Escolar Documentos
Profissional Documentos
Cultura Documentos
Any resemblance
toreal persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental . . . with the exception of Molly
Meldrum.
First published in 2014
Copyright Jenny Valentish 2014
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17
REMEMBERING THE BAIN MARIES
Rose had held my coat the whole time and said nothing. We
both said nothing until we pushed through her front gate
twenty minutes later and she unlocked the front door. Its panel
held stained-glass roses, and when we were little I managed to
convince Rose that her parents had named her after the door.
Im starving, she announced, slinging her bag down in the
hallway under the ornate mirror and coat hooks. Ihung mine on
a hook so that Roses mother, Dee, would be pleased with me.
It would take me years before I realised that everyone has a
story, even Rose. This truth would be reiterated to me by a series
of professionals whenever the record company packed me off to
rehabilitation retreats with names like Dry Cedars to refresh.
Ishould have been refreshing, but instead Id wind up festering
between stiff sheets that had an unbearable texture beneath
my thumbs. Flanked by bottles of expensive mineral water and
sentimental cards adorned with cautious floral designs, Iwould
contemplate how intolerably perfect my cousins life was.
For example, while I might hang out of the bathroom window
and smoke of an evening, planning escape, Rose would be eating
dinner in the bosom of her family, at this kitchen table under
the low wicker lightshade that threw little rectangles all over the
walls. I sat down in one of the chairs, just picturing it. Shed
be served proper homemade lasagne, because Dee made decent
meals with incredible ingredients like nutmeg and chives. Iloved
dinner at Roses house. Ihad to put up with visits to church if it
was a Sunday, but I could pretend I was their favourite daughter
and theyd play along.
Separation by Ninas Parents
The question on everyones lips with this new direction for the
beleaguered Dall family is simply: could Separation be too little
too late after the epic disappointments of recent years? Hopes
waned after Ninas Parents first effort, Your Father and I . . . (2007),
18
Cherry Bomb
failed to ring true with its depressing refrains including Youre just
going to spend a few months with your grandparents, and so this
follow-up must quit all the backtracking and forge ahead. I fear
we will never again have the halcyon days of, say, Ninas Fifth Year
or Ninas Favourite Christmas, but already things are sounding
more harmonious. Separation could be a bold move in the right
direction. 4/5
Molly Meldrum
Dee and Tim werent home yet, though. Rose put vintage
No Doubt on the stereo and I hopped on the counter and
picked gravel out of my palms as she made sandwiches. Gwen
Stefani really was the ultimate. It was uncanny how alike we
were. She had a mezzo-soprano range; so did I. She paired
platinum blonde hair with pink lipstick; so did I. She liked
bra tops; I liked bra tops.
In Roses bedroom we lay on the bed and ate our sandwiches
with the windows cranked open. Rose drew eyes on my arm.
She never drew anything but slightly feline eyes, colouring the
pupils in blue. Shed Tippexed her nails and then coloured them
in black with a Sharpie.
Dont eat the bread, she said. Or just eat one slice.
She wriggled up next to me and slipped a thin arm through
mine. Rose was tactile. Shed reach out and touch my hair or pat
someones thigh, without worrying about whether they thought
she was a pervert. And because it was Rose, they didnt.
Youve got such beautiful eyes, she mewed with her mouth
full. I could tell she was practising her voice for boys. We had
the exact same colour eyes, so I was just a walking mirror to her
half the time. Rose was the sort of girl whod look at a sunset
and think, That would look nice on me.
She had a silky warmth that made me envious, but Rose was
the master of the put-down buoyed up like a pom-pom shake.
19
REMEMBERING THE BAIN MARIES
My mother, who had asked me to call her Helen as of this
year, reckoned: If Rose were any smarter, shed be dangerous.
And also: Shes knows shes boring. Shes so boring she cant
even bring herself to finish anything she says.
And: Shes so highly strung you could play Twinkle Twinkle
on herwhich was unkind, because Rose had been picked on at
private school, which was why shed downgraded to my school.
You couldnt blame her for never daring to have my back.
Helen was more of an unsentimental, pull-your-socks-up sort
than most. There was no talking to her: everything you said got
filed away and used in future evidence against you, after she was
done being defensive about it. Ididnt want to be like her, bunched
up with bitterness. Rose and I had spent hours hanging out in
Parramatta Park at dusk with just a goon bag and a few possums
for company, speculating on what vexed her so much. Iknew all
about the adultery stuff, because since he moved out Dad used me
as his confidante whenever hed had a few beersand Id get a
few beers out of it, too. It was just hard-done-by talk as he stared
sightlessly at the TV in the corner of whatever pub hed treated us
to. His revelations rarely surprised me. Men always wanted me to
bear witness to their sexiness, for some reason; it didnt matter
what their relationship to me was.
Nothing got Helen madder than mentions of Alannah, though.
We put it down to jealousy. Helen had been Alannahs personal
assistant back in the early eighties, but it hadnt lasted more than
a year. She was my rock, Alannah explained in her memoir.
But we were too close, if anything.
Rose had a careless disdain for her own mother, Dee, but
despite Dees reproaches about not being a taxi service, they
enjoyed spending time together. When she was younger, Rose
used to get up at seven in the morning and, unbidden, clean parts
of the house for her parents, just for good-girl points. Cleaning
brought her peace. Each odd item organised in an orderly fashion
20
Cherry Bomb
satisfied a need in her brain; the same satisfaction she would get
from putting people in their place later in life.
Project Bain Maries, said Rose, emphasising each word as
she pushed aside her plate. Ive been thinking, if you pash the
guy in Cash Converters he might loan us a drum kit. Just for
a little while.
Her tone of voice told me she wasnt serious, but sometimes
Rose would recruit me for just such a mission. I knew well
the thrill of being able to make someone groan just by using
my body, but Rose didnt understand the power of it all. So
she left it to me.
No way, Isaid. There was something very wrong about that
bloke; more wrong than I could handle, so I didnt need Rose
putting thoughts in my head.
Its either that or a drum machine, so choose, she said.
Okay, next item on the agenda: what to wear on stage. Dont
freak out, okay, but I got you this.
She reached under the bed, where she kept her diary, and
pulled out a biker jacket that bore the battle scars of a thousand
hectic nights. I knew it had cost a hundred and fifty bucks,
because Id checked the tag when we were in Threads and made
a sad face.
Every weekend Rose and I made the pilgrimage to Sydneys
inner west. Newtown, with its tattoo parlours and vintage-clothes
stores hunkered under coloured tin awnings, was like the Land
of Oz to us. We followed the curve of King Street from one end
to the other, stopping in at every shop, although it was only Rose
who ever had any money. Im not saying she was spoilt, but her
dad did once pick her up from school camp in the Benz instead
of the everyday car, and when she squealed Daddy! and took
a running jump into his arms, Ihad to turn away.
Rose knelt on the bed behind me and gently released my hair
from its ponytail. A strand fell down my face and I closed my
21
REMEMBERING THE BAIN MARIES
eyes. Now we both have one. Your old coats so stinky, Icant
stand it anymore.
I lifted the jacket off the bed. It was heavy.
I got it when you were in the changing room trying on that
T-shirt, she said, pleased with herself. Ithought she might have.
Ispent ages in there.
Rose was on the money with the jacket. Usually we had very
different tastes. Iwas already starting to realise that there were
some clothes that only women thought were adorable, including
clogs, culottes, brogues and berets, and so I tried on things
with unisex appeal, such as hotpants and tight pedal-pushers,
tilting my head for the sideways-on smooth-down. Rose always
bought herself variations of the same thing; say, two polka-dot
cardigans in minutely different shades. She saw patterns and
repetition everywhere; it drove me nuts. And pairs. She was
especially interested in pairs.
Nina, prompted Rose. Try it on.
It doesnt smell, Igrumbled of my old coat, but I was already
disowning it, pulling this one on and getting to my feet so that
I could examine myself in front of her full-length mirror. Id
boil in it, but I looked super hot-hot. Definitely, Ilooked like I
might be in a band.
Fits like a glove, Rose crowed. It confirmed her long-held
belief that she knew me better than I knew myself.
But she didnt, that was the thing. I didnt deserve jackets.
Ididnt deserve Rose. Id done something to my cousin that shed
never forgive me for if she ever found out.
I couldnt bring myself to think about it, ever.
It was my fault that Erica asked to join the band. She and I had
fallen into a truce whereby we had stopped calling each other
skanks in the corridor and would phone each other after school
22
Cherry Bomb
in the spirit of keeping ones enemies close. Id sing her some
song that was probably going to be a big hit and shed tell me
who she was thinking of bashing. When it came to hanging up
wed both stay silently on the phone, trying not to breathe.
During those calls Id say things like, Yeah, it probably,
like, wont come to anything, but weve got an albums worth
of material now, and Id mention the Telecaster I was saving
up for, even though I was still dragging a Strat copy to and
from Roses house. It was just brags, but then Erica expressed
an interest, forcefully. Iprobably still had some wriggle room if
I wanted to escape, if it were not for the fact that her brother
had the only known drum kit in Parramatta, other than the
ones in Cash Converters.
Its a temporary measure, Rose said intensely, when we had
a meeting on her bed to discuss it. This band is you and me.
And if either of us ever leaves, its over.
Top 10 Rose and Nina bedroom band names
1. The Bain Maries
2. The Cruella Devilles
3. Las Chicas
4. The Alannahs
5. Hot Tamales
6. The Lesbians
7. The Foundlings
8. Miso Horny
9. Geisha Girls
10. The Vignettes
And so, The Bain Maries began to take solid form in Roses
bedroom, with Erica wedged behind the kit in shorts so small I
preferred not to turn around to face her. Reluctantly, Iput her
anarcho-vegetarian anthem to three chords.
23
REMEMBERING THE BAIN MARIES
C So you like a bit of steak to eat from day to day
C You like the taste and youre prepared to pay
F Money to kill the animals that do you no harm
C And at night you go to sleep safe and warm . . . G
We were, and will always remain, a punk-rock bandalthough
you may variously have read pop, pop-punk, punk-rock and
(terrible) kitty-punk. From the start, Iwas the chief songwriter.
Within a week I wrote the vaguely tribal Mud (Mud sticks,
sticks like glue / How about I throw it at you / Throw it at the
wall / Throw it at the wall / Throw it at the wall, etc.); and
Creeps and Perves, about the men of the western suburbs;
and Dead Samantha, with its unrevealingly ominous plotline
(She said oh my god / Oh my god / Oh my god). On this
particular night I revealed Dumb Girl, which was about Erica,
who thumped away at her toms none the wiser. Icould always
feel Ericas eyes boring into the back of me when we played,
probably judging me for looking too lithe.
Im not being horrible, but I think your guitar is out of tune,
Erica said, waving Dumb Girl to a halt. Rose sighed and drew
cherry lip balm on her lips, which Id come to understand meant:
This is your problem.
As soon as Erica left each night, Rose and I spent hours
honing our craft in front of her ensuite mirror. Lined up with
the light dimmed flatteringly, we practised shimmering. Ifilmed
Rose on my phone as she radiated magickal energy through
her eyeballs, then she did me. The model Tyra Banks called it
smizing and wed watched all the footage on Americas Next
Top Model. Rose had even started to upload her own tutorials,
on hair, make-up and facial expressions.
Im doing it! Get it! shed say.
Rose had a natural propensity to look sour when she was
off-guard, so my job was to make sure that she didnt slip. In
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Cherry Bomb
return, she coached me on how to give a small, magnanimous
sigh whenever a photo was taken, which softened the face.
Through the nose, she instructed. And think blessings.
Ibless you.
Wed also taken to speaking with American accents, though
we hadnt discussed this as such; it just happened organically. All
three of us, Rose decided, needed to wear one bra strap visibly
hanging down under our top, even at school. That would be
The Bain Maries thing.
These are some of my fondest memories of Rose. Anyone we
came to work closely with over the years, from stylists to drivers
and personal assistants, would comment among themselvesand
to the odd journalistthat she and I were scathing about each
other. But I needed her. I loved the reward of making her face
light up, just as I hated to feel myself blacken inside whenever
I compared our lives. So, when The Bain Maries were booked
time at Glasshouseto emerge, with John Villiers spit-polish,
as The DollsI didnt hesitate at the idea of being locked into
a contract with my cousin for an unspecified number of years.
We were yin and yang, the perfect foil to each other, Ithought.
And anyway, Iowed her.
Praise for Cherry Bomb
Though the coating is rocknroll, the tough interior is about
the capricious, bewildering whims of adolescence and young
adulthood. Nina Dall is as singular and mercurial a character
as Ive ever been charmed and terrified to meet.
TI M ROGERS
Valentish has nailed the desperate, sociopathic scramble to reach
the dizzying, depraved heights of rocknroll, where if you dont
hate your bandmates on some level, youre doing it wrong. I
laughed, I blushed, I actually guffawed. I couldnt put it down.
ABBE MAY
Jenny Valentish is hands-down one of my favourite writers in
Australia. Her first novel, Cherry Bomb, is full of punch, charm
and sleek observations.
ADALI TA
369
CHERRY BOMB SOUNDTRACK
CHAPTER 1: KINGS CROSS SHANGRI-LA
The Runaways: Cherry Bomb
Ramones: Sheena is a Punk Rocker
Cherry Glazerr: Teenage Girl
CHAPTER 2: REMEMBERING THE BAIN MARIES
Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Pin
Kenickie: Come Out 2Nite
Killing Heidi: Mascara
CHAPTER 3: MEN
Divinyls: Boys in Town
The Undertones: Teenage Kicks
The Belle Stars: Sign of the Times
CHAPTER 4: BAD MANAGER
The Long Blondes: Once and Never Again
Toni Braxton: He Wasnt Man Enough
The Distillers: Drain the Blood
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Cherry Bomb
CHAPTER 5: DUMMY
Lykke Li: Youth Knows No Pain
Sky Ferreira: Nobody Asked Me (If I Was Okay)
Babes in Toyland: Wont Tell
CHAPTER 6: AWARD FOR BEST PASH
L7: Can I Run
Abbe May: Sex Tourettes
Hole: Boys on the Radio
CHAPTER 7: ITS ON
The Raveonettes: Sleepwalking
PJ Harvey: You Said Something
The Pretenders: Night in My Veins
CHAPTER 8: THE GOLD COAST
Wanda Jackson: Fujiyama Mama
Stevie Nicks: Edge of Seventeen
Jane Wiedlin: Rush Hour
CHAPTER 9: THE BIG CHEESE
Danielle Dax: Cathouse
Daisy Chainsaw: Love Your Money
Ema: So Blonde
CHAPTER 10: THE UTE MUSTER
Daphne & Celeste: U.G.L.Y.
Cat Power: Lost Someone
Martha Wainwright: Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole
CHAPTER 11: CHEAP TRICK
Altered Images: I Could Be Happy
Bangles: Walking Down Your Street
Robyn: Dancing on my Own
371
CHERRY BOMB SOUNDTRACK
CHAPTER 12: FIGHT LIKE A GIRL
Lana Del Rey: This is What Makes Us Girls
Beach House: Myth
Cheetah: Spend the Night
CHAPTER 13: LOS ANGELES
The Runaways: Queens of Noise
The Go-Gos: This Town
Cyndi Lauper: Heading West
CHAPTER 14: TALL POPPIES
Jack off Jill: Fear of Flying
The Preatures: Is This How You Feel?
The Donnas: Who Invited You
CHAPTER 15: ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME
Holly and the Italians: Tell That Girl to Shut Up
Belly: Now Theyll Sleep
Dum Dum Girls: Wrong Feels Right
CHAPTER 16: THE AMERICAN TOUR
Ladyhawke: Back of the Van
Martha and the Muffins: Echo Beach
Elastica: Waking Up
CHAPTER 17: INTERVENTION
Neko Case: Hold On, Hold On
Concrete Blonde: Tomorrow Wendy
Those Darlins: Screws get Loose
CHAPTER 18: I TOUCH MYSELF
Strawberry Switchblade: Since Yesterday
Blondie: In the Flesh
The Motels: Total Control
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Cherry Bomb
CHAPTER 19: TAMWORTH
Bow Wow Wow: Go Wild in the Country
Savages: Husbands
The Pretenders: Night in My Veins
CHAPTER 20: SOAP SCUM
Lucinda Williams: King of Hearts
Adalita: Blue Sky
Ronnie Spector: Never Gonna Be Your Baby
CHAPTER 21: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
Lush: Hypocrite
Siouxsie and the Banshees: The Passenger
Mazzy Star: Fade Into You
CHAPTER 22: BOSS
M.I.A.: Paper Planes
The Slits: So Tough
Gossip: Heavy Cross
CHAPTER 23: TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP
Junk Horses: I phone, No Answer
Warpaint: Elephants
Lydia Lunch and Rowland S. Howard: Endless Fall
CHAPTER 24: NO NO NO
Metric: Dreams So Real
Transvision Vamp: Sister Moon
Catcall: The World is Ours