See why social networks are not only not "connecting" us, but making us further apart. Grabble Marketing takes an in depth look at why Social Media is ruining the concept of relationships.
Visit Grabble Marketing Here:
http://bit.ly/1voQNTw
See why social networks are not only not "connecting" us, but making us further apart. Grabble Marketing takes an in depth look at why Social Media is ruining the concept of relationships.
Visit Grabble Marketing Here:
http://bit.ly/1voQNTw
See why social networks are not only not "connecting" us, but making us further apart. Grabble Marketing takes an in depth look at why Social Media is ruining the concept of relationships.
Visit Grabble Marketing Here:
http://bit.ly/1voQNTw
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Is Social Media Causing Your Marriage Problems? With the popularity of social media on the rise, research is beginning to show a direct corre- laton between the high volume of usage and the rise in marital problems. Many people spend too much tme on social outlets and not enough tme working on areas of their mar- riage that may be sufering from neglect and inatenton. As you take advantage of the speed of communicaton and the networking available at the click of the mouse, remain vigi- lant to the areas of your marriage that might fall victm. Facebook, for example, has become the most popular website to use to reconnect with old friends and family around the world. This actvity has become ingrained into daily routnes and some spouses are experiencing turmoil as they deal with the renewing of old relaton- ships by their spouses. The convenience of fnding old fames and friends and the amount of tme spent on these social websites can cause problems to arise in a marriage. Divorce atorneys use the posts on Facebook to fne evidence of infdelity and conversatons about problems occurring in a marriage. 66% of these atorneys admited that they do pe- ruse Facebook for informaton to help their clients with divorce cases and 81% have seen a rapid rise in the references to Facebook posts being used as evidence in cases in the last fve years.
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Marriage takes dedicaton and hard work by both partes. You both must focus on fulflling the commitment that you made to honor and cherish each other at all tmes, not just when it is convenient for you or the internet is down. If you are experiencing some problems in your marriage or you and your spouse constantly have discussions about your actvity on the so- cial media outlets, this might be a good tme for evaluaton and refecton about how social media might be causing problems in your marriage. Using social media makes illicit behavior easier and more convenient to the wandering spouse. Instead of going to clubs and other areas to meet people willing to engage in an afair, todays cheatng spouses are using the internet. It ofers anonymity and a vast pool of potental partners searching for illicit afairs. There is less risk of being suspected and caught in this destructve behavior. Marital problems that are based in wayward online behavior usually begin quite innocently. Connectng with an old high school friend may begin by exchanging up- dated informaton but can quickly turn into emotonal sharing and communicatng that should be reserved for a spouse. The sharing of personal thoughts and dreams can deepen the sense of intmacy and can lead down the road to a more intense, physical relatonship between the reunited friends. The spouse doesnt intentonally begin the contact for the wrong reasons, but if con- versatons take place with the old friend more ofen than the spouse, then problems can arise very quickly. Even though the beginning of this reconnecton is innocent, afer feelings begin to develop, the contnuaton of the friendship should be stopped. When one spouse tries to get needs met outside of the marriage vows, problems are just around the corner. This spouse is making a deliberate decision to share his emotonal love with someone other than his partner; this will not meet his needs nor will it make his marriage stronger. This is called an emotonal afair which can do as much damage as a physical afair.
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If a couple is working as a team, the communicatons and intmacy aspects of their marriage are strong and no outside support is needed. The couple respects the needs and feelings of each other and encourages individual growth and development. If these two important parts of the marriage are weak, each individual may be selfsh and try to get what they desire from each other instead of being supportve. A good queston to ask as you evaluate your relatonship as it relates to social media is am I talking to someone outside our marriage more than I am talking to my spouse? If you are confused or dont know the answer to this queston, then ask your spouse for his input. He will be appreciatve of the fact that you asked him and will help you fnd an honest answer. Be prepared to make some changes if the answer to the queston is yes. You should never dis- cuss important personal issues with anyone other than your spouse, especially if it directly afects them. Discussing this concern before discontent sets in, can make your marriage stronger and can start a sensitvity that promotes new growth in your relatonship. Find a quiet, private place so that you can talk about social media and how it afects your marriage without being embarrassed. It is very important to be proactve in dealing with problems that one spouse may perceive in the marriage. The emotonal support needed in a healthy relatonship can be provided with open and honest discussions thus eliminatng the need for assistance from outside the marriage. To build strong trust in a relatonship, it is important to disclose all online conversatons, friends, and online actvity. Share passwords and access keys to the social media accounts like Facebook, Twiter, and Google. You can stll respect each others privacy while providing access to your social sites. If you have nothing to hide, then you wont mind your spouse be- ing able to see your accounts. Trust and honesty are the cornerstones of a good marriage so work hard to keep these viable in your relatonship. If one partner does not want to share this access, there may be trust issues that str an underlying current of trouble in the mar- riage. Exploring this tde of mistrust early can prevent a tragic ending.
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If you feel afer beginning the evaluaton process of your social media actvity, that it is ad- versely afectng your marriage, you can take some steps to prevent any further damage. Begin by unfriending those who are a temptaton to you. Examples of dangerous liaisons are old fames and other individuals searching for something to fll a need they are experienc- ing. Next, have your computer screen so that it can be seen by your spouse whenever you are online. Dont minimize your window if your spouse walks by. If you are ordering a sur- prise for a birthday or holiday, then that should not be a problem. All of your actvity should be available for your spouse to see. Avoid chatng online late at night or when your spouse is away from home. This can be common sense for your safety as well. You dont want the en- tre web to know that you are home alone. Its also a smart idea to set tme limitatons for your internet use. You will want to have tme in the evenings afer a long day to discuss events with your spouse. Devotng too much tme to any type of actvity can harm your relatonship with your spouse. This includes spending a great amount of tme on social media outlets. It causes distress with your spouse and has become one of the largest problems that married couples face today. As couples, we strive to fnd enough quality tme to spend with our spouse and yet, we have very litle trouble fnding enough tme to browse the internet for long periods of tme. Partc- ipatng in online actvites can become addictve if you arent careful; commit to spend more tme with your spouse. On Facebook, users spend over 500 billion minutes a month in vary- ing actvites. Whether its a game-oriented actvity, browsing profles, or chatng with friends, its valuable tme spent away from a spouse. Many people lose track of tme while they are engaged in internet actvites which can build up tensions between spouses. Face-to -face personal tme is limited and friendly discussions are lost in cyberspace conversatons that take place sometmes with strangers. The key to a successful marriage is constant and caring communicatons and when this sufers, the relatonship sufers.
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Most Facebook users have an average of 130 friends who range from old boyfriends/ girlfriends, past love interests, nosy in-laws, toxic co-workers, and family friends who have nothing beter to do than cause problems among friends. When these people are online chatng, they are taking away real tme interactons between spouses. The marriage of the couple is afected in a negatve way many tmes and problems arise that would never have arisen had the internet user turned of the computer a litle earlier. Informaton on these social media sites is passed from person to person at a rapid rate of speed and many tmes with inaccuracy. Spouses fnd themselves regretng something that they have said or second guessing the intent of a post. If a post is made regarding ones spouse that includes complaints or negatve comments, the marriage will be adversely afect- ed and tensions will be created. Each day, users normally contribute 70 pieces of informaton on Facebook each month. With this level of actvity, miscommunicaton occurs, comments are misread, and inappropriate comments are posted. Sometmes too much informaton is provided about a personal situaton; the result of this acton is an angry, hurt and embar- rassed spouse. Many social media users forget the fact that the entre world can see and respond to com- ments posted on accounts. For couples over the age of thirty, this can be the frst online ac- tvity in which they have partcipated. Trying to understand the online community and navi- gate through the myriad of choices and selectons to make can be confusing and uncertain. Remember that online is not the place for jokes or just kidding comments. Intonatons and meanings cannot be completely portrayed online thus many feelings of ill well can be fos- tered.
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Couples should discuss how to establish boundaries for common sense for postngs online. This will facilitate a beter plan for using social media websites for positve and educatonal reasons. You dont want to have a constant argument about the use of social me- dia in your home. Select your friends carefully and agree to be con- servatve with the types of posts you make that represent you as a person and the two of you as a couple. Make this a win-win situa- ton for you and your spouse. A social media website is not the place to air your dirty, personal laundry that can cause embarrassment to your marriage or your spouse. Even if you think you are kidding, the intent will be perceived as rude and cruel. The entre web should not see any negatvity in your marriage; always make posts that are positve and uplifing. Accentuatng the positve aspects of a marriage will make it stronger and cause it to grow and deepen. Think of your marriage as a team efort with you and your spouse as team members. Togeth- er, the two of you can achieve your goals and dreams if you encourage each other and truly care about the progress you are making as a winning team. Be careful what you share about your life as a couple online with others. There are anniversaries, birth- days, celebratory occasions, and other events that we want to share online. Your friends and family will want to share your happiness with you and sharing those accomplishments up to a point is acceptable. Reserve the intmate details of your marriage for the privacy of your home environment. Some things are beter shared only between the two of you not the entre world. Keep the special things special and dont dilute the importance of the occasion by telling every breathing person the details.
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Each spouse should carefully check the friends list of the other. Locate people with whom you feel uncomfortable and unfriend them. If online friends are making vulgar or inappro- priate comments, consider hiding their comments or deletng them all together. Discuss with your spouse any conversatons or atempts at chat that people make that cause you stress or concern. In todays world as we travel online and meet people that we dont re- ally know much about, our personal safety should be at the top of our list when acceptng friends. Your spouse may become upset if you reveal personal informaton like addresses, telephone numbers, or daily actvity that lets people know that you are home alone or you are away from home. Never tell things that a criminal element might be watching for ill will or gain. Decide with your spouse early on the type and amount of personal infor- maton that should and should not be shared online. Any contact on a social media outlet that strains or causes stress in your relatonship with your spouse is not worth keeping. It is a good practce to demonstrate on your social media accounts that you are very hap- pily married. Include pictures of you and your spouse in your online photo albums. Men- ton them frequently and introduce them to your friends just as you would in a real life sit- uaton. Establish in a very convincing way that you are married and are not seeking any liaisons of any sort. Let your marriage come through in all of your posts and comments. If the choice comes down to partcipatng in social media or working on your marriage, you should always choose the later. Dont ever take your marriage for granted or put it second to your social media accounts. Neglect of your partner can cause boredom, loneli- ness, and a craving for atenton and conversaton. Spend quality tme each day with your spouse one-on-one and put the computer in its proper place. Your online friends should come second to your spouse who is the love of your life. Dont let interruptons and trivial discussions take tme from your marriage.