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His mothers lessons on love helped a single dad raise independent kids, and
learn to let them go.
I try to tune most of it out. When I feel overwhelmed, I call my mother. When
my three children were younger, and the strain of taking care of them seemed
as though it would overwhelm me, my mother would tell me what an elderly
babysitter once told her when she, too, felt overwhelmed: One day theyll be
able to get themselves a cup of water.
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It was a simple way of saying that children grow up and become more selfreliant, and eventually they set out on their own to chart their own course. You
wont always have to wait on them hand and foot.
She told me to remember that the more people a child has who truly love him
or her, the happier that child will be. So I work hard to maintain and expand
their circles of love.
She taught me that parenting was a lot like giving a hug: Its all about love and
pressure, and there is no one way to do it.
She taught me that sometimes you have to make time for yourself so that you
will have energy to give to your children. Allow them to have a pizza night
every now and then. An occasional treat wont hurt them, but working yourself
to a frazzle will surely hurt you. Rest.
She taught me that you must allow yourself time to find stillness so you can be
moved by it. Sometimes we are so busy that we forget why were busy. We
have so many things on our list of priorities that we lose sight of whats really
important.
And she taught me that my children dont truly belong to me; theyve simply
been entrusted to me. They are a gift life gave me but one that I must one day
give back to life. They must grow up and go away, and that is as it should be.
I thought that this would be a celebratory time, a time when I would relish the
idea of getting back to me, of working late without worry and taking lastminute weekend jaunts.
But I dont. Letting go is hard for me to do. I must let go, but my heart feels
hollow. I cant imagine me without them.
Lately there are times when I find myself just staring at my children, that kind
of look that says, I see you, really see you, and I love you with an allconsuming love, the kind of love that envelops you and sustains me. Its the
kind of look that invariably draws from my children a What? What are you
looking at? They speak the words through the slightest smile, a barely
registered one, the kind of smile teenagers manage when they know that they
are loved but feel that they are too old for hugs or tears.
Life gave them to me. Im preparing myself, as best I can, to give them back to
life.
Perspectiva de este pap solo cambiar la forma que se ve a sus hijos
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Era una forma sencilla de decir que los nios crecen y se convierten en
autosuficientes ms, y finalmente se estableci por su cuenta para trazar su
propio curso. No siempre va a tener que esperar en ellos de pies y manos.
Ella me dijo que recordara que cuanta ms gente que un nio tiene que
realmente lo ama, ms felices que los nios sern. As que yo trabajo duro para
mantener y ampliar sus crculos de amor.
Ella me ense que a veces hay que hacer tiempo para usted de modo que
usted tendr la energa para dar a sus hijos. Permitir que tengan una noche de
pizza de vez en cuando. Un tratamiento ocasional no les har dao, pero el
trabajar a una frazzle seguramente te har dao. Rest.
Ella me ense que hay que darse tiempo para encontrar la calma para que
pueda ser movido por el mismo. A veces estamos tan ocupados que nos
olvidamos por qu estamos ocupados. Tenemos tantas cosas en nuestra lista
de prioridades que perdemos de vista lo que es realmente importante.
Pero como el tiempo con mis hijos en mi casa llega a su fin, mi ms antiguo es
en la universidad y mis gemelos son 16 aos de edad de la escuela secundaria
juniors-Yo comienzo a sentir los dolores en el pecho que todos los padres se
sienten cuando sus hijos se alejan.
Pero yo no. Dejar ir es difcil para m hacerlo. Tengo que dejar ir, pero mi
corazn se siente hueco. Yo no me puedo imaginar sin ellos.
La vida me las dio. Estoy preparndome, lo mejor que puedo, para dar vuelta a
la vida.