It was this time last year that it happened. The first time my heart was broken.

I remember it quite
vividly actually. I remember once hearing an old man telling me that the reason that we cant forget
our most painful memories was so that we never repeat them again. Ever.
So I suppose that it was not a total surprise that I was feeling like I was about to explode with
tension. I could feel the energy of my anxiety roiling around in my body. The constant flexing of my
taunt muscles helped relieve some of the pressure but that could only do so much for my breathing.
Time marches on.
I was sitting on the low stone pillar, in my local park, where she left me. The cold concrete of the low
resting place was starting to get uncomfortable as the chill began to seep through my worn jeans.
Although this was being registered by my brain I could feel myself drifting back to another day like
this but with two vital differences, it was a year ago and I was much happier.
I was meeting Simone. A tall dark lethal beauty if I ever met one. All angles and shadows, I was
enamoured by her bewitching persona and her glittering aura. My life was ordinary, it had ordinary
problems with ordinary solutions. When I saw Simone in a chance encounter in a club through a
friend, I knew right away that something extraordinary was going to happen.
I was right, unfortunately.
Everyone talks in the arts of the kind of love that can raise the world up in the ferocious flames or
scatter it to ashes in the aftermath of the inferno and I knew that this was one of those loves. The
kind that would change the world. And it did, it changed mine.
For one month I was on a constant high with Simone gracing me with her presence and I was beyond
joyous that she even noticed me. We went for long hikes in nature, debating enthusiastically about
everything and the playful fights would always lead to passion. Everything was perfect.
Then the cold came and the leaves of the summer began to fall and even though colours were
bursting throughout life, there was an ominous feeling that it was the prelude to a long
harsh winter. It was a long winter, it was a year long. Its harbinger was in the form of a text
message.
Its been a year since then and today was going to be the first time I had seen Simone in a year and I
was curious.
I licked my lips in apprehension and I almost immediately regretted it when the cold cruel wind
began to chap my lips and I could feel the cracks spreading along my lips, like a spider web. I
rubbed my thickly gloved hands together to get the blood flowing. When that didnt work I
began to pace back and forth to get some life into my legs too.
I remember the most unusual feeling came over me when I got her text message yesterday when
she asked me could she meet me. Curiosity, terror, apprehension, shock but a little hope. As
much as it galls me to admit it, even to myself, there was a small part of me that was wistful
about the past and the potential future that I could have had with Simone.
I could see my breath unfurl from in front of me like a frozen carpet and suddenly I was steamrolled
over by a familiar scent of delicate roses and jasmine, Simone was here.
I turned around expecting her and sure enough she was standing right in front of me, almost
completely in black with only her pale face standing out in stark contrast. Her pale blue eyes
widened in surprise as she took me in and I could see her trying to swallow her nerves.
Suddenly it was all clear to me.
She was human just like me and she deserved to be treated like a human not a Goddess. Simone
opened her mouth, Colin I wanted to say sorry if I ever hurt you. The dam burst and before
I knew it I was screaming at her.
HOW DARE YOU EVEN SAY THAT? I LOVED YOU WITH EVERY FIBRE OF MY BEING, I WAS WILLING
TO ANYTHING FOR YOU! ANYTHING! YOU DONT HAVE THE RIGHT TO EVEN TALK TO ME!
Simones face was ashen and she actually stepped back from the strength of the venom in
my voice, I TRUSTED YOU! The rage cooled my voice and I felt it become a far more
insidious form of anger, hatred, I was going to help you get through all of your messed up
issues and I thought that meant I could trust you with my secrets if you could trust me with
yours. I guess I was mistaken. I turned on my heels abruptly and began to walk away.
I heard Simones desperate pleas follow me, Colin! Im so sorry I hurt you, it wasnt my fault! I
stopped then and I felt a deadly calm settle over me and I knew that there was going to be
no coming back from this, maybe you should have thought of that before you slept with
Christopher and told him I was a eunuch. I didnt have to have been facing her to know that
she was totally shocked that I knew that. You see when she broke up with me over text she
never told me why but days later Christopher was teasing me with my most closely kept
secret and he was only too happy to tell me where he got his source from.
I kept walking, away from the woman that I thought I loved, who betrayed me in the worst way
possible. I see now that I was never going to forgive her and it took for her to say an apology
to realise that. Besides I was walking home to someone who does appreciate me and I
wouldnt change it for the world. After all time heals everything if love leads the way.