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this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2015
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Looking for a woman who helped me very much at the VA. Please read./r/all (self.
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submitted 14 hours ago * by peanut_butter_scotch
I am a male, and a combat veteran. I was doing well mentally for a while, under
the care of doctors and taking medication for PTSD and depression. One day, I we
nt to the VA to see my doctor and pick up meds. I was not doing well, a divorce
and financial problems had triggered my PTSD. And the VA was very crowded that d
ay. I was just trying to get meds at the pharmacy so I could go hone, but it was
so packed full of people and everyone was so rude and loud that I was having a
full on panic attack. I sat against a wall, shaking and in tears. Then, she stoo
d next to me.
She asked me when I got back. Fellow veterans always can tell when someone is fr
esh from the combat zone, and I know I appeared that way. I told her I had been
back for a few years but I was not doing well. And I just broke down. She listen
ed as I vented about the clusterfuck of rude people, and how I could not calm do
wn. I said, "I know, I am just supposed to fucking breathe, right?" That is what
the counselors at the VA always said. Just breathe, it will be okay.
"No." She said. "That is fucking pointless. Breathing will not help you right no
w. You are having a present reaction to a problem from the past. Right now, you
need to ground yourself and get out of the fear loop so you can calm down and be
gin to relax."
I asked, how do I do that? She told me about how everyone has something differen
t to ground them. Something comforting, something that triggers endorphins and h
appy memories. She said, she has a bottle of clove extract in her pocket, the sm
ell reminds her of her grandmother.
I began thinking of what I could use. She asked me if I wanted to go have a smok
e with her outside, and I did, so we went to the smoking gazebo. I asked her whe
re she learned these things that she was telling me about, no one ever understoo
d and gave me tips that helped.
Then she told me about reddit. And about a few subs that are primarily for women
, to discuss anything, and a lot of women talked about these coping skills to co
pe after rape and domestic violence. I felt sad suddenly, and thought of the rap
e problem in the military. She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good
chance she had been raped. As she spoke, I thought of how bad she had it. Not on
ly did she have PTSD like me and so many other men do, but she had PTSD from get
ting raped by the very men that were supposed to have her back.
She told me about the online community that helps her more than the stupid group

therapy we all had to go to. So I have lurked on reddit for a while. But I want
ed to reach out and thank her, but no idea what her username is. I know she freq
uents subs like this that are aimed at women, so I was hoping that maybe she wou
ld see this and would know how much it meant to me that she helped me. If anyone
here knows of a female veteran that frequents here, let me know.
Mysterious woman from the VA, thank you so much. You helped me find a path to he
aling. And I hope you find this.
Edit: I made this post then took a nap. I checked reddit on my phone and noticed
the very overwhelming response. Thank you, to everyone, for your support. And I
think I may have found her! My apologies for not respondingnto most of you, som
etimes I find even interacting with strangers online can be very anxiety inducin
g so I tend to steer clear, which is why I took so long to even make an account
on here. But I appreciate the kindness; I was not expecting to get this kind of
response. Thank you.
And final edit: well, found her. And, that is all. Being able to talk with her a
gain is great, and the positive response is nice, but the negative shit and the
insults being thrown and both her and I is very sad. I do not know why people mu
st hurt others when they are getting kind attention from others but I am told th
at is the way of Reddit. No, we will not be dating, she has a boyfriend which I
knew because he was there when I first met her. Tomorrow we are meeting for lunc
h, maybe she will post pics of it. I thought this would be fun and exciting but
with the negativity I am dreading even coming on reddit again. So, if she wants
to post pics tomorrow that will be up to her.
323 commentsshare
all 323 comments
sorted by: best
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1270 points 12 hours ago*
So, I passed this post by with an upvote and moved on. I was watching TV and it
clicked.
Was this at the VA in Loma Linda, CA?
And I appreciate the gold, guys, but please do not gild me anymore. I get the se
ntiment, but please, give it to someone else. I have no use for it.
permalink
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 518 points 11 hours ago
Yes! The VA in Loma Linda! Sorry I took so long to respond, I made this post, th
en took my meds and ended up passing out. Is this you?
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 141 points 11 hours ago
I hope so, this is one of the best things I've read in a while.
permalinkparent
[ ]joethomma 71 points 7 hours ago
It was all made possible by /u/bloody_twat_rag
permalinkparent
[ ]AcknowledgeTheLlama 17 points 6 hours ago
And her grandmothers cloves
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 117 points 11 hours ago
Oh. I am still new to this, I have only been lurking on reddit for a few weeks,
maybe. I did not know that.
permalink
[ ]tryingtomakeit9 74 points 11 hours ago
So...is it her?
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 210 points 10 hours ago
Yes it is her!
permalinkparent
[ ]bhamv 38 points 10 hours ago
Yay!
permalinkparent

[ ]allygraceless 23 points 10 hours ago


This makes me so happy :)
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 22 points 8 hours ago
I love /u/bloody_twat_rag. She always has words of wisdom.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 10 points 7 hours ago
Is she well known on this site?
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 18 points 7 hours ago
I have no idea, but I find her name very memorable.
permalinkparent
[ ]A_Cylon_Raider 9 points 7 hours ago
Probably not, it's just a common thing people joke about here when really nice o
r helpful people have surprising or strange usernames.
permalinkparent
[ ]aazav 21 points 9 hours ago
Glad you found the woman who helped you.
Feel better and when you can, pass on the same help that she gave you.
Cheers.
permalinkparent
[ ]terriblecowgirl 12 points 10 hours ago
This is beautiful. I'm glad you found her!!! :)
permalinkparent
[ ]littlemissderpy 7 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]digitalyss 7 points 9 hours ago
Holy shit
permalinkparent
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 10 points 10 hours ago
They are apparently PMing right now, so... I think so?
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]your_ex_girlfriend- 40 points 11 hours ago
The MUA in me loves this cat eye and the TwoXer in me wants it to be her... even
if it is kind of weird to repost this album here...
permalink
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 40 points 10 hours ago
Tape. That is my secret here on the eye make up. Tape.
permalinkparent
[ ]Mojitana 6 points 8 hours ago
That's a really great tip. Thanks!
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 138 points 11 hours ago
Wow I look like shit in those pics.
permalink
[ ]LabGeeked 156 points 11 hours ago
Shaddap, you are lovely in every way.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 186 points 10 hours ago
Yes, she is as beautiful outside as she is on the inside.
permalinkparent
[ ]ilovegingermen 92 points 9 hours ago
peanut_butter_scotch and bloody_twat_rags - A Love Story
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 118 points 9 hours ago
Perhaps, but I am in a happy relationship with children. This could be the start
of a friendship, though.
permalinkparent

continue this thread


[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 60 points 10 hours ago
Sorry, I honestly didn't think you looked bad and they were from the first post
with your face that I found. I was just trying to help u/peanut_butter_scotch, d
oesn't sound like he knows how to look at a users' profile.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 120 points 10 hours ago
Its OK, the pics are just not flattering because I posted them to MUA for CC. Me
and him are talking on fb messenger right now, I think he is a bit overwhelmed
and shocked by the response he got.
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 51 points 10 hours ago
Okay now that is just fantastic. Cheers to you for being the good person you nee
ded to be at the time you needed to be it. It sounds like you selflessly helped
a fellow human when it really mattered.
permalinkparent
[ ]HaloNinjee 12 points 9 hours ago
I <3 you.
I know of the typical subs like this but if you have some suggestions for more I
'm looking to show my wife around the friendlier side of reddit.
permalinkparent
[ ]itsme_eloise 16 points 9 hours ago
Hey there - what does your wife like? TwoX is good, /r/TrollXChromosomes is amaz
ing as is their brother sub /r/TrollYChromosome. I personally also like some sub
reddits aimed at improving my appearance that have a bit more of a feminine comm
unity like /r/MakeupAddiction, /r/SkincareAddiction and /r/HaircareScience. Depe
nding on what she likes, there's probably a subreddit for it!
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]cviwood 10 points 8 hours ago
I like the SFWPornNetwork. Also it is not porn, they are sub reddits with pretty
pretty pictures.
/r/AbandonedPorn has images like this old stairway.
Check the right columnfor related subreddits.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 5 points 9 hours ago
Twox, and if you look in the sidebar they have links for related subs. That is h
ow I navigate around.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 17 points 10 hours ago
So it is you? Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]marshmallowmermaid 7 points 9 hours ago
:) I'm glad you got to connect.
permalinkparent
[ ]KitsBeach 4 points 5 hours ago
I just want to say that I recognize your name from other lady-oriented subs and
I thought you always seemed like a swell gal. This post cements that!
permalinkparent
[ ]diestate_enter 3 points 8 hours ago
Ask him how he came up with his username.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 32 points 7 hours ago
Are you talking about me? This is the name my kid gave to my dog. I think it is
the name of a dog on a kid show. I'm not a creative person, and the name always
reminds me of my daughter and makes me smile.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]aazav 14 points 9 hours ago

Ahhh. You look fine.


Glad you took the time to help peanut_butter_scotch out.
You did good.
permalinkparent
[ ]6F6A9O9 16 points 9 hours ago
I think you're real pretty on the inside and on the outside. What we call "all t
he way pretty". You're all the way pretty.
permalinkparent
[ ]GreenlyRose 7 points 7 hours ago
Don't be silly, you look lovely in those pics! :-)
permalinkparent
[ ]Pandibabi 18 points 10 hours ago
Wow u r beautiful .. from another heterosexual female btw dont want to sound cre
epy ok
permalinkparent
[ ]screaming-trees 14 points 10 hours ago
wow i love the great attidfue in this subreddit 10/10
permalinkparent
[ ]darkshy 6 points 8 hours ago
I mean, it could be worse. You look fine. You could actually look like a bloody
twat rag though. That would be terrible.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
In my defense I am wearing a lot of make up in those well mostly eye make up, th
ey were posted to makeupaddiction
permalinkparent
[ ]PushitClaw -2 points 6 hours ago
Just breathe...
permalinkparent
[ ]houseofbacon 12 points 11 hours ago
We must know if its a match. The suspense is thicker than my backup jar of peanu
t butter.
permalinkparent
[ ]Nozphexezora 10 points 11 hours ago
WooOOOooo. Lucky you! I've had a similar situation once, but about drug addictio
n. She never came back.
permalinkparent
[ ]BloodGuts_AngelCake 10 points 9 hours ago
I don't know why but this brought a tear to my eye. It's nice to see there are k
ind people in this world.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ask_Me_What_Love_Is 6 points 6 hours ago
Hey pbs. I'm not her nor a veteran but I've had my fair share of woes and work i
n the loma Linda area (redlands) and if you ever need someone to catch a smoke o
r talk with, grab a beer or lunch with I am here. Just pm me and let me know.
permalinkparent
[ ]kaleybrennan 4 points 8 hours ago
hey idk if you'll see this but you should do a full tutorial of how you did that
makeup. and show what kind you use <3
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 13 points 7 hours ago
I think this was directed at the wrong person.
permalinkparent
[ ]Call_me_Kelly [score hidden] 1 hour ago
If there is a vet center near you I highly recommend checking them out.
http://www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
They specialize in ptsd and reintigration. When the VA became impossible for me
to go to because the noise, the people, and many bad experiences caused me to ha
ve panic attacks any time I entered I began going to the vet center for ptsd hel
p instead.

The atmosphere at my local vet center was awesome. The counselor I saw also help
ed me by creating scripts of what I needed to say to my pdoc and would message h
er on my behalf occasionally.
Also I began teleconference appointments with my va pdoc from a local outpatient
VA clinic. I didn't have the stress of going back into the VA and it allowed me
to tweak and adjust my meds when needed.
If you have nightmares, talk to a pdoc about prazosin. It helps reduce the whole
waking up flooded with adrenalin from nightmares thing. http://www.webmd.com/ato-z-guides/prazosin-for-ptsd
Also, the va prescribed me Xanax for anxiety for two years. If it's prescribed l
ong term for you talk to your doc about longterm side effects. I became full blo
wn agorophobic on it and it took away a year of my life. Imagine my anger when I
learner the va was supposed to have moved away from prescribing it long term du
e to terrible side effects years BEFORE they prescribed it to me.
/r/veterans is a pretty cool subreddit if you've never been.
I so glad someone was able to give you a stepping stone towards healing. I keep
pictures of my kids in my wallet to help ground me during panic attacks. I also
highly recommend changing the immediate surroundings. Leave the room or building
when one starts and it can sometimes help reduce the damage.
Kelly
permalinkparent
[ ]lawdudette -2 points 6 hours ago
/r/bestof!!!!!!
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 12 points 6 hours ago
I hope not I can not handle the harassment I'm not logging in again this is it I
am done
permalinkparent
[ ]PM_ME_TITS_MLADY 12 points 4 hours ago
Sigh, the internet is for everyone. But that's precisely the reason why sometime
s it's not for everyone.
Reddit is one of those places.
I wish you all the best, focus on the positive, always. It'll help at times, I p
romise.
permalinkparent
[ ]CochinBrahmaLover 2 points 3 hours ago
You can delete your account.
Go to preferences and there's an option to delete.
permalinkparent
[+] (1 child)
[ ]Notasurgeon 30 points 11 hours ago
Hey, I was working there today. What a coincidence.
permalinkparent
[ ]jonnyk354 -4 points 6 hours ago
Can you confirm that this event occurred?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Read the post. Did not say it happened today. It happened at the beginning of th
e month.
permalinkparent
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (4 children)
[ ]LoCHiF 22 points 10 hours ago
Gold is largely a donation to reddit. No-one really uses it.
permalinkparent
[ ]DarlinUntitled18 7 points 5 hours ago
I like to think of it somewhat symbolically, as in "Someone made a donation to R
eddit in your name!" sort of like, this comment, this person, or this content is
what I want to see on Reddit. People guild her because she is the kind of perso
n they want their user base to be, and they're proud to use the same website as
her.

permalinkparent
[ ]LoCHiF 3 points 2 hours ago
Agreed. It's a combination of a super emphatic upvote and the donation to reddit
as a sort of "yay reddit!" gesture.
permalinkparent
[ ]DiffidentDissident 9 points 10 hours ago
Hey, thanks for looking out for OP. I think that makes you pretty great.
permalinkparent
[ ]Drachte 17 points 11 hours ago
Op pls
permalinkparent
[ ]rightioushippie 7 points 8 hours ago
so what were the subreddits that helped you find coping mechanisms?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 11 points 8 hours ago
Twox, actually. I had made a post a while ago about being trigger by a video I s
aw of animal abuse that triggered flashbacks from sexual abuse in my childhood a
nd a lot of people gave me grounding tips.
permalinkparent
[ ]King_Penguin_IV [score hidden] 49 minutes ago
What grounding tips helped you the most?
permalinkparent
[ ]wibblywobblychilango 5 points 10 hours ago
Holy shit, things like this are why I love reddit so much! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]monkeiboi 8 points 10 hours ago
ignore her! Everyone gild her!
permalinkparent
[ ]MultiversEngineer 3 points 2 hours ago
Air Force vet here. I have PTSD with panic disorder.
This post is amazing to me. I can appreciate anyone who helps their fellow vets.
I am still in the process of gaining control over my own panic problems. Any ad
vice would be greatly appreciated.
PS: I am currently in school and was also diagnosed with ADD recently. The last
two years have just been a wreck.
permalinkparent
[ ]Defeat 3 points 4 hours ago
Hey there. If it makes you feel better: reddit runs very few ads. Criminally few
. This site was hemorrhaging money, and it probably still is. A few years ago (h
onestly I can't remember reddit time just sort of blurs together for me) reddit
was plagued by serve issues. Nothing would work or load. Then some genius invent
ed reddit gold. Or maybe it was mold first. Either way reddit was saved. Gold is
a donation more to the site we all mooch off of, and is definitely not a reward
for you being amazing. Also panic attacks fucking suck so thank you for helping
that guy out .
permalinkparent
[ ]MrFeles [score hidden] 58 minutes ago
Goddamnit. Read story, imagine some sort of fancy saint. Man calls out to the cr
owd, will she reveal herself?
Blood twat rag emerges.
What a strange mixture of emotions.
Also slightly relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2CWsqGFgkA
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey -2 points 7 hours ago
Weird, I guess you live in Riverside? What are the odds you would live in the sa
me county as myself.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Well, seeing that the Loma Linda VA is used by both Riverside and San Bernardino
Counties, and considering how vast both of those counties are, plus people from

other counties who use that VA because they do not want to go to the others in
LA Jolla or Long Beach due to distance or whatever reasons, it is not so unlikel
y.
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey 4 points 6 hours ago
Well, even though I'm technically a veteran now, I've never had a reason to visi
t the VA and fortunately do not have any problems with PTSD or anything of that
nature. (Depression, but nothing related to my time in).
Plus, I just moved here, so I thought that was interesting.
Either way, best of luck to you. I'm sorry your time in had some truly shitty mo
ments, for lack of a better phrase. I'm sure you're aware, but most of us are ag
ainst that shit. At least, I hope.
permalinkparent
[+]apologies-in-advance comment score below threshold (0 children)
[ ]Walkingonadream7 -1 points 3 hours ago
You can use it to buy some wax for your cross
permalinkparent
[+] (6 children)
[ ]RediscoveredIllusion 53 points 12 hours ago
I have PTSD as well, from abuse situations like so many others here. I am so gla
d someone came along to help you cope. I had forgotten about grounding myself th
is way and reading your post for her... Well, whomever she is, if she finds this
, thank you from me as well.
permalink
[ ]Ivyleaguehandjob 185 points 13 hours ago
My father is a Korean War vet. We sat watching TV and the (new) Wounded Warrior
Project donation commercial comes on and my dad gets very angry. These commercia
ls are on par if not emotionally worse than the starving children and beaten dog
commercials.
We have done something very wrong to our veterans. There should be no need for c
harities like this. NO charities targeting veterans in need of food, clothing, s
helter, education, job training and more.
WWP Purpose:
To raise awareness and enlist the public's aid for the needs of injured service
members.
My father says "NO, that's our governments job, our employer!"
permalink
[ ]athingz 39 points 11 hours ago*
job training and more.
As an Iraq veteran that can't even seem to get a job interview at Walmart, I'm s
tarting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm not sure I have PTSD from my service, but about 8 years later when I finally
went in to a sliding scale clinic for depression symptoms and inability to conc
entrate/study (failing school), they called it "survivor's guilt". I wish it was
my truck that got hit. I volunteered for every convoy after that. Never heard o
f survivor's guilt until I was out for 8 years.
Never used the VA before. Not even sure where to start or where they're located.
I just learned a couple months ago you don't have to be a 20 year vet or have a
disability % to qualify, apparently. All third-hand knowledge. I thought you co
uld only use them for stuff that happened while in, and there's no proof of anyt
hing health related on military record. I've seen my folder right before ETS.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 39 points 10 hours ago
You can use the VA for medical care, even if you do not have a disability claim.
You just need to have served 180 days active service. Go to a local VA with you
r 214 and fill out some paperwork, you can usually be seen right away.
permalinkparent
[ ]panthera213 8 points 9 hours ago
Does your VA offer the chance to look at having service animals? My boyfriend is
in the CF and some of the guys here have gotten service animals to help them wi

th their PTSD. I know that it's been a comfort to them, or at least maybe anothe
r avenue to explore to help you out. Hope you are feeling better.
permalinkparent
[ ]IT_is_not_all_I_am 10 points 8 hours ago
Yeah, I know a guy that breeds and trains dogs for Rebuilding Warriors. I know h
e's trained them for folks with PTSD, but no idea how that organization selects
recipients. Might be worth looking into.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
Or, find someone that gets rescue dogs and trains them instead of dogs that were
bred just for.
permalinkparent
[ ]asianfromamerica 1 point 6 hours ago
SO ARE YOU THE WOMAN THAT HELPED THIS MAN? You are amazing I hope you realize th
at.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1 point 5 hours ago
No. I'm not. I'm average at best.
permalinkparent
[ ]darkangl187 7 points 8 hours ago
the VA is for those who served and discharged honorably, service connection or n
ot. please check them out it sounds like you need to consider service connection
for your survivors guilt.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 7 points 8 hours ago
Not just an honorable discharge. As long as you did not receive a dishonorable.
General, GUH, etc are accepted.
permalinkparent
[ ]Yeynna 4 points 6 hours ago
I'm starting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's the same for the unemployed, disable
d, and homeless who aren't veterans in the US (or anywhere else, I'm not America
n), I don't know what to say about everything else you faced because I can't ima
gine what living through it is like, but I want to say that no matter how much i
t seems like if you were suffering in the "right" way people would care more it'
s not true, it seems that way for everyone, but we're not alone in the facing th
is, and it's not your fault people are dismissing and scornful.
permalinkparent
[ ]Lots42 3 points 5 hours ago
www.211.org has lots of resourves for mental, physical and related help. Easy to
find lots and lots of stuff.
permalinkparent
[ ]preflop 3 points 2 hours ago
Hours late, but if you're having trouble getting things arranged, put in a call
to your local congressional office. You'll probably be assigned to a constituent
casework person and they'll put you in touch with who you need to talk to and w
here you need to go.
permalinkparent
[ ]mmm_toasty 19 points 12 hours ago
Hopefully at some point in the future the laws and regulations regarding providi
ng aid of all kinds to veterans in need will be fixed. For now though, as ways o
f acquiring the funding that the government fails to provide, I think that they
serve an important purpose.
permalinkparent
[ ]pmmesomeavocado 16 points 12 hours ago
The problem is that to do that, you need to raise taxes. And if you do that, you
're a freedom hating commie.
permalinkparent
[ ]bouncer4819 19 points 11 hours ago
Or we could just cut from our extremely overfunded defense budget, and reallocat

e those funds to actually help our vets


permalinkparent
[ ]vuhleeitee 0 points 4 hours ago
Yes. We should fire a whole bunch of people that are a few years away from retir
ement anyway. That makes complete sense.
You do realize that cutting the defense budget just means that it will create mo
re veterans who are at a loss for a stable source of income.
permalinkparent
[ ]tiehunter 3 points 4 hours ago
Or... Instead of buying jets that the military neither needs nor wants, we could
spend that money on veterans.
permalinkparent
[ ]athennna 8 points 11 hours ago
Or you need to better budget the tax revenue you already have.
permalinkparent
[ ]QuelqueChoseRose 0 points 2 hours ago
My understanding is that the V.A.'s fairly well-funded, nowadays. Relative to th
e rest of the federal government, at least. (Its funding's increased in years wh
en even Defense's was cut.) The problem's entirely administrative. It's a bureau
cratic nightmare, and no one's been able to solve it.
I think if a presidential candidate ran on a platform of simply making the feder
al government more efficient, they'd win easily. All the bickering about taxes a
nd spending, and we're still incredibly bad at doing what we want with the money
we tax and spend.
permalinkparent
[ ]hyene 9 points 11 hours ago
no, we don't need to raise taxes. we need to move from mathematically-illogical
capitalism to a scientifically-managed resource-based economy.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ruste 1 point 10 hours ago
Honestly curious, why should the government ever provide a service that is alrea
dy provided for by charities. Why force everyone to pay for something that peopl
e already give willingly to assuming that they provide enough. (I know they don'
t but according to OP there should be NO need for these charities as if it shoul
d be taken care of by the government regardless.)
permalinkparent
[ ]ggqq 7 points 10 hours ago
because there is a fine line we need to skate as a society between socialism and
capitalism to keep the employable people happy. If the government paid for ever
ything, we'd have incredibly high tax. This discourages people from working too
hard with tax brackets so you end up with nobody earning that much and an even h
igher tax because less people earn lots. What we need to do is convince rich peo
ple to be charitable (or rather, just tell rich people to give their money away
for free. I just solved the economic crisis. boom. you're welcome)
permalinkparent
[ ]Otto_Lidenbrock 6 points 9 hours ago
Except that tax brackets have never stopped anyone from making more money. Compl
ain about it, sure... But they still take the raise. It's a patently false argum
ent.
permalinkparent
[ ]undsowbe 10 points 8 hours ago
Your father as a Korean War Veteran would not qualify for the WWP program. Only
post 9/11 Vets qualify. Even at the VA, there are programs that my Vietnam-era h
usband does not qualify for (acupuncture being the most recent). The docs there
want the prestige and kudos that comes from treating recent Vets. It's the same
with the WWP. They know they can rake in the bucks if they play on public sentim
ent for post 9/11 Vets.
Never before have Veterans been excluded from programs based on the era they ser
ved in, until now.
TLDR: Fuck the WWP

permalinkparent
[ ]DrTypo 8 points 7 hours ago
WWP is also something that is wrong. Google wounded warrior project scam, and lo
ok at how much of the money that they collect actually goes to vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 160 points 14 hours ago
That is very sweet and I hope she sees this too! Best of luck on your journey an
d I am so sorry that as a nation we do so little for you and the other veterans.
Our system (what parts are not a clusterfuck) is frustrating at best and I am g
lad you find the courage every day to get up and navigate the system and your sy
mptoms, rather than letting the circumstances win. Hope she sees this! :)
permalink
[ ]mantiskiller 18 points 13 hours ago
I have very little knowledge of what the opportunities available for veterans bu
t always hear that it is inadequate. What improvements do you think the governme
nt could make?
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 29 points 12 hours ago
Well, (I'm assuming you are in the US) the system is just not streamlined and po
orly funded. You go for mental health help, there is no extra or quick he for pe
ople coming in while in crisis. Most get the same wait time as others. You go, y
ou sign up, and then you wait. Some people 6-8 weeks to be seen for someone who
sees you for 10 minutes to determine the meds you need and whether or not therap
y will help. Never mind med changes, trying to get refills. And you can forget h
ousing if you are homeless. Most VA houses/shelters are 30-50 beds and have wait
ing lists a mile long. We have homeless populations of mentally ill veterans who
, with the right meds and a few months of meals and a roof over their head would
be able to work some and get back on their feet. It's just a very broken, poorl
y funded, slow moving system and we as a country should be ashamed of ourselves.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster -3 points 12 hours ago
And you can forget housing if you are homeless.
That's why there is a pension program to give money to those that need it.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 16 points 12 hours ago
Yeah, but in some cases the money isn't enough or the application process is too
long and they are homeless before they get the money. Most homeless vets get mo
ney, its just not enough to live on and they aren't able to hold a job because t
hey can't get enough services to help their PTSD and resulting addictions. I was
a case worker for a veterans program for a year. I only lasted a year. It was t
he worst. The suicide rates, filling out paper work and seeing them be desperate
and only being able to say, 'well, I submitted it. we just have to wait.', not
having housing for them so at 5pm after hours of calling they were back out to w
ander another night on the streets. Ugh, I felt awful.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 21 points 12 hours ago
The pension program is only for vets with wartime service. Peacetime vets don't
have this fallback. Additionally, pension is only for those determined disabled.
There are some newer programs to combat homelessness for vets, but they depend
on location.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster 2 points 11 hours ago*
I'm just saying there is something, many people make it sound like there is no e
ffort at all. Homeless cases are a high priority. You sound like a VSR or VSO?
oh, ok, downvote me for thinking somebody sounds incredibly knowledgeable.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 12 points 11 hours ago
No. I'm a Legal Aid attorney who specializes in vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster 5 points 11 hours ago

Awesome. Nice to meet you.


permalinkparent
[ ]Sulde 37 points 12 hours ago
upvote for visibility.
and dude: when you are going through hell, keep on going. Never never never give
up.
permalink
[ ]endergrrl 36 points 12 hours ago
Female army vet here, though not the one you're looking for. Which VAMC were you
at? I'm glad someone helped you through that and that you found a safe and help
ful space here.
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[ ]crouchtouchpause 32 points 12 hours ago
This is a beautiful post. All I can offer is that it does get better, and that a
nyone capable of writing such an emotionally honest post has already crossed mor
e bridges that most manage in a lifetime.
I hope she reads what you've written, but even if she doesn't you should know th
at many people have understood the sentiment and been moved by it.
permalink
[ ]mablesyrup 9 points 11 hours ago
Posts like this prove why today is the best monday of the year!
permalinkparent
[ ]Tonyman457 12 points 9 hours ago
This post has everything. The tragedy. The cry for help. The rocky montage at th
e VA where everything gets slightly better, but he looses his mentor somewhere.
Then, BAM! they rekindle!
The cherry on top is that her fuckin reddit ID is Bloody Twat Rag. Hits you with
the feels, then brings you back with some good ol' fashioned dark humor.
Most novels aren't this good.
permalinkparent
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
I read this in Stefon's voice :)
permalinkparent
[ ]Edrondol 33 points 6 hours ago
Marine vet here. No PTSD unless you count flashbacks of sitting in a storeroom f
or hours. But I wanted to pop in and say don't sweat the haters. Most of them ar
e just stupid kids trying to be edgy. The rest are assholes because they are ano
nymous and it's how they get their jollies. Just like the military, reddit has g
ood people and reddit has dicks. Unlike the military, you can completely ignore
the dicks here.
Don't know what branch you were in (I didn't read through everything), but I'm g
iving you a big Semper Fi anyway. Stay strong, brother.
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[ ]spookyxskepticism 16 points 11 hours ago
Aaaaand I'm in tears. I'm so glad she was able to help you. Here's an upvote. Ho
pefully with enough of these she'll take notice and see your post! I'm so glad t
hat your experience has helped you on to the path of healing. Thank you so much
for your service <3
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[ ]scarletdrive 3 points 9 hours ago
I needed a good cry today. Bless this post.
permalinkparent
[ ]faeriechyld 16 points 12 hours ago
I hope she gets your message of thanks even if she wants to remain anonymous. An
d I really really hope you start feeling better too. I wish I could do more than
offer internet hugs!
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[ ]schweppesmeoffmyfeet 32 points 13 hours ago
This is why I love Reddit.
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[ ]mightyflynn 14 points 12 hours ago


This is beautiful. I hope you are finding your ground.
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[ ]anniebme 13 points 11 hours ago
Hi friend! I find having a smooth stone in my pocket helps. The stone reminds me
of chilling next to a river. I hope you find your mini-reminder, too!
I have found EMDR therapy rough to go through but helpful to process thoughts an
d memories. It may help you, too. It won't be easy but neither is what you are c
urrently dealing with.
permalink
[ ]BaronessUnderboob 11 points 8 hours ago
I use a piece of hematite sometimes, the weight feels nice in my hands. Though I
don't subscribe to that healing crystals stuff, I just like shiny rocks.
permalinkparent
[ ]anniebme 8 points 8 hours ago
Sounds like a great reminder to just be! Heavy enough to remind, light enough to
carry! Hematite just looks cool, too.
permalinkparent
[ ]DancingHeel 12 points 9 hours ago
I'm not her, but reading this has made me smile. I get down about working at VA
a lot - the bureaucracy and paperwork (and the sexual harassment from older Vets
) are really pushing me out the door. But I like the people I work with, and I k
now they really care about the wellbeing of Veterans. This is a great example of
that. Whether she was an employee or just a fellow Vet receiving services, ther
e are definitely good people in that crazy system.
To anyone else out there struggling with PTSD, other mental health concerns, or
service-related health issues - there is hope. Even when the VA gets horrible pr
ess, even when claims are backlogged - there are good people who want to help an
d are well-equipped to do so. If you haven't sought any help at the VA but you m
ight qualify for services, it's worth a shot. Don't give up. Every VA is, unfort
unately, very different in terms of quality. Shop around if you need to. It real
ly sucks that that's the way it is, because Veterans deserve better care. Govern
ment funding of Veteran services is extremely poor. But I have seen the efforts
of good people help change the system, slowly, from the inside.
permalink
[ ]paulb02 9 points 10 hours ago
This is a great story and I am happy you were able to find one of the good peopl
e at the VA. There is a lot of VA bashing and I understand it is not the best si
tuation for veterans, but some people at the VA do truly care about the Veterans
and their treatment and benefits. While my wife was not a vet herself, she work
s in the Comp and Pension section and deals primarily with the veterans via the
claims process. The Veterans rarely know the person behind the claim but she doe
s go that extra step whenever possible to ensure the claims are not jacked up.
permalink
[ ]TurdFergusonTheThird 10 points 9 hours ago
This post motivated me to join reddit. Long time listener first time poster here
.. Thanks for the energy.
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[ ]TheRealFJ 15 points 6 hours ago
Dude please don't let the ass holes turn you away from Reddit. I get shit all th
e time for the smallest shit here but you need to know that those people are onl
y here to be mean...like the comments on YouTube.
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[ ]Sector_805 23 points 11 hours ago
As a female who has served, I love this and hope she reads this.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
Thank you for your service, ma'am
permalinkparent
[ ]Bm1324 13 points 12 hours ago

Wow, I hope you are able to find her. As someone with PTSD, I find that even a l
ot of well-meaning people don't know what to say or do when I'm triggered or in
a difficult place. They do their best to use methods that they've seen or say th
ings like "It'll be alright," which aren't much help at the moment and too dista
nt for me to connect to. I like that she was real and helped to put you back int
o reality by grounding you in the current place and time. I'll have to remember
this as well :)
permalink
[ ]izzgo 24 points 13 hours ago
Upvoted so maybe she has a better chance to see this.
permalink
[ ]supersayanftw 5 points 12 hours ago
Please update, best of luck to you
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[ ]devoted2mercury 7 points 12 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she sees this; Reddit is awesome.
permalink
[ ]Clayra 7 points 11 hours ago
I know first hand how trying it can be getting treatment from the VA. I sometime
s find that it's easier to go to one of the help desks and ask them to walk you
to wherever you want to go. It won't get you put to the front of the line, but I
've found that things tend to move more smoothly.
Like so much of government work it's just a big good-ole-boys club, and there's
a good chance that anyone working there has to at the very least be friendly wit
h everyone else if they have any hopes of staying.
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[ ]BareKnuckleKitty 7 points 11 hours ago
This is so beautiful. Thank you for your service. I really hope she sees this!
permalink
[ ]petit_cochon 6 points 11 hours ago
Hey buddy, so glad this subreddit has helped you, and I hope it continues to hel
p you as you recover and heal.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 6 points 11 hours ago
OP, thank you for your service and sacrifice. Thanks also to the VA mystery woma
n for her service and sacrifice.
permalink
[ ]nerak1138 6 points 11 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she finds this, but even if she doesn't, she surely knows that s
he made a difference that day. Pay it forward, man. And keep your chin up. Lots
of love to you and all veterans.
permalink
[ ]GimmeMuchosMangos 8 points 11 hours ago
Good luck to you.
permalink
[ ]saraleecupcake 7 points 11 hours ago
Best of luck
permalink
[ ]theBIGnaudd 7 points 10 hours ago
Keep your head up brother! Look for a support group. The VA has resources and ca
n help find you a group to join. Stay strong! There are so many people out there
who care and want to help you out with your experiences.
permalink
[ ]rogue780 6 points 10 hours ago
/r/veterans has some good resources as well
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[ ]SuperChubbs 7 points 8 hours ago
This is really special. I served on a submarine for 4 years getting out in 2012
and I had a hard time readjusting. PTSD and depression combined with feeling lik
e I never related to many other veterans because I served in a different environ

ment then most.


I know it isn't easy to help someone going through PTSD or a panic attack but i'
ve had a few people really come through for me when I needed it and I don't know
where i'd be if they hadn't. Now my life is so much brighter. :) Thank you so m
uch for stepping up and helping that guy, people like you are wonderful.
permalink
[ ]somegaychick 2 points 4 hours ago
I cant even begin to imagine what its like. Thank you for your service. <3
permalinkparent
[ ]SuperChubbs 1 point 3 hours ago
Thank you so much, it used to make me uncomfortable hearing that but it's kinda
nice now that i'm doing so much better :) You made my night.
permalinkparent
[ ]kawaii-throwaway 6 points 8 hours ago
This entire post v was beautiful beginning to end.
My ptsd is considered in remission but I still wear patchouli pull to remind me
of my grandmother. I also have a lyric from one of my favorite songs on my wrist
. Seeing the message (be patient) itself keeps me grounded but being reminded of
the song takes me back to awe inspiring memories that snap me right out of an e
pisode.
It's a magical feeling when you finally find coping mechanisms that actually hel
p. Every moment before that feels like a constant waking nightmare, a landmine o
f triggers, but once you find what works, it's as if a weight is lifted from you
.
permalink
[ ]Milagro_chef 21 points 13 hours ago
I have PTSD. Her definition is exact correct. Thank you.
permalink
[ ]I_require_answers 10 points 10 hours ago
It's disappointing, and sadly unsurprising, that none of the professionals you w
orked with at the VA taught you some grounding skills, I mean that's really trau
ma therapy 101. It makes me sad our vets don't get better treatment than that. A
nyway, glad you guys found each other, and thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]baconchief 5 points 10 hours ago
Thank you for your service Sir! I hope you regain control of your life and can l
ive on happily! Much respect.
permalink
[ ]nocomfychairs 6 points 9 hours ago
Thank you both for your service.
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]Hippiemamklp 5 points 8 hours ago
This made me tear up. I am sending huge cyber hugs to both of you! Sometimes hel
p comes in the most unlikely ways:-) Glad you are both getting help and I hope h
ealing.
permalink
[ ]ilokaners 6 points 7 hours ago
That's great. I wish you the best in healing. Sorry the VA doesn't help as much

as it should. I wish it would change but people like you and your friend are an
inspiration. Thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]squirtsmilk 5 points 7 hours ago
Thank you to our vets.. And to kind and compassionate people .... They make the
world safe for us all.
permalink
[ ]Noculum 7 points 6 hours ago
This warmed my heart. What a lovely story.
permalink
[ ]MonkeyNacho 7 points 6 hours ago
Thank you both for your service. I hope she, and the rest of us here on Reddit,
can help you find a road to inner peace.
permalink
[ ]Lots42 17 points 6 hours ago
You're on a woman-friendly sub-reddit that ended up on /r/all. That's why there'
s some negativity floating to the surface. /r/all is full of jackasses who can't
deal with the fact woman-friendly sub-reddits exist.
Or that women exist.
permalink
[ ]chocobodanger 8 points 7 hours ago
I have PTSD as well from rape. I have been diagnosed but the "system" here has f
ailed me by not getting me treatment needed (saw a counselor, put on depression/
anxiety meds, told I would have therapy and have not seen another counselor sinc
e?) You inadvertently helped me cope just by posting what she had told you.
permalink
[ ]txdahlia 10 points 6 hours ago
Unfortunately social media can bring out the dark side of those to impotent to s
how it in their daily lives because they fear repercussions, so they use an anon
ymous faceless version of themselves and pretend to be a bad ass. You are worthy
of happiness and peace after your great sacrifice. Don't let others put you dow
n.
permalink
[ ]dftexas165 5 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaay! The power of reddit. Glad you found her! I appreciate your service too b
uddy. I really hope you learn how to deal with you're issues brought on by your
experiences at war.
permalink
[ ]lotsofsippycups 4 points 9 hours ago
Aww I'm so glad you found her! :)
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[ ]Ammoholic 3 points 8 hours ago
My dad is a doctor who treats ptsd at that va. Ask to see Dr goldstein. He will
help you for sure!
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[ ]soitgoes182 4 points 8 hours ago
This is fucking beautiful!!
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[ ]liesforliars 4 points 7 hours ago
I'm so happy you found her, man !! The internet can be wonderful..
permalink
[ ]dontdid 5 points 7 hours ago
This is so touching. Thank you both for your service and compassion. I hope you
find relief from what haunts you.
permalink
[ ]TheRainMonster 4 points 7 hours ago
Scotch tastes like peanut butter to you, too?
permalink
[ ]Soxbee 5 points 7 hours ago
It's amazing how one person can really make a difference! I'm so glad you found

her again!
My heart goes out to all of the veterans. I want to hug you all and offer any su
pport I can for what you've been through.
permalink
[ ]jschlik 3 points 6 hours ago*
Glad you found her. Thanks for the humbling and inspiring post.
I dont know if anyone has already mentioned this but Vital Warrior (vitalwarrior
.org) could be a great resource for those suffering from mental illness. I reall
y like what they are doing to help Vets.
permalink
[ ]_Rootshell_ 13 points 11 hours ago
Peanut butter scotch, meet bloody twat rag. A match made in heaven.
permalink
[ ]Upam 8 points 11 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection, if this gets enough upvotes and stays on the m
ain page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story. Best of luck to
the op
permalink
[ ]aazav 4 points 9 hours ago
Be good man, be good.
permalink
[ ]cannedbread1 3 points 2 hours ago
I am so glad that there was a lifeline out there for you at the perfect time. I
am so very sad for negative comments you are getting. Some people truly are arse
hats.
permalink
[ ]TabulaRasaNot [score hidden] 33 minutes ago
You folks with the negative comments to which OP refers, the ones pushing him ba
ck into himself, shame on you. You make me wish karma was real.
permalink
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 8 points 13 hours ago
Upboats
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[ ]saralt 5 points 11 hours ago
And many more boats.
permalinkparent
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 3 points 7 hours ago
best part is they found each other :)
permalinkparent
[ ]theclassywino 4 points 7 hours ago
You're a hero, best of luck to you. Thank you for serving.
permalink
[ ]ArcheryHunter4Life 4 points 5 hours ago
I just wanted to say thank you for stepping up and posting this, it is so touchi
ng. It is incredibly brave of you and I'm sorry for all that you've been through
and for all of the rude people on this site. I will probably never experience w
hat you have been through. I hope you find yourself healed and happy in the futu
re. Most especially, thank you for your service.
permalink
[ ]Code_NY [score hidden] 1 hour ago
I'm sorry you've had to read through negative responses to this post. It's the d
ownside of open forum on the Internet. Just let them wash over you and concentra
te on the good ones, which are plentiful.
I hope things get better for you soon and I'm glad you've managed to reconnect w
ith her :)
permalink
[ ]CrackpotPatriot [score hidden] 34 minutes ago
Takes a lot of courage to reach out a thank you on the interwebz -especially red
dit. Well done. Thank yous are just too rare in this world.
permalink

[ ]NejKidd 6 points 12 hours ago


Can't wait to see the response on /r/bestof
permalink
[ ]Honkbag 10 points 11 hours ago
Not to be "that guy" in an otherwise supportive thread, but breathing/mindfulnes
s meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therapies for panic attack
s. That's science. that's why the counselors likely repeated it.
Im sorry you didnt feel heard, OP, and the psychological empathy With someone pe
rceived/identified as previously traumatized now wise and mentoring seems helpfu
l to you. Also, the act of smoking mimics controlled breathing which contrasts w
ith either the feeling of suffocation or hyperventilation in panic. The peer sim
ply stated things in a different way that resonated based on shared experience.
That also is important...oftentimes people in therapy perceive that therapists "
don't understand" what they've been through, and therefore arent able to help th
em because they havent been through "the same thing". Fact is, even two people i
n the same fight wont experience the situation exactly the same. But that's not
the point. The point is that In addition to wanting to feel understood, OP, you
needed to know you're not alone, and you needed to see someone actively coping a
nd recovering.
Do what works for you OP...but try not to throw the baby out with the bath water
. You may have valid reasons for anger at the VA (and what psychological role th
ey play in the trauma experience) but those techniques are indeed helpful with c
ontinued practice. Maybe it just needed to be explained differently or in more d
epth (other than "just breathe"...which may come across as dismissive). use all
the resources (however limited) you have at your disposal and let your therapst
know what makes you mad.
Good luck.
permalink
[ ]waitwuh 16 points 9 hours ago
breathing/mindfulness meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therap
ies for panic attacks
Perhaps the little trinket or "reminder" is more helpful to mindfulness than jus
t telling somebody to breath.
permalinkparent
[ ]notteoscura 9 points 9 hours ago
I think the clutch is that she could meet him on his level of breathing alone no
t being enough. Some people can breathe their way out of a panic attack. Others
can't. But yes, science does show breathing to be beneficial.
permalinkparent
[ ]3jt 10 points 6 hours ago
Mindful breathing is a grounding technique. However, therapists usually don't te
ll you that, and if they do they don't emphasize the "why". They just say to bre
athe. If you're hyperventilating, and someone says "breathe", that's fucking stu
pid. What is helpful is to focus on something other than the fact that you're ha
ving a panic attack. Ritual activities like cigarette smoking are helpful. So is
mindful breathing. It's the mindful part that helps.
permalinkparent
[ ]PurpleMentat [score hidden] 1 hour ago
So much this. Breathing without grounding is pointless. Grounding is the point o
f slow, deep, fully exhaled breathing.
permalinkparent
[ ]Launchfit 3 points 8 hours ago
You may not even see this comment, but I highly recommend you try using medical
marijuana to help treat your PTSD. I'm not here trying to persuade you to try a
drug you may not have any knowledge of, but in my experience, it has had a treme
ndous benefit to veterans with PTSD. My brother served in Iraq for 3 years and r
eturned home with severe PTSD. After countless weeks of taking drugs that had no
real benefit whatsoever, he tried medical marijuana. Ever since he indulged in
weed, his condition has improved substantially and his PTSD symptoms seem to les
sen every day. Again, weed isn't for everyone and I'm not sitting here telling y

ou it's a magical drug that will completely cure you. I'm simply suggesting some
thing that could be of great use to you and potentially benefit you. Best of luc
k, and thank you for serving our country.
permalink
[ ]persnipboobiees 3 points 8 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection.. if this gets enough upvotes + stays on the ma
in page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story: best of luck to
the op.
permalink
[ ]LaughingJackass 2 points 5 hours ago
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Wanted to say just this.
permalink
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ]LadyLavaLamp -4 points 10 hours ago
bloody_twat_rag and peanut_butter_scotch forever! I SHIP IT
permalink
[+] (13 children)
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 50 minutes ago
I am a vet as well and im going through similar issues but one of your comments
is a little out of line.
" She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good chance she had been raped
."
Thats B/S, sorry to be the negative one in the party.
Thats like saying "Every wife of a soldier that stayed near base cheated on thei
r husband while they were deployed because all women are scandalous."
Obviously not true,
Just because its the army doesn't make them rapist and baby killers.
Please understand im not harassing you. Thats the kind of blanket statement that
could set others off, like me and my response....
permalink
[ ]Commando_Girl [score hidden] 36 minutes ago
Ummmm. There's a big difference between "good chance" and "every".
You have issues if you really don't see the difference between the two.
permalinkparent
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 31 minutes ago
Right but my point is both statements are false.
permalinkparent
[ ] 9 hours ago
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ] 7 hours ago
[+] (7 children)
[+] (15 children)
[ ] 2 hours ago
[ ]heatheranne[M] [score hidden] 1 hour ago
Be nice or go away.
permalink
[+] (2 children)
[+]Lonsdaleite comment score below threshold (1 child)
[+] (1 child)
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (6 children)
[+] (10 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+]nickbernstein comment score below threshold (2 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+] (2 children)
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Looking for a woman who helped me very much at the VA. Please read./r/all (self.
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submitted 14 hours ago * by peanut_butter_scotch
I am a male, and a combat veteran. I was doing well mentally for a while, under
the care of doctors and taking medication for PTSD and depression. One day, I we
nt to the VA to see my doctor and pick up meds. I was not doing well, a divorce
and financial problems had triggered my PTSD. And the VA was very crowded that d
ay. I was just trying to get meds at the pharmacy so I could go hone, but it was
so packed full of people and everyone was so rude and loud that I was having a
full on panic attack. I sat against a wall, shaking and in tears. Then, she stoo

d next to me.
She asked me when I got back. Fellow veterans always can tell when someone is fr
esh from the combat zone, and I know I appeared that way. I told her I had been
back for a few years but I was not doing well. And I just broke down. She listen
ed as I vented about the clusterfuck of rude people, and how I could not calm do
wn. I said, "I know, I am just supposed to fucking breathe, right?" That is what
the counselors at the VA always said. Just breathe, it will be okay.
"No." She said. "That is fucking pointless. Breathing will not help you right no
w. You are having a present reaction to a problem from the past. Right now, you
need to ground yourself and get out of the fear loop so you can calm down and be
gin to relax."
I asked, how do I do that? She told me about how everyone has something differen
t to ground them. Something comforting, something that triggers endorphins and h
appy memories. She said, she has a bottle of clove extract in her pocket, the sm
ell reminds her of her grandmother.
I began thinking of what I could use. She asked me if I wanted to go have a smok
e with her outside, and I did, so we went to the smoking gazebo. I asked her whe
re she learned these things that she was telling me about, no one ever understoo
d and gave me tips that helped.
Then she told me about reddit. And about a few subs that are primarily for women
, to discuss anything, and a lot of women talked about these coping skills to co
pe after rape and domestic violence. I felt sad suddenly, and thought of the rap
e problem in the military. She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good
chance she had been raped. As she spoke, I thought of how bad she had it. Not on
ly did she have PTSD like me and so many other men do, but she had PTSD from get
ting raped by the very men that were supposed to have her back.
She told me about the online community that helps her more than the stupid group
therapy we all had to go to. So I have lurked on reddit for a while. But I want
ed to reach out and thank her, but no idea what her username is. I know she freq
uents subs like this that are aimed at women, so I was hoping that maybe she wou
ld see this and would know how much it meant to me that she helped me. If anyone
here knows of a female veteran that frequents here, let me know.
Mysterious woman from the VA, thank you so much. You helped me find a path to he
aling. And I hope you find this.
Edit: I made this post then took a nap. I checked reddit on my phone and noticed
the very overwhelming response. Thank you, to everyone, for your support. And I
think I may have found her! My apologies for not respondingnto most of you, som
etimes I find even interacting with strangers online can be very anxiety inducin
g so I tend to steer clear, which is why I took so long to even make an account
on here. But I appreciate the kindness; I was not expecting to get this kind of
response. Thank you.
And final edit: well, found her. And, that is all. Being able to talk with her a
gain is great, and the positive response is nice, but the negative shit and the
insults being thrown and both her and I is very sad. I do not know why people mu
st hurt others when they are getting kind attention from others but I am told th
at is the way of Reddit. No, we will not be dating, she has a boyfriend which I
knew because he was there when I first met her. Tomorrow we are meeting for lunc
h, maybe she will post pics of it. I thought this would be fun and exciting but
with the negativity I am dreading even coming on reddit again. So, if she wants
to post pics tomorrow that will be up to her.
323 commentsshare
all 323 comments
sorted by: best
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1270 points 12 hours ago*
So, I passed this post by with an upvote and moved on. I was watching TV and it
clicked.
Was this at the VA in Loma Linda, CA?
And I appreciate the gold, guys, but please do not gild me anymore. I get the se
ntiment, but please, give it to someone else. I have no use for it.
permalink

[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 518 points 11 hours ago


Yes! The VA in Loma Linda! Sorry I took so long to respond, I made this post, th
en took my meds and ended up passing out. Is this you?
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 141 points 11 hours ago
I hope so, this is one of the best things I've read in a while.
permalinkparent
[ ]joethomma 71 points 7 hours ago
It was all made possible by /u/bloody_twat_rag
permalinkparent
[ ]AcknowledgeTheLlama 17 points 6 hours ago
And her grandmothers cloves
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 117 points 11 hours ago
Oh. I am still new to this, I have only been lurking on reddit for a few weeks,
maybe. I did not know that.
permalink
[ ]tryingtomakeit9 74 points 11 hours ago
So...is it her?
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 210 points 10 hours ago
Yes it is her!
permalinkparent
[ ]bhamv 38 points 10 hours ago
Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]allygraceless 23 points 10 hours ago
This makes me so happy :)
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 22 points 8 hours ago
I love /u/bloody_twat_rag. She always has words of wisdom.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 10 points 7 hours ago
Is she well known on this site?
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 18 points 7 hours ago
I have no idea, but I find her name very memorable.
permalinkparent
[ ]A_Cylon_Raider 9 points 7 hours ago
Probably not, it's just a common thing people joke about here when really nice o
r helpful people have surprising or strange usernames.
permalinkparent
[ ]aazav 21 points 9 hours ago
Glad you found the woman who helped you.
Feel better and when you can, pass on the same help that she gave you.
Cheers.
permalinkparent
[ ]terriblecowgirl 12 points 10 hours ago
This is beautiful. I'm glad you found her!!! :)
permalinkparent
[ ]littlemissderpy 7 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]digitalyss 7 points 9 hours ago
Holy shit
permalinkparent
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 10 points 10 hours ago
They are apparently PMing right now, so... I think so?
permalinkparent

[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]your_ex_girlfriend- 40 points 11 hours ago
The MUA in me loves this cat eye and the TwoXer in me wants it to be her... even
if it is kind of weird to repost this album here...
permalink
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 40 points 10 hours ago
Tape. That is my secret here on the eye make up. Tape.
permalinkparent
[ ]Mojitana 6 points 8 hours ago
That's a really great tip. Thanks!
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 138 points 11 hours ago
Wow I look like shit in those pics.
permalink
[ ]LabGeeked 156 points 11 hours ago
Shaddap, you are lovely in every way.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 186 points 10 hours ago
Yes, she is as beautiful outside as she is on the inside.
permalinkparent
[ ]ilovegingermen 92 points 9 hours ago
peanut_butter_scotch and bloody_twat_rags - A Love Story
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 118 points 9 hours ago
Perhaps, but I am in a happy relationship with children. This could be the start
of a friendship, though.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 60 points 10 hours ago
Sorry, I honestly didn't think you looked bad and they were from the first post
with your face that I found. I was just trying to help u/peanut_butter_scotch, d
oesn't sound like he knows how to look at a users' profile.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 120 points 10 hours ago
Its OK, the pics are just not flattering because I posted them to MUA for CC. Me
and him are talking on fb messenger right now, I think he is a bit overwhelmed
and shocked by the response he got.
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 51 points 10 hours ago
Okay now that is just fantastic. Cheers to you for being the good person you nee
ded to be at the time you needed to be it. It sounds like you selflessly helped
a fellow human when it really mattered.
permalinkparent
[ ]HaloNinjee 12 points 9 hours ago
I <3 you.
I know of the typical subs like this but if you have some suggestions for more I
'm looking to show my wife around the friendlier side of reddit.
permalinkparent
[ ]itsme_eloise 16 points 9 hours ago
Hey there - what does your wife like? TwoX is good, /r/TrollXChromosomes is amaz
ing as is their brother sub /r/TrollYChromosome. I personally also like some sub
reddits aimed at improving my appearance that have a bit more of a feminine comm
unity like /r/MakeupAddiction, /r/SkincareAddiction and /r/HaircareScience. Depe
nding on what she likes, there's probably a subreddit for it!
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]cviwood 10 points 8 hours ago
I like the SFWPornNetwork. Also it is not porn, they are sub reddits with pretty
pretty pictures.
/r/AbandonedPorn has images like this old stairway.

Check the right columnfor related subreddits.


permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 5 points 9 hours ago
Twox, and if you look in the sidebar they have links for related subs. That is h
ow I navigate around.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 17 points 10 hours ago
So it is you? Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]marshmallowmermaid 7 points 9 hours ago
:) I'm glad you got to connect.
permalinkparent
[ ]KitsBeach 4 points 5 hours ago
I just want to say that I recognize your name from other lady-oriented subs and
I thought you always seemed like a swell gal. This post cements that!
permalinkparent
[ ]diestate_enter 3 points 8 hours ago
Ask him how he came up with his username.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 32 points 7 hours ago
Are you talking about me? This is the name my kid gave to my dog. I think it is
the name of a dog on a kid show. I'm not a creative person, and the name always
reminds me of my daughter and makes me smile.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]aazav 14 points 9 hours ago
Ahhh. You look fine.
Glad you took the time to help peanut_butter_scotch out.
You did good.
permalinkparent
[ ]6F6A9O9 16 points 9 hours ago
I think you're real pretty on the inside and on the outside. What we call "all t
he way pretty". You're all the way pretty.
permalinkparent
[ ]GreenlyRose 7 points 7 hours ago
Don't be silly, you look lovely in those pics! :-)
permalinkparent
[ ]Pandibabi 18 points 10 hours ago
Wow u r beautiful .. from another heterosexual female btw dont want to sound cre
epy ok
permalinkparent
[ ]screaming-trees 14 points 10 hours ago
wow i love the great attidfue in this subreddit 10/10
permalinkparent
[ ]darkshy 6 points 8 hours ago
I mean, it could be worse. You look fine. You could actually look like a bloody
twat rag though. That would be terrible.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
In my defense I am wearing a lot of make up in those well mostly eye make up, th
ey were posted to makeupaddiction
permalinkparent
[ ]PushitClaw -2 points 6 hours ago
Just breathe...
permalinkparent
[ ]houseofbacon 12 points 11 hours ago
We must know if its a match. The suspense is thicker than my backup jar of peanu
t butter.
permalinkparent

[ ]Nozphexezora 10 points 11 hours ago


WooOOOooo. Lucky you! I've had a similar situation once, but about drug addictio
n. She never came back.
permalinkparent
[ ]BloodGuts_AngelCake 10 points 9 hours ago
I don't know why but this brought a tear to my eye. It's nice to see there are k
ind people in this world.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ask_Me_What_Love_Is 6 points 6 hours ago
Hey pbs. I'm not her nor a veteran but I've had my fair share of woes and work i
n the loma Linda area (redlands) and if you ever need someone to catch a smoke o
r talk with, grab a beer or lunch with I am here. Just pm me and let me know.
permalinkparent
[ ]kaleybrennan 4 points 8 hours ago
hey idk if you'll see this but you should do a full tutorial of how you did that
makeup. and show what kind you use <3
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 13 points 7 hours ago
I think this was directed at the wrong person.
permalinkparent
[ ]Call_me_Kelly [score hidden] 1 hour ago
If there is a vet center near you I highly recommend checking them out.
http://www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
They specialize in ptsd and reintigration. When the VA became impossible for me
to go to because the noise, the people, and many bad experiences caused me to ha
ve panic attacks any time I entered I began going to the vet center for ptsd hel
p instead.
The atmosphere at my local vet center was awesome. The counselor I saw also help
ed me by creating scripts of what I needed to say to my pdoc and would message h
er on my behalf occasionally.
Also I began teleconference appointments with my va pdoc from a local outpatient
VA clinic. I didn't have the stress of going back into the VA and it allowed me
to tweak and adjust my meds when needed.
If you have nightmares, talk to a pdoc about prazosin. It helps reduce the whole
waking up flooded with adrenalin from nightmares thing. http://www.webmd.com/ato-z-guides/prazosin-for-ptsd
Also, the va prescribed me Xanax for anxiety for two years. If it's prescribed l
ong term for you talk to your doc about longterm side effects. I became full blo
wn agorophobic on it and it took away a year of my life. Imagine my anger when I
learner the va was supposed to have moved away from prescribing it long term du
e to terrible side effects years BEFORE they prescribed it to me.
/r/veterans is a pretty cool subreddit if you've never been.
I so glad someone was able to give you a stepping stone towards healing. I keep
pictures of my kids in my wallet to help ground me during panic attacks. I also
highly recommend changing the immediate surroundings. Leave the room or building
when one starts and it can sometimes help reduce the damage.
Kelly
permalinkparent
[ ]lawdudette -2 points 6 hours ago
/r/bestof!!!!!!
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 12 points 6 hours ago
I hope not I can not handle the harassment I'm not logging in again this is it I
am done
permalinkparent
[ ]PM_ME_TITS_MLADY 12 points 4 hours ago
Sigh, the internet is for everyone. But that's precisely the reason why sometime
s it's not for everyone.
Reddit is one of those places.
I wish you all the best, focus on the positive, always. It'll help at times, I p

romise.
permalinkparent
[ ]CochinBrahmaLover 2 points 3 hours ago
You can delete your account.
Go to preferences and there's an option to delete.
permalinkparent
[+] (1 child)
[ ]Notasurgeon 30 points 11 hours ago
Hey, I was working there today. What a coincidence.
permalinkparent
[ ]jonnyk354 -4 points 6 hours ago
Can you confirm that this event occurred?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Read the post. Did not say it happened today. It happened at the beginning of th
e month.
permalinkparent
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (4 children)
[ ]LoCHiF 22 points 10 hours ago
Gold is largely a donation to reddit. No-one really uses it.
permalinkparent
[ ]DarlinUntitled18 7 points 5 hours ago
I like to think of it somewhat symbolically, as in "Someone made a donation to R
eddit in your name!" sort of like, this comment, this person, or this content is
what I want to see on Reddit. People guild her because she is the kind of perso
n they want their user base to be, and they're proud to use the same website as
her.
permalinkparent
[ ]LoCHiF 3 points 2 hours ago
Agreed. It's a combination of a super emphatic upvote and the donation to reddit
as a sort of "yay reddit!" gesture.
permalinkparent
[ ]DiffidentDissident 9 points 10 hours ago
Hey, thanks for looking out for OP. I think that makes you pretty great.
permalinkparent
[ ]Drachte 17 points 11 hours ago
Op pls
permalinkparent
[ ]rightioushippie 7 points 8 hours ago
so what were the subreddits that helped you find coping mechanisms?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 11 points 8 hours ago
Twox, actually. I had made a post a while ago about being trigger by a video I s
aw of animal abuse that triggered flashbacks from sexual abuse in my childhood a
nd a lot of people gave me grounding tips.
permalinkparent
[ ]King_Penguin_IV [score hidden] 49 minutes ago
What grounding tips helped you the most?
permalinkparent
[ ]wibblywobblychilango 5 points 10 hours ago
Holy shit, things like this are why I love reddit so much! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]monkeiboi 8 points 10 hours ago
ignore her! Everyone gild her!
permalinkparent
[ ]MultiversEngineer 3 points 2 hours ago
Air Force vet here. I have PTSD with panic disorder.
This post is amazing to me. I can appreciate anyone who helps their fellow vets.
I am still in the process of gaining control over my own panic problems. Any ad
vice would be greatly appreciated.

PS: I am currently in school and was also diagnosed with ADD recently. The last
two years have just been a wreck.
permalinkparent
[ ]Defeat 3 points 4 hours ago
Hey there. If it makes you feel better: reddit runs very few ads. Criminally few
. This site was hemorrhaging money, and it probably still is. A few years ago (h
onestly I can't remember reddit time just sort of blurs together for me) reddit
was plagued by serve issues. Nothing would work or load. Then some genius invent
ed reddit gold. Or maybe it was mold first. Either way reddit was saved. Gold is
a donation more to the site we all mooch off of, and is definitely not a reward
for you being amazing. Also panic attacks fucking suck so thank you for helping
that guy out .
permalinkparent
[ ]MrFeles [score hidden] 58 minutes ago
Goddamnit. Read story, imagine some sort of fancy saint. Man calls out to the cr
owd, will she reveal herself?
Blood twat rag emerges.
What a strange mixture of emotions.
Also slightly relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2CWsqGFgkA
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey -2 points 7 hours ago
Weird, I guess you live in Riverside? What are the odds you would live in the sa
me county as myself.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Well, seeing that the Loma Linda VA is used by both Riverside and San Bernardino
Counties, and considering how vast both of those counties are, plus people from
other counties who use that VA because they do not want to go to the others in
LA Jolla or Long Beach due to distance or whatever reasons, it is not so unlikel
y.
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey 4 points 6 hours ago
Well, even though I'm technically a veteran now, I've never had a reason to visi
t the VA and fortunately do not have any problems with PTSD or anything of that
nature. (Depression, but nothing related to my time in).
Plus, I just moved here, so I thought that was interesting.
Either way, best of luck to you. I'm sorry your time in had some truly shitty mo
ments, for lack of a better phrase. I'm sure you're aware, but most of us are ag
ainst that shit. At least, I hope.
permalinkparent
[+]apologies-in-advance comment score below threshold (0 children)
[ ]Walkingonadream7 -1 points 3 hours ago
You can use it to buy some wax for your cross
permalinkparent
[+] (6 children)
[ ]RediscoveredIllusion 53 points 12 hours ago
I have PTSD as well, from abuse situations like so many others here. I am so gla
d someone came along to help you cope. I had forgotten about grounding myself th
is way and reading your post for her... Well, whomever she is, if she finds this
, thank you from me as well.
permalink
[ ]Ivyleaguehandjob 185 points 13 hours ago
My father is a Korean War vet. We sat watching TV and the (new) Wounded Warrior
Project donation commercial comes on and my dad gets very angry. These commercia
ls are on par if not emotionally worse than the starving children and beaten dog
commercials.
We have done something very wrong to our veterans. There should be no need for c
harities like this. NO charities targeting veterans in need of food, clothing, s
helter, education, job training and more.
WWP Purpose:

To raise awareness and enlist the public's aid for the needs of injured service
members.
My father says "NO, that's our governments job, our employer!"
permalink
[ ]athingz 39 points 11 hours ago*
job training and more.
As an Iraq veteran that can't even seem to get a job interview at Walmart, I'm s
tarting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm not sure I have PTSD from my service, but about 8 years later when I finally
went in to a sliding scale clinic for depression symptoms and inability to conc
entrate/study (failing school), they called it "survivor's guilt". I wish it was
my truck that got hit. I volunteered for every convoy after that. Never heard o
f survivor's guilt until I was out for 8 years.
Never used the VA before. Not even sure where to start or where they're located.
I just learned a couple months ago you don't have to be a 20 year vet or have a
disability % to qualify, apparently. All third-hand knowledge. I thought you co
uld only use them for stuff that happened while in, and there's no proof of anyt
hing health related on military record. I've seen my folder right before ETS.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 39 points 10 hours ago
You can use the VA for medical care, even if you do not have a disability claim.
You just need to have served 180 days active service. Go to a local VA with you
r 214 and fill out some paperwork, you can usually be seen right away.
permalinkparent
[ ]panthera213 8 points 9 hours ago
Does your VA offer the chance to look at having service animals? My boyfriend is
in the CF and some of the guys here have gotten service animals to help them wi
th their PTSD. I know that it's been a comfort to them, or at least maybe anothe
r avenue to explore to help you out. Hope you are feeling better.
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[ ]IT_is_not_all_I_am 10 points 8 hours ago
Yeah, I know a guy that breeds and trains dogs for Rebuilding Warriors. I know h
e's trained them for folks with PTSD, but no idea how that organization selects
recipients. Might be worth looking into.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
Or, find someone that gets rescue dogs and trains them instead of dogs that were
bred just for.
permalinkparent
[ ]asianfromamerica 1 point 6 hours ago
SO ARE YOU THE WOMAN THAT HELPED THIS MAN? You are amazing I hope you realize th
at.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1 point 5 hours ago
No. I'm not. I'm average at best.
permalinkparent
[ ]darkangl187 7 points 8 hours ago
the VA is for those who served and discharged honorably, service connection or n
ot. please check them out it sounds like you need to consider service connection
for your survivors guilt.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 7 points 8 hours ago
Not just an honorable discharge. As long as you did not receive a dishonorable.
General, GUH, etc are accepted.
permalinkparent
[ ]Yeynna 4 points 6 hours ago
I'm starting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's the same for the unemployed, disable
d, and homeless who aren't veterans in the US (or anywhere else, I'm not America
n), I don't know what to say about everything else you faced because I can't ima

gine what living through it is like, but I want to say that no matter how much i
t seems like if you were suffering in the "right" way people would care more it'
s not true, it seems that way for everyone, but we're not alone in the facing th
is, and it's not your fault people are dismissing and scornful.
permalinkparent
[ ]Lots42 3 points 5 hours ago
www.211.org has lots of resourves for mental, physical and related help. Easy to
find lots and lots of stuff.
permalinkparent
[ ]preflop 3 points 2 hours ago
Hours late, but if you're having trouble getting things arranged, put in a call
to your local congressional office. You'll probably be assigned to a constituent
casework person and they'll put you in touch with who you need to talk to and w
here you need to go.
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[ ]mmm_toasty 19 points 12 hours ago
Hopefully at some point in the future the laws and regulations regarding providi
ng aid of all kinds to veterans in need will be fixed. For now though, as ways o
f acquiring the funding that the government fails to provide, I think that they
serve an important purpose.
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[ ]pmmesomeavocado 16 points 12 hours ago
The problem is that to do that, you need to raise taxes. And if you do that, you
're a freedom hating commie.
permalinkparent
[ ]bouncer4819 19 points 11 hours ago
Or we could just cut from our extremely overfunded defense budget, and reallocat
e those funds to actually help our vets
permalinkparent
[ ]vuhleeitee 0 points 4 hours ago
Yes. We should fire a whole bunch of people that are a few years away from retir
ement anyway. That makes complete sense.
You do realize that cutting the defense budget just means that it will create mo
re veterans who are at a loss for a stable source of income.
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[ ]tiehunter 3 points 4 hours ago
Or... Instead of buying jets that the military neither needs nor wants, we could
spend that money on veterans.
permalinkparent
[ ]athennna 8 points 11 hours ago
Or you need to better budget the tax revenue you already have.
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[ ]QuelqueChoseRose 0 points 2 hours ago
My understanding is that the V.A.'s fairly well-funded, nowadays. Relative to th
e rest of the federal government, at least. (Its funding's increased in years wh
en even Defense's was cut.) The problem's entirely administrative. It's a bureau
cratic nightmare, and no one's been able to solve it.
I think if a presidential candidate ran on a platform of simply making the feder
al government more efficient, they'd win easily. All the bickering about taxes a
nd spending, and we're still incredibly bad at doing what we want with the money
we tax and spend.
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[ ]hyene 9 points 11 hours ago
no, we don't need to raise taxes. we need to move from mathematically-illogical
capitalism to a scientifically-managed resource-based economy.
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[ ]Ruste 1 point 10 hours ago
Honestly curious, why should the government ever provide a service that is alrea
dy provided for by charities. Why force everyone to pay for something that peopl
e already give willingly to assuming that they provide enough. (I know they don'

t but according to OP there should be NO need for these charities as if it shoul


d be taken care of by the government regardless.)
permalinkparent
[ ]ggqq 7 points 10 hours ago
because there is a fine line we need to skate as a society between socialism and
capitalism to keep the employable people happy. If the government paid for ever
ything, we'd have incredibly high tax. This discourages people from working too
hard with tax brackets so you end up with nobody earning that much and an even h
igher tax because less people earn lots. What we need to do is convince rich peo
ple to be charitable (or rather, just tell rich people to give their money away
for free. I just solved the economic crisis. boom. you're welcome)
permalinkparent
[ ]Otto_Lidenbrock 6 points 9 hours ago
Except that tax brackets have never stopped anyone from making more money. Compl
ain about it, sure... But they still take the raise. It's a patently false argum
ent.
permalinkparent
[ ]undsowbe 10 points 8 hours ago
Your father as a Korean War Veteran would not qualify for the WWP program. Only
post 9/11 Vets qualify. Even at the VA, there are programs that my Vietnam-era h
usband does not qualify for (acupuncture being the most recent). The docs there
want the prestige and kudos that comes from treating recent Vets. It's the same
with the WWP. They know they can rake in the bucks if they play on public sentim
ent for post 9/11 Vets.
Never before have Veterans been excluded from programs based on the era they ser
ved in, until now.
TLDR: Fuck the WWP
permalinkparent
[ ]DrTypo 8 points 7 hours ago
WWP is also something that is wrong. Google wounded warrior project scam, and lo
ok at how much of the money that they collect actually goes to vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 160 points 14 hours ago
That is very sweet and I hope she sees this too! Best of luck on your journey an
d I am so sorry that as a nation we do so little for you and the other veterans.
Our system (what parts are not a clusterfuck) is frustrating at best and I am g
lad you find the courage every day to get up and navigate the system and your sy
mptoms, rather than letting the circumstances win. Hope she sees this! :)
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[ ]mantiskiller 18 points 13 hours ago
I have very little knowledge of what the opportunities available for veterans bu
t always hear that it is inadequate. What improvements do you think the governme
nt could make?
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 29 points 12 hours ago
Well, (I'm assuming you are in the US) the system is just not streamlined and po
orly funded. You go for mental health help, there is no extra or quick he for pe
ople coming in while in crisis. Most get the same wait time as others. You go, y
ou sign up, and then you wait. Some people 6-8 weeks to be seen for someone who
sees you for 10 minutes to determine the meds you need and whether or not therap
y will help. Never mind med changes, trying to get refills. And you can forget h
ousing if you are homeless. Most VA houses/shelters are 30-50 beds and have wait
ing lists a mile long. We have homeless populations of mentally ill veterans who
, with the right meds and a few months of meals and a roof over their head would
be able to work some and get back on their feet. It's just a very broken, poorl
y funded, slow moving system and we as a country should be ashamed of ourselves.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster -3 points 12 hours ago
And you can forget housing if you are homeless.
That's why there is a pension program to give money to those that need it.

permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 16 points 12 hours ago
Yeah, but in some cases the money isn't enough or the application process is too
long and they are homeless before they get the money. Most homeless vets get mo
ney, its just not enough to live on and they aren't able to hold a job because t
hey can't get enough services to help their PTSD and resulting addictions. I was
a case worker for a veterans program for a year. I only lasted a year. It was t
he worst. The suicide rates, filling out paper work and seeing them be desperate
and only being able to say, 'well, I submitted it. we just have to wait.', not
having housing for them so at 5pm after hours of calling they were back out to w
ander another night on the streets. Ugh, I felt awful.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 21 points 12 hours ago
The pension program is only for vets with wartime service. Peacetime vets don't
have this fallback. Additionally, pension is only for those determined disabled.
There are some newer programs to combat homelessness for vets, but they depend
on location.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster 2 points 11 hours ago*
I'm just saying there is something, many people make it sound like there is no e
ffort at all. Homeless cases are a high priority. You sound like a VSR or VSO?
oh, ok, downvote me for thinking somebody sounds incredibly knowledgeable.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 12 points 11 hours ago
No. I'm a Legal Aid attorney who specializes in vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster 5 points 11 hours ago
Awesome. Nice to meet you.
permalinkparent
[ ]Sulde 37 points 12 hours ago
upvote for visibility.
and dude: when you are going through hell, keep on going. Never never never give
up.
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[ ]endergrrl 36 points 12 hours ago
Female army vet here, though not the one you're looking for. Which VAMC were you
at? I'm glad someone helped you through that and that you found a safe and help
ful space here.
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[ ]crouchtouchpause 32 points 12 hours ago
This is a beautiful post. All I can offer is that it does get better, and that a
nyone capable of writing such an emotionally honest post has already crossed mor
e bridges that most manage in a lifetime.
I hope she reads what you've written, but even if she doesn't you should know th
at many people have understood the sentiment and been moved by it.
permalink
[ ]mablesyrup 9 points 11 hours ago
Posts like this prove why today is the best monday of the year!
permalinkparent
[ ]Tonyman457 12 points 9 hours ago
This post has everything. The tragedy. The cry for help. The rocky montage at th
e VA where everything gets slightly better, but he looses his mentor somewhere.
Then, BAM! they rekindle!
The cherry on top is that her fuckin reddit ID is Bloody Twat Rag. Hits you with
the feels, then brings you back with some good ol' fashioned dark humor.
Most novels aren't this good.
permalinkparent
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
I read this in Stefon's voice :)
permalinkparent

[ ]Edrondol 33 points 6 hours ago


Marine vet here. No PTSD unless you count flashbacks of sitting in a storeroom f
or hours. But I wanted to pop in and say don't sweat the haters. Most of them ar
e just stupid kids trying to be edgy. The rest are assholes because they are ano
nymous and it's how they get their jollies. Just like the military, reddit has g
ood people and reddit has dicks. Unlike the military, you can completely ignore
the dicks here.
Don't know what branch you were in (I didn't read through everything), but I'm g
iving you a big Semper Fi anyway. Stay strong, brother.
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[ ]spookyxskepticism 16 points 11 hours ago
Aaaaand I'm in tears. I'm so glad she was able to help you. Here's an upvote. Ho
pefully with enough of these she'll take notice and see your post! I'm so glad t
hat your experience has helped you on to the path of healing. Thank you so much
for your service <3
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[ ]scarletdrive 3 points 9 hours ago
I needed a good cry today. Bless this post.
permalinkparent
[ ]faeriechyld 16 points 12 hours ago
I hope she gets your message of thanks even if she wants to remain anonymous. An
d I really really hope you start feeling better too. I wish I could do more than
offer internet hugs!
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[ ]schweppesmeoffmyfeet 32 points 13 hours ago
This is why I love Reddit.
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[ ]mightyflynn 14 points 12 hours ago
This is beautiful. I hope you are finding your ground.
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[ ]anniebme 13 points 11 hours ago
Hi friend! I find having a smooth stone in my pocket helps. The stone reminds me
of chilling next to a river. I hope you find your mini-reminder, too!
I have found EMDR therapy rough to go through but helpful to process thoughts an
d memories. It may help you, too. It won't be easy but neither is what you are c
urrently dealing with.
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[ ]BaronessUnderboob 11 points 8 hours ago
I use a piece of hematite sometimes, the weight feels nice in my hands. Though I
don't subscribe to that healing crystals stuff, I just like shiny rocks.
permalinkparent
[ ]anniebme 8 points 8 hours ago
Sounds like a great reminder to just be! Heavy enough to remind, light enough to
carry! Hematite just looks cool, too.
permalinkparent
[ ]DancingHeel 12 points 9 hours ago
I'm not her, but reading this has made me smile. I get down about working at VA
a lot - the bureaucracy and paperwork (and the sexual harassment from older Vets
) are really pushing me out the door. But I like the people I work with, and I k
now they really care about the wellbeing of Veterans. This is a great example of
that. Whether she was an employee or just a fellow Vet receiving services, ther
e are definitely good people in that crazy system.
To anyone else out there struggling with PTSD, other mental health concerns, or
service-related health issues - there is hope. Even when the VA gets horrible pr
ess, even when claims are backlogged - there are good people who want to help an
d are well-equipped to do so. If you haven't sought any help at the VA but you m
ight qualify for services, it's worth a shot. Don't give up. Every VA is, unfort
unately, very different in terms of quality. Shop around if you need to. It real
ly sucks that that's the way it is, because Veterans deserve better care. Govern
ment funding of Veteran services is extremely poor. But I have seen the efforts

of good people help change the system, slowly, from the inside.
permalink
[ ]paulb02 9 points 10 hours ago
This is a great story and I am happy you were able to find one of the good peopl
e at the VA. There is a lot of VA bashing and I understand it is not the best si
tuation for veterans, but some people at the VA do truly care about the Veterans
and their treatment and benefits. While my wife was not a vet herself, she work
s in the Comp and Pension section and deals primarily with the veterans via the
claims process. The Veterans rarely know the person behind the claim but she doe
s go that extra step whenever possible to ensure the claims are not jacked up.
permalink
[ ]TurdFergusonTheThird 10 points 9 hours ago
This post motivated me to join reddit. Long time listener first time poster here
.. Thanks for the energy.
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[ ]TheRealFJ 15 points 6 hours ago
Dude please don't let the ass holes turn you away from Reddit. I get shit all th
e time for the smallest shit here but you need to know that those people are onl
y here to be mean...like the comments on YouTube.
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[ ]Sector_805 23 points 11 hours ago
As a female who has served, I love this and hope she reads this.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
Thank you for your service, ma'am
permalinkparent
[ ]Bm1324 13 points 12 hours ago
Wow, I hope you are able to find her. As someone with PTSD, I find that even a l
ot of well-meaning people don't know what to say or do when I'm triggered or in
a difficult place. They do their best to use methods that they've seen or say th
ings like "It'll be alright," which aren't much help at the moment and too dista
nt for me to connect to. I like that she was real and helped to put you back int
o reality by grounding you in the current place and time. I'll have to remember
this as well :)
permalink
[ ]izzgo 24 points 13 hours ago
Upvoted so maybe she has a better chance to see this.
permalink
[ ]supersayanftw 5 points 12 hours ago
Please update, best of luck to you
permalink
[ ]devoted2mercury 7 points 12 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she sees this; Reddit is awesome.
permalink
[ ]Clayra 7 points 11 hours ago
I know first hand how trying it can be getting treatment from the VA. I sometime
s find that it's easier to go to one of the help desks and ask them to walk you
to wherever you want to go. It won't get you put to the front of the line, but I
've found that things tend to move more smoothly.
Like so much of government work it's just a big good-ole-boys club, and there's
a good chance that anyone working there has to at the very least be friendly wit
h everyone else if they have any hopes of staying.
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[ ]BareKnuckleKitty 7 points 11 hours ago
This is so beautiful. Thank you for your service. I really hope she sees this!
permalink
[ ]petit_cochon 6 points 11 hours ago
Hey buddy, so glad this subreddit has helped you, and I hope it continues to hel
p you as you recover and heal.
permalink

[ ]nomoredolls 6 points 11 hours ago


OP, thank you for your service and sacrifice. Thanks also to the VA mystery woma
n for her service and sacrifice.
permalink
[ ]nerak1138 6 points 11 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she finds this, but even if she doesn't, she surely knows that s
he made a difference that day. Pay it forward, man. And keep your chin up. Lots
of love to you and all veterans.
permalink
[ ]GimmeMuchosMangos 8 points 11 hours ago
Good luck to you.
permalink
[ ]saraleecupcake 7 points 11 hours ago
Best of luck
permalink
[ ]theBIGnaudd 7 points 10 hours ago
Keep your head up brother! Look for a support group. The VA has resources and ca
n help find you a group to join. Stay strong! There are so many people out there
who care and want to help you out with your experiences.
permalink
[ ]rogue780 6 points 10 hours ago
/r/veterans has some good resources as well
permalink
[ ]SuperChubbs 7 points 8 hours ago
This is really special. I served on a submarine for 4 years getting out in 2012
and I had a hard time readjusting. PTSD and depression combined with feeling lik
e I never related to many other veterans because I served in a different environ
ment then most.
I know it isn't easy to help someone going through PTSD or a panic attack but i'
ve had a few people really come through for me when I needed it and I don't know
where i'd be if they hadn't. Now my life is so much brighter. :) Thank you so m
uch for stepping up and helping that guy, people like you are wonderful.
permalink
[ ]somegaychick 2 points 4 hours ago
I cant even begin to imagine what its like. Thank you for your service. <3
permalinkparent
[ ]SuperChubbs 1 point 3 hours ago
Thank you so much, it used to make me uncomfortable hearing that but it's kinda
nice now that i'm doing so much better :) You made my night.
permalinkparent
[ ]kawaii-throwaway 6 points 8 hours ago
This entire post v was beautiful beginning to end.
My ptsd is considered in remission but I still wear patchouli pull to remind me
of my grandmother. I also have a lyric from one of my favorite songs on my wrist
. Seeing the message (be patient) itself keeps me grounded but being reminded of
the song takes me back to awe inspiring memories that snap me right out of an e
pisode.
It's a magical feeling when you finally find coping mechanisms that actually hel
p. Every moment before that feels like a constant waking nightmare, a landmine o
f triggers, but once you find what works, it's as if a weight is lifted from you
.
permalink
[ ]Milagro_chef 21 points 13 hours ago
I have PTSD. Her definition is exact correct. Thank you.
permalink
[ ]I_require_answers 10 points 10 hours ago
It's disappointing, and sadly unsurprising, that none of the professionals you w
orked with at the VA taught you some grounding skills, I mean that's really trau
ma therapy 101. It makes me sad our vets don't get better treatment than that. A
nyway, glad you guys found each other, and thanks for your service.

permalink
[ ]baconchief 5 points 10 hours ago
Thank you for your service Sir! I hope you regain control of your life and can l
ive on happily! Much respect.
permalink
[ ]nocomfychairs 6 points 9 hours ago
Thank you both for your service.
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]Hippiemamklp 5 points 8 hours ago
This made me tear up. I am sending huge cyber hugs to both of you! Sometimes hel
p comes in the most unlikely ways:-) Glad you are both getting help and I hope h
ealing.
permalink
[ ]ilokaners 6 points 7 hours ago
That's great. I wish you the best in healing. Sorry the VA doesn't help as much
as it should. I wish it would change but people like you and your friend are an
inspiration. Thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]squirtsmilk 5 points 7 hours ago
Thank you to our vets.. And to kind and compassionate people .... They make the
world safe for us all.
permalink
[ ]Noculum 7 points 6 hours ago
This warmed my heart. What a lovely story.
permalink
[ ]MonkeyNacho 7 points 6 hours ago
Thank you both for your service. I hope she, and the rest of us here on Reddit,
can help you find a road to inner peace.
permalink
[ ]Lots42 17 points 6 hours ago
You're on a woman-friendly sub-reddit that ended up on /r/all. That's why there'
s some negativity floating to the surface. /r/all is full of jackasses who can't
deal with the fact woman-friendly sub-reddits exist.
Or that women exist.
permalink
[ ]chocobodanger 8 points 7 hours ago
I have PTSD as well from rape. I have been diagnosed but the "system" here has f
ailed me by not getting me treatment needed (saw a counselor, put on depression/
anxiety meds, told I would have therapy and have not seen another counselor sinc
e?) You inadvertently helped me cope just by posting what she had told you.
permalink
[ ]txdahlia 10 points 6 hours ago
Unfortunately social media can bring out the dark side of those to impotent to s
how it in their daily lives because they fear repercussions, so they use an anon
ymous faceless version of themselves and pretend to be a bad ass. You are worthy
of happiness and peace after your great sacrifice. Don't let others put you dow
n.
permalink

[ ]dftexas165 5 points 9 hours ago


Yaaaay! The power of reddit. Glad you found her! I appreciate your service too b
uddy. I really hope you learn how to deal with you're issues brought on by your
experiences at war.
permalink
[ ]lotsofsippycups 4 points 9 hours ago
Aww I'm so glad you found her! :)
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[ ]Ammoholic 3 points 8 hours ago
My dad is a doctor who treats ptsd at that va. Ask to see Dr goldstein. He will
help you for sure!
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[ ]soitgoes182 4 points 8 hours ago
This is fucking beautiful!!
permalink
[ ]liesforliars 4 points 7 hours ago
I'm so happy you found her, man !! The internet can be wonderful..
permalink
[ ]dontdid 5 points 7 hours ago
This is so touching. Thank you both for your service and compassion. I hope you
find relief from what haunts you.
permalink
[ ]TheRainMonster 4 points 7 hours ago
Scotch tastes like peanut butter to you, too?
permalink
[ ]Soxbee 5 points 7 hours ago
It's amazing how one person can really make a difference! I'm so glad you found
her again!
My heart goes out to all of the veterans. I want to hug you all and offer any su
pport I can for what you've been through.
permalink
[ ]jschlik 3 points 6 hours ago*
Glad you found her. Thanks for the humbling and inspiring post.
I dont know if anyone has already mentioned this but Vital Warrior (vitalwarrior
.org) could be a great resource for those suffering from mental illness. I reall
y like what they are doing to help Vets.
permalink
[ ]_Rootshell_ 13 points 11 hours ago
Peanut butter scotch, meet bloody twat rag. A match made in heaven.
permalink
[ ]Upam 8 points 11 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection, if this gets enough upvotes and stays on the m
ain page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story. Best of luck to
the op
permalink
[ ]aazav 4 points 9 hours ago
Be good man, be good.
permalink
[ ]cannedbread1 3 points 2 hours ago
I am so glad that there was a lifeline out there for you at the perfect time. I
am so very sad for negative comments you are getting. Some people truly are arse
hats.
permalink
[ ]TabulaRasaNot [score hidden] 33 minutes ago
You folks with the negative comments to which OP refers, the ones pushing him ba
ck into himself, shame on you. You make me wish karma was real.
permalink
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 8 points 13 hours ago
Upboats
permalink

[ ]saralt 5 points 11 hours ago


And many more boats.
permalinkparent
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 3 points 7 hours ago
best part is they found each other :)
permalinkparent
[ ]theclassywino 4 points 7 hours ago
You're a hero, best of luck to you. Thank you for serving.
permalink
[ ]ArcheryHunter4Life 4 points 5 hours ago
I just wanted to say thank you for stepping up and posting this, it is so touchi
ng. It is incredibly brave of you and I'm sorry for all that you've been through
and for all of the rude people on this site. I will probably never experience w
hat you have been through. I hope you find yourself healed and happy in the futu
re. Most especially, thank you for your service.
permalink
[ ]Code_NY [score hidden] 1 hour ago
I'm sorry you've had to read through negative responses to this post. It's the d
ownside of open forum on the Internet. Just let them wash over you and concentra
te on the good ones, which are plentiful.
I hope things get better for you soon and I'm glad you've managed to reconnect w
ith her :)
permalink
[ ]CrackpotPatriot [score hidden] 34 minutes ago
Takes a lot of courage to reach out a thank you on the interwebz -especially red
dit. Well done. Thank yous are just too rare in this world.
permalink
[ ]NejKidd 6 points 12 hours ago
Can't wait to see the response on /r/bestof
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[ ]Honkbag 10 points 11 hours ago
Not to be "that guy" in an otherwise supportive thread, but breathing/mindfulnes
s meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therapies for panic attack
s. That's science. that's why the counselors likely repeated it.
Im sorry you didnt feel heard, OP, and the psychological empathy With someone pe
rceived/identified as previously traumatized now wise and mentoring seems helpfu
l to you. Also, the act of smoking mimics controlled breathing which contrasts w
ith either the feeling of suffocation or hyperventilation in panic. The peer sim
ply stated things in a different way that resonated based on shared experience.
That also is important...oftentimes people in therapy perceive that therapists "
don't understand" what they've been through, and therefore arent able to help th
em because they havent been through "the same thing". Fact is, even two people i
n the same fight wont experience the situation exactly the same. But that's not
the point. The point is that In addition to wanting to feel understood, OP, you
needed to know you're not alone, and you needed to see someone actively coping a
nd recovering.
Do what works for you OP...but try not to throw the baby out with the bath water
. You may have valid reasons for anger at the VA (and what psychological role th
ey play in the trauma experience) but those techniques are indeed helpful with c
ontinued practice. Maybe it just needed to be explained differently or in more d
epth (other than "just breathe"...which may come across as dismissive). use all
the resources (however limited) you have at your disposal and let your therapst
know what makes you mad.
Good luck.
permalink
[ ]waitwuh 16 points 9 hours ago
breathing/mindfulness meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therap
ies for panic attacks
Perhaps the little trinket or "reminder" is more helpful to mindfulness than jus
t telling somebody to breath.

permalinkparent
[ ]notteoscura 9 points 9 hours ago
I think the clutch is that she could meet him on his level of breathing alone no
t being enough. Some people can breathe their way out of a panic attack. Others
can't. But yes, science does show breathing to be beneficial.
permalinkparent
[ ]3jt 10 points 6 hours ago
Mindful breathing is a grounding technique. However, therapists usually don't te
ll you that, and if they do they don't emphasize the "why". They just say to bre
athe. If you're hyperventilating, and someone says "breathe", that's fucking stu
pid. What is helpful is to focus on something other than the fact that you're ha
ving a panic attack. Ritual activities like cigarette smoking are helpful. So is
mindful breathing. It's the mindful part that helps.
permalinkparent
[ ]PurpleMentat [score hidden] 1 hour ago
So much this. Breathing without grounding is pointless. Grounding is the point o
f slow, deep, fully exhaled breathing.
permalinkparent
[ ]Launchfit 3 points 8 hours ago
You may not even see this comment, but I highly recommend you try using medical
marijuana to help treat your PTSD. I'm not here trying to persuade you to try a
drug you may not have any knowledge of, but in my experience, it has had a treme
ndous benefit to veterans with PTSD. My brother served in Iraq for 3 years and r
eturned home with severe PTSD. After countless weeks of taking drugs that had no
real benefit whatsoever, he tried medical marijuana. Ever since he indulged in
weed, his condition has improved substantially and his PTSD symptoms seem to les
sen every day. Again, weed isn't for everyone and I'm not sitting here telling y
ou it's a magical drug that will completely cure you. I'm simply suggesting some
thing that could be of great use to you and potentially benefit you. Best of luc
k, and thank you for serving our country.
permalink
[ ]persnipboobiees 3 points 8 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection.. if this gets enough upvotes + stays on the ma
in page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story: best of luck to
the op.
permalink
[ ]LaughingJackass 2 points 5 hours ago
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Wanted to say just this.
permalink
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ]LadyLavaLamp -4 points 10 hours ago
bloody_twat_rag and peanut_butter_scotch forever! I SHIP IT
permalink
[+] (13 children)
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 50 minutes ago
I am a vet as well and im going through similar issues but one of your comments
is a little out of line.
" She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good chance she had been raped
."
Thats B/S, sorry to be the negative one in the party.
Thats like saying "Every wife of a soldier that stayed near base cheated on thei
r husband while they were deployed because all women are scandalous."
Obviously not true,
Just because its the army doesn't make them rapist and baby killers.
Please understand im not harassing you. Thats the kind of blanket statement that
could set others off, like me and my response....
permalink
[ ]Commando_Girl [score hidden] 36 minutes ago
Ummmm. There's a big difference between "good chance" and "every".

You have issues if you really don't see the difference between the two.
permalinkparent
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 31 minutes ago
Right but my point is both statements are false.
permalinkparent
[ ] 9 hours ago
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ] 7 hours ago
[+] (7 children)
[+] (15 children)
[ ] 2 hours ago
[ ]heatheranne[M] [score hidden] 1 hour ago
Be nice or go away.
permalink
[+] (2 children)
[+]Lonsdaleite comment score below threshold (1 child)
[+] (1 child)
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (6 children)
[+] (10 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+]nickbernstein comment score below threshold (2 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+] (2 children)
[+] (1 child)
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Looking for a woman who helped me very much at the VA. Please read./r/all (self.
TwoXChromosomes)
submitted 14 hours ago * by peanut_butter_scotch
I am a male, and a combat veteran. I was doing well mentally for a while, under
the care of doctors and taking medication for PTSD and depression. One day, I we
nt to the VA to see my doctor and pick up meds. I was not doing well, a divorce
and financial problems had triggered my PTSD. And the VA was very crowded that d
ay. I was just trying to get meds at the pharmacy so I could go hone, but it was
so packed full of people and everyone was so rude and loud that I was having a
full on panic attack. I sat against a wall, shaking and in tears. Then, she stoo
d next to me.
She asked me when I got back. Fellow veterans always can tell when someone is fr
esh from the combat zone, and I know I appeared that way. I told her I had been
back for a few years but I was not doing well. And I just broke down. She listen
ed as I vented about the clusterfuck of rude people, and how I could not calm do
wn. I said, "I know, I am just supposed to fucking breathe, right?" That is what
the counselors at the VA always said. Just breathe, it will be okay.
"No." She said. "That is fucking pointless. Breathing will not help you right no
w. You are having a present reaction to a problem from the past. Right now, you
need to ground yourself and get out of the fear loop so you can calm down and be
gin to relax."
I asked, how do I do that? She told me about how everyone has something differen
t to ground them. Something comforting, something that triggers endorphins and h
appy memories. She said, she has a bottle of clove extract in her pocket, the sm
ell reminds her of her grandmother.
I began thinking of what I could use. She asked me if I wanted to go have a smok
e with her outside, and I did, so we went to the smoking gazebo. I asked her whe
re she learned these things that she was telling me about, no one ever understoo
d and gave me tips that helped.
Then she told me about reddit. And about a few subs that are primarily for women
, to discuss anything, and a lot of women talked about these coping skills to co
pe after rape and domestic violence. I felt sad suddenly, and thought of the rap
e problem in the military. She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good
chance she had been raped. As she spoke, I thought of how bad she had it. Not on
ly did she have PTSD like me and so many other men do, but she had PTSD from get
ting raped by the very men that were supposed to have her back.
She told me about the online community that helps her more than the stupid group
therapy we all had to go to. So I have lurked on reddit for a while. But I want
ed to reach out and thank her, but no idea what her username is. I know she freq
uents subs like this that are aimed at women, so I was hoping that maybe she wou
ld see this and would know how much it meant to me that she helped me. If anyone
here knows of a female veteran that frequents here, let me know.
Mysterious woman from the VA, thank you so much. You helped me find a path to he

aling. And I hope you find this.


Edit: I made this post then took a nap. I checked reddit on my phone and noticed
the very overwhelming response. Thank you, to everyone, for your support. And I
think I may have found her! My apologies for not respondingnto most of you, som
etimes I find even interacting with strangers online can be very anxiety inducin
g so I tend to steer clear, which is why I took so long to even make an account
on here. But I appreciate the kindness; I was not expecting to get this kind of
response. Thank you.
And final edit: well, found her. And, that is all. Being able to talk with her a
gain is great, and the positive response is nice, but the negative shit and the
insults being thrown and both her and I is very sad. I do not know why people mu
st hurt others when they are getting kind attention from others but I am told th
at is the way of Reddit. No, we will not be dating, she has a boyfriend which I
knew because he was there when I first met her. Tomorrow we are meeting for lunc
h, maybe she will post pics of it. I thought this would be fun and exciting but
with the negativity I am dreading even coming on reddit again. So, if she wants
to post pics tomorrow that will be up to her.
323 commentsshare
all 323 comments
sorted by: best
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1270 points 12 hours ago*
So, I passed this post by with an upvote and moved on. I was watching TV and it
clicked.
Was this at the VA in Loma Linda, CA?
And I appreciate the gold, guys, but please do not gild me anymore. I get the se
ntiment, but please, give it to someone else. I have no use for it.
permalink
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 518 points 11 hours ago
Yes! The VA in Loma Linda! Sorry I took so long to respond, I made this post, th
en took my meds and ended up passing out. Is this you?
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 141 points 11 hours ago
I hope so, this is one of the best things I've read in a while.
permalinkparent
[ ]joethomma 71 points 7 hours ago
It was all made possible by /u/bloody_twat_rag
permalinkparent
[ ]AcknowledgeTheLlama 17 points 6 hours ago
And her grandmothers cloves
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 117 points 11 hours ago
Oh. I am still new to this, I have only been lurking on reddit for a few weeks,
maybe. I did not know that.
permalink
[ ]tryingtomakeit9 74 points 11 hours ago
So...is it her?
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 210 points 10 hours ago
Yes it is her!
permalinkparent
[ ]bhamv 38 points 10 hours ago
Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]allygraceless 23 points 10 hours ago
This makes me so happy :)
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 22 points 8 hours ago
I love /u/bloody_twat_rag. She always has words of wisdom.
permalinkparent

[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 10 points 7 hours ago


Is she well known on this site?
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 18 points 7 hours ago
I have no idea, but I find her name very memorable.
permalinkparent
[ ]A_Cylon_Raider 9 points 7 hours ago
Probably not, it's just a common thing people joke about here when really nice o
r helpful people have surprising or strange usernames.
permalinkparent
[ ]aazav 21 points 9 hours ago
Glad you found the woman who helped you.
Feel better and when you can, pass on the same help that she gave you.
Cheers.
permalinkparent
[ ]terriblecowgirl 12 points 10 hours ago
This is beautiful. I'm glad you found her!!! :)
permalinkparent
[ ]littlemissderpy 7 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]digitalyss 7 points 9 hours ago
Holy shit
permalinkparent
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 10 points 10 hours ago
They are apparently PMing right now, so... I think so?
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]your_ex_girlfriend- 40 points 11 hours ago
The MUA in me loves this cat eye and the TwoXer in me wants it to be her... even
if it is kind of weird to repost this album here...
permalink
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 40 points 10 hours ago
Tape. That is my secret here on the eye make up. Tape.
permalinkparent
[ ]Mojitana 6 points 8 hours ago
That's a really great tip. Thanks!
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 138 points 11 hours ago
Wow I look like shit in those pics.
permalink
[ ]LabGeeked 156 points 11 hours ago
Shaddap, you are lovely in every way.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 186 points 10 hours ago
Yes, she is as beautiful outside as she is on the inside.
permalinkparent
[ ]ilovegingermen 92 points 9 hours ago
peanut_butter_scotch and bloody_twat_rags - A Love Story
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 118 points 9 hours ago
Perhaps, but I am in a happy relationship with children. This could be the start
of a friendship, though.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 60 points 10 hours ago
Sorry, I honestly didn't think you looked bad and they were from the first post
with your face that I found. I was just trying to help u/peanut_butter_scotch, d
oesn't sound like he knows how to look at a users' profile.
permalinkparent

[ ]bloody_twat_rag 120 points 10 hours ago


Its OK, the pics are just not flattering because I posted them to MUA for CC. Me
and him are talking on fb messenger right now, I think he is a bit overwhelmed
and shocked by the response he got.
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 51 points 10 hours ago
Okay now that is just fantastic. Cheers to you for being the good person you nee
ded to be at the time you needed to be it. It sounds like you selflessly helped
a fellow human when it really mattered.
permalinkparent
[ ]HaloNinjee 12 points 9 hours ago
I <3 you.
I know of the typical subs like this but if you have some suggestions for more I
'm looking to show my wife around the friendlier side of reddit.
permalinkparent
[ ]itsme_eloise 16 points 9 hours ago
Hey there - what does your wife like? TwoX is good, /r/TrollXChromosomes is amaz
ing as is their brother sub /r/TrollYChromosome. I personally also like some sub
reddits aimed at improving my appearance that have a bit more of a feminine comm
unity like /r/MakeupAddiction, /r/SkincareAddiction and /r/HaircareScience. Depe
nding on what she likes, there's probably a subreddit for it!
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]cviwood 10 points 8 hours ago
I like the SFWPornNetwork. Also it is not porn, they are sub reddits with pretty
pretty pictures.
/r/AbandonedPorn has images like this old stairway.
Check the right columnfor related subreddits.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 5 points 9 hours ago
Twox, and if you look in the sidebar they have links for related subs. That is h
ow I navigate around.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 17 points 10 hours ago
So it is you? Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]marshmallowmermaid 7 points 9 hours ago
:) I'm glad you got to connect.
permalinkparent
[ ]KitsBeach 4 points 5 hours ago
I just want to say that I recognize your name from other lady-oriented subs and
I thought you always seemed like a swell gal. This post cements that!
permalinkparent
[ ]diestate_enter 3 points 8 hours ago
Ask him how he came up with his username.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 32 points 7 hours ago
Are you talking about me? This is the name my kid gave to my dog. I think it is
the name of a dog on a kid show. I'm not a creative person, and the name always
reminds me of my daughter and makes me smile.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]aazav 14 points 9 hours ago
Ahhh. You look fine.
Glad you took the time to help peanut_butter_scotch out.
You did good.
permalinkparent
[ ]6F6A9O9 16 points 9 hours ago
I think you're real pretty on the inside and on the outside. What we call "all t

he way pretty". You're all the way pretty.


permalinkparent
[ ]GreenlyRose 7 points 7 hours ago
Don't be silly, you look lovely in those pics! :-)
permalinkparent
[ ]Pandibabi 18 points 10 hours ago
Wow u r beautiful .. from another heterosexual female btw dont want to sound cre
epy ok
permalinkparent
[ ]screaming-trees 14 points 10 hours ago
wow i love the great attidfue in this subreddit 10/10
permalinkparent
[ ]darkshy 6 points 8 hours ago
I mean, it could be worse. You look fine. You could actually look like a bloody
twat rag though. That would be terrible.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
In my defense I am wearing a lot of make up in those well mostly eye make up, th
ey were posted to makeupaddiction
permalinkparent
[ ]PushitClaw -2 points 6 hours ago
Just breathe...
permalinkparent
[ ]houseofbacon 12 points 11 hours ago
We must know if its a match. The suspense is thicker than my backup jar of peanu
t butter.
permalinkparent
[ ]Nozphexezora 10 points 11 hours ago
WooOOOooo. Lucky you! I've had a similar situation once, but about drug addictio
n. She never came back.
permalinkparent
[ ]BloodGuts_AngelCake 10 points 9 hours ago
I don't know why but this brought a tear to my eye. It's nice to see there are k
ind people in this world.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ask_Me_What_Love_Is 6 points 6 hours ago
Hey pbs. I'm not her nor a veteran but I've had my fair share of woes and work i
n the loma Linda area (redlands) and if you ever need someone to catch a smoke o
r talk with, grab a beer or lunch with I am here. Just pm me and let me know.
permalinkparent
[ ]kaleybrennan 4 points 8 hours ago
hey idk if you'll see this but you should do a full tutorial of how you did that
makeup. and show what kind you use <3
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 13 points 7 hours ago
I think this was directed at the wrong person.
permalinkparent
[ ]Call_me_Kelly [score hidden] 1 hour ago
If there is a vet center near you I highly recommend checking them out.
http://www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
They specialize in ptsd and reintigration. When the VA became impossible for me
to go to because the noise, the people, and many bad experiences caused me to ha
ve panic attacks any time I entered I began going to the vet center for ptsd hel
p instead.
The atmosphere at my local vet center was awesome. The counselor I saw also help
ed me by creating scripts of what I needed to say to my pdoc and would message h
er on my behalf occasionally.
Also I began teleconference appointments with my va pdoc from a local outpatient
VA clinic. I didn't have the stress of going back into the VA and it allowed me
to tweak and adjust my meds when needed.

If you have nightmares, talk to a pdoc about prazosin. It helps reduce the whole
waking up flooded with adrenalin from nightmares thing. http://www.webmd.com/ato-z-guides/prazosin-for-ptsd
Also, the va prescribed me Xanax for anxiety for two years. If it's prescribed l
ong term for you talk to your doc about longterm side effects. I became full blo
wn agorophobic on it and it took away a year of my life. Imagine my anger when I
learner the va was supposed to have moved away from prescribing it long term du
e to terrible side effects years BEFORE they prescribed it to me.
/r/veterans is a pretty cool subreddit if you've never been.
I so glad someone was able to give you a stepping stone towards healing. I keep
pictures of my kids in my wallet to help ground me during panic attacks. I also
highly recommend changing the immediate surroundings. Leave the room or building
when one starts and it can sometimes help reduce the damage.
Kelly
permalinkparent
[ ]lawdudette -2 points 6 hours ago
/r/bestof!!!!!!
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 12 points 6 hours ago
I hope not I can not handle the harassment I'm not logging in again this is it I
am done
permalinkparent
[ ]PM_ME_TITS_MLADY 12 points 4 hours ago
Sigh, the internet is for everyone. But that's precisely the reason why sometime
s it's not for everyone.
Reddit is one of those places.
I wish you all the best, focus on the positive, always. It'll help at times, I p
romise.
permalinkparent
[ ]CochinBrahmaLover 2 points 3 hours ago
You can delete your account.
Go to preferences and there's an option to delete.
permalinkparent
[+] (1 child)
[ ]Notasurgeon 30 points 11 hours ago
Hey, I was working there today. What a coincidence.
permalinkparent
[ ]jonnyk354 -4 points 6 hours ago
Can you confirm that this event occurred?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Read the post. Did not say it happened today. It happened at the beginning of th
e month.
permalinkparent
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (4 children)
[ ]LoCHiF 22 points 10 hours ago
Gold is largely a donation to reddit. No-one really uses it.
permalinkparent
[ ]DarlinUntitled18 7 points 5 hours ago
I like to think of it somewhat symbolically, as in "Someone made a donation to R
eddit in your name!" sort of like, this comment, this person, or this content is
what I want to see on Reddit. People guild her because she is the kind of perso
n they want their user base to be, and they're proud to use the same website as
her.
permalinkparent
[ ]LoCHiF 3 points 2 hours ago
Agreed. It's a combination of a super emphatic upvote and the donation to reddit
as a sort of "yay reddit!" gesture.
permalinkparent
[ ]DiffidentDissident 9 points 10 hours ago

Hey, thanks for looking out for OP. I think that makes you pretty great.
permalinkparent
[ ]Drachte 17 points 11 hours ago
Op pls
permalinkparent
[ ]rightioushippie 7 points 8 hours ago
so what were the subreddits that helped you find coping mechanisms?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 11 points 8 hours ago
Twox, actually. I had made a post a while ago about being trigger by a video I s
aw of animal abuse that triggered flashbacks from sexual abuse in my childhood a
nd a lot of people gave me grounding tips.
permalinkparent
[ ]King_Penguin_IV [score hidden] 49 minutes ago
What grounding tips helped you the most?
permalinkparent
[ ]wibblywobblychilango 5 points 10 hours ago
Holy shit, things like this are why I love reddit so much! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]monkeiboi 8 points 10 hours ago
ignore her! Everyone gild her!
permalinkparent
[ ]MultiversEngineer 3 points 2 hours ago
Air Force vet here. I have PTSD with panic disorder.
This post is amazing to me. I can appreciate anyone who helps their fellow vets.
I am still in the process of gaining control over my own panic problems. Any ad
vice would be greatly appreciated.
PS: I am currently in school and was also diagnosed with ADD recently. The last
two years have just been a wreck.
permalinkparent
[ ]Defeat 3 points 4 hours ago
Hey there. If it makes you feel better: reddit runs very few ads. Criminally few
. This site was hemorrhaging money, and it probably still is. A few years ago (h
onestly I can't remember reddit time just sort of blurs together for me) reddit
was plagued by serve issues. Nothing would work or load. Then some genius invent
ed reddit gold. Or maybe it was mold first. Either way reddit was saved. Gold is
a donation more to the site we all mooch off of, and is definitely not a reward
for you being amazing. Also panic attacks fucking suck so thank you for helping
that guy out .
permalinkparent
[ ]MrFeles [score hidden] 58 minutes ago
Goddamnit. Read story, imagine some sort of fancy saint. Man calls out to the cr
owd, will she reveal herself?
Blood twat rag emerges.
What a strange mixture of emotions.
Also slightly relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2CWsqGFgkA
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey -2 points 7 hours ago
Weird, I guess you live in Riverside? What are the odds you would live in the sa
me county as myself.
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[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Well, seeing that the Loma Linda VA is used by both Riverside and San Bernardino
Counties, and considering how vast both of those counties are, plus people from
other counties who use that VA because they do not want to go to the others in
LA Jolla or Long Beach due to distance or whatever reasons, it is not so unlikel
y.
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[ ]dubyawinfrey 4 points 6 hours ago
Well, even though I'm technically a veteran now, I've never had a reason to visi

t the VA and fortunately do not have any problems with PTSD or anything of that
nature. (Depression, but nothing related to my time in).
Plus, I just moved here, so I thought that was interesting.
Either way, best of luck to you. I'm sorry your time in had some truly shitty mo
ments, for lack of a better phrase. I'm sure you're aware, but most of us are ag
ainst that shit. At least, I hope.
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[+]apologies-in-advance comment score below threshold (0 children)
[ ]Walkingonadream7 -1 points 3 hours ago
You can use it to buy some wax for your cross
permalinkparent
[+] (6 children)
[ ]RediscoveredIllusion 53 points 12 hours ago
I have PTSD as well, from abuse situations like so many others here. I am so gla
d someone came along to help you cope. I had forgotten about grounding myself th
is way and reading your post for her... Well, whomever she is, if she finds this
, thank you from me as well.
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[ ]Ivyleaguehandjob 185 points 13 hours ago
My father is a Korean War vet. We sat watching TV and the (new) Wounded Warrior
Project donation commercial comes on and my dad gets very angry. These commercia
ls are on par if not emotionally worse than the starving children and beaten dog
commercials.
We have done something very wrong to our veterans. There should be no need for c
harities like this. NO charities targeting veterans in need of food, clothing, s
helter, education, job training and more.
WWP Purpose:
To raise awareness and enlist the public's aid for the needs of injured service
members.
My father says "NO, that's our governments job, our employer!"
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[ ]athingz 39 points 11 hours ago*
job training and more.
As an Iraq veteran that can't even seem to get a job interview at Walmart, I'm s
tarting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm not sure I have PTSD from my service, but about 8 years later when I finally
went in to a sliding scale clinic for depression symptoms and inability to conc
entrate/study (failing school), they called it "survivor's guilt". I wish it was
my truck that got hit. I volunteered for every convoy after that. Never heard o
f survivor's guilt until I was out for 8 years.
Never used the VA before. Not even sure where to start or where they're located.
I just learned a couple months ago you don't have to be a 20 year vet or have a
disability % to qualify, apparently. All third-hand knowledge. I thought you co
uld only use them for stuff that happened while in, and there's no proof of anyt
hing health related on military record. I've seen my folder right before ETS.
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[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 39 points 10 hours ago
You can use the VA for medical care, even if you do not have a disability claim.
You just need to have served 180 days active service. Go to a local VA with you
r 214 and fill out some paperwork, you can usually be seen right away.
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[ ]panthera213 8 points 9 hours ago
Does your VA offer the chance to look at having service animals? My boyfriend is
in the CF and some of the guys here have gotten service animals to help them wi
th their PTSD. I know that it's been a comfort to them, or at least maybe anothe
r avenue to explore to help you out. Hope you are feeling better.
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[ ]IT_is_not_all_I_am 10 points 8 hours ago
Yeah, I know a guy that breeds and trains dogs for Rebuilding Warriors. I know h
e's trained them for folks with PTSD, but no idea how that organization selects

recipients. Might be worth looking into.


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[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
Or, find someone that gets rescue dogs and trains them instead of dogs that were
bred just for.
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[ ]asianfromamerica 1 point 6 hours ago
SO ARE YOU THE WOMAN THAT HELPED THIS MAN? You are amazing I hope you realize th
at.
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[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1 point 5 hours ago
No. I'm not. I'm average at best.
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[ ]darkangl187 7 points 8 hours ago
the VA is for those who served and discharged honorably, service connection or n
ot. please check them out it sounds like you need to consider service connection
for your survivors guilt.
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[ ]bloody_twat_rag 7 points 8 hours ago
Not just an honorable discharge. As long as you did not receive a dishonorable.
General, GUH, etc are accepted.
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[ ]Yeynna 4 points 6 hours ago
I'm starting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's the same for the unemployed, disable
d, and homeless who aren't veterans in the US (or anywhere else, I'm not America
n), I don't know what to say about everything else you faced because I can't ima
gine what living through it is like, but I want to say that no matter how much i
t seems like if you were suffering in the "right" way people would care more it'
s not true, it seems that way for everyone, but we're not alone in the facing th
is, and it's not your fault people are dismissing and scornful.
permalinkparent
[ ]Lots42 3 points 5 hours ago
www.211.org has lots of resourves for mental, physical and related help. Easy to
find lots and lots of stuff.
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[ ]preflop 3 points 2 hours ago
Hours late, but if you're having trouble getting things arranged, put in a call
to your local congressional office. You'll probably be assigned to a constituent
casework person and they'll put you in touch with who you need to talk to and w
here you need to go.
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[ ]mmm_toasty 19 points 12 hours ago
Hopefully at some point in the future the laws and regulations regarding providi
ng aid of all kinds to veterans in need will be fixed. For now though, as ways o
f acquiring the funding that the government fails to provide, I think that they
serve an important purpose.
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[ ]pmmesomeavocado 16 points 12 hours ago
The problem is that to do that, you need to raise taxes. And if you do that, you
're a freedom hating commie.
permalinkparent
[ ]bouncer4819 19 points 11 hours ago
Or we could just cut from our extremely overfunded defense budget, and reallocat
e those funds to actually help our vets
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[ ]vuhleeitee 0 points 4 hours ago
Yes. We should fire a whole bunch of people that are a few years away from retir
ement anyway. That makes complete sense.
You do realize that cutting the defense budget just means that it will create mo

re veterans who are at a loss for a stable source of income.


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[ ]tiehunter 3 points 4 hours ago
Or... Instead of buying jets that the military neither needs nor wants, we could
spend that money on veterans.
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[ ]athennna 8 points 11 hours ago
Or you need to better budget the tax revenue you already have.
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[ ]QuelqueChoseRose 0 points 2 hours ago
My understanding is that the V.A.'s fairly well-funded, nowadays. Relative to th
e rest of the federal government, at least. (Its funding's increased in years wh
en even Defense's was cut.) The problem's entirely administrative. It's a bureau
cratic nightmare, and no one's been able to solve it.
I think if a presidential candidate ran on a platform of simply making the feder
al government more efficient, they'd win easily. All the bickering about taxes a
nd spending, and we're still incredibly bad at doing what we want with the money
we tax and spend.
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[ ]hyene 9 points 11 hours ago
no, we don't need to raise taxes. we need to move from mathematically-illogical
capitalism to a scientifically-managed resource-based economy.
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[ ]Ruste 1 point 10 hours ago
Honestly curious, why should the government ever provide a service that is alrea
dy provided for by charities. Why force everyone to pay for something that peopl
e already give willingly to assuming that they provide enough. (I know they don'
t but according to OP there should be NO need for these charities as if it shoul
d be taken care of by the government regardless.)
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[ ]ggqq 7 points 10 hours ago
because there is a fine line we need to skate as a society between socialism and
capitalism to keep the employable people happy. If the government paid for ever
ything, we'd have incredibly high tax. This discourages people from working too
hard with tax brackets so you end up with nobody earning that much and an even h
igher tax because less people earn lots. What we need to do is convince rich peo
ple to be charitable (or rather, just tell rich people to give their money away
for free. I just solved the economic crisis. boom. you're welcome)
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[ ]Otto_Lidenbrock 6 points 9 hours ago
Except that tax brackets have never stopped anyone from making more money. Compl
ain about it, sure... But they still take the raise. It's a patently false argum
ent.
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[ ]undsowbe 10 points 8 hours ago
Your father as a Korean War Veteran would not qualify for the WWP program. Only
post 9/11 Vets qualify. Even at the VA, there are programs that my Vietnam-era h
usband does not qualify for (acupuncture being the most recent). The docs there
want the prestige and kudos that comes from treating recent Vets. It's the same
with the WWP. They know they can rake in the bucks if they play on public sentim
ent for post 9/11 Vets.
Never before have Veterans been excluded from programs based on the era they ser
ved in, until now.
TLDR: Fuck the WWP
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[ ]DrTypo 8 points 7 hours ago
WWP is also something that is wrong. Google wounded warrior project scam, and lo
ok at how much of the money that they collect actually goes to vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 160 points 14 hours ago

That is very sweet and I hope she sees this too! Best of luck on your journey an
d I am so sorry that as a nation we do so little for you and the other veterans.
Our system (what parts are not a clusterfuck) is frustrating at best and I am g
lad you find the courage every day to get up and navigate the system and your sy
mptoms, rather than letting the circumstances win. Hope she sees this! :)
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[ ]mantiskiller 18 points 13 hours ago
I have very little knowledge of what the opportunities available for veterans bu
t always hear that it is inadequate. What improvements do you think the governme
nt could make?
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[ ]athwartthelotus 29 points 12 hours ago
Well, (I'm assuming you are in the US) the system is just not streamlined and po
orly funded. You go for mental health help, there is no extra or quick he for pe
ople coming in while in crisis. Most get the same wait time as others. You go, y
ou sign up, and then you wait. Some people 6-8 weeks to be seen for someone who
sees you for 10 minutes to determine the meds you need and whether or not therap
y will help. Never mind med changes, trying to get refills. And you can forget h
ousing if you are homeless. Most VA houses/shelters are 30-50 beds and have wait
ing lists a mile long. We have homeless populations of mentally ill veterans who
, with the right meds and a few months of meals and a roof over their head would
be able to work some and get back on their feet. It's just a very broken, poorl
y funded, slow moving system and we as a country should be ashamed of ourselves.
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[ ]Evil__Toaster -3 points 12 hours ago
And you can forget housing if you are homeless.
That's why there is a pension program to give money to those that need it.
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[ ]athwartthelotus 16 points 12 hours ago
Yeah, but in some cases the money isn't enough or the application process is too
long and they are homeless before they get the money. Most homeless vets get mo
ney, its just not enough to live on and they aren't able to hold a job because t
hey can't get enough services to help their PTSD and resulting addictions. I was
a case worker for a veterans program for a year. I only lasted a year. It was t
he worst. The suicide rates, filling out paper work and seeing them be desperate
and only being able to say, 'well, I submitted it. we just have to wait.', not
having housing for them so at 5pm after hours of calling they were back out to w
ander another night on the streets. Ugh, I felt awful.
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[ ]endergrrl 21 points 12 hours ago
The pension program is only for vets with wartime service. Peacetime vets don't
have this fallback. Additionally, pension is only for those determined disabled.
There are some newer programs to combat homelessness for vets, but they depend
on location.
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[ ]Evil__Toaster 2 points 11 hours ago*
I'm just saying there is something, many people make it sound like there is no e
ffort at all. Homeless cases are a high priority. You sound like a VSR or VSO?
oh, ok, downvote me for thinking somebody sounds incredibly knowledgeable.
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[ ]endergrrl 12 points 11 hours ago
No. I'm a Legal Aid attorney who specializes in vets.
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[ ]Evil__Toaster 5 points 11 hours ago
Awesome. Nice to meet you.
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[ ]Sulde 37 points 12 hours ago
upvote for visibility.
and dude: when you are going through hell, keep on going. Never never never give
up.

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[ ]endergrrl 36 points 12 hours ago
Female army vet here, though not the one you're looking for. Which VAMC were you
at? I'm glad someone helped you through that and that you found a safe and help
ful space here.
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[ ]crouchtouchpause 32 points 12 hours ago
This is a beautiful post. All I can offer is that it does get better, and that a
nyone capable of writing such an emotionally honest post has already crossed mor
e bridges that most manage in a lifetime.
I hope she reads what you've written, but even if she doesn't you should know th
at many people have understood the sentiment and been moved by it.
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[ ]mablesyrup 9 points 11 hours ago
Posts like this prove why today is the best monday of the year!
permalinkparent
[ ]Tonyman457 12 points 9 hours ago
This post has everything. The tragedy. The cry for help. The rocky montage at th
e VA where everything gets slightly better, but he looses his mentor somewhere.
Then, BAM! they rekindle!
The cherry on top is that her fuckin reddit ID is Bloody Twat Rag. Hits you with
the feels, then brings you back with some good ol' fashioned dark humor.
Most novels aren't this good.
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[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
I read this in Stefon's voice :)
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[ ]Edrondol 33 points 6 hours ago
Marine vet here. No PTSD unless you count flashbacks of sitting in a storeroom f
or hours. But I wanted to pop in and say don't sweat the haters. Most of them ar
e just stupid kids trying to be edgy. The rest are assholes because they are ano
nymous and it's how they get their jollies. Just like the military, reddit has g
ood people and reddit has dicks. Unlike the military, you can completely ignore
the dicks here.
Don't know what branch you were in (I didn't read through everything), but I'm g
iving you a big Semper Fi anyway. Stay strong, brother.
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[ ]spookyxskepticism 16 points 11 hours ago
Aaaaand I'm in tears. I'm so glad she was able to help you. Here's an upvote. Ho
pefully with enough of these she'll take notice and see your post! I'm so glad t
hat your experience has helped you on to the path of healing. Thank you so much
for your service <3
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[ ]scarletdrive 3 points 9 hours ago
I needed a good cry today. Bless this post.
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[ ]faeriechyld 16 points 12 hours ago
I hope she gets your message of thanks even if she wants to remain anonymous. An
d I really really hope you start feeling better too. I wish I could do more than
offer internet hugs!
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[ ]schweppesmeoffmyfeet 32 points 13 hours ago
This is why I love Reddit.
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[ ]mightyflynn 14 points 12 hours ago
This is beautiful. I hope you are finding your ground.
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[ ]anniebme 13 points 11 hours ago
Hi friend! I find having a smooth stone in my pocket helps. The stone reminds me
of chilling next to a river. I hope you find your mini-reminder, too!

I have found EMDR therapy rough to go through but helpful to process thoughts an
d memories. It may help you, too. It won't be easy but neither is what you are c
urrently dealing with.
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[ ]BaronessUnderboob 11 points 8 hours ago
I use a piece of hematite sometimes, the weight feels nice in my hands. Though I
don't subscribe to that healing crystals stuff, I just like shiny rocks.
permalinkparent
[ ]anniebme 8 points 8 hours ago
Sounds like a great reminder to just be! Heavy enough to remind, light enough to
carry! Hematite just looks cool, too.
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[ ]DancingHeel 12 points 9 hours ago
I'm not her, but reading this has made me smile. I get down about working at VA
a lot - the bureaucracy and paperwork (and the sexual harassment from older Vets
) are really pushing me out the door. But I like the people I work with, and I k
now they really care about the wellbeing of Veterans. This is a great example of
that. Whether she was an employee or just a fellow Vet receiving services, ther
e are definitely good people in that crazy system.
To anyone else out there struggling with PTSD, other mental health concerns, or
service-related health issues - there is hope. Even when the VA gets horrible pr
ess, even when claims are backlogged - there are good people who want to help an
d are well-equipped to do so. If you haven't sought any help at the VA but you m
ight qualify for services, it's worth a shot. Don't give up. Every VA is, unfort
unately, very different in terms of quality. Shop around if you need to. It real
ly sucks that that's the way it is, because Veterans deserve better care. Govern
ment funding of Veteran services is extremely poor. But I have seen the efforts
of good people help change the system, slowly, from the inside.
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[ ]paulb02 9 points 10 hours ago
This is a great story and I am happy you were able to find one of the good peopl
e at the VA. There is a lot of VA bashing and I understand it is not the best si
tuation for veterans, but some people at the VA do truly care about the Veterans
and their treatment and benefits. While my wife was not a vet herself, she work
s in the Comp and Pension section and deals primarily with the veterans via the
claims process. The Veterans rarely know the person behind the claim but she doe
s go that extra step whenever possible to ensure the claims are not jacked up.
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[ ]TurdFergusonTheThird 10 points 9 hours ago
This post motivated me to join reddit. Long time listener first time poster here
.. Thanks for the energy.
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[ ]TheRealFJ 15 points 6 hours ago
Dude please don't let the ass holes turn you away from Reddit. I get shit all th
e time for the smallest shit here but you need to know that those people are onl
y here to be mean...like the comments on YouTube.
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[ ]Sector_805 23 points 11 hours ago
As a female who has served, I love this and hope she reads this.
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[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
Thank you for your service, ma'am
permalinkparent
[ ]Bm1324 13 points 12 hours ago
Wow, I hope you are able to find her. As someone with PTSD, I find that even a l
ot of well-meaning people don't know what to say or do when I'm triggered or in
a difficult place. They do their best to use methods that they've seen or say th
ings like "It'll be alright," which aren't much help at the moment and too dista
nt for me to connect to. I like that she was real and helped to put you back int
o reality by grounding you in the current place and time. I'll have to remember

this as well :)
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[ ]izzgo 24 points 13 hours ago
Upvoted so maybe she has a better chance to see this.
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[ ]supersayanftw 5 points 12 hours ago
Please update, best of luck to you
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[ ]devoted2mercury 7 points 12 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she sees this; Reddit is awesome.
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[ ]Clayra 7 points 11 hours ago
I know first hand how trying it can be getting treatment from the VA. I sometime
s find that it's easier to go to one of the help desks and ask them to walk you
to wherever you want to go. It won't get you put to the front of the line, but I
've found that things tend to move more smoothly.
Like so much of government work it's just a big good-ole-boys club, and there's
a good chance that anyone working there has to at the very least be friendly wit
h everyone else if they have any hopes of staying.
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[ ]BareKnuckleKitty 7 points 11 hours ago
This is so beautiful. Thank you for your service. I really hope she sees this!
permalink
[ ]petit_cochon 6 points 11 hours ago
Hey buddy, so glad this subreddit has helped you, and I hope it continues to hel
p you as you recover and heal.
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[ ]nomoredolls 6 points 11 hours ago
OP, thank you for your service and sacrifice. Thanks also to the VA mystery woma
n for her service and sacrifice.
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[ ]nerak1138 6 points 11 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she finds this, but even if she doesn't, she surely knows that s
he made a difference that day. Pay it forward, man. And keep your chin up. Lots
of love to you and all veterans.
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[ ]GimmeMuchosMangos 8 points 11 hours ago
Good luck to you.
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[ ]saraleecupcake 7 points 11 hours ago
Best of luck
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[ ]theBIGnaudd 7 points 10 hours ago
Keep your head up brother! Look for a support group. The VA has resources and ca
n help find you a group to join. Stay strong! There are so many people out there
who care and want to help you out with your experiences.
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[ ]rogue780 6 points 10 hours ago
/r/veterans has some good resources as well
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[ ]SuperChubbs 7 points 8 hours ago
This is really special. I served on a submarine for 4 years getting out in 2012
and I had a hard time readjusting. PTSD and depression combined with feeling lik
e I never related to many other veterans because I served in a different environ
ment then most.
I know it isn't easy to help someone going through PTSD or a panic attack but i'
ve had a few people really come through for me when I needed it and I don't know
where i'd be if they hadn't. Now my life is so much brighter. :) Thank you so m
uch for stepping up and helping that guy, people like you are wonderful.
permalink

[ ]somegaychick 2 points 4 hours ago


I cant even begin to imagine what its like. Thank you for your service. <3
permalinkparent
[ ]SuperChubbs 1 point 3 hours ago
Thank you so much, it used to make me uncomfortable hearing that but it's kinda
nice now that i'm doing so much better :) You made my night.
permalinkparent
[ ]kawaii-throwaway 6 points 8 hours ago
This entire post v was beautiful beginning to end.
My ptsd is considered in remission but I still wear patchouli pull to remind me
of my grandmother. I also have a lyric from one of my favorite songs on my wrist
. Seeing the message (be patient) itself keeps me grounded but being reminded of
the song takes me back to awe inspiring memories that snap me right out of an e
pisode.
It's a magical feeling when you finally find coping mechanisms that actually hel
p. Every moment before that feels like a constant waking nightmare, a landmine o
f triggers, but once you find what works, it's as if a weight is lifted from you
.
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[ ]Milagro_chef 21 points 13 hours ago
I have PTSD. Her definition is exact correct. Thank you.
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[ ]I_require_answers 10 points 10 hours ago
It's disappointing, and sadly unsurprising, that none of the professionals you w
orked with at the VA taught you some grounding skills, I mean that's really trau
ma therapy 101. It makes me sad our vets don't get better treatment than that. A
nyway, glad you guys found each other, and thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]baconchief 5 points 10 hours ago
Thank you for your service Sir! I hope you regain control of your life and can l
ive on happily! Much respect.
permalink
[ ]nocomfychairs 6 points 9 hours ago
Thank you both for your service.
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[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
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[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
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[ ]Hippiemamklp 5 points 8 hours ago
This made me tear up. I am sending huge cyber hugs to both of you! Sometimes hel
p comes in the most unlikely ways:-) Glad you are both getting help and I hope h
ealing.
permalink
[ ]ilokaners 6 points 7 hours ago
That's great. I wish you the best in healing. Sorry the VA doesn't help as much
as it should. I wish it would change but people like you and your friend are an
inspiration. Thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]squirtsmilk 5 points 7 hours ago
Thank you to our vets.. And to kind and compassionate people .... They make the
world safe for us all.

permalink
[ ]Noculum 7 points 6 hours ago
This warmed my heart. What a lovely story.
permalink
[ ]MonkeyNacho 7 points 6 hours ago
Thank you both for your service. I hope she, and the rest of us here on Reddit,
can help you find a road to inner peace.
permalink
[ ]Lots42 17 points 6 hours ago
You're on a woman-friendly sub-reddit that ended up on /r/all. That's why there'
s some negativity floating to the surface. /r/all is full of jackasses who can't
deal with the fact woman-friendly sub-reddits exist.
Or that women exist.
permalink
[ ]chocobodanger 8 points 7 hours ago
I have PTSD as well from rape. I have been diagnosed but the "system" here has f
ailed me by not getting me treatment needed (saw a counselor, put on depression/
anxiety meds, told I would have therapy and have not seen another counselor sinc
e?) You inadvertently helped me cope just by posting what she had told you.
permalink
[ ]txdahlia 10 points 6 hours ago
Unfortunately social media can bring out the dark side of those to impotent to s
how it in their daily lives because they fear repercussions, so they use an anon
ymous faceless version of themselves and pretend to be a bad ass. You are worthy
of happiness and peace after your great sacrifice. Don't let others put you dow
n.
permalink
[ ]dftexas165 5 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaay! The power of reddit. Glad you found her! I appreciate your service too b
uddy. I really hope you learn how to deal with you're issues brought on by your
experiences at war.
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[ ]lotsofsippycups 4 points 9 hours ago
Aww I'm so glad you found her! :)
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[ ]Ammoholic 3 points 8 hours ago
My dad is a doctor who treats ptsd at that va. Ask to see Dr goldstein. He will
help you for sure!
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[ ]soitgoes182 4 points 8 hours ago
This is fucking beautiful!!
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[ ]liesforliars 4 points 7 hours ago
I'm so happy you found her, man !! The internet can be wonderful..
permalink
[ ]dontdid 5 points 7 hours ago
This is so touching. Thank you both for your service and compassion. I hope you
find relief from what haunts you.
permalink
[ ]TheRainMonster 4 points 7 hours ago
Scotch tastes like peanut butter to you, too?
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[ ]Soxbee 5 points 7 hours ago
It's amazing how one person can really make a difference! I'm so glad you found
her again!
My heart goes out to all of the veterans. I want to hug you all and offer any su
pport I can for what you've been through.
permalink
[ ]jschlik 3 points 6 hours ago*
Glad you found her. Thanks for the humbling and inspiring post.

I dont know if anyone has already mentioned this but Vital Warrior (vitalwarrior
.org) could be a great resource for those suffering from mental illness. I reall
y like what they are doing to help Vets.
permalink
[ ]_Rootshell_ 13 points 11 hours ago
Peanut butter scotch, meet bloody twat rag. A match made in heaven.
permalink
[ ]Upam 8 points 11 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection, if this gets enough upvotes and stays on the m
ain page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story. Best of luck to
the op
permalink
[ ]aazav 4 points 9 hours ago
Be good man, be good.
permalink
[ ]cannedbread1 3 points 2 hours ago
I am so glad that there was a lifeline out there for you at the perfect time. I
am so very sad for negative comments you are getting. Some people truly are arse
hats.
permalink
[ ]TabulaRasaNot [score hidden] 33 minutes ago
You folks with the negative comments to which OP refers, the ones pushing him ba
ck into himself, shame on you. You make me wish karma was real.
permalink
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 8 points 13 hours ago
Upboats
permalink
[ ]saralt 5 points 11 hours ago
And many more boats.
permalinkparent
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 3 points 7 hours ago
best part is they found each other :)
permalinkparent
[ ]theclassywino 4 points 7 hours ago
You're a hero, best of luck to you. Thank you for serving.
permalink
[ ]ArcheryHunter4Life 4 points 5 hours ago
I just wanted to say thank you for stepping up and posting this, it is so touchi
ng. It is incredibly brave of you and I'm sorry for all that you've been through
and for all of the rude people on this site. I will probably never experience w
hat you have been through. I hope you find yourself healed and happy in the futu
re. Most especially, thank you for your service.
permalink
[ ]Code_NY [score hidden] 1 hour ago
I'm sorry you've had to read through negative responses to this post. It's the d
ownside of open forum on the Internet. Just let them wash over you and concentra
te on the good ones, which are plentiful.
I hope things get better for you soon and I'm glad you've managed to reconnect w
ith her :)
permalink
[ ]CrackpotPatriot [score hidden] 34 minutes ago
Takes a lot of courage to reach out a thank you on the interwebz -especially red
dit. Well done. Thank yous are just too rare in this world.
permalink
[ ]NejKidd 6 points 12 hours ago
Can't wait to see the response on /r/bestof
permalink
[ ]Honkbag 10 points 11 hours ago
Not to be "that guy" in an otherwise supportive thread, but breathing/mindfulnes
s meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therapies for panic attack

s. That's science. that's why the counselors likely repeated it.


Im sorry you didnt feel heard, OP, and the psychological empathy With someone pe
rceived/identified as previously traumatized now wise and mentoring seems helpfu
l to you. Also, the act of smoking mimics controlled breathing which contrasts w
ith either the feeling of suffocation or hyperventilation in panic. The peer sim
ply stated things in a different way that resonated based on shared experience.
That also is important...oftentimes people in therapy perceive that therapists "
don't understand" what they've been through, and therefore arent able to help th
em because they havent been through "the same thing". Fact is, even two people i
n the same fight wont experience the situation exactly the same. But that's not
the point. The point is that In addition to wanting to feel understood, OP, you
needed to know you're not alone, and you needed to see someone actively coping a
nd recovering.
Do what works for you OP...but try not to throw the baby out with the bath water
. You may have valid reasons for anger at the VA (and what psychological role th
ey play in the trauma experience) but those techniques are indeed helpful with c
ontinued practice. Maybe it just needed to be explained differently or in more d
epth (other than "just breathe"...which may come across as dismissive). use all
the resources (however limited) you have at your disposal and let your therapst
know what makes you mad.
Good luck.
permalink
[ ]waitwuh 16 points 9 hours ago
breathing/mindfulness meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therap
ies for panic attacks
Perhaps the little trinket or "reminder" is more helpful to mindfulness than jus
t telling somebody to breath.
permalinkparent
[ ]notteoscura 9 points 9 hours ago
I think the clutch is that she could meet him on his level of breathing alone no
t being enough. Some people can breathe their way out of a panic attack. Others
can't. But yes, science does show breathing to be beneficial.
permalinkparent
[ ]3jt 10 points 6 hours ago
Mindful breathing is a grounding technique. However, therapists usually don't te
ll you that, and if they do they don't emphasize the "why". They just say to bre
athe. If you're hyperventilating, and someone says "breathe", that's fucking stu
pid. What is helpful is to focus on something other than the fact that you're ha
ving a panic attack. Ritual activities like cigarette smoking are helpful. So is
mindful breathing. It's the mindful part that helps.
permalinkparent
[ ]PurpleMentat [score hidden] 1 hour ago
So much this. Breathing without grounding is pointless. Grounding is the point o
f slow, deep, fully exhaled breathing.
permalinkparent
[ ]Launchfit 3 points 8 hours ago
You may not even see this comment, but I highly recommend you try using medical
marijuana to help treat your PTSD. I'm not here trying to persuade you to try a
drug you may not have any knowledge of, but in my experience, it has had a treme
ndous benefit to veterans with PTSD. My brother served in Iraq for 3 years and r
eturned home with severe PTSD. After countless weeks of taking drugs that had no
real benefit whatsoever, he tried medical marijuana. Ever since he indulged in
weed, his condition has improved substantially and his PTSD symptoms seem to les
sen every day. Again, weed isn't for everyone and I'm not sitting here telling y
ou it's a magical drug that will completely cure you. I'm simply suggesting some
thing that could be of great use to you and potentially benefit you. Best of luc
k, and thank you for serving our country.
permalink
[ ]persnipboobiees 3 points 8 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection.. if this gets enough upvotes + stays on the ma

in page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story: best of luck to
the op.
permalink
[ ]LaughingJackass 2 points 5 hours ago
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Wanted to say just this.
permalink
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ]LadyLavaLamp -4 points 10 hours ago
bloody_twat_rag and peanut_butter_scotch forever! I SHIP IT
permalink
[+] (13 children)
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 50 minutes ago
I am a vet as well and im going through similar issues but one of your comments
is a little out of line.
" She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good chance she had been raped
."
Thats B/S, sorry to be the negative one in the party.
Thats like saying "Every wife of a soldier that stayed near base cheated on thei
r husband while they were deployed because all women are scandalous."
Obviously not true,
Just because its the army doesn't make them rapist and baby killers.
Please understand im not harassing you. Thats the kind of blanket statement that
could set others off, like me and my response....
permalink
[ ]Commando_Girl [score hidden] 36 minutes ago
Ummmm. There's a big difference between "good chance" and "every".
You have issues if you really don't see the difference between the two.
permalinkparent
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 31 minutes ago
Right but my point is both statements are false.
permalinkparent
[ ] 9 hours ago
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ] 7 hours ago
[+] (7 children)
[+] (15 children)
[ ] 2 hours ago
[ ]heatheranne[M] [score hidden] 1 hour ago
Be nice or go away.
permalink
[+] (2 children)
[+]Lonsdaleite comment score below threshold (1 child)
[+] (1 child)
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (6 children)
[+] (10 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+]nickbernstein comment score below threshold (2 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+] (2 children)
[+] (1 child)
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Looking for a woman who helped me very much at the VA. Please read./r/all (self.
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submitted 14 hours ago * by peanut_butter_scotch
I am a male, and a combat veteran. I was doing well mentally for a while, under
the care of doctors and taking medication for PTSD and depression. One day, I we
nt to the VA to see my doctor and pick up meds. I was not doing well, a divorce
and financial problems had triggered my PTSD. And the VA was very crowded that d
ay. I was just trying to get meds at the pharmacy so I could go hone, but it was
so packed full of people and everyone was so rude and loud that I was having a
full on panic attack. I sat against a wall, shaking and in tears. Then, she stoo
d next to me.
She asked me when I got back. Fellow veterans always can tell when someone is fr
esh from the combat zone, and I know I appeared that way. I told her I had been
back for a few years but I was not doing well. And I just broke down. She listen
ed as I vented about the clusterfuck of rude people, and how I could not calm do
wn. I said, "I know, I am just supposed to fucking breathe, right?" That is what

the counselors at the VA always said. Just breathe, it will be okay.


"No." She said. "That is fucking pointless. Breathing will not help you right no
w. You are having a present reaction to a problem from the past. Right now, you
need to ground yourself and get out of the fear loop so you can calm down and be
gin to relax."
I asked, how do I do that? She told me about how everyone has something differen
t to ground them. Something comforting, something that triggers endorphins and h
appy memories. She said, she has a bottle of clove extract in her pocket, the sm
ell reminds her of her grandmother.
I began thinking of what I could use. She asked me if I wanted to go have a smok
e with her outside, and I did, so we went to the smoking gazebo. I asked her whe
re she learned these things that she was telling me about, no one ever understoo
d and gave me tips that helped.
Then she told me about reddit. And about a few subs that are primarily for women
, to discuss anything, and a lot of women talked about these coping skills to co
pe after rape and domestic violence. I felt sad suddenly, and thought of the rap
e problem in the military. She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good
chance she had been raped. As she spoke, I thought of how bad she had it. Not on
ly did she have PTSD like me and so many other men do, but she had PTSD from get
ting raped by the very men that were supposed to have her back.
She told me about the online community that helps her more than the stupid group
therapy we all had to go to. So I have lurked on reddit for a while. But I want
ed to reach out and thank her, but no idea what her username is. I know she freq
uents subs like this that are aimed at women, so I was hoping that maybe she wou
ld see this and would know how much it meant to me that she helped me. If anyone
here knows of a female veteran that frequents here, let me know.
Mysterious woman from the VA, thank you so much. You helped me find a path to he
aling. And I hope you find this.
Edit: I made this post then took a nap. I checked reddit on my phone and noticed
the very overwhelming response. Thank you, to everyone, for your support. And I
think I may have found her! My apologies for not respondingnto most of you, som
etimes I find even interacting with strangers online can be very anxiety inducin
g so I tend to steer clear, which is why I took so long to even make an account
on here. But I appreciate the kindness; I was not expecting to get this kind of
response. Thank you.
And final edit: well, found her. And, that is all. Being able to talk with her a
gain is great, and the positive response is nice, but the negative shit and the
insults being thrown and both her and I is very sad. I do not know why people mu
st hurt others when they are getting kind attention from others but I am told th
at is the way of Reddit. No, we will not be dating, she has a boyfriend which I
knew because he was there when I first met her. Tomorrow we are meeting for lunc
h, maybe she will post pics of it. I thought this would be fun and exciting but
with the negativity I am dreading even coming on reddit again. So, if she wants
to post pics tomorrow that will be up to her.
323 commentsshare
all 323 comments
sorted by: best
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1270 points 12 hours ago*
So, I passed this post by with an upvote and moved on. I was watching TV and it
clicked.
Was this at the VA in Loma Linda, CA?
And I appreciate the gold, guys, but please do not gild me anymore. I get the se
ntiment, but please, give it to someone else. I have no use for it.
permalink
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 518 points 11 hours ago
Yes! The VA in Loma Linda! Sorry I took so long to respond, I made this post, th
en took my meds and ended up passing out. Is this you?
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 141 points 11 hours ago
I hope so, this is one of the best things I've read in a while.

permalinkparent
[ ]joethomma 71 points 7 hours ago
It was all made possible by /u/bloody_twat_rag
permalinkparent
[ ]AcknowledgeTheLlama 17 points 6 hours ago
And her grandmothers cloves
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 117 points 11 hours ago
Oh. I am still new to this, I have only been lurking on reddit for a few weeks,
maybe. I did not know that.
permalink
[ ]tryingtomakeit9 74 points 11 hours ago
So...is it her?
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 210 points 10 hours ago
Yes it is her!
permalinkparent
[ ]bhamv 38 points 10 hours ago
Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]allygraceless 23 points 10 hours ago
This makes me so happy :)
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 22 points 8 hours ago
I love /u/bloody_twat_rag. She always has words of wisdom.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 10 points 7 hours ago
Is she well known on this site?
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 18 points 7 hours ago
I have no idea, but I find her name very memorable.
permalinkparent
[ ]A_Cylon_Raider 9 points 7 hours ago
Probably not, it's just a common thing people joke about here when really nice o
r helpful people have surprising or strange usernames.
permalinkparent
[ ]aazav 21 points 9 hours ago
Glad you found the woman who helped you.
Feel better and when you can, pass on the same help that she gave you.
Cheers.
permalinkparent
[ ]terriblecowgirl 12 points 10 hours ago
This is beautiful. I'm glad you found her!!! :)
permalinkparent
[ ]littlemissderpy 7 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]digitalyss 7 points 9 hours ago
Holy shit
permalinkparent
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 10 points 10 hours ago
They are apparently PMing right now, so... I think so?
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]your_ex_girlfriend- 40 points 11 hours ago
The MUA in me loves this cat eye and the TwoXer in me wants it to be her... even
if it is kind of weird to repost this album here...
permalink
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 40 points 10 hours ago

Tape. That is my secret here on the eye make up. Tape.


permalinkparent
[ ]Mojitana 6 points 8 hours ago
That's a really great tip. Thanks!
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 138 points 11 hours ago
Wow I look like shit in those pics.
permalink
[ ]LabGeeked 156 points 11 hours ago
Shaddap, you are lovely in every way.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 186 points 10 hours ago
Yes, she is as beautiful outside as she is on the inside.
permalinkparent
[ ]ilovegingermen 92 points 9 hours ago
peanut_butter_scotch and bloody_twat_rags - A Love Story
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 118 points 9 hours ago
Perhaps, but I am in a happy relationship with children. This could be the start
of a friendship, though.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 60 points 10 hours ago
Sorry, I honestly didn't think you looked bad and they were from the first post
with your face that I found. I was just trying to help u/peanut_butter_scotch, d
oesn't sound like he knows how to look at a users' profile.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 120 points 10 hours ago
Its OK, the pics are just not flattering because I posted them to MUA for CC. Me
and him are talking on fb messenger right now, I think he is a bit overwhelmed
and shocked by the response he got.
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 51 points 10 hours ago
Okay now that is just fantastic. Cheers to you for being the good person you nee
ded to be at the time you needed to be it. It sounds like you selflessly helped
a fellow human when it really mattered.
permalinkparent
[ ]HaloNinjee 12 points 9 hours ago
I <3 you.
I know of the typical subs like this but if you have some suggestions for more I
'm looking to show my wife around the friendlier side of reddit.
permalinkparent
[ ]itsme_eloise 16 points 9 hours ago
Hey there - what does your wife like? TwoX is good, /r/TrollXChromosomes is amaz
ing as is their brother sub /r/TrollYChromosome. I personally also like some sub
reddits aimed at improving my appearance that have a bit more of a feminine comm
unity like /r/MakeupAddiction, /r/SkincareAddiction and /r/HaircareScience. Depe
nding on what she likes, there's probably a subreddit for it!
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]cviwood 10 points 8 hours ago
I like the SFWPornNetwork. Also it is not porn, they are sub reddits with pretty
pretty pictures.
/r/AbandonedPorn has images like this old stairway.
Check the right columnfor related subreddits.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 5 points 9 hours ago
Twox, and if you look in the sidebar they have links for related subs. That is h
ow I navigate around.
permalinkparent

continue this thread


[ ]MagicalZeuscat 17 points 10 hours ago
So it is you? Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]marshmallowmermaid 7 points 9 hours ago
:) I'm glad you got to connect.
permalinkparent
[ ]KitsBeach 4 points 5 hours ago
I just want to say that I recognize your name from other lady-oriented subs and
I thought you always seemed like a swell gal. This post cements that!
permalinkparent
[ ]diestate_enter 3 points 8 hours ago
Ask him how he came up with his username.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 32 points 7 hours ago
Are you talking about me? This is the name my kid gave to my dog. I think it is
the name of a dog on a kid show. I'm not a creative person, and the name always
reminds me of my daughter and makes me smile.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]aazav 14 points 9 hours ago
Ahhh. You look fine.
Glad you took the time to help peanut_butter_scotch out.
You did good.
permalinkparent
[ ]6F6A9O9 16 points 9 hours ago
I think you're real pretty on the inside and on the outside. What we call "all t
he way pretty". You're all the way pretty.
permalinkparent
[ ]GreenlyRose 7 points 7 hours ago
Don't be silly, you look lovely in those pics! :-)
permalinkparent
[ ]Pandibabi 18 points 10 hours ago
Wow u r beautiful .. from another heterosexual female btw dont want to sound cre
epy ok
permalinkparent
[ ]screaming-trees 14 points 10 hours ago
wow i love the great attidfue in this subreddit 10/10
permalinkparent
[ ]darkshy 6 points 8 hours ago
I mean, it could be worse. You look fine. You could actually look like a bloody
twat rag though. That would be terrible.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
In my defense I am wearing a lot of make up in those well mostly eye make up, th
ey were posted to makeupaddiction
permalinkparent
[ ]PushitClaw -2 points 6 hours ago
Just breathe...
permalinkparent
[ ]houseofbacon 12 points 11 hours ago
We must know if its a match. The suspense is thicker than my backup jar of peanu
t butter.
permalinkparent
[ ]Nozphexezora 10 points 11 hours ago
WooOOOooo. Lucky you! I've had a similar situation once, but about drug addictio
n. She never came back.
permalinkparent
[ ]BloodGuts_AngelCake 10 points 9 hours ago
I don't know why but this brought a tear to my eye. It's nice to see there are k

ind people in this world.


permalinkparent
[ ]Ask_Me_What_Love_Is 6 points 6 hours ago
Hey pbs. I'm not her nor a veteran but I've had my fair share of woes and work i
n the loma Linda area (redlands) and if you ever need someone to catch a smoke o
r talk with, grab a beer or lunch with I am here. Just pm me and let me know.
permalinkparent
[ ]kaleybrennan 4 points 8 hours ago
hey idk if you'll see this but you should do a full tutorial of how you did that
makeup. and show what kind you use <3
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 13 points 7 hours ago
I think this was directed at the wrong person.
permalinkparent
[ ]Call_me_Kelly [score hidden] 1 hour ago
If there is a vet center near you I highly recommend checking them out.
http://www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
They specialize in ptsd and reintigration. When the VA became impossible for me
to go to because the noise, the people, and many bad experiences caused me to ha
ve panic attacks any time I entered I began going to the vet center for ptsd hel
p instead.
The atmosphere at my local vet center was awesome. The counselor I saw also help
ed me by creating scripts of what I needed to say to my pdoc and would message h
er on my behalf occasionally.
Also I began teleconference appointments with my va pdoc from a local outpatient
VA clinic. I didn't have the stress of going back into the VA and it allowed me
to tweak and adjust my meds when needed.
If you have nightmares, talk to a pdoc about prazosin. It helps reduce the whole
waking up flooded with adrenalin from nightmares thing. http://www.webmd.com/ato-z-guides/prazosin-for-ptsd
Also, the va prescribed me Xanax for anxiety for two years. If it's prescribed l
ong term for you talk to your doc about longterm side effects. I became full blo
wn agorophobic on it and it took away a year of my life. Imagine my anger when I
learner the va was supposed to have moved away from prescribing it long term du
e to terrible side effects years BEFORE they prescribed it to me.
/r/veterans is a pretty cool subreddit if you've never been.
I so glad someone was able to give you a stepping stone towards healing. I keep
pictures of my kids in my wallet to help ground me during panic attacks. I also
highly recommend changing the immediate surroundings. Leave the room or building
when one starts and it can sometimes help reduce the damage.
Kelly
permalinkparent
[ ]lawdudette -2 points 6 hours ago
/r/bestof!!!!!!
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 12 points 6 hours ago
I hope not I can not handle the harassment I'm not logging in again this is it I
am done
permalinkparent
[ ]PM_ME_TITS_MLADY 12 points 4 hours ago
Sigh, the internet is for everyone. But that's precisely the reason why sometime
s it's not for everyone.
Reddit is one of those places.
I wish you all the best, focus on the positive, always. It'll help at times, I p
romise.
permalinkparent
[ ]CochinBrahmaLover 2 points 3 hours ago
You can delete your account.
Go to preferences and there's an option to delete.
permalinkparent

[+] (1 child)
[ ]Notasurgeon 30 points 11 hours ago
Hey, I was working there today. What a coincidence.
permalinkparent
[ ]jonnyk354 -4 points 6 hours ago
Can you confirm that this event occurred?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Read the post. Did not say it happened today. It happened at the beginning of th
e month.
permalinkparent
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (4 children)
[ ]LoCHiF 22 points 10 hours ago
Gold is largely a donation to reddit. No-one really uses it.
permalinkparent
[ ]DarlinUntitled18 7 points 5 hours ago
I like to think of it somewhat symbolically, as in "Someone made a donation to R
eddit in your name!" sort of like, this comment, this person, or this content is
what I want to see on Reddit. People guild her because she is the kind of perso
n they want their user base to be, and they're proud to use the same website as
her.
permalinkparent
[ ]LoCHiF 3 points 2 hours ago
Agreed. It's a combination of a super emphatic upvote and the donation to reddit
as a sort of "yay reddit!" gesture.
permalinkparent
[ ]DiffidentDissident 9 points 10 hours ago
Hey, thanks for looking out for OP. I think that makes you pretty great.
permalinkparent
[ ]Drachte 17 points 11 hours ago
Op pls
permalinkparent
[ ]rightioushippie 7 points 8 hours ago
so what were the subreddits that helped you find coping mechanisms?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 11 points 8 hours ago
Twox, actually. I had made a post a while ago about being trigger by a video I s
aw of animal abuse that triggered flashbacks from sexual abuse in my childhood a
nd a lot of people gave me grounding tips.
permalinkparent
[ ]King_Penguin_IV [score hidden] 49 minutes ago
What grounding tips helped you the most?
permalinkparent
[ ]wibblywobblychilango 5 points 10 hours ago
Holy shit, things like this are why I love reddit so much! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]monkeiboi 8 points 10 hours ago
ignore her! Everyone gild her!
permalinkparent
[ ]MultiversEngineer 3 points 2 hours ago
Air Force vet here. I have PTSD with panic disorder.
This post is amazing to me. I can appreciate anyone who helps their fellow vets.
I am still in the process of gaining control over my own panic problems. Any ad
vice would be greatly appreciated.
PS: I am currently in school and was also diagnosed with ADD recently. The last
two years have just been a wreck.
permalinkparent
[ ]Defeat 3 points 4 hours ago
Hey there. If it makes you feel better: reddit runs very few ads. Criminally few
. This site was hemorrhaging money, and it probably still is. A few years ago (h

onestly I can't remember reddit time just sort of blurs together for me) reddit
was plagued by serve issues. Nothing would work or load. Then some genius invent
ed reddit gold. Or maybe it was mold first. Either way reddit was saved. Gold is
a donation more to the site we all mooch off of, and is definitely not a reward
for you being amazing. Also panic attacks fucking suck so thank you for helping
that guy out .
permalinkparent
[ ]MrFeles [score hidden] 58 minutes ago
Goddamnit. Read story, imagine some sort of fancy saint. Man calls out to the cr
owd, will she reveal herself?
Blood twat rag emerges.
What a strange mixture of emotions.
Also slightly relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2CWsqGFgkA
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey -2 points 7 hours ago
Weird, I guess you live in Riverside? What are the odds you would live in the sa
me county as myself.
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[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Well, seeing that the Loma Linda VA is used by both Riverside and San Bernardino
Counties, and considering how vast both of those counties are, plus people from
other counties who use that VA because they do not want to go to the others in
LA Jolla or Long Beach due to distance or whatever reasons, it is not so unlikel
y.
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[ ]dubyawinfrey 4 points 6 hours ago
Well, even though I'm technically a veteran now, I've never had a reason to visi
t the VA and fortunately do not have any problems with PTSD or anything of that
nature. (Depression, but nothing related to my time in).
Plus, I just moved here, so I thought that was interesting.
Either way, best of luck to you. I'm sorry your time in had some truly shitty mo
ments, for lack of a better phrase. I'm sure you're aware, but most of us are ag
ainst that shit. At least, I hope.
permalinkparent
[+]apologies-in-advance comment score below threshold (0 children)
[ ]Walkingonadream7 -1 points 3 hours ago
You can use it to buy some wax for your cross
permalinkparent
[+] (6 children)
[ ]RediscoveredIllusion 53 points 12 hours ago
I have PTSD as well, from abuse situations like so many others here. I am so gla
d someone came along to help you cope. I had forgotten about grounding myself th
is way and reading your post for her... Well, whomever she is, if she finds this
, thank you from me as well.
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[ ]Ivyleaguehandjob 185 points 13 hours ago
My father is a Korean War vet. We sat watching TV and the (new) Wounded Warrior
Project donation commercial comes on and my dad gets very angry. These commercia
ls are on par if not emotionally worse than the starving children and beaten dog
commercials.
We have done something very wrong to our veterans. There should be no need for c
harities like this. NO charities targeting veterans in need of food, clothing, s
helter, education, job training and more.
WWP Purpose:
To raise awareness and enlist the public's aid for the needs of injured service
members.
My father says "NO, that's our governments job, our employer!"
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[ ]athingz 39 points 11 hours ago*
job training and more.

As an Iraq veteran that can't even seem to get a job interview at Walmart, I'm s
tarting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm not sure I have PTSD from my service, but about 8 years later when I finally
went in to a sliding scale clinic for depression symptoms and inability to conc
entrate/study (failing school), they called it "survivor's guilt". I wish it was
my truck that got hit. I volunteered for every convoy after that. Never heard o
f survivor's guilt until I was out for 8 years.
Never used the VA before. Not even sure where to start or where they're located.
I just learned a couple months ago you don't have to be a 20 year vet or have a
disability % to qualify, apparently. All third-hand knowledge. I thought you co
uld only use them for stuff that happened while in, and there's no proof of anyt
hing health related on military record. I've seen my folder right before ETS.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 39 points 10 hours ago
You can use the VA for medical care, even if you do not have a disability claim.
You just need to have served 180 days active service. Go to a local VA with you
r 214 and fill out some paperwork, you can usually be seen right away.
permalinkparent
[ ]panthera213 8 points 9 hours ago
Does your VA offer the chance to look at having service animals? My boyfriend is
in the CF and some of the guys here have gotten service animals to help them wi
th their PTSD. I know that it's been a comfort to them, or at least maybe anothe
r avenue to explore to help you out. Hope you are feeling better.
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[ ]IT_is_not_all_I_am 10 points 8 hours ago
Yeah, I know a guy that breeds and trains dogs for Rebuilding Warriors. I know h
e's trained them for folks with PTSD, but no idea how that organization selects
recipients. Might be worth looking into.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
Or, find someone that gets rescue dogs and trains them instead of dogs that were
bred just for.
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[ ]asianfromamerica 1 point 6 hours ago
SO ARE YOU THE WOMAN THAT HELPED THIS MAN? You are amazing I hope you realize th
at.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1 point 5 hours ago
No. I'm not. I'm average at best.
permalinkparent
[ ]darkangl187 7 points 8 hours ago
the VA is for those who served and discharged honorably, service connection or n
ot. please check them out it sounds like you need to consider service connection
for your survivors guilt.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 7 points 8 hours ago
Not just an honorable discharge. As long as you did not receive a dishonorable.
General, GUH, etc are accepted.
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[ ]Yeynna 4 points 6 hours ago
I'm starting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's the same for the unemployed, disable
d, and homeless who aren't veterans in the US (or anywhere else, I'm not America
n), I don't know what to say about everything else you faced because I can't ima
gine what living through it is like, but I want to say that no matter how much i
t seems like if you were suffering in the "right" way people would care more it'
s not true, it seems that way for everyone, but we're not alone in the facing th
is, and it's not your fault people are dismissing and scornful.
permalinkparent
[ ]Lots42 3 points 5 hours ago

www.211.org has lots of resourves for mental, physical and related help. Easy to
find lots and lots of stuff.
permalinkparent
[ ]preflop 3 points 2 hours ago
Hours late, but if you're having trouble getting things arranged, put in a call
to your local congressional office. You'll probably be assigned to a constituent
casework person and they'll put you in touch with who you need to talk to and w
here you need to go.
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[ ]mmm_toasty 19 points 12 hours ago
Hopefully at some point in the future the laws and regulations regarding providi
ng aid of all kinds to veterans in need will be fixed. For now though, as ways o
f acquiring the funding that the government fails to provide, I think that they
serve an important purpose.
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[ ]pmmesomeavocado 16 points 12 hours ago
The problem is that to do that, you need to raise taxes. And if you do that, you
're a freedom hating commie.
permalinkparent
[ ]bouncer4819 19 points 11 hours ago
Or we could just cut from our extremely overfunded defense budget, and reallocat
e those funds to actually help our vets
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[ ]vuhleeitee 0 points 4 hours ago
Yes. We should fire a whole bunch of people that are a few years away from retir
ement anyway. That makes complete sense.
You do realize that cutting the defense budget just means that it will create mo
re veterans who are at a loss for a stable source of income.
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[ ]tiehunter 3 points 4 hours ago
Or... Instead of buying jets that the military neither needs nor wants, we could
spend that money on veterans.
permalinkparent
[ ]athennna 8 points 11 hours ago
Or you need to better budget the tax revenue you already have.
permalinkparent
[ ]QuelqueChoseRose 0 points 2 hours ago
My understanding is that the V.A.'s fairly well-funded, nowadays. Relative to th
e rest of the federal government, at least. (Its funding's increased in years wh
en even Defense's was cut.) The problem's entirely administrative. It's a bureau
cratic nightmare, and no one's been able to solve it.
I think if a presidential candidate ran on a platform of simply making the feder
al government more efficient, they'd win easily. All the bickering about taxes a
nd spending, and we're still incredibly bad at doing what we want with the money
we tax and spend.
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[ ]hyene 9 points 11 hours ago
no, we don't need to raise taxes. we need to move from mathematically-illogical
capitalism to a scientifically-managed resource-based economy.
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[ ]Ruste 1 point 10 hours ago
Honestly curious, why should the government ever provide a service that is alrea
dy provided for by charities. Why force everyone to pay for something that peopl
e already give willingly to assuming that they provide enough. (I know they don'
t but according to OP there should be NO need for these charities as if it shoul
d be taken care of by the government regardless.)
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[ ]ggqq 7 points 10 hours ago
because there is a fine line we need to skate as a society between socialism and
capitalism to keep the employable people happy. If the government paid for ever

ything, we'd have incredibly high tax. This discourages people from working too
hard with tax brackets so you end up with nobody earning that much and an even h
igher tax because less people earn lots. What we need to do is convince rich peo
ple to be charitable (or rather, just tell rich people to give their money away
for free. I just solved the economic crisis. boom. you're welcome)
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[ ]Otto_Lidenbrock 6 points 9 hours ago
Except that tax brackets have never stopped anyone from making more money. Compl
ain about it, sure... But they still take the raise. It's a patently false argum
ent.
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[ ]undsowbe 10 points 8 hours ago
Your father as a Korean War Veteran would not qualify for the WWP program. Only
post 9/11 Vets qualify. Even at the VA, there are programs that my Vietnam-era h
usband does not qualify for (acupuncture being the most recent). The docs there
want the prestige and kudos that comes from treating recent Vets. It's the same
with the WWP. They know they can rake in the bucks if they play on public sentim
ent for post 9/11 Vets.
Never before have Veterans been excluded from programs based on the era they ser
ved in, until now.
TLDR: Fuck the WWP
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[ ]DrTypo 8 points 7 hours ago
WWP is also something that is wrong. Google wounded warrior project scam, and lo
ok at how much of the money that they collect actually goes to vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 160 points 14 hours ago
That is very sweet and I hope she sees this too! Best of luck on your journey an
d I am so sorry that as a nation we do so little for you and the other veterans.
Our system (what parts are not a clusterfuck) is frustrating at best and I am g
lad you find the courage every day to get up and navigate the system and your sy
mptoms, rather than letting the circumstances win. Hope she sees this! :)
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[ ]mantiskiller 18 points 13 hours ago
I have very little knowledge of what the opportunities available for veterans bu
t always hear that it is inadequate. What improvements do you think the governme
nt could make?
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[ ]athwartthelotus 29 points 12 hours ago
Well, (I'm assuming you are in the US) the system is just not streamlined and po
orly funded. You go for mental health help, there is no extra or quick he for pe
ople coming in while in crisis. Most get the same wait time as others. You go, y
ou sign up, and then you wait. Some people 6-8 weeks to be seen for someone who
sees you for 10 minutes to determine the meds you need and whether or not therap
y will help. Never mind med changes, trying to get refills. And you can forget h
ousing if you are homeless. Most VA houses/shelters are 30-50 beds and have wait
ing lists a mile long. We have homeless populations of mentally ill veterans who
, with the right meds and a few months of meals and a roof over their head would
be able to work some and get back on their feet. It's just a very broken, poorl
y funded, slow moving system and we as a country should be ashamed of ourselves.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster -3 points 12 hours ago
And you can forget housing if you are homeless.
That's why there is a pension program to give money to those that need it.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 16 points 12 hours ago
Yeah, but in some cases the money isn't enough or the application process is too
long and they are homeless before they get the money. Most homeless vets get mo
ney, its just not enough to live on and they aren't able to hold a job because t
hey can't get enough services to help their PTSD and resulting addictions. I was

a case worker for a veterans program for a year. I only lasted a year. It was t
he worst. The suicide rates, filling out paper work and seeing them be desperate
and only being able to say, 'well, I submitted it. we just have to wait.', not
having housing for them so at 5pm after hours of calling they were back out to w
ander another night on the streets. Ugh, I felt awful.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 21 points 12 hours ago
The pension program is only for vets with wartime service. Peacetime vets don't
have this fallback. Additionally, pension is only for those determined disabled.
There are some newer programs to combat homelessness for vets, but they depend
on location.
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[ ]Evil__Toaster 2 points 11 hours ago*
I'm just saying there is something, many people make it sound like there is no e
ffort at all. Homeless cases are a high priority. You sound like a VSR or VSO?
oh, ok, downvote me for thinking somebody sounds incredibly knowledgeable.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 12 points 11 hours ago
No. I'm a Legal Aid attorney who specializes in vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster 5 points 11 hours ago
Awesome. Nice to meet you.
permalinkparent
[ ]Sulde 37 points 12 hours ago
upvote for visibility.
and dude: when you are going through hell, keep on going. Never never never give
up.
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[ ]endergrrl 36 points 12 hours ago
Female army vet here, though not the one you're looking for. Which VAMC were you
at? I'm glad someone helped you through that and that you found a safe and help
ful space here.
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[ ]crouchtouchpause 32 points 12 hours ago
This is a beautiful post. All I can offer is that it does get better, and that a
nyone capable of writing such an emotionally honest post has already crossed mor
e bridges that most manage in a lifetime.
I hope she reads what you've written, but even if she doesn't you should know th
at many people have understood the sentiment and been moved by it.
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[ ]mablesyrup 9 points 11 hours ago
Posts like this prove why today is the best monday of the year!
permalinkparent
[ ]Tonyman457 12 points 9 hours ago
This post has everything. The tragedy. The cry for help. The rocky montage at th
e VA where everything gets slightly better, but he looses his mentor somewhere.
Then, BAM! they rekindle!
The cherry on top is that her fuckin reddit ID is Bloody Twat Rag. Hits you with
the feels, then brings you back with some good ol' fashioned dark humor.
Most novels aren't this good.
permalinkparent
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
I read this in Stefon's voice :)
permalinkparent
[ ]Edrondol 33 points 6 hours ago
Marine vet here. No PTSD unless you count flashbacks of sitting in a storeroom f
or hours. But I wanted to pop in and say don't sweat the haters. Most of them ar
e just stupid kids trying to be edgy. The rest are assholes because they are ano
nymous and it's how they get their jollies. Just like the military, reddit has g
ood people and reddit has dicks. Unlike the military, you can completely ignore

the dicks here.


Don't know what branch you were in (I didn't read through everything), but I'm g
iving you a big Semper Fi anyway. Stay strong, brother.
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[ ]spookyxskepticism 16 points 11 hours ago
Aaaaand I'm in tears. I'm so glad she was able to help you. Here's an upvote. Ho
pefully with enough of these she'll take notice and see your post! I'm so glad t
hat your experience has helped you on to the path of healing. Thank you so much
for your service <3
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[ ]scarletdrive 3 points 9 hours ago
I needed a good cry today. Bless this post.
permalinkparent
[ ]faeriechyld 16 points 12 hours ago
I hope she gets your message of thanks even if she wants to remain anonymous. An
d I really really hope you start feeling better too. I wish I could do more than
offer internet hugs!
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[ ]schweppesmeoffmyfeet 32 points 13 hours ago
This is why I love Reddit.
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[ ]mightyflynn 14 points 12 hours ago
This is beautiful. I hope you are finding your ground.
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[ ]anniebme 13 points 11 hours ago
Hi friend! I find having a smooth stone in my pocket helps. The stone reminds me
of chilling next to a river. I hope you find your mini-reminder, too!
I have found EMDR therapy rough to go through but helpful to process thoughts an
d memories. It may help you, too. It won't be easy but neither is what you are c
urrently dealing with.
permalink
[ ]BaronessUnderboob 11 points 8 hours ago
I use a piece of hematite sometimes, the weight feels nice in my hands. Though I
don't subscribe to that healing crystals stuff, I just like shiny rocks.
permalinkparent
[ ]anniebme 8 points 8 hours ago
Sounds like a great reminder to just be! Heavy enough to remind, light enough to
carry! Hematite just looks cool, too.
permalinkparent
[ ]DancingHeel 12 points 9 hours ago
I'm not her, but reading this has made me smile. I get down about working at VA
a lot - the bureaucracy and paperwork (and the sexual harassment from older Vets
) are really pushing me out the door. But I like the people I work with, and I k
now they really care about the wellbeing of Veterans. This is a great example of
that. Whether she was an employee or just a fellow Vet receiving services, ther
e are definitely good people in that crazy system.
To anyone else out there struggling with PTSD, other mental health concerns, or
service-related health issues - there is hope. Even when the VA gets horrible pr
ess, even when claims are backlogged - there are good people who want to help an
d are well-equipped to do so. If you haven't sought any help at the VA but you m
ight qualify for services, it's worth a shot. Don't give up. Every VA is, unfort
unately, very different in terms of quality. Shop around if you need to. It real
ly sucks that that's the way it is, because Veterans deserve better care. Govern
ment funding of Veteran services is extremely poor. But I have seen the efforts
of good people help change the system, slowly, from the inside.
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[ ]paulb02 9 points 10 hours ago
This is a great story and I am happy you were able to find one of the good peopl
e at the VA. There is a lot of VA bashing and I understand it is not the best si
tuation for veterans, but some people at the VA do truly care about the Veterans

and their treatment and benefits. While my wife was not a vet herself, she work
s in the Comp and Pension section and deals primarily with the veterans via the
claims process. The Veterans rarely know the person behind the claim but she doe
s go that extra step whenever possible to ensure the claims are not jacked up.
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[ ]TurdFergusonTheThird 10 points 9 hours ago
This post motivated me to join reddit. Long time listener first time poster here
.. Thanks for the energy.
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[ ]TheRealFJ 15 points 6 hours ago
Dude please don't let the ass holes turn you away from Reddit. I get shit all th
e time for the smallest shit here but you need to know that those people are onl
y here to be mean...like the comments on YouTube.
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[ ]Sector_805 23 points 11 hours ago
As a female who has served, I love this and hope she reads this.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
Thank you for your service, ma'am
permalinkparent
[ ]Bm1324 13 points 12 hours ago
Wow, I hope you are able to find her. As someone with PTSD, I find that even a l
ot of well-meaning people don't know what to say or do when I'm triggered or in
a difficult place. They do their best to use methods that they've seen or say th
ings like "It'll be alright," which aren't much help at the moment and too dista
nt for me to connect to. I like that she was real and helped to put you back int
o reality by grounding you in the current place and time. I'll have to remember
this as well :)
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[ ]izzgo 24 points 13 hours ago
Upvoted so maybe she has a better chance to see this.
permalink
[ ]supersayanftw 5 points 12 hours ago
Please update, best of luck to you
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[ ]devoted2mercury 7 points 12 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she sees this; Reddit is awesome.
permalink
[ ]Clayra 7 points 11 hours ago
I know first hand how trying it can be getting treatment from the VA. I sometime
s find that it's easier to go to one of the help desks and ask them to walk you
to wherever you want to go. It won't get you put to the front of the line, but I
've found that things tend to move more smoothly.
Like so much of government work it's just a big good-ole-boys club, and there's
a good chance that anyone working there has to at the very least be friendly wit
h everyone else if they have any hopes of staying.
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[ ]BareKnuckleKitty 7 points 11 hours ago
This is so beautiful. Thank you for your service. I really hope she sees this!
permalink
[ ]petit_cochon 6 points 11 hours ago
Hey buddy, so glad this subreddit has helped you, and I hope it continues to hel
p you as you recover and heal.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 6 points 11 hours ago
OP, thank you for your service and sacrifice. Thanks also to the VA mystery woma
n for her service and sacrifice.
permalink
[ ]nerak1138 6 points 11 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she finds this, but even if she doesn't, she surely knows that s

he made a difference that day. Pay it forward, man. And keep your chin up. Lots
of love to you and all veterans.
permalink
[ ]GimmeMuchosMangos 8 points 11 hours ago
Good luck to you.
permalink
[ ]saraleecupcake 7 points 11 hours ago
Best of luck
permalink
[ ]theBIGnaudd 7 points 10 hours ago
Keep your head up brother! Look for a support group. The VA has resources and ca
n help find you a group to join. Stay strong! There are so many people out there
who care and want to help you out with your experiences.
permalink
[ ]rogue780 6 points 10 hours ago
/r/veterans has some good resources as well
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[ ]SuperChubbs 7 points 8 hours ago
This is really special. I served on a submarine for 4 years getting out in 2012
and I had a hard time readjusting. PTSD and depression combined with feeling lik
e I never related to many other veterans because I served in a different environ
ment then most.
I know it isn't easy to help someone going through PTSD or a panic attack but i'
ve had a few people really come through for me when I needed it and I don't know
where i'd be if they hadn't. Now my life is so much brighter. :) Thank you so m
uch for stepping up and helping that guy, people like you are wonderful.
permalink
[ ]somegaychick 2 points 4 hours ago
I cant even begin to imagine what its like. Thank you for your service. <3
permalinkparent
[ ]SuperChubbs 1 point 3 hours ago
Thank you so much, it used to make me uncomfortable hearing that but it's kinda
nice now that i'm doing so much better :) You made my night.
permalinkparent
[ ]kawaii-throwaway 6 points 8 hours ago
This entire post v was beautiful beginning to end.
My ptsd is considered in remission but I still wear patchouli pull to remind me
of my grandmother. I also have a lyric from one of my favorite songs on my wrist
. Seeing the message (be patient) itself keeps me grounded but being reminded of
the song takes me back to awe inspiring memories that snap me right out of an e
pisode.
It's a magical feeling when you finally find coping mechanisms that actually hel
p. Every moment before that feels like a constant waking nightmare, a landmine o
f triggers, but once you find what works, it's as if a weight is lifted from you
.
permalink
[ ]Milagro_chef 21 points 13 hours ago
I have PTSD. Her definition is exact correct. Thank you.
permalink
[ ]I_require_answers 10 points 10 hours ago
It's disappointing, and sadly unsurprising, that none of the professionals you w
orked with at the VA taught you some grounding skills, I mean that's really trau
ma therapy 101. It makes me sad our vets don't get better treatment than that. A
nyway, glad you guys found each other, and thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]baconchief 5 points 10 hours ago
Thank you for your service Sir! I hope you regain control of your life and can l
ive on happily! Much respect.
permalink
[ ]nocomfychairs 6 points 9 hours ago

Thank you both for your service.


permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]Hippiemamklp 5 points 8 hours ago
This made me tear up. I am sending huge cyber hugs to both of you! Sometimes hel
p comes in the most unlikely ways:-) Glad you are both getting help and I hope h
ealing.
permalink
[ ]ilokaners 6 points 7 hours ago
That's great. I wish you the best in healing. Sorry the VA doesn't help as much
as it should. I wish it would change but people like you and your friend are an
inspiration. Thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]squirtsmilk 5 points 7 hours ago
Thank you to our vets.. And to kind and compassionate people .... They make the
world safe for us all.
permalink
[ ]Noculum 7 points 6 hours ago
This warmed my heart. What a lovely story.
permalink
[ ]MonkeyNacho 7 points 6 hours ago
Thank you both for your service. I hope she, and the rest of us here on Reddit,
can help you find a road to inner peace.
permalink
[ ]Lots42 17 points 6 hours ago
You're on a woman-friendly sub-reddit that ended up on /r/all. That's why there'
s some negativity floating to the surface. /r/all is full of jackasses who can't
deal with the fact woman-friendly sub-reddits exist.
Or that women exist.
permalink
[ ]chocobodanger 8 points 7 hours ago
I have PTSD as well from rape. I have been diagnosed but the "system" here has f
ailed me by not getting me treatment needed (saw a counselor, put on depression/
anxiety meds, told I would have therapy and have not seen another counselor sinc
e?) You inadvertently helped me cope just by posting what she had told you.
permalink
[ ]txdahlia 10 points 6 hours ago
Unfortunately social media can bring out the dark side of those to impotent to s
how it in their daily lives because they fear repercussions, so they use an anon
ymous faceless version of themselves and pretend to be a bad ass. You are worthy
of happiness and peace after your great sacrifice. Don't let others put you dow
n.
permalink
[ ]dftexas165 5 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaay! The power of reddit. Glad you found her! I appreciate your service too b
uddy. I really hope you learn how to deal with you're issues brought on by your
experiences at war.
permalink
[ ]lotsofsippycups 4 points 9 hours ago

Aww I'm so glad you found her! :)


permalink
[ ]Ammoholic 3 points 8 hours ago
My dad is a doctor who treats ptsd at that va. Ask to see Dr goldstein. He will
help you for sure!
permalink
[ ]soitgoes182 4 points 8 hours ago
This is fucking beautiful!!
permalink
[ ]liesforliars 4 points 7 hours ago
I'm so happy you found her, man !! The internet can be wonderful..
permalink
[ ]dontdid 5 points 7 hours ago
This is so touching. Thank you both for your service and compassion. I hope you
find relief from what haunts you.
permalink
[ ]TheRainMonster 4 points 7 hours ago
Scotch tastes like peanut butter to you, too?
permalink
[ ]Soxbee 5 points 7 hours ago
It's amazing how one person can really make a difference! I'm so glad you found
her again!
My heart goes out to all of the veterans. I want to hug you all and offer any su
pport I can for what you've been through.
permalink
[ ]jschlik 3 points 6 hours ago*
Glad you found her. Thanks for the humbling and inspiring post.
I dont know if anyone has already mentioned this but Vital Warrior (vitalwarrior
.org) could be a great resource for those suffering from mental illness. I reall
y like what they are doing to help Vets.
permalink
[ ]_Rootshell_ 13 points 11 hours ago
Peanut butter scotch, meet bloody twat rag. A match made in heaven.
permalink
[ ]Upam 8 points 11 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection, if this gets enough upvotes and stays on the m
ain page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story. Best of luck to
the op
permalink
[ ]aazav 4 points 9 hours ago
Be good man, be good.
permalink
[ ]cannedbread1 3 points 2 hours ago
I am so glad that there was a lifeline out there for you at the perfect time. I
am so very sad for negative comments you are getting. Some people truly are arse
hats.
permalink
[ ]TabulaRasaNot [score hidden] 33 minutes ago
You folks with the negative comments to which OP refers, the ones pushing him ba
ck into himself, shame on you. You make me wish karma was real.
permalink
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 8 points 13 hours ago
Upboats
permalink
[ ]saralt 5 points 11 hours ago
And many more boats.
permalinkparent
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 3 points 7 hours ago
best part is they found each other :)
permalinkparent

[ ]theclassywino 4 points 7 hours ago


You're a hero, best of luck to you. Thank you for serving.
permalink
[ ]ArcheryHunter4Life 4 points 5 hours ago
I just wanted to say thank you for stepping up and posting this, it is so touchi
ng. It is incredibly brave of you and I'm sorry for all that you've been through
and for all of the rude people on this site. I will probably never experience w
hat you have been through. I hope you find yourself healed and happy in the futu
re. Most especially, thank you for your service.
permalink
[ ]Code_NY [score hidden] 1 hour ago
I'm sorry you've had to read through negative responses to this post. It's the d
ownside of open forum on the Internet. Just let them wash over you and concentra
te on the good ones, which are plentiful.
I hope things get better for you soon and I'm glad you've managed to reconnect w
ith her :)
permalink
[ ]CrackpotPatriot [score hidden] 34 minutes ago
Takes a lot of courage to reach out a thank you on the interwebz -especially red
dit. Well done. Thank yous are just too rare in this world.
permalink
[ ]NejKidd 6 points 12 hours ago
Can't wait to see the response on /r/bestof
permalink
[ ]Honkbag 10 points 11 hours ago
Not to be "that guy" in an otherwise supportive thread, but breathing/mindfulnes
s meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therapies for panic attack
s. That's science. that's why the counselors likely repeated it.
Im sorry you didnt feel heard, OP, and the psychological empathy With someone pe
rceived/identified as previously traumatized now wise and mentoring seems helpfu
l to you. Also, the act of smoking mimics controlled breathing which contrasts w
ith either the feeling of suffocation or hyperventilation in panic. The peer sim
ply stated things in a different way that resonated based on shared experience.
That also is important...oftentimes people in therapy perceive that therapists "
don't understand" what they've been through, and therefore arent able to help th
em because they havent been through "the same thing". Fact is, even two people i
n the same fight wont experience the situation exactly the same. But that's not
the point. The point is that In addition to wanting to feel understood, OP, you
needed to know you're not alone, and you needed to see someone actively coping a
nd recovering.
Do what works for you OP...but try not to throw the baby out with the bath water
. You may have valid reasons for anger at the VA (and what psychological role th
ey play in the trauma experience) but those techniques are indeed helpful with c
ontinued practice. Maybe it just needed to be explained differently or in more d
epth (other than "just breathe"...which may come across as dismissive). use all
the resources (however limited) you have at your disposal and let your therapst
know what makes you mad.
Good luck.
permalink
[ ]waitwuh 16 points 9 hours ago
breathing/mindfulness meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therap
ies for panic attacks
Perhaps the little trinket or "reminder" is more helpful to mindfulness than jus
t telling somebody to breath.
permalinkparent
[ ]notteoscura 9 points 9 hours ago
I think the clutch is that she could meet him on his level of breathing alone no
t being enough. Some people can breathe their way out of a panic attack. Others
can't. But yes, science does show breathing to be beneficial.
permalinkparent

[ ]3jt 10 points 6 hours ago


Mindful breathing is a grounding technique. However, therapists usually don't te
ll you that, and if they do they don't emphasize the "why". They just say to bre
athe. If you're hyperventilating, and someone says "breathe", that's fucking stu
pid. What is helpful is to focus on something other than the fact that you're ha
ving a panic attack. Ritual activities like cigarette smoking are helpful. So is
mindful breathing. It's the mindful part that helps.
permalinkparent
[ ]PurpleMentat [score hidden] 1 hour ago
So much this. Breathing without grounding is pointless. Grounding is the point o
f slow, deep, fully exhaled breathing.
permalinkparent
[ ]Launchfit 3 points 8 hours ago
You may not even see this comment, but I highly recommend you try using medical
marijuana to help treat your PTSD. I'm not here trying to persuade you to try a
drug you may not have any knowledge of, but in my experience, it has had a treme
ndous benefit to veterans with PTSD. My brother served in Iraq for 3 years and r
eturned home with severe PTSD. After countless weeks of taking drugs that had no
real benefit whatsoever, he tried medical marijuana. Ever since he indulged in
weed, his condition has improved substantially and his PTSD symptoms seem to les
sen every day. Again, weed isn't for everyone and I'm not sitting here telling y
ou it's a magical drug that will completely cure you. I'm simply suggesting some
thing that could be of great use to you and potentially benefit you. Best of luc
k, and thank you for serving our country.
permalink
[ ]persnipboobiees 3 points 8 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection.. if this gets enough upvotes + stays on the ma
in page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story: best of luck to
the op.
permalink
[ ]LaughingJackass 2 points 5 hours ago
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Wanted to say just this.
permalink
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ]LadyLavaLamp -4 points 10 hours ago
bloody_twat_rag and peanut_butter_scotch forever! I SHIP IT
permalink
[+] (13 children)
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 50 minutes ago
I am a vet as well and im going through similar issues but one of your comments
is a little out of line.
" She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good chance she had been raped
."
Thats B/S, sorry to be the negative one in the party.
Thats like saying "Every wife of a soldier that stayed near base cheated on thei
r husband while they were deployed because all women are scandalous."
Obviously not true,
Just because its the army doesn't make them rapist and baby killers.
Please understand im not harassing you. Thats the kind of blanket statement that
could set others off, like me and my response....
permalink
[ ]Commando_Girl [score hidden] 36 minutes ago
Ummmm. There's a big difference between "good chance" and "every".
You have issues if you really don't see the difference between the two.
permalinkparent
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 31 minutes ago
Right but my point is both statements are false.
permalinkparent
[ ] 9 hours ago

[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ] 7 hours ago
[+] (7 children)
[+] (15 children)
[ ] 2 hours ago
[ ]heatheranne[M] [score hidden] 1 hour ago
Be nice or go away.
permalink
[+] (2 children)
[+]Lonsdaleite comment score below threshold (1 child)
[+] (1 child)
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (6 children)
[+] (10 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+]nickbernstein comment score below threshold (2 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+] (2 children)
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Looking for a woman who helped me very much at the VA. Please read./r/all (self.
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submitted 14 hours ago * by peanut_butter_scotch
I am a male, and a combat veteran. I was doing well mentally for a while, under
the care of doctors and taking medication for PTSD and depression. One day, I we
nt to the VA to see my doctor and pick up meds. I was not doing well, a divorce
and financial problems had triggered my PTSD. And the VA was very crowded that d
ay. I was just trying to get meds at the pharmacy so I could go hone, but it was
so packed full of people and everyone was so rude and loud that I was having a
full on panic attack. I sat against a wall, shaking and in tears. Then, she stoo
d next to me.
She asked me when I got back. Fellow veterans always can tell when someone is fr
esh from the combat zone, and I know I appeared that way. I told her I had been
back for a few years but I was not doing well. And I just broke down. She listen
ed as I vented about the clusterfuck of rude people, and how I could not calm do
wn. I said, "I know, I am just supposed to fucking breathe, right?" That is what
the counselors at the VA always said. Just breathe, it will be okay.
"No." She said. "That is fucking pointless. Breathing will not help you right no
w. You are having a present reaction to a problem from the past. Right now, you
need to ground yourself and get out of the fear loop so you can calm down and be
gin to relax."
I asked, how do I do that? She told me about how everyone has something differen
t to ground them. Something comforting, something that triggers endorphins and h
appy memories. She said, she has a bottle of clove extract in her pocket, the sm
ell reminds her of her grandmother.
I began thinking of what I could use. She asked me if I wanted to go have a smok
e with her outside, and I did, so we went to the smoking gazebo. I asked her whe
re she learned these things that she was telling me about, no one ever understoo
d and gave me tips that helped.
Then she told me about reddit. And about a few subs that are primarily for women
, to discuss anything, and a lot of women talked about these coping skills to co
pe after rape and domestic violence. I felt sad suddenly, and thought of the rap
e problem in the military. She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good
chance she had been raped. As she spoke, I thought of how bad she had it. Not on
ly did she have PTSD like me and so many other men do, but she had PTSD from get
ting raped by the very men that were supposed to have her back.
She told me about the online community that helps her more than the stupid group
therapy we all had to go to. So I have lurked on reddit for a while. But I want
ed to reach out and thank her, but no idea what her username is. I know she freq
uents subs like this that are aimed at women, so I was hoping that maybe she wou
ld see this and would know how much it meant to me that she helped me. If anyone
here knows of a female veteran that frequents here, let me know.
Mysterious woman from the VA, thank you so much. You helped me find a path to he
aling. And I hope you find this.
Edit: I made this post then took a nap. I checked reddit on my phone and noticed
the very overwhelming response. Thank you, to everyone, for your support. And I
think I may have found her! My apologies for not respondingnto most of you, som
etimes I find even interacting with strangers online can be very anxiety inducin
g so I tend to steer clear, which is why I took so long to even make an account

on here. But I appreciate the kindness; I was not expecting to get this kind of
response. Thank you.
And final edit: well, found her. And, that is all. Being able to talk with her a
gain is great, and the positive response is nice, but the negative shit and the
insults being thrown and both her and I is very sad. I do not know why people mu
st hurt others when they are getting kind attention from others but I am told th
at is the way of Reddit. No, we will not be dating, she has a boyfriend which I
knew because he was there when I first met her. Tomorrow we are meeting for lunc
h, maybe she will post pics of it. I thought this would be fun and exciting but
with the negativity I am dreading even coming on reddit again. So, if she wants
to post pics tomorrow that will be up to her.
323 commentsshare
all 323 comments
sorted by: best
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1270 points 12 hours ago*
So, I passed this post by with an upvote and moved on. I was watching TV and it
clicked.
Was this at the VA in Loma Linda, CA?
And I appreciate the gold, guys, but please do not gild me anymore. I get the se
ntiment, but please, give it to someone else. I have no use for it.
permalink
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 518 points 11 hours ago
Yes! The VA in Loma Linda! Sorry I took so long to respond, I made this post, th
en took my meds and ended up passing out. Is this you?
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 141 points 11 hours ago
I hope so, this is one of the best things I've read in a while.
permalinkparent
[ ]joethomma 71 points 7 hours ago
It was all made possible by /u/bloody_twat_rag
permalinkparent
[ ]AcknowledgeTheLlama 17 points 6 hours ago
And her grandmothers cloves
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 117 points 11 hours ago
Oh. I am still new to this, I have only been lurking on reddit for a few weeks,
maybe. I did not know that.
permalink
[ ]tryingtomakeit9 74 points 11 hours ago
So...is it her?
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 210 points 10 hours ago
Yes it is her!
permalinkparent
[ ]bhamv 38 points 10 hours ago
Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]allygraceless 23 points 10 hours ago
This makes me so happy :)
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 22 points 8 hours ago
I love /u/bloody_twat_rag. She always has words of wisdom.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 10 points 7 hours ago
Is she well known on this site?
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 18 points 7 hours ago
I have no idea, but I find her name very memorable.
permalinkparent

[ ]A_Cylon_Raider 9 points 7 hours ago


Probably not, it's just a common thing people joke about here when really nice o
r helpful people have surprising or strange usernames.
permalinkparent
[ ]aazav 21 points 9 hours ago
Glad you found the woman who helped you.
Feel better and when you can, pass on the same help that she gave you.
Cheers.
permalinkparent
[ ]terriblecowgirl 12 points 10 hours ago
This is beautiful. I'm glad you found her!!! :)
permalinkparent
[ ]littlemissderpy 7 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]digitalyss 7 points 9 hours ago
Holy shit
permalinkparent
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 10 points 10 hours ago
They are apparently PMing right now, so... I think so?
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]your_ex_girlfriend- 40 points 11 hours ago
The MUA in me loves this cat eye and the TwoXer in me wants it to be her... even
if it is kind of weird to repost this album here...
permalink
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 40 points 10 hours ago
Tape. That is my secret here on the eye make up. Tape.
permalinkparent
[ ]Mojitana 6 points 8 hours ago
That's a really great tip. Thanks!
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 138 points 11 hours ago
Wow I look like shit in those pics.
permalink
[ ]LabGeeked 156 points 11 hours ago
Shaddap, you are lovely in every way.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 186 points 10 hours ago
Yes, she is as beautiful outside as she is on the inside.
permalinkparent
[ ]ilovegingermen 92 points 9 hours ago
peanut_butter_scotch and bloody_twat_rags - A Love Story
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 118 points 9 hours ago
Perhaps, but I am in a happy relationship with children. This could be the start
of a friendship, though.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 60 points 10 hours ago
Sorry, I honestly didn't think you looked bad and they were from the first post
with your face that I found. I was just trying to help u/peanut_butter_scotch, d
oesn't sound like he knows how to look at a users' profile.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 120 points 10 hours ago
Its OK, the pics are just not flattering because I posted them to MUA for CC. Me
and him are talking on fb messenger right now, I think he is a bit overwhelmed
and shocked by the response he got.
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 51 points 10 hours ago

Okay now that is just fantastic. Cheers to you for being the good person you nee
ded to be at the time you needed to be it. It sounds like you selflessly helped
a fellow human when it really mattered.
permalinkparent
[ ]HaloNinjee 12 points 9 hours ago
I <3 you.
I know of the typical subs like this but if you have some suggestions for more I
'm looking to show my wife around the friendlier side of reddit.
permalinkparent
[ ]itsme_eloise 16 points 9 hours ago
Hey there - what does your wife like? TwoX is good, /r/TrollXChromosomes is amaz
ing as is their brother sub /r/TrollYChromosome. I personally also like some sub
reddits aimed at improving my appearance that have a bit more of a feminine comm
unity like /r/MakeupAddiction, /r/SkincareAddiction and /r/HaircareScience. Depe
nding on what she likes, there's probably a subreddit for it!
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]cviwood 10 points 8 hours ago
I like the SFWPornNetwork. Also it is not porn, they are sub reddits with pretty
pretty pictures.
/r/AbandonedPorn has images like this old stairway.
Check the right columnfor related subreddits.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 5 points 9 hours ago
Twox, and if you look in the sidebar they have links for related subs. That is h
ow I navigate around.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 17 points 10 hours ago
So it is you? Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]marshmallowmermaid 7 points 9 hours ago
:) I'm glad you got to connect.
permalinkparent
[ ]KitsBeach 4 points 5 hours ago
I just want to say that I recognize your name from other lady-oriented subs and
I thought you always seemed like a swell gal. This post cements that!
permalinkparent
[ ]diestate_enter 3 points 8 hours ago
Ask him how he came up with his username.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 32 points 7 hours ago
Are you talking about me? This is the name my kid gave to my dog. I think it is
the name of a dog on a kid show. I'm not a creative person, and the name always
reminds me of my daughter and makes me smile.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]aazav 14 points 9 hours ago
Ahhh. You look fine.
Glad you took the time to help peanut_butter_scotch out.
You did good.
permalinkparent
[ ]6F6A9O9 16 points 9 hours ago
I think you're real pretty on the inside and on the outside. What we call "all t
he way pretty". You're all the way pretty.
permalinkparent
[ ]GreenlyRose 7 points 7 hours ago
Don't be silly, you look lovely in those pics! :-)
permalinkparent
[ ]Pandibabi 18 points 10 hours ago

Wow u r beautiful .. from another heterosexual female btw dont want to sound cre
epy ok
permalinkparent
[ ]screaming-trees 14 points 10 hours ago
wow i love the great attidfue in this subreddit 10/10
permalinkparent
[ ]darkshy 6 points 8 hours ago
I mean, it could be worse. You look fine. You could actually look like a bloody
twat rag though. That would be terrible.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
In my defense I am wearing a lot of make up in those well mostly eye make up, th
ey were posted to makeupaddiction
permalinkparent
[ ]PushitClaw -2 points 6 hours ago
Just breathe...
permalinkparent
[ ]houseofbacon 12 points 11 hours ago
We must know if its a match. The suspense is thicker than my backup jar of peanu
t butter.
permalinkparent
[ ]Nozphexezora 10 points 11 hours ago
WooOOOooo. Lucky you! I've had a similar situation once, but about drug addictio
n. She never came back.
permalinkparent
[ ]BloodGuts_AngelCake 10 points 9 hours ago
I don't know why but this brought a tear to my eye. It's nice to see there are k
ind people in this world.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ask_Me_What_Love_Is 6 points 6 hours ago
Hey pbs. I'm not her nor a veteran but I've had my fair share of woes and work i
n the loma Linda area (redlands) and if you ever need someone to catch a smoke o
r talk with, grab a beer or lunch with I am here. Just pm me and let me know.
permalinkparent
[ ]kaleybrennan 4 points 8 hours ago
hey idk if you'll see this but you should do a full tutorial of how you did that
makeup. and show what kind you use <3
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 13 points 7 hours ago
I think this was directed at the wrong person.
permalinkparent
[ ]Call_me_Kelly [score hidden] 1 hour ago
If there is a vet center near you I highly recommend checking them out.
http://www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
They specialize in ptsd and reintigration. When the VA became impossible for me
to go to because the noise, the people, and many bad experiences caused me to ha
ve panic attacks any time I entered I began going to the vet center for ptsd hel
p instead.
The atmosphere at my local vet center was awesome. The counselor I saw also help
ed me by creating scripts of what I needed to say to my pdoc and would message h
er on my behalf occasionally.
Also I began teleconference appointments with my va pdoc from a local outpatient
VA clinic. I didn't have the stress of going back into the VA and it allowed me
to tweak and adjust my meds when needed.
If you have nightmares, talk to a pdoc about prazosin. It helps reduce the whole
waking up flooded with adrenalin from nightmares thing. http://www.webmd.com/ato-z-guides/prazosin-for-ptsd
Also, the va prescribed me Xanax for anxiety for two years. If it's prescribed l
ong term for you talk to your doc about longterm side effects. I became full blo
wn agorophobic on it and it took away a year of my life. Imagine my anger when I

learner the va was supposed to have moved away from prescribing it long term du
e to terrible side effects years BEFORE they prescribed it to me.
/r/veterans is a pretty cool subreddit if you've never been.
I so glad someone was able to give you a stepping stone towards healing. I keep
pictures of my kids in my wallet to help ground me during panic attacks. I also
highly recommend changing the immediate surroundings. Leave the room or building
when one starts and it can sometimes help reduce the damage.
Kelly
permalinkparent
[ ]lawdudette -2 points 6 hours ago
/r/bestof!!!!!!
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 12 points 6 hours ago
I hope not I can not handle the harassment I'm not logging in again this is it I
am done
permalinkparent
[ ]PM_ME_TITS_MLADY 12 points 4 hours ago
Sigh, the internet is for everyone. But that's precisely the reason why sometime
s it's not for everyone.
Reddit is one of those places.
I wish you all the best, focus on the positive, always. It'll help at times, I p
romise.
permalinkparent
[ ]CochinBrahmaLover 2 points 3 hours ago
You can delete your account.
Go to preferences and there's an option to delete.
permalinkparent
[+] (1 child)
[ ]Notasurgeon 30 points 11 hours ago
Hey, I was working there today. What a coincidence.
permalinkparent
[ ]jonnyk354 -4 points 6 hours ago
Can you confirm that this event occurred?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Read the post. Did not say it happened today. It happened at the beginning of th
e month.
permalinkparent
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (4 children)
[ ]LoCHiF 22 points 10 hours ago
Gold is largely a donation to reddit. No-one really uses it.
permalinkparent
[ ]DarlinUntitled18 7 points 5 hours ago
I like to think of it somewhat symbolically, as in "Someone made a donation to R
eddit in your name!" sort of like, this comment, this person, or this content is
what I want to see on Reddit. People guild her because she is the kind of perso
n they want their user base to be, and they're proud to use the same website as
her.
permalinkparent
[ ]LoCHiF 3 points 2 hours ago
Agreed. It's a combination of a super emphatic upvote and the donation to reddit
as a sort of "yay reddit!" gesture.
permalinkparent
[ ]DiffidentDissident 9 points 10 hours ago
Hey, thanks for looking out for OP. I think that makes you pretty great.
permalinkparent
[ ]Drachte 17 points 11 hours ago
Op pls
permalinkparent
[ ]rightioushippie 7 points 8 hours ago

so what were the subreddits that helped you find coping mechanisms?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 11 points 8 hours ago
Twox, actually. I had made a post a while ago about being trigger by a video I s
aw of animal abuse that triggered flashbacks from sexual abuse in my childhood a
nd a lot of people gave me grounding tips.
permalinkparent
[ ]King_Penguin_IV [score hidden] 49 minutes ago
What grounding tips helped you the most?
permalinkparent
[ ]wibblywobblychilango 5 points 10 hours ago
Holy shit, things like this are why I love reddit so much! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]monkeiboi 8 points 10 hours ago
ignore her! Everyone gild her!
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[ ]MultiversEngineer 3 points 2 hours ago
Air Force vet here. I have PTSD with panic disorder.
This post is amazing to me. I can appreciate anyone who helps their fellow vets.
I am still in the process of gaining control over my own panic problems. Any ad
vice would be greatly appreciated.
PS: I am currently in school and was also diagnosed with ADD recently. The last
two years have just been a wreck.
permalinkparent
[ ]Defeat 3 points 4 hours ago
Hey there. If it makes you feel better: reddit runs very few ads. Criminally few
. This site was hemorrhaging money, and it probably still is. A few years ago (h
onestly I can't remember reddit time just sort of blurs together for me) reddit
was plagued by serve issues. Nothing would work or load. Then some genius invent
ed reddit gold. Or maybe it was mold first. Either way reddit was saved. Gold is
a donation more to the site we all mooch off of, and is definitely not a reward
for you being amazing. Also panic attacks fucking suck so thank you for helping
that guy out .
permalinkparent
[ ]MrFeles [score hidden] 58 minutes ago
Goddamnit. Read story, imagine some sort of fancy saint. Man calls out to the cr
owd, will she reveal herself?
Blood twat rag emerges.
What a strange mixture of emotions.
Also slightly relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2CWsqGFgkA
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey -2 points 7 hours ago
Weird, I guess you live in Riverside? What are the odds you would live in the sa
me county as myself.
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[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Well, seeing that the Loma Linda VA is used by both Riverside and San Bernardino
Counties, and considering how vast both of those counties are, plus people from
other counties who use that VA because they do not want to go to the others in
LA Jolla or Long Beach due to distance or whatever reasons, it is not so unlikel
y.
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[ ]dubyawinfrey 4 points 6 hours ago
Well, even though I'm technically a veteran now, I've never had a reason to visi
t the VA and fortunately do not have any problems with PTSD or anything of that
nature. (Depression, but nothing related to my time in).
Plus, I just moved here, so I thought that was interesting.
Either way, best of luck to you. I'm sorry your time in had some truly shitty mo
ments, for lack of a better phrase. I'm sure you're aware, but most of us are ag
ainst that shit. At least, I hope.

permalinkparent
[+]apologies-in-advance comment score below threshold (0 children)
[ ]Walkingonadream7 -1 points 3 hours ago
You can use it to buy some wax for your cross
permalinkparent
[+] (6 children)
[ ]RediscoveredIllusion 53 points 12 hours ago
I have PTSD as well, from abuse situations like so many others here. I am so gla
d someone came along to help you cope. I had forgotten about grounding myself th
is way and reading your post for her... Well, whomever she is, if she finds this
, thank you from me as well.
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[ ]Ivyleaguehandjob 185 points 13 hours ago
My father is a Korean War vet. We sat watching TV and the (new) Wounded Warrior
Project donation commercial comes on and my dad gets very angry. These commercia
ls are on par if not emotionally worse than the starving children and beaten dog
commercials.
We have done something very wrong to our veterans. There should be no need for c
harities like this. NO charities targeting veterans in need of food, clothing, s
helter, education, job training and more.
WWP Purpose:
To raise awareness and enlist the public's aid for the needs of injured service
members.
My father says "NO, that's our governments job, our employer!"
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[ ]athingz 39 points 11 hours ago*
job training and more.
As an Iraq veteran that can't even seem to get a job interview at Walmart, I'm s
tarting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm not sure I have PTSD from my service, but about 8 years later when I finally
went in to a sliding scale clinic for depression symptoms and inability to conc
entrate/study (failing school), they called it "survivor's guilt". I wish it was
my truck that got hit. I volunteered for every convoy after that. Never heard o
f survivor's guilt until I was out for 8 years.
Never used the VA before. Not even sure where to start or where they're located.
I just learned a couple months ago you don't have to be a 20 year vet or have a
disability % to qualify, apparently. All third-hand knowledge. I thought you co
uld only use them for stuff that happened while in, and there's no proof of anyt
hing health related on military record. I've seen my folder right before ETS.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 39 points 10 hours ago
You can use the VA for medical care, even if you do not have a disability claim.
You just need to have served 180 days active service. Go to a local VA with you
r 214 and fill out some paperwork, you can usually be seen right away.
permalinkparent
[ ]panthera213 8 points 9 hours ago
Does your VA offer the chance to look at having service animals? My boyfriend is
in the CF and some of the guys here have gotten service animals to help them wi
th their PTSD. I know that it's been a comfort to them, or at least maybe anothe
r avenue to explore to help you out. Hope you are feeling better.
permalinkparent
[ ]IT_is_not_all_I_am 10 points 8 hours ago
Yeah, I know a guy that breeds and trains dogs for Rebuilding Warriors. I know h
e's trained them for folks with PTSD, but no idea how that organization selects
recipients. Might be worth looking into.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
Or, find someone that gets rescue dogs and trains them instead of dogs that were
bred just for.
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[ ]asianfromamerica 1 point 6 hours ago


SO ARE YOU THE WOMAN THAT HELPED THIS MAN? You are amazing I hope you realize th
at.
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[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1 point 5 hours ago
No. I'm not. I'm average at best.
permalinkparent
[ ]darkangl187 7 points 8 hours ago
the VA is for those who served and discharged honorably, service connection or n
ot. please check them out it sounds like you need to consider service connection
for your survivors guilt.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 7 points 8 hours ago
Not just an honorable discharge. As long as you did not receive a dishonorable.
General, GUH, etc are accepted.
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[ ]Yeynna 4 points 6 hours ago
I'm starting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's the same for the unemployed, disable
d, and homeless who aren't veterans in the US (or anywhere else, I'm not America
n), I don't know what to say about everything else you faced because I can't ima
gine what living through it is like, but I want to say that no matter how much i
t seems like if you were suffering in the "right" way people would care more it'
s not true, it seems that way for everyone, but we're not alone in the facing th
is, and it's not your fault people are dismissing and scornful.
permalinkparent
[ ]Lots42 3 points 5 hours ago
www.211.org has lots of resourves for mental, physical and related help. Easy to
find lots and lots of stuff.
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[ ]preflop 3 points 2 hours ago
Hours late, but if you're having trouble getting things arranged, put in a call
to your local congressional office. You'll probably be assigned to a constituent
casework person and they'll put you in touch with who you need to talk to and w
here you need to go.
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[ ]mmm_toasty 19 points 12 hours ago
Hopefully at some point in the future the laws and regulations regarding providi
ng aid of all kinds to veterans in need will be fixed. For now though, as ways o
f acquiring the funding that the government fails to provide, I think that they
serve an important purpose.
permalinkparent
[ ]pmmesomeavocado 16 points 12 hours ago
The problem is that to do that, you need to raise taxes. And if you do that, you
're a freedom hating commie.
permalinkparent
[ ]bouncer4819 19 points 11 hours ago
Or we could just cut from our extremely overfunded defense budget, and reallocat
e those funds to actually help our vets
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[ ]vuhleeitee 0 points 4 hours ago
Yes. We should fire a whole bunch of people that are a few years away from retir
ement anyway. That makes complete sense.
You do realize that cutting the defense budget just means that it will create mo
re veterans who are at a loss for a stable source of income.
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[ ]tiehunter 3 points 4 hours ago
Or... Instead of buying jets that the military neither needs nor wants, we could
spend that money on veterans.
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[ ]athennna 8 points 11 hours ago


Or you need to better budget the tax revenue you already have.
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[ ]QuelqueChoseRose 0 points 2 hours ago
My understanding is that the V.A.'s fairly well-funded, nowadays. Relative to th
e rest of the federal government, at least. (Its funding's increased in years wh
en even Defense's was cut.) The problem's entirely administrative. It's a bureau
cratic nightmare, and no one's been able to solve it.
I think if a presidential candidate ran on a platform of simply making the feder
al government more efficient, they'd win easily. All the bickering about taxes a
nd spending, and we're still incredibly bad at doing what we want with the money
we tax and spend.
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[ ]hyene 9 points 11 hours ago
no, we don't need to raise taxes. we need to move from mathematically-illogical
capitalism to a scientifically-managed resource-based economy.
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[ ]Ruste 1 point 10 hours ago
Honestly curious, why should the government ever provide a service that is alrea
dy provided for by charities. Why force everyone to pay for something that peopl
e already give willingly to assuming that they provide enough. (I know they don'
t but according to OP there should be NO need for these charities as if it shoul
d be taken care of by the government regardless.)
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[ ]ggqq 7 points 10 hours ago
because there is a fine line we need to skate as a society between socialism and
capitalism to keep the employable people happy. If the government paid for ever
ything, we'd have incredibly high tax. This discourages people from working too
hard with tax brackets so you end up with nobody earning that much and an even h
igher tax because less people earn lots. What we need to do is convince rich peo
ple to be charitable (or rather, just tell rich people to give their money away
for free. I just solved the economic crisis. boom. you're welcome)
permalinkparent
[ ]Otto_Lidenbrock 6 points 9 hours ago
Except that tax brackets have never stopped anyone from making more money. Compl
ain about it, sure... But they still take the raise. It's a patently false argum
ent.
permalinkparent
[ ]undsowbe 10 points 8 hours ago
Your father as a Korean War Veteran would not qualify for the WWP program. Only
post 9/11 Vets qualify. Even at the VA, there are programs that my Vietnam-era h
usband does not qualify for (acupuncture being the most recent). The docs there
want the prestige and kudos that comes from treating recent Vets. It's the same
with the WWP. They know they can rake in the bucks if they play on public sentim
ent for post 9/11 Vets.
Never before have Veterans been excluded from programs based on the era they ser
ved in, until now.
TLDR: Fuck the WWP
permalinkparent
[ ]DrTypo 8 points 7 hours ago
WWP is also something that is wrong. Google wounded warrior project scam, and lo
ok at how much of the money that they collect actually goes to vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 160 points 14 hours ago
That is very sweet and I hope she sees this too! Best of luck on your journey an
d I am so sorry that as a nation we do so little for you and the other veterans.
Our system (what parts are not a clusterfuck) is frustrating at best and I am g
lad you find the courage every day to get up and navigate the system and your sy
mptoms, rather than letting the circumstances win. Hope she sees this! :)
permalink

[ ]mantiskiller 18 points 13 hours ago


I have very little knowledge of what the opportunities available for veterans bu
t always hear that it is inadequate. What improvements do you think the governme
nt could make?
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 29 points 12 hours ago
Well, (I'm assuming you are in the US) the system is just not streamlined and po
orly funded. You go for mental health help, there is no extra or quick he for pe
ople coming in while in crisis. Most get the same wait time as others. You go, y
ou sign up, and then you wait. Some people 6-8 weeks to be seen for someone who
sees you for 10 minutes to determine the meds you need and whether or not therap
y will help. Never mind med changes, trying to get refills. And you can forget h
ousing if you are homeless. Most VA houses/shelters are 30-50 beds and have wait
ing lists a mile long. We have homeless populations of mentally ill veterans who
, with the right meds and a few months of meals and a roof over their head would
be able to work some and get back on their feet. It's just a very broken, poorl
y funded, slow moving system and we as a country should be ashamed of ourselves.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster -3 points 12 hours ago
And you can forget housing if you are homeless.
That's why there is a pension program to give money to those that need it.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 16 points 12 hours ago
Yeah, but in some cases the money isn't enough or the application process is too
long and they are homeless before they get the money. Most homeless vets get mo
ney, its just not enough to live on and they aren't able to hold a job because t
hey can't get enough services to help their PTSD and resulting addictions. I was
a case worker for a veterans program for a year. I only lasted a year. It was t
he worst. The suicide rates, filling out paper work and seeing them be desperate
and only being able to say, 'well, I submitted it. we just have to wait.', not
having housing for them so at 5pm after hours of calling they were back out to w
ander another night on the streets. Ugh, I felt awful.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 21 points 12 hours ago
The pension program is only for vets with wartime service. Peacetime vets don't
have this fallback. Additionally, pension is only for those determined disabled.
There are some newer programs to combat homelessness for vets, but they depend
on location.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster 2 points 11 hours ago*
I'm just saying there is something, many people make it sound like there is no e
ffort at all. Homeless cases are a high priority. You sound like a VSR or VSO?
oh, ok, downvote me for thinking somebody sounds incredibly knowledgeable.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 12 points 11 hours ago
No. I'm a Legal Aid attorney who specializes in vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster 5 points 11 hours ago
Awesome. Nice to meet you.
permalinkparent
[ ]Sulde 37 points 12 hours ago
upvote for visibility.
and dude: when you are going through hell, keep on going. Never never never give
up.
permalink
[ ]endergrrl 36 points 12 hours ago
Female army vet here, though not the one you're looking for. Which VAMC were you
at? I'm glad someone helped you through that and that you found a safe and help
ful space here.
permalink

[ ]crouchtouchpause 32 points 12 hours ago


This is a beautiful post. All I can offer is that it does get better, and that a
nyone capable of writing such an emotionally honest post has already crossed mor
e bridges that most manage in a lifetime.
I hope she reads what you've written, but even if she doesn't you should know th
at many people have understood the sentiment and been moved by it.
permalink
[ ]mablesyrup 9 points 11 hours ago
Posts like this prove why today is the best monday of the year!
permalinkparent
[ ]Tonyman457 12 points 9 hours ago
This post has everything. The tragedy. The cry for help. The rocky montage at th
e VA where everything gets slightly better, but he looses his mentor somewhere.
Then, BAM! they rekindle!
The cherry on top is that her fuckin reddit ID is Bloody Twat Rag. Hits you with
the feels, then brings you back with some good ol' fashioned dark humor.
Most novels aren't this good.
permalinkparent
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
I read this in Stefon's voice :)
permalinkparent
[ ]Edrondol 33 points 6 hours ago
Marine vet here. No PTSD unless you count flashbacks of sitting in a storeroom f
or hours. But I wanted to pop in and say don't sweat the haters. Most of them ar
e just stupid kids trying to be edgy. The rest are assholes because they are ano
nymous and it's how they get their jollies. Just like the military, reddit has g
ood people and reddit has dicks. Unlike the military, you can completely ignore
the dicks here.
Don't know what branch you were in (I didn't read through everything), but I'm g
iving you a big Semper Fi anyway. Stay strong, brother.
permalink
[ ]spookyxskepticism 16 points 11 hours ago
Aaaaand I'm in tears. I'm so glad she was able to help you. Here's an upvote. Ho
pefully with enough of these she'll take notice and see your post! I'm so glad t
hat your experience has helped you on to the path of healing. Thank you so much
for your service <3
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[ ]scarletdrive 3 points 9 hours ago
I needed a good cry today. Bless this post.
permalinkparent
[ ]faeriechyld 16 points 12 hours ago
I hope she gets your message of thanks even if she wants to remain anonymous. An
d I really really hope you start feeling better too. I wish I could do more than
offer internet hugs!
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[ ]schweppesmeoffmyfeet 32 points 13 hours ago
This is why I love Reddit.
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[ ]mightyflynn 14 points 12 hours ago
This is beautiful. I hope you are finding your ground.
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[ ]anniebme 13 points 11 hours ago
Hi friend! I find having a smooth stone in my pocket helps. The stone reminds me
of chilling next to a river. I hope you find your mini-reminder, too!
I have found EMDR therapy rough to go through but helpful to process thoughts an
d memories. It may help you, too. It won't be easy but neither is what you are c
urrently dealing with.
permalink
[ ]BaronessUnderboob 11 points 8 hours ago
I use a piece of hematite sometimes, the weight feels nice in my hands. Though I

don't subscribe to that healing crystals stuff, I just like shiny rocks.
permalinkparent
[ ]anniebme 8 points 8 hours ago
Sounds like a great reminder to just be! Heavy enough to remind, light enough to
carry! Hematite just looks cool, too.
permalinkparent
[ ]DancingHeel 12 points 9 hours ago
I'm not her, but reading this has made me smile. I get down about working at VA
a lot - the bureaucracy and paperwork (and the sexual harassment from older Vets
) are really pushing me out the door. But I like the people I work with, and I k
now they really care about the wellbeing of Veterans. This is a great example of
that. Whether she was an employee or just a fellow Vet receiving services, ther
e are definitely good people in that crazy system.
To anyone else out there struggling with PTSD, other mental health concerns, or
service-related health issues - there is hope. Even when the VA gets horrible pr
ess, even when claims are backlogged - there are good people who want to help an
d are well-equipped to do so. If you haven't sought any help at the VA but you m
ight qualify for services, it's worth a shot. Don't give up. Every VA is, unfort
unately, very different in terms of quality. Shop around if you need to. It real
ly sucks that that's the way it is, because Veterans deserve better care. Govern
ment funding of Veteran services is extremely poor. But I have seen the efforts
of good people help change the system, slowly, from the inside.
permalink
[ ]paulb02 9 points 10 hours ago
This is a great story and I am happy you were able to find one of the good peopl
e at the VA. There is a lot of VA bashing and I understand it is not the best si
tuation for veterans, but some people at the VA do truly care about the Veterans
and their treatment and benefits. While my wife was not a vet herself, she work
s in the Comp and Pension section and deals primarily with the veterans via the
claims process. The Veterans rarely know the person behind the claim but she doe
s go that extra step whenever possible to ensure the claims are not jacked up.
permalink
[ ]TurdFergusonTheThird 10 points 9 hours ago
This post motivated me to join reddit. Long time listener first time poster here
.. Thanks for the energy.
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[ ]TheRealFJ 15 points 6 hours ago
Dude please don't let the ass holes turn you away from Reddit. I get shit all th
e time for the smallest shit here but you need to know that those people are onl
y here to be mean...like the comments on YouTube.
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[ ]Sector_805 23 points 11 hours ago
As a female who has served, I love this and hope she reads this.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
Thank you for your service, ma'am
permalinkparent
[ ]Bm1324 13 points 12 hours ago
Wow, I hope you are able to find her. As someone with PTSD, I find that even a l
ot of well-meaning people don't know what to say or do when I'm triggered or in
a difficult place. They do their best to use methods that they've seen or say th
ings like "It'll be alright," which aren't much help at the moment and too dista
nt for me to connect to. I like that she was real and helped to put you back int
o reality by grounding you in the current place and time. I'll have to remember
this as well :)
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[ ]izzgo 24 points 13 hours ago
Upvoted so maybe she has a better chance to see this.
permalink
[ ]supersayanftw 5 points 12 hours ago

Please update, best of luck to you


permalink
[ ]devoted2mercury 7 points 12 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she sees this; Reddit is awesome.
permalink
[ ]Clayra 7 points 11 hours ago
I know first hand how trying it can be getting treatment from the VA. I sometime
s find that it's easier to go to one of the help desks and ask them to walk you
to wherever you want to go. It won't get you put to the front of the line, but I
've found that things tend to move more smoothly.
Like so much of government work it's just a big good-ole-boys club, and there's
a good chance that anyone working there has to at the very least be friendly wit
h everyone else if they have any hopes of staying.
permalink
[ ]BareKnuckleKitty 7 points 11 hours ago
This is so beautiful. Thank you for your service. I really hope she sees this!
permalink
[ ]petit_cochon 6 points 11 hours ago
Hey buddy, so glad this subreddit has helped you, and I hope it continues to hel
p you as you recover and heal.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 6 points 11 hours ago
OP, thank you for your service and sacrifice. Thanks also to the VA mystery woma
n for her service and sacrifice.
permalink
[ ]nerak1138 6 points 11 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she finds this, but even if she doesn't, she surely knows that s
he made a difference that day. Pay it forward, man. And keep your chin up. Lots
of love to you and all veterans.
permalink
[ ]GimmeMuchosMangos 8 points 11 hours ago
Good luck to you.
permalink
[ ]saraleecupcake 7 points 11 hours ago
Best of luck
permalink
[ ]theBIGnaudd 7 points 10 hours ago
Keep your head up brother! Look for a support group. The VA has resources and ca
n help find you a group to join. Stay strong! There are so many people out there
who care and want to help you out with your experiences.
permalink
[ ]rogue780 6 points 10 hours ago
/r/veterans has some good resources as well
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[ ]SuperChubbs 7 points 8 hours ago
This is really special. I served on a submarine for 4 years getting out in 2012
and I had a hard time readjusting. PTSD and depression combined with feeling lik
e I never related to many other veterans because I served in a different environ
ment then most.
I know it isn't easy to help someone going through PTSD or a panic attack but i'
ve had a few people really come through for me when I needed it and I don't know
where i'd be if they hadn't. Now my life is so much brighter. :) Thank you so m
uch for stepping up and helping that guy, people like you are wonderful.
permalink
[ ]somegaychick 2 points 4 hours ago
I cant even begin to imagine what its like. Thank you for your service. <3
permalinkparent
[ ]SuperChubbs 1 point 3 hours ago
Thank you so much, it used to make me uncomfortable hearing that but it's kinda
nice now that i'm doing so much better :) You made my night.

permalinkparent
[ ]kawaii-throwaway 6 points 8 hours ago
This entire post v was beautiful beginning to end.
My ptsd is considered in remission but I still wear patchouli pull to remind me
of my grandmother. I also have a lyric from one of my favorite songs on my wrist
. Seeing the message (be patient) itself keeps me grounded but being reminded of
the song takes me back to awe inspiring memories that snap me right out of an e
pisode.
It's a magical feeling when you finally find coping mechanisms that actually hel
p. Every moment before that feels like a constant waking nightmare, a landmine o
f triggers, but once you find what works, it's as if a weight is lifted from you
.
permalink
[ ]Milagro_chef 21 points 13 hours ago
I have PTSD. Her definition is exact correct. Thank you.
permalink
[ ]I_require_answers 10 points 10 hours ago
It's disappointing, and sadly unsurprising, that none of the professionals you w
orked with at the VA taught you some grounding skills, I mean that's really trau
ma therapy 101. It makes me sad our vets don't get better treatment than that. A
nyway, glad you guys found each other, and thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]baconchief 5 points 10 hours ago
Thank you for your service Sir! I hope you regain control of your life and can l
ive on happily! Much respect.
permalink
[ ]nocomfychairs 6 points 9 hours ago
Thank you both for your service.
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]Hippiemamklp 5 points 8 hours ago
This made me tear up. I am sending huge cyber hugs to both of you! Sometimes hel
p comes in the most unlikely ways:-) Glad you are both getting help and I hope h
ealing.
permalink
[ ]ilokaners 6 points 7 hours ago
That's great. I wish you the best in healing. Sorry the VA doesn't help as much
as it should. I wish it would change but people like you and your friend are an
inspiration. Thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]squirtsmilk 5 points 7 hours ago
Thank you to our vets.. And to kind and compassionate people .... They make the
world safe for us all.
permalink
[ ]Noculum 7 points 6 hours ago
This warmed my heart. What a lovely story.
permalink
[ ]MonkeyNacho 7 points 6 hours ago
Thank you both for your service. I hope she, and the rest of us here on Reddit,

can help you find a road to inner peace.


permalink
[ ]Lots42 17 points 6 hours ago
You're on a woman-friendly sub-reddit that ended up on /r/all. That's why there'
s some negativity floating to the surface. /r/all is full of jackasses who can't
deal with the fact woman-friendly sub-reddits exist.
Or that women exist.
permalink
[ ]chocobodanger 8 points 7 hours ago
I have PTSD as well from rape. I have been diagnosed but the "system" here has f
ailed me by not getting me treatment needed (saw a counselor, put on depression/
anxiety meds, told I would have therapy and have not seen another counselor sinc
e?) You inadvertently helped me cope just by posting what she had told you.
permalink
[ ]txdahlia 10 points 6 hours ago
Unfortunately social media can bring out the dark side of those to impotent to s
how it in their daily lives because they fear repercussions, so they use an anon
ymous faceless version of themselves and pretend to be a bad ass. You are worthy
of happiness and peace after your great sacrifice. Don't let others put you dow
n.
permalink
[ ]dftexas165 5 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaay! The power of reddit. Glad you found her! I appreciate your service too b
uddy. I really hope you learn how to deal with you're issues brought on by your
experiences at war.
permalink
[ ]lotsofsippycups 4 points 9 hours ago
Aww I'm so glad you found her! :)
permalink
[ ]Ammoholic 3 points 8 hours ago
My dad is a doctor who treats ptsd at that va. Ask to see Dr goldstein. He will
help you for sure!
permalink
[ ]soitgoes182 4 points 8 hours ago
This is fucking beautiful!!
permalink
[ ]liesforliars 4 points 7 hours ago
I'm so happy you found her, man !! The internet can be wonderful..
permalink
[ ]dontdid 5 points 7 hours ago
This is so touching. Thank you both for your service and compassion. I hope you
find relief from what haunts you.
permalink
[ ]TheRainMonster 4 points 7 hours ago
Scotch tastes like peanut butter to you, too?
permalink
[ ]Soxbee 5 points 7 hours ago
It's amazing how one person can really make a difference! I'm so glad you found
her again!
My heart goes out to all of the veterans. I want to hug you all and offer any su
pport I can for what you've been through.
permalink
[ ]jschlik 3 points 6 hours ago*
Glad you found her. Thanks for the humbling and inspiring post.
I dont know if anyone has already mentioned this but Vital Warrior (vitalwarrior
.org) could be a great resource for those suffering from mental illness. I reall
y like what they are doing to help Vets.
permalink
[ ]_Rootshell_ 13 points 11 hours ago
Peanut butter scotch, meet bloody twat rag. A match made in heaven.

permalink
[ ]Upam 8 points 11 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection, if this gets enough upvotes and stays on the m
ain page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story. Best of luck to
the op
permalink
[ ]aazav 4 points 9 hours ago
Be good man, be good.
permalink
[ ]cannedbread1 3 points 2 hours ago
I am so glad that there was a lifeline out there for you at the perfect time. I
am so very sad for negative comments you are getting. Some people truly are arse
hats.
permalink
[ ]TabulaRasaNot [score hidden] 33 minutes ago
You folks with the negative comments to which OP refers, the ones pushing him ba
ck into himself, shame on you. You make me wish karma was real.
permalink
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 8 points 13 hours ago
Upboats
permalink
[ ]saralt 5 points 11 hours ago
And many more boats.
permalinkparent
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 3 points 7 hours ago
best part is they found each other :)
permalinkparent
[ ]theclassywino 4 points 7 hours ago
You're a hero, best of luck to you. Thank you for serving.
permalink
[ ]ArcheryHunter4Life 4 points 5 hours ago
I just wanted to say thank you for stepping up and posting this, it is so touchi
ng. It is incredibly brave of you and I'm sorry for all that you've been through
and for all of the rude people on this site. I will probably never experience w
hat you have been through. I hope you find yourself healed and happy in the futu
re. Most especially, thank you for your service.
permalink
[ ]Code_NY [score hidden] 1 hour ago
I'm sorry you've had to read through negative responses to this post. It's the d
ownside of open forum on the Internet. Just let them wash over you and concentra
te on the good ones, which are plentiful.
I hope things get better for you soon and I'm glad you've managed to reconnect w
ith her :)
permalink
[ ]CrackpotPatriot [score hidden] 34 minutes ago
Takes a lot of courage to reach out a thank you on the interwebz -especially red
dit. Well done. Thank yous are just too rare in this world.
permalink
[ ]NejKidd 6 points 12 hours ago
Can't wait to see the response on /r/bestof
permalink
[ ]Honkbag 10 points 11 hours ago
Not to be "that guy" in an otherwise supportive thread, but breathing/mindfulnes
s meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therapies for panic attack
s. That's science. that's why the counselors likely repeated it.
Im sorry you didnt feel heard, OP, and the psychological empathy With someone pe
rceived/identified as previously traumatized now wise and mentoring seems helpfu
l to you. Also, the act of smoking mimics controlled breathing which contrasts w
ith either the feeling of suffocation or hyperventilation in panic. The peer sim
ply stated things in a different way that resonated based on shared experience.

That also is important...oftentimes people in therapy perceive that therapists "


don't understand" what they've been through, and therefore arent able to help th
em because they havent been through "the same thing". Fact is, even two people i
n the same fight wont experience the situation exactly the same. But that's not
the point. The point is that In addition to wanting to feel understood, OP, you
needed to know you're not alone, and you needed to see someone actively coping a
nd recovering.
Do what works for you OP...but try not to throw the baby out with the bath water
. You may have valid reasons for anger at the VA (and what psychological role th
ey play in the trauma experience) but those techniques are indeed helpful with c
ontinued practice. Maybe it just needed to be explained differently or in more d
epth (other than "just breathe"...which may come across as dismissive). use all
the resources (however limited) you have at your disposal and let your therapst
know what makes you mad.
Good luck.
permalink
[ ]waitwuh 16 points 9 hours ago
breathing/mindfulness meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therap
ies for panic attacks
Perhaps the little trinket or "reminder" is more helpful to mindfulness than jus
t telling somebody to breath.
permalinkparent
[ ]notteoscura 9 points 9 hours ago
I think the clutch is that she could meet him on his level of breathing alone no
t being enough. Some people can breathe their way out of a panic attack. Others
can't. But yes, science does show breathing to be beneficial.
permalinkparent
[ ]3jt 10 points 6 hours ago
Mindful breathing is a grounding technique. However, therapists usually don't te
ll you that, and if they do they don't emphasize the "why". They just say to bre
athe. If you're hyperventilating, and someone says "breathe", that's fucking stu
pid. What is helpful is to focus on something other than the fact that you're ha
ving a panic attack. Ritual activities like cigarette smoking are helpful. So is
mindful breathing. It's the mindful part that helps.
permalinkparent
[ ]PurpleMentat [score hidden] 1 hour ago
So much this. Breathing without grounding is pointless. Grounding is the point o
f slow, deep, fully exhaled breathing.
permalinkparent
[ ]Launchfit 3 points 8 hours ago
You may not even see this comment, but I highly recommend you try using medical
marijuana to help treat your PTSD. I'm not here trying to persuade you to try a
drug you may not have any knowledge of, but in my experience, it has had a treme
ndous benefit to veterans with PTSD. My brother served in Iraq for 3 years and r
eturned home with severe PTSD. After countless weeks of taking drugs that had no
real benefit whatsoever, he tried medical marijuana. Ever since he indulged in
weed, his condition has improved substantially and his PTSD symptoms seem to les
sen every day. Again, weed isn't for everyone and I'm not sitting here telling y
ou it's a magical drug that will completely cure you. I'm simply suggesting some
thing that could be of great use to you and potentially benefit you. Best of luc
k, and thank you for serving our country.
permalink
[ ]persnipboobiees 3 points 8 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection.. if this gets enough upvotes + stays on the ma
in page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story: best of luck to
the op.
permalink
[ ]LaughingJackass 2 points 5 hours ago
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Wanted to say just this.

permalink
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ]LadyLavaLamp -4 points 10 hours ago
bloody_twat_rag and peanut_butter_scotch forever! I SHIP IT
permalink
[+] (13 children)
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 50 minutes ago
I am a vet as well and im going through similar issues but one of your comments
is a little out of line.
" She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good chance she had been raped
."
Thats B/S, sorry to be the negative one in the party.
Thats like saying "Every wife of a soldier that stayed near base cheated on thei
r husband while they were deployed because all women are scandalous."
Obviously not true,
Just because its the army doesn't make them rapist and baby killers.
Please understand im not harassing you. Thats the kind of blanket statement that
could set others off, like me and my response....
permalink
[ ]Commando_Girl [score hidden] 36 minutes ago
Ummmm. There's a big difference between "good chance" and "every".
You have issues if you really don't see the difference between the two.
permalinkparent
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 31 minutes ago
Right but my point is both statements are false.
permalinkparent
[ ] 9 hours ago
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ] 7 hours ago
[+] (7 children)
[+] (15 children)
[ ] 2 hours ago
[ ]heatheranne[M] [score hidden] 1 hour ago
Be nice or go away.
permalink
[+] (2 children)
[+]Lonsdaleite comment score below threshold (1 child)
[+] (1 child)
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (6 children)
[+] (10 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+]nickbernstein comment score below threshold (2 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+] (2 children)
[+] (1 child)
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Looking for a woman who helped me very much at the VA. Please read./r/all (self.
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submitted 14 hours ago * by peanut_butter_scotch
I am a male, and a combat veteran. I was doing well mentally for a while, under
the care of doctors and taking medication for PTSD and depression. One day, I we
nt to the VA to see my doctor and pick up meds. I was not doing well, a divorce
and financial problems had triggered my PTSD. And the VA was very crowded that d
ay. I was just trying to get meds at the pharmacy so I could go hone, but it was
so packed full of people and everyone was so rude and loud that I was having a
full on panic attack. I sat against a wall, shaking and in tears. Then, she stoo
d next to me.
She asked me when I got back. Fellow veterans always can tell when someone is fr
esh from the combat zone, and I know I appeared that way. I told her I had been
back for a few years but I was not doing well. And I just broke down. She listen
ed as I vented about the clusterfuck of rude people, and how I could not calm do
wn. I said, "I know, I am just supposed to fucking breathe, right?" That is what
the counselors at the VA always said. Just breathe, it will be okay.
"No." She said. "That is fucking pointless. Breathing will not help you right no
w. You are having a present reaction to a problem from the past. Right now, you
need to ground yourself and get out of the fear loop so you can calm down and be
gin to relax."
I asked, how do I do that? She told me about how everyone has something differen

t to ground them. Something comforting, something that triggers endorphins and h


appy memories. She said, she has a bottle of clove extract in her pocket, the sm
ell reminds her of her grandmother.
I began thinking of what I could use. She asked me if I wanted to go have a smok
e with her outside, and I did, so we went to the smoking gazebo. I asked her whe
re she learned these things that she was telling me about, no one ever understoo
d and gave me tips that helped.
Then she told me about reddit. And about a few subs that are primarily for women
, to discuss anything, and a lot of women talked about these coping skills to co
pe after rape and domestic violence. I felt sad suddenly, and thought of the rap
e problem in the military. She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good
chance she had been raped. As she spoke, I thought of how bad she had it. Not on
ly did she have PTSD like me and so many other men do, but she had PTSD from get
ting raped by the very men that were supposed to have her back.
She told me about the online community that helps her more than the stupid group
therapy we all had to go to. So I have lurked on reddit for a while. But I want
ed to reach out and thank her, but no idea what her username is. I know she freq
uents subs like this that are aimed at women, so I was hoping that maybe she wou
ld see this and would know how much it meant to me that she helped me. If anyone
here knows of a female veteran that frequents here, let me know.
Mysterious woman from the VA, thank you so much. You helped me find a path to he
aling. And I hope you find this.
Edit: I made this post then took a nap. I checked reddit on my phone and noticed
the very overwhelming response. Thank you, to everyone, for your support. And I
think I may have found her! My apologies for not respondingnto most of you, som
etimes I find even interacting with strangers online can be very anxiety inducin
g so I tend to steer clear, which is why I took so long to even make an account
on here. But I appreciate the kindness; I was not expecting to get this kind of
response. Thank you.
And final edit: well, found her. And, that is all. Being able to talk with her a
gain is great, and the positive response is nice, but the negative shit and the
insults being thrown and both her and I is very sad. I do not know why people mu
st hurt others when they are getting kind attention from others but I am told th
at is the way of Reddit. No, we will not be dating, she has a boyfriend which I
knew because he was there when I first met her. Tomorrow we are meeting for lunc
h, maybe she will post pics of it. I thought this would be fun and exciting but
with the negativity I am dreading even coming on reddit again. So, if she wants
to post pics tomorrow that will be up to her.
323 commentsshare
all 323 comments
sorted by: best
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1270 points 12 hours ago*
So, I passed this post by with an upvote and moved on. I was watching TV and it
clicked.
Was this at the VA in Loma Linda, CA?
And I appreciate the gold, guys, but please do not gild me anymore. I get the se
ntiment, but please, give it to someone else. I have no use for it.
permalink
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 518 points 11 hours ago
Yes! The VA in Loma Linda! Sorry I took so long to respond, I made this post, th
en took my meds and ended up passing out. Is this you?
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 141 points 11 hours ago
I hope so, this is one of the best things I've read in a while.
permalinkparent
[ ]joethomma 71 points 7 hours ago
It was all made possible by /u/bloody_twat_rag
permalinkparent
[ ]AcknowledgeTheLlama 17 points 6 hours ago
And her grandmothers cloves

permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 117 points 11 hours ago
Oh. I am still new to this, I have only been lurking on reddit for a few weeks,
maybe. I did not know that.
permalink
[ ]tryingtomakeit9 74 points 11 hours ago
So...is it her?
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 210 points 10 hours ago
Yes it is her!
permalinkparent
[ ]bhamv 38 points 10 hours ago
Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]allygraceless 23 points 10 hours ago
This makes me so happy :)
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 22 points 8 hours ago
I love /u/bloody_twat_rag. She always has words of wisdom.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 10 points 7 hours ago
Is she well known on this site?
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 18 points 7 hours ago
I have no idea, but I find her name very memorable.
permalinkparent
[ ]A_Cylon_Raider 9 points 7 hours ago
Probably not, it's just a common thing people joke about here when really nice o
r helpful people have surprising or strange usernames.
permalinkparent
[ ]aazav 21 points 9 hours ago
Glad you found the woman who helped you.
Feel better and when you can, pass on the same help that she gave you.
Cheers.
permalinkparent
[ ]terriblecowgirl 12 points 10 hours ago
This is beautiful. I'm glad you found her!!! :)
permalinkparent
[ ]littlemissderpy 7 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]digitalyss 7 points 9 hours ago
Holy shit
permalinkparent
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 10 points 10 hours ago
They are apparently PMing right now, so... I think so?
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]your_ex_girlfriend- 40 points 11 hours ago
The MUA in me loves this cat eye and the TwoXer in me wants it to be her... even
if it is kind of weird to repost this album here...
permalink
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 40 points 10 hours ago
Tape. That is my secret here on the eye make up. Tape.
permalinkparent
[ ]Mojitana 6 points 8 hours ago
That's a really great tip. Thanks!
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 138 points 11 hours ago

Wow I look like shit in those pics.


permalink
[ ]LabGeeked 156 points 11 hours ago
Shaddap, you are lovely in every way.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 186 points 10 hours ago
Yes, she is as beautiful outside as she is on the inside.
permalinkparent
[ ]ilovegingermen 92 points 9 hours ago
peanut_butter_scotch and bloody_twat_rags - A Love Story
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 118 points 9 hours ago
Perhaps, but I am in a happy relationship with children. This could be the start
of a friendship, though.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 60 points 10 hours ago
Sorry, I honestly didn't think you looked bad and they were from the first post
with your face that I found. I was just trying to help u/peanut_butter_scotch, d
oesn't sound like he knows how to look at a users' profile.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 120 points 10 hours ago
Its OK, the pics are just not flattering because I posted them to MUA for CC. Me
and him are talking on fb messenger right now, I think he is a bit overwhelmed
and shocked by the response he got.
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 51 points 10 hours ago
Okay now that is just fantastic. Cheers to you for being the good person you nee
ded to be at the time you needed to be it. It sounds like you selflessly helped
a fellow human when it really mattered.
permalinkparent
[ ]HaloNinjee 12 points 9 hours ago
I <3 you.
I know of the typical subs like this but if you have some suggestions for more I
'm looking to show my wife around the friendlier side of reddit.
permalinkparent
[ ]itsme_eloise 16 points 9 hours ago
Hey there - what does your wife like? TwoX is good, /r/TrollXChromosomes is amaz
ing as is their brother sub /r/TrollYChromosome. I personally also like some sub
reddits aimed at improving my appearance that have a bit more of a feminine comm
unity like /r/MakeupAddiction, /r/SkincareAddiction and /r/HaircareScience. Depe
nding on what she likes, there's probably a subreddit for it!
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]cviwood 10 points 8 hours ago
I like the SFWPornNetwork. Also it is not porn, they are sub reddits with pretty
pretty pictures.
/r/AbandonedPorn has images like this old stairway.
Check the right columnfor related subreddits.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 5 points 9 hours ago
Twox, and if you look in the sidebar they have links for related subs. That is h
ow I navigate around.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 17 points 10 hours ago
So it is you? Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]marshmallowmermaid 7 points 9 hours ago
:) I'm glad you got to connect.

permalinkparent
[ ]KitsBeach 4 points 5 hours ago
I just want to say that I recognize your name from other lady-oriented subs and
I thought you always seemed like a swell gal. This post cements that!
permalinkparent
[ ]diestate_enter 3 points 8 hours ago
Ask him how he came up with his username.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 32 points 7 hours ago
Are you talking about me? This is the name my kid gave to my dog. I think it is
the name of a dog on a kid show. I'm not a creative person, and the name always
reminds me of my daughter and makes me smile.
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continue this thread
[ ]aazav 14 points 9 hours ago
Ahhh. You look fine.
Glad you took the time to help peanut_butter_scotch out.
You did good.
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[ ]6F6A9O9 16 points 9 hours ago
I think you're real pretty on the inside and on the outside. What we call "all t
he way pretty". You're all the way pretty.
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[ ]GreenlyRose 7 points 7 hours ago
Don't be silly, you look lovely in those pics! :-)
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[ ]Pandibabi 18 points 10 hours ago
Wow u r beautiful .. from another heterosexual female btw dont want to sound cre
epy ok
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[ ]screaming-trees 14 points 10 hours ago
wow i love the great attidfue in this subreddit 10/10
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[ ]darkshy 6 points 8 hours ago
I mean, it could be worse. You look fine. You could actually look like a bloody
twat rag though. That would be terrible.
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[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
In my defense I am wearing a lot of make up in those well mostly eye make up, th
ey were posted to makeupaddiction
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[ ]PushitClaw -2 points 6 hours ago
Just breathe...
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[ ]houseofbacon 12 points 11 hours ago
We must know if its a match. The suspense is thicker than my backup jar of peanu
t butter.
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[ ]Nozphexezora 10 points 11 hours ago
WooOOOooo. Lucky you! I've had a similar situation once, but about drug addictio
n. She never came back.
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[ ]BloodGuts_AngelCake 10 points 9 hours ago
I don't know why but this brought a tear to my eye. It's nice to see there are k
ind people in this world.
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[ ]Ask_Me_What_Love_Is 6 points 6 hours ago
Hey pbs. I'm not her nor a veteran but I've had my fair share of woes and work i
n the loma Linda area (redlands) and if you ever need someone to catch a smoke o
r talk with, grab a beer or lunch with I am here. Just pm me and let me know.

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[ ]kaleybrennan 4 points 8 hours ago
hey idk if you'll see this but you should do a full tutorial of how you did that
makeup. and show what kind you use <3
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 13 points 7 hours ago
I think this was directed at the wrong person.
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[ ]Call_me_Kelly [score hidden] 1 hour ago
If there is a vet center near you I highly recommend checking them out.
http://www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
They specialize in ptsd and reintigration. When the VA became impossible for me
to go to because the noise, the people, and many bad experiences caused me to ha
ve panic attacks any time I entered I began going to the vet center for ptsd hel
p instead.
The atmosphere at my local vet center was awesome. The counselor I saw also help
ed me by creating scripts of what I needed to say to my pdoc and would message h
er on my behalf occasionally.
Also I began teleconference appointments with my va pdoc from a local outpatient
VA clinic. I didn't have the stress of going back into the VA and it allowed me
to tweak and adjust my meds when needed.
If you have nightmares, talk to a pdoc about prazosin. It helps reduce the whole
waking up flooded with adrenalin from nightmares thing. http://www.webmd.com/ato-z-guides/prazosin-for-ptsd
Also, the va prescribed me Xanax for anxiety for two years. If it's prescribed l
ong term for you talk to your doc about longterm side effects. I became full blo
wn agorophobic on it and it took away a year of my life. Imagine my anger when I
learner the va was supposed to have moved away from prescribing it long term du
e to terrible side effects years BEFORE they prescribed it to me.
/r/veterans is a pretty cool subreddit if you've never been.
I so glad someone was able to give you a stepping stone towards healing. I keep
pictures of my kids in my wallet to help ground me during panic attacks. I also
highly recommend changing the immediate surroundings. Leave the room or building
when one starts and it can sometimes help reduce the damage.
Kelly
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[ ]lawdudette -2 points 6 hours ago
/r/bestof!!!!!!
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[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 12 points 6 hours ago
I hope not I can not handle the harassment I'm not logging in again this is it I
am done
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[ ]PM_ME_TITS_MLADY 12 points 4 hours ago
Sigh, the internet is for everyone. But that's precisely the reason why sometime
s it's not for everyone.
Reddit is one of those places.
I wish you all the best, focus on the positive, always. It'll help at times, I p
romise.
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[ ]CochinBrahmaLover 2 points 3 hours ago
You can delete your account.
Go to preferences and there's an option to delete.
permalinkparent
[+] (1 child)
[ ]Notasurgeon 30 points 11 hours ago
Hey, I was working there today. What a coincidence.
permalinkparent
[ ]jonnyk354 -4 points 6 hours ago
Can you confirm that this event occurred?

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[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Read the post. Did not say it happened today. It happened at the beginning of th
e month.
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[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (4 children)
[ ]LoCHiF 22 points 10 hours ago
Gold is largely a donation to reddit. No-one really uses it.
permalinkparent
[ ]DarlinUntitled18 7 points 5 hours ago
I like to think of it somewhat symbolically, as in "Someone made a donation to R
eddit in your name!" sort of like, this comment, this person, or this content is
what I want to see on Reddit. People guild her because she is the kind of perso
n they want their user base to be, and they're proud to use the same website as
her.
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[ ]LoCHiF 3 points 2 hours ago
Agreed. It's a combination of a super emphatic upvote and the donation to reddit
as a sort of "yay reddit!" gesture.
permalinkparent
[ ]DiffidentDissident 9 points 10 hours ago
Hey, thanks for looking out for OP. I think that makes you pretty great.
permalinkparent
[ ]Drachte 17 points 11 hours ago
Op pls
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[ ]rightioushippie 7 points 8 hours ago
so what were the subreddits that helped you find coping mechanisms?
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[ ]bloody_twat_rag 11 points 8 hours ago
Twox, actually. I had made a post a while ago about being trigger by a video I s
aw of animal abuse that triggered flashbacks from sexual abuse in my childhood a
nd a lot of people gave me grounding tips.
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[ ]King_Penguin_IV [score hidden] 49 minutes ago
What grounding tips helped you the most?
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[ ]wibblywobblychilango 5 points 10 hours ago
Holy shit, things like this are why I love reddit so much! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]monkeiboi 8 points 10 hours ago
ignore her! Everyone gild her!
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[ ]MultiversEngineer 3 points 2 hours ago
Air Force vet here. I have PTSD with panic disorder.
This post is amazing to me. I can appreciate anyone who helps their fellow vets.
I am still in the process of gaining control over my own panic problems. Any ad
vice would be greatly appreciated.
PS: I am currently in school and was also diagnosed with ADD recently. The last
two years have just been a wreck.
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[ ]Defeat 3 points 4 hours ago
Hey there. If it makes you feel better: reddit runs very few ads. Criminally few
. This site was hemorrhaging money, and it probably still is. A few years ago (h
onestly I can't remember reddit time just sort of blurs together for me) reddit
was plagued by serve issues. Nothing would work or load. Then some genius invent
ed reddit gold. Or maybe it was mold first. Either way reddit was saved. Gold is
a donation more to the site we all mooch off of, and is definitely not a reward
for you being amazing. Also panic attacks fucking suck so thank you for helping
that guy out .

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[ ]MrFeles [score hidden] 58 minutes ago
Goddamnit. Read story, imagine some sort of fancy saint. Man calls out to the cr
owd, will she reveal herself?
Blood twat rag emerges.
What a strange mixture of emotions.
Also slightly relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2CWsqGFgkA
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[ ]dubyawinfrey -2 points 7 hours ago
Weird, I guess you live in Riverside? What are the odds you would live in the sa
me county as myself.
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[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Well, seeing that the Loma Linda VA is used by both Riverside and San Bernardino
Counties, and considering how vast both of those counties are, plus people from
other counties who use that VA because they do not want to go to the others in
LA Jolla or Long Beach due to distance or whatever reasons, it is not so unlikel
y.
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[ ]dubyawinfrey 4 points 6 hours ago
Well, even though I'm technically a veteran now, I've never had a reason to visi
t the VA and fortunately do not have any problems with PTSD or anything of that
nature. (Depression, but nothing related to my time in).
Plus, I just moved here, so I thought that was interesting.
Either way, best of luck to you. I'm sorry your time in had some truly shitty mo
ments, for lack of a better phrase. I'm sure you're aware, but most of us are ag
ainst that shit. At least, I hope.
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[+]apologies-in-advance comment score below threshold (0 children)
[ ]Walkingonadream7 -1 points 3 hours ago
You can use it to buy some wax for your cross
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[+] (6 children)
[ ]RediscoveredIllusion 53 points 12 hours ago
I have PTSD as well, from abuse situations like so many others here. I am so gla
d someone came along to help you cope. I had forgotten about grounding myself th
is way and reading your post for her... Well, whomever she is, if she finds this
, thank you from me as well.
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[ ]Ivyleaguehandjob 185 points 13 hours ago
My father is a Korean War vet. We sat watching TV and the (new) Wounded Warrior
Project donation commercial comes on and my dad gets very angry. These commercia
ls are on par if not emotionally worse than the starving children and beaten dog
commercials.
We have done something very wrong to our veterans. There should be no need for c
harities like this. NO charities targeting veterans in need of food, clothing, s
helter, education, job training and more.
WWP Purpose:
To raise awareness and enlist the public's aid for the needs of injured service
members.
My father says "NO, that's our governments job, our employer!"
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[ ]athingz 39 points 11 hours ago*
job training and more.
As an Iraq veteran that can't even seem to get a job interview at Walmart, I'm s
tarting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm not sure I have PTSD from my service, but about 8 years later when I finally
went in to a sliding scale clinic for depression symptoms and inability to conc
entrate/study (failing school), they called it "survivor's guilt". I wish it was
my truck that got hit. I volunteered for every convoy after that. Never heard o

f survivor's guilt until I was out for 8 years.


Never used the VA before. Not even sure where to start or where they're located.
I just learned a couple months ago you don't have to be a 20 year vet or have a
disability % to qualify, apparently. All third-hand knowledge. I thought you co
uld only use them for stuff that happened while in, and there's no proof of anyt
hing health related on military record. I've seen my folder right before ETS.
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[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 39 points 10 hours ago
You can use the VA for medical care, even if you do not have a disability claim.
You just need to have served 180 days active service. Go to a local VA with you
r 214 and fill out some paperwork, you can usually be seen right away.
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[ ]panthera213 8 points 9 hours ago
Does your VA offer the chance to look at having service animals? My boyfriend is
in the CF and some of the guys here have gotten service animals to help them wi
th their PTSD. I know that it's been a comfort to them, or at least maybe anothe
r avenue to explore to help you out. Hope you are feeling better.
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[ ]IT_is_not_all_I_am 10 points 8 hours ago
Yeah, I know a guy that breeds and trains dogs for Rebuilding Warriors. I know h
e's trained them for folks with PTSD, but no idea how that organization selects
recipients. Might be worth looking into.
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[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
Or, find someone that gets rescue dogs and trains them instead of dogs that were
bred just for.
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[ ]asianfromamerica 1 point 6 hours ago
SO ARE YOU THE WOMAN THAT HELPED THIS MAN? You are amazing I hope you realize th
at.
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[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1 point 5 hours ago
No. I'm not. I'm average at best.
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[ ]darkangl187 7 points 8 hours ago
the VA is for those who served and discharged honorably, service connection or n
ot. please check them out it sounds like you need to consider service connection
for your survivors guilt.
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[ ]bloody_twat_rag 7 points 8 hours ago
Not just an honorable discharge. As long as you did not receive a dishonorable.
General, GUH, etc are accepted.
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[ ]Yeynna 4 points 6 hours ago
I'm starting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's the same for the unemployed, disable
d, and homeless who aren't veterans in the US (or anywhere else, I'm not America
n), I don't know what to say about everything else you faced because I can't ima
gine what living through it is like, but I want to say that no matter how much i
t seems like if you were suffering in the "right" way people would care more it'
s not true, it seems that way for everyone, but we're not alone in the facing th
is, and it's not your fault people are dismissing and scornful.
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[ ]Lots42 3 points 5 hours ago
www.211.org has lots of resourves for mental, physical and related help. Easy to
find lots and lots of stuff.
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[ ]preflop 3 points 2 hours ago
Hours late, but if you're having trouble getting things arranged, put in a call
to your local congressional office. You'll probably be assigned to a constituent

casework person and they'll put you in touch with who you need to talk to and w
here you need to go.
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[ ]mmm_toasty 19 points 12 hours ago
Hopefully at some point in the future the laws and regulations regarding providi
ng aid of all kinds to veterans in need will be fixed. For now though, as ways o
f acquiring the funding that the government fails to provide, I think that they
serve an important purpose.
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[ ]pmmesomeavocado 16 points 12 hours ago
The problem is that to do that, you need to raise taxes. And if you do that, you
're a freedom hating commie.
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[ ]bouncer4819 19 points 11 hours ago
Or we could just cut from our extremely overfunded defense budget, and reallocat
e those funds to actually help our vets
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[ ]vuhleeitee 0 points 4 hours ago
Yes. We should fire a whole bunch of people that are a few years away from retir
ement anyway. That makes complete sense.
You do realize that cutting the defense budget just means that it will create mo
re veterans who are at a loss for a stable source of income.
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[ ]tiehunter 3 points 4 hours ago
Or... Instead of buying jets that the military neither needs nor wants, we could
spend that money on veterans.
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[ ]athennna 8 points 11 hours ago
Or you need to better budget the tax revenue you already have.
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[ ]QuelqueChoseRose 0 points 2 hours ago
My understanding is that the V.A.'s fairly well-funded, nowadays. Relative to th
e rest of the federal government, at least. (Its funding's increased in years wh
en even Defense's was cut.) The problem's entirely administrative. It's a bureau
cratic nightmare, and no one's been able to solve it.
I think if a presidential candidate ran on a platform of simply making the feder
al government more efficient, they'd win easily. All the bickering about taxes a
nd spending, and we're still incredibly bad at doing what we want with the money
we tax and spend.
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[ ]hyene 9 points 11 hours ago
no, we don't need to raise taxes. we need to move from mathematically-illogical
capitalism to a scientifically-managed resource-based economy.
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[ ]Ruste 1 point 10 hours ago
Honestly curious, why should the government ever provide a service that is alrea
dy provided for by charities. Why force everyone to pay for something that peopl
e already give willingly to assuming that they provide enough. (I know they don'
t but according to OP there should be NO need for these charities as if it shoul
d be taken care of by the government regardless.)
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[ ]ggqq 7 points 10 hours ago
because there is a fine line we need to skate as a society between socialism and
capitalism to keep the employable people happy. If the government paid for ever
ything, we'd have incredibly high tax. This discourages people from working too
hard with tax brackets so you end up with nobody earning that much and an even h
igher tax because less people earn lots. What we need to do is convince rich peo
ple to be charitable (or rather, just tell rich people to give their money away
for free. I just solved the economic crisis. boom. you're welcome)
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[ ]Otto_Lidenbrock 6 points 9 hours ago


Except that tax brackets have never stopped anyone from making more money. Compl
ain about it, sure... But they still take the raise. It's a patently false argum
ent.
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[ ]undsowbe 10 points 8 hours ago
Your father as a Korean War Veteran would not qualify for the WWP program. Only
post 9/11 Vets qualify. Even at the VA, there are programs that my Vietnam-era h
usband does not qualify for (acupuncture being the most recent). The docs there
want the prestige and kudos that comes from treating recent Vets. It's the same
with the WWP. They know they can rake in the bucks if they play on public sentim
ent for post 9/11 Vets.
Never before have Veterans been excluded from programs based on the era they ser
ved in, until now.
TLDR: Fuck the WWP
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[ ]DrTypo 8 points 7 hours ago
WWP is also something that is wrong. Google wounded warrior project scam, and lo
ok at how much of the money that they collect actually goes to vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 160 points 14 hours ago
That is very sweet and I hope she sees this too! Best of luck on your journey an
d I am so sorry that as a nation we do so little for you and the other veterans.
Our system (what parts are not a clusterfuck) is frustrating at best and I am g
lad you find the courage every day to get up and navigate the system and your sy
mptoms, rather than letting the circumstances win. Hope she sees this! :)
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[ ]mantiskiller 18 points 13 hours ago
I have very little knowledge of what the opportunities available for veterans bu
t always hear that it is inadequate. What improvements do you think the governme
nt could make?
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[ ]athwartthelotus 29 points 12 hours ago
Well, (I'm assuming you are in the US) the system is just not streamlined and po
orly funded. You go for mental health help, there is no extra or quick he for pe
ople coming in while in crisis. Most get the same wait time as others. You go, y
ou sign up, and then you wait. Some people 6-8 weeks to be seen for someone who
sees you for 10 minutes to determine the meds you need and whether or not therap
y will help. Never mind med changes, trying to get refills. And you can forget h
ousing if you are homeless. Most VA houses/shelters are 30-50 beds and have wait
ing lists a mile long. We have homeless populations of mentally ill veterans who
, with the right meds and a few months of meals and a roof over their head would
be able to work some and get back on their feet. It's just a very broken, poorl
y funded, slow moving system and we as a country should be ashamed of ourselves.
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[ ]Evil__Toaster -3 points 12 hours ago
And you can forget housing if you are homeless.
That's why there is a pension program to give money to those that need it.
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[ ]athwartthelotus 16 points 12 hours ago
Yeah, but in some cases the money isn't enough or the application process is too
long and they are homeless before they get the money. Most homeless vets get mo
ney, its just not enough to live on and they aren't able to hold a job because t
hey can't get enough services to help their PTSD and resulting addictions. I was
a case worker for a veterans program for a year. I only lasted a year. It was t
he worst. The suicide rates, filling out paper work and seeing them be desperate
and only being able to say, 'well, I submitted it. we just have to wait.', not
having housing for them so at 5pm after hours of calling they were back out to w
ander another night on the streets. Ugh, I felt awful.
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[ ]endergrrl 21 points 12 hours ago


The pension program is only for vets with wartime service. Peacetime vets don't
have this fallback. Additionally, pension is only for those determined disabled.
There are some newer programs to combat homelessness for vets, but they depend
on location.
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[ ]Evil__Toaster 2 points 11 hours ago*
I'm just saying there is something, many people make it sound like there is no e
ffort at all. Homeless cases are a high priority. You sound like a VSR or VSO?
oh, ok, downvote me for thinking somebody sounds incredibly knowledgeable.
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[ ]endergrrl 12 points 11 hours ago
No. I'm a Legal Aid attorney who specializes in vets.
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[ ]Evil__Toaster 5 points 11 hours ago
Awesome. Nice to meet you.
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[ ]Sulde 37 points 12 hours ago
upvote for visibility.
and dude: when you are going through hell, keep on going. Never never never give
up.
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[ ]endergrrl 36 points 12 hours ago
Female army vet here, though not the one you're looking for. Which VAMC were you
at? I'm glad someone helped you through that and that you found a safe and help
ful space here.
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[ ]crouchtouchpause 32 points 12 hours ago
This is a beautiful post. All I can offer is that it does get better, and that a
nyone capable of writing such an emotionally honest post has already crossed mor
e bridges that most manage in a lifetime.
I hope she reads what you've written, but even if she doesn't you should know th
at many people have understood the sentiment and been moved by it.
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[ ]mablesyrup 9 points 11 hours ago
Posts like this prove why today is the best monday of the year!
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[ ]Tonyman457 12 points 9 hours ago
This post has everything. The tragedy. The cry for help. The rocky montage at th
e VA where everything gets slightly better, but he looses his mentor somewhere.
Then, BAM! they rekindle!
The cherry on top is that her fuckin reddit ID is Bloody Twat Rag. Hits you with
the feels, then brings you back with some good ol' fashioned dark humor.
Most novels aren't this good.
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[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
I read this in Stefon's voice :)
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[ ]Edrondol 33 points 6 hours ago
Marine vet here. No PTSD unless you count flashbacks of sitting in a storeroom f
or hours. But I wanted to pop in and say don't sweat the haters. Most of them ar
e just stupid kids trying to be edgy. The rest are assholes because they are ano
nymous and it's how they get their jollies. Just like the military, reddit has g
ood people and reddit has dicks. Unlike the military, you can completely ignore
the dicks here.
Don't know what branch you were in (I didn't read through everything), but I'm g
iving you a big Semper Fi anyway. Stay strong, brother.
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[ ]spookyxskepticism 16 points 11 hours ago
Aaaaand I'm in tears. I'm so glad she was able to help you. Here's an upvote. Ho

pefully with enough of these she'll take notice and see your post! I'm so glad t
hat your experience has helped you on to the path of healing. Thank you so much
for your service <3
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[ ]scarletdrive 3 points 9 hours ago
I needed a good cry today. Bless this post.
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[ ]faeriechyld 16 points 12 hours ago
I hope she gets your message of thanks even if she wants to remain anonymous. An
d I really really hope you start feeling better too. I wish I could do more than
offer internet hugs!
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[ ]schweppesmeoffmyfeet 32 points 13 hours ago
This is why I love Reddit.
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[ ]mightyflynn 14 points 12 hours ago
This is beautiful. I hope you are finding your ground.
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[ ]anniebme 13 points 11 hours ago
Hi friend! I find having a smooth stone in my pocket helps. The stone reminds me
of chilling next to a river. I hope you find your mini-reminder, too!
I have found EMDR therapy rough to go through but helpful to process thoughts an
d memories. It may help you, too. It won't be easy but neither is what you are c
urrently dealing with.
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[ ]BaronessUnderboob 11 points 8 hours ago
I use a piece of hematite sometimes, the weight feels nice in my hands. Though I
don't subscribe to that healing crystals stuff, I just like shiny rocks.
permalinkparent
[ ]anniebme 8 points 8 hours ago
Sounds like a great reminder to just be! Heavy enough to remind, light enough to
carry! Hematite just looks cool, too.
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[ ]DancingHeel 12 points 9 hours ago
I'm not her, but reading this has made me smile. I get down about working at VA
a lot - the bureaucracy and paperwork (and the sexual harassment from older Vets
) are really pushing me out the door. But I like the people I work with, and I k
now they really care about the wellbeing of Veterans. This is a great example of
that. Whether she was an employee or just a fellow Vet receiving services, ther
e are definitely good people in that crazy system.
To anyone else out there struggling with PTSD, other mental health concerns, or
service-related health issues - there is hope. Even when the VA gets horrible pr
ess, even when claims are backlogged - there are good people who want to help an
d are well-equipped to do so. If you haven't sought any help at the VA but you m
ight qualify for services, it's worth a shot. Don't give up. Every VA is, unfort
unately, very different in terms of quality. Shop around if you need to. It real
ly sucks that that's the way it is, because Veterans deserve better care. Govern
ment funding of Veteran services is extremely poor. But I have seen the efforts
of good people help change the system, slowly, from the inside.
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[ ]paulb02 9 points 10 hours ago
This is a great story and I am happy you were able to find one of the good peopl
e at the VA. There is a lot of VA bashing and I understand it is not the best si
tuation for veterans, but some people at the VA do truly care about the Veterans
and their treatment and benefits. While my wife was not a vet herself, she work
s in the Comp and Pension section and deals primarily with the veterans via the
claims process. The Veterans rarely know the person behind the claim but she doe
s go that extra step whenever possible to ensure the claims are not jacked up.
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[ ]TurdFergusonTheThird 10 points 9 hours ago

This post motivated me to join reddit. Long time listener first time poster here
.. Thanks for the energy.
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[ ]TheRealFJ 15 points 6 hours ago
Dude please don't let the ass holes turn you away from Reddit. I get shit all th
e time for the smallest shit here but you need to know that those people are onl
y here to be mean...like the comments on YouTube.
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[ ]Sector_805 23 points 11 hours ago
As a female who has served, I love this and hope she reads this.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
Thank you for your service, ma'am
permalinkparent
[ ]Bm1324 13 points 12 hours ago
Wow, I hope you are able to find her. As someone with PTSD, I find that even a l
ot of well-meaning people don't know what to say or do when I'm triggered or in
a difficult place. They do their best to use methods that they've seen or say th
ings like "It'll be alright," which aren't much help at the moment and too dista
nt for me to connect to. I like that she was real and helped to put you back int
o reality by grounding you in the current place and time. I'll have to remember
this as well :)
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[ ]izzgo 24 points 13 hours ago
Upvoted so maybe she has a better chance to see this.
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[ ]supersayanftw 5 points 12 hours ago
Please update, best of luck to you
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[ ]devoted2mercury 7 points 12 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she sees this; Reddit is awesome.
permalink
[ ]Clayra 7 points 11 hours ago
I know first hand how trying it can be getting treatment from the VA. I sometime
s find that it's easier to go to one of the help desks and ask them to walk you
to wherever you want to go. It won't get you put to the front of the line, but I
've found that things tend to move more smoothly.
Like so much of government work it's just a big good-ole-boys club, and there's
a good chance that anyone working there has to at the very least be friendly wit
h everyone else if they have any hopes of staying.
permalink
[ ]BareKnuckleKitty 7 points 11 hours ago
This is so beautiful. Thank you for your service. I really hope she sees this!
permalink
[ ]petit_cochon 6 points 11 hours ago
Hey buddy, so glad this subreddit has helped you, and I hope it continues to hel
p you as you recover and heal.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 6 points 11 hours ago
OP, thank you for your service and sacrifice. Thanks also to the VA mystery woma
n for her service and sacrifice.
permalink
[ ]nerak1138 6 points 11 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she finds this, but even if she doesn't, she surely knows that s
he made a difference that day. Pay it forward, man. And keep your chin up. Lots
of love to you and all veterans.
permalink
[ ]GimmeMuchosMangos 8 points 11 hours ago
Good luck to you.
permalink

[ ]saraleecupcake 7 points 11 hours ago


Best of luck
permalink
[ ]theBIGnaudd 7 points 10 hours ago
Keep your head up brother! Look for a support group. The VA has resources and ca
n help find you a group to join. Stay strong! There are so many people out there
who care and want to help you out with your experiences.
permalink
[ ]rogue780 6 points 10 hours ago
/r/veterans has some good resources as well
permalink
[ ]SuperChubbs 7 points 8 hours ago
This is really special. I served on a submarine for 4 years getting out in 2012
and I had a hard time readjusting. PTSD and depression combined with feeling lik
e I never related to many other veterans because I served in a different environ
ment then most.
I know it isn't easy to help someone going through PTSD or a panic attack but i'
ve had a few people really come through for me when I needed it and I don't know
where i'd be if they hadn't. Now my life is so much brighter. :) Thank you so m
uch for stepping up and helping that guy, people like you are wonderful.
permalink
[ ]somegaychick 2 points 4 hours ago
I cant even begin to imagine what its like. Thank you for your service. <3
permalinkparent
[ ]SuperChubbs 1 point 3 hours ago
Thank you so much, it used to make me uncomfortable hearing that but it's kinda
nice now that i'm doing so much better :) You made my night.
permalinkparent
[ ]kawaii-throwaway 6 points 8 hours ago
This entire post v was beautiful beginning to end.
My ptsd is considered in remission but I still wear patchouli pull to remind me
of my grandmother. I also have a lyric from one of my favorite songs on my wrist
. Seeing the message (be patient) itself keeps me grounded but being reminded of
the song takes me back to awe inspiring memories that snap me right out of an e
pisode.
It's a magical feeling when you finally find coping mechanisms that actually hel
p. Every moment before that feels like a constant waking nightmare, a landmine o
f triggers, but once you find what works, it's as if a weight is lifted from you
.
permalink
[ ]Milagro_chef 21 points 13 hours ago
I have PTSD. Her definition is exact correct. Thank you.
permalink
[ ]I_require_answers 10 points 10 hours ago
It's disappointing, and sadly unsurprising, that none of the professionals you w
orked with at the VA taught you some grounding skills, I mean that's really trau
ma therapy 101. It makes me sad our vets don't get better treatment than that. A
nyway, glad you guys found each other, and thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]baconchief 5 points 10 hours ago
Thank you for your service Sir! I hope you regain control of your life and can l
ive on happily! Much respect.
permalink
[ ]nocomfychairs 6 points 9 hours ago
Thank you both for your service.
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.

Take care friend...


permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]Hippiemamklp 5 points 8 hours ago
This made me tear up. I am sending huge cyber hugs to both of you! Sometimes hel
p comes in the most unlikely ways:-) Glad you are both getting help and I hope h
ealing.
permalink
[ ]ilokaners 6 points 7 hours ago
That's great. I wish you the best in healing. Sorry the VA doesn't help as much
as it should. I wish it would change but people like you and your friend are an
inspiration. Thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]squirtsmilk 5 points 7 hours ago
Thank you to our vets.. And to kind and compassionate people .... They make the
world safe for us all.
permalink
[ ]Noculum 7 points 6 hours ago
This warmed my heart. What a lovely story.
permalink
[ ]MonkeyNacho 7 points 6 hours ago
Thank you both for your service. I hope she, and the rest of us here on Reddit,
can help you find a road to inner peace.
permalink
[ ]Lots42 17 points 6 hours ago
You're on a woman-friendly sub-reddit that ended up on /r/all. That's why there'
s some negativity floating to the surface. /r/all is full of jackasses who can't
deal with the fact woman-friendly sub-reddits exist.
Or that women exist.
permalink
[ ]chocobodanger 8 points 7 hours ago
I have PTSD as well from rape. I have been diagnosed but the "system" here has f
ailed me by not getting me treatment needed (saw a counselor, put on depression/
anxiety meds, told I would have therapy and have not seen another counselor sinc
e?) You inadvertently helped me cope just by posting what she had told you.
permalink
[ ]txdahlia 10 points 6 hours ago
Unfortunately social media can bring out the dark side of those to impotent to s
how it in their daily lives because they fear repercussions, so they use an anon
ymous faceless version of themselves and pretend to be a bad ass. You are worthy
of happiness and peace after your great sacrifice. Don't let others put you dow
n.
permalink
[ ]dftexas165 5 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaay! The power of reddit. Glad you found her! I appreciate your service too b
uddy. I really hope you learn how to deal with you're issues brought on by your
experiences at war.
permalink
[ ]lotsofsippycups 4 points 9 hours ago
Aww I'm so glad you found her! :)
permalink
[ ]Ammoholic 3 points 8 hours ago
My dad is a doctor who treats ptsd at that va. Ask to see Dr goldstein. He will
help you for sure!
permalink

[ ]soitgoes182 4 points 8 hours ago


This is fucking beautiful!!
permalink
[ ]liesforliars 4 points 7 hours ago
I'm so happy you found her, man !! The internet can be wonderful..
permalink
[ ]dontdid 5 points 7 hours ago
This is so touching. Thank you both for your service and compassion. I hope you
find relief from what haunts you.
permalink
[ ]TheRainMonster 4 points 7 hours ago
Scotch tastes like peanut butter to you, too?
permalink
[ ]Soxbee 5 points 7 hours ago
It's amazing how one person can really make a difference! I'm so glad you found
her again!
My heart goes out to all of the veterans. I want to hug you all and offer any su
pport I can for what you've been through.
permalink
[ ]jschlik 3 points 6 hours ago*
Glad you found her. Thanks for the humbling and inspiring post.
I dont know if anyone has already mentioned this but Vital Warrior (vitalwarrior
.org) could be a great resource for those suffering from mental illness. I reall
y like what they are doing to help Vets.
permalink
[ ]_Rootshell_ 13 points 11 hours ago
Peanut butter scotch, meet bloody twat rag. A match made in heaven.
permalink
[ ]Upam 8 points 11 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection, if this gets enough upvotes and stays on the m
ain page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story. Best of luck to
the op
permalink
[ ]aazav 4 points 9 hours ago
Be good man, be good.
permalink
[ ]cannedbread1 3 points 2 hours ago
I am so glad that there was a lifeline out there for you at the perfect time. I
am so very sad for negative comments you are getting. Some people truly are arse
hats.
permalink
[ ]TabulaRasaNot [score hidden] 33 minutes ago
You folks with the negative comments to which OP refers, the ones pushing him ba
ck into himself, shame on you. You make me wish karma was real.
permalink
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 8 points 13 hours ago
Upboats
permalink
[ ]saralt 5 points 11 hours ago
And many more boats.
permalinkparent
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 3 points 7 hours ago
best part is they found each other :)
permalinkparent
[ ]theclassywino 4 points 7 hours ago
You're a hero, best of luck to you. Thank you for serving.
permalink
[ ]ArcheryHunter4Life 4 points 5 hours ago
I just wanted to say thank you for stepping up and posting this, it is so touchi
ng. It is incredibly brave of you and I'm sorry for all that you've been through

and for all of the rude people on this site. I will probably never experience w
hat you have been through. I hope you find yourself healed and happy in the futu
re. Most especially, thank you for your service.
permalink
[ ]Code_NY [score hidden] 1 hour ago
I'm sorry you've had to read through negative responses to this post. It's the d
ownside of open forum on the Internet. Just let them wash over you and concentra
te on the good ones, which are plentiful.
I hope things get better for you soon and I'm glad you've managed to reconnect w
ith her :)
permalink
[ ]CrackpotPatriot [score hidden] 34 minutes ago
Takes a lot of courage to reach out a thank you on the interwebz -especially red
dit. Well done. Thank yous are just too rare in this world.
permalink
[ ]NejKidd 6 points 12 hours ago
Can't wait to see the response on /r/bestof
permalink
[ ]Honkbag 10 points 11 hours ago
Not to be "that guy" in an otherwise supportive thread, but breathing/mindfulnes
s meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therapies for panic attack
s. That's science. that's why the counselors likely repeated it.
Im sorry you didnt feel heard, OP, and the psychological empathy With someone pe
rceived/identified as previously traumatized now wise and mentoring seems helpfu
l to you. Also, the act of smoking mimics controlled breathing which contrasts w
ith either the feeling of suffocation or hyperventilation in panic. The peer sim
ply stated things in a different way that resonated based on shared experience.
That also is important...oftentimes people in therapy perceive that therapists "
don't understand" what they've been through, and therefore arent able to help th
em because they havent been through "the same thing". Fact is, even two people i
n the same fight wont experience the situation exactly the same. But that's not
the point. The point is that In addition to wanting to feel understood, OP, you
needed to know you're not alone, and you needed to see someone actively coping a
nd recovering.
Do what works for you OP...but try not to throw the baby out with the bath water
. You may have valid reasons for anger at the VA (and what psychological role th
ey play in the trauma experience) but those techniques are indeed helpful with c
ontinued practice. Maybe it just needed to be explained differently or in more d
epth (other than "just breathe"...which may come across as dismissive). use all
the resources (however limited) you have at your disposal and let your therapst
know what makes you mad.
Good luck.
permalink
[ ]waitwuh 16 points 9 hours ago
breathing/mindfulness meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therap
ies for panic attacks
Perhaps the little trinket or "reminder" is more helpful to mindfulness than jus
t telling somebody to breath.
permalinkparent
[ ]notteoscura 9 points 9 hours ago
I think the clutch is that she could meet him on his level of breathing alone no
t being enough. Some people can breathe their way out of a panic attack. Others
can't. But yes, science does show breathing to be beneficial.
permalinkparent
[ ]3jt 10 points 6 hours ago
Mindful breathing is a grounding technique. However, therapists usually don't te
ll you that, and if they do they don't emphasize the "why". They just say to bre
athe. If you're hyperventilating, and someone says "breathe", that's fucking stu
pid. What is helpful is to focus on something other than the fact that you're ha
ving a panic attack. Ritual activities like cigarette smoking are helpful. So is

mindful breathing. It's the mindful part that helps.


permalinkparent
[ ]PurpleMentat [score hidden] 1 hour ago
So much this. Breathing without grounding is pointless. Grounding is the point o
f slow, deep, fully exhaled breathing.
permalinkparent
[ ]Launchfit 3 points 8 hours ago
You may not even see this comment, but I highly recommend you try using medical
marijuana to help treat your PTSD. I'm not here trying to persuade you to try a
drug you may not have any knowledge of, but in my experience, it has had a treme
ndous benefit to veterans with PTSD. My brother served in Iraq for 3 years and r
eturned home with severe PTSD. After countless weeks of taking drugs that had no
real benefit whatsoever, he tried medical marijuana. Ever since he indulged in
weed, his condition has improved substantially and his PTSD symptoms seem to les
sen every day. Again, weed isn't for everyone and I'm not sitting here telling y
ou it's a magical drug that will completely cure you. I'm simply suggesting some
thing that could be of great use to you and potentially benefit you. Best of luc
k, and thank you for serving our country.
permalink
[ ]persnipboobiees 3 points 8 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection.. if this gets enough upvotes + stays on the ma
in page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story: best of luck to
the op.
permalink
[ ]LaughingJackass 2 points 5 hours ago
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Wanted to say just this.
permalink
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ]LadyLavaLamp -4 points 10 hours ago
bloody_twat_rag and peanut_butter_scotch forever! I SHIP IT
permalink
[+] (13 children)
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 50 minutes ago
I am a vet as well and im going through similar issues but one of your comments
is a little out of line.
" She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good chance she had been raped
."
Thats B/S, sorry to be the negative one in the party.
Thats like saying "Every wife of a soldier that stayed near base cheated on thei
r husband while they were deployed because all women are scandalous."
Obviously not true,
Just because its the army doesn't make them rapist and baby killers.
Please understand im not harassing you. Thats the kind of blanket statement that
could set others off, like me and my response....
permalink
[ ]Commando_Girl [score hidden] 36 minutes ago
Ummmm. There's a big difference between "good chance" and "every".
You have issues if you really don't see the difference between the two.
permalinkparent
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 31 minutes ago
Right but my point is both statements are false.
permalinkparent
[ ] 9 hours ago
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ] 7 hours ago
[+] (7 children)
[+] (15 children)
[ ] 2 hours ago
[ ]heatheranne[M] [score hidden] 1 hour ago

Be nice or go away.
permalink
[+] (2 children)
[+]Lonsdaleite comment score below threshold (1 child)
[+] (1 child)
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (6 children)
[+] (10 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+]nickbernstein comment score below threshold (2 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+] (2 children)
[+] (1 child)
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Looking for a woman who helped me very much at the VA. Please read./r/all (self.
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submitted 14 hours ago * by peanut_butter_scotch
I am a male, and a combat veteran. I was doing well mentally for a while, under
the care of doctors and taking medication for PTSD and depression. One day, I we
nt to the VA to see my doctor and pick up meds. I was not doing well, a divorce
and financial problems had triggered my PTSD. And the VA was very crowded that d
ay. I was just trying to get meds at the pharmacy so I could go hone, but it was
so packed full of people and everyone was so rude and loud that I was having a
full on panic attack. I sat against a wall, shaking and in tears. Then, she stoo
d next to me.
She asked me when I got back. Fellow veterans always can tell when someone is fr
esh from the combat zone, and I know I appeared that way. I told her I had been
back for a few years but I was not doing well. And I just broke down. She listen
ed as I vented about the clusterfuck of rude people, and how I could not calm do
wn. I said, "I know, I am just supposed to fucking breathe, right?" That is what
the counselors at the VA always said. Just breathe, it will be okay.
"No." She said. "That is fucking pointless. Breathing will not help you right no
w. You are having a present reaction to a problem from the past. Right now, you
need to ground yourself and get out of the fear loop so you can calm down and be
gin to relax."
I asked, how do I do that? She told me about how everyone has something differen
t to ground them. Something comforting, something that triggers endorphins and h
appy memories. She said, she has a bottle of clove extract in her pocket, the sm
ell reminds her of her grandmother.
I began thinking of what I could use. She asked me if I wanted to go have a smok
e with her outside, and I did, so we went to the smoking gazebo. I asked her whe
re she learned these things that she was telling me about, no one ever understoo
d and gave me tips that helped.
Then she told me about reddit. And about a few subs that are primarily for women
, to discuss anything, and a lot of women talked about these coping skills to co
pe after rape and domestic violence. I felt sad suddenly, and thought of the rap
e problem in the military. She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good
chance she had been raped. As she spoke, I thought of how bad she had it. Not on
ly did she have PTSD like me and so many other men do, but she had PTSD from get
ting raped by the very men that were supposed to have her back.
She told me about the online community that helps her more than the stupid group
therapy we all had to go to. So I have lurked on reddit for a while. But I want
ed to reach out and thank her, but no idea what her username is. I know she freq
uents subs like this that are aimed at women, so I was hoping that maybe she wou
ld see this and would know how much it meant to me that she helped me. If anyone
here knows of a female veteran that frequents here, let me know.
Mysterious woman from the VA, thank you so much. You helped me find a path to he
aling. And I hope you find this.
Edit: I made this post then took a nap. I checked reddit on my phone and noticed
the very overwhelming response. Thank you, to everyone, for your support. And I
think I may have found her! My apologies for not respondingnto most of you, som
etimes I find even interacting with strangers online can be very anxiety inducin
g so I tend to steer clear, which is why I took so long to even make an account
on here. But I appreciate the kindness; I was not expecting to get this kind of
response. Thank you.
And final edit: well, found her. And, that is all. Being able to talk with her a
gain is great, and the positive response is nice, but the negative shit and the
insults being thrown and both her and I is very sad. I do not know why people mu
st hurt others when they are getting kind attention from others but I am told th

at is the way of Reddit. No, we will not be dating, she has a boyfriend which I
knew because he was there when I first met her. Tomorrow we are meeting for lunc
h, maybe she will post pics of it. I thought this would be fun and exciting but
with the negativity I am dreading even coming on reddit again. So, if she wants
to post pics tomorrow that will be up to her.
323 commentsshare
all 323 comments
sorted by: best
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1270 points 12 hours ago*
So, I passed this post by with an upvote and moved on. I was watching TV and it
clicked.
Was this at the VA in Loma Linda, CA?
And I appreciate the gold, guys, but please do not gild me anymore. I get the se
ntiment, but please, give it to someone else. I have no use for it.
permalink
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 518 points 11 hours ago
Yes! The VA in Loma Linda! Sorry I took so long to respond, I made this post, th
en took my meds and ended up passing out. Is this you?
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 141 points 11 hours ago
I hope so, this is one of the best things I've read in a while.
permalinkparent
[ ]joethomma 71 points 7 hours ago
It was all made possible by /u/bloody_twat_rag
permalinkparent
[ ]AcknowledgeTheLlama 17 points 6 hours ago
And her grandmothers cloves
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 117 points 11 hours ago
Oh. I am still new to this, I have only been lurking on reddit for a few weeks,
maybe. I did not know that.
permalink
[ ]tryingtomakeit9 74 points 11 hours ago
So...is it her?
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 210 points 10 hours ago
Yes it is her!
permalinkparent
[ ]bhamv 38 points 10 hours ago
Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]allygraceless 23 points 10 hours ago
This makes me so happy :)
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 22 points 8 hours ago
I love /u/bloody_twat_rag. She always has words of wisdom.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 10 points 7 hours ago
Is she well known on this site?
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 18 points 7 hours ago
I have no idea, but I find her name very memorable.
permalinkparent
[ ]A_Cylon_Raider 9 points 7 hours ago
Probably not, it's just a common thing people joke about here when really nice o
r helpful people have surprising or strange usernames.
permalinkparent
[ ]aazav 21 points 9 hours ago
Glad you found the woman who helped you.

Feel better and when you can, pass on the same help that she gave you.
Cheers.
permalinkparent
[ ]terriblecowgirl 12 points 10 hours ago
This is beautiful. I'm glad you found her!!! :)
permalinkparent
[ ]littlemissderpy 7 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]digitalyss 7 points 9 hours ago
Holy shit
permalinkparent
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 10 points 10 hours ago
They are apparently PMing right now, so... I think so?
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]your_ex_girlfriend- 40 points 11 hours ago
The MUA in me loves this cat eye and the TwoXer in me wants it to be her... even
if it is kind of weird to repost this album here...
permalink
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 40 points 10 hours ago
Tape. That is my secret here on the eye make up. Tape.
permalinkparent
[ ]Mojitana 6 points 8 hours ago
That's a really great tip. Thanks!
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 138 points 11 hours ago
Wow I look like shit in those pics.
permalink
[ ]LabGeeked 156 points 11 hours ago
Shaddap, you are lovely in every way.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 186 points 10 hours ago
Yes, she is as beautiful outside as she is on the inside.
permalinkparent
[ ]ilovegingermen 92 points 9 hours ago
peanut_butter_scotch and bloody_twat_rags - A Love Story
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 118 points 9 hours ago
Perhaps, but I am in a happy relationship with children. This could be the start
of a friendship, though.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 60 points 10 hours ago
Sorry, I honestly didn't think you looked bad and they were from the first post
with your face that I found. I was just trying to help u/peanut_butter_scotch, d
oesn't sound like he knows how to look at a users' profile.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 120 points 10 hours ago
Its OK, the pics are just not flattering because I posted them to MUA for CC. Me
and him are talking on fb messenger right now, I think he is a bit overwhelmed
and shocked by the response he got.
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 51 points 10 hours ago
Okay now that is just fantastic. Cheers to you for being the good person you nee
ded to be at the time you needed to be it. It sounds like you selflessly helped
a fellow human when it really mattered.
permalinkparent
[ ]HaloNinjee 12 points 9 hours ago
I <3 you.

I know of the typical subs like this but if you have some suggestions for more I
'm looking to show my wife around the friendlier side of reddit.
permalinkparent
[ ]itsme_eloise 16 points 9 hours ago
Hey there - what does your wife like? TwoX is good, /r/TrollXChromosomes is amaz
ing as is their brother sub /r/TrollYChromosome. I personally also like some sub
reddits aimed at improving my appearance that have a bit more of a feminine comm
unity like /r/MakeupAddiction, /r/SkincareAddiction and /r/HaircareScience. Depe
nding on what she likes, there's probably a subreddit for it!
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]cviwood 10 points 8 hours ago
I like the SFWPornNetwork. Also it is not porn, they are sub reddits with pretty
pretty pictures.
/r/AbandonedPorn has images like this old stairway.
Check the right columnfor related subreddits.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 5 points 9 hours ago
Twox, and if you look in the sidebar they have links for related subs. That is h
ow I navigate around.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 17 points 10 hours ago
So it is you? Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]marshmallowmermaid 7 points 9 hours ago
:) I'm glad you got to connect.
permalinkparent
[ ]KitsBeach 4 points 5 hours ago
I just want to say that I recognize your name from other lady-oriented subs and
I thought you always seemed like a swell gal. This post cements that!
permalinkparent
[ ]diestate_enter 3 points 8 hours ago
Ask him how he came up with his username.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 32 points 7 hours ago
Are you talking about me? This is the name my kid gave to my dog. I think it is
the name of a dog on a kid show. I'm not a creative person, and the name always
reminds me of my daughter and makes me smile.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]aazav 14 points 9 hours ago
Ahhh. You look fine.
Glad you took the time to help peanut_butter_scotch out.
You did good.
permalinkparent
[ ]6F6A9O9 16 points 9 hours ago
I think you're real pretty on the inside and on the outside. What we call "all t
he way pretty". You're all the way pretty.
permalinkparent
[ ]GreenlyRose 7 points 7 hours ago
Don't be silly, you look lovely in those pics! :-)
permalinkparent
[ ]Pandibabi 18 points 10 hours ago
Wow u r beautiful .. from another heterosexual female btw dont want to sound cre
epy ok
permalinkparent
[ ]screaming-trees 14 points 10 hours ago
wow i love the great attidfue in this subreddit 10/10
permalinkparent

[ ]darkshy 6 points 8 hours ago


I mean, it could be worse. You look fine. You could actually look like a bloody
twat rag though. That would be terrible.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
In my defense I am wearing a lot of make up in those well mostly eye make up, th
ey were posted to makeupaddiction
permalinkparent
[ ]PushitClaw -2 points 6 hours ago
Just breathe...
permalinkparent
[ ]houseofbacon 12 points 11 hours ago
We must know if its a match. The suspense is thicker than my backup jar of peanu
t butter.
permalinkparent
[ ]Nozphexezora 10 points 11 hours ago
WooOOOooo. Lucky you! I've had a similar situation once, but about drug addictio
n. She never came back.
permalinkparent
[ ]BloodGuts_AngelCake 10 points 9 hours ago
I don't know why but this brought a tear to my eye. It's nice to see there are k
ind people in this world.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ask_Me_What_Love_Is 6 points 6 hours ago
Hey pbs. I'm not her nor a veteran but I've had my fair share of woes and work i
n the loma Linda area (redlands) and if you ever need someone to catch a smoke o
r talk with, grab a beer or lunch with I am here. Just pm me and let me know.
permalinkparent
[ ]kaleybrennan 4 points 8 hours ago
hey idk if you'll see this but you should do a full tutorial of how you did that
makeup. and show what kind you use <3
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 13 points 7 hours ago
I think this was directed at the wrong person.
permalinkparent
[ ]Call_me_Kelly [score hidden] 1 hour ago
If there is a vet center near you I highly recommend checking them out.
http://www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
They specialize in ptsd and reintigration. When the VA became impossible for me
to go to because the noise, the people, and many bad experiences caused me to ha
ve panic attacks any time I entered I began going to the vet center for ptsd hel
p instead.
The atmosphere at my local vet center was awesome. The counselor I saw also help
ed me by creating scripts of what I needed to say to my pdoc and would message h
er on my behalf occasionally.
Also I began teleconference appointments with my va pdoc from a local outpatient
VA clinic. I didn't have the stress of going back into the VA and it allowed me
to tweak and adjust my meds when needed.
If you have nightmares, talk to a pdoc about prazosin. It helps reduce the whole
waking up flooded with adrenalin from nightmares thing. http://www.webmd.com/ato-z-guides/prazosin-for-ptsd
Also, the va prescribed me Xanax for anxiety for two years. If it's prescribed l
ong term for you talk to your doc about longterm side effects. I became full blo
wn agorophobic on it and it took away a year of my life. Imagine my anger when I
learner the va was supposed to have moved away from prescribing it long term du
e to terrible side effects years BEFORE they prescribed it to me.
/r/veterans is a pretty cool subreddit if you've never been.
I so glad someone was able to give you a stepping stone towards healing. I keep
pictures of my kids in my wallet to help ground me during panic attacks. I also
highly recommend changing the immediate surroundings. Leave the room or building

when one starts and it can sometimes help reduce the damage.
Kelly
permalinkparent
[ ]lawdudette -2 points 6 hours ago
/r/bestof!!!!!!
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 12 points 6 hours ago
I hope not I can not handle the harassment I'm not logging in again this is it I
am done
permalinkparent
[ ]PM_ME_TITS_MLADY 12 points 4 hours ago
Sigh, the internet is for everyone. But that's precisely the reason why sometime
s it's not for everyone.
Reddit is one of those places.
I wish you all the best, focus on the positive, always. It'll help at times, I p
romise.
permalinkparent
[ ]CochinBrahmaLover 2 points 3 hours ago
You can delete your account.
Go to preferences and there's an option to delete.
permalinkparent
[+] (1 child)
[ ]Notasurgeon 30 points 11 hours ago
Hey, I was working there today. What a coincidence.
permalinkparent
[ ]jonnyk354 -4 points 6 hours ago
Can you confirm that this event occurred?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Read the post. Did not say it happened today. It happened at the beginning of th
e month.
permalinkparent
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (4 children)
[ ]LoCHiF 22 points 10 hours ago
Gold is largely a donation to reddit. No-one really uses it.
permalinkparent
[ ]DarlinUntitled18 7 points 5 hours ago
I like to think of it somewhat symbolically, as in "Someone made a donation to R
eddit in your name!" sort of like, this comment, this person, or this content is
what I want to see on Reddit. People guild her because she is the kind of perso
n they want their user base to be, and they're proud to use the same website as
her.
permalinkparent
[ ]LoCHiF 3 points 2 hours ago
Agreed. It's a combination of a super emphatic upvote and the donation to reddit
as a sort of "yay reddit!" gesture.
permalinkparent
[ ]DiffidentDissident 9 points 10 hours ago
Hey, thanks for looking out for OP. I think that makes you pretty great.
permalinkparent
[ ]Drachte 17 points 11 hours ago
Op pls
permalinkparent
[ ]rightioushippie 7 points 8 hours ago
so what were the subreddits that helped you find coping mechanisms?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 11 points 8 hours ago
Twox, actually. I had made a post a while ago about being trigger by a video I s
aw of animal abuse that triggered flashbacks from sexual abuse in my childhood a
nd a lot of people gave me grounding tips.

permalinkparent
[ ]King_Penguin_IV [score hidden] 49 minutes ago
What grounding tips helped you the most?
permalinkparent
[ ]wibblywobblychilango 5 points 10 hours ago
Holy shit, things like this are why I love reddit so much! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]monkeiboi 8 points 10 hours ago
ignore her! Everyone gild her!
permalinkparent
[ ]MultiversEngineer 3 points 2 hours ago
Air Force vet here. I have PTSD with panic disorder.
This post is amazing to me. I can appreciate anyone who helps their fellow vets.
I am still in the process of gaining control over my own panic problems. Any ad
vice would be greatly appreciated.
PS: I am currently in school and was also diagnosed with ADD recently. The last
two years have just been a wreck.
permalinkparent
[ ]Defeat 3 points 4 hours ago
Hey there. If it makes you feel better: reddit runs very few ads. Criminally few
. This site was hemorrhaging money, and it probably still is. A few years ago (h
onestly I can't remember reddit time just sort of blurs together for me) reddit
was plagued by serve issues. Nothing would work or load. Then some genius invent
ed reddit gold. Or maybe it was mold first. Either way reddit was saved. Gold is
a donation more to the site we all mooch off of, and is definitely not a reward
for you being amazing. Also panic attacks fucking suck so thank you for helping
that guy out .
permalinkparent
[ ]MrFeles [score hidden] 58 minutes ago
Goddamnit. Read story, imagine some sort of fancy saint. Man calls out to the cr
owd, will she reveal herself?
Blood twat rag emerges.
What a strange mixture of emotions.
Also slightly relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2CWsqGFgkA
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey -2 points 7 hours ago
Weird, I guess you live in Riverside? What are the odds you would live in the sa
me county as myself.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Well, seeing that the Loma Linda VA is used by both Riverside and San Bernardino
Counties, and considering how vast both of those counties are, plus people from
other counties who use that VA because they do not want to go to the others in
LA Jolla or Long Beach due to distance or whatever reasons, it is not so unlikel
y.
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey 4 points 6 hours ago
Well, even though I'm technically a veteran now, I've never had a reason to visi
t the VA and fortunately do not have any problems with PTSD or anything of that
nature. (Depression, but nothing related to my time in).
Plus, I just moved here, so I thought that was interesting.
Either way, best of luck to you. I'm sorry your time in had some truly shitty mo
ments, for lack of a better phrase. I'm sure you're aware, but most of us are ag
ainst that shit. At least, I hope.
permalinkparent
[+]apologies-in-advance comment score below threshold (0 children)
[ ]Walkingonadream7 -1 points 3 hours ago
You can use it to buy some wax for your cross
permalinkparent
[+] (6 children)

[ ]RediscoveredIllusion 53 points 12 hours ago


I have PTSD as well, from abuse situations like so many others here. I am so gla
d someone came along to help you cope. I had forgotten about grounding myself th
is way and reading your post for her... Well, whomever she is, if she finds this
, thank you from me as well.
permalink
[ ]Ivyleaguehandjob 185 points 13 hours ago
My father is a Korean War vet. We sat watching TV and the (new) Wounded Warrior
Project donation commercial comes on and my dad gets very angry. These commercia
ls are on par if not emotionally worse than the starving children and beaten dog
commercials.
We have done something very wrong to our veterans. There should be no need for c
harities like this. NO charities targeting veterans in need of food, clothing, s
helter, education, job training and more.
WWP Purpose:
To raise awareness and enlist the public's aid for the needs of injured service
members.
My father says "NO, that's our governments job, our employer!"
permalink
[ ]athingz 39 points 11 hours ago*
job training and more.
As an Iraq veteran that can't even seem to get a job interview at Walmart, I'm s
tarting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm not sure I have PTSD from my service, but about 8 years later when I finally
went in to a sliding scale clinic for depression symptoms and inability to conc
entrate/study (failing school), they called it "survivor's guilt". I wish it was
my truck that got hit. I volunteered for every convoy after that. Never heard o
f survivor's guilt until I was out for 8 years.
Never used the VA before. Not even sure where to start or where they're located.
I just learned a couple months ago you don't have to be a 20 year vet or have a
disability % to qualify, apparently. All third-hand knowledge. I thought you co
uld only use them for stuff that happened while in, and there's no proof of anyt
hing health related on military record. I've seen my folder right before ETS.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 39 points 10 hours ago
You can use the VA for medical care, even if you do not have a disability claim.
You just need to have served 180 days active service. Go to a local VA with you
r 214 and fill out some paperwork, you can usually be seen right away.
permalinkparent
[ ]panthera213 8 points 9 hours ago
Does your VA offer the chance to look at having service animals? My boyfriend is
in the CF and some of the guys here have gotten service animals to help them wi
th their PTSD. I know that it's been a comfort to them, or at least maybe anothe
r avenue to explore to help you out. Hope you are feeling better.
permalinkparent
[ ]IT_is_not_all_I_am 10 points 8 hours ago
Yeah, I know a guy that breeds and trains dogs for Rebuilding Warriors. I know h
e's trained them for folks with PTSD, but no idea how that organization selects
recipients. Might be worth looking into.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
Or, find someone that gets rescue dogs and trains them instead of dogs that were
bred just for.
permalinkparent
[ ]asianfromamerica 1 point 6 hours ago
SO ARE YOU THE WOMAN THAT HELPED THIS MAN? You are amazing I hope you realize th
at.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1 point 5 hours ago
No. I'm not. I'm average at best.

permalinkparent
[ ]darkangl187 7 points 8 hours ago
the VA is for those who served and discharged honorably, service connection or n
ot. please check them out it sounds like you need to consider service connection
for your survivors guilt.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 7 points 8 hours ago
Not just an honorable discharge. As long as you did not receive a dishonorable.
General, GUH, etc are accepted.
permalinkparent
[ ]Yeynna 4 points 6 hours ago
I'm starting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's the same for the unemployed, disable
d, and homeless who aren't veterans in the US (or anywhere else, I'm not America
n), I don't know what to say about everything else you faced because I can't ima
gine what living through it is like, but I want to say that no matter how much i
t seems like if you were suffering in the "right" way people would care more it'
s not true, it seems that way for everyone, but we're not alone in the facing th
is, and it's not your fault people are dismissing and scornful.
permalinkparent
[ ]Lots42 3 points 5 hours ago
www.211.org has lots of resourves for mental, physical and related help. Easy to
find lots and lots of stuff.
permalinkparent
[ ]preflop 3 points 2 hours ago
Hours late, but if you're having trouble getting things arranged, put in a call
to your local congressional office. You'll probably be assigned to a constituent
casework person and they'll put you in touch with who you need to talk to and w
here you need to go.
permalinkparent
[ ]mmm_toasty 19 points 12 hours ago
Hopefully at some point in the future the laws and regulations regarding providi
ng aid of all kinds to veterans in need will be fixed. For now though, as ways o
f acquiring the funding that the government fails to provide, I think that they
serve an important purpose.
permalinkparent
[ ]pmmesomeavocado 16 points 12 hours ago
The problem is that to do that, you need to raise taxes. And if you do that, you
're a freedom hating commie.
permalinkparent
[ ]bouncer4819 19 points 11 hours ago
Or we could just cut from our extremely overfunded defense budget, and reallocat
e those funds to actually help our vets
permalinkparent
[ ]vuhleeitee 0 points 4 hours ago
Yes. We should fire a whole bunch of people that are a few years away from retir
ement anyway. That makes complete sense.
You do realize that cutting the defense budget just means that it will create mo
re veterans who are at a loss for a stable source of income.
permalinkparent
[ ]tiehunter 3 points 4 hours ago
Or... Instead of buying jets that the military neither needs nor wants, we could
spend that money on veterans.
permalinkparent
[ ]athennna 8 points 11 hours ago
Or you need to better budget the tax revenue you already have.
permalinkparent
[ ]QuelqueChoseRose 0 points 2 hours ago
My understanding is that the V.A.'s fairly well-funded, nowadays. Relative to th
e rest of the federal government, at least. (Its funding's increased in years wh

en even Defense's was cut.) The problem's entirely administrative. It's a bureau
cratic nightmare, and no one's been able to solve it.
I think if a presidential candidate ran on a platform of simply making the feder
al government more efficient, they'd win easily. All the bickering about taxes a
nd spending, and we're still incredibly bad at doing what we want with the money
we tax and spend.
permalinkparent
[ ]hyene 9 points 11 hours ago
no, we don't need to raise taxes. we need to move from mathematically-illogical
capitalism to a scientifically-managed resource-based economy.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ruste 1 point 10 hours ago
Honestly curious, why should the government ever provide a service that is alrea
dy provided for by charities. Why force everyone to pay for something that peopl
e already give willingly to assuming that they provide enough. (I know they don'
t but according to OP there should be NO need for these charities as if it shoul
d be taken care of by the government regardless.)
permalinkparent
[ ]ggqq 7 points 10 hours ago
because there is a fine line we need to skate as a society between socialism and
capitalism to keep the employable people happy. If the government paid for ever
ything, we'd have incredibly high tax. This discourages people from working too
hard with tax brackets so you end up with nobody earning that much and an even h
igher tax because less people earn lots. What we need to do is convince rich peo
ple to be charitable (or rather, just tell rich people to give their money away
for free. I just solved the economic crisis. boom. you're welcome)
permalinkparent
[ ]Otto_Lidenbrock 6 points 9 hours ago
Except that tax brackets have never stopped anyone from making more money. Compl
ain about it, sure... But they still take the raise. It's a patently false argum
ent.
permalinkparent
[ ]undsowbe 10 points 8 hours ago
Your father as a Korean War Veteran would not qualify for the WWP program. Only
post 9/11 Vets qualify. Even at the VA, there are programs that my Vietnam-era h
usband does not qualify for (acupuncture being the most recent). The docs there
want the prestige and kudos that comes from treating recent Vets. It's the same
with the WWP. They know they can rake in the bucks if they play on public sentim
ent for post 9/11 Vets.
Never before have Veterans been excluded from programs based on the era they ser
ved in, until now.
TLDR: Fuck the WWP
permalinkparent
[ ]DrTypo 8 points 7 hours ago
WWP is also something that is wrong. Google wounded warrior project scam, and lo
ok at how much of the money that they collect actually goes to vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 160 points 14 hours ago
That is very sweet and I hope she sees this too! Best of luck on your journey an
d I am so sorry that as a nation we do so little for you and the other veterans.
Our system (what parts are not a clusterfuck) is frustrating at best and I am g
lad you find the courage every day to get up and navigate the system and your sy
mptoms, rather than letting the circumstances win. Hope she sees this! :)
permalink
[ ]mantiskiller 18 points 13 hours ago
I have very little knowledge of what the opportunities available for veterans bu
t always hear that it is inadequate. What improvements do you think the governme
nt could make?
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 29 points 12 hours ago

Well, (I'm assuming you are in the US) the system is just not streamlined and po
orly funded. You go for mental health help, there is no extra or quick he for pe
ople coming in while in crisis. Most get the same wait time as others. You go, y
ou sign up, and then you wait. Some people 6-8 weeks to be seen for someone who
sees you for 10 minutes to determine the meds you need and whether or not therap
y will help. Never mind med changes, trying to get refills. And you can forget h
ousing if you are homeless. Most VA houses/shelters are 30-50 beds and have wait
ing lists a mile long. We have homeless populations of mentally ill veterans who
, with the right meds and a few months of meals and a roof over their head would
be able to work some and get back on their feet. It's just a very broken, poorl
y funded, slow moving system and we as a country should be ashamed of ourselves.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster -3 points 12 hours ago
And you can forget housing if you are homeless.
That's why there is a pension program to give money to those that need it.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 16 points 12 hours ago
Yeah, but in some cases the money isn't enough or the application process is too
long and they are homeless before they get the money. Most homeless vets get mo
ney, its just not enough to live on and they aren't able to hold a job because t
hey can't get enough services to help their PTSD and resulting addictions. I was
a case worker for a veterans program for a year. I only lasted a year. It was t
he worst. The suicide rates, filling out paper work and seeing them be desperate
and only being able to say, 'well, I submitted it. we just have to wait.', not
having housing for them so at 5pm after hours of calling they were back out to w
ander another night on the streets. Ugh, I felt awful.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 21 points 12 hours ago
The pension program is only for vets with wartime service. Peacetime vets don't
have this fallback. Additionally, pension is only for those determined disabled.
There are some newer programs to combat homelessness for vets, but they depend
on location.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster 2 points 11 hours ago*
I'm just saying there is something, many people make it sound like there is no e
ffort at all. Homeless cases are a high priority. You sound like a VSR or VSO?
oh, ok, downvote me for thinking somebody sounds incredibly knowledgeable.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 12 points 11 hours ago
No. I'm a Legal Aid attorney who specializes in vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster 5 points 11 hours ago
Awesome. Nice to meet you.
permalinkparent
[ ]Sulde 37 points 12 hours ago
upvote for visibility.
and dude: when you are going through hell, keep on going. Never never never give
up.
permalink
[ ]endergrrl 36 points 12 hours ago
Female army vet here, though not the one you're looking for. Which VAMC were you
at? I'm glad someone helped you through that and that you found a safe and help
ful space here.
permalink
[ ]crouchtouchpause 32 points 12 hours ago
This is a beautiful post. All I can offer is that it does get better, and that a
nyone capable of writing such an emotionally honest post has already crossed mor
e bridges that most manage in a lifetime.
I hope she reads what you've written, but even if she doesn't you should know th
at many people have understood the sentiment and been moved by it.

permalink
[ ]mablesyrup 9 points 11 hours ago
Posts like this prove why today is the best monday of the year!
permalinkparent
[ ]Tonyman457 12 points 9 hours ago
This post has everything. The tragedy. The cry for help. The rocky montage at th
e VA where everything gets slightly better, but he looses his mentor somewhere.
Then, BAM! they rekindle!
The cherry on top is that her fuckin reddit ID is Bloody Twat Rag. Hits you with
the feels, then brings you back with some good ol' fashioned dark humor.
Most novels aren't this good.
permalinkparent
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
I read this in Stefon's voice :)
permalinkparent
[ ]Edrondol 33 points 6 hours ago
Marine vet here. No PTSD unless you count flashbacks of sitting in a storeroom f
or hours. But I wanted to pop in and say don't sweat the haters. Most of them ar
e just stupid kids trying to be edgy. The rest are assholes because they are ano
nymous and it's how they get their jollies. Just like the military, reddit has g
ood people and reddit has dicks. Unlike the military, you can completely ignore
the dicks here.
Don't know what branch you were in (I didn't read through everything), but I'm g
iving you a big Semper Fi anyway. Stay strong, brother.
permalink
[ ]spookyxskepticism 16 points 11 hours ago
Aaaaand I'm in tears. I'm so glad she was able to help you. Here's an upvote. Ho
pefully with enough of these she'll take notice and see your post! I'm so glad t
hat your experience has helped you on to the path of healing. Thank you so much
for your service <3
permalink
[ ]scarletdrive 3 points 9 hours ago
I needed a good cry today. Bless this post.
permalinkparent
[ ]faeriechyld 16 points 12 hours ago
I hope she gets your message of thanks even if she wants to remain anonymous. An
d I really really hope you start feeling better too. I wish I could do more than
offer internet hugs!
permalink
[ ]schweppesmeoffmyfeet 32 points 13 hours ago
This is why I love Reddit.
permalink
[ ]mightyflynn 14 points 12 hours ago
This is beautiful. I hope you are finding your ground.
permalink
[ ]anniebme 13 points 11 hours ago
Hi friend! I find having a smooth stone in my pocket helps. The stone reminds me
of chilling next to a river. I hope you find your mini-reminder, too!
I have found EMDR therapy rough to go through but helpful to process thoughts an
d memories. It may help you, too. It won't be easy but neither is what you are c
urrently dealing with.
permalink
[ ]BaronessUnderboob 11 points 8 hours ago
I use a piece of hematite sometimes, the weight feels nice in my hands. Though I
don't subscribe to that healing crystals stuff, I just like shiny rocks.
permalinkparent
[ ]anniebme 8 points 8 hours ago
Sounds like a great reminder to just be! Heavy enough to remind, light enough to
carry! Hematite just looks cool, too.
permalinkparent

[ ]DancingHeel 12 points 9 hours ago


I'm not her, but reading this has made me smile. I get down about working at VA
a lot - the bureaucracy and paperwork (and the sexual harassment from older Vets
) are really pushing me out the door. But I like the people I work with, and I k
now they really care about the wellbeing of Veterans. This is a great example of
that. Whether she was an employee or just a fellow Vet receiving services, ther
e are definitely good people in that crazy system.
To anyone else out there struggling with PTSD, other mental health concerns, or
service-related health issues - there is hope. Even when the VA gets horrible pr
ess, even when claims are backlogged - there are good people who want to help an
d are well-equipped to do so. If you haven't sought any help at the VA but you m
ight qualify for services, it's worth a shot. Don't give up. Every VA is, unfort
unately, very different in terms of quality. Shop around if you need to. It real
ly sucks that that's the way it is, because Veterans deserve better care. Govern
ment funding of Veteran services is extremely poor. But I have seen the efforts
of good people help change the system, slowly, from the inside.
permalink
[ ]paulb02 9 points 10 hours ago
This is a great story and I am happy you were able to find one of the good peopl
e at the VA. There is a lot of VA bashing and I understand it is not the best si
tuation for veterans, but some people at the VA do truly care about the Veterans
and their treatment and benefits. While my wife was not a vet herself, she work
s in the Comp and Pension section and deals primarily with the veterans via the
claims process. The Veterans rarely know the person behind the claim but she doe
s go that extra step whenever possible to ensure the claims are not jacked up.
permalink
[ ]TurdFergusonTheThird 10 points 9 hours ago
This post motivated me to join reddit. Long time listener first time poster here
.. Thanks for the energy.
permalink
[ ]TheRealFJ 15 points 6 hours ago
Dude please don't let the ass holes turn you away from Reddit. I get shit all th
e time for the smallest shit here but you need to know that those people are onl
y here to be mean...like the comments on YouTube.
permalink
[ ]Sector_805 23 points 11 hours ago
As a female who has served, I love this and hope she reads this.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
Thank you for your service, ma'am
permalinkparent
[ ]Bm1324 13 points 12 hours ago
Wow, I hope you are able to find her. As someone with PTSD, I find that even a l
ot of well-meaning people don't know what to say or do when I'm triggered or in
a difficult place. They do their best to use methods that they've seen or say th
ings like "It'll be alright," which aren't much help at the moment and too dista
nt for me to connect to. I like that she was real and helped to put you back int
o reality by grounding you in the current place and time. I'll have to remember
this as well :)
permalink
[ ]izzgo 24 points 13 hours ago
Upvoted so maybe she has a better chance to see this.
permalink
[ ]supersayanftw 5 points 12 hours ago
Please update, best of luck to you
permalink
[ ]devoted2mercury 7 points 12 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she sees this; Reddit is awesome.
permalink
[ ]Clayra 7 points 11 hours ago

I know first hand how trying it can be getting treatment from the VA. I sometime
s find that it's easier to go to one of the help desks and ask them to walk you
to wherever you want to go. It won't get you put to the front of the line, but I
've found that things tend to move more smoothly.
Like so much of government work it's just a big good-ole-boys club, and there's
a good chance that anyone working there has to at the very least be friendly wit
h everyone else if they have any hopes of staying.
permalink
[ ]BareKnuckleKitty 7 points 11 hours ago
This is so beautiful. Thank you for your service. I really hope she sees this!
permalink
[ ]petit_cochon 6 points 11 hours ago
Hey buddy, so glad this subreddit has helped you, and I hope it continues to hel
p you as you recover and heal.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 6 points 11 hours ago
OP, thank you for your service and sacrifice. Thanks also to the VA mystery woma
n for her service and sacrifice.
permalink
[ ]nerak1138 6 points 11 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she finds this, but even if she doesn't, she surely knows that s
he made a difference that day. Pay it forward, man. And keep your chin up. Lots
of love to you and all veterans.
permalink
[ ]GimmeMuchosMangos 8 points 11 hours ago
Good luck to you.
permalink
[ ]saraleecupcake 7 points 11 hours ago
Best of luck
permalink
[ ]theBIGnaudd 7 points 10 hours ago
Keep your head up brother! Look for a support group. The VA has resources and ca
n help find you a group to join. Stay strong! There are so many people out there
who care and want to help you out with your experiences.
permalink
[ ]rogue780 6 points 10 hours ago
/r/veterans has some good resources as well
permalink
[ ]SuperChubbs 7 points 8 hours ago
This is really special. I served on a submarine for 4 years getting out in 2012
and I had a hard time readjusting. PTSD and depression combined with feeling lik
e I never related to many other veterans because I served in a different environ
ment then most.
I know it isn't easy to help someone going through PTSD or a panic attack but i'
ve had a few people really come through for me when I needed it and I don't know
where i'd be if they hadn't. Now my life is so much brighter. :) Thank you so m
uch for stepping up and helping that guy, people like you are wonderful.
permalink
[ ]somegaychick 2 points 4 hours ago
I cant even begin to imagine what its like. Thank you for your service. <3
permalinkparent
[ ]SuperChubbs 1 point 3 hours ago
Thank you so much, it used to make me uncomfortable hearing that but it's kinda
nice now that i'm doing so much better :) You made my night.
permalinkparent
[ ]kawaii-throwaway 6 points 8 hours ago
This entire post v was beautiful beginning to end.
My ptsd is considered in remission but I still wear patchouli pull to remind me
of my grandmother. I also have a lyric from one of my favorite songs on my wrist
. Seeing the message (be patient) itself keeps me grounded but being reminded of

the song takes me back to awe inspiring memories that snap me right out of an e
pisode.
It's a magical feeling when you finally find coping mechanisms that actually hel
p. Every moment before that feels like a constant waking nightmare, a landmine o
f triggers, but once you find what works, it's as if a weight is lifted from you
.
permalink
[ ]Milagro_chef 21 points 13 hours ago
I have PTSD. Her definition is exact correct. Thank you.
permalink
[ ]I_require_answers 10 points 10 hours ago
It's disappointing, and sadly unsurprising, that none of the professionals you w
orked with at the VA taught you some grounding skills, I mean that's really trau
ma therapy 101. It makes me sad our vets don't get better treatment than that. A
nyway, glad you guys found each other, and thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]baconchief 5 points 10 hours ago
Thank you for your service Sir! I hope you regain control of your life and can l
ive on happily! Much respect.
permalink
[ ]nocomfychairs 6 points 9 hours ago
Thank you both for your service.
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]Hippiemamklp 5 points 8 hours ago
This made me tear up. I am sending huge cyber hugs to both of you! Sometimes hel
p comes in the most unlikely ways:-) Glad you are both getting help and I hope h
ealing.
permalink
[ ]ilokaners 6 points 7 hours ago
That's great. I wish you the best in healing. Sorry the VA doesn't help as much
as it should. I wish it would change but people like you and your friend are an
inspiration. Thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]squirtsmilk 5 points 7 hours ago
Thank you to our vets.. And to kind and compassionate people .... They make the
world safe for us all.
permalink
[ ]Noculum 7 points 6 hours ago
This warmed my heart. What a lovely story.
permalink
[ ]MonkeyNacho 7 points 6 hours ago
Thank you both for your service. I hope she, and the rest of us here on Reddit,
can help you find a road to inner peace.
permalink
[ ]Lots42 17 points 6 hours ago
You're on a woman-friendly sub-reddit that ended up on /r/all. That's why there'
s some negativity floating to the surface. /r/all is full of jackasses who can't
deal with the fact woman-friendly sub-reddits exist.

Or that women exist.


permalink
[ ]chocobodanger 8 points 7 hours ago
I have PTSD as well from rape. I have been diagnosed but the "system" here has f
ailed me by not getting me treatment needed (saw a counselor, put on depression/
anxiety meds, told I would have therapy and have not seen another counselor sinc
e?) You inadvertently helped me cope just by posting what she had told you.
permalink
[ ]txdahlia 10 points 6 hours ago
Unfortunately social media can bring out the dark side of those to impotent to s
how it in their daily lives because they fear repercussions, so they use an anon
ymous faceless version of themselves and pretend to be a bad ass. You are worthy
of happiness and peace after your great sacrifice. Don't let others put you dow
n.
permalink
[ ]dftexas165 5 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaay! The power of reddit. Glad you found her! I appreciate your service too b
uddy. I really hope you learn how to deal with you're issues brought on by your
experiences at war.
permalink
[ ]lotsofsippycups 4 points 9 hours ago
Aww I'm so glad you found her! :)
permalink
[ ]Ammoholic 3 points 8 hours ago
My dad is a doctor who treats ptsd at that va. Ask to see Dr goldstein. He will
help you for sure!
permalink
[ ]soitgoes182 4 points 8 hours ago
This is fucking beautiful!!
permalink
[ ]liesforliars 4 points 7 hours ago
I'm so happy you found her, man !! The internet can be wonderful..
permalink
[ ]dontdid 5 points 7 hours ago
This is so touching. Thank you both for your service and compassion. I hope you
find relief from what haunts you.
permalink
[ ]TheRainMonster 4 points 7 hours ago
Scotch tastes like peanut butter to you, too?
permalink
[ ]Soxbee 5 points 7 hours ago
It's amazing how one person can really make a difference! I'm so glad you found
her again!
My heart goes out to all of the veterans. I want to hug you all and offer any su
pport I can for what you've been through.
permalink
[ ]jschlik 3 points 6 hours ago*
Glad you found her. Thanks for the humbling and inspiring post.
I dont know if anyone has already mentioned this but Vital Warrior (vitalwarrior
.org) could be a great resource for those suffering from mental illness. I reall
y like what they are doing to help Vets.
permalink
[ ]_Rootshell_ 13 points 11 hours ago
Peanut butter scotch, meet bloody twat rag. A match made in heaven.
permalink
[ ]Upam 8 points 11 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection, if this gets enough upvotes and stays on the m
ain page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story. Best of luck to
the op
permalink

[ ]aazav 4 points 9 hours ago


Be good man, be good.
permalink
[ ]cannedbread1 3 points 2 hours ago
I am so glad that there was a lifeline out there for you at the perfect time. I
am so very sad for negative comments you are getting. Some people truly are arse
hats.
permalink
[ ]TabulaRasaNot [score hidden] 33 minutes ago
You folks with the negative comments to which OP refers, the ones pushing him ba
ck into himself, shame on you. You make me wish karma was real.
permalink
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 8 points 13 hours ago
Upboats
permalink
[ ]saralt 5 points 11 hours ago
And many more boats.
permalinkparent
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 3 points 7 hours ago
best part is they found each other :)
permalinkparent
[ ]theclassywino 4 points 7 hours ago
You're a hero, best of luck to you. Thank you for serving.
permalink
[ ]ArcheryHunter4Life 4 points 5 hours ago
I just wanted to say thank you for stepping up and posting this, it is so touchi
ng. It is incredibly brave of you and I'm sorry for all that you've been through
and for all of the rude people on this site. I will probably never experience w
hat you have been through. I hope you find yourself healed and happy in the futu
re. Most especially, thank you for your service.
permalink
[ ]Code_NY [score hidden] 1 hour ago
I'm sorry you've had to read through negative responses to this post. It's the d
ownside of open forum on the Internet. Just let them wash over you and concentra
te on the good ones, which are plentiful.
I hope things get better for you soon and I'm glad you've managed to reconnect w
ith her :)
permalink
[ ]CrackpotPatriot [score hidden] 34 minutes ago
Takes a lot of courage to reach out a thank you on the interwebz -especially red
dit. Well done. Thank yous are just too rare in this world.
permalink
[ ]NejKidd 6 points 12 hours ago
Can't wait to see the response on /r/bestof
permalink
[ ]Honkbag 10 points 11 hours ago
Not to be "that guy" in an otherwise supportive thread, but breathing/mindfulnes
s meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therapies for panic attack
s. That's science. that's why the counselors likely repeated it.
Im sorry you didnt feel heard, OP, and the psychological empathy With someone pe
rceived/identified as previously traumatized now wise and mentoring seems helpfu
l to you. Also, the act of smoking mimics controlled breathing which contrasts w
ith either the feeling of suffocation or hyperventilation in panic. The peer sim
ply stated things in a different way that resonated based on shared experience.
That also is important...oftentimes people in therapy perceive that therapists "
don't understand" what they've been through, and therefore arent able to help th
em because they havent been through "the same thing". Fact is, even two people i
n the same fight wont experience the situation exactly the same. But that's not
the point. The point is that In addition to wanting to feel understood, OP, you
needed to know you're not alone, and you needed to see someone actively coping a

nd recovering.
Do what works for you OP...but try not to throw the baby out with the bath water
. You may have valid reasons for anger at the VA (and what psychological role th
ey play in the trauma experience) but those techniques are indeed helpful with c
ontinued practice. Maybe it just needed to be explained differently or in more d
epth (other than "just breathe"...which may come across as dismissive). use all
the resources (however limited) you have at your disposal and let your therapst
know what makes you mad.
Good luck.
permalink
[ ]waitwuh 16 points 9 hours ago
breathing/mindfulness meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therap
ies for panic attacks
Perhaps the little trinket or "reminder" is more helpful to mindfulness than jus
t telling somebody to breath.
permalinkparent
[ ]notteoscura 9 points 9 hours ago
I think the clutch is that she could meet him on his level of breathing alone no
t being enough. Some people can breathe their way out of a panic attack. Others
can't. But yes, science does show breathing to be beneficial.
permalinkparent
[ ]3jt 10 points 6 hours ago
Mindful breathing is a grounding technique. However, therapists usually don't te
ll you that, and if they do they don't emphasize the "why". They just say to bre
athe. If you're hyperventilating, and someone says "breathe", that's fucking stu
pid. What is helpful is to focus on something other than the fact that you're ha
ving a panic attack. Ritual activities like cigarette smoking are helpful. So is
mindful breathing. It's the mindful part that helps.
permalinkparent
[ ]PurpleMentat [score hidden] 1 hour ago
So much this. Breathing without grounding is pointless. Grounding is the point o
f slow, deep, fully exhaled breathing.
permalinkparent
[ ]Launchfit 3 points 8 hours ago
You may not even see this comment, but I highly recommend you try using medical
marijuana to help treat your PTSD. I'm not here trying to persuade you to try a
drug you may not have any knowledge of, but in my experience, it has had a treme
ndous benefit to veterans with PTSD. My brother served in Iraq for 3 years and r
eturned home with severe PTSD. After countless weeks of taking drugs that had no
real benefit whatsoever, he tried medical marijuana. Ever since he indulged in
weed, his condition has improved substantially and his PTSD symptoms seem to les
sen every day. Again, weed isn't for everyone and I'm not sitting here telling y
ou it's a magical drug that will completely cure you. I'm simply suggesting some
thing that could be of great use to you and potentially benefit you. Best of luc
k, and thank you for serving our country.
permalink
[ ]persnipboobiees 3 points 8 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection.. if this gets enough upvotes + stays on the ma
in page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story: best of luck to
the op.
permalink
[ ]LaughingJackass 2 points 5 hours ago
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Wanted to say just this.
permalink
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ]LadyLavaLamp -4 points 10 hours ago
bloody_twat_rag and peanut_butter_scotch forever! I SHIP IT
permalink
[+] (13 children)

[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 50 minutes ago


I am a vet as well and im going through similar issues but one of your comments
is a little out of line.
" She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good chance she had been raped
."
Thats B/S, sorry to be the negative one in the party.
Thats like saying "Every wife of a soldier that stayed near base cheated on thei
r husband while they were deployed because all women are scandalous."
Obviously not true,
Just because its the army doesn't make them rapist and baby killers.
Please understand im not harassing you. Thats the kind of blanket statement that
could set others off, like me and my response....
permalink
[ ]Commando_Girl [score hidden] 36 minutes ago
Ummmm. There's a big difference between "good chance" and "every".
You have issues if you really don't see the difference between the two.
permalinkparent
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 31 minutes ago
Right but my point is both statements are false.
permalinkparent
[ ] 9 hours ago
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ] 7 hours ago
[+] (7 children)
[+] (15 children)
[ ] 2 hours ago
[ ]heatheranne[M] [score hidden] 1 hour ago
Be nice or go away.
permalink
[+] (2 children)
[+]Lonsdaleite comment score below threshold (1 child)
[+] (1 child)
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (6 children)
[+] (10 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+]nickbernstein comment score below threshold (2 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+] (2 children)
[+] (1 child)
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submitted 14 hours ago * by peanut_butter_scotch
I am a male, and a combat veteran. I was doing well mentally for a while, under
the care of doctors and taking medication for PTSD and depression. One day, I we
nt to the VA to see my doctor and pick up meds. I was not doing well, a divorce
and financial problems had triggered my PTSD. And the VA was very crowded that d
ay. I was just trying to get meds at the pharmacy so I could go hone, but it was
so packed full of people and everyone was so rude and loud that I was having a
full on panic attack. I sat against a wall, shaking and in tears. Then, she stoo
d next to me.
She asked me when I got back. Fellow veterans always can tell when someone is fr
esh from the combat zone, and I know I appeared that way. I told her I had been
back for a few years but I was not doing well. And I just broke down. She listen
ed as I vented about the clusterfuck of rude people, and how I could not calm do
wn. I said, "I know, I am just supposed to fucking breathe, right?" That is what
the counselors at the VA always said. Just breathe, it will be okay.
"No." She said. "That is fucking pointless. Breathing will not help you right no
w. You are having a present reaction to a problem from the past. Right now, you
need to ground yourself and get out of the fear loop so you can calm down and be
gin to relax."
I asked, how do I do that? She told me about how everyone has something differen
t to ground them. Something comforting, something that triggers endorphins and h
appy memories. She said, she has a bottle of clove extract in her pocket, the sm
ell reminds her of her grandmother.
I began thinking of what I could use. She asked me if I wanted to go have a smok
e with her outside, and I did, so we went to the smoking gazebo. I asked her whe
re she learned these things that she was telling me about, no one ever understoo

d and gave me tips that helped.


Then she told me about reddit. And about a few subs that are primarily for women
, to discuss anything, and a lot of women talked about these coping skills to co
pe after rape and domestic violence. I felt sad suddenly, and thought of the rap
e problem in the military. She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good
chance she had been raped. As she spoke, I thought of how bad she had it. Not on
ly did she have PTSD like me and so many other men do, but she had PTSD from get
ting raped by the very men that were supposed to have her back.
She told me about the online community that helps her more than the stupid group
therapy we all had to go to. So I have lurked on reddit for a while. But I want
ed to reach out and thank her, but no idea what her username is. I know she freq
uents subs like this that are aimed at women, so I was hoping that maybe she wou
ld see this and would know how much it meant to me that she helped me. If anyone
here knows of a female veteran that frequents here, let me know.
Mysterious woman from the VA, thank you so much. You helped me find a path to he
aling. And I hope you find this.
Edit: I made this post then took a nap. I checked reddit on my phone and noticed
the very overwhelming response. Thank you, to everyone, for your support. And I
think I may have found her! My apologies for not respondingnto most of you, som
etimes I find even interacting with strangers online can be very anxiety inducin
g so I tend to steer clear, which is why I took so long to even make an account
on here. But I appreciate the kindness; I was not expecting to get this kind of
response. Thank you.
And final edit: well, found her. And, that is all. Being able to talk with her a
gain is great, and the positive response is nice, but the negative shit and the
insults being thrown and both her and I is very sad. I do not know why people mu
st hurt others when they are getting kind attention from others but I am told th
at is the way of Reddit. No, we will not be dating, she has a boyfriend which I
knew because he was there when I first met her. Tomorrow we are meeting for lunc
h, maybe she will post pics of it. I thought this would be fun and exciting but
with the negativity I am dreading even coming on reddit again. So, if she wants
to post pics tomorrow that will be up to her.
323 commentsshare
all 323 comments
sorted by: best
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1270 points 12 hours ago*
So, I passed this post by with an upvote and moved on. I was watching TV and it
clicked.
Was this at the VA in Loma Linda, CA?
And I appreciate the gold, guys, but please do not gild me anymore. I get the se
ntiment, but please, give it to someone else. I have no use for it.
permalink
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 518 points 11 hours ago
Yes! The VA in Loma Linda! Sorry I took so long to respond, I made this post, th
en took my meds and ended up passing out. Is this you?
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 141 points 11 hours ago
I hope so, this is one of the best things I've read in a while.
permalinkparent
[ ]joethomma 71 points 7 hours ago
It was all made possible by /u/bloody_twat_rag
permalinkparent
[ ]AcknowledgeTheLlama 17 points 6 hours ago
And her grandmothers cloves
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 117 points 11 hours ago
Oh. I am still new to this, I have only been lurking on reddit for a few weeks,
maybe. I did not know that.
permalink

[ ]tryingtomakeit9 74 points 11 hours ago


So...is it her?
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 210 points 10 hours ago
Yes it is her!
permalinkparent
[ ]bhamv 38 points 10 hours ago
Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]allygraceless 23 points 10 hours ago
This makes me so happy :)
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 22 points 8 hours ago
I love /u/bloody_twat_rag. She always has words of wisdom.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 10 points 7 hours ago
Is she well known on this site?
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 18 points 7 hours ago
I have no idea, but I find her name very memorable.
permalinkparent
[ ]A_Cylon_Raider 9 points 7 hours ago
Probably not, it's just a common thing people joke about here when really nice o
r helpful people have surprising or strange usernames.
permalinkparent
[ ]aazav 21 points 9 hours ago
Glad you found the woman who helped you.
Feel better and when you can, pass on the same help that she gave you.
Cheers.
permalinkparent
[ ]terriblecowgirl 12 points 10 hours ago
This is beautiful. I'm glad you found her!!! :)
permalinkparent
[ ]littlemissderpy 7 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]digitalyss 7 points 9 hours ago
Holy shit
permalinkparent
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 10 points 10 hours ago
They are apparently PMing right now, so... I think so?
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]your_ex_girlfriend- 40 points 11 hours ago
The MUA in me loves this cat eye and the TwoXer in me wants it to be her... even
if it is kind of weird to repost this album here...
permalink
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 40 points 10 hours ago
Tape. That is my secret here on the eye make up. Tape.
permalinkparent
[ ]Mojitana 6 points 8 hours ago
That's a really great tip. Thanks!
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 138 points 11 hours ago
Wow I look like shit in those pics.
permalink
[ ]LabGeeked 156 points 11 hours ago
Shaddap, you are lovely in every way.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 186 points 10 hours ago

Yes, she is as beautiful outside as she is on the inside.


permalinkparent
[ ]ilovegingermen 92 points 9 hours ago
peanut_butter_scotch and bloody_twat_rags - A Love Story
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 118 points 9 hours ago
Perhaps, but I am in a happy relationship with children. This could be the start
of a friendship, though.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 60 points 10 hours ago
Sorry, I honestly didn't think you looked bad and they were from the first post
with your face that I found. I was just trying to help u/peanut_butter_scotch, d
oesn't sound like he knows how to look at a users' profile.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 120 points 10 hours ago
Its OK, the pics are just not flattering because I posted them to MUA for CC. Me
and him are talking on fb messenger right now, I think he is a bit overwhelmed
and shocked by the response he got.
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 51 points 10 hours ago
Okay now that is just fantastic. Cheers to you for being the good person you nee
ded to be at the time you needed to be it. It sounds like you selflessly helped
a fellow human when it really mattered.
permalinkparent
[ ]HaloNinjee 12 points 9 hours ago
I <3 you.
I know of the typical subs like this but if you have some suggestions for more I
'm looking to show my wife around the friendlier side of reddit.
permalinkparent
[ ]itsme_eloise 16 points 9 hours ago
Hey there - what does your wife like? TwoX is good, /r/TrollXChromosomes is amaz
ing as is their brother sub /r/TrollYChromosome. I personally also like some sub
reddits aimed at improving my appearance that have a bit more of a feminine comm
unity like /r/MakeupAddiction, /r/SkincareAddiction and /r/HaircareScience. Depe
nding on what she likes, there's probably a subreddit for it!
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]cviwood 10 points 8 hours ago
I like the SFWPornNetwork. Also it is not porn, they are sub reddits with pretty
pretty pictures.
/r/AbandonedPorn has images like this old stairway.
Check the right columnfor related subreddits.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 5 points 9 hours ago
Twox, and if you look in the sidebar they have links for related subs. That is h
ow I navigate around.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 17 points 10 hours ago
So it is you? Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]marshmallowmermaid 7 points 9 hours ago
:) I'm glad you got to connect.
permalinkparent
[ ]KitsBeach 4 points 5 hours ago
I just want to say that I recognize your name from other lady-oriented subs and
I thought you always seemed like a swell gal. This post cements that!
permalinkparent
[ ]diestate_enter 3 points 8 hours ago

Ask him how he came up with his username.


permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 32 points 7 hours ago
Are you talking about me? This is the name my kid gave to my dog. I think it is
the name of a dog on a kid show. I'm not a creative person, and the name always
reminds me of my daughter and makes me smile.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]aazav 14 points 9 hours ago
Ahhh. You look fine.
Glad you took the time to help peanut_butter_scotch out.
You did good.
permalinkparent
[ ]6F6A9O9 16 points 9 hours ago
I think you're real pretty on the inside and on the outside. What we call "all t
he way pretty". You're all the way pretty.
permalinkparent
[ ]GreenlyRose 7 points 7 hours ago
Don't be silly, you look lovely in those pics! :-)
permalinkparent
[ ]Pandibabi 18 points 10 hours ago
Wow u r beautiful .. from another heterosexual female btw dont want to sound cre
epy ok
permalinkparent
[ ]screaming-trees 14 points 10 hours ago
wow i love the great attidfue in this subreddit 10/10
permalinkparent
[ ]darkshy 6 points 8 hours ago
I mean, it could be worse. You look fine. You could actually look like a bloody
twat rag though. That would be terrible.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
In my defense I am wearing a lot of make up in those well mostly eye make up, th
ey were posted to makeupaddiction
permalinkparent
[ ]PushitClaw -2 points 6 hours ago
Just breathe...
permalinkparent
[ ]houseofbacon 12 points 11 hours ago
We must know if its a match. The suspense is thicker than my backup jar of peanu
t butter.
permalinkparent
[ ]Nozphexezora 10 points 11 hours ago
WooOOOooo. Lucky you! I've had a similar situation once, but about drug addictio
n. She never came back.
permalinkparent
[ ]BloodGuts_AngelCake 10 points 9 hours ago
I don't know why but this brought a tear to my eye. It's nice to see there are k
ind people in this world.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ask_Me_What_Love_Is 6 points 6 hours ago
Hey pbs. I'm not her nor a veteran but I've had my fair share of woes and work i
n the loma Linda area (redlands) and if you ever need someone to catch a smoke o
r talk with, grab a beer or lunch with I am here. Just pm me and let me know.
permalinkparent
[ ]kaleybrennan 4 points 8 hours ago
hey idk if you'll see this but you should do a full tutorial of how you did that
makeup. and show what kind you use <3
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 13 points 7 hours ago

I think this was directed at the wrong person.


permalinkparent
[ ]Call_me_Kelly [score hidden] 1 hour ago
If there is a vet center near you I highly recommend checking them out.
http://www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
They specialize in ptsd and reintigration. When the VA became impossible for me
to go to because the noise, the people, and many bad experiences caused me to ha
ve panic attacks any time I entered I began going to the vet center for ptsd hel
p instead.
The atmosphere at my local vet center was awesome. The counselor I saw also help
ed me by creating scripts of what I needed to say to my pdoc and would message h
er on my behalf occasionally.
Also I began teleconference appointments with my va pdoc from a local outpatient
VA clinic. I didn't have the stress of going back into the VA and it allowed me
to tweak and adjust my meds when needed.
If you have nightmares, talk to a pdoc about prazosin. It helps reduce the whole
waking up flooded with adrenalin from nightmares thing. http://www.webmd.com/ato-z-guides/prazosin-for-ptsd
Also, the va prescribed me Xanax for anxiety for two years. If it's prescribed l
ong term for you talk to your doc about longterm side effects. I became full blo
wn agorophobic on it and it took away a year of my life. Imagine my anger when I
learner the va was supposed to have moved away from prescribing it long term du
e to terrible side effects years BEFORE they prescribed it to me.
/r/veterans is a pretty cool subreddit if you've never been.
I so glad someone was able to give you a stepping stone towards healing. I keep
pictures of my kids in my wallet to help ground me during panic attacks. I also
highly recommend changing the immediate surroundings. Leave the room or building
when one starts and it can sometimes help reduce the damage.
Kelly
permalinkparent
[ ]lawdudette -2 points 6 hours ago
/r/bestof!!!!!!
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 12 points 6 hours ago
I hope not I can not handle the harassment I'm not logging in again this is it I
am done
permalinkparent
[ ]PM_ME_TITS_MLADY 12 points 4 hours ago
Sigh, the internet is for everyone. But that's precisely the reason why sometime
s it's not for everyone.
Reddit is one of those places.
I wish you all the best, focus on the positive, always. It'll help at times, I p
romise.
permalinkparent
[ ]CochinBrahmaLover 2 points 3 hours ago
You can delete your account.
Go to preferences and there's an option to delete.
permalinkparent
[+] (1 child)
[ ]Notasurgeon 30 points 11 hours ago
Hey, I was working there today. What a coincidence.
permalinkparent
[ ]jonnyk354 -4 points 6 hours ago
Can you confirm that this event occurred?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Read the post. Did not say it happened today. It happened at the beginning of th
e month.
permalinkparent
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (4 children)

[ ]LoCHiF 22 points 10 hours ago


Gold is largely a donation to reddit. No-one really uses it.
permalinkparent
[ ]DarlinUntitled18 7 points 5 hours ago
I like to think of it somewhat symbolically, as in "Someone made a donation to R
eddit in your name!" sort of like, this comment, this person, or this content is
what I want to see on Reddit. People guild her because she is the kind of perso
n they want their user base to be, and they're proud to use the same website as
her.
permalinkparent
[ ]LoCHiF 3 points 2 hours ago
Agreed. It's a combination of a super emphatic upvote and the donation to reddit
as a sort of "yay reddit!" gesture.
permalinkparent
[ ]DiffidentDissident 9 points 10 hours ago
Hey, thanks for looking out for OP. I think that makes you pretty great.
permalinkparent
[ ]Drachte 17 points 11 hours ago
Op pls
permalinkparent
[ ]rightioushippie 7 points 8 hours ago
so what were the subreddits that helped you find coping mechanisms?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 11 points 8 hours ago
Twox, actually. I had made a post a while ago about being trigger by a video I s
aw of animal abuse that triggered flashbacks from sexual abuse in my childhood a
nd a lot of people gave me grounding tips.
permalinkparent
[ ]King_Penguin_IV [score hidden] 49 minutes ago
What grounding tips helped you the most?
permalinkparent
[ ]wibblywobblychilango 5 points 10 hours ago
Holy shit, things like this are why I love reddit so much! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]monkeiboi 8 points 10 hours ago
ignore her! Everyone gild her!
permalinkparent
[ ]MultiversEngineer 3 points 2 hours ago
Air Force vet here. I have PTSD with panic disorder.
This post is amazing to me. I can appreciate anyone who helps their fellow vets.
I am still in the process of gaining control over my own panic problems. Any ad
vice would be greatly appreciated.
PS: I am currently in school and was also diagnosed with ADD recently. The last
two years have just been a wreck.
permalinkparent
[ ]Defeat 3 points 4 hours ago
Hey there. If it makes you feel better: reddit runs very few ads. Criminally few
. This site was hemorrhaging money, and it probably still is. A few years ago (h
onestly I can't remember reddit time just sort of blurs together for me) reddit
was plagued by serve issues. Nothing would work or load. Then some genius invent
ed reddit gold. Or maybe it was mold first. Either way reddit was saved. Gold is
a donation more to the site we all mooch off of, and is definitely not a reward
for you being amazing. Also panic attacks fucking suck so thank you for helping
that guy out .
permalinkparent
[ ]MrFeles [score hidden] 58 minutes ago
Goddamnit. Read story, imagine some sort of fancy saint. Man calls out to the cr
owd, will she reveal herself?
Blood twat rag emerges.
What a strange mixture of emotions.

Also slightly relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2CWsqGFgkA


permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey -2 points 7 hours ago
Weird, I guess you live in Riverside? What are the odds you would live in the sa
me county as myself.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Well, seeing that the Loma Linda VA is used by both Riverside and San Bernardino
Counties, and considering how vast both of those counties are, plus people from
other counties who use that VA because they do not want to go to the others in
LA Jolla or Long Beach due to distance or whatever reasons, it is not so unlikel
y.
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey 4 points 6 hours ago
Well, even though I'm technically a veteran now, I've never had a reason to visi
t the VA and fortunately do not have any problems with PTSD or anything of that
nature. (Depression, but nothing related to my time in).
Plus, I just moved here, so I thought that was interesting.
Either way, best of luck to you. I'm sorry your time in had some truly shitty mo
ments, for lack of a better phrase. I'm sure you're aware, but most of us are ag
ainst that shit. At least, I hope.
permalinkparent
[+]apologies-in-advance comment score below threshold (0 children)
[ ]Walkingonadream7 -1 points 3 hours ago
You can use it to buy some wax for your cross
permalinkparent
[+] (6 children)
[ ]RediscoveredIllusion 53 points 12 hours ago
I have PTSD as well, from abuse situations like so many others here. I am so gla
d someone came along to help you cope. I had forgotten about grounding myself th
is way and reading your post for her... Well, whomever she is, if she finds this
, thank you from me as well.
permalink
[ ]Ivyleaguehandjob 185 points 13 hours ago
My father is a Korean War vet. We sat watching TV and the (new) Wounded Warrior
Project donation commercial comes on and my dad gets very angry. These commercia
ls are on par if not emotionally worse than the starving children and beaten dog
commercials.
We have done something very wrong to our veterans. There should be no need for c
harities like this. NO charities targeting veterans in need of food, clothing, s
helter, education, job training and more.
WWP Purpose:
To raise awareness and enlist the public's aid for the needs of injured service
members.
My father says "NO, that's our governments job, our employer!"
permalink
[ ]athingz 39 points 11 hours ago*
job training and more.
As an Iraq veteran that can't even seem to get a job interview at Walmart, I'm s
tarting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm not sure I have PTSD from my service, but about 8 years later when I finally
went in to a sliding scale clinic for depression symptoms and inability to conc
entrate/study (failing school), they called it "survivor's guilt". I wish it was
my truck that got hit. I volunteered for every convoy after that. Never heard o
f survivor's guilt until I was out for 8 years.
Never used the VA before. Not even sure where to start or where they're located.
I just learned a couple months ago you don't have to be a 20 year vet or have a
disability % to qualify, apparently. All third-hand knowledge. I thought you co
uld only use them for stuff that happened while in, and there's no proof of anyt
hing health related on military record. I've seen my folder right before ETS.

permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 39 points 10 hours ago
You can use the VA for medical care, even if you do not have a disability claim.
You just need to have served 180 days active service. Go to a local VA with you
r 214 and fill out some paperwork, you can usually be seen right away.
permalinkparent
[ ]panthera213 8 points 9 hours ago
Does your VA offer the chance to look at having service animals? My boyfriend is
in the CF and some of the guys here have gotten service animals to help them wi
th their PTSD. I know that it's been a comfort to them, or at least maybe anothe
r avenue to explore to help you out. Hope you are feeling better.
permalinkparent
[ ]IT_is_not_all_I_am 10 points 8 hours ago
Yeah, I know a guy that breeds and trains dogs for Rebuilding Warriors. I know h
e's trained them for folks with PTSD, but no idea how that organization selects
recipients. Might be worth looking into.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
Or, find someone that gets rescue dogs and trains them instead of dogs that were
bred just for.
permalinkparent
[ ]asianfromamerica 1 point 6 hours ago
SO ARE YOU THE WOMAN THAT HELPED THIS MAN? You are amazing I hope you realize th
at.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1 point 5 hours ago
No. I'm not. I'm average at best.
permalinkparent
[ ]darkangl187 7 points 8 hours ago
the VA is for those who served and discharged honorably, service connection or n
ot. please check them out it sounds like you need to consider service connection
for your survivors guilt.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 7 points 8 hours ago
Not just an honorable discharge. As long as you did not receive a dishonorable.
General, GUH, etc are accepted.
permalinkparent
[ ]Yeynna 4 points 6 hours ago
I'm starting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's the same for the unemployed, disable
d, and homeless who aren't veterans in the US (or anywhere else, I'm not America
n), I don't know what to say about everything else you faced because I can't ima
gine what living through it is like, but I want to say that no matter how much i
t seems like if you were suffering in the "right" way people would care more it'
s not true, it seems that way for everyone, but we're not alone in the facing th
is, and it's not your fault people are dismissing and scornful.
permalinkparent
[ ]Lots42 3 points 5 hours ago
www.211.org has lots of resourves for mental, physical and related help. Easy to
find lots and lots of stuff.
permalinkparent
[ ]preflop 3 points 2 hours ago
Hours late, but if you're having trouble getting things arranged, put in a call
to your local congressional office. You'll probably be assigned to a constituent
casework person and they'll put you in touch with who you need to talk to and w
here you need to go.
permalinkparent
[ ]mmm_toasty 19 points 12 hours ago
Hopefully at some point in the future the laws and regulations regarding providi
ng aid of all kinds to veterans in need will be fixed. For now though, as ways o

f acquiring the funding that the government fails to provide, I think that they
serve an important purpose.
permalinkparent
[ ]pmmesomeavocado 16 points 12 hours ago
The problem is that to do that, you need to raise taxes. And if you do that, you
're a freedom hating commie.
permalinkparent
[ ]bouncer4819 19 points 11 hours ago
Or we could just cut from our extremely overfunded defense budget, and reallocat
e those funds to actually help our vets
permalinkparent
[ ]vuhleeitee 0 points 4 hours ago
Yes. We should fire a whole bunch of people that are a few years away from retir
ement anyway. That makes complete sense.
You do realize that cutting the defense budget just means that it will create mo
re veterans who are at a loss for a stable source of income.
permalinkparent
[ ]tiehunter 3 points 4 hours ago
Or... Instead of buying jets that the military neither needs nor wants, we could
spend that money on veterans.
permalinkparent
[ ]athennna 8 points 11 hours ago
Or you need to better budget the tax revenue you already have.
permalinkparent
[ ]QuelqueChoseRose 0 points 2 hours ago
My understanding is that the V.A.'s fairly well-funded, nowadays. Relative to th
e rest of the federal government, at least. (Its funding's increased in years wh
en even Defense's was cut.) The problem's entirely administrative. It's a bureau
cratic nightmare, and no one's been able to solve it.
I think if a presidential candidate ran on a platform of simply making the feder
al government more efficient, they'd win easily. All the bickering about taxes a
nd spending, and we're still incredibly bad at doing what we want with the money
we tax and spend.
permalinkparent
[ ]hyene 9 points 11 hours ago
no, we don't need to raise taxes. we need to move from mathematically-illogical
capitalism to a scientifically-managed resource-based economy.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ruste 1 point 10 hours ago
Honestly curious, why should the government ever provide a service that is alrea
dy provided for by charities. Why force everyone to pay for something that peopl
e already give willingly to assuming that they provide enough. (I know they don'
t but according to OP there should be NO need for these charities as if it shoul
d be taken care of by the government regardless.)
permalinkparent
[ ]ggqq 7 points 10 hours ago
because there is a fine line we need to skate as a society between socialism and
capitalism to keep the employable people happy. If the government paid for ever
ything, we'd have incredibly high tax. This discourages people from working too
hard with tax brackets so you end up with nobody earning that much and an even h
igher tax because less people earn lots. What we need to do is convince rich peo
ple to be charitable (or rather, just tell rich people to give their money away
for free. I just solved the economic crisis. boom. you're welcome)
permalinkparent
[ ]Otto_Lidenbrock 6 points 9 hours ago
Except that tax brackets have never stopped anyone from making more money. Compl
ain about it, sure... But they still take the raise. It's a patently false argum
ent.
permalinkparent
[ ]undsowbe 10 points 8 hours ago

Your father as a Korean War Veteran would not qualify for the WWP program. Only
post 9/11 Vets qualify. Even at the VA, there are programs that my Vietnam-era h
usband does not qualify for (acupuncture being the most recent). The docs there
want the prestige and kudos that comes from treating recent Vets. It's the same
with the WWP. They know they can rake in the bucks if they play on public sentim
ent for post 9/11 Vets.
Never before have Veterans been excluded from programs based on the era they ser
ved in, until now.
TLDR: Fuck the WWP
permalinkparent
[ ]DrTypo 8 points 7 hours ago
WWP is also something that is wrong. Google wounded warrior project scam, and lo
ok at how much of the money that they collect actually goes to vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 160 points 14 hours ago
That is very sweet and I hope she sees this too! Best of luck on your journey an
d I am so sorry that as a nation we do so little for you and the other veterans.
Our system (what parts are not a clusterfuck) is frustrating at best and I am g
lad you find the courage every day to get up and navigate the system and your sy
mptoms, rather than letting the circumstances win. Hope she sees this! :)
permalink
[ ]mantiskiller 18 points 13 hours ago
I have very little knowledge of what the opportunities available for veterans bu
t always hear that it is inadequate. What improvements do you think the governme
nt could make?
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 29 points 12 hours ago
Well, (I'm assuming you are in the US) the system is just not streamlined and po
orly funded. You go for mental health help, there is no extra or quick he for pe
ople coming in while in crisis. Most get the same wait time as others. You go, y
ou sign up, and then you wait. Some people 6-8 weeks to be seen for someone who
sees you for 10 minutes to determine the meds you need and whether or not therap
y will help. Never mind med changes, trying to get refills. And you can forget h
ousing if you are homeless. Most VA houses/shelters are 30-50 beds and have wait
ing lists a mile long. We have homeless populations of mentally ill veterans who
, with the right meds and a few months of meals and a roof over their head would
be able to work some and get back on their feet. It's just a very broken, poorl
y funded, slow moving system and we as a country should be ashamed of ourselves.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster -3 points 12 hours ago
And you can forget housing if you are homeless.
That's why there is a pension program to give money to those that need it.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 16 points 12 hours ago
Yeah, but in some cases the money isn't enough or the application process is too
long and they are homeless before they get the money. Most homeless vets get mo
ney, its just not enough to live on and they aren't able to hold a job because t
hey can't get enough services to help their PTSD and resulting addictions. I was
a case worker for a veterans program for a year. I only lasted a year. It was t
he worst. The suicide rates, filling out paper work and seeing them be desperate
and only being able to say, 'well, I submitted it. we just have to wait.', not
having housing for them so at 5pm after hours of calling they were back out to w
ander another night on the streets. Ugh, I felt awful.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 21 points 12 hours ago
The pension program is only for vets with wartime service. Peacetime vets don't
have this fallback. Additionally, pension is only for those determined disabled.
There are some newer programs to combat homelessness for vets, but they depend
on location.
permalinkparent

[ ]Evil__Toaster 2 points 11 hours ago*


I'm just saying there is something, many people make it sound like there is no e
ffort at all. Homeless cases are a high priority. You sound like a VSR or VSO?
oh, ok, downvote me for thinking somebody sounds incredibly knowledgeable.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 12 points 11 hours ago
No. I'm a Legal Aid attorney who specializes in vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster 5 points 11 hours ago
Awesome. Nice to meet you.
permalinkparent
[ ]Sulde 37 points 12 hours ago
upvote for visibility.
and dude: when you are going through hell, keep on going. Never never never give
up.
permalink
[ ]endergrrl 36 points 12 hours ago
Female army vet here, though not the one you're looking for. Which VAMC were you
at? I'm glad someone helped you through that and that you found a safe and help
ful space here.
permalink
[ ]crouchtouchpause 32 points 12 hours ago
This is a beautiful post. All I can offer is that it does get better, and that a
nyone capable of writing such an emotionally honest post has already crossed mor
e bridges that most manage in a lifetime.
I hope she reads what you've written, but even if she doesn't you should know th
at many people have understood the sentiment and been moved by it.
permalink
[ ]mablesyrup 9 points 11 hours ago
Posts like this prove why today is the best monday of the year!
permalinkparent
[ ]Tonyman457 12 points 9 hours ago
This post has everything. The tragedy. The cry for help. The rocky montage at th
e VA where everything gets slightly better, but he looses his mentor somewhere.
Then, BAM! they rekindle!
The cherry on top is that her fuckin reddit ID is Bloody Twat Rag. Hits you with
the feels, then brings you back with some good ol' fashioned dark humor.
Most novels aren't this good.
permalinkparent
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
I read this in Stefon's voice :)
permalinkparent
[ ]Edrondol 33 points 6 hours ago
Marine vet here. No PTSD unless you count flashbacks of sitting in a storeroom f
or hours. But I wanted to pop in and say don't sweat the haters. Most of them ar
e just stupid kids trying to be edgy. The rest are assholes because they are ano
nymous and it's how they get their jollies. Just like the military, reddit has g
ood people and reddit has dicks. Unlike the military, you can completely ignore
the dicks here.
Don't know what branch you were in (I didn't read through everything), but I'm g
iving you a big Semper Fi anyway. Stay strong, brother.
permalink
[ ]spookyxskepticism 16 points 11 hours ago
Aaaaand I'm in tears. I'm so glad she was able to help you. Here's an upvote. Ho
pefully with enough of these she'll take notice and see your post! I'm so glad t
hat your experience has helped you on to the path of healing. Thank you so much
for your service <3
permalink
[ ]scarletdrive 3 points 9 hours ago
I needed a good cry today. Bless this post.

permalinkparent
[ ]faeriechyld 16 points 12 hours ago
I hope she gets your message of thanks even if she wants to remain anonymous. An
d I really really hope you start feeling better too. I wish I could do more than
offer internet hugs!
permalink
[ ]schweppesmeoffmyfeet 32 points 13 hours ago
This is why I love Reddit.
permalink
[ ]mightyflynn 14 points 12 hours ago
This is beautiful. I hope you are finding your ground.
permalink
[ ]anniebme 13 points 11 hours ago
Hi friend! I find having a smooth stone in my pocket helps. The stone reminds me
of chilling next to a river. I hope you find your mini-reminder, too!
I have found EMDR therapy rough to go through but helpful to process thoughts an
d memories. It may help you, too. It won't be easy but neither is what you are c
urrently dealing with.
permalink
[ ]BaronessUnderboob 11 points 8 hours ago
I use a piece of hematite sometimes, the weight feels nice in my hands. Though I
don't subscribe to that healing crystals stuff, I just like shiny rocks.
permalinkparent
[ ]anniebme 8 points 8 hours ago
Sounds like a great reminder to just be! Heavy enough to remind, light enough to
carry! Hematite just looks cool, too.
permalinkparent
[ ]DancingHeel 12 points 9 hours ago
I'm not her, but reading this has made me smile. I get down about working at VA
a lot - the bureaucracy and paperwork (and the sexual harassment from older Vets
) are really pushing me out the door. But I like the people I work with, and I k
now they really care about the wellbeing of Veterans. This is a great example of
that. Whether she was an employee or just a fellow Vet receiving services, ther
e are definitely good people in that crazy system.
To anyone else out there struggling with PTSD, other mental health concerns, or
service-related health issues - there is hope. Even when the VA gets horrible pr
ess, even when claims are backlogged - there are good people who want to help an
d are well-equipped to do so. If you haven't sought any help at the VA but you m
ight qualify for services, it's worth a shot. Don't give up. Every VA is, unfort
unately, very different in terms of quality. Shop around if you need to. It real
ly sucks that that's the way it is, because Veterans deserve better care. Govern
ment funding of Veteran services is extremely poor. But I have seen the efforts
of good people help change the system, slowly, from the inside.
permalink
[ ]paulb02 9 points 10 hours ago
This is a great story and I am happy you were able to find one of the good peopl
e at the VA. There is a lot of VA bashing and I understand it is not the best si
tuation for veterans, but some people at the VA do truly care about the Veterans
and their treatment and benefits. While my wife was not a vet herself, she work
s in the Comp and Pension section and deals primarily with the veterans via the
claims process. The Veterans rarely know the person behind the claim but she doe
s go that extra step whenever possible to ensure the claims are not jacked up.
permalink
[ ]TurdFergusonTheThird 10 points 9 hours ago
This post motivated me to join reddit. Long time listener first time poster here
.. Thanks for the energy.
permalink
[ ]TheRealFJ 15 points 6 hours ago
Dude please don't let the ass holes turn you away from Reddit. I get shit all th
e time for the smallest shit here but you need to know that those people are onl

y here to be mean...like the comments on YouTube.


permalink
[ ]Sector_805 23 points 11 hours ago
As a female who has served, I love this and hope she reads this.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
Thank you for your service, ma'am
permalinkparent
[ ]Bm1324 13 points 12 hours ago
Wow, I hope you are able to find her. As someone with PTSD, I find that even a l
ot of well-meaning people don't know what to say or do when I'm triggered or in
a difficult place. They do their best to use methods that they've seen or say th
ings like "It'll be alright," which aren't much help at the moment and too dista
nt for me to connect to. I like that she was real and helped to put you back int
o reality by grounding you in the current place and time. I'll have to remember
this as well :)
permalink
[ ]izzgo 24 points 13 hours ago
Upvoted so maybe she has a better chance to see this.
permalink
[ ]supersayanftw 5 points 12 hours ago
Please update, best of luck to you
permalink
[ ]devoted2mercury 7 points 12 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she sees this; Reddit is awesome.
permalink
[ ]Clayra 7 points 11 hours ago
I know first hand how trying it can be getting treatment from the VA. I sometime
s find that it's easier to go to one of the help desks and ask them to walk you
to wherever you want to go. It won't get you put to the front of the line, but I
've found that things tend to move more smoothly.
Like so much of government work it's just a big good-ole-boys club, and there's
a good chance that anyone working there has to at the very least be friendly wit
h everyone else if they have any hopes of staying.
permalink
[ ]BareKnuckleKitty 7 points 11 hours ago
This is so beautiful. Thank you for your service. I really hope she sees this!
permalink
[ ]petit_cochon 6 points 11 hours ago
Hey buddy, so glad this subreddit has helped you, and I hope it continues to hel
p you as you recover and heal.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 6 points 11 hours ago
OP, thank you for your service and sacrifice. Thanks also to the VA mystery woma
n for her service and sacrifice.
permalink
[ ]nerak1138 6 points 11 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she finds this, but even if she doesn't, she surely knows that s
he made a difference that day. Pay it forward, man. And keep your chin up. Lots
of love to you and all veterans.
permalink
[ ]GimmeMuchosMangos 8 points 11 hours ago
Good luck to you.
permalink
[ ]saraleecupcake 7 points 11 hours ago
Best of luck
permalink
[ ]theBIGnaudd 7 points 10 hours ago
Keep your head up brother! Look for a support group. The VA has resources and ca
n help find you a group to join. Stay strong! There are so many people out there

who care and want to help you out with your experiences.
permalink
[ ]rogue780 6 points 10 hours ago
/r/veterans has some good resources as well
permalink
[ ]SuperChubbs 7 points 8 hours ago
This is really special. I served on a submarine for 4 years getting out in 2012
and I had a hard time readjusting. PTSD and depression combined with feeling lik
e I never related to many other veterans because I served in a different environ
ment then most.
I know it isn't easy to help someone going through PTSD or a panic attack but i'
ve had a few people really come through for me when I needed it and I don't know
where i'd be if they hadn't. Now my life is so much brighter. :) Thank you so m
uch for stepping up and helping that guy, people like you are wonderful.
permalink
[ ]somegaychick 2 points 4 hours ago
I cant even begin to imagine what its like. Thank you for your service. <3
permalinkparent
[ ]SuperChubbs 1 point 3 hours ago
Thank you so much, it used to make me uncomfortable hearing that but it's kinda
nice now that i'm doing so much better :) You made my night.
permalinkparent
[ ]kawaii-throwaway 6 points 8 hours ago
This entire post v was beautiful beginning to end.
My ptsd is considered in remission but I still wear patchouli pull to remind me
of my grandmother. I also have a lyric from one of my favorite songs on my wrist
. Seeing the message (be patient) itself keeps me grounded but being reminded of
the song takes me back to awe inspiring memories that snap me right out of an e
pisode.
It's a magical feeling when you finally find coping mechanisms that actually hel
p. Every moment before that feels like a constant waking nightmare, a landmine o
f triggers, but once you find what works, it's as if a weight is lifted from you
.
permalink
[ ]Milagro_chef 21 points 13 hours ago
I have PTSD. Her definition is exact correct. Thank you.
permalink
[ ]I_require_answers 10 points 10 hours ago
It's disappointing, and sadly unsurprising, that none of the professionals you w
orked with at the VA taught you some grounding skills, I mean that's really trau
ma therapy 101. It makes me sad our vets don't get better treatment than that. A
nyway, glad you guys found each other, and thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]baconchief 5 points 10 hours ago
Thank you for your service Sir! I hope you regain control of your life and can l
ive on happily! Much respect.
permalink
[ ]nocomfychairs 6 points 9 hours ago
Thank you both for your service.
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.

Take care friend...


permalink
[ ]Hippiemamklp 5 points 8 hours ago
This made me tear up. I am sending huge cyber hugs to both of you! Sometimes hel
p comes in the most unlikely ways:-) Glad you are both getting help and I hope h
ealing.
permalink
[ ]ilokaners 6 points 7 hours ago
That's great. I wish you the best in healing. Sorry the VA doesn't help as much
as it should. I wish it would change but people like you and your friend are an
inspiration. Thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]squirtsmilk 5 points 7 hours ago
Thank you to our vets.. And to kind and compassionate people .... They make the
world safe for us all.
permalink
[ ]Noculum 7 points 6 hours ago
This warmed my heart. What a lovely story.
permalink
[ ]MonkeyNacho 7 points 6 hours ago
Thank you both for your service. I hope she, and the rest of us here on Reddit,
can help you find a road to inner peace.
permalink
[ ]Lots42 17 points 6 hours ago
You're on a woman-friendly sub-reddit that ended up on /r/all. That's why there'
s some negativity floating to the surface. /r/all is full of jackasses who can't
deal with the fact woman-friendly sub-reddits exist.
Or that women exist.
permalink
[ ]chocobodanger 8 points 7 hours ago
I have PTSD as well from rape. I have been diagnosed but the "system" here has f
ailed me by not getting me treatment needed (saw a counselor, put on depression/
anxiety meds, told I would have therapy and have not seen another counselor sinc
e?) You inadvertently helped me cope just by posting what she had told you.
permalink
[ ]txdahlia 10 points 6 hours ago
Unfortunately social media can bring out the dark side of those to impotent to s
how it in their daily lives because they fear repercussions, so they use an anon
ymous faceless version of themselves and pretend to be a bad ass. You are worthy
of happiness and peace after your great sacrifice. Don't let others put you dow
n.
permalink
[ ]dftexas165 5 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaay! The power of reddit. Glad you found her! I appreciate your service too b
uddy. I really hope you learn how to deal with you're issues brought on by your
experiences at war.
permalink
[ ]lotsofsippycups 4 points 9 hours ago
Aww I'm so glad you found her! :)
permalink
[ ]Ammoholic 3 points 8 hours ago
My dad is a doctor who treats ptsd at that va. Ask to see Dr goldstein. He will
help you for sure!
permalink
[ ]soitgoes182 4 points 8 hours ago
This is fucking beautiful!!
permalink
[ ]liesforliars 4 points 7 hours ago
I'm so happy you found her, man !! The internet can be wonderful..
permalink

[ ]dontdid 5 points 7 hours ago


This is so touching. Thank you both for your service and compassion. I hope you
find relief from what haunts you.
permalink
[ ]TheRainMonster 4 points 7 hours ago
Scotch tastes like peanut butter to you, too?
permalink
[ ]Soxbee 5 points 7 hours ago
It's amazing how one person can really make a difference! I'm so glad you found
her again!
My heart goes out to all of the veterans. I want to hug you all and offer any su
pport I can for what you've been through.
permalink
[ ]jschlik 3 points 6 hours ago*
Glad you found her. Thanks for the humbling and inspiring post.
I dont know if anyone has already mentioned this but Vital Warrior (vitalwarrior
.org) could be a great resource for those suffering from mental illness. I reall
y like what they are doing to help Vets.
permalink
[ ]_Rootshell_ 13 points 11 hours ago
Peanut butter scotch, meet bloody twat rag. A match made in heaven.
permalink
[ ]Upam 8 points 11 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection, if this gets enough upvotes and stays on the m
ain page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story. Best of luck to
the op
permalink
[ ]aazav 4 points 9 hours ago
Be good man, be good.
permalink
[ ]cannedbread1 3 points 2 hours ago
I am so glad that there was a lifeline out there for you at the perfect time. I
am so very sad for negative comments you are getting. Some people truly are arse
hats.
permalink
[ ]TabulaRasaNot [score hidden] 33 minutes ago
You folks with the negative comments to which OP refers, the ones pushing him ba
ck into himself, shame on you. You make me wish karma was real.
permalink
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 8 points 13 hours ago
Upboats
permalink
[ ]saralt 5 points 11 hours ago
And many more boats.
permalinkparent
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 3 points 7 hours ago
best part is they found each other :)
permalinkparent
[ ]theclassywino 4 points 7 hours ago
You're a hero, best of luck to you. Thank you for serving.
permalink
[ ]ArcheryHunter4Life 4 points 5 hours ago
I just wanted to say thank you for stepping up and posting this, it is so touchi
ng. It is incredibly brave of you and I'm sorry for all that you've been through
and for all of the rude people on this site. I will probably never experience w
hat you have been through. I hope you find yourself healed and happy in the futu
re. Most especially, thank you for your service.
permalink
[ ]Code_NY [score hidden] 1 hour ago
I'm sorry you've had to read through negative responses to this post. It's the d

ownside of open forum on the Internet. Just let them wash over you and concentra
te on the good ones, which are plentiful.
I hope things get better for you soon and I'm glad you've managed to reconnect w
ith her :)
permalink
[ ]CrackpotPatriot [score hidden] 34 minutes ago
Takes a lot of courage to reach out a thank you on the interwebz -especially red
dit. Well done. Thank yous are just too rare in this world.
permalink
[ ]NejKidd 6 points 12 hours ago
Can't wait to see the response on /r/bestof
permalink
[ ]Honkbag 10 points 11 hours ago
Not to be "that guy" in an otherwise supportive thread, but breathing/mindfulnes
s meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therapies for panic attack
s. That's science. that's why the counselors likely repeated it.
Im sorry you didnt feel heard, OP, and the psychological empathy With someone pe
rceived/identified as previously traumatized now wise and mentoring seems helpfu
l to you. Also, the act of smoking mimics controlled breathing which contrasts w
ith either the feeling of suffocation or hyperventilation in panic. The peer sim
ply stated things in a different way that resonated based on shared experience.
That also is important...oftentimes people in therapy perceive that therapists "
don't understand" what they've been through, and therefore arent able to help th
em because they havent been through "the same thing". Fact is, even two people i
n the same fight wont experience the situation exactly the same. But that's not
the point. The point is that In addition to wanting to feel understood, OP, you
needed to know you're not alone, and you needed to see someone actively coping a
nd recovering.
Do what works for you OP...but try not to throw the baby out with the bath water
. You may have valid reasons for anger at the VA (and what psychological role th
ey play in the trauma experience) but those techniques are indeed helpful with c
ontinued practice. Maybe it just needed to be explained differently or in more d
epth (other than "just breathe"...which may come across as dismissive). use all
the resources (however limited) you have at your disposal and let your therapst
know what makes you mad.
Good luck.
permalink
[ ]waitwuh 16 points 9 hours ago
breathing/mindfulness meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therap
ies for panic attacks
Perhaps the little trinket or "reminder" is more helpful to mindfulness than jus
t telling somebody to breath.
permalinkparent
[ ]notteoscura 9 points 9 hours ago
I think the clutch is that she could meet him on his level of breathing alone no
t being enough. Some people can breathe their way out of a panic attack. Others
can't. But yes, science does show breathing to be beneficial.
permalinkparent
[ ]3jt 10 points 6 hours ago
Mindful breathing is a grounding technique. However, therapists usually don't te
ll you that, and if they do they don't emphasize the "why". They just say to bre
athe. If you're hyperventilating, and someone says "breathe", that's fucking stu
pid. What is helpful is to focus on something other than the fact that you're ha
ving a panic attack. Ritual activities like cigarette smoking are helpful. So is
mindful breathing. It's the mindful part that helps.
permalinkparent
[ ]PurpleMentat [score hidden] 1 hour ago
So much this. Breathing without grounding is pointless. Grounding is the point o
f slow, deep, fully exhaled breathing.
permalinkparent

[ ]Launchfit 3 points 8 hours ago


You may not even see this comment, but I highly recommend you try using medical
marijuana to help treat your PTSD. I'm not here trying to persuade you to try a
drug you may not have any knowledge of, but in my experience, it has had a treme
ndous benefit to veterans with PTSD. My brother served in Iraq for 3 years and r
eturned home with severe PTSD. After countless weeks of taking drugs that had no
real benefit whatsoever, he tried medical marijuana. Ever since he indulged in
weed, his condition has improved substantially and his PTSD symptoms seem to les
sen every day. Again, weed isn't for everyone and I'm not sitting here telling y
ou it's a magical drug that will completely cure you. I'm simply suggesting some
thing that could be of great use to you and potentially benefit you. Best of luc
k, and thank you for serving our country.
permalink
[ ]persnipboobiees 3 points 8 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection.. if this gets enough upvotes + stays on the ma
in page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story: best of luck to
the op.
permalink
[ ]LaughingJackass 2 points 5 hours ago
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Wanted to say just this.
permalink
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ]LadyLavaLamp -4 points 10 hours ago
bloody_twat_rag and peanut_butter_scotch forever! I SHIP IT
permalink
[+] (13 children)
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 50 minutes ago
I am a vet as well and im going through similar issues but one of your comments
is a little out of line.
" She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good chance she had been raped
."
Thats B/S, sorry to be the negative one in the party.
Thats like saying "Every wife of a soldier that stayed near base cheated on thei
r husband while they were deployed because all women are scandalous."
Obviously not true,
Just because its the army doesn't make them rapist and baby killers.
Please understand im not harassing you. Thats the kind of blanket statement that
could set others off, like me and my response....
permalink
[ ]Commando_Girl [score hidden] 36 minutes ago
Ummmm. There's a big difference between "good chance" and "every".
You have issues if you really don't see the difference between the two.
permalinkparent
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 31 minutes ago
Right but my point is both statements are false.
permalinkparent
[ ] 9 hours ago
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ] 7 hours ago
[+] (7 children)
[+] (15 children)
[ ] 2 hours ago
[ ]heatheranne[M] [score hidden] 1 hour ago
Be nice or go away.
permalink
[+] (2 children)
[+]Lonsdaleite comment score below threshold (1 child)
[+] (1 child)
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (6 children)

[+] (10 children)


[+] (1 child)
[+]nickbernstein comment score below threshold (2 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+] (2 children)
[+] (1 child)
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submitted 14 hours ago * by peanut_butter_scotch
I am a male, and a combat veteran. I was doing well mentally for a while, under
the care of doctors and taking medication for PTSD and depression. One day, I we
nt to the VA to see my doctor and pick up meds. I was not doing well, a divorce
and financial problems had triggered my PTSD. And the VA was very crowded that d
ay. I was just trying to get meds at the pharmacy so I could go hone, but it was
so packed full of people and everyone was so rude and loud that I was having a
full on panic attack. I sat against a wall, shaking and in tears. Then, she stoo
d next to me.
She asked me when I got back. Fellow veterans always can tell when someone is fr
esh from the combat zone, and I know I appeared that way. I told her I had been
back for a few years but I was not doing well. And I just broke down. She listen
ed as I vented about the clusterfuck of rude people, and how I could not calm do
wn. I said, "I know, I am just supposed to fucking breathe, right?" That is what
the counselors at the VA always said. Just breathe, it will be okay.
"No." She said. "That is fucking pointless. Breathing will not help you right no
w. You are having a present reaction to a problem from the past. Right now, you
need to ground yourself and get out of the fear loop so you can calm down and be
gin to relax."
I asked, how do I do that? She told me about how everyone has something differen
t to ground them. Something comforting, something that triggers endorphins and h
appy memories. She said, she has a bottle of clove extract in her pocket, the sm
ell reminds her of her grandmother.
I began thinking of what I could use. She asked me if I wanted to go have a smok
e with her outside, and I did, so we went to the smoking gazebo. I asked her whe
re she learned these things that she was telling me about, no one ever understoo
d and gave me tips that helped.
Then she told me about reddit. And about a few subs that are primarily for women
, to discuss anything, and a lot of women talked about these coping skills to co
pe after rape and domestic violence. I felt sad suddenly, and thought of the rap
e problem in the military. She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good
chance she had been raped. As she spoke, I thought of how bad she had it. Not on
ly did she have PTSD like me and so many other men do, but she had PTSD from get
ting raped by the very men that were supposed to have her back.
She told me about the online community that helps her more than the stupid group
therapy we all had to go to. So I have lurked on reddit for a while. But I want
ed to reach out and thank her, but no idea what her username is. I know she freq
uents subs like this that are aimed at women, so I was hoping that maybe she wou
ld see this and would know how much it meant to me that she helped me. If anyone
here knows of a female veteran that frequents here, let me know.
Mysterious woman from the VA, thank you so much. You helped me find a path to he
aling. And I hope you find this.
Edit: I made this post then took a nap. I checked reddit on my phone and noticed
the very overwhelming response. Thank you, to everyone, for your support. And I
think I may have found her! My apologies for not respondingnto most of you, som
etimes I find even interacting with strangers online can be very anxiety inducin
g so I tend to steer clear, which is why I took so long to even make an account
on here. But I appreciate the kindness; I was not expecting to get this kind of
response. Thank you.
And final edit: well, found her. And, that is all. Being able to talk with her a
gain is great, and the positive response is nice, but the negative shit and the
insults being thrown and both her and I is very sad. I do not know why people mu
st hurt others when they are getting kind attention from others but I am told th
at is the way of Reddit. No, we will not be dating, she has a boyfriend which I
knew because he was there when I first met her. Tomorrow we are meeting for lunc
h, maybe she will post pics of it. I thought this would be fun and exciting but
with the negativity I am dreading even coming on reddit again. So, if she wants
to post pics tomorrow that will be up to her.
323 commentsshare

all 323 comments


sorted by: best
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1270 points 12 hours ago*
So, I passed this post by with an upvote and moved on. I was watching TV and it
clicked.
Was this at the VA in Loma Linda, CA?
And I appreciate the gold, guys, but please do not gild me anymore. I get the se
ntiment, but please, give it to someone else. I have no use for it.
permalink
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 518 points 11 hours ago
Yes! The VA in Loma Linda! Sorry I took so long to respond, I made this post, th
en took my meds and ended up passing out. Is this you?
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 141 points 11 hours ago
I hope so, this is one of the best things I've read in a while.
permalinkparent
[ ]joethomma 71 points 7 hours ago
It was all made possible by /u/bloody_twat_rag
permalinkparent
[ ]AcknowledgeTheLlama 17 points 6 hours ago
And her grandmothers cloves
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 117 points 11 hours ago
Oh. I am still new to this, I have only been lurking on reddit for a few weeks,
maybe. I did not know that.
permalink
[ ]tryingtomakeit9 74 points 11 hours ago
So...is it her?
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 210 points 10 hours ago
Yes it is her!
permalinkparent
[ ]bhamv 38 points 10 hours ago
Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]allygraceless 23 points 10 hours ago
This makes me so happy :)
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 22 points 8 hours ago
I love /u/bloody_twat_rag. She always has words of wisdom.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 10 points 7 hours ago
Is she well known on this site?
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 18 points 7 hours ago
I have no idea, but I find her name very memorable.
permalinkparent
[ ]A_Cylon_Raider 9 points 7 hours ago
Probably not, it's just a common thing people joke about here when really nice o
r helpful people have surprising or strange usernames.
permalinkparent
[ ]aazav 21 points 9 hours ago
Glad you found the woman who helped you.
Feel better and when you can, pass on the same help that she gave you.
Cheers.
permalinkparent
[ ]terriblecowgirl 12 points 10 hours ago
This is beautiful. I'm glad you found her!!! :)
permalinkparent

[ ]littlemissderpy 7 points 9 hours ago


Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]digitalyss 7 points 9 hours ago
Holy shit
permalinkparent
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 10 points 10 hours ago
They are apparently PMing right now, so... I think so?
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]your_ex_girlfriend- 40 points 11 hours ago
The MUA in me loves this cat eye and the TwoXer in me wants it to be her... even
if it is kind of weird to repost this album here...
permalink
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 40 points 10 hours ago
Tape. That is my secret here on the eye make up. Tape.
permalinkparent
[ ]Mojitana 6 points 8 hours ago
That's a really great tip. Thanks!
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 138 points 11 hours ago
Wow I look like shit in those pics.
permalink
[ ]LabGeeked 156 points 11 hours ago
Shaddap, you are lovely in every way.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 186 points 10 hours ago
Yes, she is as beautiful outside as she is on the inside.
permalinkparent
[ ]ilovegingermen 92 points 9 hours ago
peanut_butter_scotch and bloody_twat_rags - A Love Story
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 118 points 9 hours ago
Perhaps, but I am in a happy relationship with children. This could be the start
of a friendship, though.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 60 points 10 hours ago
Sorry, I honestly didn't think you looked bad and they were from the first post
with your face that I found. I was just trying to help u/peanut_butter_scotch, d
oesn't sound like he knows how to look at a users' profile.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 120 points 10 hours ago
Its OK, the pics are just not flattering because I posted them to MUA for CC. Me
and him are talking on fb messenger right now, I think he is a bit overwhelmed
and shocked by the response he got.
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 51 points 10 hours ago
Okay now that is just fantastic. Cheers to you for being the good person you nee
ded to be at the time you needed to be it. It sounds like you selflessly helped
a fellow human when it really mattered.
permalinkparent
[ ]HaloNinjee 12 points 9 hours ago
I <3 you.
I know of the typical subs like this but if you have some suggestions for more I
'm looking to show my wife around the friendlier side of reddit.
permalinkparent
[ ]itsme_eloise 16 points 9 hours ago
Hey there - what does your wife like? TwoX is good, /r/TrollXChromosomes is amaz
ing as is their brother sub /r/TrollYChromosome. I personally also like some sub

reddits aimed at improving my appearance that have a bit more of a feminine comm
unity like /r/MakeupAddiction, /r/SkincareAddiction and /r/HaircareScience. Depe
nding on what she likes, there's probably a subreddit for it!
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]cviwood 10 points 8 hours ago
I like the SFWPornNetwork. Also it is not porn, they are sub reddits with pretty
pretty pictures.
/r/AbandonedPorn has images like this old stairway.
Check the right columnfor related subreddits.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 5 points 9 hours ago
Twox, and if you look in the sidebar they have links for related subs. That is h
ow I navigate around.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 17 points 10 hours ago
So it is you? Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]marshmallowmermaid 7 points 9 hours ago
:) I'm glad you got to connect.
permalinkparent
[ ]KitsBeach 4 points 5 hours ago
I just want to say that I recognize your name from other lady-oriented subs and
I thought you always seemed like a swell gal. This post cements that!
permalinkparent
[ ]diestate_enter 3 points 8 hours ago
Ask him how he came up with his username.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 32 points 7 hours ago
Are you talking about me? This is the name my kid gave to my dog. I think it is
the name of a dog on a kid show. I'm not a creative person, and the name always
reminds me of my daughter and makes me smile.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]aazav 14 points 9 hours ago
Ahhh. You look fine.
Glad you took the time to help peanut_butter_scotch out.
You did good.
permalinkparent
[ ]6F6A9O9 16 points 9 hours ago
I think you're real pretty on the inside and on the outside. What we call "all t
he way pretty". You're all the way pretty.
permalinkparent
[ ]GreenlyRose 7 points 7 hours ago
Don't be silly, you look lovely in those pics! :-)
permalinkparent
[ ]Pandibabi 18 points 10 hours ago
Wow u r beautiful .. from another heterosexual female btw dont want to sound cre
epy ok
permalinkparent
[ ]screaming-trees 14 points 10 hours ago
wow i love the great attidfue in this subreddit 10/10
permalinkparent
[ ]darkshy 6 points 8 hours ago
I mean, it could be worse. You look fine. You could actually look like a bloody
twat rag though. That would be terrible.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
In my defense I am wearing a lot of make up in those well mostly eye make up, th

ey were posted to makeupaddiction


permalinkparent
[ ]PushitClaw -2 points 6 hours ago
Just breathe...
permalinkparent
[ ]houseofbacon 12 points 11 hours ago
We must know if its a match. The suspense is thicker than my backup jar of peanu
t butter.
permalinkparent
[ ]Nozphexezora 10 points 11 hours ago
WooOOOooo. Lucky you! I've had a similar situation once, but about drug addictio
n. She never came back.
permalinkparent
[ ]BloodGuts_AngelCake 10 points 9 hours ago
I don't know why but this brought a tear to my eye. It's nice to see there are k
ind people in this world.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ask_Me_What_Love_Is 6 points 6 hours ago
Hey pbs. I'm not her nor a veteran but I've had my fair share of woes and work i
n the loma Linda area (redlands) and if you ever need someone to catch a smoke o
r talk with, grab a beer or lunch with I am here. Just pm me and let me know.
permalinkparent
[ ]kaleybrennan 4 points 8 hours ago
hey idk if you'll see this but you should do a full tutorial of how you did that
makeup. and show what kind you use <3
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 13 points 7 hours ago
I think this was directed at the wrong person.
permalinkparent
[ ]Call_me_Kelly [score hidden] 1 hour ago
If there is a vet center near you I highly recommend checking them out.
http://www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
They specialize in ptsd and reintigration. When the VA became impossible for me
to go to because the noise, the people, and many bad experiences caused me to ha
ve panic attacks any time I entered I began going to the vet center for ptsd hel
p instead.
The atmosphere at my local vet center was awesome. The counselor I saw also help
ed me by creating scripts of what I needed to say to my pdoc and would message h
er on my behalf occasionally.
Also I began teleconference appointments with my va pdoc from a local outpatient
VA clinic. I didn't have the stress of going back into the VA and it allowed me
to tweak and adjust my meds when needed.
If you have nightmares, talk to a pdoc about prazosin. It helps reduce the whole
waking up flooded with adrenalin from nightmares thing. http://www.webmd.com/ato-z-guides/prazosin-for-ptsd
Also, the va prescribed me Xanax for anxiety for two years. If it's prescribed l
ong term for you talk to your doc about longterm side effects. I became full blo
wn agorophobic on it and it took away a year of my life. Imagine my anger when I
learner the va was supposed to have moved away from prescribing it long term du
e to terrible side effects years BEFORE they prescribed it to me.
/r/veterans is a pretty cool subreddit if you've never been.
I so glad someone was able to give you a stepping stone towards healing. I keep
pictures of my kids in my wallet to help ground me during panic attacks. I also
highly recommend changing the immediate surroundings. Leave the room or building
when one starts and it can sometimes help reduce the damage.
Kelly
permalinkparent
[ ]lawdudette -2 points 6 hours ago
/r/bestof!!!!!!
permalinkparent

[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 12 points 6 hours ago


I hope not I can not handle the harassment I'm not logging in again this is it I
am done
permalinkparent
[ ]PM_ME_TITS_MLADY 12 points 4 hours ago
Sigh, the internet is for everyone. But that's precisely the reason why sometime
s it's not for everyone.
Reddit is one of those places.
I wish you all the best, focus on the positive, always. It'll help at times, I p
romise.
permalinkparent
[ ]CochinBrahmaLover 2 points 3 hours ago
You can delete your account.
Go to preferences and there's an option to delete.
permalinkparent
[+] (1 child)
[ ]Notasurgeon 30 points 11 hours ago
Hey, I was working there today. What a coincidence.
permalinkparent
[ ]jonnyk354 -4 points 6 hours ago
Can you confirm that this event occurred?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Read the post. Did not say it happened today. It happened at the beginning of th
e month.
permalinkparent
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (4 children)
[ ]LoCHiF 22 points 10 hours ago
Gold is largely a donation to reddit. No-one really uses it.
permalinkparent
[ ]DarlinUntitled18 7 points 5 hours ago
I like to think of it somewhat symbolically, as in "Someone made a donation to R
eddit in your name!" sort of like, this comment, this person, or this content is
what I want to see on Reddit. People guild her because she is the kind of perso
n they want their user base to be, and they're proud to use the same website as
her.
permalinkparent
[ ]LoCHiF 3 points 2 hours ago
Agreed. It's a combination of a super emphatic upvote and the donation to reddit
as a sort of "yay reddit!" gesture.
permalinkparent
[ ]DiffidentDissident 9 points 10 hours ago
Hey, thanks for looking out for OP. I think that makes you pretty great.
permalinkparent
[ ]Drachte 17 points 11 hours ago
Op pls
permalinkparent
[ ]rightioushippie 7 points 8 hours ago
so what were the subreddits that helped you find coping mechanisms?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 11 points 8 hours ago
Twox, actually. I had made a post a while ago about being trigger by a video I s
aw of animal abuse that triggered flashbacks from sexual abuse in my childhood a
nd a lot of people gave me grounding tips.
permalinkparent
[ ]King_Penguin_IV [score hidden] 49 minutes ago
What grounding tips helped you the most?
permalinkparent
[ ]wibblywobblychilango 5 points 10 hours ago
Holy shit, things like this are why I love reddit so much! :D

permalinkparent
[ ]monkeiboi 8 points 10 hours ago
ignore her! Everyone gild her!
permalinkparent
[ ]MultiversEngineer 3 points 2 hours ago
Air Force vet here. I have PTSD with panic disorder.
This post is amazing to me. I can appreciate anyone who helps their fellow vets.
I am still in the process of gaining control over my own panic problems. Any ad
vice would be greatly appreciated.
PS: I am currently in school and was also diagnosed with ADD recently. The last
two years have just been a wreck.
permalinkparent
[ ]Defeat 3 points 4 hours ago
Hey there. If it makes you feel better: reddit runs very few ads. Criminally few
. This site was hemorrhaging money, and it probably still is. A few years ago (h
onestly I can't remember reddit time just sort of blurs together for me) reddit
was plagued by serve issues. Nothing would work or load. Then some genius invent
ed reddit gold. Or maybe it was mold first. Either way reddit was saved. Gold is
a donation more to the site we all mooch off of, and is definitely not a reward
for you being amazing. Also panic attacks fucking suck so thank you for helping
that guy out .
permalinkparent
[ ]MrFeles [score hidden] 58 minutes ago
Goddamnit. Read story, imagine some sort of fancy saint. Man calls out to the cr
owd, will she reveal herself?
Blood twat rag emerges.
What a strange mixture of emotions.
Also slightly relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2CWsqGFgkA
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey -2 points 7 hours ago
Weird, I guess you live in Riverside? What are the odds you would live in the sa
me county as myself.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Well, seeing that the Loma Linda VA is used by both Riverside and San Bernardino
Counties, and considering how vast both of those counties are, plus people from
other counties who use that VA because they do not want to go to the others in
LA Jolla or Long Beach due to distance or whatever reasons, it is not so unlikel
y.
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey 4 points 6 hours ago
Well, even though I'm technically a veteran now, I've never had a reason to visi
t the VA and fortunately do not have any problems with PTSD or anything of that
nature. (Depression, but nothing related to my time in).
Plus, I just moved here, so I thought that was interesting.
Either way, best of luck to you. I'm sorry your time in had some truly shitty mo
ments, for lack of a better phrase. I'm sure you're aware, but most of us are ag
ainst that shit. At least, I hope.
permalinkparent
[+]apologies-in-advance comment score below threshold (0 children)
[ ]Walkingonadream7 -1 points 3 hours ago
You can use it to buy some wax for your cross
permalinkparent
[+] (6 children)
[ ]RediscoveredIllusion 53 points 12 hours ago
I have PTSD as well, from abuse situations like so many others here. I am so gla
d someone came along to help you cope. I had forgotten about grounding myself th
is way and reading your post for her... Well, whomever she is, if she finds this
, thank you from me as well.
permalink

[ ]Ivyleaguehandjob 185 points 13 hours ago


My father is a Korean War vet. We sat watching TV and the (new) Wounded Warrior
Project donation commercial comes on and my dad gets very angry. These commercia
ls are on par if not emotionally worse than the starving children and beaten dog
commercials.
We have done something very wrong to our veterans. There should be no need for c
harities like this. NO charities targeting veterans in need of food, clothing, s
helter, education, job training and more.
WWP Purpose:
To raise awareness and enlist the public's aid for the needs of injured service
members.
My father says "NO, that's our governments job, our employer!"
permalink
[ ]athingz 39 points 11 hours ago*
job training and more.
As an Iraq veteran that can't even seem to get a job interview at Walmart, I'm s
tarting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm not sure I have PTSD from my service, but about 8 years later when I finally
went in to a sliding scale clinic for depression symptoms and inability to conc
entrate/study (failing school), they called it "survivor's guilt". I wish it was
my truck that got hit. I volunteered for every convoy after that. Never heard o
f survivor's guilt until I was out for 8 years.
Never used the VA before. Not even sure where to start or where they're located.
I just learned a couple months ago you don't have to be a 20 year vet or have a
disability % to qualify, apparently. All third-hand knowledge. I thought you co
uld only use them for stuff that happened while in, and there's no proof of anyt
hing health related on military record. I've seen my folder right before ETS.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 39 points 10 hours ago
You can use the VA for medical care, even if you do not have a disability claim.
You just need to have served 180 days active service. Go to a local VA with you
r 214 and fill out some paperwork, you can usually be seen right away.
permalinkparent
[ ]panthera213 8 points 9 hours ago
Does your VA offer the chance to look at having service animals? My boyfriend is
in the CF and some of the guys here have gotten service animals to help them wi
th their PTSD. I know that it's been a comfort to them, or at least maybe anothe
r avenue to explore to help you out. Hope you are feeling better.
permalinkparent
[ ]IT_is_not_all_I_am 10 points 8 hours ago
Yeah, I know a guy that breeds and trains dogs for Rebuilding Warriors. I know h
e's trained them for folks with PTSD, but no idea how that organization selects
recipients. Might be worth looking into.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
Or, find someone that gets rescue dogs and trains them instead of dogs that were
bred just for.
permalinkparent
[ ]asianfromamerica 1 point 6 hours ago
SO ARE YOU THE WOMAN THAT HELPED THIS MAN? You are amazing I hope you realize th
at.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1 point 5 hours ago
No. I'm not. I'm average at best.
permalinkparent
[ ]darkangl187 7 points 8 hours ago
the VA is for those who served and discharged honorably, service connection or n
ot. please check them out it sounds like you need to consider service connection
for your survivors guilt.
permalinkparent

[ ]bloody_twat_rag 7 points 8 hours ago


Not just an honorable discharge. As long as you did not receive a dishonorable.
General, GUH, etc are accepted.
permalinkparent
[ ]Yeynna 4 points 6 hours ago
I'm starting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's the same for the unemployed, disable
d, and homeless who aren't veterans in the US (or anywhere else, I'm not America
n), I don't know what to say about everything else you faced because I can't ima
gine what living through it is like, but I want to say that no matter how much i
t seems like if you were suffering in the "right" way people would care more it'
s not true, it seems that way for everyone, but we're not alone in the facing th
is, and it's not your fault people are dismissing and scornful.
permalinkparent
[ ]Lots42 3 points 5 hours ago
www.211.org has lots of resourves for mental, physical and related help. Easy to
find lots and lots of stuff.
permalinkparent
[ ]preflop 3 points 2 hours ago
Hours late, but if you're having trouble getting things arranged, put in a call
to your local congressional office. You'll probably be assigned to a constituent
casework person and they'll put you in touch with who you need to talk to and w
here you need to go.
permalinkparent
[ ]mmm_toasty 19 points 12 hours ago
Hopefully at some point in the future the laws and regulations regarding providi
ng aid of all kinds to veterans in need will be fixed. For now though, as ways o
f acquiring the funding that the government fails to provide, I think that they
serve an important purpose.
permalinkparent
[ ]pmmesomeavocado 16 points 12 hours ago
The problem is that to do that, you need to raise taxes. And if you do that, you
're a freedom hating commie.
permalinkparent
[ ]bouncer4819 19 points 11 hours ago
Or we could just cut from our extremely overfunded defense budget, and reallocat
e those funds to actually help our vets
permalinkparent
[ ]vuhleeitee 0 points 4 hours ago
Yes. We should fire a whole bunch of people that are a few years away from retir
ement anyway. That makes complete sense.
You do realize that cutting the defense budget just means that it will create mo
re veterans who are at a loss for a stable source of income.
permalinkparent
[ ]tiehunter 3 points 4 hours ago
Or... Instead of buying jets that the military neither needs nor wants, we could
spend that money on veterans.
permalinkparent
[ ]athennna 8 points 11 hours ago
Or you need to better budget the tax revenue you already have.
permalinkparent
[ ]QuelqueChoseRose 0 points 2 hours ago
My understanding is that the V.A.'s fairly well-funded, nowadays. Relative to th
e rest of the federal government, at least. (Its funding's increased in years wh
en even Defense's was cut.) The problem's entirely administrative. It's a bureau
cratic nightmare, and no one's been able to solve it.
I think if a presidential candidate ran on a platform of simply making the feder
al government more efficient, they'd win easily. All the bickering about taxes a
nd spending, and we're still incredibly bad at doing what we want with the money
we tax and spend.

permalinkparent
[ ]hyene 9 points 11 hours ago
no, we don't need to raise taxes. we need to move from mathematically-illogical
capitalism to a scientifically-managed resource-based economy.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ruste 1 point 10 hours ago
Honestly curious, why should the government ever provide a service that is alrea
dy provided for by charities. Why force everyone to pay for something that peopl
e already give willingly to assuming that they provide enough. (I know they don'
t but according to OP there should be NO need for these charities as if it shoul
d be taken care of by the government regardless.)
permalinkparent
[ ]ggqq 7 points 10 hours ago
because there is a fine line we need to skate as a society between socialism and
capitalism to keep the employable people happy. If the government paid for ever
ything, we'd have incredibly high tax. This discourages people from working too
hard with tax brackets so you end up with nobody earning that much and an even h
igher tax because less people earn lots. What we need to do is convince rich peo
ple to be charitable (or rather, just tell rich people to give their money away
for free. I just solved the economic crisis. boom. you're welcome)
permalinkparent
[ ]Otto_Lidenbrock 6 points 9 hours ago
Except that tax brackets have never stopped anyone from making more money. Compl
ain about it, sure... But they still take the raise. It's a patently false argum
ent.
permalinkparent
[ ]undsowbe 10 points 8 hours ago
Your father as a Korean War Veteran would not qualify for the WWP program. Only
post 9/11 Vets qualify. Even at the VA, there are programs that my Vietnam-era h
usband does not qualify for (acupuncture being the most recent). The docs there
want the prestige and kudos that comes from treating recent Vets. It's the same
with the WWP. They know they can rake in the bucks if they play on public sentim
ent for post 9/11 Vets.
Never before have Veterans been excluded from programs based on the era they ser
ved in, until now.
TLDR: Fuck the WWP
permalinkparent
[ ]DrTypo 8 points 7 hours ago
WWP is also something that is wrong. Google wounded warrior project scam, and lo
ok at how much of the money that they collect actually goes to vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 160 points 14 hours ago
That is very sweet and I hope she sees this too! Best of luck on your journey an
d I am so sorry that as a nation we do so little for you and the other veterans.
Our system (what parts are not a clusterfuck) is frustrating at best and I am g
lad you find the courage every day to get up and navigate the system and your sy
mptoms, rather than letting the circumstances win. Hope she sees this! :)
permalink
[ ]mantiskiller 18 points 13 hours ago
I have very little knowledge of what the opportunities available for veterans bu
t always hear that it is inadequate. What improvements do you think the governme
nt could make?
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 29 points 12 hours ago
Well, (I'm assuming you are in the US) the system is just not streamlined and po
orly funded. You go for mental health help, there is no extra or quick he for pe
ople coming in while in crisis. Most get the same wait time as others. You go, y
ou sign up, and then you wait. Some people 6-8 weeks to be seen for someone who
sees you for 10 minutes to determine the meds you need and whether or not therap
y will help. Never mind med changes, trying to get refills. And you can forget h

ousing if you are homeless. Most VA houses/shelters are 30-50 beds and have wait
ing lists a mile long. We have homeless populations of mentally ill veterans who
, with the right meds and a few months of meals and a roof over their head would
be able to work some and get back on their feet. It's just a very broken, poorl
y funded, slow moving system and we as a country should be ashamed of ourselves.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster -3 points 12 hours ago
And you can forget housing if you are homeless.
That's why there is a pension program to give money to those that need it.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 16 points 12 hours ago
Yeah, but in some cases the money isn't enough or the application process is too
long and they are homeless before they get the money. Most homeless vets get mo
ney, its just not enough to live on and they aren't able to hold a job because t
hey can't get enough services to help their PTSD and resulting addictions. I was
a case worker for a veterans program for a year. I only lasted a year. It was t
he worst. The suicide rates, filling out paper work and seeing them be desperate
and only being able to say, 'well, I submitted it. we just have to wait.', not
having housing for them so at 5pm after hours of calling they were back out to w
ander another night on the streets. Ugh, I felt awful.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 21 points 12 hours ago
The pension program is only for vets with wartime service. Peacetime vets don't
have this fallback. Additionally, pension is only for those determined disabled.
There are some newer programs to combat homelessness for vets, but they depend
on location.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster 2 points 11 hours ago*
I'm just saying there is something, many people make it sound like there is no e
ffort at all. Homeless cases are a high priority. You sound like a VSR or VSO?
oh, ok, downvote me for thinking somebody sounds incredibly knowledgeable.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 12 points 11 hours ago
No. I'm a Legal Aid attorney who specializes in vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster 5 points 11 hours ago
Awesome. Nice to meet you.
permalinkparent
[ ]Sulde 37 points 12 hours ago
upvote for visibility.
and dude: when you are going through hell, keep on going. Never never never give
up.
permalink
[ ]endergrrl 36 points 12 hours ago
Female army vet here, though not the one you're looking for. Which VAMC were you
at? I'm glad someone helped you through that and that you found a safe and help
ful space here.
permalink
[ ]crouchtouchpause 32 points 12 hours ago
This is a beautiful post. All I can offer is that it does get better, and that a
nyone capable of writing such an emotionally honest post has already crossed mor
e bridges that most manage in a lifetime.
I hope she reads what you've written, but even if she doesn't you should know th
at many people have understood the sentiment and been moved by it.
permalink
[ ]mablesyrup 9 points 11 hours ago
Posts like this prove why today is the best monday of the year!
permalinkparent
[ ]Tonyman457 12 points 9 hours ago
This post has everything. The tragedy. The cry for help. The rocky montage at th

e VA where everything gets slightly better, but he looses his mentor somewhere.
Then, BAM! they rekindle!
The cherry on top is that her fuckin reddit ID is Bloody Twat Rag. Hits you with
the feels, then brings you back with some good ol' fashioned dark humor.
Most novels aren't this good.
permalinkparent
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
I read this in Stefon's voice :)
permalinkparent
[ ]Edrondol 33 points 6 hours ago
Marine vet here. No PTSD unless you count flashbacks of sitting in a storeroom f
or hours. But I wanted to pop in and say don't sweat the haters. Most of them ar
e just stupid kids trying to be edgy. The rest are assholes because they are ano
nymous and it's how they get their jollies. Just like the military, reddit has g
ood people and reddit has dicks. Unlike the military, you can completely ignore
the dicks here.
Don't know what branch you were in (I didn't read through everything), but I'm g
iving you a big Semper Fi anyway. Stay strong, brother.
permalink
[ ]spookyxskepticism 16 points 11 hours ago
Aaaaand I'm in tears. I'm so glad she was able to help you. Here's an upvote. Ho
pefully with enough of these she'll take notice and see your post! I'm so glad t
hat your experience has helped you on to the path of healing. Thank you so much
for your service <3
permalink
[ ]scarletdrive 3 points 9 hours ago
I needed a good cry today. Bless this post.
permalinkparent
[ ]faeriechyld 16 points 12 hours ago
I hope she gets your message of thanks even if she wants to remain anonymous. An
d I really really hope you start feeling better too. I wish I could do more than
offer internet hugs!
permalink
[ ]schweppesmeoffmyfeet 32 points 13 hours ago
This is why I love Reddit.
permalink
[ ]mightyflynn 14 points 12 hours ago
This is beautiful. I hope you are finding your ground.
permalink
[ ]anniebme 13 points 11 hours ago
Hi friend! I find having a smooth stone in my pocket helps. The stone reminds me
of chilling next to a river. I hope you find your mini-reminder, too!
I have found EMDR therapy rough to go through but helpful to process thoughts an
d memories. It may help you, too. It won't be easy but neither is what you are c
urrently dealing with.
permalink
[ ]BaronessUnderboob 11 points 8 hours ago
I use a piece of hematite sometimes, the weight feels nice in my hands. Though I
don't subscribe to that healing crystals stuff, I just like shiny rocks.
permalinkparent
[ ]anniebme 8 points 8 hours ago
Sounds like a great reminder to just be! Heavy enough to remind, light enough to
carry! Hematite just looks cool, too.
permalinkparent
[ ]DancingHeel 12 points 9 hours ago
I'm not her, but reading this has made me smile. I get down about working at VA
a lot - the bureaucracy and paperwork (and the sexual harassment from older Vets
) are really pushing me out the door. But I like the people I work with, and I k
now they really care about the wellbeing of Veterans. This is a great example of
that. Whether she was an employee or just a fellow Vet receiving services, ther

e are definitely good people in that crazy system.


To anyone else out there struggling with PTSD, other mental health concerns, or
service-related health issues - there is hope. Even when the VA gets horrible pr
ess, even when claims are backlogged - there are good people who want to help an
d are well-equipped to do so. If you haven't sought any help at the VA but you m
ight qualify for services, it's worth a shot. Don't give up. Every VA is, unfort
unately, very different in terms of quality. Shop around if you need to. It real
ly sucks that that's the way it is, because Veterans deserve better care. Govern
ment funding of Veteran services is extremely poor. But I have seen the efforts
of good people help change the system, slowly, from the inside.
permalink
[ ]paulb02 9 points 10 hours ago
This is a great story and I am happy you were able to find one of the good peopl
e at the VA. There is a lot of VA bashing and I understand it is not the best si
tuation for veterans, but some people at the VA do truly care about the Veterans
and their treatment and benefits. While my wife was not a vet herself, she work
s in the Comp and Pension section and deals primarily with the veterans via the
claims process. The Veterans rarely know the person behind the claim but she doe
s go that extra step whenever possible to ensure the claims are not jacked up.
permalink
[ ]TurdFergusonTheThird 10 points 9 hours ago
This post motivated me to join reddit. Long time listener first time poster here
.. Thanks for the energy.
permalink
[ ]TheRealFJ 15 points 6 hours ago
Dude please don't let the ass holes turn you away from Reddit. I get shit all th
e time for the smallest shit here but you need to know that those people are onl
y here to be mean...like the comments on YouTube.
permalink
[ ]Sector_805 23 points 11 hours ago
As a female who has served, I love this and hope she reads this.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
Thank you for your service, ma'am
permalinkparent
[ ]Bm1324 13 points 12 hours ago
Wow, I hope you are able to find her. As someone with PTSD, I find that even a l
ot of well-meaning people don't know what to say or do when I'm triggered or in
a difficult place. They do their best to use methods that they've seen or say th
ings like "It'll be alright," which aren't much help at the moment and too dista
nt for me to connect to. I like that she was real and helped to put you back int
o reality by grounding you in the current place and time. I'll have to remember
this as well :)
permalink
[ ]izzgo 24 points 13 hours ago
Upvoted so maybe she has a better chance to see this.
permalink
[ ]supersayanftw 5 points 12 hours ago
Please update, best of luck to you
permalink
[ ]devoted2mercury 7 points 12 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she sees this; Reddit is awesome.
permalink
[ ]Clayra 7 points 11 hours ago
I know first hand how trying it can be getting treatment from the VA. I sometime
s find that it's easier to go to one of the help desks and ask them to walk you
to wherever you want to go. It won't get you put to the front of the line, but I
've found that things tend to move more smoothly.
Like so much of government work it's just a big good-ole-boys club, and there's
a good chance that anyone working there has to at the very least be friendly wit

h everyone else if they have any hopes of staying.


permalink
[ ]BareKnuckleKitty 7 points 11 hours ago
This is so beautiful. Thank you for your service. I really hope she sees this!
permalink
[ ]petit_cochon 6 points 11 hours ago
Hey buddy, so glad this subreddit has helped you, and I hope it continues to hel
p you as you recover and heal.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 6 points 11 hours ago
OP, thank you for your service and sacrifice. Thanks also to the VA mystery woma
n for her service and sacrifice.
permalink
[ ]nerak1138 6 points 11 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she finds this, but even if she doesn't, she surely knows that s
he made a difference that day. Pay it forward, man. And keep your chin up. Lots
of love to you and all veterans.
permalink
[ ]GimmeMuchosMangos 8 points 11 hours ago
Good luck to you.
permalink
[ ]saraleecupcake 7 points 11 hours ago
Best of luck
permalink
[ ]theBIGnaudd 7 points 10 hours ago
Keep your head up brother! Look for a support group. The VA has resources and ca
n help find you a group to join. Stay strong! There are so many people out there
who care and want to help you out with your experiences.
permalink
[ ]rogue780 6 points 10 hours ago
/r/veterans has some good resources as well
permalink
[ ]SuperChubbs 7 points 8 hours ago
This is really special. I served on a submarine for 4 years getting out in 2012
and I had a hard time readjusting. PTSD and depression combined with feeling lik
e I never related to many other veterans because I served in a different environ
ment then most.
I know it isn't easy to help someone going through PTSD or a panic attack but i'
ve had a few people really come through for me when I needed it and I don't know
where i'd be if they hadn't. Now my life is so much brighter. :) Thank you so m
uch for stepping up and helping that guy, people like you are wonderful.
permalink
[ ]somegaychick 2 points 4 hours ago
I cant even begin to imagine what its like. Thank you for your service. <3
permalinkparent
[ ]SuperChubbs 1 point 3 hours ago
Thank you so much, it used to make me uncomfortable hearing that but it's kinda
nice now that i'm doing so much better :) You made my night.
permalinkparent
[ ]kawaii-throwaway 6 points 8 hours ago
This entire post v was beautiful beginning to end.
My ptsd is considered in remission but I still wear patchouli pull to remind me
of my grandmother. I also have a lyric from one of my favorite songs on my wrist
. Seeing the message (be patient) itself keeps me grounded but being reminded of
the song takes me back to awe inspiring memories that snap me right out of an e
pisode.
It's a magical feeling when you finally find coping mechanisms that actually hel
p. Every moment before that feels like a constant waking nightmare, a landmine o
f triggers, but once you find what works, it's as if a weight is lifted from you
.

permalink
[ ]Milagro_chef 21 points 13 hours ago
I have PTSD. Her definition is exact correct. Thank you.
permalink
[ ]I_require_answers 10 points 10 hours ago
It's disappointing, and sadly unsurprising, that none of the professionals you w
orked with at the VA taught you some grounding skills, I mean that's really trau
ma therapy 101. It makes me sad our vets don't get better treatment than that. A
nyway, glad you guys found each other, and thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]baconchief 5 points 10 hours ago
Thank you for your service Sir! I hope you regain control of your life and can l
ive on happily! Much respect.
permalink
[ ]nocomfychairs 6 points 9 hours ago
Thank you both for your service.
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]Hippiemamklp 5 points 8 hours ago
This made me tear up. I am sending huge cyber hugs to both of you! Sometimes hel
p comes in the most unlikely ways:-) Glad you are both getting help and I hope h
ealing.
permalink
[ ]ilokaners 6 points 7 hours ago
That's great. I wish you the best in healing. Sorry the VA doesn't help as much
as it should. I wish it would change but people like you and your friend are an
inspiration. Thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]squirtsmilk 5 points 7 hours ago
Thank you to our vets.. And to kind and compassionate people .... They make the
world safe for us all.
permalink
[ ]Noculum 7 points 6 hours ago
This warmed my heart. What a lovely story.
permalink
[ ]MonkeyNacho 7 points 6 hours ago
Thank you both for your service. I hope she, and the rest of us here on Reddit,
can help you find a road to inner peace.
permalink
[ ]Lots42 17 points 6 hours ago
You're on a woman-friendly sub-reddit that ended up on /r/all. That's why there'
s some negativity floating to the surface. /r/all is full of jackasses who can't
deal with the fact woman-friendly sub-reddits exist.
Or that women exist.
permalink
[ ]chocobodanger 8 points 7 hours ago
I have PTSD as well from rape. I have been diagnosed but the "system" here has f
ailed me by not getting me treatment needed (saw a counselor, put on depression/
anxiety meds, told I would have therapy and have not seen another counselor sinc

e?) You inadvertently helped me cope just by posting what she had told you.
permalink
[ ]txdahlia 10 points 6 hours ago
Unfortunately social media can bring out the dark side of those to impotent to s
how it in their daily lives because they fear repercussions, so they use an anon
ymous faceless version of themselves and pretend to be a bad ass. You are worthy
of happiness and peace after your great sacrifice. Don't let others put you dow
n.
permalink
[ ]dftexas165 5 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaay! The power of reddit. Glad you found her! I appreciate your service too b
uddy. I really hope you learn how to deal with you're issues brought on by your
experiences at war.
permalink
[ ]lotsofsippycups 4 points 9 hours ago
Aww I'm so glad you found her! :)
permalink
[ ]Ammoholic 3 points 8 hours ago
My dad is a doctor who treats ptsd at that va. Ask to see Dr goldstein. He will
help you for sure!
permalink
[ ]soitgoes182 4 points 8 hours ago
This is fucking beautiful!!
permalink
[ ]liesforliars 4 points 7 hours ago
I'm so happy you found her, man !! The internet can be wonderful..
permalink
[ ]dontdid 5 points 7 hours ago
This is so touching. Thank you both for your service and compassion. I hope you
find relief from what haunts you.
permalink
[ ]TheRainMonster 4 points 7 hours ago
Scotch tastes like peanut butter to you, too?
permalink
[ ]Soxbee 5 points 7 hours ago
It's amazing how one person can really make a difference! I'm so glad you found
her again!
My heart goes out to all of the veterans. I want to hug you all and offer any su
pport I can for what you've been through.
permalink
[ ]jschlik 3 points 6 hours ago*
Glad you found her. Thanks for the humbling and inspiring post.
I dont know if anyone has already mentioned this but Vital Warrior (vitalwarrior
.org) could be a great resource for those suffering from mental illness. I reall
y like what they are doing to help Vets.
permalink
[ ]_Rootshell_ 13 points 11 hours ago
Peanut butter scotch, meet bloody twat rag. A match made in heaven.
permalink
[ ]Upam 8 points 11 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection, if this gets enough upvotes and stays on the m
ain page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story. Best of luck to
the op
permalink
[ ]aazav 4 points 9 hours ago
Be good man, be good.
permalink
[ ]cannedbread1 3 points 2 hours ago
I am so glad that there was a lifeline out there for you at the perfect time. I
am so very sad for negative comments you are getting. Some people truly are arse

hats.
permalink
[ ]TabulaRasaNot [score hidden] 33 minutes ago
You folks with the negative comments to which OP refers, the ones pushing him ba
ck into himself, shame on you. You make me wish karma was real.
permalink
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 8 points 13 hours ago
Upboats
permalink
[ ]saralt 5 points 11 hours ago
And many more boats.
permalinkparent
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 3 points 7 hours ago
best part is they found each other :)
permalinkparent
[ ]theclassywino 4 points 7 hours ago
You're a hero, best of luck to you. Thank you for serving.
permalink
[ ]ArcheryHunter4Life 4 points 5 hours ago
I just wanted to say thank you for stepping up and posting this, it is so touchi
ng. It is incredibly brave of you and I'm sorry for all that you've been through
and for all of the rude people on this site. I will probably never experience w
hat you have been through. I hope you find yourself healed and happy in the futu
re. Most especially, thank you for your service.
permalink
[ ]Code_NY [score hidden] 1 hour ago
I'm sorry you've had to read through negative responses to this post. It's the d
ownside of open forum on the Internet. Just let them wash over you and concentra
te on the good ones, which are plentiful.
I hope things get better for you soon and I'm glad you've managed to reconnect w
ith her :)
permalink
[ ]CrackpotPatriot [score hidden] 34 minutes ago
Takes a lot of courage to reach out a thank you on the interwebz -especially red
dit. Well done. Thank yous are just too rare in this world.
permalink
[ ]NejKidd 6 points 12 hours ago
Can't wait to see the response on /r/bestof
permalink
[ ]Honkbag 10 points 11 hours ago
Not to be "that guy" in an otherwise supportive thread, but breathing/mindfulnes
s meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therapies for panic attack
s. That's science. that's why the counselors likely repeated it.
Im sorry you didnt feel heard, OP, and the psychological empathy With someone pe
rceived/identified as previously traumatized now wise and mentoring seems helpfu
l to you. Also, the act of smoking mimics controlled breathing which contrasts w
ith either the feeling of suffocation or hyperventilation in panic. The peer sim
ply stated things in a different way that resonated based on shared experience.
That also is important...oftentimes people in therapy perceive that therapists "
don't understand" what they've been through, and therefore arent able to help th
em because they havent been through "the same thing". Fact is, even two people i
n the same fight wont experience the situation exactly the same. But that's not
the point. The point is that In addition to wanting to feel understood, OP, you
needed to know you're not alone, and you needed to see someone actively coping a
nd recovering.
Do what works for you OP...but try not to throw the baby out with the bath water
. You may have valid reasons for anger at the VA (and what psychological role th
ey play in the trauma experience) but those techniques are indeed helpful with c
ontinued practice. Maybe it just needed to be explained differently or in more d
epth (other than "just breathe"...which may come across as dismissive). use all

the resources (however limited) you have at your disposal and let your therapst
know what makes you mad.
Good luck.
permalink
[ ]waitwuh 16 points 9 hours ago
breathing/mindfulness meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therap
ies for panic attacks
Perhaps the little trinket or "reminder" is more helpful to mindfulness than jus
t telling somebody to breath.
permalinkparent
[ ]notteoscura 9 points 9 hours ago
I think the clutch is that she could meet him on his level of breathing alone no
t being enough. Some people can breathe their way out of a panic attack. Others
can't. But yes, science does show breathing to be beneficial.
permalinkparent
[ ]3jt 10 points 6 hours ago
Mindful breathing is a grounding technique. However, therapists usually don't te
ll you that, and if they do they don't emphasize the "why". They just say to bre
athe. If you're hyperventilating, and someone says "breathe", that's fucking stu
pid. What is helpful is to focus on something other than the fact that you're ha
ving a panic attack. Ritual activities like cigarette smoking are helpful. So is
mindful breathing. It's the mindful part that helps.
permalinkparent
[ ]PurpleMentat [score hidden] 1 hour ago
So much this. Breathing without grounding is pointless. Grounding is the point o
f slow, deep, fully exhaled breathing.
permalinkparent
[ ]Launchfit 3 points 8 hours ago
You may not even see this comment, but I highly recommend you try using medical
marijuana to help treat your PTSD. I'm not here trying to persuade you to try a
drug you may not have any knowledge of, but in my experience, it has had a treme
ndous benefit to veterans with PTSD. My brother served in Iraq for 3 years and r
eturned home with severe PTSD. After countless weeks of taking drugs that had no
real benefit whatsoever, he tried medical marijuana. Ever since he indulged in
weed, his condition has improved substantially and his PTSD symptoms seem to les
sen every day. Again, weed isn't for everyone and I'm not sitting here telling y
ou it's a magical drug that will completely cure you. I'm simply suggesting some
thing that could be of great use to you and potentially benefit you. Best of luc
k, and thank you for serving our country.
permalink
[ ]persnipboobiees 3 points 8 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection.. if this gets enough upvotes + stays on the ma
in page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story: best of luck to
the op.
permalink
[ ]LaughingJackass 2 points 5 hours ago
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Wanted to say just this.
permalink
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ]LadyLavaLamp -4 points 10 hours ago
bloody_twat_rag and peanut_butter_scotch forever! I SHIP IT
permalink
[+] (13 children)
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 50 minutes ago
I am a vet as well and im going through similar issues but one of your comments
is a little out of line.
" She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good chance she had been raped
."
Thats B/S, sorry to be the negative one in the party.

Thats like saying "Every wife of a soldier that stayed near base cheated on thei
r husband while they were deployed because all women are scandalous."
Obviously not true,
Just because its the army doesn't make them rapist and baby killers.
Please understand im not harassing you. Thats the kind of blanket statement that
could set others off, like me and my response....
permalink
[ ]Commando_Girl [score hidden] 36 minutes ago
Ummmm. There's a big difference between "good chance" and "every".
You have issues if you really don't see the difference between the two.
permalinkparent
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 31 minutes ago
Right but my point is both statements are false.
permalinkparent
[ ] 9 hours ago
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ] 7 hours ago
[+] (7 children)
[+] (15 children)
[ ] 2 hours ago
[ ]heatheranne[M] [score hidden] 1 hour ago
Be nice or go away.
permalink
[+] (2 children)
[+]Lonsdaleite comment score below threshold (1 child)
[+] (1 child)
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (6 children)
[+] (10 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+]nickbernstein comment score below threshold (2 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+] (2 children)
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redtaboo
demented_pants
LittleMissP
heatheranne
kallisti_gold
leedlebug
MeghanAM
AwhMan
...and 10 more
2801
Looking for a woman who helped me very much at the VA. Please read./r/all (self.
TwoXChromosomes)
submitted 14 hours ago * by peanut_butter_scotch
I am a male, and a combat veteran. I was doing well mentally for a while, under
the care of doctors and taking medication for PTSD and depression. One day, I we
nt to the VA to see my doctor and pick up meds. I was not doing well, a divorce
and financial problems had triggered my PTSD. And the VA was very crowded that d
ay. I was just trying to get meds at the pharmacy so I could go hone, but it was
so packed full of people and everyone was so rude and loud that I was having a
full on panic attack. I sat against a wall, shaking and in tears. Then, she stoo
d next to me.
She asked me when I got back. Fellow veterans always can tell when someone is fr
esh from the combat zone, and I know I appeared that way. I told her I had been
back for a few years but I was not doing well. And I just broke down. She listen
ed as I vented about the clusterfuck of rude people, and how I could not calm do
wn. I said, "I know, I am just supposed to fucking breathe, right?" That is what
the counselors at the VA always said. Just breathe, it will be okay.
"No." She said. "That is fucking pointless. Breathing will not help you right no
w. You are having a present reaction to a problem from the past. Right now, you
need to ground yourself and get out of the fear loop so you can calm down and be
gin to relax."
I asked, how do I do that? She told me about how everyone has something differen
t to ground them. Something comforting, something that triggers endorphins and h
appy memories. She said, she has a bottle of clove extract in her pocket, the sm
ell reminds her of her grandmother.
I began thinking of what I could use. She asked me if I wanted to go have a smok
e with her outside, and I did, so we went to the smoking gazebo. I asked her whe
re she learned these things that she was telling me about, no one ever understoo
d and gave me tips that helped.
Then she told me about reddit. And about a few subs that are primarily for women
, to discuss anything, and a lot of women talked about these coping skills to co
pe after rape and domestic violence. I felt sad suddenly, and thought of the rap
e problem in the military. She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good
chance she had been raped. As she spoke, I thought of how bad she had it. Not on

ly did she have PTSD like me and so many other men do, but she had PTSD from get
ting raped by the very men that were supposed to have her back.
She told me about the online community that helps her more than the stupid group
therapy we all had to go to. So I have lurked on reddit for a while. But I want
ed to reach out and thank her, but no idea what her username is. I know she freq
uents subs like this that are aimed at women, so I was hoping that maybe she wou
ld see this and would know how much it meant to me that she helped me. If anyone
here knows of a female veteran that frequents here, let me know.
Mysterious woman from the VA, thank you so much. You helped me find a path to he
aling. And I hope you find this.
Edit: I made this post then took a nap. I checked reddit on my phone and noticed
the very overwhelming response. Thank you, to everyone, for your support. And I
think I may have found her! My apologies for not respondingnto most of you, som
etimes I find even interacting with strangers online can be very anxiety inducin
g so I tend to steer clear, which is why I took so long to even make an account
on here. But I appreciate the kindness; I was not expecting to get this kind of
response. Thank you.
And final edit: well, found her. And, that is all. Being able to talk with her a
gain is great, and the positive response is nice, but the negative shit and the
insults being thrown and both her and I is very sad. I do not know why people mu
st hurt others when they are getting kind attention from others but I am told th
at is the way of Reddit. No, we will not be dating, she has a boyfriend which I
knew because he was there when I first met her. Tomorrow we are meeting for lunc
h, maybe she will post pics of it. I thought this would be fun and exciting but
with the negativity I am dreading even coming on reddit again. So, if she wants
to post pics tomorrow that will be up to her.
323 commentsshare
all 323 comments
sorted by: best
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1270 points 12 hours ago*
So, I passed this post by with an upvote and moved on. I was watching TV and it
clicked.
Was this at the VA in Loma Linda, CA?
And I appreciate the gold, guys, but please do not gild me anymore. I get the se
ntiment, but please, give it to someone else. I have no use for it.
permalink
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 518 points 11 hours ago
Yes! The VA in Loma Linda! Sorry I took so long to respond, I made this post, th
en took my meds and ended up passing out. Is this you?
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 141 points 11 hours ago
I hope so, this is one of the best things I've read in a while.
permalinkparent
[ ]joethomma 71 points 7 hours ago
It was all made possible by /u/bloody_twat_rag
permalinkparent
[ ]AcknowledgeTheLlama 17 points 6 hours ago
And her grandmothers cloves
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 117 points 11 hours ago
Oh. I am still new to this, I have only been lurking on reddit for a few weeks,
maybe. I did not know that.
permalink
[ ]tryingtomakeit9 74 points 11 hours ago
So...is it her?
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 210 points 10 hours ago
Yes it is her!
permalinkparent

[ ]bhamv 38 points 10 hours ago


Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]allygraceless 23 points 10 hours ago
This makes me so happy :)
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 22 points 8 hours ago
I love /u/bloody_twat_rag. She always has words of wisdom.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 10 points 7 hours ago
Is she well known on this site?
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 18 points 7 hours ago
I have no idea, but I find her name very memorable.
permalinkparent
[ ]A_Cylon_Raider 9 points 7 hours ago
Probably not, it's just a common thing people joke about here when really nice o
r helpful people have surprising or strange usernames.
permalinkparent
[ ]aazav 21 points 9 hours ago
Glad you found the woman who helped you.
Feel better and when you can, pass on the same help that she gave you.
Cheers.
permalinkparent
[ ]terriblecowgirl 12 points 10 hours ago
This is beautiful. I'm glad you found her!!! :)
permalinkparent
[ ]littlemissderpy 7 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]digitalyss 7 points 9 hours ago
Holy shit
permalinkparent
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 10 points 10 hours ago
They are apparently PMing right now, so... I think so?
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]your_ex_girlfriend- 40 points 11 hours ago
The MUA in me loves this cat eye and the TwoXer in me wants it to be her... even
if it is kind of weird to repost this album here...
permalink
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 40 points 10 hours ago
Tape. That is my secret here on the eye make up. Tape.
permalinkparent
[ ]Mojitana 6 points 8 hours ago
That's a really great tip. Thanks!
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 138 points 11 hours ago
Wow I look like shit in those pics.
permalink
[ ]LabGeeked 156 points 11 hours ago
Shaddap, you are lovely in every way.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 186 points 10 hours ago
Yes, she is as beautiful outside as she is on the inside.
permalinkparent
[ ]ilovegingermen 92 points 9 hours ago
peanut_butter_scotch and bloody_twat_rags - A Love Story
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 118 points 9 hours ago

Perhaps, but I am in a happy relationship with children. This could be the start
of a friendship, though.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 60 points 10 hours ago
Sorry, I honestly didn't think you looked bad and they were from the first post
with your face that I found. I was just trying to help u/peanut_butter_scotch, d
oesn't sound like he knows how to look at a users' profile.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 120 points 10 hours ago
Its OK, the pics are just not flattering because I posted them to MUA for CC. Me
and him are talking on fb messenger right now, I think he is a bit overwhelmed
and shocked by the response he got.
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 51 points 10 hours ago
Okay now that is just fantastic. Cheers to you for being the good person you nee
ded to be at the time you needed to be it. It sounds like you selflessly helped
a fellow human when it really mattered.
permalinkparent
[ ]HaloNinjee 12 points 9 hours ago
I <3 you.
I know of the typical subs like this but if you have some suggestions for more I
'm looking to show my wife around the friendlier side of reddit.
permalinkparent
[ ]itsme_eloise 16 points 9 hours ago
Hey there - what does your wife like? TwoX is good, /r/TrollXChromosomes is amaz
ing as is their brother sub /r/TrollYChromosome. I personally also like some sub
reddits aimed at improving my appearance that have a bit more of a feminine comm
unity like /r/MakeupAddiction, /r/SkincareAddiction and /r/HaircareScience. Depe
nding on what she likes, there's probably a subreddit for it!
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]cviwood 10 points 8 hours ago
I like the SFWPornNetwork. Also it is not porn, they are sub reddits with pretty
pretty pictures.
/r/AbandonedPorn has images like this old stairway.
Check the right columnfor related subreddits.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 5 points 9 hours ago
Twox, and if you look in the sidebar they have links for related subs. That is h
ow I navigate around.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 17 points 10 hours ago
So it is you? Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]marshmallowmermaid 7 points 9 hours ago
:) I'm glad you got to connect.
permalinkparent
[ ]KitsBeach 4 points 5 hours ago
I just want to say that I recognize your name from other lady-oriented subs and
I thought you always seemed like a swell gal. This post cements that!
permalinkparent
[ ]diestate_enter 3 points 8 hours ago
Ask him how he came up with his username.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 32 points 7 hours ago
Are you talking about me? This is the name my kid gave to my dog. I think it is
the name of a dog on a kid show. I'm not a creative person, and the name always
reminds me of my daughter and makes me smile.

permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]aazav 14 points 9 hours ago
Ahhh. You look fine.
Glad you took the time to help peanut_butter_scotch out.
You did good.
permalinkparent
[ ]6F6A9O9 16 points 9 hours ago
I think you're real pretty on the inside and on the outside. What we call "all t
he way pretty". You're all the way pretty.
permalinkparent
[ ]GreenlyRose 7 points 7 hours ago
Don't be silly, you look lovely in those pics! :-)
permalinkparent
[ ]Pandibabi 18 points 10 hours ago
Wow u r beautiful .. from another heterosexual female btw dont want to sound cre
epy ok
permalinkparent
[ ]screaming-trees 14 points 10 hours ago
wow i love the great attidfue in this subreddit 10/10
permalinkparent
[ ]darkshy 6 points 8 hours ago
I mean, it could be worse. You look fine. You could actually look like a bloody
twat rag though. That would be terrible.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
In my defense I am wearing a lot of make up in those well mostly eye make up, th
ey were posted to makeupaddiction
permalinkparent
[ ]PushitClaw -2 points 6 hours ago
Just breathe...
permalinkparent
[ ]houseofbacon 12 points 11 hours ago
We must know if its a match. The suspense is thicker than my backup jar of peanu
t butter.
permalinkparent
[ ]Nozphexezora 10 points 11 hours ago
WooOOOooo. Lucky you! I've had a similar situation once, but about drug addictio
n. She never came back.
permalinkparent
[ ]BloodGuts_AngelCake 10 points 9 hours ago
I don't know why but this brought a tear to my eye. It's nice to see there are k
ind people in this world.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ask_Me_What_Love_Is 6 points 6 hours ago
Hey pbs. I'm not her nor a veteran but I've had my fair share of woes and work i
n the loma Linda area (redlands) and if you ever need someone to catch a smoke o
r talk with, grab a beer or lunch with I am here. Just pm me and let me know.
permalinkparent
[ ]kaleybrennan 4 points 8 hours ago
hey idk if you'll see this but you should do a full tutorial of how you did that
makeup. and show what kind you use <3
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 13 points 7 hours ago
I think this was directed at the wrong person.
permalinkparent
[ ]Call_me_Kelly [score hidden] 1 hour ago
If there is a vet center near you I highly recommend checking them out.
http://www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
They specialize in ptsd and reintigration. When the VA became impossible for me

to go to because the noise, the people, and many bad experiences caused me to ha
ve panic attacks any time I entered I began going to the vet center for ptsd hel
p instead.
The atmosphere at my local vet center was awesome. The counselor I saw also help
ed me by creating scripts of what I needed to say to my pdoc and would message h
er on my behalf occasionally.
Also I began teleconference appointments with my va pdoc from a local outpatient
VA clinic. I didn't have the stress of going back into the VA and it allowed me
to tweak and adjust my meds when needed.
If you have nightmares, talk to a pdoc about prazosin. It helps reduce the whole
waking up flooded with adrenalin from nightmares thing. http://www.webmd.com/ato-z-guides/prazosin-for-ptsd
Also, the va prescribed me Xanax for anxiety for two years. If it's prescribed l
ong term for you talk to your doc about longterm side effects. I became full blo
wn agorophobic on it and it took away a year of my life. Imagine my anger when I
learner the va was supposed to have moved away from prescribing it long term du
e to terrible side effects years BEFORE they prescribed it to me.
/r/veterans is a pretty cool subreddit if you've never been.
I so glad someone was able to give you a stepping stone towards healing. I keep
pictures of my kids in my wallet to help ground me during panic attacks. I also
highly recommend changing the immediate surroundings. Leave the room or building
when one starts and it can sometimes help reduce the damage.
Kelly
permalinkparent
[ ]lawdudette -2 points 6 hours ago
/r/bestof!!!!!!
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 12 points 6 hours ago
I hope not I can not handle the harassment I'm not logging in again this is it I
am done
permalinkparent
[ ]PM_ME_TITS_MLADY 12 points 4 hours ago
Sigh, the internet is for everyone. But that's precisely the reason why sometime
s it's not for everyone.
Reddit is one of those places.
I wish you all the best, focus on the positive, always. It'll help at times, I p
romise.
permalinkparent
[ ]CochinBrahmaLover 2 points 3 hours ago
You can delete your account.
Go to preferences and there's an option to delete.
permalinkparent
[+] (1 child)
[ ]Notasurgeon 30 points 11 hours ago
Hey, I was working there today. What a coincidence.
permalinkparent
[ ]jonnyk354 -4 points 6 hours ago
Can you confirm that this event occurred?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Read the post. Did not say it happened today. It happened at the beginning of th
e month.
permalinkparent
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (4 children)
[ ]LoCHiF 22 points 10 hours ago
Gold is largely a donation to reddit. No-one really uses it.
permalinkparent
[ ]DarlinUntitled18 7 points 5 hours ago
I like to think of it somewhat symbolically, as in "Someone made a donation to R
eddit in your name!" sort of like, this comment, this person, or this content is

what I want to see on Reddit. People guild her because she is the kind of perso
n they want their user base to be, and they're proud to use the same website as
her.
permalinkparent
[ ]LoCHiF 3 points 2 hours ago
Agreed. It's a combination of a super emphatic upvote and the donation to reddit
as a sort of "yay reddit!" gesture.
permalinkparent
[ ]DiffidentDissident 9 points 10 hours ago
Hey, thanks for looking out for OP. I think that makes you pretty great.
permalinkparent
[ ]Drachte 17 points 11 hours ago
Op pls
permalinkparent
[ ]rightioushippie 7 points 8 hours ago
so what were the subreddits that helped you find coping mechanisms?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 11 points 8 hours ago
Twox, actually. I had made a post a while ago about being trigger by a video I s
aw of animal abuse that triggered flashbacks from sexual abuse in my childhood a
nd a lot of people gave me grounding tips.
permalinkparent
[ ]King_Penguin_IV [score hidden] 49 minutes ago
What grounding tips helped you the most?
permalinkparent
[ ]wibblywobblychilango 5 points 10 hours ago
Holy shit, things like this are why I love reddit so much! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]monkeiboi 8 points 10 hours ago
ignore her! Everyone gild her!
permalinkparent
[ ]MultiversEngineer 3 points 2 hours ago
Air Force vet here. I have PTSD with panic disorder.
This post is amazing to me. I can appreciate anyone who helps their fellow vets.
I am still in the process of gaining control over my own panic problems. Any ad
vice would be greatly appreciated.
PS: I am currently in school and was also diagnosed with ADD recently. The last
two years have just been a wreck.
permalinkparent
[ ]Defeat 3 points 4 hours ago
Hey there. If it makes you feel better: reddit runs very few ads. Criminally few
. This site was hemorrhaging money, and it probably still is. A few years ago (h
onestly I can't remember reddit time just sort of blurs together for me) reddit
was plagued by serve issues. Nothing would work or load. Then some genius invent
ed reddit gold. Or maybe it was mold first. Either way reddit was saved. Gold is
a donation more to the site we all mooch off of, and is definitely not a reward
for you being amazing. Also panic attacks fucking suck so thank you for helping
that guy out .
permalinkparent
[ ]MrFeles [score hidden] 58 minutes ago
Goddamnit. Read story, imagine some sort of fancy saint. Man calls out to the cr
owd, will she reveal herself?
Blood twat rag emerges.
What a strange mixture of emotions.
Also slightly relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2CWsqGFgkA
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey -2 points 7 hours ago
Weird, I guess you live in Riverside? What are the odds you would live in the sa
me county as myself.
permalinkparent

[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago


Well, seeing that the Loma Linda VA is used by both Riverside and San Bernardino
Counties, and considering how vast both of those counties are, plus people from
other counties who use that VA because they do not want to go to the others in
LA Jolla or Long Beach due to distance or whatever reasons, it is not so unlikel
y.
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey 4 points 6 hours ago
Well, even though I'm technically a veteran now, I've never had a reason to visi
t the VA and fortunately do not have any problems with PTSD or anything of that
nature. (Depression, but nothing related to my time in).
Plus, I just moved here, so I thought that was interesting.
Either way, best of luck to you. I'm sorry your time in had some truly shitty mo
ments, for lack of a better phrase. I'm sure you're aware, but most of us are ag
ainst that shit. At least, I hope.
permalinkparent
[+]apologies-in-advance comment score below threshold (0 children)
[ ]Walkingonadream7 -1 points 3 hours ago
You can use it to buy some wax for your cross
permalinkparent
[+] (6 children)
[ ]RediscoveredIllusion 53 points 12 hours ago
I have PTSD as well, from abuse situations like so many others here. I am so gla
d someone came along to help you cope. I had forgotten about grounding myself th
is way and reading your post for her... Well, whomever she is, if she finds this
, thank you from me as well.
permalink
[ ]Ivyleaguehandjob 185 points 13 hours ago
My father is a Korean War vet. We sat watching TV and the (new) Wounded Warrior
Project donation commercial comes on and my dad gets very angry. These commercia
ls are on par if not emotionally worse than the starving children and beaten dog
commercials.
We have done something very wrong to our veterans. There should be no need for c
harities like this. NO charities targeting veterans in need of food, clothing, s
helter, education, job training and more.
WWP Purpose:
To raise awareness and enlist the public's aid for the needs of injured service
members.
My father says "NO, that's our governments job, our employer!"
permalink
[ ]athingz 39 points 11 hours ago*
job training and more.
As an Iraq veteran that can't even seem to get a job interview at Walmart, I'm s
tarting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm not sure I have PTSD from my service, but about 8 years later when I finally
went in to a sliding scale clinic for depression symptoms and inability to conc
entrate/study (failing school), they called it "survivor's guilt". I wish it was
my truck that got hit. I volunteered for every convoy after that. Never heard o
f survivor's guilt until I was out for 8 years.
Never used the VA before. Not even sure where to start or where they're located.
I just learned a couple months ago you don't have to be a 20 year vet or have a
disability % to qualify, apparently. All third-hand knowledge. I thought you co
uld only use them for stuff that happened while in, and there's no proof of anyt
hing health related on military record. I've seen my folder right before ETS.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 39 points 10 hours ago
You can use the VA for medical care, even if you do not have a disability claim.
You just need to have served 180 days active service. Go to a local VA with you
r 214 and fill out some paperwork, you can usually be seen right away.
permalinkparent

[ ]panthera213 8 points 9 hours ago


Does your VA offer the chance to look at having service animals? My boyfriend is
in the CF and some of the guys here have gotten service animals to help them wi
th their PTSD. I know that it's been a comfort to them, or at least maybe anothe
r avenue to explore to help you out. Hope you are feeling better.
permalinkparent
[ ]IT_is_not_all_I_am 10 points 8 hours ago
Yeah, I know a guy that breeds and trains dogs for Rebuilding Warriors. I know h
e's trained them for folks with PTSD, but no idea how that organization selects
recipients. Might be worth looking into.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
Or, find someone that gets rescue dogs and trains them instead of dogs that were
bred just for.
permalinkparent
[ ]asianfromamerica 1 point 6 hours ago
SO ARE YOU THE WOMAN THAT HELPED THIS MAN? You are amazing I hope you realize th
at.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1 point 5 hours ago
No. I'm not. I'm average at best.
permalinkparent
[ ]darkangl187 7 points 8 hours ago
the VA is for those who served and discharged honorably, service connection or n
ot. please check them out it sounds like you need to consider service connection
for your survivors guilt.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 7 points 8 hours ago
Not just an honorable discharge. As long as you did not receive a dishonorable.
General, GUH, etc are accepted.
permalinkparent
[ ]Yeynna 4 points 6 hours ago
I'm starting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's the same for the unemployed, disable
d, and homeless who aren't veterans in the US (or anywhere else, I'm not America
n), I don't know what to say about everything else you faced because I can't ima
gine what living through it is like, but I want to say that no matter how much i
t seems like if you were suffering in the "right" way people would care more it'
s not true, it seems that way for everyone, but we're not alone in the facing th
is, and it's not your fault people are dismissing and scornful.
permalinkparent
[ ]Lots42 3 points 5 hours ago
www.211.org has lots of resourves for mental, physical and related help. Easy to
find lots and lots of stuff.
permalinkparent
[ ]preflop 3 points 2 hours ago
Hours late, but if you're having trouble getting things arranged, put in a call
to your local congressional office. You'll probably be assigned to a constituent
casework person and they'll put you in touch with who you need to talk to and w
here you need to go.
permalinkparent
[ ]mmm_toasty 19 points 12 hours ago
Hopefully at some point in the future the laws and regulations regarding providi
ng aid of all kinds to veterans in need will be fixed. For now though, as ways o
f acquiring the funding that the government fails to provide, I think that they
serve an important purpose.
permalinkparent
[ ]pmmesomeavocado 16 points 12 hours ago
The problem is that to do that, you need to raise taxes. And if you do that, you
're a freedom hating commie.

permalinkparent
[ ]bouncer4819 19 points 11 hours ago
Or we could just cut from our extremely overfunded defense budget, and reallocat
e those funds to actually help our vets
permalinkparent
[ ]vuhleeitee 0 points 4 hours ago
Yes. We should fire a whole bunch of people that are a few years away from retir
ement anyway. That makes complete sense.
You do realize that cutting the defense budget just means that it will create mo
re veterans who are at a loss for a stable source of income.
permalinkparent
[ ]tiehunter 3 points 4 hours ago
Or... Instead of buying jets that the military neither needs nor wants, we could
spend that money on veterans.
permalinkparent
[ ]athennna 8 points 11 hours ago
Or you need to better budget the tax revenue you already have.
permalinkparent
[ ]QuelqueChoseRose 0 points 2 hours ago
My understanding is that the V.A.'s fairly well-funded, nowadays. Relative to th
e rest of the federal government, at least. (Its funding's increased in years wh
en even Defense's was cut.) The problem's entirely administrative. It's a bureau
cratic nightmare, and no one's been able to solve it.
I think if a presidential candidate ran on a platform of simply making the feder
al government more efficient, they'd win easily. All the bickering about taxes a
nd spending, and we're still incredibly bad at doing what we want with the money
we tax and spend.
permalinkparent
[ ]hyene 9 points 11 hours ago
no, we don't need to raise taxes. we need to move from mathematically-illogical
capitalism to a scientifically-managed resource-based economy.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ruste 1 point 10 hours ago
Honestly curious, why should the government ever provide a service that is alrea
dy provided for by charities. Why force everyone to pay for something that peopl
e already give willingly to assuming that they provide enough. (I know they don'
t but according to OP there should be NO need for these charities as if it shoul
d be taken care of by the government regardless.)
permalinkparent
[ ]ggqq 7 points 10 hours ago
because there is a fine line we need to skate as a society between socialism and
capitalism to keep the employable people happy. If the government paid for ever
ything, we'd have incredibly high tax. This discourages people from working too
hard with tax brackets so you end up with nobody earning that much and an even h
igher tax because less people earn lots. What we need to do is convince rich peo
ple to be charitable (or rather, just tell rich people to give their money away
for free. I just solved the economic crisis. boom. you're welcome)
permalinkparent
[ ]Otto_Lidenbrock 6 points 9 hours ago
Except that tax brackets have never stopped anyone from making more money. Compl
ain about it, sure... But they still take the raise. It's a patently false argum
ent.
permalinkparent
[ ]undsowbe 10 points 8 hours ago
Your father as a Korean War Veteran would not qualify for the WWP program. Only
post 9/11 Vets qualify. Even at the VA, there are programs that my Vietnam-era h
usband does not qualify for (acupuncture being the most recent). The docs there
want the prestige and kudos that comes from treating recent Vets. It's the same
with the WWP. They know they can rake in the bucks if they play on public sentim
ent for post 9/11 Vets.

Never before have Veterans been excluded from programs based on the era they ser
ved in, until now.
TLDR: Fuck the WWP
permalinkparent
[ ]DrTypo 8 points 7 hours ago
WWP is also something that is wrong. Google wounded warrior project scam, and lo
ok at how much of the money that they collect actually goes to vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 160 points 14 hours ago
That is very sweet and I hope she sees this too! Best of luck on your journey an
d I am so sorry that as a nation we do so little for you and the other veterans.
Our system (what parts are not a clusterfuck) is frustrating at best and I am g
lad you find the courage every day to get up and navigate the system and your sy
mptoms, rather than letting the circumstances win. Hope she sees this! :)
permalink
[ ]mantiskiller 18 points 13 hours ago
I have very little knowledge of what the opportunities available for veterans bu
t always hear that it is inadequate. What improvements do you think the governme
nt could make?
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 29 points 12 hours ago
Well, (I'm assuming you are in the US) the system is just not streamlined and po
orly funded. You go for mental health help, there is no extra or quick he for pe
ople coming in while in crisis. Most get the same wait time as others. You go, y
ou sign up, and then you wait. Some people 6-8 weeks to be seen for someone who
sees you for 10 minutes to determine the meds you need and whether or not therap
y will help. Never mind med changes, trying to get refills. And you can forget h
ousing if you are homeless. Most VA houses/shelters are 30-50 beds and have wait
ing lists a mile long. We have homeless populations of mentally ill veterans who
, with the right meds and a few months of meals and a roof over their head would
be able to work some and get back on their feet. It's just a very broken, poorl
y funded, slow moving system and we as a country should be ashamed of ourselves.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster -3 points 12 hours ago
And you can forget housing if you are homeless.
That's why there is a pension program to give money to those that need it.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 16 points 12 hours ago
Yeah, but in some cases the money isn't enough or the application process is too
long and they are homeless before they get the money. Most homeless vets get mo
ney, its just not enough to live on and they aren't able to hold a job because t
hey can't get enough services to help their PTSD and resulting addictions. I was
a case worker for a veterans program for a year. I only lasted a year. It was t
he worst. The suicide rates, filling out paper work and seeing them be desperate
and only being able to say, 'well, I submitted it. we just have to wait.', not
having housing for them so at 5pm after hours of calling they were back out to w
ander another night on the streets. Ugh, I felt awful.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 21 points 12 hours ago
The pension program is only for vets with wartime service. Peacetime vets don't
have this fallback. Additionally, pension is only for those determined disabled.
There are some newer programs to combat homelessness for vets, but they depend
on location.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster 2 points 11 hours ago*
I'm just saying there is something, many people make it sound like there is no e
ffort at all. Homeless cases are a high priority. You sound like a VSR or VSO?
oh, ok, downvote me for thinking somebody sounds incredibly knowledgeable.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 12 points 11 hours ago

No. I'm a Legal Aid attorney who specializes in vets.


permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster 5 points 11 hours ago
Awesome. Nice to meet you.
permalinkparent
[ ]Sulde 37 points 12 hours ago
upvote for visibility.
and dude: when you are going through hell, keep on going. Never never never give
up.
permalink
[ ]endergrrl 36 points 12 hours ago
Female army vet here, though not the one you're looking for. Which VAMC were you
at? I'm glad someone helped you through that and that you found a safe and help
ful space here.
permalink
[ ]crouchtouchpause 32 points 12 hours ago
This is a beautiful post. All I can offer is that it does get better, and that a
nyone capable of writing such an emotionally honest post has already crossed mor
e bridges that most manage in a lifetime.
I hope she reads what you've written, but even if she doesn't you should know th
at many people have understood the sentiment and been moved by it.
permalink
[ ]mablesyrup 9 points 11 hours ago
Posts like this prove why today is the best monday of the year!
permalinkparent
[ ]Tonyman457 12 points 9 hours ago
This post has everything. The tragedy. The cry for help. The rocky montage at th
e VA where everything gets slightly better, but he looses his mentor somewhere.
Then, BAM! they rekindle!
The cherry on top is that her fuckin reddit ID is Bloody Twat Rag. Hits you with
the feels, then brings you back with some good ol' fashioned dark humor.
Most novels aren't this good.
permalinkparent
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
I read this in Stefon's voice :)
permalinkparent
[ ]Edrondol 33 points 6 hours ago
Marine vet here. No PTSD unless you count flashbacks of sitting in a storeroom f
or hours. But I wanted to pop in and say don't sweat the haters. Most of them ar
e just stupid kids trying to be edgy. The rest are assholes because they are ano
nymous and it's how they get their jollies. Just like the military, reddit has g
ood people and reddit has dicks. Unlike the military, you can completely ignore
the dicks here.
Don't know what branch you were in (I didn't read through everything), but I'm g
iving you a big Semper Fi anyway. Stay strong, brother.
permalink
[ ]spookyxskepticism 16 points 11 hours ago
Aaaaand I'm in tears. I'm so glad she was able to help you. Here's an upvote. Ho
pefully with enough of these she'll take notice and see your post! I'm so glad t
hat your experience has helped you on to the path of healing. Thank you so much
for your service <3
permalink
[ ]scarletdrive 3 points 9 hours ago
I needed a good cry today. Bless this post.
permalinkparent
[ ]faeriechyld 16 points 12 hours ago
I hope she gets your message of thanks even if she wants to remain anonymous. An
d I really really hope you start feeling better too. I wish I could do more than
offer internet hugs!
permalink

[ ]schweppesmeoffmyfeet 32 points 13 hours ago


This is why I love Reddit.
permalink
[ ]mightyflynn 14 points 12 hours ago
This is beautiful. I hope you are finding your ground.
permalink
[ ]anniebme 13 points 11 hours ago
Hi friend! I find having a smooth stone in my pocket helps. The stone reminds me
of chilling next to a river. I hope you find your mini-reminder, too!
I have found EMDR therapy rough to go through but helpful to process thoughts an
d memories. It may help you, too. It won't be easy but neither is what you are c
urrently dealing with.
permalink
[ ]BaronessUnderboob 11 points 8 hours ago
I use a piece of hematite sometimes, the weight feels nice in my hands. Though I
don't subscribe to that healing crystals stuff, I just like shiny rocks.
permalinkparent
[ ]anniebme 8 points 8 hours ago
Sounds like a great reminder to just be! Heavy enough to remind, light enough to
carry! Hematite just looks cool, too.
permalinkparent
[ ]DancingHeel 12 points 9 hours ago
I'm not her, but reading this has made me smile. I get down about working at VA
a lot - the bureaucracy and paperwork (and the sexual harassment from older Vets
) are really pushing me out the door. But I like the people I work with, and I k
now they really care about the wellbeing of Veterans. This is a great example of
that. Whether she was an employee or just a fellow Vet receiving services, ther
e are definitely good people in that crazy system.
To anyone else out there struggling with PTSD, other mental health concerns, or
service-related health issues - there is hope. Even when the VA gets horrible pr
ess, even when claims are backlogged - there are good people who want to help an
d are well-equipped to do so. If you haven't sought any help at the VA but you m
ight qualify for services, it's worth a shot. Don't give up. Every VA is, unfort
unately, very different in terms of quality. Shop around if you need to. It real
ly sucks that that's the way it is, because Veterans deserve better care. Govern
ment funding of Veteran services is extremely poor. But I have seen the efforts
of good people help change the system, slowly, from the inside.
permalink
[ ]paulb02 9 points 10 hours ago
This is a great story and I am happy you were able to find one of the good peopl
e at the VA. There is a lot of VA bashing and I understand it is not the best si
tuation for veterans, but some people at the VA do truly care about the Veterans
and their treatment and benefits. While my wife was not a vet herself, she work
s in the Comp and Pension section and deals primarily with the veterans via the
claims process. The Veterans rarely know the person behind the claim but she doe
s go that extra step whenever possible to ensure the claims are not jacked up.
permalink
[ ]TurdFergusonTheThird 10 points 9 hours ago
This post motivated me to join reddit. Long time listener first time poster here
.. Thanks for the energy.
permalink
[ ]TheRealFJ 15 points 6 hours ago
Dude please don't let the ass holes turn you away from Reddit. I get shit all th
e time for the smallest shit here but you need to know that those people are onl
y here to be mean...like the comments on YouTube.
permalink
[ ]Sector_805 23 points 11 hours ago
As a female who has served, I love this and hope she reads this.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago

Thank you for your service, ma'am


permalinkparent
[ ]Bm1324 13 points 12 hours ago
Wow, I hope you are able to find her. As someone with PTSD, I find that even a l
ot of well-meaning people don't know what to say or do when I'm triggered or in
a difficult place. They do their best to use methods that they've seen or say th
ings like "It'll be alright," which aren't much help at the moment and too dista
nt for me to connect to. I like that she was real and helped to put you back int
o reality by grounding you in the current place and time. I'll have to remember
this as well :)
permalink
[ ]izzgo 24 points 13 hours ago
Upvoted so maybe she has a better chance to see this.
permalink
[ ]supersayanftw 5 points 12 hours ago
Please update, best of luck to you
permalink
[ ]devoted2mercury 7 points 12 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she sees this; Reddit is awesome.
permalink
[ ]Clayra 7 points 11 hours ago
I know first hand how trying it can be getting treatment from the VA. I sometime
s find that it's easier to go to one of the help desks and ask them to walk you
to wherever you want to go. It won't get you put to the front of the line, but I
've found that things tend to move more smoothly.
Like so much of government work it's just a big good-ole-boys club, and there's
a good chance that anyone working there has to at the very least be friendly wit
h everyone else if they have any hopes of staying.
permalink
[ ]BareKnuckleKitty 7 points 11 hours ago
This is so beautiful. Thank you for your service. I really hope she sees this!
permalink
[ ]petit_cochon 6 points 11 hours ago
Hey buddy, so glad this subreddit has helped you, and I hope it continues to hel
p you as you recover and heal.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 6 points 11 hours ago
OP, thank you for your service and sacrifice. Thanks also to the VA mystery woma
n for her service and sacrifice.
permalink
[ ]nerak1138 6 points 11 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she finds this, but even if she doesn't, she surely knows that s
he made a difference that day. Pay it forward, man. And keep your chin up. Lots
of love to you and all veterans.
permalink
[ ]GimmeMuchosMangos 8 points 11 hours ago
Good luck to you.
permalink
[ ]saraleecupcake 7 points 11 hours ago
Best of luck
permalink
[ ]theBIGnaudd 7 points 10 hours ago
Keep your head up brother! Look for a support group. The VA has resources and ca
n help find you a group to join. Stay strong! There are so many people out there
who care and want to help you out with your experiences.
permalink
[ ]rogue780 6 points 10 hours ago
/r/veterans has some good resources as well
permalink
[ ]SuperChubbs 7 points 8 hours ago

This is really special. I served on a submarine for 4 years getting out in 2012
and I had a hard time readjusting. PTSD and depression combined with feeling lik
e I never related to many other veterans because I served in a different environ
ment then most.
I know it isn't easy to help someone going through PTSD or a panic attack but i'
ve had a few people really come through for me when I needed it and I don't know
where i'd be if they hadn't. Now my life is so much brighter. :) Thank you so m
uch for stepping up and helping that guy, people like you are wonderful.
permalink
[ ]somegaychick 2 points 4 hours ago
I cant even begin to imagine what its like. Thank you for your service. <3
permalinkparent
[ ]SuperChubbs 1 point 3 hours ago
Thank you so much, it used to make me uncomfortable hearing that but it's kinda
nice now that i'm doing so much better :) You made my night.
permalinkparent
[ ]kawaii-throwaway 6 points 8 hours ago
This entire post v was beautiful beginning to end.
My ptsd is considered in remission but I still wear patchouli pull to remind me
of my grandmother. I also have a lyric from one of my favorite songs on my wrist
. Seeing the message (be patient) itself keeps me grounded but being reminded of
the song takes me back to awe inspiring memories that snap me right out of an e
pisode.
It's a magical feeling when you finally find coping mechanisms that actually hel
p. Every moment before that feels like a constant waking nightmare, a landmine o
f triggers, but once you find what works, it's as if a weight is lifted from you
.
permalink
[ ]Milagro_chef 21 points 13 hours ago
I have PTSD. Her definition is exact correct. Thank you.
permalink
[ ]I_require_answers 10 points 10 hours ago
It's disappointing, and sadly unsurprising, that none of the professionals you w
orked with at the VA taught you some grounding skills, I mean that's really trau
ma therapy 101. It makes me sad our vets don't get better treatment than that. A
nyway, glad you guys found each other, and thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]baconchief 5 points 10 hours ago
Thank you for your service Sir! I hope you regain control of your life and can l
ive on happily! Much respect.
permalink
[ ]nocomfychairs 6 points 9 hours ago
Thank you both for your service.
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]Hippiemamklp 5 points 8 hours ago
This made me tear up. I am sending huge cyber hugs to both of you! Sometimes hel
p comes in the most unlikely ways:-) Glad you are both getting help and I hope h
ealing.

permalink
[ ]ilokaners 6 points 7 hours ago
That's great. I wish you the best in healing. Sorry the VA doesn't help as much
as it should. I wish it would change but people like you and your friend are an
inspiration. Thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]squirtsmilk 5 points 7 hours ago
Thank you to our vets.. And to kind and compassionate people .... They make the
world safe for us all.
permalink
[ ]Noculum 7 points 6 hours ago
This warmed my heart. What a lovely story.
permalink
[ ]MonkeyNacho 7 points 6 hours ago
Thank you both for your service. I hope she, and the rest of us here on Reddit,
can help you find a road to inner peace.
permalink
[ ]Lots42 17 points 6 hours ago
You're on a woman-friendly sub-reddit that ended up on /r/all. That's why there'
s some negativity floating to the surface. /r/all is full of jackasses who can't
deal with the fact woman-friendly sub-reddits exist.
Or that women exist.
permalink
[ ]chocobodanger 8 points 7 hours ago
I have PTSD as well from rape. I have been diagnosed but the "system" here has f
ailed me by not getting me treatment needed (saw a counselor, put on depression/
anxiety meds, told I would have therapy and have not seen another counselor sinc
e?) You inadvertently helped me cope just by posting what she had told you.
permalink
[ ]txdahlia 10 points 6 hours ago
Unfortunately social media can bring out the dark side of those to impotent to s
how it in their daily lives because they fear repercussions, so they use an anon
ymous faceless version of themselves and pretend to be a bad ass. You are worthy
of happiness and peace after your great sacrifice. Don't let others put you dow
n.
permalink
[ ]dftexas165 5 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaay! The power of reddit. Glad you found her! I appreciate your service too b
uddy. I really hope you learn how to deal with you're issues brought on by your
experiences at war.
permalink
[ ]lotsofsippycups 4 points 9 hours ago
Aww I'm so glad you found her! :)
permalink
[ ]Ammoholic 3 points 8 hours ago
My dad is a doctor who treats ptsd at that va. Ask to see Dr goldstein. He will
help you for sure!
permalink
[ ]soitgoes182 4 points 8 hours ago
This is fucking beautiful!!
permalink
[ ]liesforliars 4 points 7 hours ago
I'm so happy you found her, man !! The internet can be wonderful..
permalink
[ ]dontdid 5 points 7 hours ago
This is so touching. Thank you both for your service and compassion. I hope you
find relief from what haunts you.
permalink
[ ]TheRainMonster 4 points 7 hours ago
Scotch tastes like peanut butter to you, too?

permalink
[ ]Soxbee 5 points 7 hours ago
It's amazing how one person can really make a difference! I'm so glad you found
her again!
My heart goes out to all of the veterans. I want to hug you all and offer any su
pport I can for what you've been through.
permalink
[ ]jschlik 3 points 6 hours ago*
Glad you found her. Thanks for the humbling and inspiring post.
I dont know if anyone has already mentioned this but Vital Warrior (vitalwarrior
.org) could be a great resource for those suffering from mental illness. I reall
y like what they are doing to help Vets.
permalink
[ ]_Rootshell_ 13 points 11 hours ago
Peanut butter scotch, meet bloody twat rag. A match made in heaven.
permalink
[ ]Upam 8 points 11 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection, if this gets enough upvotes and stays on the m
ain page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story. Best of luck to
the op
permalink
[ ]aazav 4 points 9 hours ago
Be good man, be good.
permalink
[ ]cannedbread1 3 points 2 hours ago
I am so glad that there was a lifeline out there for you at the perfect time. I
am so very sad for negative comments you are getting. Some people truly are arse
hats.
permalink
[ ]TabulaRasaNot [score hidden] 33 minutes ago
You folks with the negative comments to which OP refers, the ones pushing him ba
ck into himself, shame on you. You make me wish karma was real.
permalink
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 8 points 13 hours ago
Upboats
permalink
[ ]saralt 5 points 11 hours ago
And many more boats.
permalinkparent
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 3 points 7 hours ago
best part is they found each other :)
permalinkparent
[ ]theclassywino 4 points 7 hours ago
You're a hero, best of luck to you. Thank you for serving.
permalink
[ ]ArcheryHunter4Life 4 points 5 hours ago
I just wanted to say thank you for stepping up and posting this, it is so touchi
ng. It is incredibly brave of you and I'm sorry for all that you've been through
and for all of the rude people on this site. I will probably never experience w
hat you have been through. I hope you find yourself healed and happy in the futu
re. Most especially, thank you for your service.
permalink
[ ]Code_NY [score hidden] 1 hour ago
I'm sorry you've had to read through negative responses to this post. It's the d
ownside of open forum on the Internet. Just let them wash over you and concentra
te on the good ones, which are plentiful.
I hope things get better for you soon and I'm glad you've managed to reconnect w
ith her :)
permalink
[ ]CrackpotPatriot [score hidden] 34 minutes ago

Takes a lot of courage to reach out a thank you on the interwebz -especially red
dit. Well done. Thank yous are just too rare in this world.
permalink
[ ]NejKidd 6 points 12 hours ago
Can't wait to see the response on /r/bestof
permalink
[ ]Honkbag 10 points 11 hours ago
Not to be "that guy" in an otherwise supportive thread, but breathing/mindfulnes
s meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therapies for panic attack
s. That's science. that's why the counselors likely repeated it.
Im sorry you didnt feel heard, OP, and the psychological empathy With someone pe
rceived/identified as previously traumatized now wise and mentoring seems helpfu
l to you. Also, the act of smoking mimics controlled breathing which contrasts w
ith either the feeling of suffocation or hyperventilation in panic. The peer sim
ply stated things in a different way that resonated based on shared experience.
That also is important...oftentimes people in therapy perceive that therapists "
don't understand" what they've been through, and therefore arent able to help th
em because they havent been through "the same thing". Fact is, even two people i
n the same fight wont experience the situation exactly the same. But that's not
the point. The point is that In addition to wanting to feel understood, OP, you
needed to know you're not alone, and you needed to see someone actively coping a
nd recovering.
Do what works for you OP...but try not to throw the baby out with the bath water
. You may have valid reasons for anger at the VA (and what psychological role th
ey play in the trauma experience) but those techniques are indeed helpful with c
ontinued practice. Maybe it just needed to be explained differently or in more d
epth (other than "just breathe"...which may come across as dismissive). use all
the resources (however limited) you have at your disposal and let your therapst
know what makes you mad.
Good luck.
permalink
[ ]waitwuh 16 points 9 hours ago
breathing/mindfulness meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therap
ies for panic attacks
Perhaps the little trinket or "reminder" is more helpful to mindfulness than jus
t telling somebody to breath.
permalinkparent
[ ]notteoscura 9 points 9 hours ago
I think the clutch is that she could meet him on his level of breathing alone no
t being enough. Some people can breathe their way out of a panic attack. Others
can't. But yes, science does show breathing to be beneficial.
permalinkparent
[ ]3jt 10 points 6 hours ago
Mindful breathing is a grounding technique. However, therapists usually don't te
ll you that, and if they do they don't emphasize the "why". They just say to bre
athe. If you're hyperventilating, and someone says "breathe", that's fucking stu
pid. What is helpful is to focus on something other than the fact that you're ha
ving a panic attack. Ritual activities like cigarette smoking are helpful. So is
mindful breathing. It's the mindful part that helps.
permalinkparent
[ ]PurpleMentat [score hidden] 1 hour ago
So much this. Breathing without grounding is pointless. Grounding is the point o
f slow, deep, fully exhaled breathing.
permalinkparent
[ ]Launchfit 3 points 8 hours ago
You may not even see this comment, but I highly recommend you try using medical
marijuana to help treat your PTSD. I'm not here trying to persuade you to try a
drug you may not have any knowledge of, but in my experience, it has had a treme
ndous benefit to veterans with PTSD. My brother served in Iraq for 3 years and r
eturned home with severe PTSD. After countless weeks of taking drugs that had no

real benefit whatsoever, he tried medical marijuana. Ever since he indulged in


weed, his condition has improved substantially and his PTSD symptoms seem to les
sen every day. Again, weed isn't for everyone and I'm not sitting here telling y
ou it's a magical drug that will completely cure you. I'm simply suggesting some
thing that could be of great use to you and potentially benefit you. Best of luc
k, and thank you for serving our country.
permalink
[ ]persnipboobiees 3 points 8 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection.. if this gets enough upvotes + stays on the ma
in page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story: best of luck to
the op.
permalink
[ ]LaughingJackass 2 points 5 hours ago
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Wanted to say just this.
permalink
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ]LadyLavaLamp -4 points 10 hours ago
bloody_twat_rag and peanut_butter_scotch forever! I SHIP IT
permalink
[+] (13 children)
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 50 minutes ago
I am a vet as well and im going through similar issues but one of your comments
is a little out of line.
" She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good chance she had been raped
."
Thats B/S, sorry to be the negative one in the party.
Thats like saying "Every wife of a soldier that stayed near base cheated on thei
r husband while they were deployed because all women are scandalous."
Obviously not true,
Just because its the army doesn't make them rapist and baby killers.
Please understand im not harassing you. Thats the kind of blanket statement that
could set others off, like me and my response....
permalink
[ ]Commando_Girl [score hidden] 36 minutes ago
Ummmm. There's a big difference between "good chance" and "every".
You have issues if you really don't see the difference between the two.
permalinkparent
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 31 minutes ago
Right but my point is both statements are false.
permalinkparent
[ ] 9 hours ago
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ] 7 hours ago
[+] (7 children)
[+] (15 children)
[ ] 2 hours ago
[ ]heatheranne[M] [score hidden] 1 hour ago
Be nice or go away.
permalink
[+] (2 children)
[+]Lonsdaleite comment score below threshold (1 child)
[+] (1 child)
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (6 children)
[+] (10 children)
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[+]nickbernstein comment score below threshold (2 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+] (2 children)
[+] (1 child)

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this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2015
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Looking for a woman who helped me very much at the VA. Please read./r/all (self.
TwoXChromosomes)
submitted 14 hours ago * by peanut_butter_scotch
I am a male, and a combat veteran. I was doing well mentally for a while, under
the care of doctors and taking medication for PTSD and depression. One day, I we
nt to the VA to see my doctor and pick up meds. I was not doing well, a divorce
and financial problems had triggered my PTSD. And the VA was very crowded that d

ay. I was just trying to get meds at the pharmacy so I could go hone, but it was
so packed full of people and everyone was so rude and loud that I was having a
full on panic attack. I sat against a wall, shaking and in tears. Then, she stoo
d next to me.
She asked me when I got back. Fellow veterans always can tell when someone is fr
esh from the combat zone, and I know I appeared that way. I told her I had been
back for a few years but I was not doing well. And I just broke down. She listen
ed as I vented about the clusterfuck of rude people, and how I could not calm do
wn. I said, "I know, I am just supposed to fucking breathe, right?" That is what
the counselors at the VA always said. Just breathe, it will be okay.
"No." She said. "That is fucking pointless. Breathing will not help you right no
w. You are having a present reaction to a problem from the past. Right now, you
need to ground yourself and get out of the fear loop so you can calm down and be
gin to relax."
I asked, how do I do that? She told me about how everyone has something differen
t to ground them. Something comforting, something that triggers endorphins and h
appy memories. She said, she has a bottle of clove extract in her pocket, the sm
ell reminds her of her grandmother.
I began thinking of what I could use. She asked me if I wanted to go have a smok
e with her outside, and I did, so we went to the smoking gazebo. I asked her whe
re she learned these things that she was telling me about, no one ever understoo
d and gave me tips that helped.
Then she told me about reddit. And about a few subs that are primarily for women
, to discuss anything, and a lot of women talked about these coping skills to co
pe after rape and domestic violence. I felt sad suddenly, and thought of the rap
e problem in the military. She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good
chance she had been raped. As she spoke, I thought of how bad she had it. Not on
ly did she have PTSD like me and so many other men do, but she had PTSD from get
ting raped by the very men that were supposed to have her back.
She told me about the online community that helps her more than the stupid group
therapy we all had to go to. So I have lurked on reddit for a while. But I want
ed to reach out and thank her, but no idea what her username is. I know she freq
uents subs like this that are aimed at women, so I was hoping that maybe she wou
ld see this and would know how much it meant to me that she helped me. If anyone
here knows of a female veteran that frequents here, let me know.
Mysterious woman from the VA, thank you so much. You helped me find a path to he
aling. And I hope you find this.
Edit: I made this post then took a nap. I checked reddit on my phone and noticed
the very overwhelming response. Thank you, to everyone, for your support. And I
think I may have found her! My apologies for not respondingnto most of you, som
etimes I find even interacting with strangers online can be very anxiety inducin
g so I tend to steer clear, which is why I took so long to even make an account
on here. But I appreciate the kindness; I was not expecting to get this kind of
response. Thank you.
And final edit: well, found her. And, that is all. Being able to talk with her a
gain is great, and the positive response is nice, but the negative shit and the
insults being thrown and both her and I is very sad. I do not know why people mu
st hurt others when they are getting kind attention from others but I am told th
at is the way of Reddit. No, we will not be dating, she has a boyfriend which I
knew because he was there when I first met her. Tomorrow we are meeting for lunc
h, maybe she will post pics of it. I thought this would be fun and exciting but
with the negativity I am dreading even coming on reddit again. So, if she wants
to post pics tomorrow that will be up to her.
323 commentsshare
all 323 comments
sorted by: best
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1270 points 12 hours ago*
So, I passed this post by with an upvote and moved on. I was watching TV and it
clicked.
Was this at the VA in Loma Linda, CA?

And I appreciate the gold, guys, but please do not gild me anymore. I get the se
ntiment, but please, give it to someone else. I have no use for it.
permalink
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 518 points 11 hours ago
Yes! The VA in Loma Linda! Sorry I took so long to respond, I made this post, th
en took my meds and ended up passing out. Is this you?
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 141 points 11 hours ago
I hope so, this is one of the best things I've read in a while.
permalinkparent
[ ]joethomma 71 points 7 hours ago
It was all made possible by /u/bloody_twat_rag
permalinkparent
[ ]AcknowledgeTheLlama 17 points 6 hours ago
And her grandmothers cloves
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 117 points 11 hours ago
Oh. I am still new to this, I have only been lurking on reddit for a few weeks,
maybe. I did not know that.
permalink
[ ]tryingtomakeit9 74 points 11 hours ago
So...is it her?
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 210 points 10 hours ago
Yes it is her!
permalinkparent
[ ]bhamv 38 points 10 hours ago
Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]allygraceless 23 points 10 hours ago
This makes me so happy :)
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 22 points 8 hours ago
I love /u/bloody_twat_rag. She always has words of wisdom.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 10 points 7 hours ago
Is she well known on this site?
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 18 points 7 hours ago
I have no idea, but I find her name very memorable.
permalinkparent
[ ]A_Cylon_Raider 9 points 7 hours ago
Probably not, it's just a common thing people joke about here when really nice o
r helpful people have surprising or strange usernames.
permalinkparent
[ ]aazav 21 points 9 hours ago
Glad you found the woman who helped you.
Feel better and when you can, pass on the same help that she gave you.
Cheers.
permalinkparent
[ ]terriblecowgirl 12 points 10 hours ago
This is beautiful. I'm glad you found her!!! :)
permalinkparent
[ ]littlemissderpy 7 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]digitalyss 7 points 9 hours ago
Holy shit
permalinkparent

[ ]MagicalZeuscat 10 points 10 hours ago


They are apparently PMing right now, so... I think so?
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]your_ex_girlfriend- 40 points 11 hours ago
The MUA in me loves this cat eye and the TwoXer in me wants it to be her... even
if it is kind of weird to repost this album here...
permalink
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 40 points 10 hours ago
Tape. That is my secret here on the eye make up. Tape.
permalinkparent
[ ]Mojitana 6 points 8 hours ago
That's a really great tip. Thanks!
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 138 points 11 hours ago
Wow I look like shit in those pics.
permalink
[ ]LabGeeked 156 points 11 hours ago
Shaddap, you are lovely in every way.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 186 points 10 hours ago
Yes, she is as beautiful outside as she is on the inside.
permalinkparent
[ ]ilovegingermen 92 points 9 hours ago
peanut_butter_scotch and bloody_twat_rags - A Love Story
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 118 points 9 hours ago
Perhaps, but I am in a happy relationship with children. This could be the start
of a friendship, though.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 60 points 10 hours ago
Sorry, I honestly didn't think you looked bad and they were from the first post
with your face that I found. I was just trying to help u/peanut_butter_scotch, d
oesn't sound like he knows how to look at a users' profile.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 120 points 10 hours ago
Its OK, the pics are just not flattering because I posted them to MUA for CC. Me
and him are talking on fb messenger right now, I think he is a bit overwhelmed
and shocked by the response he got.
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 51 points 10 hours ago
Okay now that is just fantastic. Cheers to you for being the good person you nee
ded to be at the time you needed to be it. It sounds like you selflessly helped
a fellow human when it really mattered.
permalinkparent
[ ]HaloNinjee 12 points 9 hours ago
I <3 you.
I know of the typical subs like this but if you have some suggestions for more I
'm looking to show my wife around the friendlier side of reddit.
permalinkparent
[ ]itsme_eloise 16 points 9 hours ago
Hey there - what does your wife like? TwoX is good, /r/TrollXChromosomes is amaz
ing as is their brother sub /r/TrollYChromosome. I personally also like some sub
reddits aimed at improving my appearance that have a bit more of a feminine comm
unity like /r/MakeupAddiction, /r/SkincareAddiction and /r/HaircareScience. Depe
nding on what she likes, there's probably a subreddit for it!
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]cviwood 10 points 8 hours ago

I like the SFWPornNetwork. Also it is not porn, they are sub reddits with pretty
pretty pictures.
/r/AbandonedPorn has images like this old stairway.
Check the right columnfor related subreddits.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 5 points 9 hours ago
Twox, and if you look in the sidebar they have links for related subs. That is h
ow I navigate around.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 17 points 10 hours ago
So it is you? Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]marshmallowmermaid 7 points 9 hours ago
:) I'm glad you got to connect.
permalinkparent
[ ]KitsBeach 4 points 5 hours ago
I just want to say that I recognize your name from other lady-oriented subs and
I thought you always seemed like a swell gal. This post cements that!
permalinkparent
[ ]diestate_enter 3 points 8 hours ago
Ask him how he came up with his username.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 32 points 7 hours ago
Are you talking about me? This is the name my kid gave to my dog. I think it is
the name of a dog on a kid show. I'm not a creative person, and the name always
reminds me of my daughter and makes me smile.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]aazav 14 points 9 hours ago
Ahhh. You look fine.
Glad you took the time to help peanut_butter_scotch out.
You did good.
permalinkparent
[ ]6F6A9O9 16 points 9 hours ago
I think you're real pretty on the inside and on the outside. What we call "all t
he way pretty". You're all the way pretty.
permalinkparent
[ ]GreenlyRose 7 points 7 hours ago
Don't be silly, you look lovely in those pics! :-)
permalinkparent
[ ]Pandibabi 18 points 10 hours ago
Wow u r beautiful .. from another heterosexual female btw dont want to sound cre
epy ok
permalinkparent
[ ]screaming-trees 14 points 10 hours ago
wow i love the great attidfue in this subreddit 10/10
permalinkparent
[ ]darkshy 6 points 8 hours ago
I mean, it could be worse. You look fine. You could actually look like a bloody
twat rag though. That would be terrible.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
In my defense I am wearing a lot of make up in those well mostly eye make up, th
ey were posted to makeupaddiction
permalinkparent
[ ]PushitClaw -2 points 6 hours ago
Just breathe...
permalinkparent
[ ]houseofbacon 12 points 11 hours ago

We must know if its a match. The suspense is thicker than my backup jar of peanu
t butter.
permalinkparent
[ ]Nozphexezora 10 points 11 hours ago
WooOOOooo. Lucky you! I've had a similar situation once, but about drug addictio
n. She never came back.
permalinkparent
[ ]BloodGuts_AngelCake 10 points 9 hours ago
I don't know why but this brought a tear to my eye. It's nice to see there are k
ind people in this world.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ask_Me_What_Love_Is 6 points 6 hours ago
Hey pbs. I'm not her nor a veteran but I've had my fair share of woes and work i
n the loma Linda area (redlands) and if you ever need someone to catch a smoke o
r talk with, grab a beer or lunch with I am here. Just pm me and let me know.
permalinkparent
[ ]kaleybrennan 4 points 8 hours ago
hey idk if you'll see this but you should do a full tutorial of how you did that
makeup. and show what kind you use <3
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 13 points 7 hours ago
I think this was directed at the wrong person.
permalinkparent
[ ]Call_me_Kelly [score hidden] 1 hour ago
If there is a vet center near you I highly recommend checking them out.
http://www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
They specialize in ptsd and reintigration. When the VA became impossible for me
to go to because the noise, the people, and many bad experiences caused me to ha
ve panic attacks any time I entered I began going to the vet center for ptsd hel
p instead.
The atmosphere at my local vet center was awesome. The counselor I saw also help
ed me by creating scripts of what I needed to say to my pdoc and would message h
er on my behalf occasionally.
Also I began teleconference appointments with my va pdoc from a local outpatient
VA clinic. I didn't have the stress of going back into the VA and it allowed me
to tweak and adjust my meds when needed.
If you have nightmares, talk to a pdoc about prazosin. It helps reduce the whole
waking up flooded with adrenalin from nightmares thing. http://www.webmd.com/ato-z-guides/prazosin-for-ptsd
Also, the va prescribed me Xanax for anxiety for two years. If it's prescribed l
ong term for you talk to your doc about longterm side effects. I became full blo
wn agorophobic on it and it took away a year of my life. Imagine my anger when I
learner the va was supposed to have moved away from prescribing it long term du
e to terrible side effects years BEFORE they prescribed it to me.
/r/veterans is a pretty cool subreddit if you've never been.
I so glad someone was able to give you a stepping stone towards healing. I keep
pictures of my kids in my wallet to help ground me during panic attacks. I also
highly recommend changing the immediate surroundings. Leave the room or building
when one starts and it can sometimes help reduce the damage.
Kelly
permalinkparent
[ ]lawdudette -2 points 6 hours ago
/r/bestof!!!!!!
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 12 points 6 hours ago
I hope not I can not handle the harassment I'm not logging in again this is it I
am done
permalinkparent
[ ]PM_ME_TITS_MLADY 12 points 4 hours ago
Sigh, the internet is for everyone. But that's precisely the reason why sometime

s it's not for everyone.


Reddit is one of those places.
I wish you all the best, focus on the positive, always. It'll help at times, I p
romise.
permalinkparent
[ ]CochinBrahmaLover 2 points 3 hours ago
You can delete your account.
Go to preferences and there's an option to delete.
permalinkparent
[+] (1 child)
[ ]Notasurgeon 30 points 11 hours ago
Hey, I was working there today. What a coincidence.
permalinkparent
[ ]jonnyk354 -4 points 6 hours ago
Can you confirm that this event occurred?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Read the post. Did not say it happened today. It happened at the beginning of th
e month.
permalinkparent
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (4 children)
[ ]LoCHiF 22 points 10 hours ago
Gold is largely a donation to reddit. No-one really uses it.
permalinkparent
[ ]DarlinUntitled18 7 points 5 hours ago
I like to think of it somewhat symbolically, as in "Someone made a donation to R
eddit in your name!" sort of like, this comment, this person, or this content is
what I want to see on Reddit. People guild her because she is the kind of perso
n they want their user base to be, and they're proud to use the same website as
her.
permalinkparent
[ ]LoCHiF 3 points 2 hours ago
Agreed. It's a combination of a super emphatic upvote and the donation to reddit
as a sort of "yay reddit!" gesture.
permalinkparent
[ ]DiffidentDissident 9 points 10 hours ago
Hey, thanks for looking out for OP. I think that makes you pretty great.
permalinkparent
[ ]Drachte 17 points 11 hours ago
Op pls
permalinkparent
[ ]rightioushippie 7 points 8 hours ago
so what were the subreddits that helped you find coping mechanisms?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 11 points 8 hours ago
Twox, actually. I had made a post a while ago about being trigger by a video I s
aw of animal abuse that triggered flashbacks from sexual abuse in my childhood a
nd a lot of people gave me grounding tips.
permalinkparent
[ ]King_Penguin_IV [score hidden] 49 minutes ago
What grounding tips helped you the most?
permalinkparent
[ ]wibblywobblychilango 5 points 10 hours ago
Holy shit, things like this are why I love reddit so much! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]monkeiboi 8 points 10 hours ago
ignore her! Everyone gild her!
permalinkparent
[ ]MultiversEngineer 3 points 2 hours ago
Air Force vet here. I have PTSD with panic disorder.

This post is amazing to me. I can appreciate anyone who helps their fellow vets.
I am still in the process of gaining control over my own panic problems. Any ad
vice would be greatly appreciated.
PS: I am currently in school and was also diagnosed with ADD recently. The last
two years have just been a wreck.
permalinkparent
[ ]Defeat 3 points 4 hours ago
Hey there. If it makes you feel better: reddit runs very few ads. Criminally few
. This site was hemorrhaging money, and it probably still is. A few years ago (h
onestly I can't remember reddit time just sort of blurs together for me) reddit
was plagued by serve issues. Nothing would work or load. Then some genius invent
ed reddit gold. Or maybe it was mold first. Either way reddit was saved. Gold is
a donation more to the site we all mooch off of, and is definitely not a reward
for you being amazing. Also panic attacks fucking suck so thank you for helping
that guy out .
permalinkparent
[ ]MrFeles [score hidden] 58 minutes ago
Goddamnit. Read story, imagine some sort of fancy saint. Man calls out to the cr
owd, will she reveal herself?
Blood twat rag emerges.
What a strange mixture of emotions.
Also slightly relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2CWsqGFgkA
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey -2 points 7 hours ago
Weird, I guess you live in Riverside? What are the odds you would live in the sa
me county as myself.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Well, seeing that the Loma Linda VA is used by both Riverside and San Bernardino
Counties, and considering how vast both of those counties are, plus people from
other counties who use that VA because they do not want to go to the others in
LA Jolla or Long Beach due to distance or whatever reasons, it is not so unlikel
y.
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey 4 points 6 hours ago
Well, even though I'm technically a veteran now, I've never had a reason to visi
t the VA and fortunately do not have any problems with PTSD or anything of that
nature. (Depression, but nothing related to my time in).
Plus, I just moved here, so I thought that was interesting.
Either way, best of luck to you. I'm sorry your time in had some truly shitty mo
ments, for lack of a better phrase. I'm sure you're aware, but most of us are ag
ainst that shit. At least, I hope.
permalinkparent
[+]apologies-in-advance comment score below threshold (0 children)
[ ]Walkingonadream7 -1 points 3 hours ago
You can use it to buy some wax for your cross
permalinkparent
[+] (6 children)
[ ]RediscoveredIllusion 53 points 12 hours ago
I have PTSD as well, from abuse situations like so many others here. I am so gla
d someone came along to help you cope. I had forgotten about grounding myself th
is way and reading your post for her... Well, whomever she is, if she finds this
, thank you from me as well.
permalink
[ ]Ivyleaguehandjob 185 points 13 hours ago
My father is a Korean War vet. We sat watching TV and the (new) Wounded Warrior
Project donation commercial comes on and my dad gets very angry. These commercia
ls are on par if not emotionally worse than the starving children and beaten dog
commercials.
We have done something very wrong to our veterans. There should be no need for c

harities like this. NO charities targeting veterans in need of food, clothing, s


helter, education, job training and more.
WWP Purpose:
To raise awareness and enlist the public's aid for the needs of injured service
members.
My father says "NO, that's our governments job, our employer!"
permalink
[ ]athingz 39 points 11 hours ago*
job training and more.
As an Iraq veteran that can't even seem to get a job interview at Walmart, I'm s
tarting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm not sure I have PTSD from my service, but about 8 years later when I finally
went in to a sliding scale clinic for depression symptoms and inability to conc
entrate/study (failing school), they called it "survivor's guilt". I wish it was
my truck that got hit. I volunteered for every convoy after that. Never heard o
f survivor's guilt until I was out for 8 years.
Never used the VA before. Not even sure where to start or where they're located.
I just learned a couple months ago you don't have to be a 20 year vet or have a
disability % to qualify, apparently. All third-hand knowledge. I thought you co
uld only use them for stuff that happened while in, and there's no proof of anyt
hing health related on military record. I've seen my folder right before ETS.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 39 points 10 hours ago
You can use the VA for medical care, even if you do not have a disability claim.
You just need to have served 180 days active service. Go to a local VA with you
r 214 and fill out some paperwork, you can usually be seen right away.
permalinkparent
[ ]panthera213 8 points 9 hours ago
Does your VA offer the chance to look at having service animals? My boyfriend is
in the CF and some of the guys here have gotten service animals to help them wi
th their PTSD. I know that it's been a comfort to them, or at least maybe anothe
r avenue to explore to help you out. Hope you are feeling better.
permalinkparent
[ ]IT_is_not_all_I_am 10 points 8 hours ago
Yeah, I know a guy that breeds and trains dogs for Rebuilding Warriors. I know h
e's trained them for folks with PTSD, but no idea how that organization selects
recipients. Might be worth looking into.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
Or, find someone that gets rescue dogs and trains them instead of dogs that were
bred just for.
permalinkparent
[ ]asianfromamerica 1 point 6 hours ago
SO ARE YOU THE WOMAN THAT HELPED THIS MAN? You are amazing I hope you realize th
at.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1 point 5 hours ago
No. I'm not. I'm average at best.
permalinkparent
[ ]darkangl187 7 points 8 hours ago
the VA is for those who served and discharged honorably, service connection or n
ot. please check them out it sounds like you need to consider service connection
for your survivors guilt.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 7 points 8 hours ago
Not just an honorable discharge. As long as you did not receive a dishonorable.
General, GUH, etc are accepted.
permalinkparent
[ ]Yeynna 4 points 6 hours ago
I'm starting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.

I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's the same for the unemployed, disable
d, and homeless who aren't veterans in the US (or anywhere else, I'm not America
n), I don't know what to say about everything else you faced because I can't ima
gine what living through it is like, but I want to say that no matter how much i
t seems like if you were suffering in the "right" way people would care more it'
s not true, it seems that way for everyone, but we're not alone in the facing th
is, and it's not your fault people are dismissing and scornful.
permalinkparent
[ ]Lots42 3 points 5 hours ago
www.211.org has lots of resourves for mental, physical and related help. Easy to
find lots and lots of stuff.
permalinkparent
[ ]preflop 3 points 2 hours ago
Hours late, but if you're having trouble getting things arranged, put in a call
to your local congressional office. You'll probably be assigned to a constituent
casework person and they'll put you in touch with who you need to talk to and w
here you need to go.
permalinkparent
[ ]mmm_toasty 19 points 12 hours ago
Hopefully at some point in the future the laws and regulations regarding providi
ng aid of all kinds to veterans in need will be fixed. For now though, as ways o
f acquiring the funding that the government fails to provide, I think that they
serve an important purpose.
permalinkparent
[ ]pmmesomeavocado 16 points 12 hours ago
The problem is that to do that, you need to raise taxes. And if you do that, you
're a freedom hating commie.
permalinkparent
[ ]bouncer4819 19 points 11 hours ago
Or we could just cut from our extremely overfunded defense budget, and reallocat
e those funds to actually help our vets
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[ ]vuhleeitee 0 points 4 hours ago
Yes. We should fire a whole bunch of people that are a few years away from retir
ement anyway. That makes complete sense.
You do realize that cutting the defense budget just means that it will create mo
re veterans who are at a loss for a stable source of income.
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[ ]tiehunter 3 points 4 hours ago
Or... Instead of buying jets that the military neither needs nor wants, we could
spend that money on veterans.
permalinkparent
[ ]athennna 8 points 11 hours ago
Or you need to better budget the tax revenue you already have.
permalinkparent
[ ]QuelqueChoseRose 0 points 2 hours ago
My understanding is that the V.A.'s fairly well-funded, nowadays. Relative to th
e rest of the federal government, at least. (Its funding's increased in years wh
en even Defense's was cut.) The problem's entirely administrative. It's a bureau
cratic nightmare, and no one's been able to solve it.
I think if a presidential candidate ran on a platform of simply making the feder
al government more efficient, they'd win easily. All the bickering about taxes a
nd spending, and we're still incredibly bad at doing what we want with the money
we tax and spend.
permalinkparent
[ ]hyene 9 points 11 hours ago
no, we don't need to raise taxes. we need to move from mathematically-illogical
capitalism to a scientifically-managed resource-based economy.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ruste 1 point 10 hours ago

Honestly curious, why should the government ever provide a service that is alrea
dy provided for by charities. Why force everyone to pay for something that peopl
e already give willingly to assuming that they provide enough. (I know they don'
t but according to OP there should be NO need for these charities as if it shoul
d be taken care of by the government regardless.)
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[ ]ggqq 7 points 10 hours ago
because there is a fine line we need to skate as a society between socialism and
capitalism to keep the employable people happy. If the government paid for ever
ything, we'd have incredibly high tax. This discourages people from working too
hard with tax brackets so you end up with nobody earning that much and an even h
igher tax because less people earn lots. What we need to do is convince rich peo
ple to be charitable (or rather, just tell rich people to give their money away
for free. I just solved the economic crisis. boom. you're welcome)
permalinkparent
[ ]Otto_Lidenbrock 6 points 9 hours ago
Except that tax brackets have never stopped anyone from making more money. Compl
ain about it, sure... But they still take the raise. It's a patently false argum
ent.
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[ ]undsowbe 10 points 8 hours ago
Your father as a Korean War Veteran would not qualify for the WWP program. Only
post 9/11 Vets qualify. Even at the VA, there are programs that my Vietnam-era h
usband does not qualify for (acupuncture being the most recent). The docs there
want the prestige and kudos that comes from treating recent Vets. It's the same
with the WWP. They know they can rake in the bucks if they play on public sentim
ent for post 9/11 Vets.
Never before have Veterans been excluded from programs based on the era they ser
ved in, until now.
TLDR: Fuck the WWP
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[ ]DrTypo 8 points 7 hours ago
WWP is also something that is wrong. Google wounded warrior project scam, and lo
ok at how much of the money that they collect actually goes to vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 160 points 14 hours ago
That is very sweet and I hope she sees this too! Best of luck on your journey an
d I am so sorry that as a nation we do so little for you and the other veterans.
Our system (what parts are not a clusterfuck) is frustrating at best and I am g
lad you find the courage every day to get up and navigate the system and your sy
mptoms, rather than letting the circumstances win. Hope she sees this! :)
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[ ]mantiskiller 18 points 13 hours ago
I have very little knowledge of what the opportunities available for veterans bu
t always hear that it is inadequate. What improvements do you think the governme
nt could make?
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 29 points 12 hours ago
Well, (I'm assuming you are in the US) the system is just not streamlined and po
orly funded. You go for mental health help, there is no extra or quick he for pe
ople coming in while in crisis. Most get the same wait time as others. You go, y
ou sign up, and then you wait. Some people 6-8 weeks to be seen for someone who
sees you for 10 minutes to determine the meds you need and whether or not therap
y will help. Never mind med changes, trying to get refills. And you can forget h
ousing if you are homeless. Most VA houses/shelters are 30-50 beds and have wait
ing lists a mile long. We have homeless populations of mentally ill veterans who
, with the right meds and a few months of meals and a roof over their head would
be able to work some and get back on their feet. It's just a very broken, poorl
y funded, slow moving system and we as a country should be ashamed of ourselves.
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[ ]Evil__Toaster -3 points 12 hours ago


And you can forget housing if you are homeless.
That's why there is a pension program to give money to those that need it.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 16 points 12 hours ago
Yeah, but in some cases the money isn't enough or the application process is too
long and they are homeless before they get the money. Most homeless vets get mo
ney, its just not enough to live on and they aren't able to hold a job because t
hey can't get enough services to help their PTSD and resulting addictions. I was
a case worker for a veterans program for a year. I only lasted a year. It was t
he worst. The suicide rates, filling out paper work and seeing them be desperate
and only being able to say, 'well, I submitted it. we just have to wait.', not
having housing for them so at 5pm after hours of calling they were back out to w
ander another night on the streets. Ugh, I felt awful.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 21 points 12 hours ago
The pension program is only for vets with wartime service. Peacetime vets don't
have this fallback. Additionally, pension is only for those determined disabled.
There are some newer programs to combat homelessness for vets, but they depend
on location.
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[ ]Evil__Toaster 2 points 11 hours ago*
I'm just saying there is something, many people make it sound like there is no e
ffort at all. Homeless cases are a high priority. You sound like a VSR or VSO?
oh, ok, downvote me for thinking somebody sounds incredibly knowledgeable.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 12 points 11 hours ago
No. I'm a Legal Aid attorney who specializes in vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster 5 points 11 hours ago
Awesome. Nice to meet you.
permalinkparent
[ ]Sulde 37 points 12 hours ago
upvote for visibility.
and dude: when you are going through hell, keep on going. Never never never give
up.
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[ ]endergrrl 36 points 12 hours ago
Female army vet here, though not the one you're looking for. Which VAMC were you
at? I'm glad someone helped you through that and that you found a safe and help
ful space here.
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[ ]crouchtouchpause 32 points 12 hours ago
This is a beautiful post. All I can offer is that it does get better, and that a
nyone capable of writing such an emotionally honest post has already crossed mor
e bridges that most manage in a lifetime.
I hope she reads what you've written, but even if she doesn't you should know th
at many people have understood the sentiment and been moved by it.
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[ ]mablesyrup 9 points 11 hours ago
Posts like this prove why today is the best monday of the year!
permalinkparent
[ ]Tonyman457 12 points 9 hours ago
This post has everything. The tragedy. The cry for help. The rocky montage at th
e VA where everything gets slightly better, but he looses his mentor somewhere.
Then, BAM! they rekindle!
The cherry on top is that her fuckin reddit ID is Bloody Twat Rag. Hits you with
the feels, then brings you back with some good ol' fashioned dark humor.
Most novels aren't this good.
permalinkparent

[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago


I read this in Stefon's voice :)
permalinkparent
[ ]Edrondol 33 points 6 hours ago
Marine vet here. No PTSD unless you count flashbacks of sitting in a storeroom f
or hours. But I wanted to pop in and say don't sweat the haters. Most of them ar
e just stupid kids trying to be edgy. The rest are assholes because they are ano
nymous and it's how they get their jollies. Just like the military, reddit has g
ood people and reddit has dicks. Unlike the military, you can completely ignore
the dicks here.
Don't know what branch you were in (I didn't read through everything), but I'm g
iving you a big Semper Fi anyway. Stay strong, brother.
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[ ]spookyxskepticism 16 points 11 hours ago
Aaaaand I'm in tears. I'm so glad she was able to help you. Here's an upvote. Ho
pefully with enough of these she'll take notice and see your post! I'm so glad t
hat your experience has helped you on to the path of healing. Thank you so much
for your service <3
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[ ]scarletdrive 3 points 9 hours ago
I needed a good cry today. Bless this post.
permalinkparent
[ ]faeriechyld 16 points 12 hours ago
I hope she gets your message of thanks even if she wants to remain anonymous. An
d I really really hope you start feeling better too. I wish I could do more than
offer internet hugs!
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[ ]schweppesmeoffmyfeet 32 points 13 hours ago
This is why I love Reddit.
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[ ]mightyflynn 14 points 12 hours ago
This is beautiful. I hope you are finding your ground.
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[ ]anniebme 13 points 11 hours ago
Hi friend! I find having a smooth stone in my pocket helps. The stone reminds me
of chilling next to a river. I hope you find your mini-reminder, too!
I have found EMDR therapy rough to go through but helpful to process thoughts an
d memories. It may help you, too. It won't be easy but neither is what you are c
urrently dealing with.
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[ ]BaronessUnderboob 11 points 8 hours ago
I use a piece of hematite sometimes, the weight feels nice in my hands. Though I
don't subscribe to that healing crystals stuff, I just like shiny rocks.
permalinkparent
[ ]anniebme 8 points 8 hours ago
Sounds like a great reminder to just be! Heavy enough to remind, light enough to
carry! Hematite just looks cool, too.
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[ ]DancingHeel 12 points 9 hours ago
I'm not her, but reading this has made me smile. I get down about working at VA
a lot - the bureaucracy and paperwork (and the sexual harassment from older Vets
) are really pushing me out the door. But I like the people I work with, and I k
now they really care about the wellbeing of Veterans. This is a great example of
that. Whether she was an employee or just a fellow Vet receiving services, ther
e are definitely good people in that crazy system.
To anyone else out there struggling with PTSD, other mental health concerns, or
service-related health issues - there is hope. Even when the VA gets horrible pr
ess, even when claims are backlogged - there are good people who want to help an
d are well-equipped to do so. If you haven't sought any help at the VA but you m
ight qualify for services, it's worth a shot. Don't give up. Every VA is, unfort

unately, very different in terms of quality. Shop around if you need to. It real
ly sucks that that's the way it is, because Veterans deserve better care. Govern
ment funding of Veteran services is extremely poor. But I have seen the efforts
of good people help change the system, slowly, from the inside.
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[ ]paulb02 9 points 10 hours ago
This is a great story and I am happy you were able to find one of the good peopl
e at the VA. There is a lot of VA bashing and I understand it is not the best si
tuation for veterans, but some people at the VA do truly care about the Veterans
and their treatment and benefits. While my wife was not a vet herself, she work
s in the Comp and Pension section and deals primarily with the veterans via the
claims process. The Veterans rarely know the person behind the claim but she doe
s go that extra step whenever possible to ensure the claims are not jacked up.
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[ ]TurdFergusonTheThird 10 points 9 hours ago
This post motivated me to join reddit. Long time listener first time poster here
.. Thanks for the energy.
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[ ]TheRealFJ 15 points 6 hours ago
Dude please don't let the ass holes turn you away from Reddit. I get shit all th
e time for the smallest shit here but you need to know that those people are onl
y here to be mean...like the comments on YouTube.
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[ ]Sector_805 23 points 11 hours ago
As a female who has served, I love this and hope she reads this.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
Thank you for your service, ma'am
permalinkparent
[ ]Bm1324 13 points 12 hours ago
Wow, I hope you are able to find her. As someone with PTSD, I find that even a l
ot of well-meaning people don't know what to say or do when I'm triggered or in
a difficult place. They do their best to use methods that they've seen or say th
ings like "It'll be alright," which aren't much help at the moment and too dista
nt for me to connect to. I like that she was real and helped to put you back int
o reality by grounding you in the current place and time. I'll have to remember
this as well :)
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[ ]izzgo 24 points 13 hours ago
Upvoted so maybe she has a better chance to see this.
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[ ]supersayanftw 5 points 12 hours ago
Please update, best of luck to you
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[ ]devoted2mercury 7 points 12 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she sees this; Reddit is awesome.
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[ ]Clayra 7 points 11 hours ago
I know first hand how trying it can be getting treatment from the VA. I sometime
s find that it's easier to go to one of the help desks and ask them to walk you
to wherever you want to go. It won't get you put to the front of the line, but I
've found that things tend to move more smoothly.
Like so much of government work it's just a big good-ole-boys club, and there's
a good chance that anyone working there has to at the very least be friendly wit
h everyone else if they have any hopes of staying.
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[ ]BareKnuckleKitty 7 points 11 hours ago
This is so beautiful. Thank you for your service. I really hope she sees this!
permalink
[ ]petit_cochon 6 points 11 hours ago

Hey buddy, so glad this subreddit has helped you, and I hope it continues to hel
p you as you recover and heal.
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[ ]nomoredolls 6 points 11 hours ago
OP, thank you for your service and sacrifice. Thanks also to the VA mystery woma
n for her service and sacrifice.
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[ ]nerak1138 6 points 11 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she finds this, but even if she doesn't, she surely knows that s
he made a difference that day. Pay it forward, man. And keep your chin up. Lots
of love to you and all veterans.
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[ ]GimmeMuchosMangos 8 points 11 hours ago
Good luck to you.
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[ ]saraleecupcake 7 points 11 hours ago
Best of luck
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[ ]theBIGnaudd 7 points 10 hours ago
Keep your head up brother! Look for a support group. The VA has resources and ca
n help find you a group to join. Stay strong! There are so many people out there
who care and want to help you out with your experiences.
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[ ]rogue780 6 points 10 hours ago
/r/veterans has some good resources as well
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[ ]SuperChubbs 7 points 8 hours ago
This is really special. I served on a submarine for 4 years getting out in 2012
and I had a hard time readjusting. PTSD and depression combined with feeling lik
e I never related to many other veterans because I served in a different environ
ment then most.
I know it isn't easy to help someone going through PTSD or a panic attack but i'
ve had a few people really come through for me when I needed it and I don't know
where i'd be if they hadn't. Now my life is so much brighter. :) Thank you so m
uch for stepping up and helping that guy, people like you are wonderful.
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[ ]somegaychick 2 points 4 hours ago
I cant even begin to imagine what its like. Thank you for your service. <3
permalinkparent
[ ]SuperChubbs 1 point 3 hours ago
Thank you so much, it used to make me uncomfortable hearing that but it's kinda
nice now that i'm doing so much better :) You made my night.
permalinkparent
[ ]kawaii-throwaway 6 points 8 hours ago
This entire post v was beautiful beginning to end.
My ptsd is considered in remission but I still wear patchouli pull to remind me
of my grandmother. I also have a lyric from one of my favorite songs on my wrist
. Seeing the message (be patient) itself keeps me grounded but being reminded of
the song takes me back to awe inspiring memories that snap me right out of an e
pisode.
It's a magical feeling when you finally find coping mechanisms that actually hel
p. Every moment before that feels like a constant waking nightmare, a landmine o
f triggers, but once you find what works, it's as if a weight is lifted from you
.
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[ ]Milagro_chef 21 points 13 hours ago
I have PTSD. Her definition is exact correct. Thank you.
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[ ]I_require_answers 10 points 10 hours ago
It's disappointing, and sadly unsurprising, that none of the professionals you w

orked with at the VA taught you some grounding skills, I mean that's really trau
ma therapy 101. It makes me sad our vets don't get better treatment than that. A
nyway, glad you guys found each other, and thanks for your service.
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[ ]baconchief 5 points 10 hours ago
Thank you for your service Sir! I hope you regain control of your life and can l
ive on happily! Much respect.
permalink
[ ]nocomfychairs 6 points 9 hours ago
Thank you both for your service.
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[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
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[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
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[ ]Hippiemamklp 5 points 8 hours ago
This made me tear up. I am sending huge cyber hugs to both of you! Sometimes hel
p comes in the most unlikely ways:-) Glad you are both getting help and I hope h
ealing.
permalink
[ ]ilokaners 6 points 7 hours ago
That's great. I wish you the best in healing. Sorry the VA doesn't help as much
as it should. I wish it would change but people like you and your friend are an
inspiration. Thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]squirtsmilk 5 points 7 hours ago
Thank you to our vets.. And to kind and compassionate people .... They make the
world safe for us all.
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[ ]Noculum 7 points 6 hours ago
This warmed my heart. What a lovely story.
permalink
[ ]MonkeyNacho 7 points 6 hours ago
Thank you both for your service. I hope she, and the rest of us here on Reddit,
can help you find a road to inner peace.
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[ ]Lots42 17 points 6 hours ago
You're on a woman-friendly sub-reddit that ended up on /r/all. That's why there'
s some negativity floating to the surface. /r/all is full of jackasses who can't
deal with the fact woman-friendly sub-reddits exist.
Or that women exist.
permalink
[ ]chocobodanger 8 points 7 hours ago
I have PTSD as well from rape. I have been diagnosed but the "system" here has f
ailed me by not getting me treatment needed (saw a counselor, put on depression/
anxiety meds, told I would have therapy and have not seen another counselor sinc
e?) You inadvertently helped me cope just by posting what she had told you.
permalink
[ ]txdahlia 10 points 6 hours ago
Unfortunately social media can bring out the dark side of those to impotent to s
how it in their daily lives because they fear repercussions, so they use an anon
ymous faceless version of themselves and pretend to be a bad ass. You are worthy

of happiness and peace after your great sacrifice. Don't let others put you dow
n.
permalink
[ ]dftexas165 5 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaay! The power of reddit. Glad you found her! I appreciate your service too b
uddy. I really hope you learn how to deal with you're issues brought on by your
experiences at war.
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[ ]lotsofsippycups 4 points 9 hours ago
Aww I'm so glad you found her! :)
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[ ]Ammoholic 3 points 8 hours ago
My dad is a doctor who treats ptsd at that va. Ask to see Dr goldstein. He will
help you for sure!
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[ ]soitgoes182 4 points 8 hours ago
This is fucking beautiful!!
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[ ]liesforliars 4 points 7 hours ago
I'm so happy you found her, man !! The internet can be wonderful..
permalink
[ ]dontdid 5 points 7 hours ago
This is so touching. Thank you both for your service and compassion. I hope you
find relief from what haunts you.
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[ ]TheRainMonster 4 points 7 hours ago
Scotch tastes like peanut butter to you, too?
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[ ]Soxbee 5 points 7 hours ago
It's amazing how one person can really make a difference! I'm so glad you found
her again!
My heart goes out to all of the veterans. I want to hug you all and offer any su
pport I can for what you've been through.
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[ ]jschlik 3 points 6 hours ago*
Glad you found her. Thanks for the humbling and inspiring post.
I dont know if anyone has already mentioned this but Vital Warrior (vitalwarrior
.org) could be a great resource for those suffering from mental illness. I reall
y like what they are doing to help Vets.
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[ ]_Rootshell_ 13 points 11 hours ago
Peanut butter scotch, meet bloody twat rag. A match made in heaven.
permalink
[ ]Upam 8 points 11 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection, if this gets enough upvotes and stays on the m
ain page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story. Best of luck to
the op
permalink
[ ]aazav 4 points 9 hours ago
Be good man, be good.
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[ ]cannedbread1 3 points 2 hours ago
I am so glad that there was a lifeline out there for you at the perfect time. I
am so very sad for negative comments you are getting. Some people truly are arse
hats.
permalink
[ ]TabulaRasaNot [score hidden] 33 minutes ago
You folks with the negative comments to which OP refers, the ones pushing him ba
ck into himself, shame on you. You make me wish karma was real.
permalink

[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 8 points 13 hours ago


Upboats
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[ ]saralt 5 points 11 hours ago
And many more boats.
permalinkparent
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 3 points 7 hours ago
best part is they found each other :)
permalinkparent
[ ]theclassywino 4 points 7 hours ago
You're a hero, best of luck to you. Thank you for serving.
permalink
[ ]ArcheryHunter4Life 4 points 5 hours ago
I just wanted to say thank you for stepping up and posting this, it is so touchi
ng. It is incredibly brave of you and I'm sorry for all that you've been through
and for all of the rude people on this site. I will probably never experience w
hat you have been through. I hope you find yourself healed and happy in the futu
re. Most especially, thank you for your service.
permalink
[ ]Code_NY [score hidden] 1 hour ago
I'm sorry you've had to read through negative responses to this post. It's the d
ownside of open forum on the Internet. Just let them wash over you and concentra
te on the good ones, which are plentiful.
I hope things get better for you soon and I'm glad you've managed to reconnect w
ith her :)
permalink
[ ]CrackpotPatriot [score hidden] 34 minutes ago
Takes a lot of courage to reach out a thank you on the interwebz -especially red
dit. Well done. Thank yous are just too rare in this world.
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[ ]NejKidd 6 points 12 hours ago
Can't wait to see the response on /r/bestof
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[ ]Honkbag 10 points 11 hours ago
Not to be "that guy" in an otherwise supportive thread, but breathing/mindfulnes
s meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therapies for panic attack
s. That's science. that's why the counselors likely repeated it.
Im sorry you didnt feel heard, OP, and the psychological empathy With someone pe
rceived/identified as previously traumatized now wise and mentoring seems helpfu
l to you. Also, the act of smoking mimics controlled breathing which contrasts w
ith either the feeling of suffocation or hyperventilation in panic. The peer sim
ply stated things in a different way that resonated based on shared experience.
That also is important...oftentimes people in therapy perceive that therapists "
don't understand" what they've been through, and therefore arent able to help th
em because they havent been through "the same thing". Fact is, even two people i
n the same fight wont experience the situation exactly the same. But that's not
the point. The point is that In addition to wanting to feel understood, OP, you
needed to know you're not alone, and you needed to see someone actively coping a
nd recovering.
Do what works for you OP...but try not to throw the baby out with the bath water
. You may have valid reasons for anger at the VA (and what psychological role th
ey play in the trauma experience) but those techniques are indeed helpful with c
ontinued practice. Maybe it just needed to be explained differently or in more d
epth (other than "just breathe"...which may come across as dismissive). use all
the resources (however limited) you have at your disposal and let your therapst
know what makes you mad.
Good luck.
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[ ]waitwuh 16 points 9 hours ago
breathing/mindfulness meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therap

ies for panic attacks


Perhaps the little trinket or "reminder" is more helpful to mindfulness than jus
t telling somebody to breath.
permalinkparent
[ ]notteoscura 9 points 9 hours ago
I think the clutch is that she could meet him on his level of breathing alone no
t being enough. Some people can breathe their way out of a panic attack. Others
can't. But yes, science does show breathing to be beneficial.
permalinkparent
[ ]3jt 10 points 6 hours ago
Mindful breathing is a grounding technique. However, therapists usually don't te
ll you that, and if they do they don't emphasize the "why". They just say to bre
athe. If you're hyperventilating, and someone says "breathe", that's fucking stu
pid. What is helpful is to focus on something other than the fact that you're ha
ving a panic attack. Ritual activities like cigarette smoking are helpful. So is
mindful breathing. It's the mindful part that helps.
permalinkparent
[ ]PurpleMentat [score hidden] 1 hour ago
So much this. Breathing without grounding is pointless. Grounding is the point o
f slow, deep, fully exhaled breathing.
permalinkparent
[ ]Launchfit 3 points 8 hours ago
You may not even see this comment, but I highly recommend you try using medical
marijuana to help treat your PTSD. I'm not here trying to persuade you to try a
drug you may not have any knowledge of, but in my experience, it has had a treme
ndous benefit to veterans with PTSD. My brother served in Iraq for 3 years and r
eturned home with severe PTSD. After countless weeks of taking drugs that had no
real benefit whatsoever, he tried medical marijuana. Ever since he indulged in
weed, his condition has improved substantially and his PTSD symptoms seem to les
sen every day. Again, weed isn't for everyone and I'm not sitting here telling y
ou it's a magical drug that will completely cure you. I'm simply suggesting some
thing that could be of great use to you and potentially benefit you. Best of luc
k, and thank you for serving our country.
permalink
[ ]persnipboobiees 3 points 8 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection.. if this gets enough upvotes + stays on the ma
in page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story: best of luck to
the op.
permalink
[ ]LaughingJackass 2 points 5 hours ago
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Wanted to say just this.
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[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ]LadyLavaLamp -4 points 10 hours ago
bloody_twat_rag and peanut_butter_scotch forever! I SHIP IT
permalink
[+] (13 children)
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 50 minutes ago
I am a vet as well and im going through similar issues but one of your comments
is a little out of line.
" She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good chance she had been raped
."
Thats B/S, sorry to be the negative one in the party.
Thats like saying "Every wife of a soldier that stayed near base cheated on thei
r husband while they were deployed because all women are scandalous."
Obviously not true,
Just because its the army doesn't make them rapist and baby killers.
Please understand im not harassing you. Thats the kind of blanket statement that
could set others off, like me and my response....

permalink
[ ]Commando_Girl [score hidden] 36 minutes ago
Ummmm. There's a big difference between "good chance" and "every".
You have issues if you really don't see the difference between the two.
permalinkparent
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 31 minutes ago
Right but my point is both statements are false.
permalinkparent
[ ] 9 hours ago
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ] 7 hours ago
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[ ] 2 hours ago
[ ]heatheranne[M] [score hidden] 1 hour ago
Be nice or go away.
permalink
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Looking for a woman who helped me very much at the VA. Please read./r/all (self.
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submitted 14 hours ago * by peanut_butter_scotch
I am a male, and a combat veteran. I was doing well mentally for a while, under
the care of doctors and taking medication for PTSD and depression. One day, I we
nt to the VA to see my doctor and pick up meds. I was not doing well, a divorce
and financial problems had triggered my PTSD. And the VA was very crowded that d
ay. I was just trying to get meds at the pharmacy so I could go hone, but it was
so packed full of people and everyone was so rude and loud that I was having a
full on panic attack. I sat against a wall, shaking and in tears. Then, she stoo
d next to me.
She asked me when I got back. Fellow veterans always can tell when someone is fr
esh from the combat zone, and I know I appeared that way. I told her I had been
back for a few years but I was not doing well. And I just broke down. She listen
ed as I vented about the clusterfuck of rude people, and how I could not calm do
wn. I said, "I know, I am just supposed to fucking breathe, right?" That is what
the counselors at the VA always said. Just breathe, it will be okay.
"No." She said. "That is fucking pointless. Breathing will not help you right no
w. You are having a present reaction to a problem from the past. Right now, you
need to ground yourself and get out of the fear loop so you can calm down and be
gin to relax."
I asked, how do I do that? She told me about how everyone has something differen
t to ground them. Something comforting, something that triggers endorphins and h
appy memories. She said, she has a bottle of clove extract in her pocket, the sm
ell reminds her of her grandmother.
I began thinking of what I could use. She asked me if I wanted to go have a smok
e with her outside, and I did, so we went to the smoking gazebo. I asked her whe
re she learned these things that she was telling me about, no one ever understoo
d and gave me tips that helped.
Then she told me about reddit. And about a few subs that are primarily for women
, to discuss anything, and a lot of women talked about these coping skills to co
pe after rape and domestic violence. I felt sad suddenly, and thought of the rap
e problem in the military. She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good
chance she had been raped. As she spoke, I thought of how bad she had it. Not on
ly did she have PTSD like me and so many other men do, but she had PTSD from get
ting raped by the very men that were supposed to have her back.
She told me about the online community that helps her more than the stupid group
therapy we all had to go to. So I have lurked on reddit for a while. But I want
ed to reach out and thank her, but no idea what her username is. I know she freq
uents subs like this that are aimed at women, so I was hoping that maybe she wou

ld see this and would know how much it meant to me that she helped me. If anyone
here knows of a female veteran that frequents here, let me know.
Mysterious woman from the VA, thank you so much. You helped me find a path to he
aling. And I hope you find this.
Edit: I made this post then took a nap. I checked reddit on my phone and noticed
the very overwhelming response. Thank you, to everyone, for your support. And I
think I may have found her! My apologies for not respondingnto most of you, som
etimes I find even interacting with strangers online can be very anxiety inducin
g so I tend to steer clear, which is why I took so long to even make an account
on here. But I appreciate the kindness; I was not expecting to get this kind of
response. Thank you.
And final edit: well, found her. And, that is all. Being able to talk with her a
gain is great, and the positive response is nice, but the negative shit and the
insults being thrown and both her and I is very sad. I do not know why people mu
st hurt others when they are getting kind attention from others but I am told th
at is the way of Reddit. No, we will not be dating, she has a boyfriend which I
knew because he was there when I first met her. Tomorrow we are meeting for lunc
h, maybe she will post pics of it. I thought this would be fun and exciting but
with the negativity I am dreading even coming on reddit again. So, if she wants
to post pics tomorrow that will be up to her.
323 commentsshare
all 323 comments
sorted by: best
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1270 points 12 hours ago*
So, I passed this post by with an upvote and moved on. I was watching TV and it
clicked.
Was this at the VA in Loma Linda, CA?
And I appreciate the gold, guys, but please do not gild me anymore. I get the se
ntiment, but please, give it to someone else. I have no use for it.
permalink
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 518 points 11 hours ago
Yes! The VA in Loma Linda! Sorry I took so long to respond, I made this post, th
en took my meds and ended up passing out. Is this you?
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 141 points 11 hours ago
I hope so, this is one of the best things I've read in a while.
permalinkparent
[ ]joethomma 71 points 7 hours ago
It was all made possible by /u/bloody_twat_rag
permalinkparent
[ ]AcknowledgeTheLlama 17 points 6 hours ago
And her grandmothers cloves
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 117 points 11 hours ago
Oh. I am still new to this, I have only been lurking on reddit for a few weeks,
maybe. I did not know that.
permalink
[ ]tryingtomakeit9 74 points 11 hours ago
So...is it her?
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 210 points 10 hours ago
Yes it is her!
permalinkparent
[ ]bhamv 38 points 10 hours ago
Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]allygraceless 23 points 10 hours ago
This makes me so happy :)
permalinkparent

[ ]minouu 22 points 8 hours ago


I love /u/bloody_twat_rag. She always has words of wisdom.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 10 points 7 hours ago
Is she well known on this site?
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 18 points 7 hours ago
I have no idea, but I find her name very memorable.
permalinkparent
[ ]A_Cylon_Raider 9 points 7 hours ago
Probably not, it's just a common thing people joke about here when really nice o
r helpful people have surprising or strange usernames.
permalinkparent
[ ]aazav 21 points 9 hours ago
Glad you found the woman who helped you.
Feel better and when you can, pass on the same help that she gave you.
Cheers.
permalinkparent
[ ]terriblecowgirl 12 points 10 hours ago
This is beautiful. I'm glad you found her!!! :)
permalinkparent
[ ]littlemissderpy 7 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]digitalyss 7 points 9 hours ago
Holy shit
permalinkparent
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 10 points 10 hours ago
They are apparently PMing right now, so... I think so?
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]your_ex_girlfriend- 40 points 11 hours ago
The MUA in me loves this cat eye and the TwoXer in me wants it to be her... even
if it is kind of weird to repost this album here...
permalink
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 40 points 10 hours ago
Tape. That is my secret here on the eye make up. Tape.
permalinkparent
[ ]Mojitana 6 points 8 hours ago
That's a really great tip. Thanks!
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 138 points 11 hours ago
Wow I look like shit in those pics.
permalink
[ ]LabGeeked 156 points 11 hours ago
Shaddap, you are lovely in every way.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 186 points 10 hours ago
Yes, she is as beautiful outside as she is on the inside.
permalinkparent
[ ]ilovegingermen 92 points 9 hours ago
peanut_butter_scotch and bloody_twat_rags - A Love Story
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 118 points 9 hours ago
Perhaps, but I am in a happy relationship with children. This could be the start
of a friendship, though.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 60 points 10 hours ago
Sorry, I honestly didn't think you looked bad and they were from the first post

with your face that I found. I was just trying to help u/peanut_butter_scotch, d
oesn't sound like he knows how to look at a users' profile.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 120 points 10 hours ago
Its OK, the pics are just not flattering because I posted them to MUA for CC. Me
and him are talking on fb messenger right now, I think he is a bit overwhelmed
and shocked by the response he got.
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 51 points 10 hours ago
Okay now that is just fantastic. Cheers to you for being the good person you nee
ded to be at the time you needed to be it. It sounds like you selflessly helped
a fellow human when it really mattered.
permalinkparent
[ ]HaloNinjee 12 points 9 hours ago
I <3 you.
I know of the typical subs like this but if you have some suggestions for more I
'm looking to show my wife around the friendlier side of reddit.
permalinkparent
[ ]itsme_eloise 16 points 9 hours ago
Hey there - what does your wife like? TwoX is good, /r/TrollXChromosomes is amaz
ing as is their brother sub /r/TrollYChromosome. I personally also like some sub
reddits aimed at improving my appearance that have a bit more of a feminine comm
unity like /r/MakeupAddiction, /r/SkincareAddiction and /r/HaircareScience. Depe
nding on what she likes, there's probably a subreddit for it!
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]cviwood 10 points 8 hours ago
I like the SFWPornNetwork. Also it is not porn, they are sub reddits with pretty
pretty pictures.
/r/AbandonedPorn has images like this old stairway.
Check the right columnfor related subreddits.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 5 points 9 hours ago
Twox, and if you look in the sidebar they have links for related subs. That is h
ow I navigate around.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 17 points 10 hours ago
So it is you? Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]marshmallowmermaid 7 points 9 hours ago
:) I'm glad you got to connect.
permalinkparent
[ ]KitsBeach 4 points 5 hours ago
I just want to say that I recognize your name from other lady-oriented subs and
I thought you always seemed like a swell gal. This post cements that!
permalinkparent
[ ]diestate_enter 3 points 8 hours ago
Ask him how he came up with his username.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 32 points 7 hours ago
Are you talking about me? This is the name my kid gave to my dog. I think it is
the name of a dog on a kid show. I'm not a creative person, and the name always
reminds me of my daughter and makes me smile.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]aazav 14 points 9 hours ago
Ahhh. You look fine.
Glad you took the time to help peanut_butter_scotch out.
You did good.

permalinkparent
[ ]6F6A9O9 16 points 9 hours ago
I think you're real pretty on the inside and on the outside. What we call "all t
he way pretty". You're all the way pretty.
permalinkparent
[ ]GreenlyRose 7 points 7 hours ago
Don't be silly, you look lovely in those pics! :-)
permalinkparent
[ ]Pandibabi 18 points 10 hours ago
Wow u r beautiful .. from another heterosexual female btw dont want to sound cre
epy ok
permalinkparent
[ ]screaming-trees 14 points 10 hours ago
wow i love the great attidfue in this subreddit 10/10
permalinkparent
[ ]darkshy 6 points 8 hours ago
I mean, it could be worse. You look fine. You could actually look like a bloody
twat rag though. That would be terrible.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
In my defense I am wearing a lot of make up in those well mostly eye make up, th
ey were posted to makeupaddiction
permalinkparent
[ ]PushitClaw -2 points 6 hours ago
Just breathe...
permalinkparent
[ ]houseofbacon 12 points 11 hours ago
We must know if its a match. The suspense is thicker than my backup jar of peanu
t butter.
permalinkparent
[ ]Nozphexezora 10 points 11 hours ago
WooOOOooo. Lucky you! I've had a similar situation once, but about drug addictio
n. She never came back.
permalinkparent
[ ]BloodGuts_AngelCake 10 points 9 hours ago
I don't know why but this brought a tear to my eye. It's nice to see there are k
ind people in this world.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ask_Me_What_Love_Is 6 points 6 hours ago
Hey pbs. I'm not her nor a veteran but I've had my fair share of woes and work i
n the loma Linda area (redlands) and if you ever need someone to catch a smoke o
r talk with, grab a beer or lunch with I am here. Just pm me and let me know.
permalinkparent
[ ]kaleybrennan 4 points 8 hours ago
hey idk if you'll see this but you should do a full tutorial of how you did that
makeup. and show what kind you use <3
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 13 points 7 hours ago
I think this was directed at the wrong person.
permalinkparent
[ ]Call_me_Kelly [score hidden] 1 hour ago
If there is a vet center near you I highly recommend checking them out.
http://www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
They specialize in ptsd and reintigration. When the VA became impossible for me
to go to because the noise, the people, and many bad experiences caused me to ha
ve panic attacks any time I entered I began going to the vet center for ptsd hel
p instead.
The atmosphere at my local vet center was awesome. The counselor I saw also help
ed me by creating scripts of what I needed to say to my pdoc and would message h
er on my behalf occasionally.

Also I began teleconference appointments with my va pdoc from a local outpatient


VA clinic. I didn't have the stress of going back into the VA and it allowed me
to tweak and adjust my meds when needed.
If you have nightmares, talk to a pdoc about prazosin. It helps reduce the whole
waking up flooded with adrenalin from nightmares thing. http://www.webmd.com/ato-z-guides/prazosin-for-ptsd
Also, the va prescribed me Xanax for anxiety for two years. If it's prescribed l
ong term for you talk to your doc about longterm side effects. I became full blo
wn agorophobic on it and it took away a year of my life. Imagine my anger when I
learner the va was supposed to have moved away from prescribing it long term du
e to terrible side effects years BEFORE they prescribed it to me.
/r/veterans is a pretty cool subreddit if you've never been.
I so glad someone was able to give you a stepping stone towards healing. I keep
pictures of my kids in my wallet to help ground me during panic attacks. I also
highly recommend changing the immediate surroundings. Leave the room or building
when one starts and it can sometimes help reduce the damage.
Kelly
permalinkparent
[ ]lawdudette -2 points 6 hours ago
/r/bestof!!!!!!
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 12 points 6 hours ago
I hope not I can not handle the harassment I'm not logging in again this is it I
am done
permalinkparent
[ ]PM_ME_TITS_MLADY 12 points 4 hours ago
Sigh, the internet is for everyone. But that's precisely the reason why sometime
s it's not for everyone.
Reddit is one of those places.
I wish you all the best, focus on the positive, always. It'll help at times, I p
romise.
permalinkparent
[ ]CochinBrahmaLover 2 points 3 hours ago
You can delete your account.
Go to preferences and there's an option to delete.
permalinkparent
[+] (1 child)
[ ]Notasurgeon 30 points 11 hours ago
Hey, I was working there today. What a coincidence.
permalinkparent
[ ]jonnyk354 -4 points 6 hours ago
Can you confirm that this event occurred?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Read the post. Did not say it happened today. It happened at the beginning of th
e month.
permalinkparent
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (4 children)
[ ]LoCHiF 22 points 10 hours ago
Gold is largely a donation to reddit. No-one really uses it.
permalinkparent
[ ]DarlinUntitled18 7 points 5 hours ago
I like to think of it somewhat symbolically, as in "Someone made a donation to R
eddit in your name!" sort of like, this comment, this person, or this content is
what I want to see on Reddit. People guild her because she is the kind of perso
n they want their user base to be, and they're proud to use the same website as
her.
permalinkparent
[ ]LoCHiF 3 points 2 hours ago
Agreed. It's a combination of a super emphatic upvote and the donation to reddit

as a sort of "yay reddit!" gesture.


permalinkparent
[ ]DiffidentDissident 9 points 10 hours ago
Hey, thanks for looking out for OP. I think that makes you pretty great.
permalinkparent
[ ]Drachte 17 points 11 hours ago
Op pls
permalinkparent
[ ]rightioushippie 7 points 8 hours ago
so what were the subreddits that helped you find coping mechanisms?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 11 points 8 hours ago
Twox, actually. I had made a post a while ago about being trigger by a video I s
aw of animal abuse that triggered flashbacks from sexual abuse in my childhood a
nd a lot of people gave me grounding tips.
permalinkparent
[ ]King_Penguin_IV [score hidden] 49 minutes ago
What grounding tips helped you the most?
permalinkparent
[ ]wibblywobblychilango 5 points 10 hours ago
Holy shit, things like this are why I love reddit so much! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]monkeiboi 8 points 10 hours ago
ignore her! Everyone gild her!
permalinkparent
[ ]MultiversEngineer 3 points 2 hours ago
Air Force vet here. I have PTSD with panic disorder.
This post is amazing to me. I can appreciate anyone who helps their fellow vets.
I am still in the process of gaining control over my own panic problems. Any ad
vice would be greatly appreciated.
PS: I am currently in school and was also diagnosed with ADD recently. The last
two years have just been a wreck.
permalinkparent
[ ]Defeat 3 points 4 hours ago
Hey there. If it makes you feel better: reddit runs very few ads. Criminally few
. This site was hemorrhaging money, and it probably still is. A few years ago (h
onestly I can't remember reddit time just sort of blurs together for me) reddit
was plagued by serve issues. Nothing would work or load. Then some genius invent
ed reddit gold. Or maybe it was mold first. Either way reddit was saved. Gold is
a donation more to the site we all mooch off of, and is definitely not a reward
for you being amazing. Also panic attacks fucking suck so thank you for helping
that guy out .
permalinkparent
[ ]MrFeles [score hidden] 58 minutes ago
Goddamnit. Read story, imagine some sort of fancy saint. Man calls out to the cr
owd, will she reveal herself?
Blood twat rag emerges.
What a strange mixture of emotions.
Also slightly relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2CWsqGFgkA
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey -2 points 7 hours ago
Weird, I guess you live in Riverside? What are the odds you would live in the sa
me county as myself.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Well, seeing that the Loma Linda VA is used by both Riverside and San Bernardino
Counties, and considering how vast both of those counties are, plus people from
other counties who use that VA because they do not want to go to the others in
LA Jolla or Long Beach due to distance or whatever reasons, it is not so unlikel
y.

permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey 4 points 6 hours ago
Well, even though I'm technically a veteran now, I've never had a reason to visi
t the VA and fortunately do not have any problems with PTSD or anything of that
nature. (Depression, but nothing related to my time in).
Plus, I just moved here, so I thought that was interesting.
Either way, best of luck to you. I'm sorry your time in had some truly shitty mo
ments, for lack of a better phrase. I'm sure you're aware, but most of us are ag
ainst that shit. At least, I hope.
permalinkparent
[+]apologies-in-advance comment score below threshold (0 children)
[ ]Walkingonadream7 -1 points 3 hours ago
You can use it to buy some wax for your cross
permalinkparent
[+] (6 children)
[ ]RediscoveredIllusion 53 points 12 hours ago
I have PTSD as well, from abuse situations like so many others here. I am so gla
d someone came along to help you cope. I had forgotten about grounding myself th
is way and reading your post for her... Well, whomever she is, if she finds this
, thank you from me as well.
permalink
[ ]Ivyleaguehandjob 185 points 13 hours ago
My father is a Korean War vet. We sat watching TV and the (new) Wounded Warrior
Project donation commercial comes on and my dad gets very angry. These commercia
ls are on par if not emotionally worse than the starving children and beaten dog
commercials.
We have done something very wrong to our veterans. There should be no need for c
harities like this. NO charities targeting veterans in need of food, clothing, s
helter, education, job training and more.
WWP Purpose:
To raise awareness and enlist the public's aid for the needs of injured service
members.
My father says "NO, that's our governments job, our employer!"
permalink
[ ]athingz 39 points 11 hours ago*
job training and more.
As an Iraq veteran that can't even seem to get a job interview at Walmart, I'm s
tarting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm not sure I have PTSD from my service, but about 8 years later when I finally
went in to a sliding scale clinic for depression symptoms and inability to conc
entrate/study (failing school), they called it "survivor's guilt". I wish it was
my truck that got hit. I volunteered for every convoy after that. Never heard o
f survivor's guilt until I was out for 8 years.
Never used the VA before. Not even sure where to start or where they're located.
I just learned a couple months ago you don't have to be a 20 year vet or have a
disability % to qualify, apparently. All third-hand knowledge. I thought you co
uld only use them for stuff that happened while in, and there's no proof of anyt
hing health related on military record. I've seen my folder right before ETS.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 39 points 10 hours ago
You can use the VA for medical care, even if you do not have a disability claim.
You just need to have served 180 days active service. Go to a local VA with you
r 214 and fill out some paperwork, you can usually be seen right away.
permalinkparent
[ ]panthera213 8 points 9 hours ago
Does your VA offer the chance to look at having service animals? My boyfriend is
in the CF and some of the guys here have gotten service animals to help them wi
th their PTSD. I know that it's been a comfort to them, or at least maybe anothe
r avenue to explore to help you out. Hope you are feeling better.
permalinkparent

[ ]IT_is_not_all_I_am 10 points 8 hours ago


Yeah, I know a guy that breeds and trains dogs for Rebuilding Warriors. I know h
e's trained them for folks with PTSD, but no idea how that organization selects
recipients. Might be worth looking into.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
Or, find someone that gets rescue dogs and trains them instead of dogs that were
bred just for.
permalinkparent
[ ]asianfromamerica 1 point 6 hours ago
SO ARE YOU THE WOMAN THAT HELPED THIS MAN? You are amazing I hope you realize th
at.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1 point 5 hours ago
No. I'm not. I'm average at best.
permalinkparent
[ ]darkangl187 7 points 8 hours ago
the VA is for those who served and discharged honorably, service connection or n
ot. please check them out it sounds like you need to consider service connection
for your survivors guilt.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 7 points 8 hours ago
Not just an honorable discharge. As long as you did not receive a dishonorable.
General, GUH, etc are accepted.
permalinkparent
[ ]Yeynna 4 points 6 hours ago
I'm starting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's the same for the unemployed, disable
d, and homeless who aren't veterans in the US (or anywhere else, I'm not America
n), I don't know what to say about everything else you faced because I can't ima
gine what living through it is like, but I want to say that no matter how much i
t seems like if you were suffering in the "right" way people would care more it'
s not true, it seems that way for everyone, but we're not alone in the facing th
is, and it's not your fault people are dismissing and scornful.
permalinkparent
[ ]Lots42 3 points 5 hours ago
www.211.org has lots of resourves for mental, physical and related help. Easy to
find lots and lots of stuff.
permalinkparent
[ ]preflop 3 points 2 hours ago
Hours late, but if you're having trouble getting things arranged, put in a call
to your local congressional office. You'll probably be assigned to a constituent
casework person and they'll put you in touch with who you need to talk to and w
here you need to go.
permalinkparent
[ ]mmm_toasty 19 points 12 hours ago
Hopefully at some point in the future the laws and regulations regarding providi
ng aid of all kinds to veterans in need will be fixed. For now though, as ways o
f acquiring the funding that the government fails to provide, I think that they
serve an important purpose.
permalinkparent
[ ]pmmesomeavocado 16 points 12 hours ago
The problem is that to do that, you need to raise taxes. And if you do that, you
're a freedom hating commie.
permalinkparent
[ ]bouncer4819 19 points 11 hours ago
Or we could just cut from our extremely overfunded defense budget, and reallocat
e those funds to actually help our vets
permalinkparent
[ ]vuhleeitee 0 points 4 hours ago

Yes. We should fire a whole bunch of people that are a few years away from retir
ement anyway. That makes complete sense.
You do realize that cutting the defense budget just means that it will create mo
re veterans who are at a loss for a stable source of income.
permalinkparent
[ ]tiehunter 3 points 4 hours ago
Or... Instead of buying jets that the military neither needs nor wants, we could
spend that money on veterans.
permalinkparent
[ ]athennna 8 points 11 hours ago
Or you need to better budget the tax revenue you already have.
permalinkparent
[ ]QuelqueChoseRose 0 points 2 hours ago
My understanding is that the V.A.'s fairly well-funded, nowadays. Relative to th
e rest of the federal government, at least. (Its funding's increased in years wh
en even Defense's was cut.) The problem's entirely administrative. It's a bureau
cratic nightmare, and no one's been able to solve it.
I think if a presidential candidate ran on a platform of simply making the feder
al government more efficient, they'd win easily. All the bickering about taxes a
nd spending, and we're still incredibly bad at doing what we want with the money
we tax and spend.
permalinkparent
[ ]hyene 9 points 11 hours ago
no, we don't need to raise taxes. we need to move from mathematically-illogical
capitalism to a scientifically-managed resource-based economy.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ruste 1 point 10 hours ago
Honestly curious, why should the government ever provide a service that is alrea
dy provided for by charities. Why force everyone to pay for something that peopl
e already give willingly to assuming that they provide enough. (I know they don'
t but according to OP there should be NO need for these charities as if it shoul
d be taken care of by the government regardless.)
permalinkparent
[ ]ggqq 7 points 10 hours ago
because there is a fine line we need to skate as a society between socialism and
capitalism to keep the employable people happy. If the government paid for ever
ything, we'd have incredibly high tax. This discourages people from working too
hard with tax brackets so you end up with nobody earning that much and an even h
igher tax because less people earn lots. What we need to do is convince rich peo
ple to be charitable (or rather, just tell rich people to give their money away
for free. I just solved the economic crisis. boom. you're welcome)
permalinkparent
[ ]Otto_Lidenbrock 6 points 9 hours ago
Except that tax brackets have never stopped anyone from making more money. Compl
ain about it, sure... But they still take the raise. It's a patently false argum
ent.
permalinkparent
[ ]undsowbe 10 points 8 hours ago
Your father as a Korean War Veteran would not qualify for the WWP program. Only
post 9/11 Vets qualify. Even at the VA, there are programs that my Vietnam-era h
usband does not qualify for (acupuncture being the most recent). The docs there
want the prestige and kudos that comes from treating recent Vets. It's the same
with the WWP. They know they can rake in the bucks if they play on public sentim
ent for post 9/11 Vets.
Never before have Veterans been excluded from programs based on the era they ser
ved in, until now.
TLDR: Fuck the WWP
permalinkparent
[ ]DrTypo 8 points 7 hours ago
WWP is also something that is wrong. Google wounded warrior project scam, and lo

ok at how much of the money that they collect actually goes to vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 160 points 14 hours ago
That is very sweet and I hope she sees this too! Best of luck on your journey an
d I am so sorry that as a nation we do so little for you and the other veterans.
Our system (what parts are not a clusterfuck) is frustrating at best and I am g
lad you find the courage every day to get up and navigate the system and your sy
mptoms, rather than letting the circumstances win. Hope she sees this! :)
permalink
[ ]mantiskiller 18 points 13 hours ago
I have very little knowledge of what the opportunities available for veterans bu
t always hear that it is inadequate. What improvements do you think the governme
nt could make?
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 29 points 12 hours ago
Well, (I'm assuming you are in the US) the system is just not streamlined and po
orly funded. You go for mental health help, there is no extra or quick he for pe
ople coming in while in crisis. Most get the same wait time as others. You go, y
ou sign up, and then you wait. Some people 6-8 weeks to be seen for someone who
sees you for 10 minutes to determine the meds you need and whether or not therap
y will help. Never mind med changes, trying to get refills. And you can forget h
ousing if you are homeless. Most VA houses/shelters are 30-50 beds and have wait
ing lists a mile long. We have homeless populations of mentally ill veterans who
, with the right meds and a few months of meals and a roof over their head would
be able to work some and get back on their feet. It's just a very broken, poorl
y funded, slow moving system and we as a country should be ashamed of ourselves.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster -3 points 12 hours ago
And you can forget housing if you are homeless.
That's why there is a pension program to give money to those that need it.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 16 points 12 hours ago
Yeah, but in some cases the money isn't enough or the application process is too
long and they are homeless before they get the money. Most homeless vets get mo
ney, its just not enough to live on and they aren't able to hold a job because t
hey can't get enough services to help their PTSD and resulting addictions. I was
a case worker for a veterans program for a year. I only lasted a year. It was t
he worst. The suicide rates, filling out paper work and seeing them be desperate
and only being able to say, 'well, I submitted it. we just have to wait.', not
having housing for them so at 5pm after hours of calling they were back out to w
ander another night on the streets. Ugh, I felt awful.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 21 points 12 hours ago
The pension program is only for vets with wartime service. Peacetime vets don't
have this fallback. Additionally, pension is only for those determined disabled.
There are some newer programs to combat homelessness for vets, but they depend
on location.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster 2 points 11 hours ago*
I'm just saying there is something, many people make it sound like there is no e
ffort at all. Homeless cases are a high priority. You sound like a VSR or VSO?
oh, ok, downvote me for thinking somebody sounds incredibly knowledgeable.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 12 points 11 hours ago
No. I'm a Legal Aid attorney who specializes in vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster 5 points 11 hours ago
Awesome. Nice to meet you.
permalinkparent
[ ]Sulde 37 points 12 hours ago

upvote for visibility.


and dude: when you are going through hell, keep on going. Never never never give
up.
permalink
[ ]endergrrl 36 points 12 hours ago
Female army vet here, though not the one you're looking for. Which VAMC were you
at? I'm glad someone helped you through that and that you found a safe and help
ful space here.
permalink
[ ]crouchtouchpause 32 points 12 hours ago
This is a beautiful post. All I can offer is that it does get better, and that a
nyone capable of writing such an emotionally honest post has already crossed mor
e bridges that most manage in a lifetime.
I hope she reads what you've written, but even if she doesn't you should know th
at many people have understood the sentiment and been moved by it.
permalink
[ ]mablesyrup 9 points 11 hours ago
Posts like this prove why today is the best monday of the year!
permalinkparent
[ ]Tonyman457 12 points 9 hours ago
This post has everything. The tragedy. The cry for help. The rocky montage at th
e VA where everything gets slightly better, but he looses his mentor somewhere.
Then, BAM! they rekindle!
The cherry on top is that her fuckin reddit ID is Bloody Twat Rag. Hits you with
the feels, then brings you back with some good ol' fashioned dark humor.
Most novels aren't this good.
permalinkparent
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
I read this in Stefon's voice :)
permalinkparent
[ ]Edrondol 33 points 6 hours ago
Marine vet here. No PTSD unless you count flashbacks of sitting in a storeroom f
or hours. But I wanted to pop in and say don't sweat the haters. Most of them ar
e just stupid kids trying to be edgy. The rest are assholes because they are ano
nymous and it's how they get their jollies. Just like the military, reddit has g
ood people and reddit has dicks. Unlike the military, you can completely ignore
the dicks here.
Don't know what branch you were in (I didn't read through everything), but I'm g
iving you a big Semper Fi anyway. Stay strong, brother.
permalink
[ ]spookyxskepticism 16 points 11 hours ago
Aaaaand I'm in tears. I'm so glad she was able to help you. Here's an upvote. Ho
pefully with enough of these she'll take notice and see your post! I'm so glad t
hat your experience has helped you on to the path of healing. Thank you so much
for your service <3
permalink
[ ]scarletdrive 3 points 9 hours ago
I needed a good cry today. Bless this post.
permalinkparent
[ ]faeriechyld 16 points 12 hours ago
I hope she gets your message of thanks even if she wants to remain anonymous. An
d I really really hope you start feeling better too. I wish I could do more than
offer internet hugs!
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[ ]schweppesmeoffmyfeet 32 points 13 hours ago
This is why I love Reddit.
permalink
[ ]mightyflynn 14 points 12 hours ago
This is beautiful. I hope you are finding your ground.
permalink

[ ]anniebme 13 points 11 hours ago


Hi friend! I find having a smooth stone in my pocket helps. The stone reminds me
of chilling next to a river. I hope you find your mini-reminder, too!
I have found EMDR therapy rough to go through but helpful to process thoughts an
d memories. It may help you, too. It won't be easy but neither is what you are c
urrently dealing with.
permalink
[ ]BaronessUnderboob 11 points 8 hours ago
I use a piece of hematite sometimes, the weight feels nice in my hands. Though I
don't subscribe to that healing crystals stuff, I just like shiny rocks.
permalinkparent
[ ]anniebme 8 points 8 hours ago
Sounds like a great reminder to just be! Heavy enough to remind, light enough to
carry! Hematite just looks cool, too.
permalinkparent
[ ]DancingHeel 12 points 9 hours ago
I'm not her, but reading this has made me smile. I get down about working at VA
a lot - the bureaucracy and paperwork (and the sexual harassment from older Vets
) are really pushing me out the door. But I like the people I work with, and I k
now they really care about the wellbeing of Veterans. This is a great example of
that. Whether she was an employee or just a fellow Vet receiving services, ther
e are definitely good people in that crazy system.
To anyone else out there struggling with PTSD, other mental health concerns, or
service-related health issues - there is hope. Even when the VA gets horrible pr
ess, even when claims are backlogged - there are good people who want to help an
d are well-equipped to do so. If you haven't sought any help at the VA but you m
ight qualify for services, it's worth a shot. Don't give up. Every VA is, unfort
unately, very different in terms of quality. Shop around if you need to. It real
ly sucks that that's the way it is, because Veterans deserve better care. Govern
ment funding of Veteran services is extremely poor. But I have seen the efforts
of good people help change the system, slowly, from the inside.
permalink
[ ]paulb02 9 points 10 hours ago
This is a great story and I am happy you were able to find one of the good peopl
e at the VA. There is a lot of VA bashing and I understand it is not the best si
tuation for veterans, but some people at the VA do truly care about the Veterans
and their treatment and benefits. While my wife was not a vet herself, she work
s in the Comp and Pension section and deals primarily with the veterans via the
claims process. The Veterans rarely know the person behind the claim but she doe
s go that extra step whenever possible to ensure the claims are not jacked up.
permalink
[ ]TurdFergusonTheThird 10 points 9 hours ago
This post motivated me to join reddit. Long time listener first time poster here
.. Thanks for the energy.
permalink
[ ]TheRealFJ 15 points 6 hours ago
Dude please don't let the ass holes turn you away from Reddit. I get shit all th
e time for the smallest shit here but you need to know that those people are onl
y here to be mean...like the comments on YouTube.
permalink
[ ]Sector_805 23 points 11 hours ago
As a female who has served, I love this and hope she reads this.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
Thank you for your service, ma'am
permalinkparent
[ ]Bm1324 13 points 12 hours ago
Wow, I hope you are able to find her. As someone with PTSD, I find that even a l
ot of well-meaning people don't know what to say or do when I'm triggered or in
a difficult place. They do their best to use methods that they've seen or say th

ings like "It'll be alright," which aren't much help at the moment and too dista
nt for me to connect to. I like that she was real and helped to put you back int
o reality by grounding you in the current place and time. I'll have to remember
this as well :)
permalink
[ ]izzgo 24 points 13 hours ago
Upvoted so maybe she has a better chance to see this.
permalink
[ ]supersayanftw 5 points 12 hours ago
Please update, best of luck to you
permalink
[ ]devoted2mercury 7 points 12 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she sees this; Reddit is awesome.
permalink
[ ]Clayra 7 points 11 hours ago
I know first hand how trying it can be getting treatment from the VA. I sometime
s find that it's easier to go to one of the help desks and ask them to walk you
to wherever you want to go. It won't get you put to the front of the line, but I
've found that things tend to move more smoothly.
Like so much of government work it's just a big good-ole-boys club, and there's
a good chance that anyone working there has to at the very least be friendly wit
h everyone else if they have any hopes of staying.
permalink
[ ]BareKnuckleKitty 7 points 11 hours ago
This is so beautiful. Thank you for your service. I really hope she sees this!
permalink
[ ]petit_cochon 6 points 11 hours ago
Hey buddy, so glad this subreddit has helped you, and I hope it continues to hel
p you as you recover and heal.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 6 points 11 hours ago
OP, thank you for your service and sacrifice. Thanks also to the VA mystery woma
n for her service and sacrifice.
permalink
[ ]nerak1138 6 points 11 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she finds this, but even if she doesn't, she surely knows that s
he made a difference that day. Pay it forward, man. And keep your chin up. Lots
of love to you and all veterans.
permalink
[ ]GimmeMuchosMangos 8 points 11 hours ago
Good luck to you.
permalink
[ ]saraleecupcake 7 points 11 hours ago
Best of luck
permalink
[ ]theBIGnaudd 7 points 10 hours ago
Keep your head up brother! Look for a support group. The VA has resources and ca
n help find you a group to join. Stay strong! There are so many people out there
who care and want to help you out with your experiences.
permalink
[ ]rogue780 6 points 10 hours ago
/r/veterans has some good resources as well
permalink
[ ]SuperChubbs 7 points 8 hours ago
This is really special. I served on a submarine for 4 years getting out in 2012
and I had a hard time readjusting. PTSD and depression combined with feeling lik
e I never related to many other veterans because I served in a different environ
ment then most.
I know it isn't easy to help someone going through PTSD or a panic attack but i'
ve had a few people really come through for me when I needed it and I don't know

where i'd be if they hadn't. Now my life is so much brighter. :) Thank you so m
uch for stepping up and helping that guy, people like you are wonderful.
permalink
[ ]somegaychick 2 points 4 hours ago
I cant even begin to imagine what its like. Thank you for your service. <3
permalinkparent
[ ]SuperChubbs 1 point 3 hours ago
Thank you so much, it used to make me uncomfortable hearing that but it's kinda
nice now that i'm doing so much better :) You made my night.
permalinkparent
[ ]kawaii-throwaway 6 points 8 hours ago
This entire post v was beautiful beginning to end.
My ptsd is considered in remission but I still wear patchouli pull to remind me
of my grandmother. I also have a lyric from one of my favorite songs on my wrist
. Seeing the message (be patient) itself keeps me grounded but being reminded of
the song takes me back to awe inspiring memories that snap me right out of an e
pisode.
It's a magical feeling when you finally find coping mechanisms that actually hel
p. Every moment before that feels like a constant waking nightmare, a landmine o
f triggers, but once you find what works, it's as if a weight is lifted from you
.
permalink
[ ]Milagro_chef 21 points 13 hours ago
I have PTSD. Her definition is exact correct. Thank you.
permalink
[ ]I_require_answers 10 points 10 hours ago
It's disappointing, and sadly unsurprising, that none of the professionals you w
orked with at the VA taught you some grounding skills, I mean that's really trau
ma therapy 101. It makes me sad our vets don't get better treatment than that. A
nyway, glad you guys found each other, and thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]baconchief 5 points 10 hours ago
Thank you for your service Sir! I hope you regain control of your life and can l
ive on happily! Much respect.
permalink
[ ]nocomfychairs 6 points 9 hours ago
Thank you both for your service.
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]Hippiemamklp 5 points 8 hours ago
This made me tear up. I am sending huge cyber hugs to both of you! Sometimes hel
p comes in the most unlikely ways:-) Glad you are both getting help and I hope h
ealing.
permalink
[ ]ilokaners 6 points 7 hours ago
That's great. I wish you the best in healing. Sorry the VA doesn't help as much
as it should. I wish it would change but people like you and your friend are an
inspiration. Thanks for your service.
permalink

[ ]squirtsmilk 5 points 7 hours ago


Thank you to our vets.. And to kind and compassionate people .... They make the
world safe for us all.
permalink
[ ]Noculum 7 points 6 hours ago
This warmed my heart. What a lovely story.
permalink
[ ]MonkeyNacho 7 points 6 hours ago
Thank you both for your service. I hope she, and the rest of us here on Reddit,
can help you find a road to inner peace.
permalink
[ ]Lots42 17 points 6 hours ago
You're on a woman-friendly sub-reddit that ended up on /r/all. That's why there'
s some negativity floating to the surface. /r/all is full of jackasses who can't
deal with the fact woman-friendly sub-reddits exist.
Or that women exist.
permalink
[ ]chocobodanger 8 points 7 hours ago
I have PTSD as well from rape. I have been diagnosed but the "system" here has f
ailed me by not getting me treatment needed (saw a counselor, put on depression/
anxiety meds, told I would have therapy and have not seen another counselor sinc
e?) You inadvertently helped me cope just by posting what she had told you.
permalink
[ ]txdahlia 10 points 6 hours ago
Unfortunately social media can bring out the dark side of those to impotent to s
how it in their daily lives because they fear repercussions, so they use an anon
ymous faceless version of themselves and pretend to be a bad ass. You are worthy
of happiness and peace after your great sacrifice. Don't let others put you dow
n.
permalink
[ ]dftexas165 5 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaay! The power of reddit. Glad you found her! I appreciate your service too b
uddy. I really hope you learn how to deal with you're issues brought on by your
experiences at war.
permalink
[ ]lotsofsippycups 4 points 9 hours ago
Aww I'm so glad you found her! :)
permalink
[ ]Ammoholic 3 points 8 hours ago
My dad is a doctor who treats ptsd at that va. Ask to see Dr goldstein. He will
help you for sure!
permalink
[ ]soitgoes182 4 points 8 hours ago
This is fucking beautiful!!
permalink
[ ]liesforliars 4 points 7 hours ago
I'm so happy you found her, man !! The internet can be wonderful..
permalink
[ ]dontdid 5 points 7 hours ago
This is so touching. Thank you both for your service and compassion. I hope you
find relief from what haunts you.
permalink
[ ]TheRainMonster 4 points 7 hours ago
Scotch tastes like peanut butter to you, too?
permalink
[ ]Soxbee 5 points 7 hours ago
It's amazing how one person can really make a difference! I'm so glad you found
her again!
My heart goes out to all of the veterans. I want to hug you all and offer any su
pport I can for what you've been through.

permalink
[ ]jschlik 3 points 6 hours ago*
Glad you found her. Thanks for the humbling and inspiring post.
I dont know if anyone has already mentioned this but Vital Warrior (vitalwarrior
.org) could be a great resource for those suffering from mental illness. I reall
y like what they are doing to help Vets.
permalink
[ ]_Rootshell_ 13 points 11 hours ago
Peanut butter scotch, meet bloody twat rag. A match made in heaven.
permalink
[ ]Upam 8 points 11 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection, if this gets enough upvotes and stays on the m
ain page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story. Best of luck to
the op
permalink
[ ]aazav 4 points 9 hours ago
Be good man, be good.
permalink
[ ]cannedbread1 3 points 2 hours ago
I am so glad that there was a lifeline out there for you at the perfect time. I
am so very sad for negative comments you are getting. Some people truly are arse
hats.
permalink
[ ]TabulaRasaNot [score hidden] 33 minutes ago
You folks with the negative comments to which OP refers, the ones pushing him ba
ck into himself, shame on you. You make me wish karma was real.
permalink
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 8 points 13 hours ago
Upboats
permalink
[ ]saralt 5 points 11 hours ago
And many more boats.
permalinkparent
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 3 points 7 hours ago
best part is they found each other :)
permalinkparent
[ ]theclassywino 4 points 7 hours ago
You're a hero, best of luck to you. Thank you for serving.
permalink
[ ]ArcheryHunter4Life 4 points 5 hours ago
I just wanted to say thank you for stepping up and posting this, it is so touchi
ng. It is incredibly brave of you and I'm sorry for all that you've been through
and for all of the rude people on this site. I will probably never experience w
hat you have been through. I hope you find yourself healed and happy in the futu
re. Most especially, thank you for your service.
permalink
[ ]Code_NY [score hidden] 1 hour ago
I'm sorry you've had to read through negative responses to this post. It's the d
ownside of open forum on the Internet. Just let them wash over you and concentra
te on the good ones, which are plentiful.
I hope things get better for you soon and I'm glad you've managed to reconnect w
ith her :)
permalink
[ ]CrackpotPatriot [score hidden] 34 minutes ago
Takes a lot of courage to reach out a thank you on the interwebz -especially red
dit. Well done. Thank yous are just too rare in this world.
permalink
[ ]NejKidd 6 points 12 hours ago
Can't wait to see the response on /r/bestof
permalink

[ ]Honkbag 10 points 11 hours ago


Not to be "that guy" in an otherwise supportive thread, but breathing/mindfulnes
s meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therapies for panic attack
s. That's science. that's why the counselors likely repeated it.
Im sorry you didnt feel heard, OP, and the psychological empathy With someone pe
rceived/identified as previously traumatized now wise and mentoring seems helpfu
l to you. Also, the act of smoking mimics controlled breathing which contrasts w
ith either the feeling of suffocation or hyperventilation in panic. The peer sim
ply stated things in a different way that resonated based on shared experience.
That also is important...oftentimes people in therapy perceive that therapists "
don't understand" what they've been through, and therefore arent able to help th
em because they havent been through "the same thing". Fact is, even two people i
n the same fight wont experience the situation exactly the same. But that's not
the point. The point is that In addition to wanting to feel understood, OP, you
needed to know you're not alone, and you needed to see someone actively coping a
nd recovering.
Do what works for you OP...but try not to throw the baby out with the bath water
. You may have valid reasons for anger at the VA (and what psychological role th
ey play in the trauma experience) but those techniques are indeed helpful with c
ontinued practice. Maybe it just needed to be explained differently or in more d
epth (other than "just breathe"...which may come across as dismissive). use all
the resources (however limited) you have at your disposal and let your therapst
know what makes you mad.
Good luck.
permalink
[ ]waitwuh 16 points 9 hours ago
breathing/mindfulness meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therap
ies for panic attacks
Perhaps the little trinket or "reminder" is more helpful to mindfulness than jus
t telling somebody to breath.
permalinkparent
[ ]notteoscura 9 points 9 hours ago
I think the clutch is that she could meet him on his level of breathing alone no
t being enough. Some people can breathe their way out of a panic attack. Others
can't. But yes, science does show breathing to be beneficial.
permalinkparent
[ ]3jt 10 points 6 hours ago
Mindful breathing is a grounding technique. However, therapists usually don't te
ll you that, and if they do they don't emphasize the "why". They just say to bre
athe. If you're hyperventilating, and someone says "breathe", that's fucking stu
pid. What is helpful is to focus on something other than the fact that you're ha
ving a panic attack. Ritual activities like cigarette smoking are helpful. So is
mindful breathing. It's the mindful part that helps.
permalinkparent
[ ]PurpleMentat [score hidden] 1 hour ago
So much this. Breathing without grounding is pointless. Grounding is the point o
f slow, deep, fully exhaled breathing.
permalinkparent
[ ]Launchfit 3 points 8 hours ago
You may not even see this comment, but I highly recommend you try using medical
marijuana to help treat your PTSD. I'm not here trying to persuade you to try a
drug you may not have any knowledge of, but in my experience, it has had a treme
ndous benefit to veterans with PTSD. My brother served in Iraq for 3 years and r
eturned home with severe PTSD. After countless weeks of taking drugs that had no
real benefit whatsoever, he tried medical marijuana. Ever since he indulged in
weed, his condition has improved substantially and his PTSD symptoms seem to les
sen every day. Again, weed isn't for everyone and I'm not sitting here telling y
ou it's a magical drug that will completely cure you. I'm simply suggesting some
thing that could be of great use to you and potentially benefit you. Best of luc
k, and thank you for serving our country.

permalink
[ ]persnipboobiees 3 points 8 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection.. if this gets enough upvotes + stays on the ma
in page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story: best of luck to
the op.
permalink
[ ]LaughingJackass 2 points 5 hours ago
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Wanted to say just this.
permalink
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ]LadyLavaLamp -4 points 10 hours ago
bloody_twat_rag and peanut_butter_scotch forever! I SHIP IT
permalink
[+] (13 children)
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 50 minutes ago
I am a vet as well and im going through similar issues but one of your comments
is a little out of line.
" She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good chance she had been raped
."
Thats B/S, sorry to be the negative one in the party.
Thats like saying "Every wife of a soldier that stayed near base cheated on thei
r husband while they were deployed because all women are scandalous."
Obviously not true,
Just because its the army doesn't make them rapist and baby killers.
Please understand im not harassing you. Thats the kind of blanket statement that
could set others off, like me and my response....
permalink
[ ]Commando_Girl [score hidden] 36 minutes ago
Ummmm. There's a big difference between "good chance" and "every".
You have issues if you really don't see the difference between the two.
permalinkparent
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 31 minutes ago
Right but my point is both statements are false.
permalinkparent
[ ] 9 hours ago
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ] 7 hours ago
[+] (7 children)
[+] (15 children)
[ ] 2 hours ago
[ ]heatheranne[M] [score hidden] 1 hour ago
Be nice or go away.
permalink
[+] (2 children)
[+]Lonsdaleite comment score below threshold (1 child)
[+] (1 child)
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (6 children)
[+] (10 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+]nickbernstein comment score below threshold (2 children)
[+] (1 child)
[+] (2 children)
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Looking for a woman who helped me very much at the VA. Please read./r/all (self.
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submitted 14 hours ago * by peanut_butter_scotch
I am a male, and a combat veteran. I was doing well mentally for a while, under
the care of doctors and taking medication for PTSD and depression. One day, I we
nt to the VA to see my doctor and pick up meds. I was not doing well, a divorce
and financial problems had triggered my PTSD. And the VA was very crowded that d
ay. I was just trying to get meds at the pharmacy so I could go hone, but it was
so packed full of people and everyone was so rude and loud that I was having a
full on panic attack. I sat against a wall, shaking and in tears. Then, she stoo
d next to me.
She asked me when I got back. Fellow veterans always can tell when someone is fr
esh from the combat zone, and I know I appeared that way. I told her I had been

back for a few years but I was not doing well. And I just broke down. She listen
ed as I vented about the clusterfuck of rude people, and how I could not calm do
wn. I said, "I know, I am just supposed to fucking breathe, right?" That is what
the counselors at the VA always said. Just breathe, it will be okay.
"No." She said. "That is fucking pointless. Breathing will not help you right no
w. You are having a present reaction to a problem from the past. Right now, you
need to ground yourself and get out of the fear loop so you can calm down and be
gin to relax."
I asked, how do I do that? She told me about how everyone has something differen
t to ground them. Something comforting, something that triggers endorphins and h
appy memories. She said, she has a bottle of clove extract in her pocket, the sm
ell reminds her of her grandmother.
I began thinking of what I could use. She asked me if I wanted to go have a smok
e with her outside, and I did, so we went to the smoking gazebo. I asked her whe
re she learned these things that she was telling me about, no one ever understoo
d and gave me tips that helped.
Then she told me about reddit. And about a few subs that are primarily for women
, to discuss anything, and a lot of women talked about these coping skills to co
pe after rape and domestic violence. I felt sad suddenly, and thought of the rap
e problem in the military. She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good
chance she had been raped. As she spoke, I thought of how bad she had it. Not on
ly did she have PTSD like me and so many other men do, but she had PTSD from get
ting raped by the very men that were supposed to have her back.
She told me about the online community that helps her more than the stupid group
therapy we all had to go to. So I have lurked on reddit for a while. But I want
ed to reach out and thank her, but no idea what her username is. I know she freq
uents subs like this that are aimed at women, so I was hoping that maybe she wou
ld see this and would know how much it meant to me that she helped me. If anyone
here knows of a female veteran that frequents here, let me know.
Mysterious woman from the VA, thank you so much. You helped me find a path to he
aling. And I hope you find this.
Edit: I made this post then took a nap. I checked reddit on my phone and noticed
the very overwhelming response. Thank you, to everyone, for your support. And I
think I may have found her! My apologies for not respondingnto most of you, som
etimes I find even interacting with strangers online can be very anxiety inducin
g so I tend to steer clear, which is why I took so long to even make an account
on here. But I appreciate the kindness; I was not expecting to get this kind of
response. Thank you.
And final edit: well, found her. And, that is all. Being able to talk with her a
gain is great, and the positive response is nice, but the negative shit and the
insults being thrown and both her and I is very sad. I do not know why people mu
st hurt others when they are getting kind attention from others but I am told th
at is the way of Reddit. No, we will not be dating, she has a boyfriend which I
knew because he was there when I first met her. Tomorrow we are meeting for lunc
h, maybe she will post pics of it. I thought this would be fun and exciting but
with the negativity I am dreading even coming on reddit again. So, if she wants
to post pics tomorrow that will be up to her.
323 commentsshare
all 323 comments
sorted by: best
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1270 points 12 hours ago*
So, I passed this post by with an upvote and moved on. I was watching TV and it
clicked.
Was this at the VA in Loma Linda, CA?
And I appreciate the gold, guys, but please do not gild me anymore. I get the se
ntiment, but please, give it to someone else. I have no use for it.
permalink
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 518 points 11 hours ago
Yes! The VA in Loma Linda! Sorry I took so long to respond, I made this post, th
en took my meds and ended up passing out. Is this you?

permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 141 points 11 hours ago
I hope so, this is one of the best things I've read in a while.
permalinkparent
[ ]joethomma 71 points 7 hours ago
It was all made possible by /u/bloody_twat_rag
permalinkparent
[ ]AcknowledgeTheLlama 17 points 6 hours ago
And her grandmothers cloves
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 117 points 11 hours ago
Oh. I am still new to this, I have only been lurking on reddit for a few weeks,
maybe. I did not know that.
permalink
[ ]tryingtomakeit9 74 points 11 hours ago
So...is it her?
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 210 points 10 hours ago
Yes it is her!
permalinkparent
[ ]bhamv 38 points 10 hours ago
Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]allygraceless 23 points 10 hours ago
This makes me so happy :)
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 22 points 8 hours ago
I love /u/bloody_twat_rag. She always has words of wisdom.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 10 points 7 hours ago
Is she well known on this site?
permalinkparent
[ ]minouu 18 points 7 hours ago
I have no idea, but I find her name very memorable.
permalinkparent
[ ]A_Cylon_Raider 9 points 7 hours ago
Probably not, it's just a common thing people joke about here when really nice o
r helpful people have surprising or strange usernames.
permalinkparent
[ ]aazav 21 points 9 hours ago
Glad you found the woman who helped you.
Feel better and when you can, pass on the same help that she gave you.
Cheers.
permalinkparent
[ ]terriblecowgirl 12 points 10 hours ago
This is beautiful. I'm glad you found her!!! :)
permalinkparent
[ ]littlemissderpy 7 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]digitalyss 7 points 9 hours ago
Holy shit
permalinkparent
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 10 points 10 hours ago
They are apparently PMing right now, so... I think so?
permalinkparent
[ ] 11 hours ago
[ ]your_ex_girlfriend- 40 points 11 hours ago
The MUA in me loves this cat eye and the TwoXer in me wants it to be her... even

if it is kind of weird to repost this album here...


permalink
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 40 points 10 hours ago
Tape. That is my secret here on the eye make up. Tape.
permalinkparent
[ ]Mojitana 6 points 8 hours ago
That's a really great tip. Thanks!
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 138 points 11 hours ago
Wow I look like shit in those pics.
permalink
[ ]LabGeeked 156 points 11 hours ago
Shaddap, you are lovely in every way.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 186 points 10 hours ago
Yes, she is as beautiful outside as she is on the inside.
permalinkparent
[ ]ilovegingermen 92 points 9 hours ago
peanut_butter_scotch and bloody_twat_rags - A Love Story
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 118 points 9 hours ago
Perhaps, but I am in a happy relationship with children. This could be the start
of a friendship, though.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 60 points 10 hours ago
Sorry, I honestly didn't think you looked bad and they were from the first post
with your face that I found. I was just trying to help u/peanut_butter_scotch, d
oesn't sound like he knows how to look at a users' profile.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 120 points 10 hours ago
Its OK, the pics are just not flattering because I posted them to MUA for CC. Me
and him are talking on fb messenger right now, I think he is a bit overwhelmed
and shocked by the response he got.
permalinkparent
[ ]DayGlowBeautiful 51 points 10 hours ago
Okay now that is just fantastic. Cheers to you for being the good person you nee
ded to be at the time you needed to be it. It sounds like you selflessly helped
a fellow human when it really mattered.
permalinkparent
[ ]HaloNinjee 12 points 9 hours ago
I <3 you.
I know of the typical subs like this but if you have some suggestions for more I
'm looking to show my wife around the friendlier side of reddit.
permalinkparent
[ ]itsme_eloise 16 points 9 hours ago
Hey there - what does your wife like? TwoX is good, /r/TrollXChromosomes is amaz
ing as is their brother sub /r/TrollYChromosome. I personally also like some sub
reddits aimed at improving my appearance that have a bit more of a feminine comm
unity like /r/MakeupAddiction, /r/SkincareAddiction and /r/HaircareScience. Depe
nding on what she likes, there's probably a subreddit for it!
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]cviwood 10 points 8 hours ago
I like the SFWPornNetwork. Also it is not porn, they are sub reddits with pretty
pretty pictures.
/r/AbandonedPorn has images like this old stairway.
Check the right columnfor related subreddits.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 5 points 9 hours ago

Twox, and if you look in the sidebar they have links for related subs. That is h
ow I navigate around.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]MagicalZeuscat 17 points 10 hours ago
So it is you? Yay!
permalinkparent
[ ]marshmallowmermaid 7 points 9 hours ago
:) I'm glad you got to connect.
permalinkparent
[ ]KitsBeach 4 points 5 hours ago
I just want to say that I recognize your name from other lady-oriented subs and
I thought you always seemed like a swell gal. This post cements that!
permalinkparent
[ ]diestate_enter 3 points 8 hours ago
Ask him how he came up with his username.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 32 points 7 hours ago
Are you talking about me? This is the name my kid gave to my dog. I think it is
the name of a dog on a kid show. I'm not a creative person, and the name always
reminds me of my daughter and makes me smile.
permalinkparent
continue this thread
[ ]aazav 14 points 9 hours ago
Ahhh. You look fine.
Glad you took the time to help peanut_butter_scotch out.
You did good.
permalinkparent
[ ]6F6A9O9 16 points 9 hours ago
I think you're real pretty on the inside and on the outside. What we call "all t
he way pretty". You're all the way pretty.
permalinkparent
[ ]GreenlyRose 7 points 7 hours ago
Don't be silly, you look lovely in those pics! :-)
permalinkparent
[ ]Pandibabi 18 points 10 hours ago
Wow u r beautiful .. from another heterosexual female btw dont want to sound cre
epy ok
permalinkparent
[ ]screaming-trees 14 points 10 hours ago
wow i love the great attidfue in this subreddit 10/10
permalinkparent
[ ]darkshy 6 points 8 hours ago
I mean, it could be worse. You look fine. You could actually look like a bloody
twat rag though. That would be terrible.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
In my defense I am wearing a lot of make up in those well mostly eye make up, th
ey were posted to makeupaddiction
permalinkparent
[ ]PushitClaw -2 points 6 hours ago
Just breathe...
permalinkparent
[ ]houseofbacon 12 points 11 hours ago
We must know if its a match. The suspense is thicker than my backup jar of peanu
t butter.
permalinkparent
[ ]Nozphexezora 10 points 11 hours ago
WooOOOooo. Lucky you! I've had a similar situation once, but about drug addictio
n. She never came back.

permalinkparent
[ ]BloodGuts_AngelCake 10 points 9 hours ago
I don't know why but this brought a tear to my eye. It's nice to see there are k
ind people in this world.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ask_Me_What_Love_Is 6 points 6 hours ago
Hey pbs. I'm not her nor a veteran but I've had my fair share of woes and work i
n the loma Linda area (redlands) and if you ever need someone to catch a smoke o
r talk with, grab a beer or lunch with I am here. Just pm me and let me know.
permalinkparent
[ ]kaleybrennan 4 points 8 hours ago
hey idk if you'll see this but you should do a full tutorial of how you did that
makeup. and show what kind you use <3
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 13 points 7 hours ago
I think this was directed at the wrong person.
permalinkparent
[ ]Call_me_Kelly [score hidden] 1 hour ago
If there is a vet center near you I highly recommend checking them out.
http://www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
They specialize in ptsd and reintigration. When the VA became impossible for me
to go to because the noise, the people, and many bad experiences caused me to ha
ve panic attacks any time I entered I began going to the vet center for ptsd hel
p instead.
The atmosphere at my local vet center was awesome. The counselor I saw also help
ed me by creating scripts of what I needed to say to my pdoc and would message h
er on my behalf occasionally.
Also I began teleconference appointments with my va pdoc from a local outpatient
VA clinic. I didn't have the stress of going back into the VA and it allowed me
to tweak and adjust my meds when needed.
If you have nightmares, talk to a pdoc about prazosin. It helps reduce the whole
waking up flooded with adrenalin from nightmares thing. http://www.webmd.com/ato-z-guides/prazosin-for-ptsd
Also, the va prescribed me Xanax for anxiety for two years. If it's prescribed l
ong term for you talk to your doc about longterm side effects. I became full blo
wn agorophobic on it and it took away a year of my life. Imagine my anger when I
learner the va was supposed to have moved away from prescribing it long term du
e to terrible side effects years BEFORE they prescribed it to me.
/r/veterans is a pretty cool subreddit if you've never been.
I so glad someone was able to give you a stepping stone towards healing. I keep
pictures of my kids in my wallet to help ground me during panic attacks. I also
highly recommend changing the immediate surroundings. Leave the room or building
when one starts and it can sometimes help reduce the damage.
Kelly
permalinkparent
[ ]lawdudette -2 points 6 hours ago
/r/bestof!!!!!!
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 12 points 6 hours ago
I hope not I can not handle the harassment I'm not logging in again this is it I
am done
permalinkparent
[ ]PM_ME_TITS_MLADY 12 points 4 hours ago
Sigh, the internet is for everyone. But that's precisely the reason why sometime
s it's not for everyone.
Reddit is one of those places.
I wish you all the best, focus on the positive, always. It'll help at times, I p
romise.
permalinkparent
[ ]CochinBrahmaLover 2 points 3 hours ago

You can delete your account.


Go to preferences and there's an option to delete.
permalinkparent
[+] (1 child)
[ ]Notasurgeon 30 points 11 hours ago
Hey, I was working there today. What a coincidence.
permalinkparent
[ ]jonnyk354 -4 points 6 hours ago
Can you confirm that this event occurred?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Read the post. Did not say it happened today. It happened at the beginning of th
e month.
permalinkparent
[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (4 children)
[ ]LoCHiF 22 points 10 hours ago
Gold is largely a donation to reddit. No-one really uses it.
permalinkparent
[ ]DarlinUntitled18 7 points 5 hours ago
I like to think of it somewhat symbolically, as in "Someone made a donation to R
eddit in your name!" sort of like, this comment, this person, or this content is
what I want to see on Reddit. People guild her because she is the kind of perso
n they want their user base to be, and they're proud to use the same website as
her.
permalinkparent
[ ]LoCHiF 3 points 2 hours ago
Agreed. It's a combination of a super emphatic upvote and the donation to reddit
as a sort of "yay reddit!" gesture.
permalinkparent
[ ]DiffidentDissident 9 points 10 hours ago
Hey, thanks for looking out for OP. I think that makes you pretty great.
permalinkparent
[ ]Drachte 17 points 11 hours ago
Op pls
permalinkparent
[ ]rightioushippie 7 points 8 hours ago
so what were the subreddits that helped you find coping mechanisms?
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 11 points 8 hours ago
Twox, actually. I had made a post a while ago about being trigger by a video I s
aw of animal abuse that triggered flashbacks from sexual abuse in my childhood a
nd a lot of people gave me grounding tips.
permalinkparent
[ ]King_Penguin_IV [score hidden] 49 minutes ago
What grounding tips helped you the most?
permalinkparent
[ ]wibblywobblychilango 5 points 10 hours ago
Holy shit, things like this are why I love reddit so much! :D
permalinkparent
[ ]monkeiboi 8 points 10 hours ago
ignore her! Everyone gild her!
permalinkparent
[ ]MultiversEngineer 3 points 2 hours ago
Air Force vet here. I have PTSD with panic disorder.
This post is amazing to me. I can appreciate anyone who helps their fellow vets.
I am still in the process of gaining control over my own panic problems. Any ad
vice would be greatly appreciated.
PS: I am currently in school and was also diagnosed with ADD recently. The last
two years have just been a wreck.
permalinkparent

[ ]Defeat 3 points 4 hours ago


Hey there. If it makes you feel better: reddit runs very few ads. Criminally few
. This site was hemorrhaging money, and it probably still is. A few years ago (h
onestly I can't remember reddit time just sort of blurs together for me) reddit
was plagued by serve issues. Nothing would work or load. Then some genius invent
ed reddit gold. Or maybe it was mold first. Either way reddit was saved. Gold is
a donation more to the site we all mooch off of, and is definitely not a reward
for you being amazing. Also panic attacks fucking suck so thank you for helping
that guy out .
permalinkparent
[ ]MrFeles [score hidden] 58 minutes ago
Goddamnit. Read story, imagine some sort of fancy saint. Man calls out to the cr
owd, will she reveal herself?
Blood twat rag emerges.
What a strange mixture of emotions.
Also slightly relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2CWsqGFgkA
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey -2 points 7 hours ago
Weird, I guess you live in Riverside? What are the odds you would live in the sa
me county as myself.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 2 points 6 hours ago
Well, seeing that the Loma Linda VA is used by both Riverside and San Bernardino
Counties, and considering how vast both of those counties are, plus people from
other counties who use that VA because they do not want to go to the others in
LA Jolla or Long Beach due to distance or whatever reasons, it is not so unlikel
y.
permalinkparent
[ ]dubyawinfrey 4 points 6 hours ago
Well, even though I'm technically a veteran now, I've never had a reason to visi
t the VA and fortunately do not have any problems with PTSD or anything of that
nature. (Depression, but nothing related to my time in).
Plus, I just moved here, so I thought that was interesting.
Either way, best of luck to you. I'm sorry your time in had some truly shitty mo
ments, for lack of a better phrase. I'm sure you're aware, but most of us are ag
ainst that shit. At least, I hope.
permalinkparent
[+]apologies-in-advance comment score below threshold (0 children)
[ ]Walkingonadream7 -1 points 3 hours ago
You can use it to buy some wax for your cross
permalinkparent
[+] (6 children)
[ ]RediscoveredIllusion 53 points 12 hours ago
I have PTSD as well, from abuse situations like so many others here. I am so gla
d someone came along to help you cope. I had forgotten about grounding myself th
is way and reading your post for her... Well, whomever she is, if she finds this
, thank you from me as well.
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[ ]Ivyleaguehandjob 185 points 13 hours ago
My father is a Korean War vet. We sat watching TV and the (new) Wounded Warrior
Project donation commercial comes on and my dad gets very angry. These commercia
ls are on par if not emotionally worse than the starving children and beaten dog
commercials.
We have done something very wrong to our veterans. There should be no need for c
harities like this. NO charities targeting veterans in need of food, clothing, s
helter, education, job training and more.
WWP Purpose:
To raise awareness and enlist the public's aid for the needs of injured service
members.
My father says "NO, that's our governments job, our employer!"

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[ ]athingz 39 points 11 hours ago*
job training and more.
As an Iraq veteran that can't even seem to get a job interview at Walmart, I'm s
tarting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm not sure I have PTSD from my service, but about 8 years later when I finally
went in to a sliding scale clinic for depression symptoms and inability to conc
entrate/study (failing school), they called it "survivor's guilt". I wish it was
my truck that got hit. I volunteered for every convoy after that. Never heard o
f survivor's guilt until I was out for 8 years.
Never used the VA before. Not even sure where to start or where they're located.
I just learned a couple months ago you don't have to be a 20 year vet or have a
disability % to qualify, apparently. All third-hand knowledge. I thought you co
uld only use them for stuff that happened while in, and there's no proof of anyt
hing health related on military record. I've seen my folder right before ETS.
permalinkparent
[ ]peanut_butter_scotch[S] 39 points 10 hours ago
You can use the VA for medical care, even if you do not have a disability claim.
You just need to have served 180 days active service. Go to a local VA with you
r 214 and fill out some paperwork, you can usually be seen right away.
permalinkparent
[ ]panthera213 8 points 9 hours ago
Does your VA offer the chance to look at having service animals? My boyfriend is
in the CF and some of the guys here have gotten service animals to help them wi
th their PTSD. I know that it's been a comfort to them, or at least maybe anothe
r avenue to explore to help you out. Hope you are feeling better.
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[ ]IT_is_not_all_I_am 10 points 8 hours ago
Yeah, I know a guy that breeds and trains dogs for Rebuilding Warriors. I know h
e's trained them for folks with PTSD, but no idea how that organization selects
recipients. Might be worth looking into.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 6 points 8 hours ago
Or, find someone that gets rescue dogs and trains them instead of dogs that were
bred just for.
permalinkparent
[ ]asianfromamerica 1 point 6 hours ago
SO ARE YOU THE WOMAN THAT HELPED THIS MAN? You are amazing I hope you realize th
at.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 1 point 5 hours ago
No. I'm not. I'm average at best.
permalinkparent
[ ]darkangl187 7 points 8 hours ago
the VA is for those who served and discharged honorably, service connection or n
ot. please check them out it sounds like you need to consider service connection
for your survivors guilt.
permalinkparent
[ ]bloody_twat_rag 7 points 8 hours ago
Not just an honorable discharge. As long as you did not receive a dishonorable.
General, GUH, etc are accepted.
permalinkparent
[ ]Yeynna 4 points 6 hours ago
I'm starting to think I need to go full-on homeless before people will care.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's the same for the unemployed, disable
d, and homeless who aren't veterans in the US (or anywhere else, I'm not America
n), I don't know what to say about everything else you faced because I can't ima
gine what living through it is like, but I want to say that no matter how much i
t seems like if you were suffering in the "right" way people would care more it'
s not true, it seems that way for everyone, but we're not alone in the facing th

is, and it's not your fault people are dismissing and scornful.
permalinkparent
[ ]Lots42 3 points 5 hours ago
www.211.org has lots of resourves for mental, physical and related help. Easy to
find lots and lots of stuff.
permalinkparent
[ ]preflop 3 points 2 hours ago
Hours late, but if you're having trouble getting things arranged, put in a call
to your local congressional office. You'll probably be assigned to a constituent
casework person and they'll put you in touch with who you need to talk to and w
here you need to go.
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[ ]mmm_toasty 19 points 12 hours ago
Hopefully at some point in the future the laws and regulations regarding providi
ng aid of all kinds to veterans in need will be fixed. For now though, as ways o
f acquiring the funding that the government fails to provide, I think that they
serve an important purpose.
permalinkparent
[ ]pmmesomeavocado 16 points 12 hours ago
The problem is that to do that, you need to raise taxes. And if you do that, you
're a freedom hating commie.
permalinkparent
[ ]bouncer4819 19 points 11 hours ago
Or we could just cut from our extremely overfunded defense budget, and reallocat
e those funds to actually help our vets
permalinkparent
[ ]vuhleeitee 0 points 4 hours ago
Yes. We should fire a whole bunch of people that are a few years away from retir
ement anyway. That makes complete sense.
You do realize that cutting the defense budget just means that it will create mo
re veterans who are at a loss for a stable source of income.
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[ ]tiehunter 3 points 4 hours ago
Or... Instead of buying jets that the military neither needs nor wants, we could
spend that money on veterans.
permalinkparent
[ ]athennna 8 points 11 hours ago
Or you need to better budget the tax revenue you already have.
permalinkparent
[ ]QuelqueChoseRose 0 points 2 hours ago
My understanding is that the V.A.'s fairly well-funded, nowadays. Relative to th
e rest of the federal government, at least. (Its funding's increased in years wh
en even Defense's was cut.) The problem's entirely administrative. It's a bureau
cratic nightmare, and no one's been able to solve it.
I think if a presidential candidate ran on a platform of simply making the feder
al government more efficient, they'd win easily. All the bickering about taxes a
nd spending, and we're still incredibly bad at doing what we want with the money
we tax and spend.
permalinkparent
[ ]hyene 9 points 11 hours ago
no, we don't need to raise taxes. we need to move from mathematically-illogical
capitalism to a scientifically-managed resource-based economy.
permalinkparent
[ ]Ruste 1 point 10 hours ago
Honestly curious, why should the government ever provide a service that is alrea
dy provided for by charities. Why force everyone to pay for something that peopl
e already give willingly to assuming that they provide enough. (I know they don'
t but according to OP there should be NO need for these charities as if it shoul
d be taken care of by the government regardless.)
permalinkparent

[ ]ggqq 7 points 10 hours ago


because there is a fine line we need to skate as a society between socialism and
capitalism to keep the employable people happy. If the government paid for ever
ything, we'd have incredibly high tax. This discourages people from working too
hard with tax brackets so you end up with nobody earning that much and an even h
igher tax because less people earn lots. What we need to do is convince rich peo
ple to be charitable (or rather, just tell rich people to give their money away
for free. I just solved the economic crisis. boom. you're welcome)
permalinkparent
[ ]Otto_Lidenbrock 6 points 9 hours ago
Except that tax brackets have never stopped anyone from making more money. Compl
ain about it, sure... But they still take the raise. It's a patently false argum
ent.
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[ ]undsowbe 10 points 8 hours ago
Your father as a Korean War Veteran would not qualify for the WWP program. Only
post 9/11 Vets qualify. Even at the VA, there are programs that my Vietnam-era h
usband does not qualify for (acupuncture being the most recent). The docs there
want the prestige and kudos that comes from treating recent Vets. It's the same
with the WWP. They know they can rake in the bucks if they play on public sentim
ent for post 9/11 Vets.
Never before have Veterans been excluded from programs based on the era they ser
ved in, until now.
TLDR: Fuck the WWP
permalinkparent
[ ]DrTypo 8 points 7 hours ago
WWP is also something that is wrong. Google wounded warrior project scam, and lo
ok at how much of the money that they collect actually goes to vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 160 points 14 hours ago
That is very sweet and I hope she sees this too! Best of luck on your journey an
d I am so sorry that as a nation we do so little for you and the other veterans.
Our system (what parts are not a clusterfuck) is frustrating at best and I am g
lad you find the courage every day to get up and navigate the system and your sy
mptoms, rather than letting the circumstances win. Hope she sees this! :)
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[ ]mantiskiller 18 points 13 hours ago
I have very little knowledge of what the opportunities available for veterans bu
t always hear that it is inadequate. What improvements do you think the governme
nt could make?
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 29 points 12 hours ago
Well, (I'm assuming you are in the US) the system is just not streamlined and po
orly funded. You go for mental health help, there is no extra or quick he for pe
ople coming in while in crisis. Most get the same wait time as others. You go, y
ou sign up, and then you wait. Some people 6-8 weeks to be seen for someone who
sees you for 10 minutes to determine the meds you need and whether or not therap
y will help. Never mind med changes, trying to get refills. And you can forget h
ousing if you are homeless. Most VA houses/shelters are 30-50 beds and have wait
ing lists a mile long. We have homeless populations of mentally ill veterans who
, with the right meds and a few months of meals and a roof over their head would
be able to work some and get back on their feet. It's just a very broken, poorl
y funded, slow moving system and we as a country should be ashamed of ourselves.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster -3 points 12 hours ago
And you can forget housing if you are homeless.
That's why there is a pension program to give money to those that need it.
permalinkparent
[ ]athwartthelotus 16 points 12 hours ago
Yeah, but in some cases the money isn't enough or the application process is too

long and they are homeless before they get the money. Most homeless vets get mo
ney, its just not enough to live on and they aren't able to hold a job because t
hey can't get enough services to help their PTSD and resulting addictions. I was
a case worker for a veterans program for a year. I only lasted a year. It was t
he worst. The suicide rates, filling out paper work and seeing them be desperate
and only being able to say, 'well, I submitted it. we just have to wait.', not
having housing for them so at 5pm after hours of calling they were back out to w
ander another night on the streets. Ugh, I felt awful.
permalinkparent
[ ]endergrrl 21 points 12 hours ago
The pension program is only for vets with wartime service. Peacetime vets don't
have this fallback. Additionally, pension is only for those determined disabled.
There are some newer programs to combat homelessness for vets, but they depend
on location.
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[ ]Evil__Toaster 2 points 11 hours ago*
I'm just saying there is something, many people make it sound like there is no e
ffort at all. Homeless cases are a high priority. You sound like a VSR or VSO?
oh, ok, downvote me for thinking somebody sounds incredibly knowledgeable.
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[ ]endergrrl 12 points 11 hours ago
No. I'm a Legal Aid attorney who specializes in vets.
permalinkparent
[ ]Evil__Toaster 5 points 11 hours ago
Awesome. Nice to meet you.
permalinkparent
[ ]Sulde 37 points 12 hours ago
upvote for visibility.
and dude: when you are going through hell, keep on going. Never never never give
up.
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[ ]endergrrl 36 points 12 hours ago
Female army vet here, though not the one you're looking for. Which VAMC were you
at? I'm glad someone helped you through that and that you found a safe and help
ful space here.
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[ ]crouchtouchpause 32 points 12 hours ago
This is a beautiful post. All I can offer is that it does get better, and that a
nyone capable of writing such an emotionally honest post has already crossed mor
e bridges that most manage in a lifetime.
I hope she reads what you've written, but even if she doesn't you should know th
at many people have understood the sentiment and been moved by it.
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[ ]mablesyrup 9 points 11 hours ago
Posts like this prove why today is the best monday of the year!
permalinkparent
[ ]Tonyman457 12 points 9 hours ago
This post has everything. The tragedy. The cry for help. The rocky montage at th
e VA where everything gets slightly better, but he looses his mentor somewhere.
Then, BAM! they rekindle!
The cherry on top is that her fuckin reddit ID is Bloody Twat Rag. Hits you with
the feels, then brings you back with some good ol' fashioned dark humor.
Most novels aren't this good.
permalinkparent
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
I read this in Stefon's voice :)
permalinkparent
[ ]Edrondol 33 points 6 hours ago
Marine vet here. No PTSD unless you count flashbacks of sitting in a storeroom f
or hours. But I wanted to pop in and say don't sweat the haters. Most of them ar

e just stupid kids trying to be edgy. The rest are assholes because they are ano
nymous and it's how they get their jollies. Just like the military, reddit has g
ood people and reddit has dicks. Unlike the military, you can completely ignore
the dicks here.
Don't know what branch you were in (I didn't read through everything), but I'm g
iving you a big Semper Fi anyway. Stay strong, brother.
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[ ]spookyxskepticism 16 points 11 hours ago
Aaaaand I'm in tears. I'm so glad she was able to help you. Here's an upvote. Ho
pefully with enough of these she'll take notice and see your post! I'm so glad t
hat your experience has helped you on to the path of healing. Thank you so much
for your service <3
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[ ]scarletdrive 3 points 9 hours ago
I needed a good cry today. Bless this post.
permalinkparent
[ ]faeriechyld 16 points 12 hours ago
I hope she gets your message of thanks even if she wants to remain anonymous. An
d I really really hope you start feeling better too. I wish I could do more than
offer internet hugs!
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[ ]schweppesmeoffmyfeet 32 points 13 hours ago
This is why I love Reddit.
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[ ]mightyflynn 14 points 12 hours ago
This is beautiful. I hope you are finding your ground.
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[ ]anniebme 13 points 11 hours ago
Hi friend! I find having a smooth stone in my pocket helps. The stone reminds me
of chilling next to a river. I hope you find your mini-reminder, too!
I have found EMDR therapy rough to go through but helpful to process thoughts an
d memories. It may help you, too. It won't be easy but neither is what you are c
urrently dealing with.
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[ ]BaronessUnderboob 11 points 8 hours ago
I use a piece of hematite sometimes, the weight feels nice in my hands. Though I
don't subscribe to that healing crystals stuff, I just like shiny rocks.
permalinkparent
[ ]anniebme 8 points 8 hours ago
Sounds like a great reminder to just be! Heavy enough to remind, light enough to
carry! Hematite just looks cool, too.
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[ ]DancingHeel 12 points 9 hours ago
I'm not her, but reading this has made me smile. I get down about working at VA
a lot - the bureaucracy and paperwork (and the sexual harassment from older Vets
) are really pushing me out the door. But I like the people I work with, and I k
now they really care about the wellbeing of Veterans. This is a great example of
that. Whether she was an employee or just a fellow Vet receiving services, ther
e are definitely good people in that crazy system.
To anyone else out there struggling with PTSD, other mental health concerns, or
service-related health issues - there is hope. Even when the VA gets horrible pr
ess, even when claims are backlogged - there are good people who want to help an
d are well-equipped to do so. If you haven't sought any help at the VA but you m
ight qualify for services, it's worth a shot. Don't give up. Every VA is, unfort
unately, very different in terms of quality. Shop around if you need to. It real
ly sucks that that's the way it is, because Veterans deserve better care. Govern
ment funding of Veteran services is extremely poor. But I have seen the efforts
of good people help change the system, slowly, from the inside.
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[ ]paulb02 9 points 10 hours ago

This is a great story and I am happy you were able to find one of the good peopl
e at the VA. There is a lot of VA bashing and I understand it is not the best si
tuation for veterans, but some people at the VA do truly care about the Veterans
and their treatment and benefits. While my wife was not a vet herself, she work
s in the Comp and Pension section and deals primarily with the veterans via the
claims process. The Veterans rarely know the person behind the claim but she doe
s go that extra step whenever possible to ensure the claims are not jacked up.
permalink
[ ]TurdFergusonTheThird 10 points 9 hours ago
This post motivated me to join reddit. Long time listener first time poster here
.. Thanks for the energy.
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[ ]TheRealFJ 15 points 6 hours ago
Dude please don't let the ass holes turn you away from Reddit. I get shit all th
e time for the smallest shit here but you need to know that those people are onl
y here to be mean...like the comments on YouTube.
permalink
[ ]Sector_805 23 points 11 hours ago
As a female who has served, I love this and hope she reads this.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 4 points 9 hours ago
Thank you for your service, ma'am
permalinkparent
[ ]Bm1324 13 points 12 hours ago
Wow, I hope you are able to find her. As someone with PTSD, I find that even a l
ot of well-meaning people don't know what to say or do when I'm triggered or in
a difficult place. They do their best to use methods that they've seen or say th
ings like "It'll be alright," which aren't much help at the moment and too dista
nt for me to connect to. I like that she was real and helped to put you back int
o reality by grounding you in the current place and time. I'll have to remember
this as well :)
permalink
[ ]izzgo 24 points 13 hours ago
Upvoted so maybe she has a better chance to see this.
permalink
[ ]supersayanftw 5 points 12 hours ago
Please update, best of luck to you
permalink
[ ]devoted2mercury 7 points 12 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she sees this; Reddit is awesome.
permalink
[ ]Clayra 7 points 11 hours ago
I know first hand how trying it can be getting treatment from the VA. I sometime
s find that it's easier to go to one of the help desks and ask them to walk you
to wherever you want to go. It won't get you put to the front of the line, but I
've found that things tend to move more smoothly.
Like so much of government work it's just a big good-ole-boys club, and there's
a good chance that anyone working there has to at the very least be friendly wit
h everyone else if they have any hopes of staying.
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[ ]BareKnuckleKitty 7 points 11 hours ago
This is so beautiful. Thank you for your service. I really hope she sees this!
permalink
[ ]petit_cochon 6 points 11 hours ago
Hey buddy, so glad this subreddit has helped you, and I hope it continues to hel
p you as you recover and heal.
permalink
[ ]nomoredolls 6 points 11 hours ago
OP, thank you for your service and sacrifice. Thanks also to the VA mystery woma
n for her service and sacrifice.

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[ ]nerak1138 6 points 11 hours ago
Upvoted. I hope she finds this, but even if she doesn't, she surely knows that s
he made a difference that day. Pay it forward, man. And keep your chin up. Lots
of love to you and all veterans.
permalink
[ ]GimmeMuchosMangos 8 points 11 hours ago
Good luck to you.
permalink
[ ]saraleecupcake 7 points 11 hours ago
Best of luck
permalink
[ ]theBIGnaudd 7 points 10 hours ago
Keep your head up brother! Look for a support group. The VA has resources and ca
n help find you a group to join. Stay strong! There are so many people out there
who care and want to help you out with your experiences.
permalink
[ ]rogue780 6 points 10 hours ago
/r/veterans has some good resources as well
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[ ]SuperChubbs 7 points 8 hours ago
This is really special. I served on a submarine for 4 years getting out in 2012
and I had a hard time readjusting. PTSD and depression combined with feeling lik
e I never related to many other veterans because I served in a different environ
ment then most.
I know it isn't easy to help someone going through PTSD or a panic attack but i'
ve had a few people really come through for me when I needed it and I don't know
where i'd be if they hadn't. Now my life is so much brighter. :) Thank you so m
uch for stepping up and helping that guy, people like you are wonderful.
permalink
[ ]somegaychick 2 points 4 hours ago
I cant even begin to imagine what its like. Thank you for your service. <3
permalinkparent
[ ]SuperChubbs 1 point 3 hours ago
Thank you so much, it used to make me uncomfortable hearing that but it's kinda
nice now that i'm doing so much better :) You made my night.
permalinkparent
[ ]kawaii-throwaway 6 points 8 hours ago
This entire post v was beautiful beginning to end.
My ptsd is considered in remission but I still wear patchouli pull to remind me
of my grandmother. I also have a lyric from one of my favorite songs on my wrist
. Seeing the message (be patient) itself keeps me grounded but being reminded of
the song takes me back to awe inspiring memories that snap me right out of an e
pisode.
It's a magical feeling when you finally find coping mechanisms that actually hel
p. Every moment before that feels like a constant waking nightmare, a landmine o
f triggers, but once you find what works, it's as if a weight is lifted from you
.
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[ ]Milagro_chef 21 points 13 hours ago
I have PTSD. Her definition is exact correct. Thank you.
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[ ]I_require_answers 10 points 10 hours ago
It's disappointing, and sadly unsurprising, that none of the professionals you w
orked with at the VA taught you some grounding skills, I mean that's really trau
ma therapy 101. It makes me sad our vets don't get better treatment than that. A
nyway, glad you guys found each other, and thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]baconchief 5 points 10 hours ago
Thank you for your service Sir! I hope you regain control of your life and can l

ive on happily! Much respect.


permalink
[ ]nocomfychairs 6 points 9 hours ago
Thank you both for your service.
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[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]big4143 6 points 8 hours ago
Thank you for your service, first and foremost. I am glad to hear you had a posi
tive outcome. There are still some good people out there in the world believe it
or not.
Take care friend...
permalink
[ ]Hippiemamklp 5 points 8 hours ago
This made me tear up. I am sending huge cyber hugs to both of you! Sometimes hel
p comes in the most unlikely ways:-) Glad you are both getting help and I hope h
ealing.
permalink
[ ]ilokaners 6 points 7 hours ago
That's great. I wish you the best in healing. Sorry the VA doesn't help as much
as it should. I wish it would change but people like you and your friend are an
inspiration. Thanks for your service.
permalink
[ ]squirtsmilk 5 points 7 hours ago
Thank you to our vets.. And to kind and compassionate people .... They make the
world safe for us all.
permalink
[ ]Noculum 7 points 6 hours ago
This warmed my heart. What a lovely story.
permalink
[ ]MonkeyNacho 7 points 6 hours ago
Thank you both for your service. I hope she, and the rest of us here on Reddit,
can help you find a road to inner peace.
permalink
[ ]Lots42 17 points 6 hours ago
You're on a woman-friendly sub-reddit that ended up on /r/all. That's why there'
s some negativity floating to the surface. /r/all is full of jackasses who can't
deal with the fact woman-friendly sub-reddits exist.
Or that women exist.
permalink
[ ]chocobodanger 8 points 7 hours ago
I have PTSD as well from rape. I have been diagnosed but the "system" here has f
ailed me by not getting me treatment needed (saw a counselor, put on depression/
anxiety meds, told I would have therapy and have not seen another counselor sinc
e?) You inadvertently helped me cope just by posting what she had told you.
permalink
[ ]txdahlia 10 points 6 hours ago
Unfortunately social media can bring out the dark side of those to impotent to s
how it in their daily lives because they fear repercussions, so they use an anon
ymous faceless version of themselves and pretend to be a bad ass. You are worthy
of happiness and peace after your great sacrifice. Don't let others put you dow
n.
permalink
[ ]dftexas165 5 points 9 hours ago
Yaaaay! The power of reddit. Glad you found her! I appreciate your service too b
uddy. I really hope you learn how to deal with you're issues brought on by your

experiences at war.
permalink
[ ]lotsofsippycups 4 points 9 hours ago
Aww I'm so glad you found her! :)
permalink
[ ]Ammoholic 3 points 8 hours ago
My dad is a doctor who treats ptsd at that va. Ask to see Dr goldstein. He will
help you for sure!
permalink
[ ]soitgoes182 4 points 8 hours ago
This is fucking beautiful!!
permalink
[ ]liesforliars 4 points 7 hours ago
I'm so happy you found her, man !! The internet can be wonderful..
permalink
[ ]dontdid 5 points 7 hours ago
This is so touching. Thank you both for your service and compassion. I hope you
find relief from what haunts you.
permalink
[ ]TheRainMonster 4 points 7 hours ago
Scotch tastes like peanut butter to you, too?
permalink
[ ]Soxbee 5 points 7 hours ago
It's amazing how one person can really make a difference! I'm so glad you found
her again!
My heart goes out to all of the veterans. I want to hug you all and offer any su
pport I can for what you've been through.
permalink
[ ]jschlik 3 points 6 hours ago*
Glad you found her. Thanks for the humbling and inspiring post.
I dont know if anyone has already mentioned this but Vital Warrior (vitalwarrior
.org) could be a great resource for those suffering from mental illness. I reall
y like what they are doing to help Vets.
permalink
[ ]_Rootshell_ 13 points 11 hours ago
Peanut butter scotch, meet bloody twat rag. A match made in heaven.
permalink
[ ]Upam 8 points 11 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection, if this gets enough upvotes and stays on the m
ain page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story. Best of luck to
the op
permalink
[ ]aazav 4 points 9 hours ago
Be good man, be good.
permalink
[ ]cannedbread1 3 points 2 hours ago
I am so glad that there was a lifeline out there for you at the perfect time. I
am so very sad for negative comments you are getting. Some people truly are arse
hats.
permalink
[ ]TabulaRasaNot [score hidden] 33 minutes ago
You folks with the negative comments to which OP refers, the ones pushing him ba
ck into himself, shame on you. You make me wish karma was real.
permalink
[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 8 points 13 hours ago
Upboats
permalink
[ ]saralt 5 points 11 hours ago
And many more boats.
permalinkparent

[ ]NeiliusAntitribu 3 points 7 hours ago


best part is they found each other :)
permalinkparent
[ ]theclassywino 4 points 7 hours ago
You're a hero, best of luck to you. Thank you for serving.
permalink
[ ]ArcheryHunter4Life 4 points 5 hours ago
I just wanted to say thank you for stepping up and posting this, it is so touchi
ng. It is incredibly brave of you and I'm sorry for all that you've been through
and for all of the rude people on this site. I will probably never experience w
hat you have been through. I hope you find yourself healed and happy in the futu
re. Most especially, thank you for your service.
permalink
[ ]Code_NY [score hidden] 1 hour ago
I'm sorry you've had to read through negative responses to this post. It's the d
ownside of open forum on the Internet. Just let them wash over you and concentra
te on the good ones, which are plentiful.
I hope things get better for you soon and I'm glad you've managed to reconnect w
ith her :)
permalink
[ ]CrackpotPatriot [score hidden] 34 minutes ago
Takes a lot of courage to reach out a thank you on the interwebz -especially red
dit. Well done. Thank yous are just too rare in this world.
permalink
[ ]NejKidd 6 points 12 hours ago
Can't wait to see the response on /r/bestof
permalink
[ ]Honkbag 10 points 11 hours ago
Not to be "that guy" in an otherwise supportive thread, but breathing/mindfulnes
s meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therapies for panic attack
s. That's science. that's why the counselors likely repeated it.
Im sorry you didnt feel heard, OP, and the psychological empathy With someone pe
rceived/identified as previously traumatized now wise and mentoring seems helpfu
l to you. Also, the act of smoking mimics controlled breathing which contrasts w
ith either the feeling of suffocation or hyperventilation in panic. The peer sim
ply stated things in a different way that resonated based on shared experience.
That also is important...oftentimes people in therapy perceive that therapists "
don't understand" what they've been through, and therefore arent able to help th
em because they havent been through "the same thing". Fact is, even two people i
n the same fight wont experience the situation exactly the same. But that's not
the point. The point is that In addition to wanting to feel understood, OP, you
needed to know you're not alone, and you needed to see someone actively coping a
nd recovering.
Do what works for you OP...but try not to throw the baby out with the bath water
. You may have valid reasons for anger at the VA (and what psychological role th
ey play in the trauma experience) but those techniques are indeed helpful with c
ontinued practice. Maybe it just needed to be explained differently or in more d
epth (other than "just breathe"...which may come across as dismissive). use all
the resources (however limited) you have at your disposal and let your therapst
know what makes you mad.
Good luck.
permalink
[ ]waitwuh 16 points 9 hours ago
breathing/mindfulness meditation is one of the preferred, evidenced based therap
ies for panic attacks
Perhaps the little trinket or "reminder" is more helpful to mindfulness than jus
t telling somebody to breath.
permalinkparent
[ ]notteoscura 9 points 9 hours ago
I think the clutch is that she could meet him on his level of breathing alone no

t being enough. Some people can breathe their way out of a panic attack. Others
can't. But yes, science does show breathing to be beneficial.
permalinkparent
[ ]3jt 10 points 6 hours ago
Mindful breathing is a grounding technique. However, therapists usually don't te
ll you that, and if they do they don't emphasize the "why". They just say to bre
athe. If you're hyperventilating, and someone says "breathe", that's fucking stu
pid. What is helpful is to focus on something other than the fact that you're ha
ving a panic attack. Ritual activities like cigarette smoking are helpful. So is
mindful breathing. It's the mindful part that helps.
permalinkparent
[ ]PurpleMentat [score hidden] 1 hour ago
So much this. Breathing without grounding is pointless. Grounding is the point o
f slow, deep, fully exhaled breathing.
permalinkparent
[ ]Launchfit 3 points 8 hours ago
You may not even see this comment, but I highly recommend you try using medical
marijuana to help treat your PTSD. I'm not here trying to persuade you to try a
drug you may not have any knowledge of, but in my experience, it has had a treme
ndous benefit to veterans with PTSD. My brother served in Iraq for 3 years and r
eturned home with severe PTSD. After countless weeks of taking drugs that had no
real benefit whatsoever, he tried medical marijuana. Ever since he indulged in
weed, his condition has improved substantially and his PTSD symptoms seem to les
sen every day. Again, weed isn't for everyone and I'm not sitting here telling y
ou it's a magical drug that will completely cure you. I'm simply suggesting some
thing that could be of great use to you and potentially benefit you. Best of luc
k, and thank you for serving our country.
permalink
[ ]persnipboobiees 3 points 8 hours ago
Reddit will make this connection.. if this gets enough upvotes + stays on the ma
in page, some news agencies will prolly even pick up the story: best of luck to
the op.
permalink
[ ]LaughingJackass 2 points 5 hours ago
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Wanted to say just this.
permalink
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ]LadyLavaLamp -4 points 10 hours ago
bloody_twat_rag and peanut_butter_scotch forever! I SHIP IT
permalink
[+] (13 children)
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 50 minutes ago
I am a vet as well and im going through similar issues but one of your comments
is a little out of line.
" She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good chance she had been raped
."
Thats B/S, sorry to be the negative one in the party.
Thats like saying "Every wife of a soldier that stayed near base cheated on thei
r husband while they were deployed because all women are scandalous."
Obviously not true,
Just because its the army doesn't make them rapist and baby killers.
Please understand im not harassing you. Thats the kind of blanket statement that
could set others off, like me and my response....
permalink
[ ]Commando_Girl [score hidden] 36 minutes ago
Ummmm. There's a big difference between "good chance" and "every".
You have issues if you really don't see the difference between the two.
permalinkparent
[ ]codemasterv [score hidden] 31 minutes ago

Right but my point is both statements are false.


permalinkparent
[ ] 9 hours ago
[ ] 8 hours ago
[ ] 7 hours ago
[+] (7 children)
[+] (15 children)
[ ] 2 hours ago
[ ]heatheranne[M] [score hidden] 1 hour ago
Be nice or go away.
permalink
[+] (2 children)
[+]Lonsdaleite comment score below threshold (1 child)
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[+]jonnyk354 comment score below threshold (6 children)
[+] (10 children)
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Looking for a woman who helped me very much at the VA. Please read./r/all (self.
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submitted 14 hours ago * by peanut_butter_scotch
I am a male, and a combat veteran. I was doing well mentally for a while, under
the care of doctors and taking medication for PTSD and depression. One day, I we
nt to the VA to see my doctor and pick up meds. I was not doing well, a divorce
and financial problems had triggered my PTSD. And the VA was very crowded that d
ay. I was just trying to get meds at the pharmacy so I could go hone, but it was
so packed full of people and everyone was so rude and loud that I was having a
full on panic attack. I sat against a wall, shaking and in tears. Then, she stoo
d next to me.
She asked me when I got back. Fellow veterans always can tell when someone is fr
esh from the combat zone, and I know I appeared that way. I told her I had been
back for a few years but I was not doing well. And I just broke down. She listen
ed as I vented about the clusterfuck of rude people, and how I could not calm do
wn. I said, "I know, I am just supposed to fucking breathe, right?" That is what
the counselors at the VA always said. Just breathe, it will be okay.
"No." She said. "That is fucking pointless. Breathing will not help you right no
w. You are having a present reaction to a problem from the past. Right now, you
need to ground yourself and get out of the fear loop so you can calm down and be
gin to relax."
I asked, how do I do that? She told me about how everyone has something differen
t to ground them. Something comforting, something that triggers endorphins and h
appy memories. She said, she has a bottle of clove extract in her pocket, the sm
ell reminds her of her grandmother.
I began thinking of what I could use. She asked me if I wanted to go have a smok
e with her outside, and I did, so we went to the smoking gazebo. I asked her whe
re she learned these things that she was telling me about, no one ever understoo
d and gave me tips that helped.
Then she told me about reddit. And about a few subs that are primarily for women
, to discuss anything, and a lot of women talked about these coping skills to co
pe after rape and domestic violence. I felt sad suddenly, and thought of the rap
e problem in the military. She had been in the army, so I knew there was a good
chance she had been raped. As she spoke, I thought of how bad she had it. Not on
ly did she have PTSD like me and so many other men do, but she had PTSD from get
ting raped by the very men that were supposed to have her back.
She told me about the online community that helps her more than the stupid group
therapy we all had to go to. So I have lurked on reddit for a while. But I want
ed to reach out and thank her, but no idea what her username is. I know she freq
uents subs like this that are aimed at women, so I was hoping that maybe she wou
ld see this and would know how much it meant to me that she helped me. If anyone
here knows of a female veteran that frequents here, let me know.
Mysterious woman from the VA, thank you so much. You helped me find a path to he
aling. And I hope you find this.
Edit: I made this post then took a nap. I checked reddit on my phone and noticed
the very overwhelming response. Thank you, to everyone, for your support. And I

think I may have found her! My apologies for not respondingnto most of you, som
etimes I find even interacting with strangers online can be very anxiety inducin
g so I tend to steer clear, which is why I took so long to even make an account
on here. But I appreciate the kindness; I was not expecting to get this kind of
response. Thank you.
And final edit: well, found her. And, that is all. Being able to talk with her a
gain is great, and the positive response is nice, but the negative shit and the
insults being thrown and both her and I is very sad. I do not know why people mu
st hurt others when they are getting kind attention from others but I am told th
at is the way of Reddit. No, we will not be dating, she has a boyfriend which I
knew because he was there when I first met her. Tomorrow we are meeting for lunc
h, maybe she will post pics of it. I thought this would be fun and exciting but
with the negativity I am dreading even coming on reddit again. So, if she wants
to post pics tomorrow that will be up