The following information is provided from the 1

st

year psychology study skills workshops.

It is available for University of Kent psychology
students as guidance for writing essays.

Please do not cite the materials without written
permission from the authors.


Georgina Randsley de Moura
G.R.de-Moura@kent.ac.uk
Convenor of Study Skills and PDP Workshops
October 2007


WORKSHOP SUMMARY
In this workshop we will
focus on basics of writing
psychology essays. The
most common pitfalls will
be identified and discussed
including:
Level and style of writing
Grammar and spelling
Paragraphing
After this workshop you
should feel more confident
about the basic principles
of writing your coursework
and exam essays.



ACTIVITY 1
In small groups, discuss
the problems you have
encountered when writing
essays, reports etc at
school or work place. How
do you think university
essays will differ from
these? Compile a list of
worries and questions that
your group has about
essay writing and pass this
on to the lecturer.



TOP TIP: TOP TIP: TOP TIP: TOP TIP:
The Student Learning Advisory
Service offers help with essays
and other assignments. If you
are struggling with your work,
email them
learning@kent.ac.uk or pop by
their office (between banks and
the Grimond building).


WEEK 6

Writing 1: Style and basics


Titles

For most of your essays you will be given a title. You should never
alter the title that has been set by a course convenor. For essays,
the whole title should be written on top of the first page, centralised.
You can also include a separate title page on which the title appears
together with your name, email and student number. However, you
do not need to include a title page as all written work must be
submitted with a departmental cover sheet on which you must
clearly write your name, student number and assignment details.

Essay titles in psychology are often phrased in one of the following
ways: Compare and contrast, Critically evaluate or Discuss
the claim that The way these different types of essay titles need
to be approached will be discussed next week. You need to write
your own title for practical reports. These should clearly indicate
what the report is about. Its a good idea to have a look at online
journals to see what types of titles are generally used. However, you
will get more instruction about writing practical reports during SP300
lectures.



Style

Formality

Psychology essays are written in a fairly formal manner. You should
not use abbreviations such as doesnt, wasnt or isnt but instead
write all words in full.

- At that time it was not common practise
- Pavlov did not use cats in his studies
Remember that all numbers below 10 should be written out and
that if you start a sentence with a number, you need to write it in
letters even if it is larger than nine.

- These studies were conducted within seven years
- Only two per cent of the population is affected by this
- Seventy-five participants took part in the study





ACTIVITY 2
In pairs or alone, rewrite
these wordy sentences:

One of several important
factors to consider when
discussing brain imaging is
its invasiveness.
Moving on to a different
point of view about Baron-
Cohens argument
Regression analysis is a
kind of statistical test that
measures predictive power
of different variables.
It tends to be thought that
stereotypes about the two
sexes stem from
patriarchal model of
society.
This topic encompasses a
huge amount of information
and it is simply not possible
to discuss all of it in this
essay.





TOP TIP: TOP TIP: TOP TIP: TOP TIP:
Avoid the following when
writing your essay:

- Colloquial language
- Sexist or other non-PC terms
- Trying to be funny
- Rhetorical questions


Commonly used abbreviations can be used in essays but you
should write the word in full the first time you mention it with the
abbreviation in brackets.

- One of the most useful methodologies is functional
magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI).
- The lack of adequate medication for human
immunodeficiency virus (HIV)

You also need to be wary of using informal language and phrases.
One way of avoiding informal style is to base your arguments on
previous research and theory, and to reference these clearly in the
text. It also helps to keep your sentences short. When voicing your
own views, you need to use formal language and try to back your
opinions up with evidence or examples.

Examples:

- The impact of behaviourism on education has been huge.
o The impact of behaviourism on education has been
significant as demonstrated by the widespread use of
positive enforcement at primary schools.

- I think that the studies using this methodology arent very
believable.
o As has been noted by Smith and Logan (2004),
using such methodology casts doubt over the
reliability of these studies.

- Its amazing how quickly our understanding of brain
functions has got better.
o Due to the advancements in research methodology,
understanding of brain functions has improved
considerably since 1950s.


Also avoid using excessive terminology and rhetorical flourishes and
questions:

- In his mind-blowing study, X demonstrated
- Xs theory was truly breathtaking and demonstrated vividly
the importance
- The miraculous findings of
- What was the importance of this study? Firstly
- His arguments swept away all the opposing views
- But can you believe that his theory is really universal?



ACTIVITY 3
Spot the mistakes in the
following sentences:
Dont try to present too
much information.
65 students were
interviewed for this study.
Based on this, we would
argue that
The study used EEG in
order to
Results of the study
argued against
In his very exciting
study
The results didnt support
the hypothesis.




TOP TIP: TOP TIP: TOP TIP: TOP TIP:
Do not try to use fancy words
only. Essays that are written in
simple language are often
clearer than the ones where
each word has gone through
Thesaurus. Just remember Joey
Tribbiani from Friends signing
an official letter as baby
kangaroo Tribbiani in his
attempt to seem smart! It is a
shame if your great argument is
hidden from the marker by
over-complex sentence.







First or third persona?

There are still many opinions on this. In principle, you should avoid
using I in your essays as preparation for writing up papers in APA
style. Some people write things like In this essay, I will discuss...
but generally it is safer to use passive voice. When stating your own
opinions in essays, you could write in my opinion This is not,
however, acceptable when writing up studies.

Acceptable phrases:
Theories of Jung and Freud are compared in this essay
The focus of this essay is on
Freuds idea of consciousness will be reviewed
It could be argued
It seems that most researchers agree

However - do not use we or this essay:
In this essay, we will look at (Who are we? Its just you!)
This essay will argue (Essays dont argue, their authors do!)
This theory disagrees with (As above)


Level of writing

When you write your essay, assume that your reader / marker is
intelligent, but not necessarily a specialist in the topic. So - write
your answer for an intelligent non-specialist. Explain key technical or
specialist terms instead of assuming that your reader will know what
they mean (e.g. self-socialization, id, socio-cognitive conflict).

e.g. The Id refers to the part of unconsciousness in which our drives and
instincts are stored. According to Freud the Id is not aware of rules or
norms but instead functions according to the Pleasure Principle.

However, you do not need to explain terms such as brain,
hypothesis, self-esteem or aggression.


Knowledge

In your essay, you need to demonstrate good knowledge of theories
/ models / concepts, as well as evidence for and against and
implications for real life.
- Make sure that all descriptions of key terms and concepts
are clear.
- Do not repeat the information on lecture slides or module
handout. Instead, you need to show that you have done
personal research as well as followed up the
recommendations on the reading list.


DANGER!!
Do not signpost!!!
Signposting is a common practise
in some educational systems (e.g.
French) and means that an essay
includes sentences such as:
- This idea will be discussed
next.
- Freuds contribution to the
field will be reviewed shortly.
- I will mention this concept
again in my conclusion.
- The other critical aspects of this
theory will be mentioned later.
You should avoid signposting in
your psychology essays. Instead
of writing what you will do just
do it! The only exception to this is
the introductory paragraph
where you should set out a plan
for your essay. E.g. This essay
explores the strengths and
weaknesses of Freuds theory on
unconsciousness.




TOP TIP: TOP TIP: TOP TIP: TOP TIP:
If you are not confident about
your grammar and spelling, ask
a friend or a family member to
read through your work to
check the basics and to tell you
which bits are not clear. If you
have been diagnosed as dyslexic
or think you may have dyslexia,
contact the Dyslexia and
Disability Unit immediately.
They can offer you practical
help and they will also inform
the department so that your
dyslexia can be taken into
account when marking your
work.

- You need to demonstrate awareness of methodologies used
in studies that you quote as well as discussing critiques of
these methodologies.
- Do not write a list of information. The marker never wants to
know everything there is to know about a topic. You need to
show an understanding of what is relevant and most
important.
- As well as demonstrating knowledge, you need to show
evaluation. Include discussion about what is the significance
of a theory / concept / model and what is the value of
different arguments for or against it.
- Think of practical examples and discuss real-life implications
of theories and concepts.
- Demonstrate that you are aware of different viewpoints and
understand how they relate to the key arguments.


Getting the basics right

Punctuation

For some reason, punctuation seems to be very low on students list
of priorities when it comes to essay writing. However, nothing lowers
your essay mark as effectively as missing commas and overlong
sentences! In general keep your sentences short and clear.

Also remember that there are hardly any situations where a
sentence can begin with And or But. If you are not quite sure
about your commas, see a simple grammar guide, get some advice
from the SLAS (Student Learning Advisory Service) or attend the
Student Advisors Grammar Workshop.

See the difference in clarity between the two extracts below:

Writing a psychology essay is a complex process as you need to
consider many different view points and arguments as well as
demonstrate an ability to analyse the strengths and weaknesses of
theories and also discuss the practical implications and cross-
cultural influences.

Writing a psychology essay is a complex process. You need to
consider many different viewpoints and arguments as well as
demonstrate an ability to analyse strengths and weaknesses of
theories. It is also necessary to discuss practical implications and
cross-cultural influences.





DANGER!!
Word spell check rarely picks
up missing apostrophes or
other similar mistakes as they
are not misspellings as such:
Boys toy choices
demonstrate how early
gender stereotypes start to
emerge.
During the fist year your
often confused about
statistics.
There understanding of
Freuds theory led to the
emergence of neo-Freudian
perspective
Brain imaging really shows
its value when patients with
serious brain injuries are
examined.




ACTIVITY 4
Working alone, write linear
notes on basics of essay
writing. You can do this on
a PC or by hand. You
should include the main
headings in the left column
(e.g. formality, level,
punctuation).





THINK!
Will you struggle with the points
raised in todays workshop when
you come to write your first
essay? Is there something you are
not sure about? Ask about it now
or make an action plan as to how
to tackle the problem.

Spelling

Spelling mistakes will also lower your mark considerably. Basically,
no matter how strong your essay is content-wise, no marker will
want to give you a first if it appears that you could not be bothered
to proofread your work. Therefore it is crucial that you leave enough
time for the editing process. Learn to use the spell check on Word
but remember that it will only highlight words that are actually
misspelled! Therefore, it will not point out that something is wrong
with sentences such as:
It is important that you have red all the key chapters.
The headlines were a result of an information leek within the
organization.
Another common mistake that makes your essay look sloppy is the
incorrect use of apostrophises, especially when indicating
possession.
- Janets essay; childrens games; James book; womens role
- Their study; her idea; its value
- Tom and Tims home


Paragraphing

In a psychology essay, a typical paragraph is approximately five
sentences long. The basic rule is that you use one paragraph for
one idea and its supporting arguments. You should make your
paragraphs approximately equal in length and NEVER insert a
single sentence as a paragraph. You can either insert an empty line
between your paragraphs or intend the first line of each paragraph.
Either way, you need to make sure that it is clear where one
paragraph ends and another one begins. The way you link
paragraphs to each other determines how well your essay flows.

Good paragraph starters:
The above findings suggest that
A contrasting interpretation of Sans results was put forward by
In line with Bells (2005) arguments
The above claims did not go unchallenged
Glewellyns findings (2004) were criticised /supported by
Further criticism / support for this argument came from
In addition to the above arguments
Practical implications of this theory are clear when
However, this theory does not take into account
Another issue relevant to this debate is

WORKSHOP SUMMARY
In this workshop we look at
more in depth issues relating
to essay writing in
psychology. These include:
Writing process
How to approach different
types of titles
Writing an introduction
In-text referencing
There is a lot to cover in this
weeks workshop so you
may have to complete some
of the activities after the
workshop. After this week,
you should be confident
about writing an introduction
and in-text referencing.

Note that marked exercise 4
is based on this workshop!




Think!
Have a brief chat with a friend to
come up with an estimation of how
long it will take you to complete,
from start to finish, a 1500-word-
long psychology essay. Hours?
Days? Weeks?




ACTIVITY 1
In pairs or small groups,
discuss how closely your
normal essay writing
process matches the
process outlined in boxes 1-
12 on this page. Does
anything seem unnecessary
or would you add other
steps to the process?
Looking at the boxes, how
long do you think it would
take to complete the whole
process?

WEEK 7

Writing 2: Titles, essay plans,
introduction and referencing in text


Writing process

In contrast to research reports, essays do not need to follow a
fixed outline. However, all essays need good starts and ends,
plenty of support material and a balance of your own research
and lecture-based material. Every essay must include a
reference list, which is formatted according to the APA
guidelines. The APA style will be discussed in Week 9 workshop.

In order to write an essay that fulfils such criteria, you need to
begin with some planning followed by research, writing,
rethinking, further research and rewriting. Many students stop
here and hand in what is actually only the first draft. The
completion of your first draft should always be followed by editing
during which you shorten your sentences, improve clarity, check
your paragraphing and see whether your conclusion fits your
introduction.



























1. Decide which
essay title to
answer. Carefully
decode the title and
write down the key
concepts.
2. Read through
lecture notes and
the key texts given
in the module
outline.
4. Make an essay
plan based on the
key materials. Check
you have reference
details in full.
3. Make notes on
the key readings.
Use own words
instead of copying
chunks.
5. Spend some time
searching for further
materials. Do any
current news relate
to your topic?
6. Print out or
photocopy relevant
articles / chapters.
Read them and
make notes.
7. Revise your essay
plan to include new
materials. Write the
introduction. Check
you are answering
the question.
8. Write the first draft
of your essay.
Compile your
reference list as you
write.
9. Check that youve
included all key
points. If necessary,
do further research
and include new
points to your essay.
10. Read through
your essay and edit
as necessary. See
that your conclusion
matches your
introduction.
11. Leave your
essay for at least
24hrs. Then reread it
and edit again.
Check the reference
list.
12. Leave your
essay for a while
again, and then
proofread and edit
one more time
before submitting it.

ACTIVITY 2
Assume you are writing an
essay on childrens
language acquisition. With
your partner, come up with
three different titles using
the keywords above and
discuss what the emphasis
would be for each title?





TOP TIP: TOP TIP: TOP TIP: TOP TIP:
Scan your title for these
commonly used keywords:
Analyse: Analyse: Analyse: Analyse: Describe, examine and
criticise all aspects of the question in
detail
Assess: Assess: Assess: Assess: Weigh the evidence for and
against a given statement
Compare: Compare: Compare: Compare: Examine the similarities
and differences between the concepts
given; if comparing theories include
discussion on key concepts,
implications, evidence and empirical
research
Contrast: Contrast: Contrast: Contrast: Discuss the differences
between two theories or concepts;
may include some similarities too
Criticise: Criticise: Criticise: Criticise: Examine supporting and
opposing arguments; point out flaws;
make a judgement of overall merits
in the conclusion
Define: Define: Define: Define: Clearly outline and provide
the specific meaning
Describe: Describe: Describe: Describe: Give a comprehensive
description
Discuss: Discuss: Discuss: Discuss: Provide a detailed answer
including arguments for and against
the concept or theory; arrive at
definite conclusion or opinion based
on all the points you have presented
E EE Evaluate: valuate: valuate: valuate: Balance arguments for and
against; appraise the value of the
concept/theory in the conclusion
Adapted from Collins & Kneale, 2000;
Lillis, 1997; Rowntree, 1988

Different types of titles
Psychology essay titles tend to fall into on of the following
categories:

- Critically evaluate
- Compare and contrast
- Outline and discuss
- Discuss the factors that

The keywords in the title determine the emphasis of the answer,
and the style and presentation of evidence (See Top Tip).


Introduction
Introductory paragraph(s) provide a context for your essay. In
your introduction, you might:

1. Explain why the topic is important:
The impact of gender stereotypes is not limited to childhood toy
choices and clothing preferences. Instead, stereotypes that begin to
be formed in early infancy have profound impact on educational
decisions, family roles and career paths. Through attitudes and
social norms they influence choices and contribute to phenomena
such as domestic violence, occupational segregation and divorce.
Therefore, social psychological research on childhood gender role
socialization has a crucial role to play not only in the academic
arena but also in social policy, education and economics.

2. What the scope of your essay is, i.e. what aspects of the topic
you will cover and why:
Freuds psychoanalytic theory encompasses a vast amount of
topics such as tripartite nature of consciousness, childrens
development through stages, drives and instincts, interpretation of
dreams and psychoanalysis as therapy. Although most of his ideas
originate from the same starting point, the importance of childhood
experiences, they are too numerous to be discussed fully in a
scope of this essay. Hence, this essay will focus on Freuds theory
of unconsciousness and on its relevance to modern day treatment
of psychological illnesses.


3. Give a real-life example of the topic that highlights its
relevance:
In the scope of just 100 days during 1994, at least 100 000 people
were killed in Rwanda when ethnic majority Hutus slaughtered
minority Tutsis and moderately minded Hutus. The propaganda
encouraging the mass massacre advocated the view that Tutsis
were cockroaches who were a constant danger to Hutus and not
fully human. This event, taking place less than two decades ago, is
an extreme example of potential dangers of infrahumanization. The
concept of infrahumanization was first discussed in psychological
literature by Leyens and colleagues in 2001.

ACTIVITY 3
Assume you have been
given the following essay
title:

Nobody disputes that men
differ from women in external
appearance and anatomy and
many scientists are attempting
to explain some aspects of
human psychology in which
gender differences seem clear
as being based in structural
and functional differences
between male and female
brains. Discuss this argument
with reference to Baron-
Cohens theory.

With a partner, map out an
introductory paragraph for
the essay. You have 10
minutes for this task, after
which you should get
together with 3-4 other pairs
and swap your paragraphs.
Read all the paragraphs in
your group and discuss the
strengths and weaknesses
of each.



TOP TIP: TOP TIP: TOP TIP: TOP TIP:
There are some sources that you
should never use as references in
essays or practical reports. Two
such sources commonly seen in
undergraduate essays are lecture lecture lecture lecture
notes notes notes notes and Wikipedia Wikipedia Wikipedia Wikipedia.
However, it is okay to use a
citation from a novel, film or
advertisement sometimes these
make interesting openings to an
essay!



Think!
Looking at the examples on the
next page, work out which order
references go inside brackets.


In addition, the introduction often outlines what your essay will
discuss. You do not need to list exactly what you will write, but
sketching out the main structure of the essay is often helpful for
the reader:

In this essay, I will discuss the key concepts of Piaget and
Vygotskys theories on childrens cognitive development.
Essentially, this essay will review the differences and similarities
between the two theories as well as their practical implications. The
problems associated with both Piagets and Vygotskys empirical
work will also be discussed.

Note that outlining your essay is not enough as an introduction
on its own! You must first introduce the topic, for example in one
of the ways outlined above, and then give your essay plan.

When writing the introduction, avoid:

1. Obvious / general statements:
Language is hugely important for humans and psychologists have
always been fascinated by it.

Psychology is a vast discipline and includes many different topics.
One of these is cognitive psychology, which incorporates the study
of brain and language.

2. Vacuous essay plans:
The topic of the essay will be introduced and then some major
theories and studies will be reviewed. Finally, conclusions will be
drawn based on the evidence presented.


Referencing in text
Referencing in the text is probably the biggest problem
undergraduate students have with their written work. Make sure
you understand it fully now as incorrect referencing will otherwise
lower your marks throughout your degree!
You need to give details for every citation, study or quote you
mention in your essay. As well as providing a full reference in
your reference list, you need to mention author(s) name and year
of publication in the text.
If you are writing a fact or an opinion that is not your original
thought but something that someone else has argued, claimed or
written you must acknowledge your source:
According to Stevens (2003)
Truman and Bell (1987) proposed that
Common identity is an integral part of belonging to a group (Hegg,
2001).

If you say things such as many studies have shown or a
number of researchers have found you need to provide at
least two examples:

DANGER!!!
Avoid using secondary sources
you should always try to read
original publications. You may
need to have some secondary
references in your essay but avoid
using secondary sources that show
that your sole or main source has
actually been a basic text book.



TOP TIP: TOP TIP: TOP TIP: TOP TIP:
If you are using a web-based
source, you must always find an
author for the text. You can You can You can You can
never insert a website address in never insert a website address in never insert a website address in never insert a website address in
your text! your text! your text! your text! The actual website
goes into your reference list. If
you cannot find a name of an
author(s), you can use a name of
an organisation instead (e.g.
United Nations, Trade Union
Congress). Some websites do not
include a clear date or year of a
publication. In these cases, you
should insert n.d. (no date)
instead of year.
It is crucial that the British media
adopts a more responsible attitude in
their reporting to ensure that whole
groups and institutions are not
unfairly vilified (The Muslim Council
of Britain, 2007).
Harris (n.d.) argues that



ACTIVITY 4
A list of incorrect in-text
references is available in
this weeks folder on the
Study Skills homepage. If
you have time, you can go
through this during the
workshop if not, you can
do it on your own time as the
correct answers are also
provided.


Many authors (e.g. Locks, 1999; Smith, 2005) have argued that
This effect has been demonstrated in a number of studies (e.g.
Kode, 2006; Minter, 1999; Soli, 2005).

If you are quoting someone directly, you need to give a page
number as well as the author name and publication year:

Freud viewed instinct as a concept on the borderline between
biology and psychology (Archer & Lloyd, 2002, p. 95).

If you refer to more than one publication by the same author(s)
that have been published in the same year, you need to identify
the publications with a, b, c in the text as well as in the
reference list.
Denis and Heino (1998, 1999, 2000a, 2000b) replicated their
finding in different empirical settings.
The priming effect has been demonstrated in numerous studies on
race stereotyping (Alboud, 2003; Coleen & Smith, 2002a, 2002b;
Russ, Joki, & Mendel, 1999).

If there are two or more authors, you need to write and if the
reference is in a sentence but use & if the reference is in
brackets:
Freeman and Stone (2006) advocate the OCR method (Organise -
Communicate - Reflect) as an effective way to learn.
OCR methodology (Freeman & Stone, 2006) has been adapted by
many psychology departments across the UK.
Abel, Barry, and Kiln (2001) studied the effect of repetition on
memory tasks.
Repetition has been found to improve performance on memory
tasks (Abel, Barry, & Kiln, 2001).

If your source has three or more authors you need to write all the
author names when you refer to it for the first time. In subsequent
mentions to the same source, you can use et al:
Field, Thompson, and Reyers (2004) studied the homogeneity
effect among football fans. They found that the better the club
supported was performing, the more its supporters homogenised
the rival teams supporters. Field et al. (2004) argued this to

Exception: If your source has SIX or more authors, you can use et
al. even when you mention it for the first time.

If you are using a secondary source (i.e. you have not read the
original publication but found details of a study / theory from
another publication), you need to make this clear in your text:
Lowe (1976, as cited in Smith, 2002) was one of the first to argue
that
Piagets famous conversion study (1935) has been discredited by
many due to his limited sample (Rundel, 1998, as cited in Durkin,
2000).

WORKSHOP SUMMARY
This workshop focuses on
some final issues relating to
essay writing in psychology:
How to discuss empirical
studies
How to critically evaluate
material
Writing a conclusion
After todays workshop, you
should feel fully equipped to
write your first psychology
essay.

Note that marked exercise 6 is
based on this workshop!






ACTIVITY 1
How would you structure the
main body for essay entitled:
Is jealousy a psychological
adaptation? Please use
evidence from different
disciplines to argue your
case. What examples could
you use?






TOP TIP: TOP TIP: TOP TIP: TOP TIP:
Keep in mind that most students
will use the examples mentioned
by a lecturer in their essay if you
want to stand out, come up with
your own examples!



WEEK 10

Writing 3: Discussing studies, critical
evaluation, voicing own views and writing
conclusions


Main body of the essay

This is the main part of the essay where you demonstrate your
knowledge, your ability to critically evaluate arguments and your
understanding of theories and studies. The key to a successful
middle bit is in the structure, so make sure you have a good plan.
Your essay needs to read like a story, i.e. be logical, clear and
interesting. Focus on developing your argument in a logical way
instead of providing a list of ideas, theories and studies. Your
argument should unfold as your essay draws toward the
conclusion. Using subheadings as you write will make the essay
easier to construct but check with the marker whether subheadings
are allowed in the final version.

The main body of the essay should explain and define key
concepts, describe the main theories on the topic and compare
them with each other. You need to discuss the key empirical
evidence that supports or challenges the theories discussed. You
should also think of other limitations of the theories you have
discussed (e.g. they might be outdated, culture specific or lack
relevance to the real world). You need to include points that
contrast or question your argument in order to show that you have
considered the question from different viewpoints. However, keep
in mind that the emphasis of your essay depends on the title as you
will approach a Compare and contrast essay very differently than
you would an Evaluate Xs theory on essay.

Examples are vital in supporting your arguments. If your title is
rather general, use as wide range of examples as possible but if
your title is more specific make sure that your examples are
relevant. Think whether you can include examples from recent
news stories, classic films or books, or from everyday life. Good
use of examples demonstrates that you have understood
theoretical arguments and are able to relate and apply them to the
real world.







ACTIVITY 2:
Are you familiar with Aschs
conformity experiments? If
not, quickly familiarise
yourself with them (you could
even use Wikipedia ) and
write a paragraph in pairs
explaining the methodology
and results of the study.







THINK!
How can studies that you discuss
make a difference to your mark?
What factors would your marker
consider?







DANGER!
Markers are often forced to lower a
students essay mark because they
have mentioned a number of studies
without explaining them at all.
Remember that you should not
assume that your marker is familiar
with methodology or results of even
the most famous studies. You can
write the name and date only if they
are inside brackets as an example of
studies that has shown / supported
a certain finding:

This effect has been demonstrated
in number of different cultures (e.g.
Lowe, 1978; Milburn, 1999; Xiau,
1987).


Discussing studies

When you are writing about an empirical study, think carefully what
is important about it. Depending on your title and the study you are
discussing, the focus may be on:

- Design (e.g. First time certain question was investigated in a
longitudinal study)
- Materials (e.g. A study used positive trait names only)
- Results (e.g. Findings supported or discredited previous
studies or theories)
- Sample (e.g. Study was conducted in a number of different
cultures)

Most often, however, your focus will be on the implications of the
findings of an experiment or a study. If this is the case, you should
not use more than two or three sentences to discuss the study:

Smiths (1987) arguments were supported by a longitudinal study of
Creig (1993). Creigs (1993) results demonstrated the trend predicted
by Smith as participants attitudes towards smoking grew significantly
more negative after each group discussion session. Creigs findings
imply that longitudinal campaigns on health issues can indeed
produce significant attitude change.

In contrast, if the significance of a study that you mention lies in its
methodology, you should focus on that:

Powlishta (1993) argued that the use of forced-choice methodology
in exploring childrens racial stereotypes is unreliable and produces
results that do not reflect actual attitudes. Therefore, in her study she
asked children to assign positive and negative traits to white people,
to black people or to both. Her results demonstrated that although
children still showed ingroup favouritism, the stereotyping, particularly
of negative traits, was significantly reduced in comparison to studies
using a forced-choice methodology.


Being critical

One of the most frequent comments students receive as feedback
is either you need more critical reflection or you need to be more
analytical. More often than not, students really do not know what
such feedback is telling them.

In general, a key to avoiding such comments is to provide
viewpoints from both sides of the argument and to identify problems
with studies, theories and ideas. All your criticisms do not
necessarily need to be something YOU thought about, but simply
showing that you are aware of the problems others have found is
enough. Never try to pass criticism someone else has voiced as
your own idea but reference it just as you would any other

TOP TIP: TOP TIP: TOP TIP: TOP TIP:
With empirical studies, you can go
through the following when trying
to think of criticisms:
- How old is the study? Would it
yield similar results if replicated
now?
- What was the sample size? You
can not argue for universal trend
based on three interviews.
- Where was study conducted?
Would it yield similar results in
other cultures?
- Did the sample include equal
number of males and females?
- Can you see an obvious caveat in
the methodology? Was the
methodology too ambiguous?
What about social desirability
effects?
- Was the study conducted
among university students? Can
the findings be generalised?




DANGER!
When writing own views, make sure
they are relevant, rational and
specific. Avoid following pitfalls:
- I think that Freud
overemphasised childhood
sexuality as I do not believe that
children have understanding of
such things. (Need some back-
up)
- In my opinion drugs can have a
huge influence on brain activity.
(An obvious statement)
- I do not agree with Xs results as
I think that the methodology is
too vague. (Why is it too vague?
Has someone else thought so too?)

arguments. You may add something to the criticism to demonstrate
that you fully understand why the criticism is important:

As argued by X (1980), the fact that most of Piagets studies
were conducted on his own children is probably the most
serious drawback of his theory. This is especially detrimental as
he argued that his findings apply to children universally and are
independent of sex, race or culture.

On the other hand, sometimes you may not fully agree with
criticism someone else has published, and it is alright to mention
this too:

As argued by X (1980), the fact that most of Piagets studies
were conducted on his own children is probably the most
serious drawback of his theory. In my view however, this
pitfall has been rectified by the number of successful
replications of his studies among different cultures (e.g. X,
1987; Y, 1987).

Remember that you should not try to come up with random
criticisms of theories and studies. Simply discussing their
implications counts as critical reflection (SEE TOP TIP).


Own opinions

You can voice your own opinions and views but you need to be
able to back them up with evidence. Obviously, the amount of
personal views expressed in an essay depends on the essay title
too. If your title is Critically evaluate you need to give you own
view, based on the material presented, as a conclusion BUT if your
title is Outline the key concepts of Jungs theory on
psychoanalysis your own opinions are not that central.

Regardless of your title, personal views might make the essay more
interesting as they provide something unique to the marker who
has probably read about 100 essays on the same topic already.
However, you need to be sure that your own views seem well
grounded and rational:

- In my opinion, the main limitation of Jungs theory is
- In my view, a significant example of outgroup
homogenisation effect is demonstrated by
- Based on these limitations, I would argue that
- After exploring the strengths and weaknesses of Xs study, I
am inclined to argue that
- I think that the effect of family environment on childrens
delinquent behaviour is not as significant as is their peer
group, as X & Y (1987) demonstrated that


ACTIVITY 3:
Are the following sentences
acceptable? How could you
improve / change them?

1. My little brother offers a
great example of sex role
stereotyping as he never
plays with dolls or soft
toys.
2. It is obvious, when looking
at GCSE or A-level results
that girls do better than
boys at school.
3. Milgrams compliance
studies were completely
unethical and hence not
really relevant to modern
day psychology.
4. In my opinion, Vygotskys
theory is much more
relevant for modern day
education than Piagets.
5. Participants of the study
were university students,
which means that the
results cannot be
generalised to other
people.
6. I think that social
desirability might have
influenced the results.



THINK!
Looking at the final paragraph
example on this page, has the author
linked her conclusion to the title?
Do you think this is a good
conclusion? Can you think of any
ways in which it could be improved?


Conclusion

In your conclusion you must clearly state what your final answer is
to the question posed in the title. You must also, briefly, recap the
key reasons behind your final conclusion. Try not to introduce new
material in the conclusion as this may make it seem irrelevant to
the main body of your essay. Also, do not restate the essay title, or
go through the same things as you did in the introduction. As
signposting should not be used in the essay, do not say things like:

- First, I introduced the topic and then outlined Freuds theory.
Next, I reviewed
- After examining Xs theory in full, I mentioned the study by X
& Y.

Instead, your conclusion could include sentences such as:

- While there have been many critiques of Freuds theory of
unconsciousness (e.g. X, Y, Z), its overall value for present
day understanding of human psyche is unquestionable.
- While Piaget and Vygotskys theories differ from each other
greatly in terms of their key assumptions (e.g. X & Y), the
similarities between the two should not be ignored.

It is a good idea to read your introductory paragraph(s) before
writing your conclusion and again after you have written the
conclusion. If the beginning and end of the essay do not match, you
are likely to receive You didnt really answer the question as a
feedback.

Below is the final paragraph of a 2
nd
year psychology essay (written
for SP529 in 2006) entitled:

Discuss Self-Determination Theory in relation to Maslows Need
Hierarchy. How are the two related? Bring a study that supports
Self-Determination theory and suggest how its results could be
interpreted in line with Maslows Need Hierarchy


Self-determination theory and Maslows need hierarchy are related by
their suggestion of innate needs that drive and facilitate motivation.
SDT focuses on the psychological needs of autonomy, relatedness
and competence, which bear similarities to the psychological needs
Maslow recognised as belongingness, love and esteem. The basic
cognitive needs and self actualisation are not identified as needs by
SDT, but are acknowledged in the statement that there is an innate
propensity for growth, knowledge and understanding. The motivation
theories discussed here advocate internal drives that are either helped
or hindered by society.