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The Social Lie: A Not Forgotten Finishing-School Topic

Politeness and propriety are always the goal of the finishing-school lady. Short of pending
death or ultimate demise, she should keep an armament of certain techniques and tools of
social interchange at hand.
This includes the Social Lie.
If you havent heard of it before (or been raised to use it), it isnt what you might think.
Platitudes are not what were discussing. Although those and other social niceties are quite in
order at most times and places, within moderation and exercising good reason. The Social Lie
is the proper tool for most formal or organized social occasions or events. It is where they
belong.
The Social Lie is obvious to everyone and respected for its authoritative value in times and
places that include polite conversation and mingling.
It may include the obvious, such as the politely assuring a hostess that youre enjoying her
party even if a cup of tea was spilled on you, accidentally, or the heel on your shoe broke on
the new garden steps, etc. These types of Social Lies are obvious, and have their place. In
truth, it is irrelevant short of sudden illness or medical emergency just how you feel during a
social soiree.
Remember that it is "not about me." That would be an erroneous attitude for a finishing
school lady at any organized social event. For occasions, even casual ones, it should always
be about the other person, to remain within the groundrules of finishing-school behaviors.
The actual demeanor and attitude of the finishing-school lady at social functions should be to
behave as if they are always ensuring that the other person is having a good time.
Social Lies support the structure and function of the social circle and its supporting
components. As a part of the finishing-school ladys savoir-vivre, it is a recognized necessity
that such components remain in place, to continue to support the societal place and station in
life which she is in by her own choosing. The Social Lie also contains other depths of
usefulness. For example, it may be utilized to contain the conversations within proper
directions at social function within the scope and range of the society rules. Fomenting
scandals or burgeoning rumors may all be handled with the Social Lie.
If a scandalous news story is affecting a member of the said society, it would not be discussed
at a proper social function; the Social Lie may be used to guarantee that conversations though
scintillating stay within the social parameters. A simple reply about topics that she couldn't
have avoided learning about may be handled in savvy ways such as, No, I dont believe Im
aware of that [insert rumor] As you know, the PTA is still accepting new volunteers .
Clever finishing-school ladies are always on top of the conversation and its directions
therefore and never get beyond her control. She has become through the artful use of
conversation and her finishing-school education the master of the Social Lie.

By Kristin-Marie Wall