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JESUS | RELATIONSHIP
To the Mighty Men and Women of Axis,
This month we begin the New Year—2010—together, seeking God and seeking to live out the
Gospel as one big Axis family. What an awesome privilege to be part of God’s work in this world.
What joy, also, to be doing it with people we can love, celebrate and laugh with. We are
expectant and hopeful for what God will do through our growing Axis family this year.
January’s curriculum is meant to paint a picture of how Jesus modeled healthy relationship. We
have all felt tension about how to relate to friends, family, community members, and those who
don’t yet know the Lord. We want to love well, but what does that really look like? This month,
we’ll explore four of these areas of tension through the lens of Jesus’ life and ministry. These
weeks are not black and white—they may raise more questions than answers—but we invite
your community to wrestle through the scriptures and hopefully understand more of God’s heart
for us.
We’ve scheduled four weeks of curriculum, starting with the week of Experience. Hubs don’t
usually gather that week, but since it would be the third week off for most of you, we know that
a lot of you will meet anyway. The first week is meant to set up the rest of the weeks, so even if
you wait until after Experience to begin the new year, we want to encourage you to start with
Week 1, “Relationship vs. Idolatry.” It studies the relationship that Jesus had with the Father,
and how every relationship flowed out of his intimacy and love for God. There are three weeks of
curriculum that follow, but feel free to choose whichever two seem most applicable to your
community if you’ve been planning for only three weeks of discussion.
More than anything else this month, we are excited to see how studying Jesus’ relationships will
help our communities to know more of the Father’s love for us, and through that to better
understand the Gospel. The Gospel is the full expression of God’s love—that He would send his
own son to take upon Himself the punishment we deserve, and allow us instead to know him and
live in His love for all eternity. Praise God that it was not primarily through a book or an
epiphany that He chose to show us Himself, but instead offers us relationship with His precious
Son, Jesus.
January 8: Axis Experience with Charlie Hall
January 22‐23: Leadership Retreat—watch your email for more details!
**There will be no Conversations this month at South Barrington due to the leadership retreat
Thank you for everything you do,
Amy and Kimberly
WEEK ONE—JANUARY 4 - lO
JESUS | RELATIONSHIP: RELATIONSHIP VS. IDOLATRY
Framing Questions What’s the Big Idea?
• Whose approval do you think about the most in your life? Relationships were
• What is the thing (or things) that drive your day‐to‐day life? What do you think important to Jesus, but his
about the most? relationship to the father
always came first. Jesus
What Does Scripture Say? (Head) modeled healthy
• Have six people read these scriptures out loud: Mark 1:35‐39, Matthew 14:23, relationships that were
Luke 5:16, Luke 6:12, Luke 9:28, Mark 6:46. fueled by (rather than in
• What stands out to you as we read these scriptures? competition with) his love
• These scriptures show Jesus’ persistent habit of getting alone with His Father. for God.
Did the people in his life always approve of this? Why was this so important to
Truth:
Him?
Mark 1:35‐39
• What does the word “idolatry” mean to you? What is an idol?
1
Very early in the morning,
• Read Exodus 20:3‐4. How does this relate to Jesus’ priorities in relationship?
while it was still dark, Jesus
got up, left the house and
Which Means What? (Heart)
went off to a solitary place,
• Read John 8:28‐29. From this, how do you think Jesus’ life flowed out of his
where he prayed. Simon and
relationship with the father?
his companions went to look
• Luke 14:25 reads “Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them
for him, and when they
he said: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate* his father and mother, his
found him, they exclaimed:
wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot
"Everyone is looking for
be my disciple.” What is your reaction to this passage? What do you think Jesus
you!" Jesus replied, "Let us
meant by hate?2
go somewhere else—to the
nearby villages—so I can
How Does This Change My Life? (Hands)
preach there also. That is
• What things or people in your life affect your actions the most? why I have come." 39So he
• Where does the majority of your time go? How do you spend your free time? traveled throughout Galilee,
What does this say about your priorities? preaching in their
• What things could you take out of your life, or add to it to make you more synagogues and driving out
able to connect with your heavenly father? demons.
• Are there things or relationships that you are putting before God?
• At what point does a relationship become an idol? John 8:28
• How do we love intensely, like Jesus commands in John 15:13, but also follow ...I do nothing on My own
his command to “hate” all those people in our lives, compared to our love for initiative, but I speak these
him? things as the Father taught
• I John 4:17 says, “Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have Me.
boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world.” 1 John 4:17
What would it mean for us to be like Christ in this world? 17By this, love is perfected
• From these verses, how would you define healthy relationship? with us, so that we may have
confidence in the day of
Stretch Activity judgment; because as He is,
As a way of benediction, read John 17:20‐26 over your hub. Have everyone listen to so also are we in this world.
these words, and think about how they affect their daily lives. Before you do this, take
a little time to explain that this is Jesus' prayer for all believers before he was arrested Details, Details…
and crucified. Talk about why you would read this prayer over them instead of to • Axis Experience—Charlie
them—see note about benediction3. Hall and iScatter
celebration: January 8,
2010, 7:30pm in Café
Twenty
EXTRA INFORMATION FOR WEEK ONE: RELATIONSHIP VS. IDOLATRY
1. Some definitions for your conversation about idolatry:
idol•a•try, n
1: the worship of a physical object as a god
2: immoderate attachment or devotion to something
idol•ize, vb
to worship as a god broadly: to love or admire to excess.
(Merriam‐Webster, I. (2003). Merriam‐Webster's collegiate dictionary. Includes index. (Eleventh ed.).
Springfield, Mass.: Merriam‐Webster, Inc.)
2. A few commentaries around the use of the word “hate” in Luke 14:25:
"To emphasize that discipleship is difficult, Jesus said that one must hate his own family and even his
own life in order to be His disciple. Literally hating one’s family would have been a violation of the Law.
Since Jesus on several occasions admonished others to fulfill the Law, He must not have meant here
that one should literally hate his family. The stress here is on the priority of love (cf. Matt. 10:37). One’s
loyalty to Jesus must come before his loyalty to his family or even to life itself. Indeed, those who did
follow Jesus against their families’ desires were probably thought of as hating their families."
Walvoord, J. F., Zuck, R. B., & Dallas Theological Seminary. (1983‐c1985). The Bible knowledge
commentary: An exposition of the scriptures (2:243). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.
"...“hate” is used in the sense of decisive rejection of competing claims to one’s allegiance. Count the
cost. But choose to follow Jesus to the end."
Richards, L. O. (1991; Published in electronic form by Logos Research Systems, 1996). The Bible
readers companion (electronic ed.) (665). Wheaton: Victor Books.
3. What does “benediction” mean?
bene•dic•tion, n
1: the invocation of a blessing esp : the short blessing with which public worship is concluded
2: something that promotes goodness or well‐being
(Merriam‐Webster, I. (2003). Merriam‐Webster's collegiate dictionary. Includes index. (Eleventh ed.).
Springfield, Mass.: Merriam‐Webster, Inc.)
WEEK TWO—JANUARY ll - l7
JESUS | RELATIONSHIP: HOLINESS VS. HOLIER-THAN-THOU
Framing Questions What’s the Big Idea?
• What does the phrase “holy man” provoke in you? Have you known men or Holiness points to God and
women who live up to that phrase? love. But when pride
• What does the phrase “holier‐than‐thou” provoke in you? Without giving consumes us, we can
names or specifics, has your path intersected with people who could be become holier‐than‐thou.
described this way? This self‐impressed version
• How do you feel around these two groups of people? of righteousness brings
• What does the word holy mean?
1
judgment and condemnation
to the people around us.
What Does Scripture Say? (Head)
Truth:
• Read John 4:5‐26. Does this woman see Jesus as a holy man?
John 4:5‐26
• Ask members of your group to reread aloud verses 17‐18, and 23‐24. What 17
The woman answered and
characterizes Jesus’ holiness in this scene?
said, “I have no husband.”
• Read Luke 18:10‐13. This man clearly thinks he’s holy. Is he? Why or why not?
Jesus said to her, “You have
• Reread this passage, but read from Luke 18:9‐14.
well said, ‘I have no husband,’
• What is the difference between being holy and being holier‐than‐thou? 18
for you have had five
husbands, and the one whom
Which Means What? (Heart)
you now have is not your
• Do you feel like you can be holy? husband; in that you spoke
• Read Ephesians 5:1‐11. Why is it important to pursue holiness? truly.” … 23 But the hour is
• How does Jesus death and resurrection make us holy? How does it set us free coming, and now is, when the
to live holy lives?2 true worshipers will worship
• With enough effort, can we achieve holiness? Read Romans 7:15‐8:1. Does the Father in spirit and truth;
this change your discussion?3 for the Father is seeking such
• Does God expect perfect behavior from us? What does he expect? to worship Him. 24 God is
Spirit, and those who worship
How Does This Change My Life? (Hands) Him must worship in spirit
• Have you ever tried to either hide or avoid holiness? Why? and truth.”
• Have you ever pretended to be holier than you are? Why?
Luke 18:10‐13
• Do you feel it’s okay to be broken in our hub? Do you feel it’s okay to be well? 10
"Two men went up to the
• Is the way you act pointing to you or to God? How do pride and humility temple to pray, one a
factor into this conversation? Pharisee and the other a tax
• Have you ever felt superior to others because of your good behavior? Be collector. 11The Pharisee
honest. How should we respond to that emotion? stood up and prayed about
• Is God more concerned with behavior or heart? Does your life reflect your himself: 'God, I thank you
answer? that I am not like other
men—robbers, evildoers,
Stretch Activity: Practical Steps adulterers—or even like this
What does holiness look like in these situations? How might holier‐than‐thou crowd tax collector. 12I fast twice a
respond? week and give a tenth of all I
• You’ve been invited to a bar by your co‐workers. get.' 13"But the tax collector
• The person you’re talking to swears. A lot. stood at a distance. He
• Your co‐workers constantly tell dirty jokes and gossip. would not even look up to
• That song with questionable lyrics is pretty catchy. heaven, but beat his breast
• Your good friend just told you that she’s cheating on her husband. and said, 'God, have mercy
• The bachelor party you’re attending just crossed the XXX line. on me, a sinner.'
• You’re really attracted to your boyfriend or girlfriend, and co‐workers are
Details, Details…
making fun of you for waiting.
Is there a specific scenario you’d like to discuss? • Have you invited your
leadership team to the
upcoming Leadership
retreat on Jan. 22‐23?
EXTRA INFORMATION FOR WEEK TWO: HOLINESS VS. HOLIER-THAN-THOU
1. A note about the word “Holy”:
The Hebrew word for holy, “qodesh” means
1) apartness, holiness, sacredness, separateness
a) apartness, sacredness, holiness
1) of God
2) of places
3) of things
b) set‐apartness, separateness
2. These questions seem the same, but they’re not.
How does Jesus death and resurrection make us holy?
This question is getting at how we are justified by Jesus’ sacrifice and his forgiveness.
How does it set us free to live holy lives?
This question is getting at how we are sanctified by Jesus’ transforming forgiveness to walk more and more closely
with him.
Not so sure what that means? Check out this article:
“Understanding the difference between justification and sanctification can be as important as understanding
the difference between salvation and damnation. Rightly dividing between the two is of crucial importance.
When you understand what they are, you can then draw a line in the sand and say, "This is what saves. This is not
what saves."
Justification is the work of God where the righteousness of Jesus is reckoned to the sinner so the sinner is
declared by God as being righteous under the Law (Rom. 4:3; 5:1,9; Gal. 2:16; 3:11). This righteousness is not
earned or retained by any effort of the saved. Justification is an instantaneous occurrence with the result being
eternal life. It is based completely and solely upon Jesus' sacrifice on the cross (1 Pet. 2:24) and is received by
faith alone (Eph. 2:8‐9). No works are necessary whatsoever to obtain justification. Otherwise, it is not a gift
(Rom. 6:23). Therefore, we are justified by faith (Romans 5:1).
Sanctification, on the other hand, involves the work of the person. But it is still God working in the believer to
produce more of a godly character and life in the person who has already been justified (Phil. 2:13). Sanctification
is not instantaneous because it is not the work of God alone. The justified person is actively involved in submitting
to God's will, resisting sin, seeking holiness, and working to be more godly (Gal. 5:22‐23). Significantly,
sanctification has no bearing on justification. That is, even if we don't live a perfect life, we are still justified.
Where justification is a legal declaration that is instantaneous, sanctification is a process. Where justification
comes from outside of us, from God, sanctification comes from God within us by the work of the Holy Spirit in
accordance with the Bible. In other words, we contribute to sanctification through our efforts. In contrast, we do
not contribute to our justification through our efforts.”
“Justification and Sanctification: What is the Difference?” Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry.
http://www.carm.org/justification‐and‐sanctification
3. A note about Romans 7:15‐8:1:
This passage is a little bit difficult to read aloud, so have fun with it, and think about reading it twice for
comprehension, possibly from two different versions. We’ve included it because it brings a richness to the
conversation about how we want to be holy, but somehow still fall so short. If Paul struggled with this, we
probably will too.
WEEK THREE—JANUARY l8 - 24
JESUS | RELATIONSHIP: ACCOUNTABILITY VS. JUDGMENT
Framing Questions What’s the Big Idea?
• Have you ever felt judged by someone? What was the result? Many of us struggle with
• If the person who judged you was a Christian, how did that affect your how we can hold our
feelings toward God and/or the church? brothers and sisters
• Have you ever judged someone? What were your motives? accountable, and still
encourage them without
What Does Scripture Say? (Head) judging. Jesus models how
• Read Mark 10:17‐29 aloud once or twice in your community. to encourage a person to
• What is the man asking for? repent without casting
• If Jesus had not spoken the truth to this man, he might have lived his whole judgment.
life blind to the grip money had on him. Why do we need to encourage and
Truth:
keep each other accountable?
Mark 10:17‐29
• Read Colossians 1:28, Hebrews 3:13, and 2 Corinthians 13:5. What do these 21
Then Jesus, looking at
verses add to the conversation about accountability?
him, loved him, and said to
him, “One thing you lack: Go
Which Means What? (Heart)
your way, sell whatever you
• What do you think of Jesus’ approach to helping this man to grow? Is Jesus
have and give to the poor,
judging the man, or just telling him the truth?
and you will have treasure in
• What do you think Jesus’ motives were in telling this man something very
heaven; and come, take up
difficult for him to hear? (see especially v. 21)
the cross, and follow Me.”
• Why do you think Jesus let the man walk away? 22
But he was sad at this
• What is the difference between accountability and judgment? word, and went away
• Have you ever felt like the man in the story—someone pointed out an area sorrowful, for he had great
where you are in sin, but you didn’t want admit it or give it up? What possessions.
happened?
Hebrews 4:12
How Does This Change My Life? (Hands) “For the word of God is living
• How do you react when people exhort (or challenge) you in the way you live? and active. Sharper than any
If no one ever does, why do you think this is? double‐edged sword, it
• Are you comfortable letting people “walk away” with the truth of scripture, or penetrates even to dividing
do you feel like it is your job to convince them? How does Hebrews 4:12 soul and spirit, joints and
speak into this? (Note: "...spiritual love...will rather meet the other person with the clear marrow; it judges the
Word of God and be ready to leave him alone with this word for a long time, willing to release him thoughts and attitudes of the
again in order that Christ may deal with him." –Dietrich Bonhoffer, Life Together, one of Amy’s heart.”
favorite books on Christian community.)
• Do you ever try to encourage and stretch friends in their pursuit of following Colossians 1:28
Christ? Why or why not? We proclaim him,
• Do you have anyone in your life that you ask to keep you accountable, or ask admonishing and teaching
for honest feedback from? everyone with all wisdom, so
• James 4:11 says”… Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him that we may present
speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not everyone perfect in Christ.
keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.” We are not to judge our brothers, 2 Corinthians 13:5
but we are to encourage each other toward Christ (Hebrews 3:13) and strive Examine yourselves to see
after righteousness as a community. How can we practice accountability whether you are in the faith;
rather than judgment in our community? test yourselves. Do you not
realize that Christ Jesus is in
Stretch Activity you—unless, of course, you
Think about if you need more accountability in your life to help you grow. Share with fail the test?
the group (or a small group) what this might look like. It could be more consistent time
Details, Details…
in scripture, joining an LTG, having a prayer partner, confessing sin, or any number of
• Leadership Retreat this
things.
weekend—please invite
your leadership team!
WEEK FOUR—JANUARY 25 - 3l
JESUS | RELATIONSHIP: FORGIVENESS AND HEALING
Framing Questions What’s the Big Idea?
• One of life’s realities is that people will hurt us. Knowing that, how would you We are able to forgive others
rate yourself as a forgiver? because we have been
• Is it ever okay to withhold forgiveness? forgiven so profoundly and
fully by God. But if we’re
What Does Scripture Say? (Head) honest, we have questions
• Read Matthew 18:21‐35. Then flip over to Matthew 6:14‐15. From these about whether we can do it,
passages, what motivates forgiveness? and if we do, what that even
• How does Jesus’ death on the cross relate to our forgiveness?1 means. It’s sometimes scary,
• How does repentance factor into forgiveness? but it’s not optional.
• Read Luke 17:3‐4 and Luke 23:34. How do these verses add to your discussion
Truth:
about repentance?
Matthew 18:21‐35
21
Then Peter came to Him
Which Means What? (Heart)
and said, “Lord, how often
• To most people, forgiveness is about reconciling a relationship. Is this
shall my brother sin against
statement true?
me, and I forgive him? Up to
• Can you forgive without reconciling? If so, what’s the difference?
seven times?”
• What happens in your heart when you forgive someone? 22
Jesus said to him, “I do not
• Does bitterness ever stop you from forgiving? say to you, up to seven
• Does fear stop you from forgiving? (Fear of being hurt again? Fear of being a times, but up to seventy
doormat?) times seven.
• Is forgiveness a process or a choice?
2
... [The king] said to him,
‘You wicked servant! I
How Does This Change My Life? (Hands) forgave you all that debt
• Do you walk freely in the forgiveness that God offers us? because you begged me. 33
• How can remembering God’s grace help us choose to forgive? Should you not also have had
• What will you do to counteract bitterness and resentment? compassion on your fellow
• Why should we address our little hurts? What happens when we servant, just as I had pity on
don’t—in us, and in our community? you?’ 34 And his master was
• How should we address our deep wounds? angry, and delivered him to
• How can we forgive while still making wise decisions about the people we the torturers until he should
choose to spend our lives with? pay all that was due to him.
• Have you ever been in a situation where your desire to forgive and/or 35
“So My heavenly Father
reconcile is not enough to bring about a restored relationship? What should a also will do to you if each of
person do in that kind of situation?3 you, from his heart, does not
forgive his brother his
Stretch Activity trespasses.”
Have your group take some time to pray, asking God to search their hearts. Ask them
Matthew 6:14‐15
to write down what they find on a slip of paper. Lead them: 14
“For if you forgive men
their trespasses, your
• Where are you holding onto guilt around something that God has forgiven?
heavenly Father will also
Write it down on a slip of paper. Choose to receive his forgiveness, and as a
forgive you. 15 But if you do
symbol of that [shred, rip up, burn, paint over] what you wrote.
not forgive men their
• Where are you refusing or struggling to forgive? Write down that person’s sin
trespasses, neither will your
on the paper. Ask God to move your heart toward forgiveness, and
Father forgive your
• First, recognize that forgiving is sometimes a process trespasses.
• Second, make the choice to forgive them
• As a symbol of that, [shred, rip up, burn, paint over] what you wrote. Details, Details…
• Axis Experience:
February 5, 2010,
7:30pm in Café Twenty
EXTRA INFORMATION FOR WEEK FOUR: FORGIVENESS AND HEALING
1. A great opportunity to clearly explain the Gospel!
If your hub struggles at all answer to this question, you’ll want to be ready with a clear explanation of
the Gospel. If you feel the spirit moving in this, make sure you give Him time to work. Slow down and
have some real discussion around why we need forgiveness and salvation, and how Jesus’ death brings
us an opportunity to be transformed.
2. Forgiveness is a choice and a process.
Guide your conversation around A) how important it is to make the choice to forgive and then B) how
we might have to make that choice repeatedly, there might be a delay in our emotions catching up to
our decisions, and how God may have to do work in us to help us to let go of bitterness and to heal our
woundedness.
3. Willow Creek has resources for reconciling broken relationships.
For additional resources, contact Willow’s conciliation hotline at 224.512.2087.
Jesus modeled healthy relationships that were fueled by (rather
than in competition with) his love for God.
Holiness points to God and love. But when pride consumes us, we
can become holier-than-thou.