So Paulo, January 20, 2015.

Greetings, Hamid my love.

I hope this letter finds you well. I remembered the old times and I
decided to write you this letter. I want you know a little of my life and my
thoughts and I want to know about you and your life little by little. I started
in the group in the end of November and you sent that picture of you with
your two friends. I thought Oh my god! This man is beautiful. So
beautiful I didnt guess we could start to talk. In December, you called
me in private chat and for two days long, you made me the same questions:
What is your name?, Are you single?, How old are you? Since then we
talk with each other, or rather, I try all the time to talk with you, understand
your words and to improve my English.
Unfortunately, we had our disagreements, as in the two nights you was
drunk and was talking many things, asking me to leave you alone. You could
not believe in me but I was very sad about what you said that week. I
remember you said you was sick. You said: Im sick. Leave me alone and
you sent me that weird picture of the thin sock* and of your male friends,
both strange to me. And things were going In my life I give it time and I
forget. We forget.
In the first Januarys Sunday I sent you a lot of messages because I
really needed to talk with you It is strange to say, but I have missed you. I
became sad for dont have a perfect English and cannot explain my feelings
in that Sunday afternoon. You explained me you had worked very much in
the weekend. I became sad but it gone. You made me forget.
I wanted your hug in the 01/15 when I received the news about my
friends death. She was my fathers stepdaughter. We grew up together, so
my consideration to her. Her death shocked me. She was murdered four
streets up her house and nobody knows the reason or the murderers.
Unfortunately, bad events are part of our life. Oftentimes I just want the
good events but things are not that way. I found odd you tell me anything.
Only after I ask you about what I wrote I got your answers. Oftentimes I
think I am writing very wrong to not have you answers.
The life has many surprises. In the 01/17 you sent me one message
saying you like me and Im your girlfriend, for dont let you sad. I almost
died! I felt the goose bumps. I wished thousand times you here for me to
give you a hug. Much times I said you that you are very beautiful to me
What happened to you like me? Im so normal, so simple.
I would say that I felt in love with your voice, your pictures, your funny
way of talk, and, mainly, when you sang Golshifte. Over many times I was
listening repeatedly you singing that little excerpt. Your voice is written
down in my mind.
I found this singer years ago because of a friend of mine. He posted on
Google Plus, I listened and I felt in love. However, I always liked this kind of
music. I love the way you speak both in Persian, in Turkish and Arabic. I am
delighted! Years before, in my youth, I participated in some meetings and

then I found the Iranian poetry. I think it was in 2003, I need to remember
the year rightly. I never thought that in 2014 I would found an Iranian man
who sings Golshifte. Wow. Can you imagine my happiness?
I like many stranger movies and I never watch Brazilian films. However,
I liked these movies and I hope you watch it too: Persepolis from France,
year 2007; Sukkar Banat / Caramel from Lebanon and in Arabic
alphabe; The Band, original tittle: Bikur Ha-Tizmoret, from Israel and the
classic Babel.
How can a man with medium level in english, beautiful and cool like
you could like me? That picture of a woman almost naked in your Instagram
is perfect! I dont have that shape and Im not even beautiful. What
happened, Hamid, to you like me? Will we meet each other one day? If
depend of my heart, yes we will.
I think about you every day and even more when I saw your picture
holding a board with my name. It is my phones wallpaper. All the time I look
to the screen when Im in my job. I think: Does all of this is real?
Your attitudes to me are beautiful. You could not believe but there was
things throughout my life that I have never had and in a short time you gave
it to me. I had three relationships and two was in the Orkut times (Here in
Brazil since 2006 no ones use this social media) and one in the facebook
times (I deleted my account for lack of patience). None of them put
something to indicate we were together and even their status was in serious
relationship. So you made me cry when I read in your instagram: Dbora Eu
Te Amo. I never had this throughout my life You maybe dont understand
it, but for me it was a great attitude, so beautiful and so perfect that worth
more than a thousand words.
Explaining better: Here in Brazil we put o Te with letter E from Eu
te amo, but in the speech (oral) we pronounce the letter I. Therefore we
speak Eu Ti Amo and write Eu Te amo. This is confusing.
I remember of one night you said me: Dbora. We need to have a
love. We need to be loved. Its really true. I didnt have good boyfriends.
None of them made me a birthday surprise or something romantic that I
could tell. All of them was complicated. Anyway I consider I have luck in
my personal life, my professional and academic life. Meantime I never had a
true love in my life, something strong, mutual. I believe this is the reason
Im in love with you. For my eyes, its all I never had.
It is the simple and needed things to make any lover laugh without
reason to remind of the loved one. You praises me so many times that some
times I want to say: you are blind! (hahaha I do not even seen me like you
tell how Im). My eyes are swollen all the time by the fact of I wake up at
06h15 every day and go to bed usually at 00h or 01h. Nevertheless I have
your sweet words. I dont know how you didnt rolled laughing with my weird
homemade video that I made trying to say my fatigue state but I forgot
everything in the moment. I told you and its true: I get goose bumps every
time I talk with you.
Do you remember when I ask you about your girlfriends? I just did that
because I think it is impossible a man beautiful as you to be alone. Why are
you alone? If you ask me this question, the list telling you all the reasons Im
alone would be giant.

I tried to ask you if you have many girlfriends in other countries. I

imagine you have many friends, it is what I tried to ask and I couldnt. I also
ask you, in the day you made that female voice, if you would like to be
woman and if you like to be a man. You started to talk about your male
organ and I did not understand anything. So I thought not to write many
things to avoid errors and disagreements.
I like you so much. I tell about you to two friends of mine and showed a
picture of you and they think it cant be real and you have a different sexual
opinion. Nevertheless, I try to believe in you and Im happy for you be part
of my lonely life now.
I like so much do walk and trails but during some years I did do
nothing, just living sad. Now I think that living alone is one thing and living
sad is one different thing. I preyed to GOD and it has passed one year that I
do therapy to change my thoughts. Moreover, for this reason I made a
routine: I never go home after I go out of work. In week I do stretching (2x),
running, Chinese class (Im on vacation yet), I go to church, dinner alone in
some place different, do English class (still in vacation). Only in Wednesday I
come home, some times, at 20h. In the others day I come home at 22h or
23h. So the swollen eyes. I do not sleep although I love to sleep.
I live in a simple way here in this great city of So Paulo, alone. My
mother has passed and my brother by father is married. My father left us
when I was 8 years old. He went to USA and left my mother, my brother and
me. He stayed 8 years outside Brazil, without help us. We lost our house
because, in this time, my mother could not pay the installment, it was too
expensive and we lived for 9 years in my grandparents house. My father
married in USA and had two daughters (I never seen them). I only
discovered it when I was 20 years old. I was hurt with my father. He came
back when I was 16 years old and I did want to talk with him, but my mother
insisted so much (she was a good person. She had no hurt of anyone). When
I was 21 years old, I started to talk with my father. He divorced and married
again here in Brazil and now I have 3 brothers. Seeing it, I never thought in
get married and to have a family, I always had fear and sadness to see that
my father never honored my mother. He never gave to me and to my
brother nothing. I had many difficulties in my life, a lot, but I will spare and
tell you in the future. So, since 2007 when my mother passed away, I live
with the help of GOD. he has given me strength every day.
My religion is Christian, so I only use skirt. You noticed my pictures. I
believe in god and in his son the Lord Jesus Christ. I have many faults and
errors, by I honor my doctrine and the mercy of GOD. I think very different
but I praise and honor GOD every day. I remember what you said: you dont
talk about religion or about your drawings. I will respect you. I just want to
tell you who I am.
In 01/19 I was so happy when you sent me you drawing by whatsapp. I
was very very happy. You never sent me your drawings. I think maybe you
trust me, or better, that your feelings are true.
I want to thank your patience with me and for be so adorable. I hope to
improve my English in six months, First to talk with you and last to my job,
because we have many international customers, from many different
countries, and with English I would grow up in my job and a get better wage.

Now, to finish (because if I could I would write and wirte and write) I
just wrote to you for you understand my life and because I want to know you
better. I want to talk with you about many things and not only about sex. I
hope you understand it. I want to be your friend, your girlfriend, your lover.
I miss you and I think so much in you. I dream with your hugs, your
body, I see your pictures before bedtime and I imagine how it would be
beside you. Unavoidable do not dream to be embraced with you, lay down in
your chest and hear you singing softly in my ears. It would be perfect,
romantic.
I imagine our conversations and you saying anything funny and
embracing me, kissing me lightly. The kiss that only the lovers can do
repeatedly, as in movies.
There is a Brazilian poet called Clarice Lispector who says: I thought in
you And only it gave me contentment. In other words: Just in fact of think
about you, it make me happy and improve my day. I ask the same way you
asked me: Do not let me sad. Do not let me alone.
I like a music from a Brazilian singer called Tim Maia that says: You are
everything to me. You are more than I Know. You are more than I expected,
baby. Im Happy. Dont, Dont go away. I will die if I miss you. Dont, dont go
away.
I had given up finding a love, a true love. However, now, I thing I found
it: Its you, Hamid. I love you and I miss you so much with all my heart.
Be with my tight hugs and affectionate and lengthy kisses on your
mouth.

With Love,
Dbora.

Wrote in 21/01/2015 at 10h35