We have offended against thy holy laws

Restore thou them that are penitent;

According to thy promises declared unto mankind in Christ
Jesus our Lord.
Chapter 34
Raina was in the kitchen at her mothers house preparing a
cheesy chicken and wild rice casserole dishher husbands favorite
meal. I do not even know why I am cooking this, she thought as she
threw in the ingredients out of frustration while wiping away a
tear. After what he did I do not want to have anything to do with him.
Hes been living an abominable lie all along. I vowed to marry him for
better or for worse, but this is not going to work going forward. Taking
her mothers advice she made an appointment with her mothers
pastor, Pastor Rocheforde. t least do it for your own peace of
mind,! her mother had told her. nd " would advise you to get #raig
in for some counseling although " do not know if there is any hope for
him.!
$hy do you say that%! Raina asked her mother.
&aby, if my interpretation of 'cripture is correct, it says in the
very first chapter of Romans that (od gave them up to uncleanness
through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies
between themselves. "t also says, (od gave them over to a reprobate
mind, to do those things which are not convenient. These kinds of
people e)perience the *udgment of (od, but they insist on continuing
in that sin.!
'o theres absolutely no hope for #raig%! Raina asked.
$hen (od chooses to give you over to what you insist on
having, then theres no help for you beyond (od.!
+ater that evening, #raig stopped by his mother,in,laws house to
speak with Raina. -other, shes my wife. she cant *ust shut me off
without giving me a chance to e)plain myself,! he said to his mother,
in,law after she greeted him at the door. 'hes not answering my
phone calls so " had no choice but to stop by here.!
" dont think you fully understand. Theres no e)plaining in a
situation like this,! Rainas mother said. nyway, let me get her.!
Raina reluctantly *oined her husband in the living room. The
husband whom she once adored was now despicable in her eyes.
Raina, can we please talk%! #raig asked.
$hat is there to talk about% /othing. /o amount of talk can
change what " saw and what " now know.!
Raina, this is something " have been struggling with.!
'truggling with% 0or how long% 1ont even answer that,! Raina
said. $hatever the case, you should have never married me if you
had this so,called struggle. nd if this struggle started after we got
married, you owed it to me to let me know and maybe we could have
worked it out then.!
'o are you *ust going to throw away the si) years weve already
invested in this marriage%! #raig said. Think about &randon.!
&elieve me, " am thinking about &randon,! Raina said. "f " do
not want a homose)ual teaching my son in the classroom, do you
really think " want one to be his father% 2ell will free3e over before
that happens.!
2es my son4!
#orrection5 he was your son,! Raina snapped. &ut you tell me
this5 $hat words can " put together to tell him his father is a
homose)ual% 1o you know how embarrassed " was to tell my doctor "
needed to take an "1' test% Thank (od it came back negative. "
made an appointment to see Pastor Rocheforde, -amas pastor, on
$ednesday. 6ou are welcome to tag along if you think it will help
you.!
"ll be there,! #raig said.
7ust dont e)pect a miracle. (ood bye, #raig,! Raina said
walking out the room.
#raig,! Pastor Rocheforde said after he prayed with the
&arringtons, your wife has already shared with me whats going on
with you two. /ow " want you to tell me what happened% Tell me
whats going on in your mind. $hen did this start% " cant help you
unless " have some idea of how this all came about.!
#raig shifted uneasily in his seat. 2e cracked his knuckles.
$hen " was a boy, a friend of my parents took advantage of me.
2e had a group of us boys from the church over at his house for a
backyard cookout. 2e told my parents he would take me home.
&efore he did 8 he took 8 advantage of me,! #raig said in a shaky
voice.
Raina saw her husbands hands trembling.
1id you tell your parents, and if not, why didnt you tell your
parents%! Pastor Rocheforde asked.
2e threatened me. 2e told me if " told anyone, especially my
parents, they would not believe me, and would brand me a liar and
they would never believe anything else " told them. 2e said they
would disown me and " would no longer be their son. Those were his
very words and they have haunted me to this very day. 2e said bad
things would follow me if " told anyone and that no one would ever
love me again for lying on him.!
#raig cracked his knuckles.
2e came back to me two other times 8 no, maybe three 8 "
dont know. 2e told me " must always give in to him, and that he was
showing me true love 8 'omething happened and he left the church.
" tried to go on with my life as " fought through bouts of depression,
feeling low about myself, always feeling " didnt fit in*ust cra3y
thoughts. " even came close to killing myself at one point. " felt " had
to succumb to men who were over me. " lived in fear. "n college "
*oined a fraternity clubsome of the guys were practicing gays. " got
involved with them. " felt thats what " was supposed to do to be
accepted and loved by them. " felt " had to give in to live a complete
life.!
Raina rolled her eyes as she leaned back in her chair. 'he rested
her head in her hand. 'he did not even look at her husband as he
spoke.
fter college " came across a few of my fraternity brothers, and
8 well 8 " got involved with them again.!
$here does this (ale or 7erome or whoever come in%! Raina
blurted out. 6ou know the one you visited on your last trip out of town
before all this mess came about. " hate confusion, #raig. " hate 8!
Pastor Rocheforde cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows at
Raina. 'he stopped in mid,sentence.
2e was part of the fraternity club in college. $e kind of kept in
touch, and 8!
6ou dont have to e)plain him,! she 9uickly said raising her
hand. $hat " want to know is, why did you marry me knowing you
were a homose)ual%!
Raina, " married you because " love you 8 and because "
thought marriage would cure me of this 8 this8!
'in%! Raina blurted out. nd you mean to tell me you were a
homose)ual before we got married:!
Pastor Rocheforde cleared his throat, but allowed the two to
continue.
nd you call that love% /o, you didnt love me. 6ou used me to
cover up your sinful life. Thats what you did,! Raina said. nd you
*ust want me to accept it and we go on as though it was nothing% 6ou
must be losing your mind 8 no, you have lost your mind:!
Raina, let him finish talking,! Pastor Rocheforde said. 2ow
much contact have you and 7erome had%! he asked.
$e kind of lost touch with each other for a while. then we ran
into each other on one of my trips out of town and 8 we 8 picked up
where we left off.! voiding eye contact with his wife, he said, 'ome
of my trips out of town were to visit with him.!
Raina felt like vomiting.

Chapter 35
I am going to throw up if I listen to this crap any longer! Raina
shuddered. Pastor Rocheforde, this 7erome person has moved from
wherever he used to live and is now living in our town. 2e and #raig
work for the same company. "t is strange that he got transferred here.
$hy dont you e)plain that transfer to us, #raig% 1id you both
arrange for him to get transferred here%! Raina was now sitting on
the edge of her seat.
"m sorry, Raina,! #raig said as a single tear fell from his eyes.
"ts like there are two forces fighting inside of me 8 ;ne seems to
overpower the other.!
The wicked evil one%! Raina said. ;h, *ust stop talking:!
Please, Raina,! Pastor Rocheforde said reaching for his &ible.
2e cannot be a #hristian, Pastorat least not in my book.!
#raig, " have to give it to you straight,! Pastor Rocheforde said.
The demonic spirit of homose)uality has gotten a hold of your life.
6ou have given in to it over and over and " hate to say this, but it
seems to have gotten you to that point of no return. " say <seems
because the &ible does say that nothing is impossible with (od. The
&ible says that that kind of demonic spirit comes out only
by much prayer and much fasting. &ut you must want to be delivered.
6ou must have faith that (od can heal you. and again,you must want
to be delivered from that demonic spirit. "s it going to be easy% /o. "t
is never easy fighting against the devil. +et me ask you this, #raig5
1o you really want help% 1o you really want to be delivered from the
demonic spirit of homose)uality that has taken up residence in your
life%!
'ilence filled the room.
There you go, Raina thought looking directly at her husband who
averted his eyes. If you really wanted deliverance you would not
hesitate to answer, now would you
$ell, do you%! Pastor Rocheforde asked again.
Pastor, it is such a struggle. " 8 " mean, its *ust a lifestyle. !
+ifestyle, my foot,! Raina said throwing her hands up in the air
and standing to her feet. /o, Pastor, if he really wanted help he
would not have hesitated to answer your 9uestion, now would he%
nd he would see this so,called <lifestyle for what it issin 8
because thats what it is 8 an abominable sin. "f he really loved me,
he would have told me all this before we got married and let it be my
decision as to whether or not " wanted to marry him, rather than put
my life in *eopardy. nd if he really wanted to be delivered from it, he
would be having se) with me rather than with some stinking man. 1o
you know " could have gotten "1'% $orst yet, you could have
passed on the "1' to &randon while " was pregnant with him.
'omething like that you do not hide from your future spouse. 2ow
can we be one if you are hiding things from me%!
'linging her purse over her shoulder, Raina continued, " do not
have time for this. " came to you, Pastor Rocheforde, to sort things
out in my mind, and to have someone neutral to speak to, but my
mind is already made upwas already made up.!
Raina, " did not tell you because " did not want to risk losing
you,! #raig said.
Thats a risk you should have taken, but you didnt and you dont
love me now. you only love yourself,! Raina said. and have always
only loved yourself.!
Reaching out, she shook Pastor Rochefordes hand. Thank you,
Pastor, for your time.!

Chapter 36
Raina immediately drove to their home to pick up some more
clothes for her and &randon, a few of his toys, and the bo)es with the
signed petitions. I hope he has not destroyed them, she thought.
Raina pulled out the last bo) with the signed petitions from the
spare room and placed it on the kitchen counter while she went to the
den to retrieve &randons toys. 'he had already placed the other
bo)es in her car. =pon returning to the kitchen she randomly
thumbed through the bo) glancing at the signatures. nger and
bitterness strangely mi)ed with a peace she could not e)plain that
she was doing the right thing heading the 7ust 'ay /o:! campaign.
'he was filled with mi)ed emotions as she thought back on the
meeting she had *ust left. How could he do this to me Thats not
love. It cant be. !ut !randon " hes going to need a father. #or
better or for worse " until death do you part. Raina knocked the bo)
off the table. "t clattered to the floor and Raina fell on her knees
amidst the petitions.
1ear (od,! she sobbed, how could this be happening% 2ow
can " go on as his wife as though nothing has happened. " cant do it:
" *ust cant do it: $hat he did and has been doing is the height of
hypocrisy and deceit. "s this how my marriage is going to end% "f it is,
" accept it.!
#raig had pulled up in the driveway and noticed Rainas car
parked in its regular spot. 2e hurried out of his car. $ell, thats a
good sign, he thought. %he may have changed her mind.
2e 9uietly entered the house. s he paused before the front door,
he heard sobbing coming from the kitchen. #raig stopped at the
entrance leading into the kitchen when he saw his wife on her knees,
amidst the petitions, sobbing. 2e listened as she poured out her heart
to (od. 2e felt uncomfortable at hearing her words.
2e watched her as she got up from the floor a short while after,
with a few of the petitions in her hands. 'he turned one of the
burners on high and held one of the petitions on the glowing burner.
#raig approached her and gently took the petition out of her hand. 2e
glanced at the signature on the petition. "t read #raig . &arrington.
#raigs attempt to place his arms around her failed as she swung
around to face him almost knocking him to the ground.
2ow could you, #raig% 2ow could you do this to me:! Raina
shouted.
Raina, " need for you to stay with me. " cant bear the thought of
you leaving me at this time when " need you most. Please believe
me. #an you please help me% " need for you to stand with me,! he
said.
/o, you dont need meyou only want to save face:! she said.
Raina took a deep breath as she faced him. 6ou want me to help
you by accepting you as you are. &ut it would be going against my
#hristian convictions to do so. " know "ve said some harsh things to
you, but (od has given me peace to leave this marriage.! Pulling her
wedding ring off, she set it on the counter. " forgive you, #raig. " hope
you will repent and change and find peace with (od.!
Raina picked up the stuff she had come home to get. >ntering her
car, she drove off to begin her new life.