Você está na página 1de 32

Vo l. XXVII, Issu e 5 “Ho w ab o u t so m e th in g so m b e r?

” No v e m b e r 1 0 , 2 0 0 5
F e r d e r e r J r . , D e n n i s J . , P r o c o p i o , M a r k J . , M a r t i n o , M i c h a e l D . , S m i t h , B e n j a m i n A . , T s u e , D a n i e l A . , E s p i r i t u , A l l a n M . , T e s s a r , J o n a t h a n , O n e t o - S i k o r s k i , R o b e r t C . , K a d i n g , M a t t h e w R . , L i e t o , W i l g e n e T . , J a c k , D e r e n c e W . , J o h n s o n , A d a m R . “ A . J . ” , M a r t in , D a v i d J . , B y l e r , W i l l i a m J . , H o d s h i r e , M i c h a e l P a u l , D a m e r o n , J o e l P . , R o j a s ,
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M . , C o n n e r , B r i a n R . , C e o , B e r n a r d L . , T u c k e r , R o b e r t W . , B a b c o c k I V , H o w a r d E . , P o n c e R u i z , L o r e n z o , F u r m a n , D o n a l d D . , G r i j a lv a , J a m e s T . , H u n t J r . , K e n n e t h E . , K i m m e l l , M a t t h e w A . , J o h n s o n , L e o n M . , B o n i f a c i o J r . , J e r r y L . , S n e e d , B r a n d o n K . , H o d g e , Je r e m y M . , J a me s I I , L e o n G . , H a r p e r J r . , G a r y R . , E s c o b a r , S e r g i o H . , G r e e r ,
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I I , E d w a r d A u g u s t , B e r n h o l t z , E r i c J . , W i g h t m a n , W i l l i a m B r e t t , B e l l J r . , T i m o t h y M i c h a e l , S t r a i n , A d a m J . , G a n e y J r . , J e r r y L ew i s , W a r r e n , C h a r l e s H o u g h t o n , G i b b s , M a t h e w V . , W a r u i n g e , K e v i n G . , F r a s e r , G r a n t B . , S t e w a r t , D a v i d S . , B l o e m , N i c h o l a s W i l l ia m B . , H u l l , T h o m a s C . , M c N a u g h t o n , J a m e s D . , M o n t g o m e r y , B r i a n P . , G r a h a m
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Y o u n g b l o o d , T r a v i s L . , G i l l , S t e v e n P . , M c G i l l , A r t h u r R . , F a r r o w , J e f f e r e y J . , J o h n s o n , L a v e n a L . , W i l l i a m s , R o n n i e D . , T i a i , F r a n k F . , S a n c h e z J r . , E f r a i n , W o o d , R o n a l d T . , P e n a - R o m e r o , J o r g e L u i s , C o o p e r , T r a v i s S . , H a r t l e y , J a r e d D . , H i n e s J r . , T i m o th y J . , M o u n c e , C l i f t o n B l a k e , J a m e s o n , T r i c i a L . , W i n c h e s t e r , C h r i s t o p h e r D . , Y a h u d a h ,
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J e r e m i a h C . , K e n n e d y , S t e p h e n C . , D i l l , C h r i s t o p h e r W . , R i c h a r d s o n , W i l l i a m D . , S h e r r i l l , J a m e s A l e x a n d e r , T a v a e J r . , I o a s a F . , D e n g k h i m , T e n z i n , R i m e s , G a r r y w e s l e y T a n , M c N a r y , R o b b i e D . , T o t h , E r i c L . , R i d g l e y , K e n n e t h L . , M o r r i s , K e l l y S . , W e l l s J r . , Charles G., Lee, Samuel S., Sinclair, Isiah J., Godbolt, Lee M., Richardson, Bryan
J., Bruce, Travis R., Smith, Kevin S., Thomason III, Paul W., Martinez, Francisco G., Hughes, Jonathan A., Lewis Jr., Lee A., Payne, Rocky D., Heltzel, Paul M., Kieffer, Ricky A., Torrence, Joshua L., Griffith Jr., Donald D., Wilson, Nicholas E., Koch, Ma t t h e w A . , F r a n k l i n , M i c h a e l W . , B o s s e r t , A n d r e w L . , E a c h o , D o n a l d W . , S o l o r i o , J u a n
M . , T w y m a n , W a d e M i c h a e l , M c G o w a n , S t e p h e n M . , G a r c e a u , S e t h K . , S a l e m , A d r i a n a N . , G r i m e s , S e a n , J o n e s , M i c h a e l D . , P u g h , R o b e r t S h a n e , L w i n , W a i P y o e , A l i , A z h a r , R o b l e s , L i z b e t h , N e g r o n , J u l i o E . , G i e n a u , R i c h a r d B r i a n , A n d e r s o n , D a n n y L . , G i l e s , L a n do n S . , N o w a c k i , A n d r e w W . , C h o i , M i n - s u , F a r n a n , C o l b y M . , H e n r y , C h a s s a n
S . , B r e w e r , A d a m N o e l , M o s k i , J a s o n L . , D e e m , M i c h a e l S . , C r a c k e l , A l e x a n d e r B . , G r e s h a m , D a n i e l G . , P a l m a t i e r , J a c o b C . , S t e f fe n e y , E r i c M . , O l i v i e r , N i c h o l a s J . , A s t o n , T r e v o r D . , O l s o n , J o h n T . , D a y , D a v i d F . , T i m m e r m a n , J a s o n G . , L h o t k a , J e s s e M . , M al s o n , A d a m , C l a r k e , K e v i n M i c h a e l , T r a h a n , S e t h R . , G e r t s o n , C l i n t o n R . , G i l ,
C a r l o s J . , H e r n a n d e z , F r a n k B . , H e n d r i x , J a s o n R . , R a h a i m , J o s e p h A . , O s b e y , T i m o t h y R . , C a r t e r , J u s t i n B . , B e l l - J o h n s o n , K a t r i n a L a n i , P l u m o n d o r e , A d a m J . , P u s a t e r i , C h r i s t o p h e r M . , A r c i o l a , M i c h a e l A . , S a l i e , D a v i d J . , L a k e , C h a d W . , B r an g m a n , D a v i d J ., K n o x J r . , R e n e , G o o d i n g , D a k o t a h L . , R a n g e l , R a y , S h e p h e r d , K r i s t o p h e r L . ,
M c N a i l , R o b e r t A . , P e r e z J r . , R i c h a r d A . , R o b b i n s , W i l l i a m T . , H o u s b y , J e s s i c a M . , H e n t h o r n , J e f f r e y S . , W o b l e r , Z a c h a r y R y a n , A l l m o n , J e r e m y O . , W i c h l a c z , T r a v i s M . , T o r r e s , D a n i e l , B a y o w , S t e v e n G . , C l i f t o n , R i c h a r d C . , S h e r m a n , S t e p h e n R . , C o o l e y , S e an M i c h a e l , M a h e r , S e a n P . , B r o c k , S e a n L e e , H e n d r i c k s o n, R o b e r t T . , W a r r e n ,
M a r k C . , R e d i f e r , J a s o n C . , Z i m n y , C h r i s t o p h e r E . , S w a i n I V , H a r r y R . , S e r r a n o , N a z a r i o , M i l l e r I V , J a m e s H . , J a m e s , L i n d s e y T . , J a c k , E d w a r d E . , T a y l o r , K e i t h E d w a r d , H e a l d , B a r b a r a , J o n e s , C h a r l e s S . , C a s t e l l a n o , S t e p h e n A . , R y m e r I I , L y l e W . , F a r r a r Jr . , A n d r e w K . , Z a u n , M i c k e y E . , E v a n s I I , M i c h a e l S . , R e e d , J o n a t h a n R a y , R a m s e y ,
C h r i s t o p h e r J . , R o d r i g u e z , J o s e p h E . , B o n i l l a, O r l a n d o A . , B e a t t y , J o n a t h a n S . , L u n a , K e v i n M . , R a g i m o v , M o u r a d , S h u m n e y , D u s t i n M . , J o h n s o n , S t e p h e n P . , H o p p e r , B r i a n C . , S a i n t v i l , G a e l , H o u s e , J o h n D a n i e l , S p e n c e , J o s e p h B . , S c h u b e r t , N a t h a n A . , R a m o s , Hector, Moore, Nathaniel K., Starr Jr., Mi c h a e l L . , K l e i n , A l l a n , F u l l e r , T r a v i s
J . , G i b s o n , T i m o t h y M . , K e l l y , S e a n P . , G o r d o n , L y l e L . , K i m b l e , D e x t e r S . , J a f a r k h a n i - T o r s h i z i J r . , S a e e d , H e r n a n d e z , T o n y L . , R a i r d a n , R h o n a l d D a i n , A l a n i z , P a u l C . , B o w l i n g , J o n a t h a n W . , S c h u m a n n , D a r r e l l J . , S m i t h , M a t t h e w R . , M a c i e l , F r e d L . , W e a v e r, Christopher L., Linn, Karl R., Strong, Jesse W., Bland, Brian D., Kinzer Jr.,
W i l l i a m S . , K n i g h t , T i m o t h y A . , G i l b e r t J r . , R i c h a r d A . , E t t e r l i n g , J o n a t h a n E d w a r d , F i n k e J r . , M i c h a e l W . , M o o r e , J a m e s L e e , Gr i m e s , K y l e J . , B u r k , T a y l o r J . , S w a n k , B r e t t D . , Ad a m s , L e o n a r d W . , Y o l k i n , V i k t a r V . , L e o n - P e r e z , J e s u s A . , M a r i n J r . , J a v i e r, Carlson, Michael C., Stevens, Joseph W., Rangel, Jose C., Hoe, Nainoa K., Lusk II,
J o e F e n t o n , C h i l d r e s s , K y l e W i l l i a m , S u l l i v a n , C h r i s t o p h e r J . , F o n s e c a , J e s u s , G e e r , G e o r g e R . , V i t a g l i a n o , T h o m a s E . , O b a j i , Fr a n c i s C . , K a m o l v a t h i n , A l a i n L . , S w i n d e l l , N a t h a n i e l T . , P a t t e r s o n , J a y t o n D . , H o l t e r I I I , P a u l C . , H o l l o w a y , M a t t h e w W . , R o d ri g u e z V e l a s c o , J u a n R o d r i g o , B e c k e r , G u n n a r D . , M a c k , B r i a n A . , S m i t h , M i c h a e l J . ,
M a n u e l , W i l l i a m F . , S w e e n e y I I I , R o b e r t W e s l e y , M c F a r l a n e J r . , D w a y n e J a m e s , F i t e , J o s e p h E . , G u a s t a f e r r o , D a n i e l F . , C o m e a u x , K u r t J . , M u r p h y , W a r r e n A . , F a s s b e n d e r , H u e y P . L . , F r i c k e y , A r m a n d L . , B a b i n , C h r i s t o p h e r J . , B e r g e r o n , B r a d l e y J . , C i s n e r o s - Al v a r e z , J u l i o C . , D a v i s , Z a c h a r i a h S c o t t , V o n r o n n , K e n n e t h G . , W o o t e n I I I , C u r t i s
L . , D e p e w , C ory R., McHalffey, Jeremy W., Marcum, Joshua S., Buie, Jimmy D., Washington, Bennie J., Houser, Thomas E., Parrello, Brian P., LeBrun, Jeff, Smith, Jason E., Ficek, Damien T., Sanchez, Oscar, Nelson, Craig L., Lehto, Jason A., Briones Jr., Pab l i t o P e n a , N y r e n , N a t h a n i e l J . , O l s o n , T o d d D . , R i v e r a - S e r r a n o , J o s e A . , P h i l l i p s ,
J a m e s R . , S m i t h , R a l e i g h C . , B a r n e t t , C h r i s t o p h e r W . , H i l l e n b u r g , E r i c , P e t s c h e , N e i l D . , A y r o , L i o n e l , P o u l i n S r . , L y n n R o b e r t , D o s t i e , T h o m a s J o h n , C a s t r o , J o n a t h a n , J o h n s o n , R o b e r t S . , H e w i t t , C o r y M i c h a e l , K a r p o w i c h , P a u l D . , M e l o , J u l i a n S . , J a c o b s en J r . , W i l l i a m W . , V a n K o m e n , D a r r e n D . , R u h r e n , D a v i d A . , M a s o n , N i c h o l a s C .
“ N i c k ” , O D e l l , R o b e r t D . , B a l d w i n , J o e l E g a n , M e z a , B a r r y K . , F a r m e r , D o n a l d B . , S w e g e r , F r a n k l i n A . , M a r t i n e z , V i c t o r A . , A n d e r s o n , M i c h a e l D . , T i m e , T i n a S a f a i r a , V r o m a n , B r e n t T . , W a r n e r , R i c h a r d D . , L o p e z , H i l a r i o F . , B l a z e r , M e l v i n L . , R a m s e y , J o s h ua A . , C l a i r d a y , J a s o n S . , S t e w a r t , I a n W . , D i c k i n s o n , J o s h u a W . , B l a n t o n , J e f f e r y
S . , K i r k , J e f f r e y L . , H o y t , R o b e r t W . , R u n d , G r e g o r y P . , A d l e s p e r g e r , C h r i s t o p h e r S . , R e n e h a n , K y l e J . , L e a c h , P a t r i c k D . , S h i el d s , A n d r e w C . , W i l l i a m s I V , A r t h u r C . , K i m , I n C . , G i b b s , T o d d C l a y t o n , S t u b e n h o f e r , M a r k N . , E g g e r s , K y l e A . , W a r d , A n d r e w M ., T r o s t I I I , M a r v i n L e e , R o o d h o u s e , E d w i n W i l l i a m , T u i a l u u l u u , S a l a m o J . , B o a t r i g h t ,
M i c h a e l L . , M i t t s , D a v i d A . , B e h n k e , J o s e p h O . , G a s i e w i c z , C a r i A n n e , I r i z a r r y , H e n r y E . , L e , B i n h N . , W y a t t , M a t t h e w A . , M a h l en b r o c k , D a v i d P . , H a r r i s o n , G e o r g e D a n i e l , F i s h e r , D a v i d M . , P e n a , J a v i e r O b l e a s - P r a d o , K o l d a , Z a c h a r y A . , W i l s o n , B r y a n S . , G ue r e c a J r . , J o s e , C a l d e r o n , P a b l o A . , E n g e l d r u m , C h r i s t i a n P . , U r b i n a , W i l f r e d o F . ,

SOLDIERS
H a y e s , E r i k W., Magaoay, Blake A., Davis, Daryl A., Hanson Jr., Charles A., Shackelford, Michael B., Martinezluis, Trinidad R., Benish, Stephen C., Brooks, Adam R., Lee, Carl W., Christensen, Jeremy E., Bosselmann, Kirk J., Smith, Michael A., Lucero, Josh u a E . , F a i r c l o t h , B r a d l e y M . , W i n k l e r , J o r d a n D . , H o u c k , D a v i d B . , M e y e r , H a r r i s o n
J . , G r a n t , B r i a n K . , H o l m e s , J e f f e r y S c o t t , C a n t a f i o , R y a n J . , M a r k u , G e n t i a n , N o l t e , N i c h o l a s S . , D i a z V a r e l a , S e r g i o R . , E d i ng e r , B e n j a m i n C . , E b e r t , B l a i n M . , C o h e n , M i c h a e l R . , W e l k e , J o s e p h T . , R o u s t u m , D a v i d L . , B r y a n t J r . , J a c k , H e r e d i a , J o s e p h J ., D o w n e y , M i c h a e l A . , W e s t , P h i l l i p G . , A r m s , B r a d l e y T h o m a s , B r o w n , D e m a r k u s D . ,
G a v r i e l , D i m i t r i o s , N o l a n , J o s e p h M . , F i g u e r o a , L u i s A . , H a n k s , M i c h a e l W a y n e , M c C o n n e l l , D a n i e l J a m e s , H e f l i n , C h r i s t o p h e r T . , W u l l e n w a b e r , L u k e C . , F l o r e s - M e j i a , J o s e R i c a r d o , C a d d y , M a r s h a l l H . , Q u a l l s , L o u i s W . , M i l l e r , W i l l i a m L . , P a r k e r , B r a d l e y L ., H u n t , I s a i a h R . , R a p i c a u l t , P a t r i c k M a r c M . , S m i t h , A n t o i n e D . , P e r a l t a , R a f a e l ,
Ailes, Jeramy A., Swain, James E., Thompson, Lance M., Desiato, Travis R., Kielion, Shane E., Ryan, Marc T., Ziolkowski, Nicholas L., Burger Jr., Dale A., Payton, George J., Perez, Andres H., Dempsey, Kevin J., Larsen, Cole W., Lu, Victor R., McLeese, Justin D., Ellsworth, Justin M., Norwood, Byron W., Velez, Jose A., Sims, Sean P., Bryan,
Benjamin S., Dima, Catalin D., Matteson, James C. “J.C.”, Anderson, Nathan R., Medina, Brian A., Prening, Brian P., Anderson, Nicholas H., Iwan, Edward D., Branning, David M., Maher, Jarrod L., White, Raymond L., Strader, Morgan W., Shields, Jonathan B., Holder II, Theodore S. “Sam”, Bowling, Theodore A., Blecksmith, James P.
“ J P ” , G i a n n o p o u l o s , P e t e r J . , R e p p u h n , J u s t i n D . , D o e r f l i n g e r , T h o m a s K . , B u r n s , K y l e W . , H u e y , S e a n P . , C a n n i n g , W e s l e y J . , R a m i r e z , G e n e , M i l l e r J r . , D e n n i s J . , P i c k e r i n g , A a r o n C . , O t t o l i n i , M i c h a e l C . , J i m e n e z I I , R o m u l o J . , W o o d s , J u l i a n , M a l c o m J r ., D a n T . , H o d g e s , E r i c k J . , S i m p s o n , A b r a h a m , J a m e s , W i l l i a m C . , S e g u r a , J u a n E . ,
C a r u s o , D a v i d M . , F a u l k e n b u r g , S t e v e n W . , L a r s o n , N i c h o l a s D . , T r o t t e r , J o h n B y r o n , M o o r e , H o r s t G e r h a r d “ G a r y ” , S l a y , R u s s e l l L . , W o o d , N a t h a n R . , B a b b i t t , T r a v i s A . , C o r n e l l , T o d d R . , W e l l s , L o n n y D . , A u c h m a n , S t e v e n E . , L a m , J e f f r e y , H a m m o n d , N a t h a n i el T., Warns II, Robert P., O’ Donnell, Shane K., Ries, David G., Zapp, Thomas
J . , P a l m e r , J o s h u a D . , R a m e y , B r a n d e n P . , W i s d o m , C l i n t o n L e e , C l a r y , D o n A l l e n , F r e e m a n , B r y a n L . , L a n g l e y , S e a n M . , T r a n , Q u oc B i n h , M c V e y , O t i e J o s e p h , B a k e r , B r i a n K . , Y o e m a n s , J u s t i n R . , C a m a c h o - R i v e r a , C a r l o s M . , W e n t z , C o d y L . , B a r o , J e r e m i a h A . , H u b b a r d , J a r e d P . , W e b b , C h a r l e s J o s e p h , L y n c h , M a t t h e w D . , F o x , T r a v i s
A . , B y r d I I , J o h n T . , B o w , Je r e m y D . , L a p k a , C h r i s t o p h e r J . , C o u r t n e y , K e l l e y L . , S c a r b o r o u g h , M i c h a e l P . , R i e d e l , A n d r e w G . , L u k a c , J o h n , F o r t u n e , M a u r i c e K e i t h , D o w n i n g I I , S t e p h e n P . , B a t t l e s S r . , M i c h a e l , A k i n t a d e , S e g u n F r e d e r i c k , L e m o n , J e r o m e , O l iv e i r a , B r i a n , S l o c u m , R i c h a r d P a t r i c k , B o l e s , D e n n i s J . , G a d s d e n , J o n a t h a n E . ,
B a s c o m , D o u g l a s E . , E h r l i c h , A n d r e w C . , B r e n n a n , W i l l i a m I . , J o h n s o n , C h r i s t o p h e r B . , S a l a z a r , W i l l i a m I . , B u r g e s s , A l a n J . , O we n , M i c h a e l G . , S c h r a m m , B r i a n K . , S a n t o s , J o n a t h a n J . , V a n d e r t u l i p , J o s i a h H . , B e a r d , B r a d l e y S . , H a w k i n s I I , O m e r T . , W a t e r s , D a v i d L . , B a r b r e t , M a r k A . , R e g n i e r , J e r e m y F . , M o r e n o , J a i m e , B a k e r , R o n a l d W . ,
S o l t e s J r . , C h a r l e s R . , G o n z a l e z , V i c t o r A . , F e l s b e r g , P a u l M . , P h e l a n , M a r k P . , P i n t o r , D e n n i s L . , W e g e r , M i c h a e l S . , W y a t t , D a n i e l R . , Z o o k , I a n T . , M a r t i n e z , O s c a r A . , M e r v i l l e , C h r i s t o p h e r A . , O s b o u r n e , P a m e l a G . , B u r b a n k , M i c h a e l L e e , M o n r o e , A n t h o ny W . , R u s i n , A a r o n J . , P r e v e t e , J a m e s E . , R a m s e y , C a r s o n J . , H a l v e r s o n , A n d r e w ,
V o s s , M i c h a e l S., Brown, Andrew W., Jacobs, Morgen N., Kim, Jeungjin Na “Nikky”, Cawvey, Jessica L., Morgan Jr., Richard L., Potts, Christopher S., Pettaway Jr., James L., Collier, Russell L., Hennessy, Jack Taft, Uvanni, Michael A., Nolan, Allen, Jones, R o d n e y A . , C u n n i n g h a m , D a r r e n J . , T i t c o m b , J o s h u a K . , D e n n i e , M i k e A . , P r e w i t t ,
T y l e r D . , S i c k el s , K ennet h L., V i l l anueva, J os el i to O ., Cox, G rego ry A ., A l l t on, Eri c L., J ohnso n, D avi d W., Moxl ey J r., Cl ifford L., Unruh, Robert O l iver, Boyl es , Aaron, L educ, Rya n, M ate o, Ramon, F ol mar, Ti mot hy, K oeni g, Lanc e J ., H a rri s , A da m J . , Smi th , B e n j a m i n K . , S o r a m , S k i p p e r , S t a h l , N a t h a n E . , C a t e s , S t e v e n C . T . , H e n r y , J o s h u a
J., Harrington, Foster L., Adams, Brandon E., Price, James W., Rosenbaum, Thomas Chad, Ebert, Christopher S., Stern, Andrew K., Rintamaki, Steven A., Howman, Gregory C., Uhles, Drew M., Shea, Kevin M., Brown, Tyler Hall, Demand, Jacob H., Machado-Olmos, Cesar F., Puckett, Mathew D., Soltau, Adrian V., Brown, Dominic C.,
I s e n b e r g , B e n j a m i n W . , W e i s e n b u r g , D a v i d J . , M e l u a t , J a y g e e N g i r m i d o l , T h o m a s , C a r l , H a l a l , M i c h a e l J . , H a g y J r . , G u y S t a n l e y , P o i n d e x t e r , J a s o n T . , W e t h e r b e e , A l e x a n d e r E . , C e d e r g r e n , D a v i d A . , D a c l a n J r . , E d g a r P . , F a u l k n e r , J a m e s D a n i e l , D e L e o n J r . , La u r o G . , M a r t i n e z , M i c h a e l A . , S p a r k s , J a s o n L . , D r a k e , C h a d H . , P r i c e , T i m o t h y
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R u b e n , R e i s s , B r e n d o n C u r t i s , G i f f o r d , J o n a t h a n L e e , C l i n e J r . , D o n a l d J o h n , P o k o r n e y J r . , F r e d e r i c k E b e n , H o d s o n , N i c o l a s M i c h a e l , W a l t e r s , D o n a l d R a l p h, P i e s t e w a , L o r i A n n , W i l l i a m s , M i c h a e l J a s o n , J o h n s o n I I , H o w a r d , G o n z a l e z , J o r g e A l o n s o , G a r i b a y , Jo s e A n g e l , R o s a c k e r , R a n d a l K e n t , A d d i s o n , J a m a a l R a s h a r d , F r i b l e y , D a v i d
Keith, Slocum, Thomas Jonathan, Bitz, Michael Edward, Chanawongse, Kemaphoom “Ahn”, Buesing, Brian Rory, Adams, Thomas Mullen, Orlowski, Eric James, Tobler, Brandon Scott, Kennedy, Brian Matthew, Gutierrez, Jose Antonio, Child ers, Therrel Shane, Beaupre, Ryan Anthony, Aubin, Jay Thomas, Waters-Bey, Kendall Damon
Indicting Libby
By Brian Barash
The White House has been reeling this source, Libby, gave her express permission to there is no sufficient evidence f o r e i t h e r t o b e
week from the indictment of Vice President release his name did she relent and was formally indicted.
Dick Cheney’s Chief of Staff, I. Lewis “Scooter” released from jail. Many conservatives, on the other hand,
Libby Jr. Libby was indicted on the last day of have decried this investigation as politically
a two-year federal grand jury probe lead by US motivated and believe the charges are the result
Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald. of manufactured charges and an overambitious
Libby has been charged with two counts of mak- Special Prosecutor. However, it would be wise to
ing false statements to federal agents, two note that Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald
counts of perjury and one count of obstruction is also a Republican.
of justice for misleading and deceiving the Whatever you may believe, there is no
grand jury about how he learned that Joseph questioning the fact that this scandal has dealt
Wilson’s wife, Valerie “Plame” Wilson, was a a serious blow to an already weakened White
Central Intelligence Agency operative. The House. The White House has come under fire
Special Prosecutor, as well as many liberal and this year for the lack of progress in the Iraq war
anti-war groups, has claimed that Libby and as well as the mishandling of Hurricane
possibly others in the White House were Katrina, the latter of which eventually lead to
involved in purposely outing Agent Plame as the resignation of FEMA director Michael
political retribution for a report written by her Brown, a political appointee of the Bush
husband. Administration.
Th e report, written by retired career Most recently the White House has come
diplomat and former US Ambassador Joseph under fire by Democrat’s in the Senate, whose
Wilson, alleged that President Bush’s claims of minority leader demanded a rare closed session
Uranium being sold from Nigeria to Iraq for use of Congress November 2nd to deal with the lack
in weapons of mass destruction was false infor- of progress in the investigation i n t o w h e t h e r o r
mation used to inflate the cause for war. After n o t C o n g r e s s w a s m i s l e a d b y t h e c u r r e n t a d m i n-
this report was released, New York Times w r i t e r SOOO CLOSE TO CHENEY istration in the months leading up to war in
Judith Miller as well as Robert Novak released Courtesy of Powerful Zoom Lense Technology Iraq.
columns naming Plame by her maiden name, President Bush’s administration is
thus ending her career as a CIA undercover The probe also put many other White hurting so badly from all of this bad publicity
operative and possibly putting her in harm’s House figures on the defensive against possible that the President’s overall job performance
way. charges from the continuing investigation, rating by the American public has dropped to a
As a result, the grand jury probe that including President Bush’s senior political career low of 39%. Instead of attempting to
ultimately ended with the indictment of Libby advisor, Karl Rove. Many liberals contend that return the country and politics thereof towards
was launched. During the investigation, many these indictments are just the beginning, and the center, he has chosen this week to nominate
involved parties were asked to testify before the that they represent the first insights into a an extremely conservative Supreme Court jus-
grand jury, most notably reporter Judith Miller, broader scandal. Some even believe the crimes tice that will likely lead to another standoff
who spent 85 days in jail for refusing to release could go as far as Dick Cheney and possibly with Democrats from this already embattled
the identity of her source. Only when her even to Bush, although it’s widely believed that administration.

John Kerry: Hoping to Bring Home the Troops


By Laura Positano
John Kerry may not have won the presi- in the forward part of a C-130. In the middle of
dency, but he still, as a senator, keeps caring the cavernous cargo hold was a simple, alu-
about the soldiers. A frequent topic on his minum coffin with a small Amer i can f lag d r ap ed
campaign trail was the quagmire in Iraq and over it. We were bringing another American
how there needs to be an exit strategy to even- s ol d ie r, j us t ki l l ed, home to hi s f a m i l y a n d f i n a l
tually get the soldiers home. Kerry understood resting place.
how the situation in Iraq was so complicated “The starkness of his coffin in the center
because of the real potential for a power vacu- of the hold, the silence except for the din of the
um, a political abyss, so he knew such a strate- engines, was a real time cold reminder of the
gy had to be nuanced. Now, a year after his consequences of decisions for which we Senators
shocking defeat in a close presidential election share responsibility…. I wondered why all of
between the incumbent “war president” and the America would not be allowed to see him arrive
actual war veteran, the soldiers are still in Iraq. at Dover Air Force Base instead of hiding him
Over 2,000 soldiers have been killed, and from a nation that deserves to mourn together in
this statistic has angered even Republicans who truth and in the light of day. His lonely jour-
once were, in the name of party loyalty, outspo- ney compels all of us to come to grips with our
kenly supportive of Bush’s Iraq war. President choices in Iraq….. Now more than 2,000 brave
B u s h h a s a p o p u l a r i t y r at i n g i n t h e t h i r t i e s , a Americans have given their lives, and several
steep unpopularity that has drawn comparisons h u n d r e d t h o u s a n d m o r e ha v e d o n e e v e r y t h i n g i n
to Lyndon Johnson during the dismal Vietnam their power to wade through the ongoing inter-
era. John Kerry, who once was parodied by n a l c i v i l s t r i f e i n I r a q . A n I r a q w h i c h i n c r e a s-
Bush’s supporters as an intellectual who was ingly is what it was not before the war - a breed-
oblivious to what needed to be done in Iraq, has ing ground for homegrown terrorists and a mag-
been low on the political radar, but has now net for fore i gn t errori s t s ….
begun a campaign to get troops home. “We are entering a make or break six
Through e-mails to supporters, Kerry has month period, and I want to talk about the steps
b e e n m o b i l i z i n g t h o u s a n d s o f s i g n e rs t o h i s we must take if we hope to bring our troops home
online petition to get the more than 20,000 within a reasonable timefra me from an Iraq
American troops home before Thanksgiving. that’s not permanently torn by irrepressible
GORE IN ‘08? NOT ON JOHN’S WATCH!,
In a speech displayed on the linked conflict…. To undermine the insurgency, we
Courtesy of The Land of Second Chances
johnkerry.com website, which he delivered at must instead simultaneously pursue both a
Georgetown University, Mr. Kerry expressed casualties were not allowed to be shown by the political settlement and the withdrawal of
angst and frustration, even anger, about the war American media, for the public to see. Here is American combat forces linke d t o s p e c i f i c ,
and its incessant casualties. He discussed how an excerpt of his speech, in which he expresses r e s p o n s i b l e b e n c h m a r k s . A t t h e f i r s t b e n c h-
Senators, who were mislead into giving Bush the both his angst and his solutions to withdraw the mark, the completion of the December elections,
go-ahead for the war, had some responsibility country’s troops. we can start the process of reducing our forces
for the casualties, albeit indirectly. He also “A few weeks ago I departed Iraq from by withdrawing 20,000 troops over the course of
expressed dismay at why coffins of American Mosul. Three Senators and staff were gathered the holidays….”

Page 2 Current Events


Good Show, Great Seats
By Rob Pearsall
This past Tuesday at the USG Senate Article III. Senator Ortiz asked if there could regarded as the “Berkley of the East” (because it
Meeting, something amazing happened. It was b e a d i f f e r e n t a p p r o a c h ; s h e f e l t t h i s p e n a l t y was one of the most activist filled cam puses on
exciting. There was a palatable tension in the was too harsh. She was on the same page as most the east coast) it never got 33% in an election on
air. The room was sharply divided and the final of the Senate. Most felt that gambling the exis- campus. If they couldn’t do it then with an
vote ultimately decided the outcome, the out- tence of USG and of clubs on campus was too big. active campus, how could we do it now with our
come of the Voter Turnout Improvement Act. Matt Willemain of The Stony Brook Press s t a t e d e x t e n s i v e a p a t h y ? Opposition didn’t exist
This school suffers from some very real t h a t c e r t a i n c l u b s l i k e t h e r a d i o s t a t i o n w o u l d everywhere though; there was a small bit of
apathy when it comes to student government. cease to function completely if the activity fee optimism in the room.
Students don’t vote on issues of Student were not disbursed for even a semester. Clubs, Jowy Romano of The Stony Brook Press
Government. They don’t vote at all. Out of including this paper, said that, with
13,000 undergraduate students, only a handful would not be able to A r t i c l e I V i m p l e-
vote each year. USG is constantly trying to function without the mented, we needn’t
improve voter turnout. Senators Amy Wisnoski Student Activity Fee. worry about the 20%
and Igor Levenberg came up with a solution. S e n a t o r stipulation. Article
Their solution was the Voter Turnout Levenberg recalled IV assured that
Improvement Act. The act consisted of three the senate meeting on there would be vot-
main points. USG would establish a minimum October 11th. In the ing stations set up in
required voting pool for all USG elections. This m e e t i n g i t w a s s t a n d- Melville Library, the
pool was to be set at 20 %. Senator Wisnoski ing room only becau se Student Activities
stated that this was low in comparison to other sports clubs showed Center, and the
schools with similar stipulations on voting. up en masse to make Student Union.
Other schools, such as the University of sure their funding was These are the places
California, require between 25% and 30% of not cut. Levenberg said on campus with the
students to vote. I say require because if the that voters need a kick highest volume of
voting pool is not met then the election is in the “you know traffic. Wisnoski
invalid. where” to get them shared the same
The third part, Article III: Validity of active in government. feeling.
Elections, stated that if the voting pool did not P u n i s h m e nt for not vot- I believe that the
c o n s i s t o f 2 0 % o f t he u n d e r g r a d u a t e p o p u l a t i o n ing would be a reason to concentrated effort of
then the election would be deemed invalid. Two vote. As it is now, stu- SOPHISTICATED POLITICAL CARTOON, student media, USG,
weeks later a new election would be held. d e n t s t a k e t h e c l u b s , Courtesy of Rob Pearsall NYPIRG, and the voting
Subsequently, if the pool is not met for this organizations, and kiosks would have made
election another election is to be held after Undergraduate Student Government for granted. the 20% stipulation nominal at best. I would
another two weeks. This is to recur until the S e n a t o r W i s n o s k i c l a i m e d t h a t n o t h i n g h a p p e n s have liked to have seen the atmosphere on cam-
voting pool minimum is met. If the minimum is because nothing was at stake. pus after the passage of this act. All of the
never achieved then “there shall be no govern- The opposition from the gallery was clubs and organizations on campus is a big gam-
ing body and therefore no disbursement of fierce as well. Robert Romano came to the podi- b l e . I t ’ s n o t j u s t t h e i n s t i t u t i o n s b u t t h e s o c i a l
funds related to the student activity fee.” This um and stated that the 20% stipulation could be lives and recreation of many students here. It
would mean no USG and no clubs. No LEG for u n c o n s t i t u t i o n a l . H e s t a t e d t h a t t h e c o n s t i t u- might have killed the apathy o n c a m p u s , i t
buildings. Nothing. tion would need to be amended if it were to pass. might have killed the life on campus. The act
Before I get to the third part of the act I NYPIRG opposed the bill based on SBU’s voting was killed in an 11 to 2 vote.
should take the time to recount the response to history. Cheryl Lynch stated that when SBU was

Popularity, Money, and Controversy:


Kind of Like High School All Over Again By “Nutrient” Rich Deltortuga

BOOMBERG!
FERRARI!
BOOMBERG!
YOU’RE SUCH A DICK.

SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS,


SIGN MY YEARBOOK!

Current Events Page 3


1000 More Troops Dead and Continued
Violence in Iraq One Year Later
By Joan Leong
“Since the start of Bush’s “war on ter- voting on the constitution had the Sunnis com- clear all parts of the country from insurgent
ror” a year and 150-something days ago, suicide ing out in tremendous numbers to vote against it control, ensure that those areas remain secure
bombers, the Iraqi militia and insurgents have which was a big difference from them boycotting and build durable, national Iraqi institutions.
killed over 1,000 American soldiers.” the voting ballots during the elections. If the That’s a solid plan but unrealistic. Sometimes it
That was a line from one of my articles Sunnis refuse to accept the constitution, then it feels never ending because the insurgents are
last fall. Another year goes by and I’m still is just a useless document to them; they will not readily recruiting. Insurgents do not even need
writing the same article with altered statistics. sanction it. And so the fighting continues. The control of a region because it only takes one sui-
Operation Iraqi Freedom began in 2002 and now Sunnis are viewing this document as further cide bomber to walk into a crowded area to kill
the casualties have added up to 2,000. The evidence that the y will not have a say in the new dozens. There has to be more compromise
m a j o r i t y of t h e d e a t h s a r e A m e r i c a n t r o o p s a n d government. If anything, the new constitution is between the Shiites, Kurds an d S u n n i s a t t h e
15,000 more are on the wounded list. While I another building block in Iraq’s division not governmental level before the i n s u r g e n t s w i t h-
was wr i t i n g t h i s same ar t ic le la st y ear , I was unification. draw their fire.
hoping the situation would have improved by You can’t end violence with more vio-
now but in a way it has gotten worse. lence, not in this situation anyway. Usually that
W i t h o u t t r y i n g t o d e p r e c i a t e t h e s a c r i- is how wars are won but the difference is that we
fice these young men and women gave, our casu- aren’t fighting another army. The Sunnis are
alties do not remotely come close to the Iraqi f i gh t i n g t h e i r w a r o n m u c h d i f f e r e n t t e r m s t h i s
loss. In the last six months alone, about 3,870 t i m e a r o u n d a n d t h e y aren’t afraid to die. That’s
Iraqi citizens have been killed, most of them the key difference. Killing some insurgents will
Shiites and Kurds attacked by Sunni rebels and give birth to more. The suicide bombers are
suicide bombers. Jim Phillips says the relentless and until the Iraq government comes
Conservative group, the Heritage Foundation, to term with this, there will never be unity. It is
“ f o c u s i n g o n A m e r i c a n c a s u a l t i e s t a k e s a t t e n- understandable during all those years under
tion away from the larger number of Iraqi troops Saddam’s regime, the Kurds and Shiites suffered
and civilians who have died in the conflict.” and now they are using their power in the gov-
Both sides have suffered immense casualties ernment to disenfranchise the Sunnis as much
and one should not out shadow the other. What as possible. That isn’t going to help anything
t h e s e 2 , 0 0 0 d e a th s b r i n g t o o u r a t t e n t i o n i s t h a t along if they don’t meet some kind of common
we still have American people over there losing ground. These divisions are hundreds of years
their lives, people who have family and friends in the making and violence and unrest will con-
waiting back home who will never see their tinue unless a significant action is taken by
loved ones again. The citizens of Iraqi face an Iraqi leaders. This is the Iraqi people’s struggle
even greater threat as their lives are in danger a n d A m e r i c a n t r o o p s a r e c a u g h t i n t h e c r o s s-
every day everywhere they go because of the fire. Until they re alize they c a n ’ t i g n o r e t h e
heavy divide between the various groups. THUMBS UP! HOORAY!, demands of the Sunnis, nothing will change.
There is now an approved constitution to Courtesy of Teleprompter Triumphalism Despite many changes and improvements the
go alongside with the democratically elected Iraqi people went through, a new constitution
government. It is believed that with this new The American people continue to push and new secure government, the y a r e s t i l l a t t h e
constitution it will unify the government and is for a timetable for withdrawal and logically, I same crossroad since last year. All sides will
a st e p t o war d en su r i n g l aw an d o r d er . Th e p r o b- cannot see one in the nearby future. I want the continue to suffer casualties and nothing is
lem is that while the constitution passed, most troops to come home as much as anyone else but going to change anytime soon. Will our troops
of the Sunni-Arabs will refuse to recognize that the insurgency over there is still on the rise. come home soon? Will the future be optimistic
as the new law of the land. Since the Shiites are Secretary of State Condolezza Rice laid out a at this rate? I want to say yes, but the answer is
the majority of the population, we foresaw that t h r e e - p a r t p o l i t i c a l - m i l i t a r y s t r a t e g y f o r c o m- probably no.
the constitution would be readily passed. The pleting this task: The Iraqi government must

Montana, Economics, Soldiers, Iraq, Political


Science, etc. By Michael Doggett
In the place where I grew up, there is a friends and I had never seen and didn’t care After my best friend dropped out of a
strange dichotomy: a high quality of life, low about (c’mon, it was high school). The country m i l i t a r y a c a d e m y a s a p r o t e s t a g a i n s t t h e p s y-
crime rate and growing population, but a per- was at war, and the military began chatting cho-physical military model and ongoing war in
c a p i t a i n c o m e t h a t r a n k s 4 7t h i n t h e n a t i o n . everyone up like car s alesmen. Recruiters set Iraq, he told me that he had initially joined the
There are a large number of high school gradu- up posts around town, asking any cognitively academy because he wanted to be professional,
ates who cannot go to the best state supported functioning male or female high school student respected, and wanted. The i m a g e t h e y s o l d w a s
schools because of the high academic barriers if they needed a ‘job’. I was called by every so convincing that he signed the dotted line for
which restrict enrollment. The state gives gen- a free educa tion. When no one else cared about
erous scholarship support to the top 10% of his future, it seemed like the military provided
transfer and undergraduate applicants, but an altruistic guiding hand. The y p a i d f o r a l l o f
proportionally thin financial aid support to “The image they sold was so his expenses, gave him a stipe n d , g u a r a n t e e d
everyone else- at least in comparison to New him a good job – and it didn’t hurt that when he
York. convincing that he signed the was in uniform, women mobbed him like free
At the beginning of my junior year in Gucci merchandise.
high school, those who had few financial dotted line for a free education.“ His experience has a happy ending- his
r e s o u r c e s o r e x p e c t e d t o g r a d u a t e n e a r t h e b o t- grades were good enough to transfer into
tom half of their high-school class faced tough Montana’s top engineering school. But everyone
decisions: begin work immediately and try to doesn’t come back from military service with
climb their way up in the service industry, or branch of the military and was invited to join all the same good fortune – like my cousin’s ex-
ta ke out loans, attend a community college or a o f t h e m ilitary academies. My best friend boyfriend, who calmly and remorselessly
less reputable four-year institution, and hope joined the merchant marines, my chess club admitted to killing Iraqi women a n d ch il d r en –
for a job after graduation. nemesis was convinced by a recruiter that he or a friend who saw contracted prisons in
Then 9-11 happened. Some extremist h a d t h e “ perfect build” to be a pilot, and the Afghanistan worse than Abu Ghraib, and who
Muslims – most of them of Saudi background – National Guard gave “field trips” so students
flew planes into some buildings that most of my could check out local military facilities. Continued on page 9
Page 4 Current Events
What’s New With Iran?
By Alex Walsh
Iran seems to be in the news a lot. Government Shake-Up with the government’s encouragement of ethni-
Sometimes it can be hard to keep track of every- President Ahmadinejad is still dealing cally Persian Iranians to move in. The govern-
thing they’re doing over there. So here, just to with the formation of a government after he took ment says that the violence, involving bomb
keep you all up to date on this global attention office in August. He recently announced four blasts and several arrests, was instigated by
w h o r e , i s a q u i c k s u m- new appointees to the agents from the UK. British officials had
mary of recent events Ministries of Oil, accused Iran of supporting insurgents in
in Iran. Education, Co-operatives, Southern Iraq, where the UK has about 8,000
and Welfare and Social soldiers stationed. They said shaped charges
Bad News For Security after his original u s ed i n r e c e n t a t t a c k s w e r e d e v e l o p e d w i t h
Israel nominees to these positions technology and training from Iran’s
W h i l e a d d r e s s- were rejected. The most Revolutionary Guard or its allies in Hezbollah.
ing a conference enti- significant appointment Each side denies the other’s accusations. Most of
tled “World Without here is the head of the Oil Iran’s oil reserves are in Khuzestan.
Zionism”, Iranian Ministry, Sadeq Mahsuli, as
President Mahmoud Iran is the world’s fourth Nuclear Inspections
A h m a d i n e j a d t o l d s e v- largest producer of crude Inspectors from the International
eral thousand students oil. Mahsuli, a former Atomic Energy Agency have been allowed access
that the establishment Revolutionary Guard offi- to Iran’s Parchin military facility, which the US
of the state of Israel cer like the President, is says is suspicious. American officials say the
was an imperialist not well known and has no site was host to tests linked to nuclear weapons
action by the west experience in the energy development. The inspectors were allowed
against the Islamic industry. A board member access to the facility to do environmental tests.
world. He called for the of Iran’s National Oil Iran also granted access to documents and
Jewish state to be Company said “nobody in interviews with senior officials. T h i s i s s e e n a s
“wiped off the map”. the Parliament knows him a positive sign for negotiations over the coun-
This statement was met … presumably the amount try’s nuclear program, which it insists is
IT’S A GOOD THING WE OVERTHREW
w i t h w i d e s p r e a d c o n- of information that we have entirely peaceful. The IAEA had previously
IRANIAN DEMOCRACY BACK IN THE DAY
demnation from the about him is about as much threatened to refer Iran to th e U N S e c u r i t y
Courtesy of the memory hole
i n t e r n a t i o n a l c o m m u- as he knows about oil.” Council if its inspectors were not given com-
nity. Leaders of most Ahmadinejad also plete cooperation.
Eu r o p ean a n d Amer i can n at i o n s, as wel l as r e c a l l e d the Iranian ambassadors to the UK,
S e c r e t a r y G e n e r a l K o f i A n n a n o f t h e U N , France, Germany, and the UN in Geneva. These Good News For Poor People
expressed outrage at the call for violence senior diplomats were moderates associated Following up on his campaign promises
a g a i n s t I s r a e l . I s r a e l e v e n r e q u e s t e d I r a n ’ s with the old reformist regime of Mohammad to help Iran’s poor population, President
e x p u l s i o n f r o m t h e U n i t e d N a t i o n s . I r a n i a n Khatami. The recall is seen as a purge of offi- Ahmedinejad has announced a plan to offer
l e a d e r s d e f e n d e d t h e P r e s i d e n t ’ s r e m a r k s , cials out of line with the new conservative shares in government-owned companies to low-
while stressing that Iran had no plans to attack administration, and may signal a change in income families. The eligible investors, identi-
Israel. Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei strategy on negotiations over Iran’s nuclear fied by government economists, would have 20
assured the public: “We will not commit aggres- p r o g r a m . years to pay back the shares. This plan is
sion towards any nations”. Following the con- intended to decrease the wide gap between
troversy, Kofi Annan has delayed a planned trip A h w a z , R i o t C i t y Iran’s rich and poor populations. Despite the
to Iran, saying it was “not an appropriate time” Unrest has developed in the Iranian province nation’s lucrative oil industry, it is estimated
for such a visit. of Khuzestan, which borders Iraq. The that about 40% of the population lives below the
province’s largely Arab population is unhappy poverty line.

Our Ever Evolving Concept of Muslims


By Karen Shidlo
S i n c e S e p t e m b e r 1 1t h, M u s l i m s a n d Islamic communities, having had to deal with Undoubtedly, some French are reluctant
Islam have dominated the media, causing world- rioters s hooting at police and setting fire to to allow these minority groups to become part of
wide attention and fear. A ‘war on terrorism’ 1400 cars. The violence also erupted in the form their culture and lives and, equally, some
has resulted from the attack on the World Trade of firebombs being thrown at churches and Muslims are reluctant to make t h e c h a n g e s a n d
Center and Twin Towers, but this does not mean three schools, giving locals the impression of efforts necessary to become truly French. It is
that tension with Muslims has been limited with being in a war zone. hardly surprising that without work or hope of
Americans; Europe has recently borne witness I have lived in France too and saw, in my improving their standards of living, a good part
to violence, resulting in numerous casualties last year there, growing pressure between of the immigrants turn to religion for comfort
and deaths. immigrant, minority groups and white and to the French as scapegoats f o r t h e i r p r o b-
The London underground French; in public schools, it became lems. Unfortunately, the type o f r e l i g i o n t h e y
bombings were unexpected and illegal to wear anything that would are attracted to is the radical kind; leading to
unprecedented by any other forms distinguish one student from acts of organized violence, carried out by gangs.
of international terror attacks, a n o t h e r , b y s h o w i n g t h e i r r e l i- France, who is based on “ l i b e r t y , e q u a l-
shocking the nation. I have lived gious preference. This became ity, fraternity,” asks immigrants to discard
in London and always known it c o n t r o v e r s i a l , a s M u s l i m s t u- their roots and become French; though immi-
to be tolerant of all ethnicities, dents claimed that wearing grants are granted suburban areas in which to
similar to my experiences here h e a d d r e s s e s w a s a s i g n i f i- live, they have quickly become ghettos, real
in the United States of cant aspect of their religion symbols of the social and ethnic segregation
America, but since the attacks and that they should be free within French society.
in both countries, I have seen a to wear them if they chose. It is difficult not to discriminate against
shift in attitudes. The counter argument for this M u s li m s w h e n t h e i r r e p u t a t i o n i s a s s o c i a t e d
It seems that Muslims are objection to the law is that stu- with aggression and an impressive fearlessness
being approached more and more dents will treat each other with of death, martyrdom being a widely accepted,
w i t h a m i x t u r e o f f e a r , h a t r e d , h e s i t a- more equality due to the prejudice even encouraged, aspect of their religion.
t i o n a n d i n t o l e r a n c e . T h i s i s a d i r e c t c o n- of appearances being removed. However, it is important in a world where the
sequence of the images and words we see and T he fundamental cause of the criminal media is easily accessible and hence, has an
hear on television, internet, newspapers and networks being organized in France is the over- immense power to control our perception of the
magazines, all of which send out the message whelming sense of non-integration on the world, to not condemn an entire religion and it’s
that Westerners should be alert because of the Muslims part. Whether it is their fault or not is followers. We should keep an open mind and
unpredictability of the Arab world. a different matter, what counts is that they live onl y punish those who have committed crimes
France is the latest country to feel the in council estates, unemployed and living on the against the innocent, because violence only
effect of the dissatisfaction felt ubiquitously in financial aid they receive monthly from the gov- leads to more violence.
ernment.

Current Events Page 5


Editorial
Editorial Board
The Man Behind the Curtain
Rob Pearsall USG and Voter Turnout
Managing Editor
Jowy Romano
This past USG senate meeting was fairly produc- of the senate. Increasing the voter turnout should be
Associate Editor tive. The senators voted on quite a handful of proposed every USG official’s priority. If more people voted, the
Joan Leong legislation. The first of which was called the Coca-Cola candidates that are elected would be ev e n m o r e r e p r e-
Resolution, brought before the senate by the Social sentative of the voices of the student body. If more peo-
Business Manager Justice Alliance. The resolution, if ratified, states that ple voted, fewer senators would be elected solely
Melanie Donovan USG does not condone Coca-Cola’s crimes against union because of people they know. Increased voter turnout
activists in their factories abroad and also strongly would give USG the validation it really needs.
Production Manager urges the administration to find an alternative to the So, why did almost nobody support Voter
Michael Prazak
exclusive contract we have with Coca-Cola. This reso- Turnout Act? They do have some understandable con-
News Editors lution did indeed pass with overwhelming support from cerns. The act, as is, is sort of radical. 20% is a voter
Claudia Toloza the senate. turnout that hasn’t ever been achieved since USG was
David “Knockout” Ginn The next proposed legislation voted on by the started. Even with the intensive efforts of NYPIRG, last
senate was an act containing amendments to the senate’s year’s spring elections only saw a voter turnout of about
Features Editor r u l e s o f o r d e r . T h e a m e n d m e n t s t o u c h e d u p t h e i r c u r- 15%. Also, the act states that if 20% isn’t reached,
Nicole L Barry rent set rules of order. This also had the support of there will be elections hel d 2 weeks later. Currently,
most of the senators, passing with no problem .. the USG constitution sets the spring elections 2 weeks
Arts Editor One last bill was voted on before the meetings before the end of the school year. This means if there
Adina Silverbush e n d ; t h i s b i l l i s t h e V o t er Turnout Improvement Act. isn’t a 20% voter turnout there will no USG in the fall.
The act has two main points. Firstly, if less than 20% Students wouldn’t even be given a chance to realize that
Photo Editor
Matt Willemain of students vote in the USG elections, they are consid- they have to vote or they will lose club funding.
Vincent Michael Festa ered invalid. If 20% turnout isn’t achieved, there will Another aspect the act doesn’t address is clubs that can
end up being no governing body, which will lead to no be permanently harmed if they can’t get their budget,
Copy Editors d i s b u r s e m e n t o f t h e S t u d e n t A c t i v i t y F e e . T h i s i s s u p- like WUSB Radio who has subscription fees.
Stephanie Hayes posed to give students something they haven’t had Where did the percentage of 20 come from any-
Laura Positano before—a serious reason to vote. The second part of the way? What percentage of Stony Brook Students is actu-
Andrew Pernick act outlines another way of increasing the voter ally involved in clubs and organizations? What will
turnout—voting stations in high-traffic areas. Did the happen to the activity fee if the 20% is never achieved?
Web Master s e n a t o r s s u p p o r t t h i s r a d ical proposal? No. In fact the These are all questions that have to be answered before
Chris Williams
only senators that voted for it were Amy Wisnoski and an act like this is proposed again. On the other hand,
Ombudsman Igor Levenberg, the two that proposed the act. the act does have some very good i deas and goals that we
Amberly Timperio Wisnoski and Levenberg have good ideas and hope to see in future legislation.
good intentions that were not received well by the rest
Minister of Archives
Joe Rios

Distribution Manager
Joe Filippazzo
Staff
INDEX
Jacquie Bachman Irv Novoa
Melissa Bernardez
James Blonde
John O’Dell
Rachel Eagle Reiter
!"### More Troops Dead Page %
Philip Camacho
Sarah Cassone
Kristine Renigan
Justin Rowe Anti$Bush Rally! Page !&
Tom Clark Tiffany Russo
Juliet DiFrenza
Joe Donato
“Joey Batz”
Safdia
Reviews! Pages
Mike “Bublz” Fabbri
Rob Gilheany
Madeline Scheckter
Natalie Schultz !% $ &&
Sam Goldman Tom Senkus
Tara Lynn Groth
Paula Guy
Karen Shidlo
Christine Tanaka
Sports! Page &'
Jackie Hayes
Trevor Hirst
Lena Tumasyan
Marcel Votlucka Top Ten! Next Issue!
Olga Kaplun Alex Walsh
Adam Kearney
Yve Koon
Brian Wasser
Meri Wayne
SBU$TV Page! Page &(
“The Count” LeComte
Antony Lin
Ricky Whitcomb
Brian Wong Ask Amberly Jane! Page &)
John Mascher Jessica Worthington
James Messina
Jamie Mignone
Ed Zadorozny Sex and the Brook! Page '#
Ali Nazir
Mike Nevradakis AA$EZine Page '!
Jason Ng

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Page 6 Editorials
Co m p iled By Cla u d ia To lo za & Ro b Pea r sa ll
U.N. Becoming Stricter in its Zero Tolerance sleeping. The powerful tornado was reported to have winds at more than
Policy 1 50mph. The tornado has been classified as an F3 on the Fujita Scale,
A U.N. official was sentenced to 3 years in jail by which ranges form and F0 to and F5, F5 being the strongest. This torna-
a court in Kosovo. The official was found guilty of sexual do marks yet another natural disaster that has hit the United States this
misconduct with a minor. This sentencing comes at cru- year along with the series of strong hurricanes which have caused a lot of
cial time for the United Nations, which recently faced damage.
criticism after a report released by Refugees
International, a follow up report to Prince Zeid Raad al-Hussein’s report.
In his report , Prince Zeid Raad al-Hussein accused U.N. peacekeepers of 2005 New York City Marathon
sexual misconduct in exchange for aid in the Congo. This sentencing Today in the ING New York City marathon, the race
shows that the U.N. is trying to enforce its zero tolerance policy which for the finish line for the m en came down to the last sec-
was criticized by Refugees International as not being strict enough. ond. The winner of the marathon came to Paul Tergat from
Kenya. He was able to defeat last year’s winner, Hendrick
Violent Riots in France Ramaala from South Africa, by fractions of a second. The
Over the past week, numerous violent riots have winner for the women was Jelena Prokopcuka from
overtaken the city of Paris. The series of riots arose from Latvia. This proved to be an important win for
the deaths of two Parisian youths who were fleeing from Prokopcuka, who received a $160,000 prize. This
the police and died when they were electrocuted. The is the first time in the marathon’s history in
teenagers ran away and hid near a transformer and were which the women receive a bigger prize than the
accidentally electrocuted. This incident enraged many men.
m i n o r i t y g r o u p s w h o l a s h e d o u t i n a n g e r o v e r t h e i r f r u s-
tration over issues such as racism, police treatment, and unemployment.
Rioters have created a state of chaos and have caused much destruction;
it is estimated that more than 1000 cars have been set on fire. These NYPIRG: Tireless...Tonic Salesmen?
series of riots has hurt France’s image in the international arena since Kate Contino from NYPIRG was at the
its shows a lack of control of the French government. This incident also Student Activites Center last Wednesday in full
d e m o n s t r a t e s t h e l a c k o f a t t e n t i o n b e i n g p a i d b y t h e F r e n c h government sleazy salesman garb. She was acting out the
to resolving issues dealing with immigration. part of the state in their newest bill to get your
dollars for their work. The Higher
Anti-Bush Protest in Argentina Education Plan for Guaranteed
On his recent trip to Argentina, President Bush Tuition Hikes would increase
was received with a series of Anti-Bush protests. tuition for incoming freshmen
President Bush visited the Mar de la Plata region of e v e r y year. The increase would
Argentina in order to attend the fourth Summit of be tied to the Comsumer Price
the Americas to mainly discuss, among other Index. Students can
things, the Free Trade Area of the Americas hardly afford
(F.T.A.A.) trade accord. One of the biggest Anti- tuition as it is and
Bush protestors was Hugo Chavéz, President of Venezuela. Chavéz T A P r e m a i n i n g s t a-
who has mad it clear that he is not a fan of President Bush and his tionary. NYPIRG has
policies, especially the F.T.A.A., and has organized a huge rally been spearheading
with 25,000 people in an stadium in Argentina. The series of the effort and
rallies that occurred during the summit this past weekend at opposing the hike
times turned violent and led to many arrests. This incident ever since there was
comes at difficult time for President Bush who is facing low the a n n o u n c e m e n t o f
approval ratings in the United States and is obviously not well p u b l i c s e n a t e h e a r-
received in Latin America as well. ings on October 6th.

Tornado Hits Indiana and Kentucky


On Sunday, a tornado struck part of
Indiana and Kentucky. So far, 22 people are
reported dead and there have been at least 200
hundred injuries. The tornado caught everyone
b y s u r p r i s e b e c a u s e i t o c c u r r e d d u r i n g t h e m i d-
dle of night, around 2a.m., when most people were

20
News In Brief Page 7
...Because Jack Thompson Won’t
By Joey Safdia
Jack Thompson. A man you would think Despite being an avid G r a n d T h e f t A u t o kids around the world and donating to charities
t h a t t h r o u g h a l l h i s b i g t a l k a n d h i s a l l e g e d c o n- fan, even I must say that this game is pretty with the s ame goal. They would be helping to put
cern for our nation’s children that he would t a s t e l e s s , though not harmful to society or t a x d o l l a r s i n t o e d u c a t i o n r a t h e r t h a n w a r , i d e-
care enough about these children to donate America’s youth in any way. ally making American schools not something to
$10,000 to charity, a donation he promised to But that’s not all. He claimed that if be embarrassed about. They would be fighting to
make. You would think he would care, wouldn’t someone were to answer his challe nge and cre- end wars that take the lives of children around
you? ate this video game, he would donate $10,000 to the world, along with the lives of the mothers
Now this may seem like a very strong the charity of that person’s choice. With all that and fathers of children in this country. But
allegation if you don’t know what’s going on in consideration, one could only imagine how they’re not. They are fighting against an enter-
(after all, I care about the children but I’m not livid he was when someone actually d i d t a k e tainment industry which has been proven more
d o n a ti n g $ 1 0 , 0 0 0 t o c h a r i t y ) s o l e t ’ s s t a r t t h i s him up on his offer and create the M o d e s t often than not to have no link with kids commit-
story at the top. Jack Thompson is a Florida Proposal game. ting violent acts. Their only weapons are wild
lawyer who has embarked on a campaign against T h es e a nt i -game act i vi s t s excl ai m left accusations against the gaming industry and
violence in video games. He denounced violent and right that their purpose of trying to get community (such as Thompson’s claim that the
“ m u r d e r s i m u l a t o r s ” s u c h a s Grand Theft Auto: v i d e o g a mes banned in this country is to protect video game community has “little frontal lobe
San Andreas and has led a lawsuit against the children, so you would think that after activity”), and incoherent “log i c ” j u s t b a r e l y
Rockstar Games, the creators of the aforemen- Modest Proposal was created, Thompson would linking games to murder. It is this that shows us
tioned game, claiming that it was the game that have upheld his end of the deal and donated the sorry state our society is in. Sure every
led 18 year old Devin Moore to murder three $10,000 to charity to help underprivileged country has the proverbial bad apples that spoil
police officers in 2003 (even though part of his children. Wrong. Thompson retracted the offer the bunch, for example depraved and psychotic
defense was that his childhood was full of men- when his idea for a game became a reality, murderers like Devin Moore, but one would
tal and physical abuse). In light of the contro- claiming the whole thing to be a joke and a t h i n k t h a t i n s t e a d o f p o i n t i n g f i n g e r s a n d c a s t-
v e r s y a r o u n d Grand Theft Auto’s “Hot Coffee” satire, though he originally stated that, “The i n g b l a m e a t a n y t h i n g t h a t i s n ’ t r e m o t e l y p o l i t-
mod, which featured your character having sex, o f f e r o f $ 10,000 is real”. ically correct, steps would be taken to ensure
he challenged anyone to make a video game Mike “Gabe” Krahulik, one of the co-cre- that these types of crimes don’t ever happen
w h i c h h e c a l l e d Modest Proposal, a pun on ators of the online comic P e n n y A r c a d e, d e c i d- again. But this won’t happen. While politicians,
Jonathan Swift’s famed satirical essay “A ed to step in at his point, e-mailing Thompson lawyers, and “concerned parents” bicker
Modest Proposal.” and informing him that he believed Thompson’s amongst themselves about what to do with these
The concept of the anti-violent video offer to donate $10,000 was pretty small com- violent video games, someone will go out and
game lawyer’s violent video game is to go around pared to the game-based comic’s donation of shoot schoolchildren and police officers for
killing video game executives. You play as Osaki over $500,000 in its charity event, “Child’s completely unrelated reasons while using video
Kim, a man whose son was killed by a 14 year Play”. Thompson’s response was to threaten to games as their defense. The problem with our
old video game fanatic wielding a baseball bat. sue if Gabe e-mailed him again. As a result, society is not what video games our children
To avenge his son’s death, Kim embarks on a Penny Arcade sent a $10,000 check to the play, it’s what we do, or rather don’t do, to
quest to kill the creators of the games, the exec- Entertainm ent Software Association Foundation address the problems that arise when the bad
utives of the companies, the lawyers who with the words, “For Jack Thompson, because apples begin to spoil the bunch.
defended Rockstar and Take Two Interactive, the Jack Thompson won’t” written on the bottom. Now that I’ve got all that out of the way,
store managers and cashiers of the stores that This goes to show who is really looking I’m going to go play some Grand Theft Auto: San
sell the games, video arcades, everyone at the out for the people and who just wants to drag A n d r e a s, and to top it all off, I won’t go out
Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3), and the others to the dirt. If Jack Thompson and other afterwards and shoot cops! Shocking, isn’t it,
family members of most of the already previ- anti-game activists really cared about children Jack?
ously mentioned victims. so much, they would be helping less fortunate

Page 8 Current Events


Montana... Continued
By Michael Doggett
Continued from page 4
s a m e e m i s s i o n s t a n d a r d s a n d d e v e l o p e d e f f i- a new version of war that could last well into the
also told me that most of his “engagements with cient processes to convert biomaterials into 2 1s t century.
t h e e n e m y ” w e r e t h e r e s u l t o f c u l t u r a l / l i n g u i s- gasoline (gasp…self In a country
tic barriers, and admitted to using military- sufficiency?). that is paying for itself
provided drugs that kept him awake for more The war in on credit with an eco-
than 48 hours while his company campaigned in Iraq shows no sign of nomic climate that has
Afghanistan with no apparent purpose (alas, ending any time soon, brought incredible
they had no loudspeakers blasting Wagner). He despite contentions benefits to the richest
was lucky enough to get out of Afghanistan a that the insurgency in society, it is only
week before stop-loss orders were issued. As i s i n i t s f i n a l ga s p . right that if politicians
for my other friends who are still in the field, I On November 2nd, really support the
haven’t been able to get much out of them Robert Reid of the AP troops, they should
because there are strict limits on what they can reported that October raise taxes on those who
tell me. was the deadliest for can afford to help them
It is possible to make modern war into American troops readjust to peaceful
something that it isn’t, instead of admitting that since January. When society. The military
it’s a draining, destructive depletion of human the troops that are in should be used to
and material capital. If a society doesn’t com- Iraq come back and r e b u i l d a r e a s d e v a s t a t-
mit to the costs of war before they fight, they are replaced by in ed by hurricanes, fight
end up in financial and political ruin. As Tim the field by fresh a pre-emptive strike
O’Brien writes in The Things They Carried, “ w a r bodies, over 150,000 a g a i n s t a b i r d - f l u p a n-
was like a Ping-Pong ball. You could put a fancy people will need demic that President
spin on it, you could make it dance.” long-term, military- B u s h h a s a l l o c a t e d b i l-
There’s nothing productive about con- p r o v i d e d p s y c h o l o g i- lions of d o l l a r s f o r , a n d
flict itself. Maybe after this war our oil prices cal and economic help local communities.
will be a little lower, but probably not. Iraq assistance. Cash- Disciplined soldiers
will likely join OPEC and make as much money s t r a p p e d V A h o s p i- should serve practical
as they can. If we really wanted to do something tals have long lists of humanitarian purposes
about our oil problem, we could have required needy veterans and in the United States. We
companies to make more efficient machines, and few resources to deal sure could have used
spent the billions of dollars allocated for the w i t h t h r e e g e n e r a- them about a month ago.
war on subsidizing the transition, or kept the tions of soldiers and

Rosa Parks: Unplanned Hero...


Dies After a Fulfilling Life
By Adina Silverbush
Rosa Parks is known for her act of civil o n e w h o had put her off a bus 12 years earlier brought into all areas of living.
disobedience in 1955, when she refused to give for refusing to get off and re-board through the Rosa Parks died of natural causes on
up her seat to a white man and go to the back of back door. (“He was still mean-looking,” she has Monday Oct 25th 2005. She suffered the last
a public bus despite segregation laws. To some, said.) Why had she picked this day? Was it the three years with Dementia. She became the first
this may seem simple but it helped create a b u s d r i v e r who made her angry? Or maybe all women to ever be honored by lying in state in
great movement towards civil rights. She was an the work she’d been the Capitol
i n s p i r a t i o n a n d l e d t h e w a y f o r i m p o r t a n t l e a d- doing in the Rotunda. She is
ers such as Martin Luther King Jr. NAACP. She had also being hon-
Despite what some may think, Parks was learned what to do — ored by the
n o t t h e fi r s t t o b e a r r e s t e d f o r n o t a d h e r i n g t o o r m o r e s p e c i f i c a l- D e t r o i t
transportation racial laws. Eight months before ly, what not to do: Department of
Parks, Claudette Colvin, who was only 15, “Don’t frown, don’t Transportation
refused to give up her seat and was detained. struggle, don’t w i t h a n e w t r a n-
Black activists from the NAACP, an organization shout, don’t pay the sit center named
for which Rosa Parks was a secretary, were fine.” Rosa Parks after her that
upset about this but felt the young girl would said “I didn’t get on will cost $15
not be able to undergo the whole court and press that bus to get m i l l i o n .
proceedings that would come with fighting the arrested, I got on However, our
case. A few months after Claudette, another the bus to get President didn’t
woman named Mary Louise Smith again was home”. do the best job
arrested for the same offence, yet the NAACP Civil Rights honoring her
still felt she wouldn’t be able to deal with all leaders finally because in his
the scrutiny so she paid the fine and was f o u n d t h e i r “ m o t h- speech about
released. er” to lead them in her, after her
It was only six weeks later, when Rosa t h e i r f i g h t , s o m e- death he missed
Parks would commit the same act but the one who would be pronounced her
NAACP would back her up and the fight would able to stand the name calling her
begin. On Dec. 1, 1955, black people had were scrutiny. Parks “Rosa Park”.
not allowed to sit in the first four rows, and even was perfect, an Rosa Parks is a
if they were in the “colored section” of the bus, older women in heroic symbol,
i f a wh i t e p e r s o n w a n t e d t h e i r s e a t t h e y h a d t o with a decent job she was fearless
move further back or stand. If you were black a n d a s e c u r e m a r- and showed this
you had to pay at the front door then get off and riage, as well as world, no matter
re-enter through the back door. Rosa Parks being of highest how corny it may
worked as a seamstress. She had a normal day morals and politically-inclined. Her arrest sound, that one person can make a difference.
of work and boarded the Cleveland Avenue bus gave way to Martin Luther King Jr. leading a Thankfully for Parks she lived a long life where
like she did every day no more tire d then usual. 380-day bus boycott which ended with the U.S she was able, unlike Martin Luth e r K i n g J r . a n d
She took a seat in the fifth row — the first row of Supreme Court decision to desegregate public Malcolm X, to see the success of her civil rights
the “Colored Section.” The driver was the same transportation. This leap for equal rights was struggle.

Current Events Page 9


A Question of a Functioning Democracy
By Miguel Sanchez
Not long ago, I met a few veterans who c o u l d n o t b e d i s c u s s e d p u b l i c l y w i t h o u t s e v e r e w i l l b e l a u n c h e d si m u l t a n e o u s l y b y u s a s a
testified to an audience of people of their expe- b a c k l a s h e s a n d r e p r e s s i o n s , b u t t o d a y t h a t h a s r e a c t i o n t o t h a t l a u n c h , u n l e a s h i n g a c h a i n r e a c-
riences in Vietnam. They were not seeking adu- changed. With advances in science and technol- tion that could wipe out the species for good.
lation or acclaim; rather, in my view, they ogy, individuals can now have access to alterna- Officially, two years ago, the U.S. and Russia
sought to make amends for what happened in tive information away from the private, state- withdrew from the non-proliferation treaty,
V i e t n a m . I t i s m y o p i n i o n t h a t t h e p u b l i c i l l - controlled media outlets. But issues of a much making it more possible that s u c h a n e v e n t
t r e a t e d t h e s e v e t e r a n s a f t e r V i e t n a m , t h a t t h e y larger sort have to be taken into account regard- might occur, as Russia as well has proposed to
s h o u l d h a v e b e e n b e t t e r t r e a t e d f o r t h e i r s a c r i- ing science and technology. Right now, funding m o d e r n i z e i t s n u c l e a r t e c h n o l o g y o n h e a d t r i g-
fice and commitment for what they felt at first f o r m i l i t a r y p r o j e c t s h a v e s k y r o c k e t e d , i n c l u d- ger alert. But under the Clinton
to be defending the home- Administration, to
land from a much larger the now current
evil than themselves. B u s h
Their experiences, though, Administration,
were of a different sort, United Nations
and they wanted to make weapons inspectors
that public. They were were forbidden
fully aware, as they claim, from entering
that the crimes committed A m e r i c a n p h a r m a-
i n V i e t n a m w e r e w i d e- ceutical companies
spread, not isolated, and that had contracts
t h a t i n f a c t t h e y w e r e m i s- with AMRID
lead by the government [American Research
they swore to serve as to Center for
the true intentions of the I n f e c t i o u s
w a r . T h e i r a d m i t t a n c e p e r- Diseases]. This
haps angered a few on the sparked what would
far right, but, in my view, be a trend of events
t h e y m a d e a g r e a t e r s a c r i- that would lead to
fice against so-called where we are today
patriotism and love for with rogue states
k i n g a n d c o u n t r y t o b e t t e r THE PEOPLE SPEAK OUT IN THRONGS, seeing no other way
e x p l a i n t o a l a r g e l y c o n- Courtesy of Miguel Sanchez to deter a possible
temporary public, only of U.S. l e a d i n v a s i o n
what they’ve experience than by W.M.D.’s
a n d u n d e r s t o o d t o b e t h e t r u t h o f t h e m a t t e r . ing black projects, projects for which even some [we apons of ma s s des t ruc t i on] a n d t e r r o r i s t s
Today, more than 2000 soldiers have been policy makers don’t have access to. The most finding no other way to counter U.S. military
killed and many more wounded, many of them obvious is the Star Wars program which STRAT- reactions than to attack civilians only and non-
l e a v i n g b e h i n d f a m i l i e s a n d f r i e n d s d e v a s t a t e d COM [Strategic Command] claims is to defend m i l i t a r y t a r g e t s . T h e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y o f i n t e l-
by their loss, and an unwavering political against an impending nuclear attack from a lectuals today is far greater than ever before
e s t a b l i s h m e n t t h a t r e f u s e s t o s e e t h e l i g h t o f rogue state or terrorists. But Star Wars is not a because we now exist in a world where the
reason and sanity. We face, in the words of a d e f e n s i v e m e a s u r e , a s m o s t f o r e i g n p o l i c y stakes are much higher. But intellectuals have
fellow activist, the prospects of a “failing comprised a small sector of the ruling elite’s,
empire”, as he explained to a soldier while they are the Harvard or Princeton educated
being interrogated for protesting the records of class, the financial giants and beneficiaries, the
atrocities and crimes committed by graduates of m e d i a a n d j o u r n a l s w h i c h o f t e n s u p p o r t t h e l i b-
the School of the Americas. For anyone with a eral state (by ‘liberal’, one means the growing
good Jewish education, the word unpatriotic view that the public should be excluded from
comes from the Bible in the Book of Kings, when participating in a democracy, a tradition that
the prophet Elijah was labeled an anti-Israeli dates back to Hobbes, Locke, Keynes, and even
for criticizing the policies of King Ahab, for his Strauss. Which is why our system of govern-
lust for war and ill-treatment of his own people. m e n t i s n o t d e m o c r a t i c a t a l l r a t h e r i t ’ s p l u r a l-
For example, to be anti-American is often con- istic if you want to be serious about it, meaning
fused with criticizing the policies of the United that we participate every giving y e a r s b y e l e c t-
States government with the culture of the peo- ing those who will decide policy and after that
ple. Another example is to be labeled an anti- we move on with our lives without much caring
Zionist for what’s thought to be criticizing the for what they do next. Established by
culture and people of Israel and not its policies, Alexander Hamilton in the United St at es t o p r o-
policies which have lead to the death of thou- tect the wealth of the establishment in his
sands of innocent Palestinians in the occupied Federalist Papers). In their jou r n a l s t h e y o f t e n
territories. As you’ve come to salute the flag, repeat the same state sponsored motto’s as
who are you saluting, your government and its before, “when you’re leader saids something is
policies or the people and its culture? Who are true, it must be true” and “when the state beats
t h e t r u e a r b i t e r s o f s t a t e ? I s i t t h e p o l i c y m a k- the war drums, you must hear the c a l l i n g ” ( o f t e n
e r s , t h e e s t a b l i s h m e n t , o r t h e p e o p l e t he m- called logical illogicality). These are the
selves? There has always been resentment for p h r a s e s o f t h e r i g h t o r t h e s t a t e - c o r p o r a t e s e c-
public participation in the political arena for tor, for which the intellectual elite remains
which they have been largely excluded and the s u b s e r v i e n t t o , o m i n o u s a t b e s t b u t q u i t e s t r i k-
economic arena from which they are excluded in ing as it gives a profound picture that the claim
principle. That resentment springs from the that universities are left is fundamentally
fear that the public, if not tamed and not driven w r o n g , t h e p r i v a t e u n i v e r s i t ie s , i n p a r t i c u l a r
back to its cage where it belongs, will take it ARE YOU MY DADDY? the state universities have remained obedient to
upon itself to make decisions for the policy Courtesy of Miguel Sanchez the state-corporate sector, since its highly
makers. The establishment has always made it dependent on it for funding and research grants
out to be that the 1960’s were a terrible time experts around the world understand it t o be; it (the American Academy of Arts and Sciences,
but in fact it was quite the opposite. It was a has an offensive capacity. Star Wars is not only Department of Energy, National Science
time when the public was fully aware of its a shield, it is also a weapon like a sword. Many Foundation, and even the British Royal Society
“class consciousness” and sought to participate military experts have also claimed that with the of London, all state-corporate sponsored organ-
in the political and economic arena. It was the n e w h e a d t r i g g e r a l e r t s y s t e m p u t i n p l a c e , t h e i z a t i o n s , l a r g e l y e x c l u d i n g t h e p u b l i c f r o m p a r-
beginning for the basis of a functioning democ- p r o b a b i l i t y f o r a c c i d e n t a l n u c l e a r l a u n c h i s ticipating in its discussions with the policy
r a c y , f o r w h i c h t o d a y i t i s l a r g e l y t a k e n f o r much higher than ever before. Meaning that if makers). Hence the intellectual class continues
g r a n t e d o n b o t h s i d e s , D e m o c r a t s a n d R u s s i a a c c i d e n t a l l y l a u n c h e d o n e n u c l e a r m i s-
Republicans. Yesterday, issues of these topics s i l e t o t h e U n i t e d S t a t e s , 5 0 n u c l e a r m i s s i l e s Continued on next page
Page 10 Current Events
...Functioning Democracy Continued...
By Miguel Sanchez
Continued from previous page it is the “vanguard of history, transforming the
g l o b a l o r der and, in doing so, perpetuating its
sciousness, like the anti-war movement, that
could unite the general public for socioeconom-
to remain out of touch with the traditions of own dominance.” But to accept any of this, we ic reform. These groups, if better equipped, can
scholarly openness, remaining distant from the must accept the stance of “intentional igno- modernize and unite the left and bring some
p u b l i c a t a l l t i m e s a n d k e e p i n g t h e m s e l v e s o b e- r a n c e ” a s stated by a well-known critic of the light into the severe despondenc y o f t h e p u b l i c .
dient to the establishment. But the American worst atrocities in Central America in the If we look at Haiti and Aristide’s rise to power
people (the left) in general don’t agree with a f t e r m a s s i v e p o l i t i c a l p a r t i c i p a t i o n b y t h e p e o-
these assertions. Overwhelmingly, in a Chicago ple of Haiti to get him elected (an example of
Council of Foreign Relations study, the bottom up, participatory democracy), we realize
A m e r i c a n p e o p l e d o s u p p o r t a d h e r e n c e t o i n t e r- that through hard work against repression and
national law, compliance with the World Court, terror, perseverance is viable. The lessons to
giving up the U.N. veto if necessary, and only the Southern nations throughout the third world
going to war if enough evidence is presented. is that even in the most terrible circumstances,
T h i s c o n t r a d i c t s m a n y o f y o u r l e a d e r ’ s s t a t e- a growing functioning democratic society is
ments, like [Former Secretary of State] Colin pos s i bl e agai ns t any form of r e p r e s s i o n , f o r
Powell stating that they have “won a mandate which the U.S. has long sponsored and support-
from the people to pursue its [aggressive] for- ed to keep the third world at bay for economic
eign policy.” In a gallop poll taken late last exploitation under the cover of globalization, an
year, Americans were asked what was the most exploitative method meant to deregulate the for-
urgent moral crisis facing the United States, eign financial markets and which leads
“when voters were asked to choose the most overnight to economic collapse. As a conse-
u r g e n t m o r a l c r i s i s f a c i n g t h e c o u n t r y , 3 3 p e r- q u e n c e , i t i m p o s e s s t r u c t u r a l a d j u s t m e n t i n i-
cent cited ‘greed and materialism,’ 31 percent tiatives which disrupt the democratic structure
selected ‘poverty and economic justice,’ 16 per- of these countries, privatizing the public sector
cent named abortion, and 12 percent selected (schools, health-care, and social security),
gay marriage.” In others, “when surveyed, vot- el i mi nat i ng c or pora t e t axat i on , a n d l o w e r i n g
ers were asked to list the moral issue that most the wages of workers (in a sense destroying any
affected their vote, the Iraq war placed first at remnant of capitalist democracy in the essential
42 percent, while 13 percent named abortion political and economic sector). In many ways,
and 9 percent named gay marriage.” A clear globalization has always been a weapon against
indication of how the people are far to the left to socialist nationalism, a weapon that has hit us
t h e i n t e l l e c t u a l e l i t e s , w h i c h r e m a i n v e r y d i s- h a r d h e r e a t h o m e , w i t h t r a d e u n i o n s a n d w o r k-
t a n t f r o m t h e p u b l i c . I n o t h e r w o r d s , t h e p u b- ers unions continually outcast as communist
lic holds these views in mere isolation, keeping fronts by the right and wages at its lowest since
it to themselves, and not capable of the form of the Reagan era, if we take into account inflation.
organization necessary to make their views THE CROWD MASSED AND FILLED THE STREET, But resistance against globalization is growing
stand out. The intellectual elite have gone as far Courtesy of Miguel Sanchez with nations choosing instead to implement its
as to suggest the Wilsonian Idealism, such that own economic policies and to disregard the
1980’s. Adopting such a policies of th e G8. Growing anger and frustra-
stance, we can cover up the tion against the repressive characteristics of
messes and the inevitable globalization and the United States continual
flaws that accompany the need to interfere with the affairs of foreign
best of intentions. Writing nations to offset the possibility of capitalist
in the elite newspaper, the democracy, may as well only marginalize the
New York Times Op-Ed establishment and financial beneficiaries. Such
columnist Paul Krugman a global revolution may revitalized the social
states: “In that context, it’s struggle movement in the United States, as one
worth noting two more poll by one the global financial mark e t s c o l l a p s e a n d
results: in one taken before are reabsorbed into the public sphere. Such a
the recent resurgence of possibility is so real that the establishment has
violence in Iraq, and the begun making slight changes to its policies, a
a d m i n i s t r a t i o n ’ s a n n o u n c e- move that the social struggle movement can earn
ment that it needs yet some credit for, for years of hard work and per-
a n o t h e r $ 8 0 b i l l i o n , 5 3 p e r- severance. A good sign that bottom up partici-
cent of Americans said that patory democracy is working. The question of
the Iraq war wasn’t worth it. Iraq is not so obvious, but most top retired mil-
And 50 percent say that ‘the itary personnel indicate that the region has
administration deliberately slipped into civil war and the o n l y way t o su p-
misled the public about port the troops is not to put them in harms way
whether Iraq has weapons of anymore. Our continual presence in Iraq is
mass destruction.’” only facilitating more terrorist attacks as the
If the left should gather region has become a breeding ground for more
any consistency that could insurgents. Most likely the region will
bring liberalism back in inevitable break up, with the Kurds taking the
line with the principles of North, the Shiites and Sunnis splitting the other
democratic rule, then they half, with Iran taking a leading r o le i n e st ab-
must find unique methods lishing stability in the region. Reality in many
for reorganization and com- ways bites, but so far American and British
munication with the public. intelligence have supported these claims that
In Reclaiming the many of the foreign policy experts (many of
Enlightenment by Stephen them with respectable military backgrounds)
Eric Bronner of Rutgers have claimed. The veterans that I’ve met signi-
University, he writes that fy a good course in the relationship between
“class interest” must be democracy and the public. One can only hope
taken into account to reform that we honor the soldiers of the current war by
the left. What that means is bringing some level of a functioning democracy
that new novel methods of here in the United States, where the people do
r e p r e s e n t a t i o n m u s t b e c o n- have a say in policy. Their sacrifices will not
s i d e r e d , f o r e x a m p l e c o n- be in vain or loss, it can be won by us if we per-
sidering less popular severe and let loose the giant beast from its
groups who are not part of cage, for which now it is not a matter of if but
t h e m a i n s t r e a m p u b l i c c o n- when.

Current Events Page 11


The World Can’t Wait...and Neither Can You!
Anti-Bush Rally Takes NYC by Storm
By Marcel Votlucka
November 2, 2005. Had you emerged free society, and NYC’s youth made themselves An imperative drumbeat and a funky
from the Union Square subway station around heard and validated themselves in the face of (and catchy) electric guitar riff started to
noon on that day, you’d have been greeted by a n e o c o n f a scists killing thousands of youth not accompany the chant, as the march to Times
blast of chilly air, the cacophony of car horns, unlike them…and in their name no less. Despite Square began. I wandered through the sea of
bursts of music and chanting, and the truth. his voice being an audio recording, the youth in p e o p l e m a r c h i n g d o w n 1 4t h S t r e e t t o w a r d
“Thousands of people have been killed in Iraq.” the audience appreciated his words as if he were Eighth Avenue, immersing myself in the scene.
“Bush is trying to put neocon fascists on the physically present in the square. The a i r w as t hi c k wi t h t he acri d s t e n c h o f d i e s e l
Supreme Court.” “The White House lied to us exhaust and burning rubber, courtesy of our
about the war and terrorism.” escort of several police vans and motorcycles. I
I also received the dubious pleasure of c o u l d n ’ t h e l p w o n d e r i n g i f , u n d e r d i f f e r e n t c i r-
being greeted by a police van blocking my path cumstances, the police might’ve joined our
as I tried to cross the street. And then there march. Imagining ordinary folks and the cops
was the gaggle of pro-Bush protesters I passed rebelling against their piggish masters gave me
on my way into Union Square. They hoisted the h o p e t h a t m a y b e 1 9 8 4 w i l l i n d e e d r e m a i n f i c-
Star Spangled Banner arrogantly, as if America tional and not prophetic.
was their God-given country alone. One of their And yet…I was not at all surprised by
signs clearly articulated their opinion of us: the embarrassing lack of media coverage of the
“HIPPIES GO HOME!” rally and march. Aside from Jeremy Scahill
In the interest of fairness, there was one and a lone reporter interview i n g s o m e h i gh
hippie-ish dude (complete with long shaggy school students, the media failed to represent
hair) who gave off the competing odors of reefer itself. Even in this overwhelmingly Democratic
and incense as he paraded around with a placid city—and days before a mayoral election to boot—
grin on his face handing out flyers. But aside an anti-Republican protest such as this merited
from him, what met my eyes was a mostly young, little attention. Despite polls showing that 60
average, middle class, n o r m a l crowd. An aston- percent of Americans finally realize Bush is an
ishing number of high school kids populated i n c o m p e t e n t c l o w n , a n a n t i - B u s h p r o t e s t p r o-
Union Square that afternoon, along with the voked hardly a whisper. Although two-thirds of
usual contingent of college kids, w orking stiffs, the country has come to o ppose Bush’s insane
and veteran activists. The kids impressed me campaign of mass murder in I r a q , a n a n t i w a r
with their sheer presence, and the speakers ONE COP TWO COP RED COP BLUE COP, p r o t e s t i n t h e m i d d l e o f l i b e r a l M a n h a t t a n g a r-
never failed to praise them. They were so full of Courtesy of fred askew at nyc.indmedia.org nered hardly a glance. Ludicrous. Pitiful.
energy, so full of hope and idealism, so highly Shameful. Even when a majority of the populace
informed about the world around them, so noble Next, an imam took the stage and revved a g r e e s w i t h t h e p o s i t i o n s t a k e n b y t h e p r o t e s t-
in performing their civic duty of dissent… up the crowd with enlightening words of soli- e r s , t h e d a m n p r o t e s t i t s e l f w a s s t i l l too contro-
Nah, we were all just a bunch of pissed darity and struggle. He spoke of the prophet versial and real for the country to handle.
off New Yorkers who wanted that bumbling Mohammed’s three ways to address evil. “He Hey, is that an elephan t i n t h e l i v i n g
usurper out of the White House and had skipped said, if you can’t change things by your own room?!
school or work to raise our collective voices hand, speak out against it, and if you can’t speak So this begs the q uestion: are these
against him. That, and to hoist cool signs. out for whatever reason, hate it in your heart! protests and marches and demonstrations worth
“War on Terror? War IS Terror!” But all of us here today are set on one thing; we it anymore? After all, most people don’t go to
“The Shrub needs a trimmin’!” hate this state of things, we’re gonna speak protests, and few seem to notice them in the
“George Orwell was off by 21 years!” out…and we’re gonna c h a n g e i t!” The crowd ate mainstream media. The public has grown to
Amid an image of a sinking ship: it up, feeding off the raw conviction in his voice. despise Bush, his cabal, and his imperialistic
“What’s the plan?” More truth assailed out ears as wars just by seeing the death toll rise daily, by
Indeed, how fitting that there were so Democracy Now! p r o d u c e r J e r e m y S c a h i l l t o o k seeing the ruling cabal implode d u e t o s c a n d a l s ,
many young people at this gathering—her voice the stage. Instinctively, I wandered closer to a n d b y s e e i n g t h e I r a q i r e b e l s k i c k o u r m i l i-
cracking with grief, one of the speakers the stage—Scahill is, after all, one of the few t a r y ’ s a s s e s a ll o v e r t h e c o u n t r y . P r o t e s t s t h a t
informed us that the average age of a soldier remaining real journalists in this country. He go unseen on TV can’t sway any minds, so why
killed in Iraq is 21 years. I’m sure many of you talked at length about Blackwater Securities do it?
I n c . , a p r i v a t e s e c u r i t y f i r m ( r e a d : m e r c e n a r-
ies) working at the behest of the US Government.
Theirs is a story of cronyism and murder for
“[T]he average age of a profit. As if it weren’t bad enough that the US “We want all of you to
m i l i t a r y i s b e i n g s q u a n d e r e d i n o r d e r t o p r o-
solider killed vide Bush and his cronies political and econom- be like Rosa Parks
ic profit, firms like Blackwater commit further
in Iraq is 21.” atrocities in that country, all to make a few today!”
bucks.
The icing on the smutty cake, according
to Scahill, is that Blackwater traveled to flood-
reading this haven’t even reached that age yet. ravaged New Orleans to do its dirty work in Of all the words of validation given by
Just imagine, for a moment, having your young advance of the feds. In his words, they are the speakers at the demonstration, one stands
life snuffed out like a candle in the wind…all so “turning the Mississippi into the Tigris,” out. A student took the stage and mentioned the
Halliburton can make a few bucks and some pig engaging in the same abuses of power as the recently deceased Rosa Parks’ brave act of defi-
in a suit can win political points from a war jus- police and feds in New Orleans, Biloxi, and so ance on a bus on that cold day just two genera-
tified on a grand conspiracy theory. on. They make their living off this without even tions ago. “We want all of you to be like Rosa
How many innocent Iraqi children have the flimsy veneer of being a “public servant.” Parks today!” she declared.
been slaughtered? I can’t even comprehend that At least they’re up front about it. Indeed, that was the spirit motivating
bloody number, it hurts too much. And yet, the Soon, the speakers, including a livid the World Can’t Wait demonstration; to spark a
B u s h i t e s c o n t i n u e d t o h o i s t t h e i r s i g n s e x h o r t- military mom, departed the stage, and a pack of flame of defiance and rebellion similar to
ing us to “SUPPORT OUR TROOPS!” Yet another high school kids replaced them. They’d all Parks’. It was in this spirit that we protestors
meaningless marketing slogan. walked out of school that day to come to the s h o u t e d o u r d e f i a n t c h a n t , “Join us, join us, the
“From Death Row, this is Mumia Abu r a l l y , i n t h e f a c e o f s u s p e n s i o n s a n d o t h e r d i s- world can’t wait! Drive…o u t… the Bush regime!”
Jamal.” c i p l i n a r y actions from their schools. The same What are y o u waiting for?
A rich erudite baritone filled the air, could be said for most of the youth in the crowd
bringing to our ears his words of wisdom. “This too. A round of applause for their courage melt- *visit www.worldcantwait.org for more
is not so much a protest against someone as it is ed into a rhythmic chant: information on the World Can’t Wait
a protest in support of yourself.” By this “Join us, joins us the world can’t wait! project
Mumia meant the obvious: dissent is vital to a D r i v e…o u t…the Bush regime!”
Page 12 Current Events
Phil Donahue and Michael Ratner
Visit Stony Brook
By Claudia Toloza
On Thursday afternoon, Stony Brook war, in his opi nion, and in the opinion of many September 11 attacks, and have not yet been
welcomed Michael Ratner and Phil Donahue to who also oppose the war, has put the United charged or tried.
discuss terrorism and dissent as part of the States in a very precarious position in the eyes It was definitely clear that one of the
Provost Lecture Series. Phil Donahue is a well- of the foreign world. main points of the night was the fact that the
known journalist and former host of the Like Mr. Ratner, Phil Donahue’s main American public is not as informed as it should
Donahue Show on MSNBC. Michael Ratner is the focus was the indifference that the American be on all the matters that surround the war.
President for the Center of Constitutional public has had on the war on terrorism. One of There is a big distance betwee n t h e d e c i s i o n s
Rights and he is also the author of the book his big criticisms was on the American media being made by the leaders of this country and
Guantanamo: What the World Should Know. who, in his opinion, is “beating the biggest the rest of the American public. I am sure that
T h e l e c t u r e s t a r t e d o u t wi t h a b r i e f drum for the war”. One good example of thi s is if many people knew that the United States gov-
introduction made by Amy Goodman, host of the ernment is imprisoning people without just
r a d i o s h o w Democracy Now! T h e f i r s t s p e a k e r o f cause and torturing them, they would not agree
the evening was Michael Ratner, who stepped up with this practice. One important point of the
to the podium to begin the discussion. Mr. evening was the fact that, as citizens, we should
Ratner started off the evening talking about the n o t b l i n d l y b e l i e v e i n t h e d e c i s i o n s o f o u r l e a d-
Guantanamo Bay prisoners and about the harsh ers. Whether a Democrat or Republican, one
conditions they are facing while imprisoned. s h o u l d q u e s t i o n t h e d e c i s i o n s m a d e b y t h e p e o-
One of the major points Ratner made was the ple we hav e elected because, in a sense, they are
indifference of the media concer ning these a reflection of us since we voted them into
issues and also the ignorance of the American office.
public about all the occurrences in Guantanamo. When the evening came to a close and the
Besides mentioning the case concerning floor was opened to the audience for questions,
the Guantanamo Bay prisoners, he mostly spoke the entire point of the lecture was brilliantly
about them to stress the point that we’re now made by the question of an audience member,
living in what he calls an ‘outlaw state’. In his “Why isn’t this place [the SAC Auditorium]
opinion, the fact that people are being held filled up?” (Although I sort of disagree with the
prisoner without any charges being pressed and audience member, I was very surprised with the
being tortured shows that law is no longer being turn out. I thought less people would have been
upheld. The phrase ‘outlaw state’ makes one present). However the point that was trying to
think. Could, as citizens of this country, all of be made was, how could two well-known person-
us be living in an outlaw state without even alities, talking about important issues, not draw
realizing it as such? The fear that the rights we out a huge crowd that a bigger location would be
have as citizens could be overstepped by the WHEN HE’S NOT AT STONY BROOK..., needed to host the event? This was precisely the
government for security reasons is a frightening Courtesy of www.piedpiperponyrides.com point that both Michael Ratner and Phil
thought. This was perhaps the point that Mr. Donahue were trying to get at. Although these
Ratner was trying to make to the entire audience the case of the Guantanamo Bay prisoners. were very important issues be ing discussed, the
present in the SAC auditorium, to question our R e c e n t l y a s t ory w as run in The New York Times auditorium was not filled to its maximum
government and not stand idly by when legal a b o u t t h e feeding tubes that are being used to capacity because not everyone took the time to
injustices are occurring right under our noses. force feed the 200 or more prisoners who have come and be informed. For those who did show
Following Mr. Ratner, Phil Donahue been on a hunger strike. This story was not one up, their time was not wasted at all. The lecture
stepped to the podium. The topic Mr. Donahue of the main headlines of The New York Times was very thought-provoking and informative; we
focused on was the current war in Iraq. Firmly despite its importance. More importantly, much can only hope that in the future more Stony
opposed to the war, Mr. Donahue made it clear of the American public is quick to forget that Brook holds more lectures like this one.
that this was a war that could have been avoid- there are in fact prisoners in Guant anamo Bay
ed and that should not have been fought. This who have been imprisoned, some since the

Our Forest Is Alive


By Sean Callanan
At the Wang Center on Friday, The Classic n e s s . T h e y p r o v i d e d e x c e l l e n t c o u n t e r p o i n t f o r desired, however. The audio system had not
Live for United Nations presented a motivation- the dreary polemics of the delegates to the con- b e e n p r o p e r l y t e s t e d , a s t h e c o n s t a n t l o w - f r e-
al program, “Our Forest Is Alive, Part III,” sup- f e r e n c e . Their growing impatience with the quency hum of a loose audio connection was
porting the Earth Charter. conference’s lack of clearly audible when anything but loud music
T h e E a r t h C h a r t e r i s a s u p- results (the delegates was playing. The Ambassador from the
plement to the UN Charter invariably got bogged Maldives was present, and his introductory
e n u m e r a t i n g f o u r f u n d a m e n- down in petty arguments) remarks were almost skipped over before the
t a l s o f s u s t a i n a b l e d e v e l o p- perfectly echoed that of Japan Center representative realized the error
ment: to respect Earth and the audience. and had the video that began the show rewound.
life in all its diversity, care This alternated with Finally, the piano was ov er-amplified, leaving
for the community of life with dance numbers by a group the vocals, already difficult to understand
understanding, compassion, of Japanese dancers, who because of the chorus’s Japanese accent even
and love, to build democratic p e r f o r m e d v a r i o u s t h e m a t- when they were in English, virtually inaudible.
s o c i e t i e s t h a t a r e j u s t , p a r t i c- ic numbers to a backdrop The material demonstrated vividly the
ipatory, sustainable, and of recorded music and distinction between the core values of environ-
peaceful, and to secure video images. T h e c h o r e- mentalism, which are so universal they almost
Earth’s bounty and beauty for ography was very well do not need words, and the pompous rhetoric
p r e s e n t a n d f u t u r e g e n e r a- done, and the dancers, w h i c h m a k e s e n v i r o n m e n t a l i s m s e e m l i k e a r a d-
tions. members of the Youth ical philosophy. The delegates’ wooden
The main portion of the Performing Arts Company speeches about the importance of social and
p r o g r a m c o n s i s t e d o f a d r a- Tokyo, evoked some of the e n v i r o n m e n t a l j u s t i c e a n d e q u i t a b l e d i s t r i b u-
matic performance natural beauty of Earth tion of resources seemed hollo w a n d s u p e r f l u-
d e p i c t i n g a g r o u p o f e n t h u s i- I’M WAITING FOR YOU IN THE WOODS, that can get lost in envi- ous when contrasted with the e b u l li en ce o f t h e
COME AND FIND ME
astic teenagers attending a ronmentalists’ histrionics teenagers, which symbolized the coming gener-
s e r i e s o f s e s s i o n s a t a n i n t e r- over tenth-of-a-degree ation and their dreams for the world, and the
national conference on the Earth Charter. R i g h t c h a n g e s i n g l o b a l t e m p e r a t u r e . beauty of the dances, which evoked the com-
f r o m t h e i r e n t r a n c e , t h e b o i s t e r o u s p r o t a g o n i s ts The Wang Center’s preparations and exe- plexity and fragility of nature.
s t o l e t h e s h o w w i t h t h e i r e n d e a r i n g a m a t e u r i s h- cution of the performance left much to be

Current Events Page 13


Hey, Who Ordered the Reviews?
Boy Gets Girl
By Karen Shidlo
Another Thursday night at Stony Brook So, flashback to Thursday night – I impression of real life, exactly what is needed
awaited me and instead of going binge drinking, watched the Long Island Play Project’s produc- f o r t h i s p l a y t o b e s u c c e s s f u l , f o r i f t h e a u d i-
I decided to do something intellectual, which is tion of the play with a bit of disappointment and ence does not feel Teresa’s emotions, the whole
what brought me to the Staller Center to watch with a decidedly critical eye. The first scene fear factor of the play is lost.
Boy Gets Girl. was acted overzealously, with the audience This was the other flaw in the produc-
All right, both of those comments are being made to laugh to the extent that the major- tion of the play – the acting was not always nat-
l i es – I n ev er b i n g e d r i n k o n Th u r sd ay n i g h t s, ity of them missed the aspects of Tony’s charac- ural enough for the audience to believe in the
n o r d i d I d e c i d e t o s e e t h i s p l a y f o r i n t e l l e c t u- ter that make him ‘creepy’, important for the action on stage. Body language was not success-
al reasons. I had to go for a class. progression of the story. I cannot say that I f u l l y a p p l i e d , w i t h a b n o r m a l p o s-
Nevertheless, upon arrival, I was excit ed; yes, appreciated the additional dialogue that was not tures being taken and awkward,
the concession stand looked appealing and the included in the original text, simply because fumbling gestures being made
crowd of eager classmates, not to mention elder- i t i s w h a t w a s t h e f u n d a- enough times to kill the atmos-
ly couples and families, set the mood for a truly mental problem phere.
enjoyable evening. w i t h t h e p r o- The use of sound was
Boy Gets Girl r e a d s w o n d e r f u l l y , w h i c h duction of the u s e d i n t e r e s t i n g l y , w i t h s a m-
is the real reason why I was anx- play – the ples of music being played in
ious to see a production of it. fact that between scene changes; the
Gilman sets the audience and most effective one was when the
reader up for a romance, sug- sound of someone typing on a computer key-
gestions of that coming through board was played loudly and at a steady pace,
the title of the play, as well as because it helped build up a sense of tension.
from the first scene. The play Generally speaking, I fe e l t h i s p r o d u c-
begins with a blind date and, on the comic relief was tion of the play was weak because of it’ s creat-
t h e s u r f a c e , i t s e e m s t o r u n r e l- o v e r p l a y e d a n d t h e se r i- ing a comical atmosphere, straying from the text
atively smoothly; however, a ousness underplayed. by adding parts and taking away one important
closer inspection immediately This was most monologue, not using scenery to its full poten-
reveals the more suspicious, if evident at the end of the t i a l a n d , l a s t l y , f o r t h e i n e x c u s a b l e s i n o f m a k-
not slightly neurotic, side of play – when the stalker is ing the audience laugh at the end.
Tony, the main male character. scarily close to Teresa, I will never get over that, because the
The plot is intriguing right his presence imposing play was not funny at all when I read it; I could
away, with the audience being and ominous – which pro- see the comic relief sections, used wisely after
drawn into what they think will be a duced yet more laughter. particularly strained moments in order to ease
struggle of the boy ‘getting’ the girl, The comic elements were some tension, however, it seemed that here, the
l i k e Romeo and Juliet o r W e s t S i d e given such dominance that whole message of stalking, fear, the role of
S t o r y. It is not long before Tony’s behav- whenever moments of fear, women and men were all completely lost on the
i o r c r o s s e s t h e l i n e o f i r r i t a t i n g l y s t u b- anger or gravity were played audience, due to too much emphasis on the jokes
born into life threatening for Teresa, the out, they seemed out of place and and not enough on the serious p ar ts .
woman whom he was set up with. did not cause the appropriate effects on In conclusion, my judgment is one of
As the play continues, the tension is the audience. disapproval of this production, because it does
increased constantly, with suggested violence The props and scenery were simple, not correlate strongly to the written words in
from Tony and sporadic breakouts of hysteria though not always effective; the bar scene at the the play nor to the images and ideas I had in my
on Teresa’s part making the audience more and beginning of the play was disappointing, for head before I came to watch the play. However,
more captivated. Interestingly, the stalker does example, because the correct atmosphere was no trip to the theater is a waste of time, so I am
not have that much dialo gue and is only in three not created. I would have liked to see more peo- glad I went there rather than that drinking
scenes, yet he is the dominant force, the cre- ple on stage, background noise playing softly party, which would have left me feeling utterly
a t i o n o f c o n f l i c t a n d d i s t r e s s . I t i s f o r t h e s e r e a- and just more furniture than simply a table and numbskulled and rather smelly from liquor,
sons and several more, that Gilman’s play is two stools. Other scenes set the mood and tone which is never much fun…
remarkable. for the actors to work in and gave more of an

Kudzu Wish - En Route


(AFH 385 Can Suck My Ass) By Rob Pearsall
As I sit here before AFH 385 I wonder, refrain. I like this, nice backing see in punk rock is a uniting
“What can I do to pass the time away?” The vocals, good na-na-na’s, good guitar force. A rallying cry.
answer came in the form of Kudzu Wish. I take a n d d r u m s t h a t k e e p t h e p a c e c l i p- Something that screams unity
the time to wonder about the name, “Isn’t Kudzu ping along. without shoving it down your
a thick vine?” I look up the definition and it’s It is a nice hard start and throat.
a vine with red flowers. It’s become a nuisance catchy little hook to the next song. The music has some good
in the southeastern US. I start up the first song, Good fast beat, something you can hooks and nice riffs. The lyrics
“Do the Woo,” and hope that the band doesn’t jump in the pit to. It’s slowed and have got some good backup. I
follow its namesake. there’s some counting. That’s see some small things in the
The singer’s voice isn’t whiny like the kinda lame but it makes up for it lyrics that can stick in your
emo that dominates the music scene. It’s got by counting quickly and picking head but it’s being too literal.
politically charged lyrics. It’s a fresh change up the pace of the song again. The music needs some poetry to
from “my girlfriend dumped me and I like Enough of the song by song it and I don’t see much of that.
singing about it because misery loves company.” review. Th ey’ve got a good sound, I THEM GUYS AIN’T BAD, Kudzu Wish has got a good sound
As for the music itself, the riffs aren’t as hard like it but I’m a fan of most punk Courtesy of kudzuwish.com going and I can sing along to the
as I’d like. The song starts off softer than I’d these days. It’s time to go over their backup vocal after a couple lis-
expect from some who shares the stage with song writing. Something that’ll keep me coming tens. I just wish there was a little more to attach
Against Me!, but it kicks into gear during the back is good song writing. Something I love to m y s e l f t o i n t h e l y r i c s .

Page 14 Reviews
Hey, Who Ordered the Reviews?
I Knew the Ushers
By James Messina
The Long Island Play Project has put d i f f e r e n c es were to the detriment or benefit of antagonism between him and her. And as a last
together a production of a provocative play t h e p r o d u c t i o n p r o b a b l y d e p e n d s o n t h e i n d i- particular detail which I took strong issue with:
( a l l i t e r a t i o n , h o ! ) e n t i t l e d Boy Gets Girl, w r i t t e n vidual. at one point in the written v e r s i o n , T h e r e s a
by Rebecca Gilman and directed by Lauren W hen I read the play, I was impressed receives a letter which threatens to “… fuck
Rosen. On Thursday, November 3r d, 2 0 0 5 , I by the work’s ability to tackle the difficult [her] where [she’s] small.” But in the acted ver-
came and saw the play on behalf of this fine issues surrounding how we interpret the sion she states it as being, “… fucked in the
newspaper and left satisfied. The play is about male/female dynamic. At first, the play had me ass.” The first one sounds much more degrading,
a woman named Theresa who goes on a blind date thinking that it would be a romantic comedy, which was, I think, the point the playwright was
with a guy called Tony. There’s not much chem- b u t I p e r s o n a l l y f e l t i t t o o k a t u r n f o r t h e s e r i- trying to convey. Theresa had an element of
ist ry, but Tony can’t take a hint. Theresa flat ous very near to the beginning. After an initial naïveté in the written version which is
out denies his advances; Tony’s still slow to chuckle or two poring over the text, I quickly d e s t r o y e d b y h e r a w a r e n e s s i n t h e a c t e d v e r-
catch on. Then the stalking begins. b e c a m e e ngrossed by its darker side, and I don’t sion. I supported the idea to include comedy,
I thought the play was well done. I’ve recall having but I was less fond of the idea to add the conflict
never seen a Broadway play, but back laughed once between Mercer and Theresa. The same goes for
Upstate, in the land of cows, I managed after the second the change in the letter. I don’t think these were
never to skip a school trip. Boy Gets or third scene. necessary changes.
G i r l w a s a w e l l - d o n e p r o d u c- While watching If you haven’t read the play, then the
t i o n , n o t u p t o p a r w i th the play I ended divergences are of less note than the overall
the touring companies up laughing a impressions of the work. And my impressions
I’ve seen, but pretty number of times though, in this were more favorable. The
close. The acting usually to lines that actors/actresses were all good, though my favor
wasn’t going weren’t featured in the lay towards some more than others. I thought
to win the w r i t t e n v e r s i o n . I p e r s o n a l- Sophie Vanier, who plays the protagonist
cast any ly approve of the decision to Theresa, was overacting at times and that some
Tonys, the try and add a little comedy of her postures/affectations didn’t feel natural.
stage wasn’t to this piece, but I think that Robert Colpitts, who plays Theresa’s boss
going to blow you in doing so it sacrificed a lot Howard, was also not my favorite. His accent
a w a y w i t h i t s r e a l- of its force by replacing it wasn’t the best, and at one point he affected a
ism and attention to with levity. There wasn’t a limp poorly. Kat Sarfas portrayed Detective
minutiae, but saying deep examination of the Beck, a woman who helps Theresa with her
the production was implications of stalking, there stalker situation. In the written play I imagined
passable would be an wasn’t as much tension. her as almost a mother figure – indeed, at one
understatement. I’d A n o t h e r , m o r e s p e c i f i c , d i f f e r- point, Theresa and Beck hug. This hug was omit-
tell my friends to go ence which affected the play was ted in the acted version, and the general tone
see it, but that having the inclusion of a tension between Kat adopted was one of brusqueness and almost
b e e n s t a t e d , a n y o n e f a m i l- two main characters, Mercer and of dismissal. I don’t know whether to blame the
iar with the written play Theresa. In the written version, direction or the actor for Be ck’s attitude, but I
w i l l f i n d n u m e r o u s d i s p a r i- Mercer is supportive of Theresa and f e e l i t w a s a d e f i n i t e m i s i n t e r p r e t a t i o n r e g a r d-
ties between the text and the tries to help her. In the acted version
acted play. Whether or not these this is also true, but there’s a very clear Continued on next page

Zombies? We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Zombies


By Joey Safdia
The latest game in the hit R e s i d e n t E v i l in a new direction. Perhaps the most shocking of the series, but with a new over-the-shoulder
franchise has finally made its way to the Sony revelation is the fact that the game has no zom- view as opposed to a fixed camera, giving you
Playstation 2. Being a fan of the survival-horror bies, the staple enemy of the R e s i d e n t E v i l the feeling that you’re part of the action. The X
g e n r e , w h i c h w a s t h r u s t i n t o m a i n s t r e a m w i t h series. Instead, you fight crazed villagers, as button now has a certain use depending on the
the original 1996 videogame R e s i d e n t E v i l, I d u r a b l e a n d r e l e n t l e s s a s z o m b i e s , b u t w i t h situation, allowing you to kick open doors, jump
knew I just had to own this game. R e s i d e n t E v i l i n t e l l i g e n c e a n d q u i c k n e s s l i k e y o u h a v e n e v e r out windows, climb on top of certain large ene-
4 follows United States Government agent Leon seen. They will run at you, attack you with mies, use a grappling hook, knock down a lad-
S. Kennedy, our favorite weapons such as axes and der, roundhouse a villager, and much more. At
Raccoon Police Department crossbows, and communicate certain points during gameplay or even
rookie from R e s i d e n t E v i l 2, a s with each other in Spanish. cutscenes, you’ll be prompted t o h i t a c e r t a i n
h e e n t e r s a r u r a l S p a n i s h v i l- Even the most hardened pair of buttons in order to dodge a ferocious
lage in search of the Resident Evil veterans will enemy attack. Add new weapons that were not in
President’s missing daughter, find themselves surrounded by the original Nintendo Gamecube release, the
Ashley Graham. The game over a dozen villagers at any gameplay length and storyline depth of Metal
takes place in 2004, six years given point of the game with Gear Solid a s w e l l a s r a d i o t r a n s m i s s i o n
after the destruction of very little hope of survival. The s e q u e n c e s r e m i n i s c e n t o f t h e C o d e c , d e s t r u c t i-
Raccoon City, in a world where bosses are also something to ble environments, a huge array o f u n i q u e e n e-
Umbrella Inc. is no more, but behold. Giant monsters lumber mies, plenty of action, and a new “Separate
the horrors of Raccoon City toward you, many of which Ways” minigame starring a surprise character,
will come back with a m a k e R e s i d e n t E v i l 3’s Nemesis and you’ve got yourself a surefire classic in the
vengeance in this nightmare. It look like the Taco Bell realm of survival-horror.
i s u p t o y o u , t h e p l a y e r , t o s u r- Chihuahua. Each one has its Resident Evil 4 is a must-have for all
vive this new action-oriented o w n u n i q u e a n d i n t r i c a t e s t r a t- R e s i d e n t E v i l fans. With faced-paced gameplay
SHE’S IN THERE IF YOU SQUINT,
nightmare and complete your egy (no more running away, and an epic storyline, as well as tons of new
Courtesy of Hollywoodtown
mission of rescuing th e shooting, running away, and additions, Resident Evil 4 is definitely the best
President’s daughter. shooting again), and just when game of the series and may be one of the best
Simply put, Resident Evil 4 is beyond you think the battle is won, they rise again. games for the Sony Playstation 2.
awesome! Just like the original, it is a unique The gameplay is a mixture of old and
g a m e t h a t t a k e s t h e e n t i r e s u r v i v a l - h o r r o r g e n r e new. The controls are the same as the core games

Reviews Page 15
Hey, Who Ordered the Reviews?
I Knew the Ushers Continued... Off-Lost Movie
Night - Fallen
By James Messina
Continued from previous page humble reporters.

& The
less. Brian Avery, Eric C. Webb, and Ashley Random thoughts:
Straw, who played the characters Mercer, Jazz was played at most scene switches. I
Tony and Harriet respectively, all did very good caught punk rock once, some weird
jobs, and I was impressed by their abilities. My breakbeat/trance once, and Fiona Apple once.

Frighteners
praise goes out to Jonah Rosenberg, who por- But mostly jazz. You know how disappointed you
trayed cult film hero Les Kennkat. He received are when you keep expecting to hear more Fiona
the majority of the laughs, and well-deserved Apple, and you don’t?
they were. My singular problem with Kennkat
was that he was supposed to be an old m an, but
Sounds from the environs would occa-
sionally be laced into the music used for scene
By David K Ginn
was clearly in his twenties – this is an error that switches. A car alarm was used once. Once too LOOK
I can’t reasonably blame the actor for. Were I to many. Damn that sucked, I hate that noise. WHAT
vote on one particular performer having done the I understand the play took a comedic rather than YOU
best that night, it would be him. Though once dramatic tone, but there were some times people MISSED
more, this is not to insult the others, who were laughed where the tone was 100% serious as a Courtesy
all talented. heart attack. At one point the detective recom- of what
With regards to the other aspects of the m e n d e d T h e r e s a f i n d a n a p a r t m e n t w i t h a d o o r- you
play, I was equally impressed. The stage crew man. Chuckling ensued… for no reason. Perhaps missed,
moved efficiently, the costumes were freakin’ I’m dumb. fool!
sweet an d the lighting was well-done. The Some girls were loudly stifling giggles in
props/stage were also very good given the mini- the back for at least five minutes. Were I the sort O f f -L o s t Movie Night rocked here at the
mal nature of the stage. Of particular note were of fellow who carried a shovel with me at all office, and we enjoyed it all by our lonesome.
the constant presence of Dunkin’ Donuts around times, I would’ve solved that problem. You know, Two weeks ago, we watched the I d l e H a n d s a u d i o
Kennkat, the beautiful posters present for the ‘cuz I would have hit them. commentary. That rocked. Last week, we
interview scene between Theresa and Kennkat, One dialogue was about the kind of watched The Frighteners at 8 and Fallen at 10.
and the baseball memorabilia surrounding underwear Theresa liked. What can you tell That also rocked. Both movies kick so much ass
Theresa. The inclusion of minutiae like these about a person from the underwear they have? I in their own way. You guys should have been
made the play more interesting. wear unadorned cotton boxers in solid colors; there. We had food, drinks, and even a bit of
I enjoyed my evening at Boy Gets Girl a n d get back to me on that. love.
thought it was quite good. I’d say if you have Mercer said three times, “I’m calling the The Frighteners is what happened when
some time on your hands, it’s worth checking police.” My idea: That’s enough frequency to Peter Jackson came to Hollywood. Enough said.
out. The play is running November 3r d- 6t h, a n d h ave a drinking game. The phrase, “Where do I He makes Hollywood look good. F a l l e n i s w h a t
t h e 1 2t h a n d 1 3t h at the Staller Center for The get off?” was also used multiple times. Combine happens when people read the bible and listen
Arts Theatre Two. Tickets are $7 for SBU stu- the two for…m o r e d r i n k i n g! to Mick Jagger. Enough said.
dents. You can buy tickets upon arrival or call What happens if an actor gets wood on stage? No
(631)632-ARTS. Lastly, I’d like to thank Steve pun intended, that was serious, and it has got to Lost is on every Wednesday at 9. Off-Lost is
and Elizabeth for their cordial treatment of two suck. every Wednesday at 8 when Lost airs a re-run

Page 16 Reviews
Hey, Who Ordered the Reviews?
New Zealand Music For Imbeciles (How to
“Extend” Your Ear-Drum’s Experience)
By Paula Guy
Imbeciles! Here! I am trying to broaden THE MINT CHICKS –Fucking rock and roll. permanently into the shape of an upside down
your cultural horizons. Try spinning something Scream and holler and jive and scratch against rainbow. Listen to the song “Hope.” Gorgeous,
other than that stinky-pinky new Staind the wall with your rock’n’roll mellow, sincere, with a slice of th at beautiful
album in your little walkman (or try voice. I fucking love the Mint earthy pessimism, that comes from living by the
shuffling something else in your Ipod). Chicks, they have one of the ocean and watching the world come and go
Pick up some New Zealand music. most energetic live shows around you. Fat Freddy’s Drop’s album B a s e d
I have complied a around. Their two EPs A n t i - on a True Story is a mine of soulful, soothing,
short guide to this T i g e r a n d Octagon Octagon, fucking divine rhythms. I want to fall asleep
little niche of were full of taught, elastic every night listening to this band. I want to
sound, from the little riffs, frantic drums, wake up every morning listening to this
South Pacific, in and the urgent voice of lead album. I am in love.
case your eardrums singer Kody Neilson, leap-
are keen to ing off the studio walls like P-MONEY – scratch-a-licious hip hop man
embark on a gymnastic bat. Their full- This guy’s got a pretty fast set of hands. He has
s o m e e x p l o- length debut, Fuck the b e e n p l a c e d 3r d a t t h e w o r l d D J c h a m p i o n s h i p s
ration. Golden Youth, r e c o r d e d i n a and supported Public Enemy. He has collabo-
New secluded hut in Northland – rated with many of New Zealand’s hip-hoppers
Z e a l a n d New Zealand’s home of secret, (Scribe, Che Fu…). The man has an ear for
music is hard deserted beaches, was a little danceable beats, and has several of his own
to pin-down. It weaker – longer songs, more art- a l b u m s , Magic City a n d Big Things. A t a l e n t e d
has little exposure rock interludes, straying from the producer also, P-Money is one to watch out for.
on an international urgency of the EPs. Definitely a
stage, and often suffers from being over- band to watch though. Angular, CONCORD DAWN – gorgeous soundscapes, dirty
influenced by international musical trends energetic, and tuneful little shits, beeps…
(a little garage-rock scene emerged in the they are. Check out the singles Yummy. I a m going to be dancing to Concord
wake of the Strokes, etc, although this was “Blue Team Go”, and “Licking Dawn (and a plethora of other rampaging New
more a case of record companies rushing to Letters.” I want to jump around and Zealand dance acts), in a few weeks under neon
cash in and sign similar ‘trendy’ bands). throw firecrackers in public lights. I will be covered in fuzz and probably
However, the land of Aotearoa spaces whenever I very happy. Yehe. Concord Dawn are sexy, and
(‘Long White Cloud’), does seem to give birth hear those m a k e m e d a n c e i n l i t t l e c i r c l e s l i k e a h y p n o-
t o s o m e r a t h e r w o n d e r f u l , s ne a k y , s e x y songs. Hell tised kangaroo. On their new album, U p r i s i n g,
bands, many of whom deserve more exposure. yeah. there are plenty of tracks to investigate – the
I will try to introduce you to a vari- opener “Morninglight” is gorgeous – sexy bass,
ety of musical experiences from these FAT FRED- ge ntly distorted vocals. They have musical
shores. DYS DROP – tastes wider as the Pacific Ocean, sampling
So here goes the guide: music for Slayer on “Raining Blood”, mixing heavy hair
your soul to throwing riffs with tight skanky drum and bass
PLUTO – sexy sneaky tunesters skank to breaks. Oh! And listen to the stealthy rhythms
This band is folky and sexy at the same Soulful reggae is a of the track “Ninja.” I want this song as my
time. Divine keyboards, mixed with popular sound in soundtrack when I turn super-hero/and or start
heavy, swaying guitars. Their first Aoteoroa. New Zealander’s purchase robbing banks.
a l b u m , r e d l i g h t s y n d r o m e has a few more Bob Marley per capita than
gems, “Hey Little”, and “She’s Jive”, any where else. Maybe it stems The delicious list of New Zealand music
but does not possess the consistency of from the abundance of beaches and goes on and on. Some other lovely antipodean
their follow up album Pipe Line the excellent ganja which goes bands are the Sneaks, the Rabble, the
Under the Ocean, w h i c h c a r r i e s along with many summer Blackseeds, Katchafire, Che Fu, King Kapisi,
some dirtier riffs and makes you experiences. Fat SJD, Dimmer…..yes….the lists goes on an on.
wanna dance even more. Pluto Freddie’s Drop sound Now you have hopefully been encour-
generally make me want to like a beautiful boat aged. Go listen to some Kiwi music!
stroll through a forest and swaying gently through Amplifier.co.nz has a lot of information on New
make campfires and dance the South Pacific waters, Zealand artists, and mp3 snippets of plenty of
around them with a banjo and a spreading their lazy lovely sound great tunes. Smokecds.com probably possesses
disco-ball. No banjos feature in as they go. They gots the reggae the most plentiful selection of New Zealand
P l u t o ’ s m u s i c – j u s t i n s t r u m e n t s t h a t Courtesy of Matt Willemain b e a t s , t h e y ’ l l m a k e y o u m o v e music for sale on ze internet. Clean out your
inspire banjo thoughts. They did y o u r h i p s w i t h o u t y o u e v e n r e a l- tired eardrums! Acquire some South Pacific
have a giant disco-ball at a show once though. I ising it. They also gots the soul that makes you sounds, my child. Your neurons will rejoice.
danced! w a n t t o s mile so wide that your mouth stretches

Reviews Page 17
Hey, Who Ordered the Reviews?
Arrested Development: Season 2 DVD
By David K. Ginn
I watched this show by accident. It was
playing in the office, so I decided to sit and
watch. I laughed my fucking ass off. Not only
is this show unique, intelligent, and creative,
but it also maintains a huge cult quality.
In season 2 we see Michael Bluth (Jason
Bateman), president of the Bluth Company ever
s i n c e h i s d a d ( J e f f r e y Ta m b o r ) w e n t t o p r i s o n
for embezzlement (or minor treason). The peo-
ple who make his life miserable are: his
socialite mother, Lucille (Jessica Walter);
his spoiled twin sister, Lindsay (Portia de
Rossi); her mismatched ex-psychiatrist-
t u r n e d - a c t o r h u s b a n d , T o b i a s (Mr. Show’s
David Cross); their wannabe-rebellious
daughter, Maeby (Alia Shawkat); Michael’s
older brother, and (sort of) professional In one
magician, GOB (Will Arnett); and Michael’s episode,
younger, sheltered brother, Buster ( Tony Hale). the family believes
The show follows Michael as he tries to run the that George Sr.
c o m p a n y , d e a l w i t h t hi s c r a z y a s s o r t m e n t o f away with the laugh track, (Michael’s dad) is dead and plans a
people, and find ways to spend time with his emotional family bonding, taboos funeral for him. Unfortunately, there’s no body
meek-yet-charming son, George-Michael on content, and… film. The show is to be found. In this same episode, GOB is
(Michael Cera), who harbors a secret crush on shot entirely on digital video, ashamed of not making the cover of a magician
h i s c ou s i n M a e b y . which gives it a very realistic yet magazine and vows to top himself. Anyone who
What ends up happening is a circus that captivating style. As I said before, knows GOB, and knows the show, can guess
in each episode starts small, blows up, and still the show’s innovation and adaptation immediately that part of the episode’s climax
manages to sew everything up before the credits actually hold it back, and the reason for this is w i l l i n c l u d e a n e l a b o r a t e i l l u s i o n ( “i l l u s i o n s ,
r o l l . Eac h ch ar act er h as t h ei r o wn amb i t i o n s, that audiences need time to realize that the Michael, i l l u s i o n s . Tricks are what a whore
and their own separate storyline that criss- world has changed. A r r e s t e d D e v e l o p m e n t w a s does for money… or coke.”) that fails horribly.
crosses with everyone else’s and usually ends not a casualty of this delay, thankfully, and is As the family is sitting in grief and discussing
with a climax so absurd it keeps you laughing b e g i n n i n g to pick up mainstream momentum. what to do about the lack of a body, the diehard
through the credits. Much like Seinfeld, which This show could have ended up in the “not ready fans slap their foreheads as GOB stands up
presented four different people with different for you yet” pile very easily (and it almost did). because in that instant they’ve f i g u r e d o u t w h a t
stories that would all end up coming to a head, Luckily, during its hour of judgment, the cult he’s going to say: that he shall (à la David
Arrested Development offers full justification fan base saved the day. Because of everyone who Blaine) take his father’s place in the coffin and
f o r w h a t , a t t i m e s , c o u l d b e c a l l e d p u r e a b s u r d- was so obsessed with this show, and their let- survive without food or nourishment in what
ity. ters to Fox Television, A r r e s t e d D e v e l o p m e n t will be the most acclaimed illusion ever.
The first season picked up a very large was picked up for a third season and is now What’s even better is when it’s actually
cult fan base, but it was never considered to be playing. Woohoo! It just shows that some things attempted. In the same vein as George-Michael’s
truly mainstream. There are obvious reasons ( l i k e S t a r Trek: Enterprise, w h i c h e a r n e d n e a r- campaign video (you have to see it to truly
for this. The show is unlike most of what’s on ly enough money from its cult fans to film understand), the climax completely defies your
T.V. because it has done the impossible: it has another season and still perished) need to die, expe ctations. At those times, y o u r e a l i z e t h a t
resurrected the T.V. sitcom. T.V. sitcoms dwin- and others need to live. just about anything can happen on this show.
dled and died slowly because they refused Now, about the show. Season 2 includes a load of regular guest
to adapt. It’s pure Darwinian logic. Every character has their characters, including the famous Bluth family
Television has changed, and if the quirks, and the more you get to attorney Barry Zuckerkorn (Henry Winkler, in a
p r o g r a m s d o n ’ t a d a pt t h e y w i l l know them the funnier they role that, I believe, shows he can exist beyond
die. Seinfeld came about at a get. This is the only show The Fonze), George-Michael’s Christian-conser-
time when there were few sit- I ’ v e s e e n w h e r e p r e- vative girlfriend Ann Veal (Mae Whitman),
c o m s t h a t w e r e n ’ t c l i c h é - r i d- dictability is a driving Lucille’s shady housemaid, Lupe (B.W.
den and formulaic. Seinfeld force. You know exactly Gonzales), and the tit-flashing, incriminating-
took the formulas and clichés, how each character will information-holding, ex-secretary Kitty
tore them apart, and put react to a given situa- Sanchez (Judy Greer). These regulars really
together a jigsaw puzzle that tion, and yet somehow hold the show up when it’s needed, and are
amounted to- well, nothing. it ends up going far amazingly talented. Like certain props (i.e. the
That was adaptation. People beyond what you’d Stair Car and GOB’s scooter), the RGs are called
wanted to see a lack of fami- expected. This is the upon at just the right moments to knock things
l y v a l u e s a n d m o r a l e t i- tool of the show. They out over the edge. The main cast, in my opinion,
quette, because that’s put you in Michael’s would begin to seem isolated and unreal if not
where T.V. was headed. place, the place of the for these regular supporting elements. They
A r r e s t e d r e s p o n s i b l e form their own world, and it’s through the con-
Development does the same brother/son/father tinuity of that world and its minor details that
thing, except over fifteen who’s surrounded you feel totally captivated.
years later. Popular culture by idiots he’s Don’t worry if you haven’t seen the first
has never been static, and with known his entire season. Definitely see it, but you don’t have to
the importance of technology life. He knows watch it to get into the second season. I’m not
growing exponentially the every little thing going to go over any special features because I
dynamics move more quickly about t hem, every watched a ripped DVD and had some navigation-
with each year that quirk…yet still a l d i f f i c u l t i e s o n m y s e v e n - y e a r - o l d D V D p l a y-
passes. A r r e s t e d they surprise er. I’m sure they’re great, though. Maybe some-
Development and amaze him one else can review them.
decides every day. Dudes, definitely watch t h i s s h o w .
to do

Page 18 Reviews
Hey, Who Ordered the Reviews?
Great Comic Books #2:
Batman Year One and The Dark Night Returns By Thomas Mets
The Dark Knight Returns Miller to tell the defining stories of the second- method of breaking the average page into six-
Writer/ Penciller- Frank Miller most recognizable comic book superhero. teen panels rather than the traditional nine
Inker- Klaus Janson Miller decided to write The Dark Knight panels allowed him to make the s t o r y f a r d e n s e r ,
Colorist- Lynn Varley R e t u r n s when, at 30, he became upset at the idea use cinematic pacing, and ensured that every
Letterer- John Costanza that he was a year older than Batman, and bor- splash page would be striking. He was also
rowed many of the ideas Alan Moore was using innovative in his use of moment-to-moment
Batman: Year One i n Watchmen (Which he, and pretty much transitions (i.e. the Joker slowly puffs a ciga-
Writer- Frank Miller everyone else working at DC at the time got to rette over the course of 3 panels) as opposed to
Illustrator- David Mazzuchelli view before the general audience). He told a j u s t t h e a c t i o n - t o - a c t i o n t r a n s i t i on s ( i . e . t h e
Colorist- Richmond Lewis simple story about a middle-aged Batman com- Joker stabs Batman, Batman punches Joker) far
Letterer- To d d Kl ei n ing out of retirement, after Gotham City goes to more common in superhero comics. These were
Hell without him, and the backlash that follows. pretty much non-existent in American comics,
Batman was created by Bob Kane. Y e a r However, his Batman is a far darker hero will- and frequent in the manga which Frank Miller
O n e, a n d T h e D a r k K n i g h t owe much to the work ing to snap the backs of criminals, torture was one of the first American creators to read
of Bob Kane, Bill Finger, Jerry Robinson, Dave h e n c h m e n f o r i n f o r m a t i o n ( i n c r e a t i v e & e n t e r- (He later repaid the favor by drawing the covers
Fleischer, Max Fleischer, Joe for the American editions of
Shuster, Jerry Sie gel, and Dick Lone Wolf & Cub). The manga
Sprang influences may explain why
Miller is better than any other
Until the 1950s, American creator at portraying
Batman was the dark detective a fight scene, as evident in
of a darker city. Then the book Batman’s battles with the
Seduction of the Innocent c o n- Mutant Leader, the Joker, and
vinced parents that comic Superman. The last match was
books were the only things unexpected to say the least,
responsible for the bad things even though the entire story
their children did (theft, leads into it. The, “Who would
homosexuality, accepting peo- win a fight – Batman or
ple of other races & religions Superman?” debate began here,
as equals, etc) and Batman sto- because Frank Miller was
ries became a lot tamer, and screwed up enough to ask, and
wackier (Batman in space!) to answer that question.
s u r v i v e u n d e r t h e n e w r e g u l a- While Miller’s Batman is
tions of the Comics Code a man of absolute morals willing
Authority (imposed to assure to do what is right and nothing
parents that their children else, his Superman has compro-
would not be corrupted by mised his principles, and
comic book stories.) These become the minion of a corrupt
tales were adapted into the government which denies his
campy adventures of the 1960s very existence in order to be
Batman TV show, and resulted allowed to continue saving the
in the majority of the public world. The final battle has been
thinking that Batman is Adam controversial to t h i s d a y , t o s a y
West. There were a few decent the least. Some believe the story
creative runs in the Batman has corrupted the very idea of
books in the years after that, Superman, while others have
but it was Frank Miller’s run declared it the best battle/
on th e character which m o m e nt i n c o m i c s . Miller
restored his distinction as the understands and exhibits the
dark knight, influencing the awe Superman should inspire
mood of the top-grossing Tim with excellent sequences such
Burton movies, the Timm-Dini as his first scenes with
cartoons, and every other Superman in action (Hell – any
IT’S A THIN, CHIAROSCURIC LINE THAT THE BAT-MAN WALKS,
depiction of Batman since. T h e Courtesy of MoralAbsolutism of his scenes wi t h S u p e r m a n i n
D a r k K n i g h t R e t u r n s w a s p u b- action), and a White House
lished at the same time as exchange between Superman and
W a t c h m e n (Great Comic Book #1) and has had a t a i n i n g w a y s w h i c h p u t D i r t y H a r r y t o s h a m e ) , the President, in which the stripes of the
tremendous influence on mainstream coverage a n d a p p r o a c h a b a t t l e w i t h a f a r s t r o n g e r , American flag slowly dissolve into the second
of superhero comic books, the eventual darken- younger, and dumber enemy as if he were a sur- most recognizable American Symbol. These
ing of comics, and the pub lication of comic book geon, and the mudhole they’re fighting in an s e q u e n c e s a r e o n l y m a d e b e t te r w h e n M i l l e r
t r a d e p a p e r b a c k s ( n o w r e f e r r e d t o a s g r a p h i c operating table. This Gotham is filled with ter- illustrates the circumstances under which
novels.) rified civilians, psychos who kill for the fun of Batman can stand a chance of beating Superman.
C r e a t o r F r a n k M i l l e r f i r s t b e c a m e it, and cops who don’t know if this masked vig- After he wrote & drew Batman’s last
k n o w n a s a n i l l u s t r a t o r , a n d w r i t e r o f D a r e d e v i l , i l a n t e i s a hero or a lunatic.. a d v e n t u r e i n T h e D a r k K n i g h t R e t u r n s, F r a n k
during what has become known as its definitive The book has a dark sense of humor, as M i l l e r w r o t e Year One about Bruce Wayne’s first
run (I’ll cover it soon in this column.) The man F r a n k M i l e r s a t i r i z e s e v e r y t h i n g f r o m i n e f f e c- year back in Gotham, and Lieutenant James
had a love of the Batman mythos since he was a tive politicians trying to make as few decisions Gordon’s first year in a very corrupt city (the
child, and Daredevil Editor Jo Duffy often shot a s p o s s i b l e t o a f f l u e n t l i b e r a l s s p e a k i n g o u t f o r tale has become my favorite cop drama to date).
down his ideas because they were more appro- the rights of criminals in neighborhoods they’d Miller had the opportunity to tell the stories he
p r i a t e f o r t h e d a r k d e t e c t i v e t h a n t h e b l i n d never live in, and moronic TV hosts (in one case a l l u d e d t o i n D a r k K n i g h t, such as Gordon’s
a t t o r n e y w i t h s u p e r - s e n s e s . I t ’ s n o s u r p r i s e a perfect caricature of David Letterman) who attempts to bring down the world’s greatest
that he went on to do great things for the char- say “ Th at ’s just rude” when the Joker promises
acter, although I doubt anyone was expecting to kill everyone in their audience. Miller’s Continued on next page
Reviews Page 19
Hey, Who Ordered the Reviews?

Today, we review the timeless masterpiece:


Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol

“Citizens in Petrol”

That’s how I envisioned the end of this movie. Everyone on the set being drenched
in high-octane super unleaded grade A petroleum and then being set on fire in front of
a live studio audience. That would have at least been entertaining.
There is not much good about the movie. The acting is bad. The writing is vomit-
worthy. The characters are so lame that you just want to hit them over the head
THIS MOVIE BLEW with a Black and Decker toaster oven. I don’t know what happened here, but this
Courtesy of the movie that really blew movie sucks.

Great Comic Books #2 Continued...


By Thomas Mets
Continued from previous page ed Batman comic of the last ten years) and it’s subversive elements of Year One a n d D a r k
s e q u e l D a r k V i c t o r y. Batman’s relationship K n i g h t). The movie Batman Begins d e l i b e r a t e l y
detectives. The parallels begin with the first
with cops was never the same, and ever since the t r i e d t o t e l l a d i f f e r e n t s t o r y , b u t s t i l l i n c l u d-
page, where Bruce returns to Gotham by train,
publication of this story Superman & Batman ed elements such as crime boss Carmine
and Gordon arrives by train, both regretting
h a v e l o s t t h e c a m a r a d e r i e t h e y h a d i n t h e p r e- Falcone, the use of sonar to summon a swarm of
that they didn’t choose the other form of trans-
ceding decades, and comics creators began bats, the military tank approach to the
portation. The tale contains many great
showing the dangers of Superman’s powers in Batmobile, the final scene, and Batman telling
moments such as Bruce Wayne’s unsuccessful
the wrong works (notably in T h e A u t h o r i t y & Gordon: “You’re a good cop. One of the few.”
first reconnaissance mission into Gotham City’s
Supreme Power, both of which implemented the Both Year One & T h e D a r k K n i g h t R e t u r n s a r e
East End, Lt. Gordon studying a crooked cop
available in almost any book store in soft cover
beating a suspect “for future reference”, the
f o r m a t ( t e n d o l la r s , a n d f i f t e e n d o l l a r s r e s p e c-
fate of a crime boss’s Rolls Royce, Lt. Gordon’s
tively), and in more expensive hardcovers.
romance with a fellow officer who is not his
After his Batman work Frank Miller
pregnant wife, and Bruce deciding to take the
went onto creator-owned work such as S i n C i t y
bat as his symbol.
(a series I plan to cover soon), 3 0 0 ( a n o t h e r
It really doesn’t matter what order you
story I plan to cover soon), Hard Boiled, a n d B i g
read them in, and my personal preferences
Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot ( a t w o p a r t m i n i -
change every time I read them. On almost every
series which became the basis for the cartoon a
list of best Batman stories that I’ve ever seen,
few years back). He dabbled in movies, working
these two stories are on top. Year One i s a c l e a r
on screenplays for the Robocop sequels (note –
improvement ove r D a r k K n i g h t w i t h t h e e x c e p-
his scripts were severely changed by the time
tional artwork. Colorist Richmond Lewis is
the movies came out), and more than a decade
instrumental in creating the somber tone of the
later he co-directed the Sin City movie with
b o o k , w h i l e i l l u s t r a t o r ( a n d F r a n k M i l l e r ’ s c o l-
Robert Rodriguez. He returned to Batman with
l a b o r a t o r o n Daredevil: Born Again) D a v i d
D K 2, h i s s e q u e l t o D a r k K n i g h t R e t u r n s, a n d
Mazzuchelli is a master of facial expression
m o r e r e c e n t l y All Star Batman & Robin, w i t h
(particularly the eyes), and memorable visuals.
i l l u s t r a t o r J i m L e e a p p l y i n g t h e Year One
Examples include the arrival of the bats in the
approach to Robin. Both have had mixed
third chapter, and the hazy visuals as Batman
reviews, and have sold very well (for comic
surrounded by smoke promises upper-class
books). In addition to Sin City sequels, he’s also
Gothamites whose party he crashes that their
currently working on an original Batman
feast is over. There’s nothing wrong with the
Graphic Novel tentatively titled Holy Terror!
a r t w o r k o f D a r k K n i g h t, b u t Year One h a s s o m e
Batman. It’s in the black & white art style of Sin
of the best art I’ve ever seen in a comic book.
City, and features Batman Versus Al Qaeda. I’m
There is a lot of debate over which story is bet-
not the only one looking forward to it.
ter, rivaling arguments amongst movie buffs
P.S. – I did not know about Entertainment
r e g a r d i n g w h e t h e r T h e G o d f a t h e r, o r T h e
Weekly’s five-page article on W a t c h m e n w h e n I
Godfather Part 2 is a better movie, or the dis-
wrote the last article, as evident by the things
putes Beatles fans have when comparing
they knew that I didn’t (such as Neil Gaiman’s
Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band t o
role as researcher for Alan Moore, and Buffy
the White Album.
creator Joss Whedon admitting its influence on
Frank Miller’s Batman stories have pret-
h i s w o r k ) . A n d I p r e f e r The Godfather t o T h e
ty much defined the character for decades to
Godfather Part 2 a n d Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely
come. The characters introduced in Year One
Hearts Club Band t o The Beatles, although my
(cops, mobsters, and Gordon’s wife, and son)
favorite Beatles album remains Revolver, a n d a l l
played a major role in Jeph Loeb & Tim Sale’s IS THE BAT-MAN EVEN IN THIS ONE?, four are excellent.
The Long Halloween ( p r o b a b l y t h e b e s t r e g a r d- Courtesy of stolen pictures! Next book up: M a u s.
Page 20 Reviews
Hey, Who Ordered the Reviews?
R. A. The Rugged Man - Die Rugged Man, Die
By Vincent Michael Festa
By now, if you don’t have R.A.’s record, are. On the title track, he does play out his using the key words of “Black And White”.
or at least haven’t even heard of him through a rough-and-tumble journey where he lays down Clearly one of the best moments on the
magazine, website, or even the local press, then what he feels about what’s around him, earning album is without a doubt R.A. rhyming over a
you need to be slapped. him som e chops. Kraftwerk beat (“Trans-Europe Express”),
Here’s a hip-hop artist who has been something that no rapper should e v e n a t t e m p t t o
through everything: delays, blackballs, family do unless th ey know what they’re doing, and
t r a g e d y , i n d u s t r y g a m e s , a n d e v e n m e n t a l i l l- R.A. knows well. He also has a Fisher-Price-
ness, and yet has finally come out with his long- level kids chorus for “On The Block” while nam-
a w a i t e d n e x t a l b u m , Die Rugged Man, Die, t o t e l l ing the finer moments of what hip-hop was all
about it. There’s even a disclaimer on the front about. R.A. can also rhyme over xylophone
of the album cover that makes sure that what samples while repping and telling like it is on
you hear from the Port Jefferson rapper is the “Brawl”.
straight dope with no regrets about it. In that R.A. also has a reputation to uphold as
case, R.A. has hiltloads of credibility for the he doesn’t mind getting down and dirty, and
underground to welcome him with open arms. being a clown, as he gets Brown Bunny-ed on
Throughout the record, R.A. goes “Pick M y Gun Up”. Rounding out the album on
through many modes. Whether it’s going down “Make Luv”, he throws it back in the industry’s
memory lane, raising the flag for white rappers, face, mocking the current trends and real-
name-calling t he legends (so far, R.A.’s batting gangsta’ attitude that most mainstream rappers
1.000), and going a couple of rounds of beat- wish they could have. Hearing “Fight! Fight!
boxing, he’s going to do it with some of the Fight!” chants alternating with “Lick pussy!
slyest and funkiest beats available. And he’s Lick pussy!” is a must-hear.
got a sense of humor to keep his life-story R.A. is truly an original. He goes
interesting (check R.A. at the end of “A Star Is through some brutally honest terrain that most
Born”, calling up a mock radio call-in show giv- m a i n s t r e a m h i p - h o p a r t i s t s w ou l d h a v e t r o u b l e
ing props to himself…to save himself). backing up. And even going through the worst
Listening to R.A.’s long-awaited debut, HE SURE DON’T COTTON TO THAT RUGGED MAN, of times, he does have a sense of humor. R.A.
he wastes no time giving credit where credit is Courtesy of whoever the published of the CD is even writes obscure movie reviews for one of the
due, starting off with “Lessons”. “A Star Is b e s t s t r e e t m a g a z i n e s o u t t h e r e , M a s s A p p e a l.
Born” has R.A. spitting out horror stories of On “Chains”, R.A. spits with Killah How many hip-hop artists can h o l d i t d o w n l i k e
industry and personal double-crossing through Priest and Masta Killa of Wu-Tang Clan fame that?
mellow guitar riffs, and also showing just how over some shaky, jazzy tracks. He also spits Die Rugged Man, Die? Nah. Long live
shallow and short-sighted some hip-hop fans with Timbo King during a lyrical boxing match Rugged Man.

Review of Drew Isleib’s The Build


By Rachel Eagle Reiter
Bouncing is about dwelling in a secret T h e V i c t i m s is about a couple which goes f e e l i n g cl a u s t r o p h o b i c a n d b e i n g u n d e r a k i n d
place where it is possible to be one with the b a ck a n d forth playing victims with each other. of time-spell that distorts his perceptions of
wind and to gaze into clear water, seeing an T h e r e s u l t i s p i t y o r t e a r s o n o n e o r b o t h e n d s reality. Drinking, sleeping and dreaming are
image of one’s self. The purpose of of the relationship. When they are at loss for his forms of escape. A woman, who has the fig-
existing in this secret place is words the dramatics are likely to begin. ure of an angel in the night saves him from his
to gain perception of time by L i t t l e P e a r l is about a musician who madness by reassuring him with her presence
seeing the past with new expresses himself better in song than and words that everything really will be alright.
eyes of the future so that the in conversational discourse. He needs P i l e U p i s a b o u t t h e p o w e r t h a t i s w i t h-
past stays in its place— to play his guitar; music is better to in Mother Nature and the terror that she brings
behind us. him than any pill and elevates him t o humankind whether or not w e a r e r e a d y f o r
All or Nothing i s from his state of depression. His her changes. Mother Nature can also symbolize
about the struggle of pearl (woman in his life) is jealous a female deity, such as a goddess of sky or water
depression and facing the of his love for music. She destroys or she may represent, simply, a woman.
loneliness that often acco m- his guitar, possibly wanting him to Through the Guardrail is about an emo-
panies depression. Two peo- love her more than he tionally crashing couple. The man feels like he
p l e a r e i n a d e p r e s s i n g r e l a- loves music. can not even rescue himself because he is expe-
tionship. If the female is too W o n is about a riencing a self-inflicted gagging sensation, but
happy, the male becomes more woman who is a prize. the woman seems to need rescuing. However t he
d e p r e s s e d b e c a u s e h e i s m e a s- She is warned to be man, due to his own afflictions, can not guaran-
uring his happiness according prepared for both up tee that he will help her through this hard time
to hers. However, if the female and down time. She by holding her hand until they reach the other
becomes the opposite, too sad, then will be greatly affected by her side.
the male becomes sad also because he lover’s moods. He is likely to humble On Everyone is about the need to be
cares so deeply for the female. her because she is used to higher stimulated visually by bright colors and feel
What You were Not i s a t w i s t o n standards of living. He fears that she sensually alive as opposed to feeling like a dead
D e s c a r t e s ’ f a m o u s l i n e , “ I t h i n k GET IT? I DREW ISLEIB, will not stay with him, so he man walking, reaching for his cup of hope—java.
therefore I am.” The words to this Courtesy of Matt Willemain brings her down so low that she Pleasure is instant gratification, but leaves a
song run, “I don’t think therefore I can not go. bad aftertaste. Human emotions like pity and
am not.” The emphasis is on having a purpose Call Me in the Morning is a song about envy divide one’s soul.
for living and also on receiving recognition after two lovers in a little bit of a mental twist. The You were a Song is for after a split. The
death. male has been dishing it out and feels like a jerk departer thinks fondly of the one who he used to
W h e n t h e I n k R u n s i s a b o u t b e i n g so to feel better about himself he wants his lover spend his nights with. Indeed those nights were
weighed down, struggling to survive and feeling to give him a taste of his own medicine. He feels like sweet melodies, but he has come to the real-
s u f f o c a t e d b y p r e s e n t c i r c u m s t a n c e s . T i m e i s justified only if she does to him whatever it is ization that the song is now over and so is their
b e i n g s t o l e n a w a y w i t h t h e f e a r t h a t t h e f u t u r e that he has been doing to her. romantic, intimate relationship.
m a y no t y i e l d a l l t h a t i t i s s u p p o s e d t o . 8 Stories High is about a man who is

Reviews Page 21
Hey, Who Ordered the Reviews?
Hanson Comes to Campus, and They’re More
Than Just Dreamy
By Adina Silverbush
Hanson graced Stony Brook University and brought with them a documentary about they weren’t good enough for someone, “Jeff”,
with their presence on Sunday Nov. 6t h. That’s their struggle with the music industry. who never even played in a band. Jeff Feinster,
right, Hanson, those three brothers that sang Sick of being told by the music industry their former record executive, continued to give
“MMMBOP” when most of us were in junior high that “you are what’s wrong with your music” the Hansons non-constructive criticism
school. Their hair was long and blonde, and and tired of being made to feel inadequate throughout the documentary. Isa a c , s a i d h e f e l t
because their producers don’t understand bad for Jeff, saying, “it just wasn’t in him, he
their music, Hanson, after years without an didn’t have the music fan element.” The
album release, broke away and formed their Hansons used themselves as an example in their
own record label, 3CG. I asked Zac Hanson documentary; there are far too many musicians
what 3CG meant and he said the 3 obviously being drained by these large corporations, who
refers to the three brothers, and the CG to simply don’t get what the music is about.
car garage. He feels that music should be Ideally, they want to start a m u s i c r e v o l u t i o n
ab l e t o stand up in every situation, even with like that of the 60’s. Music is about bringing
a crappy amp and a less then ideal space. No people together, and artists shouldn’t feel
matter how much money and special effects muted because of big business.
y o u a d d to your music, in reality it all comes Whether you enjoy Hanson’s music or
down to whether the music is good. “Great not, you can’t complain about the message they
songs, great performers and passion and not are bringing. Musicians deserve free speech
production value,” he said. If you sound just like the rest of us. Their documentary was
good in a car garage then you’re good. The long, and the boys now have shorter brown hair,
band will be signing other artists to their but they still had plenty of giggling girls at
THERE IS NO “ME” IN DREAMY, label as long as they feel strongly about their Q and A at the Tabler Arts Center. Overall
Courtesy of Jowy “Fingers” Romano their music. I was impressed by how intellige n t t h e y s e e m e d ,
The Hansons really wanted to reach out p l u s t h e y t r e a t e d u s P r e s s people like real VIPs,
girls thought they were dreamy. You may have to their peers, which is why they’re coming to giving us a 20 min. private question and answer
thought they were done, now that their voices universities. They said, “we’re all the same session. Yea, I got my picture taken with them
were no longer pre-pubescent (yea I totally got people as you are and we have the pow er to too! Also, everyone who took the time to come
to use that word in two articles in a row) but change it [the music industry].” They want to out got a free copy of their new CD, except they
t hey came to Stony Brook to tell us no! Isaac save others from being subjected to what they accidentally gave us a copy of their greatest
(24), Taylor (22), and Zac (20) Hanson are back a n d m a n y other groups have suffered through; hits, and “MMMBOP” is on it, so I’m happy!

Jesu - Jesu, Heartache/Ruined


By Vincent Michael Festa
Godflesh died, so that Jesu can be born. r u m b l i n g t h u n d e r a n d c h a r g e s o n l y f o r t h e p o s- tive moments on the album when self-reflection
It makes sense, being that the album is i t i v e s o u nds to pull through again. Ironically, a n d d e s i r e a r e e v i d e n t .
full of biblical references, but by no means this i t d e a l s w i t h t h e r e m i n d e r t h a t f r i e n d s h i p d o e s- The sun sets finally as ringing feedback
is a Christian rock release. No. Would you n’t last. makes way for the darkest moments. On
think it would be when one of the members of J e s u t h e n f l o a t s t h r o u g h t h e a i r o n “Man/Woman”, Broadrick is at his most wrath-
Jesu happens to be Justin Broadrick, one of the “Tired Of Me” until it falls lightly down from f u l , t h e d r u m s d e l i v e r i n g t h e i r m o s t c r u s h i n g
founders of Napalm Death? the sky and finally relaxes on itself. blows pushing forward while guitars constantly
In any case, Jesu is the newest input Broadrick’s vocals may trudge along before mak-
from Broadrick (guitars, bass, vocals, program- sound uplifting, yet also ing a huge relentless
ming). With the help of Ted Parsons (drums, at the same time they assault. It won’t be long
percussion), Diarmuid Dalton (bass), and Paul offer a sense of yearning. before “Guardian Angel”
Neville (guitar), Jesu becomes not only a jour- The lyrics, however, are reveals itself in all of its
ney of gigantic epic proportions but also of anything but, as issues of h o r r o r , a s u g l y a n d d e v a s-
looking into the self-worth of soul. Jesu writes tolerance, dependency tating as it c a n b e .
the book on how to aurally climb the greatest issues, and uncleanliness For those who can get
ascent and suffer into the biggest downfall may make it sound like their hands on the
while lyrically and vocally getting very deep i t ’ s l e t t i n g it s e l f d o w n Japanese import version, a
and personal in 75 minutes. instead. At the halfway second disc contains two
Jesu is nothing like the speed-demon p o i n t , a s s e r t i o n , a r r o- bonus tracks, extended
dev astation of Napalm Death or the industrial gance, and blame make its versions of the first two
emer gen cy - cal i b r e so u n d o f Tech n o An i m al . presence on “We All cuts. And going back fur-
For a very low-tempo project like Jesu, it cre- Falter”, which has a stark ther, the 40-minute debut
ates and carries so much technical wizardry and and critical sound of all from Jesu,
t e r r a i n . A l t h o u g h t h e s o n i c t h e m e s a r e r u m- war n i n g . H e a r t a c h e / R u i n e d, i s j u st
bling guitars, bashing drums, confident riffs, By now Jesu makes a small test of will deliv-
and various moods of programming, Jesu man- it apparent that, in the ering two massive adven-
ages to paint different pictures on every track: f i r s t h a l f , t h e w o r d s d o JESU IS LIKE A RHOMBUS FROM ON HIGH, tures on one EP. Just as
blame, nothingness, arrogance, fault, and self- n o t m a t c h t h e c a u t i o u s l y Courtesy of www.amazon.com tough to listen to.
r e f l e c t i o n . I n e v e r y s e n s e , J e s u i s t o t a l l y f e a r- o p t i m i s t i c outlook of its Jesu, as a whole, is an
less in getting personal. sound, causing a deceitful e x c r u c i a t i n g b u t c h a l-
“Your Path To Divinity” starts off with a a t m o s p h e r e t h a t a l s o r u n s t h r o u g h m o s t o f t h e lenging listen. But once you get to know what
march of great promise and hope. From there, album. By then Jesu sonically changes gears in t h e r e a l J e s u i s a l l a b o u t , r e s t a s s u r e d y o u c a n
“Friends Are Evil” pushes through a little a m o r e c u r d l i n g , u r g e n t , a n d c r u s h i n g s e n s e become fearless. It demands a lot all the way
harder, like the sun, until it toggles itself along when “Walk On Water” comes forth very sus- through but, in the end, whatev er d o esn ’t k il l
with some very heavy black-as-night amplified p e n s e f u l . “Sun Day” brings Jesu its final posi- y o u m a k e s y o u s t r o n g e r .

Page 22 Reviews
Seawolves Men’s Soccer Holds Off Catamounts
On Senior Night
By Antony Lin
In a rematch of the 2004 America East pleased with the tackle, Kouadio got up and gave Matt Chew attempted to chip Moschella from 40
Playoffs, the Stony Brook Seawolves squared off Lynch a few shoves. Right winger/defender yards out, to no avail.
against the Vermont Catamounts. As in 2004, Zachary Norwood came over and shoved Kouadio. The Catamounts would get their best
the Seawolves defeated the Catamounts, who Defender Yahaya Musa would join in as well, as opportunity of the second half in the 71st
were ranked #19 nationally, 1-0 in front of a he and Kouadio exchanged shoves. Musa and minute. With the ball falling right to
home crowd at LaValle Stadium. Kouadio were booked by referee Hossam Saad. Crasilneck, Crasilneck made a cut to the right.
Seniors Chris Scarpati, Dorin Djura, Rob “It was an emotional game. One of their His shot from 22 yards out wo u l d sa il o n l y
Fucci, Chris Megaloudis, John Moschella, players just happened to be out of control,” said inches wide of the far right post, past a diving
Douglas Narvaez, and Mark Zajkowski were all Markovic. Moschella.
honored during the pre-game for Senior Night. On the ensuing free kick, Kouadio con- Vermont would get one last chance with
“What a way to go out,” said Scarpati. “It t i n u e d s h oving players in the box as the two seconds left off a free kick from 26 yards out.
was an all-around effort from the team tonight. linesman, Joseph Carrone and Ken Heller looked The Seawolves wall was able to do its job as time
We now have to try and take it to another level.” on. ran out.
The cold weather and occasional rain did The Seawolves had another excellent “The game was tough and tight,” said
not stop the 400 supporters from being vocal chance in the 43rd minute, off a cross from midfielder Matt Avellino. “We got ourselves a
throughout the match. Stony Brook stuck with Megaloudis on the right wing. His cross was huge result. We did what we needed to do to win.
its usual 3-5-2 formation, while Vermont used flicked on by Narvaez, which found Scarpati. Hopefully we can get another match here at
a 4-4-2. Scarpati’s touch from point blank would go just home.”
“There was fantastic fan support wide of the post. As the match ended, another brawl
tonight,” said Seawolves coach Cesar Markovic. The second half would see the broke out, started by Kouadio once again. Both
“They were into the game and it helped us a lot.” Catamounts apply more pressure to find the sides gathered to stop the confrontation. The
Stony Brook had the first opportunity of equalizer. Despite a talk from Vermont head affair ended as Kouadio ran and h i d b e h i n d s e v-
the game in the 5th minute off a set piece on the coach Jesse Cormier, Kouadio looked to provoke eral Vermont players.
left. Midfielder Michael Palacio’s service found things for the third time in the second half by The matched marked the first time the
Megaloudis, whose header would sail just high running into Moschella, long after Moschella Seawolves were victorious over a ranked team.
and wide of the near post. c l a i m e d t h e bal l . The h ome s i de’s s upport e rs “We came out and put forth a special
Midfielder and forward Pete Halkidis began jeering each time Kouadio touched the effort,” said Markovic. “We played the 19th
would end up netting the game-winner for his ball. team in the country and we knocked them off.”
first collegiate goal in the 21st minute. Off a I n the 59th minute, left winger Tamer With the victory, Stony Brook improves
short corner, Narvaez touched it to Palacio, who Mohamed nearly made it 2-0 off a lackadaisical to 4-1-1 in America East, and 9-3-3 overall.
returned it to Narvaez. Narvaez sent an inswing- play by goalkeeper Tom Critz. Mohamed’s chip Vermont fell to 3-3-1 and 10-4-2.
ing low cross finding Halkidis from 12 yards pass into the box, which took quite a hop due to “It was a great win, an emotional win,”
out. Halkidis’ one-timer found the back of the the wet surface, slipped through the hands of said Markovic. “I thank [the seniors] for every-
net for the 1-0 lead. C r i t z , n e arly sneaking into to the near post. thing. I am extremely proud of them.”
“It was a tough game and an important Two minutes later, Vermont defender
one,” said Halkidis. “The goal
was my first collegiate goal. It
was a play that we practiced on
throughout.”
Three minutes later, the
visitors would come back with
thei r first opportunity of the
match. Defender Justin Geibel
m a d e a c u t t o h i s r i g h t a n d b e n d-
ed a shot from 24 yards out just
wide of the far post.
Vermont’s best chance of
the game would come in the 25th
minute. An attempted clearance
deep in the back deflected off of
Geibel. The ball sprung towards
goal from point blank, forcing
Moschella to make a fantastic
reflex save.
The visitors would
threaten again in the 32nd
minute. Off a turnover at mid-
field, forward Jordan Crasilneck
shot one from the right wing
within 18 yards out, which was
denied by a diving Moschella.
Things would get quite
physical starting from the 41st
minute on. Defender Martin
Lynch’s attempt to win the ball
from striker Lee Stephane
Kouadio, who was not wearing
his normal jersey number for the
night, resulted in a foul. Not

Sports Page 23
Examination of a Common Lie
(Bitterness Ensues) By Alison Schwartz
“How are you?” ing time and I wish I could be you just for one know how you feel and why. Deal with it.
It’s such a simple question, but there’s a d a y . This question is a force of nature, like
choice you have to make when you answer: to lie But those people aren’t me. I wasn’t born urinating, maybe. “How are you?” Why even ask
o r t e l l t h e t r u t h . D o e s a n y o n e r e a l l y t e l l t h e that way. I ache, I bleed, I scream, I rant and it if you don’t really want to know, you just want
truth when it comes to that question, or do they rave, I explode, I melt, I disintegrate, I succumb to be told what you want to hear? Do I plaster on
say what everyone wants to hear? It’s truly t o t h e i n n e r d a r k n e s s w i t h i n . I s m i l e a n d l a u g h a fake grin and tell people at work that I’m good
mechanical, automatic. In fact, you probably when I feel like it, not when others want me to when I’m as low as the fucking ground? Of
don’t even think about your course. Guilty as charged. I’m a
answer before it flows from phony . A s ha m. A h y p o c r i t e .
your lips: “I’m But that’s how you get by
good/fine/OK/pretty good.” in this world, right? You bend
Do es an y o n e r eal l y ca r e the truth. You wear a mask.
how you are, or is it just a cour- People like co n s i s t e n c y . T h e y
tesy question, as automatic as a don’t like change. They don’t
comment on the weather, know how to react to reality.
meant to mask reality? People are plastic. They want to
No one wants to hear h e a r t h a t e v e r y t h i n g i s f a b u-
that you’re dying inside, that lous in the world and that life
you’re struggling to stay afloat. is wonderful, because how do
That you have so much inner they react to the truth? They
rage that you want to take a crumble. They don’t know how
brick and destroy something to react. “I’m sorry to hear
beautiful (why does that sound that.” Bullshit. You just care
familiar...?). That you cracked about yourself. You’ve been
your tooth on a half-empty programmed to say stuff like
glass, tripped on your that whenever you hear bad
shoelace, swallowed your gum, news. And then people treat
and stepped in dog excrement y o u d i f f e r e n t l y a n d a r e a w k-
a l l i n t h e s p a n o f t w e n t y m i n- ward around you because
utes. You’d be a whiner, a you’re some de p r e s s i v e i n v a l i d
downer, brewer of social dis- that doesn’t know how to smile
comfort (anything but that!). or something.
The closest you can You tell t h e t r u t h o n e
come to a real answer without day, creating fear (without hav-
p e o p l e l o o k i n g s h o c k e d o r MR. BEAR, YOU DO NOT CARE, YOU’RE THINKING, “DID I BRUSH MY HAIR?” ing to become the drooling zom-
a p p a l l e d o r s t u n n e d i s “ I ’ v e Courtesy of Matt Willemain bie that consumes brains for
been better.” Does that really a f t e r - s c h o o l s n a c k s ) , a n d s u d-
efficiently convey inner turmoil? For some peo- feel like it. I’m too analytical not to observe this denly you’re an outcast. Well, ladies and gents,
ple “I’m good/great” IS the honest answer to that c o n s t a n t t r e n d a n d I b e l i e v e t h e s u s t a i n i n g o f I ’ d r a t h e r b e a n h o n e s t o u t c a s t t h a n a p o p u l a r
question. And I’m happy for you. I applaud you such served as breeding ground for the emo- l i a r ( I r e a l i z e t h a t c l o s i n g l i n e s a r e s u p p o s e d t o
h a p p y - g o - l u c k y w i n n e r s t h a t l e a d s u c h a tionless drones that walk the earth (Dawn of the b e s t a r k , i n s p i r i n g r e v e l a t i o n s , b u t I t h i n k I ’ v e
c h a r m e d e x i s t e n c e . Y o u a r e t r u l y b l e s s e d w i t h Dead, anyone?). failed miserably). Adieu, my minions (and don’t
the fortune of being happy (or being a good If I ask how you are, I care enough to ask ask me how I am unless you want to know next
enough actor to feign being happy) all the fuck- and I want more than a single word. I want to t i m e , p u n k s ! ) .

Young Girl
By Jo Ann Campise
All of a sudden, the songs sound like Attach? Sometimes, I see people holding hands
o r c h e s t r a t e d o r g a s m s . T h e g r a s s a p p e a r s g r e e n- and they are look ing in opposite directions – not
e r - a l t h o u g h e v e r y t h i n g l o o k s g r e e n e r w h e n j u x- even talking – it becomes a leash, a habit, it
taposed with the black hole. The dip of empti- becomes boring. Hands are what you use to
ness – well, not empty – just finished. And it is reach, touch, and hold people (notice I didn’t
a new day for you. Full of possibilities. You put say things – that’s a whole other issue I’ll get
your best smiling face on – and not because I into another time).
told you to, but because you just can’t stop A palm reader once told me I had good
laughing. Because everything is great. And why palms – he said all the people in my life now are
shouldn’t it be? And then your mind starts to like running water – and I’ll fin d t h e r e a l p e r-
wander and you drift away. son of my dreams at age 26. He said I’d be suc-
I carry 3 lucky charms with me – sou- cessful at age 36 and well-established in my
venirs of great times – actually-fuckin’ good career at 40-something. I would have 1 child
times. Times where I feel like I am sitting in most likely – maybe 2. Maybe. He said to write
front of a mirror staring my soul in the eyes. things down and stay focused.
I’ll tell you about soul – when your soul is sat- Now, I don’t know if I believe him – I
isfied everything and is in tune. You can be believe that it sounds like the average American
with a ton of people but you sigh on the inside girl’s life. But I’ve got a little secret – I’m not.
a n d y o u r eyes flutter. See, I don’t believe you Its possible that this could happen – this
need to just be with one person – if you are in old Indian man gave me insight on one path my
love with that person you can be with 100 peo- life might follow – I might do something else –
ple...at a time. And yet when you are with that DAYDREAMING but its only by choice, not by chance. Because,
one person you know it all just feels real good. Courtesy of handholders anonymous no matter how you live your life you will always
Hmm... I’d better start thinking about that live it perfectly, because it is your life, and
shit for school that’s due... hmm... some photo Now I’m daydreaming. The clouds are only you can have this life. Even if you don’t
p r i n t s . S o m e p r i n t m a k i n g p r i n t s , a n d s o m e p h i- really cool shapes. I am losing focus. achieve what you strive for as perfection, you
losophy studing… ugh. You know, I think I feel Your hands aren’t hands. They are a body. h o l d y o u r l i f e in the palm of your hand. I hap-
more euphoric when I don’t think about that What’s it mean when you walk around campus pen to be holding a cigarette, which I’m going to
s t u f f , w h e n I just feel. holding your lover by the hand? Do you think go smoke now.
they will run away? Do you need to connect?
Page 24 Insights and Personal Exposition
It’s Funny Becuase It’s True. slapped with a whip? It hurts! “courtship” always, what’s that word, crazy?
So now it’s mid-semester – another word Eventually, after all of the desperation The guy is afraid to say something wrong
for this is ‘midterm’. The word ‘midterm’ is and searching (oh and you’ve searched far and because she’ll snap and then cause another
appropriate because it tells you two simple wide, you even tried to get that cute blind girl relationship fight. It’s you against the big dou-
words in one word. It is the middle of the term, to like you for “you”) you find a mate. You get ble standard monster where it’s o k i f s h e d oe s
hence midterm. If it were two weeks into the that mate of your dreams and you’re so happy things but fucked up if you do it. You know what
semester then it wouldn’t be mid-term, it would that you feel like t he world couldn’t get any bet- I’m talking about, there are certain things that
be two weeks into school. Keeping this in mind, ter. a girl can say that if a guy were to do it, she
I don’t understand why teachers like to call The beginning of a relationship is would flip. For example, one day my girlfriend
their exams a “ midterm”. If you have four tests always so nice and sweet. You guys are like “oh said, “Wow, that guy is hot.” I didn’t think any-
in a class and each one is called a midterm, then hey, how was your day… You’re so funny you thing much of it and simply said “ok.” A few
I believe there is something wrong with your crack me up you silly goose… oh don’t say that days later, I pointed out a girl was hot… bad
grammar. Two weeks into a class is not midway, about yourself you will always be pretty to me.” idea. She turned into a transformer. You know
it’s not the center of the term, nor is it middle. You and your new favorite mate are holding those innocent looking trucks that turn into
If the semester is a piece of paper and you fold hands everywhere you go, showing PDA (Public killing machines, that’s what she mutated into
it in half you would not get a symmetrical fig- Displays of Affection) to the point where you right in front of my eyes. I had to find a shield
ure, no- it would be uneven. In order to solve n e e d o t h e r p e o p l e t o c e n s o r y o u f o r i n a p p r o p r i- to block the torturous tumult. I like that
this problem of epidemic proportions I have ate behavior. You know, the PDA goes out of expression because of the T’s. Go ahead, read
defined a new classification system to solve this h a n d w h e n you end up missing your stop on the that line aloud for a second and say “torturous
confusion and utter deviations from proper LIRR, naked, and in a remote part of Long Island, tumult.” Don’t worry if anyone around you is
grammar. Assuming you have a class with four trying to explain to the conductor why you were wondering why you’re talking to yourself just
exams, the most appropriate word for the first tell them it’s because you had t o s a y “ t o r t u r o u s
exam is a ‘quarterm’, since it is taken during tumult.” And the n, encourage whoever is next to
the first “quarter” of the semester. The next you to say it too, it’s simple and rolls beauti-
test can be the beloved ‘midterm’, a test smack fully right off the tongue, torturous tumult.
dab in the middle of the semester. Then you fin- No matter what I said, she always had a
ish it off with another ‘quarter-term’ and then “torturous tumult”. If a beautiful girl ever
finally- the dreaded final. needed CPR and I was the only person around
No matter what term it is, I’ve been par- that was certified in CPR and gave the girl
tying more often this semester, so that means mouth to mouth, she would seriously say, “so
I’ve been drunk on many occasions. It’s weird did you enjoy kissing that other girl? I know
because no matter how drunk you are, there is you jumped to give her mouth to mouth so you
always a sober part of your brain that sits back can have an excuse for kissing someone else, I’m
and watches you make a fool out of yourself. It’s just not good enough for you, maybe if I had
like while you drink you give your brain the plastic surgery you would notice me more!”
night off and it sits there eating popcorn and Girls, you deny it, but you know- it’s true. You
watches your every move. I’m sure you all can let the insecurities get the best of you.
relate – it’s that little voice that’s like, “Oh Mo, [Most] girls have no reasoning, they don’t
you dumb fuck, go ahead see what happens if believe in it. When God was making woman he
you step on the gas harder, come on… OHHHHH, must have said “Reasoning? Ha! They don’t need
hahaha I knew it you dumb fuck, you’re so that.” I have no dou bt that the female sex gets
drunk.” And it’s weird because while you’re mad on a whim. Just a random urge every now
drunk you can actually HEAR this voice. Your and then to cause another tumult. On some
drunken ass body is aware of the sober mind’s mornings girls wake up and say to themselves,
presence but it ignores it. Your body says, “I HA HA HA “Hmm, what am I going to do today, I know- I’ll
know I’m wasted, voice of reason... but I’m still Courtesy of Matt Willemain a pick a fight with my boyfriend and get him
going to do it anyway, I’m going to take advan- really mad.” They work out the d e ta il s as t h ey
tage of that drunken girl.” caught doing reverse cowgirl in the middle of brush their teeth, they have it elaborately set
Right now I want to talk about something the car. up so that you fall into the trap and when you
else – females. Females are what I like to call, an But then, but THEN – your new mate least suspect it, they get you! The fight is never
‘enigma’. An enigma is defined as “somebody or changes. You guys are together for a while and over. There is no other way to explain it. I think
something that is not easily explained or then all of a sudden the niceness just evapo- girlfriends lie in bed after a lon g d a y o f f i g h t-
understood.” If I were the author of a thesaurus, r a t e s , i t d i s s i p a t e s , f o r u s e o f a n o t h e r a p p r o p r i- ing and think to themselves “That was a really
a synonym for ‘enigma’ would be ‘female.’ Let me ate synonym. What used to be a singing dove has great fight, what should I fight about tomorrow?
tell you why females are such enigmas. You may turned into an evil crazy three-headed monster. Maybe I’ll tell him he blinke d h i s e y e s t h e
not agree, but I’m going to address my issue Emphasis on the three heads mind you, because wrong way.” I don’t know why they do it, like I
anyway because I know a lot of guys out there she’s not as crazy as a regular monster, that said – females are an enigma: the unsolvable
can relate on what I like to call “solving the would be an understatement, no – she is as crazy puzzle of the universe.
unsolvable puzzle,” a.k.a. “a relationship.” as a monster with three heads. Then suddenly Then comes the break-up. Breaking up is
Since I just came out of a pretty long relation- you go from “I want to be with you for the rest the worst part because no matter how much
ship I am doing my part for society in con- of my life” to “FUCK! What did I get myself anger there is in the relationship, you always
tributing my theories on this enigma and maybe into??? This crazy bitch gets mad if I say ‘hello’ want to end it peacefully. What’s the most com-
one day they will help us g et closer to the solu- the wrong way!” mon thing people say when t h e y b r e a k u p ?
tion. In my last relationship I said this to my “Baby, it’s not you – it’s me.” Bullshit, of course
You see, when a person is single long girlfriend, “Hey.” Now it seems harmless since it’s “you,” because if it wasn’t “you,” then I
enough they lose control. We say things like, i t i s a s t a ndard greeting among English speak- wouldn’t be trying to leave “you.” The only time
“Oh man... oh man, oh man, oh man... I need a e r s l i v i n g i n A m e r i c a , b u t t o h e r i t w a s u n a c- that works is if one of the mates decides that
girlfriend! I can’t go on ONE MORE DAYYY with- ceptable: “What? That’s it? Just hey? You don’t they are g ay, in that case it’s not “you.”
out a girl in my life!” In their eyes, life begins ask me how I am or give me a hug and kiss? Unfortunately that’s not how it hap-
to suck and seeing everyone else with a partner Whatever, I guess you don’t even like me any- pened for me. We were having this heated fight
just adds salt to the wounds. It feels like you more.” How do you respond to that? “Uh… I um, one time and I got so mad at her, I said, “Fuck
just got a huge gash in your chest and someone apple.” Because nothing can go wrong with you I’m going before I do something really bad,
dropped you in a sea of salty water and then, apple, who doesn’t like apples? No one, apple is like dump you!” And she softly said, “No Mo,
immediately after, you get slapped right across just a safe word. It’s over…” then I paused and thought – “SWEET!
the chest, with a whip. Have you ever been Is it just me or is the female half of a I DIDN’T HAVE TO DO IT!”

Column-in’ Page 25
SBU-TV Lineup
Monday & Tuesday A Message from the Producer of the
5:00
5:30
-
5:30: World Business
-
6:00: Think Talk Campus Cooking Show, Who is Not
Nearly as Talented as the Host
6:00 -
9:00: National Lampoon
9:00 -
9:30: Cooking: for
Those Who Don’t By David K. Ginn
Know How to Message: The Stony Brook 6. When the oven timer goes beep more. The smell is the absolute
Cook campus cooking show, beep beep it’s time to start cooking most inviting cooking smell you will
9:30 - 10:00: Ski & Snow Cooking: for Those Who Don’t the meat. S e t t h e o v e n t i m e r f o r create. Truly. Mmmmm....
Know How to Cook, airs on another eight minutes after it 9. When the oven timer goes beep
10:00 - 12:00: Seawolves SBU-TV channel 20 _______ g o e s o f f. Then take a big-ass fry- beep beep yet again it’s time to add
Sports ing pan, the biggest you can find, some cheese, bitch! Take that fuck-
12:00 - 12:30: Ski & Snow and put it over the big-ass burner. ing pan out of the oven, lay it some-
Recipe for Fucking Awesome Take as much meat as will comfort- where where it won’t ruin things,
12:30 - 1:00: Broken Radio ably fit on the pan, with enough especially unsuspecting, innocent
1:00 - 2:00: In Focus Cheese Fries room to break it up and stir it later, flesh. Coat it with half a bag of each
2:00 - 4:00: USG Senate and put that meat on that fucking cheese, making sure that just about
Ingredients: the entire surface is
4:00 - 4:30: Late Night with covered. If you use a
Beverly Bryan One bag of French fries
bit more now it’s okay.
Chop meat
4:30 - 5:00: The Silly Spider Put that shit back in
Cooking spray
the oven when you’re
Monkey Fiasco Garlic powder
done.
5:00 - 5:30: Ghoul a Go-Go One small bag of shred-
10. Stir that fucking
ded cheddar cheese
5:30 - 6:00: Ski & Snow One small bag of shred-
meat.
11. W h e n c h e e s e h a s
ded Monterey jack cheese
begun to melt about
Wednesday & Thursday One small bag of shred-
halfway, it’s about
ded mozzarella cheese
t i m e t o a d d y o u r d e l i-
One tablespoon of love
5:00 - 5:30: Ski & Snow ciously c o o k e d g a r l i c
meat. Make sure you
5:30 - 6:00: Broken Radio Directions: taste it first to test its
6:00 - 6:30: Think Talk 4. Once all the Jews are
garlicness. If it is not
6:30 - 7:00: World Business garlicky enough, feel
slaughtered, you may try
free to add a bit more
7:00 - 8:00: In Focus to invade France. If need
powder and stir it in
8:00 - 10:00: USG Senate be, substitute methane
before applying to the
gas for cyanide. Once
10:00 - 11:30: Indi Film fries. Also remember
you’ve created your
that ‘it s ’ i s t h e p o s s e s-
11:30 - 12:00: Clips & Quips ‘final solution’, you can-
sive form of the pro-
12:00 - 12:30: Late Night with ...
noun ‘it’ and ‘it’s’ is
Beverly Bryan Nope. Wrong book. MMMM...LET IT DRIP IN YOUR MOUTH the contraction of ’it
Courtesy of Gluttony and Lust is’. Don’t ever confuse
12:30 - 1:00: Cooking: for those, or I shall turn
Those Who Ah! Here it is!
you into a eunuch.
Don’t Know How 1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
pan. 12. Add the rest of the cheese even-
to Cook 7. When meat starts to sizzle, it is ly over the freshly applied meat.
2. Spray a large cookie sheet evenly
time to break it up. Do it. Use your After everything is done and taken
1:00 - 3:00: Seawolves Sports with cooking spray and lay fries in
spatula and give it hell. Break it up care of, place the entire pan of fries
a s i n g l e l a y e r.
3:00 - 3:30: Ski & Snow 3. Spray fries lightly with cooking
into taco meat, bitch. back in the oven and wait for the
3:30 - 4:00: Think Talk 8. When the meat begins to brown cheese to melt above the meat. When
spray.
just a little bit, but with still a lot this happens, you’ve scored. Take
4:00 - 4:30: Late Night with 4. Heat the largest top burner on the
of raw and sizzling goods, coat all that pan out, and place it on heat
Beverly Bryan oven to 7 .
the meat evenly with a layer of gar- protector thingies on your kitchen
5 . On ce o v en i s p r e- heated (that
4:30 - 5:00: The Silly Spider lic powder. Make sure the top sur- or dining room table. Let your com-
annoying little beep that happens),
face is covered. Then begin to stir it mie side come and out and use
Monkey Fiasco put the pan of fries in the oven.
in, using the meat’s own grease to knives and forks with your friends
5:00 - 5:30: Ghoul a Go Go Make a note of the time, and set the
create a marinade. Stir it very well, and dig the fuck in.
oven timer for eight minutes.
5:30 - 6:00: Ski & Snow until you can’t see the powder any-

Friday, Saturday & Sunday

5:00 - 7:00: USG Senate


7:00 - 9:00: Seawolves Sports
9:00 - 12:00: National
Lampoon
12:00 - 1:30: Indi Film
1:30 - 2:00: Clips & Quips
2:00 - 3:00: In Focus
3:00 - 3:30: World Business
3:30 - 4:00: Think Talk
4:00 - 4:30: Late Night with
Beverly Bryan
4:30 - 5:00: The Silly Spider
Monkey Fiasco
5:00 - 5:30: Ghoul a Go Go
5:30 - 6:00: Ski & Snow
20
Page 26 SBU-TV
The Reformation in Central Kentucky
Scintillates
By James Messina
Cryptography is useful for everybody. TBS copycat-killer detective movie kind of way). I’ll give some links worth checking out if you’re
It’s a real passion for two types of people: para- The Zodiac Killer had eight definite victims, and more interested in the Zodiac Killer. A high
noiacs and voyeurs. Sure, there are electronic boasted to have many more. Included in his let- school teacher named Donald Harden ended up
freedom fighters seeking to fight for their t e r s t o t h e p o l i c e w e r e d e ta i l s o f t h e m u r d e r s crac king three of his ciphers. Maybe you’ll have
rights, there are online outlaws trying to evade only the killer would know, taunts, threats, more luck and finally solve the case, right?
the long arm of the law, and there are any other and… code!
number of people who would find cryptography In the next issue, I’ll include more on
useful in their everyday lives. I give credit to the role of cryptography in treasure hunting
t h e p ar an o i acs an d t h e v o y e u r s t h o u g h , b ecau se and suchlike. But for now, I’m going to move on
they split crypto into a useful dichotomy. The to the solving of the last puzzle.
paranoiac doesn’t want to be found out, and the
voyeur wants to find. This is the very essence P U Z Z L E T H E 4T H:
of cryptography, but it applies to much more. 3+6+2+13+3+2+18-10+19+0+23-8+26-
F a m i l i a r w i t h Mortal Kombat 2? You know the 15+34
guy who says, “Toast-y!” when you do a good
uppercut? That’s Dan Forden, a lead program- I hinted that the puzzle wasn’t too difficult, and
mer on the game. And on most DVDs there are indeed, it wasn’t. Of course, once again I say
h i d d e n f e a t u r e s o n l y a c c e s s i b l e b y m a n i p u l a t- this with full knowledge of the code I’m about to
ing the title menu. Things like these are break, so for you the answer might not have been
referred to as “easter eggs” and are especially as easily won. The trick to this code was just to
popular in movies and games. See? It applies a read it as it came, I didn’t try to jazz things up
lot of places. too much. 3 + 6 = 9. The ninth letter is “i”.
There you are. Then for the next letter, you add
The two broad categories of finder and 6 + 2 = 8 = “h”. It follows similarly in an iter-
hider don’t always apply, however. Some serial ative method until you arrive at the message: “I
k i l l e r s / s p r e e c r i m i n a l s p u r p o s e l y h i d e i n f o r- hope this w orks”. If indeed it didn’t work, you
mation with every intention of being found. The can email me at longinquous@yahoo.com with
criminals I mention below may or may not have complaints. Or requests for plaintext to my
actually wanted to be caught; two of their iden- grand code. Or with salutations… God, I’m so
tities remain unknown, and who am I to read lonely. Of course, with the fine folk at the Press
i n t o t h e i r m o t i v e s ? B u t t h e f a c t t h a t t h e y t a u n t- to keep me company I’m not actually lonely, but
ed the authorities is a certainty, and a good I was dead serious about needing some curious
example that there are exceptions. In Victorian mathematically inclined folk to solve my code.
England, a killer known as Jack the Ripper had If you fit the bill, e-mail me, it’s no hassle. That
a spree in 1888. He is known to have killed five being said, here comes the official fifth puzzle.
prostitutes, and many others are suspected of ZODIAC KILLER CYPHER Word.
having died by his hand. He wrote letters to the Courtesy of one sick bastard
police taunting them, and mentioning details P U Z Z L E T H E 5T H:
about his killings. Half a century later in the The traditional government stance on The hat is a sissy, the moan ululatd. Am
‘40’s and ‘50’s, a criminal named George c r y p t o g r a p h y i s t h a t i t b e l o n g s w i t h t h e g o v e r n- newt to see to Bullmopp. Or yam on
Metesky, and popularly dubbed “The Mad m e n t , a n d that the people should feel compliant mutt?
Bomber”, placed bombs throughout New York a n d s e c u r e a b o u t t h i s . T h e t r a d i t i o n a l g o v e r n-
City. He included cryptic messages referring to ment argument for this is that if strong crypto
a vengeance against Consolidated Edison, and falls into the hands of criminals or terrorists Zodiak Killer Links (for those who enjoy typing
threats to injure people if they weren’t brought the government won’t be able to protect us. elaborate key sequences):
to justice. It took the combined efforts o f the Ordinarily, I’m inclined to scoff at such argu- http://www.crimelibrary.com/serial_killers/n
New York City Police and the esteemed Dr. ments, but the Zodiac Killer has evaded capture otorious/zodiac/river_1.html
James Brussel to bring him to justice in 1957. to this day, and some of his ciphers are http://www.zodiackiller.com/Letters.html
Moving forward in time to a lesser degree this unsolved despite the fact that they’re no more http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zodiac_killer
time we come to my favorite, the Zodiac Killer complex than the homophonic ciphers which I
(And no, he’s not my favorite in some lameass mentioned last issue. At the end of this article

Pop Goes the Weasel


By David K. Ginn
Yeah. That little fucker goes pop.

Editor’s Note:
Can’t argue that point...

...pop

WATCH ME GO P O P
Courtesy of Matt Willemain

Da Funny Page 27
Sweating
By Jeremy Falletta
I’m sitting in class and all the windows There’s a garbage can propping the door I’m going down hard but it’s not me, I’m
a r e o p e n a n d i t ’ s J a n u a r y a n d i t ’ s c o l d e r t h a n open, a little guy, and I’m trying to maneuver still watching from over there. Suddenly there’s
the arctic in here and I can’t stop sweating. It’s my way around it and it’s not working. I can’t this dull flaring pain in my side and I’m not at
b e e n s i x h o u r s s i n c e I f i x e d a n d I ’ m s t a r t i n g t o lift my leg high enough to get it over the little my desk anymore, I’m lying on the floor between
get the shakes. My eyelids are fluttering. bastard and my stomach is gurgling now and I’m the classroom and the hallway and I’m scram-
I need to get out of here. If I bling to get up. Some of my fellow
have to listen to one more droning s t u d e n t s a r e s n i c k e r i n g a n d m y p r o-
undergraduate commentary on fessor’s face, I know without seeing
female infidelity in Jacobean plays it, is ashen.
I’m going to tear my hair out. I I’m running down the hall
think the girl sitting next to me is and the door swings shut behind me
noticing that I’m acting strange. I in the absence of the little garbage
need to fix. I need to get out of here. can that I hate so dearly at this
It’s 3:50 and my guy won’t moment. The door it clangs shut and
be around until at least 7. I’m it’s so loud it startles me and I jump.
thinking about hitting the street I’m concentrating on trying not to
and seeing what I can scrounge up trip over my untied shoelaces and
- I don’t like going to another my stomach is doing somersaults and
pusher, but it’s getting really bad. I just know I’m going to puke. My
Last time I fixed, it didn’t last skin is clammy and I c a n f e e l t h e b i l e
nearly as long as it usually does. I working its way up my esophagus
need to score, and I need it now. and I don’t have much time to get out-
I’m getting more sidelong side.
glances from the over interested The door at the end of the
girl next to me. I think her name is hallway is painted this brilliant red
Maria, but I wouldn’t put any stock and it has white lettering across it
in my memory of such a trivial and there’s something funny about it
thing. She’s openly staring at me but I can’t quite place it an d I keep
now and I’m rubbing my neck like I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW, running because there’s nowhere
an addict and what I really want to Courtesy of Modern Pharmacology else to go. I hit the door running and
do is roll up my goddamn sleeve I’m through and the sunshine is
and scratch the inside of my elbow so this fuck- s w e a t i n g bullets and I can’t turn around no not hurting my eyes something wicked.
ing itch goes away. But it won’t go away. It never now turning around is not an option, I need to And then it hits me, I know what was
goes away, except when I f ix. get out of this door. So of course I see myself funny about the door as I stand there scratching
I ’ m s t i l l s i t t i n g t h e r e b u t I f e e l m y b o d y kicking the goddamn thing and it’s falling over the inside of my elbow through my sleeve and
getting up and I’m twitching now and I feel and it’s banging on the ground and there are before I know it the alarm is going off, loud and
m y s e l f w a l k i n g t h r o u g h t h e d e s k s t o w a r d t h e fucking soda cans - soda cans! - in the pail and obnoxious and reminding me of the headache
back and I feel the professor’s eyes on my back they’re clattering all over the linoleum floor of I’ve been trying to ignore for the past hour. It
and oh god she knows, she knows I’m a user and the classroom. Everyone is turning around, see- sounds like some kind of dying duck, trying to
she’s going to say something about it. My legs ing what I see from my empty desk, and oh my bark quack his way into hell or wherever ducks
keep moving and I’m watching myself walk out god Jesus fuck I’m tripping. I’m stumbling and go when they die and get it over with already.
from my empty desk. I’m going to fall.

THE STONY BROOK PRESS

Editor’s Note:
What do you know? It’s back by popular demand. Editorial Space. You
all know you wanted to see it. Don’t deny it. You love the Editorial
Space, you need it. This awkward space was brought to you by random WE HAVE YOUR GRATUITOUS
article sizes. I will now write whatever is said to me next:
SLAVE GIRL, AND IF YOU WANT
“Shot through the heart and you’re too late.
You give love a bad name.” HER BACK, COME AND GET HER.
Bon Jovi is on and he speaks to me.
MEETINGS WEDNESDAYS AT 1 pm
STUDENT UNION ROOM 060
Page 28 Ways to cool off the human body
Ask Amberly Jane
Let’s talk confessions. normalcy. All I can draw from is my own scato- you, e-mail me if you get a chance and I’ll
Everyone has these greasy little devils logical trip down the gravy train. (God, that’s sketch some of you if you like.
lighting afire the inner Chantilly lace. Secrets disgusting. Why do I write these things?) P.A.
that blow holes through your ‘normal’ veneer. Here’s some confessions for you: Most
Old ghosts; Snickering skeletons. You want to d a y s I w i l l f u l l y h a l l u c i n a t e . I r i d e a r o u n d c a m-
squeeze them up inside, squeeze so hard they pus on my bike, imagining the people around me AJ,
extinguish out your fingers, and forget about breaking into dance numbers, and then fellating Long-time reader, first-time writer. I
them completely – but you can’t. The memories each other on the street, while ribbons of taffy jerk off a lot. Sometimes five, six times a day.
lurk like prowling pirates in the shadows. They c u m sp o o l around everyone in orgasmic rapture. I’m not seeking advice or anything, I just want-
lurk like rogue el ephants amongst gazelles. Bit of a romp, aye! ed to tell you that your picture didn’t help.
They lurk like the awkward face-touching guy I confess: that I realize it’s over – Thanks.
at last night’s party. because I’m not the type you bring home to HandsAcrossTheNation
Maybe you secretly hate your best mother.
friend and want them to fail, or found your I confess: it would be hot to fuck a guy
mom’s dildo, and used it. Or cheated, that’s a big who has just gotten into a fight, with a black eye, I’m glad I could be of service.
one. Stolen garbage from someone famous. Hurt swollen lip, bloody knuckles... Good Glory, it deserves mentioning that
others, or privately delighted in their pain. And I confess that someday I would love Mr. Breath of fresh air, tasty energy himself,
Maybe you rolled your brother’s hamster down to have sex on a school bus. I also confess that I strolled back into town. The load is lighter with
the hallway like a bowling ball ... and it died. had a pretty fucking wonderful threesome the you here, my friend.
P oked a retarded kid. Rang in the new year in other night. (The compliments were unneces- Keep the letters coming...
t h e s a m e f a s h i o n a s m a n y A m e r i c a n s : m a s t u r- sary, but thank you.) AskAmberlyJane@hotmail.com
b a t i n g a l o n e w i t h c r a p p y m u s i c o n i n t h e b a c k- Yes. Confess. Unburden your soul. Be
ground. Put a carrot up your ass or a cucumber accepting of other’s deviations. Raise your
i n y o u r s n a t c h . O r w a t c h e d a s y o u r d r u n k p r o- moistened hands, grab your hamsters, shove the
fessor jerked off on your floor. carrot a little higher, smoke grandma’s pot, and
Guess which confessions are mine. jerk-off to visions of stabbing your boss in the
T h e i m p e t u s f o r t h i s d i s c u s s i o n : I h a p- eye with a pen.
pened upon grouphug.us, an anonymous online Yay for deviance!
confessional. People do some crazy fucked-up
shit. Like the girl who, instead of using tampons
or pads, uses bread. The dude who really likes Amberly Jane,
the taste of his own cum. A guy who cried while I j ust wanted to say thanks, yes INDEED,
watching a tire commercial. Those who have thank you for the porn! It’s up on my wall, and I
i t c h y c r o t c h e s , a r e s c a r e d o f f r u i t , s p e n d g r a n d- took another one for my friends wall. Well Done.
ma’s money on pot, hate their lives and dream of We all need more penetration in our lives!
stabbing their bosses in the eye with a pen. Ducky88
Many people feel unloved, inadequate, insecure
... and addic ted to socially-unacceptable porn.
There are those who wish for simplicity in a AJ,
complicated world, and one truly sad soul whose Why is OK that we vote for our ‘leaders’,
greatest moments in life have been with heroin. go off and die and kill for our country - but we
It’s an addicting website, always some- can’t have a drink?!? I know this is not sex
one’s car crash to witness. But these miles of related, but it pisses me off , and I’m just put-
confessions drive home several points: ting it out there. (Don’t know if you’ll print
1)Deviance is more normal than you might this, fuck it.)
think, oxymoron be damned. 2)Embrace your Oh, thanks for the nudie pic last week!
inner freak – there is a lways someone more ( W a y t o t e l l t h e s e n a t e t h e y s h o u l d t r y t h e p o s i-
fucked up than you. 3)This universal fucked- tion btw.) I have no sex happening right now, so
up’ness could help with social relations. Like – jolt to the pecker was appreciated.
I’m fucked up, you’re fucked up. Let’s be fucked Calypso Joe
together, and fuck!
But navigating our varied dynamics is a
bitch. Many times the ones that you love, and Amberly Jane,
the ones that love you are not the same. I don’t I met you at a press meeting this one
know what to tell you. Humans are a wily bunch, time and I realy wanted to ask you if that was
even when we get what we think we want, shit your real eye color. It’s bloody amazing.
f a l l s a p a r t . W e a r e f l u i d c r e a t u r e s w h o a r e c u r i- Remember me, I drew the erotic renaissance- LOVINGLY DUBBED THE “DOUBLE HELIX”,
ous and kinky, but we pretend to adhere to false style p encil drawings. It was good talking to Courtesy of Miss Amberly Jane

Amberly Jane Page 29


Sex and the Brook
By Rudy Randall
Shots, Oreos and Quiet Study Rooms, Oh “How much do you love this jacket?” person. In just a short couple of hours, it was
My! Alicia asked. party time.
“It’s cute,” Lynn said. The whole gang gathered for the celebration.
There is one time a year where you can “It’s very bright,” I said. John, Charlie, Ed, I, Maria, Becky, Alicia, Lynn,
get as fucked up, and get fucked, as much as you “I love that, it’s got that bright Irish Janey and her friend Blair, with a couple of peo-
want. It is the time of the year where the only green. I gotta try it on,” Alicia said trailing off ple coming a little later after a Chemistry
thing that matters is you and whether you’re making her way to the mirror. She slipped it on. review that apparently was more important than
happy and having a good time. It is also the time “I absolutely love this jacket!” She exclaimed. drinking. We immediately opened the bottle of
year where any alcohol you consume is com- The sales people knew they had a sale. “Well, Absolut and poured out some shots. Everyone
pletely free. That time of the year, you may everybody needs to get a birthday present for was ready to toast when Blair made a pretty
have guessed by now, is your birthday. In c ol- themselves.” S he got her purse out and we made interesting observation.
lege, not only is it your birth-day, but your our way to the cash register. We got a couple “Um, where are the chasers?” she asked.
birth-week, and you better have a drink in your more things before getting on the bus to back to Nobody really knew what to say.
hand every minute of every hour that week. The Stony Brook. Everything had been set, except the one thing
o n l y t h i n g b e t t e r t h a n s o m e o n e h a v i n g a b i r t h- “Should I shave?” Alicia asked while we that was probably needed most, mixers and
day, is two people having the same birthday! As w e r e s i t t i ng in the back of the bus. chasers. Instead of running to the vending
was the case with our friends Alicia and Lynn, “I don’t think so, you aren’t wearing a machine or checking other suites fridges, Alicia
both girls lived down the hall from each other, skirt tonight, and it’s getting cold so you prob- decided to go with the next best thing.
and after the first day of school had realized ably won’t be for a while,” Lynn said. “There’s Oreo’s right here!” she said.
they shared the same day of birth. They had “No, not my legs,” Alicia replied. “Will that be good?” asked John.
been planning their celebration since then. “Well you should always be shaving “Sure, what could be wrong, they’re just
Any bad blood between Maria and John your armpits,” I told her. cookies,” she said as she passed out the chasers,
regarding their make-out session had been “No, down there. Should I shave?” Alicia “Besides, after a couple shots you won’t even
cleared up during a drunken confession where asked bluntly. need a chaser.” So everyone with a shot in one
each told the other it had meant nothing and “Umm, not my territory,” I said. hand and an Oreo in the other toasted to Alicia
that they wanted everything to be normal. It “Well if I’m getting fucked it should be and Lynn and their birthday. Twenty minutes
didn’t hurt that Maria had told John that he was nice right, not that it’s not nice all the time, but and several shots later everyone was pretty
a good kisser. Anyways, nobody wants to be in it should be extra nice, right?” buzzed and dancing. I was dancing with Alicia,
a bad mood for a party, and if th ere’s one thing “Yes, if you think you should shave, then who repeatedly said she coul d n ’ t d a n c e a n d
we all have in common, it is the love of a party. shave,” Lynn said. wanted me to teach her, claiming that I could do,
Everything was being taken care of, alcohol was “It’s just I don’t really feel like it,” “ t h a t b l a c k g i r l t h i n g w i t h y o u r h i p s a n d b u t t. ”
getting picked up, John’s suite was empty for Alicia said. “God I wanna get fucked,” Kate said as
partying, and the actual birthday conveniently “Then don’t shave,” Lynn replied. she grinded me.
fell on a Friday. “But I kind of feel like I have to,” Alicia “I know,” I told her.
Alicia woke up Friday morning at 11:30 said back. “But who?” she asked. Almost like
with one thought in her head. She wanted to get “Then shave it already, can we not talk magic, Cindy and her boyfriend Matt walked in.
fucked. Later that day, at the mall with Lynn about it,” I said. They had brought their single, R A f r i e n d B i l l y ,
and I, the thought was still on her mind. “ F ine,” Alicia said as she sat back. who worked in a different building.
“I just really want to get fucked,” Alicia “Thank You,” I said. “Bingo,” Alicia whispered as she left my
said. We sat in a couple moments of silence. arms and made her way over to the door. “Hey
“So you’ve said,” I replied. “Then who should I fuck?” Alicia asked. Cindy! Matt! Who’s this? I don’t know you, my
“No really, last time I had sex was about “Shirley Strum Kenney,” I offered. name’s Alicia.”
a month ago,” said Alicia. “No really. Who?” Alicia said. “Hello Alicia, I’m Billy.”
“Try the last time being before moving We got back to campus hornier then “Hi. You wanna drink?”
in,” Lynn said. when we left but still without an answer. I got “Sure.”
“But wasn’t your boyfriend here?” I back to my room to ch eck my inbox. I had mes- “You wanna go somewhere a little more
asked. s a g e d J e r ry about the party tonight. I had yet to quiet?”
“Yeah, I was on my period,” she replied. meet him in person and was looking forward to “Okay.” He said as the two of them
“Fuck, that sucks,” Alicia said. when I did. I opened my mail and there was a walked into the hallway. They sat down and
“Yeah, just my luck,” Lynn said as we response, he had gone home this weekend. talked a little while about college and each
walked into H&M, right before Alicia darted to Slightly saddened I figured it could only be a other. After a little while the two of them got up
a rack near the front. matter of time before I did get to meet him in for a walk. They headed for the elevator, and by
the time they were inside they couldn’t keep
their tongues out of each other’s mouths.
“I know where to go.” Alicia said as she
pulled him into the quiet study room. They lay
down as the door shut behind them.
Meanwhile, the party had grown rather
out of control. Outside, Lynn was sitting on the
ground talking to her boyfriend on the phone,
crying hysterically. Janey and Charlie weren’t
as drunk and were trying to take care of her.
Blair was on the ground in the middle of the
ground, screaming, “Why God!” while John was
taking care of her. ED and I were laughing hys-
terically, getting people up an d t r y i n g t o g e t
them to bed.
“The next morning John woke up and
went outside for his morning cigarette, which
was always the best one. Alicia came out a cou-
ple minutes after him.
“I think I made out with Blair last
night,” said John.
“I think I had sex in the quiet study
r o o m l a s t n i g h t , ” A l i c i a r e p l i ed .
After they finished their cigarettes they
walked down to the quiet study room, and there
on the floor, next to a stain, was Alicia’s
Birthday hat.
Alicia turned to John and asked him, “So
when’s the next birthday?”

Page 30 Sex Sex Sex


Faculty Spotlight: Earth Charter: The UN at 60
Professor Yuefan Deng By Maria Ng nations. There is always a section of the
nation that is deemed poorer than the rest.
his past Sunday, “Our Forest is Alive The real question is why these eco-
By Huy Huynh

s the editor of the Asian American


Turkey to vastly improve their computing
capabilities.
When he talks about teaching, T –Part III: Our Earth Charter,” direct-
ed by Masayo Koike, was presented
nomic differences exist. If the excessive
surplus from the wealthier areas were dis-

A E-Zine, but more importantly hav-


ing experienced his teaching first-
hand, I had an opportunity to interview
Professor Deng's face lights up in a radiant
smile. Considered the best Applied Math
professor on campus by his students, he
in the Wang Center. This is a Japanese pro-
duction aimed to commemorate the 60th
anniversary of the United Nations. More
specifically, the production is a reenactment
tributed to supplement the poorer sections
of the world, it would be possible to elimi-
nate poverty, hunger and disease. Similarly,
if the world worked together to become
Professor Yuefan Deng. Professor Deng is reveals his secrets about teaching. If you
a well-loved and respected professor, as are thinking that it is magic, No! It is not of the meeting that occurred a month ago in more environmentally aware, our earth
well as an established researcher. As one of magic that allows him to engage a math the United Nations. The topic was the Earth could be saved from the pollution and
the recent recipients of the $750,000 IBM class and make it enjoyable. As simple as it Charter. This charter’s main goal is to raise destruction imposed upon it.
Shared University Research grant, other- may sound, it is his familiarity with the environmental awareness through the var- This production presented the con-
wise known as IBM SUR, he has once topic and more importantly, it is his love of ied use of song, dance, and skits. cerns and questions of the UN meeting
again caught the attention of students and teaching. Professor Deng truly enjoys what well. Not only was it a
professors alike. This interview will give he does. He says that there is a great joy in source of information, it was
everyone insight into his work and show him to see that students can understand also a source of humor and
how he got his reputation as Stony Brook's what he is teaching. As a result of his entertainment. The Forest is
most popular math professors. For the full accomplishment, he received the Alive started off with a basic
interview video go to www.aa2sbu.org/ Chancellors Award for Excellence in introduction of the issues. It
aaezine/videos/DrYuefanDeng2005.wmv Teaching. then broke down into an
The Galaxy Lab, a supercomputer lab In the future, he hopes for Stony introductory dance and con-
on campus, would not be here if it had not Brook, Brookhaven National Laboratory, sequently an “international
been for Professor Deng. His work on and the other institutions he is working with meeting” scene. The rest of
supercomputer design began in 1985. to improve their computational capabilities the skit was performed in a
During the course of his work, he attended so that time required for important research continued alternation of
a workshop in Beijing. This consequently is shortened. The Professor's greatest goal dance and meeting scenes.
inspired the beginning of his work on in life, however, was to become a professor. The Earth Charter recognizes the dan- As the production was performed by
Galaxy. Single computers can be connected He achieved that and more. Not only can gers of humans’ continued devastation of Japanese actors and actresses, the perform-
through switches in parallel to make them he connect to his students on a multitude of the world. Our actions have dire conse- ers came up with the idea of using Stony
perform like a supercomputer, hence the levels, he has instilled a mark of excellence quences, causing for example, global Brook University’s diversity to their advan-
name parallel computing, but at a fraction on them. His students are able to learn from warming, deforestation, and the extinction tage when they had to conduct internation-
of the cost. The single computers are con- him; they are able to learn well. That is the of many species. Other species aren’t the al meeting scenes. The UN scenes were
nected through different low latency and mark, the goal, of a great professor. only ones affected by humans’ actions how- graced by four students from the
high bandwidth networks. With no equip- Professor Deng is certainly a great profes- ever. A major concern of last month’s UN University. These individuals represented
ment, not even a screwdriver, he had to go sor. meeting was the 6 billion plus people living the countries of Germany, Ethiopia, and
home to get the equipment needed to start For the full video of his interview, on this planet. Nigeria.
on his project. Initially connecting 32 visit www.aa2sbu.org/aaezine/ Our planet is very unequally divided The dance scenes alternated between
processors, the Galaxy supercomputer is in terms of wealth, resources, and poverty. modern and traditional dance. It also incor-
now running 600 processors. The lab is uti- There is a sharp distinction between first porated ethnic dances to make this a very
lized by over 50 Ph.D. students on campus world and third world countries. The third diverse production. This musical was inter-
for their various projects from biology to world countries have a disproportional esting in that the dances were performed by
chemistry. number of individuals suffering from individuals of all ages. The performers
One of the professor's more recent hunger, disease and environmental degra- seemed to range from as young as eight to
projects is a supercomputer in China called dation. There are millions of people without as old as fifty.
the Nankai-Stars, started in 2002. Designed jobs or the basic necessities of life. In con- The entire performance ended to a
with one of his former students, Alex trast, first world countries have money, a chorus of loud applause and appreciation.
Korobka, Ph.D., Stony Brook University, it surplus of food, and the medical resources As an added benefit, at the end of the musi-
boasts 768 processors that are able to per- required to cure disease. The real shock is cal, there were two short featured singing
form at more than 4.5 Teraflops. Located at the fact that these distinctions are not and violin solos. Smiles of satisfaction were
Nankai University, it is the most utilized always held between different countries. abundant from both the performers and the
computer by young faculty in Biology, Rather, it may be seen within our own audience as they left the theater.
Chemistry, Economics, and Physics.
Professor Deng has also been involved in a
supercomputer project in Turkey. He was Art Healing Space II: 11/9 - 11/23
at an International Conference in Istanbul
n April 2005, the first art exhibit at the memorate the 60th anniversary of the drop-
and was invited by the President of the
Middle East Technical University to build
Turkey's first supercomputer. When built,
this computer will be listed amongst the top
I Charles B. Wang Center, Art Healing
Space, commemorated the 100,000
lives lost in the Asian tsunami the previous
ping of the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and
Nagasaki.
It will also include an installation that
500 supercomputers in the world allowing year. The photos are on the SBU AA E-Zine will continually be created throughout the
gallery at http://www.aa2sbu.org/gallery. exhibit, called 'A Piece of Peace'. Its objec-
ASA’S ASIA NIGHT 2005: BALANCE This month, from November 9 - 23, tive is to have visitors share their ideas
FRIDAY NOVEMBER 18 @ 8:00 PM SAC AUDITORIUM the Wang Center will have Art Healing about peace, hope, and love with people
Space II: Seeing Through Sixty Years. It across the world by creating a post card
FEATURING: TOM TESKA PUSO THILLANA DANCE TEAM
will once again be curated by Nobohu with a message on it. The post cards will be
DANCING SINGING LIVE BAND FASHION SHOW
Nagasawa, world renowned installation exhibited until November 23 in the Wang
$5 on campus (ID required) - $8 off campus - Tickets on sale SAC box office Nov 14
artist and professor in SBU's Art Center's skylight and zodiac lobbies. To
Department. This time the exhibit will rep- learn more about this event go to
[AA]2 - AA E-ZINE PHOTO CONTEST resent the united efforts of a community of http://www.stonybrook.edu/sb/wang/peace.
of Wang Center for 2006 Calendar artists who have come together to com- pdf
Details at www.aa2sbu.org/aaezine
Wanted! Writers, photographers, and Weekly meetings Sunday nights at 7 PM
www.aa2sbu.org/aaezine in SB Press Vol 1 No 4 November 2005 all students interested in media. at our office in Student Union 071.

AA-EZine, we got it right! Page 31


death egg zone

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