Soft Skills Program

Part 1

STUDENT MANUAL

























2







Chapter 1

Business Communication
Skills


























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BUSINESS COMMUNICATION SKILLS


In this module, the participants will:

Understand what communication is.
Understand and appreciate the role and importance of non-verbal / body language
in communication.
Understand and practice active listening.
Understand and appreciate the feedback response mechanism

Before we understand clearly what communication is all about, we have a very interesting
law of communication, which is called Murphys laws of communication. It states that -

Communication usually fails - except by chance
If any message can be understood in many ways, it will usually be understood in
the way that can cause the most harm

Studies have shown that if seven messages are sent, only one gets through effectively!

Communication Theory

Communication is all about sharing or exchange of information (i.e. thoughts, ideas, and
opinions) between two or more persons so that there is common understanding between
them. The most important features are:

Sharing- This is an integral part of communication. In fact, it is the foundation of
communication. Some even go so far as to say that sharing itself is communication.

Common understanding- This is very important because words mean different things to
different people with different cultures.

Suppose we make the statement: Ahmedabad is a dry city. What does it indicate? It can
either indicate lack of water, or rainfall, or liquor, or life itself. One has to be very specific if
one has to make others understand.

Let us also consider this aspect - Do we really require two persons to communicate? For all
practical purposes, communication would require two or more people.

How does communication start?

When someone wants to say something, he becomes the sender. This sender should have
someone to listen to and this person becomes the receiver. When the sender talks, and the
receiver listens, communication takes place. It can either be one-way communication or a
two-way communication. In one-way communication, the receiver may or may not understand
the message whereas, in two-way communication, there is some degree of understanding
between the sender and the receiver. One-way communication is generally not very effective
since there is no way one can get to know whether the sender and the receiver understand
each other or not.





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Many a time, the most important thing is not what you say but how you say. Research has
shown that in actual face-to-face contact, the success of communication is broken down into
3 components

Words

Tone of voice

Gestures or body language


Words are a very small percentage of how we really communicate. In fact, the words
contribute only 7% towards the overall effectiveness of the communication, tone
contributes 38% and Body Language contributes 55%. This clearly highlights the importance
of Body Language in our daily life.


Communication skills are important to everyone - they are how we give and receive
information and convey our ideas and opinions with those around us.

Communication comes in many forms:

verbal (sounds, language, and tone of voice)
aural (listening and hearing)
non-verbal (facial expressions, body language, and posture)
written (journals, emails, blogs, and text messages)
visual (signs, symbols, and pictures)

It is important to develop a variety of skills for both communicating TO others and
learning how to interpret the information received FROM others. Knowing our
audience and understanding how they need to receive information is equally
important as knowing ourselves.

To an employer, good communication skills are essential. In fact, employers
consistently rank good communication skills at the top of the list for potential
employees.

Process of Communication

This process works as follows: The messenger has an urgea need that requires being
satisfied. In order to make that happen, it has to be in a form and format that
conveys the intent in the best possible manner. This is done through creating a
message that is meant to be sent. This message is encapsulated in the linguistic
conventions such as symbols i.e., words besides signs that can be referred to as non-
verbal language. The messenger encodes the message in verbal and/or non-verbal
language that is considered to best communicate the message according to the intent.





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The message will go through a channel, a means of communication such as e-mail,
face to face or phone conversation, letter, presentation etc. The receiver will then
decode the message using conventions, cultural or contextual background, and
language skills. The message that is received or interpreted might or might not be the
same as the sent one and may not necessarily meet the intent of the messenger.

Communication requires a sender, a message, and a recipient. The communication
process is complete once the receiver understands the sender's message.





Sender: The communication loop starts with the sender of the message. An
idea/thought is first formulated in the mind of the sender.

Encoding: The sender uses words/symbols/graphics etc. to encode the message for
the purpose of easy transmission and easy interpretation.

Channel: The encoded message from the sender reaches the receiver through a
channel that is appropriately selected by the sender for effective communication.
Phones, newspapers, radio, internet etc. are all examples of different channels or
media.

Receiver: Receiver is the ultimate audience for whom the message is targeted.

Decoding: It refers to the interpretation of message at the receivers end. Decoding
depends on various factors like the context of communication, beliefs and thoughts of
the receiver, the previous knowledge etc. and if the decoding does not happen
properly the communication fails.

Feedback: Feedback is essentially a response to the message sent by the sender to
the receiver, but its important to note here that the feedback may not always return
in the same format and through the same channel. The feedback can also be verbal or
nonverbal in nature.






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Barriers and Filters

There is an English proverb which says: The path of true love never runs smooth. The same
holds good for communication. Its path is mined with external and internal obstacles which
hinder effective communication.

The external obstacles are distractions which exist outside both the sender and receiver, and
prevent effective communication. These are called as Barriers. Some examples are Noise,
language, cross-talk, distance, mechanical failure, jargon, visual distraction, etc. , which
come in the way of communication.

The internal obstacles are those which exist within the sender and the receiver. These
prevent the undistorted flow of communication. In other words, they tend to distort
communication, and hence they are called as Filters. These are the feelings that
exist inside both parties, like shyness, superiority complex, disinterest, pre-conceived
notion or opinions, rigid attitudes, anger, disappointment, sorrow etc.

Feedback

Feedback information relates to persons regarding the good or bad effects of their behavior.
The action or behavior is continued or modified based on this feedback.

The three characteristics of feedback are

Feedback is always given by an outside source
Feedback points out the gaps, if any, between the intentions and the effects; thus the
corrective action can be taken.
Feedback gives rise to different perspectives, leading to collation, discussion and
holistic results.

The tool we use for giving feedback is called the feedback response. It is a four step model,
and can be used for all situations, whether negative or positive feedback is to be given. The
four steps are as follows:

1. Behavior description- In this step, we tell the other person exactly what he said or
did.
2. Feelings - In this step, we tell the other person what we felt because of his action or
behavior.
3. Impact - In this step, we tell the other person what was, or would be the effect of his
action or behavior.
4. Request - In this step, we request the other person for a change in his action or
behavior which would correct the situation.

Receiving Feedback

Accept the feedback gracefully

Paraphrase the feedback.





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While paraphrasing, maintain a neutral or positive body language.

Ask the other person for specific behavior description

Reassure him that this information is for taking correct action.

Explain your point of view and actions.

Thank the other person for his feedback


One Way and Two Way Communication

One way communication: no feedback or interaction follows, used for giving
instruction and direction.

It is fast
It is generally satisfying to the sender
It is generally frustrating to the receiver
It is not very accurate
Two-way communication: have feedback, interaction and discussion.

It is:

Time consuming
Frustrating to the sender
Satisfying to the receiver
More accurate than communication without feedback
When accuracy of communication is the goal, two-way communication,
although time consuming, is preferable
Two-way communication requires active listening

Written and Spoken Communication

A written text can communicate across time and space for as long as the
particular language and writing system is still understood.





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Speech is usually used for immediate interactions.

Written language tends to be more complex and intricate than speech with
longer sentences and many subordinate clauses.
Spoken language tends to be full of repetitions, incomplete sentences, corrections
and interruptions, with the exception of formal speeches and other scripted forms of
speech, such as news reports

Writers receive no immediate feedback from their readers, except in
computer-based communication.
Speech is usually a dynamic interaction between two or more people. Context
and shared knowledge play a major role, so it is possible to leave much unsaid
or indirectly implied.
Spoken Communication

For introductions
For sharing your requirements
Informal way of receiving acceptance
Written Communication

Event description
Formal invitation letter

Verbal and Non Verbal Communication

VERBAL

When it comes to what to say, the often used phrase of "keep it short and simple" is
highly relevant for the speaker or writer. Words said or written in a communication
must be limited, concise, clear and easily understood by the audience. Use of jargons
or special terms should not occur unless the audience is specialized and familiar with
the terms. Terms should then be defined to make sure everyone who hears or reads
the message knows the meaning. Plan the topic, outline the message, be precise as
possible, then consider the audience and make revisions to text as necessary.

NON VERBAL

The eyes communicate more than any other part of the human anatomy. The ancient





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Chinese proverb says: The eyes are the windows, the mirrors of the soul. Staring or gazing
at others can create pressure and tension in the room. Maintained eye contact can show if a
person is trustworthy, sincere or caring. Shifty eyes, too much blinking can suggest deception.

People with eye movements that are relaxed and comfortable, yet attentive to the person
they are conversing with, are seen as more sincere and honest. Eyebrow muscles draw the
eyebrows down and toward the center of the face if someone is annoyed. If someone is
empathetic and caring during dialogue the eyebrows will not show the annoyed facial
grimace.

There are 50 or so different types of human smiles. By analyzing the movements of over 80
facial muscles involved in smiling, researchers can tell when a smile is true. Authentic smiles
are smiles that crest or change rapidly from a small facial movement to a broad open
expression. The smile is often reflected in the eyes if it is a heartfelt one.

Mouth movements can give away all sorts of clues. We purse our lips and sometimes twist
them to the side when were thinking. Another occasion we might use this movement is to
hold back an angry comment we dont wish to reveal. Nevertheless, it will probably be
spotted by other people and although they may not know the comment, they will get a
feeling you were not too pleased.

Vocal cues can predict deception. More and lengthier pauses during conversation; a lot of
such sounds as uh, um, word repetitions; intruding sounds not part of the actual speech,
less lengthy answers or explanations where they would be expected to be.

Ears play a vital role in communication with others, even though in general terms most people
cant move them much, if at all. However, youve got two ears and only one mouth, so try to
use them in that order. If you listen twice as much as you talk you come across as a good
communicator who knows how to strike up a balanced conversation without being me, me,
me or the wallflower.
Posture is the next thing to master; get your posture right and youll automatically start
feeling better, as it makes you feel good almost instantly. An erect posture shows that you
are confident and alert and ready for anything. A drooping posture shows that you have
admitted defeat.

Angle of the body in relation to others gives an indication of our attitudes and feelings
towards them. We angle toward people we find attractive, friendly and interesting and angle
ourselves away from those we dont, its that simple!

Bodily cues are the most reliable of all nonverbal signals of deception. This is because a
person generally has less conscious control over these than other signals. Hand-to-face
gestures and shrugs are strong markers of deception. Playing with or touching things nearby
during conversations has been found to be associated with deception. Deceivers also are likely
to have increased, quick and animated use of hands/arms during speech.






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Gestures communicate. Hand signals can communicate without the use of any speech.
Touch communicates. A touch can be friendly or it can be aggressive. The way a person
stands reflects their level of confidence and comfort level. When you want to come across in
the best possible light, crossing the arms is a no, no in front of others.
Obviously if someone says something that gets your goat, then by all means show your
disapproval by crossing them!

If the words, the tone, and the body language are all in step, in synchronization,
then the communication is said to be CONGRUENT. If any of the above elements is
in dissonance, or not in synch, then the communication becomes non- congruent.
The message becomes unclear to the listener, and a wrong meaning is carried
away because of this non-congruent message

































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Chapter 2

INTRAPERSONAL
SKILLS































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INTRAPERSONAL SKILLS

Though the terms intrapersonal and interpersonal are used interchangeably by people, there
is a distinct difference between the two. Intrapersonal deals with the emotions, feelings,
thoughts that are stirred upon within an individual which the person next to them might not
even be aware of. This is quite different from interpersonal skills, which is immediately
visible to an external audience. There does however, exist a very strong relationship between
them, good intrapersonal skills will go a long way in producing (though not necessarily) good
interpersonal relationships.

So, what constitutes intrapersonal relationship skills?

Intrapersonal skills as mentioned earlier are those values, personality traits that reside deep
within an individual. It becomes so much a part of the individual that most of us are not even
aware of their impact on our daily lives.

In this section we will look at various intrapersonal facets that play a significant role in our
personal and professional lives, such as:

Self Esteem
Self Confidence
Assertiveness
Dealing with negative emotions

The first step towards developing good communication with others is to first ensure that we
are aware of where we stand in the above mentioned parameters. Only when we establish
good intrapersonal skills will we be able to effectively work on our interpersonal skills.



DEVELOPING ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR


Assertiveness is the ability to express our thoughts, feelings, opinions, beliefs and needs
directly, openly, honestly and appropriately, while not violating the personal rights of others.
It means that we have respect both for ourselves and for others. We are consciously working
toward a win-win solution to problems. A win-win solution means that we are trying to
make sure that both parties end up with their needs met to the degree possible. An assertive
effectively influences, listens, and negotiates so that others choose to cooperate willingly.


What Will Assertiveness Do For You?

Develop your communication skills.
Allow you to feel self-confident.
Increase your self-esteem.
Help you to gain the respect of others.
Improve your decision-making ability.






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How to Develop Assertive Skills

1. Be responsible for your own behavior
2. Avoid being influenced
3. Be honest regarding compliments
4. Learn to say NO
5. Use I and We statements
6. Use appropriate body language
7. Choose assertive words carefully
8. Avoid exaggerations
9. Ask for feedback


SOME TECHNIQUES TO BE ASSERTIVE

The Broken Record Technique when meeting with resistance or indifference. The
broken record technique consists of stating repeatedly what you want in a calm, direct
manner with the persistence of a broken record.

Fogging is another technique to use with someone who is being critical of you. You
honestly agree with some part of the criticism even when you dont believe all of it.

Delaying is a technique to use when the other person becomes angry or hostile.
Defusing is a delaying tactic best used when someone responds to your assertive
request with intense anger or any other extreme display of emotion.


SELF ESTEEM & CONFIDENCE

Self-esteem reflects a persons overall evaluation or appraisal of her or his own worth.
Self-Confidence relates to self-assuredness in ones personal ability, power, judgment etc.
Self-confidence is an attitude which allows individuals to have positive yet realistic views of
themselves and their situations. Self-confident people trust their own abilities, have a general
sense of control in their lives, and believe that, within reason, they will be able to do what
they wish, plan, and expect. People who are not self-confident depend excessively on the
approval of others in order to feel good about them. They tend to avoid taking risks because
they fear failure.

STRATERGIES FOR DEVELOPING SELF- CONFIDENCE


Emphasize strengths.

Give yourself credit for everything you try.
Make a list of the things we do well, and do one of these things every day- it is
often very effective.
Make a list of the things that you like about yourself. By making a list like we
can sometimes rediscover those qualities about ourselves that we often take
for granted.





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Take Risks.

Approach new experiences as opportunities to learn rather than occasions to
win or lose.
Not doing so turns every possibility into an opportunity for failure, and inhibits
personal growth.
Another way to rebuild our self confidence is to try doing and risking things
that weve never tried before.


Self Evaluate.

Learn to evaluate yourself independently. Doing so allows you to avoid the
constant sense of turmoil that comes from relying exclusively on the opinions
of others.