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English 1108
7 March 2012
To Spank or Not to Spank, That is the Question
When my oldest son was 5 years old, he started hitting other kids and
his siblings when he was frustrated or mad. Nothing we tried seemed to get
him to stop. One day, after the third time he had hit his sister, out of
frustration, I snatched him up and spanked him. After I calmed down, I
questioned my decision to spank him. It seemed illogical to me that I had hit
him in order to teach him not to hit and I felt guilty for doing it. On top of
that, it had no affect whatsoever on the bad behavior, as he hit his sister
again that very same day. I had always been in favor of spanking but now I
was questioning its validity as a form of discipline, so I decided to do some
reading and found that there have been numerous discussions on spanking.
There is little gray area on the subject people are either for or against
spanking and each side is adamant about their position. Part of the problem
with spanking is that each group defines spanking differently. Some believe
spanking is a form of abuse, while others consider it a form of discipline
with most of the pro spankers citing the bible as their justification for
spanking. Spanking is engrained in our culture and many people were
themselves spanked as children. Consequently, this form of punishment has,
to some extent, become a cultural habit. People often say well, it was good
enough for me. Therefore, it seems that ignorance contributes to the

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continued use of corporal punishment as a form of correcting our children.

Corporal punishment is an ineffective disciplinary strategy that can have
long term negative repercussions that parents must be made aware of.
Spanking your child can teach aggressive behavior. Children often
learn by imitating those closest to them. They learn to do whatever their
parents do, good and bad alike. Children who grow up in a home that
frequently uses corporal punishment are more likely to grow up to use
violence as a way to settle conflict. Even children who have experienced
minimal spankings are almost three times as likely to seriously assault a
sibling, compared to children who were not physically disciplined (Hyman
97). When a parent spanks a child, especially if the spanking is out of anger
or it does not fit the offence, the child learns that hitting is an acceptable
way to deal with anger and frustration. Physical punishment is likely to teach
your child that it's alright to vent your anger or solve a conflict by hitting
other people.
It can be easy for an upset parent to escalate from spanking to
abusing. Studies have shown that spanking can escalate to abuse. When we
are angry or frustrated, it is easy for us to apply more force than we realize,
thus when a parent strikes a child out of anger or in a moment of frustration,
the force they apply may be more than what is rational. Even the most
conscientious parent can fall victim to escalation because as time goes on if
the spanking is not having the desired effect you may hit harder and harder.

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(Donnely 2005) writes The danger of beginning corporal punishment in the

first place is that you may feel you have to bring out bigger guns: your hand
becomes a fist, the switch becomes a belt, the folded newspaper becomes a
wooden spoon, and now what began as seemingly innocent escalates into
child abuse. You may feel you have to escalate to get your point across, or
that simply using your hand is not getting results, so there is a natural
tendency to escalate.
How children see themselves begins with how they perceive that
others, especially their parents, see them. Even in the most loving homes,
spanking sends a confusing message, especially to a child too young to
understand the reason for it. As parents, we spend a lot of time trying to
build up our childrens confidence and self worth, but when a child is
spanked he gets mixed signals. On one hand the child is praised and told he
is smart and good, but on the other hand he is being spanked which leads to
confusion. Physically disciplined children display depression, aggression and
suicidal thoughts more often than those that are not spanked. In addition,
these children typically will have poorer school performance and more antisocial behavior consistent with a lack of self worth. Spanking consistently
contributes to lowered self-esteem (Hyman 97). Children may not understand
the conflicting messages and at younger ages, lack the ability to question it.
There are far more effective methods of discipline besides spanking.
Parents like spanking because it produces immediate results, but it is not a

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good long term strategy. Studies demonstrate that eliminating punishment in

home or school does not increase unwanted behavior. Consistent use of
positive alternatives, however, has been shown to decrease misbehavior
significantly (Gordon 1991). Much of the literature in favor of spanking
suggests that you should never spank out of anger. This is good advice,
however if this principle is followed closely most spanking wouldn't occur,
because once the parent has calmed down he or she is likely to come up with
a less barbaric form of correction.
Countless studies show the uselessness of spanking as a disciplinary
method but, aside from religious teachings, very few show its helpfulness.
Study after study has shown that spanking is not the best way to discipline
your children. Spanking does not promote good behavior and, in fact, could
cause a rift in the relationship between a parent and child. Parents who rely
on spanking as their primary manner of discipline are cheating their children
as well as themselves. They do not learn to come up with better options,
which could help them learn what makes their child tick. When I spanked my
son, I noticed in the moments after a look of betrayal in his eyes. Instead of
fixing the bad behavior, I felt I had just introduced new problems. I still have
not completely written off spanking and I think there are special
circumstances, where if applied appropriately, it is still a viable option for
some people. Having said that, in the process of raising our children, my wife
and I have concluded that spanking doesn't work for us.

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Works Cited

Donnelly, Michael. Strauss, Murray A. Corporal Punishment of Children in

Theoretical
Perspective. New Haven, London Yale University Press, 2005.
Hyman, Irwin A. The Case Against Spanking: How to Discipline Your Child
Without Hitting.
Jossey-Bass, 1997.
Gordon, Thomas. Discipline That Works. Plume Penguin, 1991.