7 Myths About Social Media and Relationships

Social media myths reflect a fear of technology, not experience

Published on May 2, 2013 by Pamela B. Rutledge, Ph.D., M.B.A. in Positively Media, from: www.psychologytoday.com

Humans are social animals. The need to connect is a primal drive. Even our most basic needs,
such as food and safety, have always been accomplished by humans as a group. We werent
equipped to conquer the world with fangs and claws, so we got a prefrontal cortex that gave
us cooperation and attachment.
There are a lot of myths about social media that reflect two fundamental things. The first is
the fear associated with new technologies. The second is the implicit assumption that the old
way of doing things is the "right" way and the news ways are morally superior. It's easy to see
how both of those points of view happen. It's also pretty clear that these types
of cognitive bias don't form a very good basis for evaluating the new tools.
Myth 1: Social media are destroying our social skills and replacing offline relationships

Research shows that social media have enhanced relationships.

Obvious benefactors are shut-ins and socially-avoidant.

Social media provide connective glue for the times between F2F.

Most social media are used to strengthen existing offline relationships.

Social media can connect us to people and opportunities that would not have been
possible without it.

Myth 2: You have to be on all social networkstheyre basically all the same

You should only be on social networks that work for what youre trying to get done.
All communication strategies (personal or business) need to be based on goals.

Do you want to see pictures of your grandchildren? Be on Facebook.

Do you want to keep abreast of late breaking news? Watch Twitter.

Myth 3: You dont have to be on social media at all to have a full and happy life.

What will give you a full and happy life? What are you goals? You may not like the idea
of social media, but your kids or grandkids may. You cant expect others to unadopt
social media because you dont like it. Decide whats important and then figure out the
best way to get it done. My 86-year-old father is on Facebook because thats how he
keeps track of the grandkids. I may prefer to communicate with people by email, but if I
want to wish my nieces and nephews a happy birthday, I do it by text.
If youre a professional, people expect a web presence. It is a method of validation. No
presence is what looks sketchy now. People want to get to know you before they work
with you.

Myth 4 : People dont tell the truth on social media

Do some people lie about themselves online? Yes, but its the minority. Research
suggests that people are generally fairly truthful and that fakes get busted and ostracized.

Nobody likes to be tricked. It's easy to triangulate information and perform a bit of due
diligence if you're suspicious.
Remember that you present yourselves differently depending upon where you are and
what you're up to offline, too. You dont dress or act the same at a business meeting
compared to a tailgate party for your favourite NFL team. That's not fake. That's contextappropriate behaviour.

Myth 5: You cant control your social media presence

True, you cant completely control your social media presence, BUT and this is a very big
BUT, it makes a significant difference if you learn how the tools you use work. There are
things that you can and should do. We learned how to drive a car before getting on the
freeway. Social media are powerful tools, so you should learn to use it before you crash
and burn.
Learn privacy settings for each platform.

Update your profile carefully dont give out personal information that can be
accumulated across all sites your address, your city, your dogs name, your vacation
plans.

Think before you speak. The Internet is permanent and searchable. Remember the
grandma rules--one FOR grandma and one FROM her. The first is don't publish
something you wouldn't want your grandma to see. The second is to heed her advice,
never talk about someone in an elevatoryou never know whos listening. The whole
world is the elevator now.

Myth 6: Online relationships arent real

Online relationships can take longer to achieve a level of intimacy, but they have other
advantages. People feel safer and therefore disclose more information about their true
selves. Relationships that develop online are often based more on substance and less on
looks.
While physical cues are very important to understanding meaning, there are ways that
people deliver that information, such as emoticons or including LOL, that indicate humour,
sarcasm, anger, etc.
Online connections can provide very meaningful links when nothing else is available. A
much-loved colleague passed away recently and his memorial service was live-streamed.
That provided those of us who lived too far away to attend the opportunity to share that
deep emotion. More importantly, it also let us express it to one another via chat windows
and begin to process our grief. What started as profound sadness for our loss became an
opportunity to reaffirm the connections within the group as a living tribute to our friend.

Myth 7 : Social media dont do any good

Social media have enabled people to access emergency resources and donate money in
crises. The Red Cross raised $5 million from text messages in the first 24 hours after the
earthquake in Haiti.
Social media have given us a peak into the worlds of others increasing empathy.

Social media have inspired others to take action by believing that they are not alone and
that others feel the same way, such as the shared social unrest that fuelled a sense of
collective agency that resulted in the Arab Spring.

Social media have allowed (forced?) companies to be more responsive and honest with
their customers.

Social media expose a lot of bad behaviour that it would take a lot longer to find out
about, both locally and globally.

Cel lnek pojednv o 7 mtech tkajcch se socilnch mdii a mezilidskch

vztah. Pokusm se je ve zkratce shrnout, a na zvr napsat krtk koment.
Nejdleitj pro n vzkum jsou informace vychzejc z bodu 1 a 6.
Mt 1: Sociln mdia ni nae sociln dovednosti a nahrazuj bn vztahy
- lnek tento bod zpochybuje a jako argumenty uvd, e je prokzno,
e sociln mdia podporuj vztahy, navazuj na existujc ptelstv a
roziuj je. Dle pak poskytuj prosted, ve kterm se vztahy mohou
rozvjet a spojuj lidi, kte by bez socilnch st nemli monost zstat
v kontaktu.
Mt 2: Je poteba bt na vech socilnch st zrove? / vechny sociln st jsou
v podstat stejn
- Kad ze socilnch st m svj el. Mli bychom bt pouze na tch,
kter spluj nae poadavky a kvli kterm si je vybrme Facebook je
uren zejmna pro spojovn lid, vytven a roziovn ptelstv a pro
udren souasnho kontaktu. Twitter je hlavn pro zskvn pehledu o
novch informacch a krtkch aktualitch, kter se nazvaj Tweety.
Linkedin se pouv pro poteby pracovnho zaazen a business
sektoru.
Mt 3: Nen poteba bt na socilnch mdich, abychom mli astn a pln
ivot
- Ve zkratce, lnek hovo, e je poteba si uvdomit, co od ivota
ekme a jak jsou nae hodnoty. Nen poteba se vbec jakmkoliv
zpsobem astnit socilnch st, ani se jim podizovat, ale nememe
v tom dnm zpsobem brnit ostatnm a pesvdovat je o vlastnm
nzoru. Dle si musme uvdomit, e dan zpsob spojen me bt
jednou z mla alternativ, kter mme a pokud se j zekneme, me se
stt, e kontakt s danm lovkem pln ztratme.
Mt 4: Lid nekaj na socilnch mdich pravdu
- Vtina lid o sob mluv na svch profilech pravdu. Velk st lid vak
o sob nek veker informace a asto se nm me zdt, e se online
chovaj jinak, ne ve skutenosti. Spe bychom se vak mli zamyslet,
zda se nejedn pouze o chovn vhodn pro internetov prosted,
zatmco pro striktn formln pleitosti je vhodn chovn jin. Ve
vsledku se jedn o stejnho lovka, chovajcho se jinm zpsobem
v odlinch prostedch

Mt 5: Nen mon kontrolovat, co je o ns dostupn

- lnek argumentuje, e do velk mry je mon kontrolovat, co se o ns
kdo dozv na zklad nastaven soukrom a vyuit vech dostupnch
nstroj. Dokonce je i mon rozadit nae znme do skupin, kdy pro
kadou z nich budou dostupn jin informace. Nejzkladnjmi pravidly
vak stle zstv, neposkytujme pli osobn informace typu adresa,
jmno psa, data narozen rodi, Dle nikdy nezveejujte informace,
o kterch by nemla vdt vae babika, a nikdy nekejte nic ve
vtahu, protoe nevte, kdo poslouch. Ve vztahu k socilnm stm je
vtah cel svt, kter je online.
Mt 6: Online vztahy nejsou opravdov
- U online vztah dle trv, ne se pekro urit mez intimity a ne se
lovk vce oteve, na druhou strany je u nich kladen vt draz na
samotnou osobnost lovka, msto jeho vzhledu, majetku a dalch
aspekt. Jeliko je velice tk u psan konverzaci vyjdit emoce,
pouvaj se zkratky a smajlky, kter je nahrazuj. V neposledn ad je
online kontakt jeden z mla zpsob, jak za uritch okolnost projevit
ast. Jako pklad je uveden smuten obad, dvnho ptele, na kter
bychom se nemohli dostavit, ale kter nm me bt zprostedkovn
pomoc internetu,
Mt 7: Sociln mdia nedlaj dn dobro
- Sociln st jsou schopn zmobilizovat velk mnostv lid v ppad
humanitrn katastrofy a pimt je, aby podpoili zchrann projekt
v dan oblasti. erven k zskal za prvnch 24 hodin po zemtesen
na Haiti $5 milion. Sociln mdia vzbuzuj empatii a jsou mocnm
nstrojem pro svoln demonstrac a vyjadovn nepopulrnch
nstroj. Veker udlosti kolem Arabskho jara, maj spojitost se
socilnmi stmi, zejmna s Facebookem. V neposledn ad podporuj
odhalovn neestnho chovn firem a poukazuj na lokln a globln
problmy.
Zvrem bych se chtl zamyslet nad tm, zda my lid, kte se astnme virtuln
reality, bychom si dokzali pedstavit, ivot bez socilnch mdi a zda by se
jednalo o pozitivn, i negativn alternativu. J osobn se domnvm, e svt by se
bez Facebooku, Twitteru a dalch st nezhroutil, ale jestli by se jednalo o dobrou,
i patnou monost je otzkou do diskuze. V budoucnu bude slit role socilnch
st, ale doposud jsem nenabyl dojmu, e by v blzk dob dolo k nahrazen
bnch mezilidskch vztah tmi online. V ppad, e budeme dodrovat
zsady bezpenho chovn se na internetu a nebudeme virtuln realit
pikldat plinou dleitost a nepimen mnostv asu, nen se podle mne
eho obvat.

Erik Mller, 5.B