Developing Your Social Skills, p.

Jerian Hardy
UWRT 1102-029
October 22, 2014

Developing Your Social Skills

Introduction:
The place to be on campus at UNCC is the student union. Why? you might ask.
There are so many activities and so many people interacting. This is a great venue for
developing social skills. By definition the word itself means possessing the ability to do
something well between or among. In developing social skills one communicates in not
only verbal, but non-verbal ways. A persons body language, gestures, and personal
appearance speaks volumes. The student union on campus is a great centralized place to
develop the capability to communicate and interact with each other no matter what race
or gender. Student will ultimately learn by improving on their social skills, they will learn
other students likes and dislikes, and commonalities, and they will soon learn how to
curve their ego. This interaction will make for better communication between them. They,
themselves, will experience an overall increase in happiness, a sense of community, and
more likely to get involved. While the development of social skills are fundamental, they
can be applied in every of college life and beyond whether it be interaction with
professors, staff members, parents, other students, employers, and co-workers.
Students learn the skill of social networking as they intermingle with others. There
are so many resources, and yet not one student knows all of them.

As students progress

in communication and interaction with more and more students, and getting involved in

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

campus organizations will assist in gaining knowledge of and information about helpful
resources on and off campus. They learn to share information theyve gained whether it
be from an instructor, or another student. This information could help with an assignment,
or project. Information that is shared through networking could help a student gain
employment while attending college or find a specific place of business they have been
searching for. Some may even learn information that will advance their career prospects.
Being a student here, I have sharpened my social skills as I cultivate new
relationships with new roommates and new classmates. Soon I will be a member of the
forty-niner football team. This means I will advance even further in my social skills. The
coaches and coaching staff have a very detailed and strict way of doing things. To be able
to succeed as a member of the team, I will have to adhere to their rules. There are close to
90 players on the team. I will have the opportunity to communicate with most of them, so
having the proper social skills will enable me to interact with them.
Literature Review:
All the sources that I have researched seem to discuss how important it is to develop
positive social skills. Interpersonal-the interaction between one or more people was the
social skill elaborated on the most. Being able to communicate will help you to develop a
sense of community. People will discover that they have more in common then they think.
As students interact with one another, they realize what behavior is accepted and what is
not. Interaction will also give students the courage to begin to speak out and contribute
their opinion. They discover that they have leadership skills as well.

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

Interaction will help students curve their own ego and become more sensitive to
others feelings in their community. Students develop in other skills such as networking,
small talk, charm. These skills could help them advance in their career and as they
transition into the work world. Social optimism is relevant to the success of a student,
where as social avoidance will be a detriment to the progression and maturity of a student
to adulthood. Students experience person growth as they progress through their college
years in good social skills.
Entering the Conversation:
Whether living on or off campus Freshman College students are excited about the
journey they will be embarking on for the next four years. For upper classmen, they
rekindle relationships from the previous years, along with developing new relationships.
One of the areas on campus freshman soon become familiar with, and upper classmen
already know about is the Student Union. In the Student Union is located various
valuable resources, such as the bookstore, eating venues, the computer store, the theatre,
the help desk. It is a centralized location most of the time in the middle of the college
campus. As a new year begins, and as classes start the student union becomes the meeting
place for all sorts of reasons and activities. Here is where the community is built upon.
Students may not be aware that here is where their social skills are sharpened, and
personal growth happens of which they will carry with them all through their life at every
stage and page of it.
One of the most important social skills is cultivating interpersonal relationships. As
students become associated with other students in class, and working on assignments in
groups communication begins. They meet at the meeting place-the student union. As they

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

began to connect they establish commonalities between them. They learn each other likes
and dislikes. They learn personal things about one another. Students learn what behavior
is accepted, and what behavior will not be accepted. There will be differing levels of
sharing and intimacy as they interact with more and more students. Students learn that a
main tool in interacting is just listening to others. You gain valuable information about
others and what they may be experiencing or situations they may have gone through. By
saying nothing and executing the art of listening you learn how you may be able to help
others.

As students develop a sense of community, they will soon learn to curve their

own ego. Conversations will no longer be just about them. What they have or what
theyve done. They will become more cognizant of others and their thoughts and feelings.
They will respect others opinions on issues, and also they will begin to take in
consideration what other people think about them. Walls and images theyve built up
about themselves begin to crumble and they become the better for it. The more they are
around positive people the more they should become positive and draw from others
strength. Constant interaction with others brings out a sense of finding their voice among
many others, and standing firm on what they believe, all the while coming to realize that
they can be persuaded to change their opinion on issues. All the while still building on the
social skills for life.
Not only will students establish and build on relationships with other students
regarding class assignments, and the like, they will create relationships with professors,
and instructors, and the university staff members. Students develop in a level of respect
for adults as they transition into becoming adults. In these relationships as becoming
adults they will progress in being more responsible and independent while being students.

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

Many times they will have to take the initiative if grades are not up to par, of if they do
not understand an assignment to make an appointment with the instructor to see how they
can clear up any issues. These actions will strengthen the social skills of being
interpersonal; interacting, and communicating. Students will discover that this is a whole
new ball game. There will be no one to depend on to correct problems, and situations like
there was when they were living at home. You are constantly building on the social skills
for life.
Students could possibly become affiliated with campus organizations, like book
clubs, sororities or fraternities, or organizations that are geared toward helping others. At
this point students begin to venture outside of the campus community into the local
community, which will help them further develop at defining themselves. They will
discover they have leadership abilities and begin carving out their own path in life.

As

they progress the social skill of networking takes shape. In networking students gain
knowledge that could ultimately assist them in their career path, and the work world.
Students become more comfortable with appropriating the right social skills at the right
time. They gain more and more confidence, and are able to apply themselves. All the
while you are still hammering away at building on your social skills for life.
Upon graduation students now become employers or employees, or independent
contractors, and business owners. Now they are adults and have all of this knowledge and
skills to take with them as they enter the work world. Most of them will remember the
social skills they have matured in and allow these lessons to help them move forward in
life. Interacting, and communicating, and networking with other adults will be easier. As
you advance your career in the work world, you will affect other adults. Just as in college

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

there will be a lot of opinionated people in the work world, only now they may or may
not have degrees, but they will always have an opinion about something. Most of them
will tell you that they have been in this work world a lot longer than you, so there are not
many things you can tell them. Oh, have I mentioned that charm is a great social skill to
throw in at this point. There will be many issues and challenges that will arise as the
students turned adults will have to face every day, but if they draw from all of their social
skills developed in college and life experiences up to this point, they will overcome
anything.

Many times, how you perceived your college years whether positive or

negative is how you perceive life and the work world.

A positive attitude will help you

succeed and have longevity in the work world, while you build on the social skills needed
in life.
Life at this point becomes another new adventure, and the social skills you have
progressed and matured in are a part of the person you have become. By now you may
have considered dating and marriage. After marrying, two people are now cohabiting, but
now its not your female or male roommate, its your wife or husband. You have to put
those social skills to the test once again by being really interpersonal, communicating,
curving your ego, networking etc. The ability and skill to quickly problem solve and
resolve all issues are essential to maintaining a happy and healthy marriage. Many times
in a marriage one or the other may have to be the one to say I was wrong. You will
begin to realize how much smoother life has gone for you as you have built on and
perfected in what you know as social skills.
But wait! Youre not finished yet. The ultimate test will be becoming a Father or
Mother, a parent, grandparent. This is the when all of the social skills youve learned will

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

be passed on to your children and grandchildren. Children from birth are very
impressionable. They watch what you do and say, and mimic everything they see and
hear. They learn good or bad social skills from their parents. As the parent drawing from
every good social skill you have acquired, and by now your arsenal is full of great skills
is what should be taught to your children. Every skill you have will be used by this time.
Without realizing it children will test your social skills and pull you out of your comfort
zone. From crying, to getting upset, to asking questions you may not have the answer for
right then, and everything in between, but you should be ready for anything even to say I
dont have the answer, but well find it. Parenting skills are just drawing from good
social skills.
Social skills are what we cultivate from beginning of life to the end. How we
develop in them is up to each individual. We never stop learning. We sharpen some skills
more than others for example interaction more than charm, or communicating more than
actual involvement. But at the end of it all, our book of life is full of lessons learned and
tools sharpened. Looking back, social skills are at the center of all we become in life. It
has been shown that no matter the path in life you choose, your choice to or not to
develop in these great skills will determine how far you succeed or dont succeed in every
area of your own personal life.
This paper started with a lesson in observing people in a given setting (Figured
world), and then choosing an issue within that setting. Students, from their freshman year
through the senior year develop socially day by day, year by year. Cultivating their skills,
from the most important ones, like being interpersonal, to being able to communicate,
having respect, being able to listen, or knowing when to speak up and speak out. They

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

also have the capability of using some skills like charm that may not be applicable every
day, but they mature in them all. The issue being social skills is a very broad but
interesting topic. As you can see the development and maturity in social skills have been
incorporated throughout your entire life. Social skills play a significant role in the whole
person you become. Who you become will determine what kind of a husband and father
or mother you will be and what skills you teach your children. The skills taught to them
will determine what kind of people they become, and so on throughout your family
history. You need to care about what you consider as good verses bad social skills. If you
develop in bad social skills then that is the thread you will weave through your family.
Think about searching inside yourself and researching for whatever assistance you may
need to jumpstart a right path to developing good verses bad social skills while you are in
a community atmosphere like college. There are a lot of research avenues to help you
develop in any good social skills you may be lacking in. Good skills will carry you a long
way in life. Now, on the other hand bad skills are a whole new avenue. Cutting class,
plagiarizing, drinking, smoking, being belligerent, and the like are a few of the bad skills
you do not want to develop. Fellow students will not want to be around you, especially if
this is the course they choose to avoid at all cost, even if it means cutting off the
relationship with a friend. Instructors will not tolerate such behavior. You would be
wasting your time and not to mention thousands of dollars. As mentioned previously the
skills you cultivate as you progress in life from college to the work world and moving up
in your career, are the ones you will carry into a marriage and pass on to your children
and grandchildren.

Also as mentioned previously your children mimic the behavior they

see their parents portray. Are bad social skills really what you want to teach your children?

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

Whether you realize it or not by your actions and behavior, without saying a word is what
your children will imitate. Teachers will label your children as troublemakers,
unresponsive, uncooperative, no positive interaction, not developed in communications
skills etc. you get where Im going with this. They will note them as having behavioral
issues, and slow or no development in good social skills. Where did this issue began,
most likely you, the parent. So it is best not just for you, but your future as well to
develop in what are known to be good social skills, so you will be able to pass on to your
children skills to help develop a better person who will ultimately have better quality of
life.
Conclusion:
This paper started with a lesson in observing people in a given setting (Figured out
world), and then choosing an issue within that setting. Students, from their freshman year
through the senior year develop socially day by day, year by year. Cultivating their skills,
from the most important ones, like being interpersonal, to being able to communicate,
having respect, being able to listen, or knowing when to speak up and speak out. They
also have the capability of using some skills like charm that may not be applicable every
day, but they mature in them all. The issue being social skills is a very broad but
interesting topic. As you can see the development and maturity in social skills have been
incorporated throughout your entire life.

Social skills play a significant role in the

whole person you become. Who you become will determine what kind of a husband and
father or mother you will be and what skills you teach your children. The skills taught to
them will determine what kind of people they become, and so on throughout your family
history. You need to care about what you consider as good verses bad social skills. If you

Developing Your Social Skills, p. 10

develop in bad social skills then that is the thread you will weave through your family.
Think about searching inside yourself and researching for whatever assistance you may
need to jumpstart a right path to developing good verses bad social skills while you are in
a community atmosphere like college. There are a lot of research avenues to help you
develop in any good social skills you may be lacking in. Good skills will carry you a long
way in life. Now, on the other hand bad skills are a whole new avenue. Cutting class,
plagiarizing, drinking, smoking, being belligerent, and the like are a few of the bad skills
you do not want to develop. Fellow students will not want to be around you, especially if
this is the course they choose to avoid at all cost, even if it means cutting off the
relationship with a friend. Instructors will not tolerate such behavior. You would be
wasting your time and not to mention thousands of dollars. As mentioned previously the
skills you cultivate as you progress in life from college to the work world and moving up
in your career, are the ones you will carry into a marriage and pass on to your children
and grandchildren.

Also as mentioned previously your children mimic the behavior they

see their parents portray. Are bad social skills really what you want to teach your children?
Whether you realize it or not by your actions and behavior, without saying a word is what
your children will imitate. Teachers will label your children as troublemakers,
unresponsive, uncooperative, no positive interaction, not developed in communications
skills etc. you get where Im going with this. They will note them as having behavioral
issues, and slow, or no development in good social skills. Where did this issue began,
most likely you, the parent. It is best not just for you, but your future as well to develop in
what are known to be good social skills, so you will be able to pass on to your children
skills to help develop a better person who will ultimately have better quality of life.

Developing Your Social Skills, p. 11