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Research indicates that there are some male-female differences in communication; however, such
data should be interpreted with caution (it doesn't fit everyone, and some of the findings are
contradictory; further any differences may not be the result of genetic factors, but differing
socialization processes):
1. Communication axioms related to gender
a. Content vs. relationship--Content is what we say, and relationship is how we say it; men focus
on more on content, women on relationship.
b. Punctuation; male/female communication can be seen as "cross cultural"--the sexes perceive
communication events different because live in different social-cultural worlds, partly due to
socialization (males and females are treated differently by parents, play different kinds of games-boys competitive, girls cooperative, etc.); also may be influenced by genetic factors (such as brain
differences which may exist--generally speaking, males are more spatial, females more verbal, etc.).
In education, this means that girls probably will do better at language use (reading, writing,
speaking, etc.). This may also explain why boys generally do better at math (although socialization
also plays a part)
c. Symmetrical/Complementary relationships--this concept refers to the balance of power--are
relationships equal or unequal. Either can be positive or negative. In the classroom, teachers must
have complementary relationships with students, but it is sometimes difficult for women to assert
authority (or for boys and men to recognize it). Peer relationships between men and women
traditionally have been complementary (male as leader, female as follower). The power hierarchy
in education reproduces this, with far more administrators being male than female. Because of this,
and also because of the different ways men and women approach friendship and collegiality, it is
sometimes difficult for men and women to be in a positive symmetrical relationship.
2. Communication differences between women and men (approximately 20 minutes).
Communication involves both a verbal code (language) and non-verbal codes. Language and nonverbal communication inevitably color how we see reality; indeed--we might claim that, for all
intents and purposes, it is our reality. It is very difficult, for example, to think of things without
having a language or other symbol for it (example--the term "sexual harassment").
a. Women's relationships are typically centered in conversation (females often prefer talking to
action even at an early age, according to research). Women together discuss more personal
matters, focusing on family, relationship problems, and men; there is a cultivation of
interpersonal intimacy through dialogue, sharing personal stories, etc.
b. Men's relationships are characterized by doing as a prerequisite (or substitute) for talking; men's
friendships often focus on activities, "having fun together," sometimes with instrumental goals
(e.g. building something together), other times just "hanging out." Men together seek comfortable
companionship (intimate in a different way than through continual dialogue; "side by side" rather
than women's "face to face"); men gain connection from an intermingling of lives through shared
activities, such as basketball, fishing, etc.
c. Women generally tend to be more interpersonally competent in their communication styles--to be
able to "take on the role of the other" (a measure of empathy), to be polite, to smooth the interaction
process, to be nice to others, to provide more "back channel cues" (attentiveness). In conversation,
especially with other women, women exhibit lower levels of dominance (more cooperative &
synergistic).
d. Women who don't fit the stereotype, who speak a lot (but still less than 50% of the time), and
who are serious (e.g. not smiling all the time) are viewed as rude and domineering by both men and
other women.
e. Men generally tend to be more communicative competent in the public sphere--to be more
assertive, to be more competitive, to argue, etc.
3. Patterns of male-female interaction--Rapport-talk vs. Report-talk
(from Deborah Tannen, You Just Don't Understand)
a. intimacy/independence (status)--Men seek independence and want to maintain status over others;
women seek intimacy (or connectedness). He may see her attempts to get close as suffocating or
constraining him. If she empathizes with his problems, he may see her as undermining his status.
b. advice/support--Men want to fix problems while women just want supportive empathy. Example
from Gray)--she says "I'm so tired--I just want to forget everything about"; he responds "If you
don't like your job, then quit."
c. information/feelings (lecture/listening) --Men respond more with content, versus focusing on
relational aspects of messages. Men also may respond to a woman's self-disclosure by providing
more information on a topic, rather than a reciprocal self-disclosure or empathy. Example (from
Gray)-- she says "We never go out", he answers "That's not true, we went out last week."
d. ritual/literal --e.g. apologies used by women as both condolence and ritual (in her book, Talking
From 9 to 5, about gender communication differences in the workplace, Tannen noted that some
women apologize when they run into furniture); men see apologies as admitting weaknesses, etc.
e. Cooperation/competition (Community/contest)--Women use cooperative problem-solving
techniques (share information and negotiate decisions); men tend to be in competition with each
other, and seek to "win" in conflicts.
These patterns have implications for any female-male communication interaction. Often the styles
that women use are seen as wishy-washy, overly tentative, and non-assertive by men, especially in
the workplace. And yet, if women adopt male styles of communication (e.g. more direct speech)
will be perceived by both men and women as overly aggressive, perhaps even "cold."
See also C. Clark (1994) "Masculine" and "Feminine" learning styles.
D. DISCRIMINATION IN THE CLASSROOM
Research indicates the following may be true for regarding the sexes (and also for minority groups)
in U.S. colleges and universities:
1. As documented by Belenky et al., Tannen, Clark and others, males & females in this culture
often have different learning and communicating styles (females tend to be more cooperative; males
more competitive; females tend more connected, males more independent, etc.). Yet, even today,
the conventional model of the classroom is rooted in what Cooper (1993) calls "objectivity,
separateness, competitiveness, and hierarchical structure," which are more indicative of male
characteristics than female (p. 122).
2. We often assume that people fit their stereotypes, especially if we grew up with those stereotypes
reinforced. For example, because of social norms, female faculty, staff, and students are assumed to
be more nurturing, or to fit other feminine stereotypes, by students, while male faculty, staff, and
students are assumed to be more insensitive and assertive (or fit other masculine stereotypes). This
may or may not be the case.
3. Both young women and men suffer a loss of self-esteem at the onset of adolescence, although
often for different reasons (boys may suffer from lack of appropriate male role models, and from
pressures to succeed; females may suffer from pressures to live up to perfectionist ideals for
appearance and behavior, and more social fears). Despite this, high-school females are more likely
than males to see themselves as college-bound, to have higher aspirations and see themselves as
eventually successful; males are more likely to be disillusioned and drop out.
4. Despite high aspirations, many females have more difficulty than males in asserting authority
(and believing themselves to be authority), and in gaining respect for their ideas (even today, many
women and girls aren't listened to when they present ideas, especially if in a non-traditional area
such as science or math).
5. Often, female faculty, staff, and students are seen to be less competent, especially in more
technical areas (e.g. science, math, computer science, although this can also happen in politically
charged classes, such as women's studies); such women must work harder to establish their
credibility. Conversely, male faculty, staff, and students often are seen as less competent in more
relational or female-dominant areas (such as nursing, elementary school teaching, social work, and
language arts).
6. Female faculty and staff can get less favorable evaluations if do NOT conform to stereotyped
expectations for feminine behavior (if, for example, they are not especially nurturing or
understanding of students); male faculty and staff may be praised for not conforming to their male
sex-role (e.g. being more sensitive) OR they may be seen as wimps.
7. Research by the Sadkers, Cooper, and others documents how both male & female teachers call
on male students more frequently, ask more complex questions of male students, provide more
explanation of assignments to male students, and generally give male students more concrete praise
and criticism (both verbally and nonverbally), at all levels of education.
8. Male students are likely to respond quicker to questions, to interrupt or call out a response, to
assume leadership roles in class, and to work independently (males are less likely to seek outside
help, for example); female students are more likely to use "feminine" linguistic patterns such as use
of disclaimers, hesitations, and tag questions.
9. Research also suggests that both male and female teachers continue to use sexist language, or
language that denigrates, demeans, or excludes a particular sex (e.g. the "generic he," using only
male examples, using stereotyped evaluative terms such as "chick" or "stud," making sexist jokes,
using sex-stereotyped imagery in overheads, etc.); women with Ph.D's often "lose" their doctorates,
being called "Mrs."
10. Although slowly changing, contributions of women and minority groups still are marginalized
or ignored in many of the textbooks used in the U.S. (at all educational levels); this is especially true
in scientific or technical textbooks, but also in history and literature.
11. Females are closing the gap in math and science achievement, but still face gendered
expectations in traditionally male-dominated fields (it can be the reverse for males in femaledominated fields); more depressing, even females who are highly competent in math and science are
less likely to pursue scientific or technological careers than are their male classmates.
12. If female faculty, staff, or students have to take care of a family, they often will be seen as less
dedicated, while males taking care of families may be praised, or seen as wimps (even more if he
stays home while his partner earns a wage).
13. Female faculty, staff, and students are more likely to experience harassment and or subtle
discrimination by faculty or administration, e.g. hearing sexist "jokes," inappropriate touching,
being spotlighted as a "token," etc.; in addition, female faculty, staff, and students may be subjected
more to sexual harassment by male students, e.g. sexualized name-calling, sexist "jokes,"
inappropriate touching, harassing phone calls, being asked out for dates, etc. It sometimes happens
in reverse, but far less likely.
14. Male faculty, staff, and students are more likely to be perceived as acting inappropriately (of
being sexist, of harassing students, etc.), by students, regardless of sex/gender; however, a female
teacher may be accused of man-bashing if she brings up any topic related to gender, or claims to be
a feminist.
15. Female faculty and staff may be paid less than male faculty and staff; although there has been
improvement in establishing pay equity across the nation, females still earn only about 79 cents to
$1.00 for males (if paid equal, females may be asked to do more for their buck--e.g. course
overloads, extra service requirements, etc.)
IV. SUGGESTIONS FOR CHANGE
1. COMMUNICATION COMPETENCE
Competence (or being effective) in communicating is important--it can help enhance your personal
and professional relationships. Learning behavioral flexibility/rhetorical sensitivity (Hart, et. al.) is
one way to be competent in your communication. Rhetorical sensitivity to others includes the
following:
a. Acceptance of personal complexity.
b. Avoidance of rigid communicating styles (being able to use a multiplicity of styles,
depending on the situation).
c. Interaction consciousness (balancing self-interest with other orientation).
d. Appropriate communication for situation (knowing "the rules").
e. Understanding that an idea can be communicated a number of different ways.
f. Being present with others, indicating an orientation toward others.
1) indicating empathy and support through paraphrasing and back-channel cues.
2) respecting others
2. OTHER STRATEGIES FOR EQUITY
a. Work to draw all students into discussions, perhaps by waiting a minute for responses (to
ensure reactions from shy or introverted students as well as female students), or by using
free-writing techniques prior to discussions.
b. Design and enforce class policies statements that make it clear that biased comments and
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