Parenting Tips

Good morning ladies and gentleman. It gives me a great pleasure to welcome all of you to
this open day of Brainy Montessori in this morning Im here to talk about What does it take
to be a good parent? Before we go further, let me explain a bit what Brainy Montessori is.
Brainy Montessori has been designed to teach children count, writing and reading and so on.
The Montessori Method of education is a child centred education approach based on
observation from birth to adult. It is being tested 100 years ago.
According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, parent defines as a person who is a father or
mother or a person who has a child. Parent also defines as to be or act as a parent to someone.
Another definition is any organism that produces or generate another like parent cell or parent
DNA. While, according oxford dictionary parent define as an animal or plant which new ones
are derived. But, for me parent defines as a person who loves their children unconditionally,
always be by the childrens sides, understand their children. Someone who will teach or show
them right or wrong, correct their mistakes.
Raising kids is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world. Most of the parents
want to do the best in raising and teaching their children. Being a parent is not easy, our child
did not come with manual, instruction or we do not always have the right ideas or ways to
manage them. Many of us want to be a good parent, the perfect one. A truly, good parents is
not a perfect one because no ones perfect. But, a good parent accepts their imperfections and
is a good role model for their children and the important things is try your best to be good and
no need to be perfect. Parents who expect too much from themselves are typically too hard
on them and end up feeling drained and inadequate. Negative feelings ultimately impact our
view of ourselves and our ability to be calm, flexible and happy parents and guess what?
A happy parent is a good one! (Stacy Kaiser). Most of us still think what way or idea that
might help us to manage children. They are several tips that I can share with all of you.
First, let them be. Let your children become whatever they have to become. Dont try to
mould them according to your perception. Your children should do something that will lead
or help them in their progress. For example, if your children want to play with soil. Let them
play. Dont try to stop them because this will stop their progress plus play with soil will help
their hand coordination. Let them face the real soil, touch it and explain to them about soil
and answer their question. Children should face with the real situation. Let them do their
homework or any things in their way. If your children fail in any subject or get the lowest
marks or fail in doing something dont nag to them. Let them face it and solve the situation.
Once they address the problem they will start to solve it. It's an opportunity for your child
makes some changes. Failure helps your child learn more. They will discover what's wrong
with him. Most of the parents feel sad when their child fails because they will feel they fail
to.
Second, be a good disciplinarian. Parents should avoid harsh discipline, parents should not hit
child under any circumstances. Children who always get beaten or scold will fight with other
children. They will likely to be bullies and use violent behaviour to solve something. They
will use this method to let go their anger and find attention. Avoid making loaded statements
by using words as weapons like you act more like a baby than your little brother or what
stupid thing you do. Choose your words carefully and let your child know that everyone
make a mistake and you still love them, but you still need to remind them not to make the
same mistakes again. Children often do something that you dont like because they want your
attention, so sometime ignore those behaviours you do not like and pay attention to behaviour
you like. There are many other ways to discipline your children, which much better than hit
them or use aggression. You can use positive discipline like positive reinforcement and
negative reinforcement. Positive reinforcement is used to motivate them more likely to
happen in the future. For example, you can give your child a present because they help you to
clean dishes. While, negative reinforcement is like us doing something that our child does not
like to add to their good behaviour. For example, you as a mother take away your child
favourite toy if they dont finish their homework. It is important to set rules and boundary,
that will help your child grow without too strict. Communicate to your child about rules
clearly. Explain to them what the consequences that they will get let them familiar. If you
give them punishment, explain to them what they get that what mistake they do. Control your
temper as much as you can. If your children do something that will make you rises up your
voice or hit them. Take a break first. When they do something that is misbehaved tell them
that behaviour is unacceptable, they should change it. Be serious when you said that but not
being mean. Avoid public humiliation. This will lead them to lack of confident and
depressed. If they do something wrong, talk to them privately.



Discipline and freedom are so co-related that, if there is some lack of discipline, the cause is
to be found in some lack of freedom. To obtain discipline, it is quite useless to count on
reprimands or spoken exhortations. Such means might perhaps at the beginning have an
appearance of efficacy, but after a while cease to have any effect. Maria Montessori.
To be a good parent, we need to complete their basic need. We all know that not only
children need basic need we as a parent or human also need basic need. We give almost
everything to our children like food, shelter, clothes, sending them to school, buy them toys
but the most important basic need is love. They need to feel the love from their parents.
When people ask, do you love your children? Surely, all of you will say who dont love their
children or of course I love my children. They are my precious thing like my soul. But how
many of you really understand what love is through a child's eyes? To a child love is when
parents always with them, spend time together, accompany them when they are doing
something like doing homework, and eat together, having weekended together and much
more. They want to feel our existence. But most of the parents are busy person. They are
working and come back in the late of evenings while weekend they want to rest. So most of
them dont have so much time to company their child and as a child they feel abandoned.
They feel no ones love them. I once as a child feel the same. Both of my parents were so
busy and rarely at home. Children grow so fast and you will never know that. Your children
most certainly remember that you did not have so much time with them or do not have time
to attend their graduation at school so you should at least to give some time to spend with
your child they deserve it. So spend some times with your children. Let them feel your
existence, feel your love. You want them to feel your time together is blessed and special
without making them feel like you are forced to be with them. Set aside a date to go to the
park, library, playground, beach depending on their interests. Attend to their school when
have functions like signing their records book, doing homework together, pick them up at
school. Love your children in the same way, but treat them uniquely. Each child is individual
and unique. We need to accept their differences and instil in each child desire to pursue their
dreams and interest. Avoid comparing them with other sibling. Comparing will make your
child develop a jealousy with their sibling. They may hate each other because they feel
competition between them. Love your child fair and equal. Normally, children will feel that
you love their brother or sister more than him and they might think that you do not like their
existence. When they quarrelling be fair and neutral, do not choose sides.
In addition, to be a good parent, we need to treat our children with respect. "The best way to
get respectful treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully," Steinberg writes. Speak
politely with your children dont use harsh word and dont rise up your voice without reason,
because they will do the same when speak with other people. Their manner will reflect our
attitude just like a mirror. We can see our self through the mirror so do other people. But
many parents say you must respect me because Im older than you or live longer than you
and know some survival tricks. Is that mean you have a better life than your child? Like I
mention previously you must respect your children first, then they will respect you back. Pay
attention when your child speaks to you and respond to them. Normally, the child will ask
questions nonstop until they really satisfied with the answer. For example, when they see an
accident, they will ask how that accident happens, why that accident happens, who crash
who, did the person die and so on. As a parent, we must answer the entire question patiently.
Answer nicely and gives the appropriate answer. Try to please your children while you can.
When they do something good please them. For example, your child finishes their homework
and completes everything so as a reward you praise them. They feel happy and will continue
with their good manner. If your children a picky eater, dont think that's a big deal. Children
develop food preferences. They will eat everything in stages. If your children dont eat
vegetables dont think that a worse thing. You dont want to turn mealtimes into bad
occasions. The easier way, dont keep junk food at home. Furthermore, you need to respect
your child privacy. Sometimes your child need a privacy or some place that they will be
alone like their bedroom. If you make your room as out of boundaries for them so respect the
same to their room. Allow them to feel that no one can touch their things or read their diary
or open their wardrobe. This will teach them to honor their own space and to respects privacy
of others. If your child knows that you touch their things or read their personal journal this
may take a long time to them be able to trust you again.
Other than that, be a good role model are ones of the tips to be a good parent. Child learn by
watching their parents. They imitate everything that they watch from us. The younger they
are, the more cues they take from you. Children have a tendency to become what they see or
what they hear. You do not have to be a perfect person, but you must do what you want your
children do. Before you do something or lash out in front of your children, think carefully
unless you want them to do the same in the future. Be aware that you are being observed by
your child. For example, you have so much stress at work and you lash out everything to your
child just because they dont do what you ask for. Is that what you want your child to behave
when stress or angry? It is okay if you make a mistake, but you should apologize or let your
child know that behavior is not good. Dont ignore your mistake because this will show that
they should imitate this behavior. Modeling and do good behavior is much better than telling
them what to do. Teach them to always tell the truth before that you yourself must always
speak the truth because your child imitate your behavior. Speak the truth when people asking
about something. Be kind, help other people who need help like help blind people to walk,
homeless people. Get involved and bring your child together and explain to them why you do
that so they will understand why they should do the same. Exhibit unselfish behavior. Do
things for others without expecting any reward. Be tolerant with others, respect other things
then you child will respect your things too. Respect your parents, respect your neighbor.
Avoid arguing with them or saying bad things in front of your child. You want your children
to respect you, but you must show to them what respect is. All this good behavior that you
can show to your child.
We have so many ways and ideas to manage our children. Sometimes, we just do not know
how to start the ideas and we afraid that ideas will make things getting worse. But, at least we
give a try. I hope all the tips given will help all parents to be a good parent. Last but not least,
remember this, we cannot be the perfect one, but we try to be the good one. Thanks to Dr.
Maria Montessori because established this Montessori method. This will help our child to
boost in their development. Finally, this is an opportune time for me to declare the open day
of the Brainy Montessori and I wish all the tips will give you the benefit and also that you
have a pleasant day today. I warmly welcome all of you again.