Humor Is It the Secret of Lasting Relationships?

Humor is attractive and is considered as one of the factors contributing to the longevity of
relationships. Males and females equally find humor as a very desirable quality of a potential
romantic partner, which is quite understandable why being with a humorless person when
life can be so much fun with someone with a more developed sense of humor?
A similarity in the style of humor is especially important in the initial stages of relationships.
If your date finds the same jokes funny, it can make a very good first impression and can lead
to higher levels of attraction. Moreover, people tend to believe that a good sense of humor
also predicts positive and developed social qualities in others.
The assumptions that humor can contribute to the satisfaction with the partner and the
relationship led researchers to look more into the issue. As Cann et al (2011) summarize, one
study found that the similarity in the appreciation of humor was associated with the attraction
of the individuals to the partner, but another study found no correlation between similarity in
humor style and marital satisfaction.
In the early stages of a relationship, humor and especially similar humor might enrich the
relationship, but the questions about satisfaction with the partner and relationship become far
more complex. However, couples, who are satisfied with each other and their relationship,
tend to preserve humor in their daily interactions.
Bear in mind, we are talking about humor appreciated by both members of the couple! When
one of them perceives it as inappropriate or even hostile, it has definitely no beneficial effect
on the relationship. It is very common among couples seeking counseling because of their
relationship problems that one of the partners does not appreciate the humor of the other half
of the couple. You can always try to be funny, but you should know that not all humor can
enhance the stability of a relationship or the satisfaction with its quality. Apart from the
amount, the timing of being humorous can backfire as well. The pitfalls should be considered,
especially in the knowledge that humor is similar to intelligence and driving ability, most
people believe that they are better than average in it.
Another interesting finding of the recent research literature of humor is that men prefer
women who are receptive to their humor, but they are turned off by females who are very
much sources of humor themselves. Women do not seem to have such bias or preferences;
they are equally appreciating the production and reception of humor.
As we all have probably experienced, humor might be a huge advantage during dating and the
early stages of relationship building. Lucky couples keep the appreciation for each others
humor and can share a good laugh after considerable time together as well. In less fortunate
cases, a misdirected joke can ruin a promising date or if we cannot tune to the preference of
fun and jokes of the other, we can undermine the whole relationship with our misdirected
humor. The good news is that someone most likely has similar taste in humor like yours, so
everybody might find an ideal partner for sharing a good laugh, if you consider it important.
As research results suggest, there might be other, more relevant factors responsible for
relationship satisfaction.

Reference:
Cann, A., Zapata, C. L., Davis, H. B. (2011): Humor Style and Relationship Satisfaction in
Dating Couples: Perceived versus Self-reported Humor Styles as Predictors of Satisfaction,
Humor, 24(1), pp. 1-20