DEAR LOVER

BY DAVID DEIDA
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1. You Are Love
2. Chocolate Love
3. Yearning Is the Key to Love
4. he !i"t o" #a$ing Love
%. &'iritual &e(iness
). *rgas+ic Love
,. Love an- .ear
/. Your &e(ual Essence
0. Your rue 1eart an- Its &hells
12. *""ering or Betraying Your 1eart
11. he 3o4Bo-ie- 5lay o" Love
12. Loving Larger than .ear
13. rusting Your #an to *'en You
14. You Attract Your 6eci'rocal
1%. 7hy #en 1ol- Bac$
1). Your .orce o" Attraction
1,. Your #an Is Your Choice
1/. E('ressing 5leasure an- 1urt
10. #asculine Insensitivity
22. 1o3 to &tay *'en
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21. *'ening Beyon- an I+'asse
22. En-ing 6elationshi's an- the 1i+4&ha'e- Voi-
23. hree &tages o" Loving
24. Love Is a Living Art
2%. &ho3ing Your 1eart8s Light in 5u9lic
2). Choosing A9use an- 6e"using Love
2,. 7anting to Be *'ene-
2/. A &u++ary o" rusting an- *'ening
20. !oo-9ye
1
You Are Love
Dear lover: 3hen I loo$ into your eyes: I "eel your heart8s yearning. ;othing is +ore
9eauti"ul to +e than your love. I 3ant to -rin$ your love an- -ive into your heart an-
ta$e you o'en to !o-. But I nee- to "eel you 3anting +e to enter you. I 3ant to "eel
you let -o3n your guar- in trust: <ust a little 9it: so I can "eel your heart8s
invitation. 5lease: o'en so I +ay clai+ your heart.
7hen you "eel -ee' into your heart: you "eel love. #ost -ee'ly: you are love.
his love shines as light: an- so you 3ant to 9e truly seen.
his light "lo3s as energy: an- so you 3ant to o""er yoursel" co+'letely.
Your heart 3ants to give an- receive love "ully. his is your heart8s -ee'est -esire.
Love is o'enness. his sa+e o'enness yearns at every9o-y8s heart. You are this love. You
are alive as love: an- your entire 9o-y yearns to live o'en as love. Your heart 3ants nothing
+ore than to live o'en as love: to give yoursel" totally as love44an- to 9e seen as the love
that you are. You long to 9e clai+e-: ta$en o'en: surren-ere- 9liss"ully: so that every
+o+ent o" your li"e is a9la=e as the light o" love8s 'assion: an o""ering o" your heart8s
-evotion: an- a-oration o" love8s ra-iant 9lessing.
In an e""ort to create sa"ety an- sel"4reliance in your li"e an- relationshi's: you +ay have
9uilt 3alls aroun- your heart an- accu+ulate- tension in your 9o-y. Although so+eti+es
these 3alls o" 'rotection are use"ul: they can: over ti+e: act li$e shells o" "ear that 9loc$
your true love. hese shells can $ee' in the love you 3ant to o""er "ully an- $ee' out the
love that your heart yearns to receive -ee'ly.
he secret to un"ol-ing your heart8s -ee'est 9liss is to give an- receive love "ully: 3ith or
3ithout a +an. Instea- o" -e'en-ing on a +an: an- instea- o" 'rotecting your heart 9ehin-
3alls o" accu+ulate- -isa''oint+ent: you can learn to o'en your 9o-y as i" it 3ere a 9ig
heart: vulnera9le an- "ull o" love8s ra-iant li"e4"orce. An- it is this -is'osition o"
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o'enhearte- ra-iance that 3ill gi"t the 3orl- as 3ell as attract an- $ee' a +an ca'a9le o"
actually +eeting your heart8s -ee'est -esire.
6ight no3: is your 9reath te(ture- as love44are you inhaling an- e(haling 3ith the sa+e o'en
'leasure you 3oul- i" your lover8s 9o-y 3ere 'ressing against yours in -elicate +erger44or is
your 9reath tense 3ith "ear"ul thoughts o" sel"4survival as 3ell as an e+otional sense o"
se'aration: -es'eration: or loneliness>
7hether you are alone or in relationshi': your s'iritual an- se(ual 9liss re?uire a -aily
allot+ent o" 3hole49o-y 'leasure an- -ee' heart o""ering: or else your <oy 3ill shrivel li$e
an un3atere- 'lant.
2
Chocolate Love
I love to 3atch you +ove. Your 9o-y is so o'en: I 3ant to e+9race you an- hol- your
heart against +ine. 7hen I see you eat chocolate or your "avorite "oo-s: I a+
a+a=e- at ho3 your 9o-y res'on-s 9y o'ening an- so"tening in 'leasure as i" love
3ere +oving through you. You o"ten ?uiver an- +a$e soun-s o" such -elight. I
3on-er 3hy you 3oul- choose to live any other 3ay 9ut this o'en to love. I $no3 you
can8t al3ays 9e eating -elicious -elicacies: 9ut I 3on-er ho3 you 3oul- live i" you
3ere 9reathing an- "eeling -ivine a+9rosia +oving through your 9o-y right no3.
You can surren-er o'en an- allo3 the "ull love4energy o" your heart to "lo3 through your
9o-y all -ay. You can learn to o'en so your heart8s love can "lo3 "ully through your entire
9o-y. hen: your true heart8s light can shine through your eyes an- s+ile. Love8s energy can
"lo3 through the 3ay you +ove. Love8s o'enness can 9reathe you. *thers can see 3ho you
truly are. hey can "eel your -ee'est gi"ts. You are love: "lo3ing 3ith love: 9right as love.
By learning to o'en to love8s "ullest 'leasure: your heart can e('ress your -ee'est gi"ts
through your 9o-y all -ay: an- you 3ill naturally attract an- $ee' a lover 3hose -ee' heart
is ca'a9le o" +eeting yours.
I+agine that you sit -o3n 3ith a 9o3l o" your "avorite treat44-ou9le chocolate ice crea+
3ith 'ecans. he "irst s'oon"ul enters your +outh. Chocolate 'er+eates your tongue li$e a
-elicious 3ave o" "ullness. Your eyes close an- you s+ile. #+++@ Love8s 9liss"ul o'enness
s'rea-s through your 3hole 9o-y. You 9reathe "ully: inhaling the chocolate aro+a: the so"t
ice crea+ +elting in your +outh. Even your toes an- "ingers +ay 9egin +oving 3ith 'leasure
as you s3allo3 chocolate "ullness.
I" you 3ante- to allo3 'leasura9le energy to +ove through your 9o-y even +ore: i" you
3ante- to o'en every 'art o" your 9o-y to over"lo3 3ith love8s "ullness: then you coul- 'ut
-o3n the 9o3l an- stan- u'. You coul- give yoursel" over to chocolate +a-ness: allo3ing your
9o-y to o'en an- -ance in chocolaty 'leasure: 3rithing an- s3aying: +oaning in yu++y
surren-er.
You can allo3 energy to +ove through your entire 9o-y li$e electricity: o'ening you to a
-ee'er "lo3 o" 'leasure. You +ay even choose to allo3 se(ual energy to +ove through you:
touching your legs 3ith your han-s: 3rithing your hi's in a volu'tuous -ance. You8ve gone 3ay
9eyon- the 'leasure o" chocolate no3: "eeling the "lo3 o" -ee'er 'assion an- yearning in
your 9o-y an- heart.
5erha's you lie on the couch an- touch yoursel" 9et3een your thighs: 3et 3ith -esire: "ull o"
3il-ness. Your tongue lic$s your li's 3anting +ore: 3anting +ore "ullness to ta$e in: +ore
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"ullness to receive through your +outh: your 9elly: 9et3een your legs. Your legs o'en an-
close li$e 9utter"ly 3ings as you touch yoursel": surren-ering o'en in the "lo3 o" energy an-
-esire.
An- then you +ay "eel your heart: aching to 9e seen: 3anting to 9e entere- 9y love. #ore
-ee'ly than 'leasure an- energy: you 3ant love. An- not <ust your +other8s love. #ost li$ely:
you 3ant to "eel a 'assionate +an o" true heart4integrity loving you -ee'ly. You 3ant hi+ to
see 3ho you really are an- -esire you: "eeling into your -ee'est heart. You 3ant his ten-er
"orce o" love4-esire to enter you -ee'ly: o'ening your heart8s secret core an- un"ol-ing
your -ivine essence o" love.
Although you +ay 9e reluctant to trust your o3n love8s yearning: your -ee'est heart 3aits
to 9e love- so "ully that you are o'ene- +ore than you are 3illing to o'en 9y yoursel":
9liss"ully "orce- o'en 9y love8s -ee'est clai+: reveale- o'en an- hel- in love8s gentle
co++an-.
At ti+es: you yearn "or hi+. ;ot necessarily a s'eci"ic +an: 9ut a "orce o" +asculine love:
seeing 3ho you really are: entering you: gently "orcing you o'en 3ith 'leasure: +assive love:
insisting: 'ersisting: unyiel-ing in -esire "or you: loving -ee'er into you an- o'ening you: not
sto''ing. You are "ille- 9y his love: ta$en o'en 9y his clai+. Breathing +ore an- +ore -ee'ly:
your 9o-y un-ulates: 'resse- o'en 9y his 3eight: "ille- 9y love8s enor+ity.
Your e-ges +elt. Your 9oun-aries -issolve. Your 9o-y o'ens out3ar-: love ra-iating "ro+
your heart as an un$e't o""ering. You cry as your resistance is +elte- in love8s "ullness:
'leasure "orcing your 9o-y +ore o'en. Your "ace +oist: your thighs 3et: your 9elly heaving:
you surren-er o'en: as 3i-e as all. ;o 9oun-aries. All love: all o'enness: all "ullness.
A"ter o'ening so "ully: you "eel 'er+eate- 9y love8s ever4'resent touch "or the rest o" the
-ay. As you 3al$ through your ho+e or carry on 3ith your 3or$: your hi's +ove as a "lo3er
o'ens. Your 9elly is "ull o" s$y an- stars. Your heart is o""ere- ocean4-ee'. 7ashing the
-ishes or 'honing your "rien-s: love s'ills "ro+ your every gesture: 9lessing all 3ith the
a9un-ant ra-iance o" your heart.
Chocolate or a goo- +an can instigate your heart8s surren-er: 9ut "ull49o-ie- 'leasure an-
over"lo3ing love44o'ening until you are e('ose- "ully to !o- as love8s 9liss44 is the only 3ay
to live true to your -ee'est -esire: 3ith or 3ithout a trusta9le lover or a tasty -essert.
3
Yearning ! The "e# To Love
Your yearning "or love is so 'o3er"ul that i can "eel your heart all the ti+e.3hen you o'enly
love +e. I can "eel your heart 9ut I can also "eel your heartAs yearning 3hen you are angry
or sa-.to +e.Your heart is al3ays calling:even though so+eti+es I a+ una9le to o'en 3ith
you 9ecause your e+otions -ivert +e I +ay 9e a"rai- an- -istracte- an- you +ay 9e
u'set :9ut still I "eel your heartAs yearning..All I nee- to "eel your heart Your yearning
-ra3s +e 9ac$ into loveAs -e'th.Your yearning is +y invitation into your heart.
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.eel -ee' into your heart..eel your tre+en-ous yearning.although you so+eti+es re-uce
this -ee' yearning to shallo3 nee-iness Bthe nee- to 9e love- 9y a +an or 9y yoursel" B
actually this -ee' yearning is the o'enness o" love.his yearning is the hole through 3hich
the -ivine love that lives o'en as the universe can 9e "elt to e+erge.Your 9oun-less -e'th
o" love co+es to light through this hole o" yearning 3hen you trust o'en as loveAs ache.
Dee' heart yearning is not a 'ro9le+ to 9e solve- :9ut a -ivine 'ull to o'en as -evotional
surren-er :as 3i-e as all:no3. 7ith or 3ithout a +an:3hether or not you "eel 3orthy :you can
o""er your heartAs o'enness through your yearning :right no3 as you are.
his ca'acity to o""er your o'en love is in-estructi9le..;o a+ount o" re<ection or 9etrayal
can -estroy this o""ering o" love.You +ay still at ti+es "eel hurt :torture- an- +angle- in
the "ear"ul -enial o" love that your +an:"rien-s an- "a+ily +ay in"lict on you 9ut their
-enial nee- not instigate yourAs..In the "ace o" re<ection an- unlove :you can continue to
o'en as the "ull strength o" your heartAs yearning an- -evotional surren-er :o'ening ins'ite
o" the hurt that your un'rotecte- heart "eels :o'ening in the +i-st o" e+otional u'heavel .
Devotional love is unsto''a9le i" you 3ill only o""er yoursel" 3i-e o'en in the +i-st o"
su""ering.I" you are in a relationshi' :an- your +an is 9eing a <er$: you +ay o""er loveAs
yearning as a strong -e+an- C DI love you: an- I 3onAt tolerate less than your "ullest
conciousness .Ayou +ay yell at hi+ :an- your rage +ay sha$e the house 9ut your heart nee-
not close in the +i-st o" loveAs "ury..
7hen you love so+e9o-y "ully :your heartAs 3rath 9e naturally 9e evo$e- in res'onse to
their re'eate- re"usal to o""er their -ee'est gi"ts.Anger +ay 9e your -ee'est e('ression
o" love in a +o+ent o" 9eing "rustrate- 9y your loverAs chosen li+its an- nu+9 -enial.
In any case 3hether you are angry or hurt :449eneath an- through all e+otions Byour love
yearns.his in-estructi9le love is the sa+e love :or o'enness: that yearns at the heart o" all
9eings. Even 3hen you are tense an- u'set :you can 'ractice surren-ering your 9o-y an-
heart to 9e 9reathe- o'en 9y this love that yearns in every9o-yAs heart.
$
The %i&t o& 'a(ing Love
I o'en +y 9o-y to love8s "lo3 the +ost 3hen I o'en 3ith you se(ually. Esually +y
9o-y is so+ething I use44to 3or$: to 'lay: to get things -one. But 3hen I "eel your
9o-y o'ening to +ine: +y 9o-y re+e+9ers love. Your se(ual surren-er a3a$ens +e
to a -e'th o" love I rarely "eel in +y 9o-y -uring any other ti+e o" the -ay. An-
through entering your heart an- 9o-y 3ith +ine in love8s -ee'est 9liss: I o'en
together 3ith you to !o-. Your 'leasure o" surren-er 9lesses +y li"e an- o'ens +e
in 3ays that "eel ne3 an- -ee'er every ti+e 3e +a$e love.
Your yearning attracts an- ins'ires love. I" you allo3 your -ee'est yearning to sho3 through
your entire 9o-y: you 3ill attract an- ins'ire a -ee' +an. 1o3 3oul- a -ee' +an love you>
A -ee' +an is acutely a3are o" -eathC his: yours: an- everyone8s. Because he is al3ays
'racticing to let go o" everything: his consciousness is "ree: an- he can 9e totally 'resent
3ith you. 1e can truly see you: he can "eel your -ee'est heart: an- he can enter you
co+'letely. As i" this 3ere his last +o+ent on earth 3ith you: he is una"rai- to lose
everything in his "ull o""ering o" love.
I+agine that such a +an 3ere +a$ing love 3ith you. 1e can "eel his -ee'est 'ur'ose. 6ight
no3: he 3ants to o'en 3ith you in utter heart surren-er. .ro+ his -ee'est heart: he 3ants
5
to enter you an- ta$e you o'en in love 9eyon- all 9oun-s. 1e ga=es into your eyes an-
9reathes 3ith you: entering your heart "ully: inha9iting your -ee'est heart8s yearning.
You can "eel his 'resence o'ening you. 1is ga=e 'enetrates into your heart8s hi--en love. 1e
o""ers you a concentrate- invasion o" -ivine 'resence. Love8s +asculine 'resence enters you
+ore -ee'ly than you coul- o'en yoursel".
You can still "eel your +an8s ga=e hol-ing your heart o'en -ee': 3hile his han- touches your
9o-y: gently: ten-erly. Your 9reath -ee'ens: an- you can "eel your +an 9reathing 3ith you.
;o 'art o" you esca'es his a3areness. I" your toe +oves: he "eels it. As your 9o-y shi"ts:
he shi"ts 3ith you: never letting you esca'e the clai+ o" his "ull 'resence. 1e $no3s 3here
to touch you an- ho3 to love you as he listens to your 9o-y8s ri''les an- heart8s res'onse.
You -on8t hol- 9ac$. 1is ten-er touch an- "orce"ul ga=e o'en your -esire. You +ove to $iss
hi+. 1e receives your $iss: 9ut -oesn8t stir. 1e s+iles. You can "eel hi+ teasing you. You $iss
hi+ again: +ore "orce"ully. Again: he s+iles an- re+ains lovingly in-i""erent: although his
ga=e an- touch continue to inha9it your every +otion.
You can8t stan- it any+ore an- you roll on to' o" hi+: yearning "or his -ee'er entrance:
longing to 9e ta$en 9y this +an 3ho "eels you so -ee'ly an- unerringly. Your so"t 9ellies
9reathe together as you ga=e into each other8s eyes. 1is eyes see+ en-less: an- yet they
also see+ steely: intense: laser4li$e. An- su--enly he 'ounces44you are on your 9ac$ an- he
'ins you 9eneath hi+.
You gas' as his legs o'en yours. But he 3aits. 1e 9reathes 3ith you. You can "eel his
har-ness an- the "orce o" his 9elly against your 9elly: 9reathing 3ith you: o'ening you 3ith
his "ull 9reath: in an- out o" your heart: his 9elly 'ressing into yours: his "eet 'inning yours
to the 9e-: his han-s hol-ing your 3rists. 1e ga=es into your eyes.
1e continues "eeling his o3n -eath: your -eath: everyone8s -eath. 1e "eels the 'reciousness
o" this +o+ent: the -elicate love at everyone8s heart: the gi"t o" 9eing 9orn in the "or+ o"
a +an an- 3o+an. 1e "eels love8s o'en -e'th living through hi+: living through 9oth o" your
"or+s. 1e connects 3ith your heart through his ga=e: his 9elly 'ressing into you: 9reathing
you. 1e is so 'resent 3ith you that you can8t hel' 9ut o'en +ore -ee'ly: surren-ering
9eneath the 3eight o" his heavy love: o'ening your legs to -ra3 hi+ in.
1e loo$s -o3n at your 9reasts. 1e s+iles. You can "eel hi+ a-oring your "e+inine "or+. 1e
$isses your 9reasts: gently suc$ing your ni''les: then ga=ing into your eyes. You $no3 ho3 it
"eels 3hen a +an gets -istracte- 9y your 9o-y: "ocusing on one 'art 3hile "orgetting that
the rest o" you e(ists. But this is very -i""erent. Your +an8s a-oration o" your 9o-y is
o9vious: 9ut so is his -e'th o" "eeling. 1e "eels an- loves your "or+: 9ut he "eels an- loves
-ee'er than your "or+: too.
1is $isses "eel +ore li$e 'oetry reaching into your heart: a love o""ering o" his -ee'est
heart44'reciously ten-ere- 9y his $no3le-ge o" inevita9le -eath44e+erging through his li's
to 3orshi' your 9reasts an- so +uch -ee'er. You allo3 your 9o-y to res'on- to his 3orshi'.
You 'ress your o'en thighs aroun- hi+: o""ering yoursel" to hi+ +ore 'assionately: +oaning
an- 'lea-ing: F5lease: 'lease....F
As he enters you se(ually: your surren-er un"ol-s 9eyon- 3or-s: an- you s'ea$ in tones o"
incoherent 'leasure in res'onse to his clai+. 1e is still ten-er: 9ut +ore "orce"ul: "illing you:
har-: 3ith his clai+ing thrust. Your vagina o'ens -ee'er: an- his o'enness continues to "ill
your 9o-y. Your 3hole 3o+9 an- 9elly o'en 3ith "ullness: an- your heart o'ens: an- your
throat an- +outh o'en: soun-s o" love e+erging. Your love o'ens 9eyon- your +an8s sha'e.
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1e sto's +oving. You o'en your eyes44you -i-n8t even $no3 you ha- close- the+44an- his
ga=e 'enetrates into you as -ee' as his thrusts. 1is ga=e is -e+an-ing: 3anting +ore "ro+
you: +ore -e'th: +ore love. You love to "eel his -e+an-. 1is 9elly still 9reathes "ull against
your 9elly: 'ressing into you. Li$e a "aultless -ancer: his +ove+ents antici'ate yours. You
"eel inha9ite- 9y his 'resenceG he $no3s your heart -ee'er than you -o.
.or 'leasure: you resist. You try to 'ush: get out o" his gras': esca'e his 3eight. But he
$ee's you 'inne- 9eneath hi+. You 'ush an- 'ush an- he -oesn8t +ove: 9ut enters you
slo3ly: +ore -ee'ly: "illing your 9o-y an- your heart 3hile $ee'ing you clai+e- to -e'th.
hen: you notice that his 'resence 3ith-ra3s a 9it. Is he thin$ing a9out so+ething> Di- you
-o so+ething 3rong> You "ree your 3rist an- -ig your "ingernails into his ass. hat gets his
attention. An- no3: as he loo$s into your eyes: he can "eel your -evotion: your yearning "or
+ore -e'th.
1e reali=es that his attention 3ent shallo3 "or a +o+ent: 9ut that your heart still 3aits
-ee'. Your eyes so"tly 'lea- "or his -ee' entrance. You 3ill not settle "or less. I" he goes
shallo3 "or even a "raction o" a secon-: you a3a$en hi+ 'resent 3ith your +ove+ents: a
soun-: or a sla'. You o""er your vulnera9le heart to 9e ta$en 9y his clai+. Your yearning is
tangi9le. 1e can "eel your heart8s longing in the 3ay you o'en your legs to hi+: in the soun-s
you +a$e: in your eyes.
Your yearning -ra3s hi+ -ee'er: an- 3hen his clai+ co++an-s your heart: you surren-er
+ore "ully. ogether: you go o'en 3ithout en-. 1e "eels into you: giving you everything:
"illing you so +uch you can8t ta$e any +ore: inha9iting your entire 9o-y: $no3ing your
-ee'est heart8s yearning. 1e "eels through you: "eeling o'en an- still e('ressing his love as
i" this 3ere your last +o+ent on earth together. 1is 'resence is so -ee' an- sta9le44his
3orshi' o" your "or+ goes through your "or+ to the very o'enness o" the +o+ent44an- you
naturally surren-er o'en in total trust.
;othing is le"t 9ut love: 9reathing: living: an- o'ening as all.
)
S*iritual Se+ine!!
Your heart8s light "ills +y li"e. Li$e all +en: I +ay occasionally loo$ at a 'retty
3o+an an- s'en- hours toiling at 3or$: 9ut your heart is the source o" the ra-iance
that ins'ires +y entire li"e an- evo$es +y -ee'est gi"ts. ;othing o'ens +y heart
+ore "ully than seeing the light o" love in your eyes an- "eeling your 9o-y o'en as
love to receive +e. ;othing is as 9eauti"ul as your heart8s surren-er an- the ra-iant
o""ering o" your -evotion. Your love o'ens +y heart en-lessly: even 3hen I 3oul-
other3ise "orget love8s -e'th.
7hether or not you are 3ith a +an: your heart yearns "or -ee'er love. *"ten449ut not
al3ays44you yearn "or love through the "or+ o" a +an. 7hy> An- 3hat +a$es you or a +an
se(y in a s'iritual sense>
Your -esire to 9e clai+e- 9y a +an8s -ee' love is 9ase- in the truth o" your heartC You are
love. Your love shines as light: so you 3ant to 9e seen. Your love sho3s as the "ull "orce o"
surren-er: so you 3ant to 9e 'assionately entere-. In truth: your -ee' heart is right no3
9eing clai+e- 9y o'enness: ravishe- 9y the o'enness o" love.
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Your yearning to 9e ta$en o'en is si+'ly the natural "eeling o" your heart alrea-y 9eing
ta$en o'en: 9ut you have 'atterns o" resistance: an- so you "eel the tension44the longing44
9et3een the o'enness you -ee'ly $no3 is 'ossi9le an- the o'enness you are allo3ing.
Hust as your love can o'en a +an8s heart: a -ee' +an can o""er you an o''ortunity to o'en
+ore -ee'ly.
7ithout even touching you: a -ee' +an can s3oon you o'en to !o-44he can o'en you to love8s
-ivine +ystery an- 9liss"ul 9ene-iction44i" he is totally 'resent 3ith you: truly seeing you:
"eeling you: entering you 3ith his loving -esire: touching the +ost vulnera9le -e'th o" your
heart.
7hen he loo$s into your eyes: you can "eel hi+ entering your heart. 1is 'resence can 9e so
strong: so un3avering an- 'assionate an- clear: that his love inva-es you: -ee'ening into you.
Your 9o-y an- heart o'en to hi+: surren-ering o'en to receive his love: 3anting hi+ to enter
you even -ee'er.
7hat you trust a9out a +an is his integrity o" 9eing o'en in love 3ith you an- his strength
o" 'resence. 7hen his attention 3an-ers44he see+s to 9e listening to you 9ut his eyes are
-arting all over the roo+ an- his thoughts are else3here: or he is caught u' in his o3n
'ursuit o" 'leasure44then you lose trust in hi+. In res'onse to his lac$ o" 'resence an-
integrity: your 9o-y tenses an- your heart 'ulls 9ac$ to 'rotect itsel".
But 3hen his attention is totally 3ith you44you can "eel hi+ "eeling the rhyth+ o" your
9reath: touching you <ust 3here you long to 9e caresse-: antici'ating your nee-s 9e"ore you
notice the+44then you naturally surren-er an- o'en to receive hi+.
You crave his "ully 'resent attention: 3hich results "ro+ the o'enness o" his a3areness: the
"ree-o+ o" his consciousness. Your +an is s'iritually se(y 3hen his attention is "ree: 3hen
he is not 3ra''e- u' in a <angle o" thoughts an- con"licting -esires: 3hen his consciousness
is "ree to 9e 3ith you totally: un-istracte-.
Your +an is s'iritually se(y 3hen you can "eel his consciousness in his entire 9o-y "ully alive
an- 'resent 3ith your entire 9o-y. 1is 9elly: legs: an- "eet are strongly 'resent 3ith you:
not <ust his 9ulging eyes an- genitalsG his heart is "ully "eeling you through his 3hole 9o-y.
1is entire 'resence is unconvolute-: honest: an- genuinely 3ith you: an- his 3hole 9o-y is
o'en: rela(e-: an- strong 3ith the "orce o" conscious 'resence.
An- 3hat -oes he "in- s'iritually se(y in you> 1e is irresisti9ly -ra3n into the light o" your
love: sho3ing through your entire 9o-y as ra-iant o'enness an- -evotional surren-er. 7hen
you "all in love 3ith so+e9o-y: you 9eco+e +ore ra-iant: an- your "rien-s can see it. Your
eyes s'ar$le: your chee$s glo3: your 3al$ changes: 9eco+ing so"ter an- +ore 9uoyantly
alive. Light an- li"e4energy is the 3ay love a''ears through your 9o-y. Love8s ra-iance:
love8s energy: shines an- o'ens through your entire 9o-y in a very noticea9le 3ay.
he o'enness o" this love4light is 3hat your +an "in-s s'iritually se(y in you. he +ore you
o'en in trust an- o""er this light through the yearning o" your love: the +ore he 3ants to
enter you an- +erge 3ith your glorious surren-er: his heart o" 'resence +el-ing as one 3ith
your heart o" love. 1e 3ants to -ive into your -evotional surren-er an- ta$e you o'en: +ore
-ee'ly: as your never4en-ing yearning invites hi+ +ore -ee'ly in to love8s "ullness.
Your ca'acity to o'en in oneness 3ith a +an8s 'resence is your s'iritual ca'acity "or se(ual
surren-er. Your +an can "eel 3hether or not you are surren-ering o'en in yearning invitation
"or hi+ to +erge 3ith your love4light an- clai+ your heart. I" you -on8t trust a +an "ully:
then: o" course: you 3on8t surren-er "ully o'en 3ith hi+.
8
Ensurren-ere- 3o+en attract un'resent +en. Your lac$ o" heart4surren-er an- your
+istrust 3ill +a$e your +an less 'resent an- less trusta9le. You an- your +an are either
evo$ing in each other o'enness or closure: 3orshi' or -istance. he -e'th o" yearning you
o""er invites the -e'th o" 'resence you are li$ely to get.
A +an 3ho coul- 9e "ully 'resent 3ith you44a +an 3hose consciousness 3as -ee' an- clear
9ecause he 3as living his true 'ur'ose an- his 'assionate heart 3as unencu+9ere- 9y "ear
an- a+9iguity44such a +an 3ants e?ually una+9iguous surren-er o""ere- through your
yearning 9o-y an- heart. 1e 3ants your love o""ere- as an o'en invitation 3ith "ull energy
through your entire 9o-y. You 3ant his "ull 'resence entering your -ee' heart through his
entire 9o-y.
Your +an 3ants to see love shining in your "ace. 1e 3ants to "eel your yearning ri''ling
through your 9o-y: e+erging through your +oans o" 'assion.
You 3ant your +an to truly see you: -ee'ly "eel you: an- $no3 you: utterly. You long "or his
clai+ to o'en you so -ee'ly that your surren-er is inevita9le: love4"orce- 9eyon- your o3n
-oing. Your heart an- 9o-y o'en as the 'leasure o" al+ost un9eara9le -evotional o""ering: FI
a+ yours: ta$e +e.F
You are only 3illing to surren-er o'en i" he is "ully 'resent 3ith you: co++itte- to clai+ing
your heart 3ith his a9solute integrity o" 9eing. An- he is only 3illing to co++it his 'resence
3ith you i" you are 3illing to surren-er o'en an- o""er your heart8s light an- -evotion as
love8s yearning.
1is 'resence 3ill: in "act: 3aver: as 3ill your o""ering o" love8s energy. You 3ill so+eti+es
"eel un+et: an- you 3ill close -o3n. An- so you learn the art o" 9reathing love an- trusting
o'en: as i" surren-ering o'en to se(ual ravish+ent: 3ith or 3ithout a +an. All -ay: you can
'ractice o""ering your heart an- 9o-y to 9e clai+e- 9y !o-: settling "or nothing less.
Your surren-er an- your +an8s co++it+ent: o'ening each other +ore -ee'ly than you 3oul-
o'en yourselves: is an art that can 9e 'ractice- in relationshi'. 7ith or 3ithout a +an: you
can 'ractice o'ening your 9o-y to "lo3 3ith 'leasure 3hile o'ening your heart as an o""ering
o" love8s yearning.
,
Orga!-ic Love
Be"ore I un-erstoo- ho3 to o'en 3ith you: I trie- giving you orgas+s so I $ne3 I
3as a goo- lover. But no3: all I 3ant is your surren-er. I 3ant your heart8s 'leasure
to ri''le through your o'en 9o-y an- saturate +y li"e 3ith your love. Your 9o-y8s
o'enness to love8s "lo3 -ra3s +e into you: an- through your heart8s surren-er I a+
o'ene- to the love that lives as the universe. 7hether you have an orgas+ or not
3hile 3e +a$e love: your 9o-y8s trust an- -evotional o'enness is +y secret -oor3ay
to love8s -ee'est 9liss.
Your 9o-y8s o'enness44your ca'acity to surren-er o'en 3ith your 3hole 9o-y so your heart
can 9e ravishe- an- ta$en 9y love44is a -oor3ay to ecstatic s'iritual -e'th: 3ith or 3ithout
a +an. I" your 9o-y can8t o'en: your heart can8t shine. 7hen your 9o-y is surren-ering o'en
3ith 'leasure "ro+ -ee' 3ithin: then you can o'en an- o""er your heart "ully "ro+ the insi-e
out.
*rgas+ is one "or+ o" se(ual 'leasure. You +ay never have ha- 3hat you call an orgas+: or
you +ay have ha- +any. It -oesn8t really +atter. 7hat +atters is that your 9o-y can o'en
9
in love8s 9liss"ul surren-er. I" your 'elvis is loc$e- an- your vagina is close- -o3n or nu+9:
then your heart is 'revente- "ro+ o""ering love "ully through your 9o-y.
*'ening through orgas+ic surren-er: alone or 3ith a lover: can 'rovi-e a uni?ue o''ortunity
to o""er your -ee'est love an- uninhi9ite- yearning through your "ully e('resse- 9o-y.
Clitoral Orga!-!
You +ay or +ay not have a +an in your li"e: 9ut "or no3: i+agine that you are in 9e- 3ith
your lover. 1e stro$es your 9elly an- caresses your 9reasts. 1e touches you gently insi-e
your thighs: trailing his "ingerti's "ro+ $nee to crotch. .on-ling: touching: loving: he
eventually $isses you 9et3een your legs. 7ith sensitivity an- s$ill: he lic$s: ni99les: an-
suc$s your +ost sensitive "lesh: 3hile also touching your "eet an- legs an- 9elly an- 9reasts
3ith his han-s.
Your 9reath 9eco+es shorter an- "aster. Your eyes close. You gra9 his hair an- 'ush his
"ace tightly against you. Breathing ra'i-ly: an orgas+ sei=es through your 9o-y: your voice
high4'itche-: shrie$ing: your "ace tense: your 9o-y tightening: an- then rela(ing: a"ter one
or t3o or three clitoral orgas+s.
hese are the +ost su'er"icial orgas+s: re?uiring little i" any e+otional or s'iritual trust44a
vi9rator can 9e use- to achieve this 'leasure. ;evertheless: clitoral orgas+s can 're'are
you "or surren-ering o'en +ore -ee'ly.
Vaginal or %.S*ot Orga!-!
You have 9een +a$ing love "or al+ost an hour: your lover thrusting in an- out: his 9o-y
'ressing against yours: 3hile $issing you: 9iting your nec$: an- 'inning you 9eneath hi+ 3ith
his loving strength. FDon8t sto':F you groan: as your 9o-y rela(es o'en. Your ar+s s'rea- out
"ro+ your si-es: your heart o'ens: your +outh o'ens. Your +oans are long an- -ee' "ro+
your 9elly.
As the 3aves 9egin: your soun- goes -ee'er. You ga=e into your lover8s eyes: +oist 3ith
vulnera9le a""ection: your 9o-ies so"tening into each other: your hearts +el-ing. You ta$e
hi+ in +ore -ee'ly: o'ening your 9o-y to hi+: giving yoursel" to hi+: yiel-ing "ully. You gush
9et3een your legs: your vagina gra99ing hi+: +il$ing hi+: 'ulling hi+ in +ore -ee'ly.
1is constant rhyth+ic loving sen-s a 'urr through your 9o-y li$e a cat vi9rating. You rela(
+ore -ee'ly o'en: an- 3aves o" o'en 'leasure 9egin ra-iating "ro+ your vagina out through
your 3hole 9o-y. Li$e an ocean o" o'enness: your 'leasure -ra3s hi+ in -ee'er. You o""er
your heart to hi+: un'rotecte-. Your so"t 9o-ies 'ress together: your hi's +oving in
uncontrolla9le 3aves: your +outh ohh4ing in o'en 'leasure: your 9o-y surren-ering layer
a"ter layer +ore o'en than you have in a long ti+e.
he !4&'ot: an area o" s'ongy tissue a "e3 inches insi-e the anterior or "ront 'art o" the
vagina: is very sensitive in +any 3o+en. I" you are ca'a9le o" e('eriencing !4&'ot orgas+s:
9ut haven8t yet: this tissue can hol- +uch tension: anger: an- 'ain. his area o" your vagina
can 9e +assage- accor-ing to your ver9al gui-ance44slo3er: har-er: so"ter: "aster44
eventually rela(ing you enough to o'en in -ee' orgas+ic 3aves: 'ossi9ly even e<aculating
"lui-s "ro+ this s'ongy tissue.
Cervical Orga!-!
Your cervi( is the 'hysical source o" e(traor-inarily -ee' orgas+s. As 3ith your !4&'ot:
your cervi( +ay 9e ?uite sensitive an- 'ain"ul to the touch i" you haven8t regularly allo3e-
"ull 'leasure to +ove through your cervical area. But 3ith a "e3 3ee$s o" receiving +assage
near your cervi(: this area o'ens. An- i" you have a +an in your li"e: then 3hen you +a$e
10
love: as your lover8s thrust sti+ulates an- o'ens your cervical area: your e+otional an-
s'iritual surren-er can lea- to tre+en-ous orgas+ic revelations o" love8s 9liss.
A"ter an hour o" heart4connecte-: 'assionate: se(ual +erger: i+agine that your loving
together 3ith your +an continues. 1is entrance into your 9o-y is -ee': 'ersistent: creative:
unyiel-ing. 1is strong han-s hol- your 3rists: his 9elly 'resses -ee'ly -o3n into yours: his
gentle "orce enters you again an- again: o'ening you: o'ening 'laces you have never "elt to
o'en.
You "eel utterly clai+e-: ta$en o'en to !o-: o9literate- in his -ee' loving. You let go even
+ore -ee'ly: -ying in the intensity o" his loving: crying as all love 9ursts you o'en. You are
$ille- 9y 9liss: so"tly: s3eetly 'erva-e- 9y his ten-er love. Your s$in -issolves. Your e-ges
+elt. An- again: even -ee'er: you let go o" so+ething you -i-n8t $no3 you 3ere hol-ing: a
+inute clench -ee' in your heart o'ens: giving o'en to hi+: to !o-: an- your tears "lo3.
.orgetting 9eginning an- en-: your orgas+ o'ens -ee'er an- -ee'er. Layers o" surren-er
are o""ere- u' through your -e'ths: out through your 9o-y: as he 'enetrates you to gone.
ogether: you o'en as such -ee' love all -isa''ears in the "ullness o" 9liss: light +elting all
hol-: love "illing all s'ace: an un9eara9le "ullness surren-ering o'en en-lessly: 9oun-lessly:
a9un-antly: no 'lace re+aining uno'ene-: untouche-: unreveale-.
Your orgas+ un"ol-s an- un"ol-s as never 9e"ore: love ri''ling you o'en: your "ace -renche-
in tears: your 9o-y in s3eat: 9right 9eyon- "or+. You are 9eing 9reathe- o'en in 9liss"ul
-eath: ravishe- o'en: una9le to hol- on: surren-ere- o'en 9y a "orce you are so -ee'ly: the
living light o" love that you al3ays al+ost $ne3 no3 shines so "ully: 3rac$ing you o'en in
un9eara9le 'leasure: your -ee'est 3o+9 gras'ing an- letting go: sei=ing an- releasing: the
'ulse o" the universe o'ening out "ro+ -ee' 9et3een your legs: o'ening out "ro+ -ee'
3ithin your 9elly: your heart given o'en "ully: all o" you given: o""ere- in utter -evotional
surren-er.
.or -ays: love8s 9liss "lo3s "reely through your 9o-y. Your +otions are "ull o" grace: your
"ace shining: s+ooth: an- ra-iant 3ith love8s "lo3. Your lover an- your "rien-s can "eel this
orgas+8s o'enness continuing to resoun- through your gestures: the 3ay you 3al$: the
e('ression in your eyes: the rela(e- tone o" your voice: surren-ering you o'en "or a long
ti+e a"ter the se(ual occasion has en-e-.
&urren-ering o'en to the "ullest "lo3 o" 'leasure can 9e an i+'ortant 'art o" o'ening "ully
an- o""ering your -ee'est love to the 3orl- an- to your +an i" you are in a relationshi'.
7ith 'ractice an- s$ill: solo or 3ith a 'artner: your orgas+ic ca'acity -ee'ens along 3ith
other as'ects o" your ca'acity to o""er your -ee'est heart. *ver ti+e: you +ay e('erience
-ee' orgas+s 3ithout any se(ual sti+ulation at all: si+'ly 3hile -ancing: or -oing yoga: or
9reathing "ully an- o""ering yoursel" o'en to !o- to ta$e.
Your 9o-y is 9uilt to 9e o'ene- 9y love an- to o'en as love8s o""ering. Love is 3ho you are:
an- love is the gi"t you are 9orn to give. 7ith 'ractice: you can learn to live o'en as
-evotional "ullness: as i" you 3ere receiving -ee' se(ual ravish+ent an- o""ering your
heart8s "ullest gi"ts through your 3hole 9o-y.
1o3 3oul- you 9e 9reathing right no3: sitting right no3: +oving right no3: i" your 9o-y 3ere
9eing entere- 9y a +an o" enor+ous love an- integrity: a +an 3ho "elt so -ee'ly into your
heart that you 3ere "orce- to reveal your +ost su9tle closure: ta$ing you o'en so
e(?uisitely you coul- har-ly 9ear to o'en in so +uch love an- trust>
o live o'en: your 9o-y can 'ractice "eeling se(ually o'en: 3hether or not you are having a
'hysical orgas+ or even having se(. hrough se( an- in every-ay li"e: you can 'ractice
11
"eeling: 9reathing: an- o""ering yoursel" o'en as i" the 'assionate "orce o" a -ivine lover
3ere entering you se(ually: o'ening your heart an- 9o-y as 3i-e as the universe shines.
/
Love an0 Fear
You an- I 9oth have our e(cuses "or not o'ening in love 3ith each other. &till: 9oth
o" our hearts yearn to o'en an- co++une in love. I 3ant to +a$e this co++it+ent
3ith youC I 3ill -o +y 9est to o'en through +y "ears an- truly see you: "eel you: an-
9loo+ you o'en to !o- 3ith +y love. 7ill you +eet +e in this co++it+ent> 7ill you
'ro+ise to o'en an- give your love8s o""ering as 9est as you can: even 3hen you are
a"rai- or hurt> I" 3e can each co++it to o'ening: there is no li+it to ho3 -ee'ly our
love can gro3 or ho3 "ully our gi"ts +ay "lo3er.
Your secret se(ual -esire is to 9e ravishe-: lovingly "orce- o'en in un9eara9le 'leasure: an-
ta$en "ully o'en to !o- 9y a +an o" -ee' s'iritual 3is-o+: strength: hu+or: sensitivity: an-
integrity. But your 'ast relationshi's 'ro9a9ly "ell short o" your -ee'est -esire "or a +an8s
loving: an- your current relationshi' is 'ro9a9ly also lac$ing. 7hy>
he love that is -ee' in your heart is 'ro9a9ly 9urie- un-er layers o" "rustration an- 'ain.
1o3 -i- these layers har-en aroun- the o'en yearning o" your heart>
&ince you 3ere a young 3o+an: you have 'ro9a9ly -rea+e- o" 9eing lovingly ta$en 9y a goo-
+an: a +an 3ho coul- truly $no3 you an- cherish your heart: a +an o" -ee' integrity: a +an
you coul- trust 3ith your li"e44a +an you coul- trust to ta$e you o'en into love8s -ee'est
9liss. Even no3: you 'ro9a9ly yearn to 9e ta$en 9y a +an 3ho truly sees your -ee'est
heart8s 9right love an- really $no3s your 9o-y: staying in touch 3ith your uni?ue energy as it
+oves an- changes.
&o+eti+es44'erha's rarely44your lover can 9e so 'resent 3ith you that your "ears rela( an-
your 9o-y o'ens. In these +agic +o+ents: you an- your lover connect so -ee'ly that your
hearts +erge as one. All se'aration -issolves. Your 9o-y is given over to hi+: an- his ten-er
strength o'ens you "urther than you can control. You +ay 3ee' an- tre+9le in his ar+s:
9eneath his 9o-y: hel- in his love: 'resse- o'en 9y the "orce o" his true -esire "or your
-ee'est heart.
hese +o+ents are s'ecial: an- "e3. Eventually: your +an 'ro9a9ly 9etrays you: either
9ecause he -esires another 3o+an +ore than you or 9ecause his love 9eco+es shallo3: his
se(ual nee-iness -isgusting. Even in +o+ents o" inti+acy: he -oesn8t touch your -ee'est
heart or even try. You $no3 he can love you o'en: 'erha's +ore than any +an ever has: an-
yet: over ti+e: he 9eco+es less intereste- in co++uning 3ith your -ee'est heart. 1e -ri"ts
into his career: "ocusing on his 'ro<ects: sitting in "ront o" the V: or satis"ying his nee-
"or su'er"icial se(ual release.
&o you 9egin to learn to live 3ith your hurt an- ta$e care o" yoursel". I" you can8t -e'en-
on a +an8s love: then you can only -e'en- on yoursel". You learn to ta$e control o" your li"e:
to gui-e yoursel" to your o3n -estination. But so+ething is still +issing: no +atter ho3
success"ul your career or ho3 co+"orta9le your li"e is. You still yearn to 9e ta$en 9y a
+an8s real love: to 9e truly seen an- o'ene- 9y your lover8s 'enetrating ga=e: touch: an-
'ro"oun- heart4-esire.
&ecretly: you still yearn to surren-er to a +an 3ho is 3orthy o" your trust. But you have not
+et hi+44an- 3orse: you have learne- that 3hen you surren-er o'en an- give yoursel"
12
co+'letely to a +an: you eventually get hurt. In the rare +o+ents 3hen your -e'th is
invite-: your 'ain co+es u' "irst an- you o"ten en- u' scaring your +an a3ay.
&o: you 9egin to -ou9t love. You lose trust in +en. You surroun- your 3oun-e- heart 3ith
shells o" e+otional 'rotection: ho'e"ully 'reventing +ore hurt. Your 9o-y -evelo's tensions
an- even -iseases a"ter years o" not surren-ering: not receiving -ee' love: not giving
yoursel" entirely: as you so long to -o 3ith every cell o" your 9eing. here is al3ays tension44
the tension o" not 9eing +et an- really stretche- o'en in the "ullness o" the love you are.
&o 3hen a +an "eels you: he "eels your shells. In your "ace: he sees the strain o" long hours
or years o" hol-ing your li"e together 3hile your -ee'est heart 3oul- rather have
surren-ere- o'en in ecstatic trust. In your gait: he "eels the stress o" uno""ere- 9o-ily
-evotion: 3hile your -ee' heart 3oul- rather have 9een a slave to love: co++an-e- o'en 9y
love8s torrential "lo3: un-ulate- 9y love8s 9oun-less 'leasure. Aroun- your heart: he senses
the F-o not tres'assF 3arning: an- so he hol-s hi+sel" 9ac$ "ro+ entering your li"e -ee'ly.
.e3 +en are ca'a9le o" entering a 3o+an8s heart an- o'ening her 9o-y to !o-8s 9liss: 9ut
"e3 3o+en are ca'a9le o" o""ering their heart an- 9o-y to 9e clai+e- o'en in this 3ay. .ear
is the "eeling o" re"usal. .ear is the "eeling o" +istrust. .ear is the heart8s contraction
that 3ith-ra3s o'enness 9ehin- 3alls o" 'rotection. .ear is the act o" unlove: the negation
o" love: the re"usal to o'en an- o""er love8s o'enness as your gi"t. Anything less than a li"e
o" total loving is "ear.
.ear44the re"usal to o'en as love44is the only reason your se(ual li"e an- relationshi' are
less than !o-49liss"ul. .ear "or+s shells aroun- your heart an- closes your 9o-y so that
love cannot +ove -ee'ly into you: clai+ing you: o'ening you: allo3ing you to trust -ee'er than
your sense o" sel". I" you truste- an- receive- love +ore -ee'ly: you 3oul- naturally
surren-er o'en: alive as the +ost 'o3er"ul "orce in the 3orl-C the -evotional o""ering o"
love.
#en are terri"ie- o" a 3o+an8s -e'th o" love an- the energy that +oves as a 3o+an8s
se(uality an- e+otions. An-: at the sa+e ti+e: +en 3ant nothing +ore in this li"e than to
+erge co+'letely 3ith a 3o+an8s -evotional love an- 3il- energy. *nly as a +an outgro3s his
"ear can he han-le a 3o+an8s tre+en-ous love4energy 3ithout running. An- only such a +an
is 3orthy o" your -evotional o""ering in a co++itte- inti+acy.
#ost +en can8t +eet you "ully. &o: though your heart an- 9o-y yearn to 9e ravishe- 9y real
love: you 9ury your heart8s longing un-er a li"e o" 9usyness: "a+ily: "rien-s: an-
-istractions. You learn to 'lo- on an- get things -one. You learn to seal o"" "ro+ your o3n
longing. You occu'y yoursel" 3ith chores an- to4-o lists. You "ocus on your "inancial goals: or
'erha's you -eci-e to give your li"e to serving a social cause or "ollo3ing a s'iritual 'ath.
You s'en- ti+e 3ith your "rien-s: en<oy travel: e(ercise an- ta$e care o" yoursel". An- still:
your heart yearns: 3hether you are alone or 3ith a +an 3ho is not -ee'ly clai+ing your
heart.
Hust as you have chosen to guar- your heart "or "ear o" 9eing hurt: the +an you attract 3ill
have chosen to clai+ li"e +ore shallo3ly than his true -e'th. 1e -ri"ts unco++itte- to total
love 9ecause he is a"rai- o" losing 3hat see+s li$e his "ree-o+.
Your relationshi' 3on8t 3or$ 9ecause his "ree-o+ is "alse an- your love is hi--enG you are
9oth a"rai-. You are un3illing to o""er yoursel" co+'letely 3ithout 'rotection: so you
attract a +an 3ithout the ca'acity or 3illingness to clai+ you co+'letely.
A co++it+ent to love re?uires o'ening 9eyon- these "ears. Your lover8s 3illingness to
inha9it your li"e as his o3n: to "eel your heart -ee'ly an- clai+ you o'en to love8s -ee'est
13
9liss: +ust gro344<ust as your 3illingness +ust gro3 to o""er your li"e an- heart as love:
even though you $no3 you 3ill 9e hurt an- 9etraye- in the "uture.
Even i" you -on8t have a lover in your li"e or i" your lover -oesn8t see+ a9le to +eet your
heart 3ith his "ull loving 'resence: you can learn to $ee' your heart o'en to the "lo3 o" love.
Your heart +ay hurt: your heart +ay yearn "or a -ee'er 3ay to give an- receive love 3ith
your +an: 9ut your heart4'ractice is to rela( o'en: 9reathing an- "eeling in connection 3ith
your lover an- all 9eings At heart: every9o-y 3ants only to give an- receive love.
You can 'ractice $ee'ing your heart o'en "or the sa$e o" love8s "ullness: even 3hen your
+an hurts you: even 3hen you are alone: even 3hen the 'ain an- yearning in your heart "eel
over3hel+ing. .or the sa$e o" love8s "ullest "lo3: you can allo3 your heart to yearn o'en:
-ee'ly receiving an- o""ering love 3ithout closing -o3n to 'rotect itsel".
hen: your li"e is +ove- not so +uch 9y your +an8s nee-s nor 9y your o3n nee-s o" sel"4
reliance: 9ut 9y the -ee' 3is-o+4"lo3 o" love: 3hich is alive as you an- at the heart o" all
9eings. You are "ul"ille- neither 9y a +an8s attention nor 9y ta$ing care o" yoursel": 9ut 9y
o'ening as love: "eeling the heart o" everyone: o""ering your heart o'en so love can +ove
you as it 3ill: o""ering your li"e as a gi"t o" love to all: inclu-ing your chosen +an.
All the +o+ents o" your li"e44+a$ing a 9usiness -eal: caring "or your chil-ren: arguing 3ith
your lover44can 9e a -ance o" love8s e+ergence: an o''ortunity "or o'ening your heart an-
o""ering your li"e to "lo3 o'en as love8s 3is-o+: love8s 'o3er: an- love8s in-estructi9le
vulnera9ility.
o live 3ith an o'en heart an- 9o-y +ove- 9y love is your only o'tion i" you 3ant to "ul"ill
your -ee'est -esire44to receive an- give love8s +ost "ull 9liss443ith or 3ithout a +an.
1
Your Se+ual E!!ence
I have chosen you as +y lover "or +any reasons. But I a+ +ost co+'elle- 9y the attraction
I "eel "or your "e+inine heart. I a''reciate +any o" your ?ualities such as your intelligence:
your sense o" hu+or: an- your insight449ut I also a''reciate those things in +y close
"rien-s: +y 9rothers an- sisters: even +y colleagues at 3or$.
Your s'ecial gi"t to +e is the uni?ue ?uality o" the "e+inine love you o""er. Your "e+inine
essence "ills +y li"e 3ith a love that is so inti+ate an- ten-er: +y heart o'ens at your sight.
I un-erstan- there is a lot +ore to you: 9ut you are +y chosen lover44rather than <ust +y
"rien-449ecause the a+9rosial light o" your "e+inine essence "ills +y heart an- 9rightens
+y 3orl- 3ith 9eauty: ins'iration: an- the unen-ing grace o" love8s a9un-ance.
You e+9o-y 9oth +asculine an- "e+inine ?ualities: although you +ay e('ress the+ in
-i""erent 'ro'ortions at -i""erent ti+es in your li"e.
I" you "in- it easy to navigate to3ar- your goals 9ut +ore -i""icult to -ance in 3hole49o-y
ecstasy: then your +asculine ?ualities are 'ro9a9ly +ore highly -evelo'e- than your
"e+inine.
I" you "in- it easy to "lo3 3hile +oving 3ith sensual 'leasure443hile sho''ing: -ancing:
+a$ing love: an- tal$ing 3ith "rien-s449ut +ore -i""icult to carry out long4ter+ 'ro<ects:
then your "e+inine is 'ro9a9ly +ore highly -evelo'e- than your +asculine.
Each 'erson can -evelo' 9oth +asculine an- "e+inine ?ualities 3ithin hi+ or her. 7ith your
+asculine: you can learn to -irect your li"e 3ith great clarity an- -isci'line to3ar- very
s'eci"ic goals as a 3ay to o""er your -ee'est heart8s gi"t to the 3orl-. 7ith your "e+inine:
you can learn to "lo3 lovingly in the +i-st o" chaos44a roo+ "ull o" 'laying chil-ren: a "rien-
14
so99ing in e+otional 'anic44o""ering your oceanic energy an- "ullness as a -ee' love4gi"t
"ro+ your heart.
Although you have 9oth +asculine an- "e+inine ?ualities an- gi"ts: at your core you have a
uni?ue se(ual essence. Your se(ual essence is your se(ual i-entity. It has nothing to -o 3ith
the gen-er o" your 9o-y. #an or 3o+an: your se(ual essence is -eter+ine- 9y 3hat your
heart i-enti"ies 3ith +ost -ee'lyC the un"ol-ing -ra+a o" the ever4changing "lo3 o" love an-
-ance o" li"e8s light or the +ission to3ar- unchanging an- eternal "ree-o+ o" consciousness.
Do you i-enti"y +ore 3ith love8s e99 an- "lo3 in your heart or the a-venture to3ar-
"ree-o+> At the +ovies: -o you cry +ore at love stories or at "il+s a9out <ustice an-
con?uering all o--s against an ene+y to 9e "ree> Are you +ore +ove- 9y love8s -ra+a or
"ree-o+8s +ission>
7hich 3or-s o" your lover turn you on +ore: se(ually> I+agine that your lover says to you:
FI trust you an- your +ission: an- I 3ill "ollo3 you any3here.F ;o3 i+agine that he says: FI
love you an- cherish the 9eauty o" light that I see in you: an- I clai+ your -ee'est heart as
+ine: "orever.F
I" you have a +asculine se(ual essence: then you are turne- on 9y a lover 3ho trusts your
-irection so +uch he is 3illing to surren-er to your clai+: su9+it ecstatically to your
strength o" 'enetrative love: an- "ollo3 you any3here.
I" you have a "e+inine se(ual essence: then you are turne- on 9y a lover 3ho sees the
9eauty o" your heart8s light an- 3ho "eels your love8s -e'th: 3orshi''ing your ra-iant heart
3ith his integrity: 'assionately clai+ing your li"e 3ith his strong 'resence.
A 'erson 3ho has a +asculine essence revels in challenge: "acing -eath: an- overco+ing all
o--s to succee- in a +ission o" "ree-o+: 3hether that is a ?uest "or "inancial: 'olitical:
artistic: or s'iritual li9eration. Even 3atching s'orts443hich are rituali=e- 3ars: challenges:
or "ights "or "ree-o+44can 9e so e+otionally +oving that a +asculine4essence 'erson o"ten
shouts an- screa+s +ore -uring a "oot9all ga+e than 3hile +a$ing love. Is this +ore li$e
you: or +ore li$e your lovers: 'ast an- 'resent>
#ost I9ut not allJ 3o+en have a se(ual essence that is +ore "e+inine than +asculine:
although the e(act 'ro'ortions vary an- each 'erson8s se(ual essence is uni?ue. hough you
+ay en<oy using your +asculine gi"ts to succee- in the 3orl-: -ee' -o3n you 'ro9a9ly have a
+ore "e+inine essence that yearns "or the "lo3 o" love +ore than a "ight "or "ree-o+:
although you +ay still "eel uncertain a9out 3hat you really 3ant.
Your +asculine FgoF an- "e+inine F"lo3F can 9e gi"ts: 9ut they can also 9e use- to create
shells o" sa"ety an- 'rotection: con"using you an- 'reventing your true se(ual essence "ro+
o""ering your -ee'est love an- gi"ts to your +an: your "a+ily: your "rien-s: an- the 3orl-.
You can ina-vertently hi-e 9ehin- your sche-ule 9oo$ an- the challenges o" your career:
3hile your true se(ual essence yearns to 9e seen an- touche-: your 9o-y aches to 9e ta$en:
an- the -ee'est heart o" your love re+ains unnotice- an- ungiven.
You can see+ stress"ully concerne- a9out 3here you are going in your li"e: even though:
-ee' -o3n: you +ay 9e +uch +ore concerne- a9out 3ho you are going 3ith an- ho3 love is
"lo3ing. You can get caught u' in the +asculine "ight to3ar- li9eration an- your +ission
to3ar- "ree-o+: even though the -ee' 9liss o" love: or its lac$: is +uch +ore central to your
"e+inine heart8s "ullness.
Your concern "or career an- sel"4su""iciency is o9viously healthy: 9ut your -ee'est
"ul"ill+ent +ay a3ait ris$ing your heart 3i-e o'en: o""ering your 9right love to all 9eings:
an- giving yoursel" to 9e clai+e-449y a +an o" integrity: 9y a "a+ily o" 9elove-s: 9y a 3orl-
15
that nee-s your love. Love is the only 3ay to live that 3on8t leave your "e+inine heart
"eeling unseen: ungiven: e+'ty: an- 3anting44no +atter ho3 success"ul your 'ro"essional li"e
+ay 9e.
2
Your True 3eart an0 t! Shell!
Li$e every +an or 3o+an: so+eti+es I 3ant to "lo3 an- en<oy "e+inine energy an-
so+eti+es I 3ant to go straight ahea- to3ar- a goal in the +asculine style 3ith no
interru'tions. But +y se(ual essence ha''ens to 9e +asculine: an- so I a+ attracte- to you:
a lover 3ith a "e+inine essence.
I $no3 3hat I 3ant se(ually "ro+ you: -ear lover. I 3ant to see your "e+inine light an- "eel
your invitation to +erge 3ith your "e+inine energy. I 3ant to enter an- clai+ your "e+inine
heart o'en to !o-. I 3ant to inha9it your loving surren-er an- o'en in love8s 9liss 3ith you
not si+'ly as "rien-s: 9ut as lovers in the 'lay o" 'assion an- ravish+ent.
An- yet I o"ten "eel you closing -o3n or 'ushing +e a3ay. &e(ually: I so+eti+es "eel your
col-ness an- resistance +ore than your <oy o" surren-er. I $no3 that so+eti+es it is +y
"ault. I have 9een insensitive or cruel. An- I $no3 so+eti+es you are <ust too tire- to o'en.
But there are ti+es that I -on8t "eel your heart o'en to receive +y love even 3hen you
see+ "ull o" energy an- I a+ "ully 'resent 3ith you.
I 3ant to en<oy -ee' se(ual loving 3ith you: 9ut I also 3ant 9oth o" us to o'en "or the sa$e
o" everyone. I 3ant our 9e-roo+ to 9e a 'alace o" 9liss: 9ut I also 3ant our hearts to give
their gi"ts all -ay: so 3e live as the "ul"ill+ent o" love: al3ays o'ening: "eeling everyone:
+a$ing love through all our -aily actions an- relationshi's. I 3ant you to o'en to +e an- I
3ant to give you everything: 9ut I also 3ant 9oth o" us to o'en: "eel: an- o""er ourselves to
everyone all -ay.
I ho'e that together 3e can li9erate our true hearts "ro+ our cages o" "ear. hen: our
9o-ies can +erge o'en in se(ual -elight an- our hours can co+e an- go as love all -ay.
I" you are li$e +ost 3o+en: you 3ere 9orn 3ith a +ore "e+inine se(ual essence. At heart:
you are +ore i-enti"ie- 3ith ever4changing li"e than 3ith changeless -eath44as a chil- you
en<oye- 'laying house +ore than 'laying 3ar. You en<oye- 'laying 3ith 'u''ies an- colors
an- +a$e4u' an- "lavors. You en<oye- getting clothing an- <e3elry44rather than 3ea'ons an-
ga+es o" challenge44"or 9irth-ay 'resents. You love- to 9e seen: 9ecause you are i-enti"ie-
3ith love8s light. Anything that a-orns your light44se?uins: s'ar$les: 9angles44+agni"ies your
ha''iness.
As a young 3o+an: you +ay have -rea+t o" +asculine saviorsC horses: 'o' stars: 3hite
$nights44any ani+al or hu+an: real or i+aginary: that coul- ta$e you so+e3here ne3:
so+e3here +agic. Dee' in your heart: you "elt that so+e-ay a +an 3oul- see your true
9eauty: your true light: your 9oun-less ocean o" love: an- ta$e you to the 'lace you al3ays
3ante- to 9eC surren-ere- o'en li$e the s$y "ille- 3ith +oonlight: ta$en 9y your 9elove-
into the 9right -o+ain o" love8s 9liss.
But at so+e 'oint: you 'ro9a9ly sto''e- trusting the yearning o" your o3n "e+inine heart.
You +ay have a9sor9e- the anti4"e+inine attitu-e o" your culture. *r 'ossi9ly your "a+ily
strongly e+'hasi=e- +asculine values.
.or one reason or another: you 'ro9a9ly 9eca+e convince- that it is 9etter44stronger44to
navigate "or yoursel": to ta$e yoursel" so+e3here rather than trust to 9e ta$en 9y love.
You 9eca+e su''resse- in your -esire to 9e seen an- 3orshi''e- as love8s light. You ca+e to
16
9elieve that gui-ing your li"e8s -irection is +ore i+'ortant than trusting the "atho+less
love43is-o+ that "lo3s naturally "ro+ your -ee'est heart8s ra-iance.
#ay9e your 'arents "oun- your little sister +ore 'retty than you: so you 'rotecte- your
crushe- heart 3ith a shell o" +asculine a+9itionC F#y little sister +ay 9e 'retty: 9ut I8+
going to 9e a scientist@F 5erha's you "elt ho3 your +other 3as restricte- an- 9elittle- 9y
your "ather: so you 'rotecte- your vulnera9le heart 3ith a shell o" +asculine controlC
F;o9o-y is going to tell +e 3hat to -o. I8+ going to 9e the ca'tain o" +y o3n shi'@F
I" you chose to 9e a scientist 9ecause you love- science: or you chose to navigate your o3n
li"e 9ecause that 3as your greatest 9liss: then such -ecisions 3oul- 9e healthy an- heart
"ul"illing. But i" you choose to 9e a scientist 9ecause your 'arents ignore- your ra-iance an-
your heart 3as crushe-: or i" you chose to gui-e your o3n li"e 9ecause you -i-n8t 3ant to 9e
hurt li$e your +other 3as: then you have create- shells 9uilt o" "ear rather than a li"e
+ove- 9y the o'enness o" love.
As you gro3 "ro+ chil-hoo- to your teenage years: you +ay 9uil- yet another shell. You 3ant
9oys to 9e intereste- in you. 1o3ever: the attractive 9rightness o" your "e+inine ra-iance
re+ains hi--en 9ehin- your shells o" "ear49ase- +asculine -irectionality that surroun- your
crushe- an- unac$no3le-ge- heart. &o: on to' o" this ac?uire- +asculine shell o" 'rotection:
you 9egin to create a shell o" su'er"icial "e+inine e('ression.
You 9uy the <eans that all the 'o'ular girls at school are 3earing: chec$ing out your 9utt in
the +irror: 3on-ering i" this 3ill get the 9oys to 3ant you. You s'en- hours 'urchasing an-
trying on not only clothing 9ut also <e3elry: "ragrances: an- +a$e4u'44not as loving
a-orn+ents o" your a9un-ant ra-iance: 9ut 9ecause you "eel love lac$ing. You "eel unseen
an- un3orthy 9ecause the +asculine shell you ac?uire- as a chil- is hi-ing the "ull love an-
true shine o" your heart.
Your true "e+inine heart o" vulnera9le love4ra-iance44crushe- or negate- in chil-hoo-44has
9eco+e surroun-e- 9y a +asculine shell o" "earC FBecause +y love4light is ina-e?uate: I8ll
-irect +y li"e to3ar- success so I a+ 3orthy o" love.F In your teenage years: a "e+inine
shell o" "ear is then a--e-C FEnless I +a$e +y sur"ace shine: 9oys 3on8t notice +e.F
Alrea-y: as a teenager: the love4ra-iance o" your true "e+inine essence is hi--en 9ehin- a
+asculine shell o" 'rotective an- assertive -irectionality an- a "e+inine shell o" su'er"icial
Fsee +e:F lac$ o" sel"43orth: an- covert +ani'ulation o" +en8s attention.
Beneath all your shells: your -ee' heart is al3ays "ull o" love8s light. &o: at heart: sho3ing
o'en as light an- "lo3ing o'en as love8s o""ering is the +ost ecstatic an- true 3ay to live.
But your ac?uire- shells have their o3n voiceC FBeauty is only s$in -ee'.F F#y +in- is +ore
i+'ortant than +y 9o-y.F FI can8t trust +en.F FI" I 3ant a +an8s love I8ve got to +a$e hi+
3ant +e.F F#y 'ro"essional goals are +ore crucial to +y li"e8s ha''iness than 3ho I go 3ith
or ho3 +uch love I o""er through +y li"e an- every 9reath.F
hese are all lies: an- your -ee' "e+inine heart $no3s it. Yet: you are con"use-: 9ecause
your shells can 9e so strong. You can co+e to 9elieve the lies o" your shells: an- there"ore:
you can live an entire li"e 9etraying your -ee'est -esireC to 9e recogni=e- as light: a-ore-
an- 3orshi''e- as love8s ra-iance: o""ering yoursel" as a gi"t o" love to 9e clai+e- 9y true
-ivine +asculine integrity: ravishe- o'en to !o- 9y love8s -ee'est clai+ o" your heart.
5erha's you try to trust a +an an- he eventually leaves you. Again you "eel 9etraye-: so
no3: again "ro+ "ear: you 9uil- yet another shell44Fin-e'en-ent career 3o+anF44that 3ill
'rotect you "ro+ 9eing hurt or le"t in the col- 9y a +an8s untrusta9le co++it+ent. I" your
career is an e('ression o" your love: then your heart can 9e "ully o""ere- through your
17
'ro"ession. But i" you are 9uil-ing a career 9ecause you are a"rai- o" 9eing hurt an-
a9an-one- again: then "ear is 3oven into the "oun-ation o" your choices: an- your career 3ill
al3ays 9e tainte- 9y -ou9t: loneliness: stress: an- lac$ o" heart4"ul"ill+ent.
Your ra-iant "e+inine heart o" love +ay no3 9e surroun-e- 9y a shell o" +asculine i+'etus
I9ecause your sister 3as 'rettier than you or +asculine values 3ere +ore i+'ortant in your
"a+ilyJ: 3hich is surroun-e- 9y a shell o" "e+inine gloss I9ecause your sur"ace is 3hat 9oys
loo$ atJ: 3hich is surroun-e- 9y a shell o" +asculine a+9ition I9ecause you are a"rai- o"
9eing "inancially -e'en-ent on a +an againJ.
hese shells +ay have 9eco+e rigi-i"ie- in your 9o-y: so your orgas+s are shallo3 an- your
"ace crease- 3ith tension. hese shells con"use your +in- 3ith con"licting -esires: no3 "or
in-e'en-ence an- sa"ety: no3 to 9e s3e't o"" your "eet 9y a -angerous +an: no3 to succee-
on your o3n. hese shells 9loc$ your genuine e+otional currents: so you "eel stuc$:
so+eti+es nu+9: so+eti+es enrage-: so+eti+es hysterical: 9ut not very o"ten -oes your
-ee'est ocean o" love4light s'ontaneously e+erge as "ree: uno9structe- 3aves o" heart4
o'en e+otional "lo3: 3ith the universe or 3ith a +an.
.urther+ore: your shells attract +en 3ith reci'rocal shells: +en 3ho have long ago lost
touch 3ith their -ee' +asculine heart o" truth: 'ur'ose: an- i+'ecca9le loving. &hells o" lies
surroun- your crushe- heart: so you attract +en 3ho are also crushe- at heart an- 3ho are
surroun-e- 9y lies. hese +en lie not only to you: 9ut also to the+selves. hese +en live a
lie: <ust li$e you -o.
5ro9a9ly: -ee' in your heart: you -rea+ o" 9eing 3ith a +an o" great integrity: a lover o"
such care: strength: hu+or: 3is-o+: an- -e'th o" love that you can trust hi+ utterly:
surren-ering 3i-e o'en to 9e 9liss"ully ta$en "urther o'en 9y love8s ravishing "orce: so your
-ee'est heart is e('ose- to !o-8s in"inite <oy: an- your 9o-y 9loo+s in uncontrolla9le 3aves
o" -ivine 'leasure.
An- yet: you +ay "eel +ore 9alance-44e?ually +ove- 9y +asculine an- "e+inine +otivations44
9ecause ste' 9y ste' throughout your li"e you have 9etraye- your heart8s -ee'est -esire as
you ac?uire- shells o" "ear that create con"usion: neutrali=ing your -ee'est heart8s
yearning.
*ne shell is 9uilt o" your "ear o" 9eing -e'en-ent: so it -rives you to achieve a sense o"
e+otional autono+y an- sel"4reliance. Another shell is 9uilt o" your "ear that you are not
attractive enough: so it causes you to co+'are yoursel" to other 3o+en: -ressing an- acting
in 3ays to attract +en even though you 3oul-n8t trust +ost +en to enter you any3ay: so you
'rotect your heart an- 9o-y even as you -o your 9est to hoo$ +en8s attention.
You 3ant the "ree-o+ to -ress ho3ever you 3antG you 3ant +en to res'ect you as a 'erson
an- not treat you li$e an o9<ectG you 3ant +en to "in- you se(y 9ut not harass youG you 3ant
a trusta9le +an to co++it his love to youG you 3ant a +an to give you s'ace an- honor your
o3n -ecisionsG you $no3 you are ca'a9le o" -ee' loveG you hol- 9ac$ your love 9ecause your
heart is a"rai- o" 9eing hurt againG you +ove your 9o-y 3ith +asculine -irection to achieve
"inancial in-e'en-enceG you are tire- an- stresse- an- your "e+inine 9o-y is aching to 9e
love- 9eneath your +istrust44all o" your shells 9lur together an- neutrali=e the true se(ual
gi"ts o" your essence.
&o 3hen a +an "eels you: he no longer "eels your -ee' gi"ts o" love: 9ut your shells. 1e "eels
your -esire "or in-e'en-ence an- your -esire to 9e 3ante-. 1e "eels your 'ush an- your
'ull. 1e "eels +o+ents 3hen your heart surren-ers to 9e ta$en: an- +o+ents 3hen your
'rotection shiel-s your heart "ro+ 9eing hurt.
18
1e is 'ro9a9ly as con"use- a9out his -ee'est 'ur'ose as you are a9out your -ee'est -esire
"or love. &o: instea- o" 'ersisting in co++itte- loving: 'eeling a3ay layer a"ter layer o" your
resistance: lovingly clai+ing your true se(ual essence so you can o""er your o'en heart as a
-ivine gi"t44instea-: he casually en<oys 3hat he can an- +oves on to a less co+'licate-
3o+anG you a''ear to 9e ?uite attache- to your in-e'en-ence: any3ay.
You +ay in-ee- have a genuinely 9alance- se(ual essence44a s+all 'ercentage o" 3o+en -o44
9ut chances are you actually have a "e+inine se(ual essence that is neutrali=e- 9y layer
a"ter layer o" ac?uire- +asculine an- "e+inine shells o" "ear: an- so you are creating
con"usionC 7hat is your -ee'est heart8s -esire>
I" you have a "e+inine se(ual essence: then you 3ant to 9e truly seen: entere- at heart:
o'ene- as love: an- -ance- 9y love8s light. You are the as'ect o" this +o+ent8s -ivine
revelation that sho3s 1ersel" as love8s ra-iance: an-: naturally: you yearn to 9e ta$en 9y
your +an8s trusta9le: 'enetrating 'resence -ee'er an- 3i-er than you can 9ear: 9liss"ully.
Li$e3ise: he yearns to +erge 3ith your light. his yearning reveals itsel" as the one -ivine
o'enness o" love $no3ing itsel" through t3o 9o-ies.
You 3ant to 9e ravishe- 9y your lover8s -esire to enter you an- +erge 3ith your heart: an-
he 3ants to 9e invite- 9y your surren-er: the -is'lay o" your 9o-y8s 'leasure an- the
o""ering o" your heart to 9e ta$en: entere-: an- o'ene- 9eyon- "or+. his is ho3 t3o
hu+an 9o-ies 9eco+e one o'enness o" love: e('ressing the -ivine revelation o"
consciousness an- light: the inter'enetrating 1e an- &he o" every +o+ent. his is true se(
an- -ivinity.
rue se( is a9out -ivine inti+ate co++union: heart4to4heart 3orshi': o'ening as love8s 9liss:
o""ering your -ee'est gi"ts to each other. his t3o49o-ie- se(ual o""ering 're'ares you "or
o'ening 9eyon- yoursel" so you can o""er your -ee'est gi"ts in every +o+ent to all 9eings:
o'ening as love8s light through every 9o-y.
7ith 'ractice: your +an learns to ta$e every +o+ent o'en to love8s -e'th: "earlessly an-
relentlessly: an- you learn to "ully receive every +o+ent -ee'ly into your heart44so you are
actively receiving the ravish+ent o" -ivine 'resence: 'leasura9ly F"orce-F o'en 9y the
+o+ent8s thic$ "ullness: o""ering your heart8s ra-iant surren-er to enlighten the 3orl-
alive as uninhi9ite- love.
As you gro3 +ore o'en as love8s "ullest o""ering: you still en<oy your career: your success:
an- your li"e8s -irection as +uch as you 3ant: 9ut you -on8t "orget your heart8s -ee'est
-esire44you no longer negate your heart8s yearning to give an- receive love: to 9e clai+e-
o'en to !o-8s -e'th an- o""ere- o'en as love8s light through the heart o" all 9eings.
Eventually: you reali=e that sel"4su""iciency is a transition 'hase. You are not res'onsi9le
only "or yoursel"G you are res'onsi9le "or everyone. Your heart naturally o'ens 3ith an-
"eels other hearts. Your heart naturally res'on-s to the heart4yearning o" others. Instea-
o" -enying your o3n nee-s or li+iting your love to sel"4reliant in-e'en-ence: you reali=e
that: +ore than anything else: you actually yearn to live o'en as a -evotional o""ering o"
love.
Are you rea-y to "eel your heart8s -ee'est yearning an- the yearning at everyone8s heartC
to receive love: to give love: to live o'en as love8s "ullest light>
You +ay choose to 9e a cor'orate e(ecutive: an attorney: or a 9a$er. You +ay choose to
raise a "a+ily: start a school: or +anage an organi=ation. 7hat you -o 3ith your li"e is less
i+'ortant than ho3 you live itC encase- in shells o" "ear or 3i-e o'en: actively receiving
!o-8s i++ense 3eight o" love: ravishe- to your heart8s core 9y -ee'ly "eeling every
19
+o+ent8s -ivine intensity an- 'resence: o""ering your love to enlighten the hearts o" all
those aroun- you: inclu-ing your lover.
14
O&&ering or Betra#ing Your 3eart
As +uch as I love you: 3e are not alone. hrough loving you: I have learne- to o'en +y heart
an- "eel everyone8s heart. heir love is +y love: as is yours. heir su""ering is +y su""ering:
as is yours. Hust as I a+ co++itte- to loving you o'en to !o-: I a+ co+'elle- to clai+ the
3orl- as +y lover 3ho I +ust -o +y 9est to enter an- o'en to !o-.
I a+ a"rai-: at ti+es: to enter you an- the 3orl-. I shrivel an- see$ re"uge in 'rivate
co+"orts. I can "eel your res'onse to +y o""ering or +y lac$. 7hen I shrin$ an- hol- 9ac$
+y gi"ts: your "ace sho3s 'ain. 7hen I "eel through +y "ear an- o""er everything I can "or
the sa$e o" o'ening you an- the 3orl- to !o-: then your "ace shine8s 3ith love8s 9rightness.
I see everything in you. I see +y "ear an- courage re"lecte- in your "ace: 9ut I also "eel
everyone8s resistance an- invitation re"lecte- in your 9o-y. You are so sensitive: -ear lover.
Your 9o-y is so rea-y to o'en into the sha'e o" your surroun-ings. But 3ith +e an- others
you have o"ten 9een encircle- 9y love8s lac$. I can "eel years o" love8s a9sence still
har-ene- in your 9o-y: an- I so 3ant to "eel you o'en an- receive +y love.
he "airy tale has as$e- you to 9elieve that i" you "in- the right +an an- give hi+ 3hat he
3ants an- nee-s: then he 3ill love you "orever. But it -oesn8t 3or$ out that 3ay. You can8t
-e'en- on his love. 1e either 3an-ers to 3o+en he "in-s +ore attractive than you: or he
stays 3ith you: 9ut -oesn8t continue to enter your heart -ee'ly. 1e +ay even 3ant to love
you -ee'ly: 9ut he -oesn8t $no3 ho3.
Your lover 'ro9a9ly isn8t a3are o" the constant su""ering you e('erience -ue to his shallo3
'resence. 1e is sitting ne(t to you44or lying on to' o" you44an- still he is tra''e- in his o3n
thoughts: his o3n sensations: his gri-4li$e 3orl- o" 'ro<ects: goals: an- 'lans. 1is e+otions
see+ so narro344he8s ha''y 3hen he8s succee-ing in li"e an- unha''y 3hen he8s "ailing44an-
your e+otions see+ so "ull: 3i-e: an- e(tre+e. 1e runs a3ay 3hen you allo3 your e+otions
to "lo3 unconstraine-. 1e can8t really -eal 3ith your "ull e+otional strength an- se(ual
-esire "or -e'th. 1e +ight even thin$ you are cra=y.
In the en-: 3hether the t3o o" you se'arate "or 3hat you 9oth ho'e are greener 'astures
or 3hether you stay together44see+ingly satis"ie- on the outsi-e 9ut -ying: yearning "or
+ore: on the insi-e44you eventually settle "or less than your heart $no3s is 'ossi9le. You
a-a't the +inutes o" your -ay to 3or$ing: ta$ing care o" your "a+ily: an- tal$ing 3ith
"rien-s. An- at the en- o" the -ay: in 9e- 3ith your lover or alone: you are e(hauste- an-
stresse- "ro+ living a lie: your 9o-y not un-ulating in 'leasure: your heart not 9lo3n4o'en as
all4light. Your -ee'est love is 3aiting: 3aiting: "a-ing.
#en 9eco+e a+9iguous an- less 'resent
I" your +an8s heart is surroun-e- 9y shells: then he loses touch 3ith his li"e8s truth: his
-ee' heart4-irection. 1e 9egins to live a lie. 1e $no3s he isn8t giving his -ee'est gi"t to you
or the 3orl-. 1e $no3s he has sol- out on his real -rea+. 1e has settle- "or co+"ort an-
security.
;othing hurts a +an8s heart +ore than "eeling that he -oes not $no3 his -ee'est 'ur'ose44
or i" he -oes: that he8s a"rai- to live it. &o: i" your +an is li$e +ost: his -ee' heart is
20
su""ering tre+en-ously44not 9ecause o" a lac$ o" inti+acy in his relationshi': 9ut 9ecause
he "eels lost an- he $no3s he is 3asting his li"e.
1e is a"rai- to 'otentially lose the co+"ort an- security o" his "a+ily: ho+e: +oney: or
health: so he hol-s 9ac$ "ro+ -oing the only thing that 3ill cure his heart8s 'ainC 1e is
a"rai- to co++it his li"e to -iscovering his -ee'est truth: uncovering his -ee'est gi"t: an-
giving his -ee'est love 3ithout co+'ro+ise to you: his "a+ily: an- the entire 3orl-. 1e is
a"rai- to 9e "ree o" "ear since it 3ill cost hi+ everything he has ever ac?uire- or $no3n.
he only 3ay "or a +an to 9e "ree is to -ie in every +o+ent: to let go o" everything: "eel
the -ee'est truth o" his heart: an- o""er hi+sel" to you an- everyone 3ithout hol-ing 9ac$.
1is -e'th o" consciousness: e('resse- through his uni?ue gi"ts: is all he has to o""er: an- it
is all you really 3ant. You 3ant his un-ivi-e- 'resence: his true an- genuine love4
co++it+ent: his heart e('ose- an- 3i-e o'en to "eel yours.
7hen your +an is o""ering you or the 3orl- less than his -ee'est truth: you can "eel it: an-
you su""er the stress o" his a+9iguity an- "ear. 7hen you are inti+ate 3ith a +an 3ho is
living this $in- o" lie44acting out a 'reten- li"e o" co+"ort an- security yet ungiven "ro+ his
true heart44ho3 coul- you o'en to hi+ se(ually>
1o3 coul- you o'en your heart an- 9o-y "ully to a +an 3ho -oesn8t even $no3 3hat his
heart truly 3ants> ;aturally: your heart an- 9o-y close to such a +an: 'rotecting your
-ee'est o'enness "ro+ 9eing violate- 9y a +an8s a+9iguous 'o$e. Even though you +ay truly
love your +an: you are also -isguste- 9y his "alse "ace: his lac$ o" -e'th: genuine
co++it+ent: an- heart4-irection.
o survive: your +an has 'ro9a9ly nu+9e- hi+sel" to the horri9le 'ain o" not $no3ing his
-ee'est 'ur'ose. 1e has s'ent years in trivial 'ursuits o" shallo3 goals: an- has settle- "or
3hatever success he has +anage- to ac?uire. Yet: you can "eel he is lost: no +atter ho3
success"ul he tells hi+sel" he is.
You are e(?uisitely sensitive to his -ee' 'otential44his genuine gi"ts an- "ully4o""ere-
heart44an- you are e?ually sensitive to his sel"4-ece'tion: the 3ay he lies to hi+sel": the
-istance he creates 9et3een hi+sel" an- his o3n heart8s -esire: an- 9et3een hi+sel" an-
your heart8s -esire. his -istance hurts you. 1is "alse satis"action hurts you. 1is nu+9ness
to his o3n su""ering an- to yours "rustrates you: eventually evo$ing your anger. You 3ant his
"ullness44not only "or you 9ut also "or his o3n sa$e an- the sa$e o" all 9eings44an- he see+s
una9le to even "eel 3hat you are tal$ing a9out.
7hen your +an lives 9ehin- shells o" "ear rather than o'ening an- o""ering his heart8s
-ee'est o""ering: his consciousness 9eco+es 3ea$ene- an- shiel-e- in nu+9ness "e- 9y lies
sustaine- 9y shallo3 a+9ition.
7ith ti+e: your +an8s 'resence retracts into his o3n little 3orl-. You can8t "eel hi+ 3ith
you: even 3hen he is entering you se(ually. *" course your se(ual li"e is shallo344your +an
has 9eco+e shallo3: an- he can8t even "eel it any+ore: so thoroughly have his shells encase-
his heart.
7o+en 9eco+e 9o-ily stresse- an- heart4close-
o 'rotect your o3n heart "ro+ 9eing ina-vertently ra'e- 9y your sel"4centere- lover8s
lac$ o" "eeling an- a3areness: you have 'ut u' your o3n 3alls. Your -ee' vagina is resistant
to his +echanical thrusts. Your heart is shiel-e- "ro+ his -isconnecte- 3or-s o" criticis+
an- insult. Every ti+e you try to o'en to your +an: he -i+inishes your e('erience: as i" your
"eelings 3ere 3rong: sic$: or your 'ro9le+.
21
1e as$s you ho3 you are "eeling: 9ut your "eelings are too huge an- co+'le( to s?uee=e into
a si+'le ans3er. &o he a9uses you 3ith +ore ?uestions: convincing you that you are too
-e'en-ent on hi+: that you nee- to 9e +ore res'onsi9le "or yoursel": an- that your
Fe+otional 'ro9le+sF are your o3n an- have nothing to -o 3ith hi+.
Your e('erience is that his heart is yoursG ho3 he lives his li"e44even the nuances o" 3here
his attention goes: i" he "i-gets: or his su9tle changes in tone o" voice44a""ects your heart
intensely. 1e see+s to 9e a9le to live in a sel"4enclose- 3orl- 3here he can 'ursue his goals
a'art "ro+ 3hatever is ha''ening 3ith you. 1o3ever: your heart is -irectly lin$e- to his: as
i" threa-s o" "eeling 3ere connecting the t3o o" you: so your heart soars or sin$s 3ith his
heart44an- so -oes your trust.
his is not a 3ea$ness on your 'art: although your +an +ay try to convince you that it is.
Your "e+inine heart is +uch +ore sensitive to the "lo3 o" energy an- e+otion than his
+asculine heart. In "act: your heart is +uch +ore res'onsive to the -e'th o" his
consciousness44ho3 'resent or not he is 3ith you an- in his li"e44than he is. 1e is nu+9 to
his o3n lac$ o" 'resence an- 9lin- to ho3 he actively shallo3s his heart: 3ra''ing u' his
attention in trivial 9ut all4consu+ing 'ro<ects an- thoughts.
Your heart4sensitivity can 9e a great gi"t to hi+. Your su""ering: "ully an- res'onsively
e('resse-: can teach hi+ +uch a9out ho3 his sel"4enclose- an- un"eeling consciousness is
'aining the entire 3orl-. Your heart8s vulnera9le strength can ins'ire his -ee'est gi"ts an-
evo$e his co++it+ent to o'en an- give his love to you an- the 3orl- 3ithout "ear443hich is
the "ree-o+ he +ost -ee'ly -esires. But you can only hel' hi+ i" you are o'en.
Chances are: a"ter years o" shallo3 +en: you have close- to 'rotect yoursel" "ro+ constant
heart su""ering. *ther3ise: you 3oul- have gone insane. Every ti+e your +an -ri"ts:
scratches an itch unconsciously: 3astes ti+e in "ront o" the V: 'reten-s to 9e inti+ate
3ith you 9ut actually is 'reoccu'ie- in his o3n thoughts an- sensations44every ti+e your +an
is less than "ully 'resent 3ith you or 9etraying his o3n -e'th: hol-ing 9ac$ his gi"ts in "ear
an- nu+9ness: your heart is crushe-.
&o: you have 'ro9a9ly traine- yoursel" to "eel less. You can lay 9eneath a +an 3hile he
hu+'s you an- at least -erive a 9it o" shallo3 clitoral 'leasure44a+i-st the tragic heart4'ain
o" not 9eing ravishe- o'en to !o- 9y his "eeling4"orce an- -ee' 'resence. You can sit an-
listen to your +an tal$ a9out his stu'i- 'ro<ects 3ithout shouting an- screa+ing: F7a$e u'@
*'en your heart@ You are 3asting your li"e an- $illing +e 3ith your +e-iocrity@F
Your hurt an- anger are hi--en 9eneath shells o" civili=e- stressC You 'ursue your o3n
interests: s'en- ti+e 3ith your "rien-s: an- try not to co+'lain too +uch to your +an. I"
you let out 3hat you really "eel a9out ho3 he treats you: you 3oul- either scare hi+ a3ay
3ith your churning anguish or cho' his hea- o"" 3ith your rage.
But at least he is 3illing to share a ho+e 3ith you: at least you share a -ecent li"e: so it8s
not 3orth ris$ing 3hat you -o share "or the sa$e o" 3hat you +ost -ee'ly -esire. You are
9etraying your -ee'est heart as +uch as your +an is. You are settling "or shallo3 love <ust
li$e your +an is settling "or shallo3 'ur'ose. You 9oth $no3 there is a -ee'er 3ay to live:
yet you are 9oth hol-ing 9ac$ your -ee'est gi"ts o" love: not o""ering yourselves "ully to
each other or to the 3orl-.
1is shallo3ness e('resses itsel" as a+9iguity: 'ur'oselessness: an- lac$ o" 'resence. Yours
sho3s itsel" through your 9o-y. Your shells o" 'rotection literally enclose your heart: your
vagina: your 9elly44all the +ost vulnera9le an- so"t 'arts o" your "lesh are har-ene- against
the 9arrage o" insult: a9use: an- re<ection that your +an8s ai+less thrusts cause you.
22
he +ost "e+inine 'arts o" your 9o-y +ay 9eco+e -isease-: or at least close- -o3n to
'leasure. Your energy 9eco+es 9loc$e-: your e+otions su''resse-. Your true heart8s -esire
gets 9urie- so -ee'ly that you +ay no longer even ho'e "or anything +ore than a -ecent
relationshi'. Your -ee' -esire to 9e ta$en: ravishe-: o'ene-: an- 9liss"ully o""ere- to !o-
as un9oun-e- love has all 9ut -isa''eare- 9ehin- years o" -evastation: "rustration: an-
9etrayal.
You an- your +an are no longer ho'ing to 9e "ul"ille- 9y so+eone else. You have gro3n
9eyon- -e'en-ence. But you are 'ro9a9ly stuc$ in a 'hase o" sel"4reliance. You have
'ro9a9ly 9eco+e tra''e- in the 9elie" that you can only +a$e yoursel" ha''yC You are
res'onsi9le "or your o3n ha''iness: your lover is res'onsi9le "or his: an- to give your heart
3ithout hol-ing 9ac$ any in reserve "or yoursel" is a sign o" 3ea$ness. his results in a
terri9le an- constant sense o" se'aration.
Beyon- the nee-s "or -e'en-ence an- in-e'en-ence: you can learn to love so your shells
so"ten an- you gro3 o'en 3ithout 'rotection. Your -ee'est heart8s -esire can 9e allo3e- to
'ercolate u' "ro+ your -e'ths an- e('ress your genuine love out3ar- through every 'art o"
your 9o-y. As you learn to ten-erly o'en your shells o" 'rotection: you can actively receive
the ravish+ent you have al3ays 3ante- an- "ully o""er your love as a gi"t to all.
7hen you are rea-y: you can o'en 9eyon- the sa"ety o" sel"4res'onsi9ility "or one 9o-y.
You can +erge o'en in t3o49o-ie- se(ual -evotion. You can o'en to "eel an- 9reathe all44
your lover: your "a+ily: your "rien-s: everyone44in the "ull o""ering o" your heart8s
o'enness.
You can live as -ivine love: o'ening an- 9reathing as this entire +o+ent. You can o""er your
li"e as i" this +o+ent8s 'resence 3ere entering you -ee'ly li$e a lover8s intense clai+: your
9o-y -ance- 9y love8s un9loc$e- currents: your heart o'en as an o""ering: 9reathing as "ar
as you can see an- "eel. You can o'en as the love that lives as all.
11
The T5o.Bo0ie0 6la# o& Love
In the 'ast: 3hen I 3as +ore sel"4centere-: I nee-e- you to +a$e +e "eel goo- a9out
+ysel". hen: 3hen I gre3 +ore o'en an- 9eca+e +ore 3e4centere-: I 3ante- you to <oin
3ith +e as a tea+: so 3e coul- 3or$ together an- create a goo- li"e "or ourselves an- 3ith
our "rien-s. But no3 I nee- your love in a -i""erent 3ay.
I still en<oy "eeling goo- 3ith +ysel": 3ith you: an- 3ith our "rien-s. But your love invites
+e 9eyon- +y o3n thoughts an- e+otions. Your surren-er -ra3s +e even -ee'er than all
9o-ies.
7or-s cannot -escri9e the un9oun-e- 'lace your love illu+ines. 1ere: no3: -ee'er than +y
o3n heart yet +ore o'en then the "arthest reaches I can see: your love a3a$ens an
o'enness o" 9liss.
his 9liss isn8t -i""erent "ro+ anything. #y "eet: your s+ile: the trees are all +a-e o" this
9liss: this o'enness: this love. here are no 3or-s "or that 3hich is not other than any thing:
an- yet o'ens -ee'er than everything: an- s'rea-s 3i-er than all. his o'enness is 3here
your love invites +e to a3a$en. I long to ravish you o'en to !o- here. his is the o'enness
23
3e are 9orn o" an- the o'enness 3e -ie into. his is the love that our t3o 9o-ies re+e+9er
through their e+9race 3hen 3e allo3 our yearning to o'en 3ithout en-.
I" you have a +ore "e+inine se(ual essence: your strength is your -evotional ca'acity to
o'en to !o- in t3o49o-ie- "or+. Yearning o'en 3ith your lover: you 9eco+e t3o 3ho o'en as
one love.
6ather than only 9eing res'onsi9le "or your o3n 9o-y to o'en: you 9eco+e res'onsi9le "irst
"or o'ening as love through t3o 9o-ies 3ith your lover: then "or o'ening as love through all
9o-ies. Love is o'enness. his o'enness yearns at the heart o" everyone. hrough t3o4
9o-ie- 'ractice: you learn to "eel an- 9reathe this yearning at every9o-y8s heart an-
surren-er o'en as the love that lives the universe.
7hile +a$ing love: you an- your +an 'ractice o'ening 9eyon- sel"4enclosure. Your
surren-ere- yearning -ra3s your +an 9eyon- his "ear"ul shells: into you: -ee'ly into your
9o-y an- heart. 1e yiel-s his last hol- o" se'aration an- enters "ully into your love: gui-ing
your surren-er even as he -issolves 3ith you: o'ening as one love.
As one love 'assionately e+erging through t3o 9o-ies: your 'leasure is a -ee' un"ol-ing:
3ave u'on 3ave o" ever -ee'ening surren-er: o'ening out44not to your +an: since your +an
an- you are unse'arate: 9ut o'ening out -ee'er than your yearning an- 3i-er than the s$ies:
3ithout en-. 1is love: your love: is a"la+e "ro+ source to en-less o'enness. Your 9o-ies an-
hearts surren-er o'en to "eel an- 9reathe the o'enness o" all hearts: even as orgas+ic
3aves o" un9eara9le 9liss continue carrying love 3i-er o'en.
.or -ays a"ter such love+a$ing: your 9o-y rever9erates 3ith love8s resonance. Your 3o+9 is
rela(e- an- "ull. Your "ace is so"t an- 9right. Your heart is rela(e- o'en: unshelle-: an- so
you can "eel an- 9reathe the love at the heart o" everyone.
ogether: in t3o49o-ie- -evotion: you an- your +an can o"ten o'en +ore -ee'ly than your
in-ivi-ual ha9its other3ise allo3. Your love -e+an-s his: an- his love -e+an-s yours. Your
"e+inine heart can o""er a -evotional o'enness so inviting that your lover has no choice 9ut
to co+e to "ull 'resence through his "ear an- nu+9ness an- enter you 3ith utter integrity.
1is "ully 'resent +asculine heart can clai+ you so -ee'ly that you have no choice 9ut to
o'en an- surren-er as love8s 9liss: larger than you 3oul- ever -o on your o3n.
Your +an8s 9o-y o" love is a 3e-ge that can o'en you to !o-. Your +an8s heart is a "orce
that can clai+ you 9eyon- your sel"4centere- +oo-s. Learning to o'en 3ith your +an
're'ares you to o'en in loving co++union 3ith everyone8s heart.
As you learn to o'en 3ith your lover in t3o49o-ie- e+9race an- 9reathe as one heart: you
9egin to "eel all 9o-ies as your 9o-y: all hearts as one heart. &itting in a roo+ 3ith "ive
"rien-s: you "eel an- 9reathe their nee-s: their tensions: their su""ering: an- the love that
yearns to o'en through their hearts an- 9o-ies. You are naturally +ove- to serve their
o'enness 3ith yours.
You are not 3ea$ "or 3anting to 9e clai+e- o'en 9y your loverG you are si+'ly "eeling your
-ee'est truth44your heart is here to 9e clai+e- 9y all: o""ere- to all as love8s "ullest light
an- +ost ten-er o'enness o" yearning.
;evertheless: 9ecause all 9o-ies -ie: your inti+ate relationshi' is tinge- 9y sa-ness. Your
+an 3ill eventually leave you: 9etray you: ignore you: or -ie. *ne 3ay or another: his 'ersonal
'resence 3ill no longer give you 3hat your heart -esires +ost. At so+e 'oint: you 3ill lose
your 9elove-. Your t3o49o-ie- 'ractice o" love is there"ore o""ere- through a heart ra3
3ith love8s i+'en-ing loss.
24
Your heart can re+ain vulnera9le an- o'en: 3illing to su""er the a9sence o" your 9elove-8s
'resence 3ithout closing an- 'outing li$e a chil-. &'iritual an- se(ual +aturity re?uire that
you -evelo' the ca'acity to "eel your heart8s -ee'est yearning +o+ent 9y +o+ent: 3hether
or not you are 3ith a lover. Are you allo3ing yoursel" to yearn o'en right no3 so you can "eel
your heart8s +ost -ivine -e'th o" love> Can you trust your heart8s yearning: so"tening <ust
as you are: so you can 9reathe an- "eel everyone8s heart 3hile giving your love to all>
Your +an is a te+'orary 9lessing o" -ivine 'resence: a "or+ o" grace. Love8s "orce is given
to you through the "or+ o" +an: so you can 'ractice 9reathing an- "eeling love -ee' in your
yearning heart as you o""er your 3hole 9o-y to 9e o'ene- 9y love an- given as love8s gi"t.
Even no3: in this +o+ent: 3ith or 3ithout a +an: you can 'ractice 9reathing -ee'ly an- "ully.
You can "eel everyone "ro+ your heart an- 9reathe their hearts in an- out o" yours: an- you
can 'ractice rela(ing your 3hole 9o-y so love can have its 3ay through you.
Es'ecially: the +ore "e+inine 'arts o" your 9o-y44the 'laces 3here you "eel the +ost
yearning to 9e touche-: entere-: caresse-: or ravishe-44those are the 'arts to 'ractice
rela(ing o'en. Your nec$: your 9reasts: your 9elly: your vagina: your hi's: your 9uttoc$s: your
legs: your "eet44o'en your entire 9o-y an- es'ecially the +ost yearning an- res'onsive
'arts. By rela(ing your 9o-y an- 9reathing love4energy in an- out o" every 'art: your tension
eases o'en an- love can "lo3 +ore "ully through you.
You +ay choose to 'ractice -ancing: yoga: or even +astur9ating as an e(ercise to hel' o'en
your heart an- 9o-y to the "lo3 o" love. 7hile you 'ractice your chosen -isci'line or art o"
3hole49o-y surren-er: al3ays re+e+9er to 9reathe love in an- out o" your heart: in an- out
o" your entire 9o-y: through every 'ore.
You can allo3 your 9o-y an- heart to surren-er o'en so large that you "eel an- 9reathe the
o'enness or love that yearns at the heart o" everyone. You can +agni"y your 'leasure until
your 9o-y an- heart are "orce- to o'en +ore. .eel ho3 -ee'ly you 3ant to 9e clai+e- an-
ta$en 9y love: an- ho3 -ee'ly you 3ant to surren-er o'en an- o""er yoursel" to 9e ta$en.
Your +an 'ro9a9ly "eels your heart +ostly through the o'enness o" your 9o-y: es'ecially
through your o""ering o" se(ual -evotion. 7ith a 3oun-e- heart: even though you have 9een
9etraye- in the 'ast an- 3ill 9e again: you can 'ractice to "eel an- 9reathe o'en: alive as
love8s yearning. 7hile +a$ing love through t3o 9o-ies: you can 'ractice receiving your +an8s
'enetration so -ee'ly no 'art o" your heart or 9o-y is le"t unta$en 9y love. An- you can
'ractice all -ay: "eeling an- 9reathing the yearning at everyone8s heart: 3hile o'ening your
9o-y to 9e ta$en 9y love <ust as "ully.
12
Loving Larger than Fear
Entil I +et you: I 3as 3aiting "or a 3o+an 3ith 3ho+ I coul- o'en co+'letely. I 3ante- a
3o+an 3ho 3oul- not settle "or less than love8s "ullness: "ro+ +e or "ro+ her. An- i" I -i-
settle "or less: I 3ante- a 3o+an 3ho 3oul- let +e $no3.
But I have gro3n in +y ca'acity to o'en to !o-: an- I 3ant to o'en 3ith you: no3: -ear
lover. I a+ rea-y "or your trust. I co++it to trusting the -e'th o" your love: even though I
$no3 that so+eti+es you 3ill close. &till: I trust the -e'th o" your love. I trust your
co++it+ent to love. An- I 3ant you to trust +ine.
I nee- your heart8s sensitive res'onse so I can navigate our o'ening together 3ith your
heart8s intuition. I also nee- you to trust +y co++it+ent an- ca'acity to navigate our
25
hearts o'en to !o-. I" you -on8t trust +y navigation: I8- rather you 3eren8t 3ith +e. I8-
rather that you 3ere 3ith another +an 3ho you coul- genuinely trust to o'en you. I -on8t
3ant to su""er your +istrust44I8- rather 9e alone: or 3ith a 3o+an 3ho ins'ire- an-
truste- +y ca'acity to lea- our -ance o'en in 9liss. I 3ant to 9e 3ith a 3o+an 3ho trusts
+e enough to surren-er o'en to !o- 3ith +e.
I" you -on8t trust +y ca'acity to navigate us o'en in co++union 3ith your heart: then leave
+e: an- "in- a +an 3orthy o" your trust. But i" I -o o'en you +ore -ee'ly than you have
o'ene- yoursel": then give yoursel" to +e: entrust your heart to +e: so I +ay o'en you an-
9e invite- 9eyon- +y o3n hesitancy 9y the -e'th o" your love an- the strength o" your
yearning.
I" your heart8s hurt causes you to close or 'rotect yoursel": then you are no longer a9le to
receive your +an8s 'resence44or the -ivine 'resence "or 3hich he 'rovi-es the 3e-ge.
Enentere- an- unclai+e-: you "eel e+'ty an- "rustrate- insi-e. You try to "ill the hole o"
your yearning. You eat: 3or$: sho': chat: an- try to satis"y your craving 3ith su'er"icial se(
or s3eets. he 'o3er o" your heart8s yearning 9eco+es 9loc$e- 9ehin- shells o" "ear: so
you settle "or less than your heart8s -ee'est -esire to give an- receive love.
Your yearning is either genuinely -ee' or you are settling "or so+ething that can8t truly
"ul"ill you. As long as you are 3illing to settle44"or a goo- 9ut not a great +an: "or a career
an- nice vacations: "or ne3 "urniture an- "ancy restaurants44you 3ill never 9e 3illing to
su""er the vulnera9le -e'th that is re?uire- "or your heart to reach o'en to 9e ta$en 9y
love8s -ivine 'resence.
7hat you settle "or is -eter+ine- 9y your "ear.
You +ay 9e a"rai- to 9e 3ithout a +an8s su''ort: so you settle "or the +an 3ho has love-
you the -ee'est so "ar. 1is love +ay not 9e un3avering. 1is integrity +ay 9e sli'sho-. 1is
co++it+ent +ay 9e a+9iguous. But he says he loves you: you love hi+: an- you -o share
so+e +o+ents o" great 9eauty.
&o: you settle "or a +e-iocre relationshi' 9ecause you are a"rai- to 9e alone. You "ill your
heart8s yearning 3ith an a-e?uate: 9ut not a9solutely trusta9le: +an.
As you gro3 9eyon- 9eing -e'en-ent on a +an: you +ay choose to settle "or an in-e'en-ent
li"e 9ecause you are a"rai- to rely on a +an8s su''ort.
You +ay choose to live alone: or 'erha's you live your in-e'en-ence in a so4calle- Fsel"4
res'onsi9leF relationshi' 9ase- on Fe?ualityF 3ith a +an 3ho gives you the s'ace to -o 3hat
you 3ant an- ta$e care o" yoursel".
&uch a +an is sa"eG you $no3 he 3on8t 'hysically hurt you an- he shares his "eelings 3ith
you in a sensitive 3ay. But still: you 3oul-n8t trust hi+ 3ith your total heart4surren-er. You
can8t give yoursel" to hi+ entirely: 9ecause he -oesn8t have the -e'th to $no3 you "ully an-
o'en you to !o-. 1e is a goo- 'artner: 'erha's: "or raising chil-ren an- creating a
co+"orta9le househol-: 9ut he rarely shoc$s you o'en to !o- in love8s ravish+ent.
1e is not -angerous enough to s3oon you. 1e is not certain enough o" his o3n 'ur'ose to
ta$e you o'en in utter con"i-ence. 1e is a goo- +an: 9ut not a great +an. You are a"rai- o"
losing the security an- co+"ort you have ac?uire-: an- so you settle "or the 9ene"its o"
living 3ith a +an 3ho res'ects you an- coo'erates 3ith your 'lans. You $no3 there is +ore
to li"e: your heart yearns "or -ee'er surren-er: 9ut you 3ill har-ly even a-+it to yoursel"
ho3 9a-ly you 3ant to 9e clai+e- 9y a "orce stronger than yoursel": ta$en o'en in love
9eyon- your o3n resistance: ravishe- o'en in an ecstasy +ore heart4true than the co+"ort
o" your sa"e arrange+ents.
26
.inally: you gro3 9eyon- "ear"ul in-e'en-ence. You are no longer a"rai- to con"ess that you
3ant a +an 3ho you trust to o'en your heart +ore than yoursel". Your heart yearns to 9e
ta$en o'en 9y a +an 3hose -e'th an- integrity gui-e your heart o'en 9etter than you can
gui-e yoursel". You reali=e that you are not 3ea$G you can gui-e your li"e44"inancially:
socially: artistically44<ust "ine. But this $in- o" sel"4gui-ance at the sur"ace o" your li"e is
not your -ee'est 'leasure. ;avigating your o3n heart8s o'enness -oesn8t allo3 the ecstatic
surren-er "or 3hich your heart yearns.
As success"ul as you +ay 9e in your li"e: you long to +erge 3ith a +an 3ho can ta$e you o'en
9eyon- your shells 9y his -ee' an- authentic clai+: his gentle 9ut 'ersistent co++an-44the
-angerous -e+an- o" a +an 3ho 3ill not settle "or anything less than your total heart4
giving.
1e is 3illing to violate you o'en into !o-: to enter your resistance 3ith a s+ile: to coa( your
heart "ro+ 9eyon- crosse- ar+s: to ravish you o'en44es'ecially 3hen your ha9its o" "ear
an- chil-ish 'out 3oul- $ee' you close-. 1e is not to 9e truste- to give you s'ace: 9ut you
can trust that he 3ill not 9e -eraile- 9y your resistance. 1is train is going straight o'en to
3here you 3ant to go: an- he e+9races your re"usal 3ith the sa+e hu+or an- i+'ecca9le
insistence 3ith 3hich he e+9races all o" li"e8s changes.
1e ta$es you: relentlessly: hu+orously: un"linchingly: 3here your -ee' heart +ost yearns to
o'en: an- he -oes not ta$e your resistance seriously. You 3ant +ore s'ace> You 3ant to 9e
le"t alone to sul$ in +oo-s o" closure> You8ve got the 3rong +an. Your +an can gui-e your
heart o'en +ore surely than you can: an- you $no3 it. Your re"usal is only a +o+ent o"
-ra+aG you $no3: sooner or later: your 'leasure is to surren-er to the surety o" his loving
co++an-.
Eventually: you are only 3illing to settle "or a +an 3hose heart4o'ening gui-ance you trust
+ore than yours. You are only 3illing to settle "or a +an to 3ho+ you can surren-er: $no3ing
that through his sure clai+: -ivine love gui-es you o'en +ore -ee'ly an- consistently than
you have 9een a9le to o'en yoursel". Your loving has gro3n large enough to enco+'ass
3orshi' in the "or+ o" t3o 9o-ies.
Your $no3le-ge o" love is larger then a sel"4gui-e- 3o+an8s "ear. You $no3 that nothing is
lost44an- -ivine "ullness is gaine-449y o""ering your su'erior -evotional love4light to a +an
3ho o""ers you his su'erior heart4ravish+ent: so together you 9oth o'en +ore "ully an-
consistently than either o" you ten- to o'en on your o3n. *'enness is love. his sa+e love
yearns o'en at everyone8s heart. Your co++it+ent to o'en to !o- through t3o49o-ie- "or+
're'ares you to o'en as this love alive at the heart o" all 9o-ies.
13
Tru!ting Your 'an to O*en You
Dear lover: you have tol- +e a9out the +en you have 9een 3ith in the 'ast. You have tol- +e
3hy you le"t the+: or 3hy they le"t you. 1earing you tal$ o" so+e o" the+: I can un-erstan-
your +istrust o" +en. I can un-erstan- 3hy you so+eti+es hol- your love 9ac$ "ro+ +e an-
-on8t trust to surren-er your heart an- 9o-y 3i-e o'en to +e.
But I also 3on-er: 3hy -i- you choose +e i" you really -on8t trust +e> *r: is your +istrust
<ust resi-ue o" tension "ro+ your 'ast> 7hy -i- you choose those other +en in your li"e:
27
the +en 3ho in the 'ast have "aile-: in one 3ay or another: to allo3 you to surren-er your
yearning o'en as love8s o""ering 3ithout the tension o" +istrust>
You have tol- +e ho3 -ee'ly you long to surren-er o'en 3ith a +an you can trust. I ho'e I
can 9e that +an. I 3ill 'ractice 3ith you so our loving continues to -ee'en 9eyon- our
re+aining "ear. But even as 3e 'ractice o'ening together: I so+eti+es "eel you closing to
+e an- I 3on-er: are you choosing to stay 3ith +e even though you -on8t trust +e to o'en
you to !o->
Your lover is 3ith you "or the sa$e o" loveG he 3ants you to receive his +asculine love an- he
3ants to receive your "e+inine love. 1e 3ants you to trust his gi"t o" heart4-irection +ore
than your o3n an- you 3ant hi+ to value your gi"t o" heart4light +ore than his o3n44it 3oul-
-istur9 you i" he s'ent +ore hours loo$ing in the +irror a-+iring his o3n 9o-y8s shine than
yours.
You 3ant hi+ to notice44in "act: 3orshi'44your 9o-y8s ra-iant 9eauty an- your heart8s light
o" -ivine love an- he 3ants you to ac$no3le-ge an- 3orshi' his heart8s ca'acity to
s'iritually an- se(ually ravish you o'en to !o-. his t3o49o-ie- -evotion only 3or$s 3hen
t3o 9o-ies are 9etter than oneG 3hen you are o'ene- +ore 9y his -ee' co++an- an- heart4
gui-ance than 9y your o3n e""orts: an- he is o'ene- +ore 9y 9eing -ra3n into your heart o"
-evotion +ore -ee'ly than his sel"4enclosure 3oul- other3ise allo3 hi+.
I" you -on8t trust your +an8s ca'acity to ta$e you o'en 3here you 3ant to go s'iritually an-
se(ually44+ore than you trust your o3n44then you 3on8t o'en "ully 3ith hi+: nor shoul- you.
I" he is +ore co++itte- to atten-ing to his o3n ra-iance than yours: an- you are +ore
co++itte- to surren-ering to your o3n heart8s -irection rather than his: you are 9oth still
too sel"4involve- to o""er your -ee'est gi"ts an- o'en 3ithout 9oun-s.
Your in-e'en-ence 3ill evo$e his in-e'en-enceC he 3ill "in- 3ays to receive "e+inine
ra-iance 3ithout you. 1e 3ill s'en- ti+e in nature8s ra-iance44sur"ing: hi$ing: s$iing44or he8ll
choose to rela( 3ith the energy o" +usic or a soothing 9eer rather than 3ith your
untrusting heart.
Due to your shells o" +istrust: you +ay have chosen a +an 3ho can8t gui-e your 9o-y an-
heart o'en to !o- 9etter than you: -irecting your li"e so love8s "ullness "lo3s uni+'e-e-.
#ay9e you are 9etter at o'ening yoursel" than he is at o'ening you. I" so: you are 9etter
o"" trusting your sel"4gui-ance than his.
But i" you are 3ith such a +an: you have chosen hi+. You have 'ro9a9ly co+e to +istrust
e(ternal +asculine gui-ance44'erha's you inherite- such +istrust "ro+ your e('erience
3ith your 'arents or 'ast inti+ate 9etrayal44an- so you have chosen a +an 3ho <usti"ies
your "ear"ul nee- to -irect your o3n li"e.
Your +an 3ill "eel your lac$ o" trust an- you 3ill "eel the 3ea$ness o" his loving co++an- in
your li"e. You can love each other as t3o in-e'en-ent an- sel"4res'onsi9le 'eo'le: 9ut you
3ill never surren-er o'en in love8s +ost 9liss"ul -issolution an- he 3ill never co++it hi+sel"
co+'letely in his clai+ o" your heart. You 3oul- -o 9etter to stay in a sa"e relationshi' o"
t3o sel"4reliant an- autono+ous 'eo'le than to "a$e -evotion to a +an8s -irection that you
-o not trust +ore than yours.
But i" you are rea-y to live a love larger than one 9o-y: i" you are rea-y to trust a +an8s
-ee' 'resence to 3e-ge you o'en so the "lo3 o" love can o'en your 9oun-aries 9eyon- sel"4
centere- +oo-s o" 'rotection: then you are rea-y to 'ractice the art o" "ully o""ering your
"e+inine gi"ts: an- there9y "ully reci'rocating your lover8s +asculine gi"ts. Your heart4
28
o""ere- -evotion ins'ires his -ee' consciousness to o'en through his "ears +ore than he
3oul- o'en 9y hi+sel".
You al3ays attract your reci'rocal. A 3o+an 3ho 3orshi's a +an8s -e'th o" +asculine
consciousness attracts an- ins'ires a +an 3ho 3orshi's her heart o" -evotional "e+inine
ra-iance. he o'enness you in-uce in one another through your 3orshi' e('an-s your
ca'acity to love "ar 9eyon- each o" your 9o-ies: 9eyon- even your t3o49o-ie- ecstasy:
un"ol-ing your love out3ar- to in"inity: "eeling every heart8s yearning: 9reathing o'en 3i-er
than the +oon an- sun an- stars. Your se(ual e+9race can o'en you to !o- through the
loving 3orshi' o" +asculine consciousness an- "e+inine light.
1$
You Attract Your Reci*rocal
7hen I "eel the o'enness o" your heart: I can "eel ho3 close- I have 9een to love. he
so"tness o" your 9o-y invites +e to rela( o'en an- "eel you. An- 3hen I "eel you: the -e'th
o" your yearning calls the -e'th o" +y -esire "or you. I 3ant to enter you as -ee'ly an-
'assionately as I "eel your heart yearning to 9e entere-: an- I 3ant to o'en you even +ore
-ee'ly 3ith +y love.
But 3hen your yearning heart is hi--en 9ehin- the tense cover o" your 9o-y: then it is easy
"or +e to continue on +y 3ay: -oing +y -uties: acco+'lishing +y tas$s: or resting alone:
3ithout you. I can8t "ully see your heart8s light through the har-ness o" your -e+eanor. I
can8t really "eel your heart8s longing "or love: only your -esire to get so+ething -one. I
assu+e you 3ant to 9e le"t alone to -o 3hat you nee- to -o. &o: I -on8t touch your hurrie-
9o-y or in"iltrate your shell o" -oing 3ith +y love.
I have learne- that so+eti+es: even though you -on8t sho3 it: your heart actually -oes 3ant
to 9e touche- 9y +y love 9eneath your hea-long actions. &o: I have learne- to ta$e a
+o+ent an- slo3 -o3n 3ith you 3hen the ti+e "eels right: 'ressing +y love into you: until
you so"ten an- o'en your heart: 9e"ore continuing 3ith your -ay. An- you have learne- to -o
the sa+e "or +e: -ear lover.
But I 3on-er i" you are a3are o" ho3 signi"icantly your current -is'osition a""ects +y
heart8s -esire to enter you an- +y 9o-y8s -esire to touch you in love. Your yearning heart
o'ens a love4-e'th in +y other3ise sur"ace -ay an- calls +e to "eel into your -ee' longing:
inviting +y -esire to o'en 3ith you as love8s surren-er.
But i" I a+ only a9le to "eel your tense 9o-y: then your co+'any "eels +ore li$e stress that
I have to -eal 3ith. Although I a+ co++itte- to o'ening you as -ee'ly as I can 3ith +y love
even 3hen you are close-: the -e'th o" +y 'assionate -esire "or you is invite- 9y the
"ullness o" your yearning: 3hich you sho3: +o+ent 9y +o+ent: through the trusting
surren-er o" your 9o-y8s o'enness to love.
I" you -on8t have a +an in your li"e 3ho clai+s your heart 3ith his love an- o'ens you to
!o-: you are 'ro9a9ly not "ully o""ering your heart to 9e clai+e- 3hile o'ening your 9o-y to
"lo3 3ith love8s 9liss44right no3. You al3ays attract an- ins'ire a +an as -ee'ly co++itte-
to o'ening in love as you are44right no3443hich +eans that a +an 3ill 9e as actively 'resent
3ith you as you are actively ra-iating your love an- allo3ing your yearning to o'en in his
co+'any an- 3hen you are alone.
6ight no3: ho3 "ully is your heart yearning o'en> 1o3 -ee'ly -o you 3ant your heart8s
longing to 9e +et> 1o3 actively are you allo3ing love8s yearning to o'en through your "eet:
your thighs: your nec$> Is your heart an- 9elly as o'en no3 as i" you 3ere +a$ing love 3ith a
29
truste- lover 3hile 9reathing the hearts o" all 9eings> 5ro9a9ly not. #ost li$ely: your heart
is less than -evotionally surren-ere- an- your 9o-y is less than over"lo3ing 3ith love8s
yearning 'leasure. here"ore: you 3ill attract a +an 3ho is less 'resent than your heart
truly -esires.
Dee' in your heart: you 'ro9a9ly 3ant to 9e 3ith a +an 3ho coul- 9e totally 'resent 3ith
you 3hen you are together: as i" he 3ere +a$ing love 3ith you: even at the -inner ta9le or
3hile ta$ing a 3al$. o attract such a +an: to evo$e his "ullness: you +ust 9e o""ering yours.
1is 'resence an- the o""ering o" your heart8s yearning go togetherG he -ri"ts 3hen you
close -o3n: you close -o3n 3hen he -ri"ts. 1e 3ants to clai+ you 3hen you trust hi+ 3ith
your 3orshi' o" his consciousness. An- you o'en: o""ering your yearning an- surren-er to
hi+: 3hen you "eel his -ee' clai+ an- 3orshi' o" your heart.
I" you are not currently in relationshi' 3ith such a +an: "eel yoursel"C 6ight no3: are you
o'ening an- 9reathing the love that "lo3s at the heart o" all 9eings: "eeling their su""ering
an- their <oy> Are you actively o'ening: 9reathing: an- receiving this +o+ent8s "orce o" love
into your 9o-y an- heart44as i" you 3ere ta$ing your lover -ee' insi-e: o""ering hi+ your
+ost vulnera9le yearning o" "e+inine -evotion an- the unta+e- gi"ts o" your energy>
I" you are o""ering your heart8s -ee'est yearning: then you 3ill attract an- ins'ire a +an8s
-ee'est 'resence: right no3. I" your heart8s surren-er is cautious an- your 9o-y8s "lo3 o"
energy is +ini+al: then you 3ill: in this +o+ent: attract an- ins'ire a +an 3hose 'resence is
easily -istracte- an- 3hose heart is uncalle- to "eel you -ee'ly.
1o3 -o you o'en no3> &tart 9y 9reathing -ee'ly: "illing your 9elly 'regnant 3ith 9reath4
"orce 3hile you inhale: then e(haling an- releasing all hol- o" tension. Breathe -ee'ly in an-
out through every 'art o" your 9o-y. Breathe in an- out o" your "eet so your toes 3iggle an-
you continue 9reathing o'en every 'art o" your 9o-yC your legs co+e alive: your vagina
so"tens an- +oistens: your 9elly gro3s roun- an- "ull 3ith 'leasure: your heart o'ens an-
"eels: your ar+s an- han-s an- "ingers un"ol- as s'routs o" your heart: your throat so"tens
an- your nec$ elongates: your "ace an- li's an- eyes an- hea- all rela( o'en. Breathe "ully
an- rela( your entire 9o-y o'en: "ro+ toe to hea-.
hen: as you 9reathe: "eel out3ar- "ro+ your heart. I" you have a lover: then 9reathe hi+44
his sha'e: his <oy: his su""ering44in an- out o" your heart. I" you have chil-ren: then
9reathe the+ an- all your "rien-s in an- out o" your heart. *'en your heart to "eel your
co++unity an- eventually the entire 3orl-: 9reathing all44'eo'le: ani+als: 'lants: ocean:
"orest: even the night8s -ar$ness44in an- out o" your heart. Allo3 your heart to o'en an-
"eel all: 9reathing all. .eel alive as all: 9reathing as the yearning that o'ens at all hearts.
&o"ten your 9o-y so your heart can actively 9reathe the o'enness o" this +o+ent. his
+o+ent e(ists as o'enness. .eel the actual aliveness o" this +o+ent: living 3ithin you: living
as you: an- living all aroun- you. his +o+ent is alive as love: as o'enness.
As i" you 3ere soa$ing in an ocean o" love: rela( o'en your throat: heart: 9elly: an- genitals
to receive love8s saturation. Lovingly +elt your heart an- 9o-y o'en as the "ullness o" this
+o+ent.
7ith 'ractice: you learn to 9reathe an- "eel the love alive as the universe an- the yearning
at the heart o" all 9eings. You learn to +elt o'en an- receive every +o+ent8s love4"ullness
into your 3hole 9o-y. In res'onse: your natural gesture is to o""er yoursel" o'en as love: as
a lover gives hersel" to her 9elove-. It is as i" !o- 3ere +a$ing love 3ith you an- you 3ere
o""ering all o" yoursel" o'en to !o-.
30
6ight no3: are you receiving this +o+ent8s -ivine ravish+ent -o3n to your love4s'laye-
toes> Are you o""ering your 9o-y as a sacre- gi"t: surren-ering your -ee' heart "ully to 9e
clai+e- 9y love8s earthly e+9o-i+ent>
o attract a +an o" heart4-e'th an- ins'ire his "ullness: you +ust 9e o""ering yours.
1)
7h# 'en 3ol0 Bac(
#any ti+es: I have hear- you tell +e that you can8t "eel +e "ully 3ith you: truly seeing you
an- loving you. But I -o love you. I can "eel +y love "or you: an- I can "eel your love "or +e.
Yet: I also have to a-+it that there are ti+es 3hen you see+ untrusta9le to +e. You tell +e
one thing: an- then change your +in- the ne(t +o+ent. You see+ so ha''y: an- then
su--enly: "or no a''arent reason: you see+ u'set. &o+eti+es I can stay "ully 3ith you 3hile
your e+otions con"oun- +e: 9ut o"ten I 'ull 9ac$.
I 3ait "or you to cal+ -o3n. *r: I try to tal$ 3ith you a9out ho3 you "eel so I can
un-erstan- the 'ro9le+ an- -eal 3ith it. #y atte+'ts to listen to you: ho3ever: -on8t see+
to +atter too +uch: 9ecause the sa+e thing ha''ens again. I lose trust in 3hat you say
9ecause it o"ten see+s to change: an- I hol- 9ac$ so I -on8t get too angry 3ith 3hat I "eel
are your groun-less 3or-s an- e(tre+e +oo-s.
hrough the years: ho3ever: 3e have gro3n. You have learne- to allo3 your -ee' yearning to
o'en through all your changing e+otions. &o no3 it is easier "or +e to "eel your true heart8s
-esire: not <ust your sur"ace 3or-s an- changes. I have learne- to really stay in touch an-
"eel your -ee'est heart 3ithout getting -iverte- 9y 3hat you say or -o on the outsi-e.
I 'ractice to "eel your -ee'est yearning an- see your true heart8s light 3hile you say an- -o
everything. 7ithout hol-ing 9ac$ "ro+ you to "in- 'eace in +y o3n -istance: I a+ a3e- 9y
the -e'th o" your love. Your "ully sho3n light a3a$ens +y heart to the love shining o'en as
every +o+ent.
I" a +an has a +asculine essence: then 3hen he "eels +ost -ee'ly into his heart: he
-iscovers a cogni=ant 9eingness that is the nature o" this 'resent +o+ent. I" you 3ant a
-ee' relationshi' 3ith a +an: then it is 3orth un-erstan-ing this unchanging an- ever4
'resent consciousness: this Fho+eF 3here a +an $no3s 3ho he truly is.
his -ee'est 'lace o" 9eing is consciousness itsel": 3hich is -ivine love. .ro+ this -ee' 'lace
a +an 3itnesses the 'assing -ra+a o" li"e. 6este- o'en as this unchanging -e'th o" love:
your +an is Falrea-y -ea-:F so he has nothing to gain or lose that 3ill +a$e any "un-a+ental
-i""erence. 1e can give everything to the 3orl- an- to you 3ithout "ear an- 3ithout hol-ing
9ac$. 1e is not re'elle- or -istracte- 9y your e+otional 3il-ness an- li"e8s tur+oil 9ecause
he stan-s "ree in -e'th: o""ering his -ee'est love as the +o+ents co+e an- go.
#ost +en have yet to "eel their -ee'est heart o" "ree consciousness. hey can8t "eel their
-ee'est 'ur'ose: an- so they can8t o""er their -ee'est gi"ts o" love: to you or the 3orl-. o
you: these +en "eel su'er"icial an- not so trusta9le. You cannot "eel their -ee' heart an-
authentic con"i-ence. You cannot see the vulnera9le strength o" -eath in their eyes.
Instea-: they a''ear lost in the ga+es an- -ra+a o" li"e: unsure an- una9le to ta$e you to
love8s -e'th.
#ost +en you $no3 'ro9a9ly hol- 9ac$: "ro+ your e+otions an- "ro+ li"e8s chaos. 1o3ever:
so+e +en genuinely are involve- an- at ho+e in li"e8s "ullness <ust as you are.
31
.or instance: so+e +en truly en<oy tal$ing a9out their e+otions 3ith 3o+en. #ay9e you
have 9een 3ith a +an 3ho is really re"reshe- 9y having co""ee 3ith you: chatting a9out
reci'es: ne3 clothing: an- stories o" their close "rien-s: an- sharing a goo- cry over their
relationshi'. &o+e +en "eel at ease 3hile atten-ing to their chil-8s tantru+: ans3ering the
ringing tele'hone: an- $ee'ing a conversation going 3ith their visiting "rien-s 3hile also
3atching their "avorite s'ort on V.
Al+ost all +en have so+e ca'acity to engage li"e8s co++otion: sensual hu99u9: an- your
e+otional +aelstro+s. o so+e e(tent: +ost +en can en<oy re-ecorating your ho+e:
'lanning a 3e--ing: or "inger4'ainting at their chil-8s 9irth-ay 'arty 3ith 32 9oys an- girls
eating ca$e an- running to an- "ro.
Even i" a +an has a +asculine essence: he also e+9o-ies so+e a+ount o" natural "e+inine
energy. his 'art o" hi+ is genuinely at ho+e in li"e8s ever4changing "ullness: <ust as you
are. 1o3ever: a +an +ay also have a "ear49uilt "e+inine shellC he +ay occu'y his ti+e in
conversation an- 'arties 9ecause he has lost touch 3ith -eath8s urgency an- his heart8s
-ee'est 'ur'ose.
You can 'ro9a9ly "eel the -i""erence 9et3een a +an 3ho is genuinely en<oying a
conversation449ut 3ho can still ravish you 3ith his -ee' +asculine clai+44an- a +an 3ho is
ungroun-e- in -eath8s authority: an- so chats 3ith a 'ansy s+ile.
As a +an learns to rela( his shells an- re-iscover his -e'th: he 9eco+es +ore o" a "ree
+an44i-enti"ie- 3ith the "ree-o+ o" unchanging consciousness. 1is heart4authority an- love
can +ost -ee'ly clai+ your heart. Yet: this sa+e +an +ay nee- to gro3 in his ca'acity to
engage your e+otional stor+s 3ithout turning a3ay to see$ his "ree-o+. 1e can 'ractice to
lovingly enter your 3il-ness 3ithout "linching 9y learning to stay in touch 3ith -ee'
consciousness that is ever4'resent.
1o3ever: until he learns to "ully rela( as this ever4'resent an- unchanging -e'th o"
"ree-o+: he +ay try to create 'seu-o4"ree-o+ 9y avoi-ing: controlling: or su''ressing li"e44
an- the e+otional 'art o" you44that he "eels is a 'otential -istraction or entangle+ent.
A +an +ay hol- 9ac$ "ro+ the "racas o" relationshi' an- li"e 9y "ocusing on the unchanging
goal o" a 'articular 'ro<ectC cutting the la3n: 3ashing his car: 'laying the stoc$ +ar$et:
9uil-ing a house: or 3riting a 9oo$. 1e +ay in-uce 'seu-o4"ree-o+ 9y -rin$ing a 9eer:
$ic$ing 9ac$: an- 3atching V. 1e +ay avoi- e+otional hu99u9 9y closing hi+sel" in his
o""ice an- ga=ing stea-ily into his co+'uter. 1e +ay +a$e a genuine atte+'t to groun-
hi+sel" in the -e'th o" consciousness 9y eli+inating li"e8s entangle+ents an- entering a
+onth4long silent +e-itation retreat in an e""ort to achieve Fego -eath.F
You +ay "eel li$e your +an is re<ecting you: 9ut he is si+'ly not at ho+e in change an-
e+otional "lo3 li$e you are. 1e can han-le your e+otional e('ression "or a 3hile: 9ut he
can8t hel' trying to F"i(F you as i" your e+otional "lo3 3ere a 'ro9le+. 1e tries to resolve
your -iscussions so they are "inishe-: -one: an- he can get 9ac$ to no4'ro9le+ or cal+
har+ony an- 'eace. 1e o"ten tries to resolve your so+ethingness into nothingness: steering
se(ual "ullness to3ar- e<aculative e+'tiness: trying to "in- a solution to your e+otional "lo3
or s'iritual su""ering so the F'ro9le+F is over.
6ather than connecting an- sharing a 9roa- e+otional "lo3 or en<oying an o'en4en-e- -ance
3ith your "eelings: +ost +en: +ost o"ten: s'en- their ti+e sus'en-e- in the 'seu-o4
"ree-o+ o" =oning out in "ront o" a V: o9literating the+selves on -rugs: or 9eco+ing
a9sor9e- in a singular challenge449usiness -eals: roc$ cli+9ing: stu-ying 'hiloso'hy44
es'ecially those challenges that 'ro+ise a taste o" release or F-eath.F
32
#ost +en choose to s'en- +uch o" their -ay trying to +a$e a "inancial F$illing:F struggling
"or 'olitical "ree-o+: see$ing a creative release: an intellectual ah4hah: or s'iritual
li9eration. An-: i" nothing else: they can 3atch s'orts44+en at the e-ge o" F-eathF in a
9o(ing ring or a9sor9e- in the challenge o" carrying: $ic$ing: or hitting a 9all across a line:
3hoo'ing in the "ree-o+ o" a victory.
Even though your +an +ay truly love you an- 3ant to s'en- his li"e 3ith you: he can o"ten
"in- your e+otional "lo3 +eaningless an- ta(ing: since your ever4changing energy is so
"oreign to the "ree-o+ o" release he see$sC the F"inalF or changeless consciousness an-
'eace that "eels +ost Fho+eF to his +asculine essence. o hi+: you +ay al3ays see+ to 9e
changing your +in-: changing your e+otions: loving hi+: hating hi+: closing -o3n: an- o'ening
u'. 1e $no3s 9y no3 that 3hatever he -oes 3ith you to-ay 3on8t +a$e a -i""erence 9y
to+orro3: so he8- o"ten rather invest his ti+e in so+ething that at least has the
a''earance o" achieving so+e "or+ o" "ree-o+ or co+'letion.
Enless your -ee' heart is actively se-ucing an- ins'iring your +an8s -ee' an- "earless
consciousness into li"e: then your native e+otional "lo3 +ay 9e actively re'elling hi+44even
i" he genuinely loves you. Entil he o'ens to the "ree-o+ o" -ee' consciousness: his greatest
"ear is losing his tenuously ac?uire- 'seu-o4"ree-o+ 9y 9eco+ing entangle- in 3hat see+ to
9e the constraints o" li"e or you: inclu-ing your love.
1e +ay 9e a"rai- to co++it to you 9ecause he "ears losing Fother o'tions:F even i" he loves
you. 1e +ay 'ull 9ac$ a"ter es'ecially -ee' love+a$ing 9ecause he is a"rai- o" losing his
"ree-o+ to the 9on- that -ee'er loving +ay i+'ly to hi+.
I" your +an is still gro3ing to "eel the "ree-o+ inherent in every +o+ent8s -e'th o"
consciousness: then you 3ill 'ro9a9ly have to invite his -e'th o" 'resence 3ith your -e'th
o" love. Your -ee'est light an- heart8s yearning can actively invite his -e'th: se-ucing or
enchanting his -ee' 'resence into the -ance o" relationshi' an- li"e. *ther3ise: he +ay
ten- to engage only shallo3ly: or 3ith-ra3 in the 'seu-o4"ree-o+ o" hol-ing 9ac$.
I" you 3ant to ins'ire your +an8s -e'th o" 'resence an- co++it+ent: o""er hi+ your
"e+inine heart8s +ost -ee' yearning: se(ually: actively: an- -evotionally: receiving hi+ into
you co+'letely an- res'on-ing 3ith "ull 'leasure an- trust. I" you -on8t o""er hi+ your
"ullness: then he +ay never have the o''ortunity to learn ho3 to enter the "e+inine heart8s
-ee'est -e+an- "or love. 7hen he ta$es ti+e o"" "ro+ his search "or 'seu-o4"ree-o+: his
-esire to en<oy the "e+inine +ay re+ain shallo3. 1e +ay go to less Fentra''ingF "e+inine
sources 3ith 3hich to +erge44oceans: "orests: +usic: 9eer: 'ornogra'hy: or less challenging
3o+en.
he "ullness o" your o""ering o" light through your 9o-y an- heart8s yearning44se(ually an-
in every 3ay44attracts an- ins'ires the -e'th o" your +an8s consciousness to enter you an-
the 3orl-.
Your "ullest "or+ o" ins'iration is 3orshi'. You can actually 3orshi' the -e'th o" your +an8s
consciousness. Even i" he is hol-ing 9ac$: you can "eel the -ee' 'art o" his heart that you -o
trust. You can see it -ee' in his eyes an- "eel it -ee' in his heart. 1is -ee' consciousness
9eco+es the su9<ect o" your -evotion: 3ho+ you -ance "or an- ins'ire. You $no3 this
"earless 'resence at his -e'th: even i" he is una9le to "eel it "or hi+sel" in the +o+ent.
By re"lecting an- o""ering your 3orshi' o" this -ee' 'art o" your +an8s heart: you can hel'
hi+ "eel an- reclai+ his o3n truth. Your 3orshi' o" his -e'th ins'ires hi+ to "eel the "ree
consciousness that he is: at -e'th. 7hen he can "eel an- rela( o'en as his -ee'est heart8s
33
"ree-o+: then he not only tolerates your chaos or en<oys conversing 3ith you: he actually
3orshi's the -e'th o" your heart8s longing an- light.
As your +utual 3orshi' -ee'ens: your love is live- 3ith hu+or. Your +an 'ulls a3ay an- you
s+ile: $no3ing the 'o3er o" your heart to se-uce hi+ 9ac$ into you an- li"e. You close -o3n
or eru't e+otionally an- he s+iles: $no3ing the 'o3er o" his 'resence to 'enetrate your
resistant energy an- o'en you to !o-.
Your "e+inine "ullness o" heart yearning 3ill al3ays attract an- ins'ire a reci'rocal -e'th o"
+asculine consciousness in your +an. I" you shir$ the -e'th o" your shine: you8ll attract a
+an 3ho hi-es in isolation: or a9sor9s his a3areness in heartless goals o" athletic: "inancial:
or so4calle- s'iritual challenge: or goes to easy se( "or shallo3 'leasure.
Your +an 're"ers that you 3oul- si+'ly o'en 3ithout +oo-s o" resistance. You 're"er that
your +an 3oul- si+'ly -esire you 3ithout re?uiring your active enchant+ent. 1e is o"ten too
tire- to 3ant to -eal 3ith your e+otional concerns. You are o"ten too stresse- or e(hauste-
to 3ant to F'ut it outF an- attract hi+.
You can each co+'lainC You 3ant +ore o" his loving 'resence an- he 3ants +ore se(ual
energy "ro+ you. You can each co+'ro+iseC 1e 'reten-s to 9e intereste- in 3hat you have
to say an- you 'reten- to en<oy his clu+sy gro'es an- su'er"icial li"e.
*r: you can each -evote yoursel" to en<oying your heart8s -ee'est -esire. Your +an can
rela( o'en an- F-ieF as the -ee' consciousness that is the source o" this +o+ent: "ree to
give his "ullest love to you an- all 3ithout hol-ing 9ac$. An- you can rela( o'en an- love
yoursel": your +an: an- the entire 3orl-: so that your heart8s light o'ens 3i-e as this
+o+ent8s livingness. hrough this +utual o""ering: you an- your +an can ins'ire an- invite
the -ee'est gi"ts o" each other8s heart.
1,
Your Force o& Attraction
Dear lover: you -on8t hi-e your se(ual char+s "ro+ +e44you $no3 ho3 to turn +e on +ore
than anyone ever has449ut you -on8t settle "or +ere genital "riction an- a""ectionate
e+9race. Your heart8s -ee' longing -ra3s +e 9eyon- the 'ursuit o" 'leasure449eyon- the
'ursuit o" anything.
he love that sho3s through the o'enness o" your yearning a3a$ens +e: here an- no3: to
the love that shines o'en as this +o+ent. Your love ins'ires +y -ee'est gi"ts to "lo3
s'ontaneously "ro+ +y heart to everyone.
But so+eti+es you o""er +e your love an- I can8t o'en to +eet your heart. #y +in- is
occu'ie- 3ith 'lans or +y 9o-y is running on stress. Even 3hen you +assage +e lovingly or
s'ea$ to +e in s3eet tones o" honey: I still can8t o'en "ully 3ith you.
During these ti+es 3hen I lac$ the a9ility to love you as -ee'ly as you are loving +e: I a+
astonishe- 9y your o'enness. &o+eti+es you cry: an- +y heart +elts. At other ti+es: you
si+'ly loo$ into +y eyes inviting +e: your 9o-y so"t an- your heart o'en: even though +y
unlove is hurting you. I can "eel ho3 resistant I a+ in co+'arison to your o""ering o" love8s
o'enness. Your love is so strong: vulnera9le: an- in"inite.
Your choice to stay o'en 3hen I a+ close- gives +e an o''ortunity to o'en 3ith you. 7hen I
a+ alrea-y in-is'ose- to love: your closure 3oul- 'ush +e a3ay even "urther. But your
choice to stay o'en 3hile sho3ing +e your hurt an- your heart8s longing "or +y love gives +e
a chance to +eet your o'en heart 3ith +ine.
34
Your attractive 'o3er is une?ualle-. .e+inine energy is the +ost attractive "orce on earth.
An-: to +any +en: your "e+inine se(ual energy is 3hat they "in- +ost irresisti9le.
You $no3 that you can 3ra' a +an aroun- your little "inger 9y o""ering your "e+inine se(ual
energy an- attracting hi+ into your "iel- o" in"luence. You can use this 'o3er "or your o3n
sa$e: to get 3hat you 3ant "ro+ a +an. You can also +ini+i=e your attractive 'o3er 9ecause
you "eel it isn8t "air to +ani'ulate a +anG you +ay "eel that each 'erson is sel"4res'onsi9le:
an- that you shoul- 9e a9le to get 3hat you 3ant in your li"e 9y using your o3n +asculine
-irection rather than 9y attracting a +an into -oing 3hat you 3ant.
1o3ever: 3hen your love gro3s 3i-e o'en: you can use your irresisti9le 'o3er o" attraction
"or the sa$e o" +agni"ying the love alive at the heart o" all 9eings.
Yes: you can get a +an to -o <ust a9out anything: an- you $no3 it. &o: 3hat are you going to
attract hi+ into -oing> Buying you a nice house> !iving you the s'ace to gui-e your o3n li"e>
*r: o""ering his -ee'est gi"ts to you an- all 9eings 3hile o'ening his heart to !o->
Are you a sel"ish 3itch: a sel"4su""icient 3itch: or a 3itch "or the sa$e o" -ra3ing your +an
an- all 9eings o'en as a gi"t "or all>
You +ay 9e a"rai- o" your o3n 'o3er o" attraction an- in"luence. You +ay 9e a"rai- o" living
o'en 9eyon- your single49o-ie- "or+. &o your yearning an- ca'acity to love: your a9ility to
attract all into love8s co++union: +ay lie latent an- 9urie- 9eneath layers o" "ear"ul shells.
7hether you are 3ith a +an or not: you can o'en an- o""er the attractive 'o3er o" your
"e+inine se(ual energy "ro+ your -ee'est heart "or the sa$e o" all 9eings44an- 9y -oing so:
you 3ill attract a -ee' +an into your li"e. An- i" you are alrea-y 3ith a +an: instea- o"
3aiting "or his integrity to -ee'en: you can o'en right no3 an- elicit your +an8s -e'th 3ith
the o'enness o" your love8s yearning. You can o""er your -e'th o" heart right no3 an-
attract "ro+ your +an his reci'rocal -e'th o" 'resence.
&o+ething as si+'le as the 3ay you 'our a cu' o" tea: "or instance: can a3a$en your +an8s
-ee'est heart. You can 3al$ across the $itchen "loor: +oving li$e a -ancer: an over<oye-
lover: a 3o+an 3hose 3o+9 is "ull o" 'leasure an- 3hose li+9s are gli-ing 3ith love. As you
'our the tea: you can "eel the li?ui- "illing your +an8s cu' as your love 3oul- "ill his li"e. You
can ga=e into his eyes: o""ering your -ee'est heart through your yearning.
I" his casual non4'resence 'ersists: you nee- not cater to his su'er"iciality. You stan- in
'lace: yearning 3i-e o'en as love44not tense or nee-y: 9ut as a 3or$ o" art: "ully a3are o"
your ra-iant gi"ts: o""ering your heart8s 9eauty through your 'oise an- grace44until he
notices. You can 9rea$ the 'attern o" casual +istreat+ent 9y -e+an-ing his 3orshi'44
3ithout saying a 3or-: si+'ly 9y o""ering the -e'th o" your heart8s yearning an- the strong
"lo3 o" love through your 9o-ily grace an- 'oise. I" you are stea-y an- strong in your
o""ering: he cannot resist.
he se-uctive light in your eyes: the tilt o" your hi's: the clothes you 3ear: the 9eauty 3ith
3hich you +ove an- sho3 your "e+inine "or+44your gi"ts o" ra-iance are irresisti9le to your
+an. 1e +ay try to 'ersist in non4'resence44rea-ing +aga=ines: tal$ing a9out stu'i- things44
9ut i" you -on8t 9uy into your o3n 'ain o" re<ection: an- i" you +aintain your "ullness
3ithout catering to his 'i's?uea$ style o" shallo3 attention: then his thin s'ell 3ill 9e
9ro$en.
Your art"ul o""ering o" love8s yearning evo$es his -e'th. he 'ersistence o" your heart8s
light evo$es the sta9ility o" his 'resence. Your grace"ul -ance44si+'ly the 3ay you 3al$:
+ove your "ingers: an- turn your hea-44can evo$e his attention an- a3e.
35
*""ering your -ee'est yearning an- love is an art that 3ill attract an- ins'ire your +an8s
-ee'est 'resence: even 3hen you "eel tire- or not in the +oo-. I" you chat a9out your -ay
3hile tru-ging across the $itchen "loor: casually 'ouring so+e tea an- 'lo''ing -o3n on your
chair 3ith a "urro3e- 9ro3 an- "ru+'y 'osture: you are e+'o3ering your +an8s non4
'resence. You are actually en"orcing ha9its o" non4co++union. 1e is unattracte-: unevo$e-
"ro+ his ne3s'a'er4=one o" nothingness.
But i" you 'ractice o'ening so your 9o-y is 9reathing love8s "ullness44as i" you 3ere on the
verge o" the +ost loving orgas+ you coul- i+agine44he 3ill notice. I" your hi's are +oving
3ith the sa+e 'leasure as i" you 3ere -ancing to your "avorite +usic: his attention 3ill +ove
to your 9o-y. I" your eyes are so"t 3ith love8s yearning: i" your voice is s'o$en as i" in 9e-:
+o-ulate- 9y the tone o" love8s 'leasure: his ne3s'a'er43orl- 3ill "eel 'altry.
6e+e+9er: he is not at ho+e in li"e as "ully as you are. 1is 9asic orientation is to3ar- the
"ree-o+ o" e+'ty an- unchanging consciousness. I" his alternative to this "ree-o+ o"
e+'tiness is your clu+sy 9o-y: your har'ing voice: your e+otional nee-iness: or your ha9itual
tal$: he 3ill learn to tune you out. I": ho3ever: the soun- o" your voice "eels li$e the +ost
loving se(ual +oan: i" the +ove+ent o" your 9o-y loo$s li$e a -ancer gli-ing 3ith ecstasy: i"
your s'eech an- "acial e('ression are o" love: yearning: an- 3orshi': he 3ill -o anything "or
you.
In your +o+ents o" e+'hasi=ing sel"4reliance: you +ay negate the ra-iant 'o3er o" your
"e+inine attraction an- try to e+'hasi=e your 3orl-ly "unctionality an- intellectual ca'acity.
Your se(uality see+s to 9e only a s+all 'art o" 3ho you are as a F3hole 'erson.F *""ering
your se(ual enchant+ent to a3a$en your +an8s 'resence "eels li$e a -i+inish+ent o" your
3holeness an- a chea' +ani'ulation o" his -esire449ecause you sto' short o" attracting his
attention o'en to !o-8s "ullness through your se(uality.
7hen your love -ee'ens: you "eel your se(uality as a 'otent "or+ o" -ivine art: ?uite li$ely
the +ost attractive gi"t you can o""er to your +an: your +ost -irect 3ay to invite hi+ o'en
into !o- through love. You give your heart8s yearning an- your 9o-y8s "or+ as a -ivine
o""ering o" love. You se-uce your +an not only to your sur"ace: 9ut to your -e'th.
You 3ill attract in a +an: an- evo$e in your +an: the -e'th o" 3orshi' corres'on-ing to your
o""ering. I" you 3ant your +an to treat you li$e a sche+ing va+': then o""er your
su'er"icial char+s to +ani'ulate his su'er"icial -esires. I" you 3ant your +an to treat you
li$e a colleague an- "rien-: then o""er your hu+or: $no3le-ge: an- talents to interest hi+.
I" you 3ant your +an to 3orshi' your love as his chosen source o" -ivine "e+inine ra-iance:
then o""er hi+ your "ullest se(ual art o" -evotional surren-er44through every gesture:
+ove+ent: soun-: an- e('ression. *""er your yearning an- -evotion to !o- through the !o-
in hi+.
An- even i" you -on8t have a +an: 3hy 3oul- you 3ant to live a li"e that 3as less than
-evotional art> .or your o3n sa$e: "or the sa$e o" all 9eings: "or !o-8s sa$e: 3oul-n8t you
rather rela( o'en as love8s o""ering than contract in stress an- su9<ective con"usion> Even
i" you 3ere coo$ing -inner "or yoursel": alone in your house: 3hy +ove as less than love8s
o'en -ance 3hile o""ering your heart8s yearning 9righter than the sun shines> You can o'en
as 'leasure: +ove as a go--ess: 3ash soa'su-s o"" your -ishes as i" +a$ing e(?uisite love44
you can live o'en as love8s art: +oving in every as'ect o" li"e as a re"lection o" the sacre-.
You are either allo3ing your li"e to 9e live- o'en as love: or you are settling "or less. You are
either -isci'lining your 9o-y to o'en as love8s art: or you are encasing your heart in shells o"
36
ha9it. .or instance: sheer ha9it -eter+ines the tone o" voice you 3oul- use to as$ your +an:
F7oul- you li$e so+e tea>F
You can change your act into art. 6ather than acting "ro+ ha9it: you can 'ractice acting as
an art"ul o""ering that 3ill evo$e the -e'th o" your +an8s heart an- "ill his li"e 3ith light.
I+agine you 3ere a9out to have an orgas+ o" the -ee'est $in-: so your heart an- 9o-y 3ere
surren-ere- o'en li$e an in"inite "lo3er o" 'leasure. ;o3: 3ith 3hat tone 3oul- your 3or-s
e+erge "ro+ the 3o+9 o" your 'leasure: F7oul- you li$e so+e tea>F
You can s'ea$: +ove: an- 9reathe as acts o" ha9it: or as o""erings o" art. You can "eel an-
o""er your 3hole 9o-y as a gi"t o" love8s 9eauty: sho3ing the light o" your -ee'est heart.
As love yearns o'en through your 9o-y o" -evotional surren-er: you 3ill naturally evo$e
a-oration: reverence: an- -ee' heart4co++union. his is your +o+ent49y4+o+ent choiceC to
act as a ha9itual 'ersonality: or to o""er your li"e as art: +oving as love8s sacre- gi"t.
Your li"e re"lects the sacre- as "ully as you are 3illing to "eel an- e('ress your heart an-
9o-y8s -ee'est -esires. .or instance: 3hen your 9o-y is touche-: "or 3hat -o you +ost
-ee'ly yearn>
.eel the so"t sur"ace o" your s$in. 7oul- you li$e to 9e stro$e- so that shivers o" 'leasure
run through your 9o-y> Do you -esire to 9e caresse- so that your heart o'ens -ee'er:
evo$ing tears o" vulnera9le surren-er> 7hat $in- o" touch 3oul- un"ol- the very -ee'est
core o" your heart8s yearning: 'erha's hi--en an- une('resse- your entire li"e>
Being touche- can "eel goo-. But 9eing touche- can also o'en your -ee'est heart. 7hat $in-
o" touch -o you usually settle "or> 7ith 3hat -e'th o" yearning are you 3illing to o""er your
s$in to 9e touche->
he -e'th o" your heart8s yearning44o""ere- through your s$in: voice: an- +ove+ent44
attracts an- ins'ires a +an 3hose o""ering to you an- the 3orl- is e?ually heart4-ee'. Even
your "rien-s an- chil-ren are ins'ire- to e('ress +ore -ee'ly their -ivine gi"ts 3hen you
allo3 your -ee'est yearning to un"ol-.
Love8s true o""ering e+erges "ro+ your -ee'est yearning as various -esires si+ultaneously
occu'y your heart. You 'ro9a9ly -esire ice crea+ on occasion: 9ut the "lush o" yu+ is 9rie".
6aising a "a+ily can occu'y you "or years: 9ut ho3 +any +others -o you $no3 3hose chil-ren
are gro3n an- gone an- 3hose once4occu'ie- heart no3 "eels e+'ty an- see$s solace in a
lonely house> You +ay long "or +any 'leasures in li"e: so+e +ore shallo3 an- so+e ?uite
-ee'. But "or your heart to en<oy true an- lasting "ul"ill+ent: you can learn to "eel an-
o""er your -ee'est yearning in every +o+ent: through every -esire: throughout your li"e.
7hat -oes it "eel li$e to o""er your -ee'est -esire through your 3hole 9o-y> I+agine: right
no3: you 3ere 3ith a truly trusta9le lover. 1is 9o-y 'resses against yours: "lesh to so"t
"lesh. 1e "eels any resistance you +ay have: an- he o'ens through it. 1e 9reathes 3ith you:
"eeling your every +ove an- nee-. Your ar+ +oves an inch: an- he gras's your 3rist: -ra3ing
your ar+s a9ove your hea-: 'inning you -o3n: o'ening you.
7hen you nee- a rest he sto'sG 3hen you nee- +ore "orce he enters you 3ith 'assion.
Because you trust hi+: you can rela( o'en 3ith hi+. You allo3 hi+ +ore -ee'ly insi-e o" you:
in your 9o-y an- heart. 1is loving o'ens you +ore: an- soon your invitation gro3s strong.
Your 9o-y an- heart o'en to ta$e his love -ee'er: "illing you +ore than you can ta$e 3ithout
surren-ering. All your 9oun-aries -issolve as you receive his love 3ithout "ear or resistance:
until you are gone o'en: he is gone o'en: an- love +oves o'en as all.
Enra'ture- in love8s -ee'est 9liss: ho3 3oul- your tongue an- <a3 "eel> 1o3 3oul- your
'elvis ease> 1o3 3oul- your throat "eel> 7hat tones 3oul- your vocal cor-s o""er> 1o3
37
3oul- your han- 9rush a3ay the hair "alling in your "ace> 7oul- your 9elly 9e har- or so"t>
7oul- you have li+' an$les or ha''y "eet> 7hat ha''ens to your 9reathing 3hen you "eel
this -e'th o" love: even in your i+agination> 1o3 3oul- you live an- +ove right no3 i" you
3ere o'en in the "ullest loving you can i+agine>
6ight no3: the only 3ay you can $no3 that you are not 9eing "ully love- is 9ecause you can
intuit ho3 it 3oul- "eel to 9e "ully love-. he only 3ay you $no3 that you are not o'en in
-ivine 9liss is 9ecause you can intuit a 3ay o" o'ening that is +ore -ivine: +ore 9liss"ul: than
you are allo3ing yoursel" to o'en no3.
You alrea-y intuit your -ee'est -ivine love an- gi"ts: right no3. I" you -i-n8t: you 3oul-n8t
yearn as you -o. You +ay not 9e a9le to 'ut 3or-s on your "eeling: 9ut you can intuitively
"eel -ee'er an- -ee'er into the hole o" your yearning. You can o'en an- e('ress this love
s'ontaneously "ro+ your -ee'est heart through your 3hole 9o-y: so every +ove+ent o" your
li"e is a re"lection o" the sacre-.
&o+eti+es your o3n 9o-y an- +in- 3on8t 9e a9le to sustain the o'enness necessary "or
your -ee'est heart to 9e o""ere-. Your attention: an- thus your energy: 3ill go to
su'er"icial 'leasures: s3eet "oo-s an- nice caresses. You can intuit a +uch -ee'er yearning:
9ut you +ay settle "or less.
Also: those aroun- you +ay not 9e a9le to han-le the inherent -e+an- o" your -ee'est
o""ering. #any 'eo'le are a"rai- o" o'ening: so you 3ill "re?uently 9e +et 9y their closure.
here"ore: your -ee'est heart 3ill 3ant +ore love than you or others see+ ca'a9le o"
sustaining. You +ay constantly 3ish you 3ere a9le to give an- receive +ore love44an- that
your lover 3ere +ore ca'a9le: too.
1o3 you res'on- to your heart8s 3ish "or love -e'en-s on ho3 -ee'ly you are 3illing to "eel
an- e('ress your yearning 3ithout closing. Are you 9eing a nee-y 3o+an: gras'ing "or
security 9y +ani'ulating others 3ith your su'er"icial char+s> Are you 9eing a har-ene- an-
in-e'en-ent4acting 3o+an: su''ressing your irresisti9le shine an- $ee'ing your heart
unsurren-ere- -es'ite your love8s aching> *r: are you 9eing a -ivine o""ering o" love:
grace"ully articulating love8s -ee'est light an- yearning through your uni?ue art o" "e+inine
-evotion: o""ering your love even through a heart that +ay 9e o'en an- hurting>
*""er your "e+inine se(ual energy through your -ee'est heart8s yearning. he ra-iance o"
your -ee' heart8s yearning is the 9eacon that attracts +en o" integrity. ;ot your
nee-iness. ;ot your in-e'en-ence. 6ather: -ee' +en are attracte- an- ins'ire- 9y your
heart8s ache"ul o""ering: your 9liss"ully anguishe- heart4'lea to 9e ta$en44an- the "act
that your heart8s light 3on8t settle "or anything less than total clai+ in -ivine love.
hroughout your li"e: continue to intuit an- o""er your heart8s -ee'est longing: 3hile you
are touche- su9li+ely an- callously: 3hile your chil-ren co+e an- go: 3hile your lover
3ith-ra3s "ro+ you an- 3hile he shares your heart8s o'enness.
he light o" your heart8s -ee'est longing: o""ere- through your 3hole 9o-y: is your -ee'est
"orce o" attraction. Your surren-er an- o""ering o" love8s -ivine light is also the source o"
your li"e8s art: your -evotional gi"t to all 9eings: an- the only 3ay to live o'en as your
heart8s -ee'est 'leasure.
7oul- you rather live any other 3ay>
1/
Your 'an ! Your Choice
38
Dear lover: I -on8t 3ant you to give u'. I $no3 the +en in your 'ast have hurt you an- that
so+eti+es I a+ una9le to +eet you. But 'lease -on8t settle "or less than your heart8s +ost
-ee' -esire. I have seen so +any 3o+en give u' an- settle "or a +e-iocre relationshi' that
-oesn8t o'en the+ to !o-. I have also seen 3o+en try to 9y'ass the o"ten -i""icult 'ractice
o" t3o49o-ie- -evotion 9y trying to love the+selves.
hese 3o+en learn that 9y loving the+selves <ust as they are: an- 9y loving their +an even
3ith all his hu+an li+its: then they can "eel *K. hey can "eel 3ar+ly *K 3ith their o3n
hu+anness an- their +an8s. hey -on8t nee- things to 9e 'er"ect any+ore. hey are a9le to
love an- acce't things as they are.
But I 3oul- 9e -isa''ointe- i" you settle- "or this. Loving you an- +e as 3e are44loving your
o3n shells an- loving +e even 3ith all +y i+'er"ections44is a "irst ste'. Yet a greater gi"t is
allo3ing your heart8s -ee'est e('ression to illu+inate +y li"e so I can see +ore than I can
9y +ysel". An- i" you 3ill choose +e44or another +an443ho you trust to o'en your heart
-ee'er than you can 9y loving your o3n hu+an li+its an- shells: then your heart 3ill "lo3er
"ar 9eyon- si+'le *K4ness 3ith the 3ay things are.
he "irst ste' is to love yoursel": +e: an- everyone 3ith all o" our i+'er"ectionsG 3e are
-ivine an- *K <ust as 3e are. he ne(t ste' is to o'en in the "uller illu+ination o" t3o4
9o-ie- -evotional trust. hen: 3e can see +ore an- o""er our love +ore 'ro"oun-ly than 3e
coul- 3ithout each other8s loving re"lection an- heart4-e+an-. Yet another ste' in love8s
"lo3ering is to trust an- o'en "ully as the love that yearns to shine through the hearts o" all
9eings.
In 9e-: you +ay en<oy ta$ing charge: teaching: an- lea-ing your lover on occasion: 9ut i" your
+an is ina-e?uate44i" your s'iritual an- se(ual gui-ance is necessary 9ecause your +an8s
ca'acity to navigate is untrust3orthy44then you re+ain unsurren-ere-: an- your 9o-y
accu+ulates -iscontent in the "or+ o" tension: stress: e(haustion: or -e'ression. You 3ant
your +an to $no3 you an- reach youG you 3ant hi+ to $no3 your 9o-y an- ho3 to 9loo+ your
o'enness.
I" your +an8s -e'th isn8t su""icient to "eel you an- o'en you: then your 9o-y 9eco+es e-gy:
your voice shar': your +ove+ents ungrace"ul. Your 9elly is not "ull 3ith 'leasure. 7hy>
Because as +uch as you +ay genuinely en<oy gui-ing your o3n li"e 'ro"essionally: artistically:
or 'olitically: your "e+inine essence yearns to surren-er as all love rather than +aintain
control an- +a$e all the -ecisions s'iritually an- se(ually.
1ave you ever leane- into a +an8s loving gui-ance> 1ave you relin?uishe- control an- allo3e-
your s3eetly surren-ere- heart to "lo3 o'en li$e the ocean: 3il- an- -ee': rather than
hol-ing the narro3 -irection o" a "unctional canal> &'iritually an- se(ually: your heart 3ants
to 9e entere- an- inha9ite- 9y -ee' love an- i+'ecca9le integrity. You 3ant to s3oon as
love8s "ullest o""ering 3ithout al3ays having to initiate the lea- an- gui-e your lover.
You +ay not +in- +anaging the 122 e+'loyees at your cor'oration: 9ut your heart "in-s
little 'leasure in +anaging your +an. As a hu+an "unctionary44a 9usiness3o+an: a
'ro"essional artist: a +other: a 'olitician44you +ay genuinely love to 9e in charge. But i" you
have a "e+inine essence: then 3hen it co+es ti+e to o'en in s'iritual an- se(ual inti+acy
3ith your lover: you 3ish you -i-n8t have to al3ays 9e in charge: telling your +an 3hat to -o:
-irecting hi+ into greater -e'th: teaching hi+ ho3 to o'en. You 3ant to o""er yoursel" o'en
3ithout al3ays having to initiate an- lea-.
39
Your heart longs to 9e "elt: $no3n: entere-: love-: an- co++an-e- o'en: yet you +ay also 9e
a"rai- to trust.
Every +an has his li+its: so you +ay 9e a"rai- to receive co++an- "ro+ your +an: $no3ing
he +ay "alter: seeing that he -oes "alter at ti+es. Your +an +ay lac$ intellectual ca'acity.
*r he +ay 9e energetically insensitive. Your +an +ay 9e clu+sy: hesitant: or too sa"e an-
una-venturous. Your +an +ay lac$ the -e'th: "orce: an- gentle insistence necessary to earn
your surren-er. I" you -on8t totally trust your +an8s co++an- se(ually an- s'iritually: then
you have chosen hi+ so that you -o not have to surren-er o'en: o""ering your heart8s
-ee'est yearning.
I" you are 3ith a +an you -on8t trust: it is only 9ecause you 're"er unsurren-ere- love to
surren-ering 3i-e o'en in total trust. It "eels sa"e. You are a"rai- to let go o" control44'art
o" you -oesn8t trust love8s co++an-44so you have chosen a +an 3ho -oesn8t -e+an- your
surren-er 3ith his -e'th o" integrity. I" you -i- trust the co++an- o" love: you 3oul- only
settle "or a -ee' +an ca'a9le o" o'ening you +ore -ee'ly than you coul- instruct hi+.
#en are li$e trains. hey are going so+e3here. Choosing an- staying 3ith a +an is li$e
choosing to get on a train. You 3ill en- u' going 3here your +an goes: s'iritually an-
se(ually: or you 3ill have to get o"" his train. You cannot change a +an8s -irection to yours
3ithout losing trust in his ca'acity to navigate.
You -on8t 3ant a rigi- +an: 9ut you 3ant a +an 3hose heart8s courage an- authentic truth
runs -ee'. You 3ant a +an 3ho "eels you: listens to you: consi-ers everything you have sai-:
an- then clai+s you: ta$ing you to 3here you coul-n8t tell hi+ to ta$e you: even i" you trie-.
1e ta$es your heart to ne3 -e'ths o" a-venture an- o'enness: an- he sho3s you ne3
as'ects o" li"e.
You can44an- shoul-44give your +an your "ullest e('ression o" "eeling: o""ering hi+ your
"ee-9ac$: your love: an- your res'onsive heart8s s'ontaneous e('ression o" 'leasure an-
'ain. A really goo- +an 3ill e+9race all the "ee-9ac$ an- "eeling you have o""ere- hi+:
consi-er everything you have sho3n hi+: an- then: clai+ing your heart -ee'ly: he 3ill -eci-e
3here his train is going: 3ith you or 3ithout you. An- you 3ant it that 3ay.
You -on8t 3ant a +an 3ho a-a'ts his -irection to 3here you say you 3ant to go. 7hat goo-
is he then> You +ight as 3ell navigate your o3n -irection i" your +an changes his 'ath to
"ollo3 3hat you tell hi+. You 3ant to "eel an- 9e a9le to res'ect his 3is-o+.
A -e'en-ent 3o+an is 3illing to lose her o3n strength o" -irection "or the sa$e o" $ee'ing
her +an8s a""ections an- staying on his train: even i" she -oesn8t "ully trust her +an8s
s'iritual an- se(ual 3is-o+. An in-e'en-ent 3o+an insists on e?uality in the gui-ance o"
their share- train: or chooses to gui-e her o3n train: 3hich is s+art i" she -oesn8t trust
her +an8s ca'acity to o'en her s'iritually an- se(ually +ore than she can o'en hersel".
But a 3o+an rea-y "or o'ening -ee'ly in t3o49o-ie- -evotion 3on8t settle "or less. &he has
+ature- to $no3 the su9li+e 'leasure o" surren-ering o'en to 9e live- as the unta+e-
"orce o" love: so she chooses a +an 3hose co++an- ta$es her -ee'er an- 9eyon- 3here she
even truste- 3as 'ossi9le.
A -ee' relationshi' o" inti+ate co++union ta$es you +ore o'en than you coul- go on your
o3n. I" your +an isn8t ca'a9le o" co++an-ing you o'en in 9liss"ul an- ever4-ee'ening
surren-er: 3hy -i- you choose hi+> Is there a 'art o" you44'erha's a su9conscious 'art44
that chose hi+ so that you 3oul-n8t have to surren-er o'en in total trust> Is it 'ossi9le
that 'art o" you is a"rai- to o'en your heart 3ithout 'rotection: so you have attracte- an-
chosen a +an 3hose "ear taints his co++an-: <usti"ying your +istrust an- closure>
40
Do you trust your o3n heart8s -ee'est yearning>
I" you are genuinely rea-y to o'en as un9oun- love an- your +an is truly un3illing to gro3:
then you +ay have to leave hi+. I" his co++it+ent to gro3ing in s'iritual an- se(ual
co++an- is ina-e?uate "or your heart to trust: then you +ay nee- to +ove "or3ar- 3ithout
hi+. Kee' your heart o'en 3hile you su""er the hi+4sha'e- voi- o" aloneness until your
-evotion -ee'ens enough to attract an- choose a trust3orthy +an.
I" you really 3ant to surren-er o'en in t3o49o-ie- -evotional trust: then choose an- stay
3ith a +an 3hose train is alrea-y going -ee'er an- "urther than you can o'en yoursel".
Choose a +an 3ho ta$es you o'en +ore -ee'ly than you have 9een so "ar a9le to ta$e
yoursel". But also choose a +an 3ho ta$es you -ee'er than you 3oul- go 9y ta$ing turns
navigating: hi+ e('ecting that you 3ill ta$e charge hal" the ti+e. A -ee' +an o" integrity
ta$es your heart into his heart as he navigates: "ine4tuning his actions 3hile "eeling your
heart8s res'onse: al3ays valuing your "ee-9ac$. But his navigation is not relin?uishe- or
3ea$ene- 9y your "ee-9ac$ or anyone8s.
.eeling "ro+ his heart out3ar- to all: ta$ing all hearts into account: his actions e+erge
s'ontaneously "ro+ love8s -e'th: uncurtaile- 9y hesitancy. As he acts: he continually "eels
your heart an- all hearts: "ine tuning every action "or the sa$e o" all. You can "eel his
'ro"oun- co++it+ent to love an- his unconstraine- o""ering o" his -ee'est gi"ts: so you can
rela( o'en an- o""er your heart8s -ee'est gi"ts. 1is love49orne co++an- allo3s your love4
9orne surren-er as 3ell as your "ully given "ee-9ac$.
1e o""ers you his -ee'est gi"t 9y 'ersistently ta$ing you 9eyon- your heart8s 9oun-aries
into love8s "ullest surren-er an- e('ression. 1e8s o'ening to !o- no3: 3ith you or 3ithout
you44an- he ac$no3le-ges that 9oth o" you o'en +ore "ully as a t3o49o-ie- train than alone.
E+9racing your heart an- "eeling your e(?uisite res'onses: he corrects his errors as he
goes 3ithout colla'sing: his strength o" navigation an- res'ect o" your "eeling43is-o+ ta$ing
you 9oth o'en in ever4-ee'ening love an- "ullness.
I" you -on8t 3ant this $in- o" +an: then continue navigating yoursel". &ho3 your +istrust in
the stresse- clench o" your 9elly an- the strain o" your voice. I" you -o 3ant this $in- o"
+an: then 'ractice surren-ering o'en to 9e co++an-e- 9y love 3hile "ully e('ressing your
heart. I" you are alone: then 'ractice "eeling your heart an- o'ening your 9o-y: 9reath: an-
e+otions so that love can e('ress through you: uni+'e-e- 9y your accu+ulate- shells o"
"ear4i+'ose- +asculine sel"4control.
You can go into your roo+: close the -oor: ta$e o"" your clothes an- -ance to your "avorite
+usic. An- 3hen you 3ant to sto' -ancing: $ee' o'ening. Let love +ove your li+9s an- hi's:
let energy o'en an- e('ress through your 'elvis an- 3hole 9o-y: es'ecially 3hen you least
3ant to -ance. 7hen your +in- starts chattering or your 9o-y closes -o3n: continue -ancing
o'en: 'racticing to allo3 the energy o" the +usic to +ove you +ore o'en. &urren-er to the
-ivine "orce "lo3ing through you an- e('ress your heart "ully through your 3hole 9o-y.
5ractice "eeling your heart8s yearning: so"tening your +uscles: an- allo3ing yoursel" to 9e
-ance- as i" 9eing inha9ite- an- o'ene- 9y love8s "ullest "lo3. Breathe love in an- out o"
your heart. .eel your "rien-s: your chil-ren44"eel everyone44an- 9reathe their love in an-
out o" your heart as you -ance as 9ig as li"e. Dance as you 9reathe everyone. Dancing as
everyone: allo3 your "eelings to "lo3 through every cell o" your 9o-y: crying: screa+ing:
sighing: 9reathing: an- -ancing as love e('resses through you.
Love is not so+ething that ha''ens or not. Love is a -isci'line: a constant 'ractice an-
co++it+ent to "eel an- love your shells: rela(ing 3ith hu+or an- surren-ering o'en through
41
your love4so"tene- shells that 3oul- other3ise su''ress your energy an- 9uil- 3alls aroun-
your heart.
Love your shells 3hen your "ear cla+'s tight: an- then e('ress your -ee'est yearning to
your +an. I" you 3ant a +an 3hose train you trust to ta$e you 3here you 3ant to go44an-
9eyon-44then you can ins'ire his train 3ith your -e'th o" love8s yearning an- "ine4tune his
-irection 3ith your heart8s intuition an- your "ullest e('ression o" love8s s'ontaneously
o""ere- energy.
I" his train is going in the 3rong -irection: your -ance o" -is'leasure gives 3arning. I" his
train continues in the 3rong -irection: your 3rath is un+ista$a9le: your "angs gro3ing: your
cla3s e+erging: an irre'ressi9le an- s'ontaneous anger -ancing through your o'en heart an-
9o-y.
You 3ill attract an- $ee' a +an 3ho can +aintain his integrity 3ith the sa+e consistency
that you can o""er your -ance through love4so"tene- shells 3ithout colla'se or "rustration.
An- this isn8t easy: "or either o" you.
It is easier "or you to give u' trying to change your +an: learn to love yoursel" <ust as you
are: an- si+'ly gro3 to tolerate a clo- in your house. It is easier "or your +an to <er$ o"" in
the 9athroo+ or "in- a +istress than to clai+ you so ten-erly an- insistently that your
surren-ere- -evotion attracts hi+ -ee'er than tits an- ass.
Your +an8s heart4'resence an- your heart4-evotion +ust 9e "ully given44"iercely at ti+es:
gently at others44or his train 3ill go o"" trac$ as your o""ering 9eco+es su''resse- or you
settle "or loving yoursel" an- letting hi+ 9e as he is. 1e 3ill veer into the shallo3s an- your
un+et heart 3ill eventually 9eco+e +ire- in -ar$ +oo-s.
I" you 3ant a relationshi' that re"lects the sacre-: then: +o+ent 9y +o+ent: re4"eel your
-ee'est heart8s yearning. Don8t 9e si-etrac$e- 9y lesser -esires: unless you 3ant to
attract an- ins'ire a +an e?ually si-etrac$e-. A +an that you choose "ro+ your lesser
-esires +ay 'rovi-e security: a "a+ily: an- "un vacations: 9ut he 3on8t $no3 ho3 to live 3ith
you in -ee' an- -ivine love. By "eeling an- o""ering only your lesser -esires: you 3ill attract
an- ins'ire a +an 3ho o""ers less than your -ee'est heart 3ants.
I" you 3ant a +an 3ho can o""er his -ee'est consciousness an- create a sacre- relationshi'
3ith you44'erha's 3hile also 'rovi-ing security: "a+ily: an- vacations44then "eel: trust: an-
o""er your heart8s -ee'est yearning. hen: your love8s +ost -ivine longing an- -ee'est
3is-o+ 3ill choose the +an you truly value an- ins'ire. Your relationshi' 3ill re"lect your
heart8s +ost sacre- light.
11
E+*re!!ing 6lea!ure an0 3urt
7hen I a+ 3ith you: I 3ant to $no3 ho3 I8+ a""ecting you. I really 3ant to $no3 ho3 you
are "eeling: right no3: in the 'resent +o+ent. I 3ant to $no3 3hat your -ee'est heart is
"eeling. But o"ten: I a+ -u+9"oun-e- 9y your e+otional res'onses. Everything see+s "ine to
+e: an- then su--enly you are angry: or crying: or u'set a9out so+ething.
7hen 3e tal$ a9out it: I o"ten -iscover that your e+otions starte- 3ith so+ething that I
-i- yester-ay: or ten +inutes ago. &o: I8+ "rustrate-. You are u'set: 9ut I can8t -o
anything a9out the 'ast: an- I o"ten -on8t re+e+9er things as you -o. &o+eti+es you can8t
tell +e 3hy you "eel so 9a-. An- I -on8t see+ very goo- at "iguring it out: es'ecially 3hen
you -on8t e(actly $no3 yoursel".
42
But there are other ti+es 3hen your e+otional res'onses o'en +y heart. 7hen I -o
so+ething that hurts you an- you i++e-iately sho3 +e your hurt: then I can un-erstan-
your "eelings. #y heart can "eel your heart8s res'onse to +y actions: right no3. I really
treasure 3hen you i++e-iately sho3 +e your 'leasure or your 'ain: 9ecause then I can learn
an- gro3. I truly -o 3ant to $no3 ho3 you are "eeling: 9ut I 9est learn ho3 to 9e 3ith you
+ore -ee'ly an- 3ith +ore integrity 9y $no3ing your "eeling4 res'onse right no3: as your
-ee'est heart un"ol-s: not 9y hearing a9out 3hat you have hel- in "ro+ the 'ast.
&e(ually an- in every-ay li"e: 3hen your lover can "eel your energy an- s$ill"ully gui-e you to
-ee'er an- +ore 'assionate "lo3: your 9o-y rela(es. You can trust hi+: an- surren-er to
the -e'th o" his loving co++an-. 7hen he see+s una9le to "eel you: then you naturally
3ith-ra3 your trust: ta$e control: an- -o your 9est to lea- yoursel".
It8s se(y to receive your +an8s love4ca'acity "eeling an- +oving 3ith your energy: ta$ing
you to +ore thrilling highs o" 'leasure an- 'ro"oun- -e'ths o" surren-erG <ust so: he "in-s
your energetic res'onsiveness to 9e se(y. In "act: +ost +en "in- nothing se(ier than a
3o+an8s res'onsiveness.
In se(ual e+9race 3ith your truste- lover: -oes your entire 9o-y ri''le o'en 3hen his
"ingerti' gra=es your ni''le> Do you o'enly 3ee' 3hen he o""ers you his love> Does your
heart res'on- in -evotional 3orshi' 3hen he o""ers you his -ee' consciousness an-
'resence>
.e3 +en are 3orthy o" your total trust: 9ut i" you 3ere 3ith a trusta9le +an 3oul- you 9e
a9le to o""er your 9o-y 3i-e o'en: surren-ering o'en 9eyon- the e-ges o" the universe:
o""ering hi+ +ore o" your a3eso+e 'leasure than he has ever ha- the 9lessing to 9ehol->
You 3ill attract an- ins'ire a +an 3ho can ta$e you o'en into 9liss as -ee'ly as you can o""er
hi+ your heart8s 9liss to ta$e through the love4res'onsiveness o" your 9o-y. he greatest
asset o" se(iness you can o""er a -ee' +an is your heart8s energy ri''ling out through your
9o-y: through the 3ay you +ove your hi's: sho3 your 9reasts: +oan your 'leasure: an-
3rithe your surren-er.
A young rigi- 3o+an: close- -o3n an- energetically -ea-: is "ar less se(y than an ol-er
3o+an 3ho o""ers her heart4o'en 'leasure in surges o" a9an-one- +oans an- un-ulating
sensuality: 3hose -evotional eyes an- +outh an- vagina an- legs +ove an- o'en as
un?uencha9le yearning: 3hose trust is total: 3ho gives her +an her -ee'est heart an- every
ounce o" her o3n 'leasure as a gi"t "or hi+ to "eel: 3orshi': an- 9ehol-44such a 3o+an is
agelessly se(y. &he is groun-e- in her heart an- generous 3ith love8s o""ering.
Besi-es your heart8s 'leasure: your heart8s 'ain is also a gi"t: i" given through an o'en 9o-y
an- heart. You can i+agine 3hat it "eels li$e to 9e 3ith your +an as he loo$s -ee' into your
eyes: sits tall an- strong: "eels into your heart: an- 3ithout averting his ga=e: he 9egins
crying. .eeling a +an so vulnera9le in his strength is incre-i9ly se(y. Li$e3ise: 3hen you
allo3 your e+otions to 9e seen an- "elt "ully through your 9o-y: "ace: an- soun-: your +an
"eels your res'onsive aliveness an- yearning: your o'enness to 9e +ove- 9y love8s energy.
But there is a 9ig -i""erence 9et3een accu+ulating your e+otions44eventually e('ressing
the+ in a to(ic -u+' o" tense 9uil-4u'44an- 9eing a9le to s'ontaneously e('ress every
nuance o" e+otion as the "lo3 o'ens through you. &'ontaneous e+otional e('ression: "ro+
your -ee' heart through your o'en 9o-y an- rela(e- 9reath 3ith no closure or tension: is a
natural e('ression o" love44even i" love is e('resse- as sorro3: anger: or "ear.
7ith 'ractice: you can learn to o""er your 'leasure: 'ain: an- e+otions s'ontaneously an-
res'onsively as soon as they occur: letting go o" the+ instantly: al3ays 3ith your heart o'en
43
an- connecting 3ith your lover8s heart: even as your 'leasure: 'ain: an- e+otions "lo3. he
+o+ent you close your eyes: tense your 9elly or <a3: turn a3ay: restrain your 9reath: or
colla'se in a 9all on the "loor: you are no longer o'ening 9ut closing. E+otional "lo3 no3
9eco+es 'ent4u' energy: an- sharing this accu+ulate-: un-igeste- e+otional +ass 3ith your
lover -oesn8t allo3 hi+ to "eel your heart8s o'en yearning.
A 3ee'ing an- o'en 3o+an is very se(yG a 3ee'ing an- close- 3o+an is not.
You can learn to stay o'en 3hile all o" your e+otions "lo3. Even 3hen anger is "lo3ing: you
can learn to re+ain in eye contact 3ith your lover. You can 'ractice 9reathing 3ith hi+:
"eeling his heart: "eeling his love "or you an- your love "or hi+. You can 'ractice rela(ing
your 9o-y o'en: o""ering hi+ your vulnera9le heart8s 'ain an- yearning even 3hile you are
yelling an- shouting.
All e+otions can an- -o "lo3 3hen your heart is o'en an- connecte- 3ith your lover8s heart.
his o'enness is se(y: even i" it is also angry: or sa-: or a"rai-. You si+'ly o""er your
e+otions through the o'enness o" your 9o-y an- heart as they ri''le through you. ;o
resi-ue re+ains. You +ay screa+ in rage one +o+ent an- then o'en to 9e ta$en se(ually in
the ne(t +o+ent.
7ith 'ractice: you can e('ress your e+otions "ro+ your -ee'est heart through your o'en
9o-y in s'ontaneous res'onse to everything: 9oth seen an- unseen. Li$e the 3eather: your
e+otions are too huge an- co+'le(: their in"luences too nu+erous an- untracea9le: to 9e
+entally un-erstan-a9le. You -on8t have to $no3 3hy you "eel 3hatever you are "eeling in
or-er to o'en an- e('ress your heart8s -ee' yearning.
A $ey to -ee'ening inti+acy is to $ee' your heart8s yearning o'en an- connecte- 3ith your
lover 3hile your e+otions +ove through you. I" you are a"rai- to e('ress yoursel": then you
3ill accu+ulate 'ent4u' e+otions insi-e.
.or instance: i" your +an is not "ully 'resent 3ith you: then your heart 3ill "eel hurt. I" you
-on8t allo3 this hurt to 9e e('resse- "ully an- s'ontaneously "ro+ your o'en heart44as
tears or cries o" 'ain44then this e+otional energy 9eco+es "rustrate- 9ehin- your
su''ression an- trans"or+s into anger. Your 'ri+ary e+otion: in this case: is hurt. Your
secon-ary e+otion is anger: 9uilt 9y the su''ression o" your hurt.
You can let loose the secon-ary e+otion44anger44"or your o3n sa$e: <ust to release tension
an- let go o" stress. You can shout an- 9ang on a 'illo3: "or instance. But your +an 3ill "in-
your secon-ary e+otion un3or$a9le an- not 'articularly inviting. o hi+: your secon-ary
e+otional energy 3ill "eel li$e vestigial tension "ro+ the 'ast. An- your 'ri+ary e+otion44
hurt: in this case443ill re+ain une('resse-. Your +an 3on8t 9e a9le to "eel your heart8s
genuine yearning.
*ne $ey to cultivating a -ee' relationshi' is to al3ays e('ress your -ee'est yearning
through the 'ri+ary e+otion that e+erges "ro+ your o'en heart. E('ress your -ee'est
heart i++e-iately an- s'ontaneously through your o'en an- rela(e- 9o-y: 9e"ore
su''ressing it an- allo3ing a secon-ary e+otion to 9uil- u' insi-e.
*""er your +an the s'ontaneous an- res'onsive +usic o" your yearning heart: 3hich is
e('resse- through your 'ri+ary e+otion. Your 'ri+ary e+otion +ay 9e anger: hurt: sa-ness:
"ear: grie": or any energy e+erging "ro+ your heart8s -ee'est longing. *l- hurts +ay also
"lush out: 9ut everything is o""ere- "ro+ the -ee'est 'lace o" love8s yearning that you can
occu'y.
1o3 3ill your +an res'on- to the s'ontaneous e('ression o" your heart8s 'ri+ary e+otion>
Lesser +en 3ill try to silence you through -o+ination or try to cal+ you -o3n so you can tal$
44
a9out your "eelings. But a -ee' +an 3ill "ully inha9it your heart8s +usic. 1is -ee'
inha9itance 3ill serve to o'en your heart: an- your 'ri+ary e+otion 3ill e('ress "ully 3ith no
resi-ue.
!ive yoursel" an- your +an so+e ti+e to change gears "ro+ your ol- 3ays o" relating. !ive
your +an a chance to learn ho3 to o'en 3ith your -ee'er heart8s e('ression. It ta$es
'ractice an- courage to ris$ o'ening your hearts together as your 'ri+ary e+otions "lo3.
7hen your heart8s yearning is o'en an- connecte- 3ith your lover8s heart: you +ay screa+
an- then rela( an- laugh. You +ay cry an- then s+ile: "eeling your +an8s loving 'resence.
Your 'ri+ary e+otions 3ill continue to cycle an- "lo3: 9ut you 3on8t su''ress yoursel" even
"or a +o+ent: an- so no secon-ary e+otions 3ill have a chance to 9uil- u' insi-e o" you.
You 3on8t "in- yoursel" Fnee-ing to tal$ a9out so+ethingF 3ith your +an too o"ten: 9ecause
+o+ent 9y +o+ent your heart is e('ressing everything: 3hile also yearning +ore -ee'ly
o'en in res'onse to 9eing clai+e-. Kno3ing you 3on8t have to e('lain your "eelings allo3s you
to rela( in -ee'er an- "uller e('ression.
Your clai+e- heart is una"rai- to o""er your s'ontaneous e+otional +usic. You -o not "ear
loss o" love or -isa''roval: nor -o you thin$ that you are 3ea$ "or en<oying your +an8s clai+
o" your heart. Your heart is inha9ite- 9y your +an8s un"linching 'resence: an- there"ore
your heart can s'ontaneously sing or 3ail or 3ee'443hile o'ening in -evotion to the love that
"ills you so "ully.
12
'a!culine n!en!itivit#
I loo$ at you so+eti+es an- 3on-er: F7hat is going on 3ith her>F I can tell that so+ething
is ha''ening: 9ut I -on8t $no3 3hat. Are you angry 9ut not sho3ing it> Are you 9ore- 9ut
not saying it> Are you si+'ly ha''y an- rela(e-> &o+eti+es I really can8t tell.
Even -uring se( I 3on-er. Are you +otionless 9ecause you are lost in 9liss or 9ecause you
are trying to give +e a +essage that you are tire-> Di- you <ust have an orgas+ or -i- I
acci-entally hurt you: so you tre+9le- an- +oane-> Are you rea-y to sto' +a$ing love or
<ust getting starte->
I try to "eel into you 9ut o"ten I8+ at a loss. Your 3o+en "rien-s -on8t see+ to have this
'ro9le+. hey see+ a9le to rea- your "eelings in the su9tle 3ay you narro3 your eyes or
'ause as you s'ea$ or 3ithhol- your touch. But I8+ not as sensitive as your "rien-s are:
although I really -o 3ant to get your +essages. I nee- you to a+'li"y your co++unication
"or +y sa$e so I can notice an- ho'e"ully un-erstan- the +essages you +ay 9e sen-ing.
he +asculine lives in a -o+ain o" goals an- sche-ules: righteousness an- in<ustice: success
an- "ailure. 1e 'ro9a9ly can8t "eel the su9tle energetic +essages that you give hi+ until
your energy is ?uite lou-. You +ight 9e angry "or three -ays 9e"ore he notices an- as$s: FIs
so+ething 3rong>F Li$e3ise: in 9e-: your 'leasure +ay 9e invisi9le to hi+ as he 3on-ers:
FDi- you co+e>F
he +asculine is not sensitive to the very energy that is your +ost o9vious environ+ent.
here"ore: you +ay nee- to e(aggerate your res'onses i" you 3ant your +an to ta$e your
heart into account. Don8t "a$e your "eelings. .ully e+9o-y an- e(aggerate-ly +agni"y your
heart8s true res'onse "or the sa$e o" your +an8s F-ea"nessF an- F9lin-nessF co+'are- to
your sensitivity.
7hen your heart is thrille- 3ith the -e'th an- integrity your +an is o""ering: then sho3
hi+. Lou-ly. *vertly. 7ra' yoursel" aroun- hi+ as you +a$e orgas+ic soun-s o" 'leasure.
45
ell hi+ that you 3orshi' his integrity. Actually say: FI 3orshi' the -e'th o" your
consciousness. I 3orshi' your -e'th o" heart. I love your integrity.F
*n the other han-: 3hen your +an is o"": 3hen his integrity -isintegrates 9ehin- his "alse
'ursuits an- narro3 9lin-ness: let hi+ $no3 e?ually lou-ly. Yell an- screa+. 7ee' an-
tre+9le. &ho3 your -isgust as i" acting on a stage to an au-ience o" thousan-s. #agni"y your
-is'leasure as 3ell as your 'leasure: an- your +an 3ill notice.
Although lesser +en 3ill run or turn a3ay44you8- 9e 9etter o"" 3ithout the+ any3ay44a
-ee' +an 3ill res'on- to your 3orshi' or 3rath 3ith instantaneous correction o" action.
Your 3orshi' o" his integrity -ra3s hi+ -ee'er into love: o'ening hi+ to "eel -ee' into your
heart8s intuition an- 3is-o+: encouraging hi+ an- e+'o3ering his co++it+ent to love8s
-e'th. Your 3rath in res'onse to his occasional sel"4-ece'tion or nu+9 a+9iguity 3ill 9e a
sla' on his "ace: a3a$ening hi+ to an e+ergency situation o" 3hich he 3as 'ro9a9ly una3are:
giving hi+ the o''ortunity to ta$e urgent +easures instea- o" 9lin-ly 9u+9ling on.
7ithout your e(aggerate- heart4res'onsiveness: your +an 3ill ten- to lose touch 3ith
everything 9ut his o3n agen-a. 1e +ay 9e a9le to +aintain a relationshi' 3ith you: 9ut his
consciousness ten-s to 9eco+e shallo3e- in the 'ursuit o" 'aths an- 'oints o" co+'letion.
1is li"e 9eco+es "lat. Your heart8s "ully o""ere- energy443rath"ul or -evotional44a3a$ens
an- -ee'ens your +an8s heart into a -o+ain o" other3ise inaccessi9le sensitivity.
6e+e+9er that your heart8s e('ressions -on8t al3ays nee- to 9e s?uee=e- into 3or-s o"
sensi9le reason. &o+eti+es it is 9etter to give your +an a chance to "eel your heart4
res'onsive energy 3ithout trying to +entally "igure out the content through your 3or-s. You
+ay not 9e a9le to e(actly e('lain your "eelings: any3ay. You +ay 3ant to give hi+ a chance
to "eel an- 'enetrate your "lo3 3ith his loving 'resence so he can co+e to $no3 your
-ee'est heart as his. hen: even your heart8s ine('lica9le an- un"atho+a9le 3is-o+ can
"ine4tune his li"e8s o""ering44as long as you +agni"y your res'onses enough so he notices@
24
3o5 to Sta# O*en
You an- I have ha9its that act to se'arate us: es'ecially in ti+es o" intensity. 7hen 3e are
u'set 3ith each other: so+eti+es I get terse an- rigi-. &o+eti+es you a''ear to get s3e't
a3ay in the "lo3 o" your e+otions: an- I can no longer "eel your heart o" love. I $no3 you
love +e. An- I love you. But so+eti+es 3e get lost insi-e our o3n shells o" closure: an- 3e
-on8t allo3 our hearts to connect in love.
I 3ant to learn ho3 to stay -ee'ly connecte- 3ith you in love: even 3hen our shells o" "ear
3oul- other3ise $ee' us a'art. I co++it to 'racticing love: "irst 9y loving +ysel" as I a+
right no3: an- then 9y loving you as you are right no3. But 9eyon- that: I co++it to o'ening
as the love that lives larger than you or +e or our relationshi'. I 3ant to <oin 3ith you in
t3o49o-ie- loving so 3e can learn to o'en as the love that lives as the entire universe: the
love yearning o'en "ro+ the -e'ths o" everyone8s heart.
&o+e 3o+en con"use o'enness 3ith a sense o" "eeling goo-. But you can 9e o'en an- still
"eel great 'ain or the "ull range o" e+otional +usic. You can 9e angry: sa-: or even a"rai-
an- still 9e o'en. You can 3ant to $ill your +an an- still 9e o'en. *'enness is a trust o" 3hat
you are "eeling44this trust is love. 7hatever you "eel: you can love your o3n e+otions as 3ell
as your +an8s44an- 9eyon-.
7ith 'ractice: your heart trusts o'en: loving your shells: your e+otions: an- 3hatever
energy +oves through you an- your +an: no +atter ho3 9a- you "eel. 7hen you can o'en in
46
trust then you are alive as love: even 3hen love "lo3s as the energy o" anger: sa-ness: or
"ear. o allo3 you an- your +an to gro3 into -ee'er love an- trust: you can ran-o+ly
'ractice "ive $ey e(ercises -aily: es'ecially -uring e+otionally intense +o+entsC
1. Connect through your eyes
&u''ose that your lover insults you: then ignores you. You are hurt an- 9egin to "u+e insi-e.
1e loo$s a3ay "ro+ you: or you close your eyes.
Instea-: +aintain eye contact. Even i" you are u'set: loo$ -irectly into your +an8s eyes. I"
you loo$ -ee'ly enough into his heart: you 3ill "eel the 'art o" hi+ that you love: even i" you
are in a +o+ent o" hate.
Actually loo$ into your +an8s eyes an- "eel his -ee' strength: integrity: an- his love "or you.
5erha's you can only see a s'ec$ o" his strength an- integrity a+i-st a 3hole lot o" +uc$:
9ut $ee' "eeling into this s'ec$. Do your 9est to love the +uc$: an- then love -ee'er into
his heart: "eeling his love "or you: even i" +ost o" hi+ see+s re'ulse-. 1e has chosen youG
he is 3ith youG -ee' -o3n you can "eel 3here he still loves you: right no3. !a=e into his
-ee'est heart: an- o""er hi+ your -ee'est heart through your o'en eyes.
2. Breathe together
7hen you constrict your 9reath then you 9loc$ your e+otional energy. I" you 9reathe "ully:
then your energy can "lo3 "ully. I" you can "eel your +an8s energy 3hile you 9reathe "ully:
then his energy can "lo3 "ully 3ith you. I" you contract your 9reath: then you 3on8t 9e a9le
to "eel your +an or yoursel" "ully. Your heart 3ill re+ain isolate- 9ehin- your su''resse-
9reath.
&o: o""er the 'ossi9ility o" energetic connection 9y 9reathing o'en 3ith your +an. .irst: -o
your 9est to love you an- your +an <ust as you are: rela(ing your 9reath +ore o'en. hen:
"eel your +an8s 9reath: +atching your 9reath 3ith his. Allo3 yoursel" to "eel 3hat your +an
is "eeling: 9reathing ho3 your +an is 9reathing. Breathe together 3hile ga=ing into each
other8s eyes: even i" you 9oth "eel li$e strangling each other.
5ractice to o'en your heart in love an- trust 9y 9reathing your +an in an- out. Breathe his
love an- his stu'i-ity: his strength an- his 9lin-ness: his s3eetness an- his anger. Breathe
all the ?ualities o" your +an in an- out: an- o'en so you can 9reathe 3ith hi+ as one
9reathing t3o49o-ie- 9eing o" love.
3. 6ela( your 9o-y
6ela(ing -oesn8t +ean going li+'. o rela( +eans to o'en so the currents o" love an-
e+otional energy can "lo3 through your 9o-y uni+'e-e-. You can rela( an- shout an- <u+'
u' an- -o3n. You can rela( an- 3hi+'er an- 3ail. 7hen you rela(: love eases your rigi-
+uscles so that all energies can +ove "reely through you.
Your so"test 'arts are +ost i+'ortant to o'en 3hile you are "lo3ing 3ith e+otion. Your li's
an- tongue: your throat: your heart: your 3hole 9elly: your genitals44all the so"t 'arts in the
center an- "ront o" your 9o-y are the +ain avenues44or roa-9loc$s44to the "lo3 o" your
energy.
I" your 9elly is tight: then your anger 3ill stay stu""e-: only to eru't later in to(ic release
or sel"4a9use. I" your heart is close-: your e+otions 3ill ricochet -estructively: lashing
in3ar-ly or out3ar-ly 3ithout love. I" your <a3 is clenche-: then your hea- an- 9o-y 9eco+e
-isconnecte-: an- energy 3ill accu+ulate as tension in your shoul-ers an- 'oun- in your
s$ull.
But i" you love your 9o-y: i" you o'en your 9elly: heart: an- throat: i" your "ace an- genitals
ease o'en an- rela(: then your e+otions can "lo3 "reely through you. Your 9o-y can 9e
47
+ove- 9y your heart8s true yearning an- the s'ontaneous "lo3 o" your -ee'est e+otional
energy44you 3ill 9e -ance- 9y your heart8s -ee'est love an- energy.
5erha's your -ance 3ill "lo3 3ith grie" or s'ite or terror. You can love 3hatever is "lo3ing
through you. I" you -o not cla+' -o3n an- sto' the "lo3: your energy 3ill e+erge "ro+ your
-ee'est heart s'ontaneously: e('ressing your heart8s o'en yearning: an- then the ne(t 3ave
o" yearning an- energy 3ill e+erge through your 9o-y as love8s "ree "lo3.
4. .eel "ro+ your -ee'est heart to his
7hile ga=ing into your lover8s eyes: 9reathing 3ith hi+: an- rela(ing your 9o-y to 9e -ance-
o'en 9y love8s yearning an- energy: also "eel into your lover8s heart. .ro+ your heart:
e(ten- your "eelers into his heart. 6each into his heart "ro+ yours: an- o'en your heart to
receive his heart8s love.
his is very -i""icult in the +i-st o" e+otional intensity. I" your +an is shouting at you: or
you are hating your +an: then your heart 3ill try to -isconnect "ro+ hi+ to 'rotect itsel".
You +ust intentionally e(ten- your heart4"eelers into your lover8s heart in +o+ents li$e
these. Intense e+otion is no e(cuse "or a -isconnecte- heart. I" you 3ant -ee' inti+acy:
you +ust 'ractice connecting your -ee' heart -irectly to his: even 3hen "eeling his heart is
the last thing you 3ant to -o.
hese are the +ost critical +o+entsC 3hen you are hurting each other: 3ill you 'ractice
loving your hurt: loving his hurt: an- so"tening o'en so you can o""er your heart even +ore
-ee'ly: "eeling into his -ee'est heart 3hile o'ening to receive his heart4"eelers>
I" you cannot 'ractice "eeling his -ee'est heart "ro+ yours: then you are 'racticing so+e
-egree o" se'aration. You are -enying the -ee'est yearning o" your heart.
You are re"using to yearn o'en as the "ullness o" -ivine love44you are -isa9ling even the
'ossi9ility o" -ee' connection 3ith your lover. hese are the +o+ents 3hen the +ost is
gaine- "ro+ 'racticing to stay o'en.
;o +atter ho3 callous or un'resent your +an is 9eing: 'ractice loving an- acce'ting yoursel"
an- your lover <ust as you are: "eeling everything you are "eeling: an- then o'en your heart
to e(ten- your "eelers into his -ee'est heart.
.eel your lover8s -ee'est heart "ro+ yours. You can -o this 3hile shouting an- screa+ing.
You can -o this 3hile 9rea$ing -ishes on the "loor or crying your eyes out. ;o +atter ho3
your energy "lo3s or ho3 he turns a3ay: you can 'ractice loving the 3aves o" e+otional
energy that +ove through 9oth o" you 3hile o'ening your heart to "eel his.
%. E('ress yoursel" s'ontaneously
7hile you +aintain the 'revious 'ractices44staying in eye contact: 9reathing together:
rela(ing your 9o-y o'en: an- "eeling your lover8s -ee'est heart "ro+ yours44you can
'ractice trusting the s'ontaneous e+otional e('ression e+erging "ro+ your heart. Hust
allo3 your 9o-y to -o 3hat it -oes: as long as you are lovingly rela(ing o'en an- +aintaining
"eeling4contact 3ith your lover through eyes: 9reath: an- heart.
Allo3 your 9o-y to 9e -ance- 9y the "ull an- unta+e- "lo3 o" your e+otional "orce an- your
heart8s ten-er yearning. I" anger +oves through you: then love your anger: vulnera9ly
allo3ing every 'art o" you to +ove 3ith anger44your toes an- "ingers: your 9elly an- vagina:
your legs an- ears443hile staying "eelingly connecte- 3ith your lover.
I" you 3ant: you can use 3or-s to e('ress the "lo3 o" energy that +oves through you. But
o"ten: your yearning heart is +ost "ully e('resse- through 3hole49o-y: non4ver9al
o""erings. *'en as anger an- sho3 your hurt through soun-s: "acial e('ressions: an- 3hole4
9o-y gestures. Allo3 your 9o-y to 9e s'ontaneously -ance- 9y love8s -ee'est energy.
48
By learning to stay o'en 3ith your lover: even 3hile he is re<ecting you an- you are rea-y to
tear his hea- o"": your hearts are availa9le to touch: serving each other to o'en in -ee'er
e('ression an- co++union. 1is heart8s 'ersistent loving 'erva-es your -ra+a o" o'ening an-
closing. Your heart8s -evotion 'rovi-es an ever43elco+ing ho+e "or your +an8s "ear"ul
co+ing an- going.
*ver ti+e: all e(cuses to stay close- eva'orate in love8s o'enness. hen: you can truly
e(ten- your heart8s yearning 9eyon- sel"4love: through the t3o49o-ie- "or+ o" -evotional
o'enness: an- to all 9eings: 3ithout your shells44or his44hol-ing you 9ac$.
By learning to love your shells an- your lover8s: an- then loving through your shells to
connect "ully 3ith your lover8s -ee'est heart: you 9egin to learn ho3 to "eel the -ee'est
heart o" all 9eings: 9reathing the <oy an- su""ering o" all 9eings: o'ening as the love that
lives an- yearns at everyone8s heart.
21
O*ening Be#on0 an -*a!!e
I have learne- +ore "ro+ you a9out +y o3n 9lin-ness than "ro+ anyone else. #any ti+es:
your 'aine- "ace an- 3oun-e- heart have sho3n +e that I have 9een living short o" +y
'otential: o""ering +y li"e 3ith less integrity than +y heart coul- truly o""er. I <ust can8t
see it 9y +ysel".
I try. I8+ 3illing to loo$ at +y li"e an- listen to the "ee-9ac$ o" others. But even so: I have
9lin- s'ots that a''arently allo3 +e to continue living in 3ays that are less true to love than
I can live. An- your heart8s sensitivity al3ays sho3s +e 3hat I can8t see 9ecause o" +y o3n
shells. I trust your heart8s -e'th to reveal the 'arts o" +y li"e that +y shells $ee' hi--en
"ro+ +y vie3.
Because the "e+inine is connecte- 3ith the "lo3 o" li"e energy +uch +ore inti+ately than
the +asculine is: you 3ill o"ten "eel 3hen your +an is Fo""F 9e"ore he -oes. You 3ill 9e a9le
to "eel instantly 3hen he is lying to hi+sel" or to others. Your heart 3ill cringe. Your 9o-y
3ill tense. Your 9reath 3ill tighten.
You +ay not $no3 e(actly 3hy. You +ay not 9e a9le to 'recisely articulate 3hat you "eel is
Fo""F a9out your +an8s actionsG you <ust $no3 that your heart "eels so+ething is a+iss. Your
+an is not living his -ee'est truth: he is not "eeling your heart an- every9o-y else8s as
-ee'ly as he canC he is -eceiving hi+sel": living in his o3n <usti"ications: an- choosing a
course that is less than his -ee'est gi"t.
You +ay try to tell hi+ a9out 3hat you "eel: 9ut he can8t see it. *r: he +ay a-+it that he is
Fo"":F an- then he +ay -o nothing a9out it. 7hen you try to tal$ 3ith hi+ a9out the 3ay he
is living his li"e: you +ay "eel hi+ -e"en-ing hi+sel": getting angry an- -e"lecting your
insight.
1e +ay tell you that you are 'ro<ecting your o3n nee-s onto hi+. 1e +ay clai+ that he is
9eing honest 3ith hi+sel" an- 3ith you: or that he is -oing everything he can. Eventually: you
+ay <ust give u' trying to hel' hi+ see his 9lin- s'ot. You +ay even 9egin to ?uestion your
o3n heart44-o you really "eel his sel"4-ece'tion or is it your o3n 9loc$ that you are u'
against> Are you the one 3ho can8t "eel your +an8s integrity: or is his integrity actually
Fo"">F Are you a"rai- to totally surren-er to your +an8s se(ual clai+: or is he truly 9lin- to
your -ee'est heart8s yearning>
49
I" you -on8t trust your +an: you can8t surren-er o'en 3ith hi+: se(ually or other3ise. I" he
-enies that he is Fo""F 9ut you continue to "eel it: then your "rustration: rage: an- con"usion
9uil- insi-e. You 9egin to "eel stuc$: "ull o" 'ain: una9le to tell 3hat is Fhis stu""F or Fyour
stu"".F he se'aration 9et3een you an- your +an gro3s.
;aturally: you try to gui-e yoursel" 3hen you -on8t "ully trust your +an. You 9egin to rely on
your o3n +asculine ca'acity to navigate: since your +an see+s un3illing to even consi-er
that he has a 9lin- s'ot li+iting his integrity. *r: he consi-ers it: "eels nothing: an- then
-is+isses it as your o3n e+otional nee-iness an- lac$ o" trust. Yet: you can still "eel
so+ething o"": so+ething not ?uite right: a9out the 3ay your +an is con-ucting hi+sel" in
the 3orl- an- in 9e-.
*ther than those critical +o+ents 3hen telling your +an e(actly 3hat to -o is -e"initely
calle- "or: your t3o49o-ie- trust 3oul- gro3 -ee'est 9y giving your +an your "ully
e('resse- "eelings 3hile allo3ing hi+ the chance to correct his o3n actions. 6ather than
telling hi+ e(actly 3hat to -o 3ith your +asculine -irectional gui-ance: tell hi+ 3ith 3or-s
an- sho3 hi+ through your 9o-y an- e('ressions ho3 you "eel.
6e"lect to hi+ ho3 his Fo""nessF hurts you an- a""ects your heart. 6ather than saying: FI
thin$ you shoul- -o such an- such:F e('ress 3hat you "eel44hurt: an(ious: +istrust"ul449ut
allo3 hi+ to "in- his o3n 3ay to a correction an- learn to navigate "ro+ a -ee'er truth.
I" you regularly tell your +an 3hat to -o44even i" you can clearly see 3hat course he nee-s
to ta$e44then you are -e'riving hi+ o" a learning o''ortunity. You are ste''ing in an-
a''lying your +asculine ca'acity to navigate rather than allo3ing hi+ the chance to e(ercise
an- cultivate his o3n +asculine navigational s$ills. You are creating a relationshi' in 3hich he
3ill co+e to -e'en- on your +asculine gui-ance. Is this 3hat you 3ant> Can you "ully
surren-er your heart an- 9o-y to a +an 3ho regularly -e'en-s on you to tell hi+ 3hat to
-o>
*9viously: there are critical +o+ents in li"e 3hen you shoul- ste' in an- ta$e charge "or
the sa$e o" you: your +an: an- your "a+ily. But ho3 o"ten -o you 3ant to 9e in charge o"
your +an 9ecause he hasn8t learne- to navigate> 1o3 is your se(ual -esire "or one another
a""ecte- 3hen you ta$e charge an- tell hi+ 3hat to -o>
Learn to trust an- value your heart8s -ee' sensitivity. .ully e('ress to your +an ho3 you
"eel as your lives 'rocee- together: +o+ent 9y +o+ent. But: as "re?uently as it "eels
a''ro'riate: give your +an the o''ortunity to ste' into the s'ace o" 9eing the navigator. I"
you -on8t relin?uish this s'ace "or hi+ to ste' into: then he +ay never learn to gui-e 3ith
integrity an- correct his o3n errors: an- you +ay never "ully trust hi+ 3ith your heart8s
surren-er: se(ually or s'iritually. Your +an +ay 9e 3illing to listen to 3hat you thin$ he
shoul- -o: 9ut the 'rice you 'ay "or hi+ ste''ing asi-e to let you navigate is se(ual
neutrali=ation an- s'iritual +istrust.
#ean3hile: -on8t su''ress your 'ain an- 'assively 3ait "or hi+ to get his act together. &ho3
hi+ your 3ince every ti+e his actions are shallo3er than you $no3 he is ca'a9le o" living.
&hout your anger every ti+e he 'ersists in -enying his lac$ o" integrity. Every ti+e you "eel
hi+ unrece'tive to so+eone8s honest "ee-9ac$44yours or his "rien-s844-is'lay your -isgust.
!ive your +an your "ullest e('ression in res'onse to his sel"4-ece'tion or 9lun-ers: an-
allo3 hi+ the o''ortunity to learn ho3 to correct hi+sel".
Your energetic attune+ent is a gi"t to your +an. 1e o"ten gets lost in the sur"ace results
3hereas you can "eel 3hether his -ee'est heart lives through his actions. You can sho3 hi+:
through your 'leasure or -is'leasure: ho3 'ro"oun-ly his heart4-e'th a""ects you. 1e
50
'ro9a9ly has no i-ea that you are so 'aine- 3hen he lives his li"e less -ee'ly than you $no3
he can. 1e 'ro9a9ly can8t "eel his o3n lac$ o" -e'th44he gets lost in rote tas$s an- the
results o" his actions. A''arent success is o"ten enough 'roo" "or hi+ to thin$ he is -oing
the right thing. &o your heart8s res'onse +ay 9e his only 3ay to "eel that he coul- 9e living
+ore -ee'ly.
I" you 9oth stan- 3ithin your shells: then you 3ill re+ain at an i+'asse: se'arate an- sel"4
reliant. You 3on8t 9e a9le to o'en in t3o49o-ie- -evotional trust.
Your +an +ay say: FI can tell i" I8+ living true to +y o3n heart. 1o3 can you $no3 this
9etter than I>F
You +ay "eel: F7hy are you -e"en-ing yoursel"> I love you an- only 3ant your -ee'est heart
to co+e through your li"e an- our relationshi'. 7hy can8t you see that you are 'ushing +e
an- others a3ay: saying you are o'en to "ee-9ac$ 9ut <usti"ying so+eho3 you are right> I
can8t trust that you 3ill see your errors: so I can8t totally give +ysel" to you.F
Your shells +a$e you the last 'erson a9le to "eel 3hether your true heart is 9eing
e('resse- through your 9o-y to the 3orl-. hat8s 3hy: as you gro3 +ore o'en in t3o49o-ie-
love: you +ust choose an- ins'ire a +an 3hose s'iritual an- se(ual -irection you trust +ore
than your o3n. An- your +an +ust choose an- clai+ a 3o+an44you443hose heart4
res'onsiveness an- -ee' sensitivity he trusts +ore than 3hat he can see "or hi+sel".
22
En0ing Relation!hi*! an0 the 3i-.Sha*e0 Voi0
I 3ant to 9e 3ith you only i" your -ee'est heart trusts to o'en 3ith +ine. You an- I 9oth
have "ears an- nee-s "or security an- co+"ort: 9ut I -on8t 3ant our lesser -esires to li+it
3hat our -ee'est hearts 3ant.
I 3ant your -ee'est heart8s yearning to connect 3ith +ine. I 3ant our relationshi' to hel'
o'en our hearts to !o-: 3hich isn8t 'ossi9le unless 3e 'rioriti=e our -ee'est heart8s
yearning. I" 3e aren8t 9oth co++itte- to loving ourselves: each other: an- all 9eings as
-ee'ly as 'ossi9le: then our love 3ill sto' short 3here our "ear settles "or co+"ort an-
"a+iliarity.
You have tol- +e a9out ho3: in the 'ast: you ha- staye- 3ith a +an 3ho -i-n8t love you
enough to touch your -ee'est heart8s yearning. A"ter you "inally 9ro$e u' 3ith hi+: you still
thought a9out hi+ an- even 3ent 9ac$ a "e3 ti+es ho'ing that things 3ith hi+ 3oul- 9e
-i""erent: that this ti+e it 3oul- 3or$ out. But even your "rien-s $ne3 it 3as a lost cause:
an- eventually you $ne3 it too. You +ove- on: an- no3 you are +ine: -ear lover.
I $no3 your heart hol-s the sha'e o" the +an 3ho has love- you +ost 'ro"oun-ly: an- I
3ant to love you so -ee' that your heart is sha'e- 9y -ivine love8s yearning: o'ening 3i-er
than the entire universe.
As you 'ractice o'ening your heart an- 9o-y to "lo3 3ith love8s yearning: 'leasure: an-
'o3er: you 3ill notice that "e3er an- "e3er +en are interesting to you. You "in- shallo3 +en
9oring. As a lover: you re?uire a +an 3ho challenges you 3ith the "ullness o" his love an-
co++it+ent: a +an 3ho clai+s your heart +ore -ee'ly o'en than you usually o'en 9y
yoursel". .e3 +en can +eet your heart8s re?uire+ents to 9e "ully seen: -ee'ly "elt: an-
ta$en o'en to !o-.
I" you are alrea-y 3ith a +an: as you gro3: his usual -iversions +ay cease to interest you.
Your ol- ha9its o" relating +ay continue: 9ut your heart is untouche- 9y his su'er"icial
contact. 5erha's you use- to en<oy cu--ling "or hoursG no3 you 9egin to 3ant your +an8s
51
-ee'er 'assion. You +ay inter'ret your -esire in strictly se(ual ter+s: 9ut you +ay actually
9e "eeling your heart8s -ee'er yearning44to 9e clai+e- 9y !o-8s "orce through a +an8s love.
&e( +ay certainly 9e a 9ig 'art o" it: 9ut your genuine -esire is "or a +an 3hose very
'resence clai+s you an- calls you -ee'er. ;o +atter ho3 +uch resistance you 'ut u': you
3ant a +an 3ho can "eel your -ee' heart443ho s+iles lovingly in the "ace o" your sur"ace
re"usal: gently e+9racing you: su--enly hu+oring you: thun-erously sur'rising you: so"tly
crac$ing your shell o'en: an- entering you 3ith such ten-er 'assion that you +elt o'en in his
love. 1is strength o" love is unyiel-ing an- yet he al3ays "eels your heart.
here aren8t a 3hole lot o" +en 3ho can o""er you this -e'thG there aren8t a 3hole lot o"
3o+en 3ho can res'on- 3ith e?ual -evotional "ullness. &o: as you gro3: you 3ill "in- less +en
an- 3o+en 3ho un-erstan- you: an- less 'otential lovers 3ho you can trust "ully.
But there are -ee' +en out there. I" you aren8t attracting these +en: then you aren8t
a+ongst the "e3 3o+en 3ho are o""ering the irresisti9le -evotion that 3oul- attract the+.
Loo$ at your li"eC you are alrea-y getting: an- have al3ays gotten: the $in- o" +an you
-eserve: e?ually co++itte- to 'racticing o'enness as you are.
I" you co+'lain that you haven8t +et any +en 3ho can o'en you to !o-: or that all the goo-
+en are ta$en: you are co''ing out an- settling "or less "ro+ yoursel". he -e'th o" your
heart8s yearning o""ere- through the 'leasura9le surren-er o" your 9o-y 3ill al3ays attract
a +an 3ho can clai+ you e?ually -ee'44as 3ell as attracting lesser +en to 3ho+ you can say:
F;o: than$ you.F
I" you haven8t "oun- a +an 3orthy o" your trust: or your current +an -oesn8t see+ a9le to
+eet your heart8s -esire to 9e clai+e-: then you haven8t allo3e- your heart8s yearning an-
9o-y8s energy to o'en through your +o+ent4to4+o+ent -evotional surren-er "ully enough.
You have 9een a"rai-: or +istrust"ul. You have hel- 9ac$. &o you have 'ro9a9ly en-e- u'
3ith a +an 3ho hol-s 9ac$44even i" you have no3 gro3n rea-y to o'en +ore "ully.
You +ay "in- yoursel" 3on-ering i" you shoul- stay in your 'resent relationshi' or start a
ne3 one.
#en ten- to leave relationshi's too soon: al3ays loo$ing "or a 9etter o'tion. 7o+en ten- to
stay in relationshi's too long: al3ays ho'ing that their +an 3ill change an- gro3.
o $no3 3hether you shoul- stay in your current relationshi': you nee- to $no3 3hy you are
in relationshi' to 9egin 3ith. Your heart +ust "eel its -ee'est -esire in relationshi': an-
then you can align all your -ecisions "ro+ your true -e'th.
.or instance: is your -ee'est -esire in relationshi' to raise a "a+ily> I" it is: then stay 3ith
your +an as long as he shares this -esire 3ith you44even i" he is less than s'ectacular in 9e-
an- -oesn8t give you the -e'th o" love that you 3ant.
I" your -ee'est -esire in relationshi' is to create "inancial security an- a co+"orta9le
ho+e: then stay 3ith your +an as long as he co4creates your vision o" li"e 3ith you44even i"
your heart still yearns to 9e ravishe- o'en an- your +an see+s unintereste- in s'iritual
+atters.
7hat -o you "eel 3hen you "eel into your -ee'est -esire in relationshi'> You +ay 3ant a
large "a+ily: +oney in the 9an$: an- a house in the country: 9ut is this the totality o" your
heart8s -ee'est yearning>
5erha's: in a--ition to everything else: your -ee' heart yearns to 9e seen an- $no3n an-
love- so "ully that your yearning un"ol-s 3i-e as !o- an- -ivine love o'ens 9oun-lessly
through you an- the hearts o" all 9eings. I" this is a 'ri+ary as'ect o" your -ee'est -esire
in relationshi': then you 3ant a +an 3ho evo$es your -evotional surren-er 3ith his
52
un-enia9le love an- un-ou9ta9le clai+ o" your heart. I" he -oes so: then stay 3ith hi+. I" he
-oesn8t: then 3hy are you choosing hi+ to 9egin 3ith>
In 'art: you +ay choose to 9e 3ith your +an "or reasons o" security an- "a+iliarity. You
-on8t 3ant to lose your co=y nest. I" you leave your +an: you +ay -ou9t that you8ll 9e a9le
to "in- another +an 3ho loves you +ore a-e?uately. &o: li$e +any 3o+en -o: you +ay stay in
a relationshi' that -oesn8t touch your -ee'est heart.
You have 'ro9a9ly staye- 3ith a +an 3ho -oesn8t have the slightest clue o" ho3 9a-ly your
heart aches to 9e clai+e-. An- even i" your +an -oes $no3 o" your heart8s -esire: he
'ro9a9ly -oesn8t su""iciently o""er you the -e'th: hu+or: an- 'ersistence necessary to
ten-erly 'enetrate your resistances: un"ol-ing your -ee'est yearning through his love.
Your +an has 'ro9a9ly long ago lost touch 3ith his heart8s -ee'est -esire44as$ hi+ the
-ee'est 'ur'ose o" his li"e an- listen to his ans3er44an- so he certainly -oesn8t $no3 ho3
to stay in touch 3ith your -ee'est heart.
&houl- you stay or shoul- you go> he 9est 3ay to ans3er this ?uestion is to 'ut a ti+e li+it
on su""ering the shallo3ness o" your relationshi'. Are you 3illing to re+ain unclai+e- 9y
your +an "or another ) +onths> I" so: tell your closest 3o+en "rien-s that in si( +onths
they shoul- -eci-e i" you see+ +ore -ee'ly o'ene- 9y your +an8s love: +ore -ee'ly o""ere-
in your -evotional o'enness: +ore -ee'ly ravishe-. You +ay 9e the last 'erson to $no3 i" you
shoul- stay or go. Your nesting instincts an- "ear o" not "in-ing another +an +ay $ee' you
3ith an ina-e?uate +an "ar longer than is healthy "or your heart: ho'ing he 3ill change.
I" your closest 3o+en "rien-s "eel that a"ter si( +onths o" 3aiting: "or instance: it is ti+e
"or you to leave the relationshi': your heart 3ill su""er. ;o +atter ho3 unravishe- you +ay
"eel: your +an 3as a9le to o""er you so+e a+ount o" love. 1is 'enis entere- your 9o-y: his
care entere- your heart: ho3ever shallo3 or unco++itte- his entrance +ay have 9een. Your
+an o'ene- your 9o-y an- heart so+e3hat 3ith his love: an- this o'ening retains his sha'e.
Even a"ter you leave your +an: you 3ill "eel a Fhi+4sha'e- voi-F in your heart an- 9o-y. You
3ill +iss hi+: long "or hi+: ho'e that he calls you an- tells you it 3as all a +ista$e: that he
can change: that he 3ants you 9ac$. Your hi+4sha'e- voi- yearns to 9e "ille-449y hi+.
his sense o" longing "or the +an 3ho 3as a9le to love you +ost -ee'ly so "ar 3ill last until
another +an loves you -ee'er. You 3ill retain the hi+4sha'e- voi- "or the rest o" your li"e:
unless you attract a +an o" -ee'er loving into your li"e. You +ay "eel that you are 3ea$ "or
3anting a +an 3ho 3as clearly una9le to love you as -ee'ly as you 3ante-44a +an 3ho +ay
even have outright re<ecte- or 9etraye- you. You +ay "eel that you are Fsic$F "or 3anting
hi+ so 9a-ly even years a"ter your a9usive or +e-iocre relationshi' has en-e-.
But you are not 3ea$ or sic$. You are a 3o+an 3hose heart naturally retains a voi- sha'e-
9y the +an 3ho 3as a9le to love you +ost -ee'ly so "ar: even i" that 3asn8t -ee' enough to
stay 3ith hi+. he only cure "or your hi+4craving is to attract another +an 3hose love
o'ens you -ee'er than the hi+4sha'e- voi- that re+ains "ro+ a 'revious +an. Eventually: as
your -evotional ca'acity to o""er yoursel" gro3s: you 3ill attract a +an 3ho o'ens you to
!o-8s sha'e through his loving.
hen: your heart 3ill retain a !o-4sha'e- voi- in +o+ents 3hen you have se'arate- yoursel"
"ro+ -ivine love. Your yearning 3ill 9e to "eel in"inity8s clai+ o" your heart: o'ening you
3ithout 9oun-s: "illing you 3ith an a9un-ance o" 'resence an- 'leasure 9eyon- your ca'acity
to 9ear: "orcing you o'en as "ull as all. Your heart 3ill only settle "or love8s total co++an-:
an- you 3ill tolerate only a +an 3ho can o""er you this -ivine an- utter clai+. 1is -ee'
53
'resence 3ill ravish you o'en to in"inity8s 9liss: ta$ing you o'en in the 1e4&he +erger o"
!o-8s t3o49o-ie- e('ression o" love.
23
Three Stage! o& Loving
7hen you see a cute $itten or s+iling 9a9y: you light u' 3ith <oy. 7hen you hear your
"avorite +usic on the ra-io: you +ove 3ith 'leasure. I 3ant you to 9e ha''y: 9ut I also 3ant
your ha''iness to -ee'en. I 3ant our relationshi' to 9e a 3ay "or our heart8s -ee'est
yearning to o'en as love8s "ull o""ering 3ith or 3ithout our sur"ace ha''iness. An- I $no3
this -ee'ening o" love ta$es a co++it+ent to 'ractice o'ening: since so+eti+es 3e 9oth
ten- to close.
o 'ractice o'ening: 3e 9oth +ust "eel the su9tle "luctuations o" our heart8s -e'th o"
yearning. &o+eti+es I8+ ha''y to love you s$in -ee' an- lu(uriate in your 9eauti"ul
"ragrance an- so"tness: as i" you 3ere +y love4$itten. &o+eti+es I 3ant to share +ore
-ee'ly 9y -iscussing our "eelings an- hearing a9out 3here you 3ant to go in your li"e an- our
relationshi'.
But you an- I can also o""er our hearts to each other even -ee'er. 7e can "eel our -ee'est
yearning to 9e seen an- $no3n "or 3ho 3e truly are. he -ivine love that "lo3s through our
-ee'est hearts longs to 3orshi' an- 9e 3orshi''e-. By noticing ho3 -ee'ly 3e are o'ening
our hearts to 3orshi': +o+ent 9y +o+ent: 3e can choose to share our -ee'est yearning
even as 3e en<oy other 'leasures o" li"e.
Your +an can 3orshi' the sha'e o" your 9reasts. 1e can "ocus on your ni''les: $issing you:
ni99ling you: "orgetting all else. But eventually his narro3 "ocus 9eco+es 9oring. You 3ant a
+an to a-ore your 9reasts: 9ut you 3ant +uch +ore than that. Elti+ately: you 3ant a +an
3ho loves your 9reasts 9ut es'ecially loves your heart44an- 9eyon- that: you 3ant a +an 3ho
loves your 9reasts an- heart 9ut 3hose li"e is given to !o-: 3ho is "eeling you an- through
you to the -e'th o" this -ivine +o+ent: not si+'ly li+iting his li"e to the 'leasure o" your
9o-y.
You 3ant a +an 3ho lives his li"e as -ivine 'oetry: 'enetrating you 3ith the -ee'est
e('ression o" his heart. 1e lives as i" every +o+ent 3ere his last: so he al3ays gives his
-ee'est gi"t: to you an- everyone: as i" it 3ere his "inal gi"t: his "ullest o""ering o"
'resence. Even 3hen he caresses an- $isses your 9reasts: you can "eel his love -ee'er than
your "lesh: entering into your heart: an- o'ening even -ee'er than your o3n heart. You can
"eel his love o'ening 9eyon- all "or+: his 'resence o'ening you to in"inity: to -ivine love
3ithout 9oun-s: to !o-.
&tage 9y stage: your -esire to 9e 3orshi''e- -ee'ens. hese stages -evelo' through the
years o" your li"e as your heart8s yearning gro3s -ee'er. You also "luctuate 9et3een these
stages: +o+ent 9y +o+ent.
In a 1st stage +o+ent: you 3ant your 9o-y to 9e a-ore-. F;otice +e: an- +a$e +e "eel
9eauti"ul.F
In a 2n- stage +o+ent: you 3ant to 9e 'hysically attractive: 9ut you also 3ant your o'inions
an- career to 9e value-. FI a+ a success"ul an- intelligent 3o+an. Listen to +e: an- value
3ho I a+ as a 3hole 'erson.F
In a 3r- stage +o+ent: you are rea-y to 9e 3orshi'e- as you are: as the light o" love that
lives as all li"e8s 'o3er. FI a+ light. a$e +e: i" you -are.F
54
You are not <ust a 9o-y to 9e entere- or a +in- to 9e share-. You are the very light o" li"e:
alive as the love that yearns to o'en at the heart o" all 9eings.
You are +ove- 9y a "orce o" love +uch larger than clitoris an- career. Your true 'o3er isn8t
li+ite- 9y your 9o-y or create- 9y your +in-: 9ut "lo3s o'en as the "orce o" love: alive an-
9right as the universe.
Your -ee' heart +ay yearn to 9e seen an- 3orshi'e- as love8s light: yet you +ay settle "or a
+an 3ho +a$es you "eel nee-e- "or your 9o-y or +in-. Although it +ay 9e 'ain"ul to "eel
ho3 you can ignore your heart8s -ee'est yearning: your ca'acity to choose an- ins'ire a
-ee' +an re?uires that you can "eel the -i""erences 9et3een 1st: 2n-: an- 3r- stage
+o+ents o" loving.
In a 1st stage +o+ent: you -egra-e your heart8s -ee'est -esire in or-er to "eel 3ante- an-
nee-e- 9y a +an. You -isregar- your heart8s signals that your +an is o"" the +ar$: that he
is lying to hi+sel" an- to you: 9ecause you are a"rai- to lose hi+. You su''ress yoursel" so
as not to "righten or o""en- your +an: 9ut your energy co+es out in other 3ays: secretly
'unishing hi+ 9ac$ "or not loving you li$e you 3ant. You +ay settle "or inciting your +an8s
a9usive anger: 9ecause at least his angry 'resence is 9etter than no 'resence at all.
You +ay 'raise your +an8s strength so he "eels goo- a9out hi+sel". You +ay give u' your
nee-s to cater to his. Your heart 3ants to 9e seen an- love- so 9a-ly that you 3ill -o <ust
a9out anything in the ho'es o" getting an- $ee'ing your +an8s love. You -on8t trust yoursel"
to ta$e care o" yoursel": so you are -es'erate "or a +an to ta$e care o" you. his is 1st
stage "e+inine nee-iness.
In a 2n- stage +o+ent: you choose to set asi-e your heart8s -ee'est -esire in or-er to
create a sa"e haven o" in-e'en-ence an- sel"4reliance. Even though your heart still yearns
"or a +an8s true love to o'en you to !o-: you 'ut your inti+ate li"e Fon the 9ac$ 9urnerF
3hile you 'rioriti=e achieving your 'ro"essional goals an- ta$ing care o" yoursel".
You +ay +ini+i=e the struggle 3ith your heart8s -ee' -esire to 9e ravishe- in love 9y a +an
9y avoi-ing the strong: 'enetrative 'o3er o" -ee' +asculine 'resenceC either you live alone:
or choose relationshi's 3ith +en 3ho are so con"use- or sa"e that they give you the s'ace
to -o 3hatever you 3ant.
You 3ant enough s'ace in your li"e to e(ercise your o3n +asculine -irection: so you either
re'el truly +asculine +en or choose +en 3hose +asculine love -oesn8t have the clarity:
-e'th: or staying 'o3er to 'enetrate your shells o" resistance an- enter your li"e: 9o-y: an-
heart too -ee'ly.
Even a"ter you have e(ercise- your o3n +asculine -irectionality to achieve your "inancial
goals an- esta9lishe- your li"e the 3ay you 3ant it: you +ay "in- it -i""icult to +eet a goo-
+an. Very li$ely: you are +ore surely -irecte- than +ost o" the +en you +eet. Your
+asculine 'resentation443hich has 9eco+e a ha9it in your 9o-y: voice: an- 9reath44attracts
un-irecte- +en 3ho are nee-y "or your +asculine gui-ance: rather than -ee'ly 'ur'ose-
+en o" 'assionate integrity 3ho 3oul- 9e attracte- to enter your "e+inine 9o-y an- heart
3ith their "ull +asculine co++it+ent: 'resence: an- res'ect.
Your unclai+e- heart continues to 3ait: still hol-ing 9ac$ 9ehin- a +asculine shell o"
-irectionality44alone or in relationshi'44an- you 9egin to 3on-er i" you 3ill ever 9e "ully +et
9y a +an an- lovingly clai+e- at heart. You haven8t "oun-44or allo3e- in44a +an 3ho you
3oul- trust 3ith your heart8s -ee'est yearning.
In a 3r- stage +o+ent: you $no3 that ho3ever success"ul an- sel"4su""icient you +ay 9e:
your heart still yearns to 9e entere- an- ta$en o'en. You long to surren-er all control an-
55
allo3 love to +ove through your 9o-y an- heart: so you can 9e utterly 'ossesse- 9y love.
Your yearning to give yoursel" as love gro3s stronger than your nee- "or a +an to ta$e care
o" you or "or you to ta$e care o" yoursel".
You 3ill only attract an- ins'ire a +an 3ho is as -ee' as you are o""ering your yearning:
right no3. &o it is very i+'ortant "or you to $no3: +o+ent 9y +o+ent: 3hat $in- o" 3o+an
you are 9eing.
As a 1st stage 3o+an: you try to get your lover8s attention 9y giving hi+ love even 3hen he
is not intereste-. You 9eco+e a F-oor+atF 3illing to 'ut u' 3ith his -isinterest 9ecause you
ho'e that 9y giving hi+ love you 3ill: sooner or later: get his love in return. You $no3 that
-ee' -o3n he loves you: he <ust -oesn8t reali=e it right no3: so you 3illingly 'lay the victi+
to his -isinterest as you 3ait an- try to attract hi+. You $no3 that he has the 'otential to
love you: he <ust -oesn8t $no3 ho3.
As a 2n- stage 3o+an: you gro3 tire- o" your lover8s lac$ o" co++it+ent: his inca'acity or
un3illingness to clai+ your heart: so you sto' trying. Your heart closes an- your 9o-y ar+ors
its so"test 'arts "ro+ the 'ain o" 'ossi9le re<ection. You shelter your untouche- heart in
su'er"icial shells o" occu'ationC listening to +usic: 'ursuing a career: cleaning the house:
tal$ing 3ith "rien-s. You learn to create healthy 9oun-aries: cultivate your +asculine
-irectionality: an- trust yoursel" +ore: so you are not nee-y o" a +an8s su''ort. But your
-ee'est heart still yearns.
7ithout a -ee' +an to hel' you stay the course o" love: your 9o-y can 9eco+e chronically
sel"4+asculini=e-. You 'ush yoursel" to3ar- your goals: an- 3hether you "ail or succee-:
your 9o-y re+ains unravishe-: uno'ene-: an- -ry. You can try to e+'hasi=e sel"4love:
-irecting your love 9ac$ onto yoursel" in a curl o" ingro3n 'rotection: 9ut this is no 3ay to
9e clai+e- o'en 9y -ivine love.
As a 3r- stage 3o+an: you learn to o'en your 9oun-aries an- e('ress your heart8s -ee'est
yearning in love8s vulnera9le co++union. You learn to rela( o'en as your heart yearns. You
learn to trust love.
rust love44not a +an or yoursel". ;o 'erson is 3orthy o" total trust. Any +an 3ill: at ti+es:
3aver in his love or "alter in his co++it+ent. An- you 3ill o"ten 3aver in your o3n ca'acity
to love yoursel": as you o"ten have.
*nly love44the love that yearns o'en at the heart o" all 9eings: the -ivine love that lives
o'en as this entire +o+ent44is 3orthy o" total trust. 6ather than -evoting yoursel" to a +an
or to yoursel": you can trust: surren-er: an- 9e live- o'en as love. You can 'ractice this
o'ening as love 3hen you are alone or through t3o49o-ie- -evotional surren-er. I" you
choose t3o49o-ie- 'ractice: then it is i+'ortant to "eel ho3 you +ay 9e using your +an as
an e(cuse to 3ea$en or guar- yoursel".
In the 1st stage: you 3ea$en yoursel" in the ho'e o" getting your +an8s love in return "or
your ac?uiescence. In the 2n- stage: you guar- yoursel" 9y hol-ing your -ee'est love in
chec$: ho'ing to i++uni=e yoursel" against "eeling too +uch 'ain. You can even 9eco+e
nu+9. In the 3r- stage: you give your +an love even 3hile he +ay 9e hurting you 9ecause you
are alive as love: 9ecause to -eny hi+ your love is to -eny o'ening as your heart8s -ee'est
yearning. You o""er yoursel" as the i++ensity o" love you actually are.
.or love8s sa$e44"or !o-8s sa$e: yearning o'en as -ivine love44you o""er your 9o-y o'en as
love8s 'u''et: you o""er yoursel" to 9e live- o'en as love8s "lo3: you o""er your 9reath:
voice: gestures: an- actions as love8s "ully given gi"ts.
56
Your heart +ay "eel 3oun-e-449y your +an8s -isinterest as 3ell as 9y your o3n sense o"
9eing un-esira9le44an- yet you can choose to o'en your heart an- 9o-y as an o""ering. You
can loo$ into your lover8s eyes an- rela( your 9o-y. You can so"ten your 9reath an- o'en
your "eelers out3ar-: actively ra-iating love "ro+ your heart 3hile "eeling his 'ain: his "ear:
his hi--en love.
You +ay 9e so99ing. You +ay 9e screa+ing. You +ay 9e tre+9ling. But you are not closing.
6ather: in s'ite o" the 'ain in your heart an- the stress in your 9o-y: in s'ite o" your +an8s
staunch o''osition to love or your o3n lac$ o" sel"43orth: you 'ractice o'ening. Love is your
-isci'line: an- it is not al3ays easy.
.irst: you love yoursel": even loving your shells an- your closure. hen: ten-er as love: you
'ractice loving 9eyon- yoursel". o counteract your ten-ency "or sel"4enclosure: you o""er
your yearning o'en to your lover. You actively o'en your heart as love8s yearning: 9reathing
+ore -ee'ly: rela(ing your 9o-y through 'ain: resistance: an- nee-iness so your heart can
"eel your lover8s yearning heart co+'letely44eventually 9reathing your heart o'en to "eel
everyone8s yearning.
7ith 'ractice: your +oo-s continue to "lo3: 9ut your love4ten-eri=e- 9o-y lives "ull as a
'er'etually active o""ering: your heart rela(ing o'en to 9e clai+e- 9y the +o+ent8s Ior your
+an8sJ -ee' 'resence: ra-iating your -ee'est gi"ts o" love to all.
Living 3ith your heart close- an- your 9o-y tense attracts a +an o" e?ual "ear"ulness: a +an
un3illing to o""er his 'resence unless you are 'leasing hi+. Living o'en44even 3hile your
heart hurts44attracts a +an o" e?ual 3illingness to o'en an- "eel you in -ee' +utual 3orshi'.
2$
Love ! a Living Art
In the 'ast: I have lain in 9e- 3ith you at night: loo$ing at you: touching you 9ut getting no
res'onse: 3on-ering 3hy you see+e- so -istant. I8+ "eeling goo-: I8+ very attracte- to
you: 9ut you -on8t see+ intereste-.
I8ve no3 co+e to un-erstan- that all -ay your 9o-y is 9eing o'ene- 9y +y loving or close-
9y +y lac$ o" integrity: +o+ent 9y +o+ent. In "act: 9oth o" us 9ring the entire -ay8s
tension or o'enness to 9e- 3ith us. *ur 9o-ies re+e+9er the -rea-"ul 3rec$ or glorious art
that our loving has 9een all -ay.
You an- I are co++itte- to loving each other as -ee'ly as 'ossi9le. 7e are 9oth co++itte-
to 'racticing the ever4-ee'ening art o" love. 1o3ever: our ongoing 'ractice o" love
constantly "luctuates. he o""ering o" our hearts together is -ee'ene- or shallo3e- 9y the
choices 3e +a$e +o+ent 9y +o+ent. I ho'e 3e can laugh together in our a3"ul +o+ents:
learning through our +ista$es: as 3e gro3 +ore s$ill"ul an- s'ontaneously art"ul in our
'ractice o" loving.
I+agine you are in 9e- 3ith your +an 3ho is e+9racing you: $issing you: his eyes +oist 3ith
a""ection.
FI love you:F he says: FI love you so +uch.F 1e 'resses hi+sel" against you: rea-y to enter
you.
You can "eel his love. You can "eel that he really +eans it. But you can8t co+'letely o'en to
hi+.
#ay9e you can8t o'en 9ecause yester-ay he sai- he8- clean the garage 9ut has "orgotten
a9out it an- never carries through 3ith his 'ro+ises. #ay9e you can8t o'en 9ecause 3hile
3atching V earlier he 'atte- you on the 9ac$ in a re'etitive an- +echanical 3ay an- your
57
9o-y carrie- the tension o" his +onotonous an- "lat -e+eanor. #ay9e you can8t o'en
9ecause he $ee's tal$ing a9out changing his career 9ut continues at a <o9 he hates 9ecause
he8s a"rai- to ta$e the ris$ o" living +ore -ee'ly.
he love your +an tries to o""er you in 9e- ta$es 'lace in the "eeling4conte(t o" your entire
relationshi'. I" you are to trust hi+ at night: then the intention o" his integrity +ust 9e
consistent44he +ust carry through 3ith his 'ro+ises an- live the -ee'est li"e he can
throughout the -ay.
Your 9o-y re+e+9ers. Every +o+ent you "eel hi+ losing trac$ o" his co++it+ents: getting
-istracte- in su'er"icial 'ursuits: -eceiving or +olli"ying hi+sel" 3hile continuing in a li"e
that is less than his "ullest gi"t: your 9o-y cringes an- you lose trust. o surren-er o'en in
9e- at night: your heart re?uires his -ee'est o""ering throughout the -ay44<ust as he
re?uires the -ee'est o""ering o" your heart.
7hile love+a$ing: your +an 3ill 9e +ove- to o""er you the sa+e -e'th o" 'resence that
your heart8s yearning has evo$e- an- -e+an-e- all -ay. In 9e-: you 3ill 9e +ove- to o""er
hi+ the sa+e -e'th o" se(ual surren-er that he has co++an-e- o" your heart all -ay 9y his
integrity an- 'resence. he -e'th o" your se(ual +erger at night is 're-is'ose- 9y the
-e'th o" your -evotional o""ering an- his clai+ o" your heart all -ay.
You +ay have your o3n se(ual 9loc$s an- e+otional "ears: 9ut your surren-er also re?uires
his integrity. As a t3o49o-ie- "or+: 9oth o" you +ust 9e o""ere- "ully o'en: all -ay: to each
other an- the 3orl-. I" your -evotion or his -irection is less -ee'ly source- than 'ossi9le:
then your se( 3ill also 9e tethere- to the shallo3s. In 9e-: your 'leasures 3ill 9e li+ite- to
sti+ulation an- release: "un an- ga+es: a clitoral orgas+ an- an e<aculation: rather than
utter love4ravish+ent44consistently44o'en to !o-.
1o3ever: all -ay an- night: 9oth you an- your 'artner "luctuate in ho3 -ee'ly you o""er your
heart. Love is an art that is alive: an- ho3 -ee'ly you 'ractice your heart8s art "luctuates
+o+ent 9y +o+ent.
hroughout each an- every -ay: you have 1st stage +o+ents: 3hen you are hurt or
e(hauste- an- re"use to o'en. #ay9e you thro3 a tantru+: or loc$ yoursel" in your roo+ an-
eat: or shut -o3n in a +oo-: or s3irl in a +ish+ash o" thoughts. You have 2n- stage
+o+ents: 3hen you +erely 3ant to tal$ 3ith your lover a9out ho3 your relationshi' is going
9ut not o'en your heart to love8s -e'th. *r you 3ant to go to the +ovies an- have -inner
3ith another cou'le an- $ee' things 'leasantly social: rather than surren-ering o'en in
vulnera9le 3hole49o-ie- -evotional o""ering.
You also have 3r- stage +o+ents: 3hen you are 3illing to 'ractice o'ening your heart an-
9o-y to receive !o-8s -ee'est clai+: 'erha's through a +an8s true love4-esire "or you. You
are 3illing to learn to surren-er your vulnera9le heart 3i-e o'en.
here is no such thing as a totally F3r- stage 3o+anF or a totally F3r- stage relationshi'.F
Your relationshi' "luctuates through all the stages as you an- your +an o'en an- close
throughout the -ay: so+eti+es connecting 3ith each other -ee'ly: so+eti+es hi-ing 9ehin-
3alls o" se'aration. A loving connection +ay so+eti+es ha''en 9y grace: 9ut +o+ent to
+o+ent you can 'ractice i" you 3ant your art o" loving to -ee'en. Love is 3ho you are in
truth: 9ut o'ening as love can also 9e 'ractice- to counteract the accu+ulate- ha9its o"
contraction that +ay other3ise 'revent the truth o" your -ee'est love "ro+ 9eing "ully
o""ere-.
58
Although the -e'th o" your love8s e('ression +ay vary: your co++it+ent an- 'ractice can
re+ain singularly -evote-. hat is: you can 'ractice the art o" 3r- stage relationshi' an-
you can 'ractice the art o" 9eing a 3r- stage 3o+an: even though 1st an- 2n- stage
+o+ents also co+e an- go all -ay an- night.
You can art"ully recogni=e an- o'en -ee'er than the co+ing an- going o" 1st an- 2n- stage
+o+ents. Your +an +ay have "orgotten a 'ro+ise he +a-e: an- so you shut -o3n in res'onse
to his lac$ o" carry4through. Instea- o" 3hining or +a$ing e(cuses: your +an can a-+it his
+ista$e: an- 3ith hu+or: 'anache: an- -irectness: si+'ly ta$e care o" 9usiness an- "ollo3
through 3ith his 'ro+ise. his is a +an you can trust. 1e si+'ly ac$no3le-ges his "ailure:
-usts hi+sel" o"": an- carries on: having learne- "ro+ his +ista$es. 1e continues to gro3:
learning ho3 to 9e +ore consistent in his carry4through 3hile -ee'ening his living art o"
love.
he truth is: you are not hurt i" your +an is occasionally "orget"ul. You are hurt i" your +an
consistently lies an- lac$s integrity44"orgetting the -e'th o" his love: 3ith-ra3ing "ro+ you:
an- colla'sing "ro+ in"inity to a sul$44in the +i-st o" inevita9le "ailures an- successes.
Li$e3ise: you +ay occasionally s3irl in the currents o" your e+otions an- say so+ething
untrue an- hurt"ul to your +an. Instea- o" colla'sing in +oo-y closure an- "ortressing your
heart in -e"ense: you can choose to o'en your heart an- o""er your -ee'est yearning. You
can o'en an- 'ractice 3r- stage love4gi"ting even 3hen your ha9its 3ant to close you.
As i" you 3ere a +usician 'racticing your instru+ent over an- over so you can 'lay art"ully:
you can 'ractice -ee'ening love. You can 'ractice love8s art 9y loo$ing into your lover8s eyes
a little -ee'er: "eeling an- 9reathing your lover8s heart a little -ee'er: rela(ing your 9o-y
o'en to "lo3 3ith 'leasure a little -ee'er: all the 3hile o""ering your "e+inine "or+ an-
yearning as gi"ts o" love. Your co++it+ent to the 3r- stage art o" -evotional 'ractice is
3hat attracts an- ins'ires a 3r- stage +an o" -ee' integrity.
7oul- you 're"er to live less loving than is true o" your -ee'est heart> 1o3 -ee'ly are you
3illing to love yoursel": your +an: an- the 3orl-> 1o3 -evote- are you to surren-ering o'en:
right no3: "eeling an- 9reathing love: 'racticing to live as love "ro+ your heart so your gi"ts
can 9e given: +ost art"ully: to everyone>
2)
Sho5ing Your 3eart8! Light in 6u9lic
Be"ore you an- I learne- to love so -ee'ly: so+eti+es you 3oul- co+e ho+e "ro+ 3or$ an-
see+ 'articularly tense. 7hen I 3on-ere- 3hy: you 3oul- tell +e that all -ay you ha- "elt
the F'sychic se(ual gra9sF o" +en: an- so you ha- to ar+or yoursel". Your 9o-y ha- to
shiel- itsel": an- I 3as "eeling the resi-ue o" tension in your +uscles an- the 'rotective
closure aroun- your heart.
;o3 that you an- I can o'en each other so "ully in our loving: you no longer su""er in the
sa+e 3ay. You $no3 ho3 to $ee' your heart o'en: your 9o-y rela(e-: an- your energy
unavaila9le "or e('loitation at 3or$ an- in 'u9lic. &o+e o" your "rien-s still engage in
Fsu9tle se(F or "lirting: an- you un-erstan- their nee-. hey 3ant to e(change a little
se(ual energy 3ith others: 9ut not go all the 3ay. &o they 'ractice hal"3ay se(ual
co++ingling.
hrough our "ull 'ractice o" loving o'en to !o-: you an- I have no3 gro3n 9eyon- the nee-
to in-ulge in the ran-o+ se(ual 9arrage that ta$es 'lace 9et3een strangers an- even
59
"rien-s. You -on8t nee- to ar+or yoursel" against the Fattac$F o" +en8s attention: 9ecause
you are so "ull o" love8s energy you scare the+ a3ay or evo$e their res'ect. #ost o" your
-ay: at 3or$ an- in 'u9lic: you have learne- ho3 to $ee' your heart8s yearning o'en to !o-
an- your 9o-y8s energy "lo3ing "ull.
;o3: 3hen you an- I co+e together: 3e +ay ta$e a "e3 +o+ents to rela( into our -ee'est
hearts an- 'ractice "eeling into each other8s -ee'est yearning: 9ut no ar+oring 'revents
our connection. A"ter a "e3 +o+ents o" 9reathing together: loo$ing into each other8s eyes:
an- "eeling each other8s hearts: our 9o-ies are "ree to +erge as -ee'ly as 3e -esire.
;either o" us carries the 'rotective ar+oring that 3e +aintaine- 9e"ore learning to
9reathe an- "eel the hearts o" everyone: o""ering our entire lives "ro+ the o'enness o" our
-ee'est yearning: "or the sa$e o" all 9eings.
.or no3: i+agine you are in a 3r- stage co++itte- relationshi' 3ith a +anG the sa+e
'rinci'les a''ly 3hether you are in a relationshi' or not. You $no3 your "e+inine energy is
very 'o3er"ulG you coul- attract a +an to -o anything: i" you 3ante- to. &o: as a 3r- stage
3o+an: you 3iel- this 'o3er "ro+ your -ee'est heart: "or the sa$e o" all 9eings.
.or instance: 3hen you -ress an- 'ut on +a$e4u' an- <e3elry 9e"ore going to 3or$: you
-ress $no3ing that you are a-orning your "e+inine ra-iance: <oyously +agni"ying the gi"t o"
your love8s light449ut also you "eel the e""ect you 3ill have on others. You $no3 yoursel" as
a gi"t o" love8s light: an irresisti9le "orce o" attraction. Your very "or+: the "e+inine sha'e
o" your 9o-y: the 3ay you +ove an- s'ea$: can a""ect +en so strongly they can "antasi=e
a9out you "or -ays.
Is this 3hat you 3ant> .eel 3hat 3oul- 9e 9est "or others in every situation: at ho+e: at a
'arty: or at 3or$. You 'ro9a9ly en<oy a-orning your ra-iance. But "eeling 9eyon- your o3n
en<oy+ent: 3ho+ 3oul- it serve i" you 3ere to attract so+eone8s se(ual attention: an- 3hen
is it a''ro'riate>
7hen your heart is "ully clai+e- 9y -ivine love: you have no 'ersonal nee-iness to 9e seen.
Your 9o-y is o'en an- "lo3ing: alive 3ith se(ual energy: ra-iant 3ith -elight: an-
res'len-ent 3ith the shine o" love44you -on8t 3ant to -esecrate love8s "ullness in the
oin$ing 9arrage o" +en8s 'sychic gra99ing an- gro'ing. At 3or$: "or instance: you can
circulate your energy "ully in your 9o-y: 9ut you $no3 it 3oul- serve no9o-y to se(ually hoo$
+en8s attention.
Your energy re+ains "ull at 3or$: an- yet Fhoo$less.F En-er your clothes: your genitals
re+ain rela(e- an- "lushe- 3ith energy: your 9reasts still 'ulsing 3ith your +an8s 3orshi'.
Your heart continues "eeling out3ar-: "eeling all hearts an- 9reathing your +an: your
chil-ren: your colleagues at 3or$449reathing everyone8s heart.
Your 9o-y is +ove- 9y the grace o" love8s "lo3: 3ith no nee- to 9e seen "or your o3n sa$e:
no nee- to hoo$ +en8s attention: an- yet no nee- to su''ress the 'o3er o" your attractive
"orce. You si+'ly carry on 3ith your tas$s at han- an- continue 9reathing: "eeling: an-
o'ening as love8s light: 3ithout nee-ing +en to notice you.
At so+e 'oint -uring your 3or$-ay: you notice that you have 9eco+e stresse-. Your hea- is
tight: your <a3 tense: your 9reath shallo3. You have s'ent the -ay +a$ing +a<or -ecisions
"or your 9usiness: lea-ing +eetings: an- catching u' on your to4-o list. &o+e3here along the
line: you lost connection 3ith your heart. You 9egan o'erating on auto+atic 'ilot as a
+asculine +achine o" 'ur'ose. You acco+'lishe- a lot: 9ut your 9o-y an- heart no3 "eel
tight an- 9loc$e-.
60
&o you go to a near9y 'ar$ or se?uester yoursel" in your o""ice. 5erha's all you have
availa9le to you is a stall in the 3o+en8s rest roo+. 7herever you can 9e alone an- unseen:
you stan- still "or a +o+ent an- rela(. You i+agine your lover8s 9elly an- chest 'resse-
against the "ront o" your 9o-y. You 9reathe +ore "ully: inhaling in an- e(haling out o" your
heart: your 9elly: your genitals: your legs: an- even your toes.
You 9egin +oving: s3aying your hi's: raising your ar+s: an- allo3ing love8s energy to "lo3
+ore "ully through your 9o-y. You s'en- a "e3 +inutes o'ening yoursel" to 9e "ille- 9y the
+o+ent8s 'resence: o""ering yoursel" to 9e clai+e- an- ta$en o'en 9y the "ullness o" no38s
intensity. You -ance o'en an- alive: intentionally inhaling4receiving an- e(haling4giving love
through every 9reath: in an- out o" every cell o" your 9o-y 3hile "eeling all hearts. Your
+asculine e-ges 9egin to +elt as you lovingly rela( an- roun- out: a9un-antly "lo3ing 3ith
"e+inine aliveness an- <uice.
Every "e3 hours -uring the 3or$-ay you -o a si+ilar e(ercise. &o+eti+es you o'en your
heart an- 9o-y +ore su9tly -uring a +eeting or 3hile sitting in "ront o" the co+'uter. You
$no3 that ho3ever i+'ortant your 9usiness is: i" you lose touch 3ith your heart8s -ee'est
yearning an- your 9o-y8s o'enness: then you are training your 9o-y to 9e un"eeling an-
tense. You are -isconnecting "ro+ 3hat is +ost i+'ortant to youC love.
You $no3 that you are as goo- as or 9etter than any +an at getting things -one. You 3ant to
9e success"ul an- -on8t hesitate to achieve your goals 3ith -isci'line an- "erocity. But you
-o not re-uce yoursel" to a "unctional +achine o" achieve+ent.
You $no3 that success is only 3orth achieving i" love also "lo3s "ully in your heart: your
9o-y: an- your li"e. &o: <ust as you su''ort your +an to stay connecte- 3ith his -e'th: you
-o 3hatever 'ractices re4connect you 3ith your -ee' heart8s yearning an- energetic "lo3
-uring an other3ise stress"ul 3or$-ay. *ver ti+e: you actually learn to 9reathe all 9eings in
an- out o" your heart an- -ance love through your entire 9o-y -uring your -ay at 3or$.
his 'rocess can ta$e years to cultivate art"ully: 9ut soon you notice other 'eo'le treating
you -i""erently. #en an- 3o+en are very attracte- to your o'enness an- ra-iance: 9ut also
very res'ect"ul o" your -e'th. As you value your o3n -ee'est heart8s yearning an- 9reathe
the hearts o" all others: you attract honor: res'ect: an- even 3orshi' "ro+ everyone. hey
can "eel the in-estructi9le 'o3er o" your loving an- the vulnera9le o'enness o" your heart.
Your 9o-y is alive 3ith li"e an- <uicy 3ith se(. Yet: you have no 'ersonal nee-iness to hoo$
attention "ro+ ran-o+ +en44you are "ully 3orshi''e- in se( an- love 9y your chosen +an at
ho+e: or clai+e- 9y -ivine love in your 'ractice alone.
I" +en at 3or$ "lirt 3ith you: you have no nee- to "lirt 9ac$. You say hello an- s+ile: 9ut you
-on8t hoo$ into their energy. Your eye contact is short an- s3eet. You $no3 that to s'en-
e(cessive ti+e loo$ing into their eyes or hugging the+ hello 3oul- 9e a co+'ro+ise o" your
heart8s -e'th an- your 9o-y8s "ullness.
Even alone in the rest roo+ stall or sitting at your -es$: you are a9le to o'en: receive: an-
9e clai+e- so "ully 9y the +o+ent8s -ivine 'resence that you al+ost al3ays "eel ravishe-G
the +en at 3or$ can 9egin to see+ li$e car-9oar- ro9ots o" se(ual nee- in co+'arison to
the -e'th your heart re?uires. Your -ee' heart connects an- 9reathes 3ith their -ee'
heart: 9ut you have no nee- to entangle se(ual energies or "lirt.
You -eci-e to +eet so+e o" your close 3o+en "rien-s "or lunch. As you 3al$ into the
restaurant you are a3are o" eyes turning to3ar- you. You 9reathe "ully: inhaling an-
e(haling the hearts o" everyone in the restaurant. You "eel their hearts: yet you -o not
61
energetically lu(uriate in their attention. Your heart is o'en: your 9o-y rela(e-: 9ut your
energy is not availa9le "or e('loitation.
You un-erstan- that +en constantly crave "e+inine energy: es'ecially in sa"e "or+s that
-on8t -e+an- -e'th. A +an 3ill 'ay to sit anony+ously in a stri' <oint an- 3atch 3o+en
-ance. 1e is heale- an- enlivene- 9y the li9erally o""ere- sho3 o" "e+inine 'leasure an-
un9ri-le- energy44es'ecially i" he lac$s the sho3 o" "e+inine 'leasure in his inti+ate li"e:
either 9ecause he is single or his 3o+an hol-s 9ac$ her se(ual -evotion.
As you 3al$ "ro+ the restaurant -oor to your seat: you can "eel various +en at -i""erent
stages 3atching you. 1st stage +en are +ost nu+erous: an- they regar- you as a 'iece o"
3o+an4+eat to go99le: a 'otential se(ual "antasy. heir 3orshi' o" you is li+ite- to their
lust "or your 9o-y. 2n- stage +en chec$ you out not only "or your loo$s 9ut also "or your
vi9e. hey 3ant a certain -egree o" so'histication: elegance: an- in-e'en-ence. hey also
lust "or a 3o+an8s 9o-y: 9ut they "in- a 3o+an8s +in- e?ually: i" not +ore: alluring. hey
3orshi' you as a 3hole 'erson an- chec$ you out "or the 'ossi9ility o" 9eing their F'artner.F
5erha's there are also a "e3 3r- stage +en in the restaurant. Li$e all +en: they 3orshi' the
"e+inine: so they loo$ at you too. hey see your sha'ely "or+ an- "eel se(ual
attractiveness: <ust li$e 1st stage +en. hey a''reciate your elegance an- intelligent
-is'osition: <ust li$e 2n- stage +en. But they also "eel through your 9o-y an- +in- to your
heart8s -e'th. hey are turne- on +ost "ully 9y a heart o" -evotional -e'th surren-ere- to
love.
A 3r- stage +an 3orshi's the -e'th o" your -evotional yearning an- the "ullness o" your
"e+inine love4light. Your heart8s o'enness an- ra-iance +ay shine through your 9o-y: the
3ay you +ove: the 3ay you are -resse-: an- the elo?uence o" your voice. But a great loo$ing
3o+an 3ho is s+art -oes not "ool a 3r- stage +an. 1e $no3s -eath. 1is consciousness "eels
through the sur"ace o" a''earances. 1e $no3s that all things: inclu-ing your 9o-y an- +in-:
are transient: 'assing: an- 9rie". his entire 3orl- is al3ays changing: an- so he is roote- in
-ee' consciousness: that 3hich never changes.
.ro+ this 'lace o" eternal -e'th: he "eels you. 1e can "eel i" you are nee-y o" +en8s
attention. I" you are 'laying ga+es. I" you are acting in-e'en-ent on the outsi-e 9ut "ull o"
lonely "ear in your heart. 1is 9o-y +ay en<oy loo$ing at yours an- his +in- +ay a''reciate
your intelligence: 9ut that is not enough to +ove his heart in 3orshi'. 1is heart: his -e'th:
his consciousness: 3orshi's "e+inine -evotional o'enness44a 3o+an 3ho loves to 9e clai+e-
9y !o-8s ravish+ent: a 3o+an con"i-ent in her light8s attractiveness: a 3o+an 3ho o""ers
hersel" as a ra-iant 9lessing through 3hich consciousness can 3orshi' an- 9e 3orshi''e-.
A 3r- stage +an "eels 3hether your heart is 3orshi''ing consciousness443hich is his
heart8s -e'th44or 3hether you are -istracte- in "oo-: tal$: an- a''earance. 1is heart44his
consciousness449o3s in 3orshi' o" your heart8s -ee' yearning an- utter trust o" love8s
-e'th. *ther3ise: i" he -oesn8t "eel your heart8s -evotional -is'osition: he returns to his
lunch: 'erha's enlivene- 9y your 'hysical an- intellectual char+s: 9ut not +ove- to 3orshi'
your -e'th or to clai+ your heart an- inha9it your li"e44i" you 9oth ha''ene- to 9e availa9le
to an inti+ate relationshi'.
You arrive at your ta9le: "ully a3are that you have 9een ins'ecte- 9y every 1st: 2n-: an- 3r-
stage +an: 3ho luste- "or: a''reciate-: or 3orshi''e- you as a -ivine a''earance o"
"e+inine love4ra-iance: -e'en-ing on their -e'th an- yours. An- so have the 3o+en in the
restaurant.
62
Every 3o+an is chec$ing out every other 3o+an: gauging hersel" relative to the co+'etition.
1st stage 3o+en co+'are 9o-y sha'e an- youth. 2n- stage 3o+en co+'are success:
in-e'en-ence: an- intelligence. 3r- stage 3o+en recogni=e an- 3orshi' all 3o+en as hu+an
"or+s o" the "e+inine -ivine: <ust as 3r- stage +en -o. hey "eel the -e'th o" your heart8s
ra-iance: or its lac$.
&o: 3hile young 1st stage 3o+en -on8t "in- your ol-er 9o-y too +uch o" a threat: an- 2n-
stage 3o+en atte+'t to 'osition you in their 3orth4$no3ing categories: 3r- stage 3o+en
"eel ho3 "ully your te+'orary "or+ is an e('ression o" -ee' love an- light. Are your 9o-y
an- +in- trans'arent to your heart8s ra-iance an- -evotional yearning: sho3ering the roo+
3ith your gi"ts o" 9lessing> *r are you a"rai-: sel"4conscious: or so 3oun-e- an- con"use-
that you have lost touch to so+e -egree 3ith your o3n heart8s -ee'est -esire an- gi"ts>
3r- stage 3o+en +ove: "eel: an- 9reathe o'en as every 9eing8s heart44an- so a 3r- stage
3o+an can easily "eel your heart8s o'enness or closure. Your 9reasts +ay 9e +ore or less
'er$y an- your career +ore or less success"ul: 9ut a 3r- stage 3o+an can "eel 3hether or
not your heart is clai+e- 9y love an- o""ere- as your -ee'est gi"t to all 9eings.
&o as you sit -o3n 3ith your 3o+en "rien-s: each "eels you -e'en-ing on 3hether she is in a
1st: 2n-: or 3r- stage +o+ent. As you rela( in your seat: you "eel each o" your "rien-s8
hearts. You "eel their su""ering an- their love. You 9reathe your "rien-s8 'ain an- <oy in an-
out o" your heart: 'er+ea9le to their yearning an- their agony. You rela( your 9o-y o'en
an- o""er your "rien-s your love4energy through touching the+: laughing 3ith the+:
s'ea$ing 3ith the+.
Your voice an- 3or-s are a song "or o'ening their hearts. Your +ove+ents are a -ance "or
9ringing light into their lives. Your laughter is a re<oicing in co++union 3ith the 3o+en you
love. he 1st stage 'art o" you +ight notice a "rien-8s ne3 -ia+on- engage+ent ring an-
"eel <ealous. he 2n- stage 'art o" you +ight "eel envious o" her career ta$ing o"" 9ecause
o" the ne3 9oo$ she recently 'u9lishe- an- the 9ig ranch she 'urchase-. But the 3r- stage
'art o" you44your -ee' heart44never loses touch 3ith her -ee' heart.
Your <ealousy co+es an- goes44you notice the cute 3aiter8s ass an- his 9eauti"ul han-s:
too44an- still: your heart "eels into everyone8s heart: 9reathing in an- receiving their love
an- their su""ering: o""ering the+ your heart8s 3orshi' o" their -e'th: 3ithout entangling
the+ in your envy or lust. You actively 'ractice giving an- receiving love "ro+ your heart8s
-e'th o" o'enness: even though lesser an- +ore su'er"icial as'ects o" your 9o-y an- +in-
are also vying "or your attention an- e('ression.
I" you 3ere single an- availa9le "or a relationshi': the 3r- stage +en in the restaurant
3oul- notice your -e'th an- strength o" heart. Co+'are- to the hurrie-: stresse-: an- sel"4
3orth4o9sesse- -e+eanor o" +ost 3o+en: the con"i-ence o" your vulnera9le an- yearning
heart sho3s through the o'enness o" your 9o-y: eyes: an- s+ile. An- so -oes your unta+e-:
un-o+esticate-: una"rai- energy.
A 3r- stage +an 3oul- 9e a9le to "eel that you are not a"rai- to -estroy that 3hich is less
than love. I" you 3ere single: your eyes +ight say: FI8+ availa9le.F Your heart4-is'osition
+ight say: FI yearn to 9e 3orshi''e- an- to give +ysel" in -evotion.F But your energy also
says: FAn- -on8t even try unless you are living true to your heart8s -ee'est 'ur'ose:
o""ering your heart8s -ee'est integrity: an- you are "earless enough to stay 'resent 3ith
+e44to ravish +e44even 3hen I a+ a 3il- slut or a cra=e- "ien-ess. a$e +e: i" you -are. I"
you give +e less than your true heart: I8ll $ill you.F
63
A 3r- stage +an 3oul- "eel your -e+an- "or his -e'th o" 'resence even 3hile sitting in the
restaurant "ro+ a -istance: 3ithout tal$ing 3ith you or touching you. 1e 3oul- "eel your
heart8s o'enness o""ere- through your 9reath: voice: an- +otion: an- he 3oul- "eel your
rea-iness to cho' o"" his +e-iocre hea- shoul- his consciousness re+ain shallo3. 1e can
"eel you this 3ay 9ecause you are o""ering -evotion or cho''ing o"" his hea- right no3: in
the restaurant: si+'ly through a +o+entary glance an- e(change o" 9rie" eye contact.
1e 3oul- also "eel i" you 3ere not single. In relationshi': your -is'osition 3oul- 9e one o"
unavaila9ility to ran-o+ e(changes o" se(ual energy. Your heart is alrea-y clai+e- 9y your
+an8s -ee' 3orshi': an- a 3r- stage +an in the restaurant 3oul- honor your heart8s
co++it+ent to your chosen +an. 1e +ay internally 9o3 in recognition o" your heart8s -ee'
o""ering44he +ay 9e silently a3e- 9y the 9lessing 'o3er o" your ra-iant "or+449ut he 3ill
$ee' his -istance in res'ect. At heart: you an- he are 9reathing as one44you an- everyone
are 9reathing one at heart44an- so his 1st an- 2n- stage -esires o'en in trans'arency to the
one heart o" love that 9reathes as all 9eings.
During lunch: you are 9o+9ar-e- 3ith various 1st an- 2n- stage 'ulls: hoo$s: an- <a9s. A
"rien- critici=es you: an- another co+'lains that you hurt her last 3ee$. A slea=y +an 3al$s
to your ta9le an- tries to 'ic$ you u'. he hun$y 3aiter still entices you. Your "oo- a9sor9s
you: an- you reali=e that your heart8s love has 9een shallo3e- to the -essert +elting in your
+outh. hrough all these +o+ents: you -o your 9est to 'ractice o'ening your heart to "eel
an- 9reathe everyone: rela(ing your 9o-y o'en an- o""ering your -ee'est heart through
your entire 9eing as a 9lessing o" love8s light to your "rien-s an- to all.
Your 'ractice o" heart4-e'th: love4o""ering: an- e(?uisitely res'onsive energy is 3hat
attracts a -ee' +an an- ins'ires all 9eings to o'en in the trust o" love.
2,
Choo!ing A9u!e an0 Re&u!ing Love
I can love +ysel": love you: an- o""er +y -ee'est love to everyone44or I can hol- 9ac$. his
is +y choice. An- this sa+e choice is yours: -ear lover.
You an- I have 'ractice- the art o" loving together. 7e have gone to teachers an- ta$en
3or$sho's to hel' us o'en an- love. 7e have rea- 9oo$s a9out ho3 to o'en our hearts an-
a3a$en to the -ivine that lives us. You an- I 9oth $no3 3hat to -o an- ho3 to o'en so 3e
can o""er the gi"ts that "lo3 "ro+ our -ee'est heart. he only ?uestion is: 3ill 3e>
I+agine you ha- a "rien- 3ho 3as in a 1st stage relationshi'C 1er +an controls her:
-i+inishes her: 'erha's even 9eats her. But then they +a$e love: he a'ologi=es: an- they
connect in -ee' inti+acy. A "e3 -ays44or hours44later: he a9uses her again: only to 9e
"ollo3e- 9y tear"ul 'erio-s o" +a$ing u': contrition: an- then 'assionate love+a$ing.
&he co+es to you "or a-vice. o you: it is o9viousC she shoul- leave her a9usive +an. &he:
ho3ever: thin$s that is too -rastic. &he "eels her +an +ight 9e a9le to change. hat he
really 3ants to change: he <ust can8t hel' hi+sel". 1e is 3illing to see a thera'ist. 1e really
loves her. &he $no3s it.
&he tells you ho3 goo- it "eels 3hen they +a$e love: ho3 'assionately he ta$es her. You
un-erstan- 3hat she says: an- +ay crave a 'assionate +an yoursel": 9ut you can8t
un-erstan- 3hy she 3oul- tolerate his a9use. You try to hel' her un-erstan- that she coul-
64
9e 3ith a +an 3ho 3oul- o""er her 'assionate love 3ithout the a9use. &he $no3s that8s
'ossi9le: 9ut the voi- in her heart is 9eing "ille- 9y her a9usive +an: an- she -oesn8t trust
that another +an coul- love her so -ee'ly.
1er choice is to 9e an active victi+ o" his a9use: o""ering hersel" to hi+ to 9e 'u++ele-
an- then love-: in cycles. his is her choice. It is not your choice.
Your choice is to 3ait "or a goo- +an. You are +ore co+"orta9le in the 2n- stage: ta$ing
care o" yoursel" 3hile your career 'rogresses: your "rien-s gro3: an- your li"e i+'roves.
5erha's you have a +an in your li"e: 9ut you $no3 that a -ee'er inti+acy is 'ossi9le. *r:
'erha's you are 3aiting +an4less: -ating no3 an- then: having lunch 3ith +en "rien-s: 9ut
nothing serious.
You are 'ro9a9ly not a3are that: li$e your "rien-: you are choosing to 9e a victi+ o" a9use.
his +istreat+ent is not "ro+ a +an: 9ut "ro+ yoursel". You are actively closing: 'rotecting
your heart "ro+ love: shutting -o3n so your 9o-y an- heart -on8t ache so o'enly. You +ay
9e -a+aging yoursel" as +uch as any +an coul- -a+age you.
Every +o+ent that you 9reathe +ore shallo3ly than you 3oul- 3hile you 3ere -ee'ly +a$ing
love: you are actively training your 9o-y to "eel less: your heart to o'en less: your love to
"lo3 less. You -on8t nee- a +an8s raise- "ist to -i+inish youG you are -i+inishing yoursel".
You are choosing to stay in a relationshi' 3ith yoursel" that -i+inishes you: <ust as your 1st
stage "rien- is choosing to stay 3ith a +an in such a relationshi'.
A +an8s threat an- your lac$ o" trust create the sa+e e""ect in youC Your 9o-y tenses: your
9reath 9eco+es shallo3: your +uscles contract: your heart cringes: an- you 9eco+e nu+9.
You +ay cry: 3on-ering i" it 3ill ever en-: i" love 3ill ever "inally e+9race you an- enter
you> 7ill you ever 9e a9le to trust love: or 3ill you al3ays live in -ou9t an- "ear> Your
"eelings can 9eco+e so 3alle-4o"" you aren8t even consciously a3are o" the+ any +ore.
A +an8s a9use or your o3n sel"4a9use can 9eco+e so "a+iliar it "eels nor+al. You can
9eco+e so use- to living a tense an- contracte- li"e that you no longer "eel you are actively
choosing to tense an- contract. Your choice has 9eco+e ha9it. You -ou9t there is really an
o'tion. You are a"rai- to ris$ o'ening larger than your tense stance o" sel"4'rotective
control: <ust li$e your "rien- is a"rai- to leave the con"ines o" her +an8s control.
You have +erely shi"te- your +istrust "ro+ e(ternal to internal -ou9t. You -ou9t love: so
you 9u""er your heart an- har-en your 9o-y. You can 9eco+e a"rai- to leave the "a+iliar
li"estyle44an- tension44that continually a9uses your heart. You8ve gro3n use- to so+e
su""ering: an- you truly love your 3ell a''ointe- ho+e: your "rien-s: your cat: your gar-en44
<ust li$e your girl"rien- love8s her +an8s 'assion. Yet: 9oth o" you are choosing to 'lay the
victi+ to less love than you $no3: -ee' -o3n: you -eserve.
onight you +ay "eel "ine. You ha- a great evening -ancing 3ith your "rien-s: en<oying a "ine
-inner: seeing a goo- +ovie. o+orro3 you +ay "eel -es'erate: alone: ugly: 3orthless: una9le
to get out o" 9e-. Your cycles o" e+otional sel"4a9use rese+9le your girl"rien-8s cycles 3ith
her lover: 9eing 9attere- an- +a$ing u': 3anting to leave an- 3anting to stay44in any case:
un3illing to o'en 9eyon- the ho+e o" "a+iliarity you have create-: ho3ever ina-e?uate the
loving is.
Entil you can "eel the o'enness 9eyon- your -ra+a44he loves +e: he loves +e notG I8+ "ine
9y +ysel": 9ut I long "or a goo- +an44your heart 3ill re+ain tangle- u' in a9use. You 3ill
ha9itually choose your 1st stage -e'en-ence relationshi' or your 2n- stage se'arative
in-e'en-ence: until your yearning "or love 9rea$s your heart o'en 9eyon- the -ra+a o"
love8s co+ing an- going.
65
You can continue to 'rovi-e su''ort "or your girl"rien- to leave her a9usive +an: 9ut she
3on8t leave until she is rea-y to stan- on her o3n: a3ay "ro+ the unen-ing -ra+a o" 9eing
a9use- an- 'assionately love-. Li$e3ise: no9o-y can +a$e you gro3 9eyon- your heart4
'rotecte- in-e'en-ence until you are rea-y to trust love an- yearn o'en 3ithout 9eco+ing
entangle- in the unen-ing -ra+a o" aloneness an- 'ossi9le relationshi'.
Are you rea-y an- 3illing to live -evotionally o'en44"eeling an- loving the layers o" -ee' hurt
an- 'ain as they 'eel a3ay "ro+ your heart44an- o""er your -ee'est yearning even 3hile a
+an8s love an- your sel"4love co+e an- go>
At heart: 9eneath your ha9itually clenche- shells: you are love. You can choose to surren-er
o'en as your heart8s -ee'est yearning. You can 9reathe: s'ea$: +ove: an- live as love8s
yearning o'enness. But you +ay re"use to rela( o'en 9ecause you are a"rai- to "eel the
i++ense 'ain still a9i-ing in your vulnera9le heart. Hust as a "inancial or 'olitical challenge
can give your +an so+ething to -o 3ith his li"e on the sur"ace: an insu""iciently loving
relationshi' or +istrust o" +en +ay give you a -ra+a to <usti"y your re"usal to o'en as your
-ee'est heart8s yearning.
1o3 -ra+atic -o you 're"er the story o" your re"usal> Do you re?uire a +an to a9use an-
neglect you> *r have you gro3n 9eyon- that nee-: so you are ?uite a9le to a9use an- neglect
your o3n heart8s -ee'est yearning> I" you are not o'ening as love8s "ullest yearning right
no3: then you are re"using449ecause you 3ant to. You can 9la+e your +an or his lac$G you can
9la+e yoursel" or your lac$. But right no3: you have a choiceC Are you closing in tension or
o'ening as your heart8s -ee'est yearning: 9reathing: "eeling: an- o'ening as the love at the
heart o" all 9eings>
2/
7anting to Be O*ene0
I love "eeling your love. But also: I love "eeling you o'en to +y love.
7e have 'ractice- the art o" loving consistently. ;o3 that our hearts are
connecte- in love so -ee'ly: I en<oy "eeling the 'lay o" your shyness an- coy
resistance. 7hile you 'lay"ully re"use +e or 'ush +e a3ay: I can "eel the certainty
o" love s+iling -ee' in your heart. You $no3 that I 3ill co+e through your closure to
clai+ your heart 3i-e o'en. I en<oy "eeling your resistance 3hile I ravish you o'en44
3e 9oth $no3 you are alrea-y +ine.
In the +i-st o" li"e: you can easily "orget your heart8s -ee'est -esire. I" you have a
"e+inine se(ual essence: then your -ee'est -esire is to "ully o'en: receiving love8s
ravish+ent an- o""ering your heart in -evotion44to !o-: 9ut +ost o"ten: through a +an.
Your heart 'ro9a9ly 're"ers the t3o49o-ie- "or+ o" -evotion to the one49o-ie- "or+. You
'ro9a9ly 3oul- rather 9e ta$en o'en to !o- 9y a +an8s love: "ull o" -ee' 'assion an-
integrity: than ta$e yoursel" o'en alone in a roo+.
&o: your -ee'est -esire is not only to o'en: 9ut to 9e o'ene-. hat is: your 'leasure is not
only to "eel yoursel" 3i-e o'en: 9ut to "eel your resistances 3elco+e- an- inha9ite- 9y your
+an: 'enetrate- 9y his love: an- surren-ere- o'en as he enters your heart 3ith the ten-er
"orce o" his love. hrough your "ighting: tussling: an- re"using: you 3ant to en<oy the
'leasure o" your +an staying 3ith you: entering you 3ith love: hu+or: an- 'ersistence: an-
o'ening you to !o-.
66
You 3ant to "eel an- trust your +an8s a9ility to o'en you: an- the only 3ay you can "eel this
is 9y re"using: closing: an- resisting long enough to "eel his ca'acity to 'ersist in his loving.
1is ca'acity to 'ersist in loving turns you on44not +erely the "act that he loves you. You
3ant to "eel hi+ loving you 3hen you are 9eing a total 9itch: a screa+ing 9anshee: or a
close- -o3n 9all o" F;o.F You 3ant to "eel hi+ o'en you to FYes.F
You cannot hel' 9ut test his love. You +ay say: FLeave +e alone:F in or-er to "eel hi+ stay
3ith you in the "ace o" your re"usal. You +ay critici=e his 3ea$nesses in or-er to "eel hi+
not colla'se: 9ut stay hu+orously 'resent in the "ace o" truth. his is 3hat Fravish+ent8
really +eansC that your +an ta$es you o'en -ee'er than you are a''arently 3illing to go. In
your -ee' heart you 3ant to o'en co+'letely: 9ut the -ra+a you so+eti+es 'lay is one o"
re"usal an- resistance.
In the 1st stage: you are lost in your +oo-s o" re"usal an- "rustration. In the 2n- stage: you
try to su''ress your yearning: sa-ness: an- anger: acting cal+ an- civili=e- on the outsi-e:
going cra=y 3ith 'ain on the insi-e. In the 3r- stage you reali=e that your "e+inine "or+
'lays the re"usal o" love in or-er to "eel your +an o'en you in s'ite o" your resistance. Your
"e+inine -ra+a continues even in the 3r- stage: 9ut it is 'laye- 3ith hu+or: 9oth you an-
your lover $no3ing that your -ee' hearts are one: even though you are saying F;oF an- he is
o'ening you to FYes.F
In the 1st stage: you so+eti+es act Fhar- to getF in or-er to hoo$ your +an8s -esire. In the
2n- stage: you thin$ acting har- to get is an i++ature "or+ o" +ani'ulation: so you try to
e('ress your -esires in a -irect an- civil 3ay rather than going through the ga+es o" hi-e
an- see$. But in the 3r- stage: you reali=e that your "e+inine heart -esires to "eel your +an
o'ening you: in a--ition to si+'ly 9eing o'en.
Your 3r- stage +an 3oul- 9e "eeling you: loving you: right no3: as you are. 1e 3oul- "eel
your -ee' heart8s yearning to o'en in -evotional surren-er as 3ell as your 'lay o" closure.
A -ee' +an "eels all o" you as i" he 3ere F3earingF you li$e a 'er"ectly "itting sha3l o" light.
1e Finha9itsF you as 3ater inha9its the sha'e o" a clou-. 1e loves you an- enters your "or+
so co+'letely: he is you: the sa+e o'enness o" love.
In a 3r- stage relationshi': you can "eel your +an sensitively inha9iting you: even 3hile you
resist. You can "eel hi+ $no3ing you: 'erha's +ore -ee'ly than you $no3 yoursel". You
naturally surren-er to reveal yoursel" o'en in the 'leasure o" his inha9itance. You $no3
yoursel" through his 'ersistent recognition o" 3ho you really are: yearning o'en as love8s
"ullness.
21
A Su--ar# o& Tru!ting an0 O*ening
I trust your -ee'est heart: an- you trust +ine. his trust is the heart o" our
relationshi'.
7e 9oth have shells that so+eti+es 9loc$ our loving an- create te+'orary 9etrayal
an- con"usion. But through these ti+es o" hurt: 3e have 'ractice- to o'en: an- 3e
have learne- to trust each other8s -ee' heart yearning that re4a3a$ens love8s
reign. 7e are co++itte- to the love that lives o'en at the heart o" our lives: the
sa+e love that yearns to o'en through the hearts o" everyone.
67
Your loving is an art that -ee'ens as your li"e gro3s through 'hases. &o+eti+es your
+asculine -irectionality 3ill ste' to the "ore: 'erha's 3hen you -eci-e to cultivate your
career. &o+eti+es your "e+inine "orce o" love4energy8s hugeness 3ill +ove you. &ince you
are co+'ose- o" 9oth +asculine an- "e+inine as'ects: you 3ill naturally -e+onstrate
-i""erent 'arts o" yoursel" at -i""erent ti+es throughout your li"e.
But i" you have a "e+inine se(ual essence: you 3ill yearn to 9e ta$en o'en to !o- 9y a +an
o" -ee' integrity. Even i" you are the 'resi-ent o" a cor'oration an- a great success in your
li"e o" en-eavors: your "e+inine heart 3ill still yearn to give itsel" entirely in -evotional
o""ering.
You +ay 9e 3aiting to 9e clai+e- an- to o""er all o" your 9o-y an- heart to a +an you can
trust to o'en you to !o-: even i" you are a 'o3er"ul 'olitician 3ith oo-les o" +oney. ;o
+atter ho3 +uch +asculine success or "ree-o+ you have achieve-: i" you have a "e+inine
se(ual essence: then your heart yearns to 9e clai+e- in t3o49o-ie- -evotional trust:
ravishe- an- o""ere- 3ithout hesitation.
In the 3orl-: in 9usiness: in 'olitics: in art: let your love gui-e your actions. rust 3hat
un"ol-s 3hen you live "ro+ your -ee'est heart. Do 3hat you love to -o. But 9e care"ul that
your love o" 'olitics or 9usiness isn8t a -isguise- "or+ o" not trusting your +an: or not
trusting that a +an can ta$e your heart o'en to !o-. Be care"ul that your 'ro"essional li"e
is an e('ression o" your -ee'est heart: not a su9stitute "or 9eing ravishe- so "ully that
every cell is entere- an- 9urst o'en in love8s 9liss.
I" you are 3ith a +an that can8t o'en you to !o-: se(ually an- s'iritually: then you are
choosing a situation that -oesn8t -e+an- your total surren-er. I" you are a"rai- to
surren-er44i" one or +ore o" your +asculine shells 3ant to retain control o" your li"e44then
you 3ill al3ays choose a +an 3ho can8t "ully enter you: 3hose -e+an- is 3ea$ enough "or you
to <usti"y your o3n +istrust an- heart closure.
7hen you are rea-y to surren-er o'en an- 9e clai+e- 9y love: you 3ill attract an- choose a
+an 3ho can o'en you "ully: a +an 3ho -oes -e+an- your total surren-er 3ith the consistent
"orce o" his -ee' an- loving 'resence.
*ther3ise: i" your shells still cover your -ee'est heart8s -evotion: you 3ill attract an-
choose a +an 3hose shells create 9lin- s'ots o" non4integrity: <usti"ying your +istrust an-
sustaining your closure until you eventually "orget 3hat it "eels li$e to 9e o'en. Your +an
e('eriences your shelle- e+otional 9uil-u' +ore than your -ee'est heart8s o""ering: so he
trusts his heart +ore an- listens to your e+otionality less. Both o" you trust your o3n heart
+ore than your lover8s.
his is the 9asis o" a 2n- stage relationshi'C sel"4trust: an- the -enial that your lover can
$no3 your heart -ee'er than you.
he 3r- stage is 9ase- on +utual 3orshi' o" each other8s heart4-e'th: recogni=ing that
your shells +a$e you the last 'erson a9le to "eel 3hether your heart is 9eing o""ere- "ully.
You trust your 3r- stage lover to 9e your heart8s heart.
Your +an trusts your heart to "eel his heart +ore truly than he can through his o3n shells.
1e o'ens to receive your heart8s -evotional res'onse to his integrity as 3ell as your heart8s
cringe in res'onse to his 9lin-ness. han$s to your sensitive connection to his heart: your
+an can align his li"e +ore "ully 3ith his o3n heart4truth. 1e can o""er you44an- the 3orl-44
his love an- gi"ts "ro+ a -ee'er 'lace in his heart.
.eeling your +an8s un-e"en-e- an- loving integrity: you gro3 to trust his stea-"ast
co++it+ent to true heart4-e'th44yours: his: an- everyone8s. You +ore consistently receive
68
his trusta9le ca'acity to "eel you an- o'en you +ore "ully than you can o'en yoursel". You
surren-er o'en an- o""er yoursel" to hi+44shells an- all44to "eel: enter: an- ravish o'en to
ever4-ee'er love an- 9liss"ul surren-er.
You each gro3 9eyon- sel"4trust in the 3orshi' an- trust o" love larger than yoursel". Your
+an trusts you can "eel his heart44an- his li"e8s align+ent to his heart8s truth449etter than
he can. You trust that your +an can "eel your heart8s -ee'est yearning through your shells:
9loo+ing o'en your -ee'est <oy o" surren-er 9etter than you can.
You learn to trust an- 3orshi' each other8s hearts as -ivine gi"ts that can o'en you +ore
than you can o'en yoursel": an- as you 9reathe an- rela( an- o'en +ore "ully: you "eel all
hearts8 o'enness: or love: as your natural res'onsi9ility.
22
%oo09#e
*ur ti+e together has co+e to an en-: as every relationshi' -oes: sooner or later.
I love you.
*thers 3illing to share their love 3ith us have o'ene- your heart an- +ine.
I 'ray that our share- love serves to o'en the hearts o" others: +any others.
!oo-9ye: -ear lover.
6e+e+9er love.
Love yoursel": your lover: an- everyone: <ust as you are.
5racticing allo3ing your heart to yearn o'en.
Your active o'ening counteracts your ha9itual closure.
In your -ee'est heart: you an- your lover yearn "or so+ething +ore than the 'assing
en<oy+ents o" 3or$: se(: "a+ily: an- "rien-s.
Your heart is acutely sensitive to every +o+ent that your +an8s -e'th is uno""ere-. An- he
is turne- o"" every +o+ent that your har-ene- shells nag an- 9ash at his 'eace.
Beneath his -ull "ace an- your tension: love yearns to o'en.
Your yearning is a gi"t to each other an- to everyone.
You can have everything an- still 9e -e'resse-: until you learn that you are here as an
o""ering. You are not here to getG you are here to give.
You are 9orn in hu+an "or+: +aturing through chil-hoo-: +i--le age: an- -eath. ;o 9o-y or
relationshi' lasts "orever. *nly your yearning44love8s -esire to o'en through you44is
constant.
Your love is the sa+e love that yearns to o'en at every9o-y8s heart.
Constant yearning is the call to o'en an- give yoursel" to all as love8s o""ering.
You 3ill attract an- ins'ire a +an as 3illing an- a9le to o'en as you are. I" your 9o-y is
un3illing or una9le to surren-er o'en an- "ully e('ress your heart8s yearning an- trust: then
you 3ill attract an- ins'ire a +an un3illing or una9le to "ully clai+ your heart o'en.
Your o""ering is a 9eaconG your +an is: or 3ill 9e: as -ee' as you are no3 o""ering the hole in
your heart: your yearning to o'en as love.
&urren-er o'en 9eyon- the e-ges o" the universe: an- 9e clai+e- o'en 9y !o-.
*r: $no3 that you are actively choosing less.
69
his +o+ent is your o''ortunity to "eel an- 9reathe all: o""ering your -ance o" love an-
your heart o" -evotion as -ee'ly as you have ever yearne-.
70