Bee Thao

Sloan Hobbs
English 111 – 054
Paper#3: The Definition Argument

A Romantic Example of True Love

William Shakespeare’s The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet is a classic example of love at

first sight. However, there are also many sources that indicate that the relationship is an example

of true love. Romeo and Juliet’s amorous words for each other, as well as their disposition

toward one another’s actions, justify their relationship as an example of true love. True love is

an uncertain feeling that causes two people to be happy in each others’ company, as evident in

their expressions toward one another and the actions that they take to maintain the feeling of joy

and happiness. The relationship between Romeo and Juliet demonstrates the characteristics of

true love through the initial uncertainty of their emotions, the joy that they have together as well

as the sorrow they have when apart, and the actions that each takes to further their happiness.

It is most likely that everybody will experience true love some time in their life; since

nobody can tell when he or she will fall in love, there is an uncertainty about it. “True love is

everything. Certainty – but uncertainty”, or in other words, true love is an uncertainty of

emotions; such that people are uncertain about what they feel, but only certain that they feel

something (Caldwell). Romeo questions himself when he first sees Juliet, asking “Did my heart

love till now?” (Shakespeare 1.5.54). Through this chance encounter and the beginnings of true

love, Romeo questions everything that he has felt up to this point because of the uncertainty that

it creates in his life. Romeo mopes about prior to this meeting, being sick at heart because he is

“[o]ut of her favor where [he] is in love” (1.1.175), but the words exchanged with Juliet cast the

reality of this emotionally stimulating meeting into uncertainty. “O blessed, blessed night! I am
afeard,/ Being in night, all this is but a dream,/ Too flattering-sweet to be substantial” (2.2.139-

41).

Juliet also feels the uncertainty of emotion, which is a part of true love. When upon the

balcony, she contemplates the night’s dilemma with a monologue:

‘Tis but thy name that is my enemy./ Thou art thyself, though not a Montague./ What’s

Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot,/ Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part/ Belonging to a

man. O, be some other name!/ What’s in a name? That which we call a rose/ By any

other name would smell as sweet. (2.2.38-44)

Within this monologue, Juliet struggles with the thought of loving a hated enemy, which is the

epitome of confusion. However, she realizes more quickly than Romeo that they have fallen in

love with each other; more quickly that it is true love, as evident in this quote, “[T]hou

overheard’st, ere I was ware,/ My true-love passion” (2.2.103-4). There is nothing flippant in the

way Juliet loves Romeo after she overcomes the uncertainty of emotions created by true love.

When both Romeo and Juliet realize the simple fact that they are in love, they assume the

characteristic joy in the company of a lover and the sorrow that comes with parting, such that

true love is a feeling of pre happiness when two lovers are together. “[L]overs have a strong

desire to be together so that they can continue to enjoy the pleasure of love” (DeGenova and

Rice 122). Romeo and Juliet exemplify this characteristic with this quote, “Parting is such sweet

sorrow,/ That I shall say good night till it be morrow” (2.2.186-7). They part company only for

the chance to be able to return again to each other with even greater joy at their next meeting.

However, when it seems that they may never see each other again, both are grieved to the point

of attempting suicide. Romeo’s opinion of such a predicament is this, “Be merciful, say ‘death’;/

For exile hath more terror in his look,/ Much more than death” (3.3.12-3). For these two lovers,
to be banished from the presence of one’s lover is a fate worse than death. To Romeo, there is

no life without Juliet, only sorrow and eternal misery. Likewise, Juliet echoes the remark, “For

who is living, if [Romeo is] gone?” (3.2.88). It is no wonder that they prefer to be in each

other’s company and have the joy and happiness that is resultant of it. “The lovers are in a

wildly emotional state, seesawing between bliss and despair. They are obsessed with their loved

one […]” such that Romeo and Juliet would die if parted from one another (DeGenova and Rice

122).

True love is also a feeling that causes lovers to further their joy and pleasure in one

another’s company. As an example of true love, Romeo and Juliet each try to further their love

and happiness that they have with each other by taking certain actions. “[L]ove reflects unselfish

concern for the well-being of another […] the active concern for the life and growth of that

which [he or she] love[s]” (DeGenova and Rice 127). Romeo and Juliet each try to create a

mutually fulfilling relationship, which, according to DeGenova and Rice, creates “a strong sense

of joy, exhilaration, and well-being” (122). Juliet, for fear of a poor relationship, cautions

Romeo in the following manner:

O, swear not by the moon, th’ inconstant moon,/ That monthly changes in her circled

orb,/ Lest that thy love prove likewise variable./ […]/ Do not swear at all;/ Or if thou

wilt, swear by thy gracious self,/ Which is the god of my idolatry,/ And I’ll believe thee./

[…]/ Well, do not swear. (2.2.109-116)

She continues in advising Romeo that if they move into the relationship too quickly, it will spoil.

Rather, they should wait a while longer so that their love may be as true and pure as possible,

thereby creating a more joyful relationship. And that their relationship may be mutually

fulfilling, Romeo urges “[the] exchange of […] love’s faithful vow[s]” to obtain the only
satisfaction that matters at that moment (2.2.127). They also undergo the rituals of marriage and

fulfill their Christian duties, for “neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman

without the man, in the Lord” (1 Cor. 11:11). Such rituals act as public displays of love and

affection. Romeo also undertakes more immense actions after he inadvertently kills Juliet’s

cousin. In order to maintain their relationship, Romeo dons the guise of death by complying

with the decree of banishment. In leaving Juliet, Romeo gives his own life instead of causing

Juliet greater grief. Had he stayed in Verona and been executed, it would have caused Juliet to

commit suicide. The Holy Bible states that “[g]reater love hath no man than this, that a man lay

down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). Romeo has done just that for his greatest friend,

Juliet. He would rather have died for Juliet than to be exiled, saying to her “Let me be ta’en, let

me be put to death./ I am content, so thou wilt have it so” (3.5.17-8). Juliet has done the same,

because in taking Romeo’s name as her own, she grieves the death of her cousin at Romeo’s

hand, but she must also leave her past behind and pray for the life of her husband above all else.

DeGenova and Rice remark that “[w]hile romance may exist without friendship, love becomes

more complete and enduring with it” (127). Such are the actions of friends who are also lovers.

Romeo and Juliet exhibit all the characteristics of true love. Their uncertainty in love

brings about certainty of joy and happiness in each other’s company. They give themselves to

each other freely, in sacrificing their names if need be. Romeo and Juliet are friends that would

die for each other and they prove that in the final scene. They live to further their mutual

happiness, joy, and love through their marriage and their self-sacrifice. Romeo and Juliet is a

prime example of true love, a “profoundly tender [and] passionate affection for another person”,

which fosters a “sense of devotion and willingness to serve and sacrifice” for that person

(DeGenova and Rice 121-2).

 Works Cited

Caldwell, Tyereki. Telephone Interview. 30 Oct 2001.

DeGenova, Mary Kay and F. Philip Rice. Intimate Relationships, Marriages, & Families. 5th

ed. Boston: McGraw-Hill, 2002.

The Holy Bible. Authorized King James Version. Salt Lake City: Church of Jesus Christ of

Later-Day Saints, 1989.

Shakespeare, William. The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet. Ed. George Lyman Kittredge.

Boston: Ginn and Company, 1940.