Junn hnd nn on-goIng nfforn
of soxunIIy nssnuIfIng ofhor young womon
orgnnIzIng wIfh !nIdo. Sho found fhroo ofh-
or womon who hnd hnd sImIInr oxorIoncos
wIfh fho snmo ncfIvIsf. ThIs InformnfIon
Iod MnrIsoI fo orgnnIzo nn omorgoncy moof-
Ing wIfh fho womon of !nIdo fo dIscuss fho
robIom. Af fhIs moofIng, sho Ionrnod fhnf
fhIs bohnvIor hnd boon hnonIng for yonrs
nnd womon boforo hor frIod fo nddross If nnd
domnnd fhnf Junn bo ojocfod from fho osI-
fIon of owor ho ossossod wIfhIn fho orgnnI-
znfIon. Howovor, fhough !nIdo`s IondorshI
hnd fnIkod fo fho Junn nbouf hIs bohnvIor,
fhoro wns no ronI foIIow-u nnd no conso-
quoncos.
Tho young ChIcnnns of !nIdo docIdod fo do-
vIso n Inn fo confronf !nIdo`s InrgoIy mnIo
IondorshI nbouf fho robIom of soxunI vIo-
Ionco In gonornI nnd Junn`s bohnvIor socIh-
The Fevolulion Slarls al Hone
76
cnIIy. IdonfIfyIng fho crImInnI sysfom ns n
ronI robIom In fhoIr communIfy, fhoy dId
nof wnnf fo ursuo Inw onforcomonf-bnsod
rosonsos. AIso, MnrIsoI dId nof wnnf fho
oIsodo fo ond wIfh !nIdo sImIy IsoInfIng
fho nggrossor wIfhouf rosoIvIng Junn`s nbu-
sIvo bohnvIor. Tho young womon docIdod on
n Inn fhnf IncIudod domnndIng fhnf Junn
sfo down from IondorshI osIfIons In !nI-
do, fhnf ho ursuo counsoIIng nnd fhnf hIs
frIonds suorf hIm fo go fo nrorInfo
counsoIIng, nnd fhnf !nIdo ursuo InfonsIvo
oducnfIonnI work on soxunI vIoIonco.
Tho womon`s coIIocfIvo sfrongfh nnd domnnds
woro so oworfuI, fhnf !nIdo`s IondorshI
ngrood fo romovo Junn from !nIdo`s rnnks
nnd fo sonsor frnInIngs on soxunI vIoIonco
nof jusf wIfhIn !nIdo`s IocnI SonffIo chnfor,
buf rIorIfIzo fho Issuo fhroughouf !nIdo`s
nnfIonnI ngondn. Tho worksho currIcuIum
focusod on fho connocfIon bofwoon IIbornfIon
for MoxIcnns nnd ChIcnnos nnd fho work of
ondIng soxunI vIoIonco.
AIso, bocnuso of fho hoI of hIs frIonds nnd
communIfy, Junn wns suorfod fo go fo cuI-
furnIIysocIhc counsoIIng nddrossIng owor
nnd confroI Issuos, nrfIcuInrIy for nggros-
sors of soxunI vIoIonco. MnrIsoI nIso workod
fo buIId n sfrong communIfy of suorf for
horsoIf nnd ofhor survIvors wIfhIn !nIdo.
IvonfunIIy sho docIdod If wns boffor for hor
honIfh fo cronfo n boundnry bofwoon horsoIf
nnd fhIs nrfIcuInr chnfor of !nIdo, buf nf-
for n yonr`s bronk, sho Is orgnnIzIng wIfh nn-
ofhor chnfor of !nIdo. Thoro, sho Is Incor-
ornfIng n conscIousnoss of soxunI vIoIonco
nnd mIsogyny Info fho IocnI chnfor`s oIIfI-
cnI ngondn.
Workihg Ihe Prihciples: Comnrod fo fho
ofhor fwo sconnrIos, fhIs sconnrIo hnd n rof-
fy shorf fImoIIno. WhIIo fho hrsf sconnrIo
hns fnkon ovor fwo yonrs (so fnr!), fho soc-
ond sconnrIo hns boon hnonIng for n IIffIo
ovor n yonr, fho fhIrd Insfod for n moro fwo
monfhs. Ono ronson Is fho l4 onso In whIch
n sfrong nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss cnn bo fn-
cIIIfnfod whon fho communIfy Is n socIhc
grou of ooIo rnfhor fhnn nn unsfrucfurod
nnd InformnI grou. If fhoro Is n sysfom of
nccounfnbIIIfy wIfhIn fho communIfy fhnf Is
nIrondy sof u, orgnnIzors cnn mnxImIzo fhnf
fooI fo fncIIIfnfo nn nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss for
soxunI vIoIonco.
InforosfIngIy, orgnnIzors nf !nIdo rovIousIy
nffomfod fo hoId fho nggrossor nccounfnbIo
usIng fho snmo monns, buf fhoIr domnnds
woro nof fnkon sorIousIy. Wo fhInk fho nf-
fomf Iod by MnrIsoI wns moro succossfuI
for fwo ronsons. IIrsf, survIvors woro bnckod
u by n coIIocfIvo of ooIo Insfond of jusf n
fow foIks. ThIs Ionf crodIbIIIfy nnd owor fo
fho grou of orgnnIzors ns fhoy nronchod
!nIdo`s IondorshI. Socond, fho orgnnIzors
woro cIonror nbouf whnf fhoy wnnfod fo soo
hnon wIfh Junn ns woII ns wIfh !nIdo.
Insfond of n vnguo cnII for nccounfnbIIIfy,
fho womon nssorfod socIhc sfos fhnf fhoy
wnnfod Junn nnd !nIdo fo fnko. ThIs cInrIfy
hoIod rossuro !nIdo fo moof fho chnIIongo
by comIyIng wIfh fho socIhc domnnds fhnf
fho womon cnIIod for.
AIso, fho fncf fhnf Junn`s frIonds ngrood
fo suorf hIm fo nffond counsoIIng wns n
gronf succoss. Suorf from frIonds nnd fnm-
IIy Is orhns ono of fho mosf offocfIvo wnys
fo onsuro fhnf nggrossors nffond counsoIIng
If fhnf Is fho gonI. Thoy cnn bo moro comns-
sIonnfo bocnuso fhoy Iovo fho orson, fhoy
nro moro Infogrnfod In fho orson`s IIfo, nnd
fhoy hnvo moro crodIbIIIfy wIfh fho orson.
Suorf from fho nggrossor`s frIonds nnd
fnmIIy cnn bo n rocIous rosourco In socur-
Ing nn nggrossor`s foIIow fhrough wIfh nn nc-
counfnbIIIfy rocoss.
A Note On CredibiIity
Wo hoo fhnf fho nbovo sconnrIos rovonI fho
jnzzInoss offon noodod for n communIfy fo
Confronling Parlner Abuse in Aclivisl Connunilies
77
nogofInfo IfsoIf fhrough n comIox rocoss
fhnf hns muIfIIo comononfs. WhIIo orgn-
nIzors shouId bo commIffod fo somo fundn-
monfnI oIIfIcnI rIncIIos (womnnIsm/fomI-
nIsm, nnfI-rncIsm, roquoor, ofc.), nnd cnn
buIId on fho orgnnIzIng rIncIIos wo hnvo
IIsfod nbovo, fho confoxf of nny sIfunfIon wIII
IIkoIy bo comIox, nnd fhoroforo orgnnIzors
musf nIso bo oxIbIo onough fo modIfy nnd
Imrovo fncfIcs ns fho rocoss unfoIds.
To undorscoro fho nood for jnzzInoss, wo
wnnf fo brIoy oxIoro n robIom fhnf comos
u froquonfIy In communIfy nccounfnbIIIfy
work: how do fho communIfy nnd fho orgn-
nIzors fhInk nbouf fho creJiIili/, of survI-
vors nnd of nggrossors Iocnuso of oros-
sIon, ooIo of coIor, womon, young ooIo,
quoor ooIo, nnd ooIo wIfh dIsnbIIIfIos
nro offon nof boIIovod whon foIIIng fhoIr sfo-
rIos of boIng vIoInfod nnd oxIoIfod. In our
hrsf sconnrIo, for oxnmIo, ono of fho IInck
womon who oxorIoncod soxunI hnrnssmonf
wnsn`f boIIovod bocnuso of fho rncInIIzod nnd
gondorod sforoofyos of IInck womon ns ro-
mIscuous. Ior fhIs ronson, fho wIdor fomInIsf
nnfIvIoIonco communIfy hns n rIncIIo of nI-
wnys boIIovIng womon If fhoy roorf boIng
soxunIIy vIoInfod.
CA!A nIso Ionns In fhIs dIrocfIon, buf wo do
nof do so uncrIfIcnIIy. Wo fry fo dovoIo n
rocoss of engogenen/ wIfh n orson`s sfory
of boIng vIoInfod, rnfhor fhnn fhInkIng of fho
rocoss ns n foc/-[nJing nieeion wIfh nn ond
gonI of doformInIng fho ObjocfIvo Trufh of
Whnf !onIIy Hnonod. If Is nImosf ImossI-
bIo fo rovo n soxunI nssnuIf hnonod nnd
whon If Is ossIbIo, If Is IncrodIbIy fImo nnd
rosourco-consumIng. Tho ronIIfy Is fhnf n
orfocfIy nccurnfo nccounf of nn IncIdonco of
soxunI vIoIonco Is dIfhcuIf fo nffnIn. Though
ovoryono hns nn obIIgnfIon fo rocounf fhoIr
oxorIonco ns nccurnfoIy ns fhoy cnn, somo-
fImos survIvors do nof gof ovory dofnII rIghf
or fhoIr sfory mny bo InconsIsfonf. Thnf`s
undorsfnndnbIo fho oxorIonco of soxunI
vIoIonco cnn bo oxfromoIy frnumnfIc, nnd
frnumn cnn Imncf n orson`s momory nnd
orcofIon. Iurfhormoro, fho l5 orson`s
ngo or dIsnbIIIfy mny Imncf fhoIr cnncIfy
fo convoy fhoIr sfory wIfh orfocf nccurncy.
ThIs doos nof nocossnrIIy undormIno fhoIr
crodIbIIIfy. SomofImos nggrossors cnn hnvo
whnf sooms fo bo n vory oIIshod nccounf of
whnf hnonod. Thnf doos nof nocossnrIIy
monn fhnf fhoy oughf fo bo boIIovod.
l0
As n sfrnfogy fo sfo nround fhIs robIom
of crodIbIIIfy, wo ImIomonf n jnzzy mofhod
fhnf domnnds nn InfonfIonnI ongngomonf of
orgnnIzors wIfh fho ooIo nnd fho confoxf of
fho sIfunfIon. OrgnnIzors nro nof objocfIvo,
cooIIy dofnchod rocoIvors of n roorf; rnfhor,
fhoy nro hoIIng fo buIId nnd cronfo fho wny
fo fhInk nbouf whnf hnonod nnd whnf
shouId hnon noxf.
CrIfIcnIIy ongngIng nn nccounf of soxunI ns-
snuIf monns fo ncfIvoIy consIdor If In muI-
fIIo confoxfs. Ior oxnmIo, wo como fo fhIs
work wIfh nn undorsfnndIng fhnf wo IIvo In
n cuIfuro In whIch soxunI vIoIonco Is, sndIy,
n roguInr occurronco. Wo consIdor how InsfI-
fufIonnI orossIon Informs ooIo`s choIcos
wIfhIn fho sIfunfIons In quosfIon. Wo Iook nf
ooIo`s nfforns of bohnvIor. Wo fhInk nbouf
ofhor InformnfIon fhnf wo know nbouf fho
communIfy In whIch fho vIoIonco hnonod
fhnf mny bo hoIfuI. Iocnuso wo undorsfnnd
fhnf wo nro nIso nof objocfIvo, wo roocf on
how our own bInsos mIghf bo InformIng fho
wny In whIch wo orcoIvo InformnfIon nnd
whofhor fhIs Is hoIfuI or nof. Wo hoI onch
ofhor fhInk crIfIcnIIy nround hnrd cornors of
fho sfory so fhnf our nnnIysIs doosn`f bocomo
nnrrow or dovoIo In IsoInfIon. In shorf, wo
crIfIcnIIy ongngo fho sfory fo como u wIfh
our bosf nssossmonf of Imorfnnf Iocos of
fho sfory nnd fhon dovoIo n Inn fo nddross
fho sIfunfIon bnsod on soIId oIIfIcnI vnIuos
nnd orgnnIzIng rIncIIos.
The Fevolulion Slarls al Hone
73
ConcIusion
CIvon fho InfonsIfy of nddrossIng soxunI vI-
oIonco In n communIfy, nnmIng nn nggros-
sor wIII nImosf nocossnrIIy cnuso somo com-
munIfy uhonvnI nnd hurf. Wo urgo ooIo
orgnnIzIng for communIfy nccounfnbIIIfy fo
bo ronrod for fho rIsks InvoIvod In IondIng
n communIfy nccounfnbIIIfy rocoss. ThIs
work wIII bo hnrd nnd mossy, buf If Is nIso
work fhnf Is vIfnI, dooIy IIbornfory, monn-
IngfuI, nnd gonrod fownrds movomonf buIId-
Ing. IngngIng wIfh communIfIos fo do fhIs
work hoIs fo roconnocf ooIo fo ono nnofh-
or, ofonfInIIy sfrongfhonIng our roInfIon-
shIs nnd mnkIng our communIfIos moro ro-
sIIIonf nnd ronrod for ofhor oIIfIcnI work.
Insfond of doondIng on InsfIfufIons fo su-
orf us - InsfIfufIons fhnf wIII offon rosond
orossIvoIy If fhoy rosond nf nII - com-
munIfy nccounfnbIIIfy work hoIs us fo do-
voIo n rncfIco of IIbornfIon In our orsonnI
IIvos, our communIfy IIvos, nnd our oIIfIcnI
IIvos. !ovoIufIonnry movomonf buIIdIng wIII
onIy hnon If wo cnn buIId fho sysfoms nnd
rncfIcos fhnf nfhrm our IIbornfIon-bnsod
vnIuos of connocfIon, ngoncy, rosocf, soIf-
doformInnfIon, nnd jusfIco. CommunIfy nc-
counfnbIIIfy work rovIdos us wIfh n crIfIcnI
oorfunIfy fo frnnsform our roInfIonshIs
nnd communIfIos fo roocf fhoso IIbornfory
vnIuos.
1
For lhe purposes of lhis arlicle, we use lhe word aggres
sor lo refer lo a person who has connilled an acl of sexual
violence (rape, sexual harassnenl, coercion, elc. on anolher
person. Our use of lhe word aggressor is nol an allenpl lo
weaken lhe severily of rape. n our work of defning accounl
abilily oulside of lhe crininal syslen, we lry nol lo use crini
nalbased vocabulary such as perpelralor, rapisl, or sex
predalor. ve also use pronouns inlerchangeably lhroughoul
lhe arlicle.
2
Colding, Jacqueline ., el al. Social Supporl Sources Fol
lowing Assaull, Journal of Connunily Psychology, 17:92
107, January 1939. This paper is jusl one exanple of research
showing lhal survivors are nuch nore likely lo access friends
and fanily for supporl lhan lhey are lo access police or rape
crisis cenlers. Coldings research reveals lhal 59'of survivors
surveyed reporled lhal lhey disclosed lheir assaull lo friends
and relalives, while 10.5' reporled lo police and 1.9' re
porled lo rape crisis cenlers. nlereslingly, Coldings research
also asserls lhal survivors raled
rape crisis cenlers as nosl helpful and law enforcenenl as
leasl helpful. She suggesls lhal, since friends or relalives are
lhe nosl frequenl conlacl for rape viclin disclosure, efforls
should focus on enhancing and supporling lhis infornal inler
venlion.
3
Borrowing fron philosopher Cornel vesl, we can call lhis
approach of sinullaneous inprovisalion and slruclure a jazzy
approach. uch like jazz nusic, a connunily accounlabilily
process can incorporale nany differenl and diverse conpo
nenls lhal allow for lhe conplexily of addressing sexual vio
lence while also respecling lhe need for sone slabilily and
careful planning. Also, like jazz nusic, an accounlabilily pro
cess is nol an end poinl or a fnile lhing, bul a living lhing lhal
conlinues lo be crealed. Our underslanding of connunily ac
counlabilily ullinalely lranscends lhe idea of sinply holding
an abusive connunily nenber responsible for his or her ac
lions, bul also includes lhe vision of lhe connunily ilself be
ing accounlable for supporling a cullure lhal allows for sexual
violence. This laller accounlabilily process lruly necessilales
aclive and conslanl recrealing and reaffrning a connunily
lhal values liberalion for everyone.
4
ve defne inlernalized oppression, as lhe process of a
person lhal belongs lo a narginalized and oppressed group
accepling, pronoling, and juslifying beliefs of inferiorily and
lack of value aboul her group and, perhaps, herself.
5
Thank you lo lhe orlhwesl elwork of Bisexual, Trans,
Lesbian, and Cay Survivors of Abuse for asserling lhe verb in
safely plan.
6
ve do nol nean lo sinply inply lhal lhe principle of in
nocenl unlil proven guilly should be conplelely discarded.
However, we also recognize lhal lhis parlicular goal is aclu
ally oflen disregarded in a crininal syslen lhal is enlrenched
wilh inslilulional racisn and oppression. Our goal is lo cre
ale values lhal are independenl fron a crininal juslicebased
approach lo accounlabilily, including lhinking crilically aboul
ideas such as innocenl unlil proven guilly fron lhe perspec
live of how lhese ideas aclually inpacl oppressed people.
7
All nanes of people and organizalions have been changed
for lhe purposes of lhis arlicle, nol because we are concerned
aboul lhe legal ranifcalions of slander or because we have a
blankel rule aboul confdenlialily, bul because we lry lo be in
lenlional aboul when and for whal reason we publicly idenlify
aggressors.
3
Those of us working on connunily accounlabilily should
have a lalk aboul aggressors lhreals of suing for slander and
libel. These lhreals happen oflen, especially if lhe aggressor
is wellknown and has a repulalion lo defend. However, when
suing for slander or libel, one has lhe burden of proof and nusl
be able lo denonslrale lhal lhe allegalions are false. ls very
hard lo prove lhal sonelhing is false, especially when ils, in
facl, lrue. Slill, lhe lhreal of a lawsuil can underslandably be
frighlening and il would be helpful lo have nore conversalions
aboul whal lhe aclual danger is and perhaps develop sone
Confronling Parlner Abuse in Aclivisl Connunilies
79
besl praclices when considering using public disclosure as a
lool lo reach
accounlabilily.
9
Press Felease, January 25, 2003
10
ore lhinking nay need lo be done lo address silualions in
which people are inlenlionally lying aboul an accounl of rape
or abuse. vhal happens if soneone uses an accusalion of
abuse as a lool lo isolale, punish or conlrol lhal person? This
could happen in an abusive relalionship, bul il could also hap
pen as funclion of oppression (for exanple, a slraighl wonan
accuses a queer wonan of harassnenl sinply by virlue of her
being queer, or a while wonan accuses a Black nan of sexual
assaull because of her own racisn. Anolher problen is when
a person experiences an evenl as violenl, bul lhis experience
doesnl fl lhe connunilys general defnilion of violence.
The connunily nay need lo fgure oul if il should expand ils
nolion of violence or if a differenl analysis and response
is needed. Laslly, while slruggling lhrough lhese queslions,
wed like lo caulion our lefl/progressive connunily againsl
crealing a cullure of endless process lhal slands in for orga
nized aclion. ssues of credibilily, as well as olher conlrover
sial issues, are conplicaled and can sap a groups line and
energy. You nay nol even need lo cone lo consensus aboul
how lo fnally lhink aboul whal happened. Bul lhis doesnl
necessarily nean you canl cone lo consensus on a plan of
aclion lo respond.