6 ways to embrace kids' gender differences at school

Story highlights
Schools work to create inclusive environments for gender expansive kids
Right to education free of discrimination based on gender identity is protected by law
Experts suggest avoiding gendered language, using materials that feature diversity
But Principal Lindsey Pollock is confident her staff knows what to do. They have been trained to
support children who deviate from gender norms, whether it's a boy in girls' clothes or a child who
was born a girl and wants to be called a boy. And, they know it's school policy.
"Diversity is a good thing. We all benefit from the unique characteristics that we all have," Pollock
said. "Our goal is to build a culture of inclusivity and understanding and a mindset of being
welcoming to everyone."
Across the country, schools are adopting similar mantras for transgender and gender nonconforming
children in their mission statements and policies. Advocates say the efforts reflect growing support
for research showing the negative effects of enforcing fixed ideas of what it means to be a boy or a
girl on children, especially in learning environments.
Helpful terms
Gender Identity: How you feel you were born to be -- masculine, feminine or somewhere in between.
This identity doesn't always match up with your biological sex, or the gender you were assigned at
birth.
Gender Dysphoria: Feeling extremely uncomfortable (persistently in distress) with your physical sex
characteristics or your sex assigned at birth.
Gender Expression: The way a person presents themselves to the world through clothing, hairstyles,
toys and other preferences. Most people's gender expression matches up with their physical sex
characteristics or birth sex.
Gender Variant: When your gender identity or expression is different from your physical sex
characteristics or birth sex.
Source: TransYouth Family Allies
"This is the reality in which we live: Gender is a continuum, not a box," said Graciela SlesaranskyPoe, dean of Arcadia University's School of Education in Pennsylvania. Her experience with a
gender-nonconforming child led her to become a consultant who has helped schools across the
country learn to accommodate children tutu for adult who are opening up about gender identity as
early as kindergarten.
"We need to be sure we don't create structures and artifices to reinforce binaries that limit and
constrain the ways in which we behave and express ourselves."

The right to an education free of discrimination based on gender identity is protected by federal,
state, and local laws. The US Department of Education in April reaffirmed a 2010 declaration that
"Title IX's sex discrimination prohibition extends to claims of discrimination based on gender
identity or failure to conform to stereotypical notions of masculinity or femininity." Massachusetts
and California are among the growing number of states with strong legal protections for
transgender and gender nonconforming students. At least 160 cities and have passed laws
prohibiting gender identity discrimination, according to advocacy group Gender Spectrum.
Wisconsin's Madison Metropolitan School District is one of many districts to issue guidance to
administrators for creating a welcoming environment for transgender and gender nonconforming
students.
The efforts are not always welcomed by the community. Opponents of California AB 1266 are
working to get it on the ballot for veto referendum. This week, a Nebraska parent raised objections
over training for Lincoln Public School staff about lesbian, gay bisexual and transgender issues.
In an email to parents, the mother cited handouts, including one called "12 easy steps on the way to
gender inclusiveness" that recommended against "gendered" expressions such as "boys and girls,"
the Lincoln Journal Star reported. The mother and school district did not respond to CNN's request
for comment.
"By sidelining academic teacher training and replacing it with social re-engineering, the LPS
administration has placed a higher priority on social reformation than on education," the mother
said in an "introductory speech" prepared for an upcoming school board meeting, according to
documents obtained by the Journal Star.
Advocates say improving school climate and legal protections are important because transgender
and gender nonconforming children are frequent targets of bullying. A 2012 survey found that 42%
of gender nonconforming students feel safe at school, compared to 62% of their gender conforming
counterparts. More than 40% of students who participated in a 2005 National School Climate Survey
felt unsafe at school because of their gender expression; 26% said they were physically harassed the
previous year because of their gender expression.
"The work that we do is not to make schools safer just for transgender students, but to make schools
safe for everyone regardless of where they fall on the gender spectrum," said Kim Westheimer,
director of the Human Rights Campaign Foundation Family Project's Welcoming Schools initiative.
The program helps schools, such as Garden Oaks Montessori, create an inclusive climate through
staff training, policy recommendations, and bullying prevention approaches.
Creating a welcoming environment is an ongoing process that involves various stakeholders from the
school community. Here are some steps that educators, parents and advocacy groups recommend
for creating a gender inclusive school community.
1. Don't separate children by gender
When it's time to work in groups, experts recommend coming up with alternatives for separating
children. The first letters of their last names, birthday months, clothing colors or types of pets they
own are just some ways to do it, but many more exist.
Separating by categories other than gender helps children identify and build relationships based on
common ground -- or, at the very least, start conversations. In other words, it helps them learn to
relate to others based on similarities (and differences) other than gender.

2. Start the day with inclusive language and stick with it

Instead of saying "good morning, boys and girls," experts recommend using broader language to
convey a tutus for adult sense of equality and togetherness. Again, a variety of alternatives exist,
such "good morning, class" or "good morning, everyone."
Using inclusive language throughout the day reinforces the idea that boys and girls are not limited
by their biology to succeed in the same arenas, said Rhonda Thomason with Welcoming Schools.
Often, we imply that boys or girls are only good at specific things through the subtle (and not-s-subtle) things we say, or the activities we nudge them toward.
3. Feature diversity in books, posters and other workbooks
Welcoming Schools, Gender Spectrum and TransYouth Family Allies offer bibliographies and other
resources for classroom materials featuring diversity in various forms.
A wide selection of children's books feature transgender and gender expansive children. Many more
feature men and women in nonstereotypical roles of all races and sexual orientation; the same goes
for posters that hang in classrooms.
4. Create a professional development plan to help educators
Some schools devote several administrative prep days to familiarizing staff with issues surrounding
transgender and gender variant children. After all, teachers set classroom tone through language
and lesson plans. They also can intervene in instances of bullying or name-calling and, when
appropriate, use them as teachable moments.
In order to act, experts say educators need to develop a shared understanding of gender identity and
language to be able to communicate with students and parents. But they need to know what to look
for, and they need to believe that they have the support of the school, which leads to the next
suggestion.
5. Have strong policies to support transgender students
Some schools may not know what do if a child who was referred to by male pronouns now uses
female pronouns. What does that mean in the classroom, or on their transcript?
Policies should address how to handle names and pronouns, bathroom use, extracurricular activities,
student records, and confidentiality, said Westheimer with Welcoming Schools. These issues can be
complicated, so best to consult an expert in your area or national organizations such as Welcoming
Schools, Gender Spectrum or TransYouth Family Allies.
6. Engage the entire school community
Each school approaches this differently. One school in Maine sent a letter home to parents informing
them that a second-grader who identified as a girl the previous year would be recognized as a boy
this year. Others incorporate the discussion into class or school-wide meetings.
The goal is the same: to set community norms for what's expected and create a platform for people
to ask questions.