Anusha Sethi

"We're taught in airline safety to put the oxygen mask on for

ourselves before helping others. Everything begins with loving
yourself. You can't grow if you don't allow yourself to, you
can't make the world your own if you don't make your place in
it."
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-Ashima Sethi

To the teenagers reading this book,

You are your own person with thoughts like stars made into constellations, a smile that burns brighter
than the sun and a gentle power to love unconditionally.
-Tessa Poutiainen

Contents page:
Chapter 1: Relationships
Relationships......................................................................................................................................................................................3
Friendships.....................................................................................................................................................................................4
Dating...........................................................................................................................................................................................16
Sexual Orientation.........................................................................................................................................................................20
Family Relationships.....................................................................................................................................................................22
Chapter 2: Individual Feelings
Feeling Happy...............................................................................................................................................................................33
Feeling Sad...................................................................................................................................................................................39
Dealing with Grief..........................................................................................................................................................................44
Stress............................................................................................................................................................................................46
Eating Disorders............................................................................................................................................................................52
Feeling Suicidal.............................................................................................................................................................................56
Social Phobia................................................................................................................................................................................60
Running Away...............................................................................................................................................................................62
Chapter 3: Healthy Eating..............................................................................................................................................................64
Chapter 4: Drugs and Alcohol.......................................................................................................................................................80
Chapter 5: Focusing in School......................................................................................................................................................99
Chapter 6: Quotes.........................................................................................................................................................................102

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1
Relationships

What is the point of having

something good happen if you
cant share it with anyone?

Friendships

A friend is someone who

knows everything about you
and still loves you.

Healthy relationship gives you the potential and allows you to feel good about yourself. You are able to
have a healthy relationship with anyone in your life. These people can be your friends, family or even
people you date. Healthy relationships require a lot of care and time. Relationships that you have during your teen life will be able to teach you lessons about who you are.
The most important aspect of a healthy relationship is communication. Communication is being able to
express feelings and share personal things. This means that you can also listen to what the other person has to say and share. This can be in the form of an email, written text, conversation or body language. Body language can be as simple as looking in the other persons eyes to show that you are listening while they are talking.
Having a healthy communication allows everyone to feel calm. Everyone is able to share their feelings
and thoughts with one another and know that the other person is there to support and listen to you.
There will also be a sense of trust for the other person to keep personal issues you share with them. In
healthy relationships, people do not tell lies.
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Being in a healthy relationship does not mean that fights do not take place. Fights can still occur but
the way they are dealt with is dierent. In a healthy relationship, people stay calm and express how
they feel. One way to do this is by talking calmly. This makes it easier to identify the problem as to why
you may not be getting along with one another. Working through the problems usually strengthens a
relationship. People may feel good because they have been able to work through a rough patch rather
than to give up easily.
Negotiation and compromise are two key ingredients to having a healthy relationship. Negotiation
means that you talk to the other person until you come up with something you agree on. Compromise
means that each person gives up a little of what they want until both sides can agree.
However, when it comes to certain issues such as missing curfew, under-age drinking or smoking it
may be non-negotiable within your family. This means that the rules will not change. These rules are
most likely enforced to protect you.
If there is a mutual respect between you and your partner or you and your friend, do not be afraid to
ask for what you want. To be assertive means to clearly ask for what you want in a respectful mannerwithout any physical force, threats or intimidation. It is important to respect yourself along with the
other person.

Dealing with conflict:

At a younger age the conflicts we face are usually about hurting someones feelings or taking something without asking. Adults would then usually intervene and help solve the conflict at hand. When
you get older, it becomes your responsibility to deal with the conflict on your own because its part of
growing up and becoming more mature. These conflicts may come up at work, home, school, within
your community and in relationships.
When it comes to small problems that occur in your everyday life, it can be solved by simply saying
Im sorry. However, not all conflicts can be worked out this easily. Some of these issues can include
being bullied, not understanding why you and your friend are not getting along or fights with your parents.
Avoiding a conflict and certain problems may be good but it also has the power to make issues worse.
When youre feeling angry its best to control your anger and talk it out rather than expressing it physically or with a bad tone. This can escalate the problem even more. By avoiding a conflict and not wanting to deal with it may lead to losing a good friend, be treated unfairly at home, school or work and you
may feel like you are not getting something you want or need.
When you have a problem with someone else, it is normal to feel emotions such as being upset, annoyed, let down, angry and sad. It is possible to deal with some of these feelings in unhealthy ways.
For example you may swear, call people names, yell or shout. This may be a way to get back at someone. Getting physical and hitting the other person can escalate a fight, which will make it more dicult
to solve in the future. Let these emotions pass through you but do not let them get out of hand because of the consequences that will then occur.
Step 1: Cool o! Its always better to stay in control

Count backwards from 10 or count to 10.

Take deep breaths with your eyes closed.

Think of something that makes you happy. This can be a person, food or place.

Repeat take it easy over and over to yourself.

There was a time, I was so frustrated with my parents at

home but when I got to school it still felt like I was holding
onto that anger. I lashed out on all my friends and hurt them
terribly. It is always so important to be in control of your
emotions and not let it out on the wrong people.

Step 2: Keep it real! Think about whats really bothering you

Do you not agree with what is going on?

Did someone do or say something that hurt your feelings or made you angry?

Are you feeling like this because of something that took place in the past?

Is this a one time problem or a situation that is regular?

Step 3: Deal with the issue

Decide on a time where you can talk in private.

Keep your body relaxed and voice calm. Make eye contact to show that you are listening and are
serious.
Say exactly what is bothering you. To make sure what youre saying does not come across as accusing or blaming the other person
start with I

For example instead of: You prefer to hang out with other people instead now. Try: I feel left out
when you hang out with Johns friends.
Instead of: You always embarrass me in class by picking on me. Try: I feel singled out more when
you call on me more than other students, it bothers me.
Instead of: You always rather hang out with your boyfriend. Try: I feel like you do not make as much
time for me.

Keep the conflict only between you and the others involved. Do not force or ask friends to take
sides.
Step 4: Listen. The other person may have a dierent perspective. Listen to their side and explain
yours.

Make eye contact. This expresses that you are interested and listening to what the other person
is saying and you are willing to solve the problem at hand.

Listen to what is behind the words, such as the feelings and ideas that are inspiring them.

Keep control of your emotions. It is important not to interrupt, get angry, be defensive, or to
judge.

Be empathetic and try to understand where the other person is coming from. Step into their
shoes to see where he/she is coming from.
Step 5: Work it out. Talk about ways to settle the conflict. Talk about what both sides need. Keep an
open mind. Be willing to say youre sorry, forgive and move past it.
If the conflict gets out of hand, theyre always people whom you can reach out to. These people include, parents/guardians, teachers, school nurses, coaches, counselors and trusted adults. Some
schools provide programs that help teens figure out issues and talk through things. Dont be shy to
ask for help; there is nothing to be embarrassed about.
Sometimes it may not be possible to solve a conflict. This can be the case if the other person does not
want to work it out or if the conflict escalates and gets physical. Give the situation a rest and walk
away. Being safe is the top priority.
Physical fights is an issue that needs to be taken very seriously. According to the Centers for disease
control and prevention, violence among young people is the second leading cause of deaths for young

people between the ages of 10 and 24. This is a very common issue as more than one-third of high
school students said they have been involved in a physical fight.
Youth violence can exist in many ways, such as:

Bullying

Punching

Hitting or slapping

Kicking

Robbery, assault, or rape

Bringing a weapon to school

Apart from death, many young people are hurt in other ways which can lead to long term disabilities
such as:

Cuts

Broken bones

Bruises

Gunshot wounds

Some things that make a teen more likely to fight include:

Physical fights in the past

Drug, alcohol, tobacco use

Family problems going on at home

Low grades in school

Poverty within the community

Hanging around with a bad crowd

However this does not mean a person who meets one of these points will always fight.

Below are a few ways to

stay safe from fights that
either happens at your
school or in your neighborhood.
Choose your friends
carefully. Avoid associating yourself with others
who are unable to handle their anger well.
Report any weapons
to a trusted adult. If you
see someone bring in a
weapon such as a knife
or gun to school, tell a
teacher or trusted adult immediately. If you are not on school grounds and see a friend who is carrying
one, leave right away.
Safety in numbers. Stay close to friends and walk in groups.
Friendships can be a tricky area for many people because its hard to make new friends while keeping
the same old friends. In healthy friendships a fight can still occur making it very dicult to deal with
conflicts once your friends are involved.
Peer pressure can be split up into two categories, positive and negative. Peer pressure is the term
when you try something because everyone else is doing it.
Positive peer pressure is when you act a particular way because your friends or people around you are
acting that way. However its for a good reason and they must have good intentions. For example, if
your friends talk you into joining the basketball team and you end up enjoying the sport, it is a positive
peer pressure because it has ended up enhancing your life. Another example would be if your friends
volunteer to go help out at an orphanage and you join. Negative peer pressure on the other hand is
when you feel like you are pressured to act a certain way because everyone else is but the end result

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is bad. An example of this is treating someone badly just because everyone else is. An example would
be treating a new student unfairly in your school.
It is easy to fall into this peer pressure even though you know it is not a good idea. This is because you
may worry that your friends will think negatively about you and you have the fear of being left out.
Negative peer pressure can involve alcohol, smoking, or even drugs. The best way to avoid this peer
pressure is to say I dont want to. or No, thanks. Remember you are always in charge of your
choices and what you want to do and avoid. It may help to talk to your parents about how to handle
peer pressure while growing up.
Normally, I always go along with my friends plans but having time to myself after a long week seemed
much better than going to a party. I was scared to back out last minute because I thought my friends
would get angry and frustrated. I realized that it was time for me to start doing what I felt would make
me happy and prioritizing myself does not make me selfish.
There are several things you and your friends do to fit in. It can go from having the right clothes and latest accessories to being friends with the cool kids. It is normal to want to be liked by the majority of
others, though it is more important what matters to you personally. Having a lot of friends and fitting in
can be something that is important temporarily but it is better to focus on being you and finding true
friends who will be there for you through tough periods.
Here are 6 ways to know if you found yourself true friends:

They want you to be happy and do well.

They listen and care about what you say.

There are happy for you when you do accomplish something.

They apologize after making a mistake and put their ego aside.

They do not expect you to be perfect.

They share personal advice with you to build a strong relationship.

Having a good group of friends is the biggest blessing in my life. Each morning when it becomes hard
to get out of bed, I just think of all the hugs from the people I love most that I will get at school and all
the silly things we will laugh about. Having a good group of friends really feels like a safety net and it
gives you room allow you to learn and grow as a person.

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I have had to go through friendships where I felt like I was the invisible friend for years, someone who
was left out constantly and be forgotten. Never did I think that I would have a friend that would sleepover at my house whenever I felt lonely, show up with food when I was upset, message me on a daily
basis asking how are you?, cuddles me when I need it, watches the lamest movies, dances around
alone in my room to random music, and here I am talking to that very friend right now.
A clique is a group of friends who are very selective upon who can and cannot join their group. It may
be nice to be in a close group of friends but not being involved among your close group of friends may
not be fun. Girls in cliques intentionally leave other girls out and bully girls who are not cool enough
or reach their standard. If this is happening to you, try to make friends with people who genuinely care
about you. It is more important to have good friends than many friends who do not care. This is another example of where quality is more important than quantity. If you are the one in the clique leaving
other people out, try putting yourself in their shoes and think about the feelings theyre experiencing
because of it.
There is also usually a high level of peer pressure among these cliques. You may feel like you need to
take drugs or drink to keep your spot in the gang. Remember: you always have the right to say no to
something you do not believe in. If they are your real friends they will respect and support your decisions and judgments. You also have the right to leave people who do not make you happy. Make new
friends who will appreciate you and make you feel loved for being the person you are.

I think if Ive learned anything about friendship, its to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let
them fight for you. Dont walk away, dont be distracted, dont be too busy or tired, dont take them for
granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stu. -Jon Katz

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Friendships are very important to teens especially when theyre the group of people you hang out with.
It is normal for teens to compete with each other for friends. When this takes place it may lead to leaving each other out or bullying them in open ways. Being left out of a group can really hurt someones
feelings so be considerate on how you treat your friends. You would also want to be included and not
be constantly left out.
If you are moving to a new school you may feel overwhelmed when you meet new people. You might
feel shy or embarrassed not knowing what to say. The other person most likely will feel the same way.
Be strong and talk to new people. It will help to make new genuine friends if you are yourself!
How to make new friends:

Decide whom you want to be friends with and why you like these people.

Take part in an after school activity. This can be joining clubs or even sport teams.

them.

Introduce yourself and repeat the other persons name. This will make it easier to remember

Think before you say anything and work on your listening skills.
Be sensitive to other people.

When people compliment you or say nice things, dont be cocky, say thank you.

Say nice things to others.

Take your time making friends

Be willing to hear someone say no. Some people may not be as open to making new friends.
Its important to try anyway and not close yourself o.

Be positive and upbeat.

Arrange hangouts to spend time with old and new friends.

In a healthy friendship you should not be scared of losing a friend simply because you do not agree
with them or say no. Good friends should respect your opinions and values and should not give you
a hard time if you do. Likewise, you should show the same mutual respect to your friend if they say no
to you.

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If you have a friend who smokes, drinks, has an eating disorder or has problems at home, you can listen and give advice but it may be necessary to get a trusted adult to help because it is a lot of responsibility to handle alone. Dont be afraid to reach out for help. It can be a parent/guardian, teacher or
even a school nurse. If this is a way to protect your friends health, do not worry about them getting
mad at you. It will be benefor them in the long term.
Not all friendships last a lifetime. As you grow up, you grow apart from people and that is normal. At
times it may be necessary to end a friendship.
You should end a friendship if your friend:

Makes sarcastic or mean comments.

Shares your secrets.

Constantly goes after your crush or significant other.

Doesnt want you to be friends with other people.

Doesnt make an eort to listen to you.

Pushes you to do dangerous things that you dont want to talk part in.

Blames you for things that are going wrong in their lives.

Complains all the time and brings you down.

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You can ignore your friends by not picking up their calls, avoiding them at school and not initiating
hangouts but thats not always the best way. This may leave the other person confused as to why
youre acting dierently. Having a direct talk with the other person may work wonders. You can try explaining and justifying your decision but remember, honesty is the best policy!
When I think about my friendships in the past, I do feel sad at times because I miss all the memories
and good times we had together. However, I know that when you have that much of an importance in
someones life, it is impossible to stop caring or loving. If anything happens, I know my new and old
friends would be there for me. Losing friends should not be something to dwell about because
changes are a natural occurrence in life and you should embrace new changes which could be in the
form of new friends in your life.
It is common for parents/guardians and teens to face disagreements about certain friendships.
Parents/guardians usually worry that their child is associating himself or herself with the wrong
crowds. Parents/guardians can be concerned about things like alcohol, drugs, skipping school, sex,
missing curfew, piercings or tattoos. Some parents/guardians take body piercings and tattoos as a
sign of other behaviors like drinking or smoking. How to handle a situation like this really depends on
the relationship you have with your parents/guardians. Some parents/guardians are able to talk to
each other and work through problems together. Both sides trust each other enough allowing problems to be solved by talking through issues.
If the relationship is already strained and tension filled, it may be helpful to bring in an outside person
to help solve things or mediate This person can be a school social worker, family doctor, therapist,
mentor, family member, coach or counselor.
If you want your parents to warm up to your friends and like them it may help for them to get to know
one another on a personal level. Encourage your friends to ask how they are when they come over.
You can even arrange your friends to eat dinner at your house so your friends and parents can bond
while sitting at the dining table. This will stop your parents from judging your friends quickly by what
they see or hear.
To set a good example when you meet your friends parents, look at them in the eye and speak politely.
Your parents could possibly be trying to protect you. Their intention is probably to keep you safe. It
may be hard to understand but remember that your parents have a dierent perspective based on all
the things they have experienced in their past years. You can try talking to your parents about their concerns. It is not guaranteed to make them change their mind but being honest is the best option.

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Dating

Just because someone desires you,

does not mean that they value you.
Read it over. Again. Let those words
Ashima Sethi

resonate in your mind.-Sarah Patulak

A gentle reminder that your heart is a

muscle and so should be exercised regularly,
love often and love deeply.
-Beau Taplin
Dating relationship can be both a fun and exciting part of your life if it is a healthy relationship. It can
also be confusing especially if its new to you. Once you know that the other person likes you and you
like them, you may not know what to do next. Knowing what makes a relationship healthy and safe
can help.
There is no best age for teens to start dating. The age that a person decides to start dating varies. Different families also have dierent views and rules on dating as well. When you start dating someone it
should be because you care about them, not because everyone else is in a relationship and youre
pressured to be dating someone. A dating relationship is an opportunity to really get to know someone. It should happen when youre personally ready and your parents/guardians approve of it.

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Healthy dating relationships should start with the same things that healthy friendships start with: these
things include good communication, honesty and a mutual respect. Dating relationships are dierent
to friendships because it includes physical ways of showing you care. This can be shown through holding hands, hugging or kissing. You may
want to spend all your time with a special
person but it is important to spend time
apart and balance things out in your life.
This will help to maintain a healthy relationship with your friends, family and that special someone all at the same time.

Although a dierence of two years does

not seem like a big deal, it can be. This is
because there is a higher possibility that
someone older may want a physical relationship which you are not ready for.
Mutual respect means that no means no and that your date will stop.
You should never be pressured into doing something that you dont want to do. Your partner should always respect your choices along with your right to say no to anything that makes you uncomfortable.
It may be easier to talk to him/he in advance about how comfortable you are about doing certain
things.

Get to know the person before going out the first time. This can be at school or on the phone.

Go out with a group of friends to a public place for the first couple of times you go out to stay on
the safe side.

Plan fun activities that will keep you excited! Some suggestions are going on a picnic, a walk,
movie or mall.

Tell the other person your limits. Also, tell them what time your parents/guardians want you to be
home.

Tell at least one of your friends along with your parents/guardians who you are going out with and
the location. Also give them a way to contact you in case of anything.

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The key elements to having a healthy relationship include trust, respect and communication. Healthy
relationships allow you to feel safe with the other person and feel good about yourself. You can learn
about what makes you happy. Keep in mind that the more you love yourself, the easier it will be to find
healthy relationships.
When I first got in a relationship, I found it dicult to balance school, friends, family, my boyfriend and
myself. I gave time to everyone but myself and it really took a toll on me later. Always remember to
treat yourself as number one. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
Never, ever feel pressured to do something you do not want to do. If you have to think hard about doing something with someone, it is not the right time. If you have to think that hard and you are not
sure, it is not right for you. When it comes to physical aspects with your boyfriend/girlfriend, it is important to be sure about what you want and limits you set for yourself.
Hey there. I know it hurts and I am so sorry. Youre so beautiful and its so unfortunate for you to be
feeling this way. I wish I could tell you the secret to getting over someone but I cant. There is no secret. One day I was forced to get out of bed even with my heart still shattered into pieces. I just tried
my hardest to hold it together with my hands and I know it cut me along the way and it felt like it was
getting worse but day after day one of my friends or family members applied some glue without me
knowing. On one of the faintest days, my heart was back together. No, it wasnt perfect. I still saw the
scars and the bumps and bruises but it was okay. Just know that one day, youll feel better. Today just
isnt the day. Perhaps Tomorrow, Erin.
As a teenager, break ups, the feeling of being forgotten, left behind, or replaced are dicult to cope
with. Seeing someone you knew inside out start a new life without you in it is always a hard but remember your own worth. You do not need a girl/boy to make you complete. Remember before getting in a
relationship, the person should compliment you, not complete you. You are complete by yourself.
When you break up with someone, in the beginning it may help to avoid things that remind you of the
other person. For example, the places you went together, the songs you listened to or movies you
watched.Reading over old conversations also may make you feel more hurt and upset. However, if it is
what you feel is needed to be done in order to get closure, go ahead and do so.
Remember that the person you dated does not define who you are as a person. Know that you were
fine before he/she came into your life. Once the relationship is over, walk away, nothing good comes
out of watering a dead plant. Understand that there are better things in store for you in the future and
you should not dwell upon one person and allow them to break your happiness. Know your worth and
know that you deserve better. You deserve someone who will be by your side through thick and thin
and one day, you will find that special person.

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You were red. You liked me cause I was blue. You touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky and you
decided purple just wasnt for you.
Theres a dierence between somebody who wants you and somebody who would do anything to
keep you. Remember that.
Letting go doesnt mean that you dont care about someone anymore. Its just realizing that the only
person you really have control over is yourself.-Deborah Reber
One day it just gets better. Theres no explanation or reason why. You just wake up and youre not angry anymore.
When your heart is broken you plant seeds in the cracks and you pray for rain.-Andrea Gibson
Youre going to be sad. Youre going to want to scream and punch things. Do it. Let out every ounce
of anger you have. Sit on the floor and cry until you feel numb. Listen to songs that make your heart
sink to your feet. Write angry letters to all the people who have broken you, left you, ignored you or
hurt you. Throw your hairbrush at the wall. Do it twelve times. Do it until you feel like you can breathe
again. Youre going to be sad. Youre going to want to hurt yourself. Dont you dare do it. Sit on the
floor and watch cartoons like you did when you were little. Listen to songs that make you want to
dance around your bedroom in your underwear at 3 A.M. Make paper airplanes out of those angry letters and watch them soar into the fireplace. Brush all the knots out of your hair and say I am worth it
into the mirror. Say it twelve times. Say it until you feel like you can breathe again. Youre going to be
sad. Youre going to get through it.
Once you lose someone, it is never exactly the same person who comes back.-Sharon Olds

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Sexual Orientation

Ashima Sethi

During your teen years, sexual feelings will start to develop. These feelings are both part of the body
and mind. You dont need to feel embarrassed by having these feelings; its normal and natural. Its
okay to feel confused by these new feelings, you are not alone.
Sexual orientation means the kind of person who you are drawn to both romantically and physically.
There are three main types of sexual orientation:
Heterosexual- People who are attracted to members of the opposite sex. Boys are attracted to girls
and girls are attracted to boys. Heterosexuals are often called straight.
Homosexual-People who are homosexual are attracted to people of the same sex. This means that
girls are attracted to girls, and are called lesbian. Boys who are attracted to other boys are often
known as gay. The term gay can be used to describe homosexual individuals of both genders.
Bisexual-People who are bisexual are romantically and physically attracted to people of both sexes.
There are other various types of sexual orientations that are not as common, such as pansexuality (being attracted to someone for their personality, not their appearance) or asexuality (not being attracted
to people sexually, but willing to have relationships that are based on emotional trust). Also, some people come out as transgender/transsexual, which means that they identify with a dierent gender than
20

they were originally born with. They may later go on to have sex reassignment surgery, or may choose
to continue living in their own body.
During your teenage years, you may feel as if you are alone if you experience any orientation that is not
heterosexual or feel any sort of discomfort. However, more and more teenagers around the world are
beginning to come out (reveal their sexual orientation to other people). The best advice if you have any
conflicted feelings would be to talk to a friend or parent you trust, a high school counselor, or anyone
who you feel may understand. Remember that you are never alone.
If you feel that you have a dierent sexual orientation than what most people think you are, coming out
to people, especially your family can be scary. Some families are very conservative and may not accept you straight away, while most parents/siblings will love you no matter whom you choose to love.
In case something goes wrong, it is always easier to come out to friends you trust first, as they may be
able to give you advice and support.

21

Family Relationships

Your family can really help you learn about building relationships. It doesnt matter if you live with your
mom, dad, grandparents, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, or whoever is your caretaker, your family
should be a main source of love and comfort. This doesnt mean that there will be no conflict. You
should be able to work past it. Remember that healthy relationships require a lot of time, eort and energy.
Your relationship with your parents/guardians may be confusing right now. When you grow up, you will
be given more freedom to do more things on your own. This means that youll most likely be able to
spend time with other people like your friends or that special person. Although you may feel like youre
ready to make your own decisions and that you deserve to do as you please, you need to follow the
rules your parents/guardians have set. These rules are made because they care about you and because your safety is a priority. These rules may make you angry and frustrated which can lead to more
fights.

Talk about the rules: Talk about things in advance. This will help you have a clearer idea of what
they will say yes or no to before you confirm or make plans. Ask your parents to justify and give reasons for each rule. This will help you understand their perspective. Hopefully they will listen to your
ideas and contribute to what you think the rules should be too. They may even be willing to use your
ideas while coming up with these rules.

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Try to stay calm: Dont yell, stomp or cause a scene when your parents/guardians say no. If you
listen to what they have to say and accept it, you will be able to show them that you are handling this
maturely.

Follow the rules: If your parents/guardians tell you to be home at a certain time, make sure you
are home. If something comes up and youre going to be late, call them otherwise theyll worry about
you. If you follow the rules and prove that you are responsible they may let you come home late the
next time.

Choose your battles: When it comes to small adjustments that can avoid fights, you should do it!
This can be chores like cleaning your room or putting your phone away during dinner.
Spend time with your family: Some teens fight with their parents/guardians about how much time they
spend with their friends. Prioritize your family and make some special time for them. You can do activities like going to the beach, a bike ride, bowling or even a picnic.
It is incredibly important to remember how important family is in your life. Friendships come and go,
especially during transitional periods in your life such as moving to university or getting a job. Your family will be there for you through every step of your life. Know their significance in your life and work towards a healthy relationship with them. Instead of spending all your time in your room talking to your
friends, go to your parents room, suggests a movie or place to go eat. Before you know it, youll be in
university missing home and your parents. Wake up every morning and make sure your parents know
you love them and appreciate them.
One day, you will be sitting in your university dorm alone without your parents and you will have a moment of realization that everything they have ever done for you is out of love. You will realize that it is
their job to take care of their child even if that means you getting angry at them for periods of time.
Keep in mind that they have good intentions and you should trust their judgment because of all the
past experiences and lessons they have gone through. Stay open-minded.
Young caregivers:
If you are responsible for taking care of someone in your family, you are not alone! There are over one
million young people in the United States who have the responsibility to take care of someone in their
family especially when parents/guardians are away.
As an adult, having to take care of someone else is already a tough job however it can be even harder
for a young person. This is because you may have less time for school related activities or you may
feel like you dont have the freedom to be a kid and do what a lot of other teens are doing around you.
Your peers may not have to look after anyone else making it harder for them to understand what youre

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going through. Taking care of someone else can help you feel good as well as cause anxiety. Remember that you need to take care of yourself too.

If you are angry, sad, or worried, talk to a trusted adult. An example would be your school counselor.

Write in your diary about how youre feeling or if youre a visual person, draw your feelings.

Keep some time each day to have fun and give yourself a break.

Remember that its okay to say no and sometimes you should let yourself be prioritized.

Ask for help. Is there someone in your family, a friend or even a neighbor who can help you at certain
times?
Dealing with divorce and separation:
After having your parents separated or divorced, you will probably have to deal with a lot of changes in
your family life. Things may feel like theyre still changing even if it has been a while since your parents
have been separated or divorced. Some situations could be that youre living full-time with either your
mother or father and you may be switching between either of your parents homes. You can also be living with a parent and your parents new partner. This means that you will be introduced to having stepbrothers and sisters or half-brothers and sisters. Another scenario could be that you are living with
your grandparents.
No matter what situation you are in, it is completely normal and acceptable to have dierent emotions
and feelings about the changes occurring. Dealing with your parents divorce can be really hard to
come to terms with and it may take a long time to adjust. As you grow up and get older, your feelings
may change: some things can get more complicated while other things will become easier to deal
with.
Is it normal to feel upset all the time after your parents told you that theyre getting divorced?
If your parents are separated, in the process of getting a divorce or recently divorced, it is normal to
have many confusing and complicated feelings. Even if your parents have been divorced for a while it
is still completely normal to have strong feelings about it. A lot of common emotions are:

Anxiety-Worrying about what is going to happen and who will take care of you and/or your siblings.

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Ashima Sethi

Surprised or shocked.

Anger-you can be angry at your parents or just angry as a way of letting things out.

Sadness-you may feel like youve lost something.

Guilt-You may question if you were the reason for your parents divorce.

Fear-if one of your parents leaves, you may be afraid and doubt that your other parent will as
well. You can also be scared about how things will work out in the end.

Worry-You may worry and question if the same thing will happen to you in the future.

Loneliness-You may feel like you have nobody to talk to or nobody understands what youre currently going through.

Embarrassed-You may not want to talk to anyone about what is going on because you dont
want them to know how dierent things will be in your family.

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You can also feel:

Happy to have special time alone with each parent that you can cherish without so much chaos.

Relieved because there is less stress at home and it is easier to be in a happy environment.

All of these feelings are a normal part of coping with the major changes in our family life. It would be
best to talk to your parents, a trusted adult like your aunt or uncle or a close friend if youre feeling
overwhelmed and upset. Remember that holding in your feelings will not make them disappear. It may
also help to talk to a therapist or counselor who will listen and give you suggestions on how to deal
with it in a healthy way.
Its normal to feel relieved after your parents get a divorce.
A lot of the times, parents get divorced because of arguments, disagreements and lack of communication. This builds a tension filled environment. This worsens if there has been any form of physical violence or even drinking problems. After the divorce or separation, you will probably feel relieved because your home has become less stressful and more stable and safe. This means that you should
definitely not feel guilty for feeling this way! Your parents may feel relieved also because a lot of bad
energy has been eliminated from their lives. However they may also feel guilty about not being together.
If you feel like nothing in your life is the same after your parents divorce, things will get better with
time.
After a divorce, your everyday life can be very confusing because of the changes. It may not seem like
it but dealing with all the changes will get easier with each passing time. The many changes that come
with the divorce may be extremely overwhelming and hard to accept at once. You should take as
much time as you need to think and adjust to changes as you face them. Find out what works best for
you and your parents. Having someone you trust can make things a lot easier.
Its always important to remember and understand that it is not your fault that your parents are getting
separated or divorced.
Below are some ways that the divorce may change your life:

Custody arrangements and visits-you may be allowed to stay with only one parent or dierent
parents on certain days. Your parents a mediator, a lawyer and/or the court would decide this.

26


There is a possibility that you wont see one of your parents as much as you did before the divorce.

Your parents may be preoccupied, sad, upset, or hurt for a while after the divorce. They may
close themselves o.

You may have to move or change schools depending how your parents decide to deal with the
divorce. They may decide to move away to a dierent place.

Concentrating in school may become more dicult because of all the thoughts in your head.

You may have a dierent relationship with your aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins or any other
family member as they have to adjust to the changes too.

One or both of your parents may move on and start dating another person.

Money may become an issue if your familys finances are strained.

These changes are a lot to handle but will get easier over time. It helps to talk to your parents about
how the changes are aecting you and you can work through them together.
Do you ever feel like youre in the middle when your parents do not get along? Here are some things
you can tell them to make the situation easier for you.

The best thing is for both of your parents to reassure you that they love and care about you.
Know that if one of your parents moves away or decides not to stay in touch, it is not your fault and
you should not put it on yourself.


It is important for your parents to be mature and not put you in the middle. Sometimes your
parents may ask you to send messages back and forth or may complain about one another. This may
add pressure on you to feel like you have to choose between your parents or give you the feeling of
guilt because you dont feel loyal to one parent. If this takes place, it is completely acceptable and
okay to tell a parent that their behavior is upsetting you.

It is important that both your parents put in an eort to get along for special occasions. These occasions can be things that directly aect you. This includes school issues or holidays. These topics
should be discussed beforehand.

Its best for you to have few changes as possible for the beginning time period at least. After a divorce, it may be necessary for you to move out and change schools. It is okay to feel unhappy about

27

the changes taking place. If this change has to take place, talk to your parents and tell them that you
would still like to be able to keep in contact with friends from your old school and community.
Your parents would most likely try their best to make things as easy as possible for you. However they
may not be able to do this all the time. Keep in mind that your parents are also trying to deal with the
sudden changes in their family and married life. They may not prioritize your needs as much as before
but being able to express your feelings to your parents will really help to show them what is important
to you.
Having your parents divorced when you were very young can still have some eects on you. You may
have gotten used to some of the changes more easily and you have accepted the fact that your parents are not together and you are comfortable with that. This is normal because as you grow older you
can become more aware about how the divorce has shaped your family and your life in the present. It
is important to talk to your parents when you think its an appropriate time to change your arrangements due to social or school activities. See if you can work together to try to figure out a new routine.
Dealing with a divorce can be extremely stressful. However there are many ways to relieve stress. It
may help to listen to music, write in a journal, play sports, draw, read or talk to friends. If these normal
distractions and ways to deal with stress are not helping, itll be a good idea to talk to your school
counselor or a mental health professional.
Separation and divorce can create new situations at home which you have to deal with. Some of these
situations may be that either or both of your parents get remarried. This means that you will have to adjust to an additional family member and possibly having step-brothers, sisters or even a new baby. As
you approach these new situations, it becomes normal to have feelings about your parents divorce
and you may feel even more stressed out and feel as though it is harder to move pass. Keep in mind
that divorce can complicate your life but in time you will look back and realize that youve learn ways
to handle new family situations.

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Sisters and brothers:

Your sibling can be your best friend or your worst enemy. This is because you are not the same person
and there will be disagreements about dierent subjects. You may argue if your sibling takes something or goes in your room without permission. If you have an older sibling, they may tell you what to
do and your younger sibling may borrow your things without permission or they can be clingy and
want to be around you all the time.
If this is the case, instead of fighting, try to set rules and talk it out with your siblings so there is a mutual understanding. Instead of shutting your sibling o completely, try to listen to what he or she has to
say.

Talk to your parents/guardians. Your parents/guardians will most likely know you and your siblings very well which allows them to give you appropriate advice that would hopefully help ease the
situation.

Create your own space. Find a space that is all yours. It is nice to have a place to be in your own
bubble and think. If you share a room, find a little space, such as a corner of a room and ask for it to
be all yours. Ask your siblings to knock before coming into your room.

Respect your siblings space. If you respect their space, they will most likely have a mutual respect for you and your space.

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Make agreements on how you decide to share things. Figure out times for when each of you can
use the phone, computer or TV.
Pick your battles. Access the situation and find out what is really bothering you and if the problem is
worth fighting about. Dont waste your time on anything that isnt important.
Your sibling is a huge aspect of your life, therefore build a strong bond and love with them because at
the end of the day they will be looking out for you. Siblings are people whom you grow up with and will
most likely know you best. Be there for them, support them and help them find happiness in their lives.
Health issues and your family:
In your life you will pass through both good and bad times, throughout all of this your family can be
your biggest source of strength and support. Having a disability or a chronic illness can add a source
of stress in your family. Your family will be worried, upset and concerned if you are ill. Your family members may have never had to go through this making them confused about how to approach certain
tasks. All of these emotions are valid and none of them are your fault.
Some parents may be more protective over their children with dierent illnesses or disabilities and it
will take them a longer period of time to accept that you are growing up. Try to understand what each
person is feeling or going through. You can find ways to help them without going over the top. Abuse
within families:
Abuse within families often means when a caretaker is unable to take care of the child, treats the child
in an inappropriate sexual manner or physically hurts the child. This is not acceptable in any circumstances because parents, guardians, stepparents are meant to protect and take care of their children.
Child abuse can happen at any age and does not just apply to young children but teenagers as well.
Community relationships:
Its important to have healthy relationships with your community. This could be people in your school
or neighborhood. You should build a healthy relationship with them just like how you have relationships
with your family and friends. All of these relationships require an eort and time but it will allow you to
become a good member of your community. You can be a good person in your community by sharing
and expressing positive aspects of your character. Your character is the set of values and priorities
that help to build your thoughts, feelings and actions. This is a large part of the person you are.

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People with strong character:

Compassionate. Care about other peoples feelings and needs. Theyre considerate.

Honest. Always tells the truth.

Stand up for what they believe is right.

Show self discipline. For example be responsible to do activities you have signed up for or do
homework without anyone reminding or nagging you.

Treat people the way you would like to be treated.

Show respect for others. This can be done by being nice, being fair and by being open minded
about other peoples beliefs and allowing them to have their own.

Make good judgments about what you believe is the right or wrong thing to do.

Have a sense of responsibility. This means taking scenarios seriously and working hard to do a
good job and stay determined.

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2
Individual Feelings

Worrying is a waste of time. It does

not change anything. It messes with
your mind and steals your happiness.

Teenage years may seem like a never-ending emotional roller coaster full of ups and downs where you
will never be more happy or sad. Your mood will fluctuate and you may feel proud and confident in
yourself but the next moment you may feel depressed and confused. This happens because your body
and mind are going through a major change. Understanding that this roller coaster is normal and happens to all of us will already make it easier to get through hard times.
Feeling happy:
Being a teenager means you are concerned about many thoughts and feelings about dierent aspects
in your life. These things can include:

How you are doing in school and school related activities

Your friends and other people of the same age around you. You may feel like there is competition
about who is best about certain things.

You may be concerned about the way you look. You may start caring more about this because
physical changes is taking place in you , which will make you feel more self-conscious. Remember
that there are also good changes to celebrate.

Your parents

A lot of the time feeling happy does not need to be forced especially when things are going your way
and there is less to worry about. If something happens that makes you happy such as making it to the
honor roll or making it in a sports team, this may uplift your mood up for a long time.
Other times you may find that it is harder to feel happy because some things are bothering you or you
feel like you have an extra weight on your shoulder. However, there are always things you can do to
make you feel happy. For example, regular exercise can help because it helps the body to naturally produce endorphins, which make you feel good. Simple things like getting a healthy amount of sleep or
eating healthy food can also make you feel good. If you have a hobby or an activity you are passionate
about you can also use it as a distraction to help you feel better in the meantime.

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Self esteem:
Self esteem is a concept that you would have probably heard a lot about. Self esteem is the word that
describes the respect and value you have for yourself.
Having a healthy self esteem means that you are proud of the things you do and that you feel good
about yourself as a person. It is good to have high self esteem because it makes it easier to deal with
stress, it can encourage positive thinking and boost your motivation to work hard.
Having low self esteem means that you will most likely beat yourself up a lot of the time. Having a low
self-esteem also means that you may find it harder to do things that you enjoy. An example of this
would be not trying out for a sports team because you feel like you are not good enough which means
you miss out on a good opportunity. Having a low self esteem can lead to problems such as drug and
alcohol use, eating disorders and depression.
It is normal to feel sad sometimes because everyone has days that are hard and sad. This does not
necessarily mean you are having a low self-esteem. Having a low self-esteem mean that you are genuinely feeling bad about yourself constantly.

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Rate your self esteem:

If you are able to agree with the statements below means that you most likely have a high or healthy
self-esteem.

I am proud of what I can accomplish but I do not show o about it.

I am proud and feel good of who I am.

Before doing something, I think I can do it to myself.

It is okay to win and lose.

I accept that there are some things that I am good at but also things that I need to improve

I am responsible for my own actions both good and bad.

You will most likely agree with the following statements if you have a low or unhealthy self-esteem.

I am ugly.

I am dumb.

I am never able to complete something the right way.

I have nobody there for me.

I like to avoid trying new things.

It is hard for me to make friends.

I beat myself up a lot when I make mistakes.

I feel uncomfortable when people compliment or say nice things about me.

Saying mean things to others makes me feel better at times.

Below are ways to boost your self esteem:

Accept that it is okay to not be the best at everything. For example someone in your class may
be better at Biology than you and that is okay. You should not compare yourself to everybody if it
brings you down.

35

Do activities that you enjoy or find new hobbies that interest you.

Try volunteering in your community to help things or people around you. This can make you feel
as though you have accomplished something.

Understand that we all have times where we feel like we disappointed ourselves. Know that nobody is perfect and you should not constantly beat yourself up for it.

If you are feeling angry try talking to a trusted adult, this can be your relative, parents or even
counselor. It is better to talk things out because you may regret some actions and choices you make in
the moment.

Think positively and be proud of yourself when you accomplish something you have done. This
may be getting in a sports team or getting a good grade on a test you studied for.
If these tips do not work well for you and you are still feeling down and low about yourself try talking to
your school counselor or parents/guardian. Talking to a doctor may also be an option as you may be at
risk for depression.
Self confidence:
There is a small dierence between self-confidence and self-esteem. Self-confidence is having a realistic but also positive opinion about yourself and your abilities.
Self -confidence is a big and important part of being able to feel good about yourself. Self -confidence
can come in the form of a quiet voice that reminds you that you are worthy and that you are a good
person with good intentions, You also know how to deal with things in both good and bad times.
Confidence is something that develops as you grow up. For example, if you grew up with a loving family your self-confidence may have been high as a kid. You may have learned self-confidence when it
came to learning how to talk, play or walk. Growing up in your teen years you may have developed
self-confidence learning how to play sports or in social settings such as parties or just meeting up with
friends. Taking part in classroom discussions and being able to share your ideas may also boost your
self-confidence. Even though these things may seem scary it will help you build up your self confidence. You will have to go through the feelings of anxiety or stress from some activities but it will be
better in the long term. Self confidence is about believing that you can do things well even when you
have doubts at the back of your mind.

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Rate your self confidence:

If you agree with most of the statements below means that you have a high or healthy level of selfconfidence.

I look forward to learning and trying new things.

It is okay if I win or lose as long as I gave it my best shot and enjoyed it.

I can take criticism from others without having it hurt me or attack me personally.

I am prideful when it comes to being a nice person or doing a good job.

I like to try things on my own first but if I get stuck I have no problem asking for help.

Before I do something, I usually think, I can do it to myself.

I am able to separate things that I am good at and things that I need help with.

Overall as a person, I like myself.

However if you have a lower level of self confidence you will most likely agree with the statements below:

I feel very upset and think about criticism that my friends or teachers give me.

I like to avoid doing new things.

I feel like I am not good at anything and I always do something wrong.

I am not aware of what activities I am good at.

Before doing something I think to myself I cant do it.

I dont like to try new things unless someone explains and gives a demonstration on how to do it
first.

I feel embarrassed when I have to ask a question or present in class.

I hate it when people give me attention.

Overall, I do not like myself as a person.

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Here are some tips to boost your self confidence:

Set goals for yourself that is possible to reach. This will give you the feeling of satisfaction when you
achieve your goals. You will want to strive more and do even better.

Praise yourself when you do well and give yourself something that you deserve when you do. Remember it is important to look after yourself.

Try to focus on good things about yourself. Know your weaknesses but you should not dwell on
them. Praise yourself for what you are good at. Do not compare yourself to others.

Be assertive, not aggressive. Be able to express your opinions and thoughts without hurting or offending other people and their rights.
Have good body language and present yourself in a good manner. For example do not slump while
walking. Body language is very powerful. When others see it in you, they will follow too
Doubting yourself is a big part of growing up. The majority of teens think that there is something wrong
with the way they look. This could be feeling insecure about your weight or height.

Body Image

Feeling like this is common so never feel alone. These feelings that concern you about the way you look is what
body image is about. Body image directly aects your self-esteem because it can change the whole way you
look at yourself. It can add more negative thoughts and feelings about yourself in general. If you have poor selfesteem it can lead to more serious problems in the future. This may be self-injury or eating disorders. All of these
things put your health in danger and it is very important to take good care and know what your body deserves.
If you start to believe the negative thoughts that are in your head, try to focus on things that make you special
and unique instead. Look in the mirror and instead of picking out flaws try finding things that you like about yourself. This can be your dimples, legs, smile or even eyebrows! You do not only need to focus on physical attributes but think about some personal traits as well. Are you a good listener, a fast runner or a caring friend? Are
you a responsible daughter? Its all about what you choose to focus on.
Another tip to end your day on a good note is to think about three things that took place during the day that gave
you joy and made you happy. By doing this you will not over think about the bad things that occurred earlier. Having a positive outlook on life can make you feel more positive about yourself. It may even be nice to give yourself
compliments too, remember that you deserve it!

Some special things to always remember are: You are unique; there is nobody like you.

Nobody or nothing can define your self worth.

You are beautiful inside out.

There is a future.
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Feeling Sad

Whatever causes night in our

souls may leave stars.
-Victor Hugo
Ashima Sethi

It is easy to be overwhelmed with your emotions during your teenage years as there are a lot of
changes occurring in your body, both physically and in your mind. This may cause you to quickly
switch moods and may go from being extremely happy to sad. This is completely normal at this period
in your life. It is okay to have days where you feel like shutting yourself o from everyone when you are
in a bad mood but there are things you can do to make you feel better. Below are some tips that will
hopefully be able to cheer you up!

Find a way to relax. This can be done by showering, listening to music, taking a long bath, talking
to a close friend or even just going for a walk.

Understand that what you are going through is common for you age and it is nothing to beat yourself up for. Let these feelings pass.

If your feelings get overwhelming, there is always the option to talk to someone. You can talk to
your siblings, friends, parents/guardians, doctors, counselors or even teachers at your school. Hopefully they will be able to help you sort and mange your feelings.

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Not getting enough sleep and being tired can increase your stress levels so be sure that you are
getting enough sleep in order to have a fresh start to the day.
Endorphins are chemicals in your body that can help to improve your mood. Your body can make
these chemicals while exercising so going to the gym may be a good idea too!
Know that having a bad day or the blues is very dierent to having depression. Depression is an illness that aects many young people n this generation. Although it can be treated it is still very serious
and you should talk to a doctor or school counselor if you have any worries or doubts about diagnosing depression.
How will I know if I have depression?
Boys and girls are equally likely to develop depressive disorders before puberty takes place. However,
at the age of 15 it is twice as likely for girls to develop serious depression. Depression may just seem
like having the blues but if you have symptoms below and they interfere with your day-to-day living,
please consult a doctor.
Symptoms of depression:

Feeling sad or crying for reasons you cant explain. You may not know the cause or root of your
sadness.

Constantly feeing worried, anxious, nervous or angry. You may snap at people easily for small reasons.

Major changes in your appetite. This may be both over-eating or not eating.

Not seeing the purpose in anything and not caring about anything taking place around you.

A change in your sleeping routine. Not being able to sleep or not being able to get out of bed because you do not want to face the day.

Feeling worthless and guilty.

You no longer find joy in things that you used to enjoy doing. This can be hobbies such as drawing, cooking or maybe even some sports.

Thinking about dying or committing suicide.

Not being able to make decisions.

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Not being able to focus in and out of school.

Excluding yourself from your friends and pushing them away because you do not want to spend
time with them.

Feeling tired or restless most of the time.

If you have these symptoms you can talk to a doctor. There are many ways it can be treated. The first
priority is to get help.
How can I help a friend or relative who is depressed?
As you go through your teenage years it is normal to have short periods of time where you feel down
but if you have a friend or a relative who seems to be feeling down for weeks, he/she may be dealing
with depression.
Below are ways that you can possibly help her/him.

Be supportive of them, oer emotional support, encouragement, be patient and understanding. If
they act out and let things out on you, try not to take things they say out of anger or their bad mood to
heart.

If they mention anything about suicide do not ignore it, report them to your school counselor,
their parents, teacher, therapist or their doctor. This could help a lot in the long term to ensure their
safety.

Engage them in a conversation and try to include them. Listen carefully to what they say and
make sure they do not feel ignored.

Invite them to do activities with you. This can be as simple as going for a movie or a run. If they
decline the oer, dont push them.

Remind them that time will heal a lot and that with treatment they will get better.

Talk about things that they can look forward to in the future.

Surround them with good company and people whom they love.

Be there to comfort them. This can even mean just sitting in a room sharing silence. This will help
them from feeling lonely.

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Cutting and hurting yourself:

Self-injury is when a person intentionally hurts her or his own body. These injuries range from scars
that dont go away while others eventually fade away.
Some forms of self-injury are:

Cutting yourself using a sharp object to the skin like a knife or razor blade. People often cut their
wrist, thighs or places that are easy to hide.

Punching yourself or things around you. A lot of people punch walls to let things out.

Burning your body with candles, matches or cigarettes.

Pulling your hair out.

Breaking bones on purpose.

Bruising your body on purpose

Why do some teens want to hurt themselves?

People self-harm because it gives them a sense of relief. Some people turn to cutting as a form of dealing with a problem and they let out their emotions that way instead of being able to talk to someone
close to them or do activities that make them happy. Some teens cut to try to stop feeling hopeless,
angry, lonely or hurt. Usually, teens who hurt themselves have low self-esteem and may not receive a
large amount of love from their friends or family. They may also be dealing with problems such as being involved in drugs or alcohol. They may also be suering from an eating disorder or have been victims of abuse in the past.
Teens who let things out on themselves usually keep their feelings bottled up to themselves. This may
be because they feel that talking to others or asking for help will bother the other person and they
rather deal with it by themselves. Some teens have said that the feeling of pain from self-injury gives a
sense of relief from intense feelings. They may rather focus and feel pain rather than other things.
Other teens can also experience nothing at all and they feel numb and use self-injury as a form to
feel. This allows them to feel something and they may think that feeling pain is better than not feeling
anything at all. Another reason why teenagers may self-harm is because they want to fit in with other
people who do it if you are in an environment where people often do.

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If you are someone that hurts themselves please get help. It is possible to get through self-injury and
overcome the urge to cut. You can be given help to find ways to cope with your emotions without hurting yourself. Please talk to trusted adult or close friends that are able to help you. Remember that you
can get through it and the first step is accepting the problem and then going through recovery. Your
scars will heal.
What are the signs of self injury?
Below are some signs of self-injury to
keep in mind. It is good to be aware of
the following,
Cuts or scars that is visible on their
legs or arms.
Hiding cuts and scars. This can mean
wearing long-sleeved shirts or pants
even in hot weather.
Making up excuses about how they
got the cuts or scars. They may say
things like their cat scratched them or
they tripped and fell.
Self-injury can be incredibly dangerous because cutting can lead to infections, numbness, scars, being
hospitalized or even death if you cut too deep. If you share tools that you cut yourself with, there is a
risk of spreading diseases like HIV or hepatitis. By hurting yourself, it will be harder to learn how to
deal with negative feelings in the future. Try to think about
your actions instead of acting in the moment.
If you or anyone around you have injured himself or herself
seriously, call a helpline or a trusted adult.
The worst part about anything thats self destructive is
that its so intimate. You become so close with your addictions and illnesses that leaving them behind is like killing
the part of yourself that taught you how to survive.

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Dealing with Grief

Ashima Sethi

Dealing with grief:

There are some particular events that may take place in your life which has a lasting impact making
you feel frightened, insecure and confused. Some events may be violence, abuse, divorce or the death
of a friend, family member or pet. If you personally experience trauma you will know that it can have a
large eect on you. You may see trauma on television or hear adults talk about it. It may seem scary
but these events too will pass.
What is grief?
After a death or a loss, people have emotional, physical or even spiritual reactions. This is whats
known as grief or grieving. When you are grieving you may:

Feeling sick in their stomach. This may result in a loss of appetite and refusing to eat or throwing
up.

Not sleeping. Unusual sleep routines.

Feeling strong emotions such as extreme sadness or anger.

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Some people may have a spiritual reaction to loss of a family member. They may feel disappointed in
their religion and their god while others feel stronger about their faith.
How can you deal with grief?
People handle grief in multiple ways. Some ways are:

Finding comfort in good memories in the past. This can be watching old videos, finding old belongings or going through old photo albums. This can bring up a lot of feelings of both happiness and
sadness.

Stay busy and avoid having to deal with feelings. Some people find it better to keep their mind
busy and distracted from the sadness. One way to do this is start a new activity or find a hobby they
enjoy taking part in.

Some people find comfort in exercising and keeping their body healthy. This can be taking part in
sports such as walking, swimming, dancing, jogging to make you feel better.

It helps some people to talk about their loss. You may like to talk to your close family, friends or a
professional therapist or counselor.

Listen to music. Find songs that you are able to relate to. Some people like to sing as a means of
self-expression.
Some people are talented when it comes to putting their emotions into words or images. Writing in a
journal, blogging or drawing may be a good solution if you dont feel comfortable to talk to someone
about your feelings.

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Stress

If the ocean can calm itself, so can you. We are both salt water mixed with air.
-Nayyirah Waheed
Feeling stressed-What is stress?
Stress is the outcome of how you react to pressure externally or internally. External stress is from people around you and internal stress is the stress you put on yourself. The pressure may be coming from
schoolwork, social problems, family members or friends. A common source of pressure is striving to
get good grades and stressing that you wont and you will end up disappointing yourself and others
around you instead. You may also feel stressed when you feel like you are being left out and dont particularly belong anywhere. Everybody feels stress at times.
How does my body handle stress?
When there is pressure on you, your body deals with stress in dierent ways. For example you may
feel knots or butterflies in your stomach, sweaty hands or a dry mouth. If this happens to you, dont
worry, your body is doing what its meant to do, nothing unusual. Other signs of stress include feeling
worried or sad which may lead to crying. You may also find that it becomes a lot harder to focus or
concentrate on a task at hand.

46

Here are some things you may worry or stress about but remember it is totally normal and you are not
alone.

Am I too skinny and lanky?

Am I fat or overweight?

Why is my weight fluctuating so much?

Why do I have so many mood swings?

Why am I getting so emotional?

Do the clothes I buy look right on my body?

Are the things I buy up to date with trends?

Do my friends think Im cool?

Will my friends leave me if Im changing?

Am I going to be alone?

What causes stress?

Growing up there are many things that can cause stress, below are some:

Work assigned from school

Changes in your body. This can be your height, weight, body shape or body size.

Problems or misunderstandings with friends, partner or others.

Not being part of a group, feeling left out.

Having to move or have someone close to you leave.

Living in a dangerous area.

Peer pressure to do things you know arent right. For example to smoke drink or do drugs.

Having a family member or someone close to you whos sick/ill.

47

Changing schools, having to start over.

Not getting alone with your parents or constantly having fights at home.

Parents going through a divorce or separation.

Feeling lonely.

Taking too many activities and not having time to yourself.

Death of a loved one.

Above are just a few examples for multiple things that cause stress. It becomes harder to deal with
when more than one stressful thing is going on.
Is stress always a bad thing?
A small amount of stress may not be a bad thing and can have a positive eect! For example, if youre
taking part in a sports tournament, a small amount of stress can motivate you to play better. Stress
can also help to make sure you reach deadlines when it comes to work. It helps you to stay organized
and know what you have to get done and by when.
What are signs that you are feeling stressed out?
You can tell if you are stressed out if:

You find like you want to be alone most of the time.

You blame other people or things around you when something bad happens to you.

You find it dicult to sleep.

Not seeing the fun in activities and hobbies you used to like and enjoy.

Feeling overwhelmed because you have too many things that you need to get done.

Not seeing the positive or good side in situations.

Having stomachaches, headaches or migraines.

Feeling tired, restless, edgy or down in general.

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Post traumatic stress disorder

During your life it is likely that you will have to go through an experience or stressful event which can
lead to strong stress reaction in the victims. An example of an event can be a natural disaster such as
a tsunami, hurricane, tornado or a car accident, rape or an assault. Dierent people react to these
events dierently. For example some people may become cranky, depressed. Others experience insomnia or have constant nightmares relating to the event that took place. Some people may always
have flashbacks about the traumatic experience while other people have the event out of their minds
and do not think about it at all. Feelings that lead to this extreme type of stress include helplessness,
horror, fear or the constant thought that your life is in danger.
In order to go through this type of stress, you do not have to be the one that goes through the experience. You may just be a witness to the event or have been threatened with physical harm.
Post-traumatic stress disorder, also known as PTSD occurs once a person goes through a scary event
and experiences a high level of fear or anxiety after the event takes place. There are a variety of bad
events that can happen from things like a bad car accident to war.
To experience PTSD you do not need to be the person who was hurt in the experience. PTSD may
even be triggered by watching something scary on television. People usually feel a strong sense of
fear, fright or helplessness. For example, after the event of 9/11, it was found that a lot of people developed PTSD symptoms.
After going through a traumatic event, it is normal to feel super stressed. This means you may have
strong emotions like sadness, fear, you may feel jittery, have an abnormal sleeping and eating habit or
you may feel that it is dicult to concentrate on work or particular activities. People who experience
PTSD usually have a lot of images or thoughts about what happened. This may take place in the form
of nightmares too. PTSD is treatable if you can get the right support and care. It will allow the symptoms to subside in a week days or weeks allowing the person to move on with their normal life.
PTSD is dierent for everyone. When someone experiences PTSD the stress may be more intense and
last for more than a month. After a traumatic event takes place, people way experience PTSD straight
away or have a delayed response depending on how your body and brain reacts.

49

Below are a few signs of PTSD:

Constantly feeling sad, guilty or worried.

Feeling alone and isolated.

Lash out and have outburst of anger.

Nightmares

Flashbacks about what happened, having bad images in your head.

Feeling like the traumatic event is taking place again.

Thoughts of hurting others around you or yourself.

Feeling on edge.

Staying away from people or places that remind you of the event that took place.

PTSD can be treated by a doctor or mental health professional who has had previous experience and
education in treating people who have had PTSD. Treatment may include simply talking to them, particular medication or a combination of both.
Some ways you can handle PTSD
You may be both directly or indirectly aected by a traumatic event that took place in your life but it is
normal to feel concerned and anxious about your own safety and think about how you would react in
an emergency situation.
Here are some tips on what you can do to handle this amount of stress:
Always remember that things will get better and you will work and pass this point in your life. Remember that you may feel dierent as a person because of what has happened, you may feel lost and
things may be completely o balance in your life. Know that things will fall into place and life will calm
down and you will have a normal routine again.
Be honest about what you are feeling. It may seem like a better option to pretend that these particular
events did not take place, hence it will lead to bottling up a lot of emotions which will explode. It is
much better to be honest about your feelings and not hide or ignore your feelings. Know that it is com-

50

pletely okay to feel anxious, scared and confused. If you are able to accept these emotions it will help
you in the long run.
Keep calm by meditating, praying or listening to music. Once you go through a traumatic event it is
normal to feel the need or want to strike back at people who have caused you pain or people close to
your pain. Try to understand that by responding back with violence is useless and will not help. There
is nothing good that can come with being hurtful with words and actions.
Release your emotions by talking it out. You can reach out
to a trusted adult like your parents/guardians, counselors
or teachers about your emotions. It may be hard to find the
courage to go up and talk to them about it and to trust and
confide in someone with your thoughts and feelings. Although, it will help in the longer term. You should not have
to go through or experience a traumatic event alone.
Look inside yourself to find strength to keep you going.
Even though the event will most likely cause a lasting effect on you, know that the feelings will become less painful over time. By having to cope with the situation that occurred you will become a much stronger individual and you
will find that you will become better at handling stressful
situations. You could even end up appreciating and wanting to spend more time with your loved ones.

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Eating Disorders
Eating disorders are a mental illness where you try
to control the amount or kinds of food you eat. You
may become focused on not eating which hurts
the body. Eating disorders are real and treatable.
There are three dierent types of eating disorders.

Anorexia nervosa:
Someone who has this illness is afraid to gain
weight and thinks a lot about the food that is
eaten and sets up guidelines for themselves that
they need to follow. If they dont they will usually
feel guilty or bad about it. Anorexia is not just an
illness regarding avoiding to eat food but it is also
to do with using food as a means of starving to
feel more control in their life or as a way to ease
anger, anxiety or tension. In most cases, anorexia
occurs in females.

Kitchen. Petras Gaglias. August 26 2009.

Someone who battles anorexia has:

Low body weight in proportion to height. Low BMI (body mass index).

Has an intense fear of gaining weight.

Females who battle anorexia usually skip three menstrual periods in a row.

Bulimia nervosa:
Someone battling bulimia usually eats a lot of food in a short amount of time and then gets rid of the
food by purging to avoid gaining weight. This is called binge eating. Purging is making your body
throw up on purpose. You could also take laxatives which helps to speed up the movement of food
through the body.

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A person who is battling bulimia would usually feel like they do not have control over the amount of
food they consume. They usually exercise a lot to avoid weight gain and take pills, which cause them
to pee a lot, which also prevents weight gain.
The dierence between people who have bulimia and anorexia is that people with bulimia can still fall
within a normal range for their height and weight and have a normal BMI (body mass index).
People with bulimia fear gaining weight, try everything to lose weight or prevent gaining weight and are
usually extremely unhappy with their body shape and size and will go to extreme measures to change
that.
Binge eating disorder:
People who binge eat are people who eat an unusual large amount of food and feel like they have no
control over the food they eat or the amount. An example of binge eating is eating a whole box of
pizza or chocolate or a jar of cookies. The dierence between people who binge eat and people who
are either anorexic or bulimic is that binge eaters do not throw up their food, exercise a lot or eat food
in small amounts. Binge eaters are usually overweight or obese due to this.

Some signs of binge eating include:

Eating very quickly.

Eat even when you are not hungry.

Embarrassed about the amount you eat so usually find it more comfortable to eat alone.

Feel upset, guilty or even disgusted for overeating.

Eat to the point where youre uncomfortably full and may feel sick.
Road to recovery:
Although the road to recovery to fight eating disorders is hard, it is possible. The first step is accepting
that being skinny, having a thigh gap or a flat stomach will not bring you happiness, success of confidence. The recovery for bulimia and anorexia is about learning to:
Trust yourself.

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Accept yourself for who you are.

Listen to your body.
Love yourself no matter what.
Listen to your feelings.
Enjoy life.
Step 1: Admitting you have a problem and asking for help.
Although it can be scary and you might feel embarrassed to ask for help, it is still important to reach
out to a friend you trust, family member, counselor or a teacher which will start you on the road to recovery. Apart from this, you may feel more comfortable talking to a nutritionist or treatment specialist.
Once you have decided who you feel most comfortable talking to, arrange a time to meet up with them
when nobody else is around and discuss the situation you are currently going through with them.
When you do this, keep in mind that the person may react in many dierent ways. For example they
might not know how to react. They may feel shocked, confused or even angry. Despite this, stay patient and explain the thoughts in your head to them. When talking to them, below are a few things you
could mention:


When did the thoughts begin? When did you become concerned about exercise, weight
and food?


Have you begun to notice any physical changes? These changes could include heart palpitations, digestive issues, loss of hair and fatigue? Have there been any emotional changes? Have you
been getting more sad or moody?


In your opinion what is the best way for people around you to support you? Do you want
them to monitor your behavior or let them give you space?

Do you physically and mentally feel like you are ready to break out of the habit?

What was your motivation to lose weight in the first place? What was the driving force behind the thoughts? Are you trying to impress someone? What triggered it?
Step 2: Find a specialist
Being able to reach out to an experienced, health professional will really help your road to recovery.
Find someone who makes you feel comfortable and someone you feel like your thoughts are safe with.

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In order to find a health specialist you can ask your doctor, check with medical centers, ask counselors
at your school or search up places and people in your area online.
Step 3: Address health problems
Anorexia and bulimia can kill you but binging or purging can also cause medical defects. Health should
always be your top priority on your road to recovery. If you have assessed your physical well being and
notice something is wrong, it is important to go to the hospital to keep you safe and fix what is happening in your body.
Step 4: Make a long-term treatment plan
After making sure your health problems have been taken care of, you can focus on creating a longterm recovery plan. People who may help you with this include a nutritionist, social working, psychiatrist, psychologist or even a family doctor. By working together, you should be able to come up with a
plan that is able to meet all of your needs. Your plan may include things such as:

Family therapy

Medical monitoring

Eating disorder education

Nutritional counseling

Inpatient treatment

Individual or group therapy

A treatment program should address and track back to the roots of the problem and find a remedy for
it rather than only taking upon destructive habits. Focusing on the emotional triggers such as anxiety,
depression, fear and stress can help improve your situation in the long term.

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Feeling Suicidal
Why do some teens think about suicide?
Suicide is an option for some teenagers because once
youre in a stressful situation or if you are sad, its easy
to feel overwhelmed and believe that things will never
get better. Some events that can trigger this include the
death of a loved one or witnessing a lot of violence and
anger. Having to see your parents separate or go
through a divorce may also trigger strong feelings or
having a hard time coping in school with both grades
and social aspects. It is a lot to handle which means
that some teens may turn to drugs and alcohol.
Going through a break up or heart break may also
make you feel like you have lost a lot and no longer
know your purpose or whats important. You may feel isolated from the people you love such as family
or friends.
To feel sad, teenagers may not have a clear reason but every teen feels confused, sad and anxious at
dierent points. In order to move past dark times, it is important to reach out to people willing to help
you that love you. If you feel like you dont know who to talk to there are always counselors, teachers
and doctors that would be more than willing to help. Remember that you are not alone and never have
to go through dark times alone.
How common is teen suicide?
Among teenagers right now, suicide is one of the leading causes of death. The important thing you
should remember is that killing yourself is not a heroic act even though media often makes it seem like
it is. There is nothing to romanticize when it comes to hurting yourself. The problem with suicide is that
the person who goes through with it is not able to witness that suicide is not the answer to your problems but it will hurt and change lives of those around you. Know that there are always other ways to let
things out and killing yourself should not be an option.
How can you help a friend?
Suicide is an extremely important issue, therefore if you know anyone who has talked and considered
suicide, take it seriously. The first step to dealing with this is telling an adult who is able to help you
right away. This will help to take pressure o from you to deal with the situation alone. This may be a
tough decision because your friend may get mad at you, but it is always the best thing to do in the
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long term. If not, you can call a suicide hotline. It is very hard to talk a person out of suicide once they
set their mind to it and both ways will need a good, healthy support system. The support system will
most likely include other friends, family and professional help. Be there for them and listen to them, try
getting them to open up so they do not have to keep their feelings hidden. Listening and being there is
a reminder for them that they have someone who cares and gives importance about them.
What if you are having suicidal thoughts?
If you are having suicidal thoughts or considering it as an option, please gather the strength and courage to talk to an adult and get help straight away. You deserve to live and see your life get better. Experts and counselors will be able to talk through your problems and find plans and ways to pass the
hurdle in front of you. Experts will be able to guide you and recommend other people you can go to for
more help and support.
Although things in your life may seem like a mess and falling apart, remember that these rough
patches wont last forever. You may feel overwhelmed to the point that the only way you want to cope
with your life is to commit suicide for relief and as an escape, it is important that you know that you
can feel better and you will be able to reach a better place in your life. Turn to healthy ways to let
things out through art, writing or even music rather than drugs or alcohol. Drugs and alcohol will only
give you temporary relief and will leave you with more consequences. Before sleeping or when you
wake up, list and think about things that you are thankful and happy to have in your life. These things
can be both people and events that took place. Write goals and what you want to hope for the future.
This will keep you motivated and remind you that there is always a future and your life is important
What if someone you know attempts suicide?
The first thing to remember when someone attempts or passes away due to suicide, is that it is not
your fault and you should not beat yourself up or put yourself to be blamed for the situation. It is easy
to get caught up and pick out flaws and over think the situation but take a step back and know that
you are not the reason. All the feelings you could be feeling may be extremely overwhelming. A way to
deal with this is to talk to a trusted adult or find a hotline or a professional person to help you. It is important to have people you love and people you can trust during this period of time in your life.
"If you look at the fact that you have a roof over your head, food to eat, that you are young and beautiful and live in a peaceful land, then no, you have nothing to be sad about. But the fact is, we are not
only a physical body, we have souls too, and sometimes our souls get sick. If you break a leg you
dont just say I have no reason to have a broken leg and ignore it; you seek help. Its the same when
your soul gets hurt. Dont apologize for being sad."

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"If you want to kill yourself, kill what you dont like. I had an old self that I killed. You can kill yourself
too, but that doesnt mean you got to stop living." -Vargus
Despite what you may believe, you can disappoint people and still be good enough. You can make
mistakes and still be capable and talented. You can let people down and still be worthwhile and deserving of love. Everyone has disappointed someone they care about. Everyone messes up, lets people
down, and makes mistakes. Not because were inadequate or fundamentally inept, but because were
imperfect and fundamentally human. Expecting anything dierent is setting yourself up for failure.Danielle Koepke

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Social Phobia

Feeling anxious or worried:

Anxiety is a feeling you have when you feel overwhelmed or stress. Some good points of anxiety is
that it pushes you to work to your full potential. An example of this is when you need to make a
speech in front of a lot of people, it can motivate you to do better and practice more. However there is
a line between a healthy amount of anxiety and too much. If you begin to get anxiety when it comes to
everyday situations it can be bad for your mental health.
Having anxiety illness can make you over think a lot of situations causing you to feel scared or unsure
of what you are doing. The fears and worries come in the way of doing everyday things and sometimes the person may need a lot of mental preparation before doing something.

59

Social phobia
A particular type of anxiety is social phobia. Social phobia is the fear of being embarrassed or judged
by others. This fear can be so extreme that it can stop someone from doing daily activities or stop
them from going to school or even work. This is due to an extreme amount of over thinking and making up situation about what could go wrong.
An example of people with social phobia is the fear of eating or drinking in front of other people. They
may feel nervous, sweat or get butterflies in their stomach. Meeting new people or having to present in
front of a lot of people are things that could worry people who are suering` from social phobia. They
will most likely think about these situations a long time before they happen.
People who suer from social phobia are aware that they should not be so afraid about these activities
and things that they worry about but they are not able to control their fear. Usually this leads them to
purposely exclude themselves when they feel like they might be in a situation where they could embarrass themselves or in a situation that something could go wrong. Social phobia can be treated through
medication or taking to a doctor, nurse or through talk therapy.
On the other hand, having social phobia can help improve skills such as writing and usually stop them
from judging other peoples actions.
People with social phobia:

Are very self conscious and are always aware of what they are doing.

Anxious being around people and usually prefers to be alone instead.

Are afraid that other people will judge them and talk about it.

Worry about an event-taking place long before it does. Some people may lose sleep over this.

Have a hard time keeping sustainable, strong friendships.

Have physical symptoms such as heavy sweating, blushing, stuttering or trembling.

When does social phobia start?

Social phobia is common during child or teen years. The average age is about 13. Anxiety can be
treated by taking therapy and medication. This will usually make them feel a lot better and less alone.

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How can you tell your parents you feel anxious?

It may be hard to admit to having anxiety or depression to your parents but know that they are able to
find you help and will support you through tough and hard times.
The best way to bring it up is when your family is together and are all focused to the topic at hand. A
good time is after dinner when everyone is free and together. If you have a younger brother or sister it
may not be a good choice to discuss about this in their presence. Your sibling may ask questions
about what is going on. You could also set up a time or mention it along the lines of I have something
that has been on my mind and I would really like it if you could take some time to listen to me.
If you do not have a healthy relationship with your parents and you find it dicult to talk about feeling
anxious or depressed you can always turn to writing a letter or even sending an email to them. You
may find it easier to put your thoughts into words rather than a speech.
You waste your time questioning life instead of living life. When you order something and you say
Can I have? instead of Ill have. Before every act of impulse you ask, Should I? or What if..?
Stop questioning, kid. If you keep on doubting throughout your whole life, on your
death bed youll still be questioning what
could have been. Do you want to die wondering? Or do you want to live entirely?
I sit before flowers hoping they will train
me in the art of opening up. -Shane Koyczan

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Running Away

Running away is a common thought that runs through a lot of teenager minds. There are about one to
three million runaway and homeless kids in the United States. A lot of teenagers leave their legal
guardian without permission. As a runaway, teenagers are usually scared, hungry and have a large
chance of turning to committing crime in order to have basic necessities and needs.
To help talk someone out of running away try bringing up these questions with them:

Is there anything you can change at home to improve the situation? Is there a certain way you
can act or say to bring everyone together?

How will you be dependent on yourself?

Is it a realistic idea or will you get yourself into more trouble and end up feeling worse than you
are feeling at present.

Have you spent enough time thinking it through knowing that you can go through the idea and
have no regrets?

Whom can you depend on to help you and take you in if you need help?

How will you earn money without stealing or committing crimes?

Who will support you?

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When you go back home do you think the situation will get worse? Will your parents be disappointed and very angry?
Common reasons why teenagers think about running away are usually family problems such as behavior, strong points of views or opinions, dress code, academic issues or even choice of friends. Teenagers also may runaway to escape and avoid problems such as sexuality, pregnancy, bullying or people
they are afraid to see face to face. Falling into drugs and alcohol problems may also be a pushing
force behind wanting to runaway.
If physical, emotional or sexual abuse takes place at home it is a large reason behind why teenagers
leave home. If you are aware that your friend is going through anything like this, understand that it is
an extremely dicult topic to bring up and discuss, as it is very personal and could lead to many problems. However try to explain to them that this is not a time to run away but rather a time to get help instead.
If it is possible try to encourage them to approach a counselor, teacher or your own parents or any
other trusted adult whom they are comfortable with. Oer to help them through the problems including
going with them to talk about it or finding help. Be clear with them that whatever situation they are going through it is not their fault. Make sure that they understand that no one has the right to hurt them.
Signs that your friends may runaway

Academic performance decreases along with behavior leading to getting in trouble more often.
He/she may not attend school.

Brings up the topic of running away saying things along the lines of I dont think it will make any
dierence if I am not home

Starts carrying around or saving up a lot of money without having a purpose.

Has a lot of sudden mood swings which impact eating, sleeping habits and may isolate them.

Gives away clothes or items where they are able to earn extra money.

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3
Healthy Eating

Fruits. Petras Gaglias. 17th May 2010.

By controlling your appetite, you

control your life.

Maintaining a healthy diet is very important in having a balanced lifestyle because it can help make
you look and feel great. It is important that your body receives all the energy and nutrients it needs in
order to work to its full potential and grow properly.
Following a healthy diet plan will give you energy to go through the day looking great and fresh. Having
a good diet does not necessarily mean that you have to cut out all of your favorite foods from your
diet. Having a healthy diet means that you have the range of foods that provide all the nutrients you
need and calories depending on how active you are during the day.
Tips

Dont miss your breakfast. Some people have the idea that by skipping breakfast it will help them
lose weight but skipping meals is not a way to lose weight and neither is it healthy for you. It can lead
to missing out on essential nutrients. Eating breakfast has been proven to control your weight and
breakfast provides a lot of vitamins and minerals that are needed for good health. An example of a
healthy breakfast meal that will keep you going throughout the day includes whole grain cereal with
sliced fruit or berries. This is a yummy and healthy way to start your day fresh.

Try to have at least five portions of vegetables and fruits in the span of one day. Fruits and vegetables are sources of essential vitamin and minerals that your body needs in order to stay healthy. Although five portions seem like a lot, you can have fresh, thinned, dried, frozen or fresh fruit. Fruit
juices, smoothies can also be counted in the five portions. This will supply your body with a lot of good
nutrients

When you are going to have a snack choose something healthier rather than foods that are high
in saturated fat. Examples of food that are high in saturated fat include bacon, chips, French fries, sausages, chocolate, cake and pastries. If you snack on
these foods often, there is a larger chance that you will become overweight. Having a lot of unhealthy snacks may
cause an increases in cholesterol.
Drink enough liquid throughout the day. It is recommended to drink at least six to eight glasses of fluid each
day. Example are water, milk or natural fruit juices that are
not sweetened.

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Important facts about food

You have an increases risk of coronary heart disease if your diet is high in fat and/or salt.

Not having enough calcium may lead to a condition known as osteoporosis. This is when your
bones become brittle or weak.

Scientific evidence has shown that on average one third of cancers could have been prevented
by a change in diet. Cancers that could be prevented include stomach, colon and breast cancer. You
would need to have a diet that is high in fiber and low in fat.

Not having enough nutrients puts a strain on the liver. The liver is important as it absorbs all the
essential minerals and vitamins that the body needs to function. For good health it is important to keep
your liver in good shape. It is hard for the liver to cope with a large quantity of fat and alcohol. This can
lead to cirrhosis, which is a life threatening disease that causes the cells of the liver to die.

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By having an unhealthy diet, it has been shown that it can increase the risk of miscarriage. An unhealthy diet in this case includes a diet that is high in sugar, processed foods and fat.

It has been shown that an unhealthy diet has a relationship with PMS, food cravings, mood
swings, depression and anxiety.

Having an unhealthy diet can increase the risk of obesity and extreme weight gain. This is related
to low self-esteem, low self-confidence, poor mental health, poor physical performance and fatigue.

Having too much sugar in your diet can lead to too much glucose. Glucose is sugar that is carried in your bloodstream which circulates the body. This can lead to blood sugar problems such as diabetes. This also aects vision and fatigue.

Having too much refined sugar and added preservatives in your diet can lead to poor concentration, no focus and aggression. This is because foods that are high in sugar lack chromium. Chromium
helps to control sugar levels and when sugar levels are not in control it can lead to behavioral problems.
Not having the right diet can also aect your immune system making it easier to catch a cold or flu. To
keep your immune system working properly, it requires essential vitamins and minerals. This helps to
keep our bodies from being prone to infections and diseases.
Truth about what is in our food

Nachos (6 nacho chips with sour cream chili, cheese and guacamole)

-Protein 29 g
-Calories 674
-Carbs 42 g
-Fat 44g
-Fiber 2.5 g
Equivalent to 1/3 stick of butter and 7 and teaspoons of sugar.

8 chocolate chip cookies

-Protein 7.6 g

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-Calories 636
-Carbs 76 g
-Fat 33 g
-Fiber 4.4 g
Equivalent to approximately 3/8 of a stick of butter and 15 teaspoons of sugar.

Spaghetti (300 g serving)

-Calories 237
-Carbs 32 g
-Fat 5.7 g
-Fiber 3g
Equivalent to 6 teaspoons of sugar

Hot dog meal (1 hot dog + bun + large coke + large fries + ketchup)

-Protein 18 g
-Calories 1103
-Carbs 175 g
-Fat 35.6 g
-Fiber 8g
Equivalent to 2/5 stick of butter and 35 teaspoons of sugar.
What good food will do you for you
Having a good diet can.

Put you in a better mood

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Increase your vitality

Make your heart healthier and work better

Boost your ability to think

Reduce stress

Help to fight viruses and bacteria in your body

Help to make your body stronger to fight o natural killer cells to avoid common colds and flu.

Prevent headaches.

Prevent asthma attacks

Help your skin, nails and hair.

Supply necessary chemicals to help unclog arteries and/or reduce cholesterol levels.

Slows down your bodys natural deterioration.

Make you look great, feel great and confident.

What unhealthy food will do to you
Bad food will cause you to

Gain excessive weight

Make you feel lethargic and/or drowsy

Weaken your immune system which makes it more likely to catch common colds or flus.

Give you unhealthy looking nails, hair and skin.

Negatively impact your concentration and focus on several activities.

Give you mood swings.

Bloat, become gassy or get cramps.

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Weaken the joints in your body and clog arteries. This increases the chance of heart disease and
arthritis.

Have headaches.

More constant asthma attacks

Five benefits of eating healthy

There are many benefits of eating healthy. Below are a few reasons as to why eating healthy should be
a choice you make.
Keeps weight under control
By working out regularly and keeping a check on your diet and making sure to avoid junk food will help
to avoid excess weight gain and will allow you to stay at a healthy weight. It has been shown that
small choices such as deciding to take the stairs instead of the elevator or walking to a destination
rather than taking a motorbike can also help to control weight. Eating healthy and small proportions is
a good idea but if you are not able to control it you may find that you are rushing to fast food restaurants before lunch to keep your stomach full. It is recommended by the American Dietetic Association

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that you should incorporate at least five servings of vegetables

and fruits. Vegetables and fruits are low in calories but do have
a lot of nutrients, which will help to control your weight.
Lifts up your mood
By looking after your body, you look after your mind too. It has
been shown that physical activity stimulates chemicals in your
brain that allow you to feel happier, calmer and more relaxed.
For example by eating healthy and exercising regularly, your
body may look better and get in better shape which will help to
boost your self confidence and self-esteem allowing you to feel
happier with yourself. It has been proven by The American Council that short term exercise is a form of stress relief and will
help your thinking skills improve and grow. Mentally, if you are
able to make social connections it can also help your mental
health. You can build these connections through working out with other people, joining a club, joining
activities within your community or even simply going for a game of bowling or a movie! It helps to
keep the serotonin levels in your brain balanced keeping you active.
Fights sickness
By having healthy habits when it comes to eating and exercising can help to prevent multiple health
conditions. Examples of what can be avoided include high blood pressure, heart disease or even
stroke. It can also help with regulating cholesterol level in your body, Having a healthy cholesterol level
helps your blood to flow smoothly throughout your body, which decreases the risk of other cardiovascular diseases also. It has also been proven by The Mayo Clinic that with a mix of physical activity and
a balanced diet, you will be able to prevent health problems such as depression, arthritis, and diabetes.
Gives you energy
Eating food that is full in saturated fats or sugar can cause your energy levels to drastically drop making it hard to go through the day. By eating the right amount of food from all food groups will make
your body have enough energy to last the day and do all the activities that are necessary. You will not
feel lethargic or fatigued.
Working out several times a week will also improve your stamina, muscle strength. It helps the process
of cellular respiration because it helps your body deliver oxygen and nutrients such as glucose, which

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will make your cardiovascular system to work more eciently. It also allows you to avoid insomnia,
making it easier to fall asleep faster and allowing you to have deeper, relaxing sleep.
Improves longevity
By making good choices when it comes to your health increases your chances of living to an older
age. A study that has been going on for eight years shows that out of 13,000 people, those who
walked approximately 30 minutes every day reduced their chances of dying prematurely. On the other
hand, the rest of the people who decided not to exercise frequently had opposite results. Think of this
as motivation to keep walking and staying fit!
Small choices that can make a big dierence:
Keep a fruit bowl at home, which will make you want to snack on that instead of junk or unhealthy
food.

Eat healthy breakfast every day. This will avoid you being hungry in the morning and will cut you
down from snacking on other unhealthy snacks or junk food. A good meal that you can have for breakfast can be some fresh fruits, oats, healthy breakfast cereal with low fat milk and less sugar. You can
also have berries and yogurt.

Do not skip meals, you may end up binge eating or end up with an inconsistent eating schedule.

Reduce the portions of your meals.

Avoid adding large amounts of salt in your food.

Change the place where you usually go to meet friends. Instead of going to unhealthy places,
choose to go to restaurants that provide healthier choices.

Even if you go to a fast food chain, it is still possible to get healthier choices and you should still
be able to avoid food that is high in fat. Ask the people working at the fast food chain what the healthier things on the menu are.

Start cooking and by seeing how particular meals are made, you can modify the recipe to make it
healthier and more nutritious.
It is normal for people to create false beliefs and ideas in their head when it comes to multiple topics.
However, do not make food choices based on assumptions you have. Below are a few suggestions:

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Healthy berries are good for health: epSos.de (compfight)

Although a lot of healthier foods are more expensive than junk food, it is not the case for everything. Berries may be more expensive than chips but there are always other options and you will still
be able to find something good for your health that you can aord. Understand that the term healthy
does not have to have a direct correlation with being expensive.

You can try to make small changes in your diet and it will still matter and make a dierence. Examples are changing from white bread to brown bread, having wholegrain cereal instead of cereal full
of sugar, wholegrain muns or yogurt.

To be on a good diet does not mean you are not able to have any unhealthy foods at all. Being
healthy can mean giving yourself a break and treat once in a while.

Look at dierent recipes and cook the food by yourself to see that a meal cooked with fresh, organic ingredients is always better than a fatty burger or oily, soggy french fries.
How to be smart and still be able to eat healthy at school:
Salad is a good option and if your school has a salad bar you can always get a yummy salad for lunch.
However to be extra healthy do not add too much cheese or cold cuts. Also use regular salad dressing
or a dressing of your choice that is not too heavy. If your school does not have a salad bar, try suggesting it as an idea as it will be beneficial for a lot of students, not only you.

For snack try to avoid getting sugary treats that will not give you energy to last the whole day.
Avoid cakes, doughnuts, brownies or cookies and go for some fruits or vegetables instead. Every day
try to fill half of your plate with fruits or vegetables.

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If your school does not oer healthy choices that you like, try bringing food from home for lunch. This
will allow you to eat what you like and you will know exactly what is in your food. You can always experiment with your food and bring something dierent everyday!
Changing to a healthy lifestyle may be overwhelming because of all the choices but here are some tips
on how to make it a little easier.

Make small changes one by one. Do not be too drastic because you may get frustrated and no
longer want to continue following your diet.

Think about small changes that can make a large dierence in the long term. For example you
can switch from drinking coca cola to having lemon tea instead or change from ice cream to frozen yogurt. This way you can still enjoy your food but be healthier.

Set up small goals for yourself. For instance, dont eat until you finish a particular homework task
or while watching TV. Eat while doing these activities makes you eat more than usual because you are
too distracted to realize how much you have eaten. Also when you feel hungry you should eat rather
than starve yourself because you will most likely pick up anything near you to eat and there is a high
chance that it will not be the healthiest option.

Think carefully about your plan and possibly write it down, as it will help you remember it better.

If you do not make good eating choices, dont feel too disappointed and dont beat yourself up
either. We all make mistakes and choices that arent always the best. Its all about the eort you are
willing to put in to try again.
Make it a change at home too and try to get your parents involved. This way, as a family you can move
to better healthier choices and support each other along the way.
Healthy breakfast:
Get rid of sugary cereal: Instead of sticking to kid cereal, change to whole-grain cereal as there is a lot
more fiber. Having a banana and low-fat milk along with the cereal will be a good source of energy to
keep you going throughout the day.
Smoothies: Smoothies are a great option for a morning breakfast. Smoothies can be made from bananas, oranges, blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, watermelon, mango, apples and range of other
fruits.

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Protein powder: Having a whole-grain wae with peanut butter, orange, hard boiled egg is also an option that provides energy for the day.
Peanut butter and berries: Substitute bread with a whole grain mun instead. Spread 2-3 tablespoons
of peanut butter and serve with a cup full of strawberries. This will keep you fuller for a longer period of
time compared to the jelly/jam.
Trail mix: If you are going for a run or hike, a good option to give you enough energy is to mix 25 almonds, 2 and a half tablespoons of raisins and 1 cup of multi grain cereal (cheerios). Mix all of these
ingredients in a bag and shake.
Yogurt: Mix yogurt with a cup of blueberries and a cup of granola. It is recommended to use
Greek yogurt instead as it has more protein and has a creamier taste.
Oatmeal: Mix cooked oatmeal with a tablespoon of raisins along with cup of fresh raspberries or
strawberries.
Experiment with the recipes and modify it to best fit what you like. These are all good snacks to substitute normal snacks such as fries or chips.
What is emotional eating?
Emotional eating is when people turn to food to deal with their emotions to make them feel better. Its
very common to eat a whole bag of chips or a pack of cookies while feeling bored, stressed or upset
about a situation. However, it does have an impact on your over well being including your health. By

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knowing and understanding what causes emotional eating will allow you to break out of the habit leading to a healthier overall lifestyle.
Emotional eating is not always caused by negative feelings such as being anxious, bored, stress,
lonely but also positive feelings. For example, birthday cakes or desserts on Valentines day.
Although emotional eating can be tied in with tragedies that take place in your life, it is usually a way to
distract or seek comfort in food after a stressful day.
Physical hunger:

Can be satisfied with a variety of food.

Likely to stop eating once you feel full.

Does not give you any feelings of guilt after consuming.

Usually start to feel hungry gradually and eating can be postponed.

Emotional hunger:

Specific cravings, most likely ice cream, pizza or cookies.

Eat more than you normally would. No control over how much you eat, even if you are full.

Possibly give you the feeling of guilt afterwards because of consuming unhealthy food.

Feel the urgent and sudden need to eat.

Questions to consider:

Am I eating more often than I normally do?

Are my portions bigger than before?

Do I eat at unusual times throughout the day?

Do I feel anxious about anything occurring in my life? From a social event or work stress?

Did something take place in my life that is hard for me to cope with?

Do I see other members of my family turn to eating to help make them feel better too?

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Has there been a sudden increase in my weight recently?

Have I become overweight?

If you realize that you answered yes to many of the questions above, it may suggest that you turn to
eating as a coping method rather than a way to give your body energy.
Breaking the cycle:
In order to stop letting emotions and feelings out by turning to food, you will have to find other ways of
dealing with your thoughts.
Question yourself and your actions. For example, when you come home, before you follow your normal routine of walking to the fridge and grabbing a pack of m&m chocolates, think for a minute are
you really hungry? Do you find its dicult to concentrate or you are feeling fidgety? If you think you
are genuinely hungry, find a light snack such as a cereal bar, yogurt or fruits to keep your stomach full
before dinner. However, if you think that you are not really hungry, think about why it is part of your routine and try to break out of it by distracting yourself with something else in the meantime before dinner.
Eventually, this will become easier to do and break you out of the constant routine.
Tips to break out of the habit:
1. Think and explore reasons why youre eating and find an activity to replace it or another distraction. For example, if youre bored, instead of eating call or message a friend, relative or family member
instead. This will keep you busy and keep your mind o of things.
2. If youre feeling stressed, try meditating or joining a yoga class. This will keep you calm. You can
even throw pillows on your bed or blast music and dance around your room. Another example is to go
for a run or do exercises. This will hopefully get rid of your urge to eat.
3. It is easy for being tired to turn into hunger. If you are feeling tired try to sleep earlier and improve
your time management. Eating will not help if sleeping late is what keeps you feeling tired and fatigued.
4. If you are eating to avoid doing tasks, as a means of procrastination, push yourself to work because once you are done, your stress level will decrease.
5. Write down your thoughts or emotions. A way to keep track of how you are feeling and your progress, keep a mood and food journal. In the journal record how much you ate, what you ate and how

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you felt while eating it. This will help to distinguish what you ate because of genuinely being hungry
and what you ate out of boredom. This will help with the choices you make in the future.
Take a break and count to 5 before you start eating. It is normal to act quickly and decide upon what
to eat quickly without thinking it through because of being busy and stressed. This takes away time to
reflect on your actions and choices you make when it is time to eat. Instead of immediately eating
when you come back, take a couple of minutes to transition yourself from one mood to another. Reflect on what happened during the day and the feelings you experienced and decide if any of them are
triggering your thoughts to eat.
Smarter snack ideas:
Being healthy does not mean you are unable to eat yummy foods. Below is a list of food that are good
for you and taste good!

Mini bagels with low fat cheese and tomato sauce. This is similar to a pizza but healthier.

Baked potato chips with salsa dip.

Plain popcorn without butter or caramel.

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Pretzels, either with a small amount of salt or unsalted.

Low fat frozen yogurt as a substitute of ice-cream.

Veggies with a healthy dip.

Nuts (unsalted)

Whole-wheat crackers with Low-fat cottage cheese.

Frozen bananas, melon, grape or other preferred fruit.

Milkshakes with fruits and skim milk.

Baked apple slices sprinkled with cinnamon or covered with peanut butter.

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4
Drugs and Alcohol

Smoking thrills. Petras Gaglias. May 3 2009.

Drugs become addictive the day you decide

to use it to fill the gaps in your heart instead
of using it for short entertainment.

Tobacco:
What are e-cigarettes?
A lot of teenagers believe that e-cigarettes are safe because
they look high tech and seem to be a safe alternative to
smoking. Instead, E-cigarette consists of a high level of nicotine, which is highly addictive. E-cigarette usually looks similar to a normal cigarette but is battery-powered instead. The
cartridges in the e-cigarette contains flavorings, nicotine
and a range of other chemicals. Smoking e-cigarettes may
also be known as vaping because when a person inhales it,
the liquid changes from its current state to vapor.
However, there is not as much tar and carbon monoxide in
an e-cigarette compared to a normal cigarette because ecigarettes do not burn tobacco. However, e-cigarettes still
have a high amount of unhealthy doses of nicotine. Before,
e-cigarettes would be used as a way to help smokers quit. Now that more people are using them, scientists have investigated further into the health eects and have recently found out the negative impacts it has on our bodies.
What are the negative impacts?
When you use an e-cigarette, you are putting nicotine in your system (absorbed through your lungs).
Considering that nicotine was once used to kill insects, it is extremely unhealthy to have high doses of
it in your body. Nicotine aects your heart, brain and nervous system. Apart from this it also increases
your heart rate and blood pressure. This can then lead to arrhythmia which is an abnormal heart rate.
Arrhythmia can then lead to heart failure and death.
After smoking e-cigarettes for a while, the body begins to crave nicotine. Without nicotine in your system you may begin to feel tired or depressed and will need another dose of nicotine to have a stable
energy level again. Nicotine can also cause heart disease, stomach ulcers and blood clots.

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How to get out of the habit of smoking e-cigarettes:

The best way to avoid getting addicted to nicotine is to avoid smoking in the first place. However, if
you have started smoking and you need to find a way to kick the habit, below are a few tips that may
help.
Make a specific plan: Set a date that you will begin the quitting process. Make a specific goal, for example to smoke one less e-cigarette each day for a week. After you are successful with this, keep
cutting back until you no longer smoke.
Stay busy: In order to avoid thinking about smoking, take part in activities that takes your mind and
body o of it. For example you can start running, cooking, knitting, playing an instrument or working
harder on homework. If there are particular times you usually like to smoke, for example, before dinner or after a shower, be aware of that and make sure you plan activities to keep you busy during
those periods of time.
Delay giving in to a craving: When you feel like you are craving an e-cigarette, do something that will
take your mind o the craving. Say, wait to yourself and sooner or later the chances are the urge
will pass.
Keep focused on why you want to quit: When you decide to quit smoking, make a list of all the good
things that will come out of it. Examples of reasons could be your own health, the extra energy you
will have, better fitness or even the amount of money you will save. Keep the list somewhere visible
and read it to yourself every day. This helps to remind yourself of what is important instead of falling
into a craving and smoking instead.
Get support: When you feel the urge to smoke, talk to a trusted adult or your family for moral support. By getting other people involved in your plan to quit, it will strengthen your motivation to do so.
If you do not want to talk to your family or friends about this, you can always turn to an online support group. It may be easier for you to quit if one if your other friend(s) plan to as well. However, if
they decide not to, you can always ask them to avoid smoking in front of you.
Be good to yourself: Some people think that e-cigarettes does not harm other people around them
due to second hand smoke. By smoking you are harming yourself, thus the people you love. Be your
own best friend and give yourself a reward each time you avoid smoking.
Remember, other people have succeeded in their journey to stop smoking. So can you!

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Smoking cigarettes:
Smoking is a hard habit to break out of because it contains nicotine which is highly addictive. Nicotine works the same way as other
addictive drugs such as heroin. Your body and
mind become used to the nicotine in cigarettes that a person will eventually have to
keep smoking in order to feel normal. People
may start smoking for a range of dierent reasons from it being cool to having a family
member smoke. It has been said that nine out
of 10 tobacco users have started smoking before the age of 18. It is much easier to not
start smoking at all because a lot of teenagers
did not expect to get addicted.

How smoking aects your health:

There are no physical reasons to start smoking because the body does not need tobacco the same
way it needs water, sleep, exercise and food. The human body is smart and goes on defense when it is
being poisoned. This is why the first time people try smoking they feel a burning sensation or pain in
their throat and/or lungs. Some people even vomit the first couple of times they inhale tobacco.
The consequences of poisoning your body takes place gradually. In the long term, smoking can be the
reason for health diseases such as stroke, heart disease, emphysema and various types of cancer.
Smokers develop yellow teeth, lose bone density and gains wrinkles at a much faster rate. Smoking
aects the lungs which means that smokes are usually less active compared to non-smokers.
Apart from this, smoking can also aect fertility problems for both men and women. Girls increase the
risk of serious health problems such as heart attacks if they smoke while being on the pill or another
type of birth control. Smoking can also aect a person in the present. Some of these problems include:
Bad skin: Smoking can slow the flow of blood vessels. This stops nutrients and oxygen getting to the
skin making the person look unhealthy and pale.

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 Bad breath: Cigarettes may leave a person with persistent bad breath. This condition is called halitosis.
Reduced athletic performance: People who smoke are usually unable to compete with non-smokers
because the physical eects of smoking (decreased circulation, shortness of breath, fast heartbeat)
aect athletic performance.
Bad-smelling clothes and hair: The smell of smoke usually sticks on the smokers clothes, hair, furniture and
even cars. It is also usually hard to remove the smell of
smoke from these areas.
Increased risk of illness: Studies have shown that smokers are usually more prone to the flu, colds, pneumonia
and bronchitis compared to nonsmokers. Some teenagers also smoke to control their weight but by lessening
their appetite, it does not provide the body with enough
nutrients to allow the body to grow, develop or fight o
illnesses.
How to quit smoking in cigarettes:
Set a date: Decide on a day that you will quit smoking and mark it on a calendar. Apart from this,
you can also tell your friends and family, this will allow them to help support you through the process. Think of this day as the line between the unhealthy smoker you are not and the improved nonsmoker you will become.
Throw away all of your cigarettes: When you are surrounded by cigarettes or objects that remind you
of smoking, it makes it even harder to break out of the habit. Get rid of everything, lighters, ashtrays
and all the cigarette packs you have stored.
Wash all your clothes: By washing all your clothes, it will help to get rid of the smells from cigarettes.
This will help stop the temptation of smoking.
Think about your triggers: Think about what times during the day you usually smoke. For example,
after a shower, when youre at your best friends house or when you are walking to get food. When
you put yourself in a situation where it feels automatic to smoke, it is a trigger. Once you are able to
figure out what triggers you, break the link. For example, if you enjoy smoking after a meal, go for a
walk or talk to a friend after eating instead. You can also change the place to avoid smoking. For example, instead of sitting outdoors so you can have a smoke, sit inside the restaurant instead. An-

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other option would be to substitute something else for cigarettes. For example, having a lollipop,
mints, gum, could help to break the habit.
Handling withdrawal:
When you quit smoking, it is likely to have physical symptoms if your body is addicted to nicotine.
Some feelings you may experience include:
A desire to consume more food than usual
Lack of energy
Stomachaches
Headaches
Sore throat
Dry mouth
Depression
Jumpiness
Crabbiness
All of these symptoms will eventually pass, stay patient. Try your best not to fall back into the habit otherwise the withdrawal will take a longer period of time.
Staying busy is a great tip because it distracts you from thinking about smoking. Staying active and exercising is also a great distraction because it keeps your energy level high and weight down.
Some people have also found that it is easier to quit gradually. This means that you would decreases
the number of cigarettes you smoke each day. This may either work eciently for you or not help at all.
However there is no harm in giving it a try.
Another option would be to talk to your doctor about treatments such as nicotine replacement inhalers, nasal sprays, patches or gums. The patch is the easiest to use while the other treatments oer a
faster kick of nicotine. By consulting your doctor, he/she will be able to suggest a solution that would
work best for you.

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If you fall back into the routine of smoking, its okay. It happens. Making large changes can have false
starts. For example, many people are able to successfully quit their habit for weeks or even months
and have a strong craving out of nowhere and eventually give in. You could also find yourself in a situation that triggers you to start again. Just because you smoked again does not mean you have failed, it
simply means you are human. There are three ways to get back on track on your journey to quit smoking.
Think abut your slip as one mistake. Consider possible reasons for why it happened, move on and do
not dwell on it.
Did you become a heavy smoker after one cigarette? Probably not. It happens over time and remember that one cigarette did not make you a smoker in the first place. Likewise, having a couple cigarettes after you stop smoking does not make you a smoker again.
Remind yourself about why you quit and how you have been successful so far. You can do this for
yourself or having a close friend or family member you talked to regarding this topic support you.
Quitting smoking is extremely dicult and you should definitely reward yourself. Some possible suggestions can be to keep money aside that you would normally spend on cigarettes and buy yourself a
gift card or go get a nice meal after not smoking for a week or two. Celebrate again every month or
year. You deserve it.
Link to online journal to help you break out of your habit:
http://kidshealth.org/teen/misc/stop_smoking_guide.html
Secondhand smoke:
Secondhand smoke is smoke that is from the floating end of the cigarette, cigar or pipe. This is called
side-stream smoke. Apart from this, secondhand smoke is also the smoke that the smokers exhale,
mainstream smoke. Although secondhand
smoke seems to be harmless, it still contains
thousands of chemicals. These chemicals include, hydrogen cyanid, arsenic and ammonia. Most of these chemicals are carcinogens
which means that they can cause cancer. Secondhand smoke increases a persons risk for:
Heart disease
Cancer
Bix. Petras Gaglias. September 1 2007.

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 Bronchitis, pneumonia or other respiratory infections

Coughing, sore throats, sneezing, sniing
Asthma. It can trigger asthma attacks for people who already suer from it
As a whole, secondhand smoke can impact a person in the future but also in the present. This can be
things such as the impact on the persons performance when it comes to sport or being fit.
What can you do?
There is a high chance that you know someone who smokes. It is never healthy to inhale tobacco
smoke and even short-term exposure can impact your body. If you do not smoke but are around people who do, ask them to take all their smoke breaks outside away from other people, especially anyone pregnant or young kids. Smoke from cigarettes still linger in the air for hours even after being put
out. You should also tell them to wash their hands and change their clothing before going home because smoke sticks to people and their clothes. Another recommendation would be to tell them to never smoke in a car with other people. The person may exhale the smoke through the window of the car
but it hardly makes a dierence on the negative impact it has on
other people.
People make the decision to smoke and you have the right to decide
to walk away from a smoker too. Take a stand on secondhand smoking to improve your health and it might even possibly help the smoker
break out of their habit too.

Alcohol:
Almost 80% of high school students have tried alcohol.
Deciding whether to drink is a personal decision that we all have to make individually.

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What is alcohol?
Alcohol is fermented grains, fruits or vegetables. Fermentation is a processes which uses yeast or a
bacteria to change sugars in the food into alcohol. Alcohol is a natural product but is dangerous because once it is in your bloodstream, it aects the central nervous system which controls all body functions. As the human brain is still developing during our teenage years, alcohol as an impact on our development and growth.
How does it aect the body?
Alcohol is a depressant. This means that it slows down the function
of the nervous system in our body and blocks messages that are being communicated to the brain. This then impacts the persons movement, vision, hearing, emotions and perceptions. If a person consumes a small amount of alcohol, it will allow them to feel less anxious but more alcohol results in intoxication. People who over-drink
usually lose their coordination and are often confused. Depending on
the person and the way their body reacts would either cause the person to be friendly, talkative, upset, angry or aggressive. People are
told not to drink and drive because with alcohol in your system, your
reaction time is drastically slowed down.
When large amounts of alcohol are consumed in a short period of time, the person may get alcohol poisoning. This leads to vomiting, diculty breathing, seizures, low blood sugar, unconsciousness or even
death.
Why do teens drink?
To feel older
To fit in
Curiosity
To feel good, relax and relieve stress

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Why should you avoid drinking?

The punishment is severe: Teenagers who drink underage are more likely to get in trouble with the
law. This is because you will be more likely to get yourself into dangerous situations such as getting
involved in fights or crimes. Drinking often can also aect your participation in school because it can
aect a students ability to achieve high grades along with physical performance because of a lack of
coordination.
You may look stupid: While you are intoxicated, your nervous system changes which may make you
do something stupid or embarrassing such as throwing up on someone or saying something you do
not mean. Drinking also leads to a hangover which does not feel nice the next day.
Alcohol puts your health at risk: Teenagers who drink are more likely to be sexually active and have a
higher risk of having unprotected sex. This can result in sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy or
even death. The risk of injuring yourself also drastically increases when you are intoxicated as you do
not have control over your actions. Being intoxicated also increases the risk of being involved in a
car crash, suicide or homicide. Drinking also makes you gain a lot of weight and experience health
problems. People who drink heavily for a long duration of time, damage their organs including the
brain, heart and liver.
How can I avoid drinking?
If you do not want to drink but feel pressured from your friends to do so, it can be hard to say, no,
thanks. Instead you can try dierent strategies to avoid consuming alcohol. You have the option of either saying no without an explanation or some people find that giving a reason works better. For example you can say, I am already feeling sick, I have a football game tomorrow or I have to wake
up early, I think I will pass tonight.
If you feel that saying no to alcohol makes you feel bad, you can always blame it on another adult or
your parents. You can mention things such as, no, my coach will know and get very angry or my parents are almost here, I do not want to get in trouble for drinking again. This might be easier to help
you get out of this situation. However, if you are going to a party that you know will have alcohol, think
about what you will say or do in advance. You can plan out signals with your friends when you need
help or when you need to leave. You can make back up plans about what to do rather than drinking.
For example if you do not feel like going out, you could always have a movie night or bowling night instead. You can always have en equal amount of fun doing something without having alcohol involved.
Usually teenagers with a higher self-esteem are less likely to fall into the trap of underage drinking and
peer pressure.

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Where can I get help?

If you think you have a drinking problem, reach out to get help as soon as possible. The best way to
go through with this is to talk to a trusted adult. If you do not feel comfortable talking to your parents,
it may be more suitable to talk to a doctor, counselor or another family member instead. It is hard to
talk to an adult but having someone support you through the journey can really help and motivate you.
What if you are concerned about someone elses drinking?
There is a chance that you are living in the same household as somebody else who drinks a lot or
drinks often. This could result in feelings such as anger, fear and sadness. Being able to control or
stop drinking completely is dicult without any outside help. Remember that this does not mean these
people do not love you or care about you. Alcoholism is an illness that needs to be battled just like any
other illness.
People who face drinking problems cannot stop drinking until they admit and accept that they have a
drinking problem and reach out for help. This can make family members and friends feel hopeless
about the situation. On the other hand, remember that there are many places to go to for help such as
talking to a relative, older sibling or guidance counselor. Professional organizations have also been set
up to help tackle issues related to drinking.
If a friend of yours drinks too much and is starting to become an issue, try your best to keep them safe and out
of trouble. A way you can do this is to make sure a
friend of yours who has consumed alcohol does not
drive or go home alone. Apart from taking care of them,
make sure you protect yourself too. Make sure you do
not get yourselves in any dangerous situations such as
getting into a car with a driver who is under the influence. Instead, ask a sober adult to drop you home instead or call a cab to drop you instead but avoid getting
into cabs alone, especially late at night. If you do, make
sure you send the license plate of the vehicle to a friend
or family member in case anything goes wrong.
If you want to drink and the amount you drink is a personal decision that should not be influenced by anyone
else. Keep in mind that it is still possible to enjoy a party
or event without drinking. On the upper hand, if you do not consume alcohol your nervous system will

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still work properly meaning you will be able to remember all the events that took place during the day/
night.
What is binge drinking?
Binge drinking means that a person consumes a large amount of alcohol over a short period of time.
This is the same context as binge eating (a specific period of uncontrolled overeating). An example of
this is drinking four and five drinks in a row on a day and doing this approximately three times in two
weeks.
Why do people binge drink?
Drinking is displayed and advertised to be attractive and fun by liquor stores, alcoholic beverage companies and bars. It is easy for a teenager to get sucked into this trap due to peer pressure as well.
Apart from this, other reasons why people drink include:
Theyre curious and want to know how it is like to drink alcohol.
They want to feel older and more mature.
They turn to alcohol as a way to reduce stress although it can
end up being an additional source of stress.
They believe that it will make them feel better, happier and
lighter even though you will most likely wake up sick and hungover the next day.
If you think someone you know has
alcohol poisoning, take them to the
nearest hospital straight away.
Risk of drinking:
Many people do not consider the negative aspects to drinking.
People often do not think about throwing up, passing out or being hung-over. Instead they focus on the fun and crazy events
that will probably take place during the night. It is important to keep both the positive and negative aspects in mind.

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Alcohol poisoning:
Alcohol poisoning is the most life-threatening eect of binge drinking. Binge drinking aects the
bodys involuntary reflexes (breathing and gag reflex) which means that a person may die by choking
to death on his/her vomit. You can tell if someone may have alcohol poisoning if he/she has the following symptoms:
Inability to be awakened
Seizures
Bluish or pale skin
Irregular and slow breathing
Low body temperature
Extreme confusion
Vomiting
Impaired judgment
By binge drinking, your judgement is impaired, causing you to take risk and get yourself into situations
you normally would not be in if you were in a sober state. These decisions could include, having unprotected sex or drunk driving.
Physical health
Studies have show that the more you binge drink, the higher chance you have of becoming overweight
along with having high blood pressure before the age of 24. For example, one normal sized can of
beer contains an average of 150 calories. Imagine how many calories that would add up to if you are
drinking four to five cans an occasion.
Mental health
It has been observed that binge drinkers usually have a harder time in school and often end up dropping out or failing. This is because drinking aects sleeping routines and if you stay up late at night, it
will be harder to concentrate during the school day. This can lead to missing out on important information or not being able to think straight while taking a test or completing an assessment. You may also
find that the more a person drinks, the more their personality changes. They may become more

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grumpy or angry and only prioritize going out and drinking. This often causes close friends to drift
away if they do not share the same priorities.
Drugs
Caeine:
Caeine is a naturally produced drug that is made from leaves and seeds of a variety of plants. It can
also be made artificially and added into several types of food. Caeine is classified as a drug because
it stimulates the central nervous system which increases ones alertness and awareness. Caeine is
able to provide a temporary energy boost and elevates a persons mood.
Caeine can be found in tea, chocolate, soft drinks, coee and some prescribed medicine. Caeine
has a bitter taste and goes through a process to lessen the bitter taste before adding it in things we
drink or eat. It is common for teenagers to consume caeine from soft drinks or energy drinks. Caffeine is not stored in your body but the eects can last up to 6 hours.
Drink/food/
supplement

Amount of
drink/food

Amount of
caffeine

Red bull
energy drink

8.3 ounces

80 mg

Mountain
Dew

12 ounces

55 mg

Pepsi

12 ounces

38 mg

7-up

12 ounces

0 mg

Iced tea

12 ounces

70 mg

Dark
chocolate

1 ounce

20 mg
(average)

Milk
chocolate

1 ounce

6 mg
(average)

Information from:

Many people have said that caeine usually increases

their mental awareness but having too much caeine can
cause anxiety, dizziness, headaches and the jitters. Caffeine can cause irregular sleep patterns, keeping you up
late at night.
The amount of caeine has dierent eects on a person
depending on the person itself. Usually a smaller person
would need a less amount of caeine to experience the
side eects compared to a larger person. The eect it has
on the person also depends on how much caeine you
usually consume. For example if you drink coee often, in
order to feel the eect, you would need a larger glass
compared to someone who rarely drinks coee.

http://kidshealth.org/

Caeine can cause the body to lose calcium which leads to gradual bone loss. It is important to drink
milk if you consume a lot of caeine otherwise you are at risk for getting osteoporosis. Additionally, caffeine can cause certain heart problems and may react with some specific medication.

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As long as you consume caeine at a moderate level, it should be safe. A moderate amount of caeine
a day would be approximately 200-300 mg. However you should still not consume caeine daily because there is a high risk of having your body become dependent on caeine and you might have to
experience withdrawal symptoms such as headaches and tiredness.
Below is a table with information on how much caeine is in your drink:
Cutting back
If you feel like you are consuming too much caeine in your daily routine, cutting back gradually would
be a good option. If you cut back suddenly, you will most likely feel tired and/or irritable. Try replacing
sodas and coees with fruit smoothies or even just water. Keep track of how many caeinated drinks
you have each day and substitute one with a caeine free alternative. Try going through with this plan
for a week or two. If you feel like you are still drinking too much caeine, substitute another drink.
Keep repeating this process until you are able to bring your daily intake level to less than 100milligrams. After decreasing your intake of caeine, you might feel more tired but this may mean you
just need more sleep rather than additional sodas. Usually your energy level will return back to normal
within a few days.
Amphetamines:
Amphetamines are stimulants which accelerate functions in the brain and body. They usually come in
the form of a pill or tablet.
Street names: Bennies, dexies, speed, uppers
How theyre used: Swallowed, inhaled or injected.
Eects and dangers:
The drugs hit with a fast high after being either swallowed or snorted. This makes the person feel energized, powerful and alert.
Can cause high blood pressure, increase heart rate and breathing, can cause shaking, headaches,
blurred vision, sleeplessness and sweating.
May cause intense paranoia and hallucinations as a result.
Addictiveness: Amphetamines are highly addictive and people who have stopped say that they experienced anxiety, intense cravings for the drugs and aggression.

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Cocaine and crack:

Cocaine is a crystalline power made from dried leaves of a coca plant. It is white in color. Crack is
made from cocaine and looks like white pellets.
Street names: Snow, blow, nose candy, coke, big C
How theyre used: Inhaled through the nose or injected into the blood steam. For crack, it is heated
and the vapors are then smoked.
Eects and dangers:
Increases heart rate, breathing rate, blood pressure and body temperature.
The first time you inject or snort either cocaine and crack, you may have a heart attack or suddenly
stop breathing. Both these drugs can kill you even after one try.
By injecting drugs (cocaine) you can get hepatitis B or C or HIV/AIDS if you are sharing needles that
have not been cleaned with someone else. Snorting can also cause intense nosebleeds or damage
the tissue inside your nose. For example, it can cause a hole inside the linking of your nose which
will be extremely painful.
Addictiveness: Both the drugs are very addictive and after even one try, your body becomes used to it
and you begin to have both physical and psychological cravings. This makes it even harder for the person to stop using these particular drugs.
DXM (Cough and cold medicines)
Multiple prescribed medicines contain dextromethorphan (DXM) which can cause hallucinations, out
of body experiences and loss of motor control if taken in large amounts.
Street name: Candy, C-C-C, dex, drex, red devils, velvet, Vitamin D, triple c, rojo, robo, tussin
How theyre used: The medicines contain DXM can come in multiple forms such as syrups, lozenges,
capsules, gel caps or tablets which are then swallowed. However DXM can be extracted and changed
into powder form which is then snorted into the system.

95

Eects and dangers:

Large doses can cause confusion, impaired judgment, dizziness, paranoia, nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, high blood pressure, numbness of body parts (fingers, toes), itchy and dry skin, brain
damage or even death.
Some cough syrups have other medications rather than just DXM. Having a large amount of these
medicines can cause serious sickness such as liver damage or negative eects on the heart.
Addictiveness:
Usually people who use cough or cold medicines to get high become psychologically dependent on
them because they enjoy the high so much that they usually do not want to stop even though the body
is not physically addicted to the substance.
Depressants
Depressants calm and relax muscles. Many types of depressants such as valium and xanax are able to
be purchased legally. They usually come in the form of colorful tablets or capsules.
Street names: good balls, barbs, ludes, downers
How theyre used: The tablets or capsules are swallowed.
Eects and dangers:
When prescribed by a doctor and by taking the right amount, you will feel more calm and relaxed
rather than aggressive and angry.
Having a large dose can lead to death. The person may stop breathing.
If you take too much, it may result in slurred speech, lack of coordination, confusion and tremors.
If you mix alcohol and depressants, it will greatly increase the risk of overdose thus death.
Addictiveness: Likely to become addicted both physically and psychologically.

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Ecstasy (MDMA)
Ecstasy comes in the form of a capsule, power or tablet. It is usually available at dance clubs, concerts or raves. It is a popular party drug among teenagers.
Street names: X, Adam, E, Roll, XTC
How its used: Swallowed or snorted. Depends if it is in the form of a tablet or powder.
Eects and dangers:
Makes emotions a lot more intense, both negative and positive feelings.
Can cause cramps, blurred vision, sweating, chills and nausea.
Increased heart rate.
Raises the temperature of the body, this can result in organ damage or death.
Users are likely to experience depression, anxiety, paranoia and confusion after the high wears o.
Addictiveness: Teenagers usually become psychologically dependent on the drug because it makes
them feel good, helps to deal with stress and life. On the other hand, the physical addictiveness of ecstasy is still unknown.
Heroin:
Heroin is produced from dried milk of an opium poppy. This plant is also used to create narcotics
which is a class of painkillers such as morphine. Heroine can be either a white or dark brown powder,
tar like substance.
Street names: Smack, big H, junk, horse
How its used: Heroin can be inhaled, smoked or injected.
Eects and dangers:
Gives you euphoric feelings and these feelings are more intense if heroin was injected. The high is
then normally followed with vomiting, stomach cramps, nausea and/or drowsiness.
Users feel the need to constantly take heroin to feel the high for a long period of time.

97

 Heroin can lead to scarred veins, dry skin, breathing problems and chronic constipation.
People who infect heroin have a chance of getting infections such a HIV/AIDS or hepatitis if they
share needles with other people around them.
Addictiveness: Heroin is very addictive and is an easy drug to overdoes on because you dont always
realize how much youve had and you are constantly wanting to have the feeling of being high. Withdrawal produces symptoms such as vomiting, muscle pain and insomnia making it very dicult to
stop.

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5
Focusing in school

Discover yourself, learn about yourself.

Tips for being able to focus in school:

1. In a classroom sit in the front-just because you decide to sit in front does not label you as a nerd.
It will keep you away from distractions such as students who are coughing, texting, chatting or whispering in front of you.
2. Participate-Participating in class and engaging your teacher in conversation builds your concentration. Try to answer hard questions; do not be afraid to raise your hand. The more engaged you are
in a class, the more youll want to concentrate. By starting discussions, it is a way to trick yourself into
getting interested enough though youre not.
3. Take good notes-Taking notes during a lecture will help to keep you on task. It will also allow you
to refer back to your notes after the class. This will become particularly useful as a study method before a test or exam. It may help to color coordinate your notes or underline important key words and
make marks on what you need to further look into or study. Although this is an organized way, it may
not be a good idea if you are an auditory learner.
4. Turn o your phone-It will help to turn your phone completely o rather than on vibrate. This is because getting a text from a fried may be very distracting and you may have urges to check social media sites such as Facebook or Instagram.
5. Have a healthy breakfast-When youre hungry; it makes it hard to concentrate. This is because
your focus will change and you will probably think about the next meal you want to eat, You may find
yourself staring at a clock counting down the time before your next break. To stop this, it will be a
good idea to grab a bite before going to class.
6. Sleep well-To make sure you are able to concentrate in class, get a minimum of eight hours of
sleep. Its dicult to fight fatigue making it important to get enough sleep the previous night.
7. Get rid of the jitters-If you are a kinesthetic learner and you dont have permission to move
around the classroom, it could be a good idea to get rid of your energy before going into class. For example you can run around the library or race up stairs. You can even decide to walk to school or take a
bicycle. This way by getting rid of your energy, youll be able to concentrate better.
8. Reward yourself-If you do well it is important to give yourself a break and reward yourself with
something. This can be when you get a good grade on a test or when you are able to concentrate. You
can treat yourself to getting your favorite snack, drink or allowing yourself to have a sleepover with
friends. This will keep you motivated to always put in eort.

100

9. Change it up-If you are starting to find it dicult to concentrate again, try changing something to
keep you interested again. For example you can change your pencil, pen or change the position youre
sitting in. You can ask to leave class for water and having a small stretch. This will help to give you a
break from the monotony. These are small changes that can drastically help.
10. Listen to music-Music can help to clear and refresh your mind. This will improve your productivity
in class. A good time to do this would be during break times, in between classes.
11. Think about your future-Stay excited about your future and remind yourself of your dreams and
where you want to be. Think about what you want and what you need to get there. This will give you
motivation to stay focused and make smart choices.

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6
Quotes

The main thing in life is not to be

afraid to be human.-Pablo Casals

You should not

but dead weights,

have to rip yourself

even if they were

into pieces to keep

once a part of you.

others whole. -Emma Blecker

But if I could tell you anything now, it would be

this:

A jug fills drop by drop -Buddha

You have to be odd to be number 1 -Dr. Seuss
Wake up early. Drink coee. Work hard. Be ambitious. Keep your priorities straight, your mind
right and your head up. Do well, live well and
dress really well. Do what you love, love what
you do. It is time to start living.
If you had a friend who spoke to you in the
same way you sometimes speak to yourself,
how long would you allow that person to be your
friend?
One. Do not promise when youre happy.
Two. When you are angry, do not respond.
Three. Do not decide when youre sad.

It doesnt hurt to lose dead skin

that was once a part of you.
It shouldnt hurt
to lose people
who are now nothing

if your body is a map, there are places inside it

you have never seen. Theres an ocean of
strength hiding somewhere inside your ribcage
waiting to be discovered and named as the next
great world wonder.-Meggie Royer
"Dont ever feel bad for making a decision that
upsets other people. You are not responsible for
their happiness. You are responsible for your
own happiness. -Isaiah Henkel
Dont live the same year 75 times and call it a
life." -Robin Sharma
Its a lot easier to be angry at someone than it
is to tell them youre hurt. -Tom Gates
You can look at a scar and see hurt, or you can
look at a scar and see healing."- Sheri Reynolds
The more you know who you are, and what you
want, the less you let things upset you.Stephanie Perkins
Just because someone desires you, does not
mean that they value you. Read it over. Again.
Let those words resonate in your mind.
Do not look for a sanctuary in anyone except
yourself.-Buddha

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who you are or what you stand for. Friends dont

tear down, they build up.
Mosaics are made from broken pieces but theyre
still works of art and so are you.
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover
that the prisoner was you.-Lewis Swedes
A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best
cures for anything.
1. When your friends ask you to hangout, and you
dont feel like it, dont go. Dont ever do things halfway or do something that makes you uncomfortable. With everything, give all of yourself, even the
pieces you never knew existed.
2. It is okay to not know. Everyone always despises the phrase, I dont know but no one tells
you that it is okay to not know. The becoming is
more important than the being, anyways.
3. If someone ever makes you feel less, in any way,
you have every right to walk away. You have every
right to cut out toxic people in your life. To close
the door on people who make you feel bad about

4. Loss is always going to happen. Just like paint

will always chip and rain will always fall, loss will
always be part of life. No matter how much I dont
like it, or avoid it, it is going to walk my way at several times in my life. Learn to embrace it and learn
to get closure.
5. Give yourself a chance. Stop saying, I dont
think I can or But what if I am not able to? and
give yourself a chance. This may be clich, but try
to believe in yourself. When you get older, your
knees wont work the same and you wont have
the best memory, and you are going to wish youd
given yourself a chance years sooner.
6. Fall in love. Dont be guarded before you fall in
love. You could fall in love three times and still not
find the right one, but none of it is going to make
the one matter less. Dont fall into that idea that
your first love has to be your best love. Fall in love
as many times as it naturally happens.

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7. Firsts are going to be messy. First loves, first

kisses, first dates, first failed tests, first college
class, first time you drive a car, first time you ride
a plane - first times were made to be imperfect.
Just because its messy and all over the place,
doesnt mean it cant be good or worthwhile.

10. If you arent happy where you are, change it.

Quit your job, move, become a vegetarian,
get a new hobby, pick up an old hobby, whatever you do - make sure it benefits you. Life
is too short to not be alive, to not be passionate, and overflowing.

8. You want another scoop of ice-cream? Go get

it. Get three more scoops of ice-cream if that is
what you want. Fat is not the opposite of beautiful and it is not the opposite of happy. Dont let
anyone tell you that your body type isnt beautiful. Beauty is a social construct, create your
own, become your own.

One day it just gets better. Theres no explanation or reason why. You just wake up and youre
not angry anymore.

9. Let yourself be alone. Loneliness is not a bad

thing. It is healthy and normal. Everyone needs
to spend a good portion of their life alone. We
learn who we are when we are alone; life is less
crowded and more clear when we are alone.

105

Some people are as fragile as butterflies and

sensitive and its your responsibility not to
destroy them. Just because you can.-Marisha
Pessl
At this age, were often haunted by the idea
that we will never amount to anything. We worry
about college and what well do after, what we
want to do with our lives and if well be successful. We lay down on our beds, staring up at a
blank ceiling, wishing we could do something important, wishing that your life was a lot better
and then youll get upset and disappointed in
yourself because with what youre doing with
your life at the moment, those haunting thoughts
might come true. But what are you doing to actually make sure that youll end up having successful and happy lives in the future?
Instead of mourning all those days youve
wasted being unproductive and not doing anything good for you or your future, get up and do
something about it.
Open up your textbook and make an attempt at
getting an A on your next report card. Dont put
things o for later because youre too lazy if
you do, it might become a bad habit you wont
be able to get rid of and it might aect you later
on in the future when you go to college or when
you get a job. Lessen the time you spend on so-

cial networking sites and the time you spend doing unproductive things, but at the same time,
make sure you dont turn into a workaholic;
good grades and productive days are great
but if you dont make time for yourself, youll regret it. Surround yourself with people who talk
about ideas, who inspire you and who are good
for you. Be yourself, you wont get anywhere in
life without originality and by pretending to be
someone youre not.
Help yourself as early as now. Youll be thanking
yourself in the future.
A Thank-You-Note
You have said
all the things
I need to hear
before I knew
I needed to hear them.
To be unafraid
of all the things
I used to fear,
before I knew
I shouldnt fear them.-Lang Leav
You cant keep dancing with the devil and ask
why youre still in hell.

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"I am thankful for the dicult people in my life.

They have shown me exactly who I dont want to
be."
"And its hard to hate someone once you understand them." -Lucy Christopher
"Note to self: every time you were convinced
you couldnt go on, you did."

Food doesnt taste better or worse when documented by Instagram. Laughter is as genuine
over Skype as it would be sharing a sofa. Pay
attention. Take in nature, hold someones hand,
read a book. But dont ever apologize for snapping a photo of a sunrise after a hike, or blogging about the excitement of having a crush, or
updating your good-reads account. All of these
things are good and should be celebrated. Smile
at strangers on the sidewalk and like your
friends selfies. Its all good for the human spirit.
Good people are like candles; they burn themselves up to give others light
When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that youll never
get back. Your time is your life. That is why the
greatest gift you can give someone is your
time.-Rick Warren
If you know yourself, youll not be harmed by
what is said about you.
Thats the problem with putting others first;
youve taught them you come second.

"Sometimes you just gotta accept that some

people can only be in your heart, not in your
life."
"We assume others show love the same way we
do and if they dont, we worry its not there."
"Can you remember who you were, before the
world told you who you should be?"-Danielle LaPorte
Learn how to be
lonely. Learn what its like to know
that you are coming home to
yourself night after night
that empty is just another word
for open.
Dont cry when the sun is gone, because the
tears wont let you see the stars.-Violeta Parra
You will not be punished for your anger, you will
be punished by your anger.-Buddha
Do not chase people. Be you and do your own
thing and work hard. The right people who belong in your life will come to you, and stay.
Oh how we forget that everything is a choice
and we can decide.

107

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