The Treatment of parents in Islam

" Give thanks to Me and your parents." [31:14 [

" And your ord has de!reed that you "orship none #ut $im. And that you #e
dutiful to your parents. If one of them or #oth of them attain old a%e in your life&
say not to them a "ord of disrespe!t& nor shout at them #ut address them in
terms of honor." [1':(3 [
Mu)ahid said: "If the parents %ro" old and end up urinatin% and ans"erin% the !all
of nature on themselves& do not feel dis%usted or say *+ff* to them. ,ather&
remove the urine and fe!es from them& )ust as they used to do "hen you "ere
youn% "ithout feelin% dis%ust in doin% that for you."
Ad-.aylami narrated that Al-$usayn I#n Ali /radhi allahu anhu0 narrated that the
1rophet /salAllahu alaihi "asalam0 said: "$as there #een an a!t of +2u2 /entails
ne%le!tin% parents and "ithholdin% one*s kindness from them0& less than sayin%
+ff /3ie0& Allah "ould have disallo"ed it as "ell."
A#dullah I#n Amr I#n al-Aas /radhi allahu anhu0 narrated that a man !ame to the
1rophet /sallallahu alaihi "a-sallam0 to %ive him the pled%e of alle%ian!e& sayin%&
*I have !ome to %ive you my 4ai*ah /alle%ian!e0 to perform $i)rah /mi%ration to al-
Madina0. $o"ever& I left #ehind my parents "hile they "ere !ryin%." The 1rophet
/salAllahu alayhi "asalam0 said: "Then %o #a!k and make them lau%h as you
made them !ry." [Musnad Ahmad5 3urthermore& I#n +mar /radhi allahu anhu0
said: "4rin%in% tears to parents is a part of +2u2 and a ma)or sin." [6ahih al-
4ukhari5
al-4ayha2i reports that I#n *A##as /radhi allahu anhu0 said: "Allah opens t"o
doors /to 1aradise0 for every Muslim that is dutiful to his /or her0 t"o Muslim
parents& a"aitin% the re"ard "ith Allah alone& and one door if he /or she0 had one
survivin% parents to "hom he "as dutiful. 3urthermore& if one makes his parents
an%ry& then Allah "ill not #e pleased "ith him until his parents for%ive him." $e
"as asked& "7ven if they "ere un)ust to their !hild8" $e said& "7ven if they "ere
un)ust."
al-Imaam I#n al-9a":i reports that I#n Muhayri: said: "$e "ho "alks in front of
his father "ill have fallen into disrespe!t of him& unless he "alks in front of him to
remove some harm from his "ay."
$e also reports in his #ook al-4irr "as-6ilah: ";hildren& no matter ho" old they
%et& should not look their parents strai%ht in the eye& "alk in front of them& speak
first "hen they are present& or "alk to the ri%ht or left of them& unless they make
su!h a re2uest. ,ather& !hildren should "alk #ehind their parents )ust as a servant
"ould do "ith his master."
$e also reports that "hen <asr i#n A#u $afidh al-Ma2disi travelled from 9erusalem
to *Ira2 to learn "ith al-=a:aruni& a "ell-kno"n s!holar at that time& al-=a:aruni
asked him& "Is your mother alive8" <asr said& ">es." al-=a:aruni asked& "$ave you
taken her permission8" <asr said& "<o." al-=a:aruni said& "4y Allah? >ou "ill not
learn from me until you %o #a!k to her so that her an%er ends." <asr "ent #a!k to
his mother in 9erusalem and remained "ith her until she died& then travelled to
!olle!t kno"led%e.
Allah*s Messen%er /salAllahu alayhi "asalam0 has !ursed him& "ho insults parents&
he /salAllahu alaihi "asalam0 said: ";urse #e upon "hoever reviles his father&
!urse #e upon "hoever reviles his mother& ;urse #e upon on "hoever slau%hters
for other than Allah& ;urse #e on "hoever mis%uides a #lind person on the street&
;urse #e on "hoever does "hat the nation of oot did." [6ahih al-9ami /@'A'05
And he /salAllahu alayhi "asalam0 also reported to have said: "3rom the ma)or
sins is a man revilin% his parents." Be /6aha#ah0 said& "C Messen%er of Allah
/salAllahu alayhi "asalam0 and ho" does a man revile his parents8" $e said: ">es&
revilin% a man*s father is revilin% your father& and revilin% his mother is revilin%
your mother." [6ahih al-4ukhari and 6ahih Muslim5
And in another narration& Allah*s Messen%er /salAllahu alayhi "asalam0 replied:
"$e a#uses the father of some#ody "ho& in return& a#uses the former*sD he then
a#uses the mother of some#ody "ho& in return& a#uses his mother." [6ahih al-
4ukhari and 6ahih Muslim5 Be learn from this $adith that one should not a#use
anyone*s parents& #e!ause in the event& he is paid in the same !oin and he "ill #e
responsi#le for dis%ra!in% his o"n parents.
Anas al-9uhani said that his father narrated that the 1rophet /salAllahu alaihi
"asalam0 said: "Eerily& on the .ay of ,esurre!tion& Allah has slaves "hom $e "ill
neither speak nor purify nor look at." $e "as asked: "Bho are they& C Allah*s
Messen%er8" $e said: "$e "ho diso"ns and a#andons his parents& he "ho diso"ns
his !hildren and he "ho "as %ranted a favor #y a people& #ut he denied their favor
and diso"ned them." [Musnad Ahmad5
A#u 4akr i#n *Ayyash said: "I used to sit "ith Mansoor in his house and I "ould
hear his mother& "ho "as loud and rude& shout at him& *C Mansoor? I#n $u#ayrah
/%overnor of *Ira2 at that time0 appointed you to the post of )ud%e& #ut you
refused?* Mansoor "ould not even look her in the eye out of respe!t."
Bhen $ay"ah i#n 6hurih used to sit tea!hin% the people& his mother "ould
sometimes say to him& "C $ay"ah? 3eed the !hi!kens some #arley&" he "ould
leave the audien!e& o#ey his mother& and then resume the le!ture?
at-Tirmidhi reports that the 1rophet /salAllahu alayhi "asalam0 said: "The parent
is the #est amon% the doors of 1aradise& so lose that door or prote!t it."
adh-.haha#i and I#n Ma)ah report that "hen I#n *A##as /radiAllahu anhu0 "as
asked a#out the people of al-A*raf& he said: "al-A*raf is a mountain #et"een
1aradise and the 3ire. Those "ho "ill #e kept at al-A*raf in!lude some men "ho
)oined the 9ihaad "ithout permission from their fathers and mothers and "ere
martyred in the 9ihad. Their death in the !ause of Allaah 2ualified them to #e
saved from the 3ire& #ut their diso#edien!e to their parents prevented them from
enterin% 1aradise. They "ill remain at al-A*raaf until Allah de!ides in their !ase."
Muslim reports that the 1rophet /salAllahu alayhi "asalam0 said: "<o !hild !an
pay #a!k his parents& unless he finds that his father is a slave& so he #uys him and
sets him free."
I#n al-9a":i reported that al-$asan /radiAllahu anhu0 said: "It is #etter for you to
eat dinner "ith your mother& so that her heart is !omforted& than to perform a
voluntary $a))."
al-$akim narrates that the 1rophet /salAllahu alayhi "asalam0 said: "Allah delays
the punishment for "hatever sins $e "ills until the .ay of ,essure!tion& eF!ept for
disrespe!t and diso#edien!e of the parents& for he rushes its re!ompense /in this
life0."
I#n al-9a":i reports that durin% hot days& a:-Gu#ayr i#n $isham "ould taste the
"ater he #rou%ht and if he found it to #e !old& he "ould prefer his father "ith it
and send it to him to drink.
$e also reports that A#u $urayrah /radiAllahu anhu0 used to !arry his mother so
that she !ould ans"er the !all of nature and #rin% her #a!k "hen she "as finished
after she #e!ame old and #lind.
Gur*ah i#n I#rhim narrated that a man !ame to *+mar /radiAllahu anhu0 and said
to him: "I have an old mother "ho is una#le to %o ans"er the !all of nature& so I
!arry her on my #a!k. I also help her perform a#lution "hile turnin% my fa!e a"ay
from her /out of respe!t0. $ave I fulfilled my duty to"ards her8" *+mar /radiAllahu
anhu0 said& "<o." The man said& "7ven thou%h I !arry her on my #a!k and eFert
myself in her servi!e8" *+mar /radiAllahu anhu0 said: "6he used to do the same
for you "hen you "ere youn%& "hile hopin% that you "ill live. As for you& you
a"ait "hen she "ill %o a"ay /die "./