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-Global Manpower-
a/ Do not simply copy the words used on the graphic material (repetition is not
allowed)
b/ In writing body
Remember to check the tense
Remember to use comparison and contrasting (if any)
Do not repeat information and list all data illustrated.
c/ 'Overview' not conclusion
You don't need to write a conclusion for IELTS writing task 1. You need to write an
"overview" of the information.
Question: But why don't you need to write a conclusion? What's the difference between a
conclusion and an overview?
First, a conclusion is really a final judgement, decision or opinion. This is perfect
for the task 2 essay, but task 1 asks you to write a description without analysis or
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Above 6.5
Given is a line graph showing the overall numbers of tourist arrivals in five countries in
the period between 1995 and 2010. It is evident that there were all upward trend in
tourists number for the five countries, in that, France saw the most significant increasing
level of visits in the last year of the period.
In details, in 1995, over 70 million tourists visited the United States, more than twice as
many as the next most popular destination shown, France. However, between 2005 and
2010, there was a decrease of approximately 1,500,000 in the numbers going to the
United States whereas there was an increase of nearly 20 million tourists visiting France.
The result was that in 2010 the number of tourists arriving in the United States and
France was almost equal at around 90 million each.
Regarding the remaining countries, the number of tourists visiting Malaysia rose steadily
over the whole period but by 2010 the total was still under 50 million. The countries with
the fewest tourist arrivals were Brazil and Egypt. In specific detail, the number of
tourists going there was similar between 1995 and 2000 but after that/then there was a
greater increase in tourists going to Egypt than to Brazil.
(206 words)
Remark
Good points:
Academic opening (red): good structure Given is/are + (name of the chart) +
V-ing (function) + Object + Place/Time
Presents an overview with information appropriately selected (yellow)
Appropriate format with 3 parts: opening, body, conclusion
Use comparison sentence: (orange)
Transitional words: (green) the writing ideas are connected and easy for readers
to follow
The writer knows how to divide the lines into layers to analyze: the two higher
should be come together and the remaining others are in the same group. It is
easier to see the relationship in the figures of two layers and the relationship
among lines in each layer: in this case, the USA and France are in a layer while
Malaysia, Egypt and Brazil are in the second lower figure layer
Improvement:
The writer may use wider range of other uncommon vocabulary and transitional
words to raise the score
It is acceptable to get a mistake but you should limit the number of
committing in order not to be reduced the mark
b/ Example
Limited range of structure. You can see in the sample there are mostly simple
sentences (brown): S + V + adv
Basic grammar errors (blue):
+ Verb in plural and singular form: was/were
+ Article: a/an
Spelling: remember to check the spelling of the words before finishing to write,
more than 3 misspelling will lead to deduction in ILETS writing task 1 mark. In
this case, we have to change especailly especially
Not include significant details of given information: lack of figure to illustrate the
trend
Inappropriate format: remember to separate opening and body by jumping to the
next row and make the beginning letter of the sentence to be in capital.
Level: 5.0 to 6.0
Given is the line graph illustrating the US energy consumption by fuel from 1980 to
2030. The figures show an unstable using rate but overall, there is a marked increase in
the US energy consumption.
In the first period, from 1980 to 1985, it is obvious from the given information that in
1980, Petrol and Gas was the most popular type of energy with 35 Quadrillion units
while natural gas, coal and hydro power account for 20,15 and 4 quadrillion units
respectively. On the contrary, nuclear power and solar wind energy were not used at that
time.
The second period witnessed some dramatically changes in energy using rate. Although
it fluctuated for a couple of years, the consumption rate of petro and oil has climbed
steadily since 1985. Changes of natural gas and coal are clear in 2015. As people started
using more coal, the consumption rate jumps. However, natural gas using rate remains
stable from 2015.
Nuclear power were introduced in 1985 since then, the implement of it has spread in a
wide range. As a result, its consumption level has not stop rising ever since. Solar wind
and Hydro power are in the same situation too.
In conclusion, as human technology depends largely on sources of power, US energy
consumption by fuel will be unlikely to drop in the future.
(222 words)
Remark
Good points:
The writer know how to write opening:
Academic opening (red): good structure Given is/are + (name of the
chart) + V-ing (function) + Object + Place/Time
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Improvement:
Comparison: the writing quite lack of comparison structure
There are some mistakes in grammar and language used, in fact, it is acceptable to
get a mistake but you should limit the number of committing in order not to be
reduced the mark: (Blue)
+ tobe: were was
Above 6.5
The graph shows consumption of energy in the U.S. since 1980 with projections through
2030.
The historical trends showed Petrol and Oil as the major sources of fuel, rising from 35
quadrillion (35q) units used in 1980 to 42q in 2012. Despite some fluctuation between
1980 and 1995, there was a steady increase, which is expected to continue, reaching 47q
in 2030.
Consumption of energy from natural gas and coal followed a similar pattern over the
period. From 20q and 15q respectively in 1980, gas showed an initial fall and coal saw a
gradual increase, with the two fuels equal between 1985 and 1990. Consumption has
fluctuated since 1990 but both now provide 24q. Coal consumption is projected to rise to
31q in 2030, whereas after 2014, natural gas is forecast to remain stable at 25q.
In 1980, in the group of renewable source, energy from solar/wind, nuclear, and
hydropower were the least-used, with only 4q. Nuclear has risen by 3q, and solar/wind
by 2. Since 2005, hydropower has fallen back to the 1980 figure. It is expected to remain
approximately constant through 2030, while the others are projected to rise gradually
after 2025.
Overall, fossil fuels are predicted to remain the chief energy source for the US, with a
little bit of hydroelectric, nuclear and a smidgen of renewable sources like wind and
solar.
(215 words)
Good points:
Academic opening (red)
10