Aguilar

Brianna Aguilar
John Kubler
English 115
23 October 2014
The Twists and Turns of Empowerment
Everyone has his or her own ideas about sex, and more generally, different cultures also
have different ideas of what is acceptable in a society when it concerns sexual expression. Not
everyone has the same views about what kind of sexual expression is appropriate for the public
to be exposed to. With so many ideas about this widely discussed topic, its no wonder there has
never been a universal way to embrace sexuality the correct way. These issues have been
reoccurring since anyone can remember, and professionals, such as psychologists and writers,
constantly debate the negative and positive affects of the many kinds of sexual expression. One
of these people being Sharon Lamb, states we must not confuse sexual freedom with a
commodified version of sexuality (316) which goes against Zo Petersons claims that girls
expressing their sexuality is a positive thing. This debate is everyones concern, yet it seems to
almost solely revolve around the sexuality of girls and young women. Much of what is written
and debated about is about the way women are treated by men, and more importantly, whether or
not women in our American society are being empowered through their personal actions and
decisions. What women do in the name of sexual expression is often seen as being hypersexualized, but by whose standards? What some consider degrading and disempowering might
be empowering to someone else, which is why so many people discuss the idea of
empowerment. But, because everyones idea of empowerment varies, it only makes sense that
we look at sexual empowerment as a subjective matter, because, if sexual empowerment is an
objective matter no one could ever truly be empowered, especially women. Women should be

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able to freely express themselves because not only does it allow women to be confident with
their bodies and minds as they are, but it also empowers them in ways other than sexuality.
As a result of these circumstances, it is important that we especially focus on the
empowerment of women because their sexual expression has always been the most controversial.
It is obvious that women are not treated as sexual beings the same way that men are and we have
to question why that is. Even before women were allowed to be as sexually expressive as they
are now, in the media and in everyday life, men were already objectifying and degrading women.
Yet even the idea of empowerment to professionals is a tricky subject, we dont exactly know if
someone is being empowered because we dont know how they feel. Zo Peterson, psychologist,
also believes that sexual empowerment is subjective, and states it [empowerment] is poorly
defined, and different authors use the term to mean different things, (308) meaning that if we
dont have clear meaning of empowerment how is it possible to differentiate the positive kinds of
empowerment from the negative kinds of empowerment? We cant decide that one form of
expression has negative or positive affects because the conditions for empowerment are
constantly changing. Basing empowerment on the personal feelings of each individual is the way
because at the end of the day its the individual that has to live with the choices he or she made.
While some may argue that there is a proper way to express sexual empowerment and
sexuality as whole, we have to realize that not everyone feels comfortable expressing their
sexuality in the same ways as others. The idea that empowerment differs from person to person
can be seen in the film Crazy, Stupid, Love. In this film we are introduced to Cal who has just
been separated from his wife after she admits she has had an affair and wants a divorce. Soon
Cal is forced into the single life and he soon meets a guy named Jacob. Jacob is a womanizer,
and he teaches Cal how to talk to women to get them to sleep with him. Cal and Jacob are
complete opposites when it comes down to sexual expression, and they both have very different

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preferences. For example after sleeping with several women, what Jacob encouraged him to do,
Cal feels even emptier than before. He doesnt feel empowered after sleeping with so many
women because it wasnt what he wanted. On the other hand Jacob takes pride in having slept
with dozens of women, once again because he wants to. Both men do their share of
womanizing in the story, but the reasons for why they do so is what makes one feel
empowered and the other feel disempowered. Cals attempt to forget his wife fails, and he later
realizes that he wants a meaningful relationship with the person he loves rather than sleep around
with strange women.
Not only does the relationship between Cal and Jacob clearly show the subjectivity of
sexual expression, it also presents a double standard that is very much alive today. That is that it
is expected of men to be overtly sexual because thats the way they were born to be, while
women need security and an actual relationship. But, in Cals case this wasnt true and he was
even teased by Jacob when he revealed that he had only ever had sex with his wife, which then
results in his many affairs. Having sex with strange women is apparently Jacobss solution for
Cal getting over his wife and feeling like a man again, but what if the characters were female
rather than male? It probably wouldnt be so empowering after all. In fact the character would be
seen as just plain desperate, even sad for using meaningless sex as a way to cope with hurt
feelings. As for Jacobs character, a female character with the same motives and sexual drive as
him would likely be slut shamed for her actions. Too many times women are looked down on
for expressing themselves while a male might get a pat on the back for the same kind of
expression. For this very reason, it is important that as a society we allow individuals to decide
what makes them feel empowered, and not let the prehistoric views of others define how an
individual is valued.

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With that in mind, it is also vital that we step away from the idea that men and women are
completely different because of biology, and take a good look at our surroundings. There are
many factors that go into becoming the person you are, some of those being home and cultural
influences. We are born into our family dynamic and our culture is given to us as soon as we are
born as well. This is very true in Marjis character in Persepolis, where Marji grows up in a very
strict culture that condemns any form of sexual expression, especially towards the women. Due
to this very strict culture Marji is has somewhat of a culture shock when she moves to Austria
and discovers that people are more open about their sexual experiences there. At first it makes
Marji extremely uncomfortable, this is especially true in chapter, The Pill, when Marji is at a
party and states, I was turned off by all these public displays of affection. What do you
expect, I came from a Traditionalist country (185). This behavior is obviously not empowering
to Marji, because of her roots she is nearly disgusted at the sight of so much public affection.
However, it seems as though the longer she is in Austria the more she participates in the same
activities as kids her age. As a result of this Marji then feels it is okay to express herself sexually.
We first see this in Hide and Seek when Marji attempts to lose her virginity to her boyfriend
Enrique, but this night was different. I felt ready to lose my innocence (212). Although
Marjis culture back home is against sex before marriage it is normal where she currently lives,
and she also feels like she is ready to have sex. She was motivated to have sex on her own and
without Enrique pressuring her, which is her way of being empowered. So, even if at first what
appeared to be an over sexualized society to her is what allowed her to realize that sex, wasnt
such a bad thing after all.
Much of what is in our society is considered hyper sexualized, and it is also often blamed
for the negative kinds of sexual expression, or pornographied expression as stated by Nicola
Gavey in Beyond Empowerment? Sexuality in a Sexist World (720). But whether or not a

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form of sexual expression is considered positive or negative, it is the individuals feelings that
should be taken into consideration. It is only right to let women and girls be as sexually
expressive as boys, without their culture telling them they are degrading to themselves. It is only
right that women have the ability to control their life entirely. This starts with having their own
ideas and making their own choices. Girls shouldnt be taught that their forms of sexual
expression is wrong, they should be taught that respecting themselves, overall, is what is truly
empowering.
Blaming an over sexualized media for the degradation of girls isnt helping the cause at
all. Instead, we, as a society should teach everyone, especially boys, that girls have the same
right to express or to not express their feelings, emotions, and sexuality as they do. Our culture
may not be perfect in the way it expresses sexuality, but when women are expressing themselves
the way they never had been before we should look at it as a start towards equality, not the
degradation of the female population.

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Works Cited
Gavey, Nicola. "Beyond Empowerment? Sexuality in a Sexist World." Sex Roles 66.11-12
(2012): 718-24. Web.
Lamb, Sharon. "Porn as a Pathway to Empowerment? A Response to Peterson's Commentary."
Porn as a Pathway to Empowerment? A Response to Peterson's Commentary. Feminist
Forum, 01 Mar. 2010. Web. 30
Peterson, Zo D. "What Is Sexual Empowerment? A Multidimensional and Process-Oriented
Approach to Adolescent Girls Sexual Empowerment." Sex Roles 62.5-6 (2010): 307-13.
Web.
Satrapi, Marjane. "The Pill." Persepolis. New York, NY: Pantheon, 2003. N. pag.
Print.
Crazy, Stupid, Love. Dir. Glenn Ficarra and John Requa. Perf. Steve Carrell, Ryan Gosling,
Julianne Moore, Emma Stone. Warner Bros., 2011. Online.