I don't care about Wayne Newton's demographics.

Criss Angel

$2,319,430.79

VOLUME FOUR

I S S U E 25

0 6 . 1 8 .15

Returns to
the Phoenix Saloon
on June 26!
All Profits Benefit

Park for All-Abilities

Don't Miss it - Last Year's Show SOLD OUT

Nick Rogers Interviews Lark Mason, that Bow-Tie Wearing Guy from Antiques Roadshow

P L U S : 7 D AY N E W B R A U N F E L S L I V E M U S I C G U I D E

The Texas National Frito-Pie Eating Championships!

Friday, June 26 @ 7 pm at

Space is Limited. Contestants MUST Register Between 6 and 6:45pm on Day of Event

830.358.2493

of

contents

1st Word

Big Gay Sunday on

the Plaza

PHOTO CREDIT
Cover
Courtney Campbell
sparxphotography.com

Due Process

STAFF / CONTACT
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief Mike Reynolds
Director of Distribution Chase Cochran
Art Director Kayla Wallace
Editorial: news@txcitizen.com
Advertising: sales@txcitizen.com
Distribution: distribution@txcitizen.com

City Hall Attempts to Walk

Away from Towing Fiasco

All original content is copyright

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every Thursday.

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TX CITIZEN
1111 N. Walnut Avenue
New Braunfels, TX 78130
830.358.2493

table

On Occasion

A Farberer Fathers Day!

Feature Story
Lark Mason has come to town,
and we got the inter view!

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Get to Know Your

City Council

WITH

Then we kept thinking,

and it occurred to us that
nows a good a time as any
to breakdown your City
Council demographics. After
all, you should know your
civic masters. An informed
electorate and whatnot. Here
goes. Each Councilmember represents
about 14.2857143% of the whole bunch of
them. We rounded up.

MIKE
REYNOLDS

On June 13, a bunch of folks

gathered at the downtown
gazebo in support of something
they called Gods Marriage,
which they define as a union
between 1 Man + 1 Woman.
While very big on rules that apply to other
people, this group went ahead and hung a
banner on the gazebo to promote their political
position, even though thats a strict no-no.

New Braunfels City Council

Demographic Breakdown
28.6% Female
71.5% Male

Naturally, the local gay coalition mobilized,

and the next day a whole pack of (mostly)
lesbians hit the plaza with fun signs made with
glitter and rainbows and whatnot, in support of
something they call Marriage Equality. The
fact that the original demonstration was quite
obviously directed at local polygamists was
apparently lost on the gay.
Anyway, City Councils entire Q
contingent was on hand, as District Two
Councillesbian Aja Edwards, who put the
event together, and District Four Councilgay
Chris Monceballez both came out to hold
signs and look good doing it.

28.6% Gay
71.5% Probably Not Gay
14.3% Jewish
14.3% Bald/Mostly Bald
14.3% Full Cowboy Hat Wearing Texan
85.7% Shill for Chamber of Commerce/4-B
57.2% Brain Damaged
42.9% Delusional
28.6% Clueless
42.9% Old
14.3% Midget
57.2% Narcissist
14.3% Sideshow Freak

TXCITIZEN.COM

\m/
Mike Reynolds
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

Chase Cochran contributed to this column, and should

be named as a co-defendant in any litigation filed as a
result of its publication.

am
ce Cre rg!
I
r
u
O
cksbu
i

Freder
is from

Store Hours

Tues - Fri: 11 to 6
Sat: 10 to 3
Sun & Mon: Closed

Duckys

Union St
Union St
Station

283 S Union St
512.757.7846
foreverdancenb.com

14.3% African-American
14.3% Latino
71.5% Caucasian (Comprehensive data
not available. Unclear how many of this
group actually identify as African-American.)

That ought to hold you for a while. Next

week were going to have a lil sumpin that
just might make your blood boil.
This got us to thinking. At the rate gays
are being elected to City Council, theyll wield
a majority in just three years. We imagine
New Braunfels becoming a Mecca for HomoTourism, which would result in cleaner bars,
better restaurants, and shirtless firefighters.
Dont knock that.

DONT PANIC!

SUMMER
HOURS:
Mon, Thur, Fri, Sat
11:30-7
Sunday 11:30-4
Closed Tues & Weds

Duckys

E. San Antonio St

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teamwear
shoes
accessories
gifts
& more!

E. San Antonio St

1 WORD

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Union St
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Station

283 South Un ion St

979.450.6473
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SumMertime and the living is easy. Or at least

it should be. So were going to make it a litTle
easier for you. A glasS of wine in the evening
sure makes it feEl easier for me, but every now
and again, the evening just doesn't come soOn
enough, and the only cure for the
sumMertime blues is a daytime glasS of
Longshot wine. This is the precise
reason we have decided to extend our
sumMertime hours. Were now open during
the day to satisfy alL of your wine
tasting neEds. So round up a friend or a
few, and stop by to quench your daytime
thirst for wine and sangria. I consider
myself an expert in the field of taking
it easy. And my expert opinion is that we
would love to seE you at any time of day.
- Josh McFarling

133 Landa StreEt

(Across the street from the Landmark)

830.837.5667

HOURS:

Tues-Thurs: 12-10pm
Fri: 12-11pm Sat: 10-11pm
Sun: 10am-4pm
(Brunch: 10am-2pm)
3

Due Process

The Texas National

Cheese Chocolate Wine

Frito-Pie Eating
WITH NICK ROGERS Championships!

UPDATE: Towing Case

The Third Court of Appeals is not the proper

venue to dismiss a lawsuit against the City of
New Braunfels, argue three towing companies
who filed suit against the City two years ago.
Attorneys for Comal Towing, JJ Towing
and Pro Care Wrecker Service filed their
response to the Citys motion asking the
Appeals Court to dismiss the case as moot.
The suit was brought by the three
towing operators in response to the Citys
2012 decision to change the way it rewards
non-consent towing operations within New
Braunfels. Prior to that decision, several
towing companies shared those duties on a
rotating basis. The City decided to alter that
arrangement by awarding a contract to only
one company. Late into the decision-making
process, however, City Council decided to
award contracts to four companies instead.
The companies who sued the City said
they did not apply for the single contract
because it would be too onerous to be the
only towing company responsible for all nonconsent tows. The crux of their argument is
that Council violated competitive bidding
laws by not notifying them that it had
altered the system to allow four companies,
especially since some of the companies did
not meet the Citys minimum criteria set down
in its Request for Proposals. As well, the
companies argued that Council violated the
Texas Open Meetings Act (TOMA).
While the case has lingered without a
ruling within the Court of Appeals for more than
a year, the towing contracts at issue expired on
December 31. The City argued that since the
previous towing contracts had expired, and
since the City decided on May 1 that it will
return to a rotation schedule, the point of the
suit is now moot and should be dismissed.
Since the three companies were not
asking for financial relief, but only that the City
void the offensive system and reissue bids, the
City said in its motion to Appeals that the relief
sought is to prevent and control future action,
not for anything allegedly lost in the past. The
future action is now dictated by the ordinance
4

which moots their claims for allegedly not

following competitive bidding requirements.
However, the towing operators argue
that since the Citys appeal regards a
jurisdictional ruling, the Third Court of
Appeals cannot dismiss the case.
This interlocutory appeal was initiated
by appellants (the City) after the trial court
denied appellants plea to the jurisdiction,
the companies argue. Because the plea was
denied, appellees could proceed to trial on
their various claims against appellants.
After Comal Towing, JJ Towing and Pro Care
Wrecker Service filed their lawsuit in 2013, the
City argued that the court had no jurisdiction to
hear the lawsuit against it. However, Judge Dib
Waldrip disagreed and ruled that the court was
the only proper venue for relief. City Council
voted to appeal Waldrips ruling.
In the response, the three towing operators
argue that Appeals can certainly dismiss the
jurisdictional appeal, but only the trial court
can dismiss the case itself. Any resulting final
judgment must be issued from the trial court as
it is the court with continuing jurisdiction over
appellees claims, they argue.
To buffet their claim, attorneys for the
operators quoted the Texas Rules of Appeals:
While an appeal from an interlocutory
order is pending, the trial court retains
jurisdiction of the case.
The towing operators sought no financial
relief in the lawsuit but only that the City end
the non-consent towing practice that prompted
the suit, and allow all operators to resubmit
bids for the contracts. However, while the
practice is no longer in place, this is only
because the contracts had expired and not
because the City had canceled the process.
In the meantime, the towing operators
have been wracking up thousands of dollars
in legal fees, which will certainly be a point
of contention for the three operators.
Appellees also request that the Court
grant them such other and further relief to
which they may be justly and equitably
entitled, they state in their response motion.

Nick Rogers covers courts & crime for the TX Citizen.

Thank you for voting ours the

Best Grilled Cheese Sandwich

in this year's readers poll.
Now bring your friends in to try it!
Chef Stephanie

Friday, June 26
7 pm at
Part of Midway Madness to Benefit
Callen's Castle and NB Puppy Playland!
Space is Limited.
Contestants MUST Register Between
6 and 6:45pm on Day of Event

Winner!

Brazenly sponsored by

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SPONSORED BY

BUY SELL TRADE

PRESENTED AND HOSTED BY COURTYARD MARRIOTT

New Braunfels Vinyl Record Show

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TXCITIZEN.COM

On Occasion $

Fathers Day

During the time period in which I grew up,

I lived in what was considered a traditional
household. I had five siblings, a tired mother,
and a father who worked a blue collar job in
a non-descript factory that made non-descript
whatchamadoodles. He had also fought in two
wars. When I asked him what he did during
the wars, he would only say, Shot people.
Like many fathers for the time, my dad
was the silent type who usually only spoke in
barely audible mutterings punctuated by the
occasional curse word. None of us were ever
quite sure who he was talking to. Some theories
posited said Dad was talking to ghosts, others
said it was to various Gods of Labor, still others
believed he had an imaginary friend whom he
didnt get on so well with.
As it usually goes with silent fathers, my
dad was not the kind of guy to tell his sons he
loved them, although he would tell my sisters.
Often people of my age will note that
their parents never said, I love you. These
statements are usually followed with, But I
knew that they loved me.
However, it must be explained that some
parents never tell their kids they love them
because the parents are ########. Others
just have difficulty expressing feelings.
Luckily, though, Dad was very
affectionate, the type who would pat your
head and smile when you came into the room.
This was fairly normal for the era. Males
usually didnt tell other males they loved
them unless they were drunk. This wasnt
because saying I love you was effeminate,
but because it was, well, awkward. In fact,
the only man I knew who would tell other
males he loved them was the creepy priest
who would too quickly volunteer to lead the
schools sports teams in prayer. He always
showed up to the locker rooms uncomfortably
early and would leave way too late.
But, I digress.
Dad did try once to verbally express his
feelings for me and my brothers.
He had taken the whole family camping.
His goal was to hunt for our food and do the
caveman thing. Dads ideas of hunting were,
frankly, strange. He believed in hunting like
our forefathers did by throwing rocks at the
animals. Fortunately, mom understood her
husband and brought along enough food to
sustain us because, as she expressly stated,
she had no intention in cooking possums and
other vermin too slow or ill to get away.
6

with Ed Farberer

We ate our ration of beans and eggs

silently around the campfire. Dad was acting
nervous and agitated, as if he wanted to crawl
away. He broke the silence by clearing his
throat. We all looked at him through the fire.
I just wanted you all to know, umm, that
I, you know, love you all.
Everything stopped. Even the fire
stopped crackling.
Did you guys hear what I said? he
asked. I love you.
We were stunned. We all thought this
was his way of telling us that he was going
to die and that the camping trip was one last
Farberer outing. We all started to cry.
Dad looked confused. What the hell, he
said. I just wanted to tell you that I love you.
We began to wail.
Stop it Stan, Mom said. Youre
scaring the children.
He went back to muttering to himself. We
sighed with relief because we were back in
familiar territory. Mom said Dads awkward
moment was the result of his following advice
from that damn Readers Digest.
That magazine gave your father all
kinds of strange ideas, she said.
Lord, how times have changed. I often
tell my sons and daughters that I love them,
particularly if they are with a group of friends,
which maximizes their embarrassment.
But despite my fathers verbal
affection issues, my siblings and I grew
up fine and dandy:
After joining a hippy terrorist group in
the 60s, brother Stan Jr. went on to become
a CEO of a major American bank whose
failure helped catapult the global economic
collapse of 2008.
Sister Nancy realized her dream of
becoming a bare-knuckles fighter at the
docks for tips.
My brother Randy founded a religious
commune for people who believe Jesus was
actually a space robot. He now goes by the
name of Rain Cloud Wolf Tree, or whatever.
Another sister, Karen, is a dictator of a
small African nation.
And then there is Todd, leader of the
Farberer crime syndicate.
As you can see, we all grew up
winners and leaders. Yes, we are weird and
dangerous, but you cant argue with success.
For Dad, then, I want to say Happy
Fathers Day and mumble mutter hells
bells mutter mumble.

LONE STAR &

LONE STAR LIGHT!

ALL DAY,
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HAPPY COW
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&

G R I L L

Thursday
Cow-E-Oke

Friday

Two Rivers Trio

Saturday

MAY 30 9 PM

Belt Sander Racing

followed by
Sabine River Brass Band

Sunday

T-Bone and the Blue Tones

Kitchen Hours

11-2 & 5:30-10pm Mon-Thurs

11-10pm Fri-Sun
9103 FM 1102
San Braunfels (Hunter, TX)
512.667.7510
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AD SALES 830.358.2493

Lark2
By Nick Rogers

TXCITIZEN.COM

If you watch Antiques Roadshow, then you recognize Lark

Mason as the bowtie-clad expert on Asian art. If you do not
watch Antiques Roadshow, then Lark Mason is the bowtieclad expert on Asian art.
More than that, though, Lark Mason is the Big Kahuna
of antiques. He has worked for Sothebys and with several
museums. Lark is also the founder of iGavelauctions.com,
an extremely successful online auction house, and owns Lark
Mason Associates, a firm that advises, evaluates and does
consignments for those who wish to buy and/or sell antiques.
Mason already has an office in New York and now he
will have a presence in New Braunfels, as well.
New York is far away and so many of the things we
encounter are not in New York or the North East, but are in
the Central, South or West Coast of the United States, so this
provides us a base from which we can operate, he said.
Of course, having children and grandchildren
in Texas is also a motivating factor for Lark and Erica
Mason, his wife and partner. In fact, a warehouse and
processing center has been built on his sons property near
Canyon Lake. Already, staff members are processing,
photographing and cataloging materials.
On top of everything else, we think New Braunfels is a
beautiful location and we love Texas, he said. Our goal is
to spend about half our time here and half our time in New
York, maybe even a little more time here.
Dont misunderstand, though. The Masons New
Braunfels office is not a shop, but a location to meet with
private clients within a converted 19th century barn.
As an adviser, I will give options on where someone can
sell something that may not be through my company, Lark
said. It may not even involve selling, but valuing something.
Although not an antiques shop, there was some third
century Korean pottery there from a client who wanted
to sell. If you didnt know better, which I dont, you could
assume that the rustic-looking pottery was Native American
in origin. The pottery, Lark explained, was used for storing
and washing rice. There was even a small cup with a handle
that he said was used for scooping and measuring the rice.
One of the most important factors in understanding
antiques, he said, is to ask why someone would have created
a particular object. This isnt always easy. Many of us have
certainly browsed through an antique shop and found some
weirdness that cannot be explained.
Its exciting for me when I run across something that is
a puzzle, Lark said. I try to put myself in the shoes of the
person who created it and the time when it was created.
I try to recreate the process and the inspiration, and the
situation that existed that allowed the object to be created.
People didnt just spontaneously say, Im going to create
this thing. There is a thought process experts go through
when we try to decide whether something is original to the
period or a later version. A lot of what I do is involved in
that kind of discernment.
Sometimes you still dont get the answer and it
remains a puzzle, he said.

Regardless of era, the motive for creation has always

been the same: to provide a function. Certainly some of
objects are more beautiful than others, but they all were
developed for a purpose, such as porcelain.
Lark explained how the development of porcelain in
China took hundreds of years, coming into fruition in the
11th and 12th centuries. The reason for porcelain, he said,
was that it was useful for creating miniature versions of
a deceaseds favorite people, animals and things. These
would be buried with the person so that the essence of the
items could travel into the next the world. (This was certainly
preferable to the previous method of burying servants and
wives alive). When the West was able to successfully
produce porcelain itself by the 18th century, it did so not
only because of its beauty, but because of the superior
quality over what came before.
At the time, the value of porcelain wasnt far removed
from the value of gold because you had something that was
beautiful and durable, as opposed to using pewter dishes and
earthenware containers that would break and chip, Lark said.
Of course, where there is value there are fakes, and
one of the roles of the expert is to separate the gems from the
detritus. For a variety of reasons, determining fakes is not cut
and dry. There are fakes (which are meant to deceive), there
are copies (which artists may do to learn from the masters)
and there are pieces which pay homage to an earlier creator.
The latter is especially true in Asia, Lark explained, where
artisans would copy a piece and sign it with the original
creators name, an honorific mark, as a sign of respect.
Lark said that to judge whether something is real goes
back to the expert trying to get into the artisans head.
On one level you could have something that looks the
same, but the materials are not the same, he said. The way
you discern that is by going back to asking how it was made
or if it was made the same way. Or the materials are a little
bit more refined than the original materials. Or, the density
is different than in the original. A lot of times, fakes are
copied from an image, so such things as volume or weight
are not captured. An object thus might not make sense from
a utility standpoint. Thats why its important to go back and
put yourself in the place of the person who created and
designed the object and ask, Why would someone design
something with such and obvious flaw? If you dont get a
good answer, thats when the red flag goes up.
Lark has some valuable advice for those wishing to
begin collecting:
First of all, youve got to have some sort of interest in
the area you want to be involved in because if you dont
have interest, youre not going to do whats necessary to find
the right specialist, the right sources to get the best quality
items. Seek out the top advice and get the best objects one
can afford to get.

To make appointments or to contact Lark, go to larkmason.com or

larkmasonassociates.com. If you are interested in owning something from
antiquity, make a visit to igavelauctions.com.
7

UID
G
C
I
S
U
EM

Thu 6.18
Adobe Verde
Josh Holden
6pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Jam Night
6pm

Phoenix Saloon
Ethan Ford
5pm

Rileys Tavern
Big Red Drum Showcase
9pm

AJs Ale House

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm

Billys Ice House

Artist Showcase
8pm

Concerts in the Park

Uprizing
7:30pm

Gruene Hall
The Damn Quails
7pm

Hippy Gypsy

On the Rocks

V
YOUR LI

AJs Ale House

The Happy Cow

Say Yes, Juliet

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show

Sabine River Brass Band

8pm

9pm

8pm

The Pour Haus

Cody Coggins
8pm

Fri 6.19
Adobe Verde
JJ Garrett Band
6:30pm

The Happy Cow

Two Rivers Trio
8pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Slim Bawb & the Fabulous Stumpgrinders
6pm

Phoenix Saloon
Junior Nash
5pm
The Canvas People
9pm

Rileys Tavern
Andrea Marie & The Magnolia Band
9pm

Watering Hole Saloon

Alpine Haus Restaurant

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Off the Grid Polka Band

The String Slingers

6pm

1pm

Billys Ice House

Jordan York
8pm

Gruene Hall
Cory Morrow
w/ Strangetowne
7pm, $25

On the Rocks
Devils Hollow
8:30pm

The Pour Haus

Mark Monaco
9pm

River Road Ice House

The Black Lillies
8pm

Vineyard at Gruene
Jacob Clark
7pm

Sat 6.20
Adobe Verde

Kim & Her Bad Habits

6pm

Phoenix Saloon
Dad Daze of Summer
Dad Religion
w/ Bird Dog, The Kinfolk
9pm

Rileys Tavern
Roy Heinrich & the Pickups
9pm

Watering Hole Saloon

Clif & the Dirt Road Band
9pm

AJs Ale House

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm

Billys Ice House

Jamie Talbert & the Band of Demons
8pm

Gruene Hall
Chubby Knuckle Choir
1pm
Cory Morrow

The Groovehounds

Rebels of Texas

Free Marie

w/ Crooks

6pm

7pm

6:30pm

8pm, $25

AD SALES 830.358.2493

NB Farm to Market

Billys Ice House

Billys Ice House

Dan McCoy

Good Fest 2015

Austin Gilliam

9am

See Ad in This Issue!

8pm

2pm

On the Rocks

Geronimo VFW #8456

Jennifer B & the Groove

8:30pm

The Pour Haus

Tony Taylor
Dirty White Horse
9pm

Vineyard at Gruene
Billy Snipes

The Happy Cow

3pm

T Bone & the Blue Tones

4pm

Mon 6.22

Lone Star Float House

Matt Skinner
7pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

James Pardo
3pm
Lucas Taylor
7pm

Rileys Tavern

7:30pm

8:30pm

6pm

Phoenix Saloon

12:30pm

The Vagabonds

Trace Owen Jr

6pm

Two Ton Tuesday

4:30pm

Adobe Verde

Gruene Hall

Robyn Ludwick Band

Jackson Parten

Sun 6.21

SA Blues Cats

6pm

The Pour Haus

7pm

1pm

3pm

5pm

Hayden Huse

Monty Guitar Tyler Band

w/ Sam Harriss

Danny Brooks

Vineyard at Gruene

Smooth Jazz

Sam Bentley

Gruene Hall

5:30pm

Bonzai Steak & Sushi

Gruene Hall

The Pour Haus

Open Mic
w/ Jon Magill
8pm

Wed 6.24
Phoenix Saloon
Paul Nipper
8:30pm

Rileys Tavern
Mike Ethan Messick
9pm

Billys Ice House

Warren Hood Band

Kelley Mickwee Band

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Gruene Hall

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9pm

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10pm, $10
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Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

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7pm, 18+, $25-$30

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MOS T WAN T ED Freeman

COMAL COUNTYS
DELACRUZ,
ADAM

Male 601 160 lbs

DOB: 11/04/1974
CHARGE: Motion to
revoke probationpossession controlled
substance

MARIN, ROBERT
SANCHEZ
Male 509 175 lbs
DOB: 12/14/1982
CHARGE: Theft of
property over $1500
under $20,000
enhanced

DIXON,
MEDELLIN, JESSE
MEJIA,
RODRIGUEZ
ROMAN
DAVID
MARCO FABIAN
Male 507 200 lbs
Male 601 140 lbs
DOB: 01/01/1976
Male 506 210 lbs
DOB:
01/25/1973
CHARGE:
Possession
DOB: 03/07/1984
CHARGE:
Failure to
of a controlled
CHARGE:
Forgery
appearburglary
of
substance
pg 1 under
1
gram
and
theft
of
government
instrument
a building and bail
property under
jumping/
fail to $1500
with 2 or more
appear
previous convictions

FRIESENHAHN,
RALPH ALFRED
Male 600 220 lbs
DOB: 07/14/1952
CHARGE: Driving
while intoxicated 3rd
or more

Male 506 180 lbs

DOB: 05/02/1971
CHARGE: Driving
while intoxicated 3rd
or more and evading
arrest or detention
with vehicle

GARZA,
ARNULFO ELI II

SCHEFFLER,
GLYNN GARY

Male 511 205 lbs

DOB: 11/26/1973
CHARGE: Theft of
property over $1500
under $20,000

KILGORE,
JOSHUA GRAHAM
Male 600 172 lbs
DOB: 08/20/1993
CHARGE: Failure to
appear- burglary of
habitation and credit
card or debit card
abuse

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Male 600 180 lbs

DOB: 08/27/1957
CHARGE: Violation of
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VALDEZ,
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Female 504 200 lbs
DOB: 08/31/1974
CHARGE: Two
charges of theft of
property under $1500
with two or more
previous convictions

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL

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read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County
Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant
prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

TXCITIZEN.COM

on Sports WITH BRANT FREEMAN

Double Championship Week

In which sport is it toughest to win a title?

Its trophy week for two of pro sports Big 4: Consider that in the NFL, seven of the last 15
the NHL and the NBA. Two leagues who each Super Bowl winners were Wild Card teams,
play 82 game regular seasons, who each send
16 teams to the playoffs, every round decided
in a best-of-seven format, each sport featuring
a net for a goal. The Chicago Blackhawks of
the NHL have already claimed hockeys Holy
Grail (the Stanley Cup), beating Tampa Bay on
Monday night to win the series in six games.
The NBA Finals were decided Tuesday, with
Golden State taking home the title.
This is to say its a damn fun week as
the next several will be filled with hype and
speculation (football), dog days of summer
(baseball), and roster overhaul (basketball).
Aside from the Womens World Cup (which is

teams that didnt have great regular seasons

but got hot at the right time. The best teams

dont always win (such as the 9-7 Giants

slaying the 16-0 Patriots in 2007), and the

unpredictability of the NFL is what makes it

so great. In MLB, there were seven different

champions in the first seven years after the turn

of the century, leading us to believe there was
just as much parity on the diamond as there

was on the gridiron. In the seven seasons since,

two teams have accounted for five titles (Boston

and San Francisco) and last years Giants

won a pedestrian 88 games in the regular

season. The 2001 Seattle Mariners won 28

more games than the 2014 Giants and didnt

the Americans to win), the next major hardware even reach the World Series. Just reaching the
in professional team sports wont be awarded playoffs makes a team a contender in baseball.
until November (to the winner of the World

In hockey, top seeds routinely get upset and

Series). So with trophies on the brain for the time from 2000 to 2012 (barring the 2005 lockout)
being, lets look at each of the four major sports there were 10 different champions making
and its champions since the year 2000.

Chicagos recent run that much more impressive.

In the NFL, nine teams have hoisted

So of the four major sports, the toughest

the Lombardi Trophy since the turn of the

to win a title in is the NBA. You HAVE to have

millennium, none more than the New England

the absolute best players to reach the top of

Patriots who have won four Super Bowls the mountain as parity is virtually non-existent
during that timeframe (no one else has won in pro basketball. Since the year 2000, 13 of

more than two). In the NBA, there have only the previous 15 NBA Finals have been won
been seven teams to win a title since 2000 by either Shaquille ONeal, Tim Duncan, Kobe

and that includes either Golden State (whose Bryant, Dwayne Wade or LeBron James. Thats
previous and only other title came in 1975) it. 15 NBA Finals, and if you didnt have one
or Cleveland (which had never won an NBA

of those FIVE players, odds are you didnt hang

title before). The Larry OBrien leaderboard is a banner in the rafters the following season.
Enjoy watching the champagne popping
topped by the Los Angeles Lakers (Five titles)
followed by the San Antonio Spurs (with four) and the parades this week, especially if you
and the Miami Heat (with three). In baseball, happen to be a fan of the team basking in

like football, there have been nine franchises championship glory. As you can see, those
celebrations can be few and far between.
that have won championships led by Boston
and San Francisco who have three each. The
NHL has had the highest number of champions
since the year 2000 (with 10) and Chicago
has more than any other team, skating around
the ice with Lord Stanleys Cup three times.

Brant Freeman is a seasoned local sportscaster,

serving as the radio voice of Texas State University,
hosting television coverage of Texas State Athletics and
delivering the goods as a reporter for major pro and
collegiate sporting events in the greater San Antonio
area for over a decade.
11

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ASK A MEXICAN!

LIVE MUSIC

Tuesdays @ 7
Fridays @ 8
Saturdays @ 9

Saturday,
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Dine & Dance Benefit @ 5
for Lori Castilleja Courtney
BBQ Plates, Silent Auction
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& Monte Good @ 9
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Like us on FB Watering Hole Saloon & Dancehall

Dear Mexican: Im not sure if this is

solely an Orange County thing, but as a
high school student in SanTana, I cant
help but realize that the great majority
of rockabilly kids are Mexican. Why is
this? Werent the 40s and 50s kind of a
bad time for Mexicans?
Chicana con Ganas
Dear Motivated Chicana: Yes y no.
While

Mexican-American

activists

were

fighting for civil rights through lawsuits and

voter registration drives, the young people
were getting into cars, rock n roll and r

be a Mexican consenting to go out of

their way to do a favor, especially for
a gabacho, instead of being assertive
and saying No puedo or Im too
busy to help. Another example would
be a Mexican (legal or otherwise)
never questioning a boss request,
although a work situation is definitely
a different story. As far as you know,
is there any truth to Mexicans, or
Latino people in general, not feeling
comfortable being assertive?
Mijitos Padre aka Mipadres jito
Dear Father of a Son aka My Dads Son:

n b, and changing their given names from Ive been hearing this horseshit my entire
Consuelo and Jorge to Connie and George, life, from Catholic priests saying we should
the better to assimilate. The 40s generations never look people in the eyes to yaktivists
were pachucos, but more than a few Mexis making excuses for underperforming students

became so-called rebels during the 50s and to sociologists going back to the days of
into the present day. For years, one of my The Children of Sanchez. And I gotta ask:
favorite cinematic nuggets was discovering

where are the meek Mexicans? Are they

that there was a Mexican in the Pharaohs the millions who have come to this country
car club that kidnapped Richard Dreyfuss undocumented over the past couple of

character in American Graffitiwe were part decades, risking everything for the great
of George Lucas gabacho nostalgia-fest as unknown? Is it the field workers, jornaleros,

a different type of greaser, raza! Of course, carwasheros, mineros and canners who
all of that history means little to the current have held some of the fiercest union strikes

generation of Mexican rockabillies (call them your labor history books never bothered to
chilibillies, por favor), who like the scene cover? Is it the DREAMer (or whatever those
the same reason Mexicans like Morrissey, secular saints call themselves as nowadays)
lowriders, and oldies-but-goodies: those storming the halls of their local politicians,
subgroups pay strict attention to dress, hair,

demanding amnesty? Maybe the parents

Civil War Confederate reenactors, who have

raising DESMADRE against the corrupt PRI

music, and gender roles, and romanticize working nonstop to give their kids a better
the past and violence. Hey, at least were not future? Or is it those who remain in Mexico,
no excuse for their fun games other than they
liked people who fought to defend slavery.

A mexicana friend of mine told

me that assertiveness is not part of
the Mexican, or even Latino, culture
and that assertiveness may even
be considered rude by Mexican
12

and PAN duopoly? An unassertive Mexican

is like a non-vendido Mexican Republican
people say they exist, but they dont.

Ask the Mexican at

themexican@askamexican.net,
be his fan on Facebook, follow him on
Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him
on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!
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TXCITIZEN.COM

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Last Word
With Kelly Colby

On the FIFA Scandal

TXCITIZEN.COM

Addendum:
It appears that I may have misunderstood
what the scandal was that Mike was talking
about. To be sure that everyone is fully
informed let me explain.
FIFA is currently looking at possible
criminal indictments for several of the executives
within the organization. It appears that bribery
and payola of various forms is common within
the soccer world, and the American judicial
system is just figuring this out.
Im shocked! Shocked!
Just to be clear, graft and corruption are
commonplace in most of the world, and what
we have here in America is an exception not
the rule. In most of the world, people of money
and influence are able to control just about
anything, and the poor are forced to accept
this without recourse. At times the corruption
is so endemic that companies have carefully
factored it into their business plans. That this
sort of thing is unheard of in American is no
excuse for our judicial system being so nave.
If we expect to be involved in worldwide
efforts like FIFA, we can expect to be involved
in some business practices that seem unsavory.
Im sure Mitt Romney could tell you as much
having dealt with the Olympic Committee.
Wow, its difficult to even write that with a
straight face. The scandal isnt the surprise here.
The surprise is that someone is actually being
punished this time. Several other countries have
jumped on the bandwagon at this point, but
you can bet that the U.S. will not be invited
to the next cocktail party hosted by the world
elite. They may even be looking for a reason
to kick us out of the U.N. Our prosecuting
others for this type of corruption when our own
system has carefully legitimized it through the
use of lobbyists is the height of hypocrisy. Dont
misunderstand, there are legitimate reasons
why this behavior is illegal, but its not the sort
of thing America has ever done anything about
before, and if we are going to hold FIFA to
this sort of standard, Id like to see us apply
it to the U.N. too or at least the Executive and
Legislative branches of our own government.

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug.

blogspot.com.

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the

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SOON!
OPENING

Generally speaking, I choose my own topics

when I write. Every so often, though, some
request is made by Mike Reynolds, my editor,
and because my father taught me its poor
form to say no to the guy thats paying you, I
always agree. Such was the case this week.
Mike sent me a message suggesting that
the FIFA scandal would make a good topic.
I immediately replied, Can do, Boss! I had
no idea what FIFA was or what the scandal
entailed, but thats never stopped me before;
thats why God invented the internet through
his agent Al Gore.A quick Google search
later and I learned that FIFA stands for the
International Federation of Association
Football. I stared at this for a second. I did
appear that the organization was named
by a dyslexic, but that seemed more like an
oddity than a scandal.
Further investigation revealed that, in
this case, Football was, in fact, soccer, the
organizations name likely working out when
one accounted for foreign grammar. Here
was a clear outrage, a scandal if ever there
was one. Some group (probably European)
was trying to trade on Americas favorite
sport by renaming soccer.
It did occur to me, however, that this sort
of thing has happened before. Its not exactly
new to have pretenders to the game of football.
If you include soccer (and I guess you have to
now) there are four different sports that copy or
represent some variation on American football.
American football (the original) is
strangely the most sophisticated of the group.
I wouldnt call the game overly complex, but
it does involve both precise planning and
execution. It is perhaps the epitome of what
a team sport should be, where players of
various specific abilities must be coordinated
by the quarterback and coach. The rules are
carefully constructed to cover any possible
situation, and referees are used to make
final decisions. As technology has increased,
American football has adapted to allow for
complete exactitude on every play.
Alternatively, you have rugby, a British
sport that uses something that looks like a
football. The similarity seems to end there.

Rugby lacks in sophistication, stuck in the

colonial era. The sport doesnt appear to
have rules or a discernible goal of any kind.
Its likely designed as a physical allegory
to imperialism. The person who has the
ball (natural resources) is pummeled into
submission by any and all of the other players
until he gives up the ball. The players then
proceed to enact violence upon each other
until someone must be taken to the hospital.
Australian Rules football is appropriately
named, Australia being a penal colony. It
looks exactly like one would expect if a group
of criminals developed their own version
of American football. For sheer brutality,
Australian Rules football outstrips even rugby.
The word rules in the name implies that
there are some, but its difficult to determine
what they are with all the violence going
on, much of it seeming to have little relation
to the actual game. The referees appear to
be completely unfamiliar with the sport or
perhaps to have be bribed by both sides to
ignore infractions. I suspect Australian Rules
football is what American football would look
like if you blindfolded the refs.
Finally there is soccer. It appears to have
no actual relation to American football except
for the name, with soccer using the name
football based on the restriction of use of
arms in the game. Its no surprise that soccer
is popular with Europeans. Even the seemingly
arbitrary restriction on the use of arms is a
clear anti-Second Amendment jab. In addition,
its rules appear to have been decided on by
committee and require arbitration between
the referees and fans to avoid rioting (when
it works). Most games look like they could
devolve into the French Revolution at any
given moment. Furthermore soccer is typically
European in its insistence on egalitarianism
over all else. What little physical aptitude is
required to play the game can be applied
equally by either sex, so there is no particular
reason for mens teams or womens teams to
be more popular or accomplished. In fact, the
American womens team won something once I
think which indicates a clear superiority over the
American mens soccer team. In short, soccer is
the perfect sport for American Democrats who
would prefer to be living in Europe anyway.

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15