MASHA 2010 1/25/10 11:31 AM Page 1

She
She Magazine
...it’s a woman thing!

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE.

M A G A Z I N E

FEBRUARY 2010
THIS THING CALLED LOVE -
REAL LIFE LOVE STORIES TO WARM
YOUR HEART THIS VALENTINE’S

COULD YOUR SOUL MATE BE JUST

A CLICK AWAY?
Carolinas Hospital MEET A COUPLE WHO FOUND LOVE
System is joining

WWW.SHEMAGAZINE.COM
AND MARRIAGE ONLINE
the American
Heart Association Day
of National Awareness
of Women and
Heart Disease.
Friday February 5
Free blood pressure 10 a.m.-2 p.m.
checks, heart risk
assessments Main Hospital Lobby
and educational
materials will be given
805 Pamlico Highway THE LOOK OF LOVE -
Florence
VOLUME 7 ISSUE 12
to patients, visitors and FROM ROMANTIC TO
staff. Enjoy nutritional
DARING DATE-NIGHT
cooking demonstrations
and receive healthy Show your support CLOTHES
recipes.

For more information,

by wearing LOVE LESSONS:
WHAT HAPPILY-
please contact
Rilla Hemmingsen
Red for the day! MARRIED WOMEN
CAN TEACH YOU
at 843-674-2761.
ABOUT CHOOSING
Heart Disease is the #1 killer of Women THE RIGHT MAN

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE.

Glossy 2 1/20/10 1:46 PM Page 1

Vascular Surgeons, Dr. Ganesha Perera and Dr. Christopher Cunningham.

The region’s leading vascular program

is now even . stronger
The Vascular Program at McLeod, under the direction of Dr. Christopher Cunningham, has earned its
reputation as the regional leader in innovative vascular services. Using the most advanced treatment options
and therapies available, it provides comprehensive, high quality care and superior outcomes. With the
addition of Dr. Ganesha Perera, who received his medical education in Pennsylvania and comes to Florence
from a practice in Georgia, the program now offers two board-certified vascular surgeons.
Dr. Cunningham and McLeod Vascular Associates are pleased to welcome Dr. Perera to the practice and
look forward to accepting new patients.

McLeod
Heart & Vascular Institute
www.McLeodCardiac.org
www.Facebook.com/McLeodHealth www.Twitter.com/McLeodHealth

McLeod Vascular Associates. 305 E. Cheves St., Florence, SC 29506 843-777-3850

Glossy 3 1/20/10 1:48 PM Page 1
“Florence Doctor Regrets Unfortunate Mistake...”
Dear Friend,
Many of you have heard I will
be admitting a mistake in this
letter today. You’ve heard right,
it’s time to fess up.
Working as a doctor here in
Florence, I’ve taken care of
hundreds of people. All
throughout that time I’ve kept
my secret. But now, as I’ve
started to come clean, instead of
an investigation or a local
uproar, my patients are relieved.
They understand, and people
are still coming to my office.
I’m going to tell you what I’m
admitting and what I regret, but
I want to give you some back-
ground first.
Life was going great and I was
having the time of my life, but
then it happens: something turns
my world upside down.
Out of the blue, I developed a
painful back condition. A pain
in my back and hips that caused
so much pain that I couldn’t
stand up or put on my pants.
The pain was so bad I was afraid
that I wouldn’t be able to play
with my children. There were
even times I couldn’t bend over
to tie my own shoes! I’d seen
people that had back surgery,
and that was out of the ques-
tion.
I finally came to my senses and
went to see a doctor. The doctor
did an exam, took some x-rays,
and then adjusted my spine. Oh
did I mention this doctor was a
chiropractor? The adjustment
didn’t hurt, it actually felt good.
I got relief and I could stand
again, most importantly I was
able to play with my children
again. It worked so well that I
am proud to be a chiropractor
today.
I am not a miracle worker
Oh, and about the mistake and
the regrets I promised to tell you
about. Here it is: People tell me
I’m a “miracle worker” because
An open letter to the community...
before they came to see me
(often) nobody else could help
them. I used to swell with pride
when I heard that kind of thing,
but as time goes on something
has become very clear to me:
I’m not a miracle worker. It’s
a mistake to let people think I am.
It’s the body that holds the mir-
acle. I just remove nerve inter-
ference, and the body does the
rest. The body is constantly
striving to heal and to be well.
When nerve interference is
removed, the body has a greater
chance to heal.
I should have made this abun-
dantly clear to all my patients. I
regret that I haven’t because the
distinction is important. So I
admit it, we get great results, but
I don’t deserve the praise. The
praise goes to the creator and
this wonderful body.
My patients come to me with
problems like: headaches,
migraines, chronic pain, neck
pain, shoulder or arm pain,
whiplash from car accidents, back-
aches, carpal tunnel syndrome,
ear infections, asthma, allergies,
numbness in the limbs, and more.
Here’s what some of my
patients had to say:
“I had headaches almost everyday
of my life for years; Dr. Sherman
put an end to that in a few adjust-
ments!”- (D. Kirkland-Florence. SC)
“I suffered with chronic pain for
over 25 years. I tried numerous
different treatments including
medication, physical therapy, and
even surgery. A friend of mine
told me about Dr. Sherman. With
his help, I am now able to sleep
through the night. Thanks to my
friend and Dr. Sherman”- (H.
Davis, Timmonsville, SC)
“I couldn’t sit, stand, or even lie
down without pain. After a couple
of visits, my low back and leg pain
are gone!” (K. Turner-Florence, SC)
But, as I’ve said, it is not ‘me’
that cures them of these afflic-
tions. Here is why making this
distinction is so important.
People are taught from a very
young age that “health comes
from the outside.” Some people
actually believe that the
answers to health always comes
in the form of a pill.
I believe that health is
an inside-out process. Our bod-
ies are designed to be self-heal-
ing. What I do as a chiropractor
works with the body, and not
against it.
That’s why the results are so
profound. I know I need to do a
better job in the future telling
people that. In so many cases
they don’t need to be slaves to
drugs. I need to get that message
out to more people. I admit I
made a mistake in not doing it
sooner. It is time to make the
correction.
Third Leading
Cause of Death
The present state of our
Nation’s Health is appalling.
Much of that is due to our faith
in pills and not taking responsibil-
ity for our health. We wait for a
crisis and often it’s too late. We
are so brainwashed into believ-
ing that the only way to health
is through pills. We have
become a nation of pill-poppers
and people who don’t want to
accept responsibility for our
health. What is the result? It’s
not good.
The world Health Organization
recently completed a study of
unhealthiest countries in which
the U.S. ranked a horrible 37
out of 39. This is a startling sta-
tistic considering the U.S. is
equipped with the most modern
technology and probably some
of the finest Doctors. So you’ve
got to ask yourself… Are drugs
and technology really the
answer?
On July 2008 The Journal of the
American Medical Association
reported that, according to John
Hopkins, medication errors are
the third leading cause of death
in the U.S. Is the medical estab-
lishment bad? No! But why not
consider safe and effective alter-
natives?
Our Offer to You
My name is Dr. Stewart
Sherman of Advantage Health
& Wellness Center. I believe
that you shouldn’t have to get a
loan from the bank to afford
good health care. When you
call and make an appointment
to see me before February 27,
2009 you will receive my entire
exam, (yes with x-rays also), for
just $27. You should call right
away, this offer won’t last long.
Debbie and Kristin are my won-
derful assistants and they will
probably be the ones who
answer your call. So call us at
843-669-1010. Give us an
opportunity to try and help you!
God Bless,
Dr. Stewart Sherman, D.C.
P.S. If you would like your
spouse or child to come along
with you, we will see them for
just $10 extra. We won’t make
you wait hours to be seen either.
Your time is as valuable as ours
that is why we have a no-wait-
ing policy. You will be seen
within minutes of your appoint-
ment.
Glossy 4 1/21/10 3:29 PM Page 1

Celebrating 15 years of service in Florence & the surrounding areas.

It’s your choice…

Our goal is to provide the best possible cardiac care to our patients by utilizing the latest
cardiology information and state-of-the-art techniques in a pleasant and friendly environment.
We take pride in treating each patient in a caring and respectful manner, guiding them to
optimal cardiovascular wellness. Each member of the ACC team shares these goals and is
dedicated to your individual health needs.

You’re not alone...

Millions of Americans are diagnosed each year with cardiovascular disease; in South Carolina,
thousands of new cases are found and treated every year. At Advanced Cardiology Consultants,
P.C., we understand that a diagnosis of cardiovascular disease affects not only the patient but
their family and friends as well. That’s why we’ve developed a highly advanced, cutting edge
heart care facility in Florence, so you can stay connected to family and friends while receiving
the highest quality of care. From diagnosis, to treatment to follow up care, our dedicated and
skilled cardiology team is focused on treatments utilizing the latest technology and training in
a caring setting close to you. Accreditations of Nuclear Cardiology Imaging and
Echocardiography Laboratories signify the facility’s commitment to quality testing for the
diagnosis of heart disease. Testing rendered at Advanced Cardiology Consultants, P.C., allows
for expediency when other treatments may become necessary.

Board Certified in General Cardiology, Interventional Cardiology, and Nuclear Cardiology

WHY CHOOSE ACC?

• Highly Qualified Cardiologists & Staff
• Personalized Cardiac Care
Lew Rowe, MD Ian Smith, MD James Dedonis, MD
• State-of-the-art On-Site Technology

• ICAEL & ICANL Accreditation "Seals Of Approval"

Patients Can Count On

Happy Heart Month!

Vitt Leng, MD Greg May, MD Daniel Ng, MD
No referral necessary!
Call for an appointment (843)629-8084 (local)
or 1-888-629-8084 (toll free) Caring for your health is more than an expression at
1706 Second Loop Road, Florence Advanced Cardiology Consultants, P.C.
It is at the heart of our mission.
31 1/27/10 3:21 PM Page 1

Florence’s Only Certified Bariatrics Center

Florence Wellness
& Weight-loss Center
J. MARSHALL DENT, M.D.,
under the direction of
FLORENCE’S ONLY BARIATRIC PHYSICIAN
NOW OFFERING FULL & MODIFIED FAST AS WELL AS OTHER PROGRAMS TAILORED TO YOUR INDIVIDUAL NEEDS

“ We’ve lost over 86 POUNDS together !

Epps Green and daughter, Kelli tell their stories!
”
EPP’S STORY... At 223 pounds, I was motivated to start Dr. Dent’s program at Florence Wellness & Weight-Loss Center. I want-
ed a healthier life and more self-esteem.
I chose the plan in which I ate high-protein foods such as eggs, chicken, turkey and salads. I ate foods with as few carbs as
possible. The carbohydrates that I did eat mainly came from the salad dressings. Shakes were sometimes substituted for a food
meal if I was on the go or just felt like a chocolate shake.
The hardest part about sticking to the plan was getting started with an exercise routine. So, for my exercise, I walked and did
yard work.
I was motivated by having a partner, good friends and the helpful staff at Dr. Dent’s office. Seeing results and feeling better
about myself also made me want to keep going.
The best thing about losing the weight is seeing the change in my body and clothes. Clothes that used to be tight and pushed
to the back of the closet are now baggy and are thrown out of the closet.
In addition to feeling better about the way I look, I discovered that I had a vitamin deficiency. Fortunately, during my exami-
nations, Dr. Dent recognized this and started me on an energizing supplement. Without his discovery, I could have lost weight time
and time again, but it would have come right back.
My advice to others is to, first, get checked out by a physician such as Dr. Dent. Then, when you lose weight, enjoy it! Do
things for yourself. Get a new look, a new hairstyle or wardrobe. Celebrate your accomplishment by resolving to never go back to
where you came from.
I currently weigh 167 pounds, a total loss of 56 pounds. But, I’m not finished yet. I’m continuing with
before the lifestyle change and eating foods low in carbohydrates.

KELLI’S STORY... I was motivated to lose weight because I had gone from about 130 pounds to 157 pounds in two years. I like to spend time
at the beach and was not looking forward to moving up another size.
I participated in the meat and vegetable, high-protein, low-carb program at Florence Wellness & Weight-Loss Center. I ate lots
of eggs and all sorts of vegetables and meats. For a meal substitution if I was busy or just felt like it, I enjoyed protein shakes. Fast
food wasn’t even an obstacle. I could order burgers and just not eat the bread. Some restaurants already sell burgers this way.
I didn’t have a set exercise routine. If I felt like getting on the treadmill, I did. If I didn’t feel like it, I didn’t. But, I worked long
hours at a busy restaurant, so I did get in daily walking.
The hardest part of sticking to the program was avoiding the sweets that stared me in the face constantly. After about two weeks, though,
my obsession with chocolate and cookies was dwindling.
I was motivated by the fast results of the program. I really stuck with it hard-core and lost eight pounds the first two weeks.
The best thing about losing the weight is going shopping. I actually like trying on clothes now. Plus, all the compliments are a real self-esteem
booster.
Just like Mom, my participation in Dr. Dent’s weight-loss program lead to the discovery that I had a problem – an underactive thyroid,
which was also causing other issues. Since the diagnosis, I’m on medication, and I feel great. If I hadn’t gone to Dr. Dent and discovered the
hypoactive thyroid condition, I could have yo-yo dieted my whole life and the weight would have come right back every time.
My advice to others is to get a partner, get serious and get to work with Dr. Dent and his staff. The more effort you put into the program,
the more results you get. Be serious and do it for real this time.
before
With a total loss of 30 pounds, I currently weigh 127 pounds. I have a few more pounds to go, but I’ll get there.

Complete Women’s Health Care

See Dr. Dent’s article

J. Marshall Dent, M.D.

on pg. 120

Member of North American Menopausal Society • Member of American Bariatrics Physicians

410 South Coit Street • Florence • 665.5055

9 1/22/10 10:05 AM Page 1
7 1/21/10 4:33 PM Page 1

Our Assisted Living

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8 1/21/10 3:31 PM Page 1

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9 1/25/10 10:20 AM Page 1

Who in the Pee Dee

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Advanced Dental
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A smile is contagious!
When you have a beautiful smile,
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just smile at myself!

“ I always wanted a bright

smile, but spent far too much
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Emma Davis,
”
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After seeing an ad in She in 2005,

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Jane Matthews,
Florence, SC
”
www.carolinasmile.com
2214 West Palmetto Street • Florence, SC • (843)-629-8000
6 1/21/10 11:17 AM Page 1

The Art of Style

843.656.0399
2000 Block of Hoffmeyer Road
843-292-0150 • www.gallowayandmoseley.com
Florence, SC
the toy shop
specializing in creative and
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Experience new products
arrving daily

a Truly MAG
FORMERS

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843.665.5668 843-665-7669 • Mon-Sat 10-6
11 1/21/10 11:19 AM Page 1
12-13 1/27/10 3:49 PM Page 1

contents
78 80 84

in every issue
14 Letter from the Editor 53 Wee She 122 The Sir-Vey
Mackenzie Jane Grimsley
16 She mail 124 Chicks of the Month
59 Chick Lit The Staff of First United
28 In His Own Words Lee Blackmon Methodist Childcare Center in
Tim Lee Marion
66 Women at Work
32 Shop Talk Jo Pike 128 She Wants to Know
Main Street Jewelers
100 Drop A Hint! 132 Fabulous Finds
34 Beauty Buzz
102 And She Cooks,Too! 136 Who’s That Girl?
39 Wings for the Spirit Taylor Timmons
Sherry S. Page Atkinson 104-105 There She Goes

42 She’s Closet 106 Mary Unmarried

Mary R. Dittman, MBA
47 The World According to Baby Love 62-63
Susan Minck 118-119 Ask Dr. Avie Look of Love 110 • 112 • 114
Avie J. Rainwater, III, PhD, ABPP

contributing writers
22 Allie Atkinson 50 Ferebe Gasque 98-99 Marti Miller
The Same Sweet Girls Never Say Never! Live Well. Laugh Often. Love
Much.
26 Beth Grant 54 Ouida K. Page, RN, LPC
The Tap Method Love Lessons 116 Cookie Cawthon
Butterfly Wishes
30 Anna K. Pitts 56 Aron Cannon Smith
Buns in the Oven = Happiness I Know What Love Is
All Around

36 Jumana A. Swindler
72 Paige Self Thomas
The Cheerful Heart
And,The Award Goes to...
12-13 1/27/10 3:50 PM Page 2

YxuÜâtÜç ECDC

She
Melia Flowers Berry
Publisher/Editor
editor@shemagazine.com

Tuesday Taylor
General Manager

we are
Advertising & Graphic Design

110
tuesday@shemagazine.com

Dresden Tucker
Graphic Design
dresden@shemagazine.com

Leigh Clary Abdou

Production Manager
Advertising & Design
leigh@shemagazine.com

Heather Frick
special features Editorial Assistant / Advertising
hfrick@shemagazine.com

76 Louise Dailey
A shl ey R o gers
78-79 Rachelle & Drake Conner Graphic Design

80 Laura Driggers ashley@shemagazine.com

82-83 Patsy & Johnny Rogers

Beverly Kelly - Executive Assistant
84-85 Pauline & Vence Jelovchan
86-87 Michele & Leon Pennington Ray Gasque - Distribution Manager

88-89 Shannon & Lee Burris Jacob Tucker - Distribution

90-91 Kelly & Derek Jokisch
92 Mary & Ashley Wiggins She mail
94 Beverly Sandifer E m a i l t o : e d i t o r @shemagazine.com
Mail to: 609 North Main Street • Marion, SC 29571
96 Talitha & Derek Seeber Call us: 843.423.2393 office line • 843.423.9837 fax line

medical experts take us home

For a copy to be placed in your mailbox, send a check or money order

for $38 to the above address for a year's subscription.

70 Carol Adams, PhD
When “Til Death Do Us Part” Becomes Reality She Magazine is published monthly and distributed at over 500 locations throughout
the Pee Dee. She Magazine reserves the right to refuse any advertisement or con-
108 Dr. Fred M. Krainin
tent we deem inappropriate for the publication. Editorial contributions are welcome
Broken Heart Syndrome
and will be considered by the editor. Please include name, address and contact

120 J. Marshall Dent, III, MD number (email editor@shemagazine.com). Letters to the Editor may require editing

Sex Drive and Your Hormones due to space limitations. The design, editorial and photo content in She is copyright
of She Magazine and may not be reproduced without written permission by the
publisher. She Magazine is a registered trademark.
14 1/27/10 5:03 PM Page 1
letter from the editor:
FEBRUARY 2010
\ It’s quite normal for me to wait until the last
minute to write my Editor’s Letter. In fact, I usually start it
earlier but wait until the day before press just to get a final
feel of the heartbeat of the issue. Even if I put no words on
paper, the gist of my letter is always in my head. Not this
month. I have suffered from a most dreadful case of writer’s
block. Oh, I’ve had writer’s block before – many times, in fact
– but never like this.
This is the morning of our print day and until about
thirty minutes ago, I had no idea what I wanted to say. Well,
to be truthful, I did have a few ideas; but, believe me, they
were pitiful. My letter would have been weak, and you
wouldn’t have hung with me past the second paragraph.
Last night, while my son, Josh, and I visited with our
friends, Ann and Denley Caughman at The Grove, Denley
offered the best solution to my writer’s block,“Just leave the
page blank with a note, ‘I have nothing to say.’”
We all laughed; but, after getting home and sitting
with my laptop open and a blank page before me, his idea
started to sound better and better. Tired, frustrated and
void of thoughts, I went to bed asking God to give me words
to write. As I drifted off, I wondered why this month’s letter
was so hard and I remembered that I have always struggled
with the February Editor’s Letter – granted, not to this
degree. Nevertheless, it has always been a struggle. Why?
Then, slowly, it came to me; it’s all because of love.
Love is such an important topic, and February is all
about love. It’s important to me and it’s very important to
God. He gave His Son for it; “For God so loved the world .
. .” (John 3:16). And, He said it is so powerful that it can cover
our wrongs;“Love covers a multitude of sin” (1 Peter 4:8).
The Bible is full of God’s thoughts and commands
about love. Yes, love is important to God, so the pressure’s
on. I have to get this one right. And, I sleep.
Six o’clock alarm sounds and I wake. First thought, “This is
it. Here I stand.” No, not me, the lyrics to a Michael Jackson
song played in my head.
Second thought, “The magazine prints in just a
few hours, and I have a blank page where my Editor’s
Letter should be. Third thought, Denley’s words
on the page, “I have nothing to
say.” I’m out of the bed talk-
ing to God. “Okay, Lord,
here we go. Time’s
running out. You
gotta help.”
I turn on the shower, wait for hot
water and step in. Water. There’s something
about it that allows me to connect with God. You
may think that sounds strange. Well, think again.
Water was also pretty important to Jesus. He
turned it to wine, saved a woman beside a well
filled with it and He walked on it. There’s also the
living water, the cleansing water, the calming water.
Need I say more?
So, while in the shower, He spoke to me. God
spoke to my heart as only He does, and this is the con-
versation that transpired:
God: “Tell them about your first memory.”
Me: “My first memory? No. No. Noooo! Not that.”
God: “Why not?”
Me: “Because. Because I have only told a handful of
people – five at the most – about that in my whole
life. And, now you want me to tell thousands?”
God: “Yes.”
With that, the conversation ended and I began to
think about my first memory, the one that God just spoke to
me about. I thought about the fact that it might sound real-
ly crazy to some people and why I needed to share it in the
first place. And, then, it all came together. Everything fell into
place – even waking up with the Michael Jackson song in my
head. Crazy or not, here it goes.
My first memory. I was between two and three
years old – and I remember it as if it just happened. In fact,
there is not another memory in this head of mine that is
clearer. I saw myself being handed down from Heaven in the
arms of Jesus and placed in my bed. There was nothing
before that and nothing after, except me getting up to find
my mother. She was sitting in the kitchen, and I remember
running up to her and trying to tell her about what had just
happened – that I was in the hands of God, feeling so much
love, and then He placed me in my bed.
I don’t know if I was asleep or awake when this
happened. I was a little child; but, I know it happened. It did-
n’t scare me, though. It was a most-wonderful warm feeling.
It was love. And, I have carried it with me my entire life.
“It was just a dream,” most people would say. And,
maybe so. Maybe it was a dream, but it was still was so much
more to me. As a small child, I was blessed to feel the pres-
ence of God and love so powerful that it stayed with me
throughout my life. I know love.
Catch me in a moment of feeling sorry for myself
and I can tell of quite a few heartaches that have come and
gone in my life. Still, rising above all that is an astounding
sense of being loved. My parents poured out their love upon
my life in a way that saved me in many ways – much like the
saving love of Jesus Christ that I would come to know. There
is power in love, and any power that I may feel does come from
knowing that I am loved, first by God and then by others. For
me, power is not in success or any accomplishments that I
may claim. For me, power is in love.
In my ninth
grade English
class, there was one
of those “Love is . . .”
posters on the wall. This
one read “Love is . . . never
live . laugh.love
having to say you’re sorry.” Even as a young girl in
love with anything remotely romantic, I knew something
wasn’t right about that. Today, my “Love is . . .” poster would
read something like this: “Love is . . . watching my children
grow up; getting a text that reads ‘Love you, Momma’ from
my teenage son; feeling my daughter watching me as we
drive down the road and turning to see love on her face; my
mother making my favorite comfort food, grits and eggs, last
week when I wasn’t feeling well; a call from a dear friend to
say she’s praying for me.”
The lyrics to the song “Wind Beneath My Wings”
are probably highly overused at weddings and on Karaoke
night, but there is much truth in them. Love can lift a per-
son out of the muck and mire. You don’t have to believe
Bette Midler, though. God revealed this truth in Isaiah 40:31,
“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles.”
You see, God is the Author of Love. And, and if you
place your hope in Him, you will know love like you’ve never
known it before – a love that will never leave you and never
forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). And, then, there are those pow-
erful words spoken on love in I Corinthian 13:13, “So faith,
hope, love remain, these three; but, the greatest of these is
love.”
I awoke this morning with the lyrics to a Michael
Jackson song in my head; another piece of the puzzle that
would lead me to remember a quote by him that belongs in
this letter. “If you enter this world knowing you are loved
and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything
that happens in between can be dealt with.”
I cried when I read that sentiment after his death.
I found it so sad and quite ironic that a man who lived his life
in so much pain and strife in search of love would write this
truth. I know how it feels to be loved from the beginning,
and having been with the most loving man I have ever
known, my DaDa, when he died, I know how it feels in the
end. I have to say, you do take that love with you. I have
never felt such love in my life as I felt in the room the night
my DaDa went to be with the Lord. The room was filled
with love to the degree that I could feel it on my skin. It was
in the presence of the One who came to take him, and it was
radiating out of my DaDa. That love – like the love I felt in
my first memory – I will keep with me forever.
So, here it is – my letter to you for this issue about
love. It’s called LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE. And, I hope you find
some of it all within these pages filled with real life love sto-
ries and plenty of good, sound advice on, perhaps, the most
talked about subject of all time – love.
Live. Laugh. Love. And, enjoy this issue
. . . It’s a woman thing!
Melia Flowers Berry
15 1/21/10 12:13 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 15

L I V E , L AU G H & LOVE
with

214 Second Loop Road • Florence, SC • 843.662.2681

W W W. K N I G H T F U R N I T U R E S H O W R O O M S . C O M
16 1/26/10 2:12 PM Page 1

She: mail Dear She,
I immensely enjoy She Magazine! You
should be commended for such a diverse and
informative writing staff that you have. May
God bless you this 2010, and kudos for the
great job you are doing!
I hardly let the ink dry before I get myself
out to Lulu’s or my local physician’s office to
get my monthly copy. When I finish it, I send it
to my sister in Alabama who shops the Pee
Dee area still and has found many specialty
shops through She Magazine.
In Him,
Paula L. Murph, M.Ed.
Dear She,
I picked up She Magazine for the first time in December and com-
pletely fell in love. I noticed the January issue after a vigorous workout and
could not have been more pleased. She is overflowing with stories that are
uplifting, motivating and heartwarming. As someone who has just begun
her self-improvement regimen, the articles proved to be exactly what I
needed. They gave me good tips and an extra boost of motivation to con-
tinue on the right path.
“Wings for the Spirit” by Sherry S. Page Atkinson did exactly as
promised – provided wings for my spirit! It was as though it was written
with me in mind, to lift me up when I needed it most. Please let Mrs.
Atkinson know that I appreciated the article very much and will continue
to be an avid fan.
I truly enjoy She, and I know it touches every woman
that is blessed enough to read it. I thank God that He allowed you
to empower women – all women – and bring them closer to Him (if their
hearts are open) through the pages of She.
May God continue to bless all the women and men connected with
this wonderful magazine. I will continue to pray for She Magazine and its
staff, and I wish all of you nothing but the best.
Dear She,
I am the Owner/Agent of Brian Edwards
Insurance Agency, Inc. (State Farm Insurance)
in Dillon, SC. My wife picks up She Magazine
each month, and I usually end up reading it
before she does!
I’m the proud father of two beautiful
girls, with a third girl due in February. I find
that I learn a lot about girls and raising them
from She Magazine.
There is always a She Magazine in our
office that gets passed around for everyone
to read. Thank you for that.
Sincerely,
Brian Edwards, Dillon, SC
Dear She,
I love to read She Magazineeach and
every chance I get. Since moving away from the
Florence area about three years ago, my friends
and family will occasionally save their old copies
for me so that I can still stay in touch.
Generally speaking, I just love She Magazine.
It’s very informative with interesting articles, as
well as great advertisements!
Sherry Padgett, Lugoff, SC

Sincerely,
Lakeysha Jones, Florence, SC
P.S. I can’t wait for next month’s issue!

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Send an E-MAIL to editor@shemagazine.com or MAIL us at 609 N. Main St., Marion, SC 29571

17 1/27/10 4:23 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 17

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18 1/27/10 4:38 PM Page 1

FEBRUARY 2010
1. 2.
In Every Issue

1. J. Marshall Dent, MD is Board Certified in Family Practice & Obstetrics and

Gynecology and also holds an Advanced Certification in Menopausal Medicine. He can
be contacted at Complete Women’s Health Care in Florence. This month, in keeping
3. 4. 5.

Contributors
with the health and fitness theme, Dr. Dent explains how insulin resistance leads to
weight gain.

2. Avie J. Rainwater, III, Ph.D., ABPP This month, She Magazine is happy to
bring to our readers the debut of ASK DR. AVIE - A MAN’S PERSPECTIVE ON
THINGS WOMEN CARE ABOUT. A Senior Partner of LifeCare Psychology Group,
LLC, Dr. Avie J. Rainwater is the only Triple-Boarded Psychologist in SC, holding
Specialty Certification in Clinical Psychology and Sub-Specialty Designations in both
Biofeedback and Pain Management. He and his wife of 31 years, Karen, have three
children together. Chelsea, Seth and Josh.
7 8
3. Erika Chapman loves her husband, Mark & living in Florence. Her passions include 6
raising her three boys, serving as a KidSpring Volunteer at NewSpring Church and reading just
about anything she can get her hands on.

4.Sherry Page Atkinson lives in Marion with her husband, Jimmy. This
month in Wings for the Spirit, she asks the question, “Will This Be The Year?”

5. Ouida K Page is a Licensed Professional and National Board Certified Counselor 9 10 11

with a Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing and is a member of the International Honor Society
of Nursing. She specializes in families and issues relating to children, adolescents and
women of all ages.

6. Cookie Cawthon is wild about her family. She totally digs serving as a
greeter at NewSpring Church every week, and she flat out loves reading, writing,
speaking, teaching, and blogging www.cookiecawthon.com.

7. Jumana Swindler is the Director of Marketing and Public Relations for 13..
McLeod Health. Her personal favorite pastimes, reflected in her writings, are RV'ing, 12
movies,Theater, fishing, reading and spending time with her son and family.

8. Ferebe Gasque loves being Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House, selling
Pampered Chef Kitchen tools, and writing for She Magazine. Friends and fans can
reach her at ferebe.she@earthlink.net.

9. Marti Miller lives and writes in Marion, SC and enjoys life, with love
and laughter. Pig collections are important to these pursuits - especially
the flying variety. They do fly. Really, they do
In This Issue
10. Anna Pitts lives in Florence, She is currently pursuing her career as a School Library
Media Specialist and loving every minute of the journey! This month, Anna continues to write 14. Carol Adams, Ph.D., is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with McLeod
about her upcoming wedding and fitting into her dream dress. Family Medicine Center in Florence.

11. Paige Self Thomas lives in Florence with her husband, Joey, and two Sheltie chil- 15. Latrelle Fowler, RN,PhD and Life Coach, lives in Florence with her hus-
dren,Timmy and Buddy. Together, Paige and Joey have seven grown children. She works band, Tony. For this issue, we asked Latrelle to tackle the issue of TIME. In her arti-
part-time as Business Administrator for the Francis Marion University Center for the Child cle,What Is the BIGGEST TIME-WASTER in Your Life, And What Will You do About
and is a Licensed Realtor with Prudential Segars in Florence. It This Year?, she offers advice on making the most of your time in New Year.

12. Mary Dittman, MBA, is an Instructor of Marketing and Director of the 16. Beth Grant is an Artist, Interior Decorator and Writer. She and her hus-
Internship Program in the School of Business at Francis Marion University. She con- band, Don, live on their family farm in Lamar, South Carolina. They own and oper-
sults for a variety of local and regional companies and is actively involved in the ate Mantissa Row in Hartsville.
Florence community. Her new column “Mary Unmarried” is catching on quite quickly.

17. Dr. Fred M. Krainin is an Interventional Cardiologist who performs many diag-
13. Cheri Jordan Cheri Jordan is a Florence resident and has been married to nostic and interventional procedures in the McLeod Cardiac Catheterization laboratory.He is
her husband, Robert, for eleven years. She is a stay-at-home mom to four chil- in practice with Pee Dee Cardiology Associates.
dren, Abbi, Luke, Savannah and Matthew.

18. Aron Smith, and her husband, Collin, live in Florence. They have a son, Makgil
(5) and a daughter, Clara Beth (3).

14. 15. 16. 17.

17 Artist Spotlight

19. Masha D’yans is an artist from New York who launched her own greeting
card company based on her water color prints.This month’s cover of ì • is one
of her Valentine greeting cards that fits perfect with our theme, “Live, Laugh, Love.”
Masha’s work can viewed and purchased at www.masha.com.

18. 19. 20. 21... 20. Ricky Ford is a photographer out of marion who says, “ Photography is an art
to me and I want every image that I take to be timeless. His work is featured in this issue
of ì • in a photo shoot for the feature stories. 843.617.0147 • rickiford.com

21. Collin Smith is repsonsible for the fabulous “after” shots for the women in
this month’s feature stories. A portrait and wedding photographer based out of
Florence, Collin launched the $100 Portrait Project that donates 50% of its revenue to
the Children’s Miracle Network & stays in the Florence area. He is also the man
behind the creative photos in the CYNTHIA ads. cmsmithportraits.com
19 1/27/10 11:15 AM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 19

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22 1/22/10 12:59 PM Page 1

the Same
Sweet Girls
by Allie Atkinson
There are times when I don’t feel as if I’m living but merely existing. I don’t take time to nurture myself
and invest in my sanity. During those times, I become very depressed, both spiritually and physically. I tend
to withdraw into myself and become antisocial. I don’t want to go out or do anything. I really just want to
be alone and do nothing. Physically, I feel so tired that I don’t do anything. I tend to just sit.
In order to combat these tendencies, my college girlfriends and I run away from home one weekend
each year. We “migrate” in January to some common location and take time to live, not just be. The group
number tends to vary as different things arise in the lives of the core group, and I’ve even had to miss a cou-
ple times. I always regret missing it, though, because it allows us to reconnect and to remember who we are
other than the titles we wear – teacher, wife and mother (for me, at least).
We reconnect with one another and, more importantly, with ourselves. Reconnecting enables us to
recharge our batteries. We are then able to return to our homes and families better than when we left. We
take time to nurture ourselves and to nurture each other. We gather together in a spirit of love. Out of that
shared love comes much laughter. And through that laughter, we are reminded to live.
We meet at a hotel on Friday evening. Once everyone has shown up, we go someplace fabulous for
dinner because diets are off-limits during this weekend. Then, we usually will return to the hotel and all pile
into one room and talk and laugh until the wee hours of the morning. I always feel so much better after one
of these weekends. It’s true; laughter truly is the best medicine. Lord Byron is quoted as saying,“Always laugh
when you can. It is cheap medicine.” We eventually pile into beds in pairs like we used to in college and drift
off to sleep, still smiling.
Saturday is shopping day, usually. We invade a mall somewhere and shop and talk and laugh even more.
We will sometimes go into a mall nail place and get manicures and/or pedicures. For me, this is a rare occur-
rence and is made even more special as I look down the line of chairs at the faces of friends that I have
now had for almost twenty years.
These are the same sweet girls who have been my friends for nearly two decades. They gave
my bridal showers. They threw my bachelorette party. In fact, they threw me in the fountain
in front of Columbia College after my engagement, as is tradition. They attended my wed-
ding or were attendants in it. They have celebrated my victories with me. And, they have
mourned with me in my defeats. They have kept my feet on the ground when my head
got too high in the clouds, and they have picked me up and dusted me off when I was
knocked down by life.
They are my mirrors. They reflect back at me who I truly am. I
don’t ever have to “put on” with them. They would call me on it anyway. No
fakeness allowed on Girls’ Weekend! Through their eyes, I am reminded of
who I have been, who I am now and, most importantly, who it is that I want to
become. They help me remember that I need to live, not merely exist, but truly
live and invest in myself, as well as my career and family.
It never matters how much time passes, we fall right back into the familiar
old friendships as I often fall into a comfy pair of sweatpants. The sweatpants,
like these friendships, stretch to fit, no matter how long I’ve had them.
They encompass me in warmth. They make me feel alive.
They are my sisters. And, I love each and every one of them. I
thank God for them. They remind me that I need to truly live, and
that in order to feel alive, I have to laugh. And, as long as we are
together and laughing, I will always feel love.

The Same Sweet Girls is also the name of a very good

Note from Author: “T
book by Cassandra King. I would highly recommend it if you are looking for a
book about lifetime friendships among women. If you read it, let me know
what you think about it.” ~ Allie

Allie Atkinson is a French teacher at Marion High School. S

he lives in Marion with her husband, Philip, and daughter, Abbie.
23 1/27/10 2:00 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 23

Please join the

KFA Dance LIFE HAS ITS MOMENTS...
Company
for their annual
Sneak Peek Concert
entitled
"Angel Among Us"
in memory of
KelbeyAnn
Christina
Kelley
with all proceeds
to benefit the
Trisomy 18
foundation
and the Carolina
Hospital Nursery.
For your very special Valentines Day
February 21, 2010
3:00pm
South Florence ...MAKE THEM UNFORGETTABLE
High School
Auditorium PRICES FROM $25

Other planned events include: Watch

us perform
Chicken Bog, Dancethon, at the USC
vs Tennessee
Silent Auction, Doughnut sales Men's 444 N. GUIGNARD DRIVE
Basketball
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game on
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please call 629-0033 or 374-4KFA. 20th 2001 HOFFMEYER ROAD
FLORENCE
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24-25 1/28/10 10:00 AM Page 1
24-25 1/28/10 10:01 AM Page 2
26 1/25/10 11:18 AM Page 1

the tap method

by Beth Grant

“Even the people we love most in this world will disappoint us and let us down
at some point in our lives. In turn, we may let those we love down, too.”

as human
As human beings
beings, when facing extreme cir-
cumstances, we learn to adapt to our suffering by
refocusing our thoughts. What a wonderful instru-
ment God gave us to overcome adversity – our imag-
ination. Imagining ourselves in a pleasant situation or
believing we can and will overcome puts us on the
right path towards help.
Recently, I learned that American Prisoners
of War in Vietnam developed a tap system among
themselves, using the alphabet and the wall that sepa-
rated them from each other. They spent hours devel-
oping a carefully-orchestrated system that offered
comfort and hope to one another during their agoniz-
ing lengthy imprisonment. I can only imagine how
awful it was for those soldiers to be in isolation for so
long, yet they were able to use their minds for their
own protection. By not allowing the reality of the sit-
uation to consume their thoughts, they were able to
channel them in a different direction that essentially
kept them alive. They offered each other prayers,
comfort, jokes, songs, lesson planning – anything to
keep each other sane. They gave each other hope that
help would someday come, and they would all be
reunited with their families.
Most of us who experienced horrific ordeals
in our past would not trade the aftereffects of those
events because they helped to shape and define who
we are today. We learn coping skills and how to devel-
op our instincts. We learned that we can and will survive
and that now we can take that knowledge and offer it to
help someone else. We learned that faith is real and
God is real and that He absolutely answers all our
prayers. We learn that His way is not always our way;
but, in the end, it is the best way. We learn that which
doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. We do become
“steel magnolias.”
If we spend more energy forgiving, loving,
helping and laughing, we begin the process of healing.
This miraculous goodness can only come from God as
it was His gift of love to us. When we practice good
thoughts and let go of our hurts, we can be free of its
grip on us. When we are harboring anger, hurt and
resentment towards someone, it slowly poisons us
and interferes with our ability to trust and love oth-
ers. With God’s help, we will be able to forgive and
move on and rid ourselves of what Satan loves most.
Satan loves to cripple us with negative thoughts and
feelings so he can stop our loving spirit.
In our never-ending search for peace and hap-
piness, we tend to always look outside of where we are
and dream of something that seems more far reaching.
We seldom look at the miracles and joys we are already
experiencing. It takes losing something or someone to
make us realize just how wonderful we had it.
On rare occasions, people do enter our lives
that take important parts of us away. They belittle us
by digging in to the darkest places within us. Even so,
God still expects us to pray for them so that we can
reach closer to the ultimate goal that is forgiveness.
By ourselves, we could never accomplish this because
the hurts run too deep. The very reason for His suf-
fering was so we could be free from the debilitating
burdens of hurt and resentment. Once we are able to
forgive, we are set free. This doesn’t mean that those
who mean us harm should be allowed back into our
lives; it does mean that we are charged to continue
our prayers for them. And, maybe one day, they will
realize the damage they inflicted, whether intentional
or not.
I always believed that if you nurture people
and honestly share your time and talents with them,
you would have a friend for life. This is the problem
with allowing our faith to rest in people. Even the
people we love most in this world will disappoint us
and let us down at some point in our lives. In turn, we
may let those we love down, too. The only real foun-
dation we can stand on is that of our Lord and Savior,
Jesus Christ.
This New Year – and especially throughout
this upcoming month dedicated to those we love – I
am vowing to focus on the positive in every way. The
most difficult part of that will be a renewed accept-
ance of myself. I’m going to use my talents for the joy
and comfort of others. My goals are more realistic as
I get older. I will continue to set the bar pretty high,
but I plan to scale it this time. When things begin to
seem out of sorts and overwhelming, I’m going to pic-
ture those soldiers tapping the wall to stay alive.
Life is such a blessing! And, if we focus on
helping others and sharing smiles instead of tears, then
self fades to black and happiness shines on!

Beth Grant is an Artist, Interior Decorator and Writer. She and her husband, Don, live on their family farm in Lamar, South Carolina. They own and operate Mantissa Row in Hartsville.
27 1/25/10 11:02 AM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 27

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28 1/25/10 11:47 AM Page 1

IN his OWN WORDS

TIM LEE
I met Gaye at JCPenney in the
early 80s. She was working at a cash-wrap desk and I
worked in electronics. The first time we spoke, her self-
confidence and sense of humor jumped out at me. We soon
found out that we both love sarcasm (not mean spirited)
and practical jokes. It wasn’t long before we were going out
with friends for meals and parties. The thing is this; I guess
you can say that Gaye and I were friends long before we
became romantically involved. I was more relaxed and had
more fun when I was with her than anyone else I had
known.
I think that a lot of relationships fail because there “I can get
was never a friendship. Personally, I think that a strong rela-
tionship is an evolution of sorts; friendship evolves into through just
romance. Too many people think of love as an emotion or
chemical reaction. Think about it; you can get the same about anything
effects from chocolate or alcohol. Maybe it’s a state of mind
or something. I try not to overanalyze it. It either works
or it doesn’t.
as long as my
After five years of being friends, I found myself more
drawn to Gaye and not to others. She made me happy and best friend is
being with her was intoxicating. I asked her to marry me
after I made up my mind I wouldn’t be happy without her. beside me.”
We married March 12, 1988. The poor woman has tolerat-
ed me every since.
Before Gaye and I married, her pastor counseled us.
I’ll never forget his first question, “Will you let me talk you
out of this marriage?” My response was, “Not a chance!”
His laugh was reassuring. He did give us great advice, though, My advice is this: Don’t talk down or at her; talk to her. Spend
like never go to bed angry and have a “date night” once a week. quality time together at least once a week (date night). Do not allow
One of his best questions was,“Do you know why God made your relationship to get dull. Leave her a little note, a flower – just
Eve out of Adam’s rib?” The answer was, “He didn’t use a foot bone because. Call her once in awhile out of the blue to see how her day
because she wasn’t meant to be walked on. He used a rib because she is going. Most importantly, do not take her for granted!
was to be an equal or a partner.” Made sense to me! I heard a man say once that women married for looks, love or
Gaye and I are working towards the same goals. It takes two money. You’ll have to ask Gaye what she married for, but I think it’s
to make any relationship work, and trust is the biggest part of any rela- because I can cook.
tionship. Life isn’t easy, and it’s not always fair. We lost three children
Tim Lee and his wife, Gaye, have two children, Kaitlan and Jacob. He works
to miscarriages, but being able to communicate and lean on each other
at Carolinas Hospital System in the Engineering Department. Gaye is a
made it possible to move forward. I can get through just about any- Nurse at CHS, as well. They love the outdoors doing things like hiking in the
thing as long as my best friend is beside me. North Carolina and Tennessee mountains – things they can do as a family.
Tim’s wife and children have introduced him to Wii Fit. He thinks they find it
humorous to watch a forty-five-year-old man being tortured by a computer.
29 1/26/10 3:11 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 29

Warm Your Heart....

Nothing will delight your Valentine

like the dancing flames of a fire

1923 2nd Loop Road

Florence, SC • (843) 662-9800
www.fireituppatioandhearth.com
843-536-0660
Florence • Hartsville • Lake City
Dr. Lesley Kirby, AuD | Jane Heath, HIS #443 YOU’RE INVITED TO BROWSE OUR SHOWROOM.
Doctor of Audiology WE HAVE OVER 20 LIVE BURNING DISPLAYS!
30 1/27/10 3:54 PM Page 1

BUNS IN THE OVEN

= Happiness All Around

by Anna K. Pitts
I could go for a “perfect world” fix right now. You know, we often preface our
woes and complaints with a subtle, “In a perfect world . . .” comment, and it somehow
softens the blow of what the “real world” is actually bringing us. Quite frankly, I enjoy
that moment of surreal perfection where
I can, without guilt, imagine myself in a
“perfect world.” It’s just a
moment. No harm in that,
right? So here it is, a little
“perfect world” tease.
My living space,
which currently
consists of a
very cluttered
and busting-
at-the-seams
type of mess,
would be
organized
and styl-
ized by a
California
Closets
Professional
Consultant.
Workout clothes
(and all other clothes
for that matter) would
wash and dry themselves and
then fold themselves neatly and
drop into my gym bag each night so as
not to take time away from other, more
pleasant, daily tasks. Long-range plans for
school would be done and implemented
so I could focus on storytimes and won-
derfully creative displays in our
library. My body would cooperate
more willingly and show me
those dramatic esults I’ve
been longing to see. And, each night, I could come home, cook dinner and dine with my
closest friends and loved ones and then sit down to watch Food Network Primetime (or
The Office). All homework would be complete, and all “free time” would actually be free.
There wouldn’t be anything to fuss over but wedding plans and dinner plans.
Now. That should do me for a few days at least. The truth is, life is busy.
Scratch that. Life is beyond busy. I have begun a process of trying to accept that I am
designed to be a busy person – abnormally busy, extremely busy. Call it social, call it
“just say no,” call it my fault; but, it’s true, nevertheless. And, I can’t seem to remember
a time when I didn’t have meetings or events to go to, community, career or scholarly
responsibilities to fulfill or a week without some deadline looming in the near future. I
like it this way. It makes life eventful, and it makes playing the “perfect world” game
more fun!
I was smart about New Year’s Resolutions this year for all the above-stated
reasons. I mentioned nothing in promises to myself about “slowing down” or “relaxing
more” because I knew I wouldn’t. I don’t have the energy for that. Once I get going,
it’s best to just let my steam run its course. At the end, I’ll crash for awhile and, soon
enough, get my second wind. Right now, in February, it’s still full speed ahead! And, I
like where I’m headed!
The kitchen has been calling to me lately. Christmas allowed me a taste for
what life was like two years ago when my Honey surprised me with that long-awaited
Apple Green KitchenAid mixer. I was just as busy then, but I mustered several stagnant
moments to turn out a batch of this or that. With a few extra days off this year, I was
proud to have to wash my prized appliance more than once in the course of a day. And,
it gave me the itch. I’ve had to fight it off for a few weeks since starting back to school
and taking another class; but, I don’t know how long I can hold out. I want to bake!
My dress is being altered, and my time is very precious. Gym time and calorie
busting workouts are a must to walk confidently down that aisle in just a few short
months. I don’t need any extra opportunities to resist temptation. But, I’m not a
stranger to the ways of weight loss. Some urges must be fought; others must be fed.
This is one I will certainly feed – with bread and cake and cookies and anything dough
related! I just can’t wait!
Life is busy. Life is extremely busy and so much of it I really have no control
over now. I must finish my certification. I must stay late to do my job to the best of
my ability. I must stay on track with my planning and exercising if I hope to achieve my
goals. I chose the tasks, I set the goals and, at times, I do wonder why. But, there’s no
question that it will all be worth it soon. So, I’m making
the most of it all. It’s still my life, after all, and in just the
bat of an eye, it will be done.
Think back to your happiest times. Dig deep and
remember when you really felt full, when you really
had a great time, when you were completely at peace
and satisfied. Most all of them, for me, either were or
would have been made better with baking involved. It
comforts me to be in the kitchen. I can’t wait for the
weekends when we aren’t traveling and I can put on my new
apron and stir, sauté, simmer and roast. Cooking makes me
happy. Cooking for people brings me joy. So, I’m going to bake.
To justify it within this amazing packed schedule that’s devel-
oped around me, I’m looking at it as another necessary preparation for
the wedding. That way, it actually makes it on the to-do list: menu final-
ized (check), guest list completed (no check) Spanx purchased (BIG check),
yeast roles baked (TBA). Learning to feed my family is certainly a necessity; learn-
ing to do it on a budget, even more so. Let’s see how many loaves it takes me to get
it right.

Anna K. Pitts lives in Florence where she is the Media Specialist at Greenwood
Elementary.
31 1/28/10 9:21 AM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 31

Platinum. For the beauty you share.

1651 West Palmetto Street • Florence, SC 29501

Showroom Hours
Monday - Friday, 10am-5:30pm • Saturday, 10am-4pm • Sunday, Closed
www.jones-smith.com
32 1/22/10 12:01 PM Page 1
sho p i talk
M S J
Main Street Jewelers
with Pamela Michelle Byrd and Roy Cook
ABOUT US: Main Street Jewelers is a
member of the Independent Jewelers
Organization, which is a national association
of non-franchised jewelers. This group sup-
ports local independent jewelers and boasts
a membership of over 850 members across
the United States, Canada and the Virgin
Islands. This is a very select group, and mem-
bership identifies the jewelry store as a trust-
ed retailer.
ABOUT ME: I went to college and
worked in the operating room for twelve
years, but the confining work environment
became tedious. My love of dealing with the
public and making people happy became
obvious when Main Street Jewelers was
founded in 1997. The business has grown
over 13 years, and serving customers contin-
ues to be exceptionally rewarding to me.
STAFF: My trusted employee, Roy Cook,
Pamela Michelle Byrd was born and raised and currently lives in Darlington. She has two sons, David (18) and Lucas (15). She enjoys working out at the gym and listening
to all types of music, including Christian Contemporary and top hits. She also enjoys judging barbeque festivals and trying new and different types of cuisines.
Roy Cook
is always cheerful and ready to help with your
jewelry needs.
WHAT MAKES US UNIQUE: We
are the original Pandora retailer in the Pee
Dee. Pandora is one of the hottest jewelry
lines to hit the market in many years. Being
the oldest Pandora retailer in the area, we
have the largest selection of beads and
bracelets. We also offer Palmetto Jewelry,
which is another top-selling item.
WHAT WE OFFER: Our store carries
diamonds, watches, pearls, gold and silver
jewelry – plus many other great Valentine’s
Day gift items. In addition to jewelry sales,
we specialize in jewelry repairs, including
ring sizing, stone settings, soldering and
watch battery replacements.
MOST POPULAR IN FEBRUARY:
Now is a great time to shop for the perfect
Pamela Michelle Byrd
engagement ring for your loved one for
Valentine’s Day. We are stocked with a wide
range of loose diamonds or engagement ring
sets, which are ready to wear. We are also
offering a free wedding band with a selection
of one carat total weight engagement rings.
GOT GOLD? Make sure to check your
jewelry boxes to find broken and unwanted
gold items. With gold prices at an all-time
high, we are offering top dollar for your
scrap.
FIND US: Conveniently located at 30
Public Square in Darlington, you are just a
short drive from great savings. We are open
from 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM weekdays and 9:30
AM to 3:00 PM on Saturdays. Call us at 843-
398-0010.
33 1/22/10 9:16 AM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 33

The perfect fine

dining experience for your


special occasion.

Wedding
Anniversary
Birthdays

Corporate Meetings
Romantic Getaways

Ca l l f o r yo u r
re s e r va t i o n t o d a y !
843-665-0846
1247 South Irby Street • Florence, SC
34 1/27/10 9:35 AM Page 1

Pucker
Up!
the buzz: k
LUXIVA® Wrinkle Smoother Lips
Fuller lips are all the rage. LUXIVA® Wrinkle Smoother Lips by Merle Norman improves the look of deep
So, what’s a girl with vertical lines. It also helps to firm the lip contour. This product is in our LUX-
IVA® Wrinkle Smoother Line, which includes LUXIVA® Wrinkle Smoother
not-so-well-endowed Moisturizer, LUXIVA® Wrinkle Smoother Eye Cream and LUXIVA® Wrinkle
Smoother Lips.
kissers to do? Rita A. Buck,
Merle Norman Cosmetics of Darlington,
Betty Stevens Cosmetology Institute

If you’re looking to make the lips

you have look smooth and plump, JUVÉDERM® Dermal® Fillers
Lookin’ Good! Aesthetics provides JUVÉDERM Dermal Fillers, which plump the lips up. And, we
the answer may be as simple as have a skin care line from Europe – MATIS-Paris – which has a product called Response Corrective
choosing a great product to do the Instant Filler, which is a new-generation plumping skin care product. We also do Permanent Lip liner
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trick. If you desire results that are ly accentuate your face.
There are several options for fuller lips:
even more profound, there are • Topical Products – Non-invasive skin care products
cosmetic procedures that promise • Dermal Fillers (JUVÉDERM®, Restylane®, Perlane®) – Minimally-invasive injectable Hyaluronic
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• Permanent Fillers – Invasive procedure usually performed by a plastic surgeon, using your own
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questions or suggestions for • Makeup – With the help of makeup, traditional makeup or permanent makeup, you can achieve the
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a topic that you would like Lookin’ Good! Aesthetics offers Topical Products, Dermal Fillers (JUVÉDERM®), Permanent
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editor@shemagazine.com.
Include “Beauty Buzz” as Sherrie Hyler, RN, CPCT
Medical Director: Dr. Daniel Hyler
the subject. Lookin' Good! Aesthetics
35 1/21/10 12:53 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 35

LOVE
YOUR
LOOK!

315 Rainbow Dr.

Florence
843-665-6868

Our CARE Team

(Compassionate And Reliable Experts)
includes:
• Physician
• Licensed Master of Social Work
• Registered Nurse
• Volunteers
• Chaplain
• And many others
• Certified Nursing Assistant

Ascension Hospice is a family-owned and operated

hospice agency serving terminally ill patients
across South Carolina.

We bring to our patients and their families

the same personal attention and care
we would for our own families.

1303 W. EVANS S
FLORENCE, SC
(843) 468-9700
7142 WOODROW ST. • IRMO, SC • (803) 796-9296
36 1/28/10 9:17 AM Page 1
T
The constant flood of award shows
broadcast on television during the first couple
of months each year captivate my attention. I
love watching them, a pastime obviously shared by many
of my friends and even some of you folks out there. If for
no other reason than being a welcome voyeur, we are
invited to witness the red carpet interviews, watch the
celebrities flaunt Vera Wang, clutch their spouses so
other stars won’t steal them away and ogle over jewelry
that no one really owns but borrows for the special night
of spotlight.
Incidentally "Cojo," alleged fashion expert, and I
often disagree on who was "best or worst dressed" at
these events. I even shudder at the caustic remarks he
makes. I assure you, I would never hurt Meryl Streep's
feelings by saying something insulting, even if she did look
like a Persian Rug with feet on the People's Choice
Awards or that Ryan Seacrest's apparent spray on tan
made him look like a rejected copy of a Dick Clark
model from the wax museum.They don’t need the added
pressure of our personal, albeit, clever opinions.
At any rate, I love most of the speeches at these
events. Especially when young men thank their mothers on
camera in front of millions of people for making them the
fine characters they are today (hint, hint to the offspring of
mine) and older women like Betty White still act a bit foxy
and flirty at the age of 88. Now, I don’t care for political
pontifications, attacks on conservative values, really
raunchy comments just for the sake of being bawdy or
Hollywood inside jokes that make me feel like I am out of
the loop on celebrity gossip. Producers of these annual
specials need to understand that impressionable young
people are watching… and so am I. As I near 50 years of
age, I know I am becoming more of a stick in the mud. No
need to remind me, my younger staff at work already
does. It's just that I believe that Pixar animated flicks don’t
Jumana A. Swindler, a resident of Florence, is the Director of Marketing and Public Relations for McLeod Health. Her personal favorite pastimes, reflected in her writings, are RV'ing, movies,
And, the
Award
Goes
To...
have to have curse words and be rated PG or R for me
to want to see 'em; I'll take a good G movie any day of
the week and scary movies don't have to be drenched in
gallons of fake blood with rolling heads falling off the
screen for me to find a plot hair raising.
And as far as the awards have gone this year,
there's not much of a surprise except that they have
ended in the time allotted to fit the network schedules.
The 11 o'clock news wasn't preempted at all this season
and George Clooney looked adorable on every one of
the six awards shows he attended, I might add.
So, I was thinking, what if we could give our own
Awards on National Television. I'd call mine the BRAG
Awards. (Being Really Awesome and Great) at something.
I'd invite George to be the guest host, just 'cause he is
philanthropic, smart, single and sooooo purty…. (and he
even wears his very own cuff links.) The trophy would
either look like him or Simon Baker (from The Mentalist)
- - another cutey patooty with the one fabulous thing
Clooney ain't got - that beautiful Australian accent. But
for my BRAG Awards, no recognition would be given to
the Hollywood elite. They would be handed to the real
"stars." It would be for all around, outstanding contribu-
tors in my life. And, I'd make the event on a holiday, like
February 14, to show that I really love the recipients.
My first award for the evening would be to a
Best Supporting Character who has joined me in numer-
ous exploits - - life changing events, like first jobs, first
marriages, first births, and other good times, or bad times in
3-D, like Deaths, Diets and Disappointing Dates - a fellow
journalist and long time friend, Brenda Harrison.
(Audience cheers loudly here.) I would ask her to tape
her thank you speech and watch from home, though…
(She's single and has a thing for George Clooney, too. I'm
not to proud to admit that she knows I'm sneaky enough
to want to keep her grubby paws away from George, too.)
Theater, fishing, reading and spending time with her son and family.
Sincerely Yours,
Jumana A. Swindler
For Best Animation in a Lifetime Series, to one
of the most dramatic and histrionic people I know, the
winner is ….. my son, Adam…..who says he gets that
"passion" and flair for the outrageous from me. But I
know better. It comes from his father's side of the family.
(They live out of town and don’t get SHE, so I can say that.)
For Best Judge of Character among human and
animal life, that goes to my dog,Vegas. She flat out despis-
es: possums, signs that say "No Pets Please" and cats. (I
am not particularly fond of items from this list, either.)
Additionally, Vegas will also bark ferociously at the TV
during the ABC Nightly News when George
Stephanopoulos is anchoring or when Nancy Pelosi is on
CSPAN. (So do I.)
For Best Lead in a Daily Drama, that honor goes
to my boss who handles each day with strength and
grace, and not because of the work he does or where he
does it, but the fact that he puts up with my antics calm-
ly on a regular basis. (Thank goodness, too. I need my job
to pay for my Digital TV bundle plan in order to watch
awards shows and the Hallmark channel in High Def.)
For Outstanding Special Effects, the award goes
to my Dad, who always puts the luster and the magic in
all our encounters and during special times together or
apart, especially fishing expeditions he goes on when I'm
not there. There's nothing better than the sound effects
or the bigger than life "productions" he contrives about
the size or number of fish he claims he caught, but chose
to "let go for a chance to catch it again next time when
you can go with me," he always says.
And finally, for best overall performance, the
commitment to seek the fun and enjoyment from the
world around us, the prize goes to You, the dedicated
SHE readers who seem to make it through the end of
these columns each month and even say you like it.
37 1/21/10 1:18 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 37

For more info:

1.843.665.4343
1.800.868.2613
Be pampered while you wait with a
Free Manicure!

We are located at:

602 E Cheves St.
Florence, SC

Across from the McLeod

Regional Medical Center in
the Stokes Regional Eye
Center Bldg.

PEE DEE
Ladies Day every Tuesday! OPTICAL
2300 West Palmetto Street Florence, SC 843.669.1676 www.stokeseye.com
www.florencetoyota.com

Building a successful financial plan takes the right resources. That’s why
we at PDFCU work hard to provide you with quality financial services
and products. Like our convenient, flexible Visa Classic & Visa Gold
Credit Cards. It’s accepted at thousands of locations worldwide for
just about any type of purchase you can dream up. And, unlike those
big out-of-town institutions, our card comes with the personal, friendly
service you’ve come to expect from us. So, whatever your plans,
choose the credit card that gives you all the value and buying power
you need to get your projects off the drawing board.
Stop by one of our locations to apply today!*

Enjoy guilt-free treats from Fisher Jewelers

this Valentine’s Day! New Spring Jewelry is
arriving daily - with all of the pleasure and
none of the calories of chocolate! 305 W Pine St
www.pdfcu.org Florence
843-669-0461

*Subject to credit approval. 3200 West Palmetto St.

1615 W. Palmetto Street • Florence Visa Classic Fixed at 11.99%. Florence
665-6410 • Monday-Friday 10-6 • Saturday 10-4 843-665-9490
38 1/25/10 9:20 AM Page 1

38 • February 2010 • She Magazine

UPCOMING EVENTS
•Tropicana Casino, Atlantic
are benign (noncancerous) tumors that
City, (Feb. 26-28th) grow on or within the muscle
$89pp red-eye trip tissue of the uterus. Approximately
20-40% of women 35 years and older
have fibroid tumors. Uterine Fibroids
are more common among women of
African-American descent.
Disney Trip (June 13-15,2010)
•D
Symptoms
$285pp(2)$265pp(3)$245pp(4)
• Very heavy menstrual bleeding
some times with clots.
•EEssence Music Festival • Pelvic pain or pressure leading
(July 2-5, 2010) $495pp(2)$395(3) to constipation and/or urinary
frequency.
• Anemia- resulting in fatigue
due to low blood count.
• Enlarged abdomen

If you are experiencing any of these

Labor Day Weekend
•L symptoms, you may be a candidate for
Uterine Fibroid Embolization (UFE).
Nassau/Freeport Bahamas It is a minimally invasive procedure
Cruise from Charleston, SC Sept. 1-6, 2010, $395pp-IN, $425-OV designed to block the blood supply to
these tumors resulting in resolu-
**All trips include Motor Coach transportation.** tion of symptoms and shrinkage
of the tumors. Recovery time is
usually less than one week.

FOR MORE INFO.

www.carolinatravel.org PLEASE CONTACT :
Mary Beth Lewis, MD
843-382-9293 Florence Radiological Associates
1776 Cedar Swamp Rd.
Kingstree, SC 29556 843-777-8893

$1000 PLUS SPECIAL*

$1000 off Zerona, SmartLipoTM, & Mini Tummy Tuck
Plus Get your first two months of physician monitored weight loss
appointments FREE! (Medication not included with this offer)

WE ALSO OFFER NEW SERVICES!

Botox Facial Fillers
Particle-free Microdermabrasion Mini Tummy Tuck

• Facials and Sugar-Scrub Exfoliation & Hydrating treatment

OTHER SERVICES INCLUDE:

• Dermaplaning with Mini-Facial

• Obagi Nu-Derm Rx Skin Care products
• Chemical Peels: Skin Medica Vitalize & Illuminize and Obag'is Blue Peel
• Full Body Waxing, including Brazilian Bikini
• Treatment of Leg Spider Veins and Facial Spider veins
• Laser Skin Tightening for face and neck
• Acne Treatment plan for DRAMATIC improvements -- teens and adult
• Photo-Dynamic Therapy for Warts, Sun Damage, Active Acne
• Permanent Makeup
Susan Zavell, R.N., B.S.N., 509 S. Coit Street • Florence, SC
• Latisse - Rx only lash growth technology
Licensed Esthetician 843-676-1435 • 843-667-1919
• Revitalize Peel, which can give excellent results
www.windhamaesthetics.com
without the expense and downtime of lasers
Nancy Windham, M.D. www.myheavenlyskin.com
41 1/27/10 3:17 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 41

If so, join Denley at The Grove on Saturday,

• Enjoy a Tour of the Grove
• Materials are provided for the class
• Lunch provided
• Invite one guest to join you for the
evening meal
• You can spend the night at the regular
room rate
$ 40.00
March 6th. Class begins at 10 am and concludes
with the evening meal prepared during the class.
The Grove
The Inn on Harlee
408 Harlee St. • Marion
Denley & Ann Caughman

For more information, call 843.423.5220 or visit www.montgomerysgroveinn.com

42 1/26/10 3:14 PM Page 1

She’s closet 1

State of Lace
Feminine, Romantic Details...

1. Chiffon Floral
5 “Bib” Necklace
Flirt, Florence

3
2. Anne Pearson Designs
Gold Leaf & Pearl Earrings
Lynda English Studios, Florence

3. Kristin Davis Floral Lace

Overlay Strapless Dress
Belk, Florence

4. Organza Rose Clutch

Goosie Ganders, Florence

5. Black & Pink Lace dress

Flossie Mae’s, Hartsville

4
43 1/21/10 1:25 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 43

104 N. MacArthur Ave • Dillon, SC

843-774-9243

1970 E.Hwy 76 • Marion, SC

843-423-2492

62 Public Square • Darlington, SC

843-395-2252

2151F W. Evans St. • Florence, SC

843-662-0971

205 Kelly St. • Lake City, SC

843-394-1494

Merle Norman Cosmetic Studios have been independently

owned and operated since 1931
49 1/21/10 1:43 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 49

Gift Certificates
Available!
Antiques &
Consignments

Give yourself a treat for Valentine’s Day!

M-F 8:30-5:00 Sat 9:00-1:00
After hours by appointment
817-B South Cashua Drive
Florence, SC
Valentine’s Day Spa Package for $130
Includes a 30 minute massage • express facial • pedicure
Now Featuring our
Liquid Metal Jewelry Collection

www.fotosbyfaren.com
843.669.9000 / 843.687.7985 by "Sergio Gutierrez"
RAINBOW SQUARE
1800 W. PALMETTO ST • FLORENCE
843.669.4333
www.spadevie.net

The Earring Lady

Beautiful Gifts for Valentine’s Day
•Barbara Mellen’s Dichroic Glass Earrings
•Swarovski crystal hearts
•Pendants by Rena Klingenberg

2717 Second Loop Road • Florence

(Look for the Lavender House)
Monday- Saturday 10:00-6:00
843-317-1732
44 1/27/10 2:08 PM Page 1

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SHOW YOUR SUPPORT FOR A COMPREHENSIVE SMOKE-FREE ORDINANCE IN FLORENCE.

CONTACT YOUR COUNCIL MEMBERS TODAY.

Funding for ad Provided by a Community Grant from the SC Tobacco Collaborative

Facts About Smoking Provided By The American Cancer Society
47 1/22/10 11:57 AM Page 1

Susan Minck
My Family: I am married to my husband, Richard and we
have 5 dogs: Madeline Grace, Jayce, Oliver, Luke and Harley.

My Job: I am a Senior National Accounts Manager

for an edible oils company, Stratas Foods
Company, and I also work as a Realtor
with ERA Leatherman Realty.

Last Purchase: A
Dell Netbook with an
8.5 hours battery life

Favorite Movie:
Pride and Prejudice
I Absolutely
LOVE: Sweet Tarts! I One Thing You’ll Always
absolutely love anything Find in My Fridge:
sweet or sour – I am just not a Iced Tea – by the gallon!
My Escape: Reading – I am a chocolate person!
voracious reader of all types of nov-
els: mystery, the classics and drama. Something Most People
Guilty Pleasure: Mani-Pedi with a
Books, books, books! Would Be Surprised
glass of red wine
to Know about Me:
Proudest Moments: One of my I love to cross-stitch!
Beauty Product I Can’t Live
'proudest moments' was when I crossed
the finish line at the Susan G. Komen 3 Day Without: Tarte 'Lights, Camera, Splashes!'
Race for a Cure in Atlanta (2007). I had just Waterproof Mascara - It gives the longest
walked 60 miles in 3 days and raised over lashes, is waterproof AND works with my
$6,500 for breast cancer research. contacts

Biggest Challenge: Time! There never If I Could Have a Do-Over, I Would . . .

seems to be enough time in the day to get Have stayed in college one more year and
everything I need to do accomplished!. completed my Master’s degree; going back
part-time has been a hard challenge.
My Music: George Winston Piano,
Phantom of the Opera, Carrie If I Could Be a Fly on a Wall, I
Underwood, and Sarah Brightman Would . . . Love to have been at the
the last supper. That would have
Childhood Ambition: been a moment to experience.
To make a difference in the
lives of others
My Inspiration:
My Momma; she was a
gentle soul, and a kind
and loving person. Even
though she has passed, she
still inspires me everyday to
be a better person.

The One Thing I Know

for Sure: I am Blessed.
God has given me more
than I could have ever
asked for. Each day I
live a great life.
50 1/22/10 2:20 PM Page 1

Never
Say
Never! by Ferebe Gasque

“... the greater portion of love

is not that which we receive
but that which we give.”
“Never say Never.” I’ve heard that warning all my
life. So, I try to be a little more careful about using the word than I did when I was
younger. There are several things, though, that are pretty safe on my “never” list. Bungee
jumping is probably number one!
When I left Florence in 1974 to go to college in Mississippi, I said I’d never live
in Florence again. In 1992, I came back to the old home town, bought a house and,
almost 18 years later, that “never” is long lost. There are undoubtedly many other “never”
incidents that have been overturned in my life. Most of those I don’t even remember.
There is one other “never” I’ve recently had to rethink, however. Cautious, old-
fashioned, conservative me has entered the world of cyber-dating. Before you get too
excited, you need to know a few things. First, I did not meet this person on an anony-
mous website. I think that’s probably still on my never list – maybe even above bungee
jumping! I have friends who have met folks using that method and who are now hap-
pily married. Mine was a little less adventuresome. As I have mentioned before, I have
loved getting reconnected with people from my past on FaceBook. As for any other
specifics, I’ll keep you guessing. . . for now, anyway. I’m not saying I’ll NEVER tell you any-
more about it. But, since it’s early in the relationship (thirty-five years removed), I’d
rather not speculate at this point. Stay tuned. . .
I have learned several things in my new adventure of not-quite-two-months,
however, that I will share with you. I think cyberdating might just be the way to go for
those of us who are a bit older. Dating can be so awkward. With cyberdating, there is
the opportunity to get to know the other person first without having to deal with the
concerns of appearance, or finding the right words, or even discovering you really
shouldn’t have gone on that blind date after all. There are drawbacks, of course.
Sometimes, even the best-thought-out words can be misunderstood. But, hey, that hap-
pens in face-to-face conversations, as well. It has been incredibly fun to play the part of
the beautiful, sought after goddess – a role I’ve not even dreamed of in years. One of
these days reality will set in, we’ll meet face to face (again, after thirty-five years), and
we’ll find out what’s next. I am convinced that, whatever the relationship, I have redis-
covered a friend from long ago.
My friend Libby feels like God can use cyberspace to connect us to the right
people. She was a little more adventuresome than I. I’m not that brave. But, then, I wasn’t
looking for a husband, either. She says,“I had been divorced 16 years and had really given
up on the notion of remarrying. I had raised my children alone, had loved every minute
of motherhood and my career as a banker, and was settling in for the rest of my life.
Then, on a whim, I signed up for match.com. Meanwhile, in Fayetteville, he had lost his
wife of thirty-four years to ovarian cancer some years before, and joined match.com on
the advice of his daughter. By the time we first met for dinner, we already knew each
other's histories and each other's hearts and it was comfortable and wonderful. To make
a long story short, we met online, came to know each other before we ever saw each
other, and ended up marrying two years after meeting.” They’ve now been happily mar-
ried for three years.
I must admit that I’m not anywhere close to making that fateful leap. Of course,
three months ago, I would have told you I wouldn’t be cyberdating, either. I’m just tak-
ing one step at a time. I know that God is still in charge of my life. . . ALL of my life. It
will be fun to watch His plans unfold.
As I have gotten older and had the opportunity to broaden my experiences and
increase my list of friends, I have also learned that the greater portion of love is not that
which we receive but that which we give. Don’t get me wrong, I adore being adored
and complimented. I cherish being cared about. I love being loved. But, it’s much more
rewarding, at least for me, to give of myself.
Recently, I had the opportunity to go with a group from my church (First
Baptist of Florence) to Rocky Mount, North Carolina, to work with a great group of kids
for the weekend. I fell in love all over again. It was such an honor to be able to share
the love of Jesus with a group of energetic and fun children who nicknamed me “Miss
Wonderful-est.” Some of the third graders even wrote a song about me… how cool is
that? But, the best part was the giving, not the receiving.
It is my desire this year to continue to be open to God’s leadership in my life.
I don’t know what He has planned for me. But, I DO know that whatever it is will be
exciting, worthwhile, and sometimes (while not always) fun!

Ferebe Gasque is looking forward to the new adventures of this new year in her continued search for her "new normal" -- whatever that may be.
48 1/21/10 1:40 PM Page 1
53 1/27/10 1:57 PM Page 1
by Bev Kelly
MACKENZIE JANE GRIMSLEY IS A FUN-LOVING, ten-year-old in the fourth
grade at Carver Elementary School. A member of the Disciples Group at Ebenezer Baptist
Church, she is actively involved in the Children’s Church. She is a Clemson fan who loves
to go shopping, snow skiing and doing anything at the beach in the summer. When she grows
up, she wants to be a Veterinarian. The daughter of Gene and Shannon Grimsley of Florence,
Mac has two sisters, Logan (14) and Caroline (6). There is also another very important
member in Mackenzie’s family – Winston, the family’s dog, whom she loves very much.
In fact, Mackenzie loves all animals. And, this young girl has already showed how
unselfish her love for animals is. For her birthday last October, she had a skating party.
Puppy
Instead of getting gifts that a ten-year-old girl would receive, she asked everyone to bring
dog or cat food to be donated to the Florence Area Humane Society. Mackenzie wanted to
make sure the animals had extra food. The idea to ask for dog and cat food instead of pres-
ents came about when Mackenzie had her ninth birthday party, and she received so much
“stuff.” Her dad mentioned the idea of getting donations for the animal shelter instead of
presents, and Mackenzie’s eyes lit up. With excitement in her voice, she asked,“Really, I can
do that?!” That’s when the seed was planted for her tenth birthday.
Winston, her black and white, ten-year-old Rat Terrier, has been part of Mac’s life
since she was born. The family got Winston from the girls’ grandfather for their oldest
daughter, Logan, who is now fourteen. So, he actually belongs to all the girls; but, Mackenzie
spends the most time with him.
Unlike most ten-year-olds, however, Mackenzie just doesn’t love Winston when it’s
convenient for her. She understands that even though having a pet can be fun, it’s a big
responsibility. She knows that having a pet means the life and well-being of another living
Love
thing is in her hands (with the help and guidance of her parents).
Of course, the biggest responsibility of all is love – and Mackenzie gives that
unselfishly. No matter how much she grows, changes or gets really busy, she keeps a place
open in her heart for Winston. She realizes that caring for our animals can take a lot of time
and energy. Even at ten-years-old, Mackenzie is already committed, willing to work hard and
make some compromises or sacrifices in order to be a good pet guardian. Every night,
Winston sleeps in Mac’s room; he has his own pillow and blanket. She wants to take him
everywhere she goes. Once, he even went with the family to Logan’s Cross Country State
Meet in Columbia because Mac didn’t want to leave him home alone.
She also shows her love for Winston by taking responsibility for him and partici-
pating in his care. Mac’s everyday jobs include feeding Winston and making sure he has fresh,
clean water. She also helps her dad give him baths. And, to show just how much she loves
him – both in the good ways and the not-so-good ways – she cleans up outside after him.
That, in itself, shows the true responsibility that this wise-beyond-her-years young girl has
already learned. Picking up after a pet is not only the responsible and right thing to do, for
Mackenzie, it’s a way of showing that she’s thinking of Winston and not just herself in their
relationship.
She likes to volunteer at the animal shelter when she can. She walks some of the
dogs, gives them snacks and bathes them. Also, she likes to play with the cats and kittens,
Bev Kelly and her husband,Tony, live in Rock Hill, SC, with their four precious four-legged children, Zazu, Chloe, Kitty Poo and Tuh-Tuh. She works from her home office as Proofreader and Writer for She Magazine. And, she loves her
job! This month’s “Wee She” was nominated by Mackenzie’s mom and dad, Shannon and Gene Grimsley. If you would like to nominate a little girl for “Wee She,” send an e-mail to editor@shemagazine.com with
“Wee She” Nomination as the subject.
brush them and just give them more attention, which is what a shel-
ter animal needs so much of. That’s why she likes just spending time
with all the animals. With her big heart and insightfulness, she knows
that’s what’s important. Mackenzie loves to go to the shelter and would
love to be able to go a lot more. Each time she goes, though, she always
wants to bring all the animals home with her.
Mackenzie has been affectionate with animals her whole life. As a lit-
tle girl, she never really played with many baby dolls or Barbie dolls; she always
wanted stuffed animals or pets. She got a Veterinarian Set when she was eight-years
old. She still has it and plays with it at home.
At ten-years-old and putting precious animals’ needs before birthday presents,
Mackenzie seems to already have the perfect mindset to be a wonderful and caring
Veterinarian when she grows up. Whenever they take Winston to his Veterinarian, she
always wants to go and hold him while the doctor sees him. If they have to leave him, she
makes sure he has a toy and a blanket. Winston’s best interests are always top priority for
Mackenzie.
She seems to know no fear of animals. She’ll go up to almost any kind of animal –
not knowing what kind of background it comes from. Although this can be very dangerous,
she thinks she can love them all and they all will love her. In a way, animals seem to know
that about Mackenzie. Sometimes, dogs and cats will shy away from children because they
can be too energized around an animal, which scares them. With Mac, however, it seems
that animals just seem to know that she’s okay. Even when she’s on the beach, it’s as if the
seagulls follow her around. (It could be because she likes to feed them all the time; but, again,
that shows that she is thinking about them and not just frolicking in the beach.) The family
went to Swan Lakes in Sumter when Mac was around five or six, and the geese all flocked
towards her. “It was a little scary because they were so much taller than Mac was, but she
was okay,” Mac’s mother says.
Mackenzie doesn’t just like the warm and furry animals; she loves birds, turtles and
lizards, too. This past spring, they were at the beach and Mackenzie, her sisters and mom
were going by the Flea Market. Mac’s dad told them, “Don’t bring back any kind of animal.”
But, what did they do? They brought back a baby Red Ear Slider Turtle. Crush (as he is
named) now resides in Mackenzie’s room in a big aquarium. When she grows up, she plans
to have all kinds of different animals at her home.
With obvious pride for their daughter, Shannon and Gene Grimsley say,“We were
so proud of Mackenzie to decide to ask for donations for the Humane Society rather than
get birthday gifts. It shows a selfless quality that we hope grows in her life. We definitely
think Mackenzie has a heart and love for animals, and we are encouraged to see where it
takes her in her life.”
Anyone who has ever loved a pet has known the very special magic that they give
us – nonjudgmental, unconditional love and affection. A lot of forty-year-olds haven’t had the
honor and privilege of knowing that magic. At only ten, Mackenzie already has. All from a
precious little dog she calls Winston.
54 1/25/10 11:14 AM Page 1
by Ouida K. Page
, RN, LPC
A A happily-married woman can teach you how to choose the right
man because she has succeeded in this area. When a woman is happily mar-
ried, it indicates that she has worked through many of her own personal issues
and has figured out what she wants and needs in a relationship. When she
knows these things about herself, she’s able to convey them to her partner. A
happily-married woman usually shows that she’s a good communicator and
can express her needs effectively. This helps her husband to understand and
remember what these needs are when specific situations arise.
One example might be that she needs help with certain tasks with
the children when she is stressed or working on other projects for the fami-
ly. Also, at a certain time of the month, she may need more understanding. If
she has negative symptoms with her period, she may need a reminder that it
will soon pass. During this time, she may be more stressed and need help with
dinner and homework at night when everybody is home. A man with sensi-
tivity to these things is important when picking a husband because this kind of
sensitivity is a trait that not all men possess.
It’s important to prayerfully pick a husband that is as hard a worker
as you are. Who wants the burden of taking care of her husband, especially if
she’s struggling herself? Most women need someone to support and encour-
age them because they have been delegated so many responsibilities, which
include cooking and buying the groceries, taking care of the children’s needs,
taking them to afterschool activities, disciplining them (some men help with
this), keeping the house clean and straight (or seeing that a maid does it),
working in the yard (or overseeing a yardman to complete the task). Along
with all these responsibilities, these women may be working a full-time job, as well.
Hello! Who can do all of this? Nobody can! This is why a woman
needs a team member that jumps in and helps whenever he can without her
always having to stop and explain and ask for help. This positive man would
see things that need to be done and feel that the tasks are important enough
to do without any arguing or negativity.
Ouida K. Page is a Master’s Prepared Licensed Professional and National Board Certified Counselor. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing and is a member of Sigma Theta Tau (International
Honor Society of Nursing). She has been in private practice in the Hartsville and Florence areas for over 15 years, specializing in families and issues relating to children,
adolescents and women of all ages. She is married and has one son who has graduated from Wofford College. To contact Ouida, you may call 843-398-0915.
You may also contact her by e-mailing editor@shemagazine.com with “Ouida” as the subject matter.
Love
Lessons :
What Happily-Married
Women Can Teach You About
Choosing the Right Man
Some women are blessed enough to not have to work outside the
home. (They have enough to do inside the home.) Those women need a man
that is dependable and can work a steady job and bring in an income for the
family. It’s very stressful for a woman to do everything at home and provide
the income. If she provides all the income, her husband should be a stay-at-
home dad. That way, she can focus on her career and not be responsible for
everything else since she is the one providing the only income.
Happily-married women can help provide other women with positive
advice and love lessons, and they can be mentors and role models. By
observing a happily-married woman interact with her husband and seeing how
they live their lives, other women can figure out a lot of the issues they may
have regarding what kind of characteristics they need in a man in order to have
a great husband.
I also think that if you are a Christian, you need to marry a Christian
man so that you will have many ideas and beliefs in common. Otherwise, there
will probably be a lot of conflict in this area of spirituality, which encompasses
many things, situations and beliefs.
If you know a happily-married woman, you may want to sit down with
her and pointblank ask her specific questions about different things pertain-
ing to relationships and marriage. This may be a tremendous help to you, espe-
cially if your own parents didn’t get along or if you’ve been in a difficult mar-
riage before. Some women find it very helpful to talk with a counselor and
get advice and develop an understanding of what went wrong in the first mar-
riage and what they can do differently in a new relationship. That way, they
don’t repeat the same behavior with a new individual, expecting a different
result. This happens a lot.
So, good luck in finding that happily-married woman to talk and net-
work with and you will be certain to improve your marriage or decide what
values are important to you in a marriage relationship. Love lessons are very
important to all of us and not like anything else we will ever have to figure out!
55 1/25/10 11:07 AM Page 1

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56 1/25/10 11:17 AM Page 1

I Know
What
Love Is by Aron Cannon Smith
by Aron Cannon Smith

“I found the one my heart loves.

I held him and would not let him go.”
Song of Solomon 3:4

a Fellowship of Christian but far from typical to the two of us. This was a love like
Athletes meeting at the nothing I had experienced before. I knew that the Lord
Love . This is University of South had given to me what I had prayed for since I was a young
Carolina. One of my friends teenager – a godly man to love me unconditionally.
something I know. was dating his roommate, Collin and I have gone through so much in these
I know the never-ending, unfailing, constant and always
and Collin and I were intro- past ten years. We’ve lost jobs, started a business from
faithful love of a Savior. I know the supportive love of
duced after the meeting the ground up, lost a business, had babies, lost babies,
family, the always-there-for-you love of a best friend. I
was over. There was some seen the thrill that comes from owning a successful busi-
know the unbelievably overwhelming love that takes over
casual flirting, but nothing ness and so much more. I’ve experienced the most
when you become a momma. In fact, the first time I was
really special. But! After I painful times of my life with this man; but, I’ve also expe-
in She Magazine was February, six years ago, and that
got back to my apartment that night, I could not get him rienced the most joyful times. And, both have made us –
“Baby Love” is the reason why. I had just given birth to
off my mind! And, when my roommate asked, “So, Aron, as a couple – stronger.
my first child, my son, and was experiencing firsthand the
who’s this Collin guy?”, I immediately responded, “I’m When I think of marriage, I always think back to
in-your-face, knock-you-down, overwhelming, you’ll-
going to marry him.” She, of course, looked at me like I a simple diagram that was presented to us in a college
never-ever-be-the-same-again kind of love that comes
had completely gone off the deep end – and rightfully so. I Bible study group long ago. It’s a triangle with one of the
when you see your baby’s face for the first time. It’s pow-
mean, I knew nothing about him (other than I thought he bottom points being the husband, the other one the wife,
erful! All those loves I’m referring to are powerful. Love
was really hot in that Carolina Lacrosse T-shirt!). and the top point, God. Basically, as each person seeks
is an amazing thing, and I am so blessed to have so many
Weeks passed and we kept running into one God individually, it will draw them closer to one another.
loves in my life.
another. For a year, our paths had never crossed and It’s simple, makes total and complete sense and is some-
However, the love that immediately came to
then, all of a sudden, I couldn’t go anywhere without run- thing you’ve probably seen before. But, I am here to tell
mind when I thought about writing this story is the love
ning into him. We met up at parties, walking around cam- you that it works! Without a doubt, any rocky times in
of my Beloved – my husband, Collin. Collin and I will be
pus, at summer concerts in the park. It was becoming our marriage can be traced back to times when, individ-
celebrating our tenth anniversary this year. And, there is
hard to get him off my mind. We soon started to be ually, Collin and I were not where we needed to be with
no one else on this earth that I would rather spend time
more intentional about our meetings. And, when we God. But, experiencing this love that God has given to us
with. I know it sounds cliché, but I am so much more in
finally decided that we were in fact, dating, our friends when we seek Him is mindboggling. And, so fun!
love with him now than I was when we were dating,
responded with “Yeah, you have been for awhile.” They These past ten years with my love have been the
engaged, on our wedding day – even on the days that we
all knew it. It just took us a little while to figure out. best of my life. And, I want a billion more years with him.
had our two precious babies. I love this man on so many
I can’t imagine it getting better – but, I know it will.
different levels, and words could never do it justice.
Our courtship and engagement were typical –
I remember the night we met. It was at

Aron Cannon Smith and her husband, Collin, live in Florence. They have a son, Makgil (5) and a daughter, Clara Beth (3).
59 1/26/10 2:55 PM Page 1

chicklit:
What’s on Lee Blackmon’s Best-Seller List?

THE WEDDING
by nicholas sparks
I enjoy reading about marriages. The differ-
ences from one marriage to another intrigues me.
In The Wedding, Nicholas Sparks took me through
the heartfelt journey of a marriage.
Wilson and Jane have been married for
thirty years and have two children. As an attorney,
Wilson, provided for his family but spent more time
at work than at home.
With the children grown and out the
house, he started noticing there was no romance in
their marriage. He realizes his job had taken prior-
ity and he and Jane have grown apart. He feels
that she’s no longer in love with him. Wilson is still in
love with his wife and decides he’s going to do what-
ever it takes to win her back – the love of his life.
Through the conversations and memories
with his father-in-law, Noah,Wilson started to work
his way back into Jane’s heart. The wedding of his
daughter is the pull-at-your-heartstrings moment in
this Nicholas Sparks’ book, The Wedding.
When I finished reading this book, with
tears in my eyes, I told my husband he needed to
read it. It’s definitely a must-read for the husband
and wife. I enjoyed reading about this marriage, and
I look forward to thirty years with my husband.
The Wedding reinforced the necessity of
romance in a marriage. Keep the romance alive
every month of the year – not just February. Don’t
let life get in the way of your love at home.

Originally from Marion, Lee Blackmon and her husband,Will, live in Huntingdon, United Kingdom, where they are on assignment with the
United States Air Force. This assignment has proven to be a blessing; it is giving them the opportunity to see so much of Europe. In their
short time there, so far, they have taken trips to Germany and Spain. But, there is so much more for them to explore.
60 1/26/10 12:50 PM Page 1

Be in She
C om i ng i n
APRIL 2010

WOMEN
AT
WORK

She is
looking for
GENDER BENDERS -
women with jobs that are
typically held by men.
G E N D E R B E N D E R S will be
a par t of an issue called
BLOOM WHERE YOU’RE PLANTED
- coming in April.

DEADLINE FOR CONSIDERATION IS FEBRUARY 28th

If you would like to have your job profiled, send a detailed e-mail
to editor@shemagazine.com. Be sure to Include a day and evening
phone number with APRIL 2010 in the subject line.
61 1/26/10 1:18 PM Page 1

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62-63 1/28/10 10:04 AM Page 1

Amanda Baxley with Madison and Myra

Amanda Lee with Tanner

Tara Barrineau with Brittany and Jackson

Lamonda Sweat with Jake and Dori

Amanda Tracewell with Griffin and Bryson

Shanna Edwards with Gracie

Michelle Brown with Haleigh

We sent out a
“baby love” call
on Facebook and
our inboxes were
filled with smiles,
hugs and kisses. Eliza Miles with Mackenzie
Misty Owens with Carrington and AnaClaire

All to prove that

there truly is no
Elizabeth Rogers,
Tracie Norris with Langley and Waverly love like a
mother’s love.

Regretfully, we
Ashley McClam with Talyn and Keely
couldn’t print
them all - howver,
we saved the rest
for MOTHER LOVE
- coming in May!

Melinda Norwood with Cassidy and Lee

Jessica Sawyer with Nathan and Payten
62-63 1/28/10 10:05 AM Page 2

Emily McInville with William

DeAnna Humphries with Savannah

Courtney Timmons with Barrett

Courtney Baxley with Gene Robert Jr.

Ashley Eaddy with Eli and Kinsley

Crystal Garris with Skylar

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64 1/27/10 2:15 PM Page 1

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She Magazine • February 2010 • 65

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66 1/25/10 1:15 PM Page 1

Jo Pike
The American Red Cross
everyone who needs it. I help businesses, churches and schools set up blood drives in
the Florence County and Sumter areas. I have the pleasure of working with the most
wonderful and selfless people who give their time over and over again.
Without question, what I enjoy most about my job are the donors I have had
the pleasure to meet. I make it a priority to go to as many of my blood drives as pos-
sible, and I’ve met so many incredible people. There is one donor in particular who
should be an inspiration to us all. He will be donating his 365th unit of blood at the
end of February at Tuomey Hospital!
The most difficult part of my job is trying to get people to donate blood. It’s
important for everyone to know that you have the power to save a life – and you never
know who you’re going to help. It could be a premature baby, a cancer patient, children
and adults with leukemia, patients with sickle cell anemia, accident and burn victims,
trauma patients and patients facing critical surgeries that would not be here today with-
out the blood you gave. That’s a lot of people who are counting on you!
The need is constant, so we are always looking for help in our community. If
you are a church, business or school that could sponsor just one blood drive per year
in the Florence, Darlington or Sumter County areas, please call me at 843-229-3061.
We make it very easy and provide everything you’ll need. For everyone already doing
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I am blessed to be a part of this life-saving mission, and I am so thankful to be
working with such a caring community. I would like to dedicate this quote to all my
sponsors and blood donors. Thank you for all you do!
I have lived and traveled all over the United States and abroad.
It was so nice to finally settle in Marion, SC, and put down some roots about “We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility.
fourteen years ago. We welcomed two more children into our family during this time. It’s easy to say, ‘It’s not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem.’
Little did we know that our world would soon be turned upside down when we Then, there are those who see the need and respond.
learned that our two-year-old son, Hunter, had autism. My job as a stay-at-home Mom I consider those people my heroes.” ~ Fred Rogers
would quickly end as I put my heart and soul into starting a small nonprofit organiza-
tion in 2001 that would help him.
This small nonprofit would turn into something much bigger and is now
known as the National Autism Association. I was appointed Director, and the experi-
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ence I would gain here would lead me to my current job with the American Red Cross.
I’ve been so blessed to have jobs in my life that truly make a difference. God has opened One accident victim can use
so many doors for me and has made it very easy for me to walk right through. up to 100 pints of blood!
I began working for the American Red Cross in June 2005 as a Donor
One donation can help save three lives!
Recruitment Representative. When I read the job description, I knew it was made just
for me. My job is to make sure that there is always enough blood on the shelves for

Jo Pike is married to Greg and has four children, Matt, Aaron, Hunter and Taylor. She is Co-Director of the Marion Baptist Children’s Choir and enjoys being involved in Judgment House.
67 1/22/10 1:57 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 67

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She Magazine • February 2010 • 69

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70 1/22/10 1:38 PM Page 1

When
“Til Death Do Us Part”
Becomes Reality
How to Cope with the Loss
of Your Soul Mate
by Carol Adams PhD

“When I think about life without him, it’s like looking at the sun; I
can only do it briefly and then have to turn my attention away.”

Nothing in life is better than having a long, happy marriage. In this cold, cruel I cannot imagine the “alone-
world, knowing that there’s one human being that puts you first is so very comforting ness” I would feel without my hus-
and reassuring. Despite the fact that we hear more about all the marriages that end in band in the world, and I’m sure a part
divorce, I still know lots of people who are – and have been – happily married for a long of me would truly feel as if it had
time. They share their lives together, their dreams, their hopes, their children and their died. However, I think I could find
grandchildren. In short, they have a lifetime of history together. comfort in all that we have shared and
What happens when one member of the couple dies? How does the surviv- all that I have learned from him through
ing spouse go on in a world that has taken away her true soul mate? (And, I hesitate the years. Things like being more
to use “soul mate” simply because it has been trivialized recently by so many individu- patient, more thoughtful about what I
als referring to their paramours as soul mates!) say to others. And, that would be good.
Personally, I’ve been married 44 years to a man that I adore and enjoy more Friends often think that the
today than I even did back in the beginning. We have a marriage that has really grown holidays and special occasions are the
and deepened over the years. When I think about life without him, it’s like looking at toughest times for surviving spouses
the sun; I can only do it briefly and then have to turn my attention away. and, certainly, they can be tough. A lot of
Holmes and Rahe, who did lots of studies on stress back in the 1960s and its people have told me, however, that those
impact on physical health, developed a stress rating scale based on their research. They are not the worst times. The worst times
assigned a certain number of “stress points” to various life stressors. Death of a are the “ordinary” times such as coming
spouse was assigned the most points of any of the life stressors. While on some level, home from work to an empty house, bed-
we know that this might be something that could happen to us in the future, we don’t time when you have no one to curl up
really think much about it. When it happens, obviously, the emotions run the gamut – beside, those Saturday mornings when you stayed
shock, sadness, fear, anger. in bed together just a little longer or cooked pancakes
Individuals that I have known through the years, including some of my own together or went out for that special breakfast. Friends tend to rally more around sur-
family members who have lost their spouse, have truly struggled trying to find new vivors on those “special” days, so there’s really a lot more support at those times than
meaning in their lives as they move forward as a “single” instead of a couple. Many indi- some of the more difficult times that occur much more frequently.
viduals talk about various ways they deal in those early days with the loss such as sleep- Most survivors say that friends are very supportive for a while, and then they
ing with an item of clothing that belonged to their spouse because they can still “smell” really get worried that you’re not “getting on with life,” even though you may still be
his or her presence. One person told me about actually placing the spouse’s pajamas grieving. It’s important to know that grief is very personal, and everybody has to do it
on the bed beside her, somehow believing that he would be in the bed with her the in their own way. While one person may find that being with others is helpful, some-
next morning if she did. Even though, intellectually, she knew this wasn’t going to hap- one else may find that having more alone time is comforting. As long as you’re getting
pen, it was something she needed to do. These are all natural reactions to such an over- up, getting dressed and putting one foot in front of the other each day, that’s about all
whelming loss. I think that could be expected for quite a while.
When there is time to prepare for death, at least there’s an opportunity to say Having said all that, it’s important to live every single day in our lives together.
goodbye – to let your spouse know how much they have meant to you. Sudden and We all live as if nothing is ever going to change – the ones we love will always be here
unexpected death removes that opportunity. Having the time to let your spouse go can and loving us. It’s so important to cherish the ones we love, let them know how much
be helpful. In the case of extreme illness, seeing your spouse no longer suffering can they mean to us and never take them for granted because the truth is, we/they won’t
actually be a relief and somehow ease the separation. always be here. We don’t like to think about that part. Talking about death isn’t some-
An analogy that someone told me about seems to fit. A minister was speak- thing most of us like doing, even though it’s a real part of life. Since Valentine’s Day is
ing about losing a spouse. He said that if you take two pieces of wood and glue them coming, maybe that could be just the opportunity to let your spouse know how special
together, they become one – much like a husband and wife. The wood stays glued he or she is.
together for 30 or more years and then, one day, the two pieces have to be separated. If you’ve continued reading this article and are totally depressed, by all means,
It’s not a clean separation; some of the wood rips off each board. In that same way, go out and cheer yourself up by doing something fun with your spouse. Maybe you can
when your spouse dies, a part of you dies, too. I like that analogy, but I think of it with go see the new romantic comedy, Valentine’s Day. It looks like it’ll be fun. And, you
another step. Some of each piece of wood is ripped off, but some of each piece also could probably use a little fun right now!
sticks to the other. So, I believe that a part of the deceased spouse lives on in you, as
well. I think I would really find that analogy comforting.

Carol T. Adams, PhD, is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with McLeod Family Medicine Center in Florence.
71 1/22/10 1:48 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 71

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72 1/26/10 12:48 PM Page 1
the
Cheerful Heart
Sometimes, we take ourselves and our lives too seriously.
It can be an easy thing to do, especially when life seems to become its own domino and
one thing leads to another until we feel buried under a mountainous load of worry and
stress. As we rolled into a New Year, I felt my inner boot straps tightening as I heard of
calamity after calamity – from natural disaster to personal tragedy – and knowing that
it all seemed out of control. What is one person to do but feel overwhelmed and, some-
times, even hopeless?
In answering my own questions and dilemma, I was reminded of the year that I
spent helping to care for my mother as her mind gave way to the forgetfulness of demen-
tia. It can be a debilitating, frustrating and maybe even an embarrassing disease. For the
person with the disease, I’m sure life seems to feel like a mean villain. It’s one thing to
be robbed of personal possessions or to lose things that are priceless, but to have your
mind and other faculties stolen is fearful. And, I’m sure one feels totally helpless. For the
caretaker, it requires a lot of patience and understanding and, as much as possible, put-
ting your own feelings aside. Quite often (while not intentionally), the caretaker will be
the brunt of the frustrations and agitations that come with the losses.
Nevertheless, much of the year that my mom struggled with these issues, I
remember that we had some really good times together. I wouldn’t trade them for a mil-
lion dollars – even with the hardships. The reason for this is that along with the losses,
my mom – somehow, most of her life – had learned to take the bad with the good. And,
I remember her as being someone that never, ever lost her sense of humor. I would have
to say that she is one person who sponged as much out of life as possible in the midst
of all the responsibilities she had. She lived, loved and laughed her way through it all.
I hope our She readers won’t mind if I share a few of our stories. My most
favorite was the day my mom called to tell me she couldn’t find her pet. The funny, hilar-
ious part was that she couldn’t remember what kind of pet she had. I guess some peo-
ple could get frantic or worried about such a thing. And, I don’t mean any disrespect
for the loss of that memory, but my mom really got tickled that day about the fact that
she could not remember what kind of pet she had.
When her dog died in February of that year, we decided that although we want-
ed her to be able to be in her own home as long as possible, she shouldn’t be there
alone. Dogs require a lot of attention – feeding bathing, walking – and we weren’t sure
she could remember to do all these things, so we decided on a cat. We were trying to
help her choose a name and thinking she would be able to remember if it related to fam-
ily, we named this feline after her sister, Sally.
Paige Thomas lives in Florence with her husband, Joey, and two Sheltie pups. She has three grown sons and four stepchildren. She works part-time as
Business Administrator for the Francis Marion University Center for the Child, and she is currently licensed as a Realtor with Prudential Segars Realty in Florence.
by Paige Self Thomas
We all know cats can be quite independent and, sometimes, mischievous. So,
on this particular day, I got a call from mom that she could not find her pet. “I honest-
ly don’t remember what it is I have, Paige; but, whatever it is, I cannot find it.”
After we both picked ourselves up off the floor from laughing, I told her she
had a cat, her name was Sally and she had probably crawled into the kitchen cabinets
when Mom wasn’t looking. I went over to her house and, sure enough, Sally was hav-
ing a fun time crawling from one end of the cabinets to the other. No worries.
I think the other thing that most often comes to mind – and makes me smile
– is how often Mom asked me why she couldn’t drive. She had an accident for the first
time in her life at the age of 75. As we proceeded to file claims and work on getting
cars repaired (fortunately, no one was injured), we found that she had forgotten to pay
her car insurance, and it had lapsed. Due to her age and the liability involved with her
health, the company declined to rewrite the policy. Oh, no! This meant taking away
Mom’s keys. (That is a story in itself.)
For some reason, the thing that kept us laughing was that she couldn’t remem-
ber why she couldn’t drive. She would ask me almost every day. I told her – and wrote
it down for her – but she just could not remember. Every time she asked me, we would
laugh, and she would say, “Have I asked you that before?”
“Just ten minutes ago, but you can’t drive because . . .” I would tell her again.
I really do cherish those memories. And, I’m thankful that my mom – as meticulous and
particular as she had been all of her life about her home, her life and everything in it –
chose to live, love and laugh her way through one of the most debilitating diseases any-
one can experience. I’m thankful for her sense of humor and the joy that it brought to
us in that last year.
I don’t want anyone to think that I’m making light of the struggles of this sick-
ness, nor the trials of being a caretaker of a loved one who may be faced with it. We
all have times in our lives where we experience losses, tragedies, hardships and things
we simply cannot change or understand. For all these times, God is with us. And, He
has given us a tremendous resilience to be able to make it through the toughest of
times. In His Word, He tells us that a cheerful heart is a medicine (Proverbs 17:22) and
His joy is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10).
As we manage our lives in the year ahead, live life to the fullest! Love with all
your heart and laugh with someone every day. And, I pray that if you need Him, you will
call upon Him so that He will restore joy to you.
73 1/27/10 1:58 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 73

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74 • February 2010 • She Magazine

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75 1/28/10 10:06 AM Page 1

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE.

He gave her his heart.

He received a heart
from a donor.
She opened her heart
and learned to love
FEBRUARY 2010

after much betrayal.

She took a chance
and found love - online.
They both got a second
chance at love.
They danced their
way into each
other’s hearts.
REAL LIFE LOVE STORIES BEGIN ON PAGE 76.
76 1/27/10 11:36 AM Page 1
She: love
_Éâ|áx gA
dailey
The Art of Love
“What I love so much about painting is the freedom and exploration. Freedom of the
mind and spirit and exploration of the soul. It stretches me in a way nothing else can.”
T As long as I can remember, I have loved to draw,
usually drawing faces from my imagination. I was around
art from an early age, tagging along to galleries in down-
town Charleston with my mother – a full-time potter. At
the galleries, I was especially interested in artwork that
featured the human form.
I never really gave being an artist much thought
early on; however, I drew every now and then for fun. I
didn’t draw for many years after I married and had chil-
dren. Six years ago, though, I just knew that it was some-
thing I had to do. And, I knew I could do it – portraits
specifically. It was almost surreal; the desire to draw and
paint and learn was too consuming to ignore. I splurged
on a small but high quality set of pastels and a little easel,
some good paper and charcoals – thus the beginning of
my life as an artist, using my den as my studio. I self-stud-
ied for the first year or so. I did tons of research, read-
ing and studying countless high-quality reproductions of
works by my favorite artists, contemporary and past.
Almost immediately, I knew that being an artist
was something I wanted to do in my life. And, I never
thought of it as something I would do short-term. That
sounds crazy, but it’s true! And, initially, I didn’t expect a
part-time income; that also just happened quite organi-
cally. I did a drawing of Nora, a friend’s child. My friend,
in turn, e-mailed the portrait to Nora’s grandmother
who wanted to buy it and told me to name the price. A
photo of that little portrait is one of the few things on
the wall in my studio. In addition, many of my early
clients were cousins. I have a huge, extraordinarily loving
family, and they were all excited and extremely support-
ive of my interest in fine art.
My artistic style has evolved over time as I have
grown. Artistically, personally and spiritually I am a work
in progress. My ideas and experiences – in and out of the
studio – shape my work as a whole, so each piece is com-
ing from a slightly new place. And, that is beyond-words-
rewarding to see in my own work. Recently, however, my
work has taken on a bolder, confident feel. I find that I
leave more visible evidence of the artistic process in my
Louise T.hompson Dailey was born and raised in Charleston, South Carolina. She has lived in Florence for six years. She is a single mom to three amazing children, Marah (15), Simon (11) and Andrew (7).
finished works these days. It is much more challenging to
paint “loosely” than tight and perfect. Saying more with
less is crucial in fine artwork that endures beyond trends.
That’s something I learned from studying the work of
“the old masters.”
Hands down, my favorite things to paint are
people and animals. More specifically, I love to sketch
eyes. I could draw eyes all day long and be a very happy
girl! And, of course, some of my drawings are special to
is beautiful. She is true to herself in that. My dad was
incredibly proud of me, and that was his gift to my work.
My maternal grandmother, though, Ily Jeffers, was posi-
tively instrumental in
molding the way I
look at the world and
in shaping my attitude
towards my own
spirit. Artist, nature
me; but, really, each and every one I finish – as I finish it lover and passionate,
– is my new favorite. elegant and extraor-
What I love so much about painting is the free- dinary lady, she was
dom and exploration. Freedom of the mind and spirit the common denomi-
and exploration of the soul. It stretches me in a way nator among us all
nothing else can. I love the highs and lows, the frustra- and remains a great
tions and the aha! moments. If I ever feel as though I’ve inspiration to me.
“arrived,” I’ll do something else. But, I’m quite certain I truly
that will never happen. And, that’s what I’m in love with. believe we are all
Painting is something I can do all day – every day – until artists. That’s cliché, I
my last breath. I’ll never learn all there is to know, and know; but, as well as I
I’ll never be great enough. Always having something bet- know the back of my
ter to reach for, however, is the magic of it. hand, I know that to
Painting is tied to romance because it’s a be true. The techni-
romance with one’s self, the creative process and, hope- cal stuff, the ins-and-
fully, the outcome. It’s incredibly maddening at times outs of your chosen
because the learning curve can be so very steep. craft – those will work themselves out in time if you are
Nevertheless, it’s a pull, a draw, a love that is undeniable standing inside yourself, owning your passions. If you
once it becomes part of who you are. When it’s a piece have a drive in your heart for an art form – any art form
of your heart, all the frustrations are part of the affair. that keeps surfacing on some level – you must believe in
There is a moment during the process of painting a por- that passion with your whole self!
trait in which I suddenly – in one brushstroke or sweep Art is not about what you create, ultimately, but
of my hand – see the subject take a breath. That magic is about your attentiveness, your intuitiveness, your willing-
addictive – and seductive! ness to let the mind soar. Don’t fret over the product;
I am blessed, indeed, to be part of and inspired that’s not the point! Allow yourself to be born into the
by a family of artists and art lovers. I have been asked world of your dreams and be bold in your execution. Life
countless times what it is about my family that so many of is much too short and way too precious to go at it any
us can be artistically inclined. My mother has always had other way. Force yourself out of the box. Take the risk.
her work as a potter. At times, that’s what supported us. Make the time, and respect your multifaceted soul. It’s
She is an incredible example of someone for whom art is beyond worth it.
a way – not a product. Everything she touches is art and
77 1/26/10 1:06 PM Page 1

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She Magazine • February 2010 • 81

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She: love

\
etv{xÄÄx
WÜt~x
conner
&
“As the young couple is
embarking on their life
together, they are filled
with the same [ÉÑxá
and dreams that Jimmy
and Leila once were.”

Photography by Ricky Ford

78-79 1/25/10 1:19 PM Page 2
Eternal Love • by Cheri Jordan
\ In August 1950, Jimmy and Leila Rainwater
joined as husband and wife. They were young and in
love. Although they didn’t know what their future held
as husband and wife, they were content to be together
and were determined that their commitment to one
another would be eternal. They were so convinced of
this that they had the word “eternally” engraved on their
wedding bands.
The Rainwaters were your typical young mar-
ried couple, anxious to begin building their lives and their
family. They were blessed with two children, Avie and
Chrissy. The family attended a Methodist church in
Florence. Mrs. Rainwater said that for many years, she
believed in God but had no relationship with Him. She
thought of herself as a Christian but had little idea of
what that actually meant. It was ultimately her children
that led her to a true relationship with Christ. They had
received Christ into their lives, and she began noticing
such a change in them. On one particular occasion,
there was a group of teenagers at her home and Leila
said she remembers everything was strangely quiet. As
most mothers know, quiet usually means trouble, so she
went to investigate. It was then that she found her chil-
dren and the others in a prayer circle in the Rainwater’s
den. She listened as they were praying for the salvation
of their friends and family. At that moment, Leila realized
she didn’t have what these kids had, and she knelt right
where she was in the foyer of her home and asked
Christ into her heart for the first time. A few years later,
Jimmy made the same commitment and they were now
a complete family of believers.
I asked Mrs. Rainwater how their new commit-
ment to Christ affected their commitment to one anoth-
er as a married couple. They were already desperately
in love with one another, so that feeling didn’t change.
Their life with one another changed most through
prayer. They began praying as a couple and seeking God
in all areas of their life, not making any decisions without
praying first about what they should do. “Prayer mapped
our lives,” Mrs. Rainwater said.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t blessed to have the
opportunity to sit down with Jimmy Rainwater. He went
home to be with the Lord last January. On the morning
of January 26, 2009, Jimmy came in from his normal
morning walk. He felt a pain in his head and passed out
for a brief moment. He tried to avoid going to the hos-
pital; but, as the pain worsened, his family insisted he go
to the ER. Once there, it was discovered that Mr.
Rainwater had suffered a brain aneurism and needed
immediate surgery. In typical Jimmy Rainwater fashion,
he told the doctor he didn’t have time for surgery just
then and maybe they could reschedule for the next day.
The doctor convinced him this was something that could
not be put off.
Jimmy only had a few moments to speak to his
family before they wheeled him away. Although the family
knew this was a serious situation, they had no idea that as
they said goodbye before surgery, it would be their last. He
suffered a stroke on the operating table and never woke up
from surgery. His body held on for a few more days, and
on Saturday, January 31st, Jimmy Rainwater went to be with
the Lord. After sixty years of marriage, Leila was without
her beloved husband for the first time.
Cheri Jordan is a Florence resident and has been married to her husband, Robert, for eleven years. She is a stay-at-home mom to four children, Abbi, Luke, Savannah and Matthew.
I asked the family what kind of man he was.
Upon hearing my question, those in the room laughed
and the smiles wouldn’t leave their faces. That, alone,
told me volumes about this great man. They described
him as tenderhearted, persistent and loud about his
beliefs. He shared his faith with everyone that came
across his path, and he was very passionate about the
things he believed in. Mr. Rainwater was a very giving
man. God blessed him with a lucrative business and
income, but he didn’t keep it to himself. He shared his
wealth, giving away cars, homes and buildings. He didn’t
just see a need; he did something about the needs
around him, touching countless lives in the process.
In their sixty years of marriage, Jimmy and Leila
welcomed six grandchildren into the world. They
enjoyed spending time with each of their grandchildren
and doting on them as any grandparent would, but they
did more than that. They served as a testimony to their
children and grandchildren of what a family should be.
They were a shining example of a healthy marriage root-
ed and grounded in Christ. Although Jimmy and Leila’s
time together on earth has ended, their love and exam-
ple lives on in the lives of their family members. One
such person is their grandson, Drake Conner, and his
new wife, Rachelle.
Drake and Rachelle began dating in 2008.
Rachelle had recently moved to Florence and was work-
ing as an Intern for the Florence County Solicitor.
Not knowing many people in town, she prayed
and asked God to bring her some Christian friends.That
same week, Drake asked for Rachelle’s phone number.
Their relationship was filled with excitement from the
start. On their first date, the couple went skydiving!
Drake knew after the first date that Rachelle was the
one that God had picked for him. Rachelle, however, was
not as convinced; but, she still enjoyed spending time
with Drake. They traveled together and just had fun
everywhere they went.
Rachelle began spending time with Drake and
his family and much of that time was spent with Jimmy
and Leila, otherwise referred to as “Papa and Lala” by the
grandchildren. Eventually, Papa and Lala opened their
home to Rachelle, and she moved into the lower portion
of their home in an effort to save money. This afforded
her the opportunity and privilege of getting to know
Drake’s grandparents on a more personal level as she
and Drake continued their dating relationship.
Before Drake met Rachelle, he committed him-
self to a six-month stint with the Youth With A Mission
Ministry (YWAM). He eventually had to leave Florence
and was in Budapest while Rachelle was back home liv-
ing with his grandparents. Drake was very torn because
he felt a level of commitment to YWAM, but his heart
was in Florence with Rachelle. He was convinced more
than ever that God planned to make Rachelle his wife,
and Rachelle was finally beginning to agree. When he
could take the separation no longer, Drake skyped his
marriage proposal to Rachelle from Budapest! She
accepted and immediately ran screaming upstairs to tell
Papa and Lala.
With his fiancé in Florence and plans to be
made, Drake decided to cut his time with YWAM short
and returned home. They spent their time together as
much as possible, making plans for their future. It was
during their engagement period that Jimmy Rainwater
passed away. On May 23, 2009, Drake and Rachelle took
the same vows that Jimmy and Leila had taken sixty years
prior, and they were joined as husband and wife.
As the young couple is now just embarking on
their life together, they are filled with some of the same
hopes and dreams that Jimmy and Leila once were. They
have one very distinct advantage, though, that Jimmy and
Leila didn’t have. Drake and Rachelle have had the honor
and privilege of knowing Jimmy and Leila and observing
them as husband and wife, learning from their example.
I asked Drake and Rachelle what, specifically,
they learned from observing the Rainwater’s sixty-year
marriage. How important it is to have a close-knit fam-
ily was their response. They want to be just as in love as
Jimmy and Leila were. Drake learned about commit-
ment. “It’s not just about a marriage license; it’s about
putting that person as a priority in your life.”
Drake also learned to be thankful for argu-
ments because he sees them as an opportunity to learn
more about his wife – what her needs are, what is
important to her. Both of them realize that a key to a
healthy marriage is to keep their walk with the Lord
strong.
When asked where they would like to be after
sixty years of marriage, the couple laughed and said,“We
want twelve grandchildren!”
“Seriously, though,” Drake
said, “I want to have a successful
family like my grandparents do –
not monetary success and rich-
es, but rich in relationship and
love.” Rachelle adds, “I hope he
(Drake) makes me laugh as much as
he does now. I remember hearing
Papa and Lala in the den laughing with
one another, and it was such a neat
sound, knowing that after sixty years,
they could still have so much fun with
each other.”
The year 2009 was one with mixed emotions
for the Rainwater family. As one long marriage drew to
an end, another was just beginning. How appropriate,
though, that Jimmy and Leila had the word “eternally”
engraved on their wedding bands when they married
years ago. At the time, they didn’t even realize just what
that word meant. Now, sixty years later, it’s evident they
have had an eternal impact on the lives of others,
whether it’s through those that Jimmy shared his faith
with, those that they gave so unselfishly to or the exam-
ple they set for their family that comes behind them.
Drake and Rachelle have been touched by Jimmy and
Leila’s love and their marriage. That love lives on in
them. And, they can start a new tradition of sharing that
same example to the family members that will one day
follow them.
As this story goes to print, I realize that we’re
approaching the one-year anniversary of Mr. Rainwater’s
death. Though he is missed, his family is comforted with
the fact that, one day, they will all be reunited in Heaven
and live together again – eternally.

82-83 1/28/10 9:33 AM Page 1
She: laugh
Heart to Heart
j “We met at Pee Dee Skating Rink and started dating in May 1969. We met, dated
and married in nine months. Forty years is a long time ago, so I’m not sure how I knew we
were right for each other. I think I probably sensed that he was a caring person and an hon-
est person. We got along very well and always had a good time together,” Patsy says in
response to my question of how she knew that she and Johnny were right for each other.
Johnny’s account of that first encounter with the woman who would become his
wife and his soul mate is one of admiration for Patsy and confidence in himself. “She was
easy to look at, cute with a short haircut that was curled under. I thought that maybe if I
could impress her, she would skate with me. And, I was right. We started dating in May 1969.
I proposed New Year’s Eve, and we were married on Valentine’s Day 1970. I figured I bet-
ter move fast. And, I was right. When I started dating Patsy, I noticed she loved children,
and I knew she would be a good mother. And, I was right. I also saw the compassion for
friends and family, and I knew that was a good quality. And, I was right. She was bashful and
quiet and had some of the best morals of anyone I had ever known. So, it went from being
friends to falling in love with her in a very short time. And, it was right.”
Patsy remembers Johnny’s New Year’s Eve proposal like it was yesterday, “He’s
always clowned around a lot and when he asked me to marry him, my first response was,
‘Are you kidding me?’”
Forty years later, Patsy has never regretted her emphatic, “Yes!” to marrying
Johnny, saying,“He’s a great husband, a good provider, always putting everyone’s needs before
his own. He’s one of the most unselfish people I have ever known. His greatest joy comes
from doing for others. He has always worked hard, but the money he earned was spent on
others and not on himself. His greatest pleasure comes from making others happy.”
Johnny’s approach to fatherhood echoed that of his role of husband; he poured his
heart and love into every moment. Patsy explains, “He has been a great father to our chil-
dren, leading them by example. He was always cutting up when the children were home
and making us laugh. When they were small, he’d make faces and change his voice and they’d
laugh and laugh and beg him to do it again. He made sure that they had everything they
needed. He believed in having rules and, through his love, tried to teach them right from
wrong. They have the greatest respect for their dad and really look up to him.”
Johnny feels that it’s Patsy who gets the medal for successfully raising their two
children. “I was the main builder of our house, but she was the main builder of our home.
I worked shift work, so Patsy was the central one to support our children.”
Either way, it’s obvious that it was the love that this couple had for one another
that made them equally great parents. And, that love didn’t stop with their own children.
When Johnny became a grandfather, his capacity to love only grew. Anyone who has spent
more than a few minutes with Johnny Rogers knows that his grandchildren are the “apples
of my eye,” to put it in his words.
As wonderful as Patsy and Johnny’s life together is, it hasn’t been without struggle.
During their forty years of marriage, Johnny had a tumor and an arm injury that required a
seven-week hospital stay and eighteen more months of outpatient surgery. However, even
that didn’t prepare them for the journey that would lay ahead – a heart transplant. In 2003,
Johnny’s heart went out of rhythm. The doctors shocked it back into rhythm, and he had no
other problems until July 2008. At that time, his heart went out of rhythm again, and he was
in and out of the hospital several times trying to get this corrected. That same month,
]É{ÇÇç
ctàáç
rogers
&
Johnny was placed in the ICU, and the cardiologist informed them that his ejection fraction
(the percentage of the blood pumped out of the heart chamber during the contraction
phase) was down to fifteen, which is extremely low. Therefore, the doctor recommended
that they see a Transplant Cardiologist.
Patsy recalls the moment,“This blew our minds! And, this is when e realized how
very serious his condition was.”
Johnny received a pacemaker/defibrillator, and they waited for an appointment
with the transplant clinic. That was a restless time for the whole family. Patsy remembers
feeling so anxious because it would take until September 2008 to get their first appointment
in Charleston.
In the meantime, the doctors tried medication first because a transplant truly had
to be the last option. They decided in March 2009 that medication wasn’t going to work.
Johnny’s heart was continuing to weaken and his kidneys were beginning to be affected.
More uneasy days lay ahead as he was put through three days of testing and evaluation to
determine if he was a heart transplant candidate. A week later, Johnny and Patsy learned
that he had been accepted and he was now officially on the list. The only problem was his
status was on the B List, which meant it could be one to three years or more before he
would receive a heart.
The wait was on. The days would turn to weeks and weeks to months as they
continually made trips back and forth to Charleston to have the pressure measured in
Johnny’s heart. He had to be placed in the hospital for several days, two or three times dur-
ing this period. Once, his pressure was too high. Another time or two, his creatinine level
was not within a good range. In mid-July, he was put in the hospital again. This time, the
doctors decided it was time to put him on a continuous drip to try to help him feel better.
When placed on this drip, it means your condition is worsening; but, it also meant he would
be moved up on the list. Patsy recalls the feeling,“We could now receive a heart in the next
few months. Reality began to sink in. I knew there was the possibility that he could die
before a heart became available.”
Through it all, however, they remained positive. “I never said I don’t know how I’ll
make it without you, and he never told me things like what he wanted at his funeral. We
knew this was out of our control and we turned it over to God.” Patsy and Johnny exer-
cised their tremendous faith in the Lord because they each knew it was something they
couldn’t handle alone. They just took it one day at a time – literally.
However, one thing was for sure; Patsy and Johnny were not in this alone. First
and foremost, they knew that God was with them every step of the way, and they knew they
had the love and support from family and friends who began praying for Johnny from the
first moment in July 2009 when they found out he was going to need a transplant.
“Something like this makes you see how fragile life is. You begin to realize that all
the small stuff isn’t important. We didn’t dwell on the fact that we might not have much
time together. We just decided to fully enjoy the time we had at the moment,” Johnny said.
They went on a vacation with their children and grandchildren the first of July,
although the reality that this might be their last trip together remained in the back of their
minds. Still, they all just enjoyed being together.
Then, on a hot summer night, July 25, 2009, Johnny and Patsy received the call. The
words they had waited to hear, “There might be a heart available,” were spoken. (continued)
80 1/27/10 1:35 PM Page 1
She: live
j When Laura Driggers got married, she believed
it would be forever. She knew hers would be the once-
in-a-lifetime, happily-ever-after she had always dreamed
of. Thirteen years later, that fantasy came to a screeching
halt. Now she understands more than ever that God can
work through even the most difficult of circumstances to
reveal His love to us.
After their second child was born, Laura’s hus-
band began to show signs of clinical depression. After
their third child arrived on the scene, he was diagnosed
with Bipolar Disorder. While he loved his wife and his
children, Larry Driggers had difficulty expressing that love
appropriately as his mental illness progressed. He often
would not take his medicine as he should and wasn’t con-
sistent in following through with those things that were
so vital to his well-being. Laura says that he was never
physically abusive to her or to their children. His words
and actions, however, left emotional scars on all of them.
In February of 2005, they separated. The divorce
was final in June of 2006.
Just one month later, Laura and the children
were preparing to go to North Carolina for a family vaca-
tion. The night before departure, the children’s dad came
over and insisted that the children spend part of the vaca-
tion with him. Having finalized the plans long before,
Laura informed him that would not be possible.
After arriving the following morning, Laura and
her sister were sitting on the back porch relaxing when
Larry appeared.After a harrowing few minutes, Laura and
her sister had been shot, the police had been called, and
Larry had ended his own life, as well. And, strangely
enough, that is where the uplifting love story begins.
Laura and Robin were transported to the hospital
in Southport, North Carolina. Laura was not allowed to see
her sister at first due to the seriousness of Robin’s injuries.
They were later transferred to New Hanover Hospital in
Wilmington. Laura reports that there were so many physi-
cal evidences of God’s love throughout the ordeal.
_tâÜt
driggers
by Ferebe Gasque
While in the ambulance from Robin’s home in
Oak Island to the hospital in Southport, Laura mentioned
to the attendants that there were people who needed to
be notified. The ambulance driver called the numbers for
her and allowed Laura to speak directly to her parents
and to contacts from church, who needed to hear the
information directly from her. In the Wilmington
Hospital, one of the nurses found the cross from Laura’ s
necklace imbedded in the soft tissue of her shoulder. She
assumed the chain had broken somewhere along the way.
She was grateful to have her cross, just one more sign of
God’s presence with her.
“Through it all, Laura was
in awe of the way God ZÉw
provided and protected.”
Robin’s injuries were much more severe than
Laura’s, due to the location of the gunshots. When she
arrived at the Wilmington hospital, they were told she
would be in the trauma unit for at least ten days. Four
days later, she was released from the hospital – yet anoth-
er miracle.
After returning to Robin’s home, Laura and the
children stayed, as planned, for the remainder of the
week. Jane Smith, a nurse and friend from Florence, was
also at the beach on vacation that week. Jane came every
day to check on Robin and Laura. For a long time after
the incident, friends and co-workers continued to bring
meals to Robin and her husband.
Laura and her children returned home to find
their pantry stocked, their yard mowed, and many gift
cards to local restaurants. There were also more than
eighty get-well and sympathy cards overflowing on the
Ferebe Gasque is honored to be one of Laura's many friends.
Collin M. Smith Photography
dining room table. In addition, on the bed of each child
was a book-bag filled with school supplies.
Concerned about the trauma the new school
year might bring with all its unanswered questions, sever-
al friends organized a pool party at the home of Jane
Smith (nurse, friend, lifesaver) and invited friends of the
children and their teachers for the upcoming year. This
helped smooth the transition and alleviate the awkward-
ness of “How I Spent My Summer Vacation” scenarios.
Through it all, Laura was in awe of the way God
provided and protected. She reports that her son David
(then age twelve) showed maturity and sensitivity and
wisdom far beyond his years as he looked after and con-
soled his younger siblings and his cousins. God has truly
been good to all of them. David is now fifteen, Leigh Anna
is twelve, and Clark is eight. They are a close, loving fam-
ily, grateful for the gifts of life and each other. After they
returned home, David looked at Laura and said, “People
are nice. Life’s going to be OK. Lots of people love us.”
Those things still bring tears to Laura’s eyes, almost four
years later.
She has nothing but praise for the friends and
neighbors and professionals who helped guide all of them
through this process. Laura became aware of the Victims’
Advocacy Service, available in both North and South
Carolina, which does an outstanding job of assisting vic-
tims in a multitude of ways. There is financial and emo-
tional support through the medical issues as well as the
emotional ones.
God continues to use Laura and her testimony
in the lives of all those she touches. She and her family
now have a “Life is Good” party each July 15, but they cel-
ebrate its goodness each day.
The day after returning to Florence in July of
2006, Laura received a call from the hospital in Southport.
They had found the chain to her cross necklace. It was
intact. Not a link was broken. Yet one more of God’s lit-
tle reminders to her that He is still in control.

82-83 1/28/10 9:34 AM Page 2
Photography by Ricki Ford
“So, it went from being friends to falling in love with her in a very short time. And, it was right.”
Needless to say, they slept very little that night. The coordinator said it would probably
be hours before they would know for sure. Johnny and Patsy believe that this was just one
way that God would lead them through the experience. They called their children but decid-
ed not to call anyone else that night until they received actual word that it was a go. That
moment came at 7:00 AM on Sunday morning, thus the second sign showing how God was
leading them. They were now able to contact their church family, who began their prayer
for Patsy and Johnny at worship service.
“The third step in God’s leadership came just before they came in to take Johnny
to the operating room. A young surgery resident came in to take Johnny’s vitals. Before he
left, he asked Johnny if he was a believer and if he could pray with us.” Our family joined
hands with the resident as he offered up a beautiful prayer. God provided people all through
this experience to encourage them and lift the family up.
Johnny went into surgery around 5:00 PM that day, and his family didn’t get to see
him again until 6:00 AM the next morning. Needless to say, it was a long night.
The heart didn’t want to start on the right side, so Johnny came out of surgery
with two heart pumps. Patsy then began seeing prayers answered daily. Each day, it seemed
to her that there were hundreds – if not thousands – of people who would join her to pray
for that specific need.
The next couple weeks, Johnny was in critical condition. During this time, Patsy
and her family were showered by tremendous support from so many. In the five weeks that
Johnny was in the hospital, not one day went by that they didn’t have a visitor.
Carol and Keith kept everyone informed over Facebook, and they were all amazed
to see the hits they received daily. “Johnny was on many prayer lists. I see people now that
I didn’t even know they knew us, and they tell me how they had him on their prayer lists.
Everyone gave us so much support and we are so grateful to each and everyone.”
Gradually, some of the tubes began to be taken away, and Johnny was finally able to
speak. It was a long, sometimes scary journey, but Pasty knows that God was – and remains
– faithful. “He saw me through it and sent many angels to help me. I also knew that Johnny
was a strong person and he’d do everything he could do to get better.”
Johnny and Patsy have been blessed with so much love in their lives, and now they
realize even more fully the blessings of being given a second chance at life itself. They are
overwhelmed with gratitude for the gift and the giver. “We never want to take for granted
the gift that God and the heart donor have given us. We have been given a chance to have
some more time together and, hopefully, we can use this time wisely.”
It is their hope that, through this experience, those who hear their story will con-
sider becoming donors. Patsy says she was one of those people who thought they could
never become an organ donor. But, after seeing firsthand how many lives can be saved
through being a donor, she wants to raise awareness to the need. She now recognizes that
people die every day while being on the transplant list, waiting for a call. She asks herself
the question,“Why was Johnny one of the lucky ones?” And, she admits she does not know
the answer to that. She is just forever thankful that he was.
The mother of Johnny’s donor wrote them a note and said her son’s favorite
quote was, “Love the life you live and live the life you love.” In his memory, this is what
Johnny and Patsy vow to do. In fact, for Johnny and Patsy, this is the purpose of telling their
story. “I hope that everyone who reads this article will sign up to be a donor. The trans-
plant hospital has a saying that makes you really take notice. It says,‘Don’t take your organs
to Heaven. God knows we need them here.’”
“We certainly do. We’re proof of that,” Johnny and Patsy proclaim.
One of the toughest things for Johnny and Patsy has been the idea that someone
else had to lose his life in order for Johnny to live. “Somewhere, a mother and father are
grieving over the loss of their eighteen-year-son while we are celebrating. We pray for them
daily that they will find comfort.”
I recently fought back tears as Johnny held the letter from the donor’s mom in his
hands and told me that if he had his wish, he would rather have been the giver of a heart
than the recipient. He would rather have died instead of the young boy who gave his heart.
Nevertheless, he acknowledges that the decision was not his. It was all in God’s hands, and
Johnny is grateful for the gift.
Johnny went on to tell me that he had prayed for the family of the donor for eight-
een months. Puzzled, I asked, “Johnny, how did you know this family beforehand?”
He explained, “The moment I learned I would have to have a heart transplant to
live, I knew that meant someone had to die for that to happen. I immediately began pray-
ing that for the family of that person, God would be with them if that should happen and
should I live to get the heart.”
As he stood there, still obviously weak from the ordeal of the transplant just
months earlier, my mind drifted back to a warm spring day last year. Johnny, a fabulously-gift-
ed contractor was at my house overseeing my back porch project when we began to talk
about his heart condition. I’ll never forget the words he said to me, and they replayed again
in my mind at that moment,“Either way, I win. If I get the transplant and live, I win. If I don’t
and die, I win. I’m either here with my family, or I go home to be with Jesus. Either way, I
win.”
In that moment, as with all the time I have ever spent around Johnny Rogers, I
walked away feeling a marvelous sense of being uplifted. Johnny has that way about him, as
anyone who knows him will tell you. Remembering the letter in his hand, my heart also
broke for the mother of his donor. Having lost a son the same age as mine, I could not
begin to imagine the pain she had experienced. I wished I could tell her what a wonderful
man this is who is now the keeper of her son’s heart. Not that it would ease the pain of
her loss, but for her to know that her precious son’s heart was now beating in this kind, lov-
ing man might, in some way, make the pain more bearable.
When Johnny first learned that his heart was failing and he would need a trans-
plant, he felt he had been given a death sentence. Then, Patsy stood by his side – as she
always has – and told him everything would be okay. After the initial shock subsided, he
began to pray and felt a peace come over him that remains to this day. He still sings to him-
self over and over the song that inspired the words he spoke to me on that spring day last
year,“I’m a winner either way, if I go or if I stay.” “And,” he continues,“I have lived by those
words every day since, and I will live by them the rest of my life.”
So, that is the story of Johnny meeting Patsy, Johnny giving Patsy his heart, Johnny
receiving a new heart and Johnny loving with all his heart. And, with Patsy – the love of his
life – by his side.
Patsy and Johnny Rogers live in Marion. They have two children, Carol (son-in-law Brent) and
Keith (daughter-in-law, Christy) and three grandchildren, Carlie, Dylan, Kolby. Patsy is the County
Treasurer in Marion, and Johnny is a building contractor. They want you to know that becoming
an organ donor is one of the most unselfish decisions that an individual can make. And, the
process is easier than many think. For more information on how to become an organ donor,
please visit www.organdonor.gov.
84-85 1/26/10 4:10 PM Page 1
She: love
ixÇvx ctâÄ|Çx
jelovchan
“Vence believes that only good thoughts can be had when you’re
&
c Pauline was eighteen and Vence was nineteen when they met on a blind date.
Vence had signed a professional baseball contract with the New York Yankees out of high
school and was waiting to depart for spring training. He would attend Penn State for
half of the year and then go play ball with the Yankees as a Shortstop for the remainder
of the year. Pauline was employed by Alcoa Aluminum and her co-worker was dating
Vence’s roommate from college.
Vence’s roommate asked him if he would like to go on a blind date. Vence
replied, “No way! The last blind date I had played left tackle for Ohio State!”
After a short period, he reconsidered and the date was set – with one prereq-
uisite. If Pauline was not what he expected, he needed to have an “exit strategy.” Well,
needless to say, the minute he saw Pauline, he was hooked. They dated for almost three
years and married when Vence had one year remaining at Penn State.
Unfortunately,Vence’s baseball career was cut short due to a military commit-
ment as an Officer in the Marine Corps. In addition to his engineering career,Vence had
a parallel career and completed twenty-one years as an Officer in the Marines. After
transferring to Florence, Pauline finished her college degree at Francis Marion. She now
owns her own custom framing business, as well as being self-employed as a Tax and
Financial Advisor.
Of course, the physical chemistry drew Pauline and Vence together when they
first met; but, they both had a sense of humor, which was very important. They liked
the same things, agreed on most issues and shared common values. Vence believes they
knew they would marry each other that first night, which was January 8, 1967. They still
celebrate that date as a “Meeting Anniversary.” To this day, they still like the same things,
agree on most issues and share common values. One thing that really helps their rela-
tionship is that they like each other as much as they love each other.
Dancing soon came into the relationship. Pauline has always had a dance back-
ground growing up (tap, ballet, etc.) Vence had none! They took Disco lessons during
the 70s and Shag lessons when they moved to Florence. They saw a beginner’s ballroom
dance class being offered at Poynor in the evenings and decided to give it a try. There
was no doubt Pauline would be pleased. And, for Vence, ballroom dancing provided a
good foundation in true dancing versus just going out on the dance floor and jumping
around. Once they completed the course, they joined the Palmetto Ballroom Dance
Club and have been dancing ever since.
Before long, they were assistants to the original instructors at the club.
Eventually, they took over as the primary instructors. Pauline and Vence have now been
ballroom dancing for close to twelve years and have expanded their capabilities by tak-
Originally from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Pauline and Vence Jelovchan have lived in Florence for thirty years. They will celebrate their fortieth anniversary in September. They have one daughter (Tammi), an
attorney, who lives in Columbia, SC, and two beautiful granddaughters, Emily (8) and Molly (6), who refer to Pauline and Vence as “Nanny and Colonel Pop Pop.” Their son-in-law (Brant) is also an attorney and
teaches law at the University of South Carolina.
ing professional lessons at various locations. In addition, they attended a very focused,
one-week Ballroom Dance Camp in Vermont this past summer.
Pauline and Vence found that as they get older, they must find ways to do things
together. More often than not in today’s hectic lifestyle, it’s very easy for married cou-
ples to become “married singles,” as they call them. Ballroom dancing provides an
excellent opportunity to continue to develop their “coupleness.” Ballroom dancing
gives a man a chance to treat his spouse as a “lady.”
Their favorite dance has changed over the years as they further develop their
level of expertise. Vence says that at present, however, their favorite is the Bolero – a
slow but very, very romantic-style dance.
Nevertheless, ballroom dancing will always be on their favorites list. Ballroom
dancing requires teamwork and, in order to get better, you must practice – together. Any
newcomers to ballroom think there is this “ballroom microwave” (as Vence calls it)
where you can spend a very short time and then become proficient. It doesn’t work
that way. You must practice and continue to challenge yourselves just as you would in
any other endeavor such as sports, computer skills, etc.
One rule Pauline and Vence have in ballroom dancing is to never blame the
partner and to never bicker. Every dancer makes mistakes (even those on Dancing with
the Stars), and it’s part of the evolution to becoming a better dancer. Dancing togeth-
er should never be a source of friction; it should be just the opposite. Ballroom danc-
ing is, of course, good exercise – not just physically but mentally, as well. Vence believes
that only good thoughts can be had when you’re ballroom dancing with the one you
love. There is a lot of gentleness and respect displayed. The best part is that gentleness
and respect carries over to the next day.
Pauline and Vence are the Dance Instructors at the Palmetto Ballroom Dance
Club. The Club meets on the second Friday of each month at the Leatherman Senior
Center (close to Carolinas Hospital System, Freedom Florence Softball Complex). The
lessons are designed to teach those that have no ballroom dance experience (or any
dance knowledge) the basic steps of each dance. The spirit of the lessons is to promote
fun and fitness while enjoying and learning the benefits of ballroom dancing. At the end
of each lesson, the participants will be able to function and maneuver on the dance floor
utilizing the basic steps learned in that particular dance. For those that are more expe-
rienced in ballroom dancing, this is an opportunity to further fine-tune previous skills.
Pauline and Vence take the last twenty minutes of the lesson to teach an advanced step
to the more-experienced dancers. (continued.)
84-85 1/26/10 4:10 PM Page 2

is looking for volunteers to

help push the vision!
Are you good with children?
Do you have leadership skills?
Do you like to plan?
Whatever your skill, talent or gift,
consider joining this winning team!

Collin M. Smith Photography

Be Our Guest! It’s the place for you!
Sundays 11am • Tuesdays 7pm
Join us at...
Residence Inn Marriott
(Conference Room)
2660 Hospitality Blvd.
Florence, SC 29501
(Next to Florence Civic Center & behind
Hibachi Grill & Supreme Buffet)
dancing with the one you love.” www. RisenCCI.org
(843) 610-4445 Pastors Dominic & Nedra Owens
The first hour of the evening (7:30 PM to 8:30 PM) is devoted
to a free ballroom lesson. The dances Pauline and Vence teach include: Waltz,
Cha Cha, Foxtrot,Tango, Rumba, East Coast Swing and Bolero. Lessons are geared to
those that have little or no ballroom dance experience and are given in a relaxed
atmosphere. After the lesson, there is open ballroom dancing from 8:30 PM to 10:45
PM with a DJ playing appropriate ballroom music. (For details about the February 12th
dance, please visit the website: www.palmettodanceclub.org.)
Pauline and Vence also teach a beginner’s ballroom curriculum at the Poynor
Center. The next class begins on February 4th and lasts for six weeks from 6:00 PM
to 7:30 PM. The cost is $60/person, which includes all six weeks of lessons. This is an
excellent opportunity to develop a good foundation in all the dances. Most of their
students then join the Palmetto Ballroom Dance Club afterwards to practice what
they were taught. (Interested parties need to register with Poynor at
2015-J W. EVANS ST.
www.poynor.com.)
Florence
Beyond Poynor and Palmetto Ballroom Dance Club, Pauline and Vence teach
PH: 665.2526
private lessons in their home. They have taught couples their “first dance routine” for FAX: 676.0990
their wedding, and they’ve taught parents how to dance at their children’s weddings.
They’ve also taught class reunion attendees how to dance – and the list goes on.
Currently, Pauline and Vence are involved in teaching couples in Dillon who will dance
the Foxtrot at their Centennial Celebration in late February. They also plan to attend
another intense week at Ballroom Dance Camp this summer.
Pauline and Vence’s two granddaughters have learned the basic steps in the
Waltz from “Colonel Pop Pop” (as they lovingly refer to Vence). They performed those
steps as part of the family’s Christmas Eve celebration. Grandfather and granddaugh-
ters were very proud!

Note: Another venue Pauline and Vence are very active in is the Worldwide Marriage
Encounter (ME) Program that promotes making good marriages even better. They have a
very active ME group in Florence. The main concept of Marriage Encounter is learning the
importance of communication and learning the proper way to set priorities. Interested par-
ties can contact Pauline and Vence for further information on this program, as well.

Palmetto Ballroom Dance Club • www.palmettodanceclub.org

WHERE: Leatherman Senior Center • 600 Senior Way (Freedom Florence)
WHEN: Friday, February 12, 2010
TIME: Lesson (Tango) 7:30 – 8:30 PM. • Open Dance: 8:30 – 10:45 PM.
THEME: Sweetheart Ball
INSTRUCTORS: Vence and Pauline Jelovchan
Contact: 843-667-9322 • pbjelovchan@yahoo.com
ATTIRE: Men: Black Tie Optional • Ladies: Appropriate dress
ADMISSION: Members of PBDC: $5 per person • NON-MEMBERS: $10 per person
MUSIC: Eddie Collins – DJ
FOOD: Bring Your Favorite Heavy Hors D’oeuvre to Share with the Club
86-87 1/28/10 9:14 AM Page 1
She: love
`|v{xÄxpennington
_xÉÇ
A Second Chance for Love • by Sharon Bixler
c Paul Anka sings a song titled “Love Makes the
World Go ‘Round.” Sadly, sometimes love can go tum-
bling down while making the world go around, ending in
divorce. But, occasionally, out of the ashes of a divorce, a
miracle arises – a second chance. This is a story of just
that – a second chance for Michele and Leon Pennington.
Meeting Michele and Leon is like taking a breath of fresh
spring air. Their love is new, vibrant, young, fun, healthy
and high-spirited. It’s a love for the Lord and, obviously, a
great love for each other.
Michele is a Cardiovascular Specialty
Representative for sanofi-aventis U.S., one of the largest
pharmaceutical companies in the world with over 96,000
employees worldwide. She was married for sixteen
years, having two beautiful children, Mark and Rene,
before the demise of her marriage in 2000. Mark is
presently a Specialist serving as an Enlisted Member with
the United States Army stationed at Fort Carson,
Colorado Springs, Colorado. Rene is in her freshman
year at the College of Charleston.
Leon is self-employed in the real estate business
with Pennington and Meadows, Real Estate Solutions. He
was married for thirty-two years, having two wonderful
boys,Tripp and Peter. Tripp graduated from the University of
South Carolina and works with Leon. Peter lives in Virginia.
Divorce is a horrible experience that not only
affects you and your spouse but also your children,
extended family and close friends. Everybody you’re close
to is affected in some way. However, divorce is sometimes
necessary and without it, Michele and Leon wouldn’t or
couldn’t have had a second chance in life to be in the loving
and nurturing partnership they share today.
They first met in 1997, serving on the Board of
Directors for the Southeastern Baseball Classic. At that
time, Leon was inundated with high school baseball with
Sharon Bixler is blessed to be the wife of Hal, mother of Holly (Stanley) and grandmother of Ian. She is a Member of Emmanuel Baptist Church in Hartsville.
&
both his boys playing. Michele was lured into the arena
due to her marketing experience, creativity and willing-
ness to serve. They were both married at the time, and
they were miserable. But, nobody knew it.
Later, Michele had been divorced for several
years when Leon rode by her house on June 28, 2003. He
was legally separated and had just gotten his head on
straight when he rode by her house and saw her playing
in the yard with her dog. Several weeks earlier, he had
told himself that he was going to stop and talk with her
but only when he saw her out and about. A phone call
“Michele and Leon fell deeply
in love with each another.
jÉÇwxÜyâÄ4 ”
It was wonderful!
just wouldn’t be appropriate.
Light conversation revealed that Michele wasn’t
seeing anyone. She was so friendly, so beautiful and so
refreshing. Leon asked if she would go out with him
sometime. She said yes. He asked when. She said it
doesn’t matter. Then, he asked,“Tonight?” She said okay.
Their first date was dinner and right back home.
However, their second date brought lingering conversa-
tion over dinner. After dinner and, then, dancing at the
Circle Fountain in Florence, Leon knew he wanted more
and hoped she would, too. He thought they had so much
in common. They were both hard-working, determined
individuals who wouldn’t take no for an answer. He had
a short list of what he was looking for in a mate. Come
to find out many months later, so did Michele.
Michele fit Leon’s perfect mate criteria perfectly,
excluding having small children. Rene was twelve at the
time, and that gave him some concern. His children were
grown and gone, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to go
there again. As it turned out, Rene became the daughter
he never had, and Leon quickly came to love her as if she
was his own child.
Michele and Leon dated over several months –
University of South Carolina football games, long week-
ends on the lake at Wateree and short trips to the beach,
Charleston and to see her sister in Virginia. It was all he
could have ever dreamed of and more. However, there
was one problem. Leon wanted to take their relationship
to the next level, and Michele wasn’t receptive to the
idea. Over the years, she had built these incredible walls
around her for protection and survival. She said she
would continue to go out, but raising her children was
“top priority” as a single parent. Leon wanted to play and
had all the time in the world. Her world and responsibil-
ities were very different. He had been confiding in a close
friend about this, and his advice to Leon was to take a
small pickaxe and take the walls down, brick by brick,
layer by layer. He was absolutely right, and that is exact-
ly what Leon did.
After being together well over six months, they
were at a crossroads. Leon says that Michele even “had
the audacity to tell me several times along the way to go
away and play, give her some time to her duty, and come
back.” He thought,“What a joke! I’ll leave if you tell me
you don’t want to see me, but I will not leave on my own
accord.”
Then, the greatest thing happened. While her
children were away for the holidays visiting their dad dur-
ing Christmas break, Michele and Leon fell deeply in love
with each another. It was wonderful! (continued)
86-87 1/28/10 9:15 AM Page 2

“Put this above

everything,
excluding your
relationship
with your
Maker.”
Angela Hanna Photography

They spent the entire twelve days together, loving, living, talking
and even working some during the day. They cooked together, went out to
eat and fell asleep on blankets in front of the fire. They now refer to this as the “12
Days of Christmas.” Michele informed her children, even before they arrived at the
airport, that she wanted Leon to be more a part of her life and theirs.
They had been together for over two and a half years and were totally com- Efficient, reliable, clean – natural gas is the smart
mitted to one another. Michele and Leon were soul mates and so much in love. He
energy choice for your home. It’s not just about
says,“It was so easy to love her. We had a level of understanding for one another like
we had never experienced and even spoke the same love language.” comfort anymore. Natural gas appliances are more
They had pretty much decided to wait until both Michele’s children were out energy efficient, more cost-effective to operate, last
of high school to get married. Rene was still at home. However, Leon had second
thoughts. They were spending every day together before and after work, only part-
longer and require less maintenance. And, natural gas
ing to sleep in their own beds. He was lonely and wanted to be with Michele and is one of the most environmentally-friendly energy
Rene at night. So, on December 22, 2005 at daybreak, wearing the same shorts and sources available.
T-shirt and sandals he wore the day he asked her out on June 28, 2003 and standing
in the same place in her yard, Leon called her on the cell phone and woke her up.
She came to him, thinking something was wrong. Leon got down on his knees and Be sure to ask your builder for natural gas in your
asked her to marry him.
next home. If you’re already an SCE&G natural gas
After she accepted, he informed her that they were to wed the very next
day, on his birthday, and they had a lot to do. He had pre-arranged the wedding cer- customer and want to add additional natural gas
emony, performed by Dr. Jeri Perkins at the First Presbyterian Church where they had appliances, you may qualify for a rebate and the
been visiting regularly. They had a small wedding with most of their immediately fam-
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ily present. Luckily, the church was already decorated for a wedding later that
evening, and the recipients of that wedding were gracious to allow Michele and Leon or visit SCE&G’s virtual home at sceg.com/value.
to slip in beforehand.
Rene, Michele and Leon lived in her home for several months, and then they
moved to Leon’s residence where they have made their home for the last several
years. The rest is history. Their new house is presently under contract. When it clos-
es, Michele and Leon will be able to do what they have planned and wanted to do all
along – establish something together that the two of them have created.
To anyone reading this story, if you are in a relationship, nurture it like you
would nurture a small child. Put this above everything, excluding your relationship
with your Maker. It needs constant attention and takes the time to provide it. If you
are out there and want what Michele and Leon have found, follow your heart. Hold
tight to your beliefs and, soon, things will happen.

www.comfortableresponsible.org www.sceg.com/value
88-89 1/27/10 1:42 PM Page 1
She: love
f{tÇÇÉÇ
_xx bur r is& Where There Is Love,There Is Hope • by Erika Chapman
f Shannon Burris has a bright smile and a warm and bubbly personality. She
has a knack at making new people feel welcome and reaching out to those she knows
with a hug. A busy wife and mother of two, Shannon lives in Florence with her hus-
band, Lee, and her children, Graysen and Holden. Also a full-time teacher, she loves
teaching. She also loves her church family at NewSpring. Most people would never
guess that for the past nine years, Shannon has been battling an illness that, at times,
seemed to suck the life right out of her.
Shannon has walked a road familiar to many people. According to the
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), depressive disor-
ders affect approximately 18.8 million American adults. About
one in every eight women can expect to develop clinical depres-
sion during their lifetime, according to Mental Health America.
Shannon first began to feel abnormally overwhelmed and anx-
“I am _|ä|Çz
ious during 2001, the year after her daughter was born; she was proof that
experiencing postpartum depression. This is how her battle
began; however, it did not simply pass. It continued on and off you can beat
again for years. Her depression was not like an illness that
lingers on and on; instead, it would come on during times of
stress and anxiety.
depression!”
During these seasons of depression, Shannon describes
feeling sad, anxious, helpless, very fatigued with no energy, lacking an appetite and even
feeling like it was work to eat or chew. At times, she would feel like her heart would
beat out of her chest and experience anxiety attacks. She wanted to sleep her life
away and remembers wishing that morning wouldn’t come, and she couldn’t wait until
it was dark enough to go to bed. She felt like no one could understand what she was
feeling because it isn’t like a cold that has outward, physical symptoms.
Initially, Shannon’s family had a hard time understanding that she was facing
depression. They thought she was simply moody, sad because of stress or dealing with
PMS. When she began to truly open up to them, expressing her true emotions and
the level of helplessness she was feeling, then they believed that she was depressed and
needed some help. During the times when her depression was the most intense, she
would isolate herself from friends and family, yet she desperately didn’t want to be
Photos by
Heather Frick
alone. Nevertheless, she found support in her mother, sister, best friend, grandmoth-
er and husband. Her grandmother, who also struggled with depression, has shared
personal insights that helped Shannon. She was so thankful for friends and family that
would “just be there for her.” At times, that could be just sitting in the same room
with her, listening to her explain how she felt, showing up at her house uninvited to
check on her or even making her get out of the house and take a walk.
Shannon first sought help from her family doctor who prescribed medication
to treat the symptoms of depression. Her journey with antidepressants has been full
of trial and error and ups and downs. She emphasizes that it is
very important to find a doctor that will listen to you and consid-
er your background history to find the medicine that will work for
you. It has been a long process finding a medication and dosage
that fits her needs. She shares that, at one time, she was on a
medicine that reacted against her body and caused her to slip into
an even greater depression. This is why it is essential to have fam-
ily support and open communication between you, your doctor
and your support system. Oftentimes, prescriptions may need to
be altered or changed until you find what will help you achieve a
balance. Shannon also emphasizes that when someone is experi-
encing depression, you desperately want relief, but some medica-
tions may take two to four weeks before they begin working. She encourages peo-
ple to not simply give up because a medicine doesn’t seem to work quickly. Finding
success through medication takes perseverance and patience but can definitely be
worth it.
Shannon attributes one of the strongest elements to her depression lifting as
exercise. She began walking outside no matter what the temperature or weather.
Being outside helped her to take her focus off of how she was feeling and onto the
beauty around her. She would walk daily with her sister while her mother watched
their children. It cannot be emphasized enough to realize that such an important
aspect in dealing with depression is support, and Shannon was blessed with tremen-
dous family support. She encourages anyone experiencing depression to seek out a
strong support system through family, friends, work or wherever you can. (continued.)
88-89 1/27/10 1:42 PM Page 2

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Three years ago, she began counseling. Her hus-

band, Lee, went with her to counseling so he could listen
and interact in the sessions. This was a way for him to understand
depression on a professional and medical level and learn how to help and cope
with it, as well. Shannon has found that counseling has helped tremendously,
both personally and in their marriage. She is so thankful for the many ways Lee
has simply “stepped up” during her depression to take over household duties and
do anything possible to help her feel better. Depression doesn’t just affect the
individual but the family, as well. It has been helpful for the Burris’ to have the
outlet of professional counseling to help them face this challenge as a team. Open Enrollment begins
During the winter of 2008, Shannon experienced one of her worst sea-
March 2nd, 2010
sons of depression. The Christmas of 2008 was a very difficult time. Over the
By appointment only
past year, however, she has found strength and healing through counseling, taking
her medication consistently, daily exercise and encouragement from her support Quality Education
system. However, this year has also been a time of spiritual growth for her. She At Affordable
began attending a new church where she recommitted herself to the Lord and Rates
was baptized in September. She has started serving at church and has found that
her growth in her faith has helped her overcome depression, as well. She feels
she is not battling it on her own.
Shannon is feeling strong and healthy and is so thankful for this season.
She realizes she may one day experience depression again. While that is a sober-
ing thought, she knows that she will face it this time armed with all she needs to
walk through it to the other side. She says, “I am living proof that you can beat
depression!”
She has experienced hope and encourages anyone that is in the midst of
a battle with depression, “Don’t give up!” She knows firsthand that this season
will pass and a better day will come. There is always hope!
•Members of SCACS & AACS•Infants-12th grade•After School Care
•Summer Camp Ages 2-12 years•Preschool Programs•A Beka Curriculum
•Hot Lunches•Youth and Varsity Athletics•Computer Lab, Music, Art
Classes•Certified Teachers•Christian Environment

A Ministry of First Free Will Baptist Church

Erika Chapman lives in Florence with her amazing husband and three busy little 2624 West Palmetto St. • Florence • 843-665-6395
boys. She gets excited about discovering a great read, NewSpring Church and
sharing her most recent adventures at www.erikaivory.wordpress.com. Maranatha Christian School admits students of any race, color, national or ethnic origin to all
the rights and privileges, programs and activities made available to the students in the school.
90-91 1/27/10 9:30 AM Page 1
She: love
^xÄÄç WxÜx~
jokisch
“Music enhances our relationship because it’s a significant part
W Derek and I met at the University of Florida in
August of 1995. We were both in our first year of grad-
uate school. I served as a Graduate Assistant for the
Gator Marching Band, Basketball Pep Band and University
of Florida Trumpet Studio. Derek was on a fellowship in
the Department of Nuclear Engineering.
“So,” you may be asking, “how does a Nuclear
Engineer meet a Musician?” Well, Derek had been in the
marching band at the University of Illinois. Our first year
at Florida happened to coincide with Florida hiring a new
Marching Band Director – from the University of Illinois.
The Director knew Derek and asked him to volunteer
and help out with the Gator Band. As a result, we met
that fall on a marching band practice field at the height of
the Steve Spurrier era at Florida. (Derek has a photo in
his office of the 1996 National Title Game, and we can
pick ourselves out on the sidelines with the band.)
First, Derek and I became friends. It didn’t take
long to know he was “the one” because of how thought-
ful, sweet, caring and trusting he is. We got married June
19, 1999. We certainly feel fortunate to have found one
another. I don’t know if our marriage is any more special
than most successful marriages; but, working in physics,
Derek likes to joke about how “opposites attract.” We
are opposites in many ways, but we also have a lot in
common. Besides playing music together, we both like to
play golf.
For me, music is an outlet. It can take me places
– both physically and imaginatively – like no other activi-
ty I have ever been involved in. Music has opened so
many doors for me that I wouldn’t have been able to get
open any other way. I play the trumpet. While I was
trained classically, I also enjoy playing a variety of other
styles. Derek considers himself an amateur trombonist,
but I think he sells himself short sometimes. He has
impressed me by also learning how to transcribe and
Kelly grew up in Ormond Beach, Florida, and Derek grew up in Carlinville, Illinois. They moved to Florence in July of 1999 after Derek was hired as a faculty member in the Physics Department at Francis Marion
University. Kelly has a Bachelor of Music Education from Stetson University, a performance certificate from Göteborg University School of Music in Sweden and a Master of Music in Trumpet Performance from
the University of Florida. In addition to teaching music, she loves to play her trumpet. In Florence, she performs regularly with The Woodys, the FMU Wind Symphony and the Florence Symphony Orchestra.
Love Notes
&
arrange music, as well as design marching band field
shows.
Music enhances our relationship because it’s a
significant part of what we do together. Whether it’s
going to a rehearsal or performance together, we spend
a lot of time – together – through music. At the end of
a day, it’s nice that our evening activity (music) involves
doing something jointly. If Derek didn’t play music, too, I
would be spending both the workday and the
evening/weekend away from him when I go to perform.
The Woodys existed prior to us joining them in
January of 2000. One of Derek’s fellow Physicists, Joe
Mehaffey, approached him about The Woodys. Joe
explained that he was in a band that played classic rock
and roll, but they were interested in adding a horn sec-
tion. They gave us a CD of a couple tunes they wanted
to try. It had the Beatle’s “Got to Get You into My Life”
and a Joe Cocker version of “The Letter.” We showed up
at a rehearsal and, from the very first run-through, every-
one was excited about what they were hearing. It took
us a couple months to put enough songs together, but we
were playing at local establishments by that summer.
We’ve now been with the Woodys for ten years.
So long, in fact, that a lot of Woodys groupies forget that
they ever existed without us. (We try to point that out to
the rest of the guys anytime we can.) The guys we play with
are so talented and have diverse stories as unique as ours.
You know it’s a special group to have lasted this long.
The Woodys play cover tunes from classic rock,
Motown, soul, blues, etc. Groups we cover include The
Beatles, Chicago, CCR, Stevie Wonder,Van Morrison and
Sam & Dave, just to mention a few. What makes the
Woodys unique is that everyone is in it for the fun. It’s
never work when we rehearse or perform. (Well, there
may have been an ill-conceived private wedding or two
that felt like work. “Sorry, we don’t play beach music. We
told you that before you booked us. Here, I bet you can
shag to this next one.” And, then we play something like
“Honky Tonk Women.”)
Being part of a band has definitely brought
Derek and me together, but I think spending time with
your partner doing any activity brings you closer. We just
happened to play in a rock and roll band together. We
both feel lucky to get to be in a band like The Woodys. I
mean, how many brass players get to play in live rock
bands, playing some of the very songs that they grew up
listening to on the radio and dreamed about playing?
I enjoy spending my free time participating in
activities with my husband. Over the years, many people
have asked us, individually, if we get tired of spending so
much time together. They make statements like,“Doesn’t
it stink to have to play in a band with your husband?” Or,
they may ask Derek,“Don’t you wish your wife didn’t play
golf so that you could use it to escape?”
I love that Derek is my best friend and that we
have so much in common that we can spend our time
together enjoying life, traveling from one adventure to
the next. Doing things together like this has led to a lot
of trust and selflessness when it comes to other things.
I’ve never been a wife who has understood why some
men would need permission from their spouse in order
to be “allowed” to do something with the guys.
Now, we’re moving to the next adventure of
our lives together – expecting our first child in mid-
February. This is the next step in our relationship. Since
we’ve been married over ten years now, our friends and
families gave up on the idea of us as parents. It’s been an
exciting journey these last eight and a half months,
preparing, planning and sharing our joy with the ones we
love. Maybe she’ll play the French horn when she grows
up so we can play brass trios as a family. (continued.)
90-91 1/27/10 9:30 AM Page 2

Collin M. Smith Photography

of what we do together.”
With all the studies about how music enhances brain development and
prepares a child for a lifetime of aesthetic pleasure, enhances abstract reasoning
skills, spatial reasoning and self-concept and is used to build on skills such as com-
munication, creativity and cooperation, I’ve been playing a lot of music for the baby.
Studies show that by five months, the fetus can hear voices and music. She can
move in rhythm to music and reacts by kicking to loud noises. I noticed her first
movements while teaching “Intro to Music” at FMU this fall. The first pieces she
moved to were Mussorgsky’s “The Great Gate of Kiev” from Pictures at an
Exhibition and Smetana’s The Moldau. She seems to like program music, loud brass
in symphonic works, baroque trumpet, and organ pieces. She also reacts to “Here
Comes the Sun,” “You Are My Sunshine,” “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head” and
“No Rain” by Blind Melon. These are the pieces that have found their way to
“Baby’s Music” playlist on my iPod. If she continues to like this playlist, I guess we’ll
see her in a bumble bee tutu for her first Halloween costume.
fâÇáxàá tà à{x Uxtv{
It has also been fun to feel her movements as I perform. One especially Watching the waves kiss
wiggly moment was while I was performing Handel’s “Messiah” with the Florence
Symphony Orchestra this past December. She was dancing up a storm! As I sat the Shore at Sunrise...
with a smile on my face, I realized that it was during a solemn bass recitative. I
guess it just shows how listening to music does stimulate the mind, mood – and Just a weekend for two,
Baby Jokisch’s movement.
Together, Derek and I are ready for this new journey in our lives. And, we
A Valentine Gift to Share...
are so very excited!

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92 1/27/10 1:43 PM Page 1
She: love
Tá{Äxç wiggins
`tÜç
“The house was constantly full of love...”
T Ashley Wiggins, born August 1925 in Lyons,
Georgia, and Mary Lillian Edenfield, born July 1926 in
Savannah, Georgia, met in Lyons, Georgia in August
1946. Renee Wiggins, Ashley’s cousin, and Mary were
roommates at St. Joseph’s Nursing School in Savannah.
They had a week before classes were to resume, so
Renee asked Mary to come and spend that week in
Lyons, Georgia, with her family.
Ashley had finished up three years in the
Merchant Marines and had just returned home to the
family farm on August 14, just one day before Mary was
to go back to nursing school. The Wiggins Family had
gathered to celebrate Ashley’s birthday.
My father,Ashley, said that the minute he saw my
mother, Mary, his heart belonged to her. He said that it
didn’t matter what he had to do or how long he had to
wait, he was going to marry her.
Renee and Mary returned to school in
Savannah and less than a week had passed before Ashley
couldn’t stand it anymore and hopped on a bus to go see
Mary. But, not before buying her a wedding ring.
Desperate to find her, he searched all over Savannah.
After calling his cousin and leaving word at the school, he
decided he might never find her and that he should
return home and try again later. So, he went back to the
bus station to go home. As he walked toward the ticket
counter, he spotted Mary there, waiting for him.
The next day, they rode to Tybee Island to go to
the beach. They spent all day there. They went to the
seaside pavilion and rode the rides. They swam in the
ocean and walked along the shore, talking and laughing.
As they were about to leave, and just as the sun was
starting to set, Ashley dropped to one knee and put the
ring on Mary’s finger. And, with his deep blue eyes star-
ing into hers, he asked, “Forever?”
Mary’s eyes filled with tears and, in her heart,
she was ready to marry him. But, she was pursing a nurs-
ing career at a very strict Catholic Nursing School. The
Katherine Stone and her husband, Ronnie, live in Florence. They have three grown children, Erin, Laura and Lee. They also have several grandchildren.
&
students were not allowed to be married. If she married
Ashley, she would not be allowed to finish the rigorous
three-year program where she had already completed a
rough year of study.
Keeping true to the vow, he promised to wait
for her if she would promise to marry him after she grad-
uated from school. Mary promised she would, and Ashley
returned home to Lyons.
It only took a little while without seeing her for
him to realize how hard it was going to be not to be able
to see her. So, Ashley joined the army and went to
Korea for two years to give Mary the time and the space
to complete her schooling. He wrote to her everyday.
At first, he didn’t receive any letters in return. Then, just
Desperate to find
her, he searched
all over Savannah.
as he began to worry, letters started arriving two and
three at a time. For two years, they wrote back and
forth.
Ashley saved and sent home almost every bit of
money he made. Mary graduated Nursing School, and
they were married on April 5, 1948 – just one month
after Ashley returned home from Korea.
In April of this year, they will have been married
62 years. They have three children: Mary Kathryn,
Stephen Ashley and Thomas Wayne; seven grandchildren,
and seven great grandchildren.
Life after they got married was good. The house
was constantly full of love, and I will always remember
how I felt safe and protected and loved growing up. My
father always said that as much as he and my mother
loved each other, they also trusted and respected each
other. I believe their successful marriage is set in in
by Katherine Stone
these practiced beliefs. This love they share is so appar-
ent to those around them, and I believe it has carried
over into my own family. I also believe that the very
sense of family and loyalty that is so prevalent in my fam-
ily has roots that go back to my parents and the home
they made for me as a child.
In 1986, Mother was diagnosed with a brain
tumor. During the surgery, they discovered a small
amount of malignant cells and they were unable to
remove the entire tumor. In 1993, she broke her ankle
and so ensued a three-month hospital stay in which more
problems occurred – seizures, strokes and a tracheoto-
my. Now, she isn’t able to care for herself. Dad retired
from Stone Container (Smurfit Stone) early to stay
home and care for her.
Mother still has her good mind, but she also has
times when she sees things that aren’t there or she for-
gets. Sometimes, she can become very agitated, and she
oftentimes tries to fight out of fear. My father just hugs
her and tells her that he loves her and how she is his
“sweetheart” until she settles down.
He tends to her every need. He cleans the
house, does the laundry, gives her showers, dresses her and
cooks her food. He even feeds her. When she has trouble
eating, he stays at it even though his food will get cold and,
sometimes, depending on what it is, becomes uneatable.
Neighbors and friends have suggested that a
nursing home would probably be a better place for my
mother. My dad just smiles and says, “God gives me the
strength to care for my love.”
Every night – without fail – at bedtime, Dad puts
on Mother’s favorite music and holds her hand until she
goes to sleep. I have often said that their story reminds
me of the movie, The Notebook. But, as great as that
movie is, my parents’ story always makes me cry. But, I
cry the kind of warm, happy, tears that only a life well
lived and a deep timeless love can produce.

93 1/27/10 3:05 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 93

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76 1/26/10 12:45 PM Page 1
She: love
UxäxÜÄç
ftÇw|yxÜ
The Preacher’s Wife
Photos by Heather Frick
“My position as Pastor’s Wife - is not about me; it’s all about Him!”
\ I met my husband, Ken, in Columbia, SC, in
September 1968. I thought he was so handsome with
gorgeous big brown eyes and a beautiful smile. We start-
ed dating immediately after we met the first time. Even
then, I just knew that he was “the one” that God had
chosen for me. The Holy Spirit made me aware of this.
We talked almost daily – if not more than one
time daily – and just couldn’t wait to be together. In early
December 1968, we got engaged. At the time, I was
working at Providence Hospital in Columbia, SC, as a
Surgical Technician. I was boarding in the home of Mrs.
L. Bryson, a lovely lady in Columbia. (It was quite com-
mon to rent rooms in homes in those days.) Ken came
over to the home that night to see me and proposed right
there in Mrs. Bryson’s den and gave me a diamond. We
were married April 5, 1969, at First Baptist Church in
Hemingway, SC, where we had a beautiful traditional
Christian ceremony. Our children honored us with a big
reception at the church for our 40th anniversary last year.
I didn’t marry a preacher. Ken surrendered to
the call after we had been married six years. Employed
at Eastman Kodak in Columbia at the time as an
Electronic Technician, we were living in Gaston, SC, and
were active in the Gaston Baptist Church when he
answered the call. I was shocked and overwhelmed to
say the least. I lost about twenty-five pounds in six
weeks. When I got over the initial shock, I remembered
hearing God’s voice during a youth revival telling me that
I would marry a preacher, and I said to myself,“Surely He
can’t be talking to me!” Well, He was. So, although I did-
n’t marry a preacher, I am married to a preacher now.
Because I was so surprised at his decision, Ken
came to me and said he would not pursue the call to the
ministry without my support in his decision. I told him
that I didn’t know if I could ever live up to the standards
and expectations of being the “Preacher’s Wife.” He
Beverly Sandifer is married to Kenneth Berton Sandifer, Senior Pastor at First Baptist Church in Darlington, SC. They have three children. Bert and his wife, Christy, reside in Darlington with their two sons, Zachary (9) and Joshua (6).
April and her husband, Rob Groff, reside in Elizabethtown, Kentucky, with their daughters, Jadyn (6) and Kyrah (5). They also have two bonus grandchildren, Jarhett and Leighana, both of whom are in college.
Olivia, their youngest daughter, resides in Little Rock, Arkansas. Beverly is a Registered Nurse employed at McLeod Medical Center in Dillon, SC, as Supervisor in the Cardiac Rehabilitation Department.
reassured me and told me to be myself and the person
God called me to be. After that, I committed to the Lord
and to my husband to serve right along beside him, and I
have tried my best to do so over the years. I told Ken
that I would always be there for him and that I certainly
did not want to stand before the Lord and know that He
had called my husband to ministry and he didn’t pursue that
blessed calling because I was not willing to support him.
After it all sank in, I was excited; but, at the same
time, I had concerns as Ken quit his job at Eastman Kodak
and moved to Charleston to attend Baptist College. He
completed his degree in a little over two years, coming
home only on the weekends. I remained in Gaston with
the children until our home sold, and I continued to
work part-time.
The house sold in about six months, and we
were able to move on campus at Charleston and be
together as a family again. When we moved to
Charleston, I started going to Nursing School at Baptist
College at Charleston. One year, Ken and I were in col-
lege at the same time with two small children. God
never missed a provision. Praise the Lord! He was – and
is – so good to us and provided for us. The only expla-
nation is that He divinely intervened in our lives.
Ken graduated in 1977, and I graduated in 1978.
He worked part-time and did interim pastorates while I
finished my degree in nursing. We moved to New
Orleans in 1978, and he attended and graduated from
New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary in 1980.
Since then, the churches in which Ken has
served full-time include: Antioch Baptist Church, Enoree,
SC, 1981-1982; Zion Hill Baptist Church, Spartanburg,
SC, 1982-1988; First Baptist Church, Mullins, SC, 1988-
2001 and First Baptist Church, Darlington, SC, 2001 until
present. All those years have been quite a journey, but
the Lord carried us through.
Personally, I have had so many opportunities to
reach out to others as they also reached out to me. I feel
that I am sensitive to people’s needs and consider it a
privilege to mentor others and encourage them to look
to God in their lives and to give Him the praise, honor
and glory. Sometimes, however, people expect more of
you since you are a Pastor’s Wife. I have always served
in various positions as a Christian – foremost in the areas
that I feel God has called me. And, the Lord not only
called me to be a Pastor’s Wife, He also called me to be
nurse, wife and mother. I do not attempt to be placed in
a mold as a “Preacher’s Wife.” I seek God regarding mak-
ing the right choices in my life and strive not to do any-
thing that would not bring Him the glory. My position as
Pastor’s Wife – or Christian for that matter – is not
about me; it’s all about Him!
The most difficult aspect of being a Pastor’s
Wife is accepting and understanding that personal family
plans may have to be changed at anytime. In the early
years of Ken’s ministry, there were times I felt my hus-
band missed out on many activities with the children
when they were growing up because it was not possible
to be with them as much as he desired to be. It’s impor-
tant for a Pastor’s parishioners to remember that he has a
family and his family has demands on his time, as well. They
also need to remember that a Preacher has needs, too.
Nevertheless, I have enjoyed my journey in this
role, and I absolutely have no regrets. Ken and I have had
wonderful opportunities and have built some wonderful
relationships with people over the years. Being a Pastor
and Pastor’s Wife – as a team – we are able to be
involved with families and journey with them through
some very joyous days. But, we are also able to be with
them when they are going through tough storms in their
lives and reassure them that God loves them and that He
is there for them. And, so are we.

95 1/27/10 1:52 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 95

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She: love
gtÄ|à{t WxÜx~
seeber
“I had met someone – and, it was off the internet.”
f Six years ago this month, I met my husband for
the first time. We had a bit of a whirlwind courtship.
We met in February and married that September. I
wouldn’t say it was love at first sight, but we definitely
knew quickly that we had found that one perfect person
that God had made for us. Did I mention we met
through eHarmony.com?
There is definitely still a stigma to online dat-
ing. If ten years ago, someone would have told me that
I would marry someone I met online, I would have
laughed! Never! But, then I found myself at twenty-five-
years old, working two jobs, owning my first home and
dating some but just not interested in the guys I was
meeting. Meeting men through work was tricky; I didn’t
want to burn any bridges. Meeting men while out with
friends produced guys with no ambition and no dreams.
So, on a Saturday night in January, I found
myself curled up watching TV with my cat – and happy
to be doing just that! The first eHarmony commercial
made me laugh, thinking that stuff never works. Then,
the second commercial came on, and I figured someone
upstairs was having a laugh at my expense. When the
third commercial came on in less than an hour, I told
God, “Alright, you don’t have to hit me over the head!”
But, apparently He thought He might have to.
So, I did it. I spent three hours answering over 500
questions. I liked what the website offered. It was a
Christian-based relationship site, not just a dating site. I
controlled what anyone would see about me and if they
would see my picture. It seemed to me that I would
never have to tell anyone about it. Right?
Derek and I got matched within the first week
of me signing up – January 29th to be exact. He seemed
nice, and our first three sets of communications flew
Talitha Seeber and her husband, Derek, live in Florence. They have an energetic two-year-old, Isadora; two cats and a dog. Talitha owns Wink Pottery, which she now runs out of her home.
&
back and forth with a day or two. We started e-mailing
each other. We just never ran out of things to say.
Almost two weeks later, he asked for my phone number.
At first, I was leery; but, he was always so nice and it
seemed like we had a lot in common. And, a phone
number can change pretty easily. So, we started calling
each other – every evening after work. We would talk
and talk and talk. People who know me probably aren’t
surprised by that, but people who know him would be
shocked by how much he would talk, too.
He asked me to meet him for dinner a few
times, but I just wasn’t ready. I didn’t want him to not
like me, especially because I really looked forward to
talking to him. We would talk about work, about our
homes, about where we had traveled and where we
wanted to go. Sometimes, we talked about our families,
and we found out we had both lost our dads when we
were teens. It was little things and big things that
brought us closer and closer, just like any other relation-
ship.
After a month, I knew if I didn’t meet Derek
soon, he wasn’t going to wait forever. Now, after know-
ing him for six years, I’m surprised he waited that long!
He is not known for being terribly patient, especially
when his mind is made up. So, we agreed to meet
halfway between our homes for dinner. What we had-
n’t planned on was that there was only one restaurant
open halfway between Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and
Rockford, Illinois. Derek is always appalled when I tell
people our first date was at a Perkins Restaurant.
Nevertheless, it was a great night! We ate and
talked until they kicked us out. (Who knew they closed
at ten?) So, then we stood in the parking lot and talked
for another hour. About ten minutes after we left, he
Photography by
Ricki Ford
called to ask me to come up and go out for a “nice din-
ner” the next night. I did. How could I resist? I’m pret-
ty sure we’ve been together ever since.
It took me about two or three weeks to admit
to my mom, my friends and my co-workers that I had
met someone – and, that it was off the internet. Some
were shocked. Some were proud. My mom was ecstat-
ic! She heard he had a PhD and owned his own house
and she didn’t care how I met him!
After four months of dating, we decided to get
married. Then, it seemed like everything happened at
once. We had a vacation in Iceland planned – a Fire and
Ice Tour where we would hike all over Iceland and kayak
a fjord. GE offered Derek a job in Florence. And, we
were trying to set a wedding date and plan a wedding
and reception.
We went to Iceland and loved it. We planned
a wedding in three days for two weeks before Derek
had to start his new job. And, we were off! One week-
end, we got married on Mackinac Island, Michigan. The
next weekend, we had our reception in Milwaukee,
Wisconsin. That Monday, the movers showed up. We
reached Florence by Thursday, bought a house on Friday
and Derek started work on Monday. I’m not sure how
we got through it all; but, somehow, it seemed to just
happen. We had each other, and it was going to be okay.
For me, I sometimes wonder what would have
happened if I had ignored those commercials. I would-
n’t be happy and in love now. I wouldn’t have the world’s
most beautiful two-year-old little girl. I would never have
heard of Florence, South Carolina. And, I know that
although we didn’t meet by traditional means, God had
His hand in it. I couldn’t ask for a better husband.

100 1/26/10 3:15 PM Page 1

T
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OBJECT OF DESIRE?
Let him known what you really
U want this Valentine’s Day!

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]xãxÄ TvvxÇàxw XtÜÜ|Çzá
Porter’s Gift Shop
Florence

UA WÉâuÄx fàÜtÇw? c|Ç~

[âxw cxtÜÄ axv~Ätvx
First Impressions
Florence

VA U|ÜwËá axáà fàxÜÄ|Çz

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HandPicked
Florence
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Florence
97 1/22/10 1:58 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 97

BALLET
POINTE
JAZZ
TAP
HIP HOP
CHEER

Niki Chavis, Owner/Director

1001 South Cashua Dr. • Florence, SC
843.665.0606
www.florenceschoolofdancearts.com
98-99 1/28/10 10:10 AM Page 1
j When the theme for this month was
announced, I was ecstatic (as enthusiastic as a
northern transplant can get without swooning)
because our family theme is: Live well. Laugh
often. Love much. It is stamped on things all over
the house and permanently etched in our hearts.
We have gathered together in storms so often in
recent years under the umbrella of these protective
words. It was the theme from which we drew strength
when the father of my children lost his cancer fight. It was
the theme with which he was able to last as long as he
did while losing everything he held precious in this life.
It is also with this theme that I was able to say
goodbye to my son as his unit left to join the troop surge
in Afghanistan. God grants us the ability to spiritually
breathe through difficult times with these live, laugh, and
love words. He commands us to love.The living well and
laughing often parts are simply gifts that spring from the
loving?
Not long ago, I thought that God had placed me
in Marion, South Carolina in order to wake up and return
to the shelter of His love. He took away one part of my
living and laughing very soon after arrival, but he never
removed the love. He allowed it to grow slowly until I was
able to ask His forgiveness and receive the gift of life again.
And now I have come to more fully understand
His plan to prosper me, not to harm me. For a long while
I waited for a new life to begin – for that “new man” to
show up on my doorstep so that I could again perhaps
know the joy of loving another as I had loved the one
who left. God did not grant me that prayer. He gave me
much more. And that is what I hope to share with you
this month.
In the process of learning to live, laugh and love
again, God has orchestrated the crossing of paths with
another of His children – though neither of us knew it or
expected it or even wanted it again.We had spent nearly
a year sitting beside each other in a Sunday self-confronta-
tion class at Mullins First Baptist Church, so we knew each
other – but mutually overlooked the dating potential.
_|äx well.
_tâz{ often.
_Éäx much.
In fact, the only things we shared in common
were the proximity of our chairs and our desire to know
more about Christ through biblical study. He talked a lot
in that class. I spoke little, but listened intently. He also
groaned and sighed and “oof” ed every time he sat or
stood or moved in his chair, which hampered my ability
to hear anything. I did speak at those moments – and
rather sarcastically asked him one Sunday morning if he
would like a bit of cheese to go with that whine he
seemed to be enjoying so much.
Game on.
Little did I know that this might spark a danger-
ous competition of comments (mostly about his many
groans and my “northerner” words). It would have
helped to know ahead of time that he has a rather com-
petitive spirit and a scary ability to return sarcasm for
sarcasm. Now, too late, I know. But his lob return skills
impressed me enough to boldly ask him if he might want
to suffer through a northern lunch/dinner with me after
class. He said he would. And he did. In fact, he stayed for
three hours – did not choke on the food or hide it under
his napkin (that would come later when I dared to serve
link meat in the lasagna), did not seem to mind getting
caught in a summer downpour (getting soaked has been
a continuing theme), and even said he’d like to do this
again sometime.And so we entered the frightening world
known as Senior Dating – which has proven to be much
like Junior Dating, minus the zits..
Neither of us has had much recent practice, as
we both had marriages lasting upwards of 25 years. But a
healthy sense of humor can go a very long way in making
it work when things get awkward. And we do have a few
things in common. We are both the youngest in families
of five siblings (sisters’ translation: spoiled brats); we both
have sibling twin sets (and in a hideously blonde moment,
I asked if his male and female twin siblings were identical
– duh!); his son and my daughter discovered that they
have a mutual friend (now come on, that’s pretty amazing
all by itself, right?); we have both suffered the end of long
marriages – one to death and one to divorce. But loss is
loss and there is always common ground in grief. And,
above all, we both treasure the choice to live by faith.
by Marti Miller
Y
biscuits and cheese and desserts and cheese and grits. If
he could find a dessert made of cheese and bread and
chocolate, with a fried shrimp topping, he’d be a happy
man. I prefer salads and salmon and donuts (we’re good
on that one – sugary fried bread, hold the cheese). He
prefers talking to writing and doing things to reading
texting (yes, old folks can do that, slowly). He is quite
U
We are also quite different, which provides great
fuel for sarcasm. He likes fried anything and cheese and
(unless it’s a router bit catalog). I prefer to write and can
spend an entire day just thinking and reading. It is almost
painful for me to pick up a phone, so we compromise by
practical and usually sees things in black and white. I suf-
fer through even the smallest of decisions, seeing many
shades of gray.
All things considered, however, we find joy in
each other’s company.We’ll just overlook that little com-
petition problem. And we won’t get into the tiny detail
about bringing the past into the present so often that it
might spoil the future (mostly my fault). But, speaking of
presents – I wish I had enough space to share all the many
gifts received. They have included peaches, tomatoes, out-
house note cards (thanks, John), sweet potatoes, cleaning
products, and clothespins. Oh, be still my little heart!
But wait.They have also included a beautiful can-
dle to light when praying for my soldier son and a recent
solo flight to Maryland on New Year’s Day so I wouldn’t
have to drive back to Marion alone after saying goodbye
to that same son as he boarded a plane to New York and
ultimately to Afghanistan. He has gifted me with beautiful
words about my daughter and has allowed me the privi-
lege of spending time with his son and family. Under the
Christmas tree I found a GPS so, as he said: “you can
always find your way back to me”.And while we’re on the
subject of trees, he also saw to it that I would have a real
one this year – something I haven’t enjoyed in three
years. So it leaned a little, so what? I was lucky enough to
find a book in the children’s section for him, entitled
“Mr.Willoughby’s Christmas Tree”. Uh-oh. Just gave away
his name, didn’t I? Oh well.
...continued
98-99 1/28/10 10:10 AM Page 2

Y “For a long while I waited for

a new life to begin – for that
“new man” to show up on
my doorstep so that I could
again perhaps know the joy
of loving another as I had
loved the one who left. God
did not grant me that prayer.
He gave me much more.”

U
But wait. They have also included a beautiful candle to light when praying
for my soldier son and a recent solo flight to Maryland on New Year’s Day so I
wouldn’t have to drive back to Marion alone after saying goodbye to that same son
as he boarded a plane to New York and ultimately to Afghanistan. He has gifted me
with beautiful words about my daughter and has allowed me the privilege of spend-
ing time with his son and family. Under the Christmas tree I found a GPS so, as he
said: “you can always find your way back to me”.And while we’re on the subject of
trees, he also saw to it that I would have a real one this year – something I haven’t
enjoyed in three years. So it leaned a little, so what? I was lucky enough to find a
book in the children’s section for him, entitled “Mr. Willoughby’s Christmas Tree”.
Uh-oh. Just gave away his name, didn’t I? Oh well.
What else have I given him? You mean besides a raging headache and con-
tinual back pain, with a gorgeous gift bag of hot tongue and cold shoulder? It is my
sincere hope that I have given him a reason to believe that love will remain alive and
well in this world until we reach for home. I hope I have given him a few moments
of side-hurting laughter along with the knowledge that his love is the only gift I will
ever need. I will practice the definition found in I Corinthians 13:4-8 and I will keep
practicing it until I get it right.
Whatever comes our way around the corner or over the next hill or in
its valley, having him in my life, no matter how briefly, has been the most wonderful
gift. I have been loved by him and laughed with him and lived contently in his pres-
ence. I will cherish him always whether he remains present or not. And only God
knows how it all will go – because it is toward Him that we look together.And for
that view, I am grateful beyond words.
His sister recently told me that her brother deserves to be happy and that
he lives his faith and when he says something, you can believe that he means it.Yes,
he does.And yes, I do intend to put his happiness ahead of my own, to walk beside
him in that faith, and to believe what he tells me. But I will not feed him cheese and
bread and fried food and dessert too often.Well, maybe donuts wouldn’t hurt once
in a while?
So, here’s the good news: If you ever find yourself questioning if life, love,
and laughter can return to you after it has been snuffed out by circumstance or
choices made, know for sure that indeed it can and does return – and it can be even
better than you ever imagined. It is just sometimes delivered in a package that is not
familiar and arrives when least expected. But it is a gift always.And, speaking of pack-
ages delivered, if you find yourself in Florence around Irby Street and pass a certain
FedEX Ground truck, you will be near someone who is even more wonderful than
hot donuts.And I really, really love those donuts. Hold the cheese…and the whine.

Marti Miller lives in Marion, SC and has officially embarrassed herself beyond all hope
by sharing this information. No, wait - there’s always hope. Romans 8:28
101 1/21/10 2:28 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 101

Teaching the Joy of Dance

Toni Adams,
Owner/Director
INSTRUCTORS: Carl Askew,
Brittany Jeffers, Mary Jones

TAP AGES 3-ADULT

Exclusively at BALLET CLASSES HELD MON. - THURS. • 2:30 - 8:00
JAZZ Several performances during each year including
Pecan Festival, Arts Alive, and an annual recital.
HIP HOP
CLOGGING A NEW CLASS IN MODERN DANCE
MODERN for Teenagers STARTING NOW.
POINTE Few slots available in other classes.
Call for more information
305 Rainbow Dr. • Florence • 662-2641
Mon.-Fri. • 9:30a.m.-6:00p.m. 130 A N. Coit St. Florence, SC • 8 4 3 - 6 1 7 - 9 6 0 7

Chiropractics along with

Massage is Total Healing!
Gift Certificates Available!
SHERRI K. SCOTT, LMT#4017
Our licensed massage therapist
specializes in caring, nurturing, &
individualized massage for people
with conditions that require gentle
care and a comforting touch. She
is also certified in cancer massages.

DR. JON K. BERGRIN DC, CCN

405 S. Ebenezer Road • Florence 843-662-4341 ww.familyneckandback.com
98-99 1/27/10 11:34 AM Page 2

Y “For a long while I waited for

a new life to begin – for that
“new man” to show up on
my doorstep so that I could
again perhaps know the joy
of loving another as I had
loved the one who left. God
did not grant me that prayer.
He gave me much more.”

But wait. They have also included a beautiful candle to light when praying
for my soldier son and a recent solo flight to Maryland on New Year’s Day so I
wouldn’t have to drive back to Marion alone after saying goodbye to that same son
as he boarded a plane to New York and ultimately to Afghanistan. He has gifted me
with beautiful words about my daughter and has allowed me the privilege of spend-
ing time with his son and family. Under the Christmas tree I found a GPS so, as he
said: “you can always find your way back to me”.And while we’re on the subject of
trees, he also saw to it that I would have a real one this year – something I haven’t
enjoyed in three years. So it leaned a little, so what? I was lucky enough to find a
book in the children’s section for him, entitled “Mr. Willoughby’s Christmas Tree”.
Uh-oh. Just gave away his name, didn’t I? Oh well.
What else have I given him? You mean besides a raging headache and con-
tinual back pain, with a gorgeous gift bag of hot tongue and cold shoulder? It is my
sincere hope that I have given him a reason to believe that love will remain alive and
well in this world until we reach for home. I hope I have given him a few moments
of side-hurting laughter along with the knowledge that his love is the only gift I will
ever need. I will practice the definition found in I Corinthians 13:4-8 and I will keep
practicing it until I get it right.
Whatever comes our way around the corner or over the next hill or in
its valley, having him in my life, no matter how briefly, has been the most wonderful
gift. I have been loved by him and laughed with him and lived contently in his pres-
ence. I will cherish him always whether he remains present or not. And only God
knows how it all will go – because it is toward Him that we look together.And for
that view, I am grateful beyond words.
His sister recently told me that her brother deserves to be happy and that
he lives his faith and when he says something, you can believe that he means it.Yes,
he does.And yes, I do intend to put his happiness ahead of my own, to walk beside
him in that faith, and to believe what he tells me. But I will not feed him cheese and
bread and fried food and dessert too often.Well, maybe donuts wouldn’t hurt once
in a while?
So, here’s the good news: If you ever find yourself questioning if life, love,
and laughter can return to you after it has been snuffed out by circumstance or
choices made, know for sure that indeed it can and does return – and it can be even
better than you ever imagined. It is just sometimes delivered in a package that is not
familiar and arrives when least expected. But it is a gift always.And, speaking of pack-
ages delivered, if you find yourself in Florence around Irby Street and pass a certain
FedEX Ground truck, you will be near someone who is even more wonderful than
hot donuts.And I really, really love those donuts. Hold the cheese…and the whine.

Marti Miller lives in Marion, SC and has officially embarrassed herself beyond all hope
by sharing this information. No, wait - there’s always hope. Romans 8:28
102 1/26/10 12:46 PM Page 1

Fudge
Brownie
Trifle

Shopping List:
• 1 Package of fudge brownie mix*
• 1 Package of chocolate instant
pudding (5.1-ounce box)
• 2 Eggs
• 2 Cups of cold milk
• 1/2 Cup of Kahlua
• 1 Container of whipped topping
(16-ounce container)
• 1 Bag of Toffee Bar bits
• 1 Cup of chopped walnuts
* Vegetable oil called for on brownie mix.

Directions:
• Prepare the brownie mix according to package directions and bake. from the kitchen of
• Prepare the instant pudding according to package directions and chill.
• Once the brownies are partially cool, poke holes in the top of the brownies
with a wooden skewer or toothpick.
Amy Just
• Brush the brownies with Kahlua and set aside to finish cooling. Amy Just is from Florence and works as a Dental
• In a trifle bowl, break one half of the brownies into bite-sized pieces. Assistant for Dr. Economy. Amy (assisted by
• Top the bite-sized pieces of brownie with a layer of pudding. Martha Davis, Dustin’s mother) made this dessert
• Add a layer of whipped topping. when she was preparing a care package for her
boyfriend, Dustin, who has just deployed to
• Top with half the bag of Toffee Bar bits and a half cup of the chopped walnuts.
Afghanistan. She was already making brownies,
• Repeat the above layering in the same order for the second layer. so she just made a double batch.
• You may serve immediately or refrigerate overnight.
103 1/26/10 1:10 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 103

You can look younger, more beautiful in 2010

Trained in without the expense of medical procedures.
New Jersey.
Practicing in
Florence.
Serving the
Pee Dee.

Make an
Pattie Hudson appointment by
Independent BeautiControl Consultant
Hudson Image, LLC calling Pattie Hudson
at 843-398-0012.
Or drop by on
Monday, Thursday
or Friday from
Contact me for details! Noon until 6pm.

2306 Second Loop Rd.
Florence, SC

www.beautipage.com/bc-pattie-party
(843) 617-2902

Carolinas Hospital System

is pleased to welcome
Dr. Eduardo Donato
to Carolinas Medical Practice. Tailgating cooler

Board-certified in internal medicine, Dr. Donato completed

his residency at Jersey City Medical Center, New Jersey, after
receiving his M.D. from the University of Santo Tomas, Manila.
Dr. Donato has been serving the Pee Dee Region since 2000.
“Medicine is an ever-changing field,” said Dr. Donato. “My Market Tote
commitment to my patients is to remain current in order to give cooler
them the best treatment possible.”
Dr. Donato is currently accepting new patients. His practice
is located at 1594 Freedom Boulevard, Suite 102, in Florence.
To make an appointment, please call (843) 679-4221.

Member of the Medical Staff at Beach Towels

MONOGRAMMING
812 S. Cashua Dr. • Florence BABY ITEMS
Between Baby Furniture & GIFT ITEMS
All the technology. All the heart. All the time. More and Christy Moore PURSES
843.665.6755
805 Pamplico Highway • Florence, SC • (843) 674-5000 • www.carolinashospital.com JEWELRY
Tues-Fri, 10-5:30
104-105 1/25/10 11:51 AM Page 1

Traverse City, Michigan

Lackland AFB,
San Antonio,Texas

Puna Cana,
Dominica Republica Florence, Italy

Lackland AFB, San Antonio,Texas Traverse City, Michigan

Joye Collins & Melissa Reed
October 2009 She Magazine
• “In October, we went to see my son, James M.
Reed, III, graduate from Basic Training at Lackland
Air Force Base in San Antonio,Texas. On the left is
Joye Collins, and I’m on the right.” - Melissa Reed
Amy Hatchell-Weaver
October 2009 She Magazine
• “She went with me on a road trip to Traverse City, Michigan. It was great to have another
she along for the 17-hour road trip with my two favorite Weaver men – my sweet husband,
Darman, and even sweeter father-in-law, Kenneth. We enjoyed a wonderful week with a spe-
cial friend and gracious hostess. The shores of Lake Michigan are beautiful but cold to this
girl raised in the South. Thanks for the She companionship!” - Amy Hatchell-Weaver

Punta Cana, Dominica Republica

L-R: Nellie Lewis, Helen Maye, Nelda Fowler, Juliet
Florence, Italy
Coleman, Elaine Morris, Ednetta Scott, Barbara Johnson Sarah Thomas
September 2009 She Magazine October 2009 She Magazine
• “I vacationed in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, at the Meliá Caribe
• “I ran into two female policia (police) in Florence, Italy. The names are from
Resort. It is absolutely the most beautiful resort you can imagine!
There was great food with eight different restaurants to choose from, left, Sara, me (Sarah) and Sara. Is that crazy or what?! This picture was taken
trolly cars to take you anywhere on the resort that you would like and near the San Lorenzo Market area of Florence. The second picture (not
the rooms were very spacious with balconies. I highly recommend this
resort for children and adults because there are children and adult pro-
shown) is at the San Lorenzo Market. This area has tons of leather goods,
grams both day and night. She Magazine has been introduced to the scarves, glassware, coats – it’s like an expensive flea market!” – Sarah Thomas
islands!” Nelda Fowler
104-105 1/25/10 11:52 AM Page 2

Honolulu, Hawaii

Toronto, Canada

Nashville,
Tennessee Lake Guntersville, Alabama

Going Somewhere? Take She along!

To be featured in “There She Goes,” send an e-mail to editor@shemagazine.com. Include a picture of yourself
(and your traveling companions if you’d like) with a copy of She Magazine along with a brief description.

Toronto, Canada Honolulu, Hawaii

Christel Copeland & Nya Ambrose Jackie Smith
July 2009 She Magazine August 2009 She Magazine

• “My daughter, Nya, and I took She to visit Nya’s Granny
in Toronto, Canada, this summer. Here, we’re at the CN
Tower – Canada’s National Tower – at the Communities in
Bloom Gardens.” - Christel Copeland
Nashville,Tennessee
Alivia, Sheila, & Jedd Alan Hess, Jr.
November 2009 She Magazine
• “Our family went to Nashville for Thanksgiving. Since She Magazine is my
favorite, I brought it along to enjoy while Alivia and Jedd Alan napped dur-
ing our trip to Music City USA. We stopped for a picture in front of the
Country Music Hall of Fame Museum.” - Sheila Hess
• This is Jackie Smith from Lydia, SC, visiting Hawaii
with a friend back in September. She is pictured
standing in the Honolulu Airport.
Lake Guntersville, Alabama
Judy Langley
September 2009 She Magazine
• I am the Pilot International Director (fourth from left),
and I shared She Magazine with Bonnie Turner (fourth from
right), Pilot International Alabama District Governor, while
attending their Fall Council meeting in Lake Guntersville
State Park. These Alabama Pilots were very impressed
with the publication and appreciated the photo opportuni-
ty.” - Judy Langley
106 1/27/10 9:08 AM Page 1
\ I used to really hate Valentine’s Day. Seeing all
my co-workers get flowers at the office, hearing about
all the romantic plans and gifts and knowing I was alone
was all I needed to go into a full-fledged funk over this
Hallmark holiday.
One year, I decided there had to be people
worse off than me during Valentine’s Day. I figured this
out after several of my students were complaining that
they “hated V-Day.” I was shocked that these young,
vibrant men and women with their whole lives ahead
of them were working themselves into such a lather
about a day mostly created by florists. Here was the
“a-ha” moment! That’s what I do, too!
So, I launched upon a mission whereby I iden-
tified single friends who I thought might really be sad
about being single – those who were recently divorced
or dumped, single moms, never-marrieds, anyone who
wasn’t married or dating anyone. I made homemade
cookies and Valentines and delivered them to their
offices or homes that day. And, the best part was what
I got – the looks on their faces of surprise and delight
that they had been loved and remembered. Priceless!
Then, I treated myself to a massage after all that run-
ning around delivering cookies.
One of my favorite stories in the Gospels is
Jesus at the pool of Bethesda. (See the Gospel of St.
John, Chapter 5). Jesus asks an invalid man, “Do you
want to get well?”
The man responds by complaining that he has
no one to help him. The Messiah is standing before him
asking if he wants to be healed, and this guy is giving
him reasons why his life sucks. You know I like to
rewrite these scenes for my single girls, so try this one:
Jesus: Do you want to be happy?
Me: I don’t have a boyfriend (husband, date, etc.).
Jesus: Get over it and go live the great life I
died to give you. You live in the freest country on the
planet. You can do whatever you want, and you’re not
going to hell. What’s the problem? Do you want
something to complain about?
Mary R. Dittman, MBA, is an Instructor of Marketing and Director of the Internship Program in the School of Business at Francis Marion
University. She consults for a variety of local and regional companies and is actively involved in the Florence community.
UNMARRIED
`tÜç
VxÄxuÜtàxN WÉÇËà [tàx
by Mary R. Dittman, MBA
And, scene.
See, as I read
that passage in St. John,
Jesus heals the man, then
runs into him later at the temple
and says,“Stop sinning or something worse may happen
to you” (verse 15).
Scripture doesn’t provide details, but Jesus
typically didn’t go around threatening anyone (except
the Pharisees), so that tells me the man was probably
singing verse 2 of the “Woe is Me Blues.”
In verse 11, the man is chastised by people at
the temple for carrying his mat on the Sabbath, which
was considered work and, therefore, not allowed.
Instead of praising God or testifying about his healing,
he throws Jesus under the bus by saying,“The man who
made me walk told me to” (emphasis and paraphrasing
are mine). The Lord healed him after 38 years of afflic-
tion, and he’s still playing the Negative Nellie game.
“I can’t be happy by myself.”
“I’ll never be happy if I’m single.”
I used to feel that way. For a long time, I
feared being 40 and single. In the words of Job,“. . . that
which I feared has come upon me,” and it’s actually
pretty cool. I really like being single. Truly.
Here’s the deal. God is holding out to you a
great life – a life that was bought with the life of His
own Son. Maybe it’s not exactly what you wanted, but
show your gratitude by living what you have now to
the fullest. Jesus, Himself, did not want the crucifixion
option. Remember, in the Garden of Gethsemane,
when He asked if the cup might be taken from Him?
“Not My will, Father, but Yours be done” (Luke 22:42).
I have read many versions of the Gospels and
not one of them translates Jesus’ prayers as,“Yippee! I
can’t wait to be tortured and crucified for doing noth-
ing wrong. I can’t wait to be beaten, spit on and desert-
ed by all my friends. Good times.”
And, don’t go the route of our friend in the
temple. “Well, I guess God just wants me to stay
single. I’m trying to make the best of it; I guess it’ll
work out okay.”
Don’t blame God for your attitude. He may
have sent a lot of really great people your way, but you
weren’t able to appreciate them.
Stop focusing on your affliction and loneliness
and love someone else. I love Valentine’s Day now for
several reasons. First, I have a blast taking little
Valentines to my single friends or hosting a party for
singles only – not one of those dress-in-black-hate-the-
day parties. It’s a real party with roses and chocolate
and music. Second, I always buy myself a nice
Valentine’s gift. This started one year when I had bro-
ken up with a fella I was dating and decided to use the
money I was going to spend on him for myself instead.
I ended up with some really nice jewelry that year.
If you have decided you can’t be happy if
you’re single, you’ll probably remain single for a while.
Here’s another piece of news: men don’t like unhappy
women. Ask some of them. They’re not looking for
Debbie Downer or Prozac Patty.
Maybe that’s what Jesus was trying to tell the
man from the pool. All that negativity just attracts
more bad things into your life. So, get it together and
start doing something positive, even if you don’t have
what you want. Then, you’re showing God He can trust
you with the blessings He wants to send you.
And, by the way, Valentine’s Day isn’t always
perfect for married women. A lot of them have to nag
and remind their husbands, or they have to make all the
plans and hubby will just come along for the ride. And,
they may not even be able to buy themselves some-
thing because they may be accountable to the mister
for what they spend.
Stop dreading Valentine’s Day and start using
it as a day to bless the people around you who are suf-
fering. God will use that love to heal you and your bro-
ken or empty heart.
107 1/21/10 2:35 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 107

Valentine’s Day Special:

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February Special:
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108 1/27/10 5:09 PM Page 1
BROKEN HEART
SYNDROME
Dr. Fred M. Krainin
McLeod Interventional Cardiologist
B roken heart syndrome, which is also known as apical ballooning
syndrome or stress-induced cardiomyopathy was first
described by Japanese doctors in 1991.
These Japanese physicians named this condition
takotsubo cardiomyopathy. In Japanese, “tako-tsubo”
means “octopus pot,” which is the device used by
Japanese fishermen to catch octopus.
Heart The left ventricle, of a patient diagnosed
at Rest with this condition, resembles that shape. It
is a condition thought to be caused by intense
emotional stress, resulting in rapid and severe
heart muscle weakness and a temporary
enlargement in part of the heart (cardiomyopathy).
Some examples of triggers for broken heart
syndrome can include the death of a loved one,
extreme anger, or surprise. Emotional stressors
Contracted are not the only triggers for this disorder.
Heart Physical stressors such as surgery, seizure, and
normal
contraction car accidents can also prompt cardiomyopathy.
The stress response, caused by perceived
threats is the so called "fight or flight" response.
This in turn leads to high blood pressure,
increased heart rate, sweating and a feeling
of anxiety, as well as increased alertness. It is
believed that in susceptible individuals, the heart
area of
abnormal can become overwhelmed by the surge of
contraction
adrenaline produced in response to the stressors. This is suspected of
contributing to the abnormal findings in broken heart syndrome.The exact
cause of broken heart syndrome is undetermined.
Symptoms of broken heart syndrome are identical to symptoms
that heart attack victims experience. These symptoms include chest
pain, shortness of breath, nausea and sweating. The symptoms typically
appear within minutes or hours after the person has been exposed to
Dr. Krainin is an Interventional Cardiologist who performs many diagnostic and interventional procedures in the McLeod Cardiac Catheterization laboratory.
He is in practice with Pee Dee Cardiology Associates.
the physical or emotional stress. Although the symptoms of broken
heart syndrome are very similar to those of a heart attack, there are
some important and distinct differences. One of the main differences
between heart attack and broken heart syndrome is that broken heart
syndrome is usually completely reversible. Most people who experience
broken heart syndrome have normal coronary arteries without the
severe blockages or clots seen in the arteries of heart attack victims.
In general, the long term prognosis for patients who have experienced
broken heart syndrome appears to be excellent, because the heart muscle is
not permanently damaged with this syndrome. It is rare for an individual
to experience a recurrence once they have recovered.This condition is
seen almost exclusively in post-menopausal women, although the reason
for this is unclear. Originally felt to be rare, more and more cases are
appearing and it seems to be more common than once thought. It is not unusual
for us to see one or more cases a month here in the Pee Dee.
Because this is a newly recognized condition, ongoing research
is being done to gain more understanding about this syndrome. If you
or a loved one experiences chest pain, shortness of breath, or other symptoms
of heart attack, call 911 and go immediately to your nearest emergency
room.The Chest Pain Center at the McLeod Emergency Department is
staffed 24 hours a day, seven days a week by experienced healthcare
professionals trained in recognizing and treating a heart attack.
Once you arrive at the hospital, an electrocardiogram (EKG) will
be performed to evaluate any heart abnormalities and an echocardiogram
(ultrasound of the heart) may also be performed to take a closer look
at the left ventricle. However, the diagnosis can only be definitively made
with a heart catheterization, which will show the typical findings of the
octopus pot shaped heart with normal coronary arteries.The standard
treatment for broken heart syndrome is the same as for a traditional
heart attack. Some patients can become critically ill, just like a severe
heart attack, and occasionally it can even result in death. However most
people recover, and leave the hospital in several days to a week.
109 1/22/10 2:01 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 109

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110 1/26/10 2:51 PM Page 1

She: the look of

Adam & Tuesday Taylor

What is your idea of a perfect date night?
“With two small children (Banks, 4, and Keaton, 2), any date would be
perfect to me. However, my favorite date nights are the ones we have
during weekend getaways with just the two of us. Whether it’s formal
or casual, just being together makes me happy. It’s the simple things
that I love most about our married life.” ~ Tuesday Taylor

on location at Victor’s Bistro in Florence

Ricki Ford Photography

On Adam: Purple Stripe Damon

Spread Collar Dress Shirt; Navy
Cutter and Buck Sports Coat;
Pleated Khaki Enro Pants; Purple
and Blue Paisley Bruno Piatelli Tie
from Carolina Bay
Clothing Company, Marion.

On Tuesday: Purple Jersey Maxi Dress

by Karlie and Dominique Pearl
Necklace by Helen Marie Designs
Adam and Tuesday Taylor of Marion, both from CYNTHIA in Florence.
have been married five years this
Valentine’s Day. Adam is employed at Hair and Makeup by Candie Denham
Time Warner Cable;Tuesday is the Spa De Vie, Florence.
General Manager at She Magazine.
111 1/21/10 2:44 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 111

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112 1/26/10 2:52 PM Page 1

She: the look of

Lacey Gaddy & Joel Ivey
What is your most
memorable date night?
“My most memorable date night was
when Joel took me to a bed and
breakfast for supper and gave me a
diamond watch and a cookbook he
made for me with all my recipes in it.”
~ Lacey Gaddy

on location at Victor’s Bistro in Florence

Ricki Ford Photography

Lacey Gaddy and Joel Ivey both reside

Florence. Joel works at Jebaily Law Firm,
and Lacey is the Manager at Flirt Boutique.

On Lacey: Black Esley Cocktail Dress On Joel: Sweater from the Alan Paine
with ruffled collar. Flower cluster
English LIne, Blazer-Hart Schaffner & Marx,
earrings with diamond accents complete
Pants-Zanier All from from
her romantic, sophisticated look.
Butler’s Fine Men’s Clothing
All from FLIRT BOUTIQUE
in Florence
in Florence
113 1/21/10 2:51 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 113

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114 1/26/10 2:53 PM Page 1

Shelley and Richard Marsh live in Marion, SC. They have a

She: the look of

four-year-old daughter, Rylyn Marie Marsh. This is Shelley’s
eleventh year as a second grade teacher at Easterling
Primary School. Richard is a Mortgage Consultant/Branch
Manager for First Choice Mortgage and a Sales Consultant
for Atlantic Merchant Services.

Shelley & Richard Marsh

What is your most
memorable date night?
“Richard and I have had so many memorable date
nights that it’s hard to mention only one. From

on location at Victor’s Bistro in Florence

our picnic lunch at Brookgreen Gardens to our
daytrips to Charleston, they were each special in Ricki Ford Photography
their own way. The best one, however, has to be
the time Richard told me to pack my bags for a
surprise weekend. He drove me to the airport
and we flew to the Canadian side of Niagara Falls.
He had the entire weekend planned – even down
to our meals, tours and hotel. He went so far as
to have balloons, flowers and chocolates in our
room when we arrived. We had a spectacular
weekend thanks to Richard’s tireless efforts.
That’s just one of the many reasons why I look at
him with the ‘look of love.’” ~ Shelley Marsh

On Shelley: Cornflower Blue Sleeveless Dress On Richard: Black Palm Beach

with empire waist and feminine. ruffled v-neckline Suit with Blue Pinstripe Enro
by Taylor paired with Jessica Simpson platform shoes Dress Shirt with EZ Cool and
and Silver, Diamond accented bangle. Bruno Piattelli Tie all from
All from Belk in Florence. Carolina Bay Clothing
Hair and Makeup : Stuart Laurence Salon, Florence. Company, Marion.
115 1/21/10 2:57 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 115

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116 1/26/10 2:10 PM Page 1

Butterfly
by Cookie Cawthon
Summer was under our skin in a bad way. It was the carrot dangling before
our noses as we flittered through the last days of school. Regardless of what a busy
time the close of the year can be, there is a light anticipation, the cool breeze of free-
dom blowing against our backs. There were parties and end-of-the year gifts, assess-
ments and awards programs. Carson, completing first grade, brought a gift home from
her teacher. It was a disc full of pictures, set to a sampling of music clips. The slideshow
of pictures alone would have beckoned big mama tears as I glimpsed moments of her
life away from me and noticed her change through the progression of photographs. But
the music got me; something about a song can stir my soul.
I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you're faced with the choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you
After totally emptying the contents of her backpack on the kitchen counter:
folded papers, notebooks, drawings, lip gloss, pencils and erasers, folders, candy, and
candy wrappers, she unearthed the disc and enthusiastically and impatiently begged to
watch it immediately on my computer. Fighting the urge to be highly annoyed by the
instant mess that had spontaneously erupted before my very eyes, I consented.
And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin' til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything
My wish for youIs that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold
The class movie began, and I
felt my breathing quicken. My eyes
felt hot and full, then brimming over. I
stood transfixed, watching Nicholas
reading a book, Savannah on the com-
puter, Brad pledging to the flag, and
Olivia doing the limbo at the class luau.
And my Carson. Living her life. Doing
her thing. Apart from me.
Wishes
And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish
Both of my girls thought it total mom weirdness that I was standing there with
big tears rolling. We just don’t get her at all sometimes, they were thinking. At their
request, we watched three times consecutively. I was completely unable to tear myself
away. Over the past six months, I wouldn’t dare to guess how many times we’ve bro-
ken out the first grade movie, and I cry without fail.
I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you and the place you left
I hope you always forgive and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get
Of course, I blame some of that on Rascal Flatts and their song, “My Wish.”
Heck, you’re probably bawling right now too. Those lyrics are killer. Just like any
respectable country tune should, they get to the heart of the matter. Live. Love. Laugh.
Remember. Dream. And press on.
From what I hear, first grade quickly becomes fifth, and sixth grade becomes
senior year. The truth in that song has the power to penetrate the everyday annoyances,
the tedium of caring for school-age children: sweeping up the same Goldfish crumbs,
reminding them to hang up their washcloths, mediating the same sibling arguments day
in and day out, and transports me to a vulnerable place as a mother. A place where I
have a magnified understanding that I don’t get to keep her forever. She is mine but for
a short time; they both are. That makes my mothering mistakes feel heavy and solid.
Oh, you'd find God's grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take
So. That’s my wish for her. And Campbell. And me.
That we would live fully – forsaking fear and the mundane
to embrace challenge and adventure. That we would love
deeply and be loved through and through. That we would
often laugh together ‘til we pee our pants, gasp for breath,
and clutch our aching tummies.
Father, the task before me is daunting and scary. I
am flawed and unworthy to be their mother, so I humbly
ask for your help, every day. Your wisdom. Your patience.
Your grace and mercy. And theirs.
Happy Valentine’s Day, sweet Cawthon girls! I love you
as big as Texas, and I think you rock like nobody’s business!

Cookie Cawthon messes it up more than

she gets it right but is sooooo, sooooo,
soooo very thankful to mother her
Sunshine and her Rockstar.
117 1/21/10 3:03 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 117

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118-119 1/27/10 3:37 PM Page 1

ASK
A MAN’S PERSPECTIVE ON THINGS WOMEN CARE ABOUT

ASK
Dr. Avie
with Avie J. Rainwater, III, Ph.D., ABPP

Question 1:

AS
Dear Dr. Avie,
It’s almost Valentine’s Day, and love is on most everyone’s mind. It’s on my mind, too; however, what a lot of men (and some
women) think love is all about – sex – is the farthest thing from my mind. I love my husband with all my heart; but, because of

S
some things that I’m going through right now, I cannot bear the thought of having sex. Unfortunately, even though I love him, it’s
still “having sex” – not making love. How can I make him understand that even though I don’t want to have sex, I still need hugs
and kisses? I still need for him to touch me and snuggle with me and hold me without expecting something in return. I still need
his affection – and I still need him. He knows my situation; so, am I being unfair to him? Is there any help for us? Please help!

Question 2:
Dear Dr. Avie,
All the media coverage of Tiger Woods’ alleged affairs has really made me wonder, “Why, exactly, do
men cheat?” Looking at his beautiful wife, it just doesn’t make sense. Dr. Avie, can you shed some light?

Two questions, one theme – sex. What a great these things consistently. As Shakespeare wrote, “Aye, So, if it’s that basic, if the topic and the needs
topic as sex is so very important in our lives – there’s the rub!” Based on socialization and still-present really are the same, why is it often problematic? There is
the lives of both men and women. The begin- gender roles, women tend to be much more patient than a classic stalemate involved. Husbands don’t do the work

S
ning problem is that men and women have vast-
ly different definitions for what sex actually is.
And, those differences primarily have to do with
the why of physical intimacy, not the how or what.
To exemplify this difference, let’s refer to an old,
men, and consistency is all about patience. To be consis-
tent, one must be able to put aside challenges to what is
needed, and he must be willing to do so in favor of the
bigger picture. Again, this is a simple concept, but not at
all an easy one.
necessary to assure their wives’ needs are met and thus
wives are not as open to physical intimacy as are men.
You can’t have arguments and yell at your wife and be a
jerk and then expect her to jump into bed with you. Not
going to happen!

K
somewhat crass saying that holds a lot of truth: “Women
need a reason to have sex; men just need a place.” Let’s
look at this a little deeper. Why do women need a rea-
son for physical intimacy? As with many things that I
explore with patients, I have to preference my response
with,“This is simple, but it’s not easy.” The simple answer
is that women primarily engage in sex for the emotional
closeness, the bonding of hearts, a celebration of the spe-
cialness of the relationship – oh, and also because it’s
enjoyable physically. That’s simple, right? It makes sense,
right? However, the man, he has to handle himself in the
relationship in a manner that allows the woman to read-
ily feel these emotions and thus be open to become inti-
mate. Any guy will tell you that accomplishing this with a
woman is anything but easy.
Why is it so difficult? Really, for three reasons:
First, it requires the man to think of the woman first. This
is not a man’s (nor a woman’s) natural state. We are self-
ish by nature. Remember that whole original sin thing?
Eating of the forbidden fruit was the first selfish act, and
we are still trying to overcome that stronghold. Second,
when it comes to matters of sexual needs, a man can
sometimes have trouble fully accessing all of his thinking
capacity to make good, caring and selfless decisions.
Third, thinking unselfishly isn’t enough; a man has to do
Now, let’s look at the opposite side of the coin.
If women enjoy sexuality for romantic reasons, then what
motivates a man sexually? Now, you might think that it’s
just the enjoyment of the activity, but you’d be wrong.
Sure, men, like women, enjoy sex – a lot. Statistically,
however, 75% of women enjoy sex and want it as much
as do men. So, if men and women are that close in their
enjoyment of intimacy, why does it appear that sex is so
much more important to men?
First, men talk about sex a bit more and broach
the topic more than women. But, that, too, is about
socialization more than need. Men are socialized, from an
early age, to sublimate a lot of needs into sexuality.
Women get together and talk about their desires and
hopes and dreams. Men talk about how badly they want
a woman! Guess what? It’s the same topic, just a differ-
ent language.
This gets to the “why” for men. When a man is
intimate with a woman, he feels affirmed, loved, appreci-
ated, enjoyed – and the sex is deeply gratifying. A woman
might say,“I wish my husband was more loving and caring
and . . .” while a man might say,“Hey, let’s have sex!” But,
what he means is, “I need to feel loved and cared for.”
Yes, amazingly as it seems, we are talking about the same
thing, but with different languages.
Is this all on the man’s shoulders? Not at all.
Any woman knows that if she will take the time to build
her man up, to encourage him, be loving to him, she will
find him being the sweet man she desires. Get it? That
she desires. So, why don’t women do this? Again, the
answer is simple but not easy. It gets back to the same
selfishness and consistency.
So, the cat’s out of the bag; women can be self-
ish and inconsistent, too. She doesn’t put forth the effort
to be his champion and his lover, and so he feels lonely
and hurt and selfishly doesn’t put forth the effort to be
her tender protector. It’s a very vicious cycle.
In the first question, the reader alludes to some-
thing in her life that makes sex undesirable for her “right
now.” The time clarification suggests this reader needs
some time to heal (either emotionally or physically) so
that sex can become something positive again. Start
there. Tell your husband exactly what you’re going
through. Clarify that this will be, with his help, a time-lim-
ited thing and express your continued need for affection
without the pressure of sex. A reasonable man, one who
cares about his wife – and who knows this is a time-lim-
ited issue – is going to want to meet his wife’s needs.
(continued...)
118-119 1/27/10 3:37 PM Page 2

“Over time, it becomes easy for him

to rationalize his thinking
about having an affair to the point
where actions become acts.”

Scripture outlines that it is acceptable to abstain from sex within a marriage

for a period of time, but not too long so as to avoid temptation (I Corinthians 7:5-
6). The crux of that time is so that you can devote yourself to prayer. Whatever
the reader is going through, it is certainly something that she and her husband
should be praying about together, and that fits into the scriptural direction perfect-
ly. If you share your heart with him and he insensitively doesn’t “get it,” then that’s
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Now to the question of why men have affairs. There are many reasons,
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ity is why men tend to have affairs more than women – the “basic” need can be
met in a very “basic” (e.g., sexual) manner. For that amount of stolen time with a
lover, the man doesn’t have to think about all that he isn’t, all that he’s done wrong,
all the ways he has failed, and he can relish in the tender affirmations he receives
from the pleasure of sexual closeness.
Having enjoyed that escape, however, he then has to escape from his
escape because he feels guilty. That’s why, for men, affairs don’t typically last
because they stay physical and don’t get to the emotional level that is needed to
create a lasting physically intimate bond.
In closing, I want to share four things for you to consider. First, because
sexual closeness is so powerful in a marriage, it is an area that the Deceiver will
use to accomplish his goal of seeking to “kill, steal and destroy.” Second, in the
entirety of my practice, I have never had a wife say to me,“He’s so nice and sweet
and considerate, but our sex life is terrible.” Third, I have also never seen a cou-
ple where the wife is attentive and encouraging and the problem they were deal-
ing with was infidelity. Fourth, and most importantly, it is in our sex lives that lov-
ing our mate more than ourselves comes into play in a most real way as it gives
us the opportunity to love our mate as they need to be loved – and giving to them
while expecting nothing in return.

Senior Partner of LifeCare Psychology Group, LLC, Dr. Avie J. Rainwater is the only Triple-
Boarded Psychologist in SC, holding Specialty Certification in Clinical Psychology and
Sub-Specialty Designations in both Biofeedback and Pain Management. He and his
wife of 31 years, Karen, have three children together. Chelsea, Seth and Josh.

* If you have a question that you

would like to have answered in
ASK DR. AVIE, email anonymously
to askdravie@shemagazine.com www.hartsvillegoodliving.com • www.hartsvillechamber.org and
www.facebook.com/OurHartsville
122 1/22/10 2:06 PM Page 1

What is it that
stimulates our sexual Sex Drive and
desire?
Your Hormones
by J. Marshall Dent, III, MD

H as anyone ever told you when you feel grumpy, angry, tearful, short- tempered
or lacking in sexual desire that “it must be your hormones”? Well, this kind of general-
not so much hormones as it is our brain chemistry. Unfortunately, there is a tendency
for our relationships to become routine, and our sex lives take a back seat to the hustle
ization is half right and half wrong. Yes, your hormones play a role in your sexual desire; and bustle of life. Before we know it, we are in that proverbial rut.
but, the truth is, the real solution is much deeper and varied than just your hormones. So, what if your sex life is not where it should be? First of all, take a careful eval-
One of the most common complaints of women today is the lack of sexual desire. Why uation of your lifestyle. I have provided some helpful tips that may improve the situation:
does this happen? It has become fashionable to blame our hormones for our loss of
libido. But, is there really any evidence that hormones are the real culprit? 1. Spend quality time together. Take time to add romance to your relationship.
The studies have been, if anything, confusing and not definitive in the answers to Treat your spouse like a date you are trying to impress. You know, like you did on that
the benefit of hormones on sexual desire. In both sexes, the hormone most responsible first date.
for desire is testosterone. There have been some studies showing a positive impact with
the use of testosterone. In my experience, the dose should be low and balanced and in 2. Make time to get adequate sleep. Fatigue is the biggest robber of sexual energy.
a bio-identical form to prevent side effects and to maximize benefits. The benefits can be
profound when used correctly and in the proper patient. The advantage is that it will help 3. Take time to create a mood. Dim lights and soft music can do a lot to stimu-
to sort out whether it’s a hormonal deficiency or other issue causing the decrease in late those romantic juices.
libido. The benefit can be a sudden improvement in desire, sexual thoughts and dreams.
The dosage is the key to success. To overdose will lead to unwanted side effects 4. Have a blood test for low thyroid and iron deficiency anemia, two com-
and the potential for hormone receptor overload. The concept of receptor overload is mon treatable conditions that may affect sex drive.
the response is never as intense since the receptors are saturated after the first dose. In
this patient, a withdrawal of hormone is necessary for the response to return. (I encour- 5. Share household duties. This will take stress off you and help you to bond bet-
age you to read Suzanne Somer’s book, The Sexy Years: Discover the Hormone ter with your spouse or partner. After you have cooked, cleaned the dishes and kitchen,
Connection, as she has done more than many physicians in educating women on the ben- it’s unlikely that sex is the first thing on your mind. Think about sharing duties in the
efits of testosterone.) You must realize, however, that all the testosterone in the world kitchen, and you’ll have more energy and time for the bedroom.
will not increase your desire if your partner is a first class jerk.
The other hormone that is essential to stimulating sexual experience is estro- 6. Create a date night once or twice a month and really build it up with little notes
gen. This hormone is greatly needed for the vaginal health to be optimized. The use of or reminders to your spouse. Make this time special. Men love to be romanced, too. You
estrogen is many times overlooked for its great benefit for vaginal lubrication via an may see a side in him you never knew existed.
increase in blood flow. Blood flow is very important for vaginal engorgement, which
increases sensation and intensity of orgasm. Estrogen may indirectly increase desire 7. Find a common interest or hobby. As our relationship matures, we often devel-
through greater satisfaction with the sexual experience. For the estrogen to work to its op our own interest that excludes our spouse. This can contribute to a lack of intimacy.
maximal benefit, it must be applied directly to the vaginal area. The area of most sensitiv- Take a cooking class together. Learn to play a sport; just find a common interest. Ladies,
ity is the outer third of the vagina. This happens to be one of the most undertreated areas you may be surprised to know that we like to have you involved in our hobbies.
in the female population, which is quite unfair with all the education and publicity about
erectile dysfunction medications available for the men. 8. Assess your medications. Certain medications have an adverse effect on sexual
Progesterone is the hormone that rises prior desire. These medications include antidepressants and
to the menses and falls when the menses tranquilizers and blood pressure medication.
ensues. It has long been felt to be the cul-
prit in symptoms of premenstrual 9. Improve your self-imagine.
syndrome (PMS), and the use of If you’re not happy with yourself,
progesterone has shown great how can your spouse make you
promise in the treatment of happy, sexually? Work on any
PMS. Progesterone has a issues you have first and don’t
great calming effect, project them onto your
enhances sleep and can level spouse. You don’t have to
out fluctuating emotions. be a Victoria’s Secret model
The benefit would be the to be drop-dead sexy to
indirect effect of mood sta- your husband.
bilization. It does have a
balancing effect against If a lack of sexual desire
excess hormone, so this may or activity is causing a
help to improve libido once major problem in your mar-
the balance is achieved. But, riage or relationship, find a
overall, progesterone has mini- physician that is understanding
mum direct benefit on sex- and willing to discuss the matter
ual desire. in a nonjudgmental way. By all
What is it that stim- means, seek some help. Don’t brush
ulates our sexual it under the rug and say, “My spouse
desire? When we are in understands.” You may be surprised to
a new relationship and know that your spouse may not be as
everything is fresh and understanding as you might think.
exciting, our brains
are very stimulat- If you have questions about the information in this
ed. So, the key to article, you may contact Dr. Dent at Complete
sexual desire is Women’s Health Care in Florence. Dr. Dent is
Board Certified in Family Practice and Obstetrics
and Gynecology and also holds an Advanced
Certification in Menopausal Medicine.
121 1/21/10 3:10 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 121

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122 1/26/10 3:17 PM Page 1

If you were a fish, would the 2.

woman in your last relationship
say you were a keeper, one
to throw back or the one
that got away?
1.

the
sir vey
1. Ronnie Nissen, Florence
“I was definitely the one that got away in my last relationship.
I’ve been happily married to my wife for 39 years now.”

2. Bruce Douglas, Hartsville

“She kept me, but she would probably say I was one to throw
back. Nevertheless, we’ve been happily married for five years
now. She’s definitely a keeper!”
3.

3. Jason Samra , Florence

“I was big enough for a keeper; but, I definitely was the one
that got away!”

4. Tom Budde, Florence

“I was the one that got away. It’s like they say, you never
appreciate what you have until it’s gone. Lucky for me, I’ve
got a keeper now!”
4.
123 1/27/10 10:35 AM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 123

Gatchell & Page, LLC

Certified Public Accountants
Charles “Arden” Gatchell, CPA, CVA Joseph O. Page, CPA

1381-A Celebration Blvd, Florence, SC 29501 (843) 407-5264

124 1/27/10 9:32 AM Page 1

Chicks SheMagazine and

Month
OF THE
Chick-fil-A ®
SALUTE...
The Staff of First United
Methodist Childcare Center
IN MARION

pictured clockwise from left: Cathy Davis, Gladys Lewis,

Jean Herring, Marie Atkinson, Lauren Bell, Katie Miller,
Vicki Bridgman, Glenda Milligan, Deloris McCray
In a letter to She Magazine,
Faye Joye wrote:

“
I would like to nominate the Staff of First United Methodist
Childcare Center in Marion for She Magazine’s “Chicks of the Month.”
Mrs. Jean Herring and her staff of eight have worked together for
many, many years. They all provide loving care to the children at this day-
care center. They always go the extra mile and take a special interest in all
the children.
The children are provided with many fun activities in a wonderful
year. During the summers, the children are provided with many extracur-
ricular activities, projects and field trips. Last summer, they collected alu-
minum tabs to donate to the Ronald McDonald House in Charleston.
Then, they went on a field trip to the facility, toured it and made the dona-
tion.
This group of wonderful ladies deserves to be “Chicks of the
Month” because of their hard work, their love for what they do and the

”
Christian atmosphere. They put on a magnificent Christmas program each positive influence they have on so many children.

If you would like to receive lunch courtesy of She Magazine and Chick-fil-A at the Magnolia Mall, Magnolia Mall Drive-In and Florence
Darlington Tech locations, send an e-mail telling us why your office or group should be Chicks of the Month to: editor@shemagazine.com
125 1/21/10 3:19 PM Page 1
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She Magazine • February 2010 • 125
Barbara Bennett & Lynda Grant
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126 1/28/10 9:19 AM Page 1

]É|Ç
She
M A G A Z I N E

as we host a

Utuç f{ÉãxÜ to benefit

W t à x M April 17th
g | Å x M 10am to 12pm
j { x Ü x M A CHOICE 2 M8K
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Suggested Items:
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127 1/22/10 12:47 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 127

Our academic programs

include high school se
e
diploma, GED, Work Keys Pom wha
iss t
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Please contact Marian Howard for more information

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128 1/26/10 3:21 PM Page 1

j{tà ÂfxtÄxw
à{x WxtÄÊ ã|à{
lÉâÜ `tÇR
Scarlett Howle Shamblin
florence
“So many things sealed the deal for me when I met my husband,
Rob. He was a breath of fresh air in my life. But, the one thing
that made me say to myself,‘Okay, this guy loves you’ was at din-
ner one night at The Grotto. I wasn’t aware that I was holding
my hand over the flame of the candle, and the residue from the
candle’s smoke had blackened a part of my left hand. He
noticed, took his linen napkin and dipped it in his glass of iced
water, took my hand and washed it. That sealed the deal!”

Grier Horstmann
florence
“Alan has always loved me
exactly the way I am –
fat/thin, happy/sad, deject-
ed/successful. He’s stood
by me through it all. He’s
my best friend, and that’s
what sealed the deal.”

Crystal Meier
hartsville
Tammy Epps
“My husband is awesome! When we first met, I was a divorced single hartsville
mom with two children. Walt and I worked together and were friends
at work. I learned that he, too, was divorced and raising two small
“What sealed the deal
girls on his own. I guess you can say I fell in love with my husband by
accident. I attended a work cookout, and he was there with his two with my man was when
girls, whom I fell in love with at first site. After that day, we began to he promised I would
make plans just to get our children together to go to the zoo and never have to cut my
things like that. One afternoon, we pulled into Chuck E. Cheese’s in own grass or use a
Pineville. No one was there. He looked at me and said, ‘I called
ahead.’ That afternoon, I watched him play and care for not only his power tool ever again!”
children but mine, as well, in a loving manner that most men know
nothing about. It was then that I knew I was in love with this man!
What sealed the deal? A pink diaper bag and love from the heart!”
129 1/27/10 11:13 AM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 129

South Carolina Dance Theatre presents

Dances, Dreams and Music

Join us for a special

children’s event
Saturday at 1:00pm
where we will be
performing
"The Gypsy Carnival."

Susan Rowe, March 12th (7:30 pm)

Artistic Director March 13th (7:30 pm)
March 14th (3:00 pm)

843-669-3991
Performances will be at the Florence Little Theater with live orchestral
accompaniment provided by the Florence Symphony Orchestra.
For ticket prices and performance times, visit sddancetheatre.org or email
scdancetheatre@gmail.com

So what if your heart’s desire doesn’t

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130 1/22/10 10:48 AM Page 1
131 1/27/10 1:31 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 131

Join us for our 2010 Open House Dates!

•Thursday, February 4, 2010, 9-11 AM (during the school day)
and 6-8 PM (evening event)•Sunday, March 7, 2010, 2-4 PM

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843-665-8758 843-676-2708
132 1/26/10 3:23 PM Page 1

fabulous finds
_Éäx
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Show your LOVE this
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fÑt fâztÜ VÉÄÉzÇx

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133 1/22/10 1:36 PM Page 1

Experience a realistic walk-through drama

about where you will spend
ETERNITY!

Marion Baptist Church

106 S. Main St. • Marion, SC
For reservations, call 843-423-9083.

February 13 • 14 • 20 • 21 • 27 • 28
Walk-ins welcome, however, reservations are recommended.
Children should be at least 10.
134 1/27/10 3:11 PM Page 1

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135 1/21/10 3:27 PM Page 1

She Magazine • February 2010 • 135

Business
Women
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136 1/22/10 12:25 PM Page 1

Who’s L O R
A Y
T MON S
That IT M
Girl?

and My
e Wo rd T h at Describes Me
O n
by TLC TERMINED
vo ri te So n g: “WATERFALLS” Personality: DE
ste r, My Fa
: P are n ts , K ing and Terry; Si ove & M e : “God grant m
e the
My Fam ily
o vi e s: Selena and L Words Th at In sp ire
ange;
Reghan; Brothe
r, Brandon My Fa vo ri te M
ac ce p t th e th ings I cannot ch
serenity to d wis-
o, but I’m
Basketball ch an ge th e things I can; an
n tly live in Pamplic courage to
My Hom e : I cu rre the difference.”
Hampton,Virgi
nia.
My BFF: Dorre
ll McNeil dom to know
originally from that no
would be . . . Ju
stice gh : Usually things
o High, Class of 2010 e t anyo n e , it What Mak e s M e L au
My School: Han
nah -P am plic If I could me funny
Thurgood Mar
shall. one else finds
sin,
My Accomplish
ments:
Scholar, le st Pe rs o n I Know: My cou
r So ci ety, James Otis uld go The Coo
Nation al H o n o
anyw h ere in the world, I wo L. Michael Jack
son
Varsity Cheerl
eader If I could go
ica
in to . . . South Afr
th e Fu tu re : I plan to major
r
My Dreams fo law sc hool with a co
n-
n at te n d
English and the .
ternational Law
centration in In
Glossy 137 1/25/10 3:18 PM Page 1

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Glossy 134 1/20/10 1:51 PM Page 1

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Glossy 135 1/20/10 1:55 PM Page 1

BREAK FREE FROM PAIN

PAIN MANAGEMENT
IS OUR SPECIALTY.

DR. JOSEPH CARTER

DR. STEPHEN TUEL

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3/10 of Mile past Celebration Blvd.