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Shannon Gallup
Ms. Gardner
English 10
4 May 2015
Untying the Knot
How is it that somebody can get married in Vegas in under four minutes, but have to wait,
on average, a year to get divorced? (Drive Thru Wedding). Weve all heard the statistic of a 50%
divorce rate in the U.S. (Somerville). Sadly, the emotional trauma of a family split and average
$27,000 worth of legal red tape (Somerville) are common for couples attempting to obtain a
divorce. For example, New York has a law that requires one partner to be responsible for the end
of the marriage that is trying to be done away with, which is referred to as fault divorce
(Hollander). Some judges have taken this to mean that they should judge whether or not the
marriage is irreversibly broken (Hollander). Divorce is traumatic enough by itself. Jumping
through these types of legal hoops causes people seeking to end a toxic or dysfunctional
relationship go through the complications of the legal system, which adds stress, takes up time,
and wastes money.
Those opposed to couples divorcing with ease often cite that divorce causes lifelong
emotional trauma to all parties involved, especially children. Daniel Wood, a reporter for The
Christian Science Monitor, states that the decline of the two-parent household bodes ill for
children because it leads to poor performance in school, lives of drug and crime, and having lifelong relationship issues. This sweeping overgeneralization excludes that these children might
already be at risk before their parents divorced-- perhaps the reason for the split was a risk factor,
such as an abusive or drug-ridden household. Sociologist Maggie Gallagher proposes that the

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time taken to obtain a divorce should be lengthened, and require classes on its effects on
surrounding family and friends: By slowing the process, educating the couples on the harmful
effects of divorce and providing them with skills to improve their relationships, reform could
save marriages and ensure that more children grow up in two-parent families (Willett). Just
because a family has two parents doesnt mean that its healthy for the children-- staying up late
listening to unhappy parents fight and yell is a rough environment to grow up in. We should trust
that couples would not make this decision lightly, and that they know what is best in their life,
for their children
Niether side of the argument wants higher divorce rates, but with divorce affecting nearly
half of American couples (Somerville), the demand for an easier, more humane way to split is
rising. In response, a new company Wevorce has been founded. The company has already helped
almost 300 families, with the goal to save families money and free the legal system to deal with
what they were meant to deal with--legal problems (Baverman). Wevorce reduces the waiting
time to under three months, and at $3,000 instead of the average $27,000 (Somerville). The law
cant litigate emotion for you, it just ends up sucking your dollars, argues Michelle Crosby, cofounder of Wevorce. By reducing the waiting time, they have kept couples in the grey area of
being split, but not divorced, as short as possible. So far, the program had received positive
reviews--By the time we were done, we were exhausted, but had a solid plan in place, says
Teskey, a recent customer of Wevorce (Somerville). Extending the waiting period, though it
might discourage couples from separating, has the equal potential to end up with people stuck in
unhappy marriages. The option of faster and easier divorces is kinder, more economical, and less
emotionally abusive.

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In places, the legal system complicates obtaining a divorce in the name of preventing
unnecessary an unnecessary split. In New York, fault divorce laws are still practiced, requiring
one person to claim responsibility for the marriage ending. While trying to end this, trial nofault divorce laws have been passed. Some judges have bent laws, interpreting them to mean
that they can call a trial to determine whether or not the marriage is irreversibly broken
(Hollander). If the judge rules that they are in need of an annulment, they are given one, but if
not, they are assigned therapy and classes to help them fix their relationship. This is a waste of
time for the couple, the court, and state, not to mention the money wasted in paying for lawyers,
judges, and courtroom staff. What a waste of the courts precious time to say Well gee, he left
his dirty socks on the floor No I didnt! says Marzano-Levesque, President of the American
Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. I dont know, it just doesnt seem very ethical to me
(Hollander). If a couple wants a divorce, it is wasteful and unethical for them to prove the need
for one, because doing so requires them to bare their private life to the courtroom (Hollander).
Though it might be in the name of preventing unnecessary divorces, laws clearly need to be
improved in order to prevent them from being unethically used.
Children, though proved to be affected by split households, would suffer greater harm
living in a dysfunctional household, which provides them with an unhealthy idea of what an
adult relationship looks like. If waiting period are extended, causing costs to go up, people who
cant afford to get divorced will be stuck in unhappy marriages. If the family split long-term,
children will hopefully have more peace, rather than being stuck in a violent or emotionally
scarring environment. A recent study from the National Institute of Mental Health shows that the
type of care children receive is more influential than the environment in which they receive it in
(Wood). Namely, a loving parent (or parents) is more important than the number of parents there

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to give it. If the caregivers are bitter, fighting, and unhappy, would not be able to devote the same
attention and energy into their offspring. Ultimately, when a household has become
unwelcoming, divorce can be a kinder option when children are involved.
By extending waiting periods and adding extra complications to the divorcing process,
the legal system is adding stress, time, and wasted money. Why should we condemn people
willing to change their life for the better by ridding themselves of a toxic marriage? When all's
said and done, when the kids are gone, nobody wants to be staring across the silent diner table
at a stranger (Schulte). People willing to recognize that they are unhappy, and do something
about it, should be helped to obtain their freedom. Drive through weddings, to pledge yourself to
another person for life, take under fifteen minutes, but to break that pledge can drag on for years
and years. We need a reform on what it takes to be legally divorced, making it kinder for all
parties-- children, couples, and family.

Works Cited

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Baverman, Laura. "Wevorce Aims to Bring Civility to Divorce." USA Today. USA Today,
01 Jan. 2015. Web. 10 May 2015.
"Drive Thru Wedding Ceremony at Wedding Bell Chapel, Pigeon Forge Tennessee TN."
Drive Thru Wedding Ceremony at Wedding Bell Chapel, Pigeon Forge Tennessee TN. N.p., n.d.
Web. 06 May 2015.
Hollander, Sophia. "(No) Fault Divorce: Divorces Drag On Even After Reform." Wall
Street Journal. 07 May 2012: A.19. SIRS Issues Researcher.Web. 22 Apr. 2015.
Schulte, Brigid. "Till Death Do Us Part? No Way. Gray Divorce on the Rise."
Washington Post. 08 Oct. 2014: n.p. SIRS Issues Researcher. Web. 22 Apr. 2015.
Somerville, Heather. "Startup Brings Peace to Divorce." San Jose Mercury News. 26
Nov. 2014: B.7. SIRS Issues Researcher. Web. 20 Apr. 2015.
Willett, Beverely. "Divorce Reform Would Benefit Marriage." Deseret News. 07 May
2014: n.p. SIRS Issues Researcher. Web. 21 Apr. 2015.
Wood, Daniel B. "Is Falling US Marriage Rate a Bad Thing? Some Find Positives..."
Christian Science Monitor. 14 Dec. 2011: n.p. SIRS Issues

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