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Robben Wainer
526 West 152
nd
Street
N.Y. N.Y. 10031
robbenwainer@yahoo.com
robbenwainer@verizon.net
212!620"05
#Stream o$ %onscio&sness.'
(y Robben Wainer
To begin this stream of consciousness I draw from the experience of leading an adult literacy
group to explore the open ended questions that were most influential in our discussions. I would like to
begin by the conclusions we discovered about ourselves in regards to the missing elements that were
left to us without the proper perspective when acting by will, or intention in such a manner to achieve
our desired purpose. When understanding that we are subects of observable behavior, to include the
emotional response that begins with an underlying motive. The question of recurrent themes that were
formed either by disappointment, or by the response, actions, and reactions that defined our
characteristics were of no great choice of our own. These questions had at least surfaced in our
assessments, by our mutual consent that we were not at fault, while all measures seemed to point to the
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fact that we were. In our table of inquiry into self expression we examined our tools of literacy as a real
need to adapt our behavior to a world of letters that fell as an empty bottom in our pursuits of higher
ambition.
"t this uncture, we saw that our emotional behavior was unduly established as a reaction to
those elements that we were in defense of. It was the sheer one sided view or single mind purpose that
had stood in the way of our need for self expression. #ow then could we address this predicament into
a legitimate proposal with work in the $iterary world% Were our opening questions as we agreed had
left us too hurt or constrained to open our vision to the clear purpose of established critical thinking as
our main obective. The clarity that was established by the method we reached was that we would have
a classroom discussion as an open forum that could include the humble testaments of what had been
our digressions almost as an autobiographical account of the issues we needed to address concerning
this purpose, which we had worked so hard in achieving, but which at this point whose meaning was
illusive.
The questions we asked were very general and very naturalistic. &uch were our very viewpoints
about the nature of the world. In assigning out selves the very primitive task, of assimilating our
accountability as a learned behavior that is demonstrated in the form of self preservation. We began to
reconcile with our demons all of the doubt and panic we had had when considering a chapter in our life
to be sealed shut like a closed book. 'y role was in opening this book with the dream that one day they
may write it for themselves. We began with a very basic observation that came from a very general
discourse on our equality to one another. While some beckoned that there were no ustifiable reasons
why they would not have the same gift of reading material that they were fond of as any one else. (n
the same note there were no more excuses for not committing ourselves to the task. "s we began with a
free association in telling our stories in a very general way. We became closer acquainted with the
literary metaphors that seemed to place our lives in perspective to create a structure. (ur goal for now
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was to acquaint ourselves with the linguistics style that we expressed ourselves with the understanding
that our prior experience had not betrayed our interest in this self preservation.
(ur assertions grew from our benevolence in a way that we felt touched with an emotional
handicap. While we praised the level of our own maturity, we reconciled that if we didn*t use the effort
to understand the human condition then nothing would change. The spoken word had to be enough to
ask questions of each other, to share our view points in a way we felt comfortable with. The discipline
would come in time as we awaited eagerly for the passion we had in telling our stories to disclose the
evidence that we could make use of our fears by applying ourselves to the ob of maintaining self+
awareness. "s we had achieved the result that we sought at some point in the past. Whereby, in utili,ing
this motivational skill, we could show improvement in out strengths and validation that we could rise to
the occasion of answering to that hopelessness that our false expectations would subect us to. In living
with conditions that defined these circumstances as obsolete. We were discussing real experiences that
gave our lives the incentive to move forward, and to carry with us the lessons we learned, that may be
attached to an inner sense of wisdom in perspective and proportion.
In revealing memories of our lost battles, we drew conclusions of where we may have been at
fault. Through argument and agreement, we saw many behavioral patterns that could be defined by the
term ego. (ur voices were raised to the equal misgivings of possessing a masculine or overtly feminine
character trait. This talk proceeded into what I consider to be a quest for knowledge. We needed a
catalyst to transform our emotional investments into the formidable evidence that presents itself
through discussion. We decided to take a common interests in our self awareness this time by
demonstrating through note taking those episodes that may have set us off balance. We were also
examining the effects of having an altered state of mind, being that our reference to personality
conflicts were often one sided and unfairly represented. The end of our class was in agreement that
surely we would gain by removing all of those skeletons we kept buried in the closet, that could reveal
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how our personality traits could be found in the fictional and non+fictional depictions of careful story
telling.
"t our meeting a prevailing concern grew amongst my pupils concerning what had prevented
them from being tolerant of others in the past. The acceptance and appreciation we had of our stock
grew into a whole myriad of accounts of experiences in the formation of the material we gathered. We
soon sought after this material, this formidable background, that presented our experiences as quality
human beings. The belief or taboo that our self+interest was somehow inherent grew into an empty
upheaval of everything we were taught was wrong. It was for our purpose, for the present time, that we
listen to the stories of others as our discussion of inter+woven themes made our table both a forum, and
a conference built on the strengths and weaknesses of identifying with characters in the literary world.
"s we ourselves possessed a very human quality whose nature was intended to think through issues,
and to draw inference from the responses we gathered from others. &o many of our encounters were
based on seeing through the blind side of episodes that may have been the product of ignorance. &elf
righteously we remained at each others disposal to show how our thought patterns, and patterns of
behavior were indicative of a moral posture, that while apropos to our discovery of self indulgent
interests, we may have been kept under developed, and even under nourished of our own intellect.
The moral dilemmas we faced were based on the pretenses that we felt were forbidden to
contradict, and yet these thought patterns derived from a consensus of our small population certainly
were of a universal quality by nature. #ow then should these inferences give rise to voice, and how is
voice so much attuned to the spoken word, and yet something that goes beyond that. 'y group
counseling was not conducted to show right and wrong, but to carefully construct our models of
behavior from which we could derive clear thinking. (ur self examination of cause and effect at this
uncture helped us to elaborate on our self interest, if only in the mode of our self preservation, until
that beacon of light, or should I say that keen interest in self appraisal became indicative of a necessary
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practice. "t which point my student began to examine their characters as all being derived from a point
of departure that was held from within. I retraced that initial intimidation of putting pen to paper, and
asked them to proceed to write their stories, at which a clear account was made of the disappointment
of their giving into the temptation to let the drawbacks of the system govern their actions and
behaviors. 'y class began loosening their chains as their hopes, and their voices were raised in an
effort to live in a world where they could survive. Their incentive to change the world also became
their peorative after carefully constructing insight on what they had seen was in error, while faced with
the drawbacks of having given in too soon.
The /ature vs. /urture theory holds great content for a group that is held under constraint. I
was literally feeding this group material based on their prior knowledge and prior experience. The
cautionary measures they took in concealing what would otherwise be revealed became less of an issue,
as we became open to criticism, while agreement and argument flourished, we observed both the fair
criticism, and what was merely counter productive commenting on our progress. "lmost from out of
nowhere my group began to stand erect and robustly positioned for response, due to the circumstances
of being heard in an open forum. The thought to an emotional integrity restored their self confidence,
as for ust that moment our thoughts became as one, and there became less of a need to circumvent our
anger and fears, as we placed ourselves in the position to benefit by each others experience, and we
began to celebrate the prosaic form of which our lives take shape.
(ur bone was picked. (ur main conflict presented itself as an imposition of character. It was in
finding weaknesses in all those who admired our talent, and the intimidation factor we implemented to
get our way. (ur conflict was in the definition of what it meant to be human. Would some take credit
for this, while others could never make the claim. The standards we had used for self criticism seemed
to dwell in the misconception that we had no reason to give up our fight or flight instincts. What had
passed down from several generation was a progenitor of kill or be killed, the brutal ways which
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condescended our sheer misgivings were never shown to be productive, but retroactive as we used
sheer strength to firm up our position and take advantage.
What the did it mean to be a woman, as the voice from the other side cried out. It was in the
acceptance of this complete fool hardiness that they grew to tolerate being understood or
misunderstood. The depiction of patience as a reputable virtue grew thin in my class, as women could
only account for the weaknesses they had observed in the opposite sex. We are the mothers and
daughters of a great civili,ation, whose needs were met by their very words. While others claimed they
their self confidence bestowed upon them more ingenuity, as men seemed so naturally reliant upon
them for their sensibilities, and sensuality. I could look beautiful until the world had no end, were some
of the comments, but the women saw passed the experience of male domination, and understand that
their concept of wisdom came very much from female circles that they depended upon for insight.
#ow could we make a clear definition of self observation, as a tone ran across the room with a
wish for self forgiveness. The very product of our misgivings had amounted to a sense of pride. We had
demonstrated common sense when the goal was to cast us out of self destruction. There seemed no end
to what we were being asked to admit to. The popularity contest had worn thin. We had better start
moving or give into this harsh indifference. (ur reality was a different story that ran in the depths of
our souls, it was not one of cowardice or envy, but of the calamity of becoming what we had reected,
we had lived on our own self made island of irrational claims. We were no longer advantaged or
disadvantaged. We were alone in a world we never respected, and it was one of reection that lead to a
presiding low moral fiber.
Who then were we as writers, and who were the writers we may like to think of becoming.
1ertainly trace elements of assets ran the course of the vocation. " breed of self confidence, self
assertion, and self expression. What were were our considerations. It didn*t matter, it was the voice that
came from the pit of our gut which asked us to prove ourselves. 2eading and writing became the
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proving ground beyond the recognition of self expressive involvement. It became the test to
demonstrate the use of will that could not keep us in contempt from denial. It was the only achievement
we wished to make, as well as the only contribution. It was the way in which both men and women
came closer to being 4od+like. Writing was the craft that demonstrated the full potential of our being
human, and the integrity of our self awareness as it became self knowledge.
This then was our first orientation that began with what others felt was wrong with our role
modeling. It was the stuff of realistic profit that had no monetary value. (ur orientation proved to us
that we were not alone with our struggles, that to give credence to our voice was a vocation we could
no longer overlook, we felt obligated to use the lessons as a place to let our defenses down, and to
celebrate the beauty of making keen and introspective observations, based on our own strengths as
examples of proper will.
We grew in expectations of advanced comprehension, with one maor comment that we were
not read to as children. What recompense was worthy of my admission and omission of the same
condition. I had had a do,en offspring who had completed college level degrees. The point of the
lessons would be superfluous if we were aiming to find fault in our childhood. 5et that is what we did,
with no explanation needed to be given about the gifts we maintained as our own personal venues. (ur
rite of passage became a discourse on surviving the tempestuous affairs that would deprive us of honor.
'eaning that we had stood up for ourselves, as we welcomed the voice of reason that would suspend
our ust cause with open arms.
The voice of reason was delivered on terms that were acceptable. We began looking into our
own heroism, and our own mythology with a means to expressing pride. We had all felt given to
situations and circumstances that would mean we owed no apology. The direction of the course was
fairly administered in that we did not have to meet the high expectations that were placed on us to
unravel irrational and useless rhetoric. I believe the theme that ran most dearly in our work, was that we
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had each accomplished a long term goal that we had set for ourselves, our interest now was to allow
this temperance to branch out into all avenues of our self seeking. We must find that focal center where
our lives unite as one. We had all had characters we felt we had aspired to, from The 7rince of
8arkness, to The 7rince of Thieves, yet our writing who we were at this point if for no other reason
than for self identification gave us the headway, to show us how much concerned with self we actually
were. The stories of self achievement gave us the purpose of categori,ing our experience that were
internal and eternal. The voice of the past drew no mistake. /obody was actually asking us to
apologi,e for our behavior, nor was it in our interest to do so. The firm appraisal of self authori,ation
was beginning to demonstrate how we are creators and also "uthors of our own affairs, by the account
and virtue, of how much we concealed, and how much we revealed, given the light of circumstances
and what we felt we expected of ourselves at the time.
9rom the written material we had gathered, we had begun to awaken to the spiritual principles
of which we had tried to attain. (ur incantations drew deeply from our past those reflections we
believed as sanctimonious and without restraint. We felt our egos did reveal the knowledge that we
have our own lives to live. The material we used was strengthened by a plot summary and the
recollection of what had motivated our actions. :y understanding some of our fore bearers who also
had sought to be educated. We felt we our guidance and discipline had taken us to this point of origin.
We had seen the virtue of good and evil, and we had found we told the stories of our falling some
where in between. We could imitate 4ods but we were not 4od. (ur own accounts of our errors proved
this, and yet the wheels were turning as we discussed setting and theme, our imaginations took us to
place ourselves in familiar territory. We could not allow others to steer us wrong at this point, we had to
get this out, and understand these guiding principles as indicative of our own behavior. The precepts we
ascribed to had to contain personal influence, as our affluence was shared by those whose experience
with their trials and tribulations had made them think of ourselves in ways nobody else knew. We were
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the guiding principles of our actions, we only had to implement the right use of udgment in
communicating this to others.
(ur first contributions were of the ordinary time that dis spelled our doubts. The displacements
of fears of reection took on non presuming sides of our emotional integrity. (ne student could not
overlook that he was under the influence of a spell, as the setting he depicted was in light of how he
overcame these driving evil spirits. We had not chosen the life we lived for ourselves, but we were
choosing those experiences in which there was a trace of humanity to steer us in the direction of our
own truth. The messages were not so high and mighty, they were of the preponderance of having a
great many and varied feelings. (ur characters were of second nature, they were comprised of
everything others would have us believe, and that element of truth that we wished to conform to. We
were having our own spiritual lifting, when at the dawn of time we had embodied a corporeal claim to
our ustified human nature. The irony was that these characters had short comings of reection, due to
the circumstances that placed them at a disadvantage. We were not going to give in, for our characters
to achieve victory they must have an understanding of virtue and vice. The only call of action that was
given as our responsibility was to follow through, and to have this depiction of our self worth be the
bedrock upon which we could build monuments of great influence. (ur message was clear that since
our adventure had begun we must come to term with these doubts if we were going to learn what
attributes to our becoming self respecting and dignified. The progenitor of man was very much our
stories, as we decided to lay it on the level, and show that even heroes must endure extreme tolerance
and hardship of which was understood.
(ur dream was one of inter+relatedness, and one of attachment. It was one of atonement and one
of a confessional. The emotional side of our development had been cast us in a shadow of immaturity.
The circumstances we faced head on had betrayed us. (ur goal was to use this inner conflict that had
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perpetuated from a self ustified position to understand the intention of "uthors, the manner in which
they allude to the truth, and their depiction of reason that did not contradict our role in society. (ur
dream was to write lyrically, and with versatility, to sing the muse that had but on the edge of our lips.
We welcomed anyone who showed favoritism to $iterary scholarship, as our stories within stories
revealed that man kind was imperfect. Where then did we go wrong in our account of the human
condition, 7erhaps by accepting the thought that we unequivocal in our hardened position, yet we
could not claim that the arrogance of writers was ours to make. The thought that our lives were too
short, and had to be addressed as we were right at this moment in reach of all of our material. 'y
position was that we ought to reconcile with this indifference, and practice the basics of grammatical
writing. (ur style of storytelling was now made apparent, we now had to communicate and voice this
auspicious quality that made us into the creator*s of the written page, and thus of our own destinies.
(ur challenge as the next rite of passage came in the form of turning a thoughtless reection of
emotion, into a thoughtful testimony of our own needs and self care. #ow to be supportive of those
whose roles was so eloquently related to their being a public figure. This began with the admission that
our intended purpose was never reali,ed. To begin to attend to our needs of self preservation, and to
focus on a train of thought became my only ambition and sole purpose in leading the group, as we were
beginning, with clarity to assess each others intent and voice in writing. We observed strengths and
weaknesses of character, and mind that were not always self evident. This sheer use of the will was an
iron clad proposition with a caution, that we needed to adhere to, and prepare for our understanding to
demonstrate humble service of the spoken, the written word, and the listening ear. This we attributed to
with the highest regard as we began to ask questions of the evidence that helped our experiences to
grow and take root. 9amily support was one theme we each touched on, while understanding our
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ambivalence in making such progress was another. "s we became witnesses of each others testimony
an unspoken peace came about the room. " peace that revealed our being prophetic as well as wise in
regards to our discernment of how much we would either reveal or conceal.
9or our group purpose, mankind was fallible. This was an issue that needed to be addressed and
amended before we could claim we showed integrity as writers. 5et, how could we defend ourselves
against the tirade of whirling emotion, having been backed into a corner by our worst enemies. "s
concern for this matter grew on dependency we had to organi,e out thought for them to construct an
orientation. This began an in depth look to give rise to the voice of an inner child who saw matters
clearly and innocently. If man was fallible how would we begin to address these wrongs. #ow then
would we take up our crosses with defense in regards to the sin of his own omission. This was our
sensitive corner, that did not account for our acquired knowledge= this was the air, water, and food that
helped man become creator of his own destiny. 'ankind some agreed will never equal the works of an
omnipotent and unseen power and voice. 5et, mankind will continue to be the creators for which all
understanding is met. #ow then would we yarn through what was so clearly indicative as proof, and
transform it into a creation of our own demise. The presence was less mystifying as we in the group
possessed the skill to alliterate and decipher our motives with the proofs of our own account. It was in
this delivery that we enacted the role of skilled craftsmanship who could demonstrate that we had been
in control of our self will and ego. It was this stuff with which all man were made, to be the living
creation and testimony of that which he attributed to his integrity, honor and privilege, as spoken and
fashioned so eloquently in words as his prosaic interest would desire.
In order to achieve the results we sought in drawing conclusion, there had to be a motivation
that was free of inhibition. The quality of life which we pursued was one that gave precedence to those
thoughts and ideas which were achieved to reach a common good. The moral fiber that seemed to
resonate with the most strength was one of a dismissal of the ustification of our victimi,ation. The
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more we accepted phrases like >being sick and tired of being sick and tired,? the more we understood
our intolerance of irrational proposals. The human heart sings of it*s mystery to less obvious heroes
who make us saddened and feel oy. The quality of life was one of victory over the self defeating voice
that helped us to accept failure. While it was in acceptance of all the conditions that made us
individuals. The harmony in rising above the digression of an impoverished heart, lyrically addressed
the fundamental principle of our becoming better acquainted with each other, and our own disposition.
This acquaintanceship perhaps was the stringing together of voice of those who sought to aspire to the
real conviction that we were all masters of our fate, meaning we would have to do twice the work that
most of us had already gone through.
'ore in terms of the muse in which these voices did carry in harmony. We drew further from
our conclusions about the quality of the souls, and the moral fiber that would consist of the essence of
life. The emotional integrity that comprised so much of our determination were one of self expression,
and taking a risk at disclosing personal issues for the sake of it*s positive effect and influence. To say it,
a real romance and passion had to be developed with our use of words. The spoken and written phrase
was there to commiserate this experience that we would otherwise be afraid of, as I found myself
leading us out of a tunnel of darkness to enter that chink of light as a saving grace of our own humanity.
In fact the essence of life was found in our ability to reoice and celebrate the sensuous pleasure that
made our stories unique and gave call to reoice in our individuality. We were expecting little, but the
pay off was great, as our ust rewards for being keepers of our souls, showed the generous description
of a wide range of feelings, that bordered on anger, fear, sadness, loneliness, displeasure and pleasure.
Two unique voices were heard the loudest. The first being of a brotherhood that only spoke
from experience. 'ore difficult as it became to penetrate the intellect, the maturity of this union,
seemed at ease with finding fault in others. We put our minds and hearts together for this chorus, as a
general consensus agreed that we must feel pain to learn from our being human. That we must learn
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from our mistakes, but not from what comes easily. :y holding the hand of, and holding to the light,
the times a student tried to prove a point, but felt weakness rise by his own misfortune, we discovered
something special about our thoughts and actions, that it was we who were willing to take the risks.
This implied to that it was we who also had to pay the consequences for our states of mind, and the
conduct of placing our needs above everything else, with the understanding that being of service is the
process of learning about ourselves, by listening to others.
In addition, a feminist voice made clear that their incentive was to face denigration, of all
superficial circumstance that deprived them of feeling self worth. That masculinity never delivered
what it promised since that was not the intention of those who rise above their agreements as
scapegoats. The essence of life was not in the charm, but in the spirit of a mix of maternal nature and
nurture of it. The clear thinking of preparedness made the rational inquiry one of which great testimony
was spoken of. The contributions of those who upheld the virtue of offering praise for a ob well done,
was in itself all of the respect and pride that one could hope to achieve. The advancement of the
student*s intellect depended on the examples heard of conflict resolution by our feminist voice.
(ur group was forming a permeable membrane, and a common bond. "lmost through osmosis
was the intuition that we ourselves had set on the course of our going human. The feeling of appraisal
was built on encountering our intuitions, as we did not ustify or offer opinions of what we observed in
one another, bust gave rise to the circumstances that had helped us to redefine our gifts, talents, and
skills. "t this point the learning disabled were truly the gifted and talented learners who could account
for the tasks they had achieved, with or without the need to convince others of their appropriateness.
(ur common sense was earning our diplomacy as it was based on the very merit of our using the
@nglish language. We had discovered for ourselves, in doing this that we had, or were given the skills
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to communicate effectively exactly what that calling was to show versatility in our approach to learning
literacy. While the method seemed to come from a long discussion that was based on inductive and
deductive reasoning.
We stood at the proving grounds. (ur inquiry into progress made us ask the question if our use
of @nglish was now reliable. Were we reassured that we could describe in detail the character strengths
that comprised of our personalities. Were we able to resolve issues by describing the cause and effect of
events of our past. 1ould we rely on the reassurance that we had acquired knowledge, and skill from
the intent to relate on the written page those dramatic episodes that were most relevant in our
experience. Was our @nglish a resources for our bravery and courage, that we could utili,e as a means
of transferring emotion of our departure into risk taking and meeting challenges. The answer invariably
was up to our own incentive as to the method in which we would use our communication to become
"uthors of a fine diction.
(ur discussion transferred to the symbolic, and the idolatry that we were smashing. :y giving
all our power to a solid obect we had dismissed the opportunity for understanding and compassion.
#ow then would our skill in writing these passages account for our moral disposition, that we believed
in humanity, but were placed in a position of denial due to our own undertaking. The self assurance that
we had come close to in acceptance of conditions was our starting point and ultimate goal. Who could
we say contradicted that we maintained the ability to learn from others the nature of our own calamity.
We based our self inquiry not on the idols for which we used to under mine our progress, but on the
prudence that we were working and being taught about dignity, by hearing criticism of each other in a
way that would help us to explore and discover fresh avenues of insight. It was in this that we felt the
perfection of an imperfect being, which pointed to our own self appraisal as individuals.
(ur departure lead to a letting go of a misconception, and perception. We quickly saw how we
should direct our focus on places were the quality of our life was appreciated. This almost near fatal
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encounter with reection had to be addressed before we were to pick up the torch, and stop carrying our
agony like a doormat for others to stand on. We were in eopardy of losing our faith to a ,ealous
intention. We did not have to accept this indignation that sought to compromise our integrity. (ur
discussion turned to the blind, and when we felt we had been duped, by subecting ourselves to
conditions that we did not relate to. When really we were asking for help we were shown a manner of
compromise that did not warrant our making progress. We were at a stalemate, and had to search
deeply for the resolution as to whom should take this responsibility. It was ours by fair acquisition, so
we had to work with our linguistic skills to construct in our lives, a shield of wisdom that would prove
to be our honor.
:y our own determinations we concluded that our problems erupted with community and
society. With society we had our day of becoming pawns of the game. With community we knew of no
other experience other than deeply seeded competition. We defended our right not to live in a fantasy.
(ur preconceived notions of who wanted what for the sake of desire did not hold water. There were
times when we enoyed being in a losing battle since those were the conditions we were accustomed to.
We could not place our understanding of self awareness on third parties who compromised our
individual assets. &till while the water was boiling we encountered our set of values, and our set of
values that were not meant to be understood as humor. (ur need to determine for ourselves the progress
of our human conduct based on a moral system became indicative of how much progress we were
willing to make. The choice was ours, do we proceed like a steam engine annihilating everything that
stood in our way, or do we proceed with the sound udgment that moral values are based on human
conduct. (ur roles in how we perceived the decision making process depended on our insight as to how
to amend our indifference to a great deal of what discredited our motive for success.
To phrase it as an argument, the very elements we felt ashamed of, we could view as the
perception that others had of themselves who did not practice such prudence. Those who live by the
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sword die by the sword. We determined the source that set up this imbalance to come from a human
disposition of insecurity, since we could not account for the expectations that others had of us. We
would be believing in lies if every account of our personality defects were taken personally. "s we
found this forgiveness of our selves with no excuses as to our motives, we could forgive at least the
circumstances we came into conflict with.
&ince we have developed a careful understanding of the fundamentals of our own oppression. It
is essential here to discuss our suppression and repression as the psycho+dynamic the represented the
obstacle in our achieving results. To contradict each statement that came our way, by forming a
negative response to that which was almost universal, was not in our interest. "lmost as with taboo we
were held in custody to reect any argument that contradicted our common sense. To understand that to
be motivated we had a drive and an incentive to meet this persecutor of our reasons to confirm our
passionate and expressive nature. We had to find the real oy, in our lives, our maturity, and our desires.
We could not ust work at tasks like slaves that were devoid of meaning. (ur discussions opened up the
possibility of living passionate lives. (ne that experienced both love and war, and one that was not
necessarily subect to right and wrong. (ur goal was to use this possession of desire and fulfillment,
and this need to attain it, to fine tune it from a place of subectivity, so that we could show to the group
that being emotional was an aspect of our character traits that drew our actions closer to the life we had
imagined for ourselves. We could no longer exclude human emotion, as a great ,eal took over that
made us view our desires, not only as something that must be shared but something that must come into
our portfolio of writing material, that was based on images, proections and a clarity in our aim of what
we had been trying to achieve.
&till we felt weakened by the thought of those we had hurt. When a verdict of guilty was spelled
as clean as day. We felt deprived of the subliminal infatuations that sought new attractions and new
passions. This fear then began as an inhibition, one that taught us that masculine and feminine charm
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was held by it*s resilience to emotion. #ow then could we become fluent in @nglish as a new found
language of love. We began by introducing in agreement those commonalities we held in identification.
If having been overtly misunderstood for the time we could afford others, while our own interest were
proofs of our being self centered and egocentric. Then this suppression of our passions had completed
it*s aim. We asked if beauty was something in and of itself. &ome felt the integrity of the group as a
forum of discussion contained a beauty. (thers saw the value in learning lessons of cause and effect to
contain it*s own virtue and beauty. &ome even viewed the consequences of actual intimacy to be a
beauty they would never wish to be removed. We knew beauty by it*s forming of unions in partnership.
:y an instinctual agreement, the group was asked if there was one great truth that took
supremacy over all the rest. It was then we started forming our own meditation, on attraction, affection,
eternity, passion, and love. The purpose was to remove the toxins of our guilt to show to my class that
we had attempted to construct whole lives based on profound images and thoughts. The inter+action
grew less in competition, and more open to thoughts of peace, freedom, equality and ustice. " member
of the class commented on how there truly was a love supreme. To point to a topic we discussed who
was responsible for suppressing our emotions. "fter several attempts at looking at punishment as a
crime in itself, or the make up of the system, and the fear of self+expression. We admitted that we did
not understand these emotions, since we had never taken action to understand their effects at others. It
was in this class that many of our first poetic attempts to find the meaning of love transpired. &ome said
it was pure, some said it was learned in our youth, almost all agreed that true love was such a powerful
experience that we could never owe an apology for it.
In reading a few passages on the fountain of youth, and one on a secret but potent elixir, we
agreed we wanted the feeling never to end. In a non+udgmental way they regarded their own inhibition
of sexuality as a compromise that was incomplete. I speculated we may have been seeing that when one
person believes that they are 4od, that this ego+centric behavior involves the world gravitating
16.
towards, and around them. "s we sought to express ourselves less in the form of magical experiences
we started to understand the initiation rites that seemed indicative of each sexual relationship. The
phobia of having to conform to celibacy in our repression we viewed as a mild form of castration.
In light of the fact that we were were understanding the deep phenomenon of what is inferred by our
seeking pleasure.
'an*s victories and setbacks could be seen in resolving conflicts through a power struggle. The
interest in wishing to dominate a given situation or a third party was not alien to us. The individual
brings to society a blank slate, and a self interest in correcting his mistakes. "s individuals our views of
society may have been altered by the tirade of forces that drew us further into rebellion. 1ould it be
said that to create stereo types, or create conversation of our flowing uices explained how each of us
became culprit*s based on the error of our ways. It was enough to say we had satisfied a role in the way
our lives took form, yet to engage in society to win the cash and pri,es was mistaken for a game. We
confessed we were defeated by our reection of moral udgment, but this did not preclude our view that
society makes waste of human integrity. It ust meant that our priorities were else where when asked to
provide evidence as to the contributing factors of our own enterprise, or even investment in the value of
our own efforts.
We could understand the sin of chastisement, and biased circumstances which oppressed our
brothers and sisters, but we could not afford the rationali,ation that we were getting what we deserved.
The life styles that we viewed with an amoral disposition took the form of how crime was easy, and
how organi,ed crime perpetrated all acts of rebellion. We were not as easily defined by the lyrics of a
song, or what the group classified as poster boys who were blessing the public with a new lie about the
lives of the rich and famous. (ur roles in society had to be distinct.
'ost of us defended the fact that we had a clean, careful, and meticulous upbringing. That we
were able to establish premises that understood right and wrong, and that these securities be they of
1;.
ealousy or envy, pride or deceit were well within our grasp of our own experience. &o then what
statement of values did we wish to contribute% 7erhaps it was one of giving into soon., or of the
misguided principle that had clearly shown how others who were esteemed with as much if not more
potential were as likely to digress and take the wrong path. (ur views were of pride primarily that we
could survive even the bureaucracy that we felt was oppressive, and we could survive those who
burned away at their future until it had disintegrated. What hopes then did we have of learning new
skills.
In fact the skills we were learning were vital to our communication practice of discussions.
We were seeing that our self pity had been planted there by those who sought to take advantage. We
had resolved our issue with a white collar dispute that meant you were working for a paycheck. We let
down our guard and for once, and we no longer needed to be super men and women. (ur roles as
individuals in society would not necessarily imply that we had won the battle without even thinking
about others. It would imply that we could raise the level of what we considered to be intelligible
standards. &o that issues of racism, sexism, and the conscious awareness of stereotyping could be seen
at a level of observation and take into account the disregard for humanity that we tried to pursue in our
groups. It was the appreciation of characteri,ation that we tried to employ, not the humor in the
idiosyncrasies by assaulting ones vulnerabilities.
We could define our happiness then not so much as a gift of our finding pleasure in popularity,
but as the accomplishment of having understood the conditions of a given situation and circumstance,
and our ability to draw inference from the evidence provided, in order to learn from our own self
assessment, how to proceed in a manner to help establish our own edification. We were not practicing
turning the other cheek to be hit twice as hard. In fact we were seeing how we had taken humor and
stock in ignorance. The communication skills we were learning were not merely of being open, honest,
and willing. It was our first attempts at being self critical in addressing those we influenced, and those
!<.
we were influenced by. It was the first time we did not owe an apology for believing in ourselves, and
that our experiences were valid, and self evident of the fact that we viewed our lives from a standpoint
of self respect.
(n a reading of >The "pology of &ocrates,? :y 7lato, to my @nglish discussion group, we heard
with open ears how a great leader was being tried by thousands of citi,ens for questioning a theological
state. &ocrates claim was that the will of 4od was to do good, and to seek pleasure in self attainment.
That education was this highest good, and the acquisition of knowledge to be the end that consumes all
of man*s affairs. The group listened patiently with inquiring ears, and asked themselves if their trust in
4od was to include, or evade the subect of learning. #ow does one become a Teacher to a state this
large, and find he has to excuse himself with a life sentence for trusting that insight was the will of
4od.
'y @nglish class was in a moral disarray as to questions of the value of knowledge. (ne voice
stemmed out from the others that so often he was expected to understand what he was told based on the
premise of the source in which it came. (ur experiences were filled with an overwhelming feeling of
threat that if we did not apply ourselves to studying a great punishment would come our way. 5et how
were we ourselves like &ocrates, by teaching others the skills that were based on the disposition that
they come from a god given talent. (ur answers were many fold, the skill of @ducation reaches a vital
influence that helps us to adapt all of our actions to suit our needs. This self interest then is conducted
with an aim in mind of improving our general well fare and our condition of self will. That to be taught,
or to be teachable was an act of sheer patience, it was the willingness that prevailed when we found that
!1.
our solitary acts of righteousness did not achieve the results we sought. It was the fact that there was no
rational apology that could be made for instructing others on learning principles, at which point
&ocrates surrendered to the state and accepted his punishment.
What was the state of rational thinking that &ocrates had mentioned% 1learly defined as an
approach to understanding the nature of the elements that are in our nature. The rational mind we
accepted was one that did not have to resort to escapism, crime, of violence. It was one that
transcended all claims on how one should conduct their affairs. It was above insult, and the denigration
of those we felt persecuted by, by their taking advantage of our disadvantage. The rational mind was
our restitution that we could complete the premise from which notions were found on the likeness of
man to 4od. It was the understanding that our rational mind comprised of a spirit in which all energy
prevailed, and that as living beings our responsibility to educate our minds was an act of appreciation
for the body and soul that were given by 4od.
(ur trial with being Teachers opened up a different experience, being that our world of
resources had amounted to very little. (ur clear thinking was addressed by the problems we faced to
conforming to a society that depreciates the moral disposition that would help us to learn from our
experience. There was no easy solution to why we felt more punished by ignorance rather than the
interaction amongst members of our community and society who supported our reasoning in advancing
our ability to grasp notions and concepts to derive meaning from them. The end result was one of
believing innocence to excuse that irrational thinking that we had no one to help us find an outlet for
our intellect. It was clear that our development was in persistent battle with trial and error, that made all
attempts seem futile, and the recourse helpless.
To our understanding then it was the sheer envy and ealousy which in &ocrates case was met as
an act of rebellion that stood in the way of seeking refuge in what would prove to be a higher good. We
had to understand the value of the aims of our discussions if we were going to put away that old
!!.
foolishness and idle time that made every man a dreamer. We could not seek the acceptance of
conditions that isolated even our own intuition, and still feel we had arrived at a safe haven. The ability
to understand points being made about the departure one has to be brave enough to endure, to impart on
his fellow man the rudiments in which all fundamental needs are based on cohesion, and
comprehension helped us to abandon the old myths, that the state defended against &ocrates. That being
compliant was an end to itself where as it merely served the purpose and function of each member of
society oining in to enact a role.
Who stood at the pedestal that we could not step up to. "mongst our overture of retention, our
sorrow was of being both blessed and cursed, the day the music died. Would we not be able to account
for human error, given the trials and tribulations of seeing man in the image of his creator. The fear we
could no longer overcome, was that we were not provided with the tools to meet our experience with
the self knowledge that all things being equal, our priorities were not of one to give ourselves to an
understanding of human nature. The choices we had made were whimsical, and based on defect and
deficiencies. The trials and tribulations of own dismissal of the task at hand created a block that we
would not penetrate, as a kind of forbearance stood in the way of our aim in what we had set out to
accomplish.
What then did we have left to hold to the light. "n inspired motive to achieve tasks, that could
only be defined by a self righteousness that we did not posses. Was it not human to see the error of his
ways and make amendments to hold himself accountable. The muse we had so direly believed in gave
way to a glass that was half empty. What of the upstanding ridicule of the propaganda given to society.
1ould we not walk away from the tears of recourse to competition without forfeiting what had been an
initial acquisition.
!).
What then was the emotional motivation for staring into a blank slate, and having nothing but
resentment for the inability to resolve conflicts. Was a man of a thousand face more agile in his trickery
of what presented itself as character development. What of the manipulation based on personal records,
and of he who held us accountable for the unustified sifting of thousands who grew in potential. Were
we not on trial ourselves, for choosing a hardcore passion that set us deeply into paranoia. Why could
we not take up a written passage and see the redeeming quality of it*s merits based on avirtue. The more
persistent question was how long were we going to find fault in those who did not view our
accomplishments as divinely inspired. What selfishness had to be overturned, before we could see that
efforts when properly motivated were virtuous. #ow were we going to keep finding fault in the belief
of others that took precedence in their own motivations.
Who did we expect to clean up our mess of our own choice to drop out. #ow we would wail in
depression holding the world accountable for our sin. Who then could we turn to with such questions as
the interdisciplinary method of finding value in self awareness that was based on a practice of self
perception. Who were we trying to bluff when the tables turned and we had lost at the game of deceit%
(ur motive had to resort to reevaluating our conscience accredit of being a philosopher. To see
man as an image of 4od meant understanding the will could be turned to the use of good orderly
conduct. We had to stop this victimi,ing role of being deprived of the tools to show the proper use of
the will. It was our labor to hold in regard those Teachings that revealed the epiphany than human
nature is one that resolves conflict by reaching a solution. We had to adopt the practice of making
problem solving a psychological value that we could ascribe to a cognitive skill. #ow bitterly we had
dismissed the teaching of the intellect. #ow persistently we tried to change the value of an honor
system to one that was given to an abandonment of self respect.
To understand the value of understanding that the process of learning is open to self
questioning, and to questioning our motives. We had to look past the mortification of the dead, and turn
!-.
over a new leaf of pessimism and optimism, while we could rely on the contrition that spoke to us in a
soft voice that would reinforce that the benefit of learning is a gift of human nature that brings him
closer to his own redemption.
The wasted time of appealing for someone to take care of our problems for us. The naivety of
looking to an all knowing source of all of our indemnities had to be abolished. It self reliance meant
nothing more than understanding the difference between good and evil, I asked the group to look at
their own actions that were based on cause and effect, and to show us by providing evidence how the
results they had achieved had miraculously brought on this resolution, but was also part of a two sided
coin which required that further action be taken to align our motivation with this practice of self
questioning.
In my teaching of "dult $iteracy in a day treatment program, the setting was quite different
from what would be teaching a class in a university. The priorities were different, while many came to
show up for mental health and did not relate to the literary discussion as their own fundamental need. I
had to take a moment while preparing the class to organi,e the questions differently. The assault on
character and the conflicts that had placed on in this facility attributed to a great deal of the
undermining of our character. 2ather than posing a question as to what purpose there is in achieving the
highest good. I had to ask questions about our moral bankruptcy. If the were no lessons to be learned,
and if our moral values had been eliminated. I had to evaluate from which point of departure we could
begin to see exactly what happened, what the situation had been, and what the results of our actions
amounted to.
Would a lesson on direct and indirect pronouns be as vital in this setting, or did we need to take
a look at, and take inventory in our own responsibility. 9rom what we had learned from the institutions
of corrections, were we anything but naAve, and ignorant who could not understand the way our own
minds worked. 9or the class of discussion I asked what the value was in seeing that their point of view,
!..
if it meant establishing a basis in which their will could conform to taking steps in the right direction.
That their understanding of sound moral reasoning maybe all that it took to understanding their role in
the actions that followed their behavior. We could not change the past, we could not bring the living
back from the dead. Taking into consideration who we believed would set an example of what rational
thinking could achieve, and yet seeing the results of the misfortune of this prodigy, we had to ask
ourselves by what understanding could we achieve a rational reference point from which to begin our
own footwork into literary and literacy accredited value.
(ur misapprehension in false predictions in regards to whom were going to become our
teachers, again left us with the determination that we had misudged the self assertions that there were
those who were cut out for academics while others were not. With whom then could we not find guilt,
we had to assess this measure of guilt and remorse for feeling like the slaves who were set free with out
any moral ground from which to construct a life. We had no claim as to the teaching we followed since
the recourse into false determinations had proved that we had carried out our will for vengeance by
taking our motives too far. We sat amongst each other disappointed once again that we had to begin
even our lessons on success and failure with a blank slate, since there were no longer others who could
set the example that we were convinced would be provided, in spite of our attempts to stand in their
way. "t this point we had successfully defeated our own purpose, and we had to think directly about
our own moral view point in questioning what were we trying to achieve in learning @nglish.
I asked the class to describe the loss.?We have nothing to lose but our chains? I continued. Who
or what did we have left to believe in what were the positive and negative consequences of taking
matters into our own hands. 8id we belong confined to single bed with the treatment of corrections that
promised we could never achieve freedom. The question began a discussion on what our victimi,ation
felt like, when going back to our treatment from our parents, and even the treatment they received.
1ould we still believe in inspiration knowing that what happens is how our difficulty in organi,ing our
!0.
thoughts made it increasingly difficult to survive even rehabilitation. The point is we grew in equality
in seeing the varying episodes in which an authority figure or role determined the result of what had
been our actions. We saw so clearly that we were taking our first steps of powerlessness for the first
time, all over again. We had to be able to cooperate in a tone of setting priorities that would include that
we could demonstrate a proper use of the will. 9or our purpose at this point the interaction must
continue, but to re+evaluate the questions I was asking I began asking if they had an ability to grow, and
develop when their freedom was removed from them. "t this point I saw very clearly that our need to
establish a sense of values that was based on humanity was a very real need of mankind, and not one
that could be determined by being convinced that there were others who showed promise, but who
aroused negative discourse. We began to reveal the horror of being left without a soul. I saw for the
first time that it was my responsibility to fill this huge hole that had placed us in a position of disbelief.
Imperative to the points we were making, we needed to assess and understand learning. What
was this concept of learning, and what did it refer to by definition. We didn*t know. In our struggle to
relate to this concept we began by asking if the concept of learning was based on building ideas. That
by assimilating our thinking we could work together to achieve a framework for which task
achievement was possible. Was learning a concept that was based on the opening of doors, meaning
that our reading skills could help us to understand cultural differences, and provide insight into
personality conflicts. Were we to resume at our desk with the flow of points being made to grasp
concept that were universal. It seemed our final goal was to provide philosophical insight in which we
could string together these artifacts of insight and intuition to show with scholarship that our humanity
depends on understanding the intellect. 5et this was not quite our experience in achieving the goals we
had accomplished in the field of literacy.
1ould we the say we were faced with notions. &ome of which were inherently correct while
other were clearly mistaken. What of beliefs, could we sit back and udge each other on account of our
!3.
beliefs by pointing out that the logic of ascribing human nature as a political animal, as a fact that we
were faced to reconcile with. 1ould we assimilate all of our opinions to form a single statement that
summari,ed our whole view and outlook on global issues. Was it then to be said that there was indeed
that person who could explain a more logical truth, whereby his reasoning could not be disputed with to
be met with fallacy. What then were the morals that could be proven or accepted. (ur group decided it
was not our way of thinking that was in error, yet we did answer the question that learning is an integral
fundamental characteristic of human beings. 5et found fault in the answer that someone had an answer
to our state of condition that made more sense, and was based on a logical conclusion of generali,ing
human experience.
The concept of learning was then to include our human interaction, in which one member
voices the tone of human understanding. That to account for all things being relevant to a moral
disposition, we had to account for our udgment in setting priorities, and our capacity to express
genuine emotion that reveal our inner nature, and our human spirit. 5et this being based on a more
metaphysical state of experience, we could not define intelligence or the assimilation of concepts, to be
accredited to the superstition, or concepts of self righteous indignation. 5et we could agree that we
learn from each other those concepts for which we could not frame a clear understanding. It was the
potential to show our integrity by developing insight based on this understanding. 5et we could not
clearly define learning as a spirit or taboo some of which should not be understood by personality
types. (ur conclusion was that the voice of reason had to be based on the ability to form clear concepts
that included the whole of human experience.
$earning than as defined was the ability to reason intelligibly utili,ing our thoughts, intuition,
creativity, expressions, and motivations. That a clarity that is developed by the illumination of its
integrity clearly shows the potential to understand a direct application in forming solutions. That while
we could not ascribe the concept of learning to any single pedagogical aim, we could understand as the
!6.
process in which our behavior, out thought process and our reasoning are understood by a recognition,
and reinforcement of the patterns of behavior that were mental, physical, emotional, and psychological.
That somehow the decisive factor that was included in our learning had to be set by human experience
as tangible evidence, that to ascribe this order to rational thoughts there had to be demonstrations and
examples that were highly inferential, in which our thought patterns could adapt to an applied
reasoning. (ne that was inclusive of the lesson learned, and that demonstrated points of evidence. The
potential to learn as demonstrated by 8escartes had to be based on the fact that we were human beings.
That the understanding of stages of development had to be reconciled with in order to form questions in
which we could reach our own solutions. This meant that as an action, the act of learning precluded our
own understanding of human potential in a way in which we could raise the level of human insight so
that we could make sense of it. :y it*s own inert value the act of learning was sensible and practical,
since it develops by the vital needs of human beings to grow and develop.
(n a trip to the 1ountee 1ullen branch of the /ew 5ork 7ublic $ibrary on 1)0
th
street and
$enox "ve. We began our trip at the program by completing a worksheet on the books we would like to
read. Why we felt this was a relevant reference, and why we felt the 7ublic $ibrary was a resource that
was both reliable and valid. We piled onto a bus, and came in as a group, as we were welcomed by a
tour guide who was there to introduce herself to my "dult $iteracy group. &he asked what we were
studying as they all replied books, as she discussed the central relevance and importance of why, and
how the 7ublic $ibrary serves it*s community, and who is welcome to make use of it. Buestions came
from the group, if tutoring was available, and if the $ibrary was a resource for studying for 1ivil
&ervice @xams. The Tour 4uide explained that the $ibrary provides many educational programs that
reading and writing for literacy was one of the main obectives of providing the services, and enriching
one*s experience in the public sector of our city*s cultural heritage community was another reason why
author*s and patrons would come together to read their work at The /ew 5ork 7ublic $ibrary.
!;.
We were first shown the computer area, where it was explained that the school curriculum now
operates with full use of the computer, and that students make use of the 7ublic $ibrary more than ever
by completing their technology based assignments. It was also explained that many ob applications
were now on the Web, and that to be hired one had to sit at a computer to post their resume to an
employer. 5et technology itself was the main scope of how $ibraries have most recently come together
to serve their community as all people who take their work from home to study references that relate to
their work, were using the computers in the $ibrary as a resource to develop their skills in working
towards their goals.
&till one student of mine was explaining that he finds technology based skills difficult because
his reading habits were too under developed that he liked reading books because it gave him a sense of
time and space, and helped him to adust his moods to the employment of being involved in his area of
interest, and the books he read. We were then taken through the "frican "merican collection that had
relevant resources on all fiction and non+fiction types. " student replied that this type of material
interests him the most in furthering his reading skills, since he could relate to the text based on his prior
experience. "s we walked through the entire downstairs we were shown the chart of all the different
subects of study that the $ibrary has as a resource, and how the books are shelved by category, and
that it was possible to ask a $ibrarian for a recommendation in reading material that is relevant to one*s
own interest. It was then explained that the reference books could be used to study for exams such as
the 4raduating @quivalency, and 1ivil &ervice exams.
The tour guide took us upstairs to show us the new bilingual sections that was collecting books
in different languages. &he explained that the books were being supplemented by a kind of $anguage
$ab that they were developing where one could listen to both the text and the translation by listening to
the "udio books that were offered for instruction. 'any of my students spoke &panish with a basic
)<.
understanding of it*s literal meaning. The $ibrarian explained that bilingual classes in @nglish as a
&econd $anguage were being offered to the community because of it*s maor native &panish speaking
community. The question came from the group if being a student of @nglish as a &econd $anguage is at
all limiting of the resources that would be available to them. While they were compelled to defend the
authentic #ispanic 1ultural heritage they would feel that the resources they had ust seen may also be
in their interest and that they would like to learn @nglish Csage from a broader perspective. 'any
people learn to read and write in both $anguages using the $anguage $ab, and while the answer was
certainly no they would not be anymore limited in any way by the resources as an @&$ student, the
$anguage $ab provided scholarly readers which by recommendation could help them progress in their
translatable skills more rapidly than attempting to pick up material at random.
"s we were leaving the $ibrary, and thanked the Tour 4uide we made note of the #istory
section and the section on "merican 4overnment, as I confirmed that much of the material that I used
to generate discussion in our groups came from #istorical experiences, our experience with
8emocracy, and the struggle for 1ivil 2ights that produced so many great philosophical thinkers.
The class came together in our discussion of the quality of life. I explained to them that some of
the topics for discussion implemented archetypes, and themes of storytelling which have been utili,ed
since our cultural heritage ancestry began. I posed the question if life was good or bad. &ome felt it was
all good, some felt it was a mixture of both. (ur universal agreement was that we share common
experiences was a good starting point for what makes us individuals. (ur past was not our enemy. We
agreed that our prior experiences and knowledge qualified us in a shared experience to some degree in
)1.
the things that would make our lives complete. @ach of us had had experiences leading to victimi,ation,
yet when our discussion turned the theme of having a broken heart, there was gratitude for the
understanding they developed while their life was in a crisis, as the group felt comfortable with the
process and stages one must get through to recover from having one*s heart broken. In their eyes such a
circumstance seemed to be the only pain that was worthwhile.
The next question came up when I asked if we were all followers or leaders. &ome said they
follow the example of ust a few, and only those who they deeply respect. (thers said it was in their
intention to lead, but without the means to do so, they were often times simply misunderstood. The
question of bullying came up at this point in reference to the topic, when asked if we ever submitted to
a worse form of domineering personality because at the time we felt defenseless. This introduced the
question of personality type, when one contributor, submitted that a person may learn from their
experience and what works for them, and what doesn*t. That a certain personality type may learn from
being bullied to stay away from such situations to become more independent thinkers. The class agreed
they had all seen cases of bullied people who overcame their weakness to achieve their dreams, and yet
that, in their eyes still did not ustify the act, yet it was a question of perception, as to whom a person
feels they can either trust or distrust to become motivated.
The question of quality of life still stirred as the opinion that life is a good thing was unanimous,
maybe we were neither leaders or followers all, or even most of the time, but our shared experiences
qualified that they we could exercise udgment, that we had developed a level of understanding almost
in spite of our reaching maturity. That the hole in the do+nut was filled, we did not require the approval
of others to to feel our feelings, or to form a point of view based on the premise that we had had these
experiences ourselves.
)!.
&o then how could life also be bad. The reply came back that they felt abandoned by all
different classes of people, and that even their own families had voiced disapproval, and a desire that
we could do better. It was when our personality successes, and failure were some how manipulated into
a form of character assassination by others that we were defeated with no hope in oining those who
seemed to be achieving their goals, we actually felt their arrogance was manipulated to make us feel
inferior to them. "t this point we felt we had no hope at all, and our resources established by a certain
sense of guilt made our ability to be compassionate limited. 8epression was a characteristic described
by the group that made life feel worse, and made our attempts difficult in modeling our behavior to
take the necessary actions to come out of.
Thus then we all ascribed being emotionally motivated as a sign of integrity. That the quality of
our own lives was very much the cause of our own making. That cause and effect in relation to
behavioral norms and expectations often time set us up for a lesson to be learned. In fact as we as
taking initial actions. We agreed that life was filled with these many lessons that ascribed characteristic
traits to ourselves as individuals.
It was in this broader sense that I attempted to tie the conversation into $iteracy, as we had
discussed the various themes that make our lives complete, I demonstrated that conflict resolution, and
cause and effect like reading and writing skills, had everything to do with working through thought
processes in our own mind, in order to develop it in a way that shows our experience is meaningful and
relevant, to whom we are as people, and the points of view we establish, based on the situations and
circumstances we have lived through.
The process in which a group can agree that literacy skills and there development attribute to a
condition of wisdom, was very much the motivational theory I implemented to show them that their
reading skills were effective. To speak of the classes drives, instincts and incentives, meant providing
)).
examples as to how in recompense they were already becoming storytellers. They were becoming
storytellers of their own intellect like depicting pictographs of their own allusions as to the chemistry
that functions with critical thought. 'y position was not to argue that they were disabled only as far as
their minds would have them tell them so, while they had gathered from inference the fundamentals
and models they needed to make their contribution. The contribution of my students was made to the
whiteboard as sentences that had cultural influences about their heritage, diverging view points and
differentiating forms of argument cast into our discussion what they enoyed about reading, but that
time they felt out of place doing so.
To develop an emotional integrity and an emotional balance we needed to side with our feelings
of guilt and shame, in an effort to take ownership of them. That the preceding knowledge that had
arisen by contributing insight had to find it*s center in it*s own positive influence. @verything else was
ust playing games, while we felt comfortable enough discussing the shortcomings of intimidation to
develop a plan to make use of the thought processes that were established by discussing a storyline, the
characteristics that made us individuals received the affirmation that there was very little conflict with
our own identity, and how we envisioned this to be portrayed in the world of social media. The theme*s
that took priority in our own independent thinking were very much the strands of reinforcement that we
encountered by discussing reading material. &o that at least we established the point that there was no
conflict in our own identities and these literacy skills that were developing.
I used as a moral example that of the 7rodigy child returning home. #ow then did we feel
returning to our 'entors or perhaps our family*s to submit that we were rational, philosophers,
musicians, poets, and $iterary scholars, what was the dream deferred in making the comment that we
had the incentive to struggle with scholarly leaders to show that our inbred gifts were highly intuitive.
When did that that last glimmer of hope die, as we were practiced our last skills of the intellect. In
)..
having a lack of resources in knowing were to find the reliable Teacher, our thoughts still perpetuated
rebellion, as we we were shown that learning skills develop from personal incentives. That when the
student is ready the right Teacher will present themselves. It was then that we could feel our emotional
balance was the outcome of accepting that we had minds of our own, that could and would work when
given a chance to.
I took note of these many incentives and developed a kind of hierarchy. That placed family on
the bottom. "cademic &kills &econd. 7ersonal Interests third. 1ommunications skills fourth, and fifth
but on top were our own incentives. It was this hierarchy that we used to derive conclusions about the
placement of support and when we could allow one stage to follow the next in a kind of synchronicity.
It was in understanding that our most primal needs were one to instill diverse thinking, to grasp
concepts of sound reasoning that were based on the premise that they could add to our contribution.
9rom this class discussion one student added that we were working with a status quo. It is not to say we
weren*t but it was more important to find where the support came from, that would make these stages
of development one worth investing time in.
/o one likes to feel like an outcast who is simply misdirected. The point of our letter and our
reworking of sentences was so that we could describe the situations and circumstances that had
defeated us with enough distance from them, so that our insight into rational concepts could show how
each step of the way we were taking stock in our own recovery from them. The bulk of our works was
clarified as we found these threads that would make the universal experience of being human to
complete more characteristic thoughts of our incentives, based on our own discussions about our own
integrity as a personal matter, in such away that we did not have to sacrifice having the incentive to
develop sound reasoning based on the irrational claim that this was meant for other people.
)0.
:asing my Teachings on moral principles while working in conunction with the Teachings of
the Buaker &ociety of 9riends, I asked my class the question what value%, what moral value, and what
ethical principle will they take with them from our Teaching of "dult $iteracy. The response was that
they would use the class as the lesson that they learned, that they could understand their prior
knowledge now, as a premise and perception of self awareness. The reply was made that they were
coming from a reference point of being lost at sea, and survivors of their own shipwreck. That they
now felt they could explore and discover more about themselves, by researching this uncharted island,
to learn from it*s inhabitants how their experience was of value, and how they could make ready plans
that could be followed by action in demonstrating that what they learned were very fundamental facts
of human nature.
'en and women we concluded was made in the image of their creator. That this creativity in
our own creations, were very much a response that made this cognitive domain, one of a versatile
critical minded thought process that was inferential in understanding points of our own conflicts, and
resolutions of them. That cause and effect as well as comparing and contrasting arguments for
agreement, was very much the practice of sound reasoning. That in the image of our creator, we could
construct hypothetical and theoretical statements that were both reliable and valid. That our personality
traits, our very assets and liabilities no longer constrained us to a point that we needed the approval
from others, to construct from our our past the significance, and dignity of being accountable for the
moral value found in self expression, and that literacy was the taproot in which this foundation could
lead to a promise of hope.
The question of authority then became the turning point in our self searching, as we decided
amongst ourselves, that for our group purpose we were still very much our own authority. That men
and women were very much self governing, with the ability to take into account supporting evidence
that serve the function of decision making actions that were both productive and intuitive. In fact, the
)3.
resolution of our own productivity was the stock and barrel of our own safekeeping on pride. That
when task analysis had been achieved we were the source of our own inner strength, and self
confidence. That there was no reason to stay isolated in a world that ust seems to transgress progress.
(ur own progress was very much our own responsibility for which we could develop a more common
form of this need to be productive in a way that is liberating.
In asking what the decision was about the original question, the point was clarified that the class
had taken ownership of it*s own literacy skills. That the previous motivation was more cut throat, and
presumably another plan for a hit and run. &o what did they mean by ownership of their skills. "s it
turned out it was the very act of their own participation and involvement with skills of intelligences that
they began to heal. Without the stigma attached of what had been the cause, or submission to what was
absolute failure. The class agreed that their telling of the view points had very much enabled them to
rise to success, that in fact they could not separate or isolate themselves from their will. That it was our
intention to see to it that it be put to proper use.
That we had succeeded in understanding the content of what is carried out through points of
reference and expressed in points of view was clearly established by consensus. That the lesson that
was of the most value, moral, ethical or otherwise was about life. That life itself is as a current of
thought. That though disabled we had the inalienable to transcend this sphere of influence, to gather
from it in ust which way our perspective of identity are tools to be utili,ed to clarify, and to theori,e
what is either the common or the uncommon condition that gives rise to the power of voice, and will at
last be the testimony that we may reveal that our voice be heard, since it will be based on devotion,
compassion, growth and development. Indeed, our own way of self study worked fine, as the class
became experts at assessing their own state of condition, in the attempt to take ownership of their own
affairs.
)6.
I conducted the final assessment of our class with the >I #ave a 8ream? by 'artin $uther Ding
Er. The conclusive aim of discussion was to ask what direction does the speech take, and in what
direction does it lead% The final statement of reinforcement was that ignorance was oppressive, but in a
positive light we agreed that a universal love did exist. 9rom that universal love which every person is
motivated to achieve, comes a sense of self love. This perception of self love, without running the risk
of becoming /arcissistic, implies that our identities all contain a sense of wish fulfillment, and a
clearly designed plan, to place the good of all human beings as our priority. (ur oppression as stated
came from our own illiteracy, that by becoming teachable we were now at the disposal of the
thoughtful minds that would place us in the consideration and examination of motivation, self+
awareness and self expressive connotation we were ready to develop, with the skills we had learned
skills, to apply them as tools to the conscientious minded reasoning of making our good will the final
service for the work we were now prepared to achieve. The question of our civil rights now became
defined as our inalienable rights, which meant we born into this world to be acknowledged for the
fundamental aspects of human sensitivity of our own growth and development. That this was also our
divine right which was at the source of all of our soul searching.
'y $esson (utline was published by www.scholastics.com as a an orientation into the works in
philosophy we would be covering in class. This benefit helped my students prepare for each careful
examination of self+will, to aid us in forming our own inter+personal connectedness with group
discussion which also included a writing circle, and classes on note taking.
);.
"s a reference to prepare my class to further their communication with other students who were
conducting 2eading, Writing and $iterary proects of their own. I referred my class to
www.goodreads.com, and www.freebooknotes.com These resources have the type of feedback and
response which conducts learning proects with a positive influence. I also posted a writing gallery with
the /ational 1ouncil of Teachers of @nglish so that my students could observe what a writing
collection gathered by the class on /on+:iased would appear to be when taken as a whole.
Throughout the course taught at The #arlem :ay /etwork, my students gave rounds of
applause to credit themselves for their own achievement.
Reso&rces)
1. Re**ie +in,ayson #We Sha,, -vercome' 2003. /i,,broo0 1ressNorth /innea2o,is /N.
2. 1,ato. #3he 42o,o*y o$ Socrates'
3. 5escartes #6rsat 6r*o S&m.'
7. 8ar, /ar0 #3he %omm&nist /ani$esto.'
5. %o&ntee %&,,en (ranc o$ 3he N.Y. 1&b,ic 9ibrary 136
th
Street and 9eno:
6. ;ar,em (ay Networ0. 7 West 125
th
Street
<. www.scho,astics.com
!. www.*oodreads.com
". www.$reeboo0notes.com
10.