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Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008
Im intelligent. Aesthetically non-displeasing. Im a young
man. I rock a wicked sense of humour. I dont take it
seriously. Life is fun. I take it seriously. I listen to electroshock house.
I seeded my dreams in THE INDUSTRY. I grew it into a
full blown reality.
Im making tracks. 175, deep, intelligentsometimes
brilliant. Cunning, sharp, witty, decisivecreative. I go out.
I enjoy staying in. I drink for the image and sometime to
demise. I like big brands, I dont buy big brands. I sip
champagne and kick it with celebrities. They only live
Im on the internet. Kids love me. Mums and dads adore
me. I love my friends, I make more every day. I have
enemies. But dont dislike them. No drugs. Im Australian.
Shaped by the international community. Im fashionable,
Im savvy sometimes I just dont care.
I talk the talk. I hold my own. Youll see it in my stride.
Im not from the hood. I dont pretend to be. People respect
that. Be yourself. Im just myself. Theres no better way to
be. You wont find yourself in me. I display my insecurities,
Ill always get back up. Im on my path. I drive cool, my
stero is LOUD. Im bi-polar, an engineer at heart.

Im hyper. Im excited. Im cool. Im suave. I put cocky

into courtesy. Im mature with vivid presence. Ill change
the dynamic. Im the x factor. I dont want to direct, I
want to play the lead role. I push the limits. I evolved
antagonism. I grew in the suburbs I live in the city.
Im cultured.
Life is sport. I live in the NOW. Im pressing the future.
Im a millionaire; my intentions state it. I find the spotlight.
I retreat to privacy. Ill enjoy your story. Ill listen when
others wont.
Ill encourage your inspiration, Ill admire the dream.
Im bling then rags then bling again. Life is friction.
But it made me smooth. I travel Up front. Experience is
my experience. Life is a melody over a sinister beat. Ive
got luck in my sights and resources at the ready.
Im not employed. I call the shots. DJ, trench time, twilight
zone. A creative-autistic. Im a President of a major part of
THE INDUSTRY. Day-time, night-time, down-time:
whenever. I like professional. I like world-class.
I know who I am, I know what I like. Nature and
nurturethe rest is nimbus. You will see it from a Mile
away. Come and shake my hand.
Another day, another dream.


Aligning your internal compass

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008
As always, alex articles come with a soundtrack:
People talk about your internal compass. The self always
coming through, self actualization and social conditioning.
As this is my profession and full time occupation,
assimilated with my psychology and sociology education I
have attempted to map out what is going on in the world
today and what is going on in the process of self
actualization. And what catalyses that desire to take action.
Inspect my pretty picture below. Conceptually think of this
as the compass. On which, the needle can be pointing in
any direction. The zone in which it points is a reflection of
what type of guy you are.
As you can see the process is clockwise in my graphical
design, and this is the case 99% of the time. However, in
some cases there can be regression and the process can go
A few assumed points of knowledge before i go into detail
For all intensive purposes Attraction = higher value than
the girl (ie cooler) plus being a girls source of a full range
of emotions.
Look out for a detailed break down of what I mean by this
soon. But basically you can be Higher value than the girl

(+V), neutral value (0V) or lower value than the girl (-V).
When I talk about your relative value to a girl I mean it in
terms of what you perceive your self to be in relation to her.
And remember, perception is projection.
Emotionally, you can expose a girl to a range of emotions
by talking to her. Ie, chatting up a girl. Or lines or routines
or whatever. Thats another debate. Essentially, you can be
as cooler guy as you want to think you are but if your not
talking to the girl, having the balls to approach and
ability/know how to communicate with her emotionally OR
have the balls to say emotionally spiking things you wont
get attraction.
However: If your ultra cool (socially proofed rock star) that
can be enough to inspire attraction in and of itself. If your
verbal game is ultra tight and you know exactly what to do
to expose a girl to a full range of emotions then that also
can render you higher value to her in her eyesrendering
you attractive.
Down to the internal compass. There are four types of guy
in the world.
The big in house secret here at RSD towers in the
confidential Northern Los Angles location is that only a
sexworthy guy gets laid. Period. Entertainer dudes make it
look great, and have plenty of clips on you tube depicting

this, but essentially, when you see a dancing monkey

interacting with an audience, the audience with usually be
overtly showing signs of entertainment.
When you see a natural talking to a girl usually you would
not be able to see whats going on. Why? Cos hes a cool
sexworthy guy, and the girls not going to overtly
demonstrate shes into him cos she will look like a slut and
risk giving away her power. And in some cases the girl is
just plain nervous and doesnt want to blow her chances
with a cool guy.
This is called invisible game, and is an advanced concept.
Keep an eye out for that article soon as well.
Study the graphic, at the top is the birth point, at the bottom
is a totally socially conditioned guy. The process is

Note how these two guys are the polar opposites.

Essentially a sexworthy guy is comfortable with what he
wants and UNAPOLOGETIC. Whereas the tolerable
socially conditioned guy is totally stifled and only talks to
girls when drunk. Scared of girls and has a scarcity

No idea guy (sometimes known as creepy man), not yet

fully socially conditioned is still likely to go for what he
wants, but have no idea about it. Has his hand slapped
continuously until he falls into line with social norms and
then inevitably falls into the tolerable socially conditioned
Butsocially conditioned tolerable guy knows inherently
that there is something not right. Most of the time, the
conditioning is so blinding that he has no idea. Works hard
at his poetry, takes heed to the multi million dollar alcohol
advertising campaign knocks some girl up, marries and
goes down that path. Pretty much the average guy in the
western world and about 90% of the population.
Realistically, only ten percent of the western world are in
the know about the community. If that.
The tolerable guys in the world who encounter enough
leverage, ie an emotionally moving event or a point of no
return are usually the sorts of guys that get into the
community. Willing to take action they start the process of
self actualization. Actively learning about what it takes to
better themselves and indulge in self help endeavors to
speed up the process.
Good self help is devastatingly effective. This sort of thing
has been studied for decades and even centuries. But in this
context, we are still breaking ground. The context of being
attractive to women intrinsically, just like a natural. Natural


Were devastatingly effective at teaching this.

But what about the naturals of the world and this process?
They never succumb to the social conditioning process. For
whatever reason their upbringing, non-conformity natural
good looks or money generally prohibits it. These guys feel
they are above the rest of the social world. For the rest of us,
we take heed of the fashion trends and acne products
because we werent born with the natural good looks,
delusional attitude towards our own brilliance or have
alcohol and drug problems.
We are all born naturals, and as time goes on and we make
sense of the social world we become conditioned. Consult
an article by Tim titled the default and heroes. We are born
men, but then turn into bitches. Remember the time you
first interacted with a girl you liked when you were about
6? You probably got some little butterflies in the tummy
and called her a lame or a dork or pulled her chair out from
under her? Cant remember. Why would your memory hold
onto something that doesnt fit into your model of the
modern world? No use, so the memory and reference point
was deleted. Think hard and it will come back to you.
At the point you enter the community as a tolerable guy
you immediately think that the key to being good with girls
is something you say or do. We think in terms of logic,
process, logistics and visible trends. Sure these are valuable
but only a small piece of the puzzle. Like 7% of the puzzle.
A creepy dude will never make the lines work, a tolerable
guy might get lucky, entertainer man will make them work

cos hes practiced and has a good ACT together. Sexworthy

guy communicates on different channels altogether.
Buuuut, in getting good with girls where do you start? The
verbals. Just like training wheels. Something you can take
out to the clubs straight away. Deploy and actually start
talking to a girl. To a guy who couldnt previously do this it
is extremely valuable. Some guys will pay tens of
thousands of dollars to learn how to start a conversation
with girls.
Cool. But ask yourself? Did your lines get you laid or did
the fact that youre a cool guy get you laid? Or maybe the
lines did get you laid, but did you keep the girl? Maybe you
kept the girl, but was she sane?
In going through the self actualization process this is the
first step. Walking up to a girl with nothing to say can
inspire fear into the heart of war hardened heroes. I have
seen this on program. Giving a guy a jump start with some
verbals is always the first step. Sure you can engage the
girl, but when you run out of things to say youre done. Its
possible to learn hours worth of routines, but at some point
they will run out. Off comes the mask and its it puts the
lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
So, in reading a few things online you quickly get into the
entertainer man mode. In a lot of cases the closer mentality
is completely lost. A lot of guys develop some bullshit ego
that they are awesome with girls and completely
discontinue to escalate.


They become the funny guy. Just like a gay friend. I

would seriously hate to be thought of that, if I were straight.
Symbolic of zero masculinity. Ultimately the entertainer
guy is inside his head. Consciously competent so to speak.
He can engage girls, but he has to think about it to make it
happen. Naturals, and natural gamers are never inside their
Its quite the leap of faith to work towards becoming the
sexworthy guy. You need to essentially dis-acknowledge
all entertainer man traits, everything you know and do is
something that you will initially feel totally incongruent
with. Something that your internal compass has not yet
aligned with.
In a lot of cases when I get a guy on program, who has a
strong history of entertainer stuff, he has to go back to
square one, demolish what he thought he knew and start
afresh learning the right habits and mindsets.
The modality of communication is completely different.
What is said in set is usually completely irrelevant when a
guy is sexworthy. When a guy has his head in that place
and the right experiences under his belt.
But to get to that place, often times when self actualizing
you need to go through a period of entertaining,
approaching, learning and reference points to truly embody
all the traits of the sexworthy guy.
Once you have experiences, being blowouts, lessons, make
outs, reactions, flakes and closes you have a fundamental

mindset shift. Identity level change. You no longer think

that the cube and the palm reading are cool. You develop
the nimbus, it glows at all times and people around you
simply know that youre a cool guy. The girls game you, I
get opened all the time.
The self is always coming through. When you have been
through enough, when you get back to your natural minset,
conquered it and realize that the game is simply fun and
something that you extremely good at, your tonality,
behaviors and gestures all reflect this. Your coming form
that right place the closer/sexworthy/cool place.
Youre the cool guy.
Your internal compass is aligned with what youre
projecting. You are 100% congruent with whom and what
you are. 100% congruence is integrity. Integrity is one of
the most attractive traits known to man kind. Especially
A lot of people throw around the term fake it till you make
it. Yuk. More accurately your working towards the person
you want to become. You cant fake being a good guitarist.
But you can work towards it. You cant fake being a cool
guy, but you can work towards it. Once you take that action,
your internal compass catches up with what youre working
towards. You become congruent with it and self
actualization is complete.
The claw only grows stronger. At first it will probably be a
shadow of its aspiring self. At first its not completely

congruent with whom you are. But with a deeper

understanding of it and wholehearted adoption of the
dominance mentality soon enough it lines up and its who
you are. Simple.
When making the transition to Sexworthy guy you simply
take on the traits and mindset of that guy and work towards
becoming it. Its actually a very simple process when you
know how to recognize the cobwebs that need to be cleared
and all the dimensions constitue it.
What are the dimensions and traits of a sexworthy guy?
Sorry thats bootcamp value right there. And again, its one
thing to know what it is, but another thing to learn it and
embody it.
Sexworthy guys with natural game get opened and have the
girls actively gaming him. It happens to me all the time.
Just as I have seen it happen to my natural friends and costaff and students who are good learners.
When learning something, in this case being an attractive
guy, there are generally four stages. As demonstrated on
the graphic each type of guy has a stage. No idea man is
unconsciously incompetent, hes bad, but has no idea hes
bad. Tolerable guy is bad, and knows somethings up,
usually this is fixed with alcohol or proactive action, this
guy is consciously incompetent. Entertainer dude has
actively learned a few thing here and there, knows some
lines, but still deep down is coming from the place of
scarcity, he can talk to girls but need to think about it to
really make it happen. When his internal compass lines up

with this he becomes the funny guy, gets girls occasionally

sure. But to be good he has to think about it, hes
consciously competent.
The naturals simply get it, has internalized it and is
carefree about the way he conducts himself, hes learnt
whats necessary, challenged bad habits sacked up and
kamikazed in there. Had the epiphany that whatever
happens hes going to wake up the next day and become an
intrinsically higher value guy. He is unconsciously
The difference between tolerable man and entertain man, or
newbie and average community guy is his ability to put a
girl through a range of emotions with calculated words. In
both cases the guy never higher value relative to the girl.
However entertainer dude now has a form of confidence in
his line purchased off the internet. All confidence is lost if
he for one minute thinks that there are more lines out there
to be bought. His game is no longer a ten.
The difference between entertainer dude and sex
worthiness is the added coolness. Going in not to button
push but to entertain himself, truly indifferent to the
If you can honestly say you can go into any interaction
completely indifferent and totally free of outcome
dependence you know your internal compass is firmly
aligned with the sexworthy guy you are.


But TRUE indifference and being in the moment,

entertaining yourself first and foremost comes as a result of
exposure. That means either getting off the couch, or being
a natural from day one, a guy who was always good with
girls since adolescence.
So, where are you on the compass? Work towards what you
want to become, with exposure youll get there real quick.
And fall into that 2% of guys who are naturally attractive,
dont need lines and have the girls gaming him. The
sexworthy guy.
The closer.
Not there yet? Check out the graph, you can see where
youre up to in terms of self actualization. Embrace the
game and throw yourself head first. Unstifle the shit and
game on.
If your not there yet get out there and have some fun, thats
what makes this learning so awesome. Dreamtimez
The glory is in the game.


Elite Congruence.
Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008
What Im here to write about today is the notion of not
being here to fornicate arachnids. A lot have asked me what
the fuck does this mean. Fornicate means to have sex with,
arachnids more obviously refers to spiders. Were not here
to fuck spiders, as in, were here to get down to business.

And, I believe this is an issue only relevant to this forum. I

dont think there is too many other guys encountering this
problem. Only the sex-worthy guys of the world encounter
this problem.
First, time to pre-establish the notion of sex worthy guy.
This is the guy who is intrinsically higher value than the
girl, indifferent, mindset of abundance, experienced
positive and dominant. This guy exposes a girl to a range of
emotions in the form of chatting her up. For a guy who is
intrinsically higher value, his ability to attract her is simply
a function of his ability to put his personality on the line.
Charisma and a range of expression. Unapologetic.
Cool, established, onwards.
Now for these sorts of guys, lots get caught in some bullshit
ego trap and think that its enough just to become the sex

worthy guy and open less and play less game. If you dont
play by the rules, your simply not in the game. The
alternate option is sitting on the side, drink to chest
watching, masturbating.
These sorts of dudes, if opened are magic. No doubt. The
classic natural. However these naturals will never come
close to the self actualized because they cant do the most
pivotal part of pick up
The approach.
Alpha as he may be, rest assure that anyone reading this
will always trump a man scared to risk a conversation with
a girl. And in most cases, the self actualized man is learned
of all possible contingencies, and can execute.

But the final hurdle that most guys make is the following.
Their internal compass clicks form the entertainer man
zone into the sexworthy guy zone. Identity level change.
But overtly and logistically they then neglect exactly what
they have become and, as a result, remain underneath their
own glass ceiling of success.
Essentially, when a guy learns about game, he becomes the
entertainer man. Enlightened and consciously aware of his
game unconsciousness he learns some lines and gets out

into the field. No more internet south park and less world of
warcraft. As his experience compiles his inner game
becomes more and more restored. And with the resources
such as the forum, the Blog and our products his head is at
the light speed thrust into the right space.
I did it, Tyler did it, Jeffy did it, Tim did it, so did ALOT of
Plasticity of the brain. People can learn. Internally you are
sorted. But a lot of guys get into some weird negative
headspace about the means and tactics that once was the
causality for closing.
Pffft dude, check out that chode doing a palm reading. He
must be a desperate **** creep. I wonder where he keeps
his wand.

As though they were above the game. They neglect to

approach, no one knows just how cool they are as they keep
it bottled up inside of them, resting on their laurels. Dont
play by the rules and youre not in the game.
Kinda like Paris Hilton. Paris, egotistically was under the
impression that she was above the rules. That she was
above reality as so many celebrities do. As a result: jail, out
of the game. Same with rehabilitation or negative public

image. A persons value is only as potent as their

application of their self.
There is incongruence when a man actually goes through
identity level change and self actualization. He will feel
that he no longer needs to button push or palm read. That
he his above it, which I certainly agree with. That sort of
thing can be a great set of training wheels. But what then
does he say?
Entertainer man says entertaining things, what does
sexworthy man say?
Now, there is nothing wrong with saying the entertaining
routine type stuff. They are fun little social things. Except
now, the self actualized individual is now coming from a
different place. He is saying these things now to entertain
himself, rather to engage and impress others. There is no
outcome dependence. Like the music, it plays without
intervention. Offering value to all whose ears it falls upon,
but ultimatly is simply an expression of itself.
But once you make that transition all that routinesy type
stuff is all pretty chode and goes and hand in hand with
peacocking and indirect methodology. Ultimately its
incongruent with who and what you are as a guy.
Why cant naturals fully get logical processes? They
dont need to. Sure there would be a few principles and
maneuvers that would amp their game but ultimately
learning game is regression for a natural. A natural alpha
male guy is intrinsically higher value. He naturally knows

that if he just keeps on talking he will inspire the range of

emotions in the girl. Simply the fact that he is a certain type
of guy is enough. Higher value plus emotions equals
The learned sexworthy guy understand principles like
escalation, realizes that its always on, and makes the most
out of so may more opportunities than the born natural
waiting for green lights to escalate and approach.
Once you make that mindset change from entertaining and
sexworthy, stop entertaining and start being more sexual.
A lot of guys got laid more being the entertainer routine
guy than making harmony with their new sexual state and
consequently repress it. Incongruence is a difference
between the projected self and the actual self, ego and self
esteem. Incongruent guys arent attractive, congruent guys
are the definition of integrity and are attractive.
When you make the shift, get sexual. Direct, statements of
intent. Dominant escalation with a positive frame.
Unapologetic. You are what you are, embrace it, express it.
Integrity is very attractive.
Usually this isnt a problem for natural guys. They are the
epitome of incorrigible. Alternatively the learned
sexworthy guy needs to be aware of this incongruence and
act through his own intentions. Cease the suppression of
who and what he is and tell the girl what hes thinking.


What words should he say and what actions should he

Thats a whole nother how to article.
The glory is in the game. And dreamtimes.


Coming from the Right Place.

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008
People are always talking about how shit is going to work
if youre coming from the right place.
This is not an issue of geographies, biological descent or
compass bearing (but it is an issue of your internal
compass) .
Or more seriously, not the angle from which to generate
your pick up persona, like a tough guy or sensitive guy
or homo metro-sexual guy.
(Nothing against gay guys, theyre very cool. I know plenty
and they have an insight into style and chic that we simply
dont. I am however disappointed with guys who dont man
the fuck up).


Coming from the right place is an inference to your

communication style and is evident in terms of audibly
microscopic intonations and miniscule fluctuations in
physiological gestures.
Women, the bearers of ten times mens power of perception,
would at best struggle to articulate what separates sex
worthy from entertaining traits, while men all round the
world are scratching their heads and considering the
investment returns of a brothel encounter.
Pre-game where you are coming from is largely dependant
on youre upbringing, emotional experiences, disposition
and demographics. Social conditioning. Essentially anyone
can learn anything, check out brain plasticity. This means
that anyone can be coming from any point of view
depending on their life experience to date.
Where youre coming from is the filter through which your
actions are generated. Depending on your core values and
who you really are will dictate the how factor in all of
your actions.
Ultimately it really doesnt matter what you do. We
consistently open successfully with such stupidity as Hey,
do you guys believe in Harry Potter? and Are you my
mommy?! accompanied by mock crying and breast
The only way this could possibly work is if who and what
you are is all the right things. If this is not the case, if
youre coming from the wrong place the best and most field

tested successful conversation starter is not going to work

with the most desperate of women.

All of us have had nights when shit has worked, and others
when shit has not worked.
As mentioned above, anyone can come from any place.
Have you ever known a set of identical twins vastly
differing in mentalities and outlooks in life? Biologically
identical by nature, but polar opposites as a result of varied


Have you ever known someone to totally change who and

what they are? Usually catalyzed by an extreme emotional
episode, the individual reaches a point of no return or
indifference threshold, the bottom of the well. They realize
that somethings gotta give.
To quote Tyler, two types of guys get into this community.
Those on the end of their tether, pulling their hair out
hoping upon hope that there might be some escape from the
downward spiral that is spinning faster and faster out of
control. Or just getting involved to see what its all about.
The thing is, that its not until you get to the bottom of the
proverbial well that you are empowered by the notion that
you can get no lower. At that point there is only one escape,


You descent has finally ceased and you stand with your feet
firmly grounded ready to push off in the right direction.
The momentum changes from the heart in the throat freefall to self esteem and individual progress.
By the by, the generation of euphoric feelings of self
esteem comes during periods of progress in any area of
your life. You might still be obese, but if you hammer out a
good cardio session and eat right for a few days you will
feel like a million bucks. Self esteem.
This is so often the case with younger children. Theyre
always progressing physically and cognitively, moving in
the right direction. This amps the default self esteem. The
mom look at me phenomenon. By this same token, this is
the reason why so many teens in their later years lose all
self esteem and suffer emotional turbulence because there
is an acute feeling of what now?
To come from the right place is not a conscious way to act.
Your actions shift in presentation as you encounter more
and more life experiences, be they joyful or heartbreaking,
success or failure. Each and every individual experience is
another component to the self. The same self that is always
coming through.
There is a lot that can be learned from someone who has
seen the bitterest of failure. This is a person, whom in light
of disaster will find a new motivation unlike anything he
has ever known before. But it is the disaster, the experience,
that catalyses the change in self. To all whom observe this
person they will know he is a motivated and passionate

person. The result is admiration and respect from peers, and

a demonstration of traits intrinsically attractive to women.
Furthermore to the man who has experienced great success
or wellbeing comes a change in internal satisfaction and
self assurance that most certainly would have been hard
earned. Invariably, for a mans self to embody a state of
self assurance he must certainly have formerly conquered
turmoil, stress and uncertainty. As a result internal
contentedness is established. He isnt just acting assured.
He is assured. This is the self.

Contrastingly, the trust fund kids have all the wealth, but
not the integrity of a self made, hard working humble
person. The spoiled brat. Traditionally these people, while
influential arent well liked. This persons self is
incongruent with their material wealth. So often you see
socialites, pop stars and rock stars checking into rehab.


What if you as a person have not conquered turmoil or have

the leverage to motivate you to succeed? These totally
abstract ideas are difficult to measure tangibly. Ultimately
everything is relative to something else, comparable and
hence quantifiable. Everything can be reframed.
In reframing your position or progress you realize that yeah,
you have sure survived a lot of shit, and yeah you dont
need the billion dollar bling to be seen as high status. You
might even stop to realize how shit your end of the deal
really is and be inspired to take action. Or maybe you stop
to appreciate your health and vitality and establish inner
In any of these instances you can reframe a situation from
being something that is compromising your potential and
exchange it for a solid pillar of internal belief. A part of
your self, that which is always coming through.
Tough to explain. An example. I used to be extremely poor,
hardcore debt issues. I would constantly walk around in a
state of worry, uncertainty and self pity. My game results
sucked. Every cent I earned went to bills that were fast
accumulating interest compounding beyond my earning
capacity. When I went out to party I didnt think my
financial dramas would prevent me from success. Logically
it wasnt an issue, I didnt need money to have fun. But I
was convinced that cash in the pocket equated to fun.
Coming from the wrong place I was nothing more than a
forced smile over an ocean of uncertainty.


The debt got worse and worse, I honestly thought I would

have to go to jail. Then it hit me like the acceleration of an
exotic sports car. They wouldnt ever lock me up because
then I couldnt work to pay off my debt. Essentially I was
free. Giddily I laughed like a girl, money or no money I
was invincible baby. Massive internal mindset shift, I
always through I was invincible, this was some pretty
awesome proof.

Mindset change, coming from the right place, extreme

confidence, haphazard fun and kamikaze game ensued.
Awesome results, I didnt even pay for anything, people
started buying me drinks. Sure I would have contributed if I
had the resources but it was not an option. No one could
stop me, the only way was up, progress, I was coming from
the right place.


No one would have known that my situation was just as

dismal as it ever was. But, now I was invincible, I acted
like it and dreamy electro shock nights were a new standard
of success.
Likewise, I stopped to reframe my other experiences.
Massive break up teary episode turned from blemish on my
masculinity to a new degree of emotional impervious. My
lack of success became the stepping stone to the next point
of progress. My long term lackluster physique was no
longer shameful but instead dominating, a work of art in
All my though processes were internal. He who is
internally centered is secluded from poisoned external
conditioning. Everything I had going on was better than it
had ever been, the physical manifestations of my actions
reflected this.
Perception is projection.
The self is always coming through.
Same actions, different communication.
Likewise, in my endeavors to come from the right place I
sought knowledge that would give me new perspectives on
facts to inspire the internal shifts, to amplify the awesome
place I was coming from. Reading exposed me to ideas that
sex is the most successfully selling entity in the western
world. Most advertisements promote extreme levels of
sexual standards, advocating that sexually I was insufficient.
Like the illumination of a light bulb in a cartoon thought

bubble I realized that I was perfectly sexually sufficient in

reality. Internal belief adjustment, behaviors generated
This was one of countless examples.
These new lessons came in the form of secondary sources
of knowledge. These things opened my eyes to mentalities
that shifted my mindset. The pipeline to my actions.
Redefining the place I was coming from.
Adjusting, to come from the right place.


The Cultivation, and No responsibility.

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008
Relatively recently my own personal journey to understand
women, based on front line gender skirmish and allembracing attempts of academic de-codificatioin of the
female psyche reached a pinnacle. The system is now
apparent, and ready to be distributed.
Never was I subject to the community in the times of
lines and routine stacks. Frankly, if the community was
more an acting academy than a melting pot of identity level
change I would have remained in the local university
library trying to figure this stuff out for myself.

Mum always taught me, be the gentleman, be the chivalry,

be the bitch chode internet porn connoisseur. For so long I
listened. After all she was more older and more female than
I was.
What mum didnt know was that it was all about cultivating
the naturally attractive guy inside all of us.

Let me ask you something. Do you remember the first time

you ever hit on a chick? You were probably six, maybe
seven. You probably had a stir of squeamish feelings deep
in your viscera as you engaged the object of your affections.
Cue the harps and lets your eyes glaze over as you relive
those moments. How did you approach the pre pubescent

If you, like most guys, allowed your blind spots to eclipse

what actually transpired you would recall that it probably
involved you calling the girl a loser or a dork or telling her
you hate her.
A communication of higher status? A challenging and
indifferent frame? Exposing her to a range of emotions? All
the right stuff. If not a bit miscalibrated.
Bear in mind this sort of voluntary action is the completely
natural, DEFAULT the way you are wired behavior. And
like Matrix Revolutions realize that you were wired

correctly form the beginning. With out that software this

race as we know it would have died out a long time ago.
At that stage you werent yet old enough to be molded by
such social conditioning catalysts as MTVs Parental
Control or Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan tag team teachings.
By the time we get to the age of fifteen the backs of our
hands are red raw from disciplinary slaps. An accurate
metaphor for living your life in reaction.
Realize this in the venture to cultivate the naturally
attractive guy inside all of us. Like the controlled
demolition of a sky scraper, demolish the existing skewed,
conformist socially conditioned identity that youre living
with and rebuild the foundations of your naturally attractive
self. Let each additional level be the implementation of a
positive habit, perhaps a masculine internal belief.
As you install the latest technology into your shiny new
structure, as you call in the renovators to implement
aesthetic style into your being and a gym membership to
maintain and tune the posture of your brand new entity you
become a certain type of guy.
To rehash an old pearl of wisdom floating around the
community, attraction is not a choice. This type of guy
cannot be ignored. Hell turn heads and have the girls
gaming him.
Did you ever have a girl just choose you? Kinda cool
huh? Not the usual script of trying to push water uphill on
the beaches of Normandy in WWII.

Take a moment to reflect on the percentage of attractive

women in the world? Twenty-five percent, Maybe thirty?
Contrastingly, realize what percentage of guys really have
that combination of natural attractiveness while having
their shit together. Id wager somewhere between three and
five percent.
These are the sorts of guys that girls will go crazy for. The
truly sex-worthy guy. Not the palm reading guy wearing a
sparkly Harry Potter jacket putting women under his spell.
I for one am proud to say that Real Social Dynamics is an
advocate of the Sex-Worthy got his shit together guy.
And Im even prouder to say that Ive been given an
opportunity to play a pivotal part in transforming guys into
that minority of the male population that generates
attraction everywhere he goes.
Meditate on the fact that, guys dont get laid because they
are successful, but rather, guys become successful because

they are the naturally attractive type of guy who gets laid.
This may seem counter intuitive initially. Consider Richard

That, gentlemen, is what its all about. Cultivating the

Naturally attractive guy thats stifled somewhere deep
inside all of us. The default. The Hero (to quote a well
respected colleague).
Im about to plug the Ipod into my car stereo, grab a few
mates and head down the coast to surf the beautiful
Australian beaches. After an afternoon kicking around I
know its gonna be time to hit the town and make some
girls nights. Maybe her breakfast as well
What action are you taking?




Operation Charlie~Kilo
Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008

At any one time in my life i will be working towards
several different goals simultaneously. keeps me occupied,
keeps me challenged, keeps me entertained.
One thing I always wanted to really conquer was my own
I was shopping at a duty free store today and I realised that
becoming a professional model would make an awesome
career. It was as i sprayed sample cologne onto a tester strip
that i noticed the abundance of free products i would get a s
benefit of my photographic and cat walk obligations.


As i indulged in this dreamtimez, it also occurred to me the

difficulty that will accompany such an achievement. Not
just anyone can become an internationally renowned model.
Especially girls. ut as far as i understand for guy you just
have to have the ripped abs, pretty complexion and above
the bar personal grooming.
A sense of style would be helpful, charisma and presence.
I walked my way to the front of a duty free mirror and
began to slowly nod in self agreement.
It is time. Not fornication time. Dreamtimez.
If anyone one could execute such a feat it would be me. I
have the time and commitment. The right head on my
shoulders and plenty of room to improve.
The primary goal:


The secondary goal:


So. I hereby lay out my intentions for this challenge. And

means by which for achieving them.
Join me, to strut the cat walk with an expressionless glint in
your eye. If you dare.
Heres whats gonna be required. And this is a stark
contrast to my life right now.
Discipline. Diet and working out. I always eat out. the rule
of thumb is all natural foods. White meat. No dressings.
Including fruits, nuts, vegetables and a lot of fish.
Sushi is ok. Coffee is ok. All other times only water.

Gum must be on hand at all times and chewed until no

longer flavorsome. This enhances breath, thwarts appetite
and strengthens the jaw line. An essential element of the
male models resume.
When i drink it must only be straight gin. No ice. If its
gonna be bad, lets make it real bad. I already only do this
anyway. Straight gin is similar in many ways to the good
old fashioned lime in the eye.
I will shave daily in an effort to grow a beard. Sleep at
regular intervals. Use proactive to nimbus the complexion.
I have purchased a skipping rope. And my many hotels
have fire escapes purpose build to be exercised upon.
My audio books will be played out as a casually run one
hour jogs on the tread mills.
Cardio exercise can be substituted for down hill skiing.
I will wear Calvin Kline Be pour de homme each day to
remind me of my mission.
I will smile.
Each day i will exercise twice. One High intensity, one low
intensity. I will day two instead of binge drinking with
confederates and newly formed piss head friends.
I will save a lot of money.
Hi intensity exercise will be 3x fire escape sprints
(minimum ten levels). 10 minutes with skipping rope (40

seconds easy, 20 seconds hard). And 6 minutes boxing (30

seconds easy, 30 seconds hard).
Low intensity will consist of various resistance training,
chest back and arms. No rests between sets, alternating
groups. Followed by one hour easy jog.
Each evening and night I will do 100 push ups and 100 sit
ups and 9 prone holds, three for each abdominal dimension.
Protein supplement will be consumed. Multivitamins will
be consumed. Hydroxycut will be consumed.
I will hang out in the sun (as much as possible(winter of
I will whiten my teeth, using gum and strips.
Operation Charlie~Kilo.
The advantages of holding this sort of position are the
networking opportunities. The girls I will meet in the
process, the people in the industry, the creative minds. CK
will dress me, clothes, eyewear, shoes, cologne Everything.
This will test my discipline and time management skills.
My love of beer and my generally reckless abandon.
Attraction = higher value plus a full range of emotions. The
CK models are highly regarded by society.
Print this out, post it on your wall, your batthroom or office
cubiclejoin operation Charlie~Kilo.


Game in a new dimension.

Projection is perception: wait and see.


The Self, The Natural and Nature vs Nurture.

Friday, January 25th, 2008
Nature versus Nurture: the natural inside you, and the
Identity you chose.
If you not a natural, how to become a natural? How did
naturals become naturals if they werent already that
If you are going to change your identity, then dont you
lose your congruence and as a result have weak inner
Some say that its not a case of learning, but rather
unstifling. How do you implement something that you
dont literally implement?
How can all the RSD instructors, as different as they are all
get consistent results. Are they all natural? But they are all
so totally different.


Tyler speaks about the dynamic existence of your identity.

People change who they are over time. Does this mean
weak inner game?
There is a lot of static noise in the community. All of which
is accurate but missing one conceptual thread to tie it all
together. The final piece of a puzzle that when complete
reveals a conclusive model.
My background is in science of psychology. One of the
biggest issues that psychologists of all fields are concerned
with is the question of nature versus nurture? Was the
patient born that way, or did he develop that way. A result
of genetics or experience?

For example, is a gay guy born homosexual or does it

develop over time? Is there a chemical pattern to this
phenomenon? In some cases people are sure they are gay
form the times of pre-school, while others arent assured or
their sexuality until their late fifties?

Usually the answer is a combination of both. In some cases

totally genetic, in some cases it is developed after normal
heterosexual relationships.
Who you are, your identity is composed of two things.
Your nature: genetics, your body, physical chemical and
biological (unconscious) and your nurture: your
experiences, passions, memories, interests, fears
The guys who I have seen as the very best in the game, old
friends of mine from my football club and of the hundreds
of students I have had and my elite level colleges the
absolute best are commonly of the highest integrity.
By integrity, for game purposes I refer to the notion that
they have no ego. What you see is what you get. They are
totally unapologetic about who and what they are. If they
are unapologetic about it they are passionate, they have a
great energy.
A person of true integrity has the tightest inner game out.
He trusts himself, hes not worried if people see the real
him because, in his opinion, its great. Women gravitate
towards this. This is nimbus. Attraction is a function of
your ability to put your personality on the line.
As a side note, women read your inner game by mirroring
you, as reported by Louann Brizendine author of the
bestseller The Female Brain. This is done by the girl
subconsciously mirroring your behaviour, scanning for
anxieties and inconsistencies and then feeling them in her

own body. Basically if you are comfortable she will be too.

If you are exited, she will be too. Bad news is, if you are
feeling uncomfortable talking to her she will feel it to. If
you feel apologetic, she will feel the same. The self is
always coming through, like it or not. Good news is if you
dial your integrity attraction is not a choice. Your value
will shine through loud and clear. Just like when a guy sees
a model in a bikini climbing out of a pool. An unescapable
fact of life.

The old enemy social conditioning is to blame here. You

are uncomfortable because you think you are supposed to
be. Self actualisation overrides social conditioning.


Metaphorically social conditioning is like being taught to

walk the wrong way.
Cognitively you were always programmed with the
capability to learn how to walk, but SC steps and forces
you learn the wrong technique.
Self actualisation is the process of unlearning the incorrect
technique. There is no faking until you making it here. Its
already there. Buried, in every single man.

But what is it that you are unearthing? What then is the

right technique? Your nature that if you dont accurately
embrace you will never truly be congruent? Resulting in
you feeling uncomfortable and the girl feeling just as


Its the same traits that every instructor has, every great
natural has and what pre-socially conditioned boys have.
Living in the moment, positive dominance and escalation.
Three little things that if wholeheartedly understood and
embraced will render you congruent with what you were
born as, leading you to be more comfortable with yourself
and resulting in the girls being comfortable around you.
The traits of the naturally attractive guy. The traits that if
you werent incorrectly conditioned otherwise would have
shone through naturally on their own.
These traits are similar to those catalysed by alcohol, the
pillar of the western social world. When you drink the
cognitive part of your brain is inhibited, you lose the ability
to focus on much more than what is in front of you and
without a second thought you more comfortably act on
your desires.
Congruence is the KEY to attraction, it cultivates tight
inner game namely making you high value. On the nature
side of things you were designed to focus on the moment,
to be assertive, unreactive and generate you own state.
What we call presence and positive dominance. The man is
comfortable with who he is also comfortable to escalate.
Did you ever get blown out for escalating? Probably not. If
you cant answer that question get into the field.


Cant be congruent if you dont know what you are.

Thousands of field hours with hundreds of people have
demonstrated that these are the keys to understanding the
unconscious side of your true self.
Now the other half of your true self. The side that explains
why instructors can be so different and still get consistently
outstanding results. Although each instructor is externally
different, has different mannerisms, hobbies, histories and
passions at their core each possesses these key traits.
Game is a celebration of your self. But your self can be
dynamic and changing. I used to love to play football, now
I love to watch go out and be social. My passions or anyone
elses are the jump start to their nimbus. Ask someone what
they are passionate about and watch as their eyes light up,
the energy is amped up and they are more fun to be around.
Remember that girls draw their state from external sources,
men, you. If you have a good state, so will she.
Now, if you are incongruent with your passions, or you
dont have any you will never find the nimbus. If you are

apologetic about your passions, not proud of what you are

and what you love you will always be incongruent and as a
result experience anxiety continuously. If you have anxiety,
so will she.
So, what Im saying is that there are two levels to your
identity, to your self, to who you are. The next line of
reasoning states that any girls you interact with will get
their state from you. Underlying these facts is the number
one rule that you are congruent with yourself(i dont give a
fuck what anyone thinks of me), which means tight inner
game making you a high value guy and attractive.
Know what you were born into, embrace it and express it.
It makes game very simple and fun, especially because it
will generate the sticking point of girl time management.
And enjoy expressing unapologetically what you like to do.
It doesnt matter if its aeronautical engineering or watching
TV, the fact that you are proud of it, and who you are is
whats going to make you a naturally attractive guy.
Diagram time, the circle is representative of a person. On
the inside is what you were born as, what every man has
inside of him, what the great guys have in common. On the
outside is the way you express yourself, your dynamic
personality that you are proud for everyone to see.
Attraction is a function of your ability to put your
personality on the line.


This concept is almost exactly the same as offering value.

There is no ego to this, what people see is what people get.
Integrity, no internal anxiety, hence, none for her. Proud,
unstifled expression of your self IS nimbus. Confidence
happens when you perceive that nothing holds you back.
Really simple actually.
Notice how the diagram looks like cone of a stereo
Be the music, that is all there is.




Trench Times and the Nimbus.

Friday, February 1st, 2008
Honestly Ive been thinking.
There is so much bullshit that goes on in the industry these
days, a new guru every day, someone with a new take on a
miniscule component of a tried and tested principle or
So much of this mental masturbation is a smokescreen, an
excuse for actually putting your ego on the line, yourself to
the test and reaping the rewards that come with a hard
fought victory.
I personally love the idea that to the victor got the spoils.
These are the occasions when you earn the title of
champion, through hard fought battles, identity shaping
crises and moments of personal brilliance.
The cleanest high you will ever experience.
This is the nimbus.
To achieve this magical experience comes only from
getting into the game, playing within the bounds of most of
the rules, bending others and bring the best out of yourself
in turbulent times.
On any given battle field every man starts equal, self
perceptions become redundant nothing is assumes. The
glory is in the game, the opportunity to play, conquer and
to forge a reputation for yourself.

So many guys get to know some theory, but havent been

laid in months. In their mind they have pulled the
proverbial band aid over the real problem at hand. Only a
brave man will risk rejection, only a great man will be
unshaken by it.
How do you get to a headspace of unreactiveness to bad
reactions? Veteran field status, simple.
With more application, real life experience you forge a
strong sense of self and become more internally centred,
like graduating from player to captain.


What do most other guys do? They step up, tentatively

have a turn and quicker than you can say false self
perception suffer ego bruising and sulk back to the corner
to lick their wounds. They then begin to think up all sorts
of bullshit to transcend the rules. No-one is above the rules.

There is no need to re-invent the wheel here, just a case of

good old fashioned application.
Guys like Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong, Michael Jordan
and Roger Federer at the start of every season or every
tournament have no more or no less status than any other
individual, it is their desire to win, persistence and
execution of the basics that set them above the rest.


Of my colleges, the best guys in the world at this, on any

given night start no better than a hard core chode starting at
the girls from the bar with one hand in his pants.
Its the action that he takes when on the playing field that
sets him apart, hurtling forward injecting his value into the
situation wanting it more than the next man, becoming
bulletproof, internally centred and the lightning rod for all
energy both positive and negative.
As the battle goes on this conductivity only serves to
strengthen him, energise him and ignite his nimbus. As
others are exposed to such electro-shock-therapy they
crumble under the pressure. Setting the great apart from the
weak, the masters from the students.


Do these guys have the magic tricks? Not necessarily, but

they do have killer intuition, timing poise and calibration.
This is the X factor that the greats have. Application of
the basics and stubborn persistence. Charging forward with
flying colours while others would second guess themself.
So, keep it simple. Play the game, have fun with it, playing
the game is simply a celebration of yourself. Learn from
those whom have gone before you and take what advice
you deem valuable.


Many guys play sports all over the world every day. If you
ask most why they participate they will tell you it is
because it enriches their lives, they get an opportunity to
test themself and an opportunity for glory and dreamtimes.

Competition is a naturally masculine trait. Embrace it,

become congruent and you will begin to communicate
natural attractiveness loud and clear.
Many guys quit playing; they simply dont have the balls or
are socially conditioned otherwise. They leave their
uniforms at the altar and sign their lives away to a life of
being the spectator.
Woop! Not.


And once you have some experience and truly enjoy the
game for the game, and are having fun, to the victor will
always go the spoils.

And it feels really really glorious.

The glory is in the game,
Get in the trenches and find the nimbus.
PS. Go the Lions. An inspiration to me growing up.


The twilight zone

Tuesday, February 19th, 2008
then run this for audible reading pleasures
What abilities do you need to be good at this game? None,
really. Your birth certificate is your ticket to the
battleground. The trenches, beyond which resides the everelusive twilight zone. A smile comes across my face at the
mere thought of it.
This place is the holy grail of the Game, the Nimbus, the
glory, the desire deluxe. I have seen it, I have lived it. Its
like crack, an almost suffocating feeling of euphoria. Like
when you hear your favorite song on the radio or embrace
the lip glossed girl under the halo.

But these privileges, these spoils, are reserved for the elite.
NOT the button pushers. Those willing to play the game to
the bitter limits. Those willing to let go
How can any guy ever expect to score if hes not going to
play not going to fully engage the game?! The trenches
are a tough place. To the victor go the spoils.

Maybe most guys reading this will be coming from a place

of fear and scarcity. Deploy your episodic memory to that
fateful night as your index fingers descended on your
keyboard: double-u, double-u, double-u, dot, google, dot,
com. Enter string: how to get girls.
And before your eyes appeared a myriad of companies and
products, promises and prophecies, you too could be a
pimp-pornstar-playa. Just like the abs machine stowed
away in your garage or closet.

Skeptically, farcically you engage these magic pills why

not? You have nothing to lose. Except your virginity. Your
real virginity. That movie Hitch couldnt be real could it?!
Who could possibly help a guy like Albert?!
So you hit the field, like that first day at school all over
again, you channel your excitement, you vodka and you
peer over you left shoulder and initiate the conversation.
And like the plunging handle of the TNT ignition your
game spontaneously combusts!
The girls are actually talking to you!
You think you totally rock!


You talk to all your friends about the numbers you got and
how she was totally into you!
You begin to think of yourself as the guy who gets the girls.
Impervious to the bad reactions that you never risk
exposing yourself to.
But then, in a heart skipping a beat moment you realize
that you might not be as good as you thought you were
after all you havent even read all the other companies
guides on how to get girls. You could never be complete
until you have consulted every stitch of published Poooah
But, does anyone ever stop to think that you already have
all the content you ever needed, the biology and the desire.
Sure this stuff has some great insights and even training
wheels but I can assure you it is not the answer it is the
motivation, it is the guidance or catalyst.


Dont be the metaphor of the bucket with the content hole

in it.
IT IS A GAME. THE GAME! Humans have been playing
it for millions of years.
Like to blur of stars in the jump to light-speed propel your
imagination forward to 8pm Saturday night
The apex of the social week. People go out for the sake of
going out, the crowds are getting drunk to try their luck
screw, spew and fight. Its hectic, theres lines, lines,
covers, dancing, lasers and smoke. Stargate your ass into a
battlescape between social-sexual good and evil. Some
cant hack it, some save their altercation for the aisles of
the local DVD store. Adam Sandler or Jenifer Aniston?

Why do men play sport? Its a celebration of your
masculinity, a release and exertion of yourself onto the
world in all of its grandeur. What happens when you get the
door of the venue? The venue clerks confirm you
chronology, take a moment to confirm your gender.

No really, what does it say on your ID?

Why do men all over the world go to the gym, jog, compete
whether win, lose or draw? The fun is in the process! The
sweetest victory is the one hard earned. Some dont even
get the chance to play. Forced into early retirement. Till
death do they part. Cue the solemn eulogy.
Ten PM Saturday night. Bitch shields are operating at full
capacity, you bounce in and out of sets. Like a kamikaze
pilot you continue head-on into your destiny. You dont
know what will happen but you persevere. The glory is not
in the number not in the kiss tally. Not in the pseudo
IOIs. The glory is in the quest. The twinkling twilight zone.

The close.
As you get deeper and deeper entrenched into the battle,
you plow through, your very identity being tested,
suppressing fire is heavy and tests you to the very tether of
your masculinity. Youre on your path no one can reroute
your intentions.
They try, your ego-social-persona is bruised beyond repair.
Your abandon it indifferent to future circumstances, bulletproof you subscribe to no structure no one can contain you,
control you or predict you.


The injection of the energy is your purposeyour

momentum builds and others are drawn into it. Just enough
momentum to compensate for your weary and failing
efforts, enough take you over the threshold
Like matrix bullet time you see yourself in third person
slow motion, your heart beats audibly in your own ears,
your calibration is tight, you are executing the most
difficult of maneuvers as though they had been pre-wired
into your consciousness?!
You connect with your unstifled natural self. Where have
your adversaries gone? The suppressing fire was too much,
driven back to the wall of shame they look on, egos
diminished, taciturn and wide eyed.
Those on the battlefield acknowledge your gallantry, valor
and masculinity. Sets are blowing wide open all around you,
everybody knows you, the social standard. The fixed axel
of realitys whirring wheel. The fruits of your passion and
path: You are the femininely chosen one.
One AM. You are ushered surreptitiously and deservedly
deep into the twilight zone.


You move slowly and calculated through your zone. Your

party is siphoned onto others, in gratitude youre hydration
is assured. Bitch shields erode, rendered feeble in light of
persistence, in light of your path.
You can do no wrong, verbal communication fades to black.
The sparkle of your eyes and the authenticity of your smile
communicates your intentions and internal state to all
whom are engaged by it.
The sweet and unmistakable smell of gorgeous cosmetics,
the long flowing two-toned blond hair of the lip glossed,
lightly freckled aerobically toned goddess. Her warm
embrace, sparks flutter to the ground as you draw her in.

Her soft lips on yours, the dissipation of endorphins, the

banquet of glory.
It didnt used to be this wayemotional scars, leverage and
bitter memory of the trenches are a distant but fervent
reminder of your ghost self.
You made it. You are the naturally attractive guy.
You are the Hero.
Perception is projection.




Brain Psychology.
Thursday, March 6th, 2008

I had just finished a bootcamp in Winnipeg. Closed the deal

and had a huge week lined up in LA. Flight was delayed so
I perused the bookstore looking for something new and
There on the shelf, in its entire eye catching marketing
glamour was the book that completely turned my program
and my game on its head. The book that would confirm
academically a lot of the theories and experiences that I
already knew. It gave me the most important perspective

than any guy who has the intentions of improving this part
of his life need to be aware of.
Sceptically I inspected the book, guessed that it would be
like so many other anecdotal, quick fix how to flirt piece
of shit books out there. Reading the info about the author i
quickly discovered that her expertise was verified with
decades of experience in the field of relationship
psychology and neuropsychology.
Basically put, it described the mechanical workings of the
brain. The Author, Louann Brizendine M.D. is a
neuropsychiatrist at the university of California and the
founder of womens and girls mood and hormone clinic.
If anyone from the academic area is qualified to offer
insight into the working of a female mind it is this woman.
The book is primarily designed to address the differences
between male and female brains, as Brizendine argues all
research on the brain has historically presumed that it is a
male brain in question.
More than anything the book contrasts the differences
between male and female brains, development, hormonal
characteristics and the behaviour that one could expect in
light of certain neurological activity.
At university this was the focus of my studies and I
thoroughly benefited from and enjoyed this book.


Although a lot of amazing epiphanies are outlined in this

book the ones most applicable to mens self actualisation
and understanding of social dynamics I will cover in detail.
Being a biologist Brizendine is an advocate of evolutionary
theory and supports all of her facts empirically from this
perspective. The basic idea is that emotionally, we are
essentially monkeys with a cognitive computer strapped on
In addition to this it is presupposed knowledge that the
more a person performs a certain activity the more brain
cells are assigned to that task. This overtly supports the
Real Social Dynamics directive to get into field.
On an emotional level, humans have the reproductive
emotional brains of cats, dogs or chimpanzees, but, evolved
a higher cognitive brain to consciously regulate these
emotions, build pyramids, design computers and develop


Examples of this might be when you interact with a woman

from another language. Given that you cannot logically
communication via the traditional words the emotional
channels are tapped into and attraction for both the man and
woman is amplified, or rather unstifled, because there is
less higher cognitive brain involved to interfere.
Reproduction made simple. Just like mammals.
Furthermore, people drink to delete the cognitive brain that
restrains them from being themselves, trusting themselves
and acting through their own intentions.
Confidence happens when you perceive that nothing holds
you back.

When do most people sleep together? When they are

drinking or drunk. This is a result of a combination of
social conditioning (advertising campaigns) and
neurochemical reactions.
Neurologically, the alcohol has an inhibition effect on the
cognitive brain, effectively unshackling the more primal
emotional brain that was being held in check by the
conditioned higher cognitive brain.
Is alcohol crucial to achieving sex? Of course not. But
Brizendine confirms academically the knowledge that the
community has so long been aware of and implemented.
Brizendine clearly states that female sexual arousal begins
when the brain turns off.
Of course most men would read this and instantly think, get
her drunk. Thats socially expected and conditioned from a
young age. But another, more effective way of doing this is
engaging the brain, whilst sober, illogically.
When I use the word illogically I mean saying things that
dont quite make sense, random non-sequesters, physical
charisma and unpredictability. This can come in the form of
something funny, which in actual fact is an element of
surprise and an emotion spike. Witty comments that add an
unforseen perspective on a situation, a sudden change of
mood to anger or excitement.
An unknown adventure, thrills and uncertainty. All of
which are emotional spikes, which guys like Tim, Tyler,
Jeffy, and Ryan~ have been talking about for years.

Imagine that womens emotional brain and logical brain are

like a counterbalanced scale. The more she is logical, the
less she is emotional. The more she is emotional the less
she is logical. Ask any executive coach about what happens
to a girl when she becomes emotional, or in other words
detached from logic.

Sex happens when the brain is turned off according to

Brizendine. Engage her emotionally and disregard logic she
will fall into your communication frame, get her state from
you and become very sexually aroused.
Contrastingly, have you ever engaged women in a logical
conversation? Where are you from, what are you doing,
where did you go to school, I have a friend who has a
jealous ex girlfriend who keeps pictures of some other girl
in his draw and its a two part question. Pretty gay. Boring
and incongruent with whom you are as a man. To the

woman, as long as you are predictable and logical attraction

will be about as accessible to you as Area 51.
The logical emotional balancing act as outline by
Brizendine is in support of the Alpha Male Beta Male
theory. Emotionally and illogically she desires the alpha
and the rush that comes from him. Logically and
cognitively she thinks it best to be with a committed stable
guy. She is right on both counts and is continually at the
mercy of the push pull miscommunication between the
logical and emotional brains.
As a side note, the formula that should be adapted for group
theory should be friendly and logical with the targets
friends while being flirty and illogical with the target
Essentially flirting is illogicality.
A lot of guys fail to remember the constant neurobiological
civil war that is constantly being ranged inside of any
woman. With the exception of some birth control pills and
other treatments. On a monthly basis woman undergo a
literal rollercoaster of hormonal changes.
To look at this graphically as depicted in the book is quite
astounding. For two weeks of the month there is relative
peace, then a short period of acute heightened sexual desire
(bought on by the release of testosterone) then a string of
days when a woman can become irritable emotional and
easily upset.


Anecdotally some people think that the reason why number

thirteen is unlucky because women have thirteen menstrual
cycles during a calendar year. I have no idea about the
accuracy of this information. Interesting though.
This chemical-behavioural fluctuation is further testament
to the Real Social Dynamics ideology of living in a strong
and self sustained reality. Women are drawn to men who
serve as the grounding energy amongst the chaotic world.
When her emotions are running wild, an unreactive,
assertive and decisive man serves as the stability that is
biologically challenging to maintain. This is another way of
interpreting the notion of masculine polarity Tyler dissects
in the Blueprint.
Be sure that due to womens emotional fluctuation there
will be fluctuation in her behaviour and psychology. In the
eyes of a traditional community student this will come
across as tests. Be unreactive to these tests and you will
have just the sort of strength and self trust that she will
naturally gravitate towards. Moral of the story is to be
internally centred, unreactive and radiate a strong reality.
To further crystallise the notion of gender polarity you can
think of men as independent entities and women as the
forces connecting them, binding groups and circumventing
social turbulence. Historically women relied on men for
their physical wellbeing. Although modern society has
super ceded this primal pattern there is no escaping the
emotional and psychological urges to fulfil this innately
wired societal role.


The basic emotional brain ceased significant evolution

thousands of years ago as it was already totally equipped to
pair bond, reproduce, naturally select worthy mates and
protect children. These properties still exist today strong as
ever but are somewhat stifled by cognition.
Have you ever had a women tell you that shes
complicated? This is the internal war between the modern
brain and the primitive brain. The logic of stability versus
the offspring of the dashing. Understand this objectively
and fulfil both criterion.
On a deeper level how is it that women in pre-language
primitive situations and still today intuitively understand
others thought and emotions with the skill level that
Brizendine quotes rivals a psychic? Anyone who has
spent time in the field will know just how perceptive
women are, they know all about you before you open your
The self is always coming through. This is the bottom line
of natural game.
The psychological take on this never published prior to this
book explains this phenomenon in a way that truly shook
my perception of game and is on the same level of the
As a man you have a generally good perception of how
people really are regardless of their actions and
behaviours. Women however have ten times this perception,
and the level of intuition borders on freaky.


The perception itself evolved as a result of lacking physical

ability. Instead of physical intervention or evasion
perceptual interpretation and intuition would identify
potential danger quickly and allow for the nullifying or
evasive action.
Realise that whenever you are in the presence of women
they will know instantly how you are feeling.
The most interesting part is how they do this. Of course
there is no telepathy involved. What Brizedine reports is
going on is a process called mirroring. Some may be
familiar with this in the context of NLP, which is creepy.
However women naturally do this continually to make
sense of the emotions the people they interact with are
experiencing. Their rate and depth of breath mimic a mans,
their posture mirrors the mans, the muscle tensions of the
man is internalised by the woman, facial expression is
matched and women begin to process emotions herself as it
they were the mans she is interacting with.
In community talk this process would occur most acutely
when women are congruence testing men. This is testing
for any sort of cognitive dissonance, apology, nervousness,
self doubt or ego on his behalf. If the reading is positive for
these negative emotions you can be sure that it is unlikely
the women will endure an interaction where there is
nothing but anxious feelings
to be experienced.


By that same principle if you approach a girl in a fun

positive state she will instantly internalise it to perceive
what sort of guys you are. If its high state or nimbus, fun,
thrills, excitement or self trust she will internalise all the
same things. Women are receptive by nature, drawing state
from the world around whereas men draw it from within
and siphon it onto others.
The real key to having a good night and getting girl boils
down to the sole fact that whatever you are experiencing
emotionally is exactly what she will experience.
Unless the case is that she has a stronger frame or reality
than you.
Imagine you go in anxious about picking her up. She will
internalise anxiety and you are done. Consider you think
that she has more value than you, she will experience your
feelings of neediness and be repelled. Contemplate
approaching hopeful of getting a number, make out or any
other form of close. She will instantly experience your
feelings of hopefulness, or more accurately your lack of
self trust. She doesnt like the feeling of not trusting herself.
Youre done.
Now, imagine youre in state.
Nimbus ablazeshe will feel it a mile away and pug in as
quickly as possible.
Imagine you decide to believe your game is a fucking ten,
she will feel the allusive feeling of self trust that often
escapes a women and be drawn quickly in.

Imagine you are the bringing the party, you are radiating
fun. She will instantly get greedy and want some of that too.
But its ok because you can turn water into wine, you will
never run out of goodness.
This is my ultimate rule of game
whatever you are feeling is what she will feel.
This is the pillar of flawless natural game. Instant attraction.
You cannot control what she is feeling, but you can control
what you are and your experience.
Similarly, during a congruence test a woman is enjoying
your company and enjoying the feelings you are giving her
but will test the strength of your reality and frame. A man
whos feelings change as a result of a failed test (emotional
reactivity) will influence the girls emotions negatively and
she will most likely be done with him.
It is empowering to know that if you express yourself to the
right tune, feel good, genuinely trust yourself and live a
perceptually fulfilled life women will never be far away.
The self is always coming through.
Be the music,
People will feel you loud and clear,
And be moved.



Expression vs Impression. Natural Attraction.

Wednesday, April 16th, 2008

Hey gang. I recently discovered something called the 8

minute ABS. LBToo from my Toronto program gave me
the great suggestion. Buddy, great recommendation.
This working out stuff is helping on my charge to some
kind of modelling contract. Operation Charlie kilo full
My other life goal is understanding and teaching natural
game. The execution, breaking down and teaching to others
of natural game.
Do you ever notice that when you are just having that on
night you can just do anything and it all just goes to plan.
You are generating massive attraction just by doing the
things that come naturally to you. Just by being yourself.
It happens the same way that you always find love when
youre not looking for it.

But what if you wanted to find and generate that love and
take control over the situation.?
Let me help you understand it and allow you to have a
stronger conscious control over the situation.
To help you pick up girls.
NOW! As we all know, for those who read Alex~ blogs
and RSDnation Attraction = Higher Value plus a full range
of emotions. I even made a graphic for you to put as your
screen saver, desktop or even to print off and put on your
wall or in your diary.

If anyone asks what it is, say its quantum physics. Which I

think on some level it might be.
Now, this idea of expression not impression mirrors very
closely the dichotomy between the entertainer guy (a guy
who games girls) and the sexworthy man (a guy who
naturally generates attraction where ever he goes and has
girls gaming him).
One the one side of the coin, the entertainer chode is taking
action in order to impress the girls he is surrounded by.

What he does is forced, certainly unnatural and for the most

part he will actually feel manipulative while he is doing it.
One the other side of the coin the entertainer chode will be
acting in a way that will attempt to retain an impression
(reputation) that he doesnt want to be compromised. In
other words he is totally stifled and is inundated in caring
what people thinks of him.
This guy experiences the feeling of walking on eggshells.

He is acting in accordance with the impression he is trying

to project. Given the fact that it is merely an impression it
is ultimately incongruent with who he really is.
If he feels that the *self he is* really isnt good enough to
express to the world. This self must be pretty lack lustre.
Basically, a mere impression of your true self is an EGO,
and a dirty word in these parts.


So picture this. You roll up with a routine. The goal is to

impress a certain reaction upon the girls you are *trying* to
The problem with classic game is that everything is done
through these filters. And ultimately it is a lower value
display. Instead of doing things your way you are always
trying to game the girl, fit around her reality and play the
contingency that you perceive will best suit her.
Furthermore you will probably be misinformed about what
contingency will best suit her.
Whilst you are in the impression mindset you are heavily
cognitively active.
Called being conscious.
Called being logical.
Called being inside of your head.


These two things are basically state antidotes and will

continue to hold you back from your potential. While other
guys are
letting go and just having fun you will be thinking about
the impression your angle of approach is going to make.
The notion of expression versus impression is related to
most aspects of being cool, and importantly achieving the
by-product of natural attractiveness.
Take for example the classic I dont buy girls drinks
mentality of the community.
Imagine you roll up and propose to the fine young lady that
you are going to buy her a drink thinking that is a cool
thing to do and it will make the impression that you are a
rich, thoughtful and socially savvy.


The moment the girl experiences this, her subconscious

mind will ask the question if this guy has to put up an
elaborate front, is the real guy behind the front *not good
enough* for me to see? Is he embarrassed or ashamed to
show his real self?!
If you have to do something impressive to perceive
yourself to offer value to a women **to achieve high
value** is to make it clear to her that you didnt have more
value than her to begin with.
if you are buying the drinks becuase thats just what you do,
and a means through which you express yourself: thats cool.
Your not doing in order im make an impression, your
coming from the mindset of generous guy whos taking the
initiative of starting the party. To you, buying a round of
drinks isnt a big deal.
trust me when i say that girls can tell the difference
between guys who buys drinks to impress them, and guy
who buys drinks becuase thats just what they like to do.
So that kills off the HV component of the natural
attraction formula. What about the range of emotions?
Now for those impression seekers out there it is possible to
expose a woman to a full range of emotions. These are

often done in field tested routines that are designed to

entertain and offend.
Button pushing bullshit.

You will get some great visual reaction to these things, but
in your experience do you close these girls or do they just
want to be friends? You might game them and game them
and game them only to be met by an armada of last minute
resistance to use an old school community term.
For example the dancing monkey. Put the girl through a
bevy of positive emotions, clowning about, making her to
laugh at you, wearing clown like attire. Putting on quite a
What happens when the show is over? The girls look for a
guy they can game. Someone unpredictable and hard to get.


Oftentimes the girls dont even consider that the dancing

monkey guy was interested in them.
Sometimes the girls realise that the dancing monkey guy is
into them, and they know they can have him any time while
hes there trying to impress them.
Not exactly a game or challenge for the girls.
High value things are perceived to be hard to get.
Remember, if youre the one doing all the impressing, then
the girls dont have a chance to impress you. If they dont
have an opportunity to impress you then you will not have
an opportunity to see them for who they are. If you dont
see them for who they are then they will rationalize that
you only like them for their looks and sex.
The more they have the chance to impress you is like them
making an investment in you. The more they make an
investment, they more they want a return from this
investment. Namely, you, your time and your attention.
As for the negative spectrum of the range of emotions. I
forget what the traditional community name for it is. But I
think the idea is that you say something negative about the
girl in order to knock her down a peg or get her to pay
attention to you.
This probably will work the same way as if you insult
someone. But as soon as they get back up from their
lowered peg they will lose interest in you as you return to
a place of relatively lower value than the girl. Or, if you do

just straight out insult the girl she wont even talk to you to
begin with. An ever quicker way to lose the interaction.
While trying to impress a range of emotions in a girl will
elicit a visible and marketable range of emotions and most
times validate some kind of impressers ego your still just a
clown in the club.

From time to time you will see guys like this. Give them
credit for getting out of the house. Soon enough, out of
necessity of not getting laid they will learn the error of their
ways and switch it up.
It would be wrong to say that impression doesnt work.
Impression will not result in you getting laid.
Actually, my mistake.
Impression makers simply will not have success unless the
girl makes an overruling decision that she wants to get laid.
But this guy will still be a low value guy and rarely get laid.

And will have trouble maintaining healthy relationships.

Unless he really is a great manipulator.

Neither impressed good emotions nor impressed bad

emotions satisfy the criterion of HV or a range of
Expression is the way.


Be the music~.
The notion of expression is to exhibit yourself in an
uninhibited, unstifled way. The overt communication of
how you feel.
Expression is a true and authentic communication that is a
by product of being unstifled.
Expression IS acting through your own intentions. Rather
than trying to impress others.
you dont give a fuck what anybody thinks of you

you do what you want when you want

you are unapologetic
He who expresses his true self has integrity. What you see
is what you get. It is authentic and as a result satisfies the
HV component of the natural attraction formula.
You see, if you dont care what anyone else thinks of you,
if you are unapologetic about your actions and you are truly
internally centred and everyone around you becomes lower
value to you in your reality.
Doesnt mean they are low value people. Its just relative.
You are the common denominator in every set. And instead
of getting caught up trying to play the specific girl you do
your own thing.

An expresser offers value naturally and intrinsically.

Attraction is a function of your ability to put your
personality on the line

Confidence happens when you perceive that nothing holds

you back
An expresser is not held back by the opinion others harbour
of him.
he does not give a fuck what anybody thinks of him
But he does take every pride in the way he expresses
himself. He Makes an effort to decorate himself. He speaks
well and takes the time to groom properly. He doesnt do
these things for others. He does it because of self worth and
He doesnt give a fuck how people receive him. Because he
knows he has committed time and effort to expressing
himself properly.

An example of a non expressive opener would be asking

for someones opinion. Ultimately when asking for an
opinion you are reacting to whatever statement (the
opinion) is made.


Conversely, opening with expression would be to begin to

talk about something you are passionate about or something
that entertains yourself first and foremost.
Putting your personality on the line.
I like salad.
Me and my friends just got back from Vegas where we got
married, we never expected to. but hey now I can list
myself as divorced on face book! Awesome.
Yo so me and my friend have a plan, we trying to act gay
to get the gay guys over there to buys us drinks. Were
actually geniuses, but we have never been tested so right
now its just suspicion and propaganda. But were working
hard to satisfy the curiosity of the nation.
so hey, do you guys know the directions to the house of
parliament? We just got the afternoon off work and we
thought we might play a bit of capture the flag with the
government. You see the bar isnt open for another 4 hours
and we thought today we should earn our drinks with some
political insubordination.


Expression is about self entertainment.

Tim said: game is a celebration of yourself. The longer
you ponder this quote you realise the validity of it.
The more you can celebrate yourself in an unstifled way the
more you can freely express yourself.
You become the centre of your own word and move to a
place of tight inner game.
If you turn your attention to self expression you generate
value out of thin air. Magnetic value. The sort of value that
compels people to become involved with you.
Being expressive is the conveyance of your internal
centred-ness. Certainly a high value trait.
But does expression allow for a full range of emotions?


Yes but not as directly as impressers. It is a by product.

When expressing yourself you are making statements and
establishing a strong reality. To everyone involved with
this they are living in reaction to you. Orbiting you.
In any interaction there is someone reacting more to the
other person. This person who is reactive is experiencing
emotions as reality is being dictated to them. Each new
reaction is an emotional spike in and of itself.
If you were to change topic, emotion spike. If you make a
self entertaining joke: emotion spike. As the girl realises
that you value her to a lesser degree than you value
yourself: emotion spike. If you tease the girl for being less
cool than you, because you genuinely think so: emotion
spike. If you demand to see how tall she really is by
positively dominantly requesting that she remove one
high heel: emotional spike.


A range of emotions through expression works much the

same way as the emotions you might experience as you
play a computer game or read a book. In the instance of a
book the author expresses themself through story and the
reader gets caught up in the emotions of the story and lives
in reaction to the book.
In the instance of a computer game, like Tetris for example,
as the blocks speed up, you live in reaction to them and a
sense of anxiety, fun, and sense of urgency come over you.
Emotional spikes.


To re-state, these emotional spiking is a by product, not

deliberate as though you were trying for rapport.

Expression is about going through the world for you, being

the common denominator and living freely unstifled by the
world around you. Expression is about communicating high
value through self entertainment and unpredictability.
However, expression can become impression. If you use an
opener for the first couple of times you wont really have a
good idea of what you are gointg to expect in terms of
reaction. When you have no expectation then it can only be
coming from a place of expression. You doing it for you.
After repeated use you get a sense of what to expect and
you begin to use the line in order to illicit a specific
reaction. you move away from expression and the opener
is delivered for the purpose of impression.
Girls pick up on this and instead of you communicating
high value, you are perceived as being low value.
Unsatisfactory in terms of the natural attraction formula.


Expression is about making it happen and the world living

in reaction to you. Each reaction they experience is an
emotional spike.
Expressers have high value and they expose others around
them to a full range of emotions.
They are naturally attractive by being congruent with
themself, they are not held back.

So, next time youre not having that on night ask

yourself: am I doing things in order to impress others, and
to try and prevent making bad impressions on others? If
the answer is yes then your in impression mode.
Switch it up, make the move, start acting through your own
intentions. What would entertain you, what do you want to
do, how can you mix things up? Do your thing, lead your
own life and people will begin to react to you.
Dont forget to escalate. Escalation is an expression of
sexual desire. Dont suppress it.


Jeffy says: game is your expression of inner state,

conveyed by the rhythms you use to direct the social energy
of the interaction.

Expression, not impression.

Be the music~


How to drink.
Friday, April 18th, 2008
I used to be an expert on this one.
It was kinda difficult going from drunken lifestyle to social
lifestyle. I wondered how they would fit together.
But basically, gaming drunk is like driving drunk. You
wont be able to stop yourself from making mistakes. Even
though you will be able to tell that you are slurring, staring
at cleavage and urinating on the bar.
These things are embarrassing and unbecoming.
Hanging out with the boys and drinking is a whole nother
I watched a clip online recently featuring Dr Phil. He was
interviewing turbo girls that frequented Hollywood social
When posed the question: what do girls like in guys that
approach them in the bar?
They didnt know. They can recognise what is attractive it
in an instant but will never be able to articulate it.
If a girl could tell you what she liked in a guy who
approached her in a bar then that would be like the maths
teacher giving away the answers to the maths test.


She wouldnt really test you to see what type of guy you
a re .

Of course, this isnt a conscious process. It is

subconsciously prewired in light of millions of years of
natural selection. Evolution.
The turbos response was: someone who isnt drunk.
Drunk confidence is false confidence and substitute from
true self esteem.
So what then is the answer? No drinking?
But Alex~ i hear you cry in despair I appreciate
Alcohol is good, but not as a confidence catalyst or a sense
of escape. Drinking for the product is excellent.


But there are many terrible repercussions of drinking. It is

expensive. It is bad for your teeth. It will make you do
things that will embarrass you and make you do things that
you will regret.
It will make you fat. And you will develop a tolerance.
Beer will bloat you. Sugar based spirit drinks will cause
you to have a sugar high then crash, and make you fat.
Energy-vodka drinks combine and inhibitory and an
excitatory combination of drugs that really has a nullifying

Plus, a drunken night has the added repercussions of a lost

day afterwards. I used to lie around all day on Sunday
thinking I could have done sooo much more today.
After a while I bit the bullet and got a job from 5am until
8pm every Sunday. Rational was: may as well be on
someone elses time when I am drunk.

Made some good money working in a fruit shop drunk as

fuck. Fell asleep in the cardboard bin once and made 25
dollars. Annnd I dated the checkout girls .
Plus if you want to go out a few nights a week you simply
cannot drink. The body cannot repair itself ready to be
spritely for the next night.
But where does alcohol come into the game. The girls love
to drink and its outside a lot of peoples reality that you
could go out and not drink.
You can be a pick up guru. But if what your doing is
outside of your girls reality it simply wont register and
hence-forth: wont fly.
Alcohol is solely good in that is creating a resource for
which you can blame your actions, as opposed to blaming
yourself. Or her blaming herself.
Similarly to this, in terms of development, a lot of people
have their first sexual experiences while drunk. As a result
drinking is conditioned to have strong sexual connotations.


I can think of more than ten instances when i have been

with a girl who has had few drinks who begins to stumble
around drunk in order to attribute her impending frivolous
behaviour to booze rather than her own desires.
Understand that if a girl guys you a drink this is whats
going on. She will usually buy herself one as well. An
added intention of hers might be to inhibit you so you hurry
the fuck up and make a move.
So, for example, at the end of a date or after the club and
yall back at your house dont be afraid to pour a glass or
wine or shake up a cocktail. Its the hospitable thing to do.
And remember, men and women both love to have sex.
Except, you need to take EVERY RESPONSIBILITY for it


Dont get people drunk. The minute you even have a

inclination that she feels uncomfortable back the fuck up.
Otherwise, fraternise on.
Another more universal rule is that you can only hit on girls
less drunk than yourself. Sometimes binge drinking is a
necessity to morally move things forward.
What then do you drink in the bar?
After several lengthy (fun) months of experimenting with
alcohol-gaming combinations my conclusive result is
straight gin!
Served straight, no ice, tall glass. I dont know what it
would be called. If I had to name it I would call it the
piece of cunt.
Good evening barkeepe, may I please order a piece of
Well yes gentle-sir, wet or dry?
I see it now.


Advantages of the straight gin in the tall glass are the

It tastes like shit so you drink it slow and dont get drunk.
It tastes like shit, so every time you take a sip you get a
pattern interrupt in your mouth and it jolt your state.
It tastes like shit so you drink it slow and save money.
It tastes like shit so its a great conversation piece and
signature of your masculinity and bragging right amongst
more Justin Timberlake kinda guys.
Its served in a tall glass which is always slim, so unlike
bigger beer glasses such as pints, pitchers and schooners it
can be held at the waste.
Sidenote: beer glasses outright cause you to stand like a
chode, leaving you hiding behind your hand and your arm
away from the scary world.

Its served in a tall glass so unlike beer, spirits and so on and

so forth cocktails it wont be spilt fucken everywhere.
Sidenote: if you want to knock a drink onto someone: get a
full glass of water, hold it as though you were about to take
a swig and get a friend to help you knock it in a desired
direction. (sub-sidenote: use with discretion)
It tastes like shit, like the strongest alcohol you have ever
tasted so you tend to feel tipsy while having the blood
alcohol content of between 0 and 0.01.
Gin is the way.
If you are having a bachelor party I would recommend
drinking a keg.
Otherwise, dont defy the turbos
Served Chilled.





Back to Basics: Hook Questions, the New Stuff.

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
Getting Back to Basics.
The best are not those who perform the sporadic amazing,
its those who execute the basics better than anyone else
who are in
a league of their own.
Hey everyone.
Its been a while. Reason: been hitting it up back home in
Australia. And guess what, they dont have a whole lot of
internet here.
Even where I am staying.
And, Ive been neck deep training instructors and tuning up
the natural superconference. Very productive. But right
now its time to get back to basics.
Ive spent some time at grass roots level again this week,
both as a spectator at a lair meeting


and giving an RSD free workshop.

Doing program 6 nights a week and travelling from city to

city only hanging with the best I tend to forget that mindset
of the average community guy, where hes coming from
and what he needs.
When we as instructors are trying to focus on improving
and innovating the latest stuff its only really applicable to
the best.

While it inspires salivation to those who are ready for it, for
the average community guy its waaaaaaaaaaaay over their
But we take this stuff ridiculously seriously and it is the
ultimate passion and the backbone of our lifestyle.
So, I hereby present a nuRSD guide for the beginner.
Something you can digest right here and now, go out and
use that will
orient you in line with the new school mind-set-ologies that
were getting massive success with.
This is geared towards a total newbie. And for the more
advanced, give it a go. Your ability to replicate the basics
consistently will provide the foundations for you to
springboard towards the more spectacular highlights this
community has to offer.
Think new RSD think emotional communication, think
inner game.

Good inner game naturally results from plenty of social and

life experiences. Best way to do this of your own accord is
to immerse yourself in and embrace life.
You have so many experiences in life that you truly
develop harmony with the fact that you are the only
common denominator.


Your focus turns to you: you are internally centred.

But if you have never been out, to those to whom this
article is directed heres a shortcut.
Social day deluxe:
In prep talk to everyone, enjoy the banter not for the
content but rather the emotions that are shared. Dont
discriminate with people. Give the expression to young old,
male female, attractive and repulsive.
Dont discriminate. If you do, then when you get to that girl
of any value you will place far greater value on her than
anyone else.
You will find yourself involuntarily communicating
massive creepy-assed outcome dependence.
Dont discriminate. People dont have types. Your ideal
type is some ego construct that you perceive will
complete you as a
person. Yuk. Get a real mindsets.
People compliment you. Appreciate everyone. Like ice
cream, its all good, you can appreciate all of them, but
some flavours you will favour over others.
If I hear one more guy tell me he didnt close because he
thought the girl wasnt his type, because he really didnt
want to risk losing the girl by escalating the interaction Im
going to be more pissed about it than I was to begin with.


These folk are

essentially eunuchs.
I can just see it now, the girls all exited, she finally finds a
guy willing to approach, willing to take pride in the way he
presents himself to the world, a guy whos on his path, only
to be bitterly disappointed as he didnt actually have the
balls to close the deal.
She is left to thumb wrestle the little boy in the canoe.

(BTW I recently found out that mum reads this blog: hi

Its incongruent of you not to escalate. What will happen in
light of this is no more call backs, flakes and totally loss of
attraction due to your lack of self trust and sense of
So before youre even in the club, dressed neat and
smelling good you should have already spoken to plenty of
people in your day. You dont talk to them for them, you
talk to them for you, to celebrate yourself, to stretch your
emotional legs so to speak.

This is particularly important as you hit the club. Taxi

driver, parking chode, store clerk selling you gum, bouncer,
line folk, door chick, barkeep and promo girl.
To still be inside of your head after this roster of
checkpoints then there is a serious problem.
But Alex I hear you say, Im a chode victim, Im worse
than everyone.
Shut the fuck up I retort.
**argument ends**
Objectively identify that your subconscious is preventing
you from moving away from your old secure reality, its
holding you into place like adhesive. While sticky, its
nothing that some applied pressure cant overcome.
Do you want to get good at this? Yep. Detach and grow.
Like a seed falling from a tree. Tough to leave the secure
home zone you will have feelings of vulnerability initially
as you wonder whether you are going to make it.
You will take root and begin to sprout you will commence
the formation of your own new reality. Eventually it will be
strong enough that it will magnetically draw people into
your reality. Some people call this having a magnetic
You become the pillar.


So with that mindset objectively comprehended, your

internal centred-ness increases like a computer game level
up you enter the trenches.

In field every man starts equal.

Michael Jordan is not better than the average rookie.
Until he gets the ball in his hands.
His game statistics start at zero just like every other
players at the start of a game. Just like you at the start of
the night. Its not until MJ gets the ball in his hands that he
begins to dictate the direction of the game.
Its not until you take responsibility for your experience
that night that it becomes a productive worthwhile night.
That said, even if you dont make a move, you take
responsibility. You take the credit of chode.


At the beginning of the night, if you even think you might

possibly hesitate look around at one of the chodes in the
club. Remind yourself why you are better than this chode,
remind yourself that you took action and remind yourself
that this is the reason why
you are entitled to glory.
First set. Hottest girl you see. This is a warm up set. Cant
expect it to hook right? May as well do it with a self
perceived challenge. Nothing to lose, everything to gain.
Any result at all is a massive windfall.

The purpose of the exercise is to walk up and offer value. A

simple rule to follow is no questions. Involve people in
what you are doing, do not try and engage them. Involving
implies that you have your shit going on, attempting to
engage implies detracting from their time and energy.
How, as a newbie, can you do this? Talk stories, talk about
what you did today talk about your idiosyncratic intentions.

But remember that if these idiosyncrasies are beyond your

recipients reality it wont register.
For example, a beyond reality idiosyncratic topic is graphic
self imposed sex instances. Inside reality idiosyncratic topic
might be the world vision child you adopted.
Talk about abstract things. Stories and hypothetical
situations. You will find that while in social mood after a
day of priming that these sorts of value offering topics will
pop into your head instantaneously on a moment by
moment basis.
On the approach.
Get yourself feeling good. Think snap and bring on an
energetic feeling in yourself. A good way to generate this is
to bob your knees, clap your hands and force a smile. The
forced smile will then become and natural smile as you
realise how stupid it must
Try it now.
Feels good huh? Good state is always at your fingertips.
Now, for the purpose of this article, for those guys who
literally have zero social experience or calibration Im
going to give you a tried and tested verbal frame work to
defibrillate your social life.
And while the verbal delivery itself is very simple the
forces at play behind it serve a multitude of purposes.

Good game is a combination of inner game (your state and

strength of reality), outer game social skill sets (logistical
manoeuvres) and experience (social intuition and
I have outlined some basic ways of thinking about things
and an exercise to get good state, I will outline a social
structure to follow that doesnt require an Oracle level of
social insight to understand and execute instantly.
With a breaking rapport tonality your opening line is any
one of the following:
Are you guys smart?
Are you guys savvy?
Are you guys insightful?
Do you guys have wisdom?
Are you smarter than a fifth grader?
This opener is called a hook question. Opinion openers are
dead to me. Thanks VH1.
The idea of a hook question is to seeking out someone of
value to bounce an idea off. If they arent smart no worries
and no loss. Instant move on.


Ask another girl.

As you turn away, obviously indifferent to her value as a
woman your value becomes apparent much the same way
as a take away works.
No chance of a blow out. You are safe. No excuses. Get in
For the more experienced if you were to get a non-response
or negative answer to any of the above you can respond
with a simple good enough.
B: Are you guys smarter than a fifth grader?
G: Nope
B: Good enough(plow on)
Usually though you will get a dubious positive response.
Then ask another hook question.
Are you guys smart?


If you already have one yes, you will most likely get
This is a compliance ladder in and of itself. Also, with both
compliant response the girl is investing in giving you
smart/smarter than a fifth grader response.
As opposed to a classic opinion opener you will not trip
any sort of classic game radars in girls nor will you be
coming from a pace of lower value in need of an opinion,
you are essentially qualifying right off the bat.
Make note that in any interaction you set the frame in the
first ten seconds.
So, with a positive high value frame established, follow by
asking a simple opinion opener. For examples sake:
1. Do guys who drink out of a straws look gay?
2. Do you know where parliament house is?
3. Do you think my hair matches my shoes?
4. How many times should a guy date a girl before sleeping
with her?
5. Whats a better job, lawyer or Viking?
6. Who lies more, insomniacs or chronic fatigue syndrome
7. Is Brad Pitt dating Angelina Jolie for love or for status?


If you arent new to the community you know the value of

opinion openers. Simple and engaging. Anything on the
front of, or
might be found on the front of a gossip magazine works
Thing is, in light of her compliance to the original
qualifying questions she is likely to enthusiastically
respond. Great, youve hooked.
If she doesnt give a good and enthusiastic answer tease her
on her girly anti-smartness with examples such as
Youre a fucking dumb slut, get a real chromosome.
Haha, just joking dont say that.


a. Hold on, I thought you were smart!

b. Dammit, why arent any of you girls smarter than a fifth
grader, damned schools.
c. Too much drinking for you guys tonight, intuition is
d. I should charge your parents babysitter rates to chat with
you guys.
Then maybe they dont reply, nextem, preserve state.

Then maybe they fall back into your frame, give yourself
credit for good plowing.
They will most likely give a perfectly smart logical
response. Just like any opinion opener. But we all know
that logic is the arch nemesis of emotions. Time for an
immediate emotional spike. Emotional spikes correspond
with above numbered opinion openers.
1. No, thing is Im trying to look gay to score free drinks
2. Oh cool, we have a big game of capture the flag planned
for after tonights bar session.

3. No this hair, **point to groin** Im pretty slick on my

feet, (Self entertainment) haha no Im kidding, Im
fashionably special.
4. Oh, ok.
5. Cos as a Viking I can pillage plunder and conquer, but
come to think of it lawyer is the same, it just requires study.
6. Did you know a lot of prostitutes have chronic fatigue
7. You know probably neither, shes pretty hot.
All the continued responses are examples of unpredictable
thread chopping. These are emotional spikes, these are
These are examples of deliberate illogicality. Remember,
disengage the logical brain and the emotional brain sparks
Not only is it deliberate illogicality, it is self entertaining.
The sort of things that you might say to make yourself
The golden rule of natural game: whatever you feel, shes
Furthermore, when you borderline inappropriately reframe
the situation you are more than likely to draw a playful shit
test challenge. Breese past it and confirm your frame.
High value = attraction.


After these structural opening guides all you need is ANY

story to segue into and you have yourself a set. Where you
take it from
there is up to you. Just dont prematurely eject-ulate.
I hate it when that happens. D:
Involve the group with something along the lines of
You guys are all sisters arent you!
(Statement, they are reacting to you, cold read, self
They will answer.
You continue
Haha No! I meant nuns, suppressed promiscuity !
More thread Iron Chef-ery.


To get a number?
Hey I have to gobut we should be emotionally close
There you go.
In short these are core mindsets combined with a basic
verbal structure should be pre-product/bootcamp exposure
to get you started in field.
And in understanding the mechanics behind the methods
you go into field like a gun that has just been cocked.
Diagrammatically it would look like this:


Dont forget to give her a chance to invest in you.

Attraction is not something you do for her, she has to do it
herself. So stop trying.
Hook questions have hit the streets.
Opinion openers are dead.
nuRSD, Helping you to sleep soundly at night.


Ryan (Ryan~, Yahyah, Sparky_PUA, Malcom X, Yahyah
Jones Bitch)


What do you mean by Invisible Game Alex~? Fenix

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
Hey man
Most simply its game without bearing on IOIs.
Once you transcend this routiney twirly-whirly-ronaldmcdonaldism the entire game is played on the emotional
communication channels and becomes invisible to the
untrained/unexperienced eye.

Where as classic buttom pushing ronald-mcdonald-ism is

lower value button pushing, get the girl to react to you by
entertaining/negging her in order to get a visible reaction.
Invisible game is interesting, becuase if I do a demo it
looks the same as what a student would, but its gets an
entirely different result becuase it coming from a different
place and frame internally. Alot of different things are


Invisible game is when you know the girl is attracted to you

even though she isnt showing it.
If you do the right things and have the right frame of
reference she CANT NOT become attracted.
Similar to the way that any (biologically normal) guy
couldnt not be attracted to a supermodel in a bikini
climbing out of a pool.

Understand that when some girls get attracted to you they

will become terribly stifled because they dont want to fuck
up around you. Same way as guys get shy around girls
they have a crush on.
Or, they just dont want to give away thier power too early
so they dont come accross as slutty. They become
expressionless. Plenty of emotions are going on, but the girl
keeps them in check so as to retain a testing the guy frame.


The game is there, it just isnt overtly visible.

A Hollywood example is the courtship scene between Tom

Cruise and Penelope Cruz in the movie Vanilla Sky.
When Cruise finally kisses Cruz, and during the flirting and
lead up to the kiss Cruz shows no emotions. But the
audience and Cruise knows that she is into him.
[Note, its always on, if the girl is talkng to you she is into

After Cruise kisses Cruz, and he leaves and she is alone she
then proceeds to go crazy running around the room.
Making her formerly invisible game (emotions) visible.

Makes sense.
Realise that when you are a chill guy, who takes pride in
the way he expresses himself, who has self worth
You become the equivilant to what we would considier to
be model hot girl.
Thing is though, guys like us are alot more rare.




Phone Game: Your Missing Piece

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008
Scuse me, scuse me!
So, I have been neck deep in trying to figure out any type
of video editing program for the last two months and it has
seriously drained my life. Hence the lack of blog posts.
But, I have been gathering some sick-as new material for
the natural superconference and the upcoming free speech
tours that I am scheduled to ROCK!
They should change the names of these funky events to free
parties instead of speeches. Its a more accurate reflection
of the actual goings on. We originally envisioned very
studious academic situations of rumination.
Now: its like going to see an awesome movie that leaves
you thinking and changes your outlook on life.
So due to the absence of my writing Im giving out the
glory academia thats guaranteed to take you from club to
bedroom with every girl you meet.
Sixty per-cent of the time it works every time.
Nooooooo. Its actually the Real Social Dynamics latest
and greatest take on phone game.


Which, although only partially a black and white how to

guide, will help you massively tune up your game to link
the meet to the close and then ultimately the potential
relationship if thats your thing.
This article, unlike any other article published on phone
game comes from a perspective of natural nuRSD style.
Coming from the right place.
Let me start by first stating the importance of coming from
the right place. This place is where you can find guys who
respect themselves and value their opinions of themself
higher than others opinions of themself.
This mindset makes you the highest value person in your
reality. Others around you play subordinate roles in the
highlight reel that is your life. If you are the main dish they
are the garnishes.
Sweetening and enriching your experience, but never at the
expense of your own path and regard.


Remember when we talk natural game I cant stress

strongly enough the reiteration of the GOLDEN RULE.
Whatever you feel, she feels.
Whenever you have an influence on her reality, her
perceptual experience of the world, what you feel will play
a role in the constitution of her state.
If youre a cool carefree guy whos coming from the right
place you always feel good because you live in the now.
Luckily youre also a man who has the almost magical
ability to draw state from within. So stop being the victim,
harden the fuck up and take responsibility of your state
and look on the bright side.
You are at the helm of your own reality, steer it in a
constructive direction and others will follow.
Referring to the interaction itself I used to hear a lot of girls
use the terminology youre in. Which I eventually figured
out meant that she likes you.
Youre in means that she considers you a sexworthy guy.


Once youre in its only a matter of time and logistics

until physical intimacy occurs. Whether or not this
intimacy ever arises depends on your dedication to the
interaction, how far youre willing to take it.
A lot of guys dont even call the number, make the effort to
set the date, endure flakes, or go on a second date to
encounter the physicality. With the phone game/dating
game responsibility for things moving forward need to be
facilitated by you the man.
In terms of the interaction in person and on the phone at no
time do I deviate from my reality that everyone loves me.
Why wouldnt they? I offer value, dont take any without
asking nicely and Im usually fun or self destructively
entertaining to be around.


Strong perception equates to strong reality, so spread the

Furthermore this means staying true to myself and not
attempting to work the people I hang with. When I talk to
grandma she
loves me, when I talk to turbo club bitch its in my reality
that she loves me too. If there is any misunderstanding I
will help non-believers learn.
Strong perception equates to strong reality, so spread the
As for the phone game itself the underlying factor that will
define you phone game success is succinctly the following:
The key to good phone game is a good interaction RSD
circa 2005.
Good phone game isnt something that happens on the
phone, its something that happens in the field. It happens
in person.

What makes a good interaction?

For an interaction geared solely towards the intention of a
later date meet up there are a few misconceptions that will
be cleared up with the delivery of the following
And of course this info is a guide and collective experience
and there are always exceptions to the mainstream trends.
But understanding what works will help you to implement
a practise that will accelerate you results.
An interaction that is most likely to yield a day two meet up
is usually a low energy, low sexuality low fireworks affair.
Its generally short in duration as opposed to a several hour
long marathon.
It generally doesnt involve excessive physical escalation.
Makeouts on the first interaction are usually detrimental to
the prospects of the date.
Picture a chill comfortable light hearted anticipation
building interaction in a low energy environment. A social
meeting that inspires curiosity and mutual respect.
However this scenario is rare in an intense club setting. But
its not so uncommon earlier on in the night before energy
levels spiral out of control or much later on after the club
environment, maybe in a diner or food venue.


Some of the makers that consistently indicate a second

meet are mutual distinct feelings of this is an interesting
new person, its a very chill situation and she talks to you
enough to be able to tell you apart from all the other guys
in the club.
And with that you exchange numbers and on leaving you
state something to the tune of I will call you later. Having
done enough to inspire curiosity and leaving her generating
her own anticipation of what you might actually be like
when she gets to know you better but not going over the top
and being a drunk horn bag.

In the ideal phone game interaction its important that you

dont colour the canvas of your life to the point that she
doesnt have the chance to do any of that for herself.
These sorts of interactions usually start with Who are
you?! Or Hi, my name is **chilldude**.
Offer value, feel good, express dont impress, positive


Simple and sweet.

To quote the genius himself: Tyler

A date is most likely to arise from an interaction if the first

interaction is similar in context to how the second
interaction would be.
It is in her reality upon meeting you that she could see
herself dating you.
It is important that there is congruence between the you
that she meets and the you that she dates. Incongruence
shows a lack of self assurance and indicates that you play
the situation as opposed to staying true to yourself.
Of course there are hundreds of different contingencies that
pertain to this topic that have yielded dates. What Im
getting at here is a user guide to those who are
What you will find in the club is that everyone gives out
there number almost all of the time.
This includes married women, chicks with boyfriends,
chicks with girlfriends and even chicks who arent even
chicks at all.


This is a product of buying temperature in the moment of

the club. People act on impulse, plus its perfectly normal
to network with people. You might not actually date this
girl but she could hold the gate key to a fantastic new social
circle where you find yourself socially proofed before you
even meet the rest of her friends.

If the girls gives you her number it doesnt mean its date
time, it means she was having a good time at that point of
exchange. That state you put her in at that moment is all


that is needed to inspire networking. This in no way means

that you can expect to ever hear from her again.
Once she is out of sight assume nothing. Once you have no
more influence over her state realise that you no longer
play any role in her life until you further take responsibility
for it on the phone or again socially down the track.
Live in the moment, when shes in front of you or youre
on the phone to her shes in your reality, when youre not
with her or on the phone to her she is outside your reality.
You have a path that youre on, stick to it.
This is the same as with her, when youre not in contact
with her youre not a part of her reality. Dont waste time
speculating or even second guessing yourself. When youre
not with her dont give it a second thought. Date your girls,
or go out and meet some new ones.
After a while you will be able to tell which girls have
boyfriends and arent likely to call back and which girls are
looking to meet someone to date.
Remember the club is like a video game to her. Girls love
to go to clubs for the state they get from them, it is a
stimulus fest for girls. Similar to the last time you played
Grand Theft Auto on the Xbox, you had fun but do you
really remember the interchangeable details.


Well maybe the interesting, unique highlight details.

Be one of these.
Do this by being internally centred, being naturally
attractive and offer value through talking about you as
opposed to interviewing the shit out of her.
Cool interaction as per normal.
All of that said, it is obvious that numbers collected during
the day far outweigh club numbers due to all the above
listed reasons.
This is also true of after party numbers, diner numbers and
social circle numbers.
So if youre in date fishing mode hit up these scenarios for
stronger leads.
In the situation of intense nightclubs its important to get
the girl into the ideal interaction scenario for phone game
by bouncing from the venue with her afterwards and going
to get something to eat or just waiting and chilling outside
waiting for a taxi.
In terms of the actual interaction outer game heres the
most up to date guide known to man.
All of these tips are designed to amplify you opportunities
to create a good interaction and get her to remember you
more than every other guy and have your reality grounded
to hers.


There is no way to eliminate flakes. The measures listed

here are means by which to mitigate them. Ways by which
to make the interaction as good as possible.
The key to good phone game is a good interaction.
When it actually comes to proposing the number its very
straightforward and best done within the first five minutes
of meeting the girl.
Do it on a high note early on, this way her buying temp is
of course up from meeting someone new and for the rest of
the interaction she is talking to you through the filter of
this guy has my number.
The number is a formality. Remember it is the girl you are
interested in.
Ways to pitch for the number:
We should be friends, pass the phone.
We should network pass the phone.
I have to go but we should talk later pass the phone.
I have to get back to my friends pass the phone.
Basic stuff, but dont let this limit you.
If there is a lack of compliance pitch again, positive
dominant responsivity.
If there is outright objection go illogical and say that you
can just be emotionally close friends. If there is still no love
keep talking and continue to amp her attraction to you by


expressing yourself freely, offering value and being


You will get a lot of phone numbers.

Save the details of the girls whose number you get. You are
going to be in a position where you will be getting tens of
numbers a week. Save the date and place of the interaction
and maybe more.
For example: Samantha 6/13 fusion club.
When you get the number call her phone and tell her you
have. Its better to have her save your name there and then.
Get her to save it as something unique to you so she
For example: Alex 6/13 Godzilla penis. Or any other
relevant information.
At the point of exchanging numbers text her something self
amusing that doesnt try for rapport.
For example:

I am cool.
I love beer.
Chuck Norris can eat a Rubiks cube whole and reproduce
it solved.

Also it can be very good to text her your facebook or

myspace details at this point.
Myspace and facebook are modern day social tools that
arent to go unemployed. If you dont use these things you
are selling yourself short. You certainly dont NEED them,
but its an extra string in your bow.
Check out my myspace page:
www.myspace.com/treas_science. This was purpose
designed as the ultimate social resume. Add me on
facebook as well for a good guide as to how it should be set
up to show that you have things going on.
If you made even half a good impression you can be sure
she will be checking this stuff out at her first opportunity.
Make it work in your favour.


If you really want to get creative at the point of number

exchange you can take photos of each other with camera
phones or leave her a voice massage.
The voice message thing is good and I think the credit for
this goes to Manwhore from RSDnation. The idea is that
you call her there and then and interview her so that it get
saved into her voicemail box.
Doing this is another great way to set yourself apart from
the other guys and have her remembering you later on.
Getting numbers earlier on in the night is great to because
as you are a cool guy, each guy that approaches after that
will come along and put you into a golden perspective by
being fucking chodes.

Always be thinking in terms of INVESTMENTS AND

RETURNS (keep an eye out for an article coming soon).
By her giving you her phone number she has made an
investment in you. From any investment a person wants a


return. Further her investment with you with some rapport

By chatting about a combination of deep and wide rapport
topics she this investment will occur.
Practically an investment is her probing into your life by
asking questions, the same way that lots of chodes do this
in the club.
You can inspire this by talking about yourself and the
things you want to do and the thing you do that you think
are funny.
Making statements is offering value and if you dont go
over the top into dancing monkey mode you will find her
asking you more chode game questions. Girls have bad
game when they like you. When you get the interview
question you know that youre in.
This rapport is a great way to facilitate this and ground
your reality to her and render you a real person.
When taking the number its good to qualify her on it. Tell
her that she probably just gives her number out to every
guy and that she probably wont even remember you.
Simply saying this elicits investment in her behalf usually
in the form of No! Of course I will remember you! When
she goes to decide whether or not she will pick up the
phone this will play a part in her continued investment in
you. Credit to Jlaix for this one.


When you actually get the number dont walk away and
give your friends a high five. The interest is in the girl, not
the number.

Most of the time, after exchanging numbers the interaction

will continue for a while. If you do have to go straight
away make an effort to walk away on a high note, tell
another story, misinterpret something in a way that amuses
you and leave with a smile.
Dont high five your friends after the interaction.
Back onto the topic of grounding your reality enough so
that she remembers you it is imperatively important that
you qualify her to demonstrate your connection with her
and show her that you see her value other than her tits and
or ass.


A girl isnt likely to meet you purely on the grounds of

sexual interaction. It is of course possible, but more often
than not there needs to be logical rationalisation. There
always will be a reason why you want to send time with a
girl other than to sleep with her so dont be afraid to let her
know about it.
When you qualify her you tell her why she has value to you.
You want to point out something that sets her apart from
the other girls you meet in terms of her character traits.
Avoid aesthetic traits at all costs otherwise the girl will
interpret you as looking at her in terms of her aesthetics
She cannot rationalise making an effort to date a guy who
only looks at her in terms of her looks, but can very easily
rationalise seeing a guy who really connects with her.
Qualification is your modality to achieve this.
Qualification is very powerful if you have any sort of
personable intuition and you have been speaking to her for


a couple of minutes. You will very quickly get an idea of

what type of person she is and her strong points.
For example qualification would be structured like this:
1. I really like your xyz quality
2. Not many girls i meet have xyz quality
3. Why do you have this quality/what inspires this quality
in you.
1. I really admire the way you are brave under pressure
2. All the other girls would crumble at the first sign of
danger and scary things
3. Where do you draw your inner warrior strength from?

In terms of investments and returns after you ask her why

she has such a great quality she would be put into a position
where she will be inclined to invest in you again.


Girl: My bravery comes from the heart, and the

knowledge that someday I will experience true love in a
free land.
Boom, you have demonstrated that you appreciate her for
her and she will rationalise seeing you due to this fact.
Whereas so many guys lose out when setting up the meet
up because the girl perceives the guys mind is solely geared
towards sex even if he did appreciate her for her.
Credit to Jlaix for teaching me this qualification
This is the same for first interaction make outs. Shes likely
to get buyers remorse and her first interaction will be out
of character party girl that you wouldnt meet on the date.
By not making out you retain the ideology that you are
picking her up in a context that would be similar to being
on a date with her.
Even if you dont have the ideal interaction there is no sure
fire way of telling for sure who you will wind up meeting
again and not, play out the phone game as closely as you
can to the way it stipulated in this article.
When you leave that night send a mass text to everyone
including the girl to further give her references to
remember you by.
If the girl is going to get a mass text from a new number
make it clear that it is a mass text and not just directed at
her. Do not, under any circumstance, try for rapport.


Yooooooooo! We own the weekend. After party!

You should be doing this anyway after the night to search

for options and consolidate relations. Plus, people are
inclined to text back asking about an after party to which
you can propose throwing one. Or, someone might simply
ask you to theirs, no worries.
If you get into a volley with the girl that night on text it
could be the case that you can afterparty with one another
at a venue, always call it afterparty instead of a meet up.
Text exchange addresses.
Phone game ability is unnecessary once you have slept with
the girl. If you can consolidate your physical connection
with the girl that night thats the best way to make her your
If this is not the case it will be necessary to call her to
facilitate the establishment of a girlfriend.
When should you call?

There is not hard and fast rule for this either. Next day can
be fine.
Im a caller not a texter. For two reasons, texting is trickier
than calling with all the button pushing shit and I have had
more success establishing meet ups this way.
Person to person interaction on the phone is far more
influential than text messages. Dont be the guy who
doesnt call because he likes to plan meticulously what hes
going to text the girl. And dont be the guy who doesnt
call because hes scares hes going to fuck up speaking to
her in person on the phone.
Fucking up is good because it then gives you an
opportunity to show that you make mistakes, but you dont
care, its just what you do. Youre not the sort of guy who
really gives a fuck about stupid irrelevant bullshit.
The way it turns out most of the time is that it will take a
couple of days to call the girl because you have things
going on.
Usually one or two days is about right. If I get a number on
Thursday, Friday or Saturday I call Monday, if I got the
Sunday Id call Tuesday.
In my experience its best to call during business hours or
school hours, around the four or 5 oclock mark. This has a
better connection rate than later in the night when any
number of other things could be going on.


During business or school hours people are in a better state

because they are busy and usually more attentive to the
phone. After hours people are less in state and harder to get
a hold of especially when the phone is on charge in another
Before you call note this.
If a girl agrees to meet up with you in any case the potential
scenario is not something that she would consciously want
to agree to.
One the one hand she might meet you and not like you the
way she thought she might. Ultra awkward situation. She
wont agree to that potential situation.
On the other hand she will like you. In this scenario she
will end up investing massive amounts of time, money,
effort and emotion into you for potentially no return. Not
something she can consciously agree to either.


So, when you get into a phone game situation its vital that
you persist for the meet up. This is a case again of coming
from the right place.
Chasing, pushing, needing is low value stuff.
Persisting is high value and approaching the situation from
the right mindset.
You take every responsibility for the girl getting laid. You
take every responsibility for the continuation of the
interaction after the initial meeting.
If youre wondering as to why you should have a sense of
entitlement remember your intentions.
You intend to make life a better place for her, you intend to
have fun, you dont intend to take value or detract for her
experience in any way. You know that when she hangs out
with you shes going to have more fun with you for the right
reasons than any other guy.
Thats why its worth persisting. In line with your
intentions you need to help her understand this. Persist until
she sees you. If she doesnt get that youre the best guy for
her thats her lossor your miscalibration.
Usually flakes result from bad interactions, a lack of self
value relative to the girl, lack of persistence and a lack of
sense of entitlement.


The self is always coming through even on the phone. Self

trust is big. Anything except self trust wont be received
The state youre in on the phone will be the state you
influence her with when you speak to her. So relax and
have fun with it.
When you are on the phone stay in alignment with yourself.
Anything other than positive dominance means youre not
manning up. Stop being a little bitch.

You want to be in a good state when you go to make the

call. This is best done when you are hanging out with other
people and already in a social mode. Other good situations
are when youre coming back from the gym or some other
stimulating activity or maybe youre just out shopping.
The common theme behind this is your switched on, in the
moment and feeling good.


Dont be counting down the clock to seven PM, lighting

candles chanting mantras and pulling the blinds closed. The
phone call is an offhand everyday thing.

When you actually make the call you have pretty much two
contingencies that could possibly arise. Either you speak to
her on the phone or you get her answering service.
If you get the answering machine its a simple:
Hey its me, call me back. Indifferent, breaking-rapport
If you dont hear anything back do the same three or four
days afterwards.
After four or five instances of this with no call back you
have nothing to lose, so go all out and then delete the
Call her answering machine as per normal with Aerosmith
playing dramatically in the background. Sing to the
answering to the tunes of the song something outrageous

I dont want to close my eyes,

I am a fucking chode,
And I masturbate,
Using tears as my lub-ri-cant
End song with:
Credit to Jlaixs weeping air supply technique. I never
heard of air supply so I use Aerosmith I dont want to miss
a thing track.
This gets a good call back rate, and granted you do start a
little behind the eight ball but you get something whereas
you previously had nothing. Proceed with phone game as
per normal.
If you do get her on the phone in person there is a tried and
tested structure and a couple of principles that will stand
you in good stead.
On the first call you are just feeling out the situation. If you
are going to potentially date a girl and dedicate a night of
your life to a potential waste of time you want to
investigate firstly whether or not a person is worth the
expenditure of your value able time.
Dont pitch the meet up on the first call. Whatever you do
FORM. Girls usually arent ultra talkative on the phone
during the first call because they get nervous like guys do.


Dont fall into the trap of talking solely to fill awkward

silences. Be cool with silences, she will sense this and
usually be compelled to talk to fill the silence herself.
Its as though you create a verbal vacuum.

Usually if there is a silence on the phone or in person

people will try and question their way out of this. This is
more investment in you by her trying for rapport by asking
questions. This investment into you is a great thing.
On the first call keep things normal. Heres a structure that
I usually follow that is a great way to connect over the
phone, communicate high value and leave her wanting
This is how it basically goes.
I dial, she answers.
Girl: hello, slut speaking
Haha, no.
Girl: hello girl speaking

Alex: hey girl, whassup.

Girl: Oh hey! Not much, Im just studying/working/doing
something non-inspiring or non creative answer
Alex: haha yeah? Sounds riveting.
Alex: Im on the way back from the gym workout of
desire/grocery shopping because I cant cook anything
except metal in microwaves/buying alcohol for a Monday
night binge session.
Alex: OI, I had the craziest week(insert value offering,
interesting, buying temperature spiking story here.)
Alex: I got into a fight with a bouncer, my friend got
arrested, I went to a casino, I set a microwave on fire, grew
enough facial hair to shave, wore a costume while drunk.
Girl: Haha, OMG your crazy/cool haha. (questions usually
Alex: (Answers questions in a sexually mis-interpretive
Alex: So what did you say you did on the weekend?
Girl: A non-inspiring or non-creative answer.
Alex: Haha, shit, I cant believe I missed it, I suppose you
had to be there right? (sarcasm, fulfils a full range of
Girl: (giggles)

Alex: Well, I was just calling to check in. Ive got a couple
of things going on this afternoon/this evening, Im going in
and out.
Girl: OK.
Alex: Cool. I will call you later.

This will certainly leave her mulling over the prospects of

you in her mind. Considering you high value and giver her
imagination to run away with hopes that you might fall into
the frame of the ideal guy she has been looking for.
This is a great replicatable framework for guys who are
new to phone game and the game in general.
Remember that it is a structure, not a script.
Over the phone dont expect to have her cooing and
seducing you immediately in the same way you dot expect
her to be rubbing your nipples when you first meet her in
person. Come from the right place and you CANT NOT be

attractive to her in the same way guys CANT NOT be

attracted to a hot girl in a bikini.

A lot of guys go over the top in person and especially on

the phone and sabotage themselves. In the same way that
guys are always hoping to find that babe girl to potentially
hook up with girls are always looking for that particular
type of attractive guy.
Give her a chance to project onto you what she wants to.
Your attractiveness to her is determined by your behaviour
and smoothness in potentially turbulent situations. If you sit
back and stay chill more often than not she will go out of
her way to project onto you what her reticular activation
system is looking for in a guy.
Attraction isnt something you can do for her, give her
space to do it for herself
On the second call pitch the meet up unless it is blatantly
obvious that she wants to meet up on the first call or she
pitches it to you there and then herself. Go right ahead.


Otherwise, no need to rush, especially when you dont

know what youre getting yourself into yet. If you rush she
will perceive your rushing for sex, which shes probably ok
with but cant justify acting upon.
On the second call pitch the meet up. This isnt rocket
surgery. Have something going on and bring her along with
you. I would propose that a girl come with me to check out
something my brother recommended but I couldnt tell her
what it was. Other times I would propose she join me at a
fashion event, shopping or coming with me to my favourite
coffee place.
Dont make it about you and her, make it about what she
has to do to prepare. I would request that the girl come to
my house and bring candy and beer. I was joking, but often
times this happened.
I would also suggest what to wear, either something cute or
something warm depending on what I had in mind.
Set the date, ideally have her come to your place first and
you go from there. More day two info is for another post.
If you get a flake post call pre meet up dont over react.
You have options and other potential things going on.
The first date wasnt going to be an extravagant affair
anyway so its no loss. If I get a flake and I dont consider
it to be a great loss I will just tell her its cool and tell her to
call me when she wants to meet up next. Then I leave it at


Eventually she will call when she realises that you are
genuinely indifferent and live in abundance. If shes pulling
some immature bullshit then I will call her lame for being
immature and lose interest then and there. If you want to
continue with the girl dont be afraid to call a few days later
and start the phone game process all over again. First call
then second call style.
Dont sweat the who-calls-who-more ratio.
If your feeing adventurous bust on her for flaking you. If
its for a reason like study, fatigue or some other
transparent bullshit then its time to up the stakes. I ask her
what her address is for INVITATIONAL PURPOSES, she
then sends it to me (this is the case 100% of the time) and I
simply go and pay her a visit.
Showing up where shes at is congruent with my sense of
entitlement, confidence and playfulness. If you are not
congruent with these things then this could be tricky and
come off weird. I have done this three times and have had
three lays.
I drive to the location, find the girl and change her mood
and mind right there. Its very difficult to say no to a date to
someone in person amplifying your state there in person
saying SKO, SKO, SKO!
Generally it goes down like this (this is the epitome of
Girl: hey what are you doing here!?


You: Hey I was baking a cake and I needed a cup of sugar

and I was in the neighbourhood so I thought Id ask you
because I am your neighbour (total illogicality).
You: Grab your coat! Well just hang out for fifteen
minutes! SKO, SKO, SKO!
Girls mood is changed by having her state influenced in
person and fifteen minutes turns into a full blown date. Be
ultra light hearted and fun when you do this or IT WILL
come off as creepy and weird.
Phone game is only really important between the meeting
and hooking up. Once you have hooked up the girl will
usually be invested beyond the point of no return.

In terms of text, I dont go over the top with anything

overly fancy except for some logistical organisation,
meaningless sexual mis-interpretation banter, not trying for
rapport and self amusement. For more on text game consult
our expert Ryan at:

So, now you have a structural frame work for immediate

application of very solid phone game.
But more importantly, in alignment with a good
interaction being the key to good phone game, you know
what it takes to interact in a way that will lead to getting the
girl on the phone and to meet with you on a date.
If you can get a girl meeting you on a date you have to try
really hard to mess it up from there.

More importantly, you understand the psychology and the

contingencies behind the phone game, which will not only
give you confidence in the process but the confidence will
come through in the application of the process. You will
know why you are doing what you are doing and you will
know why it will work. Cognitive and social empowerment.
Go forth, close the deal
And as my mentor would say:
Leave a comment if you learnt something.





Hotel Game; A Collection of Cautionary tales.

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008
So I am at the bar, uninspired by the usual Friday night
Im getting the predictable you have an accent interview
questions from another predictable girl.
Where are you from, what are you doing here.
This was the eleven thousandth iteration of the same
predictable bullshit. Enough predictable is enough.
So Im at the bar again exactly seven days later, uninspired
by the predictable Friday night scene.
I get the predictable interview you have an accent
questions from a predictable girl.
Where are you fromwhat do you do
Hrrrm, how can I answer that?
Whoooooosh, down go the trousers.
Australian-flag boxer shorts.


Girl: So youre Australian?

I laugh, satisfied with my execution.
Wooosh! Alex tripping over his escorted ass.
Predictable Friday night. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahn.
There is something about doing something unexpected that
makes me tick. I think it makes every guy tick. I often see
guys get hella excited when they do something that no
one saw coming, all the time Ill see guys intending on
doing something unexpected and self entertainingbut not
stepping up.
This is a theme for todays blog. Here I am, at the original
ground central. The closest thing I might consider to be a
home. My spiritual LAX hotel.


Since I left the factory many moons ago I have since lived
in hotels all around the world.
For about two months this was quite the novelty especially
for a guy who is in his early twenties. But after a while I
missed being able to take care of organising myself and
began to hate having to rely on others to organise things
for me.
The RSD guys do an awesome job or setting up
accommodation however the accommodators generally
suck. American customer service is second to none but I
still dont understand why it is not applicable when it
comes to hotels.
As a hotelier I wouldnt think people with huge yearly
contracts, investing in conference rooms and checking in
dozens people almost every day of the year would validate
distain for hotel guests.
This distain ignited a spark which has grown into some
kind of ongoing battle that continues to rage to this day.
Neither battle party is willing to give an inch.
This is a tension this is only going to continue to rage on as
long as my quest for self amusement is filtered through my
Or more technically, lack thereof.
I check into hotels with camouflage paint on my face.
My game face.


The results of the tensions are note worthy for the humour
value. The following is a short collection of the goings on
in the timeless battle of good and evil.
More accurately a collection of things that have happened
in the places I have stayed over the last two years.
Deity Liar-ism and Terrorist Response to Pubis.

Let me preface this anecdote with the disclosure of the

following facts. Firstly, the movie Ghostbusters was filmed
at the reported hotel. Secondly, there were five pubic hairs
stuck to the roof of the bath room. Thirdly, we requested
multiple times that the television and remote be serviced so
to work predictably.
I was edgy because of the eerie feeling about the creepy
hotel but officially fell out of love when, whilst ingesting
mouthwash, I found myself eye to eye with an asshole hair.


Not just one ass hair, but a family of about five that had
mystically migrated to the roof and were casually residing
These profiled in excess of one inch.
The situation elicited emotions similar to when you break
up with a minger you have to work or live with. At first you
try and block it out the sour pangs of hatred, then, nope.
Open distain.
The anger came to head on a Tuesday night. We had passed
the pubis in the hall a couple of times and averted eye
contact. In the ultimate sign of verbal disrespect we would
address the pubis:
No eyes for pubis.
And wear sunglasses when around the family of altitude
asshole hairs.
The tension in the room was palpable.


This particular Tuesday in New York either there were no

girls out or we couldnt find them. As this is the primary
night of our weekend our copious amount of girl-energies
were looking to be dispensed.
Karaoke? No. Not the same as a well balanced and
gracefully sexual, choreographed social interaction.

Instead of talking to girls we spoke amongst ourselves. This

was mildly entertaining for a while but quickly presented
itself as a no-sex outcome.
Yuk. Instead of dividing our drinking time amongst our girl
talking time, the drinking time remained undivided. The
former activity became the common denominator of the
So much so that I found myself in a dilapidated schwarma
house, behind the counter taking orders and serving people.
I am unawares as to the causality of that situation.

Soon after, I debate French politics with some street squid

at 3am. I remember a taxi driver threatening to drive over

No girls.
Pent up frustration.
So many hot girls on the weekend not for us.
Doubly pent up frustration.
Instructor relaxing drinks time uncompromised by girl time.
Inhibited doubly pent up frustration.
Any crystal ball gazer at this stage would call for an
Its well documented that IDGAFWATOM, which is
cool. However when this phenomenon is chemically tainted

we have a situation where rules, laws and contracts no

longer hold integrity in my consciousness.
Always a cause for concern. I mull over this on the trek
back to the hotel.
We arrive at five AM.
I walked into the bathroom to wash the gritty schwarma
residue out of my mouth.
Like a school bully hitting an innocent squid-bitch in the
back of the head I was again hit with the asshole hair inches
from my face.
I went into a state of shock and proceeded to seizure. What
was worse however was my roommate found one in his bed.

He flipped the fuck out.

The TV was on from earlier on in the night.
Some fucking cunt was onscreen healing people by telling
them to yell the names of deities, curing cancer, blindness

and pregnancy by violently shaking them and commanding

them to go in deities name.

These fucking hotel cunts.

When, during the check-in process, did we agree to fly
fishing shit-hairs in and around my mouth and superstitious
5am liar-ism at 90 decibels?!
Before drinking the blood of a virgin unicorn and after
hobnobbing about with a jovial leprechaun, obviously.
The alignment of stars at that time in that hotel room
plunged us into a twilight realm where energy and rage
dissipation exploded.
Events blurred together but the following definitely
happened to the tune of 90 decibel deity liar-ism.
A barrage of sauced meats were thrown at the bathroom in
an attempt to dislodge asshole hairs.
A picture frame believed to be associated with the asshole
hairs was expelled from the room under suspicion of
collusion. Expulsion occurred via the window.


My roommate experienced a state of Donky Kong like rage

and beat the shit out of the roof causing it to cave in.

After this Kong-rage said roommate went into a seizure and

involuntarily knocked over most of the furniture in the
room. Full medical seizure, asshole hair now morally
Or there was asbestos in the medieval roof.
A lamp shade lay on the carpet. Seizure roommate arched
his back over it, and in matrix bullet time proceeded to
decorate it with high velocity chunks of schwarma. Turning
it from cream colour to bile colour.


While attending to the seizure one of the roommates fought

a rising urge to pee. In a concerted focus to not step in
schwarma syrup on the way to the bathroom roommate
momentarily forget about the pubis infestation and entered
the bathroom.
The urination process was going smoothly until ceiling
asshole hair was spotted again. From its place it knocked
roommate off balance.
This was mid urination. All efforts were made to keep
balance, avoid black curly hair and contain urine.
Feasibility proved unobtainable. Urine all over white walls
and carpet. Ass hair laughed vengefully.
Back in living room deity liar-ism is still pseudo healing
amputees screaming blasphemy and what-not disturbing
our peace. We make an effort to call reception to finally
come and clean the roof and fix the TV. We need to sleep
for our own good and that of proximal infrastructure.
We dial 0 for reception. Nothing.
We dial 0 for reception. No response.
We dial an array of suggested hotel numbers. No response.
Phone unit is hurled against wall and broken in two, like a


Call is made from cordless hybrid half phone. No response.

In the interests of science we expel the half-phone from the
room. Microsoft window style.
No room for phone. Disrespectful sentiments.
In a moment of clear headedness, I suggest that we eat
away our drunkenness. However, I am a clever fucker and
am very creative, especially when I am drunk.
The packet of trail mix made a great food suggestion and
even better room-decoration ammunition. We started eating
the trail mix, taking a moment to reflect on the battle zone
at hand. While our destructive metabolisms slowed for a


moment it provided an opportunity for the televangelists to

flood our consciousness once again.
Fucking Squids.
Seemingly louder, deity preacher claims that a pregnant
woman has been cured, that the demons have been
Trail mix hurled at the TV.

TV still broken.
Even though we hadnt managed to contact reception
someone starts to bang on the door.
My blood ran cold. I stopped for a moment to stock check
that moment in my life.
Mattresses upturned to conceal floor vomit.
Tables upside down with vomit stored in the drawers.
Trail mix embedded in the carpet, raisins everywhere.


Components of phone scattered around the room, phone

missing but hand piece lying limp on the ground.
Hole in the roof, we could see into the room next door via
another cavity in the roof.
Debris on the ground marking the crash zone, suspected
asbestos contamination.
Lasagne hurled and stuck on the walls and carpet,
garnished by haphazard urine.
Lamp shade covered in vomit, seemingly intentionally.
A rectangular dust shadow existed on the wall where a
picture used to be.
Six am televangelist still screaming at the top of his lungs
that ye shall be received.

And like a vulgar cherry on top of all of this the pubis still
lodged on the bathroom roof. Looking down upon us,
sneering, proud of its achievements.


Snap back to the situation at hand. Someone, presumably

staff, is knocking on the door. Icy pangs of terror struck my
heart. Not only was I going to be kicked out that night but I
was going to be deported as well.
Green card: Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaahn.
I put a straight face, put on a clean robe, put a towel around
my head to mask the traces of trail mix in my hair and
confront the door inquiry, being sure not to let them see
into or smell the room.
It was a hotel squid. He was wondering about the racquet
and the banging. Seems they can make time to service the
room when it suits them, but not when we needed the pubis
I was in the right mind to serve him up some complaints
then and there but for the time being I needed to buy time.
This squid certainly had more to complain about than me.
I explained (fictitiously) that my friend was also Australian
and was very religious and was not to be disturbed during
this serious and spiritual time.
Why is this going on at 5am!? squid asked me.
Oh, because its preach time right now in Australia. Time
difference. I told him authoritatively.
I asked him to bring sheets and leave them outside the


I walk back into the disaster site to find room mate passed
out and liar-ism telling me the importance of submitting a
denotation to deity with my credit card. Negative.
I wake up dude with water to face. I called for a red alert.
Time to go national guard on this place, my travels
depended on it.
Our clothes had been contaminated by the trail mix, bodily
fluids and sauced meats cocktail. So we made togas and
headdresses out of bed sheets.
Genius. It was oceans 11 all over again staring Caesar and
Sparta! HOO HAAA!
I unplug the television, whod have thought? Problem
We infiltrate some storage closet. And find some
replacement furniture.
The one advantage of staying in hotels with pubic hair
embedded in the roof is they also have lacklustre security
surveillance systems.
We found the matching lamp shade. Check.
In the corridor we found a matching phone, although we
had to use a paperclip to remove the security clasp attached.


In the bathroom in the lobby I found matching roof tiles to

replace ours. Check.
In a hallway we found a similar sized picture frame. This
construction process was like playing the game the Sims.
We gather everything back to the room and move things
back into place. Replace the missing pieces and gather the
broken and bile stained problematic pieces in the corridor.
All the while we are tiptoeing around as if it were an
integral part of the resurrection of the room. During the
operation, which would forever be known as Operation
Omega Uniform, we had heightened anxiety that would
rival that of a WWII beach landing.
We had the room in some sort of order had landed, moved
the beds over the places where the vomit had landed and
closed the draw where the vomit was stored. All it needed
now was a good vacuum and a professional touch.
Industrial strength detoxification would have been good too,
but we had neither the time nor the olfactory capacity to
realize it at that moment.
But what to do with the excess furniture? In this recovered
state of reduced pent up no-girl-frustration we couldnt
justify more window action. So we approached the elevator.
We put everything in the elevator and pressed the buttons
for all the levels. Gave it a salute and sent it off on its
journey of Valhalla.


We slept and in the morning we consulted a maid. All the

roommates collectively pooled our resources and decided
to suck up the responsibility for the terrorist response to the
We offered a maid what totalled the best part of a
Benjamin for her extra assistance and her confidentiality.
She was flabbergasted, she looked as though Christmas had
come early. In hindsight this was a good deed by us.
She did question us about the mess to which we explained
that the bulimic girls we bought back to the hotel had a
cycle of binge and purge during their stay.
The kind old housekeeper shook her head and laughed.
Boys will be boys She chuckled warm heartedly.

I though about this.

And realised that more of this was the way of the future.
Everyone wins.

Except the fucking pubis.

Actually no. It won.
Darth Hotel.
Let me first start by saying that this article is a testament to
my maturation during the last year. I believe in honesty and
transparency so here I have outlined the goings on of a
certain time in my life. This is a snap shot of the guy I once
was, and while its still embarrassing, I can say without a
doubt I certainly had fun at the time.
**Do not try this at home**
Let me begin my recount by relating to you on a haphazard
level. Do you know your friend, whom whenever you catch
up with them you pull out all the screws and push yourself
to your drunken limits?
This is a person whom when you catch up with, you feel
you have a special license to let loose and inflict as much
damage on yourself and everything around you as possible?
This is all of my friends.
Or maybe I just bring it out in them?
Realistically thats probably it, for everyone I know Im
probably their inspiration to get messy and do things they
will later to regret. Come on bootcamp and experience it

Im the guy that lives through the intentions of his inner

child and inspires everyone to communicate with theirs. On
more than one occasion I have harboured complete
disregard for rules and expectations and bared the full
brunt-wrath of the consequences.

Glory story whorey handcuffsall of the above.

Actions justified by the fun at the time or the retrospective
Well, imagine, that all my friends, whom inspire the worst
in me lived at all corners of the globe.
And then image they all were all congregated into one
Place equals fucked.
Add self grandeur and legitimate achievement into the
broth and you have a turbocharged situation teetering on
the brink of combustion.
Situation equals fucked.

I love it.
So it was a couple of months ago that all my closest and
most reckless friends had been summoned to the Darth
Matters were bad enough to begin with but like that
movie the great escape the hotel had agreed to house the
best of the debaucherous best. A dream team of antiharmony concentrated under one roof.
I was compelled to live in alignment with the man I am
supposed to be and gather the troops. It took a brave soul to
do this because it would be that brave soul that shouldered
the consequences.
I am brave like a chauvinist wearing a make me my dinner
shirt at a Germaine Greer rally.
But I couldnt resist the urge, someone had to step up and I
am the nuRSD.
We were euphoric enough to begin with after a successful
filming. I had spent the week seeing how many girls I could
close from five dates and had enough of small talk and
looked forward to again communicating in grunts.
The ignition of the fateful chain of events was at the
downstairs bar where we all gathered. I was upstairs trying
on some cool clothes one of my colleges generously
donated to me while my phone was buzzing out of my
pocket with requests from several different guys asking me
to join them for the drinks they had already bought me.

Im a social guy, how could I disappoint?

Im also a homeless guy. Over the past five months I had
been staying with each of these guys separately and I was
in a lot of ways a common social hub for guys who hadnt
met. And, like I said above, I am the excuse for my hosts to
get reckless when I go to visit.
Connotatively inspiring retrospective misbehaviour.
Up until this point in life I didnt own a credit card and I
didnt have it on record as a deposit for the hotel room. I
thought I could just drink freely from the minbar and eat
whatever I wanted from room service.
Everyone is fiscally smarter in hindsight.
After fashion times I made my way down stairs with two
travellers (for the elevator trip) to find all the crew waiting
for me. I sat, socialised and fulfilled my commitments of


After some time it was obvious we needed to capture the

flag. I was sure others were experiencing the same
instincts but others looked at me confused, at first, then
We had been using the conference rooms so we had access
to the other ones as well. Myself and Saadie started to poke
around in there and found a room with millions of dollars
worth of audio video equipment ready for the plundering.
It was Aladdins cave, Saad was Aladdin and I was the
genie making shit materialise out of thin air. The monkey
in the story was the monkey on my back.
As much as we wanted to take the abundant equipment for
larger-scale webcam-like activities with our girls we
resigned ourselves to the fact that if we touched this stuff
we would probably die, like Aladdins cave we needed to
resist temptation.

So we did the next best thing and stole an American flag.

Awesome. We were victorious. We marched Oompa
Looma style victoriously balancing the flag pole over our
shoulders with drinks still in hand.


We make sure our crew can hear us before we get there so
that they are cheering by the time we arrive. We get great
cheers and everyone gathers around the bounty.
But alas, some surgeon (roughly translated: a try hard with
high pants) and wench-patron dining at the bar try to
intervene. He explains that the flag is part of some
conference hes organising and its very important.


We are not willing to give up our hard fought territory so

quickly and make him chase us a little bit. He likes our
horse play and wants to join in because he is gay. There are
some benefits of being professionally attractive. Gay
Jeffy, always the soldier of death, jumps on the wenchgrenade. God bless his soul. I think he licked her face.

Some say that the psychological effects of war are

Only time will tell.

The flag is returned to gay conference guy after he touches

me in an invasion of my personal space. I feel queer and
return to the bar and try to prevent myself from getting a
reputation of ungrateful by indulging in the drinks my
friends have, as they describe, invested in me.
Could they be encouraging me?
While reading this stop for a moment to comprehend the
reality of the situation. There are about twenty five guys
from the best pick up company on the planet who have just
seen the best pick up seminar ever recorded. Between all of
us, except me, there is an air of rivalry and guys trying to
prove themself.
But there is only one decent set in the hotel bar.
Its a solitary line of coke at a prostitute after party.
And it wasnt just any set, the girl was a former playboy
pin up girl, or so she claimed. It could well be true, we
were at a high profile hotel in Los Angeles and she was
genuinely drop-dead gorgeous for a twenty four-something
aged brunette.
Understand as well, amongst the group there are the guys
who have reputations for being good with girls and have
nothing left to prove. And there are guys who are desperate
to get in. These guys are friends-of-friends and somehow
got involved in what would otherwise be a private company
after party.


I was more interested in running amok with the boys than

proving anything but I was having fun watching these guys
have a crack at the girl in an attempt prove themselves. The
particular guy going for the girl seemed innocent enough,
as always we were friendly to him.
I was friendly until he attempted to convince me that he
should be doing my job and argued how I was doing it
wrong. He attempted to advise the company CEOs on how
to run the company and qualified himself continually. He
tried to entertain me with magic tricks.
I asked him if he was kidding? I was not kidding when I
asked this.
He said alakazam! and fluttered his fingers.
No eyes for Copperfield. I concluded.
I maintained my professionalism, he wasnt hurting anyone,
plus he wasnt a part of the company so it wasnt my
responsibility. But his constipated Copperfieldism he was
using on the girls was entertaining me.
I have one friend called Derrick. Guys who know me know
me will know who this is. In my opinion this guy is the best
in the world. Best in terms of numbers and best in terms of
quality. Why?
He has done programs with Jeffy, Tyler AND Me.


I was with him the other week in the Upper Mid West when,
in an angelic voice, he dropped this line on an Ivory
schooled businesswoman in a silent and populated elevator:
My my, arent you just an adorable little kittenI would
just love to fuck you up the ass behind a dumpster like the
crack whore you are.
Abercrombie were hysterical and urinated involuntarily a
little bit.
So Derrick was there that night. Derrick aint no validation
seeker, hes a guy who knows what he wants and generates
the resources to make it happen. He likes to be in the
company of guys who have and teach great game.
He only fucks the hottest girls.
I was sitting nearby him giggling to myself when he
noticed my apparently psychosomatic infliction. He
questioned what was wrong.
I motioned to the David Copperfield show and he noticed
the babe.
He said it was a disgusting display of homosexuality and
that the girl needed some real game. He stopped and ran the
cogs in his head for a moment and said he needed me to
wing him, because I am the best.
I looked at the wing target and adamantly said no way.
This woman looked like the mummified version of
Cleopatra. She was anno- ancient Egyptian trash dressed in

a Merry Kate Olsen Halloween costume. Derrick would

later figure out they were mother and daughter and were
celebrating that night with lots of drinks after a medical
Derrick pleaded with me to wing. At first I held true to my
position and then he questioned my loyalty to him as a
mate. My attitude turned from self serving to charitable.
He sealed the deal by convincing me that I could do it if I
were drunk, courtesy of his sponsorship.
This is when faeces were thrown upwards towards a fan,
impacted, decimated into a million pieces and come flitting
back down onto all of us.
Shit hit the fan. Enter the trenches.
I said I would be in soon and Derrick approached the set.
Upon arriving, without speaking he pushed Copperfield
aside with a swift combination of choke hold and thrust.
Copperfield attempted some AMOG bullshit from the days
of black and white TV and was soon dismissed teary eyed.
I had done my duty and got myself compromised enough to
wing this elder-fossil, I approached the set including
Derrick who were immediately receptive to me, but when I
arrived I broke into hysterical laugher at the new stimulus I
had was exposed to.
Ever heard the saying, good from far, but far from good?
Well this was Halloween from far and nausea up close. I
took another sip of my drink I knew if I was going to be

involved with this I needed to get myself worked up and

buy some time.
I ejected, Derrick was pissed. We texted boy talk back and
forth, explained my situation and told him I would need to
be near blind to help him out, but that he could trust me.
Throughout the night he would keep me updated on his
progress. Copperfield had since vanished himself.
So everyone had gathered around the bar and was getting a
little rowdy, most of the guys were about twenty one. I
knew I had to get the party started so I made an
All the kids ears perked up and like the pied piper I lead
them upstairs to the executive lounge. All this was a guise
for my need to compromise my senses to help out a friend
in need. In the executive lounge we found a massive bowl
of apples, a microwave, lots of coffee facilities and a
potential refuge location. I made a conscious note of this
knowing that a good escape plan might be born of necessity
very soon.
A subplot to this story is that of two guys who had assigned
a problematic room by Darth Hotel that had been prioritydissed by admin during their stay there.
In their room the flush facility on their toilet was broken.
At first the calls were made requesting assistance but divine
administrative intervention never came. Initially alternate


bathrooms were used in the hotel, until the inconvenience

could no longer be tolerated. The toilet was nested.
Over the course of five days the toilet was used as per
normal, but not flushed. Each faecal episode added another
layer of putrification to the excrement lasagne. The guys
were pissed to say the least, or more to the point they were
living with it. They were vengeful. Still to this day I dont
understand why a plumber couldnt be organised?
If I was the colonel in the spiritual hotel holy war, these
two were the generals, all star players.
One of them though it clever to prepare a dish of metal
milk jug in the microwave oven. I chuckled at the notion
and said Youre crazy, you wont do it.
Crazy like a fox! he said foxily, his eyes lighting up. We
crowded around to see if he would really do it. Peer
pressure is a terrible motivator.
We had all gathered handfuls of apples and were poised to
run should he perform the fox-like manoeuvre.
He placed the metal jug full of milk in the microwave,
dialled the power setting and cued the time for 60 seconds.
Sufficient time to do some serious microwave exploding
damage.He moved to arms length of the apparatus and
poised himself ready to run, positioned the ignition finger
and looked around at each of us with a gleam in his eye.


Crazy motherfucker pressed the button. With a hum, then a

sparkle then a small explosion we ran as though Charlie
was in the trees.
The reality was actually worse than a Vietnam war
metaphor, an alarm went off and security was only
moments away, hearts racing, mummified slut long
forgotten I thought quickly and creatively and lead the
squadron of apple toting warriors to the fire escape and up
to the roof.
I figured we could lay low for a while up top. But patience
ran short and creativity soon kicked in. The group of us all
engaged in a who can throw the apple the furthest
competition. It was going pretty sportingly until we found
the car park on the other side of the hotel.
All it took was a dare and accusation of little bitch before
I had guys inspired to try and throw over the car park.
This was an awesome game. But if I was honest we had
much more fun throwing the apples at the cars.
In the dead of night, chilled quiet air and nothing but a
starry night sky above you, all you can hear is pure silence
as an apple suicides maliciously through the air.
Upon apple release everyone goes silent, then with a tinny
SMASH impact is made. And laughter is also made.
Simple pleasures in life.


Each car we hit had a different car alarm, after only a few
minutes we had an orchestra of electronic whining and
screeching piercing the night.
It was fire in the crypt.
I contemplated the notion of fingerprint recognition on a
disembowelled apple and concluded the fun was worth the
risk. I re-concluded that customs had fingerprinted me days
before. I summarised that I am invincible so it wouldnt
really matter. Then I looked at a photo of myself in my
phone and felt good.
I was in the middle of telling one of the brave crew that I
was the best apple thrower when we heard a foreign voice
yell with fury in the crypt WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP
Yes, to our terror this fiend had an Agent Smith ear piece.
He came from some service elevator, so we ran back down
the fire escape to the room that was to become known as
ground central. I was under the misconceived perception
that ground central was booked without a credit card.
I also thought I was invincible.
Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn. I felt like I was
winning up until that point in time.
Motivated by terror we descended down the fire escape and
to our surprise we came across Copperfield from earlier on
in the night. He was crying something about she was my

I invited him to escape with us but he said he had to self

punish. He was acting like a house elf so I desisted and left
him to Copperfield the night away.
I asked him if he could make the pursuing Agent Smiths
disappear like the pens he had vanished earlier, but I didnt
wait around for a reply.
Copperfield was a fresh reminder to me of my primary plan
that night. Get myself into a state where I MIGHT be
capable of winging out elder hoe.
With some hallway apple throwing by the crew we arrive at
delta checkpoint ground central.

My friend asks me a trivial question. I answer coherently.

Need to stitch more brain cells
I feel guilty that Im still in state that might let my friend
down. But I do feel pretty good for successfully escaping
Smithchode and leading the team to safety.


In Ground Central I consult the minibar for drinks, but it

seems to be locked. A challenging conundrum. The room
has already been decimated by various fiascos and general
habituation. Chairs are upturned, clothes are everywhere,
beds unmade. Disaster zone.
Still on high alert highly aware of the microwave
experience and the rooftop debacle I know I need alcohol to
fulfil my solemn duties for my friend. With the minibar
locked the creative mastermind in me comes out and I
make the call to room service.

No dial toneI discover there is no phone on the end of the

handset chord. Doesnt take a rocket surgeon to figure
thats why its not dialling. I plug him in. Still no dial tone.
Phone not plugged into the wall. I remember we used this
phone as the central prop in the infamous dick phone
routine earlier that week.
In an ingenious display of sexual intent you approach a girl
in the club prepared for the routine. Open with hey you
have a phone call and pass her the handset. The girl then

takes the phone bewildered. Girls usually put it to their

head as though they expect to hear a voice coming out of a
disconnected phone.
At the height of her confusion you step back and allow the
twirly chord between you and her to extend. To her delight
she sees the other end of the twirly phone cord is zipped
into your fly. Try this at home.
This is an exception to the no twirly routine policy.
At this point I spontaneously explode and am incensed by
the fact that Derrick will have to fend for himself. I stark
knocking shit over and yell at people out the window
strolling down the road. The anxiety was building in me in
a similar to the way you feel more and more under pressure
as the clock ticks down towards the end of an exam.
With the phone broken how would I contact reception to
get them to electronically unlock the minibar? I couldnt go
in person and I especially didnt want to risk them hearing
my Australian accent and identifying me as the microwave
facilitator, roof Olympian or flag thief.
The hotel was essentially saying to me Alex, time to quit
the mayhem, no fridge for you.
Wrong answer bitch! I said to the hotel. They will learn. I
made the toilet into a coffee facility by putting the coffee in
the top. Chef Ramsey like.
By this stage I was in full Tasmanian devil mode, the crew
was becoming concerned for my own wellbeing. They

didnt understand the internal angst that I was suffering,

how could they understand? I made a promise and actions
needed to be taken to fulfil this promise.
When I was in the bathroom cooking up a toilet coffee
my friends though it be best that they lock me in there until
I calmed down. At first I was ultra distressed about this
confinement, further putting the stops on my plan of heroic
winging. But, this gave me an opportunity to redecorate the
Towels: gaaaaaaahn. Bathroom condiments: toilet coffee
garnish. Shower curtain, transformed into a cape,
wastepaper basket: a Helmut. Some fashion thingy became
my trident and the wall art became my shield. I am the
ultimate bathroom combatant, beware interlopers.
I go quiet and my crew wonder whats going on in my
confined space after the initial hurricane of crashes and
banging. They open the doors to find me dressed for Darth
Hotel battle and break out in hysterics again. They take the
liberty of photographing the historic coming of age event.


They agree to let me out, realising that I have gone beyond

the point of no return and are now simply amused by the
antics. They give me the token warning that I shouldnt be
potentially ruining my future, inspiring my deportation et
cetera, et cetera, but if they really wanted me to stop they
would have stopped me. I think they enjoyed the show.
With a clearer head I return the fridge fortress, I examine it
Jack Bower style from 24 and investigate the power
source and the locking mechanism.
Hrrrrm, formidable I think to myself, hulk like rage
swelling in my veins again.
One of the other guys suggests that I use the hotel phone
we didnt use to help us pick up girls, stumbling over a
chair I make the call while lying on the ground.
As the receptionist answers the phone I realise I have made
a rookie mistake that could cost me my nuts. If he hears my

Australian accent he will recognise me and torture me!

Like we always say about being present, when you have an
empty head creativity will come to you.
For no apparent reason I produce the best Scottish accent
you have ever heard. I am a Steven Hawkins smart and
Chuck Norris innovative.
Receptionist: Room service express this is Allen how may
I help you?
Alex scottish: Ello, eeets mierser Ellen Ere, kud you
pleiise Fux mai Foooking Frudge!
Receptionist: Excuse me?!. whats the problem with
Alex Scottish: I kennot git it orpen, im fooking theirsty.
Receptionist: One momentwere sending someone right
up, stay in the room
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Agent Smiths now know what room
were in and they will be here soon. I have led the crew into
a dire situation. Shit.
I race back to the bar and with pure will power I open the


Great success!
There are some power cords and stuff that are broken and
an alarm going off but its ok.
I detach the computer thing from the fridge and toss it away.
Like the discovery of the Holy Grail light pours out of the
fridge and we are free to revel in the spoils. Vodka, rum,
whisky, its all there. At last I feel some relief that I am
back on task and on my way to helping Derrick.
We need to get out of the room fast. Smith is on the way as
we speak probably with law enforcement. I write a note on
the window for him with soap that I cant publish here.
Analysis of my handwriting would suggest that I am very
intelligent but slightly whimsical.
With the contents of the minibar in our possession we go
back to the roof where we can escape down one of any of
the six fire escapes and return to any room. We are running
hard. We have one room unbeknownst to the hotel
administration that came to be referred to as higher
ground. This was the room with the broken toilet. It was in

good enough shape to stay in except for the fact that

someone had put pornographic stickers on the wall and the
toilet was blocked. The room looked like a place where an
innocent person would stay.
We get to the roof, cross to the other side of the hotel and
down the other fire escape, through the door and into an
intersection of corridors. We are running but hear a noise
and instantly freeze. We hear people running towards us, it
must be Agent Smiths.
This time there is nowhere to hide. If they saw us running
they would know we were guilty of flag-capture,
microwavation, minibar destruction, prank calling
reception and roof invasion.
In a moment of Ryan genius he advises us all to put on
exotic accents as none of us have used that yet. I dont
know what an exotic accent is except for the Warner
Brothers Speedy Gonzalez so I just say honedley, hepah!
Aribah- aribah!I still dont know any exotic language.
The security guards and a valet guy run into sight of us
casually walking down the corridor and in a moment of
truth they look us over. I say honedley, hepah! Aribaharibah! They look confused and aggressive!
Ryan takes over heroically.
Why are you guys running in the corridors?! YOU
COULD HURT THE GUESTS?! He accuses them.


Oh sorry sir, were looking for some guys who have been
trespassing on the roof and stealing cars
Oh fuck, Grand Theft Auto, I think.
Ryan continues.
Oh! We saw those guys! Why the fuck did you let these
criminals into the hotel, arent you supposed to be
security?!They told us not to say they we saw them, they
just went that way, he was wearing at hat.
I make note to give Ryan a blowjob later.
Oh sorry sir, we thought they were guests, we are taking
care of that right away, thanks for your assistance!
And they run off down the corridor. At this point I am
sweating bullets and shitting bricks. Grand Theft Auto!?
Must have concluded that because of the car alarms. This
shit was getting serious. I got a message tone meaning I got
a text from Derrick.
Once the security guys are out of sight we quicken our pace.
But moments later we hear running coming from the
direction the Agent Smiths had just left in.
BAIL. Agent smiths come charging back


The crew scatters in all different directions, I dont look

I find myself running solo, hitting a different fire escape,
descending, traversing then ascending again to the room
known as higher ground. The crew texts me saying that
they got away from the fat fuck donut eating security
I text them back saying that I made it to higher ground
and that Im safe all except for my olfactory capacity.
Nathan is staying in the room and is just chilling out
working on his program. Respect. I make a note to model
maturity from him. I check my phone and find that Derrick
has texted the room number of mother daughter two set
saying that he was in the room with them now, his girl was
ready to go, but I had to occupy cock-blocking Egyptian
Im still too sober to go down there yet. I test my coherence
with some soap window writing and some milk to mirror
target practise. To my own surprise Im still very much
together. It must be a case of adrenaline and all the running
in the fire escapes. I chug hard the ground central bounty
and sample some of my own minibars wares. Im almost
ready to bring some gold standard winging.
At this point my memory becomes fragmented so some of
my recount is quotes from others.
During my noble self-compromise-for-the-good-of- a
friend session Nathans phone rings.

He recalls (jovially) his phone call to Derrick Thus (and he

insists that I recall it this way to which I am happily
Nathan: Dude, wassup?
Derrick: Wheres Alex?
Nathan looks around the room to see me drinking straight
vodka while simultaneously using the fifteenth story
window as an alternative to the broken toilet.
Nathan, diplomatically: Im sending RSDs finest now.
Click. Nathan recounts the phone conversation to me. I
change clothes for the purposes of disguise and go barefoot
in case I need to run then down I go. I take a traveller just
for thoroughness.
I arrive at the room, buzzed but I can still speak, vision is
blurred. After all our fiascos I am definitely going to come
through for Derrick, he has done so well to get the girls
back to their room so far even with wrinkle-slut trying to
forebode his glorytimes.
Its so weird to see a version of our rooms but all neat and
tidy. In their room they have some get well soon balloons.
But there, on their desk was an oasis in the middle of an
outback desert. A massive cooler filled with ice and about
twenty bottles of Heineken.
This was good for two reasons. One, I love beer and two
the elder woman was still dry wretch inspiring even with

blurred vision
and unstifled intentions, the Heineken would help to
completely delete my vision if I was going to do this.
Derricks girl was wearing little bang shorts now and he
had obviously already been fooling around with her. She
was smoking fucking hot in her more comfortable room
attire. I was definitely going to come through and take this
one for the team for the good of his blood sausage.
Little hottie was friendly and introduced me to her mom
who was very drunk in her bed. I dry wretched again at the
sight of her but stayed strong. Dale said to just talk to her
and occupy her while he closed his girl over counter in the
bathroom. Im sure I could manage that, I liked the idea of
not having to fornicate the scarecrow.
With Derrick and his girl behind closed doors in the
bathroom I was left with the woman who had discovered I
had an accent. On hearing her talk I was reminded of the
game show contestants on the Jerry Springer Show that I
had watched back in Australia. Thats what I was dealing
For no apparent reason she was under the impression that
she was Gods gift to men. Maybe she once was but she
certainly wasnt now. She began to racially insult me and
my nationality. Bitch. At first I thought it was kind of cute,
but I soon realised it was just trashy drunk talk from an


The woman could barely move, she was lying under the
covers still in her Mary-Kate Olsen uniform. She didnt
relent with the cultural insults and targeted the late Steve
Irwin. What the fuck was this blasphemy?!
Her speech was merely a drunken slur and her eyes were
kinda rolling around a lot. Alex hatched a plot.

I continued to weather her verbal barbs while I proceeded

to tuck her into her bed. Unfortunately this did in fact elicit
sexual responses from her. While I was manoeuvring the
sheets all around the Salem-Special she began to ask me if
Australians are good kissers and how old was the oldest
woman I have ever been with. She told me she was only
thirty seven as though she were bragging. I would have
guessed forty five. More hazards of being professionally
I tucked her into the bed in a way that she couldnt move.
Her head was above the covers and the rest of her body was
underneath, she couldnt move to begin with, now she
certainly wouldnt move while I executed the second part

of my plot. All the while she was running her mouth about
how I was welcome to spend the night but not sleep with
her and that the girls my age didnt know their socks from
their box.
With Derrick in the bathroom I picked up the cooler with
the beer. I turned on the TV to drown out the Springer-Slur
coming from the MIWLF. I turned out the lights and last I
heard were squeals and grunts coming from the bathroom.
Wingman deluxe strikes again, Derrick closed playgirl,
Alex avoided Agent Smith wrath and collected the pot of
gold (Heineken) at the end of the rainbow.
I make my way to the elevator I must say I felt pretty
fucking pleased with myself. I was breathing easy apart
from the hefty weight of my bounty.
Recklessly I forgot to press my floor number in the elevator
and wound up in the lobby.
From the elevator I could see the same security guards and
the valet guys whom we had narrowly missed in the
corridor earlier that night. In my ingenious blind enough to
wing hoe state I decided I needed to hide and did this by
running into the lobby bathroom. Could have just closed
the elevator doors and gone upstairs. Nope. I panicked.
Cowering in the lobby cubicle at three am I feared my
imminent capture and the confiscation of my liberty.
What was I going to do?! I only know what happened next
in light of what I discovered the next morning.

I remember thinking I needed a disguise. That was the only

way I would escape. I was worried that elder woman might
have been discovered by her daughter and called reception
to track me down for talking dirty and sampling all of her
Heineken oasis. I feared they would identify me by my
accent and by my clothes.
The next morning I woke up at seven am in a world of pain.
I was naked, sleeping on the floor of my room having not
even made it to my bed, Heineken bottle next to me.
I began to piece together what might have happened. I
found the clothes I was wearing but not the Heineken
cooler in the bathroom where I had last remembered being.
Nathan told me that when I came back into the room I was
naked, and in a slurred frantic explanation I told him that I
was disguised so that no Agent Smiths would recognise me.
In my brain at the time I must have concluded that taking of
the clothes the Smiths would not recognise me and it would
be a good way to evade their attention.
Im told I ran though the lobby naked holding my key card
and beer, rode the elevator with people naked, then ran to
my room naked, safe but not able to make it to the bed.
Darth Hotel Epilogue.
In hindsight some of the historical events of that night
could have landed me in some seriously hot water. As it
turns out the water was only extremely warm.


The next day I went down to lunch and found all the crew
from the night before. I was met with a heros welcome.
I didnt remember much from the night before but as the
others retold the stories to my disbelief I slowly pieced
things back together.
The evidence of the damage itself and the photos and
videos of me in action were proof enough. My blood ran
cold. It was time to get busy and clean some shit up.
I managed to fix all the superficial things, but there was
some hardcore structural damage that cost me badly. Ie,
broken fridge, something about apples and cars.
The repercussions of this was a fine so hefty that when I
arrived in Europe a few days later I couldnt afford to buy
the warm clothes I needed which really stung in a
Scandinavian December.
If there was a moral to these stories let it be this. Roll this
dice and trust yourself. Dont set out with malicious
intentions, I never do, but I do like to mix things up a little.
Although you do have to take responsibility for your
actions every time you throw down some self assurance
and some unpredictability something will come of it.
There are a lot of guys out there who forget the value of the
internal centeredness that comes from experience in
turbulent situations. The indifference you get to the game
and social interactions themself when you have been


through some risky, dangerous or self compromising

When I say I got into some extremely warm water over this
my company superiors were very disappointed in my lack
of self control. Little did I know I was flirting perilously
close with being sent back to Australia.
It was embarrassing to disappoint people who had invested
faith in me. In response to this they sent me off to the
Europe tour of doom in winter to develop some maturity.
Did I mature? I can certainly say that I have grown
exponentially during the European scary tour called the
winter of paradise and I feel like I came into my own as a
man as though it was a right of passage.
Will I do these silly reckless hotel and self destructive
things again?
But next time I will know how to get away with it.
Pass me my war paint.


Identity Level Change; The Key to Mastering Natural

G am e .
Thursday, July 10th, 2008
So Im sitting here in Calgary after just spending another
week partying. I just changed some peoples lives for the
irreversible good, I spent the night with a local cutie last
night and now Im off to Denver city where I am planning
to meet up with another cutie.
But life didnt always used to be this way, far from it. The
guy I used to be would mope around, listening to Coldplay
crafting poetry and sniffing womens hair I found collected
in their bathroom sinks.
Well maybe not that creepy, but it definitely sucked. But as
much as it sucked it made sense to me, it was familiar and
to change anything about that would bring with it huge
feelings of anxiety and vulnerability.
To change anything would call into question everything I
thought I ever knew about the world. To do that would find
me lost wandering amongst the world aimlessly. Not
knowing who to serve or what my purpose is.
Socially conditioned I thought I had to pay my bills, buy
the flowers and compose the poems. To even contemplate
success was to call into question my socially conditioned
sense of self. My reality.


And as shit as that reality was its all I had ever known.
Who knew what might happen if I took a risk or took
When I went to learn game I thought it would be possible
to be good with girls operating out of this chode reality.
While I did deliver some good lines and got my acting
good enough to star in an American Sit-Com I was never
got the results I knew I should.
But I couldnt figure out why.
Tim says there are four types of guys in the world.
Unless youre the naturally attractive guy you are never
going to get girls and you will literally endure your dating
life banging your head against the wall and your dick
against your hand. Or an internet fleshlight which I hear
goes pretty good.
We all hear the saying coming from the right place. What
this means is that youre operating from the reality that you
are natural sexworthy guy, in alignment with your
biological nature.
If you are reading this I can pretty much guarantee that you
are coming from a place other than your naturally attractive
sex inspiring self. You might be an entertainer chode or just
a tolerable nice guy, perhaps even a creepy fuck that
watches the little mermaid while you shave you legs.


Doesnt matter what you say, you will never communicate

the same things as the guy who walks through life in the
natural, default, sex inspiring reality.
I can tell you right now that if youre the sort of guy who
has to game girls you will never get laid, unless she is
kinda loopy. You might get some good superficial reactions
but a shit tonne of LMR. But hey, you can tell your friends
youre a pimp right all the while your pleasure centres and
penis will endure the dry truth.
To get laid and really get this part of your life handled you
need to make an internal psychological shift. Change your
very sense of self and your identity. You need to become
the naturally attractive guy thats inside of you. Executive
coaches are examples of this.
The truth is if youre not a naturally attractive guy right
now you have an ego. This is characterised by chodey
behaviour and it stands in place of your true intentions as a
man, suppressing what would otherwise be attractive.
Its called pretending to be a chode and is a result of
social conditioning. Where your deep natural desires would
dictate exactly the right thing to do at any time to get girls
your pretending to be a chode ego will have you second
guessing yourself and erroneously contemplating the right
and wrong things to do when you are interacting with
Good thing is, once you make the shift from pretending to
be a chode there is no going back.

If you have ever met a five year old you have met a
naturally attractive guy. If you have ever met a guy alcohol
buzzed enough to be carefree but still coherent you have
met a naturally attractive guy.
In the case of the five year old, Ill use my little cousin for
an example; he is acting through his own intentions
because he is not yet old enough to be compromised by
social conditioning. In the case of the buzzed adult the
alcohol has inhibited the part of his brain that applies social
conditioning filters to his emotional desires. Of course if
you get too buzzed drunk you will become sloppy and
The point is the manual (your blueprint) to this process is
embedded in your subconscious, but you have constructed
chode ego over it during you upbringing and socially
conditioned mapping of your reality. Chode ego is
continually reinforced by repeated disciplinary slaps on the
hand when you execute authentic masculine behaviour.
Interestingly, these disciplinary actions are only validated if
you succumb to them. If you do not, and you are not
breaking any laws it becomes a case of that just who he is
or that just what he does and your behaviour becomes
justifiable to those around you.
Think Stifler from American Pie or James Bond, both the
characters were written with the intentions of compelling
female audiences with the presentation of a man who is
truly coming from the place of natural authenticity and
behaving in accordance with his own intentions.

Let me make note that when I refer to a naturally attractive

man, I refer to what is commonly known as your nature.
The way you were born and the raw attraction inspiring
state you radiate when you experience the nimbus.
Examine the diagram below. You are born prewired as a
man who is hardwired to inspire attraction in women. On
the right hand side of the graphic it shows your descent to
tolerable chode in light of social conditioning during
adolescence and early adulthood.

If the sexworthy guy is the way your internal compass is

aligned then to live as a tolerable guy, a creepy guy or an
entertainer/nice guy you are just living thought the filter of
an ego that isnt congruent with who you are as a man.
Youre coming from the wrong place.
Dating success will be rare if ever.

It is pushing into the new reality that will result in you

consistently getting the hottest girls and with consistency
comes the highlights.
If you arent getting the results you want you probably are
aware of the fact that you arent as competent at pick up as
you would like to be, and thus, this has inspired you to take
the action of self actualisation which ultimately will require
identity level change.
When approaching, projecting an ego that isnt congruent
with your internal compass, women will know that you
arent being authentic and will pretty quickly blow you out.
This lack of authenticity is due to you not following the
actions of the guy you ACTUALLY ARE and instead
deploying the actions of a chode you are PRETENDING
For an example try this exercise: behave in a way that isnt
congruent to your core .
Think of your nationality and how proud you are to be of
that nationality. The trait of your nationality is as intrinsic
to you as your natural core. Think in terms of tribal
belonging. If you have parents and grandparents of the
same nationality, have lived on the land and breathed the
air of your nation and grown on produce from your nation
then your nation is INTRISICALLY PART OF YOU.
That is to say it is you.
Would you be proud to walk up to a girl and state your
nationality? Of course you would. In fact you will probably

feel pretty fantastic saying it. Parallel to true natural game

it is the same as approaching and saying hi my name is x.
This is pure expression.
Now what most guys do is like this. Think of a rival nation
to you. No disrespect, but they are your sporting rival or
whatever. Try if you can to say aloud words to the effect
that I hate my nation and I wish I was from (insert rival
nation here). When these words come out of your mouth it
can actually make you feel bad and weird.
In natural game it would be like approaching a girl and
talking to her and trying to or pretend to be something that
youre not. There is no strength behind it and you dont
even like yourself for it. This is impression, actions with
the intension of impressing something on someone else for
a desired result or intention.
The golden rule of natural game: Whatever you feel; she
When you take actions that dont agree with your core, out
of alignment with your internal compass, you feel bad and
as a result make the girl feel bad. If you approach and
genuinely understand and follow your own intentions you
feel good as though you dont care what anyone else think
of you.
The result is the girl feels good.
To be anything other than aligned with the sexworthy guy
inside of you is to communicate bad feelings. You will
communicate low value when you put chode ego actions in

front of your natural self. Topresent chode ego to girl in

order to conceal your nature is to communicate that you
dont think your natural self is good enough for her. This is
called having low self esteem, low self worth or a lack of
self trust.
You communicate your value loud and clear to the girl
before you even approach her. If youre a guy who is
constantly experiencing immediate bad reactions when you
approach this will be due to a lack of congruence with your
nature. Read through for the outline of what constitutes
your nature below.
When I refer to the type of guy that you are I mean the egofilter that holds you in your reality. This ego will dictate the
way you communicate everything you do. In the context of
pickup it is essential to communicate everything that you
do through a high value filter. If you dont simply wont get
the girl.
A high value filter is achieved by acting in alignment with
your internal compass. By making an identity level change
from the pretending to be a chode ego you have now to
your natural state of being as a man.
What Im most interested in is how you get from your old
reality to the new one. When I teach bootcamp its not case
of teaching what you say or what you do, its a case of
pushing you into a new reality. There are a lot of cool
funny lines, great verbal structures, awesome gambits and
various techniques as well. But none of them will be of any


value whatsoever unless they are coming through the right

To breach the threshold of a new reality is nigh on
impossible on your own and almost always involves some
objective intervention to inspire the process. Without the
hands on interactivity and pressure to push forward you
will remain like most guys and spend years milling over the
internet for the missing piece of you game that might
finally and get you laid.
A lot of guys review Bootcamp and say its awesome. But
the thing is they cant and dont really articulate why
because they consciously understand the process at hand.
They feel it, they recognise it but because it is subconscious
its very hard for the average guy to articulate something he
cant see and doesnt fully understand.
Also, you will notice that guys dont go on about how hot
the girls were her hooked up with or number closed (I can
assure there are heaps, a total newbie gets between four to
six numbers per night if he actually asks for them). After
program, hes more interested in himself and his new
potential. He is in a headspace of indifference to their
aesthetic value, but he might still report the hotness to
inspire others as an inspiration to commit to the process.
We say become the blank slate before program, press the
reset button and do exactly as we say. The more the guy
can switch off his old reality the quicker and easier we can
push him into a reality where everything he says and does
comes through the right filters.

Guys who resist these instructions will have difficult fully

adhering to a new reality. I wont let them leave program
until they have experienced this, but the more he can let go
and trust himself and the time honoured process of
Bootcamp the more phenomenal his success will be.
The truer the process of identity level change will be.
But the process of identity level change can be like pushing
a massive fucking rock up a hill. The closer you get to the
top the more position energy resistance you will get and the
more fatigued you will become. But once you get there its
a sense of euphoria and its a breeze to roll down the other
side that sounds like whooooooosh. On the other side of
that hill the new reality its as if gravity like everything
else is working for you.
In terms of making the identity level shift its a case of
detaching from everything you know and going someplace
where nothing makes sense. But given the fact that it
doesnt yet make sense it give you an opportunity to take
ownership of it and interpret it in whatever way you want.
Examine the diagram below and reference with the
following explanation of how it pertains to natural game.


What youre looking at is a function of anxiety in relation

to how close you get to letting go and experiencing
identity level change. If you look at the furthest left hand
side of the blue line you can see that most people walk
around the world in a constant state of anxiety. This is
basically due to common insecurities and stressing about
what other people think of them.
The further you move towards a different reality the more
amplified your anxiety becomes because you are moving
away from a comfortable place. The further you move
away from the comfortable place you more you have to rely

on yourself to deal with the unknown situations at hand.

This is making the shift of being socially conditioned and
being kept in place by the system to overcoming it and
having to rely on your own faculties.
The green double ended arrow that stretches from the
comfort zone into the red anxiety zone is the progress of
reality change that most people make. The further they
move away from their comfort zone (which is usually a
stifled socially conditioned life) the more uncertain they
become of themselves as they realise that the responsibility
is placed upon them.
This includes taking responsibility for negative
repercussions that potentially occur and causes an acute rise
in anxiety. Also the more a person has to take responsibility
for their own actions the more present they become
revealing awareness of the magnitude to which they are not
in control of their own reality.
In their comfort zone they can be happily ignorant of the
lack of control over their own life and remain anything but
present. They experience comfort because they delude
themselves to their reality. A socially conditioned reality is
a constructed reality that people were not evolutionarily
meant to be contained by.
Once people get closer to the new reality and anxiety
increases people are inclined to regress back to the safety of
their comfort zone. As a person moves proximally closer to
a new reality the anxiety increases to a point that is nearly
unbearable. For most it a lot easier not to endure it and

simply settle for the old externally controlled inferior

reality where they remain ignorant to the better life they
should be living. An externally defined reality of control.
The reality on the left is based on ego whereas the reality
on the right is one of self esteem. Understand that for you
to be conditioned into something that defies your natural
state is to derive your sense of self from the word around
you. A sense of self that is partially externally composed
means you have an identity/persona/ego constructed. This
keeps you in place socially and you are always at the mercy
of your environment.
In the reality on the right you cease to compose your sense
of self in accordance with external feedback. By letting go
of concern for external factors your anxiety level drops
markedly. When you trust yourself more than any other
person you have no anxiety that others are going to let you
down. You have no expectations of the world around you,
the buck stops with you. You take responsibility for your
actions and behaviour.
When you have no expectations of the world around you,
when YOU define the world around you external factors
dont play a part in the composition of your sense of self.
You lose your ego and operate purely though the default
state of self esteem. You feel happy.
For those socially conditioned individuals willing enough
to move far away enough from their comfort zone they go
through a massive process of uncertainty that involves


testing their emotions, their faculties and their resources as

a human.
People who undergo this process rarely if ever find that
they dont have what it takes to trust in themselves and take
responsibility for their reality. Admittedly it is very scary to
undergo this process of exploring the unknown but really is
only a cognitively constructed abstract concept that you
fe a r.
Once this process is endured and you realise that you can
actually deal with whatever situation life throws your way
you realise that you can ACTUALLY take responsibility
for yourself and survive. You become indifferent to life
itself and any situation that might present itself.
This is the process of making the identity shift to internal
trust an as a result you gain intrinsic high value. Once you
realise you have been through this ordeal its like
conquering a rite of passage.
After you conquer this everything becomes trivial to you
and you literally walk through the world at ease with your
hands firmly on the reins of your own reality. Your daily
anxiety is far less than those around you still living in their
socially conditioned world. You become a true alpha male
and you instantly inspire attraction in the women you
interact with. When life used to be a chore it is now merely
a celebration.
Canned classic game is a chore while natural game is
simply a celebration.

Emotionally and physically in a historical sense this isnt

the same process for women. Emotionally women
experience a more unpredictable and turbulent set of
emotion influencing hormones than men do.
Men, relative to women, will always have the natural
emotional capacity of stronger self assurance. Physically
women simply dont have the same capabilities as men do
and as a result will always experience more daily anxiety
for their own safety and well being than men ever will. Of
course I am talking strictly in terms of evolutionary
cognition that is redundant in todays society.
However, as far as natural attraction applies it is still as
pertinent today as it was for your ancestors 200 generations
before you. Emotional evolution ceased a long time ago
and cognitive filters have since taken over our emotional
lives. Mens natural ability to self trust and live a life that
results in significantly less anxiety is gender polarity, yin
and yang. The two go together perfectly.


Importantly, after the process of identity level change, in

light of the experience itself, there will be no going back to
the old reality. After testing yourself and proving to
yourself that youre actually capable of dealing with
anything that comes your way you will never revert back to
the state of constant daily anxiety and self doubt that you
used to confine you. You become a grounding source of
energy for others around you and a leader of men and
women. Your self-trust gives you a stronger frame then
those around you and as a result people react more to you
than you do to them.


Living this way, naturally and free of social conditioning,

satisfies both sides of the attraction formula. The fact that
you are more indifferent than everyone else makes you
high value. The fact that you have a stronger self-trust and
a stronger frame than others causes them to naturally react
to you more than you react to them. Them reacting to you
means they experience emotional spikes because of you.
Higher value plus eliciting emotions equals means you will
inspire attraction in women.
This is why it is important to man the fuck up. Make the
shift to a reality where you live manned the fuck up. This
is to live in accordance with your nature. This is natural
If the above was the description of what happens
mechanically during the identity level change process the

following is what signifies the traits of both realities and

what actually occurs in real life to facilitate the process.
Your existing reality is one of pretending to be a chode
ego and is socially conditioned.
Remember this was not always the case. This chode ego
is a result of people putting you in your place during your
upbringing and putting limiting beliefs onto you. This
reality and ego (same thing from different perspectives)
stands in place of your natural default self.
Because this reality has been constructed for you and
externally identifies you you live in a world where you
dont know who you are, you dont give yourself
permission for greatness and you do you trust yourself.
Coming from this place you think your game is anything
but a ten, you feel you are lower value than the girls you
are talking to and you second guess yourself constantly,
continually living in reaction to the girls you talk to.
In terms of the attraction formula you are lower value than
the girls you talk to and they give you a range of emotions
instead of you giving them a range of emotions.
Socially conditioned learning of the game will have you
looking for things to strengthen your ego, your externally
constructed sense of self. Its like looking for secret
weapons to use in field. You feel power in a way that you
never did when you were just being yourself because you
didnt know who you were nor did you trust yourself on its
socially conditioned own.

But, giving weaponry to a weak person they will still yield

a weak attack. A weapon is only as good as the operator.
To use an old game metaphor its like a mere band aid over
a wounded self. Coming from this weak place, the socially
conditioned reality, you keep looking for better and better
weaponry, bigger and bigger guns, more clever technology
to use in your battle to get girls.
All the time its still being operated by the same feeble
individual. To desire to use weaponry to execute something
that you should be able to execute naturally yourself is to
overtly communicate weakness. In the context of the club
this translates to you communicating to the girl that you are
not a good enough guy for her as you are. You needed
something extra special to compensate for your
shortcomings to achieve confidence to approach her.
Mainstream school of pickup are always teaching
something new and ego supportive but are missing the
elusive obvious. Its not the weaponry that gets the girl it
has to be the operator. To need something special means
that you are not good enough for the girl to begin with. To
not be good enough for the girl to begin with means you are
lower value.
To be lower value means you are not attractive and you
wont get laid.
The contrasting reality is your natural default reality. In
your world you are the only common denominator and you
live in accordance with this fact as you are the only thing in
the world you can actually control.

A result of getting your reality under control is that people

who dont have their realities under control with flock to
you magnetically in a search for self assurance they dont
yet possess.
In a self defined reality you are a leader and as a leader its
at your discretion as to what to do with you power. You
will find that it is in your nature to be generous and offer
value to others as it gives you good feelings to guide others
as a man.
In light of enduring the indifference threshold (rite of
passage to the self defined reality) you acquire delusional
self trust. This same delusion gives you confidence and
abilities to do things that others would never even attempt
to do. In a lot of cases undertaking a difficult task with
confidence and self-trust are the only prerequisites to
accomplishing it.
You enjoy challenges as they are a forum for you to
celebrate yourself and push you outside of your comfort
zone to a place where you need to draw the best out of
yourself. It is in these situations that you exceed your own
expectations of what you thought were capable of.
Because you do not derive your sense of self from the
world around you you have no expectations of the world or
your interaction with it. You know that the only constant in
your reality is the way you take responsibility for your own
reality. The only expectations you have is that your results
are proportionate to the application of yourself to your
goals. You take every responsibility for your goals.

While you take credit for things achieved or failed you do

not identify with them. To do that is to derive a sense of
self from the world around you and form and ego. Every
goal is a new battle and a chance to celebrate yourself and
challenge yourself in a way that again calls on you to bring
your best. You are never above the process.
This attitude will never find you resting on your laurels.
You are humble about your achievements; however you are
still self assured to the point of arrogance that you will be
able to deal with any new challenge that comes your way.
This humility finds you starting equal with every other man
when undertaking a challenge. You are not above the
process and you take responsibility for every aspect of it.
You have no expectations that something external from
yourself could provide assistance greater than what you can
produce yourself. Challenges for you are a celebration of
your unlimited potential and resourcefulness.
The fun is in the process and goal is just a bonus as you
know that even if you achieve it doesnt make you a better
person. The achievement of goals enriches your life but you
realise it will never change you or give you your identity.
Achieving goals is merely a celebration of yourself you and
thus you treat it as a game. You have fun doing it. You are
not detracting from anyone else as you dont need them to
complete yourself. As a result they often become
compelled in what you are doing and cannot resist
involvement with you.


In terms of the women you talk to you are always paying

the game for you, not for the girl. You are playing the game
for the derivation of your own fun.
Because you are playing for you and not for her you
communicate that your value of yourself is greater than
your value for her. The result is you inspire attraction. Your
self-assurance is something that you have more of than she
(****NOTE: I refer to the fact that you have more self
assurance than those still under the guise of social
conditioning. I refer merely to the primitive social
emotional world where mens evolutionarily physiology
gives them a stronger sense of self assurance than women
naturally hormonally have. In modern society this isnt the
case, but behavioural traits still pertaining to natural gender
differences will always inspire attraction.)
Because you realise that no one is going to take
responsibility for your achieving your goals you also take
every responsibility for the girl getting laid. This way she
doesnt feel slutty. You resolve her of responsibility and
she can enjoy the feeling of empowerment from spending
time with someone who knows who he is, knows what he
wants and has no reason to believe he doesnt deserve to
achieve it.
You see pick up, like everything else, as a game. While
other people enrich your life they still are only subordinate
roles to you in your reality. You enjoy the way you
celebrate yourself when in the game, but dont really care if

no result is gained. This is because you understand that

ultimately scoring a girl doesnt change who you are, its
just a celebration of who you are and an enriching
experience. you understand that if the women doesnt
realise your value that she will be left to less self assured
men where she will find herself dissatisfied.
When you approach girls you feel exited because it is an
opportunity to influence her and better her life. You involve
her with what you are doing, never deviating from your
own path in order to satisfy hers.
Your path is your primary purpose in life. Following your
own path is the only purpose in life that will reliably yield
an enriched life experience for you, following others paths
with generally just yield enriched lives for them.
In this reality you are high value because you trust yourself
and prioritise yourself before anyone else. Because people
are less assured than you and look to you for guidance and
assurance they experience emotional spikes because of you.
Your higher value combined with you eliciting a range of
emotions in people because they are reacting to you will
make you very attractive.
It is getting in touch with your natural reality as a man that
is the key to mastering natural game.
To identity change to this reality is to master the game.
You would think that it would be easy to just adopt the
traits listed above and master the game. But in an attempt to
do this your anxiety levels will increase dramatically and

you will feel a massive sense of vulnerability like you have

been cut loose and you are on your own.
Even if someone who has gone through this gives you the
instructions of how to get to this new reality you would
think that you would follow instructions obediently and
with their assistance successfully make the jump. For some
it can be so scary to leave their little comfort zone that they
refuse to just let it all go and trust themselves under
When I refer to the commonly used term letting go I
mean letting go of others influence and control over you
and taking sole responsibility for your reality. Like the first
time you swam and let go of the edge of the pool, once in
the deep water it was as though you already knew how to
do it. Up until that leap point you were massively scared.
Once you proved to yourself you could swim you were
simply indifferent to the whole swimming process and it
just becomes fun whether you do it well or not.
There is massive resistance for a person to go from one
reality to another. The resistance is roughly proportionate
to how strong the persons existing socially conditioned
chode ego is. They deliberately secure themselves in the
chode ego because with it comes a weird constructed form
of self assurance. They know who they are but its only
because its firmly relevant to the world around them.
Said another way they develop chode ego so strong that
they do form a very strong reality, but its that of complete
chodeness that is continually reinforced by all the forces

around them. They are put in place. They are really giving
everyone else responsibility for who they are and taking
zero responsibility for themself. So to question that reality
and begin to take any responsibility for their own self is a
massive terrifying daunting unknown.
Because they gave all the responsibility away to other
people to define who they are, when they go to move to a
new reality they have little to no recollection of what it
means to take any responsibility for their own life.
In cases like this they consciously think that they would
like to make a change but when they begin to take some
responsibility the fact is quickly shoved in their face that
they really have no idea of who they are and like a hermit
crab quickly return to what they knew back in the chode
comfort zone.
However, it is also in the cases of the biggest chode egos
that the transformation is so rewarding and contrasting.
One example of this is Tylers story. The effort to push into
that new reality was a long and exhaustive one, but once
the jump was made and the indifference threshold reached
it required so much more anxiety than that of others
journeys that in his new reality he was a lot much more
indifferent than everyone else. This gave rise to the best
I can say from experience this is true of most of the coaches.
The more emotional leverage you have the better you are
inspired to become.


To endure the anxiety of moving away from your old

reality is a terrifying daunting task. You are
psychologically programmed to fear this as though it was
death. To risk what you dont know in caveman times is to
result in death, so the fear of challenging your reality is
comparable to fear of death. But its guys who arent afraid
of death that are high value and leaders of other mean.
Naturally attractive alpha males.
They understand the fear and why it exists and with
experience of overcoming the fear they overcome it and are
indifferent to it. Irreversible identity level change.
During the learning process when you go at this on your
own you will find yourself getting close to and sometimes
tasting this reality. But each time you do with it will come
feelings of vulnerability that will quickly have you
regressing back to the old reality. Old bad neural patterns
rearing their heads and holding you back.
After repeated strengthening of the neural structures that
will come with your new reality you might occasionally
have reality snapbacks and go about and behave the way
you did in your former reality.
Its as though you are subconsciously checking that what
youre doing is the right thing. When you do experience
this reality snapback it will bring to light just how bad the
old reality was, it might even shock you but it will be an
obvious reminder to how bad it was to live in the old reality.


This reality snapback is your subconscious trying to take

you back to a place of comfort and low risk. This serves the
evolutionary process of gene preservation. The body is
always trying to preserve itself and by living in a reality
where other things take responsibility for you and you are
required to exert least energy and thought possible.
It is the warrior reality where you exert the most energy
and thought possible. You are taking responsibility. The
warrior is the naturally attractive alpha male.
To find the warrior on your own is near impossible as you
have continual reality snapbacks and quickly regress when
you leave your comfort zone. It usually requires an
objective intervention to make sure that you really do blast
through the indifference threshold and not look back.
Now you might go out tonight and make a big effort to
push into a new reality and that will be good, but to
recognise that you are going in the right direction takes
someone who has been through the process before and
knows what it looks like.
To really achieve identity level change requires a
combination of willpower, leverage, guidance and balls.
You need willpower to make the decision to commit to the
process and endure it in times of trial. You need leverage to
give you the motivation to take responsibility for your own
reality in the first place. The difference between an average
guy out there in the world and an average guy in the
community is the community guy had leverage. You need
some guidance from a learned experienced resource to

ensure you are going in the right direction who can

objectively push you past your comfort zone without
succumbing to the emotions involved subjectively. And
you will need balls, because thats what all of the above is
and what it means to be a man.
This is the purpose of bootcamp and the massive value that
it is. If you were to go out tonight and attempt this it is
most likely the case that you wouldnt push through to your
true indifference threshold and you would quickly find
yourself regressing back to a comfortable place. Secondly,
to push forward an an effort for identity level change could
be a disaster if you dont exactly know what the natural
identity is or have someone to model it from.
This is why RSD bootcamps have the value they do. You
can watch and read tactics which is great, but its the life
shifting experience that takes you to the next level and
makes mastery possible. Before now it has been hard to
articulate, but this is what it comes down to. Can former
students attest to this?
Think of the process of identity level change reality
change like the metaphor of a spiders web.

Imagine you are born into a web and you are confined to
live within the rules and bounds of it. Everything you do,
ever actions you take is based on the web. As far as you

know, without the web you will die. You dont know if you
can live without it as it makes up the very fabric of your
existence. You exist relative to it, and because it controls
you you live in a constant state of anxiety.
Then one day something happens and a little punkass kid
moves nearby and you can see him killing other spiders
around you with insect repellent (metaphor for leverage).
You know that you are going to have to take responsibility
for this and take some action otherwise you might die
(metaphor for not passing on your genes).
As the punk ass kid approaches you are scared but you
dont move because you dont know what else to do. He
starts punching holes in the joins in your web (metaphor for
destroying pillars of your existing reality).
With the destruction of each joint of your web (reality)
your web becomes weaker and your anxiety increases.
Your web (old reality) is becoming weaker and weaker;
you have never felt more scared and anxious in all your life.
The web is now a fragment of what it used to be.
Something you believe in and trusted no longer holds you
in place. You have no choice but to take responsibility if
you want to live.
You let go of the web (external pillars holding you in
place) and jump, trusting that where ever you land you will
be better than a certain fate of death. This trust is born
simply of necessity; at this point you no longer have a
choice. As you sail through the air wondering where you

will land you realise that if you can get through this you
can get through anything. Then with a light spider-thud you
When you stand up you feel overcome by a sense of
empowerment. Its as though you are invincible. You made
it through the toughest ordeal of your life. Sure you have no
reality. But you can exist without it.
Then by nature, you realise you can spin whatever reality
you want by pulling it literally out of your ass. You realise
how cool this is and look around for the best place to spin
your new reality. It occurs to you that the new reality you
spin will just be a celebration of you as opposed to
something you are dependent upon. You can spin your
reality however you want and you dont even care if it falls
down because you can just spin another one out of your ass.
When before you were in a reality to not lose, now you can
spin a reality to win for no other reason than its a
celebration of your ability to spin your own reality. In fact,
you can make a reality so strong that you can invite other
sexy ass spiders to come for sleepovers and pillow fights.
You spin your web/reality and at first it doesnt feel quite
like home and you will even think longing back to the old
web, but soon you make it your own. You have defined
your world and when before you didnt think you deserved
anything better than what you were served in life you
realise that you are deserving of what you make for
yourself. There is no reason why you wouldnt be


deserving of any reality unless you didnt take

responsibility for it yourself.
You know now that you are adaptable to any situation and
at any time can just define your reality out of your ass. It
seems that this is your birth right. Why didnt you realise
and trust yourself earlier? You spent all that time scared in
chode web. Fuck that you think and you go and make
yourself a better web right now.
You feel empowered. You inspire others to build their webs
around you because you are so assured of your reality and
your having so much fun defining your own reality that
others want to come over and visit you and be involved
with you. You try to convince them that they can do the
same but they are too scared to trust themselves. For the
time being they just like being around you because of the
certainty you radiate.
You web is like a nimbus around you, self defined
projected reality that you can continually pull out of your
That little story is called spider web theory and is a great
way to help someone understand the abstract concept of
identity level change.
Realise that in overcoming the anxiety and stepping into a
new reality involves some feeling of vulnerability at first,
embrace them and look to your ass to start defining how
you are going to build a reality of your choice. At first it
might feel a little bit foreign, but when you go back to your

old reality you will be reminded of how much it disgusted

you and you never look back again.
I remember when I undertook this process back in Brisvegas. I was a part of a reality that involved other people.
When I went to destroy my own others tried to prevent me
and keep me in place. I was met with some heavy
resistance and ultimately had to redefine my reality and cut
ties with some people. It was a better reality without them
and it made space to include a lot of other better people,
especially girls. After a while the original haters began to
get with the program.
Others have said this before: others dont hate you for
changing, they hate on you because you call their reality
into question. You make up a link in their web and when
that link comes undone they question the other links and
begin to feel vulnerable and experience the anxiety. This is
especially true of other alpha males. You might need to
have a frame battle, or even a physical battle as it was in
my case. But as they say, the stronger reality (frame)
eventually wins.
When I began to change guys would say to me shit like
youre trying to be something that youre not. What the
fuck? Thats the idea. The interesting thing is, if they met
the new me it would be a lot cooler than meeting the old
If, when experiencing identity level change guys do hate on
you there is a way to deal with it. Say this to them: dude
fuck you. Look, I lost someone who was really close to me.

And basically it has put shit into perspective. Shit needs to

change for me, I was really shaken up by things and now
things need to change for the better. So if you cant deal
with that: fuck off. But if you then lets move forward and
get on with shit.
This was deployed a few times by me. If you lose a family
member or close friend that can actually inspire the same
leverage that you might get from being cheated on,
divorced or any other emotionally turbulent episode. When
someone hears that you have gone through that they can
understand your identity level change and embrace it with
you. In that case my example: who did you lose? Your old
chode self, it was certainly a emotionally turbulent episode.
It is the emotional turbulence itself that is the very causality
behind the change. When you boil it down its when you cry
that you change fundamentality as a person. Im still trying
to find good research on this so if anyone knows any
science behind the correlation between emotional centring
and crying let me know.
I dont know the physiological or neurochemical process
but the times I see myself and other people fundamentally
change is when they cry. Crying can come from
emotionally distressing episodes or emotionally euphoric
episodes. Sometimes it can be one and the same thing.
In the case of euphoric crying you make the realisation that
you actually are capable of the phenomenal and its a
release of emotions. For example when you save
someones life, have a child or conquer a great feat like

hiking Everest or winning a sports final. You will always

know that its within you and passed all the tests. Things
that once intimidated you are now looked at as though
theyre no longer a big deal. This is emotional centring.
On the other hand when you cry due to distress its a case
of hurt. But its usually you surviving something that
scared you to death. This occurs the same way as when you
break up with a loved one, when you lose someone close to
you who played a pivotal part in your reality (which most
people depend on) or you have a near death experience and
survived it. In light of these experiences you realise that
you made it though and things that once scared you or
inspired anxiety are put into perspective. You become
indifferent to them, this also is emotional centring.
Emotional centring means you have taken control of your
own emotions and no longer allow others or external forces
to effect you. Because you are more emotionally indifferent
you are higher value. You are no longer reactive to the
world (reality) around you, but now the world and reality
lives in reaction to you. It is defined as a function of the
way you take responsibility for it.
How does this help you to get girls? The way you live will
dictate whether or not you satisfy the RSD attraction
In your existing reality (identity) you are not indifferent,
that is to say that you do give a fuck what people think of
you. This will be both mean that you want people to think
certain things of you (ego) and you dont want them to

think bad things of you (ego preservation). Because you

care, you are intrinsically lower value. And it wont matter
what you say or do, what ego tools you employ, your
weaponry is only as good as the operator employing them.
Because you live in reaction to your reality (ego projection
and ego defence) the world will continually shake you
emotionally. While this is happening you will rarely have
people reacting, be intolerant to social pressure and not
elicit emotions in the girls that you talk to.
When you do make the reality jump, when you do just
fucking let go and trust in yourself, drop the pretending to
be a chode ego and take responsibility for your own reality
everything will fall into place. You will literally look at the
world through different eyes. Because you care less than
the people around you and have generally indifferent to
everything you will communicate higher value everywhere
you go. Because you are supremely indifferent you will
react less than the girls you interact with, you will establish
a stronger frame and they will find themselves reacting to
you just because of the way you are. You will elicit
emotions and arousal in the women you talk to just by
being you.
To adopt this reality is to be supremely naturally attractive.
Identity level change equates to massive success with
To identity level change means you will come full circle
and realign your internal compass with the man you were
naturally born to be. You are now coming from the right


place. Just by being you naturally will inspire attraction in

women. Being your natural self is natural game.

Define your new reality. Defining your own reality

includes the people around you. During this process they
will experience emotional spikes just by being around you.
These emotional spikes might come in the form of fun,
dominance, persistence anger, fury or whatever. Just by
taking responsibility for yourself, being on your path, you
will elicit emotions in the women you interact with.
Some people will resist your reality, but as a man its your
responsibility to resist being categorized by others. You
might experience a frame battle, hold true and establish the
stronger frame and establish that you have higher value.
To be categorized externally is to be socially conditioned.
No one else categorizes you so you dont form your sense

of self in terms of external feedback, you have no ego.

Being unstifled and uncategorized leaves you living in a
fluid self defined reality of pure self esteem. No ego means
no chode ego behavioural filters, means you are back to
your nature. This is how you get natural game.
Get this and you become a rare and special entity.
Remember the golden rule of natural game is: whatever
you feel: she feels.
In your pretending to be a chode ego how do you feel?
Scared, unsure of who you are, anxious, nervous, self
distrusting, victimised, feminine and needy. Lost.
In your natural default reality how do you feel? Relaxed
and chilled due to minimal anxiety. Empowered, confident,
self trusting, celebrated, content and masculine. Happy.
Whatever you feel, she feels. Take responsibility.
With great responsibility comes great power.


A = HV + ()E
Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008
Natural Attraction; a fragmented description, Self
Esteem and Ego, Alpha male beta male graduation,
emotional spikes and congruence tests.
First let me say that this article is a derivative of the
Blueprint. Tyler is genius and the RSD staff that inspired
the ideas are phenomenal and fun people. This article is an
evolution of and a backwards engineered collection of ideas
that will help you learn how to become an attractive guy.
Define attraction and solve the game.
The notion of attraction is a confusing and vague principle
in the seduction community and for the most part is
massively misunderstood. This is obviously a concern as
learning to be attractive is important causality to having
women in your life.
This article aims to define attraction in the context of the
game and help you to become an attractive guy by
eliminating behaviours and mindsets that hold you back
from being attractive. This article aims to teach you things
to do that will create a means to demonstrate your innate
natural attraction.
Let me start by making it clear that attraction is not actually
something that you can actively do. It is only something
that you can be. That said, you can be a certain way that
INSPIRES attraction in every woman.

In the game, the way you are is something you can take
control of. The other parts are the ways you express and
celebrate yourself that allow attraction to be conducted
from you to the girl.
The notion of attraction itself isnt love, affection, sex or
status. Most accurately natural attraction is reproduction
Its commonly misunderstood that you can deploy specific
behaviours to ensure a girl will be attracted to you. The
behaviour itself is irrelevant unless it is coming from the
right place. Attraction is not something you can inject into
the girl. You have to give her space and opportunity to
assign the trait of attraction to you in the emotional centres
of her mind and her consciousness.
A lot of guys have absolutely no awareness of this idea.
They continue to think that the longer and more intense
their routine stack is the more lethal their dose of attraction
is going to be for the girl. If you go over the top and divert
from your own natural rhythm you will find your actions
will stifle the girls opportunity to assign attraction to you
in her mind.
That said, it is fair and true to assume that as long as you
are coming from a naturally masculine place internally, you
are hygienic and you are not socially miscalibrated, the girl
will find you potentially attractive until you prove yourself
otherwise. By that same principle, usually girls will be cool
with a guy to begin with until he talks himself into a hole.
Instead of just being cool and unreactive in a lot of socially

conditioned cases a guy will make a specific effort to

attract the girl and instead exterminate his opportunity for
her to feel attraction for him.
This is why in so many cases when you introduce two
socially calibrated friends of opposite gender they might hit
it off straight away. Men and women are designed to be
attracted to each other.
A lot of guys also fail to realise that they, simply by
themselves, are enough.
The majority of the seduction industry preaches tactics and
gambits that are designed to attract girls. To indulge these
tactics and gambits to attract women is to acknowledge and
internalize that you are not good enough for her to begin
Stepping into field disarmed by the assumption that you
dont have want it takes to be good enough with women
means that you will be doomed to failure. You will never
really achieve anything more than entertaining the girls or
getting forced reactions from them. Going out with this
assumption is to ensure that you will never achieve natural
Attraction tactics appeal to the quick fix solution, ego
inflation and perceived social empowerment.
Its the old metaphor of giving a gun to an otherwise
incompetent individual to make them feel empowered and
confident. The truth of the matter is that the weaponry is
only as good as the individual. To need to use the weaponry

to compensate for a lack of natural competency clearly

communicates that you are not good enough as you are. It
is a communication of low value and is unattractive.
An example of this would be walking up the girl and telling
her you drive a Porsche. If a man feels he needs his
perceived social weaponry instead of introducing himself
he would communicate to her that the guy who drives the
Porsche isnt good enough simply by himself. He is hiding
behind something he has been socially conditioned to
believe (incorrectly in the majority of cases) will make him
These kinds of beliefs are crippling to your sense of self
value and leave you perceiving yourself to be lower value
than the girl and unattractive.
Most simply, women to man attraction is a collection of
emotional impulses and desires that mirrors the emotional
impulses and desires that occur when men see an attractive
Natural attraction indicators are different for men and
women due to evolutionary gender polarisation. Womento-man attraction is scale based while man-to-women
attraction is for the most part (naturally) binary.
For men attraction is inspired by aesthetic traits and a man
will generally instantly feel attraction for the women or not.
For women attraction traits are behaviourally based. Its not
until a certain amount of supporting evidence of particular
behavioural traits are seen or experienced that a women

becomes attracted to a man. Like a certain decibel reading

on a volume dial.
That said, a man can instantly communicate attraction to a
women simply by the way he conducts himself OR he will
have to accumulate enough attractive communication over
time to reach the certain decibel point that is attractive.
Because male attraction is function of behaviour sometimes
attraction can be fleeting or a misrepresentation of how the
man actually is. A good understanding of attraction and a
good set of acting skills could lead to effective
manipulation of women.
A good cosmetic routine, flattering clothing or surgery
could lead to effective manipulation of men.
Naturally a man is born with all the behaviours that are
attractive to female perception, it is due to social
conditioning that he develops steadfast unattractive habits.
The some traits that make a man attractive are the
Self trust (non-hesitant)
Responsibility for himself (doesnt displace his
responsibility onto others)
A man of action (not lazy nor lacking in initiative)
A man of indifference (non outcome dependant)
Social proof (seen as attractive by others)
A man of dominance (as opposed to passiveness)
Hygiene (healthy)
A man of positivity (not restrained by negative forces)

A man unstifled by his environment (a man in control of

his environment or reality)
Resourcefulness (not limited by any situation)
Intelligence (not limited in his ability to reason and think)
Traits consciously assigned as attractive. (things
perceived to be attractive in the social context)
Let me state the obvious for the oblivious: if youre not
hygienic and dont have some degree of contextual social
savvy you will be considered low value. There are basic
rules to the social world. If you dont play by the rules are
you simply not in the game.
All of these traits are a fragmented summary of
evolutionary replication value.
Further summarised, this is a man who knows who he is
and who is on his purpose.
The more a man is on his purpose, the more people react to
him. When a person reacts to something they experience an
emotion, the more emotions experienced the more attracted
the person becomes. Emotions are addictive, arousing and
To react to others is unattractive, to follow your path and
have people react to you as a by product is attractive.
In terms of formula it could be stated that:


Attraction = Higher Value plus a (full range) of Emotions

that are(limitless).
To be who you are and to be on your purpose causing
people to react to you will inspire women to be attracted to
you. Remember however, even if you are attractive to a girl
it doesnt necessarily mean you will get any girl.
Imagine you are married or have a great girlfriend and you
see Jessica Alba in a movie. Even though you dont hook
up with her doesnt mean you arent attracted to her. This is
the same for women, they cannot help be attracted to an
attractive guy but it doesnt mean that she will hook up
with him. The getting part it another article about things to
do and is an outer game topic.
In short, to be an attractive sex-worthy type guy you simply
need to know who you are and follow your path more than
the path of others. RSD calls this not giving a fuck what
anyone thinks of you.
A rule to ensure that you always put yourself before others
is to express not impress. To do things because it is
something you do, not to take actions because you want to
retain ego or impress someone else.


In classic game putting others before you is called trying

for rapport. As a man, to value someone else more than
you value yourself is unattractive. To try for rapport with a
girl before she is aware that you value yourself more than
her is to communicate that her and her path is more
valuable than you and your path. This is reactive, an
impression of low value and is unattractive.
This is the same as trying to engage a set. To intend to
engage someone is to imply you need something from them.
As a man there is nothing someone can give you that you
cant get for yourself. Trying to engage is a reactive frame.
Having overt enthusiasm for yourself and what you are
doing will compel others to want to be involved with you.
To inspire involvement means that you need to know who
you are enough and to know your path enough to be worth
being involved with. This is what it means to offer value.
To approach trying to engage means to take value.
This means going to the club specifically to pick up women
is unattractive. To go to the club to have your own fun and
involve girls in what you are doing is attractive.


A man on his path who knows who he is and what he

wants in his life.
Beautiful girls have high replication value and naturally
inspire attraction in men. Therefore men naturally desire
beautiful women in their life. However social conditioning
can lead men to feel they need women.
Desiring and persisting is attractive, needing and validation
seeking is unattractive. When interacting with women an
action could pertain to either of these value polarised
frames. It is simply the frame of communication behind any
set of actions that will determine whether you are attractive
or unattractive.
Once a man knows who he is and he values his path
above all others he perpetually communicates a persistent
and indifferent frame in any social situation. If a man
derives his sense of self by external validation he projects a
needy and validation seeking frame.


It is ok to desire women but to need is unnecessary and

lower value. Once you make harmony with the notion of
desire without attachment you will perpetually
communicate a higher value frame, be perpetually
attractive and as a result beautiful women will find their
way into your life.
The first part of natural attraction is being higher value.
The second part is inspiring a range of emotions in the girl.

An interesting example of this rule is when a man has

extremely high value from social status or social proof (for
example a rock star) that just the idea of that man himself is
enough to inspire emotions in women.
If a man is high enough value this alone can inspire
emotions in a girl and render him attractive. If a man can
inspire enough emotions in a girl that alone can render him
unique and an entity of value to her. But that value only
lasts as long as he has the ability to inspire emotions in her.
The first component of natural attraction is high value (HV)


To clarify, the terms self esteem, integrity, honesty,

self trust, coolness, strong frame, unreactive, strong
reality, internally centred, state and nimbus are all
essentially the same thing and are all correct alternate
labels for the notion of high value. Ultimately these are all
one and the same thing that pertain to different contexts.
The self is always coming through. The girl will know if
you are a high value guy long before you approach. A good
test of whether or not you are coming from a place of
higher value is if you dont get instantly blown out. If you
are getting instantly blown out it is because you are
perpetually sub communicating low value before you even
open your mouth.
What most guys will find is that girls approached will be
hopeful that you will be an attractive high value guy be and
will be willing to listen to what you have to say. You
generally will be going fine until you self sabotage or
simply eject from a lack of validation, indications of
interest or to protect your ego.
High value is achieved when, in your reality, you and what
you do are of primary value to you. That is to also say that,
other people and the things they do are of subordinate
importance to you and what you do.
But calibration is important. You and your path might be
the most important thing to you, but if who you are and
what you are doing is beyond the reality of the people you
are interacting with then you will come off as weird.


Calibrate and be responsive in the moment and

communicate within your recipients realities.
Who you are is intrinsically interwoven with your sense
of self, your ego, your reactivity, your internal centeredness,
your state and your social status.
So, the most essential part of achieving high value is to
know who you are.
If you constitute your sense of self or state from external
sources who you are will incorrectly take the form of ego.
If you define who you are externally in terms of ego you
can never totally know who you are. With an ego based
externally formed sense of self you will be reactive to your
reality and displace the responsibility of who you are onto
uncontrollable fluctuating sources.
If you have an ego when you approach a women you will
sub communicate seeking validation of the Im good with
girls ego or Im a chode ego you have. You will be
reactive, lower value and unattractive.
In most cases peoples egos are who they see themselves as.
If a persons sense of self isnt validated immediately in the
set of girls they will either feel emotional hurt from the lack
of validation or not push the interaction further so as not to
risk compromising their ego based sense of self. Result is
no attraction and no girls.
If you define who you are externally by ego you will
always be reactive to the girls and hence be lower value
than them. You will not be attractive.

Validation seeking is what it means to take value from

people. When you approach girls with an Im good with
girls ego or the Im not uncool ego you are essentially
sucking value from them in the form of trying to get them
to validate your ego. When you interact with the girl you
are communicating to her that you need her to validate you
for you to feel complete.
If you seek ego validation the girl is more indifferent than
you, you care more, are more reactive and are low value. If
you have a chode ego you waste presence trying to
manage impressions that might get bad reactions. The girl
is less outcome dependant than you, it leaves you lesser
value than her and you unattractive to her.

For a betas males who they are is determined by social

conditioning. In for betas their sense of self is a
combination of what they are trying to project and what is
projected onto them. A false socially conditioned chode
ego stands in place of their natural selves.


To know who you are is to be egoless and a guy who

takes responsibility for his reality by living presently and
trusting himself on a moment by moment basis. Free from
validation seeking or stifling effects from external sources.
To be egoless is to reveal your natural self that is composed
purely of self esteem.
Who you are is essentially composed of two layers. The
foundational layer is your solid and unchanging physical
nature your biological natural self (some refer to this as
your core). The second level is the expression of your
natural self the way you decorate yourself, celebrate
yourself and interact with the world.

Understanding of what it means to be yourself will require

another article all to itself but a brief explanation is
important here for a thorough understanding of what it
means to be naturally attractive.

Who you are is male and with that comes biological natural
default settings. If you live in alignment with your
biological self you will be in alignment with your natural
self. This purely natural self can be seen in pre socially
conditioned kids, buzzed drunk guys, guys dealing with girl
from other languages were social conditioning doesnt have
common language to be communicated in, born naturals or
guys nimbusing.
I realised that some of the skills I used to teach on
bootcamp would simply naturally arise from guys when
they were unstifled, instate or in one of the conditions
conductive to naturally attractive behaviour above. These
behavioural traits consistently inspired a phenomenal
These same behavioural traits are what all instructors have
in common even though they are seemingly very different


As a guy who you are is naturally set in your DNA and it

is the same for every guy. To live out of alignment with
your natural behavioural traits is have a chode ego. To
live in alignment with your natural traits is to be yourself. It
is who you are. Regardless of what happens to you
throughout your life it cant be denied that your naturally
innate behavioural traits compose who you naturally are.
**As a side note, knowing who you are becomes easier
with age. This is a function of worldly experiences, internal
centring and becoming increasingly emotionally indifferent
from enduring lifes emotional rollercoaster of doom.**
The behavioural traits that every guy naturally has in
common are 1.Presence 2. Positive-Dominance and 3.


Once you come into alignment with who you naturally

are everything you do merely becomes a celebration,
decoration or an expression of yourself.
These traits combined make up your nature. This is your
natural default state. Your natural default state is one of self
esteem and in your natural state you feel good. As a man in
your natural state you take responsibility for your reality.
Remember, if you feel good, the girls will feel good
because they derive their state from the environment
theyre in. If youre talking to you her state is influenced by
The way you define your reality is indicated by the radial
arrows on the diagram. The ways you decorate and
celebrate yourself come from a place of strength as you are
in alignment with yourself as a man and, in contrast to ego,
there is no incongruence between who you are and what
you do. You have elite congruence.
This is called coming from the right place. To be enough
just as you are. To be self assured. To take responsibility
for your reality. To define your own reality.
When you understand who you are youre perpetually
unreactive. Who you are isnt defined by what others
project onto you.
To have an ego would look like this.


To have an ego is to live in reaction, be lower value and

To be naturally attractive you need to come (back) into
alignment with your natural self by shedding ego. When
you achieve elite congruence with your natural self as a
man is to perpetually have the world reacting to you. You
are higher value, and with each reaction emotions are
experienced by those reacting to you.
Because you know who you are more than the girls know
who they are they will react to you more and you will be
less reactive than them. They react to you, you are higher
value than them and you are attractive to them.
An article on the deeper mechanics, principles and
applications of self esteem and is coming soon. Also, an in
depth article about what who you are means is coming

soon as well. The brief outline here is to give you a

reference of understanding of what it means to know who
you naturally are.
Back to who you are:

To understand that you cant change who you are

naturally biologically and what your default birth self
esteem state is empowering. Knowing that you are who
you are and that your nature CANT BE CHANGED OR
that you will never be in a diminished and in bad state. You
can only pretend to be a chode with chode ego. When you
know who you are you will always be in state or have
dormant state, never out of state.
The only reason a guy gets in bad state is because his ego
gets deflated.
Natural state = good feelings. You feel good, girl feels
good and your attractive.

Chode ego = bad feelings. You feel bad, the girl feels bad
and your unattractive.
The only way to be out of state is if your chode ego is
compromised. If you have no ego to diminish you cant go
into a negative level of state. No one can literally get the
better of you because nothing external composes who you
are. You are what you naturally are, you consciously decide
how you want to celebrate yourself.
This moment by moment celebration and definition of the
self is fleeting. An ego can only be constructed if you
reference the past and derive an ego bases sense of self
from that. Or, you identify with a projected future self and
derive an ego based sense of self from that.
Ego is to displace responsibility for your reality onto
external sources and derive irrational expectations from the
world around you. For example: if you have the Im a guy
who gets girls ego youll expect them to just show up on
your doorstep, and you cease to take responsibility for girl
actually showing up at your doorstep.
The guy who knows who he is realises that he is no better
or no worse than any other man, he was born just the same
as every other guy. He has no ego, no expectations of
himself and no expectations of the external world around
him. Hes the type of guy who thinks that if somethings
going to be done right then I gotta do it myself. The buck
stops with him.


This is another way of saying what Tyler calls assuming

absolutely nothing.
But a guy who assumes nothing has far more self assurance
than other guys because hes used to getting shit done and
not relying on others to handle the challenge for him. He
trusts himself that when it comes to the pressure situation
he can handle it. Even when others are going to displace
their responsibility elsewhere, probably onto him.
This understanding of yourself means that you dont
identify with what you do, good or bad. It simply means
you can take credit for the action. For example, if you
fucked up everything in your life, that doesnt mean youre
a fuck up. Take credit and responsibility for fucking up, but
it doesnt change your identity or what you actually are.
By that same principle, if you went out for the last year and
laid a girl every night you understand that means nothing
the next time you go out. You take credit for those girls laid
but it doesnt form an identity of who you are. It was just a
way you expressed yourself, celebrated yourself and took
responsibility for your reality..
The minute you identify with your actions you think that
your identity alone will take care of your achievements for
you. Instead of you taking responsibility for the next lay
you think that your Im good with girls ego or reputation
will take responsibility for you getting laid. This is called
resting on your laurels .To do that is totally chode.


You are displacing responsibility. When you approach you

are seeking validation of that ego, you are reacting to the
girl and are lower value. This identification (formation of
ego) is unattractive.
If you laid a girl a night every night for the last year by all
means take credit for it. The reference points will assist you
in the future and you will be more indifferent (unreactive
and higher value) each time the situation arises in the future.
However, at the beginning of the next night you are just the
same as every man. If you dont take responsibility for
yourself being attractive and escalating then you wont get
Your mindset at the start of each night and at the start of
each set should be every man starts equal, and if this is
going to go down then I have be the one to make it happen.
Anything less will have you ejecting early because you
dont want to risk your ego by being blown out.
If you have the attitude that every man starts equal and I
have to take responsibility for making this happen you
start humble, you arent taking value because youre not
trying to validate yourself with sex.
Rather you offer value by making things happen and taking
responsibility for both you and the girl getting laid. Youre
not scoring a chick out of your league and its not a case
of her succumbing to you and validating a low value guy.
This makes having sex with you a lot more attractive notion
to her because you are an attractive guy.


When you start a night or set with the attitude that every
man starts equal, that I have to take responsibility if I want
this to happen you go in with no ego, only self esteem.
You are playing to win, not to avoid losing. It then
becomes a fun game and any progress you make is a bonus
and a thrill. Youre unapologetic about your well
intentioned actions.
Picking up girls becomes a fun game again!
Alarmingly for so many guys in the community pick up
isnt about having fun but rather proving to other guys how
awesome they are and getting reputation and social
validation for their mad skillz.
Having fun in field is so much more sustainable than
battling to defend your Im good with girls ego. In most
cases if you go out with this ego it will be compromised
and it will leave you feeling shit and out of state anyway. If
you feel shit, the girls will feel shit.
The golden rule of natural game is whatever you feel, she
feels. If youre having fun with pickup, shell be having
fun with the pickup. After all, its just a game. Shes not
unhappy because youre not apologetic for your natural
preset attitude of responsibility for picking up on the girl.
Why would you be?
Its how you were designed naturally as a man. She
understands that and cant fault you for it.


In mainstream conversation this is called having balls.

Guys naturally have balls, get back to your natural default
self and you will find girls will be naturally attracted to you
because you can be your natural self.
More on why approaching with any kind of ego is

Think of ego as a compromise of your natural self,

diminished self esteem and a false ego sense of self that
stands in the way of the natural who you are.
As mentioned above, to approach a girl being anything less
than fully alignment with your natural self is to present the
girl with chode ego. If you have a chode ego your
natural self/self confidence/self esteem/unreactive self is
compromised and you dont feel as though you are as good
as the girl.
So to compensate for chode ego you start doing things that
are intended to be impressive. This might include bragging


about achievements, negging to try and bring the girl down

to a level below you or deliberately running a DHV routine.
To have to convince someone that you are good by taking
extra measures is to show that you dont regard yourself as
high value to begin with. If you feel you are low value, she
will feel that you are low value. Whatever you feel she
If you approach with ego you are likely to get blown out.
This is a god thing because it erodes the ego away to
eventually leave only your raw natural self. Take blowouts
as a sign that you have an ego. Take blowouts as ego
erosion that bring you into alignment with who you really
are. This is how the indifference threshold works.
After enough ego inspired blowouts you will let go of
caring about how others react to you because it is so
frustrating, you will stop giving a fuck and make that
internal shift away from outcome dependence to
centeredness. You dont give a fuck what anyone thinks of
you, you make the internal shift from low value to high
value, you become naturally attractive.
If you have nothing to hide, no ego, self trust and you are a
guy who deals with the responsibility of your reality
competently on a moment by moment basis all you need is
yourself and self trust to achieve high value.
Girls will congruence test you to see if there are any
inconsistencies between your behaviour and who you


actually are. If what you do is in alignment with who you

naturally are you will have no ego and no incongruence.
You will blow through the congruence tests and with each
test passed it will be vehicle by which to overtly
demonstrate that you are a high value guy. More on
congruence tests and amplification of attraction by beating
tests later in the article.
Living in alignment with yourself is a demonstration of
higher value in and of itself. Each of the listed components
of the natural self are rare amongst guys and instantly
recognised as attractive when encountered by women.
Socially conditioned guys are polar opposites to naturals
and usually exhibit the behavioural traits of inside their
head and second guessing themselves, they are pessimistic
and passive and they are men of reaction.
Below is a guide to understanding the characteristics of
your natural behavioural traits so you can further align
yourself with who you naturally are in order to become
more attractive.


1. To be present is to be high value. To find a guy who is

present in this socially conditioned world is rare. A guy
who lives in the moment is chilled out, unreactive and has
presence. People find themselves reacting to a person with
presence. If you have presence you will be less reactive
than the people you surround yourself with you are
A present state will result in you achieving presence. This
is because, while living in the moment, you are ultra
attentive to all stimuli at hand. While present you have all
of your faculties dedicated in the moment to the task at
hand. Your attention makes you not reactive but rather ultra
responsive and you will be described as the sort of guy
who doesnt miss anything or that its hard to get
anything past that guy.
Being present and responsive means that you are first to
take action in response to any situation, others around you

are reactive to you. You establish higher value relative to

Being present means that you are a guy who is unburdened
by the past and the future and you are outside your head.
With an empty head you feel good. You inspire good
feelings in the people who are reacting to you. You are
A source of good feeling and relaxation is of value to
2. A positive-dominant guy communicates higher value. He
not only is a source of good feelings as he draws positivity
from within but he communicates that he is not to be
fucked with.
Positive-dominance is the essence of an alpha male. It is
assertiveness with a smile, leadership and decisiveness
while others second guess themselves. Positive-Dominance
is an example of proactive leading resulting in others
following you and reacting to you. Others reacting to you
makes you attractive.
The combination of positivity and dominance is the same
as saying woo plus intent. The four different
combinations of positivity and dominance (woo and intent)
define the four different types of guys in the world.
Depending on the combination and presence of the two will
determine the varying levels of attraction of each type of


Understanding this will help to identify what action you

need to take to become attractive. You can gauge what type
of guy you are and what attraction component you are
missing to achieve natural attraction. A breakdown of the
four types of guys is at the end of the article.
3. The third component of a naturally attractive guy is
escalation. The term refers to being a man of action, a
leader and acting on sexual intent. In the set, if you are not
moving things forward they usually stall out.
If men derive their state and sense of reality naturally from
within women derive their sense of state and reality
externally (socially and emotionally by nature). When
women are caught up in an emotional whim and find
themselves doing something emotionally compelling that is
against their cognition they find themselves logically
backwards rationalising their actions once the deed is done.
So if you are a man of action and a woman finds herself
emotionally compelled to become involved with your
actions she will logically justify what happened in
hindsight. If a women was unsure if she was attracted to
you before she hooks up with you she will likely rationalise
that she was attracted to you in hindsight.
If you dont escalate physically with the girl through the
different stages of hooking up with her at any stage you
might miss your window of opportunity and communicate
to her that are not 100% the escalating man that you should


In life as a man if you are not taking responsibility for

making progress for yourself someone will figure out how
you can make progress for them.
If you are out of alignment with your escalation trait then
you will find yourself becoming physically weaker and
cognitively dimmer.
In the same way if youre not taking responsibility (being a
man of action) for your reality as an alpha male then you
will become a beta male and be socially conditioned by
alpha males around you or be reactive to them and perceive
yourself socially subordinate to women.
Being a man of action means that every time you take an
action or a risk you have a chance to consolidate what sort
of guy you are. Every time you dont approach, dont move
the set forward or eject for no good reason you have failed
to take action and you are crystallising beta male regression.
Usually this is due to the developing an Im good with
girls ego that comes from a few months in the community
and a couple of good results.
Girls are very receptive to the most prominent stimulus in
their reality. If a man of action approaches, who is willing
to make decisions, takes risks, move things forwards and
keep things interesting the girl will be reactive to this. Her
reacting to you means you are higher value, you are an
arousing stimulus and it makes you attractive.
**As a side note, finding the alpha male in you requires
work and requires working against social conditioning in

the same way that resistance training works against gravity.

Socially conditioned guys and married guys are generally
beta guys who allow external factors to take responsibility
for them.
In the case of marriage, sacrificing some alpha traits are
necessary to maintain a balanced relationship. But to be
alpha, high value and to achieve attraction by people
reacting to you requires continual maintenance and
responsibility for it. Like at the gym, maintenance and
responsibility for your strength will make you stronger than
those around you, whereas laziness and not making
progress will yield regression and you will be weaker than
those around you.
Ultimately alpha male status is relative to other men. Being
attractive is like a muscle, take responsibility for it and you
will be attraction, get lazy and displace responsibility and
you will unattractive.**
These three natural traits of all men are suppressed by
social conditioning and in place of these compromised
traits stand the pretending to be a chode ego. If you are
not fully in alignment with these three natural traits you
will find yourself reacting to others.
Because youre naturally born with self esteem, when out
of alignment with your natural self you will find you have
low self esteem because it is compromised by social
conditioning. This feeling is the same as being in bad state
or feeling bad. If you feel bad, she will feel bad; she wont
want to talk to you.


I cant stress the importance of attraction as a function of

being in alignment with your natural self enough. Keep an
eye out for another article fully detailing what it means to
be who you are and what it takes to be fully in alignment
with yourself soon.
When people talk about manning the fuck up they mean
coming into alignment with your naturally masculine traits.
Being in alignment with yourself means you have integrity.
Its just who you are. As opposed to fronting some
bullshit ego and learning a college course worth of material
in order to try to manipulate a girl out of your league into
bed. All you have to do is bring yourself.
Being your natural self makes natural game a simple and
fun pleasure.
If you are in alignment with yourself and are indifferent the
girl will recognise that you are high value long before you
approach her and she will be instantly receptive. If you
have the pretending to be a chode ego and you are
outcome dependant she will recognise that you are low
value and become instantly defensive and perhaps not even
talk to you or instantly test you hard core in the style of a
straight up blow out.
For now, in the context of defining natural attraction just
understand that to be high value you need to be who you
are naturally to achieve the high value component of the
natural attraction formula.


As a guy, when girls do girlie behaviour that is beyond

our understanding we generally tend to acknowledge that
its just a girl thing, we dont bother to try and figure out
why they do it we just accept it as it. Its the same for girls.
When girls see guys doing guy guy behaviour they
probably dont get what we do and probably wont try to.
They like guy behaviour it in the same way that we like
girl behaviours simply because girls are mysterious,
adorable and attractive and as people they reciprocally
compliment out own lives.
The other component of natural attraction is a full range of
Emotions are elicited in increments of emotional spikes. To
elicit these correctly it is important to know what an
emotional spike actually is.
An emotional spike is an interactive process and pertains
particularly to social and emotional natural gender
polarisation. High value is having others react to you and
being unreactive to others.
To give someone an emotional spike you can do something
specifically to make them react (impression) or it can come
in the form of a people reacting to as a function of you
being a high value guy on your path.
To react to an emotional spike is to be aroused. Being
aroused is the same as being turned on or becoming exited.
Tyler said one way of look at emotions spikes is they
make the vagina wet.

If your ultra good like academy award winning good at

classic style of game you can come close to rendering
yourself high value just by deliberately acting in a way that
inspires emotional reactions in the girls you are interacting
with. But realise that once you run out of these little
emotion eliciting techniques your attractiveness will soon
cease to exist.
The problem with deliberately making an effort to get the
girl to react to you emotionally is actually you a case of you
reacting to her.
If you need to think and deliberately do things to get her to
react to you, ultimately you are reacting to her and looking
for validation. We use the term the self is always coming
through the girl will realise instantly whether or not your
actions are coming from a place of indifference or
emotional investment. If you are invested in the action and
expect a reaction, you are reactive and not attractive to the
When you elicit a range of emotions in the girl it should be
purely a repercussion of you celebrating and expressing
yourself as an internally centred guy. This is depicted in the
graphic below. You take action without any thought for a
reaction. You do it for you and not for anyone else. You are
putting your path and intentions before others.


On the other hand, if you are trying to elicit a range of

emotions from a girl deliberately you will sub communicate
validation seeking very clearly and the girl will be aware
you are trying to make an impression on her so that she will
react to you and validate you.
You will certainly get the girl to react to your lines. But
unless the emotions you are inspiring in her are coupled
with the higher value spoken about above then it wont
actually be attractive.
It can also be said that if youre higher value than the girl
as spoken about, but you dont take action and actually
interact with the girl, the girl wont feel emotions as a
function of you interacting with you and wont be attracted
to you. But, you wouldnt truly be a high value guy because
you would be out of alignment with your escalation trait
that constitutes your natural self.

In a lot of cases all the average guy needs to do is go over,

start and hold a conversation.
There are a lot of non community guy chilling out in bars
who are cool guys. They work hard, have morals, know
how to have fun and expect great things from themselves in
life. Usually, if they were to just align themselves with their
escalation trait and go and talk to the girls the girls would
be thrilled.
He would have everything he would need to be attractive.
However even if a guy did start a conversation would then
probably regress to being inside their head (non-present),
fall away from positive-dominance, second guess
themselves and discontinue to move things forward due to
the socially conditioned concepts of social politeness that
are harboured by the masses in the socially conditioned


A full range of emotions is most simply achieved by being

higher value than the people around you and having them
react to you naturally as a function of you following your
path. Every time a reaction is inspired by you this is an
emotional spike in and of itself, so simply being your
natural self is enough.
The infinity superscript () at the end of the formula has
multiple meanings of similar theme. Primarily it represents
the fact that conversationally you have access to the infinite
well of things to talk about when you live in the moment
and are unstifled by external sources. You can materialise
infinite conversation of value out of thin air and the more
you do so the more emotions you arouse. The more you
arousing you are the more women will react to you and the
more attractive you are.


This infinity superscript is an indication that you will

always be on your path and as a result there is no limit to
the emotional spikes that can be generated as a result of
your taking action and following your path. It also indicates
that the longer the interaction, the more rapport that is
gained as a function of time spent with a girl, the more
attracted she is going to be to you.
The bracketed plus-minus symbol () means represents a
full range of emotions. The full range of emotions means
that as a guy naturally on your path and naturally doing
your own thing the types of emotions will be random,
unpredictable and solely a function of your actions and
your path. Because the things you do are for you the
emotional effect you have on others will be wide ranging
and subject to personal interpretation.
If all your emotions were to be positive or negative you
would become boring and predictable. The emotional
spikes would no longer be spikes because they would be
expected and boring in the same a clich movie is boring.
Predictability is not arousing and does not satisfy the
second component of the attraction formula. When guys go
up asking for a logical opinion opener not only are you
NOT eliciting a range of emotions with the predictable
questioning , but she gets the role of authority and this
leaves you reacting to her. There are neither emotions being
exchanged nor do you have high value. The mainstream
perceptions of game are actually intrinsically unattractive.


Adversely, if you are true to yourself and act through your

own masculine intentions (assuming you have basic social
calibration) the sorts of things that you would naturally do
around the people you are comfortable with will inspire
attraction because it will satisfy both components of the
Think in terms of when you are with your friends, family,
or a situation where you are socially comfortable and
unstifled. You will probably do things that result in a
combination of things that both irritate or entertain others.
The things that entertain you can make others laugh while
they could make others annoyed. In both cases you are
arousing emotions.
If you dont do things (take actions) with bad intentions
you are unapologetic. Because you are unapologetic when
something you do elicits a bad emotion its normal that you
will defend your actions to maintain your value. This is
likely to arouse even more emotions.
Sometimes we all overstep our bounds and do irritate
people or hurt someones feelings. A man living in the
present who is responsive will possess empathy. Even if a
guy has irritated or upset someone if he possesses empathy
he can respond quickly and accordingly and can maintain
his value in these situations.
He can deal with or amend the situation without giving
away his power. Although he might have done the wrong
thing, he takes responsibility and corrects it. If you are a
man who knows who he is and are focused on your path

this is not an uncommon occurrence because people will

always be reacting to you.
This is responsivity and an extremely attractive trait of a
guy with natural game. After all, even if he did do
something wrong, he didnt intend it to be wrong, so
instead of being all sorry and adopting a victim mentality
he is the first to respond, take responsibility and make
things right. All throughout, people are still reacting to him.
Think about the context of the in-set fuck up (which
usually is only a self imposed perception of fuck up).
Maybe you did do something wrong. If you are present
enough to be responsive, deal with and amend the situation
you can maintain and amplify attraction.
Naturally, guys are anything but perfect. Realising that you
dont have to be perfect to get girls is very liberating.
Naturally attractive guys realise that social perfection is
impossible, so they dont bother trying to be perfect. They
are indifferent.
When you get really socially indifferent you do stupid
things just to entertain yourself.


Taking risks allows you to freedom to fuck up amend

situations all the time and give you great opportunities to
amplify attraction. Realising that you dont have to walk
the pickup tight rope is a very liberating feeling as well
and puts the fun back into going out and chasing girls.
Let me go back to something very important stated above,
being your natural self is enough.
Come into alignment with your natural self and you will be
enough when you are in alignment with the man you are.
When you man the fuck up
To further support this idea think about how, as a guy, your
attention(your reticular activation system) is always on the
lookout for something you perceive as attractive. This is the
same for women.
In contrast to men they are scanning their radars for
behavioural traits. Namely those naturally masculine
behavioural traits listed above. A lot of guys act like a
chode with their impress the girls ego or self sabotage by


second guessing the things they say and dont trust in their
natural faculties in the present.
If you give a girl the option shes going to go out of her
way to perceive you they way she hopes you to be. This is
the nature of looking for something attractive.
In an effort to make the transition from the average socially
conditioned guy to the naturally attractive sexworthy guy it
can certainly be useful to take on the actions of the
sexworthy guy and do things consciously that a natural
would do unconsciously(naturally) to begin to realign your
internal compass with your natural state.

Below is a list of behavioural traits that you can implement

to mimic an alpha man while you are still internally unsure
of yourself and more reactive to others than they are to you.


Even though you might still harbour the chode ego

implementing these actions will move you towards the
some of the habits of a naturally attractive guy. These are
behaviours that naturally attractive guys do unconsciouslycompetently.
Natural emotional derivatives from a guy acting in line
with his own intentions include any combination of the
following examples plus more:
Fear of loss
By implementing emotions consciously-competently with
time and calibration you will learn to execute naturally
attractive behavioural traits unconsciously-competently.
Combine this with genuine indifference and you will
achieve natural attraction. See the self actualisation
learning cycle diagram below.


Below is a list of emotion eliciting things you can do to get

girls reacting to you and will probably simultaneously
entertain you. These actions are best served as actions of
impression, not expression.
**Note: this will not get you the girls it will only inspire
attraction in girls. Attraction combined with escalation is
necessary to close**
Sexual misinterpretation
Cold reading
Compliance ladders
Verbal and physical push pull
Using the phrase lets play a game
Anomaly effect
Teaching something

Take aways
Extreme multiple threading
Elastic snap back
Game and gimmicks
Sexual innuendo
Shock and awe
Us versus the world conspiracies
Plot lines
Emotional rapport
Beating congruence tests
Physical communication and leading
Frame controlling
Using the word babe
Verbal rhythm
Emotional content of your language
Eye contact and intensity
Story telling style.
Many others
To mimic the attractive actions of a naturally attractive guy
is to practise the habits that are suppressed within you. In
the beginning you will come across as though you are
trying to be cooler than you really are, which is a form of
ego. The cooler actions will be incongruent with the not so
cool socially conditioned chode ego place you are coming
from internally.
Usually when making the transition from socially
conditioned beta male to naturally attractive alpha male the
execution of words and actions can seem jolty and forced.


Think of aligning alpha actions to an alpha headspace like

learning to play the guitar. At first your actions and your
mind wont have the neural framework to properly
communicate, but with repetition they the neural frame
work will grow strong like a muscle. In the case of learning
the habits of guitar, the skill becomes what people call
second nature.
In the case of learning something in order to realign with
and reveal natural traits that have otherwise been
suppressed by a chode ego could be called realigning with
something that is first nature

The seduction industry incorrectly teaches a lot of game

skills that appeal to the average guys ego. Ideally skills
should be taught as a structural framework to allow beta
guys to learn and internalise the traits and characteristics of
alpha guys through habituation.

Understand that if you consciously implement alpha traits

you will originally come from a place lower value and
consciously implemented alpha traits will be like training
wheels. For the most part the traits wont come off
smoothly to begin with but with field experience you will
develop calibration and social savvy.
When you first start off learning game you will be socially
inexperienced and emotionally reactive to most interactions.
You will most likely partially define yourself in terms of
external feedback because you will still have the chode
ego and you will tend to take things personally. If this
happens think of it as eroding the ego away and allowing
the naturally attractive guy to come through.
With enough field time you will begin to care less about the
interaction than the girls do, realise that there is no
predictable pattern as to what will work or not work and
begin going to field for yourself instead of for the girls
anyone else.
When you make this shift, you stop going out for the girls
and you start going out for you and your own purposes.
You take responsibility for yourself and your reality as a
man and you know exactly who you are. You have spoken
to enough girls to realise that you are the only common
denominator in your life.
Once you experience this indifference threshold in real life
a few things happen.


You become internally centred and you genuinely give

value to yourself and your path more than those of others.
You do things purely to express yourself because you
realise it is impossible to consistently impress people the
way you intend to. You do more creative and outlandish
things to entertain yourself because with field experience
you have gained social intuition that makes things that used
to be new and exciting actually boring and predictable.
You discontinue to give a fuck.
You let go, you become more indifferent than the girls you
talk to, you are the highest value person in your reality.
Once you breach this indifference threshold you couple
higher value with the range of emotions
Higher value plus a range of emotions makes you naturally

Consciously implementing these emotion eliciting

behavioural traits to habituates natural attraction. With this
process comes a whole other level of emotional spiking.
But to graduate to another level again you can learn to
establish high value by consciously implementing high
value communication styles.

In the case of aligning your communication skills to the

suppressed naturally attractive guy inside of you it is also a
case of not learning a second nature skill, but realigning
with your first nature.
Its important to understand that the way you communicate
elicits a polarised value response.
For example, if you address someone communicating low
value then you put them in a position to communicate high
value right back at you. Contrastingly, if you address
someone communicating high value you elicit an autopilot
response of subordinate value. People are always pinging,
especially if they are less self assured of themselves than a
guy who knows who he is.
If two people communicate at each other with high value it
can be an aggressive situation like two guys shouting face
to face. Usually one will step up more aggressively or one
will back down and a value polarisation is established. If
both people are communicating trying for rapport like the
weird way they talk in the Brady Bunch family then its
just fucken weird. Communication polarisation is always
established in an interaction, sometimes after a short frame
battle, to establish social order.
An article called high value communication skills that
inspire subordinate responses; communication skills that
will make you attractive coming soon.
Communication skills that can be consciously implemented
to mimic the high value communication styles of the

naturally attractive guy include but are not limited to the

Voice tonality
Verbal sequencing
Proximity to others
Physical expression and communication styles
Facial expressions
Frame control
Physical communication and leading
In the same way that implementing naturally attractive
actions will move you closer to aligning your internal
compass with your natural self, consciously taking on
attractive communication skills will leave you with habits
that arent second nature skills, but will realign you with
your nature and render you a naturally attractive guy.


Realise though, at first these communication skills wont be

smooth and there will be incongruence between the way
you are communicating and where you are coming from
internally. This is normal during the self actualisation
process. But remember, during the transitional time of
incongruence every congruence test you get gives you an
opportunity to consolidate your progression to elite
congruence as opposed to regressing back to beta male
chode ego.
While making the transition from beta male to alpha male
from unattractive to naturally attractive when you interact
with people it will be like you are trying to be natural guy
but the remnants of the beta guy will be showing through.
So when you talk to girls you will get lots of tests as they
try to figure out which one it is.
Consciously implementing alpha behaviours, mindsets and
communication skills draws you closer to the reality and
congruence with the alpha man inside you. Your naturally
attractive self.
Every time your congruence is tested you have an
opportunity to move closer to the alpha reality or further
away from it.


When girls interact with a man in a beta-to-alpha

transitional phase they will experience a conflict between
their emotional intuition and what they are seeing and
On the one hand they will be getting a gut feeling about
what sort of guy you are (but probably wont trust it totally
as people generally only go on words and actions as
opposed to emotional communication in a socially
conditioned world). On the other hand you will be acting
and saying things that communicate you are a different type
of guy to what they are sensing. They will automatically
and unconsciously test you to try and figure out if you are
what they are looking for or not.
Beat the congruence test and move towards the place of
natural attraction. Eject or fail the test and fail to clean up
the mess you make dealing with it and you will have you
regressed back towards beta male pretending to be a chode
ego status.


Remember though, the girls are hoping that you will pass
the test because they are on the lookout for a man of value
who is rare.
When you do get these tests it is a golden opportunity to
shed the beta reality and come into closer congruence with
the alpha reality. Pass the test and you get closer to aligning
your actions with the alpha born inside of you. Fail the test
and you confirm the chode socially conditioned beta reality.
Passing tests at first might require some conscious
recognition and decision making, but with each successful
execution you get closer to mastering natural game and
coming back into alignment with your natural self.
Therefore, passing a congruence test is a natural game
DHV. You are presented with an opportunity to
demonstrate that you are either alpha or beta. Pass it and
DHV is communicated. Fail it and DLV is communicated.
In classic game DHVs were a specific thing you would do
in order to show a girl that youre a special guy to
compensate for the fact that you dont feel you are good
enough for the girl to begin with.
Nowadays you dont need to especially deploy a DHV
because you live and talk to girls under the premise and
frame that you have everything that you will ever need to
be attractive just as you are because you know what it
means to man the fuck up.


If there is any doubt that you are a high value guy she will
try to call you on things to quickly figure out what is going
on. These tests provide your opportunity to show your
value. You will be unreactive to the girls and their tests and
as a result they will react to you.
50% of natural game is player in congruence tests.
When you get really good at the unreativeness of natural
game you can deliberately call girls mingers and go for
make outs wearing stupid hats in an effort to get the girl to
immediately test you. In giving her a reason to test you it
provides an opportunity to very quickly and overtly
demonstrate what sort of guy you are and as a result you


inspire attraction. This is called deliberate illogicality and

is another article currently being formulated.
An article on growing your natural game by reinforcing it
through congruence tests and passing/not reacting to them
is another massive skill set in and of itself and is another
article currently on the word press. This attraction article is
to be the mother article on going from a beta male to an
alpha male and what needs to be done along the way in
order to achieve mastery.
A short break down of the evolution in terms of Higher
Value and Emotional Spiking is outlined below.
The four types of guys are, creepy, tolerable, entertainer
and sexworthy (naturally attractive).


As you can see in the diagram you start your life as

naturally attractive as it is your default state and it is the
same point you return to when you become fully self
actualised. This type of guy occurs twice in the social
conditioning-self actualisation cycle so I will only cover it
The Creepy Guy.
The first guy is the creepy guy is most usually just socially
awkward. This phase usually occurs during the
impressionable teenaged years and is involves heavy social
conditioning that goes on during the high school years. Few
guys get through this period as alpha male and I can assure
that few of those born alpha guys will read this blog.

These sorts of guys are usually all escalation and

sometimes kinda desperate. Think teenager on a mission to
get laid or an adult so frustrated with being a chode he has
reverted to full deluded creepiness to get girls. All
dominance and all intent creepy guy lacks in positivity and
woo. This guy will usually get a very bad reaction from
girls instantly. Ideally he should conform to society before
he thinks about learning finer social skills. He is a
pessimistic guy and usually assertive with his intent.


This sort of guy is characterised by the bikie stereotype.

He comes off socially disconnected and miscalibrated, but
yet he still gets some hot girls. This guy has this
counterintuitive success just because he takes action when
most guys in the world never will.
He is Low value and gives negative creepy emotions and is
very miscalibrated.
The Tolerable Guy.
The average guy, the polar opposite of the naturally
attractive guy is the mainstream socially conditioned guy.
This is generally a normal enough guy, he goes to bar
because he think he is supposed to, he drinks for
confidence and rarely if ever approaches.


He is ultimately apologetic for everything he does with

girls. The few times he does talk to girls he will rarely
move things forwards because his perception of courtship is
derived from Disney storylines. Eventually this guy will get
drunk and settle for some socially conditioned women (fat
chick) and ultimately be unhappy in life and under control.
Due to social conditioning this guy considers himself to be
low value and takes little action, the action he does take
finds him outside his comfort zone which is uncomfortable.
He has low value and through inaction inspires no emotions.
This is the sort of guy who goes through life treading on
eggshells. He is a passive and pessimistic guy. He rarely
gets girls.
The Entertainer Guy
The entertainer guy is where 90% of where the pickup
community find themselves. These are the sort of guys who
have decided to take action in their life. He has moved
away from being a socially conditioned beta male and has
made the decision to self actualise.
These guys go out and put a lot of effort into what they say
and do but pay little attention to the importance of inner
game. Entertainer guys go out and entertain girls with the
things they say and gauge their own success in terms of
visible indications of interest or disinterest.


Entertainer guys still have the chode ego and define

themselves in terms of the feedback they get. This is
similar to well known entertainers Britney Spears, Lindsey
Lohan and Amy Winehouse. When an entertainer is getting
good feedback they are on top of the world and feel great,
when an entertainer gets bad feedback they crash hard. In
the context of game an ego crash can mean terrible state
and giving up the game, in the entertainment industry it can
mean drugs and rehab.
Because you are always going out looking to fuel and
maintain the ego you will always be reaction seeking,
reactive and hence lower value. Because the entertainer guy
is playing to not lose he rarely moves forward. While its
great that the entertainer guy is getting out into field taking
some responsibility for his life he will never master natural
game unless he can truly let go.
The entertainer guy does indeed inspire a range of emotions
but is still coming from a place of lower value and feels he
needs to neg or entertain to equalise or establish value.


The typical girl response to this type of guy is usually some

giggling, maybe some shit tests and after the entertainment
is over shes off to look for a guy who will be less
emotionally invested in the interaction than she is. She will
go and look for a guy to game.
Its not until the entertainer guy ceases to give a fuck that
he will have a chance to master natural game.
The Naturally Attractive Guy.
To master natural game is to enter a headspace where you
define your life and your reality with alpha actions
automatically. This is the case when you are born up until
the point that social conditioning begins.


Back in alignment with your nature you elicit emotions in

others as a by product of your own actions as opposed to
having to specifically make an effort to do so.
The naturally attractive guys strength of reality would rival
that of the most socially conditioned or ego validated
women. But the causality of his reality is inverse to the
socially conditioned. He defines it, as opposed to having it
projected onto him. In his reality he is adaptable and has
manoeuvrability when an ego based person is fixed in the
role they are cast into.
This manoeuvrability that exists due to non-ego restraints
means that, in his reality, he is the highest value entity. He
instantly communicates high value. People may try and
compliment him or destroy him but he will always know
what he is naturally at his core and no amount of
compliments or insults will change the fact. He is
perpetually indifferent.
The naturally attractive guy takes no objective opinions to
heart because no one else knows him the way he knows
him, and even if they did, no amount of verbal opinion
could change his mind set about his physically natural self
that literally cannot be changed.
Because any guys natural self cannot be altered, when he
lives in line with himself, when he mans the fuck up and
drops the socially conditioned pretending to be a chode
ego everything he is doing is coming from the right place.
That place is one of elite congruence with his masculinity.


When you have these realisations you realise that you are
enough when you live in alignment with your natural self.
You dont give a fuck what anyone thinks of you just as
much as you are unapologetic for the things that you do
because you dont have bad intentions. Sometimes people
may misinterpret that you have bad intentions but you hold
your frame until they understand.
When a naturally attractive guy interacts with girls it is
usually a very predictable pattern.
1.Firstly, the self is always coming through, the set is
receptive because high value will be communicated before
he even approaches.
2.Tests are given by the girls to ensure that the behaviours
they are seeing are in alignment with the core of the guy,
his nature.
3. You freely express yourself and inspire emotional spikes.
Attraction is a function of your ability to put your
personality on the line (Tim, 2005 www.naturaltim.com).
4. The set will hook because you are offering value,
demonstrating core confidence, your unreactive to tests and
asserting yourself.
5. The girl becomes aroused and attracted to you by your
freely expressing yourself, moving things forward and
dealing with tests.
A typical girl response to a naturally attractive guy will be
stifled and nervous behaviour in the same way as an

average guy would be stifled and nervous around a very

high value girl. The girl will make a specific effort to play
it cool, be less expressive, compliant and attentive to you.
The naturally attractive guy doesnt get a crush. He doesnt
form emotional feeling for a women until she has been
around long enough for her to make a lasting impression on
For a naturally attractive guy the girls he interacts with is
like dealing with someone with a crush on him.
The naturally attractive guy doesnt get crushes and doesnt
see new girls as higher value than him. He realises that it
would be self generated affection assigned to a women. He
realises that to have a crush or for a girl be his type is to
appeal to a false ego.
For you to have a crush on a girl is to imply that she has
higher value to you, of course once you get the girl the
power dynamic changes and you have the girl shes no
longer the rare and hard to get entity she once was. Crushes
are not part of a naturally attractive guys reality(1).


More accurately a natural guy is a closer first and figures
out which girl is the one most worth spending his time with
after time spent seeing her as opposed to dating her.
Because he has no ego he doesnt discriminate when it
comes to closing the deal. The more he closes, the more
indifferent he is and the higher value his value becomes.
High value plus a range of emotions equals attraction.
If you are a cool guy she will want to talk to you, if you
know who you are and are on your path and have access to
your infinite well you will make the vagina wet.
A = HV + ()E
A high value guys knows that because he is purely his
natural self he CANT NOT be attractive in the same way
that a bikini model cant not be attractive to guys. He

doesnt need to come up with reasons why he has to

rationalise and believe that his his game is a 10.
The naturally attractive guy cant figure out why his game
wouldnt be a ten.

1. Except n the case of the Marissa Cooper, the character

from The OC. But technically its irrelevant because she
isnt a real person.




Who Are You?

Thursday, August 21st, 2008
Who Are You, Self-Esteem versus Ego, Nature and
Nurture, and the Strength of your Reality.
What the fuck does it say on your ID?

Who you are is a combination of what you are and what

you do.
This entire blog is geared towards developing natural game
and natural attraction. So, in order to find out who you are,
it is important to find out who you naturally are; then, you
can be naturally attractive.
Lets think of how a woman naturally is, back in the
caveman days: skinny and naked.
Men are instantly and naturally attracted to this woman,
because it is her aesthetic, physical traits that inspires
attraction within them. Whereas, on the other side of the
coin, a man who is a natural, fully manned up and not

being a pussy, will behave in masculine ways that will

ultimate attract women. To behave 100% in congruence
with the man you are is to be attractive, and, consequently,
to behave incongruently with your natural masculinity is to
be unattractive.
Thats life.
When you are in line with your natural masculine self, you
will be attractive to women just because you are there, in
much the same way that a woman will be naturally
attractive just because she is there. (Remembering that you
both need to be attractive and the facilitator of escalation in
order to ultimately get the girl.)
Guys who are unnatural, and not behaving in congruence
with who they are, do so because of social conditioning. To
overcome this requires self-actualisation, and that is the
purpose of this article.
But, firstly, you must know that to try and learn how to
be a natural is to deny that you are already one in the first
Every guy has a natural man buried inside of him. To
unearth this, though, is a deductive and simplification
process, as opposed to a progression or an accumulation of
skills. When you are thinking about coming into alignment
with who you are, naturally, remember that it is always a
matter of stripping elements away from your personality,
instead of looking for something new or looking for the
missing piece.

To be un-naturally who you are is not who you are at all,

but rather some form of physically, surgically or
psychologically altered version of yourself.
It is the false self.
When I refer to who you are, I refer to the accumulation
of what you are, your personality, your identity, your
character, your traits, your sense of self, your ego, your
reality, your image and your persona. On closer inspection
all these tags are different names of the same thing, though
some are more accurate than others.
In short, who you are is comprised on two levels. One is the
solid physical foundation of what you are, and the other is
merely an expression of that foundation, manifested by
what you do.
This model accounts for who you are.

I have researched this model in field with hundreds of men;

in myself, my students, in guys like Tim, Tyler, Jeffy, Papa,
Derrick, Abercrombie, Pimpski, Nathan, Ozzie, Ryan and

Saad, and in other natural guys I grew up with, who are

also very good with women.
Why is it important to know who you are?
Because, if you dont, you will never behave in the ways
that are natural and congruent, and hence, you will not be
naturally and truly attractive.
When I talk about behaviour, I mean the actions that you
take; some are conscious, whilst others are not. A lot of the
time when guys are learning how to pick up, there is
incongruence with what they are thinking and what they are
actually doing. For example, a lot of my students approach
girls and get a conversation started because the girls
instantly sense that he is cool at his core (his natural self),
and because he took the action of approaching her. But, as
the set goes on, sometimes the students regress into socially
conditioned behaviours that are a force of habit, and are
ultimately incongruent with their natural selves.
These bad habits come from social conditioning.
If you are unstifled, an alpha guy, a natural or have
contextual confidence, your behaviours will be coming
from the right place, and there would be no reason for you
to compromise your natural intentions. But, if you are
stifled and socially conditioned, like the vast majority of
the world, your behaviours will come through a false-self
filter, causing your behaviours to seem forced, defensive,
or cautionary.
This is to behave unnaturally and is unattractive.

If your behaviours are unnatural, you will be incongruent

with your desires as a man, and you will constantly
question who you are. If a girl is more assured of who she
is, than you are assured of who you are, you will react to
her, be of lower value, and will not be inspirer of emotions.
You will not lead the girl; rather, she will lead you.
This is bad natural game.

However, if you do know who you are, inside and out, you
will never flinch and react to the girl, you will never lose
state and will always have core confidence. If you are a
good source of state for the girl, you will have her seeking
value, and reacting to you. You will be considered higher
value than the girls, because you know who you are more
than they know who they are, and will be naturally
attractive to every girl that you meet. Often times, they will
feel attraction for you before you even approach.
Like I said, and its important that I repeat this, most guys
do give off an initally attractive vibe, because they are, in
actuality, COOL GUYS! But, when they get into set they
pretend to be something different that what they naturally
are, causing them to fuck things up for themselves. This
occurs because they are under the misguided illusion that

socially conditioned bad habits are what they are supposed

to do.
But, first of all, how did I figure out, verify and find
evidence to support your understanding of who you
naturally are? Or, more accurately, WHAT you naturally
So far, I can think of six ways to figure out what a man
naturally is.
To find a natural guy, you need to find situations where
men are not stifled by social conditioning, which
suppresses their natural traits, and makes beta males out of
cool guys.
In situations where social conditioning doesnt exist, the
suppression of the alpha traits ceases and they naturally,
without thought, express themselves through the vehicle
that is your behaviour.
Your behavioural traits make you attractive or unattractive
to those around you.
Identify the which behaviours are natural, and understand
that deliberately implementing them and living in
congruence with them, is the key to knowing what you are,
who you are and, ultimately, being very attractive.
Knowing what you are and who you are is the first step to
conquering natural game.
The verifications of your natural self are :


1. The way a man is when he interacts with women of

another language. All social conditioning goes out the
window because the binding rules of social conditioning no
longer exist without the medium of language in which it
can be communicated. In these cross cultural scenarios,
people communicate to each other naturally, and attraction
and game becomes easier because youre not caught up in
socially conditioned standards or limitations.
2. The way a guy behaves when he is in nimbus state.
Nimbus is a term that, whilst not being scientific, is widely
accepted as the definition of someone with so much state
that he doesnt have the time to think, and is running on
pure emotions; in other words, he is devastatingly present.
Without being in a logical, cognitive headspace, he is
unstifled, and his natural, attractive behaviours rise up out
of him. When in the grip of nimbus, he automatically
behaves in ways that are naturally attractive to women
3. Behavioural commonalities between alpha males from
different cultures all around the world. Social conditioning
does exist in extremely varying forms in cultures all around
the world, butt, the alpha-beta dichotomy is the same. In
any culture, the alpha males attract all the girls, while they
suppress the alpha traits of all the other males, rendering
them beta. While traveling in Australia, Hawaii, South East
Asia, China, North America, Canada, Scandinavia, Great
Brittan and Western Europe, I have seen that all alpha
males have similar behavioural traits that are attractive to
women. This is true, as well, for each subculture and
different social circles in all of the above listed contexts.

All alpha males across the globe have distinct

commonalities in the way that they behave. These
behaviours are congruent with masculinity and naturally
attract women.
4. The way someone behaves before they are socially
conditioned, that is, when they are extremely primitive or
when they were very young. The behaviours that young
children exhibit, before they become conscious enough to
be socially conditioned, are all the behaviours that are
naturally attractive to women. It is not until they get older
that they begin to be disciplined into the frame of social
conditioning that suppresses their attractive natural alpha
behaviours. The fact that all young boys have the
behavioural traits that are attractive to girls is evidence
enough that anyone can be attractive to women and get
very god at pick up. The behavioural traits are inside you,
they are just suppressed.
5. The way a guy behaves when he is buzzed drunk, or
tipsy. You have had just enough alcohol to chemically
unstifled your social inhibitions, and nullify the limiting
beliefs that usually restrain you from acting on your natural
instincts. Alcohol is in inhibitionary drug that slows your
cognitive mind, allowing your emotional mind to again
dictate your behaviours. These behaviours are instinctive
and natural. Alcohol has been a major social lubricant for
millions of years, because it inspires attractive behaviours,
and, as such, is the common variable in almost every pick
up in this day and age.


6. What behaviours do all the Real Social Dynamics

instructors have in common although they are
phenomenally different people? If you can answer this
question you quite simply solve the (natural) game. Tim is
a carefree early-twenties Australian DJ, Tyler is a latetwenties philosophical research genius nerd (the term is
used affectionately in this context and to highlight
contrasts), Jeffy is an early thirties writer, who is a gangbangin, booze swillin, bad ass mother fucker and Ozzie is
a late thirties Hispanic man of passion, style, energy and
minimalism. They are all extremely different people, but
they have some common traits and behaviours that inspire
devastating attraction in women.

Basically, all the things listed above point to the traits that
define you naturally as a man. The only reason why you
wouldnt behave like the man you naturally are is if you are
socially conditioned. When you are socially conditioned,
your natural behaviours as a man are suppressed, and the
behaviours you do express through the filter of chode ego
are not attractive.


What are the common behavioural traits all men exhibit in

their natural state?
By nature, as a man, you are:
1. Present
2. Positive-dominant
3. A man of action.
To live in alignment with these traits is to be your natural
self, and to man up; not to live in alignment with your
natural self is to suppress your natural self and have a
chode ego.
There are other traits like eating, sleeping, and breathing,
but the traits listed are the behavioural traits specific to
alpha guys in their natural state, and specifically pertain to
Why are these three core traits attractive?
Being present and having presence.
When you have presence, everything you do just flows
and works. Its called being outside your head. When you
are not present, you are inside your head and everything is
forced, calculated and socially clumsy. To be present is to
have self trust and act smooth.
This is attractive.


This is the same as being in state, being on, or in the zone.

The only reason why you wouldnt be in state is if you
were dedicating your faculties (your cognitive RAM) to
things other than in the here and now. Basically, you are
firing on less than all cylinders.
Presence, most importantly, is about being in a headspace
where you dont second guess yourself and dont calculate
your actions. You behave without hesitation and with
conviction. Its the way you behave as a man that
determines whether girls will or will not be attracted to you.
Social conditioning is always stifling your ability to be
present. But, once you get into the right headspace, and are
in state, you act fearlessly, because the fear itself doesnt
have the time to register or taint and compromise your
natural behaviour.
When you are present you are completely outside you head
and you are not dedicating your headspace to supporting a
chode ego of any sort. Because your actions are not being
filtered through your chode ego, you behave with 100%
authenticity, and in alignment with who you are, naturally,
as a man.
The result is that you seen as naturally attractive.
You will tap into your blueprint and know exactly what to
do. Like the shaking of a magic eight ball, the right thing to
say or do will rise up and present itself to your
consciousness, when and only when you need it.


Thats why when you go in set and you are totally present,
or on, you will be naturally inclined to move things
forward, which helps the pickup. Also, when you are in a
natural headspace, you will be inclined to instinctively call
out people who say silly things and tease them playfully.
When you are in a natural headspace the exposure of the
girl to a full range of emotions will take care of itself.
When you are present, you dont go out of your way to
impress the girl, and you will simultaneously be carefree
about making bad impressions on people around you.
Expression is more important than impression. As soon as
she realises that you dont care if you make mistakes (in
contrast to classical pick up theory) she will see that you
are fully unstifled. She will know that you have no ego, and
are intrinsically of high value because you hold yourself in
higher opinion than anyone else. Girls will be attracted to
you and other, more stifled guys, will look up to you and
buy you drinks.
When present, everything is simplified. As Tim said in
Transformations, the only thoughts that will enter your

headspace are girl hot girl get hot girl. Natural game
is a minimalist discipline. This simplicity of natural game,
and the carefree mindsets that drive it, make it a fun way to
go about things. You feel good, and if you follow the
golden rule of natural game, the girl will feel good.
(By the way, did you ever hear or experience the saying:
time flies when youre having fun? Actually, its the
other way around, you have fun when times flies. You have
fun because you are so in the moment that you forget about
the abstract notion of time, and in your default, unstifled
and outside your-head-state, you feel great. They old saying
is true, but the causality is actually inverted.)
When you are present, you will be fully dialed into your
empathy, and you will be aware of how people are reacting
to you, and very importantly, respond smoothly instead of
reacting and losing value.
Remember, you are responsive, not reactive.
While acting freely and unstifled, you will have the
presence of mind to change up what you are doing to
remain in a unreactive and leading frame, where you are
the one who dictates the energies and rhythms of the
Its possible that you might act in unstifled ways that
offend, annoy or bore others. But, peoples opinions of
everything are subjective and they could interpret what you
do in any way. If, for any reason, what you do comes off as
socially miscalibrated, but still authentic, it will generate a

congruence test. This gives you an opportunity to show the

girl that you are high value because you are unapologetic
(you dont give a fuck what anyone thinks), unreactive and
congruent with yourself as a man.
Know that there is no such thing a perfect pick up, as it
wouldnt gel with the girls reality, because people arent
perfect. You would be more entertaining than you would be
high value. Imperfection is authentic. You, acting through
your own natural intentions and dealing with whatever
repercussions that come up, is authentic. Plus, the notion of
perfection is subjective. So, you doing things your own
way and dealing with objections to it or miscalibration,
confirms the strength of your reality to the girls you are
interacting with. Being imperfect and responding in real
time, while present, confirms your value as a function of
your internal centeredness and makes you attractive.
When present, you are fully tuned into the social matrix,
and your responsivity, not reactivity, will give you a social
intuition that few others have. This natural view of the
social matrix gives you an unclouded view, that people who,
harboured by ego, are restricted by. This social intuition
will help you to make educated decisions and read
situations and people in a way that, egotistically, others
would be completely blind to.
All instructors have this social intuition through experience,
and it serves to help read situations, and operate with a lot
more maneuverability than most other people.


Presence is the key to confidence. We know that it is a man

acts with confidence that is attractive to women. For the
most part, people achieve confidence through money, status,
power, looks and other externally derived feedback.
Problem is, though, that if you dont have these things then
you will not have confidence. Even then, if you had money,
status, power etc, and then they were taken from you, your
confidence would also disappear,
Presence, and living in the moment, gives you confidence
because you forget limiting beliefs and socially conditioned
indicators of status. You have a clear and pure headspace
that puts nothing between you and what you perceive you
The truth is, confidence is not learnt, earned or achieved.
Confidence is default.
Become present, access your confidence.
Behave with no doubt: get girls.
Ask yourself: what stands between me and getting what I
When you pose the question like that, its only bullshit you
that you impose on yourself that hold you back from
achieving success.


Being present is intrinsically linked to the notion of

radiating presence (nimbus). When you are present, you are
unreactive to everything, because you are responsive.
When you are present, you are the cause, and others around
you become the effect. You are unstifled because you
impose no limits on yourself. When people say that you
have presence, it is because people around you are reacting
to you. In traditional non-game speak, guys with presence
are thought of as being attractive.
Lastly, being present is being plugged into the world. When
you are not present, inside your head or harbouring an ego,
you impose a barrier between you and the world. You feel
disconnected to the world in the same way that the world
will be disconnected to you. When you are present, in the
moment, everything flows smoothly, and you connect with
the world and can connect emotionally to the girls you
interact with.
When you are present, you walk through the world with
ease; nothing enters your headspace to hold you back, you
feel confident and are unburdened. When you are present
you feel great and empowered.
Whatever you feel, she feels.
There is more on presence that I could talk about, but for a
fuller understanding read Eckhart Tolle. The few other
things that relate to presence will be covered in the self
esteem section below, as presence and self esteem are
intertwined and linked.


Positive-Dominance (Think of Tims woo + intent)

This behavioural trait has a lot to do with the golden rule of
natural game: whatever you feel, she feels.
Positive-dominant communication styles are actually a
result of being fully present. You will find yourself
communicating positively-dominantly in situations where
you are comfortable with friends and family. This is
generally characterised as having a breaking rapport
tonality and being in a good state.
To learn to implement positive dominance, do this exercise
(Tyler has published versions of this before):
Say, Oi!
Did it come out as negative and dominant?
Now, clap your hands fast 5 or 6 times to get pumped up,
into state and present, before, once again, saying Oi!
Now that youre in the moment, coming from a place of
energy and using your natural tonality (which is default
breaking rapport if youre a man), you have just exhibited
positive-dominant behaviour.
The thing is, though, that when you are talking to a girl,
you will be inclined to put on a special personality to game
her. However, if you stay true to your own rhythm, come
from a place of energy and draw state from within, you will
already be communicating in just the way you need to be in
order to be congruent with who you are.

If you see any one of the RSD instructors giving a

presentation, they will unconsciously speak with positivedominance. Youtube RSD guys now to sample it firsthand,
or Listen to Tim in this clip.
He speaks with enthusiasm and with a breaking rapport
tonality. But, its not an effort for him, its natural. He is
unstifled and, as a result, in alignment with the man he was
born to be.
You can also think of positive dominance as assertiveness
with a smile.
But, its not just communication styles, but positivedominant actions that are attractive as well. As a man, you
need to take responsibility for your reality, or someone else
will take responsibility for you. Most guys are socially
conditioned, and are the opposite of positive-dominant.
These guys are passive-pessimistic, and is is your average
everyday guy in the club.
Examine the graph below.


These guys are only repressed because of social

conditioning. The unstifled you will be operating naturally,
and you will freely express yourself positive-dominantly.
All the examples of guys communicating and interacting
with women naturally have this commonality. Positive
dominance is what all the instructors have in common even
though they are vastly different people.
Positive-dominant behaviour, as an expression of the
natural self, elicits a very strong response in women in the
same way that a woman in her natural state would elicit a
very strong response in you as a man.
Tim talks about the four types of guys in the world. It is
only the positive-dominant (woo plus intent) guy that is
sexworthy. All other types of guys are pretending to be

chode and are acting in a stifled and unnatural way. No

natural behaviour equates to no natural attraction.
Further evidence for your natural congruence with positivedominance can be found in examples where you are in a
position of positivity and/or dominance.
When you are managing, leading, starting a party, asserting
yourself, trusting yourself, when you are light-hearted or
when you are challenging yourself, you are displaying
positive dominance. When you are in these positions you
feel good. It is a fact that, in your natural or default state,
you feel good.
When you feel good, the girl feels good.
Interaction dynamics fall into place when you are
congruent with yourself fully as a man.
When guys are in state, their behaviour instinctively stems
from the right place, and is positive dominant. When guys
are out of state, they intentionally do positive-dominant
things, to generate their own state, and get into the moment.
There is a lot more to say about positive-dominance (or
woo and intent), but it has been said in other blogs, and on
Tims Flawless Natural product. If there was a magic pill of
natural game, this would be it. This is the default mode of
behaviour for any natural. To be out of congruence with
positive dominance would be unnatural and unattractive.


You simply wont feel right if youre not behaving in

congruence with your natural tendencies of positive
If you dont feel right, the girl wont feel right.
Once catch to the positive dominant trait is that you have to
generate it from within; this takes responsibility. But, once
implemented, its easy to maintain, as you find a rhythm
that you will find others reacting to. Its the active
responsibility of implementation that will set you apart
from all the other beta males and gamer chodes, rendering
you an alpha male and naturally attractive.
Escalation and Being a Man Of Action.
This behavioural trait is harder to give an accurate name to.
When I refer to escalation, I mean that you are a man who
communicates himself physically, following your path in
life, and you moving with interactions with women.
A rule of thumb is the difference between friendly and
flirty is physicality.
The escalation trait is epitomised by the well known notion
of the window of opportunity. If you are incongruent with
your natural tendencies to escalate as a man, an interaction
will quickly go backwards.
On the other hand, if you escalate early, even miscalibrated,
it will demonstrate congruence with your natural self.
Unless you suffer from a total lack of empathy, physical
escalation is a very quick and obvious demonstration of

natural game and of being unstifled. Counter intuitively, it

is attractive to escalate sooner, rather than later.
As a man it is your responsibility to move things forward.
For a girl, to do such things would be slutty, and she would
risk rejection. Plus, if you are not the one to lead things
forward, it would not give her the chance to give you tests
that you can pass and demonstrate the necessary value and
congruence that would render you an attractive option to
With each positive-dominant behaviour that you exert, that
is in alignment with your escalation trait, and with each
congruence test that you pass, her level of attraction to you
progressively rises like a volume dial. By that same token
when you act out of congruence, the dial can go down, or if
you fail to escalate things forward, the attraction dial can
also reverse downwards.
Away from interactions, it is you moving forward in life as
a man that makes you not only attractive to women, but
fulfils your own life experience. Men are naturally inspired
to explore, take adventures, take risks, progress, expand
and build. This is verification of natural alignment, because
you feel good when you are doing these things.
When you feel good the girl feels good.
Contrastingly, it can be acutely painful or disheartening to
regress, go backwards or find yourself stuck in a position
that you cannot move forward from.


Most simply, if you take action you will be attractive.

Essentially, if you have more conviction in your actions
then the other men around, you will achieve more, and
come more into congruence with yourself as a man.
Other facets of escalation are what Tim calls intent,
decisiveness and risk taking. The more action you take, the
more you grow through experience, ultimately resulting in
you becoming internally centered, indifferent and
intrinsically higher value.
In a lot of cases, if someone takes action or assumes a
leadership role, people will automatically follow, because
most socially conditioned people will be used to others
taking responsibility for them. If you have ever taken a girl
on a date and asked her, what do you want to do, the
generic answer will almost always be I dunno. Its your
job as a man to decide and make things happen; if you
dont, nothing will happen.
A lot of people who study pick up know what to do to get
girls. A lot of people who dont study pick up also could
figure out what it might take to get girls. But, at the end of
the day, it comes down to their ability to take action and
escalate the situation. If the way a women looks is what
makes us attracted to her, it the fact that you ACTUALLY
TAKE ACTION as a man that will make her attracted to
You inspire attractiveness as a man by the actions you take;
the more actions you take that are in alignment with your


natural self, the more the attraction dial is jacked to and

past the critical points.
(NOTE: if you take action that is just plain weird and
unnatural, because you are not positive-dominant or not
present, you will decrease the attraction dial)
In some extreme cases, guys will get laid even if they have
no game and are jerks, arrogant or assholes, simply because
they move things forward. Most community guys forget
that girls want to be laid by a cool guy. Dont
overcomplicate the process; you need to take every
responsibility for her getting laid.
Being fully in alignment naturally with what you are.
To be 100% present, 100% positive-dominant and 100% a
man of action/escalation is to achieve ELITE
CONGRUENCE, and this is what makes the guys who are
the best with women the best. In basic terms they have
manned up in all their glory.


Tim talks about obeying the core. The core is presence,

positive-dominance and escalation combined. To disobey
the core would be to act against the instincts of the core,
and the above listed traits, and would obviously be
detrimental to your natural game.
More importantly, though, is that coming into alignment
with yourself as a man isnt a progressive or cumulative
process. Actually, its a deductive process that requires that
you let go of external forces
It requires you to MAN DOWN.


Connotatively, the words MAN DOWN might seem

negative, but thats the idea. Instead of searching externally
for something to confirm your-self image as a man, instead
look internally at what you are and come into alignment
with it.
When you do let go, when you do MAN DOWN, you will
find strength, confidence, integrity, self assurance, self
esteem, coolness, positivity, dominance, a carefree
headspace, and you will feel really fucking good.
When you feel really fucking good the girls will feel really
fucking good.
You stop pretending to be a chode by acting out of
congruence with what you are, and become egoless. You
feel good knowing that all you are is a man.
You cannot escape what you are; the only option is to come
into congruence with it.

This is a simple, but very powerful idea.

The fact of the matter is, you are almost genetically
identical to every other man in the world. Come into
alignment with yourself as a man, in terms of the above
behaviour, and everything you do will be COMING FROM
THE RIGHT PLACE. When you come from the right place,
as if by magic, everything you do will work very well.
So what happens when you are out of congruence with
what you naturally are? When you are not your natural
You have a chode ego, which suppress your natural and
default state of self esteem.
When Chode Ego Suppresses Self Esteem.
To be fully natural, unstifled and not socially conditioned,
is to have self esteem, and be in your default state.
With self esteem comes attractiveness.
As you are socially conditioned, you begin to identify
yourself in terms of ego and, erroneously derive a sense of
self from external sources. Of course, if you define yourself
in terms of external factors, your sense of self will
disappear if you lose sight of them.
Also, when you identify yourself in terms of external
factors, you will always be seeking external validation, and
defend against making bad impressions. Overall, you are
going to be sucking value from those around you, and

butting heads with those who dont buy into your sense of
self. You will distance yourself from people who dont see
you the way you want them to see you, because it will
shake your reality and weaken your sense of self.
Imagine, conceptually, that all you have is a physically
entity, depicted here simply as a circle.

When you are born this is uncompromised and you have

self esteem. There is no reason for self esteem, you are
simply born with it, and you come into the world feeling
But over time, as you enter into childhood, and early
adolescence, you are continually slapped on the hand, and
disciplined to think and operate in certain ways. You are
stifled by the world around you, and taught to think and
behave in ways that are conducive to living soundly in
society and supporting the economy.

This is unnatural and abstractly defined. During this

process, your perception of the physical entity that is your
natural self is compromised. When the natural self is
compromised, so is your self esteem, and so is your daily
If the way you feel about yourself is diminished, the way
the girl feels about you will also be diminished.
This is depicted here, where you can see the external forces
imposing on you and pushing your self esteem inwards.

While this happens, you begin to look to identify yourself

with something to compensate for a lack of natural self. It
could be that you identify with being a goth, a PUA, a
dentist, a basketball player or even a hippy.
Who and what you are is continually defined, by what you
are trying to project, and by what people are projecting

onto you. One the one hand, you go out of your way to seek
validation in conversations when you meet new people, and
simultaneously, stop taking risks because you dont want to
be de-validated.
The ego is depicted here as the outer circle between you
and the world. As you can see, you are always pinging with
your ego and trying to hold it in place. It is a negative
process that puts you in your head.
There are numerous, massive problems with ego in pickup.
Firstly, as you can see in the graph, you go through the
world stifled and instantly communicate to others that you
live in reaction to the world around you. This is reactive,
lower value and unattractive.
Secondly, if for whatever reason your ego and falsely
projected sense of self is questioned, or proved to be less
that you are trying to project, your entire sense of self
comes crashing down and you feel terrible, even suicidal.
Once again, this is an abstract concept, but let me use some
famous people as an example. Think about it in terms of the
ego graphic.


Take Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton and Amy

Winehouse all as examples of people whose ego based
sense of self lead to their downfall.
These examples, with the exception of Paris Hilton, are all
people whose profession is entertainer. While they were
born and Christened with their names those same names
became their brand, like Nike or Apple. They identify,
egotistically and erroneously, with their brand because it is
one and the same name.
Their brand is their sense of self.
Of course, when they are getting positive external feedback
from the world, it massively pumps their ego they feel
great because the world tells them they can feel great. In
the cases of these international entertainers, I would
imagine the high and fan fare would be like taking drugs of

un-comprehendible pleasure. All of a sudden, who they are

is the best thing in the world.
But, when that feedback becomes negative, it will
constitute their sense of self as well. Who they are becomes
a product of what is projected onto them by their critics and
the paparazzi. It is publicly documented that the lows that
entertainers go through are devastating and push these
people to the brink of suicide. Oftentimes, the stars turn to
drugs to escape the brutal scrutiny of the media and quickly
spiral downwards.
For people who erroneously identify with their ego, who
they are is only as good as the feedback they get. Their
state, and the way they feel, is a product of what people
project onto them. They are always fighting an uphill battle
to keep everyone happy.
This could be avoided by not identifying with their name,
as a brand, and instead simply identifying with what they
are as human beings. In the case of you, the blog reader,
that means simple identifying with what you are as a man.
There are a lot of other entertainers in the same position of
scrutiny and public profile that do not identify with their
feedback, but instead identify with what they are. Their
entertaining is for themselves, not for the crowds;
expression not impression.
They dont take the positive feedback or the negative
feedback too seriously. Like a guy who knows who he is,
he doesnt value the opinions of others over his opinion of

himself. When you talk to a really cool guy and give him
props, he wont be overly enthused by it, because your
opinion of him will never hold more weight than his
opinion of him; my mentor, Tyler, is a great example of
this. Examples of performers in the entertainment world are
Robbie Williams and Bono from U2.

In the case of you, the aspiring pick up artist, identifying

with feedback is a massive trap that can lead to your
downfall, pain, inconsistency and sometimes quitting the

When you set out to become a guy who is good with girls,
you think you are out to learn to become something that
you currently are not. To think that you need to learn to be
naturally attractive is to deny that you were attractive in the
first place. As I said above, learning natural game is a
deductive process of surrendering and letting go.
As you start in the game, and begin to get results, you
change up the chode ego with the Im good with girls
ego; you erroneously derive your sense of self from
different forms of feedback you get instead of deriving
your sense of self from what you actually are. You go to
the clubs and dont push the interactions forward because
you are fatally afraid of de-validation, and when you talk to
girls you arent out to have fun, you are playing to not lose.
A lot of guys in the game have this experience after some
initial good results and experiences. What makes matters
worse is once you think you have externally achieved a
sense of self, or ego of Im good with girls, when you do
actually approach girls all you do is suck value out of them
in a quest to confirm that youre STILL good with girls.
The most dangerous and hazardous downfall of having an
ego in the game is your fluctuating state and lack of
The golden rule of natural game is whatever you feel, she
feels. If you feel bad because you are having a bad night
and your sense of self isnt being validated, you feel
absolutely terrible. If you dont do as well that night as you
have done in the past, you hate yourself. The result is girls

wont even talk to you, and consistently blow you out

instantly. There is incongruence with how you act, and
what you are, and you will find yourself approaching with a
weird pick up persona, as opposed to being your natural

Like its shown in the graphic, conceptually you are only a

physical, natural entity. When you identify with anything
other than your natural self, it stands in the place of what
you naturally are. Your self esteem is suppressed and you
probably turn to booze or drugs to escape the feeling of
failure and frustration.

If you let yourself identify with external factors, its like a

fungus that suppresses your natural self or your core. Every
behaviour that you implement comes through an ego filter
that is tainted of its natural origins, making it unattractive.
When you are socially conditioned and have an externally
defined ego, you are part of an intricate social web that
keeps you in place with others like you.

If you dont know who you are, someone else will define it
for you, or at least in conjunction with your desired
projection of yourself. If you have a weak idea of who you
are, you will be easily swayed by someone with a strong
reality projecting an identity onto you. With external
projection will come a compromise of state and self esteem.
Even if you have a fairly strong sense of self, you are still
at the mercy of others projecting onto you. The goal is to
have an internally defined sense of self. Only then will you
achieve the precious game traits of unreactiveness,
centeredness, self esteem, state and very importantly, you
will never have negative state.


If you define yourself in terms of what you naturally are,

as found in the examples of unstifled guys, and in terms of
the behavioural traits that the example guys commonly
possess (presence, positive dominance, and being a man of
action/escalation), you will be perpetually attractive and
always in a good state.
You will conquer natural game.

Several things will happen, all of which would be in stark

contrast to old socially conditioned chode ego.
You make the transformation from beta male to alpha male
Instead of having the world take responsibility for who and
what you are, you do it and you can then empower yourself
to become anything you want to be.
Because you are now internally centered, you have the
inner strength and self assurance to turn what you perceive

into what you project. You can change others perceptions

of themselves and their realities, because your self
assurance is greater than theirs and they will trust you,
because you trust yourself more than they trust themselves.
In your world, you now become the cause and not the effect,
you feel in control and you take the reins of your destiny.
Self imposed bullshit that used to hold you back no longer
exists, because you have come to the realisation that it was
all externally imposed and socially conditioned, which your
former, weak reality was using to try to make sense of the
You achieve integrity because your actions completely line
up with who you are. Your actions are all in congruence
with the man you were born to be. You are not questioned
about the things you do because you have nothing to hide.
You dont give a fuck and you are unapologetic because
you have good intentions and intrinsically offer value to the
You realise that you are the only common denominator in
the world, and that as much as you might try, there is
nothing you can do to consistently elicit a predictable
response by manipulating the people around you. When
you let go of trying to control reactions, you walk through
the world with ease; you feel good, you can freely act
through your own intentions and people will follow you
and look to you for leadership.
You can achieve instant strong rapport with anyone
because you are real, whereas so many other people are

fake. People indentify with you instantly, because they see

themselves in you, and can relate to you simply because
you are both people. When you have integrity you dont
need to implement rapport phases, as the girl will feel like,
and sometimes say to you, that she feels like she has known
you for a long time even though you have just met.
When you let go of external constraints and ego based
limitations, you feel kind of giddy because you begin to
realise your potential. Once you take responsibility for your
reality you realise you have great power. Some people have
difficulty dealing with such power and squander it away.
Success barriers are a whole other post, but all you have to
remember is that your sense of entitlement is proportionate
to your taking responsibility.
Let me say that again:
In the same way that if you earn five million dollars you
feel entitled to it, value it and keep it. If you didnt earn it
you will feel like you cheated and will ultimately squander
or sabotage it. In terms of women, if you manipulate a girl
into bed who you think is out of your league, you are likely
to sabotage the relationship or even yourself; you dont feel
like you deserve her.
However, if you take responsibility for your reality and
internally centre yourself, there is no reason why you dont
deserve the best. In your mind, you realise that the girl will

be best with you because you know who you are and can
offer more value than any other guy can. You take
responsibility and realize that you are doing the right thing
for the both of you.
When you take responsibility of your reality, your potential
can overwhelm and scare you more than your failures will.
Basically, you become the equivalent to what a model hot
girl is to a chode guy, when you come into congruence with
what you are. All of a sudden, you get treated a lot better
by everyone around you.
The thing is, though, that guys in congruence with what
they are as men are a lot rarer than model hot girls. Guys in
the world who were born alpha are usually married or have
girlfriends pretty early in life, because the girls go crazy
over him and pin him down quickly. If you are a student of
natural game you find yourself in a reality where, to quote
Jeffy, you have the sex drive of a man, but the options of a


Even when you do make the shift, and identify simply with
what you are, it requires will power and continual action to
retain that internal centeredness. Continual action will
prevent you from letting external influences seep back in
and alter your perception of who and what you are.
Now, know this:
Look at the two graphs below. The first shows your life
cycle from birth, through social conditioning to beta chode,
and then going full circle, self actualising and re-aligning
with your natural self as a man. As you can see, there are
four types of men in the world. Only the sex worthy guy is
in alignment with his natural self as a man. You are born
that way and you will re-align with your natural self when
you learn to drop your ego and find your natural self as a
man. It could be called manning down and letting go.


In this second graphic you can see superimposed which of

these guys have ego and which have self esteem. To have
self esteem is to be natural, and to have an ego is to be
unnatural. Being natural is attractive; being unnatural is
weird and unattractive.



A strong reality can be derived from one of two ways. One

the one hand, it can be strong from continual consistent
feedback from the world around you; see Tom Cruises
character from Vanilla Sky as an example of this. On the
other hand, your reality can be strong as a function of
knowing what you are and living in congruence with it. The
character James Bond is an example of this.
In the first case, when your reality is defined from external
feedback, you will always be at the mercy of possible
negative feedback should it happen. In Vanilla Sky, when
Tom Cruises character is injured, and external feedback no
longer reinforces his sense of self, he breaks down and
freaks out.

But, it is important to note that in his strong reality, prior to

the characters accident, he was attractive because he had a
strong sense of self, and people who had lesser realities
around him would react to him. He had higher value


In the case of the James Bond character, in whatever

situation he is in, he can define his reality by projecting
what he perceives onto the situation. Once again, this is a
strong reality, but the causality is different. When you
know what you are and live in congruence with it, you have
the inner strength and centeredness to define your reality
around you on a moment by moment basis. When you live

like this, your reality will always be strong and will remain
strong, even in changing and unpredictable situations.
Self esteem, and congruence with what you are, as a man,
is mandatory pre-requisite for a strong reality. A strong and
adaptable reality is essential to core confidence and having
people react to you in all situations. When people react to
you, you are high value and they experience emotional
spikes and arousal when they interact with you.
The real social dynamics instructors, who taught and
mentored me, are examples of guys with core confidence
and self defined and adaptable realities. Last week, I spent
the week in Hawaii with Tim, Tyler, Jeffy and Saad.
Watching these guys confirmed everything I am reporting


Women also have a very strong reality, but like Tom

Cruises character in Vanilla Sky, it is derived contextually
from external sources. This is why hot women love to go to
clubs and be validated; it pumps their state.
In modern times, the higher cognitive brain can supersede
emotional impulses and natural tendencies, but for the
purpose of this article I will report in terms of womens
natural and emotional tendencies.
Evolutionarily (and only evolutionarily, so as not to be
misogynistic, as things are different in this day and age), it
was as though womens value was derived externally as
they were dependant on men. If a caveman saw a woman,
he would simply fight the other cavemen for the rights to
alpha status, before he took her. It didnt matter what he
looked like, all that mattered was that he was the manliest
the tribe. Of course, this inspires good genetic evolution.


For cavewomen, it was as though their sense of self was a

function of the way the cavemen reacted to them, whereas a
cavemans sense of self was nothing more than what he
was and what he did.
For the caveman, it would have been a constant battle and
constant implementation of his physical self to survive and
replicate. The caveman, who took the most responsibility
for his cave reality, would have been the most attractive
alpha male (Reference mirror theory from The Blueprint by
Tyler from RSD www.theblueprintdecoded.com).
Cavemen were cavewomens mirrors. This evolutionary
pattern still resides in the human brain today, as a result of
evolution, and is stifled and cognitively controlled by our
higher cortex brain.


In this day and age, the natural attraction triggers are the
same as those evolutionarily derived, and are a result of
millions of years of natural selection.
With this in mind, men in congruence with what they are
will be attractive to women.
A socially conditioned woman might be one who is busy
trying to control everyone or acting bitchy. On a more
physiological level, social conditioning for women can
result in a severe compromise of self esteem, and
sometimes women will eat to compensate for that. Women
in bad physical shape are unattractive. In cave-days things
like obesity would have been rare, because food was far
from abundant.

Importantly, when you come into congruence with what

you are, as a man, you will always have the capacity to be
intrinsically higher value than women. You can know what
you are on your own, whereas (evolutionarily) a womens
sense of self is partly derived by the validation of others.
Interestingly, as a side note, what you are as a man is
hormonally a lot more consistent than the hormonal cycle
of a woman. Your hormones dictate your natural urges and
behaviours. Having a more stable hormonal profile
advocates that you should be more centered and stable than
a woman is by nature. This is why women are attracted to a
man who knows who he is. He becomes a point of stability
in her life, and intrinsically higher value in an emotional

(NOTE: again, not to sound misogynistic, but these are the

natural evolutionary tendencies of people that cant be
avoided. In this day and age, and with modern peoples
cognitive capacities, these natural tendencies can be
consciously overcome. But in social, emotional and often

drunk situations, people behave in accordance with their

natural emotional selves.)
If you know who you are more than the women knows who
she is, you will have a stronger reality than her, will be of
higher value, and as a result, she will react to you and be
aroused by the emotional spikes.
Attraction equals higher value plus the inspiration of a full
range of emotions.

The below graphic shows the strength of your reality. You

will not have a strong reality, albeit fragile, if it is
continually and consistently defined by others (for example
the reality of a hot girl). If you dont know who you are,
and struggle to figure out if you trust yourself more than
you trust others, you will have a very weak reality and
continually react to others.
If you totally understand what you are, and you act in
congruence with it, then your sense of self cannot be taken
away from you. People will always react to you, and you
will be fully in alignment with yourself as a man.
You will be very attractive.


The term nurture refers to your physical bodys experience
in the world. Your nature is your physical self. Who you
are a combination of what you are (Nature) and what you
do (Nurture).
A lot of people erroneously think that the things they do in
the world constitutes who or what they are. When they
make this association and harbour this mindset, they

suppress their nature, and their natural self esteem.

Naturally, you are simply a man in all of your glory, and to
think of yourself other than that is to diminish your natural
masculine sense of self.

But, if you make the realisation that the things that you do
are just expressions of your natural male self, then you
never diminish your natural sense of self, your masculinity,
your self esteem or state.
If you see yourself in terms of what you are, combined with
what you do, then everything you do comes from a place of
congruence with your natural self.
You could be a basketball player, a pick up artist, a doctor
or a hippy, but you still retain your natural self, which is
naturally attractive. All the things you do are a function of
you being a man, and nothing more than a celebration and
implementation of what you are.

As a man it is your actions that make you attractive, not

your ego. When you identify with what you are, naturally
as a man, everything you do is coming from the right place
of congruence and masculine strength. You can literally do
anything, or be anything, and still be attractive, as long as
you are tapping into your masculinity and coming from the
right place.

This is where the catch phrase, expression not impression

comes from. (http://alexattitude.com/?p=22). Everything
that you do is generated from a place of abundance and
indifference, and is purely an expression of your true self.
You are not seeking validation or acting through egoic
You are unstifled, indifferent and higher value, and people
react to you more than you react to them.
When you walk through the world as a man who is living in
congruence with who you are, you soon realize that you
arent your achievements, and do not identify with them.
This way, you can do a lot of different things, sample many

different experiences and not worry about being tagged or

boxed in as being a certain type of person.
Think of it like this:
Just because you fucked everything up, doesnt make you a
fuck up.
Even if you screwed all the girls from Victorias Secret, it
doesnt make you a player.
Take credit and responsibility, sure, but what you do isnt
what you are, its merely a function and expression of what
you are.
When you are in congruence with what you are, naturally,
the things that you do are merely A CELEBRATION OF
YOURSELF (see Tim in Transformations).
You can also think of the different things you do as
different ways of decorating yourself.
(http://naturaltim.com/?p=16). Take,for example, the way
you dress or wear your hair. It can take many different
forms, but its just an expression or a decoration of your
physical self.
People ask the RSD guys, Why do you get dressed in the
morning if you dont give a fuck what anything thinks of
The answer is simple.

Guys who know who they are dont care how you are
received, or about the impression they make on others; they
are only interested in what they can control.
This is an expression of their natural self.
Following the model of who you are, being a combination
of what you are and what you do with yourself, you can
take on different personalities in different situations, dress
differently, transform yourself over and over, but still be
attractive. Because, in each situation, the variable of you as
a man doesnt alter. Everything, as different as it may be,
will work because it comes from a place of natural male
Tyler talks about dynamic nature of your existence in his
(http://realsocialdynamics.blogspot.com/2007/11/dynamicnature-of-your-existence.html). Who you are, over the
course of your life, can take on many forms of expression,
but as long as you are congruent with your nature, as a man,
its all good. If you compromise your natural sense of self,
you begin to get headaches, a weakened reality and begin
to suck with girls.
Identity, personas, and the different roles you play all come
from a place of strength when you know what you are.
They are all accurate.
It only ceases to be true if you perceive what you do
compensates for what you are.


There are a lot of different men out there, in the world, who
are attractive. The commonalities between them are the fact
that they are in congruence with what they are as men. But
it is there differing experiences in life, which make them
Everyone has a different story, a different sense of humour,
different goals and they decorate themselves in different
ways, and this is why women can be attracted to different
types of men. The thing that makes them attractive is that
they dont identify with that they do. They identify with
what they are, they know themselves more than the women
knows herself, and as a result, she reacts to him and is
aroused by the emotional spike ripples that come from him.
Youre the same as every other man, it is only how you
apply yourself, and the way you behave that makes you
attractive. To identify with what you have done is to form
an ego, and to cease actively behaving in the ways that are
congruent to you as a man. You become unattractive
because you think you have the game won, purely on your
past experiences.
As a man you will feel unfulfilled when you stop taking
action, and the women around you will not be attracted to
you, because you will seek validation of what you
erroneously think you are. You will cease to continue to
grow by discontinuing taking actions.
As a student of natural game, seek out the examples of the
RSD coaches on DVD, or attend a bootcamp, to learn
firsthand from guys who get it.


Two concepts that Nathan is well known for is being the

man you are supposed to be, and being your own Guru.
These are particularly valuable as Nathan is one of the most
masculine and alpha guys on the team.

Learn from the coaches what it means to align yourself

with your nature.
At some point, once you have come into congruence with
what you, it will be time to take the learning baton from
your coach and be your own Guru. When you have learnt
enough from your master, you then step up and trust
yourself to do the right thing when decision contingencies
present themselves. You can be your own guru when you
are in alignment with the man you are supposed to be; it
doesnt matter what you do, it will work simply because it
is coming from the right place.
Leonardo da Vinci said, poor is the student who does not
surpass his master. What he meant by this is at some point,
after you have learned all you can, you need to transcend
those who have gone before you, and trust that you can be
better because it is you who is doing it.

Profoundly, when my close colleague Ryan made the final

transition from student of natural game, to master of natural
game, he made a stunning summary that sums up what it
means to be who you are.

Ryan said, Its not the right action because its the correct
thing to do in the situation, its the correct thing to do
because you are the one doing it. I know what to do
because I am the game.
When you know who you are, you will know what to do.
Who you are is a combination of what you are and what
you do.
I have figured out what you are, and what it means to be a
man, by looking at examples of how men behave when
they are not socially conditioned, and have tested this
theory with hundreds of students, myself and profiling
other instructors over the last two years.


I found that how you behave is what makes you attractive,

and when you behave in congruence with your natural self,
you behave in attractive ways.
I found that knowing who you are is an essential
prerequisite before you can truly satisfy the attraction
formula. If you dont know who you are more than the girls
you interact with, your reality will be weak and reactive.
Contrastingly, when you know who you are, you have a
strong reality, you are higher value and people react to you.

I learned that you get NIMBUS when you are escalating,

acting positively-dominant and are present in the moment..


I learned that who you are is not what you do, and that to
identify with what you do, or what is projected onto you, is
erroneous and gives you a weak reality.
I learned that when you discontinue to identify with what
you do, when external factors dont contribute to your
sense of self, you MAN DOWN and identify with what you
are naturally.
What you identify with what you are, you always feel good
about being a man. When you feel good, the girls you
interact with feel good!
When you understand who you are, you are always in state.
The more you express yourself, the higher state you are in.
More state youre in, the more attractive you are.
Unbreakable state is the key to good natural game. Its like
you cant not have ten out of ten game.

When you know who you are, you have core confidence
because you define your reality.
When you know who you are, you are assertive, because
you are congruent with yourself as a man and take
responsibility for the situations you are in.
When you know who you are, you are unreactive, because
you know who you are more than anyone else knows who
they are.
When you know who you are, you offer value because
everything you do is simply an expression of your core
natural self. You have no ego and you take no value. Just
by taking action you offer value to the world.
I learned that by nature, you cant escape that you are a
man, and to try and escape it is to pretend to be a chode. I
learned that by nurture, everyone has their own story, and
can take any range of interchangeable forms but still be
I realised that the advice be yourself is all you will ever
need to be attractive, as long as you know what it means to
be yourself. I realised that the reason why love happens
when youre not looking for it is because, when you are
being yourself, you are doing all the right things that make
you attractive.
I learned that when freed of the burden of ego, EVERY
MAN STARTS EQUAL. If you want to be a special

snowflake, you have to take action. Its when you take

action that you are attractive. When you know who you are,
you dont take actions to impress others, because you
realise it cant be done. Rather, you take action as an
expression of what you are, and to have an enriched
experience of life.
Expressive actions are attractive actions.
So, who are you?
Who you are is a combination of what you are and what
you do.

You are a man, and from that physical platform, you realise
the potential to achieve whatever you wish.
This is why you CANT NOT be attractive.



Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008
Welcome back.
SUMANOVA has begun. The summer of mixed emotions
is dead and buried, and RSD is about to pop a can of
spinach before growing beyond recognition.
Ill be in the thick of things. Ryan (www.ryanforreal.com)
will play an integral part along with the stars of Tyler, Jeffy,
Tim, Papa(!), Ozzie and Nathan.
In recent times you have seen longer posts from me. These
are my first tentative efforts to expand on the established
knowledge in the community. Many more works of similar
length and profundity are on the brink of being published.
RSD: On the front line of the ongoing war against social
I have a thirty hour flight back to Australia that Im about
to board, but I want to leave you with something to chew
I found out about this from a jaded American backpacker
on a hiatus from his homeland. I found it to be just as
profound as The Blueprint.
It centers around social conditioning, the battle of self
esteem and ego, and the power of now.
Be warned: its very controversial.

I havent formed a definitive opinion about this yet, as I

dont think I have any basis of empirical evidence to
support one stance or another. Im well aware of
sensationalist journalism and presentation but, this will
keep you thinking for days on end.
Grab some popcorn and get comfortable.




Leverage Transformations: Part One Of Six.

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008
On the edge of my antique leather chair I waited anxiously
for the expert opinion that could be my last chance of life. I
waited for what I hoped would ignite the healing of the
innumerable holes in my soul.
Ruminating, the psychologist mulled over the contents of
my heart. It was clear he had made his conclusion, now he
was just considering how he was going to best deliver the
All senses attentive, using the last of my optimism I hoped
that the news would be good, but expected it to be bad. I
hoped that there was a life to hope for.
He spoke.
It would seem that way, wouldnt it.
And then, I passed away.
Why bother getting out of bed? Would make it to bed
tonight? The urge to hurt myself confused me.
A simple rage rose inside of me. Everything I went though
was for nothing. There was NO answer. If the psychologist
didnt know then it was for sure there was no hope. I had
quit university, quit football, left home and dedicated my
life to something unachievable.


My visceral pulse had stopped. Murdered because of my

own pure intentions.
I just wanted to have a fucking girlfriend.
There is no point in this life, no good came of anything I
Fuck it all.
Eight years earlier I was 13 years old. All I wanted in life
was to have a girlfriend to look after and do sweet things
for. She would be of my choosing. I didnt want anything
in return, I just wanted someone to look after, someone to
make happy.
Childhood was a dark place for me. I had a well off family,
lived in a good neighbourhood, people that loved me and I
was smart for my age. But I had, I thought, no friends.
Unknowingly it was this attitude that bought rise to my
social solitude. It was my social solitude that had me in
tears far more than any healthy person would endure while
growing up.
By the age of thirteen the patterns were set. I embraced the
identity of outsider and the spiral of self sabotage spun out
of control. By the time I was thirteen a girlfriend, I thought,
would fulfil the fractured being that I was.
I met the girl because a nine year old on the bus gave me
his older sisters email. I added her to online messenger
where she invited me to sneak over to her house to meet her


friends. Ten twelve year old girls who were having a

slumber party.
Fronting confidence and indifference I met with the young
private school girls. They were taken by me as they didnt
go to school with boys. I was a star for the two hour
flirtation I stayed for.
With one girl I made an instant connection. She wasnt that
special looking. But to me she was perfect. I had never
been more convinced of anything in my life. She knew me
and I knew her in a way that we didnt know each other.
Both of us were nervous and exited to get to know each
other. For the first time in my life I felt totally empowered
and experienced my maiden foray into the emotion of love.
In contrast to the self inflicted hate I had experienced all
my life I was immediately unhealthily addicted.
She wrote me love letters and I wrote them back. We spoke
on the phone for hours on end. I memorised her phone
number, I bought her an expensive opal necklace for her
thirteenth birthday.
We went on a date to see Moulin Rouge. I put my arm
around her but I was too scared to do anymore.
She later said she was uncomfortable. I thought it was ok.
But soon after the event she vaguely implied that she didnt
want to go on dates again. I didnt understand. But by her
making herself more scarce it only drove me to chase her
company and affection more desperately. All I understood
was that hard work would yield desirable results.

Meanwhile this was my first year at a new school. It was an

all boys school. I skipped a grade so I struggled in class and
was continually verbally tormented because of where I had
moved from. I had no friends, and for someone to consider
being my friend would tarnish their reputation in the school.
I was physically tormented and injured daily. I remember
going into batting practice in the cricket nets where my
teammates would line up to pitch cricket balls at me. They
were successful too. I would suffer cricket balls to the head,
torso, groin, where ever. It wasnt practise, it was brutality
and humour extracted from my body.
This girl who had shown me a chance represented a
glimmer of hope in a desperate and turbulent period of my
One year passed, then two. Occasionally the girl would see
me. Then she wouldnt return my calls. Then we would go
on a date, then I would hear through her friends that she
hated me. All the while the cogs in my head ground
together with increasing abrasion trying to figure out what
it was going to take for this one hope of love and happiness
to materialise. The harder I thought and schemed the deeper
into the bottomless pit of misery I tumbled.
I learnt poetry to woo her. I bought her gifts. I sent
meaningful flowers to her house. Sometimes she would see
me in person. Other times she would shun me. When other
guys in my grade were out partying on weekend nights I
had nothing to do. It left me plenty of time to sit around and


think about how I was going to get this girl, make her
happy and complete myself.
More years passed. My internal torment spanned almost
half an adolescent decade. Things worsened. I would drunk
dial when I was drinking alone. I spent time with and later
fucked her friend to get to her. She would stay in contact
with me out of sympathy. Close enough to dangle the carrot
within perceivable reach, but far enough that every time I
gestured towards it, the deeper the trench would grow
between her and I.
At the time of my senior formal, though by this stage I had
began to form some friends, I had only one choice as to
who I wanted to take with me on my night of nights. The
Australian version to the Prom.
There was even a massive after party for couples to go to
afterwards. I wasnt invited.
I extended the invitation to her. To which she neither said
yes or no. After all that she and I had been through we had
grown close in a way. We had a sense of rapport with each
other that wed formed with no one else. She wanted to get
closer, but my insane behaviour would continue to drive
her away.
While others in my grade were forming tables to the school
formal and organising their partners limousines I had
neither a table of people to sit with nor did I have a date to
get a limo for. With only a few weeks to my formal the
other girls I knew had already been invited. Now I was

looking at going to my formal alone. And maybe sitting

alone. For weeks leading up to the event I had my own
social ineptitude shove mercilessly in my face.
By the week before the formal I was in a state of mind
where I expected to go alone. As fate would have it the
girls friend was going with a guy from my school. On that
variable she agreed to go with me. I was over the moon. I
even secured an invitation to the after party so I could go
there with her and spend time getting closer to her. Maybe,
finally, something might happen between us after a magical
night together.
She came. I hired and expensive limousine and an amazing
diner suit. My heart beat furiously the whole night and I
vomited from nervous expectations. We had dinner and we
danced. We had fun with her friend and boyfriend. Then
unexpectedly, half way through the night she simply left.
Her dad came to collect her.
Alone and left with two massively expensive bribe value
tickets to the after party I decided to go anyway. There I
drank alone and watched all the other couples lovingly
making out and snuggling together in the freezing cold
winter weather.
Without anyone to talk to I thought to myself there must be
some reason why couples are together and Im not.
Something identifiable and executable. If I didnt figure it
out what was the purpose of living? While sitting
unaccompanied by any girls or friends someone threw a


bale of hay at me and knocked me into the dirt. Hive fives

all round.
I drank myself until I passed out in the same dirt later. I
woke there in the morning when everyone was gone. You
would think that someone would have tended to me? Nope.
After I graduated school the dredging efforts for the girl
continued. More to salvage something from my desperate
efforts than it was because I harboured affection for the girl
anymore. I knew nothing else. I made friends with several
of her best friends to try and get inside the workings of her
head. I made friends with her parents. I wrote her long
psychological letters. I even dated and fucked her best
friend to see if it might spark the girls emotional interest in
Although she and I were not close personally we were
always just one degree of separation from each other. A
mediated relationship conducted by the people close to her.
It turned out that she had started seeing some guy seriously
for the first time in her life.
One of the girls friends was short a partner to her formal.
The girl though it would be a good idea to set her up with
me. The train of logic was that both her friend and I
suffered social scarcity and by setting us up she would
solve two problems with one wave of her logistical wand.
A few weeks before the formal was invited to hang at a
small gathering with the prospective partner, the girl, the
guy she was seeing and some others. Delighted and exited

at an opportunity to see the girl in person I went. When I

got there the gathering was pretty much a non event.
There was my prospective partner and a few others but my
girl and her boyfriend were nowhere to be seen. Inside one
of the rooms the Coldplay album A Rush of Blood to the
Head was blaring giving a eerie emotional veil to an
awkward situation. It was odd that such a melancholic CD
could cause a physical throbbing to the structure of the
When I asked the host of the non-event where my girl and
the object of her affections were she looked at me as if I
was stupid for not knowing.
Theyre in my room, she planned to have sex with her
boyfriend for the first time.
The structural rocking of the house was explained.
Why am I being exposed to this?
Surely she would have been aware of the effect this would
have on someone who was clearly emotionally dependant
on the situation. And emotionally unstable. I was literally
sick. Again.
This was the lethal injection.
If I hadnt lost faith in myself and life before this point
certainly now my corpse had been plunged into set and
sinking concrete. Life continued to get darker and the point
of it became less and less worthwhile.

A few weeks later I was out. I had lost the people I had
gone out with and found myself alone and drunk to the
point of leglessness. I decided to banish myself form the
bar and get a taxi home.
The driver had a turban. On the drive home I addressed him
racially in my state of absent mindedness. He kicked the
shit out of me in the passenger seat then opened the door
and kicked me to the curb.
Left to walk I barely remember getting home. The next day
I found I had texted and rang abusing the girl, her parents
and her friends. What I communicated to those involved
was that the girl was a whore and I told her parents that she
was sexually diseased. Told her friends they were fuckwits
and that I manipulated and fucked them to get to the girl.
Needless to say I regretted it. But it was the final stake in
the heart that was any chance I would ever have to talk to
her again. Years later, I would set up two of the girls
friends with two of the guys I played football with.
At that time the girls proceeded to tell my male colleagues
all about what happened in my hideous past. They used this
gossip as ammunition to rubbish my name in an attempt to
drive me out of my own social circle which was my
football team. By joining a football team the people you
play with have to be your friends.
In light of my drunk dialling the girl left my radar. I was
heartbroken in the same way you would be if a loved
family member died unexpectedly. Though she was never

with me, or even close to that, she was the plug in my

bleeding soul.
Without that purpose in my life, the purpose of my life, life,
I figured, was purposeless.
At that point in time I worked at a fruit store to pay off
debts owed to my parents.
While working there I noticed a girl working the checkout
who looked similar to and had the same mannerisms as the
girl who had driven me to insanity over the past six years.
Over the next few weeks I noticed her more and more, I
would always walk past where she was working check in
where she was taking her break. I rolled up my sleeves so
she could see my muscles.
Over a month I watched her. While I stacked shelves in the
fruit store my imagination went into overdrive. My sole
hadnt stopped bleeding black blood since the culmination
of events with the girl that preoccupied my youth. I
couldnt resist my emotions that were fast seducing my
brain with the idea that this new girl could be the answer to
all of my problems.
What could I do? The more I thought about proposing the
girl the more I felt nauseous about the very good chance
she would rid me of any hope of self worth in the future by
declining my advances. At least propositioning the girl
would let me know if life was worth living or not. The
investment of emotions that I was about to commit to the


first contact with this girl would dictate my emotional

I just wanted a girlfriend.
In my previous attempts to secure a girlfriend I had learnt
poetry and over the last few years sent over a dozen
bouquets of flowers. The only fitting first contact was
going to be something noteworthy and indeclinable. I was
never stupid. I had learnt more from the emotional
experiences I had when I was young then most people do in
their entire life. With these lessons in mind I sent eighteen
long stemmed red roses and a poem to our fruit store.
It was a work of art. It was every girls dream, more
importantly I knew the way I was going to treat her was
going to make her the happiest girl in the world. The roses
were delivered and waited on the office table for her to
collect when she arrived at work. The whole workplace was
abuzz. No one knew it was me who had sent them.
When she arrived at work my heart beat so fast that it
starved my mind of air. Feeling giddy and sick in the
stomach I waited for her to read what I had sent her. I knew
that as soon as she did she would know it was from me.
As if it were in slow motion the girl approached me
amongst the fruit shelves. Smiling and blushing intensely
she nervously spoke to me as if she herself was scared of
being rejected.
Would I be wrong in thanking you Alexander for the
pretty flowers?

I indicated that she would not be.

With a school girl excitement she rushed forward and
hugged me. She then returned to her counter to see to
customers. For the rest of the day we played chicken with
our eyes. My chest ached and my hopes soared as my brain
spun out of clinical control. I was sick in the head. I
thought about snuggling up with her, about picking her up
from university and making her dessert.
I planned to speak to her when her shift finished, she
finished before me. But I never got the chance.
When she finished work a guy, younger than me but bigger,
approached her in the car park. With eighteen roses and
two-month pay check vase weighing her arms down she
awkwardly but deliberately kissed the guy.
He kissed her back and grabbed her hard.
That day, my level of faith in the world broke beyond
repair. I used to question what sort of identity I had. Now,
in light of this final and fatal eternal feedback, external
references had cast me as a loser. At least now I knew who
I was. This instance in my life inspired the actions that
would structure the next few years of my life.
Now that I knew what I was I was going to be a loser to the
fullest. If I was going to continue to collide with the sad
reality that was my life then I was going to embrace it with
fury. Hope had turned to self destruction. Sinister internal
forces drove me to want to destroy myself and enjoy it.


I enjoyed it. I knew nothing else. By this stage in life I had

been through enough and was smart enough to
systematically and calculatingly destroy myself. I knew
how to find the most brutal emotional circumstances and
endure the arousing disembowelling that was my continued
self demise.
Included in my poetic literature for the girl was my phone
number. I soon got a text from the girl. She wanted to thank
me in person and thought I might be a nice friend. She
arranged to meet me. Surprised at this, I agreed, thinking
meeting her in person would be an opportunity to shove me
face right back into my glaring failure.
But when we met up something unforeseen happened.
Almost from the instant we began to talk and hang out in
person, we literally, genuinely and affectionately fell in
Even though I was self hating, a failure by record and
someone who identified with lack I was never naive. I had
always been academically intelligent and due to the past
experiences with the former girl I was very socially
intuitive and a good emotional mind reader. After all that I
had been through with girls and socially, after spending so
much time watching and analysing I could see things that
no one else could.
When we were around each other we gave mutual affection
and sense of self that we had never known. She had a dark
past and was in a very similar headspace to me. We

instantly identified with each other. To my terror, we

completed each other. We were reciprocal plugs in each
others individually weeping souls.
One hang out turned into five hang outs. We had personal
jokes that we both laughed at before we even formed them.
We went on driving adventures when she should have been
at uni. We ate at fancy restaurants even though we couldnt
afford it. Soon we found ourselves spending five or six
hours a day in personal or telephonic contact.
She had an ex boyfriend who would continually call to
harass her and a boyfriend who she would constantly bitch
and complain about. But she told him she loved him.
While she and I were falling in love I monopolised her time.
Her boyfriend would bombard her with calls to which she
responded by rejecting them. We grew closer and closer,
we began to manage each others time. All the while she
had a boyfriend who was under the impression she loved
him. At the same time she had an ex whom she would still
With a lot of courage and the possibility of positivity and
optimism creeping back into my psyche I confronted her
about her feelings for me. For both of us it was clear how
we felt. How sickly we were growing dependant on each
other. The feelings, we thought, were love. Really it was a
mutual agorophobic fear of being left alone.
Without speaking the words of affection we knew where
we stood. It was not so much that we were in love but more

that we couldnt live with ourselves without each other. She

said that she wanted to be with me more than her boyfriend
but that she would never cheat on her boyfriend. She just
had to speak to him before anything would happen between
Patiently I waited for her to take action. As I waited and my
expectations grew my heart and self worth flirted
dangerously with collapse.
We would still hang out, each time we did I asked her if she
had yet spoken to her boyfriend. For more than ten
occasions we would hang out affectionately not yet acting
on our neediness out of respect for her boyfriend.
One night the strain cumulated to action. We hung out the
same way we did every previous day for the last four
months. That night she had flaked her boyfriend to spend
time with me. I didnt have anyone to flake, but I had quit
university and football to spend time with her.
Sitting cold and huddled together by the sparkling night
river we talked about how we felt about each other. In a
state of internal disease that had become uncomfortably
familiar she and I moved closer together. With closeness
and locked eye contact we spoke softly and stumbled our
words. Facing the most heart wrenching rejection of my life,
an acting in the face of all my fears I decided I had to kiss
In a moment when time stood still and the universe around
us ceased to exist, our lips met.

I had never kissed a girl I loved with all my being before, I

never have since. I have never at any other point in my life
kissed someone whom represented my only chance for
happiness in life. In my life this was the moment that held
the most emotional magnitude I had ever experienced.
My head spun and the memories of the rest of the night
faded to black. We kissed more. She vowed she would
break up with her boyfriend so we could be together.
After dropping her home all my self hate and world
loathing totally inverted. I drove around for hours singing
and listening to music. Life was going to be ok after all.
Tomorrow she would be single and we could be together.
When we hung out the next day she hadnt spoken to the
boyfriend. Nor did she over the course of the next ten times
we hung out. We would kiss more and more and she would
hate herself just as much. I began to feel more and more
betrayed. The love that I had hoped for and psychologically
needed was slipping beyond my grip.
At this point in my mind there was only one reason that
prevented us from being together. I had to do something
about this boyfriend. Since I had started seeing the girl he
and his friends would call me up and threaten to hurt me.
He hung with some pretty serious dudes. These threats
added tension and fear to an already fragile situation with
the girl.
The boyfriend would call her all the time distracting from
my quest of her being with me. I took action. After being

repeatedly threatened over the phone I gave the gang of

dudes my address and challenged them to come and see me.
Me and my roommates knew where he hung out on
We went to take care of him.
I forget who spoke first or what happened but it ended up
with him and I facing off on the street about to come to
blows. Both of us were drunk and ready to kill each other.
He taunted me and by telling me he was fucking the girl I
loved. I was ready to throw down out of pure emotional
fury before my roommate beat me to it. The guy was
manhandled and frankly I think the insanity of my friend
scared the shit out of him. I didnt hear from him again
after that.
One afternoon, a Tuesday, we hung out just the way we
usually did. Things had gotten progressively more intimate
recently. That tuesday would play a pivotal part my
emotional demise.
After fooling around in my room, listening to some music,
and tickling each other I bought up the topic of sex. We
were in a weird mood with no one else home at my parents
house during the day. We spoke about our feelings and
neglected the fact she was still with her boyfriend because
she didnt have the confidence to talk to him and
discontinue sleeping with him.
Under the covers she took off her pants, I did the same, and
we had sex.

To be with someone for the first time and for it to be

simultaneously such a non event was an ghostly and vacant
feeling. On the one hand I though in my mind it should be a
good thing, but it made me feel sick to think it was done for
the wrong reasons with a girl who had a boyfriend.
After that event our relationship became jaded. I dropped
her off that day with no kiss. She had planned to go away
that weekend with girlfriends and said that now she really
needed to talk to her boyfriend.
We didnt talk all weekend which scared and heightened
my insecurity. When she got back she, now psychologically
and emotionally my other half, had written me a letter.
In short she said she liked hanging out with me, but it had
all become too much with her having a boyfriend and her
ex calling and seeing her all the time. She wrote that she
needed some x time to be on her own. She wrote to me
saying that her decision not seeing me anymore either.
That night, and for the next four weeks I stayed in my
house listening to Coldplay and crying in front of my
I made attempts to hang out with her, but she declined.
After a while I decided that I would respect her and wait.
After waiting for weeks I called her crying regularly,
begging her to be with me. I wanted her, no, I needed her to
be my girlfriend. After a while she said she wouldnt be my
girlfriend. She said she just didnt feel that way about me.


We would still hang out daily but now she wouldnt let me
kiss her.
Every day I would spend time with the love of my life who
was inches in front of me. We agreed to be friends and not
be intimate. This hurt for me worse than being completely
apart and me feeling sorry for myself listening to Coldplay.
While we were friends we slept together. I could fuck her,
but I couldnt love her. This was the final blow to the
destruction to what hope I had left.
I hated myself, I hated the world, now I hated her.
I stopped calling her. I began to drink avidly. I would drink
on my own and pass out early in the afternoon. She would
call concerned and worried about me. It didnt matter
anymore, all that I cared about was revelling in my own
self demise. I wondered if I could fall all the way to bottom
of the well?
I wondered what it would take to get myself there and what
I would find. There was certainly nothing left for me
anywhere else.
Out one night getting drunk and provoking police officers
we took refuge in a bar. In there, on a drunken adrenaline
high we spoke to some girls. At this point I didnt give a
fuck about the world, all I cared about was my own path to
self demise and pleasing myself. What was an initially
vicious reaction from the girls turned into a situation where
I was isolated with a gorgeous brunette girl who was
touching all over me.

Realising this I became nervous and drank more. When she

asked for my number I gave it to her, fuck the other girl
who was fucking with my feelings. I kissed this girl, she
asked if she could see me that week. That Monday night I
picked her up from her house.
She told me her address. Freakishly her street was the same
name as my other-half girls last name. More so, when I
asked this girl what is her favourite CD she said groove
armada. My other-half girl currently had that CD of mine. I
asked her second choice and she said Jack Johnson. I
currently had on loan Jack Johnson from my other-half girl.
While on the date I was enraged. This girl was all around
better than my other-half girl. Hotter, smarter, cooler and
taller. This girl was even really into me. But all the same, I
didnt feel a thing for her. All I could think about was my
other-half girl and they way she had fucked me up. I hated
her. I was sick of having the shit kicked out of me, I was
done with her. Fuck her. It was time to start seeing
someone else.
I had been talking to a female friend a lot about my
problems with this girl and life in general. This friend was
the central definitive role in turning the situation around.
She was older than me and oracle wise. I had given up on
anything happening with the girl I had become desperately
dependant on , I had given up hope of her ever committing
to me. My female friend revived my hopes by texting her.
My female friend simply texted my girl asking if she loved
me. She responded yes. This was a massive eye opener for

my girl because it was her being honest with herself for the
first time. It had always been me trying to logically
convince her that she liked me. Because things happened
this way, it is true to say that it was never actually me who
made the girl want to be my girlfriend. Its still true that
I simply wasnt capable of it getting a girlfriend.
After speaking to me in person and because of my amazing
female friend my girl made harmony with her feelings.
When she was finally honest with how she felt she was
shocked. In an emotional reaction she sent me this email:
thank you for even opening this.
Firstly: apology for the nature of this [being an email] I
would never do this in any circumstance however I need to
say some things now and I cant any other way, please read
what I have to say as illogical and retarded as it may sound,
I hate what im doing, I hate what I have done. After you left
I realised what the reality of the situation was [I knew at
the time however it hadnt quite hit me] I wish I knew
where we went wrong Alex, I hate what has happened. This
isnt what you want and its not what I want either, so if
neither of us are getting our way then its certain that both
of us will be unhappy.
Alex I am beginning to realise how fucking selfish I am and
I hate it, I dont want to be that person. I have hurt you and
I have possibly ruined whatever we had between us, im not

sure if you remember me saying at one point this arvo that

what happened on Tuesday didnt make things better or
worse or remain equal, they just became different. im not
sure if im right in saying that I dont feel for you as I did
pre-Tuesday because I know that what was there is not
completely deadI fucking hate what this is Alex. im sure
that you hate me more than how I hate this and im sorry to
have contacted you because I am sure that it is the last
thing you want me to do but if you do read this I will have
had my 2 cents worth. Alex I just want to fix this because its
so shit [I know your going through a thousand more things
than me right now so I can only start to imagine how hurt
and frustrated you must be]
Im not another failed thing for you Alex, I dont want to be.
You say that you try and try and do everything right to
attempt to get what you want/need and it doesnt seem to
work, well I wish I had the chance to change that. I have
seriously ruined everything and I hate myself for fucking up
the best thing I have ever known with another person. you
asked me last night if I have ever been closer to another
person as I am to you, the answer is no and I cant get my
head around the fact that we cant work as friends and will
never get to try as something more only because of how i
feel in august. Im not saying that Tuesday didnt change
things and feelings for me but in the whole 5 hours that
have past since we said our last goodbye I know that this
isnt what we wanted [ever]. I got to work and heard about
your purchase and it made me sick, I felt like I was going to
vomit and I then proceeded to cry in front of my friends and
the other girls. Only then [I think] I realised that you and I

are no more. I have lost my best friend.

I dont normally feel ill over other people [probably due to
my self absorption] but I cant believe what I have done to
you, what I have done to us. I have always had my ideal of
the marshmallow world and I know after today that no
matter how much I pray and hope, that world will never
exist and I have to get a grip and live in the one that does.
The only thing I really want to say is thank you for
everything Alexander, thankyou you for the memories,
thankyou for the awesome adventures, thankyou for always
being there for me and for allowing me to mean so much to
you. thank you for caring when no one else would and
understanding when no one else can. I love the way we are
when we are together [pre-bad events that make things
crazy and tearful] . Im sorry that it has come to this.
If it is true, if time does heal things then I want to wait, im
not patient but I know the deepness of the shit that is going
down between us, im not sure what im waiting for though,
im not waiting for you to stop liking me but maybe im
waiting for the day [I know it will never happen so please
dont be thinking that im some kind of stupid girl that is
being optimistic when I have dug the hole that im in] that
we can be simple little companions. i know that that time is
not here and not now as i feel the way i do and you feel the
way you do but who knows. Fuck Alex im so sorry.
Please take care
I will be thinking of you even though I know that by now
you have deleted me from your phone, removed all
reminders of me and gone into alcohol mode.

Please dont hate me and please if you ever think of me,

ever, know that I meant what I said that night after the
movie and they arent dead and buried feelings [I know this
only because I wouldnt risk emailing you this crap if I
didnt want to stress these things to you here and now] they
are just in hibernation and i cant change that but i know
that i dont want to live wiht the fact that i have lost you
forever and ever.
x x x x its funny how an x can symbolise so much
if your up to this bit i want to thank you for even opening
this because i dont deserve you, your time or your like [ i
say like only becuase love sounds retarded]
After that day everything changed. For a week we were
apart, enough time for parallel soul searching.
After exploring a future of sadness alone in the world away
from our other halves we came back together, and for the
first time could openly love each other. She as my girl and
me as her man.
From that day on we were joined at the hip and for the first
time I was happy in a way that I had never even imagined.
What amplified my love for this girl the most was the
contrast in feelings from the dark times I had endured
previously. We ate together, spoke on the phone for hours
every day.
We would go on random driving adventures and have
picnics. We would skip school and work to go to the beach.
We would break into a private high schools to swim and
kiss under the moonlight.

A week after we worked out all our issues I panned a trip

for her and I to Byron Bay. She told her parents that she
was staying with friends so she could stay there with me
which was a big deal and first time for us. Her parents were
extremely strict about her curfews and keeping track of her
whereabouts. For the first time in my life I hired a hotel
room on my own, didnt tell my girl where we were going.
I picked her up and drove her there as a surprise.
I had it all planned out, finally I could express the
magnitude of my love, affection and show generosity in a
way I never had. After seven hard years my lifelong dream
had become a reality, it was the sweetest feeling I had
experienced in my entire life.
I planned to take her out to dinner at the most expensive
restaurant in town. Afterwards for dessert I had something
special planned. Before I picked her up I had packed the
trunk of my 1970s Mercedes with blankets and pillows
and all the supplies necessary to sleep on the beach.
With her eyes closed I lead her to the beach where I set up
a stove to cook hot chocolate and roast marshmallows.
Under the starry clear night sky it was cold, but with each
other and our drinks we were in our own little heaven. We
laid back in each others arms looking at the shooting stars
skipping across the crystal clear Australian night sky. I was
in love. All the years of self hate and crying faded to
While we lay there on the fine beach sand that silent night
my girl whispered to me

Im in love with you.

I wept. And for the first time in my life, they were tears of
For months we went on like this. Sending each other poems
and giving each other gifts. We would often surprise each
other where we worked and we were constantly on the
phone. She got to know my family and my family loved her.
Everything was fitting into the place I had always dreamed
it would.
There was no other happiness like it.
But I was soon to realise being with her was like a drug. No
good can come from an drug you are addicted to that is
limited in supply.
There was one catch to my newfound utopia. Her parents
hated me. It might have something to do with the fact that
could clearly see my unhealthy emotional investment in the
girl, or the fact that she was spending way too much time
with me, or the fact that every week they had a new
bouquet of flowers on their kitchen table.
This materialised in the way their limited and restricted my
girls freedom. Some Saturday nights I would pick her up
at 8.30 only to have to have her home by 9.25. Fucking
bullshit. She didnt even have anything to do the next day.
In addition to these limitations they were neither
welcoming nor warm towards me.


Because I saw her as my other half this frustrated me at

first. Very soon it made me emotional and angry. We
would get into arguments that would invariably have her
crying and angry at me. She would get into fights with her
parents about me that made them angry and frustrated at
her which she would get upset at me for. Stupidly, I
continued to push the issues of her freedom and her
Her parents would imply to her that she would be fatally
bought down because of me as her boyfriend. The situation
quickly descended into an unhealthy state and all the
happiness and love that I had been through so much to
realise to slowly turned to friction.
In a desperate attempt to impress her parents I moved out
of home to get my own place. I thought it would impress
them and inspire them to lift the curfews the imposed on
their daughter. What made matters worse was that now I
lived further away, she hated being at my house because
she hated my roommates and my roommates hated her
being there because she took me away from drunken fun
times with my friends.
Living out of home I was poor. Living with friends was
massively stressful because I had to work every day at four
in the morning. I was always irritated by my roommates
partying. What I hated the most was the fact that she
wouldnt, I thought, even talk to her parents about working
towards lifting the curfews and being able to stay with me.
I would g to work every day going insane doing my head in.


I loved her so much and simply couldnt accept that the

main feature of my life was compromised. She was my
other half, so in my mind, I was compromised. I couldnt
live with it. We argued and cried and fought and screamed
for months. I hated the situation so much that it bought out
all the deeper psychological issues that had infected me
when I was younger, on her.
Something had to change. I was more unhappy being with
someone I loved under compromised circumstances than
simply being alone and sad. I loved this girl but I couldnt
continue to expose our love to this negativity and risk
losing it forever. In my mind there was no doubt that we
were destined to be together, forever. This was the
foundation of my logic when I made my desperate and
extreme plan.
I planned to dump her soon after her birthday. I made up
the reason that I didnt love her anymore. Of course I loved
her but before I could be with her I knew I needed to get
myself into a healthier headspace and get my emotions
under control. How could I have her rely on me
emotionally, when I was aware that I was emotionally
unstable and that I couldnt even rely on myself.
The plan was I would break up with her for a year and
undergo a rite of passage I would work and make friends.
I would read and work out. I knew I needed to grow as a
person to stabilise and become something that others could
emotionally rely on. I would work every single day so I
could save up the deposit for a house. That way, her parents
couldnt not like me, they would have to respect and accept

me if I had a house. And I would get a six pack, because

my girl liked guys with a certain type of abs.
When I first broke up with my girl for both of us it was like
our lives came to a standstill. The day I broke up with her,
in anger of what the situation had come to I repeatedly hit a
tree through tear blinded eyes until the knuckles of my fists
were bloody and raw to the point I could see cartilage. I
was fucking devastated and so was she, why did our
relationship have to come to this course of action. I hated
her parents. For months she tried to get back with me while
I was on my mission for her.
For a time I was strong. I was disciplined about going to
work and going to the gym and not seeing her. But four
months after I had broken up with her for my plan I had a
massive falling out with my roommates to the point where
they hated me and I hated them and I had to leave the house
and leave them with no furniture. When this was going on I
answered my girls calls and I compromised my discipline
and allowed her to see me. We slept together out of my
own lack of willpower and neediness.
I was like a drug addict progressing through rehab getting a
fresh hit. Being back with her really fucked with me. I was
torn between the mission I wanted to achieve of getting the
house and impressing her parents so I could be with her. Or
having her there in my life at a time when I was fragile,
scared, alone and forced to move back home to my parents
because of the falling out with my roommates.


Instead of being decisive one way or another I would see

her and sleep with her, then tell her that I wanted to move
on, feigning congruence with the original reason why I
wanted to break up with her.
After two months of me fucking her around and sleeping
with her but not committing to her she got fucking angry
and emotional and instead of caring about me anymore, she
cut me out of her life.
I didnt realise it at first as I was convinced that we were
meant to be together. It wasnt until she stopped trying to
contact me altogether that the notion occurred to me that I
had messed with her heart so badly that she had moved on
for good.
Unwilling to accept that as truth and now in a position
where my girl wouldnt return my calls I was resigned to
daily the daily grind at the box factory. I worked
dedicatedly to save for a deposit on a house to impress her
parents enough to let her be with me. I made the decision to
stick to my original deadline of re-initiating contact and the
relationship a year after we had originally broken up. That
date being her birthday.
Each day I went to the box factory. All I did there was take
boxes from a pallet and put them onto a conveyor belt.
Previously I was at a prestigious university where I scored
100% on neuroanatomy exams. The other staff at the
factory were from a labour hire company and while all
were uneducated some were disadvantaged. This is where I


had ended up. Dumb labour, heart break and a slim chance
of hope, working in a capacity suited for disabled people.
To endure it I held on the image of my future with my girl.
Now however, the thought of things not working out crept
into my mind. But I delusionary refused to acknowledge
them. With every box I put onto the conveyor belt I would
think, my girl my girl cherish love happiness my
girl- theres still hope future.
That year I put tens of millions of boxes on a conveyor belt,
each time I would repeat these affirmations . The thoughts
of being with her kept me motivated when I had nothing
else to hope for or aspire to. At the gym after work I would
think to myself as I lifted weights, my girl the house
the abs itll all -work, out.
I saved hard. The bank of Queensland approved me a loan
of $550,000 Australian dollars. I had a massive deposit
saved as I had no expenditures like going out to clubs or
travelling. I had a six pack for the first time in my life.
With a month before my girls birthday I was ready to reinitiate contact.
In a revelation of darkness, since the time we had broken
up and through everything she and I went through I still
had the password to her email account. Regrettably, and I
despise myself for being so desperate to have done this, I
would monitor her emails. It seemed that she had recently
been seeing a tourist and was making plans to travel abroad
to see him. Like yet another stake to my heart I couldnt


ignore the possibility that this girl had really moved on. Her
parents were letting her travel to
Scandinavia to stay with this guy but not stay at my house a
three minute drive from her. They really hated me.
Her birthday date approached. Everything that I had
worked towards in her absence I had achieved. I got the
loan and I had the physique. I was sure that time would
have healed the wounds that my desperate and unstable
behaviour had left in her heart.
I spent weeks making a double mix CD for her with our
songs and a booklet with photos and words as to why each
song was relevant. I bought her a massively expensive
Tiffanys bracelet to signify the circle of our love. And,
once she accepted these gifts and agreed to see me again I
had organised two return Business Class tickets (cheaply
through hook ups from friends) for her and I to travel to
Hong Kong and back during which time I imagined would
explain everything that I had done and she would love me
So, in a little package I enclosed the note for loan approval,
the bracelet, the personalised mix CD and of course some
of my poetry. It looked perfect and it was perfect. This time
around, the outcome of this venture really did dictate the
value of my life. I had dedicated years to this girl and this
was all in light of the efforts and trials I went through to be
with her on top of the adolescent heart destroying marathon
I had suffered with the girl before her.


This was it. I had worked so hard for her and done all the
right things. Now it was out of my hands.
On her birthday I had the package, its precious contents and
my acute desperation couriered to her house.
For a day I waited in my living room, lying on the couch,
staring at the ceiling. I listening to more Coldplay and
looked at our old photos. After about 36 hours with no
response an no sleep I decided that going to the gym would
relieve my psychosis.
When I got home I found the package at my doorstep.
Dizzy with nervousness I stumbled as I walked towards it. I
opened it to find it as I sent it. Except for two words written
on the back of my note to her.
Those two words read, no thankyou.
It didnt make any sense. I couldnt comprehend. My brain
couldnt even process. I felt nothing.
I sent it back to her house.
Very soon after her friend bought it back. With it she gave
me a simple message, If you attempt to contact my friend
again there will be legal intervention.
It took me twenty four months of hard drinking, working
out and soul searching to recover from the mortal
repercussions of that message. Everything in life I had
worked towards, for what I thought was a noble and greater
good was smashed to pieces.


It was like a white hot razor cut through my soul to remove

the little hope of happiness that had remained before I sent
my gift.
Apart from some emails of disgust, I have never seen or
heard from her since.
Years later, I drunk dialled her similar to what happened
with the previous girl. Strangely, I hadnt dialled her phone
number in years. But in my blacked out state her phone
number came to me from the depths of my emotional
memory. Even now I couldnt recite it for you the way I
typed it into my phone that drunken night.
I left terrible messages on her home and personal message
banks. Even though it was years after I had heard from her
in any form I still harboured the ridiculous belief that we
would get back together.
After I woke the next day and received the hateful emails
revealing to me what I did and what I said only then did I
realise that the girl who had kissed me and told me that she
loved me would never ever be mine. It was truly over.
After having my gift returned my experience in the world
was numb and lifeless. I though the right thing to do was be
angry, but my emotions had simply become despondent
and non functioning.
Deluded and angry I converted my savings into a cool car,
a cool stereo, moved out of home into a cool place and I
bought cool clothes. I decided I was going to be a player. I
had an image of Darth Vader on my computer desktop.

Even to this day almost half a decade on there is still a

LCD impression of it ghosting my screen as a painful
When I went out to bars to score girls I would simply
drink myself to the floor and vomit in public. I would take
risks that would put my life on the line. I was arrested
several times for being drunk and unruly. I wanted to be a
player, but you can play when you are an empty shell of a
I ended up pissing away all of my money on things I
thought would impress girls and on lavish and rare dates
with sub standard girls. Soon all the hard earned money
was gone.
I had no money, no success with girls. Even my debts were
mounting and from all the partying I was doing I was
getting obese.
I had no choice but to quit chasing girls and quit being
sociable all together. Every social expedition was a painful
reminder of my past. I was broken and I no longer saw the
point in trying to fix myself.
I was truly indifferent. As far as I knew, there was no hope.
Even through all that I went through, even though every
experience I had endured up until that point in my fragile
life pointed towards there being no hope, I couldnt help
but wonder if there was in fact a way to get a girlfriend.
If anyone knew, I figured, it would be a psychologist.


So, at the age of twenty, clinically depressed due to

repeated failure, frustration and heartbreak in life I took
myself to a psychologists office. At least if I was sure
there was no hope I could accept mediocrity, not bother to
try with girlfriends or friends anymore and resign myself to
hiding away from the social world around me that
continually and mercilessly smashed me pieces.
I explained all the events relevant to my life situation.
Everything that happened with both girls and my
monumental failures. I explained the failures I endured
after losing the girl I loved. I wondered if there was hope.
After comprehensively telling the psychologist of all the
events I had endured since I was thirteen I had distilled all
my issues down into one simple question that I needed
answered by what the socially conditioned world naively
but understandably considered to be an expert.
If the answer was a yes, and it was in alignment with
everything I had been through then I would know for sure
that there would be no reason to continue hoping
I questioned the psychologist. It seems like, in life, if I
love a girl that does not equal her loving me back?
On the edge of my antique leather chair I waited anxiously
for the expert opinion that could be my last chance of life. I
waited for what I hoped would ignite the healing process of
the innumerable holes in my soul.
Ruminating, the psychologist mulled over the pouring out
of my heart. It was clear he had made his conclusion, he

was now just considering how he was going to best deliver

the despair.
All senses attentive, using the last of my optimism I hoped
that the news would be good, but expected it not to be. That
there was a life to hope for.
He spoke.
It would seem that way, wouldnt it.
Then and there, I passed away.
Why bother getting out of bed? Would make it to bed
tonight? The urge to hurt myself confused me.
A simple rage rose inside of me. Everything I went though
was for nothing. There was NO answer. If the psychologist
didnt know then I knew for sure there was no hope. I had
quit university, quit football, left home and dedicated my
life to something unachievable.
My visceral pulse had stopped. Murdered because of my
own pure intentions.
I just wanted to have a fucking girlfriend.
There is no point in this life, no good came of anything I
Fuck it all.


The Golden Rule of Natural Game; Immaculate state,

Rites of Passage and the Nimbus.
Tuesday, November 25th, 2008
The golden rule of natural game is: whatever you feel, she
Welcome to the natural game article that is the basis of
everything you do in your socio-emotional life. It is
important to note the golden rule of natural game is at the
root of everything in natural game and not a tactic that you
can deploy or implement.
The golden rule of natural game is deeper than that. Its not
a move or a routine, it a deep core phenomenon that will
govern whether anything you say will work. The golden
rule is the ultimate and defining factor behind whether or
not you get the girl. A = HV + E, If you feel good you are
attractive because you offer good emotions. This come
when you re alignment with your natural self with is
inherently high value.
As a result of hundreds of internal and external emotional
stimuli you have gone through the word experiencing many
different emotional feelings. Most of the time these confuse
and overwhelm you causing you to feel horrible and out of
control. These feelings steadily erode your happiness in
life. This includes eroding your success in the game, your
social life and with women.
When I refer to whatever you feel I mean the emotional
feeling you experience during the interaction combined

with the thoughts that influence your emotional state.

Basically, how you feel and what you think.
Broken down even further, whatever you feel is the
sensation your body and unconscious is exposing your
conscious to and what your reticular activation system (you
conscious attention) is focused on.
Two separate things that will be individually examined, but
both are intricately and unavoidably linked. If you dont
take responsibility for feel your body and conscious mind
can overpower you and control how you feel. Or you can
implement will power and take responsibility for how you
want to feel.
When I refer to she feels in reference to whatever you
feel I mean what emotional state you influence the girl
with and the impression that you consciously make on her.
Simply, how you make her feel and what conclusion she
will form about you.


Some of the variables that govern what you feel are the
following: State, frame, ego, self esteem, your biology,
your current physical status, your expectations of yourself,
your perception of others expectations of you, your
relative comfort zone, your contextual comfort zone and
many others.
All of these things are different perspectives of the same
object that is your state of emotion. A lot of people from
different schools of thought come at this from different
angles. Until you look at all the variables collectively you
will fail to see the bigger picture and examine state
incorrectly. It is imperative to understand that all these
elements are intertwined and to examine one element is to
examine all elements.
For example, your state can dictate your self esteem, while
in a different circumstance your expectations of yourself
can bruise or inflate your ego. I will look at many how you
feel variables individually before building up to a bigger
holistic picture. Once we have that established we can then
begin to understand the influence it has on you and the viral
influence it will have on others around you.
But the focus question is how does this help you get girls?
As mentioned in most of my other articles if you feel good
the girl will feel good. The primary goal in everyones life
is to have a good feeling while simultaneously avoiding
bad feelings. You want to perpetually feel good. If you can
be a perpetual source of good feelings to girls while
simultaneously inspiring a fear of loss you are going to be


extremely naturally attractive. This is pure and nonmanipulative attraction.

You want to get into a headspace where you CANT
HAVE BAD FEELINGS. that way the golden rule of
natural game states that you CANT NOT be attractive.
This is the goal of immaculate inner game. This is not to be
confused with a false and forced good feeling which is as
transparent as glass.If you constantly feel good all the other
skills and mindsets relevant to natural game will fall into
place for you. The golden rule of natural game is that
Achieve a perpetual good feeling and you will become
extremely attractive to more girls than you can even handle.
The golden rule of natural game starts on a biological
level; gender polarity.
Feeling good is essentially a biological and chemical state
governed by your bodys hormones. This is a natural
process which plays a significant role in natural game. With
good hormones you feel good and with bad hormones you
feel bad.
A good feeling is like walking through the world with ease
without a care in the world and even a natural euphoria. A
bad feeling is the sick feeling you get in your chest and
abdomen when you lose state, get dumped or feel down.
The feelings you experience is a result of the processes of
your viscera.


The viscera is the name given to your internal organs that

are part of the innervated network that is your peripheral
nervous system. When you get the feeling of heartbreak
you get an acute heart sinking feeling while on the other
hand when you feel euphoric you experience an Im
flying feeling. While many factors play a part in defining
your state, its your brain that dictates the majority of the
feelings you experience in your viscera controlled by nerve
You brain regulates the hormones that are released in your
body triggering the feelings that you have. The hormones
that are released are a result of your thought process. Your
thoughts process is a product of your mindset. Your
mindset is your understanding or perception of the world.
For most people their mindset is socially conditioned.
When you are unnaturally socially conditioned your
mindset will give you a negative self perception and
negative world views. This perception will generate
massive amounts of negative thought processes. These
thought processes will catalyse hormones that give you
negative feelings in your viscera. You feel bad about
yourself and you feel unhappy. If you feel unhappy the girl
will feel unhappy and she will not be attracted to you.
But if you have a natural, non socially conditioned mindset
you will have positive feelings. Positive feelings are your
default natural state. Positivity, self esteem, optimism, self
assurance and mojo are all your natural mindset before
they are confiscated from you by social conditioning.


A positive mindset is the origin of thoughts that catalyse

hormone release that cause you to feel good all the time.
Think of a little kid as an example as he runs around doing
whatever he wants feeling happy.
Its not until young children are disciplined to not be happy
by social conditioning that their internal compass is forced
out of alignment with their default natural happy self and
pushed into the direction of social conditioning.
If your thoughts, which also give rise to your actions, are in
alignment with your natural default male mindset you will
always feel good. When this is the case the golden rule
predicts that you will make women around you feel good.
If you always feel good then you will make any girl you
ever meet feel good. You are perpetually attractive and
inescapably (CANT NOT BE) a sexworthy man.
Dont forget that the things that give you a good feeling are
acutely different from what gives women a good feeling.
Im talking purely in terms of emotional and innate good
feelings. On a more complex level people can feel good
temporarily when they think they are supposed to.
When you get the deeper happy feeling you feel fulfilled.
Sometimes you see people who dont seem happy, but they
are satisfied with their situation in life. It is a deep
happiness. When you are fulfilled it is a much more
powerful feeling than happiness.
For a male example of happiness and fulfilment take the
instance of a farmer. The farmer works hard for little to no

wealth. He is the manager and king of his ranch, hes

always growing and planning the kingdom that is his
property and assets. The buck stops with him and hes the
bearer of massive responsibility. Hes decisive, light
hearted and self assured through experience.
The farmer is simple but hes fulfilled. This is a much
deeper good feeling than the socially conditioned good
feelings of wealth, friends, status, fame or fortune that
were erroneously lead to believe will fulfil us. A man is
fulfilled when he has responsibility and a woman to look
In the case of women good feelings and fulfilment mean
something completely different. Take for example the
farmers wife. Shes not wealthy nor does she have the
money for cosmetics treatments over pedicures and
superficial gossip. She works in a support capacity at a far
lesser output than the men around her. She diffuses conflict
when there are confrontations.
A woman is only really satisfied when those around her are
happy, well fed, clean and at peace. She is generous and
proud to be so. She is caring and catering and looks to help
others achieve success. This is female nature and the good
feelings that come from that give a far deeper happiness
and fulfilment than the superficially of status, money,
skinniness and MySpace profiles that girls are lead to
believe will give them fulfilment. A women will feel
fulfilled when she is taken responsibility of, chosen by and
taken care of by a worthy man.


In short, a man feels good when he is on his path, positivedominant (woo + intent) and living in the moment.
Contrastingly a woman feels good when she is whisked up
in the adventure, along for the ride and living the emotional
rollercoaster that is being involved with an involve-worthy
An involve-worthy man is one who is fulfilled and who
lives in congruence with his natural masculine self. Men
are motivated by the good feelings that come from
adventure, building, dividing and conquering whereas
women are motivated by harmony, love, family and
Evolutionarily men and women go together perfectly.
Women are designed to bring people together. The females
that tamed the wild men the best would survive. The men
that divided, conquered, killed and adventured more than
all the others would have passed on their genes. Its the
eternal yin and yang that continues to drive natural
selection to select quality genes.
[Though this sounds sexist against either men or women is
not the intention, many things will make either men or
women happy, but at the deepest level of fulfilment there
are specific gender roles that are naturally preset. In the
context of natural game I refer to the deeper evolutionarily
preset emotional states. Of course in this day and age
cognitive will power, drugs and psychological disorders
can nullify a persons naturally preset desires. While all
men and women consciously choose to some extent what


they do and dont like, deep down all will recognise the
truth in what I am saying.]
If you are in alignment with your natural masculine
mindsets you will automatically behave in ways that make
you feel good. Naturally, this also makes women feel good.
Naturally this is very attractive.
The way a women is attracted to you and the way she gets
good feelings from you can be described metaphorically by
the way you are drawn to and entertained by a good movie.
Attraction is a combination of high value plus a full range
of emotions. If you notice a movie that you perceive
presents itself well you become exited and aroused and are
inspired to see it. The movie is high value because it looks
quality and enticing the from the outset. These factors all
stimulate good feelings.
If the plot of the movie is good and there is a range of
emotions experienced by the audience as a by product of a
well made movie (expression) it will be a very entertaining
and arousing experience. It will even make you feel
comfortable as it takes responsibility for you as you relax
and watch it.
While watching a movie, you are fully aroused and
experience a full emotional work out. This is the same
process a woman goes through when she is becoming
attracted to a man. When a woman sees a man she thinks
she might like she becomes exited. Then, as she speaks
with him and he doesnt try to impress her, he just


expresses himself, she gets a good emotional work out. She

feels very good.
When a man takes pride in himself, has self assurance and
is unstifled in doing whatever he wants to do he will
perpetually feel good. He will give the women around him
a massive range of emotions. Hes doing what men do
while girls involved become aroused by it. This is the
natural way each gender feels good.
[This is a skill called being involvement worthy. Once
mastered you cannot be blown out of set. An article on this
skill set is under construction and will be published on this
blog soon.]
The golden rule operates on a deeper biological level;
In your mammalian brain there is an ancient subconscious
evolutionary part of your brain that automatically decodes
non verbal signals. Non verbal communication was the
only means of communication for millions of years. This
complex grey matter device allows you to communicate
non-verbally with other mammals almost telepathically.


A lot of people use their cognitive brains to over think and

outsmart their otherwise accurate instinctive social
intuition. Usually the cognitive brain causes people to
misinterpret communication incorrectly by overanalysing it.
This cognitive overanalyses causes social confusion and
sends signals to the girls around you that you lack social
calibration and social confidence. This gives rise to bad
feelings for you and hence, the girl.
Think about the last time you had a conversation with your
pet dog or cat. Even though that mammal has never spoken
a word to you, you as a mammal yourself you can
instinctively tell how it feels very clearly. For example you
know when a dog is tired, scared exited or timid. This goes
the same for people when you stop trying to overanalyse
what they are saying with words and tune into the accurate
natural and ancient non-verbal communication channels.


When you travel to places where people dont speak your

language you become more attractive and your game
instantly goes to the next level. When interacting with
people from other languages you focus more on pure
natural emotional communication that is universal language
amongst all humans.
With this simple non-cognitive and illogical
communication good feelings are quickly aroused like the
twists and turns in a good and unpredictable movie. In this
natural communication the natural good feelings arent
stifled by social conditioning which exists only when two
people are speaking the language in which they were taught
to be socially conditioned. That is why people love
travelling and talking to exotic members of the opposite sex.
The brain uses ancient and complex structures called mirror
neurones to get a reading of how the other person is feeling
in order to quickly determine whether the person might
pose a threat or be a source of value.
According to world renowned neuropsychiatrist Louanne
Brizendine M.D, author of The Female Brain, women
unconsciously use mirror neurones to literally internalise
your physical state to form a sense and perception about
you. This obviously was very important in an
evolutionarily sense because for millions of years mammals
didnt have the convenience of spoken words and language
to ask about danger.
Louanne Brizendine M.D. says that women have a near
telepathic ability to sense what you are thinking and

feeling. This ability evolved due to gender polarity, men

being able to manipulate their surrounds with physical
force while women had a limited ability to do so. If a
women could sense whether she was in some kind of
danger from the people around her she would have a
massive evolutionary advantage and pass on her genes.
When you approach, a womans automatic processes kick
in and the mirror neurones will cause the girl you are
approaching to unconsciously mirror and internalise your
body language, breathing rate, posture and in some
instances muscle tension. Women literally unconsciously
adopt your approaching body language in order to make an
instantaneous judgement about what sort of guy you are.
A woman will be compelled to feel whatever you are
feeling at the point when you approach her and even
beforehand as you begin to cross the room towards her. If
you are nervous you will make her feel nervous, if you are
confident you will make her feel confident. When you
approach a women you influence her with whatever you are
feeling at that point in time.
When approaching women this automatic psychosomatic
reaction has several repercussions. Firstly the girls can tell
what sort of a guy you are long before you even get near
them, meaning that they are sure to be attracted before you
get to her if you are an attractive guy who is feeling good.
If you are a crappy guy with ego and low self esteem then
that would be communicated long before you get close to
the girl you are approaching. The girl will have formed and

in depth emotional opinion about you before you have even

opened your mouth. If youre a bad dude at your core you
dont even stand a chance. Unless you are a master
manipulator of Oscar wining magnitude.
Once you get to the girl and you begin to talk to her she is
then going to be in a position where she really cannot avoid
adopting your state be it good or bad. As a random stranger
approaching a girl she will have all senses tuned to who
you are and what you are trying to propose to her.

If you are going to approach you need to be aware of this

and take the necessary responsibilities.
Simply, if youre in a bad state youre going to be blown
out very quickly but if youre in a good state not only will
the girl want to talk to you she will want you to stick
around so she can revel in the good feelings you are
bringing her.
When you feel good all the time you will notice that the girl
will start GAMING YOU and pursue you to continue

interacting with you to get more and more good feelings

from you.
State becomes reality becomes state; male and female
sources of state.
Moving away from the deeper scientific level of state
influence the golden rule can be understood in more
conversational terminology familiar to pick up and general
On the level of natural emotions and sociology mans
source of state is different from a womans source of state.
A man has to take responsibility for drawing state from
within whereas women will be influenced from state
surrounding her in her environment. Men are internally
influenced whereas women are externally influenced, that
is to say men are proactive and women are reactive.
In a nightclub men often stand around clasping a beer in
low state. They are both stifled and looking for an external
factor to pump their state that will never come. On the other
hand when a girl is in a night club she is state pumped to
the point of frenzy with things like music, lights, alcohol,
friends, guys drama all influencing and stimulating her
state. Girls go to the club because it is a source of fun and
state, guys traditionally go to the club because there will be
girls there.
Furthermore think of a girls bedroom compared to a guys
bedroom. Girls get their state from their environment so
they tend to keep their rooms stimulating and hygienic.

This means most girls rooms will have posters, pictures,

candles, music, trinkets, perfumes et cetera to simulate
them and keep them feeling good. The reason why girls
like things to be hygienic is because when things are dirty
they will literally internalise a feeling of dirty. This applies
to hygiene, not tidiness or messiness.
Contrastingly think of a your room as a guy. Functional, if
you didnt have anyone to impress or manage impressions
of you wouldnt really care if the room stank, was mouldy
and had dirty clothes lying around. Even if you are in an
unhygienic or undesirable environment it doesnt have
much influence on your state because you state is sourced
Carl Jung, a famous psychologist said that perception is
projection. Perception and projection are one and the same
thing. This is the same as saying that feeling is influence or
that influence is feeling. One and the same thing, but two
different causalities.
What a man feels becomes his influence, what influences a
women becomes her feeling. As you can see this
underlying gender polarity phenomena is at work all the
time. When you have a feeling it becomes influence, it
influences the feelings of the girls around you. Whatever
you feel, she feels. The golden rule of natural game cannot
be escaped.
On a cognitive level this is true as well. Perception is
projection. How you feel and what you think are
intrinsically intertwined. In the same way that men are

naturally different in terms of feelings and influence the

same pattern is evident in terms of perception being reality.
For men perception becomes reality and for women reality
becomes perception.

People are always pinging and getting a sense of self by

being labelled and seeking validation from others. A
persons reality is a result of their constructed self (ego),
which is a product of their sense of self. If they think they
are cool because everyone tells them they are that forms
their reality. In this case reality dictates their perception.
For guys their reality is forced upon them by social
conditioning. So, in most cases reality (social conditioning)
becomes perception (chode way of thinking about
This is true of women. Their sense of self is like a societal
mirror. Society defines their value evolutionarily through
their face value. At a snap decision a women is judged to
have value based on her appearance. This judgement
system is reality impacting on a womans sense of self. For
socially conditioned guys and women, in an evolutionary
sense, people (reality) around them force them to think a
certain way about themself. People in their reality force a
self perception onto themself.

For a man who is not socially conditioned, is natural and

has no ego he can continually work towards whatever he
wants to become. That is to say, he can set a goal of an
image for himself and work towards it. The more he
dedicates his mind to it, the more it self-fulfils and the more
it becomes true.
What he believes of himself (his perception) becomes his
reality when it accepted by the people around him. By this
same token what he projects onto weaker minded betamales and females usually become true. In their reality
external sources define who they are, this includes natural
alpha males dictating who and what beta males and women
are. Alpha males are very influential.
So, naturally men have urges to adventure, divide, concur
and take what they want. This happens because no one
prevents it from happening in their default state. Their
desires become reality.
When alpha males do what they want in interactions with
women and beta males the women and beta males fall into
their FRAME and take what the alpha male projects onto
them as being true. Because of alpha males, reality
becomes perception for women and beta males.
Perception (alpha male) becomes reality (what alpha male
does and what he projects onto others) becomes perception
(women and beta males internalise what is projected onto
them by alpha males).


What this means in field is that if you take responsibility

for who you want to be, and who you want to be is in
alignment with your natural alpha self, people more often
than not will see you how you see yourself. They form a
sense of the world based on what alpha males project into
the world. The way you see yourself, women and beta
males will see you that way as well. Its almost hypnotic.
Whatever alpha males think, females and beta males think.
Emotionally the same casual chain is going on but on a
deeper level. Your sense of self is deeply implicated in the
way you feel on a moment to moment basis. If you are
alpha and living in congruence with what you are as a man
you will feel good. If you are beta you will be living out of
alignment with what you are as a man and feel very bad.
Step to a girl as a beta male and you will feel bad and make
her feel bad. Approach a girl feeling good about living in
alignment with your masculine alpha-male self and you
will make her feel good.
Good feeling becomes reality. You influence the world
with how you feel and it becomes the girls feeling. She
feels good because you as her environment influence her
state. You get the girl.


Whatever you feel, she feels.

You can achieve this really easily, you just need to take
responsibility for your state and content of though. It
requires will power in the same way a diet requires will
power. If you dont have the capacity to exercise will
power you simply dont deserve success with girls.
The all encompassing difference between you being an
alpha male and beta male is your ability take responsibility
for how you want to think about yourself and how much
you are going to let your natural good emotions be
compromised. If you are lazy you will live a sad and lonely
life and you will feel guilty about getting girls with canned
If you take responsibility you will get quality girls, you will
feel you deserve quality girls and you will keep quality
girls in your life.
Welcome to the real world; the Conscious implications
of the golden rule in field.
It is extremely important to understand the conceptual
structures, gender polarity and biological science of natural
game to give you confidence in the underlying automatic
processes behind what you are implementing. But what is
even more important is understanding how this works on a
real world level and how it is going to help you to become
very good with girls.
On a conscious level there is massive amounts of useless
cognitive noise occupying your headspace. This is

commonly known as being inside your head. This is

especially apparent if you are in a headspace where you are
trying to assimilate what you are reading and learning
about social dynamics with what you are actually putting
into practice in field.
These conscious thinking processes are highly detrimental
for your field results. I will go over the things that that will
consciously cause you to feel bad and cause the girl you
interact with feel bad.
Sometimes you wont even be aware of some of the things
proposed but once enlightened you will begin to recognise
how the these conscious things can be detrimental and take
control of them. Once aware of them you can negate them
early and prevent negative thoughts and feelings. Therefore
preventing yourself from transferring negative thoughts and
feelings to the girl.
The most prominent and evil force occupying your
conscious headspace is the old enemy the EGO. Think of
your conscious space as RAM on a computer. When you
are consciously trying to maintain ego by dedicating
headspace to projecting a certain imagine while
simultaneously dedicating headspace to managing the
prevention of making a bad impression your conscious
headspace is going to be massively burdened.
The conscious mind is the human part of the brain that is
strapped on top of the emotional brain. Your natural brain
is an inherently attractive thing that is constantly giving


you impulses to act naturally which would actually be

expressive and attractive behaviour.

The conscious evolved brain interferes with the ancient

natural brain. In the ancient brain there is the blueprint of
how to get girls. The conscious brain second guesses the
unconscious impulsive brain and causes you to act
indecisively which will result in your behaving with a lack
of confidence and being unattractive to girls.
This conflict continually occupies your conscious
headspace acting in the same way a virus would on a
computer. Instead of running smoothly and decisively
which would result in confident attractive behaviour you
are compromised as a result of your own internal conflict.
Internal conflict makes you feel bad. If you feel bad the girl
will feel bad.
This destructive self doubting process is extremely obvious
in the case of ego projection and protection.
In the case of ego projection you are always worried and
looking to be validated in the way you want others to see
you. Instead of relaxing socially and feeling good you are
always concerned, nervous and anxious as to whether or

not people see you the way you want them to see you. This
can give you massive internal conflict, make you feel very
bad and then influence the girls you talk to with a bad
In the case of ego protection you are always concerned,
anxious and nervous as to whether people might try and
label you or interpret you in a way that you dont foresee
that could potentially be a bad thing. So you dedicate you
headspace to taking actions that arent natural but actually
directed towards introverting yourself, treading on
eggshells and being afraid to make a bad impression. Of
course if you are always suffering the internal conflict of
ego protection then you will feel bad and influence the girls
you talk to with a bad feeling.
On another level if you are feeling bad because of ego
protection and ego projection you will be reactive and live
in other peoples frames. When this is happening you dont
give the girl emotions because you are reacting to her and
nor are you higher value than the girl because you are
reacting to her.
Ego can only live in a person when they are in a thinking
headspace. Dont think, lose ego.
You didnt have an ego before you began to think. Plus, if
you approach a girl with an ego she can sense you are
second guessing your natural self. In addition to
influencing the girl with a bad feeling when you second
guess your natural self then you communicate to girls that
your natural self isnt good enough.

Girls automatically think that if you need to impress an ego

onto her you must be second guessing what you are as a
man and she is put into the headspace that you are less of a
naturally attractive man that you should be.
On the dark side of things ego can give rise to a good
feeling and a strong reality. As a guy, if everyone all your
life projects onto you that you are cool or attractive, if you
werent already aware of that you will begin to identify
with it. You will perpetually feel good on a shallow level
because everyone always influences you with good feelings.
But, when you cold-approach you will still be looking for
validation from the girl. In social circle situations a guy
with a big Im cool and attractive ego feels great in that
context. But, if a strong ego guy cold-approaches out of
that context he wont have that good feeling that he gets
from his social circle and his powers of positive influence
will be dashed.
Sometimes though, arrogant egotistical guys have such a
strong reality as continually reinforced by those around him
that he believes it so strongly himself that when he meets a
new girl she can become influenced by his self perception
and see him in the self aggrandised way he sees himself.
This is evident in examples of sports stars, cool kids at
school, thugs and gang members. Also, its rare to find
natural and non egotistical guys in the world so the strong
reality guys often get girls by default.


Even furthermore, because egotistical guys are always in

and out of relationships they seem like big players because
they often burn themselves and their partners in
relationships. This continued playerism and verbal
promotion of their Im a player ego make them seem a lot
more successful with women then they actually are.
Even if a guy gets a good feeling from the strong sense of
self that comes with continual reinforcement of player or
cool ego he is a fish out of water when cold approaching.
What usually happens is that he will approach the girl, seek
validation and look to impress upon her that hes really
If a guy approaches seeking validation he is taking value
and reacting to her, which is unattractive. He does
something special to show her that he is special. When he
tries to impress her by demonstrating how cool he is he
will communicate the he isnt cool just as he is.
When this process happens the good feelings that the
egotistical guy formerly had comes crashing down. Ego is
the Achilles heel of state. What seemed so strong can be
destroyed instantly when exposed to its weakness. In the
case of cold approaching ego weakness is not being
validated by the girl he talks to. His state will plummet, he
will feel terrible and become a repulsive-black-hole
influence to others around him.
In contextual cases ego can be fine as long as the context
exists. Robbie Williams will always be validated by anyone

who is aware of the world music stage. The Prince of

England will always be validated by anyone who
recognises the British Empire.
Take the world music stage away or the British Empire and
Robbie Williams or Prince of England will lose their
contextual value Achilles heel style. If you want to take
advantage of this phenomena become a club promoter, club
DJ or an internationally famous rock star. Your image will
play the game for you.
Tim is brilliant from the cold approach and the coolest guy
I ever met. No ego. Combine this with him being the most
well known club promoter and best DJ for hundreds of
miles around and you have a FUCKING POTENT
combination. People project amazing things onto Tim, but
he doesnt buy into them. He maintains a natural sense of
self that is naturally attractive. Tim is very happy guy and
influences the girls around him with copious amounts of
good feelings.
Basically ego driven conscious headspace will give rise to
the dirty high form of happiness. The dirty high feeling
is always motivated from a place of neediness and lack and
can never be satisfied. Therefore it will never be as good a
feeling as fulfilment. The dirty high is on a hair trigger of
susceptibility to destruction that will not only make you
feel bad, but plunge you into a pit of misery. Ego fails to
give the deeper feeling of fulfilment in the same way that
money or fast cars dont really fulfil a man.


Some famous pick up artists are well documented examples

of the ups and down of ego driven happiness and despair.
This will give rise to massive inconsistency and frustration.
As your results begin to spiral downward because of your
bad feelings and the influence you give to others. This
process usually leads to hate of and exodus of the game.
One of the biggest consciously born good feeling killers in
the game is your fear of being discovered as a guy who is
using the game. Instead of walking around happy and
having fun and influencing the girls you talk to with a good
feeling you walk around feeling embarrassed and ashamed.
If you are using game as a band aid over a bullet wouldnt
and have no intention of self actualising and becoming a
better self through self actualisation you deserve to feel
embarrassed and ashamed. You will influence the girls you
talk to with feeling of self disrespect and low self worth.
They probably wont even respond to you when you
approach them.
Another bad-feeling inducing phenomenon that you will be
conscious of, but have difficulty understanding, is cognitive
dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is anxiety that occurs
when what you do is out of alignment with who you are
and what you believe. For example, anxiety from cognitive
dissonance would occur if you said you hated your country
of allegiance and wish you belonged to the population of
your rival nation.
If you go into set and you say and do things that are out of
alignment with what you are (your inescapable nature) and

what you believe (your nurture) cognitive dissonance will

make you feel flustered and anxious. Negative feelings will
arise that will influence people around you with negative

In field this will happen if you use someone elses lines as a

compensation for a lack of self trust. It can also happen
when talking for the purpose of impression not expression.
The worst feelings of cognitive dissonance anxiety will
arise when you say things deliberately to manipulate and
take value. All these things make you feel bad, will
influence the girl with bad feelings and make you
Conscious manipulation and lines dont work. in terms of
being attractive to girls behaving in alignment with your
natural self does work
Sometimes in set you will have approached in an
unconscious headspace, acting clear headedly in the
moment and operating through the mode of expression.
You feel good and influence others with good feelings. But

in the case of you learning the game often you find your
doing better than expected and all of a sudden think
whats next? This gives rise to a feeling of panic and
uncertainty which will quickly be transferred to the girl.
Be in alignment with the guy you are. Be willing to block
out any logical and conscious sabotaging thoughts and ride
the interaction as long as it will go. It will give you a
feeling of excitement and recklessness as you get further
into unchartered territory. As you get more intimate with
the girl you will get more exited. These feelings are
transferred as well.
If you for some reason you fuck up the interaction you
will get a scar and learn something from the interaction.
Metaphorically, if you live in alignment with your balls you
ride the skateboard all the way to the bottom of the hill,
endure thrills, impress yourself and get the girl. If you fall
off you will get a scar and learn a lesson. Remember,
chicks dig scars.
Lot of guys escape their consciousness in social situations
by drinking. Biologically drinking nullifies your cognitive
brain and allows your emotional brain to express itself
freely. Sober for most guys means impression, drunk for
most guys means expression. But girls recognise that guys
get drunk because they cant access their naturally
attractive self while sober. In most cases drinking will
make a sad guys bad feelings far more evident. Drunk
approaching is a deal breaker.


If you have a few drinks it can be an effective means for an

inexperienced natural gamer to access the naturally
attractive part of their brain. If you dont drink more that
the legal driving limit you will generally find the right
balance. You will feel great and uninhibited and give that
same feeling to the girl. Most people, especially girls, are
socially conditioned to associate alcohol with fun times. On
that level drinking can contribute to influencing girls with
good feelings.
The real world continued; the UNCONCIOUS
implications of the golden rule in field
You will be very aware of your conscious brain and often
very frustrated by it. You are exposed to it loud and clear. It
is the continual noise of your conscious brain that stifles
your unconscious brain. Your unconscious brain holds the
key to natural game. It is in your unconscious automatic
brain that you find your blueprint.
Before I delve into the working of the unconscious brain
and the implications it has on how you feel the most
important fact pertaining to your unconscious brain is that
its default state is to FEEL GOOD.
If you default state is feeling good, feeling good can revert
you back to your default state as well. This is the key to
accessing your natural game.
Times when you feel good is a good indicator that you are
running on your natural autopilot unconscious brain,
meaning you will be in alignment with your natural self.

Good feeling is natural state, your natural state means good

feelings. Find your natural state and you will always feel
good and be perpetually attractive to girls.
Your unconscious natural state is referenced in many
different ways and has many different names.
We are referring to your natural default state when we say
outside your head, in state, self esteem, offering value,
nimbus, core confidence, confidence, alpha male,
alignment with your natural self, and elite congruence. All
these things are signposts for essentially one and the same
thing. All labels point toward your natural default state. In
this happy, confident, alpha, congruent, self-esteem-state
you feel good. Really, really good.
You will influence the girls with a really, really good
Guys with this trait are a rare and valuable entity and very
quickly recognised by girls. Come into alignment with your
natural state and you will find you will be more attractive
than you have ever known. People will begin to treat you
the same way they treat model quality girls.
Compared with the many obstacles and negative influences
imposed by the conscious brain you will discover the
unconscious natural brain is very simple. Simply, you dont
have to achieve a good feeling. You already have it. When
you dont have a good felling it is because the unconscious
brain is overshadowed and polluted be the conscious brain.


To counteract the influences of the conscious brain and

unleash the natural and good feelings that stem from an
unstifled unconscious brain there are a few things that are
important to internalise.
Self esteem is a natural thing and we conversationally
understand self esteem to mean good feelings. To have self
esteem is to be fulfilled. To have low self esteem means
you are not fulfilled.
But it is an anomaly that a you can have poor self esteem
but have a fleeting good feeling. This comes when you get
external ego validation when you can feel good for a
moment but still wont have that deeper feeling. This could
be described as a band aid over a bullet wound.
When you develop an ego it suppresses your pre-existing
self esteem. This happens because you have been forced to
believe you are something that you are not. When you
believe that you are something that you are not you
continually look for validation of what you think you are
and your good feeling are fickle and sporadic. This will
directly correlate with your results with women.
With ego based happiness sometimes you will get a woman
onto a few dates or maybe even sleep with her but you will
struggle to keep her as she will soon see your weak low self
esteem core hiding behind your false PUA or chode ego.
When you move away from an ego based reality and you
come into alignment with what you are you have total
congruence. Once the ego is shed you are left with pure self

esteem. When you have pure self esteem you are in

congruence with your natural self you feel good and
influence the girls around you with good feelings.
In this circumstance of elite congruence what you do is
only an expression of what you are. When what you do is
in total alignment with what you are then you have the rare
and noble trait of INTEGRITY.
Instead of using tactics and trickery to convince women
you are something that you are not you can simply go in
and be yourself knowing that is all that you need. (As you
really do bring your full and unstifled natural self). This is
what PUA mean when they refer to you being your best
self. Instead of having to learn a law degree worth of pick
up skills and tactics you can go into field and navigate
situations simple-mindedly as they present themselves.
Going into field with a head full of confusing trickery and
manipulation will make you feel confused, weighed down
and embarrassed. If you feel weighted down, confused and
embarrassed when you approach girls you will influence
them with a blatantly negative-value taking feeling.
When you study Real Social Dynamics you are undergoing
a process called self actualisation. In conversational
language that translates to mean that you are learning about
what you really are and you are learning and changing to
fulfil you true potential. When you self actualise with Real
Social Dynamics you are learning things and exposing
yourself to experiences that will help you realise your true
self. Your natural masculine self.

As opposed to walking into a bar with sneaky tricks up

your sleeve belonging to a secret sociality you walk into the
bar knowing that you are more self actualised than anyone
in the room, men and women included. With this comes an
inherent sense of confidence and good feelings.
When you study self actualisation you engage social
situations and social interaction with people feeling
amazing as you know you have taken responsibility for
being the best self you can be. If you are currently going
out and feeling any lesser than other people that you are
interacting with snap out of it. Realise that if you are
reading this article you have the logical right to feel
significantly more proud of yourself socially than other
who have not read this article.
Once you make personal harmony with the fact that self
work and responsibility entitles you to feel on top of the
world you will feel extremely empowered. Furthermore,
self actualisation is in congruence with what you are as a
man because men are always moving forward, exploring
and growing.
Approaching girls knowing that you have taken massive
responsibility for yourself and are continuing to become the
best self you can be will give you feeling of extreme
empowerment. With great responsibility comes great power.
Approaching girls feeling empowered and resourceful will
radiate an extreme self assurance and obviously a very
good feeling. Girls are very attracted to guys who embrace


their self actualisation because that type of guy feels

extremely good about himself.
The foundation of feeling good in field is knowing who you
are. Who you are is a combination of what you are and
what you do. What you are is present, positive dominant
and a man of action. Line these three things up and not only
will you feel good, but you will experience nimbus. The
epitome of naturally arising euphoric good feelings. You
will influence girls with this same feeling.

To access good feelings take responsibility for getting into

the moment, that is to say, becoming present. When present
in the moment you dont have a chance to think about
anything else. When present you dont have a chance to
think and hesitate causing you to act attractively with
conviction. Presence is a literally empty headspace where
there is no self sabotaging thoughts occupying your

How you can do this is simply talking to a lot of people,

being extroverted and physically interacting with your
environment. We call being interactive with your
environment being outside of your head. This is because
instead of thinking to yourself and self sabotaging you are
continually in the moment navigating the world.
Interaction with the world will bring your focus to
whatever is in front of your face. When you focus on what
is in front of you your headspace will not be occupied by
negative conscious influences. When you are dumb in a
state of no thinking everything you do will become fun. If
you have fun, you will influence girls with fun.
Being present also pertains to the classic three second rule.
If you approach instantly there is not enough time for your
mind to begin to manufacture conscious reasons why
youre not good enough or begin to make excuses as to
why you shouldnt approach. When you approach instantly
you dont feel bad, you influence the girl with good
feelings and therefore are attractive to the girl.
Positive-dominance (woo +intent/assertiveness with a
smile) is the core description of what it means to be a man.
When you are positive, you obviously fee good. As a man
you feel great when you are in a leadership position, when
you have responsibility and when you are making decisions.
When you feel good you will spontaneously assume a
leadership position, take responsibility and make decisions.
While youre feeling good, the woman will feel good
because she likes a man who is a leader, who takes

responsibility for him and her and a man who is decisive

over himself and her.
Furthermore, she will like the decisive, leadership qualities
because they are spontaneous, unpredictable, emotionally
spiking and hence arousing. Attraction is a combination of
high value plus a full range of emotions.
To round out the behavioural traits that bring you into
congruence with yourself as a man you need to be a man of
action. When you are moving forward as a man you feel
good. Contrastingly when you regress or stagnate it can
frustrate you to the point of madness. With girls you
obviously feel good when you are moving things forward.
When you are making a move or escalating. Interestingly,
even though girl doesnt always submit to your advances
she will respond well to it and like you for being the man
you are supposed to be. You make them feel good when
you look to move things forward even if things dont
actually advance. The fact that you have the balls to take
that action is emotionally arousing in and of itself.
If you make a move and the girl doesnt and will not take
part in your advances then that shouldnt compromise your
path. You want her to be involved with your path, not the
path itself. With enough declined advances you will lose
interest and continue on your path leaving her in your wake.
Its usually at this point that she realises that you were a
source of such good feelings and becomes motivated not to
lose that source of good feelings. You not being around

anymore leaves her with a bad feeling. Soon enough she

will be texting you to find out what you have been doing.
When you simultaneously implement presence, positivedominance and you take action you come fully into
alignment with what you are as a guy. If you deliberately
get present you will spontaneously be positive-dominant
and start to take action.
When you deliberately implement positive-dominance you
will spontaneously become present and start to take action.
When you deliberately start to take action this is an
expression of positive dominance and the fact you are
interacting with the world means you will have to become
momentarily responsive and hence come into presence.
When you implement one of you natural behaviour traits as
a guy the other traits will automatically come into
alignment as well. As stated above, when you implement
any of these natural traits you feel good and as a result you
make the girls feel good. Align all of your natural traits and
you feel extremely good. You get the NIMBUS.
The golden rule of Natural Game; The power of the


The NIMBUS is a term coined by Jeffy to describe when

you are in a primal euphoric state. When you have
NIMBUS everything you touch turns to gold. If you have
experienced nimbus you will know the unique and
powerful feeling it brings. It is something that could be
described as being in the zone or on fire. You can do no
wrong because nimbus is one and the same thing as pure
natural game. NIMBUS is the holy grail to amazing
success with women.
NIMBUS can be mistaken with a dirty egotistical high. The
high experienced by guy with NIMBUS is a polar opposite
to the high felt by ego validation. When you get a good
feeling from ego validation it is because everyone else
around you is giving you good feelings.
When you have NIMBUS you feel good because you have
a lot of good people to influence. You are like a siphon
pouring outwards turning water into wine.
As stated earlier a good feeling that is stronger than
happiness is fulfilment. The more people you can influence

as a man the more fulfilled you will be. This is another way
of saying if you take responsibility for yourself AND for
many others you feel extremely good as a man.
Complimentary to this phenomena women love to be
influenced by a man who has the capabilities to take
responsibility for himself and many others. That would be a
very high value man.
Influence many people and you feel good beyond happiness,
you feel fulfilled. The more you get fulfilment by
expressing your natural behavioural traits of presence,
positive dominance and taking action the better you will
feel. The euphoria of this good feeling is overwhelming. It
becomes a drug for girls who, by nature, are influenced by
whatever state they are exposed to.
If you are a better source of good feeling that any other
person as a source of feeling you will be very attractive to
In this nimbus state at the height of your good feelings you
will become mildly deluded. You will think youre the best
guy in the world, that all the girls love you and that you can
do no wrong. Of course, this deluded sense of self serves to
drive evolutionary natural selection. When you are in this
state you are most likely to confront other guys for their
girls and be with as many girls as you can.
When you have NIMBUS and are in a deluded state of
mind your reticular activation system (your focus) will not
even notice things that dont please you. You will think you
are the coolest guy in the world. When you perceive this

you will influence girls with this feeling as well. Whatever

you feel, she feels.
Two ways to achieve a good feeling if you are socially
Remember that feeling good is your default state. To look
to learn to feel good is to deny that you feel good in the
first place. To find your natural good-feeling self it will not
be a case of building towards it or forcing but rather a
case of letting go of your socially conditioned self and
allowing your natural self to emerge.
If youre not feeling good it is because of social
conditioning and ego, social conditioning causes the
pretending to be a chode ego. To perpetually feel good
you need to transcend social conditioning and the ego that
comes from it. There are two ways to do this. One is with
nimbus and being present. The other is via a rite of passage.
See the two graphs below.



In both instances you can see that you, the blue line, are
born with little anxiety. In an infantile unconscious state
you dont have the capacity to feel anxiety other than reflex
anxiety. When a person has low anxiety levels they are
high value, calm and therefore considered to be cool. This
is taken away by social conditioning.
Throughout childhood and adolescence you are socially
conditioned and forced by the world around you to think of
yourself as something you are not. This is you forming the
pretending to be a chode ego.
In this headspace you are constantly trying to impress a
cool impression onto the world. This means you
constantly have conscious stress and anxiety. While
socially conditioned you are constantly trying to defend
against others impressing a bad impression onto you. This
means you constantly have stress and anxiety.
Biologically you are being forced to adopt a false idea of
yourself that is the polar opposite of what you actually are.
You were born positive-dominant but social conditioning
persuades you to adopt a negative-passive ego for yourself.
This fundamental incongruence between what you are and
what you do leads to constant anxiety from cognitive
dissonance. Under social conditioning you constantly
struggle and react emotionally to the unanswered question
who am I?
As shown in the graphs, once socially conditioned you
always have higher anxiety levels then women. This means


you are less cool than women, lower value and are
perpetually unattractive.
Contextually if you have confidence through ego validation
then in that context alone you will be cooler than the girls
and attractive. Otherwise, most guys drink, so do girls.
When guys drink their conscious brains become nullified,
they become present and cease to second-guess themselves
and become attractive.
While when women drink they begin to question
themselves more and their physical desires become
unstifled by the nullification of their conscious brains.
Contextual confidence and drinking plays host to 90% of
modern day pick-ups. Which are rare from cold approaches
The first way you can get a really good feeling while
learning natural game is if you experiences the nimbus.
Sometimes, usually with the assistance of alcohol, you
might stumble onto nimbus and have a great night. On a
night you have nimbus you are having fun and so present
that your mind isnt confounded by negative conscious


On an on night you can do no wrong and you will have

amazing success because you will have less anxiety than
women and therefore be cooler, high value and attractive to
them. But, once the night is over you will snap back into
bad-feelings ego mode. In some cases you might start to
form an Im a huge pimp ego which will lead to a massive
state crash the next time you go out.
If you have enough nimbus nights you will soon become
very familiar with that good feeling and it might even
become a constant thing. But in most real world cases for
someone who doesnt know better a nimbus night will elicit
a pimp ego. For most guys one good night is followed by
about thirty bad nights and massive inconsistency.
If you do have a one night stand with girl on a night you are
lucky enough to have nimbus you might have difficulty

keeping her around because as you snap back to reality

after the night she will realise you arent as much fun or
the guy she thought you were. This also explains the
extreme amount of phone number flakes that come from
high energy night club game.
Even though you were fun there and then on the night its
not who you usually are because you have the reality of
pretending to be a chode. When you call she expects to
hear cool fun club nimbus guy, but she gets a version of
you that is pretending to be a chode. You gave her good
feelings in the club, you gave her bad feelings on the phone.
She will also have an intuition when shes having fun with
you in the club that youre on a kind of TEMPORARY
HIGH that is unstable and inconsistent. She had fun in the
moment, but she isnt going to waste her time with a guy
who is just pretending to be his natural fun self, she wants
a guy WHO IS his natural fun self .
This is the same for guys who get numbers and put girls
into a good mood when they are on an ego trip. She will
have fun there and then but clearly understand he is not the
source of good feelings, he is just revelling the good feeling
being projected onto him. Even then, girls themselves are
socially conditioned to think that being with that sort of guy
will make them happy.
Even though hooking up with a big ego guy will give a girl
happiness it will never be as deep as fulfilment. Realise
girls are in fact socially conditioned as well. Ensure the


way you behave is socially calibrated and doesnt transcend

their reality and thus limit your potential to pick up.
The second way to get that really good feelings is through
self actualisation. This will result in a perpetually good
feeling. If you undergo identity level change, namely, a rite
of passage you will get a perpetually good feeling so that
you instantly and naturally influence all the girls you meet
with a good feelings.

In ancient societies the rite of passage was when a boy

became a man. There was a good reason for this because if
they didnt undergo this process then they would never
really make the transformation, become self reliant and
become a source of reliance for the women around them.


Prior to conquering the rite a passage a boy would

experience anxiety over who he was and question whether
he could conquer the rite of passage or not. But, once he
put himself to the test and conquered whatever the rite
required he would no longer concern himself with external
factors. Self reliant he wouldnt have a care in the world.
He would perpetually feel good and be instantly attractive
to all women that he met. He would be enough just because
he is his masculine self.
Even though rites of passage may involve vastly different
things and vastly different challenge levels the rites would
result in a boy seeing himself as a man and cause him to
behave as one. Once this inner game is established he feels
less anxiety than the women and children around him. A
rite of passage graduate would see himself as higher value
and influence others to see him as high value. A rite of
passage graduate would have all the inner game he needs to
be extremely attractive to girls all the time. It would
become what he is.
The basic purpose of a rite of passage is to convert a boy, a
guy who has other people take responsibility for him
(socially conditioned ego), to a man who takes total
responsibility for himself free from the influences and
constraints imposed by others around him (self actualised
self esteem).
A rite of passage tests your emotional limit and pushes you
to the brink of your comfort zone. If you can journey to the
edge of your comfort zone and return back in one piece you


will know without a doubt that you can handle yourself in

any situation and thus have no anxiety in life.
If you are a rite of passage graduate, when others try to
impress onto that you are other than a man it wont even
register. You will have no need to try to make a special
impression on people because you know what you are. You
realise that simply making the impression you are a man is
the best impression you could possibly make.
In this headspace you have no anxiety, you feel good and
you perpetually influence girls around you with a good
This is the function (among others) of the Real Social
Dynamics bootcamp.
The process of transforming from inconsistent good
feelings to consistent good feelings; Identity Level
Change, the rite of passage in modern times.
In modern times there is no such rite of passage that clearly
transforms a boy to a man.
Basically it would involved you questioning everything you
know and pushing yourself to the edge of your comfort
zone. You would definitively move away from a reality
where everyone takes responsibility for you and you take
responsibility for yourself and your reality.
This means you need to let go of the externally formed
pretending to be a chode reality, pushing your comfort


zone and rebuilding your reality as defined by you. This is

shown in the graph below.

As a socially conditioned guy you would reside somewhere

on the bottom right hand side of this graph and women
would reside somewhere on the far right side of the graph.
You live in a reality where external forces take
responsibility for who you are. You will have a strong,
albeit, externally driven reality. As mentioned above this
reality is false and an susceptible to unpredictable crashing
when something happens that is beyond your reality. Like
getting blown out. Your capacity to feel good is volatile
and unstable.


In an ego based strong reality you can feel sporadically

happy but not fulfilled. Where as in an ego based reality a
woman can feel fulfilled and deeply happy. If you are
approaching women feeling less good than they are you
will never be attractive to them.
To undergo the modern day rite of passage you need to
push you comfort zone and leave the reality you have
always known by defying the external forces that define
who you are. You need to go against social conditioning
and the safe comfort zone that was your pretending to be a
chode ego.
But, in doing this you leave your comfort zone and
experience extreme anxiety as you move away from the
familiarity of what you have always known. On this graph
it would be depicted as moving from the bottom right side
of the graph to the centre of the bottom of the U curve
when your reality is at its weakest.
Its at the bottom of the U curve that you reach the
inversion point between a reality where others define who
you are and a reality where you define who you are. This is
the absolute brink of your comfort zone where you feel
most vulnerable. Experience your threshold of vulnerability
and survive and you cease to experience anxiety in the
future as you realise you can deal with anything.
This is the indifference threshold.
This could happen by chance from a culmination of
emotional events over the course of your life or it can

happen quickly if you are exposed to situations of extreme

emotional stress. Things like death in the family, childbirth,
near death experiences or jail time. Facing and overcoming
these things serves the same purpose as a rite of passage
and leaves you with no anxiety about any situations.
You are confident you can deal with anything and influence
everyone else that you feel confident to deal with anything.
On your own you will only tentatively explore the anxiety
inducing experiences that lie outside your comfort zone.
When things get tough outside your comfort zone you will
quickly retreat back to your socially conditioned comfort
zone. Even if you experience or achieve things outside of
your comfort zone the socially conditioned reality that has
been pulled over your eyes will reject anything but the
reality you have always known.
On your own you wont know what it means to be outside
of your comfort zone. You almost certainly wont push
yourself so far beyond your comfort zone that you reach the
brink of it and cross the indifference threshold. An
experienced coach can quickly push you to that frontier and
help you confront your comfort zone when you would
otherwise retract. A coach will push you to achieve
something that you would have great trouble achieving on
your own.
On introspection you will realise that you are actually far
more badass than you realise. Its just your social
conditioning forcefully blocking you from realising you are
then man you are. It takes external approval from a credible

source to verify that you can in fact let go of the socially

conditioned reality and begin to define your own reality the
way a man naturally does.
The verification that you survived the rite of passage is the
last externally accepted influence that plays a part in
defining who you are. That influence essentially gives you
permission to be yourself. This is the process of bootcamp.
In modern times this would equate to you ceasing to be
identified by what people impress onto you and ceasing to
try to make an impression onto others. Self actualising and
feeling good free of conscious or external constraints.
When you actually let go of the socially conditioned reality
and accept that you have been to the frontier of your
comfort zone and back you will realise that you are in fact
the man you are supposed to be. You realise that your game
game CANT NOT be a ten.
Feeling perpetually good is a muscle; the responsibility of
building it and exercising it.
To make the transformation from boy to man, from having
responsibility taken for you to taking responsibility for
yourself, is like building a muscle. Biologically being a
man is your default state, but you actually have to take
action to come into your power as a man. The best way to
form the muscle is via a rite of passage. The way to
strengthen and retain that muscle is via congruence tests.
The identifiable stepping stones between your externally
defined reality and your internally defined reality come in

the form of congruence tests. Pass a test and you grow in

your internal centeredness, fail a test and you regress to
chode ego. That is also to say, at any time you could be
taking responsibility for yourself, or letting others take
responsibility for you.

When you pass a test you solidify your reality as internally

defined. But between the time you are being tested you
have the potential to be moving towards situations where
those congruence tests arise.
Congruence tests are automatically generated by women to
figure out if you are an alpha male and attractive or if you
are a beta male and unattractive. Conceptually congruence
tests are like a gym where you can work out. The more you
move away from your comfort zone the more intense the

test will become. Once you pass the most intense tests you
begin to relinquish others influences and responsibility
over you. You cross the indifference threshold and begin to
form a stronger and stronger internally defined reality.
The more you internally define your reality the stronger
your core confidence becomes. With this comes a good
feeling. The better you define your own reality the more
emotionally unreactive you are to congruence tests.
Nothing takes away from you feeling good. The more
youre not reacting to others reality the more you assert
your reality onto others. You establish higher value and
women become emotionally aroused as they react to you.
The less you are looking for validation from impression the
more you simply express yourself and have fun. When you
have fun you feel good.
Core confidence, unreactive, assertiveness and
unreactiveness. Congruence with what you are which leads
to fulfilment and a perpetual and influential good feeling.
The best thing is, because you are internally centred there is
no Achilles heel that could instantly destroy your reality.
Your strength of reality and resulting feeling of fulfilment
is a conceptually 100% self defined. You are perpetually
high value, you influence others because they dont
influence you. You are perpetually attractive.
You always feel extremely good. No one can take that
away from you. Welcome to consistency.


Only you can sabotage your self-defined reality by being

lazy and regressing back to socially conditioning. A force
that is constantly attacking you.
The more unreactive you are, the more assertive you are,
the more core confidence you have the more value you
offer the more attractive you will be. The potential of inner
game is overwhelming.
In a lot of cases it is your potential that is scary, not you
failure. Your potential is unchartered territory while failure
is familiar comfort zone.
When you define your own reality you might not always
feel euphoria but you will always have a baseline of good
feelings as a function of fulfilment. Importantly, you will
never feel bad. Therefore you will never be unattractive
because no one can take away your natural what you are.
You sense of who you are and the temporary happiness
can be taken away from you if you define yourself
externally with ego.
If you never feel bad and have an egoless, natural, baseline,
constant good feeling you will certainly always be a
sexworthy guy. Its from this baseline that you have a
instant slip stream to the NIMBUS euphoria. Ego based
nimbus is fleeting, sporadic and volatile. Self esteem based
nimbus is steady, constant and internally manufactured.
Ego based nimbus is like fireworks. Self esteem based
nimbus is like hot coals or a laser beam. A steady and
unwavering source of congruent good feelings. The power


of a self esteem based nimbus is proportionate to the

influence it has on others.
For a guy who truly defines his reality achieving a nimbus
feeling that is instantly very attractive to girls is as simple
as going into a social situation. Having nimbus at your
finger tips is the holy grail of natural game.
When you self actualise by shedding the constraints and
influence of external factors you mindset changes. Instead
of having a mindset where you are constantly concerned
and stressed you have one that is carefree, easy-going and
You are always higher value and attractive to the girls you
talk to.
Your mindset stimulates your pituitary gland which
regulates the hormones in your body. Because your mindset
is good you body feels good automatically. Because you
automatically feel good the mirror neurones in the womens
brains are triggered when you approach them and
influence their reality. Because you feel good you influence
the girl with a good feeling. You are attractive.
You realise your game CANT NOT be a ten. Girls wont
see you as anything less.
Whatever you feel, she feels. This is the golden rule of
natural game.




The 2008 Video.

Friday, December 19th, 2008
It is with great pleasure that I introduce to you the
documentary that was my 2008.

More than 23 years in the making and several software and

hardware catastrophes later it has come to fruition perfectly.
Originally I wanted to focus on video media but realised it
wasnt possible with a mere laptop. So i went into boggin
and writing and the blog has been on fire this year. But,
here in Sydney I have afforded myself a computer for
gaming and production purposes and this production is the
The video basically summarises my 2008. Where ever I
went I would see people dancing and I would be quick to
film it. Also, a lot of the time I would be dancing around,
so I filmed that too.


Another highlight of the year were the troublesome times.

Basically this means the nation of France which I will write
about soon. But other lowlights included a repercussive gay
bar in Sweden, a gay guy trying to seduce me in Montreal
(France-ish) and of course the Westin hotels.
Then, I was shipped off to the torrid Euro-tour of darkness
and Transylvania. But, as hard as it was I made it through
and had an awesome time and grew beyond belief.
As SUMANOVA rolled around it was all-systems-go in the
sun with the crew in the Mediterranean and on the beautiful
beaches of Sydney. Plenty of drunken girl associated
adventures happening there.
Which brings me to the secondary purpose of my life and
my primary hobby. Girls. Two highlights in terms of girls
this year. Cherish. And secondly more girls than I could
ever imagine. Gorgeous girls. The hottest was Iceland, then
Sweden, then Canada, then America, then Australia.
And finally the purpose of my life. My path: my students.
This year I have met and worked with more amazing
people then I have ever known. I am proud to have been a
part of the lives of all of the students that graduate from
bootcamp. Right now, over the Christmas and New Year
holiday season they are wreaking havoc representing the
Alexander~ team.
And in thanks to my esteemed colleagues you guys inspire
me to greatness and compel me to act humorously and
entertain you with stupidity. Most thanks goes to Jeffy,

Ryan, Brad, Saad and Derrick. Ryan, Saad and Brad are
like my brothers. Derrick and Jeffy find themselves in a
position where they kind of take the role of hesitant father
to me.
Much love to my instructor assistants. You guys are the shit.
Especially ze Swan, the hero of the blog. My crew here in
Australia. James are the hot shit interns. Nadar and Jedi,
you guys know the real meaning of the word minger.
And last but most importantly to cherish. Heartbreaking
times. You know that I love you.
But a man has a mission. Nothing will ever compromise
My mission involves lots and lots of girls. The two cannot
go together now.
Enjoyin fullscreen.
Watch out 2009.




BY Alexander~ | January 21st, 2009 at 12:39 AM

The female brain: the breakthrough of 2008
I had just finished a bootcamp in Winnipeg. Closed the deal
and had a huge week lined up in LA. Flight was delayed so
I perused the bookstore looking for something new and
There on the shelf, in its entire eye catching marketing
glamour was the book that completely turned my program
and my game on its head. The book that would confirm
academically a lot of the theories and experiences that I
already knew. It gave me the most important perspective
than any guy who has the intentions of improving this part
of his life need to be aware of.
Sceptically I inspected the book, guessed that it would be
like so many other anecdotal, quick fix how to flirt piece
of shit books out there. Reading the info about the author i
quickly discovered that her expertise was verified with
decades of experience in the field of relationship
psychology and neuropsychology.
Basically put, it described the mechanical workings of the
brain. The Author, Louann Brizendine M.D. is a
neuropsychiatrist at the university of California and the
founder of womens and girls mood and hormone clinic.
If anyone from the academic area is qualified to offer
insight into the working of a female mind it is this woman.

The book is primarily designed to address the differences

between male and female brains, as Brizendine argues all
research on the brain has historically presumed that it is a
male brain in question.
More than anything the book contrasts the differences
between male and female brains, development, hormonal
characteristics and the behaviour that one could expect in
light of certain neurological activity.
At university this was the focus of my studies and I
thoroughly benefited from and enjoyed this book.
Although a lot of amazing epiphanies are outlined in this
book the ones most applicable to mens self actualisation
and understanding of social dynamics I will cover in detail.
Being a biologist Brizendine is an advocate of evolutionary
theory and supports all of her facts empirically from this
perspective. The basic idea is that emotionally, we are
essentially monkeys with a cognitive computer strapped on
In addition to this it is presupposed knowledge that the
more a person performs a certain activity the more brain
cells are assigned to that task. This overtly supports the
Real Social Dynamics directive to get into field.
On an emotional level, humans have the reproductive
emotional brains of cats, dogs or chimpanzees, but, evolved
a higher cognitive brain to consciously regulate these

emotions, build pyramids, design computers and develop

Examples of this might be when you interact with a woman
from another language. Given that you cannot logically
communication via the traditional words the emotional
channels are tapped into and attraction for both the man and
woman is amplified, or rather unstifled, because there is
less higher cognitive brain involved to interfere.
Reproduction made simple. Just like mammals.
Furthermore, people drink to delete the cognitive brain that
restrains them from being themselves, trusting themselves
and acting through their own intentions.
Confidence happens when you perceive that nothing holds
you back.
When do most people sleep together? When they are
drinking or drunk. This is a result of a combination of
social conditioning (advertising campaigns) and
neurochemical reactions.
Neurologically, the alcohol has an inhibition effect on the
cognitive brain, effectively unshackling the more primal
emotional brain that was being held in check by the
conditioned higher cognitive brain.
Is alcohol crucial to achieving sex? Of course not. But

Brizendine confirms academically the knowledge that the

community has so long been aware of and implemented.
Brizendine clearly states that 'female sexual arousal begins
when the brain turns off.
Of course most men would read this and instantly think, get
her drunk. Thats socially expected and conditioned from a
young age. But another, more effective way of doing this is
engaging the brain, whilst sober, illogically.
When I use the word illogically I mean saying things that
dont quite make sense, random non-sequesters, physical
charisma and unpredictability. This can come in the form of
something funny, which in actual fact is an element of
surprise and an emotion spike. Witty comments that add an
unforseen perspective on a situation, a sudden change of
mood to anger or excitement.
An unknown adventure, thrills and uncertainty. All of
which are emotional spikes, which guys like Tim, Tyler,
Jeffy, and Ryan~ have been talking about for years.
Imagine that women's emotional brain and logical brain are
like a counterbalanced scale. The more she is logical, the
less she is emotional. The more she is emotional the less
she is logical. Ask any executive coach about what happens
to a girl when she becomes emotional, or in other words
detached from logic.
Sex happens when the brain is turned off according to

Brizendine. Engage her emotionally and disregard logic she

will fall into your communication frame, get her state from
you and become very sexually aroused.
Contrastingly, have you ever engaged women in a logical
conversation? Where are you from, what are you doing,
where did you go to school, I have a friend who has a
jealous ex girlfriend who keeps pictures of some other girl
in his draw and its a two part question. Pretty gay. Boring
and incongruent with whom you are as a man. To the
woman, as long as you are predictable and logical attraction
will be about as accessible to you as Area 51.
The logical emotional balancing act as outline by
Brizendine is in support of the Alpha Male Beta Male
theory. Emotionally and illogically she desires the alpha
and the rush that comes from him. Logically and
cognitively she thinks it best to be with a committed stable
guy. She is right on both counts and is continually at the
mercy of the push pull miscommunication between the
logical and emotional brains.
As a side note, the formula that should be adapted for group
theory should be friendly and logical with the targets
friends while being 'flirty and illogical' with the target
Essentially flirting is illogicality.
A lot of guys fail to remember the constant neurobiological
civil war that is constantly being ranged inside of any

woman. With the exception of some birth control pills and

other treatments. On a monthly basis woman undergo a
literal rollercoaster of hormonal changes.
To look at this graphically as depicted in the book is quite
astounding. For two weeks of the month there is relative
peace, then a short period of acute heightened sexual desire
(bought on by the release of testosterone) then a string of
days when a woman can become irritable emotional and
easily upset.
Anecdotally some people think that the reason why number
thirteen is unlucky because women have thirteen menstrual
cycles during a calendar year. I have no idea about the
accuracy of this information. Interesting though.
This chemical-behavioural fluctuation is further testament
to the Real Social Dynamics ideology of living in a strong
and self sustained reality. Women are drawn to men who
serve as the grounding energy amongst the chaotic world.
When her emotions are running wild, an unreactive,
assertive and decisive man serves as the stability that is
biologically challenging to maintain. This is another way of
interpreting the notion of masculine polarity Tyler dissects
in the Blueprint.
Be sure that due to womens emotional fluctuation there
will be fluctuation in her behaviour and psychology. In the
eyes of a traditional community student this will come
across as tests. Be unreactive to these tests and you will
have just the sort of strength and self trust that she will

naturally gravitate towards. Moral of the story is to be

internally centred, unreactive and radiate a strong reality.
To further crystallise the notion of gender polarity you can
think of men as independent entities and women as the
forces connecting them, binding groups and circumventing
social turbulence. Historically women relied on men for
their physical wellbeing. Although modern society has
super ceded this primal pattern there is no escaping the
emotional and psychological urges to fulfil this innately
wired societal role.
The basic emotional brain ceased significant evolution
thousands of years ago as it was already totally equipped to
pair bond, reproduce, naturally select worthy mates and
protect children. These properties still exist today strong as
ever but are somewhat stifled by cognition.
Have you ever had a women tell you that shes
complicated? This is the internal war between the modern
brain and the primitive brain. The logic of stability versus
the offspring of the dashing. Understand this objectively
and fulfil both criterion.
On a deeper level how is it that women in pre-language
primitive situations and still today intuitively understand
others thought and emotions with the skill level that
Brizendine quotes rivals a psychic? Anyone who has
spent time in the field will know just how perceptive
women are, they know all about you before you open your

The self is always coming through. This is the bottom line

of natural game.
The psychological take on this never published prior to this
book explains this phenomenon in a way that truly shook
my perception of game and is on the same level of the
As a man you have a generally good perception of how
people really are regardless of their actions and
behaviours. Women however have ten times this perception,
and the level of intuition borders on freaky.
The perception itself evolved as a result of lacking physical
ability. Instead of physical intervention or evasion
perceptual interpretation and intuition would identify
potential danger quickly and allow for the nullifying or
evasive action.
Realise that whenever you are in the presence of women
they will know instantly how you are feeling.
The most interesting part is how they do this. Of course
there is no telepathy involved. What Brizedine reports is
going on is a process called mirroring. Some may be
familiar with this in the context of NLP, which is creepy.
However women naturally do this continually to make
sense of the emotions the people they interact with are
experiencing. Their rate and depth of breath mimic a man's,
their posture mirrors the man's, the muscle tensions of the

man is internalised by the woman, facial expression is

matched and women begin to process emotions herself as it
they were the mans she is interacting with.
In community talk this process would occur most acutely
when women are congruence testing men. This is testing
for any sort of cognitive dissonance, apology, nervousness,
self doubt or ego on his behalf. If the reading is positive for
these negative emotions you can be sure that it is unlikely
the women will endure an interaction where there is
nothing but anxious feelings
to be experienced.
By that same principle if you approach a girl in a fun
positive state she will instantly internalise it to perceive
what sort of guys you are. If its high state or nimbus, fun,
thrills, excitement or self trust she will internalise all the
same things. Women are receptive by nature, drawing state
from the world around whereas men draw it from within
and siphon it onto others.
The real key to having a good night and getting girl boils
down to the sole fact that whatever you are experiencing
emotionally is exactly what she will experience.
Unless the case is that she has a stronger frame or reality
than you.
Imagine you go in anxious about picking her up. She will
internalise anxiety and you are done. Consider you think
that she has more value than you, she will experience your

feelings of neediness and be repelled. Contemplate

approaching hopeful of getting a number, make out or any
other form of close. She will instantly experience your
feelings of hopefulness, or more accurately your lack of
self trust. She doesnt like the feeling of not trusting herself.
Youre done.
Now, imagine youre in state.
Nimbus ablaze...she will feel it a mile away and pug in as
quickly as possible.
Imagine you decide to believe your game is a fucking ten,
she will feel the allusive feeling of self trust that often
escapes a women and be drawn quickly in.
Imagine you are the bringing the party, you are radiating
fun. She will instantly get greedy and want some of that too.
But its ok because you can turn water into wine, you will
never run out of goodness.
This is my ultimate rule of game....
whatever you are feeling is what she will feel.
This is the pillar of flawless natural game. Instant attraction.
You cannot control what she is feeling, but you can control
what you are and your experience.
Similarly, during a congruence test a woman is enjoying

your company and enjoying the feelings you are giving her
but will test the strength of your reality and frame. A man
whos feelings change as a result of a failed test (emotional
reactivity) will influence the girl's emotions negatively and
she will most likely be done with him.
It is empowering to know that if you express yourself to the
right tune, feel good, genuinely trust yourself and live a
perceptually fulfilled life women will never be far away.
The self is always coming through.
Be the music,
People will feel you loud and clear,
And be moved.


BY Alexander~ | January 21st, 2009 at 1:00 AM

Getting into State
Get into state. Because getting into state is good. When you
are in state, you arent not out of state. And while this
doesnt necessarily make you attractive to girls, it certainly
doesnt make you unattractive. But, that depends.
Honestly, and if you ask my closest friends in the company,
Im not really motivated by girls. One time I drunk dialed a
friends ex girlfriend and exposed her to some verbal
obscenities. But, as I was always shining through, she must
have been attracted to my nimbus. When I asked her what
her address was she was shocked. She must have thought it
was for outer game purposes. Nope. The corner vendor has
ceased to serve alcohol.
I wanted to visit her house for inner game purposes.
Point is, when I asked her what her address was she was
shocked, paused for a moment considering the oral lashing
I had given her, and asked why do you want my
For invitational purposes.
She then volunteers her address. You beauty.


But, in my quest to get more state, I got distracted by the

hermit crabs in the water fountain and I forget all about the
Santa Claus style drop in she was expecting. No presents
for her. State reigned supreme in my priorities.
When I rubbed my eyes and figured out where I was the
next day, I came to the conclusion that she was attracted to
me because I was more inspired by getting some state then
I was inspired to give her a statement of outer game. This
lead to the extrapolated conclusion that I should do more
things like that, but be mindful to capitalise on my outer
game inspiring state and share the love.
Results have been positive and medicinally compromising
For you, the budding glory monger, you may actually have
your priorities out of order. Do you go out to sarge or do
you go out to irritate the bouncers of the establishment?
I see a lot of guys who go out for reasons other than
themselves. To put anyone or anything in front of your
cause is to assume that you are lower value than them, and
hence, be unattractive. No girl will tell you her address.
The club is my office. But, I have no boss, only the agent
Smiths. I cant drink because I am at work, so I just get
into state and then say whoa a lot.
Technically, state is default, and is what happens when you
perceive that nothing stands in your way. When there is
nothing in your head to prevent it from coming to you, you

are in state. You cant force it, though. Like so many other
things, if you let go, it will come straight to you. But, not
like money in the casino, thats an exception.
More technically, self esteem based state is proportionate to
your ability to influence others. If you subscribe to natural
game, state comes from within. The more people you have
to influence, the more you call upon your resources from
within, and like a siphon it just begins to flow. Slow at first,
but it can build momentum.
Technically, if you do something positive, dominant or
simply take action, you will move more towards state then
you were previously. You want your cognitive traffic to
cause the people around you to do matrix style limbo to
avoid falling under your spell. But, they are only human.
Bring more state and they will succumb to your presence.
What are the well know state building techniques? If youre
a bit of a beginner and want to get a bit of a smile up in the
club, try talking to a few sets, singing, shouting, high fiving,
or clapping your hands.
Try it now. Sing this song... and follow the lyrics. Clap
your hands, stand up, bob your knees and give someone a
high five. Sing loud, break the shackles. You dont have
bad intentions, why would you limit yourself?
OK.. hit the song and sample some beginner state.
Remember, whatever you feel she feels.


Cradle Transformations: Part Two of Six.

Thursday, January 22nd, 2009
(Transformations 2. Part 2 of 6: The Cradle. Continuaton of
Part 1: Leverage.)
Writing about my leverage that moulded me into what I am
today was one of the hardest things I have had to do.
Everything mentioned happened only three of four years
ago but now it seems like it was another lifetime. It was a
former self.
To recount the emotions experienced at the time of my life
I read my old emails, looked at the old photos and read the
old love letters I had stored in a secure metal box under my
bed. After being so happy for so long it was a riveting
emotional shock to my system.
In going over everything that happened it helped me to
realise and appreciate how far I have come and remember
what I fail to realise so many people are subjected to on a
daily basis. Most walk around trapped in the prisoner of
war camp that is their own confused soul.
But to escape this place of torture there is some kind of a
process. A series of experiences. Some will never get to the
bottom of the well. Some live life as alpha males and are on
top of things from day one. But for the most part everyone
is constantly struggling. Until they hit the bottom of the
In hindsight the leverage I wrote about was very messed up.
But dont think that I dont realise that many people have

far more fucked up leverage than I do. But its true that
everyone has a worst thing that they experience and that
worst thing is relative from person to person. That worst
thing might be similar in terms of how extreme the
negative and desperate feelings are from person to person.
Looking back in horror and embarrassment of what I was I
wondered how the fuck I could possibly have been in that
headspace? On a weekly basis I wonder why my budding
students could come into program with the worldview they
have. Once that sadness and desperation is out of your
reality it really is out of your reality. Once you start making
shit happen and take control of your life there is no going
back. You cant avoid becoming what you want to be,
becoming what you are supposed to be .
If you are coming from that place of fear and scarcity then
it is quite a challenge. I realised the only reason I was in
that headspace in the first place was because of myself. The
more personal the wound the more universal. My story is
similar to everyone elses.
When I was young and in the embryonic stages of my
identity development I was heavily influenced by my
parents. As it is the case with most people my parents were
proud, caring and took all the responsibilities for me.
Like all parents they wanted the best for me and they
worked tirelessly trying to make it happen. Private schools,
tutors and driving me to any sports training I was involved
in. We lived a perfect life. But because it was so perfect I


had a lot of responsibilities taken for me. This resulted in

me growing into a little bitch. A total mummys boy.
I was a romantic, I wanted everyone to be friends. I thought
about marrying a girl when I was ten and I was deadly
serious. I was raised on Disney movies, milk and honey. I
didnt like conflict and I couldnt handle confrontation. I
was massively socially scared and awkward during school.
So I spent most of my time being introverted or attention
seeking and digging myself a deeper social hole. The
deeper I fell the more engrained my self-inflicted social
retardation became
Because I didnt live in the moment and in the social
interaction I lived in reaction, very soon I was shunned
because I was always playing social catch-up and not
offering value. I hung with the cool kids though because I
was involved in lots of sports. But because I wasnt usually
involved in the conversation I had huge amounts of time to
quietly think to myself. This spawned a consciousness of
social self awareness and an intense interest in analysing
social dynamics.
So instead of developing a sense of the social world and its
intricacies I saw other people talking and I because an
expert of standing outside the circle and a master of being
inside my head. These times spent inside my head lead to
formation of a strong little bitch ego. Pretending to be a
chode. With decades of practice I was soon an absolute pro
at watching desperately from the outside of a conversation
all the while cultivating a larger than normal cognitive
capacity to think about social interactions.

Interestingly, though it may not be relevant, when I was

young I was dropped on my head. Yes, as funny as it
sounds as an eight month old infant I was dropped down
two flights of stairs. I tumbled down sharp steps then over a
three foot ledge then kept tumbling to the bottom of the
stairwell. I was critically injured and in an unstable
conditioned when I was rushed to intensive care unit at the
hospital. I fantasize that I have superpowers now like a
cartoon character in the sense that my brain would rebuild
itself stronger like a muscle would after damage. Maybe the
drop did have side effects though? Possibly a little
quirkiness or a neurological tolerance to ethanol?
I am told that the doctors told my parents and grandparents
that I would be lucky to live. I was the first grandchild of
for both sides of my family so I was the centre of
everybodys attention. So this event was a monumental
disaster in many peoples lives. It is said that it shaved
years off the life of my relative who dropped me. I cant
imagine my parents emotional reaction when they watched
in horror as their infant fell down several flights of stairs,
seeing his head balloon to the size of a basketball and then
being told that he would be lucky to live, or live without
irreversible brain damage.
Realistically this event probably just resulted in me being
babied more and given extra special care, love and attention.
The long term results would have it that many extra
responsibilities would be taken for me casting me into the
mummys boy role.


So from parental love and school experiences by the time I

was ten I had well and truly developed the lethal
combination of negative self image with plenty of cognitive
capacity to reaffirm it. This massive cognitive dedication to
thinking about my how much I sucked strengthened with
religious repetition and as a result my identity of little bitch
evolved from embryonic stages into a full grown mummys
I remember in primary school the massive frustration of
having so much going on in my head and no outlet to vent
it. The tension would build up and make me angry and
emotional as a little kid. I took it out on other kids. Through
the last four years of my grade school I would pick on less
fortunate kids. Not even for attention but just because I was
frustrated. I would systematically and intelligently make
their life a living hell. It was of course because I had
bought a living hell onto myself by allowing my thoughts
to become so immersed in self dissatisfaction that I forgot
what it was to be normal.
Because I had no respect from my peers and because they
overtly demonstrated that they had no respect for me I
passed it forward. Kicking kids when they were down,
spreading rumours about them, breaking their things and
stealing their stuff. On the outside I looked like a smiling
happy little dude but the older and more self aware I grew
the further and further down the pit I fell. The older I got
the more brain power I developed and with more brain
power came a greater ability to take myself lower and

Socially I was a logical, desperate, attention seeking and

validation seeking. But academically I had all this
headspace to use. I remember I would yell abuse at teachers
in primary school for attention and get separated from the
class. As a ten year old I would throw rocks at the
substitute teacher while he had his backed turned to the
class. He would send me out of the class with a shitload of
maths problems to keep me busy. But I would annihilate
them immediately and be right back inside openly
criticizing the teacher for not giving me more of a
challenge. The teacher would accuse me of using a
calculator, I would brag to him condescendingly Dont
worry about it, Im a genius son.
So by this stage I was well on the path to being self
destructive. I remember around the age of ten all the kids
would go for sleepovers on the weekend. Did I get
invited? Nope. I would spend many Saturdays and Sundays
just wondering around the house. I wasnt a fun guy to be
around, but I understood that I could act fun and deceive
people into thinking I was cool for a while. This was even
worse because not only was I a social black hole but I was
also developing fluctuating authenticity. That would use
my brain to be transparently manipulative. Which is even
Clutching at straws I was really losing out in the social
stakes. I would have some friends that would be
temporarily impressed by my antics but then turn on me
pretty quickly when they would realise it was a
compensation for a lack of self worth. If I wanted a social

life I needed to create a situation where people would have

to be friends with me. I realised that playing sports was the
I played in at least three sports teams every season. When I
played in a team we all had a common purpose so the
friendship was guaranteed. All throughout my childhood
and up until the point I went to America to represent Real
Social Dynamics playing in sports teams was always my
crutch for having a social life.
Sports was good because when I came into a new team the
disrespect I had earned for myself previously didnt exist
because of the team situation. Teams were good compared
to social situations where I didnt have anything to offer
anyone but neediness and insecurity. Because I was
unequivocally convinced I was a substandard person I was
never a good player in any team I was in.
I played to not screw up instead of having fun and playing
to win. I was fit, strong and skilful in the sports I played,
anyone could do that, especially me because I had a lot of
time on my hands. But because I expected myself to fuck
up I would. This made me constantly frustrated with my
performances leaving me to think about where I was going
wrong for hours. Soon this frustration turned into
underhanded physical aggression and dirty play directed at
other players.
If I knew then what I know now about inner game now I
would have been very good at any sport I committed
myself to. The application of what we know about

confidence and execution would be invaluable to a

professional team or athletes performance and consistency.
It would give a professional athlete an advantage that no
one else would even know existed.
Also, instead of being the player who wanted the ball I
would hesitate and let others go before me. I was the
calculator who watched and analysed the play of the game
and the tactics. With excess cognitive capacity to worry
about my lacking social skills I could easily dedicate that
same capacity to analysing the game, the players and all the
variables involved. This made me an even worse player. I
didnt at all trust myself in the moment and when I did go
to execute something in the game then I would be slow,
reactive and jerky and usually lose out.
I played most of my time in defensive roles because my
coaches realised that when I was under pressure I didnt
have a chance to think and second guess myself. For me
and my coaches it was excruciatingly frustrating to have
skills, strength and fitness but still come nowhere near my
potential. It was all self imposed sabotage resulting from a
lack of internal trust. There were days when my Dad would
drop me late to the game and I would just be thrust onto the
field without a chance to think. On those occasions I played
like a champion. When I go back and play again in a few
years I will be a very different player.
The time I spent watching the games I wasnt impacting on
and my dedication of headspace to analysing the game lead
to the rise of my interest in coaching. I coached football for
years and was very good at it. I was a perfect thing, I could

think for others, they could execute and I could hide behind
that. I was a good football coach. My coaching success and
experience qualified me for the job I have now.
Back on the school front I was about to go from primary
school to high school. I was enrolled at one of the most
prestigious schools in the Southern Hemisphere. After such
a torrid primary school experience, albeit self inflicted, I
was pretty concerned about starting a new all-boys school
with lots of rich kids. On the other hand at least I had a
blank slate to start with in terms my reputation. Also, two
teammates who I had played football with for years were
starting at the same school with me.
The school itself was amazing and to my surprise everyone
there was pretty mature and friendly for twelve year olds.
Everyone one came to the school from all over so everyone
started equal. In the beginning I had a little honeymoon
period of social success in a group with my friends from
primary school and a few others from my football team.
But sure enough my insecurity, immaturity and neediness
became apparent to those who got close enough to get to
know me. This was like having the social carrot dangled in
front of my face just perpetually just out of reach. The
desperation to achieve that social security drove me to
more immaturity and neediness forging a reputation for
myself that was unfavourable. I was quickly categorized
badly by my peers.
Both my teammates who I knew quickly made friends with
the cool group of kids. I would orbit the cool group of kids
but no one would really talk to me. It was a case of me

dreading recess times and trying to get into their group. I

tried harder and harder to fit in. I wanted to be invited to
the parties that they were having. So I would ask them
about their weekends and the parties they went to, drawing
attention to the fact that I wasnt invited.
Things got even worse. People turned on me when one of
my teammates started talking condescendingly about me
openly. So I found myself in a situation where people hated
me who I didnt even know. So, instead of just being
unknown, now I had a shit reputation. Of course due to my
immaturity and insecurity I deserved it and I cant blame
any thirteen year old for doing socially aggressive things.
Nevertheless this resulted in me hating myself chronically,
spending hours and hours wondering why people didnt
like me and further driving myself deeper into my own
cesspit of self worthlessness. I had been stabbed in the back
by someone I trusted and I relied on.
I had no friends at all at school for three quarters of a year
at a time in any young persons life where social
acceptance is the most important thing in the world. While
I was becoming more outcast social circles would become
stronger and stronger and harder to crack into. I became
introverted, sad, angry and depressed. I embraced my
outcast identity. I ate myself fat. I compensated by playing
heaps of sport and I cried a lot. I had to come to terms with
the fact that my old friend had shunned me and given me a
fucked up reputation.
I bought straight into the reputation I was told I had and I
believed it so much that my identity came to fulfil that

reputation the world was projecting onto me. At least it

gave me a strong sense of self. I didnt do anything but
study and think excessively about why I was such a piece
of shit. I became a stellar student because at least I could do
that. I began to identify with my academic results because I
was getting some good results due to uncompromised
homework time.
I identified myself as being scientific both socially and
academically. Weirdly I thought of myself as some kind of
scientist of life. I didnt live life, I just watched from the
sidelines thinking a lot about it. With this came a sense of
empowerment or control that I though compensated for a
lack of happiness. Really I had become a self hating, 13
year old geek with moobs.
At the end of my first year of high school my life was all
kinds of sad.
With no friends to occupy my weekends and weeknights
and the notion of having girls in my life was still beyond
my reality. I had plenty of time to become a high achiever.
I would spend hours working out, working on my fitness
and working on my sports skills. Working out at the age of
thirteen stunted my growth which I really regret because
now I am a short-ass. But it did get myself into the
prestigious A grade football team at school. With this came
some respect and helped me to move away from my bad
One day I had a gym class in the school gymnasium right
before the lunch hour. Some guys from another class had

come to the gym early in the lunch hour because they had
gym class right after the lunch. I played football with one
of the guys who went onto become the school vice-captain.
He was, and I think he still is the perfect human being. A
genius academically, musically and socially. He was in the
school teams for football and cricket and the fastest athlete
for all the prestigious events in his group and above. He
also won something like six academic awards for difference
classes at the graduation dinner.
Only now am I beginning to understand how one person
can be so impeccably successful. That day he asked me if I
wanted to join in their game of indoor soccer in the gym.
Like the other lunch hours I didnt have anything planned
except the books in the library. I accepted. Socially proofed
by a very popular dude and with their group having no
prior exposure to my reputation I joined in and for the first
time I had a proper group of friends.
Most people will never realise how much of a big deal it is
to be accepted socially especially after not knowing where I
fit in for the past seven years of school life. I could never
have known it at the time but because of the events on that
day, the meeting of the Scotch Crew, that I would meet
Jeffy and Tyler from Real Social Dynamics.
Now, every lunch hour I had a crew to hang with. These
guys lived in the same part of the city so now I had
someone to catch the train to school with. These guys
played basketball and football and cricket so now I had a
crew to go to games with and hang out with after. Now I


had a crew to talk to about the ideas of girls with. Life was
pretty fucking sweet.
All the while I was a loner I had a mind that was ultra
creative and adventurous. I wanted to do things, take risks,
grow, adventure and push the limits. Now that I had peers
to do that with I was inspired. Because I was coming from
a headspace I self hate I didnt care about rules and
standards anywhere near as much as they did so my antics
were very entertaining. We were all into the high
achievement thing and we would compete with each other
academically and compete alongside one another in sports.
Also, at a time in life when so much is new and exciting to
have someone to share all the new experiences with is
pretty amazing. Every day of a thirteen year olds life leaves
him in awe of the world, what he is capable of and in
wonder of what is possible. Its a magical stage in life and
for me it was that much more intense in contrast with the
previous decade of sadness. As a kid, to have friends, play
sports and go to an awesome school is pretty much the
pinnacle of fulfilment. I didnt have a care in the world. For
the first time in the life I was happy.
I had developed so much headspace to dedicate to whatever
I wanted. Now I was extremely happy. I was playing very
well in the second best cricket team at school with my crew
and I played social basketball every weekend with my
friends. Most importantly I was playing in the prestigious A
grade football team at school. With the onset of a positive
perspective on life I even began to get better at the sports I
played. With that newfound success came a massive

newfound happiness through fulfilment of finally

capitalising on all the extra training hours I had put in.
In my second year of high school I was selected to be in the
accelerated mathematics class along with the guys in my
Scotch crew. On the academic front I was acing all of my
classes and I even ended the first semester of my second
year of high school by getting straight A grades in 6 of my
eight classes. In the other classes I would get High Bs, but
those classes were Religious Education and Music Class so
it didnt really matter.
Life was better than good and getting more exiting. At this
school I was on a path to becoming a school leader which is
a very prestigious position to occupy and a golden ticket
into any job after school. Years later most of the Scotch
Crew became school leaders. Academically I was on par to
get into the college Psychology Course that Id had my
heart set on since I was ten years old.
I had gone through the dark times and I had learnt from
them. Now it was smooth sailing in socially exiting style.
At this rate I was going to become the psychologist that I
always wanted to be, maybe if I grew taller I could play
football seriously as well? The opportunities were there and
I was ready to take them. Life was going to be ok.
Then, just as I was reaching the point where the negativity
and and self inflicted sadness had almost faded completely
from my mind, I was robbed. My self-worth was pulled out
from under my feet and the future I had planned for was
taken from me, never to be obtainable again.

After finally settling into somewhere in life and finally

getting an awesome social circle and finally having my
academic potential nurtured at school, life was turned
upside down by numerous family based events.
We had originally moved to the city of Melbourne when
my Dad was promoted in his job. I lived in Brisbane until I
was eight then I moved to Melbourne and stayed there until
I was 13. My Dad was a very good industrial chemist but
due to a merger he has been laid off and all of a sudden the
twenty-thousand dollars per year school tuition fees
became insurmountable. Plus I had two younger brothers
who would require the same investment when they came
along to school.
As fate would have it, if my Dad didnt get laid off that
year in the future I never would have been able to earn the
money to invest in bootcamp.
At the same time my mother parents heath was declining.
They lived in my hometown of Brisbane where living was
generally cheaper especially for private school fees. So to
afford school fees and to move back closer to support my
relatives we planned to move at the end of the year. What
this meant for me was being abducted from my perfect
situation that I had been through so much to achieve.
However I had no idea how badly this move would impact
on my life. It was soon after I moved that the leverage part
of my story began.
As well as the move the job situation put our family under a
lot of stress. At the same time I was becoming a teenager

and had to deal with all the headaches that come with that.
It was hard enough moving back to a city where old bonds
had withered away but to add duress to my situation my
Dad had decided to start his own business.
Since the time Dad started his first business in his field of
expertise it was very touch and go. Of course when you
start a business you have to expect to go hundreds of
thousands of dollars into debt. I remember the combined
stress of running a family, putting three children though
expensive private school and going into massive debt to run
a business caused a lot of stress in my family which I felt I
beared a lot of.
This is not to mention the risk involved with not knowing
how successful a new business will be. So Dad stepped up
his workload to make it happen for our family. Mum did
the same. So instead of having the Dad I used to be able to
play sport with and a mum I could talk to it got to a stage
where I felt neglected. Of course I reacted by regressing
back to the victim bitch I used to be and this only worsened
the situation.
As it turned out, in spite of my Dads superhuman work
ethic and enthusiasm to make his new business work he
was the victim of corporate sabotage. While he didnt know
it at the time colleagues were sabotaging his business and
interfere with his prospective clients. This meant that for a
few years he would work his hands to the bone and make
no progress and the accumulation of even more debt. At the
time this was a disaster for me because the Dad figure was
caught up in so much work. I was lost at the best of times

but this didnt help. Years later he started another business

which is now inspiringly successful.
Now he lives with my family in the richest suburb of the
city and he has not one, but four Mercedes Benz and a four
wheel drive in his driveway. His work ethic and success is
an example of extreme work ethic and a heroic victory of
an underdog that inspires me all the time. Id think to think
that hard work is part of my identity as well.
But at the time when I moved back to Brisbane my Dads
business success was still a decade away. At the time we
moved back we were suffering from serious financial
scarcity. I was one of the kids at a private school who
didnt have the same possessions or do the things the same
cool things as the other kids. Starting at a new school was
suicidal torment and pure misery. Stress on the home front
rounded out my daily life.
When I moved states there is a difference in the education
system. The age someone starts school at in different states
is different by one year. So, when I moved to Brisbane I
would have to go from year eight straight into year ten to
stay with my same age group. When we saw the teacher at
the new school he warned my parents and I that I would
have trouble keeping up and I would be effectively
accelerating past a grade. But my academic results at my
former school were stellar where I was one of the highest
academic achievers in my class. So we all thought that I
could handle skipping a year of school.


If it wasnt simply bad enough that I had to start at a new

school where I knew no one there were several other
factors stacked against me.
Firstly I lost a year of relative maturity. By going into a
grade where everyone else was accustomed to a higher
academic workload than me I was acutely immature by
comparison. I had trouble managing the sudden onslaught
of homework that I couldnt understand. My social skills
and sense of self worth didnt have the most stable history.
Having a maturity and experience disadvantage wasnt an
advantage at a new school.
Also, people from Brisbane generally dont like people
from Melbourne. I was reminded of this daily.
Also, at the time I moved to the city of Brisbane no one
played Australian rules football there. My one ace up my
sleeve at my former school was that I was a good football
player in a school where football was religion. But in
Brisbane the dominant sport was rugby. Australian Rules
was not just a minority sport but it was verbally hated on by
everyone. Conversationally the Australian Rules is known
as A.F.L. Conversationally in Brisbane Australian Rules is
called Gay. F. L. I played Gay F. L. which made me gay.
By year ten students have formed extremely solid cliques
with which they identify strongly with. By identifying with
a clique they develop a competitive hate for those from
other cliques. If you werent accepted by one group or
another you were left to be ostracised by every clique
making it harder and harder to be accepted into one.

Also, around the age of fourteen is the time when boys start
to realise their physical strength. This is expressed by
wrestling and fighting. Brisbane is one of the most violent
cities in Australia especially due to the rugby culture. Every
class I was in I would be mercilessly hit or beat or punched
until my bruises had bruises and I couldnt use that part of
my body anymore.
When I got to school at the start of the year it was cricket
season. In my grade there were about five teams graded A
through to E. At my old school I just payed for fun. After
try-outs at my new school I was put straight into the A
cricket team. This should have been something to celebrate
because the A cricket team is an indicator of status.
Unfortunately this meant that a popular player from last
years team was dropped from the team when I replaced
I wasnt an A grade player at the time and I would always
make mistakes cost the team when I played. So the other
very alpha guys in the team would hate on me and take it
out on me at practise. Because I had no idea how to bat I
would always have to practise. At which time the guys who
had accelerated though puberty to the point that they were
man-children would bowl rock hard cricket balls at me
faster than I had a chance to react. At practise I got laughed
at as I was a mannequin on a firing range. I would go home
aching, bruised on my chest, back and groin.
The one thing I had going for me at my old school was my
academics. When I changed schools and skipped a grade I
found that I couldnt do any maths at all. I went from being

an A+ maths student to an E grade failing maths student.

With extensive tutoring I could get the occasional C grade
but it was too expensive to keep up especially when I
wasnt producing results. In the other classes the teachers
simply didnt give a shit and my A grades my old school
became Ds grades at my new school. I spent most of my
classes defending myself against being beat by other
students. Soon enough I realised that I couldnt possibly
make up the grade skip and I just stopped trying. After the
grade skip there was no way I was going to get into the
psychology course at university that I wanted to. I wasnt
going to get the university entry score I needed so I just
gave up altogether.
Also, my last name is Treasure. This is another
disadvantage to start at a new, ultra competitive all boys
school with. But what was worse, and I still cannot believe
that the school teacher did this, was that on my first day at
the new school, when the teacher called my name during
roll call, my teacher actually made fun of my name in front
of the whole class. Saying things like You are a newfound
treasure for this school and asking me if I was mummys
little treasure? in front of everyone. A situation cannot get
any worse when the teacher is the one to publicly belittle
you in front of thirty blood thirsty adolescent peers.
If all that wasnt enough to make life at my new school
unbearable at least I had the one saving grace of starting
with a blank slate. I go in fresh and be able to project
myself the way I wanted and retain the things that people
might interpret negatively. But, as it happened before I

even got to the school the guys from the most influential
social group in my school knew all the bad things about me
and had a bad opinion of me. I never had a chance from day
My parents had an old social network in the city we were
moving to and in that social network were parents of kids
going to my school. Of that network my parents strongest
social contact was with the parents of the most popular guy
in school and the most successful athlete. So, with
awesome initiative and awesome intentions (and I do mean
that) they set out to organise for me to meet some of the
guys from my school before I went there so I would have
some friends to start off with. In theory, a perfectly good
But a play date that is organised by parents for two
thirteen year old boys was never going to be a cool thing.
Imagine being the coolest kid in school and being told that
you have to go and hang out with a random stranger you
have very little in common with. A stranger who is vastly
less mature than you. No thirteen year old will be
enthusiastic about that. Combining the cool guys generally
negative disposition, my negative disposition towards
moving cites, my insecurity and neediness that I sucked out
of him and the entire homosexuality of a thirteen year old
pay date all culminated in the result of me making a very
bad impression. This guy even played in my cricket team
when I started at school. The guy told everyone at the new
school about me and how gay the whole situation was and


gave me a well known bad name before I even got to the

I cant blame my parents for acting out of good intentions
and trying to help me out. I cant blame the guy for not
wanting to be my boyfriend as organised by my parents,
especially when it was so forced and I sucked so hard at the
time. I cant blame myself for being a fucking victim bitch
at the time because I didnt know any other reality. And
anyway, I was getting a stronger and stronger why me,
lifes not fair, Im so poorly done by reality every day.
By now I was a seasoned bitch. Life from the point of the
move was always going to drastically set me off on a
fucked up course in life.
Even though intentions were good it didnt change the fact
that I had a fucked up life on a day to day basis. Nothing to
hope for and that same desperation being shoved back into
my face repeatedly. I had the shit kicked out of my
enthusiasm for being alive.
In summary, at the time I had been pulled out of a perfect
situation socially and academically where I had friends and
I could get to university. Then I was dropped into a hovel
of a school, where people didnt like where I came from. I
had bad social skills to start with so I couldnt break into a
clique which was intensified by one of the most influential
people in the grade tarnishing my name before I even got
there. My two best traits, academia and football, the things
I identified with, were taken from me. I had no friends, no
sense of self, nothing good going for me, I was getting
fatter, getting intense acne and being injured daily. And I

had pretty much never spoken to a girl, but I would have

never even thought that possible coming from my mindset.
In hindsight, all of this was my fault. My lack of initiative
and responsibility was my fault. But no one told me that at
the time. Those sorts of ideas were beyond my
So, the first year at that school was a very dark time. In a
time where I wanted someone to care, no one did. Instead I
was belittled and antagonised. I spent lunch times sitting on
my own. I tried to study at lunch times but I couldnt cope
with the work I was doing. So I walked around on my own
or sat on my own reading. People pitted me in fights
against other students which meant new lows for me and a
bruised skull. I started cutting my arms, carving words like
fuck or suicide into the backs of my arms. I tried
playing new sports but I was very bad due to inexperience.
Especially in rugby where it was a physical free-for-all that
I wasnt built for. I was a very lost kid at that time.
About three quarters of the way through that first year at
the school I was riding a bus home sitting on my own. A
little kid started talking to me. He was about eight years old
I think. He told me he lived near my house and that he had
a sister who is pretty. He gave me her email address and I
added her on online messenger. That night I met up with
her and her friends at her house. That is where I met the girl
that would give me direction for the next six years in my
life. The first girl I wrote about in my leverage story.


From this meeting did come some sort of a social life. After
having no one else to talk about and no other hobbies to
engage in this girl became the centre of my world because
my world was empty.
I spent countless teenaged Saturday nights sitting on online
messenger or just wandering aimlessly through my house.
While I wondered around the house my parents would even
ask me why I wasnt out partying or at least hanging out
with people. Because of the patterns I had become so
routine I looked at everyone else as above me. Due to the
intense repetition of bad social experiences I developed a
very strong reality of I am lesser than other people and it
inevitably became a self fulfilling prophecy that people
would think they are above me. Exactly where my strong
reality had put them.
While this was ultimately a value taking disposition it made
me humble. About three quarters of the way into my first
year I had taken so many beatings and taken so many
verbal abusing that I simply ceased to give a fuck anymore.
I distinctly remember dreading going into English class one
day where I would take the majority of my beatings and
verbal abuse but I just didnt have any heart left to defend
myself or even care. It was like I wanted to be hurt. I just
embraced what I was for the first time. Nothing. Little did I
know it at the time, but when I embraced the identity of
nothing I became inherently cool. When I stopped
defending myself, when I stopped caring, when I felt no
more anxiety, I stopped projecting the mummys boy
reality and I became cool.

In hindsight I can so clearly understand why I had such a

torrid life a teenager. Perception is projection. I validated
the negative attention I drew on myself, I expected to be
hated on, I was sorry for who I was and what I did. Given
the excessive headspace I had developed from having no
friends my perceptions grew into a strong and influential
reality. An influential reality that begged people to hate and
disrespect me. A reality that begged people to think I had a
reason to be sorry for myself. I had built a strong and
influential reality that assumed that people wouldnt like
me. So they didnt.
When I embraced that I was nothing it was a temporary fix.
I stopped expecting negative attention, so I stopped getting
negative attention. But I could only have achieved this after
hitting rock bottom midway through that first year. The
human psyches self corrects. If you are too low you cease
to care and begin to offer value again, if you are too high
your ego is venerable to bruising and you become humble
That day in English class was the first of a few events that
would see me develop some friends and a social circle.
This time though I had been through events that put me into
a headspace where I viewed any social success as a bonus. I
had also made harmony with the fact that at any minute I
could be alone again. Having lived so much of my life in
perceived social isolation and living so long perceiving
myself as being worthless I had come into harmony with
these ideas. I no longer projected the I suck ego, I just
didnt care about anything. I was cool. For a while.

Hitting this point of absolute indifference would sow the

seed of recklessness that would inspire the many, many
stupid, risky and self destructive things that would become
a staple of my future everyday existence.
In this indifferent mindset at the time I was more relaxed
and willing to take risks. I had the life purpose of making
the girl I met my girlfriend. And to my great joy, after
rugby season was over there was an Australian Rules
season at school. I played in the A team and contributed a
lot. Being a very sports oriented school this won me some
respect. So I generally conducted myself with a positive
and indifferent demeanour. Positivity attracts positivity.
Taking the bus home one day I realised that every day I
was travelling to school with a guy who I played in the A
cricket team with. He was also playing in the A football
team with me at the time so we started talking shit on the
way to and from school. Since I started school ten months
earlier my bad reputation had faded somewhat. Soon I went
over to their clique of four or five dudes where I was
welcomed with open arms.
The clique was a group of high achievers, the Brisbane
version of the Scotch Crew clique I had in Melbourne. Now,
again I had some friends, and for once in my life is was in a
happy and indifferent headspace where I offered plenty of
value. Two of the guys were South African and new to the
school as well. Compared to the shit I had endured for the
previous 10 month to have likeminded people to talk to,
even just to have someone to talk to, can put you on top of
the world.

Being on top of the world due to this was a bad thing. As a

guy who had a strong history of having his reality defined
by the external world these positive expectations grew
beyond my control. For a month or two everything was
good and fun. But I couldnt keep it up. It was kind of like
a honeymoon. This fun reality where I had friends wasnt
the me I had always known. After a few months I was back
on the downward spiral again. Two of the biggest self
sabotaging acts I performed were making fucked up jokes
at the expense of the guy who stuck his neck out an invited
me into his clique. I made a Jokes about his girlfriend and
his little sister. He didnt forgive me for a long time and
reminded me f what a bad dude I was. I had effectively
sabotaged a good situation. What was a taste of popularity
soon saw me cast aside in the group to the point where I
wouldnt participate, I would just hover around the group
and say nothing.
I realise in hindsight that I was so used to being rejected
and walked all over and excluded that when I did actually
get accepted and invited places my reality simply rejected it.
I remember feeling really uncomfortable just hanging out
and chatting with the crew. In situations where people just
relax and chill out I would do overt self sabotaging
attention seeking things. This reality snap back is a very
real thing for anyone coming from deeply ingrained
negative patterns and then all of a sudden finds themself to
be happy. This is a complete mind fuck to me today. I had
no chance of comprehending my extremely frustrating self
sabotaging behaviour back then when I was fifteen.


During my little social honeymoon period, before I

sabotaged myself, I had a chance to branch out and meet
lots of girls. The good thing about not playing by the rules
and confines of a particular clique is you are free to be
expressively manoeuvrable and socially versatile. When I
met girls at that age I was indifferent in life and carefree
because of it. At the same time I was unhealthily obsessed
with the girl I met when I was thirteen so I didnt care at all
about trying to impress these other girls. I made a lot of
female friends because I was a carefree, risk taking, self
destructive and emotionally extreme guy. They might have
thought I was unique, which would have been true, but
unique for the wrong reasons.
Whenever I met a girl I would almost instantly get into a
free flowing comfortable deep and meaningful
conversations about girl to guy dynamics. Because I had no
real prior exposure to girls, and no guys to tell me that girls
were out of my league I could talk honestly and openly to
any girl except the one I was obsessed with. I would talk
for hours on end to lots of girls about the girl I liked,
emotions, attraction theories, psychology and love. Chick
The girls who were fourteen and fifteen themselves loved
this. I was a heterosexual version of the classic hot girls
homosexual friend to them. Fuelled with passion I
couldnt stop talking about girls and emotion mechanics in
a constant mental struggle to try and figure out how to get
the girl I was obsessed with to like me. I still dedicated
massive headspace to thinking about the delicate intricacies

of relationship dynamics and because I always bought

drama on myself with self sabotaging and risky behaviours
I was always had interesting stories to tell.
My life between the age of fourteen and twenty-one was
lived though the medium of online messenger. Even now,
when I hear the alert noises from the very earliest versions
of the program it instantly throws me back into the lightless
mind-prison I used to slave to. I would spend hours after
school every night talking to any girl online about social
dynamics, gossip and my ongoing drama I had with the girl
I was obsessed with. I spent more than five years talking
about social dynamics online with hundreds of girls for
hours at a time.
I gained a better understanding of social dynamics from
those thousands of conversations than more people learn in
a life time. I still have many of the developmentally pivotal
conversations of my life printed and stored safely in my
house. But from all these understandings I gained from
spending so much time thinking about the topic, as
thorough understanding as they were, it was still just an
understanding. It wasnt experience.
Once I had made a compounding network of female friends
that I could talk to online my lack of social popularity in
the real world was displaced. I didnt really have any guy
friends in the real world but it didnt matter. I rode buses to
school with girls, wrote emails to girls at school at
lunchtime, I chatted to them online while I was at school,
rode the bus home with girls then spent hours talking to
them online at night. I would add their friends and chat to

them as well. There is a handful of girls who played a

massive part in helping me survive my self-inflicted
agonising teenaged life.
Meanwhile my academic life was back on track. The
second year at my new school was the first of my two
senior years so I got to choose specialised subjects. Unlike
the year before where classes were a continuation from the
years I missed before. Now I could keep up with school
work and I actually enjoyed my classes. They were biology,
physical education (gym class), IT, and BusinessTechnology. A bit of everything but biology was clearly
my favourite.
Due to my abysmal academic results and general self hate
the year before, my dad had laid out an incentive for hard
work that would be measured in terms of the grades I
scored in the next semester. Regaining my love of
academia with my selected classes and having burnt my
social bridges with guys at school (except for a few) I was
again right back into high achiever mode.
The academic incentive was that if I could score all B
grades in five subjects then my dad would spend $1,000 on
audio equipment for me. After kicking some ass, I got the
grades. In 2001 Dad took me down to cash converters (a
pawn broker) and bought me two concert grade duel 14
inch cone stage speakers. I still have them today. They are
so powerful they can be heard from more than five
kilometres away on a clear night.


During the times I was speaking to girls online I would be

running Napster and limewire collecting thousands of
MP3s. I would trade collections via external drives with
friends. At the time I was awarded the speakers by my dad
I had collected about 11,000 of the hottest and coolest party
MP3s. All through the confusion of my high school times I
would always be thinking intensely, planning and scheming
because I didnt trust that I alone were enough to make
friends. I was hatching a master plan to gain instant and
elite social status at my school.
The clique I was hanging out with broke apart, the guys
who were left in it didnt respect me which I deserved. So,
at lunch time I would just go to where we sat and sit quietly
thinking intensely to myself all the time scared to talk. I
feared being shot down for saying something stupid and
getting myself kicked out of remnants of the group. I didnt
go out on Saturday nights, and besides my one bus friend
Reubs I didnt have any life except for talking to girls
online at night about the girl I was obsessed with.
Even though I had low self worth for most of my life, very
limited social experience and had done bad damage to my
status I planned to become the coolest person in the school.
I had a brain and I was scheming with it.
With my computer and stage speakers I decided I was
going to host the party to end all parties. I was the kid at
school who had no friends who decided to throw parties to
make friends. At the time I hated my parents and naively
blamed my lack of girlfriend and lack of friends on them
and adopted a passive aggressive mindset towards them. I

convinced my parents to have a party. They didnt know

the possible damage and destruction that can happen to a
house under siege by hundreds of drunken hormonal
I didnt care what happened to the house because I didnt
give a fuck about anything and I hated myself and my
family at the time. It would be cool being the host of the
party because that way people would have to be my friends.
But more importantly I thought if I created a situation
where the girl I obsessed over saw me as the guy to know
at a party I would finally get the girl.
For people that age house parties are a scarce and valuable
event. At the point of announcement I had people coming
up to me at school that I didnt even know introducing
themselves and being friendly. This was cool I thought. I
was giving value to people. By this stage I was so
convinced that people didnt like me that I stopped trying to
manage it. I knew that I couldnt trust anyone or expect
anything back from people for anything generous I did for
them. So I shifted my energies towards constructive
voluntary things like throwing parties. With this came an
exciting and new sense of intense satisfaction. I didnt have
anything to show for doing generous things. But more
importantly I had a satisfaction that I had never known
when I did something cool for other people.
These voluntary efforts grew from this point onwards. I
worked on the school dance committee, did charity work,
wrote for the school magazine and did excessive volunteer


coaching. I got nothing from these things except the

satisfaction of adding value to others lives.
So with my speakers, the empty estate surrounding my
parents house and more than 200 drunken hormonal
teenagers I threw an awesome party. I was the guy to know
that night, nothing serious was wrecked but we had a five
dollar cover charge to cover damages. I was actually the it
guy at the party and it was awesome. I went from nothing
to everything on that night. It was a perfect situation that
felt right. I wasnt trying to fit in anywhere, I was just
doing something good and having fun.
Only thing was, the girl I was obsessed with didnt come.
Her friends came. She didnt come.
Her absence drove me even crazier. After that party I
realised that I would need to become even more popular if I
was going to win her heart. So I took a number of actions. I
volunteered to mobilize my audio equipment so I would get
invited to every party in the role of DJ. This happened
and over the next two years of high school I took
responsibility for the music at almost every party I went to.
Co-incidentally I was only getting invited to parties I was
doing the music for. The girl I was obsessed with never
once came to any of these parties.
I started to learn poetry to write and send to the girl I was
obsessed with. I didnt ever actually send her any, I would
just harass her with excessive emails. But I did send her
flowers on various occasions in true Walt Disney style. At
the parties I would go to and online I would make close

friends with her friends. Her friends knew me as an openly

confident guy who was at all the parties where I was
responsible for the music. But this good impression never
rubbed off onto the girl I was obsessed with. All the failed
efforts only made me crazier and crazier about her. It made
me think more about how to get her. The more I loved this
girl, or the idea of cherishing her tenderly in the night, the
more I cared less about the other girls swirling around at
the parties I went to.
So on weekends I found myself in an interesting situation.
It go to the point where it was just assumed that I would
bring the music to the parties I went to so I was almost
always the DJ when I was at a party. I was getting to know
everyone online and at the parties on the weekend and
getting a reputation of a nice guy because I talked to all the
girls about the girl I was obsessed with. I didnt exactly
have a solid group of friends so I wasnt socially stifled by
the standards of a clique which left me without anyone to
impress or answer to.
So when girls met me at these parties, I would be talking to
everyone and socially proofed through the roof, they would
have heard about me from word of mouth from their friends
I talked to online (and a memorable last name), in very
good physical shape from lack-of-social-life-excessivegym-time, comfortable in the environment having been the
first one to get to the party, emotionally indifferent to the
new girls I met and indifferent to how attractive they were.
When I was young and sober I had no confidence because I
over analysed and second guessed everything. My

discovery of alcohol was the ignition of immaculate state

and the conception of nimbus.
I started getting paid to bring my music to the parties.
Another privilege I got was free alcohol all night from the
hosts. Drunk and in a position of authority and contextual
status I found myself surrounded by scorching hot, drunken
teenaged private school girls who knew me but whom I had
never met. They would come and sit on my lap and do
attention seeking things. It never crossed my mind that girls
were on a pedestal, except for my unobtainable one-gina
infliction obsession girl. To me, having friends was on a
So for me I saw no reason why I couldnt just kiss these hot
girls that were talking to me. We were both horny, I knew
that girls got horny because other girls told me these things
on the internet. So I didnt sit around waiting for the girls to
ask me to make a move, I just made a move. When I was
drunk I would just instinctively take girls by the hand and
lead them down to a dark part of the paddock and lie down
on the grass with them and hook up.
I remember keeping a track of all the girls I kissed in my
second last year of school. I think it was about 55 which is
plenty for any guy that age. There would be a lot of second
base or third base situations going on but I didnt think to
actually have sex with any girl because I wanted my first
time to be special with obsession girl. There were a lot of
girls I would hook up with me in the paddock grass but I
would leave them with an unfortunate and painful case of
the blue cunt.

As we began to get older the girls started to make a move

on me. This would often mean that the girls would just tell
me to make a move. I remember my first foray into sex was
at a party with a stunningly hot and popular brunette girl
who looked somewhat like Natalie Portman. I was running
around nimbusing talking to all the girls I knew from the
internet. Ultra spontaneous, drunk to the point of numbness
and on a collision course either passing out or hurting
myself from hazardous behaviour.
I found myself dancing with the drunk babe outside
somewhere when she told me her name. I realised it was
the same name as the singer of the song so it was
justification enough for me to engage my automatic
response to these things and lead her into the woods for
some second base times. The woods were not grassy, it
was a dust bowl. Ah well, I couldnt feel anything nor did I
care. So I laid her down in the dust and we started hooking
up. She was very enthusiastic.
Soon we were completely naked laying in the lumpy dust
bowl. I didnt know anything about sex and I though the
vagina was somewhere at the front of the body so I didnt
go there. Seductively the girl told me that it was ok and
that she was on the pill. So I started a deep sea exploration
mission of wetness and dust with the teenaged babe. My
naked body was starting to hurt really badly by this stage
and I felt like my skin was crawling. I think I did officially
have sex with the girl, but I think it was by her doing, I
didnt know what was going on, but I was amused by the


situation. I was confused however as to why my whole

body stung and why I felt like my skin was crawling.
Soon the lights came on in the distance and the music
stopped. The police had called a halt to the party and we
had to find out way home. With the lights on I could now
see the girl properly and I realised how pretty she was and
how good her body was. I though, Im going to tell
everyone about this and then ask them why its hurts so
As we crawled out of the dirt, sweaty and covered in grime
I realised the we had laid down on top of a black ants nest.
I had welts all over my naked body and my skin was
crawling with ants the size of quarters. I freaked out and
ran to the ice bin for ice and more soothing beer. As my
drunkenness wore off the agony kicked in. Over the course
of my last year at high school there might have been about
eight more instances like this. With no one else to hang out
with, I would talk to girls at parties and these sorts of things
would happen.
But still, I hated it because none of them were the girl I
loved and was obsessed with.
I became a manwhore. I didnt care about the girls I hooked
up with. But I continued to hook up with random girls for
two reasons. One, I thought that guys would think Im cool
if I hooked up with lots of girls, which didnt happen. And
two, I thought that if my obsession girl heard about me
kissing all these girls that she went to school with then she
would get jealous and think I was attractive. This has some

influence over my obsession girl but as soon as she asked

me about the girls she could clearly tell that I was still
madly obsessed with her and kissing them to try and
impress her that Im cool. Nevertheless I gathered a lot of
experience getting drunk and hooking up with girls. I didnt
ever have a girlfriend because I wasnt actually a cool guy,
so I would just get lots of practise and proficiency at the
meeting and hooking up bit.
So this was my lifestyle going into my senior school year.
Parties on weekends and by now I was even getting invited
to other parties because I was just on the scene which was
kinda cool. I played lots of sport to ensure that I had people
around me to compensate for a lack of friends. Sport was
also a good way to get myself into shape so I would think
that the girls would think I was hot. By keeping busy with
sport I didnt have a chance to face my lack in social
confidence and people skills. The rest of the time I was
kept busy with senior school academic workload.
While things were going pretty well at the start of the year
a few monumentally bad things happened that that
tarnished my name so badly that it caused in terrible social
repercussions. One night at a party I went early as always
to set up my computer and speakers. Then we all had some
aspirin to thin our blood to get us more drunk. Then I drank
a shitload of rum and fell down some stairs. Vomiting and
bleeding everywhere my friends got me naked and threw
me into a shower. I missed an awesome party and was
paranoid that the guys would hate me for having to look


after me all night. Of course me expecting them to hate me

for it fulfilled itself and they thought very little of me for it.
One weekend my South African friends parents were
overseas leaving him with a mansion of a house to himself
for the weekend. He decided to throw a massive party. This
party was going to be a huge event. It was going to be the
balls-out party of the year. He was a rich guy, there would
be hundreds of people and alcohol everywhere. It was one
of the most anticipated events of the year drawing great
hype from our school and all the other schools involved.
At the time I was seventeen years old. But I still had a
curfew of midnight ad my parents would always ring the
parents of the host of the party to make sure it was ok if I
came. Of course when they rang the parents of my friend
his parents found out that he was going to have a party and
they went berserk at him. He then took that out on me.
Which I thought I deserved, so I accepted that I was a piece
of shit for my dad making the phone call.
When the party was cancelled there were a whole lot of
people calling around and telling each other that I had
ruined the party of the year. While its responsible parenting
to make those sorts of calls it was delusional to think that it
was the right thing to do given the irreparable social
repercussions it had on me.
I wrote an anonymous chain email publicly abusing the
bitchiest and prissiest girls in our social network. I did this
because I thought I could have a Dawsons Creek style
relationship with a girl who lived in my street but she shot

me down badly. It was a hilarious email and everyone who

read it agreed. Though they werent sure that I wrote it I
got the blame for it and they proceeded to make an even
bigger effort to ruin my reputation than my chain email
messed with their reputations. Months later the same girl
who had turned me down had a dead possum carcass nailed
crucifix style to her front gate by someone else. At least I
wasnt the only one retaliating to her egocentric ways.
One night at a school dance I got wasted drunk and got
emotional. I was going around telling people about my
insecurities while they were sober. Enough said.
But the worst thing was a scandal where a group of us
effectively dobbed in one of the guys in our clique to the
heads of school. This devious act resulted in the victim of
our backstabbing getting into massive trouble with the
school. When it was discovered that I was involved it
incurred massive social backlash and hatred.
The whole scandal thing started one night when I was at
my bus friends house. In our clique at the time there was
maybe seven guys. One of which was getting massively
bullied by another guy in our group. This same guy doing
the bullying was also planning to meet up with my bus
friends girlfriend in the Myer change rooms so she could
suck his dick to spite my bus friend. Furthermore he had
stolen one of the teachers network passwords giving him
access to students records where he could do things like
manipulate grade scores.


That night at my friends house another guy in our group

told my bus friend that he was getting sick of the bullshit
that this bully was pulling. He suggested to my friend that
they two of them, and the main target of this guys bullying
should go and report all this drama to the heads of school.
This was a pretty righteous, and honourable thing to
voluntarily do, especially if those guys got caught. But it
was at a time when the very prestigious school leadership
group was about to be elected by the students and teachers
of the school. Besides helping out the bully, they had extra
motivation to be seen as upstanding citizens of the school.
Because I was also getting negative attention from the bully
and I was witness to the conversation I couldnt avoid
getting involved with the backstabbing scandal. Not that I
would have wanted to avoid doing something eventful like
that at the time.
So we went to see the school councillor, the deputy
headmaster and the teachers of the bully and his target. Of
course the school took this extremely seriously. The guy
who was the target of the bully had a hard life at that school.
People would kick him, yell abuse at his face and make his
life a living hell. I never thought I could be a part of the
schools leadership group. I knew what that guy was going
through and I felt or him. I wanted to help him and do a
good thing, I wouldnt get anything else from being
involved in the situation, but the two other guys went on to
become the school leaders they wanted to be.
After we spoke to the teachers the bully got a massive
punishment and was denied the chance to become a leader

of the school which was a really big deal at the time. When
the teachers spoke to him they told him all the things they
knew he had done. He realised instantly that someone had
dobbed him in, and not just the guy on the receiving end of
his belittling. They never suspected me because I didnt
have anything against the bully except that he spoke down
to me, which a lot of people did. The others werent
suspected either because they had plenty of social integrity.
He got punished by the school and so did a few others. But
they had no idea who had talked and backstabbed everyone
by going to the staff. I was part of the immediate discussion
about the fucked up things those convicted guys were going
to those who were responsible for dobbing them in.
Even though we stuck our necks out for this guy he ended
up changing schools anyway. He was just that miserable
and I really felt for him. In his darkest hours I would hang
out with him and stay at his house so he would have
company. I was there for him and helped him morally
wherever I could. My fragile reputation was tarnished even
further just for spending time with him.
After he left the school he still had contact with everyone
via online messenger. A few months after he left school he
went online and told everyone that it was me who dobbed
in the bully. Even after I was there for him when he was
depressive and suicidal. To add insult to insult he even
dated and hooked up with the girl I was obsessed with just
to spite me. He told me how she sucked his dick, but she
told me that when she did he couldnt get a boner. What a

This was so shocking to me that I couldnt even

comprehend it. I wasnt even angered by the situation, just
upset about people as a whole. After that incident, and dad
calling the parents of former friend having the party and the
whole backstabbing the bully to the teachers of the school I
lost all trust in all people. I still didnt trust myself. But I
never made the mistake of trusting people again.
The fuckhead thought that because he changed school he
could talk shit online and not have to worry about anything.
Because he had launched an offensive on some of the thugs
of the school they came after him. From what I hear from
girls he knows hes bought a lot onto himself from those
Towards the end of my school year I had again bought
myself down with repeated stupidity and self sabotaging
behaviours. To make matters worse, academically I was
never going to come close to getting into the course I
wanted. But one day the university came to the school to
offer students the opportunity to study one university
course while they were still at school. If you could pass that
course you would get instant entry into the prestigious
psychology course at the cities most prestigious university.
I thought of myself so lucky to have an opportunity like
this after being fucked over so badly when I moved to my
new school from my old school. So I jumped at the chance
to take up the offer and organised for my parents to come to
school to authorise my commitment. When they got there
and we discussed this with the school for some reason they
thought that I shouldnt take this opportunity but instead

continue with my studies from school and try and get the
unobtainable university entry score I needed to get into that
I still dont know why they thought it was the right thing to
do to deny me a golden opportunity to do what I always
wanted to do. Of course because I had no faith in myself so
I didnt question them. I continued to be academically
In my final year of school I thought I had an ok social life
because of the DJ thing and I always had people around me
because I played every sport I could possibly fit into my
schedule. But I still wasnt any closer to getting the girl I
was still obsessed with.
There were a couple of harsh occasions when my social
isolation and ineptitude was bought out from beyond my
blindspots and shoved into my face. Times when I had to
face the fact that people didnt like me. On the night of our
formal (prom) the group of guys I hung with at lunch time
went ahead and organised a table without me. Leaving me
and my partner, the girl I was obsessed with, with no one to
sit with. We ended up sitting with one of her friends who
was going with a guy from school.
I didnt get invited to the formal after party which is like
the party at the lake after the prom. The others guys from
the group I hung out with were invited except for myself.
So I organised to throw a massive party the week before the
formal to give myself leverage to ask for an invitation to
the formal afterparty. With some bribing and persistence I

got two expensive tickets to the afterparty. But then, my

obsession girl left me half way through the night to go
home. I went alone to the party and passed out in the dirt
after drinking myself unconscious.
On the last ever day of school everyone had plans to go
drinking, or dye their hair for the holidays or go to the
beach and party or whatever. I had no plans and no
invitations. I just went home on my own on the last day of
school. On that occasion I remember I think I cried.
And to round out the Australian high school experience we
have schoolies. Schoolies is a festival where tens of
thousands of high school graduates go to the Gold Coast to
celebrate finishing school, get drunk, party and have sex all
week. The guys in my group all organised their room and
didnt even tell me what their plans were going to be so I
wouldnt stay in the same building as them. They made an
effort to neglect me.
In the end another guy and I stayed with some guys who we
hardly knew with very different values to us. One of them
even stole my extremely expensive minidisc player.
Everyone else spent the week partying in their buildings
with their friends and hooking up with girls, having sex and
getting drunk. My friend and I just chilled a bit, got drunk
in the room on our own and failed miserably trying to hook
up with girls. Oh, but I did sleep with a fat white trash
bogan. I freaked out half way through the experience and
ran out of the room leaving the condom in someones
packed clothes dryer.


What should have been the best week of my life was a

fitting anti-climax to my school life.
Soon afterwards I got my university exist score in the mail.
It was considerably worse than what I had expected
because of the initial lag in grades when I changed schools.
Had I have taken the opportunity the university provided it
wouldnt have mattered and I would have got straight into
the course I always dreamt of. My score was 40% lower
than what I needed to get into my course.
Receiving my school exist score bought down the curtain
on the horror show that was the nurturing cradle of the
impressionable span of my young life.
The patterns were inescapable. I was what I was.
I endured school belittled. I started the real world less.

To be continued.




BY Alexander~ | February 4th, 2009 at 9:24 PM

Deal Breakers
Some say that looks dont matter, and this is pretty accurate.
There is one caveat, though. Looks dont matter only if
your game is good.
But, when this sort of advice is dealt out with military
authority, it is assumed that you are basically socially
That is to say, you dont kidnap women and hide them in a
hole in your basement. You dont give them the it rubs the
lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
If you are just taking your first tentative steps out into a bar
after reading some www.alexattitude.com inner game
advice, you need to know the basics. Coaches spend so
much time on the deeper and more fascinating issues that
we rarely bother to pay attention to the absolute
fundamentals that can leave some guys pants down in the
bar embarrassed, not delighted.
It must be frustrating as a new guy to open set after set, be
relatively normal, but get smashed to smithereens by the
girls around you. If your reppin RSDN and some of these
failed interactions are dictated by actual mingers, it can be
straight out insulting and demoralizing.
I get a plethora of guys on bootcamp who have seen all of

our products, smoked Tylers hair rolled up in pages of the

Blueprint, and still manage to get blown out. Technically
they are perfect, but when they approach, they inject pure
disgust into the women they talk to.
Basically, these guys need to clean themselves up.
They take a shower, whiten their teeth and wear some
deodorant... and poof, like some kind of wisdom-wizardry,
they can all of a sudden get the girls.
Its a bit of the old ivory tower syndrome; all fountain pen
with no gang land experience.
A basic rule of thumb, if you want to get mathematical, is
to ensure that you dont stray more than two standard
deviations away from the societal norm.
Pay attention to whats going on around you and add your
own expression to it.
Remember if the way you present your self doesnt gel with
the girls reality, youre simply not going to be wearing the
dentists apron that night; you shall be giving no fillings.
Elaborated, as awesome as your top hat may be, or as
pungent as your cow-hoof earrings are, they just doesnt
have a place at the bar.
So, read Maxim magazine, check out FHM, go to the bar
and pay attention. Look in the mirror, if you look too


Bollywood or feel Adams Familyish, its time to change it


On a more biological level, there are treatments for almost

any kind of puss, mucus, flakes, odours, hairs, parasites or
gremlins climbing out of your ears that you may have. have.
Though, if you are suffering from baby that means you
are pregnant, I cant help you.
If you step to the girl with snow capped shoulders, you
could be a rock star and still fritter away any chance you
ever had playing flesh darts.
If you have acne, there are hundreds of thorough and safe
treatments; some are external and some are internal.
Though, this is most easily avoided by not ever touching
your dial and ensuring you eat well, consistently.
Personally, I used ProActive to go from a Chicago pizza to

an aspiring Calvin Klein Model.

If you have body odour, take a fucking shower; soap is a
bonus. Using said soap is an added bonus.
If you have fucked up teeth, get yourself fixed up. To be
honest, if you dont have ivory hunters following you
around, prodding a rifle up your ass, then you probably
have some progress to make. With good teeth comes good
breath, but carry around gum anyway. This you can offer to
girls as an opener to the tune of, want some gum?
All of this is well and good, but remember if your game is
super tight, none of this even remotely matters
In summary, the point Im making is that if your shit isnt
yet good enough transcend body odour, dandruff, seeping
body fluids and mythological creatures playing in your hair,
some simple drug store times can be the difference between
making the wrong impression and getting to split the pink.
Importantly you will disassociate with negative anchors
from the past, like a submarine.
**teeth gleam**
Clean times.


The Ancient Era of Outer Game

Friday, February 6th, 2009
The Ancient Era of Outer Game.
PrefaceA Warning.
In recent times I have been fingers deep in some in depth
inner game articles so I thought to myself, Alexander, its
time for a change of scenery. Lets talk about the process.
Lets talk outer game.
Outer game itself is the verbal structures of the interaction.
It is the knowledge of the social world and things that you
might need to say or do to better your success with women.
In the early days of The Game, guys would manipulate
the structures of social interactions in order to figure out
how to get girls. This made sense logically, but as Real
Social Dynamics got more and more field experience we
realised that we were looking at the wrong channels. Inner
game was the foundation of good game; outer game was
just the logistical facilitator.
Our focus shifted to natural game; transforming yourself
into a naturally attractive guy and coming into alignment
with the man you are meant to be.
And this is where real success will come from. But, you
need some moves on top of tight inner game and elite
congruence to make the best of any interaction. This is
often neglected by guys who go all out with the pure
natural game branch of knowledge. If congruence with

yourself is 80% of your success then outer game is 10% of

your success. The rest is in field intuition (or knowledge of
the matrix, but that goes hand in hand with personal growth
through social exposure and experience).
Remember, outer game is an expression of your naturally
attractive self. Not a compensation for it. In the early days
all that we knew was outer game, so people would learn it
and quickly bury any remnants of the natural self that they
used to be. Some still fall into this trap. You are not your
moves; rather your moves are an expression of yourself.
They are handy tools to have at your disposal in times
when in-field manoeuvrability and versatility will make the
difference between having sex with someone else or
At the same time, if you take the moves too seriously, if
you identify with them, then you can become bound to
them. If you live off plans and you encounter a situation
where you dont have a pre-planned contingency, then you
are left high and dry not knowing which way to turn or
what script to deliver. Knowledge of moves brings with it
the risk of turning a free flowing intuitive and present
headspace into a headspace that executes if: then ASCII
computer code.
Outer game is very good for a guy who just wants to get
into field and get started. He will soon realise that the
moves are not the be all and end all, but they do give you
an advantage. When I teach outer game or moves its a case
of me passing on my intuition and experience for others to
instantly implement. While this information has taken years

for the crme of the crop of Real Social Dynamics to find

and verify the knowledge of these moves are insignificant
compared to what we know about inner game and personal
What some people will charge you thousands of dollars to
learn in seminars or DVDs is here for you for free. Why?
So my bootcamp students have a good knowledge of some
moves to compliment the inner game and personal growth
experiences that can only be taught in person on bootcamp.
How does Outer Game Fit In With RSD curriculum.
A = HV + E. To inspire attraction in a woman you need
to come from a place of higher value and be her source of a
full range of emotions. The more emotional stimulus you
can provide for a girl the more attracted to you she is going
to be. This is where the infinity behind the E comes into
play. Most guys only start a conversation and talk to the
girl for a minute or maybe two until which time she gets
nervous and doesnt know what to say and he runs away.
Or the guy forgets he was born with a nut-sack and sulks
away to look at porno on his blackberry.
Knowledge of outer game structure can give you enough
conversational ammunition to communicate long enough to
begin to arouse the girl that you are talking to. This is
called chatting up girls. Talk to a girl long enough that you
get into a conversational groove, convey a full range of
emotions. Come from a place of self expression, not girlimpression, for long enough and you will surely inspire

To get the expression not impression principles check out

these articles:
Who Are You, A = HV + E, The Golden Rule, Identity
Level Change.
If you have outer game but no inner game, you will inspire
a range of emotions in a woman but still be trying to
impress her. Attraction is not satisfied. At the same time,
you could be the most internally centred, coolest, decorated
war hero, but if you dont interact with the woman then she
wont be emotionally aroused by you. Attraction isnt
satisfied. There needs to be a combination of arousal
inspired by you and value conveyed to the girl. Talking to
the girl coming from a place of higher value combined with
an expression of yourself. The more you do this, the more
the girls is going to like you, the better you are going to be
at meeting new girls from cold approaches.
In terms of the learning curve of game, outer game is the
facilitator of experience for a guy who is oblivious to
emotional communication. If a guy has never ever done a
cold approach then he will have no idea that girls
communicate emotionally. But he will only begin to realise
that fact once he starts interacting with girls. If a guy were
to try and start communicating with girls right off the bat
then he would be lost at sea. It would be like me trying to
speak Portuguese. I have no idea. An intermediate
facilitator of that language will pave the way for me to get
an intuitive and manoeuvrable understanding of a foreign


Or, you could think of outer game like being consciously

competent at game where most guys are consciously
incompetent. Once you are totally consciously competent at
the outer game stuff you can transcend it, and become
unconsciously competent at it. You make the shift from
lower value communication to higher value communication
and attraction is satisfied. But you need the conscious
implementation to catapult from conscious incompetence
(no idea) to unconscious competence (mastery).
On an elite level, when the coaches do things like palm
reading, iridology and qualification its a case of adding
immaculate field tested outer game moves to an existing
immaculate internally centred self. Metaphorically it would
be like taking chuck Norris and giving him James Bonds
car and gadgetry enough said. Amongst coaches we dont
like to used these things because we feel morally bad, as
though it is unfair or something. We know the effect it has
so its probably immoral to use. But that is ultimately your
subjective judgment. Its not a moral issue if you dont
know what to expect from implemented tried and tested
moves. Its your own experimentation process to gain a
sound understanding of the fluid workings of the social
Basically outer game is the extended expression of yourself.
As Jeffy would say, they are the spices on the steak. Its a
potent thing, but if you use too much you are going to be in
all sorts of trouble. So, without further ado, use at your own


The Found Structure Behind Historically Good

In any good interaction (natural or structured) the following
elements will happen in basically this linear order:
Pre open.
Opener (three parts)
Group Theory
Value Inversion
Number close
End Game
(Remember that you are likely to encounter congruence
tests all the way through.)

In one case you would get a number that would a very solid
with a low chance of flaking. In the other case you would
follow the interaction all the way through to taking the girl
In understanding all of these steps, or even just
understanding that they exist, it gives you something to do
with CONVICTION. A lot of guys have a great personality
and very good inner game, but no vehicle by which to
express it. Let these steps be that vehicle. When you act
with conviction you inspire richer emotions in the girls you
interact with. When you act with conviction you behave in
a way that is unstifled and you communicate to the girl that
you are following your own intentions. She will categorize
you quickly as an alpha male and attraction will soon
Each and every step in the process has a place and purpose.
I see so many of my students execute so much of the chain
properly but neglect one important link that brings
everything undone.
Pre Opener
Of course the opener is the first point of contact. But the
girl will have a sense of who you are and how you feel
before you even get to her. So take responsibility for that.
Get yourself into state, do some warm ups, take some dares
and get yourself into a deluded, somewhat thoughtless state
of mind.


When you do begin the verbal part of the interaction realise

that its not going to be a short sharp thing. When you open
the set expect that you are going to be there for a minimum
of ten minutes. Embrace the interaction for the sake of the
interaction; dont reach straight for her box.
The Opener, Part One.
The good old fashioned false time constraint is as valid as it
has always been. This serves the purpose of disarming the
girls immediately and will help set the frame that the girls
are going to game you. The false time constraint doesnt
need to be elaborate, just communicate that you arent there
to set up camp. I can think of ten examples of a good false
time constraints but hey, one sec is more than enough to
serve the purpose you are trying to achieve.
The Opener, Part Two
With the opener itself, there is any number of ways that you
can start the conversation. Most of the openers that you
have read unique or mainstream can work as you long
as realise its not the opener thats going to get the girl, its
just the preliminary means by which to get the conversation
rolling. Think statements, opinion openers, basic questions,
observations, cold reads, deliberate illogicality, hook
questions, saving the girl from creeps or simply introducing
The Opener, Part Three
But that is just the main part of the opener after the false
time constraint. This will usually get the girls intrigued or

sceptical about you and have them volunteering a response

to you. Usually the response isnt going to be her dropping
to her knees and worshipping your dangle. After she
responds to the way you initiate the conversation you need
to respond to her by communicating a different emotion
from the one you initially did.
You: Hey, one sec. My name is Alex. I dont usually see
you at this place
Her: Uh, maybe thats because youre blind.
You: Oh, no, thats probably because you are that girl who
is always hanging out in the cloak room with the promo
guys. I heard about you!
You have gone from nice guy to challenging guy and
passed a congruence test. A = HV + E, attractive frame.
You: Hey, one sec. My name is Tim. I had to meet you.
Her (nervously): Oh, hi Tim!
You: Oh shit, you dont have a name. Maybe you were not
the girl I was supposed to meet.
Push pull: the girl is reacting to you. The frame is set. A
good rule of thumb is: the frame you start with is the frame
you are stuck with.
One you have opened the conversation and you are onto the
second part of the opener this is where you show your

personality. With a good frame set, segue to the classic

conversation ratio where you talk 90% of the time and the
girl talks 10% of the time. At the beginning of the
interaction you can expect the girl to be shy or trying to
manage the impression she is making of you, so it is
important that you get the conversation rolling and give her
a chance to become involved with it.
A few good ways to do this is to go into a relevant story,
multiple threading, Tims pounding of passion where you
ask the girl several questions in quick succession or going
into plot lines and role playing. This is the part of the
interaction that usually happens between when you open
and when you hook. This is when it is important to plow
and beat congruence tests until you hook. Keep talking off
the opener until she has relaxed and is cool with you being
With some field experience and a good inner game this
should be pretty easily done. Basically just think of it as
having a conversation because thats what it is. If it gets
boring spice it up, if it gets out of control chill it out. You
control the rhythms of the interaction because you have a
more dominant frame and better knowledge of who you
than others knowledge of who they are.
Group Theory
One of the biggest pitfalls in most interactions is the friends
of the girl, or her peer group. A group of girls state is
interdependent; if you go taking one away from the group
then you mess up all of their states and take the party away

from them. The very first thing you should do after the
opener is meet all of her friends. The group will either form
a coalition to destroy you or plan a hens night for your
imminent marriage to their friend. To get the girls onside
its very straightforward, just talk to them and introduce
yourself to everyone.
A good rule of thumb with this is flirty and illogical with
the target, friendly and logical with the friends. For
example, ask what each of the friends do for a job but state
that the girl you like must work as a mermaid. Logical
versus illogical. If you get flirty with the ugly friends they
may adopt you and then get sad and bitchy if you dont pay
them attention. You want to have an emotional interaction
with the girl you like, talk to the friends like they are nuns
from the Mormon cult.
When addressing the group a whole you can do role plays,
ask about group dynamics, ask how they know each other
or whatever. Its all pretty straight forward stuff. Ask them
which Sex in the City girl they play, which Spice Girl they
would be, go Dr Phil on their ass, et cetera, et cetera.
Beware however the fatty/manager/bitch/psychologically
unsound/not getting laid chick. She can make every one
unhappy; even if the cute girl likes you, the bitchy girl can
ruin everything. Because girls are heavily influenced by
their environment, they also agree without question to the
opinions of their friends. This is very frustrating because
the bitchy girl can be your Achilles heel. Or, she could be
your cupid.


In short, call her the sniper girl (Natural Tim, 2006) and
accuse her of being the girl that keeps all her friends from
doing stupid thing they will regret when they are drunk.
Say that its a pleasure to meet her, because if it wasnt for
girls like her then your friend/cousin/sister/workmate
would have been at the abortion clinic many times over.
The sniper girl often likes this and will try and lick your
face. Dont succumb. Thank her for her good Samaritan
work and be on your way with her friend with the sniper
girls blessing.
With guys in the group there are two ways to handle it. In
the first place the guy will be a chode, do nothing and
because you are a cooler and more sociable guy the girls
will recognise you are the coolest guy around and be
attracted to you because girls are attracted to the most alpha
guy in the group. No worries, most guys are bitches and are
scared, but they are good to prop you up to a more alpha
role then when you were approaching on your own.
Secondly the guys might try and fuck with you and do
some kind of AMOGing (Alpha Male Other Guy).
Personally, I think AMOGing is kinda lame and definitely
unnecessary. The only person I AMOG is Ryan, not
because I want his girls, but because I want to talk to him
and the girls are detracting me from doing that. If a guy is
trying to mess with you, the girls you are talking to will
clearly notice and realise that he is less cool than you for
trying to fuck with you. Call the guy on not being cool
with something like, Hey man, what the fuck are you
talking about, chill out, were all just being cool here.

Proceed to introduce yourself and he will either be blown

out by the girls or he will disappear into the bathrooms to
snack on the urinal cakes.
The next part of the interaction is attraction. This doesnt
mean that you have to deploy your flying monkeys with
fangs. Attraction will come from you just talking to the girl
and the group through a higher value frame (less reactive,
more assertive, less predictable) and exposing her to a full
range of emotions as a function of you talking to her. If you
are talking to her the conversation goes like most meet and
greet conversations go you will be bored and be inspired to
pull your pants down or something similar. Reframe, be
socially calibrated, but do thwart your boredom with an
array of self entertaining conversation spikers as opposed to
the good old fashioned interview questions.
Some things that might prevent you from falling asleep on
the beer mats are:
Sexual misinterpretation
Cold reading
Compliance ladders
Verbal and physical push pull
Using the phrase lets play a game
Implementing the Anomaly effect
Teaching something

Take aways
Extreme multiple threading
Elastic snap back
Game and gimmicks
Play with iPhone
Sexual innuendo
Shock and awe
Us versus the world conspiracies
Plot lines
Emotional rapport
Beating congruence tests
Physical communication and leading
Frame controlling
Using the word babe
Verbal rhythm
Emotional content of your language
Eye contact and intensity
Story telling style.
Many others
(This list was taken directly from the post A = HV + E, the
complete article on attraction)
A lot of these moves are things that a guy will do naturally
when he is just fucking around, implement them if you will.
Remember though, the moment you deliberately implement
these actions to get the girl to like you the actions become
unattractive things. Do them as an expression of yourself
for the purposes of self entertainment.
If a girl meets a guy who can express himself in the above
listed ways, win the approval of her judgemental friends

and start and carry a conversation until the point where the
girl is comfortable then you will most certainly hook the
girls attention and inspire attraction. Remember though,
there cant be one iota of you trying for rapport with her
until she tries for rapport with you. Classic game theory
reminds us that attraction always comes before rapport. Or
more accurately, you dont have a serious conversation
with the girl until she initiates serious talk with you. You
need to be an involvement worthy guy.
So, finally you have her hooked. The girl initiates serious
questions of you, usually to the tune of where are you
from, what do you do, how long are you staying here.
These questions will surely put you to sleep I know, but
you have to be polite. Answer some things accurately and
misinterpret some when it entertains you. Will you will
begin to develop rapport simply by talking to the girl and
getting to know each other. If you entertain yourself
through the get to know you generic conversation you
will radiate an arousing range of emotions that will keep
the girl interested and result in her attraction towards you
But, let me back track here for a moment. On another
simultaneous dimension is the action concurrent to
conversation: physicality. As Christophe says, If youre
talking, your touching. Basically the difference between
friendly and flirty is physicality. So if you are worried
about that cake-bingers sexual advances on you then just
cut off all contact. Dont let her boobs rub against you

cause you will give her the wrong idea and the wrong
reasons to go to the ladies room.
With the cute girls, however, physical interaction is
chemistry itself. Its the bumping and vibrating of ions that
generates heat and tension and she is bound to react. You
should think of your physical interaction with the girl as
something that increases with intensity steadily but not
smoothly. Similar to the jagged upwards gradient of a stock
exchange graph (with the exception of recent times).

The best way to think of escalation is two steps forward

and one step back. This can be done to the tune of push and
pull, gradually getting closer, but without being overly
predictable. Start the escalation at the very beginning of
conversation with the cute girl, otherwise you will get into
a friendly frame. Dont start the physicality with too much
intensity otherwise you will set a restraining order frame.
Start with a hand shake and five minutes later you want to
be telling secrets. Five minutes later again you want to be
holding hands, keep this two steps forward one step back
going until you have something we call physical rapport.
This is where you and the girl are completely comfortable
in each others personal space. There is a threshold to how
physical you can get at a bar however, but it does set a

platform for further physical intimacy later on in a private

With the entire notion of physical escalation understood
lets get back to the conversational dimension of the
interaction. Once the girl has hooked and started asking you
questions, the friends have been won over and you are
well on the way to good physical rapport, it is time to get
the girl one on one. This is called isolation. Girls are
susceptible to the arousing and ever changing external
stimuli around them. If you are the only source of stimulus
to her you will be her only source of arousal. More so, she
wont be distracted by girl friends and the likelihood of her
being approached by others guys is non-existent when she
is one on one with you.
Getting the girl one on one with you is easily done if you
have hooked and fulfilled the other aspects of the
interaction up until this point. The way I isolate almost
every time is to say to the girls group of friends, We are
going to get a drink. Well be back soon. Fatty you are cut
off. I dont usually say the bit about the fatty because she
gets pissed at me and so does the girl. I can then take the
girl by the hand like a couple, create an us versus the
world conspiracy or a bubble of love and escalate further
again. Waiting in line we have a chance to talk one on one
and I will even talk to other girls in the area while I am
waiting for drinks for social proof and some general self


A word of note about buying drinks and I have written

about this before (albeit badly: How to Drink) -buying
drinks for girls is fine. Drink buying is good when its
expression not impression. It makes sense to the girl that if
she is going to hook up with a guy if hes going to buy her
drinks. In her socially conditioned mind this clicks. When
she has a few drinks she can then begin to move towards
justifying going home with you. And, most importantly, its
good to bring a girl with you to the bar because where I
drink I have been cut off from ordering more than one
drink for me at a time. With a girl there I can buy the drink
under the guise that she will drink most of it, when really, I
will drink all of it.
The Value Inversion Point
So by this stage you have the girl opened and hooked, her
friends like you, you are getting physical, you are one on
one and attraction is consistent because you are continuing
to communicate from a frame of attraction, A = HV + E. So
far you have been gaming the girl. But, we all know that
you wont get laid unless the girl games you. In the
beginning of the interaction you need to put your
personality out there and involve her with it, shes
interested in you for you, which is cool. But as far as she
knows you are interested in her just for some poontang.
At the point where you have hooked and isolated, the point
where you go from a 90:10 talking ratio to a 50:50 talking
ratio, the point where you stop gaming the girl and the girl
starts gaming you is something magical and new called the
VALUE INVERSION POINT. It is called this because this

is when you stop demonstrating value to the girl and you

give her the chance to start demonstrating her value to you.
This way you give her a chance to give you a chance to like
her for her, not just for the look of her. The truth of the
matter is, even if a girl is breathtakingly hot, if shes a piece
of shit human being (drugs, validation whore, harlot, or
dumbass) you wont be able to endure her long enough to
hook up with her.
Basically, the value inversion point is when the girl needs
to start making an effort to keep you from walking away.
She will tend to do this by asking you boring fucking
questions, but this is a good thing because you know she is
gaming you. She wont start asking you questions unless
you give her a chance to start asking you questions. If you
dont give her that chance and keep talking you become
entertainer man, the dancing money. You want her to be the
dancing monkey; a girl loves a chase.
The value inversion point is a subtle thing. Its basically
you pausing on a high note of the interaction expectantly
waiting for her to continue the conversation. You are more
comfortable with the silence than she is. You know that
youre an involvement worthy guy, she knows that your an
involvement worthy guy and you both know that if she
doesnt start investing in the conversation pretty soon
youre gonna start striding away because she is actually
boring to you. She knows you could have options.
When she starts asking you questions from a frame where
she is trying for rapport with you, you are in a frame where
you are a selector and unreactive. She reacts to the stated

facts of your statements as prompted by her questions. In

this frame, once this VALUE INVERSION has occurred,
the interaction is as good as successful. But it is a critical
moment. You need to know when to expectantly pause at
just the right time to catalyse the shift in value
In the following clip the value inversion point happens at
the 8.56 point. Notice the change of investment into the
conversation as elicited by the male. I dont like to use
Hollywood as an example of real life but this is an
exception where what Im trying to communicate is
accurately demonstrated.
Now you have an interaction where the girl is gaming you
and you are having fun. This will ultimately result in you
getting the girl. But, that wont happen then and there on
the dance floor floorboards, you need to get to know each
other. Once you have conquered the value inversion point
you are in a zone where you are just chatting up the girl.
Yes that right, all you have to do form this point on is chat
up the girl. It will generally be a 50/50 interaction where
there is a combination of statements and questions
generated by each of you but all the while you are in
control of the frame. While you are in control of the frame
it creates an opportunity for the girl to game you which is
extremely arousing to her.
The more you simply get to know each other the more
rapport you will have with a girl. The more you chat up the

girl in a one on one situation the more you will be her

source of arousing stimulus the more emotions she will get
from you, the stronger her attraction towards you will be. A
= HV + E. While you are talking and getting to know
each other you are continuing to physically escalate which
is arousing in and of itself.
Some basic knowledge about rapport states that there are
essentially two type of rapport that you can have with a girl.
Wide rapport which is the discussion of a broad range of
topic until you find several commonalities. Then there is
deep rapport which is deeper heart to heart topics like who
her heros are, what she was in high school, what her dream
job is. These rapport questions and be mirrored by yourself
and in the case of the deep rapport questions cut out any
sorts of egos you might both be projecting and exposed
your natural self deep down while it helps your girl to find
and get in touch with her natural self.
Think of the notion of rapport in terms of investments and
returns. Conversationally the more a person invests into
another person the more they are going to want a return.
The more you get the girl talking to you and asking you
questions the more she is going to want something from
that investment she made later on. No point spending all
the time gaming you up to see you just walk away. She will
feel let down and rejected. The more you can create an
opportunity for her to invest in you with questions, tryingfor-rapport body language and tonality the more she is
going to want to see you again or be validated by you.


Which could mean getting to see you again or ultimately

physical intimacy.
The whole chatting up the girl phase is whats known as
vibing. Vibing is when two people are lost in the moment.
Of course we know that when you are present in the
moment you have fun and feel good, you escape your
future issues and your past dramas. Once you get into
chatting with a girl conversation can get deep, and time will
fly without you even noticing. When you are in the moment
you and the girl both get back to default natural states. In
your simultaneous default natural states you will naturally
go towards sex in co-operation. That is the natural way that
males and females interact in any species.
When you are vibing with a girl and getting to know her
you can reconcile intent to close with enjoyment of the
interaction for the interaction itself. You know that if you
get the girl in to the moment, beat whatever tests or
obstacles come up, and continue to spend time with her
then you and her will ultimately become more intimate
with sex being the eventual outcome. For many guys they
think that they need to be pulling the girl into a bathroom
immediately or unbuttoning his fly there on the balcony.
Realise that once you are into vibing with physicality the
interaction is everything it needs to be. Vibe it out and
when the opportunity to extract comes up take it. If an
opportunity doesnt come up manufacture one. All you
need to know is that things are on the right track. Plus why
would she be vibing with you if she didnt like you and

didnt eventually want to get more intimate with you? You

and your conversation is enough.
Word of note. Getting the make out in the bar isnt
beneficial to the progress of the interaction. Kissing the girl
will communicate clearly to her that you and her are
probably going in the direction of sex which will take the
fun gaming element out of the interaction for her.
Furthermore, if you dont go home with the girl that night
when she goes to take your phone call during the week she
wont be able to justify seeing you because she will know
that her relationship with you is going to be geared towards
physical intimacy, namely sex. A physically geared
relationship is ok, it just cant be an obvious and
predictable thing.
If you dont kiss the girl there is a lot more tension and a
full range of emotions exchanged as a result of that. She
will even try to start kissing you in the bar, or start
wondering why a cool guy like you isnt kissing the her, a
girl who considers herself to be attractive. Better to leave
the kissing to a location where you have potential to do
more than just kissing.
Congruence Tests
Of course the interaction is not all smooth sailing. In a
dream world you could just cruise into a bar, talk to some
girls, move her somewhere isolated and talk her into the
sack. Nope, we live in the real world. Though, that easy-lay
scenario has been known to occur. The inclement weather
that prevents smooth sailing is called congruence tests.

These happen all through the interaction. From start to

finish, but less during the vibing phase where is it usually
just playful and innocent teasing. A congruence tests is
where the girl gives you any sort of unfavourable response
that makes it difficult to continue the interaction with her.
Natural game is you approach girl, talk naturally, beat tests
until you hook up with the girl. Girls test guys to ensure
they are worthy partners. Remember that its men and
womens default state to eventually have sex because
people are naturally attracted to one another, it drives
species reproduction, the guy who passes the most tests is
the one who will get the girl.
If you are that congruence with the man you are supposed
to be then you will usually get very few tests in the same
way that most guys wouldnt want to do anything to
jeopardise hooking up with a model hot girl.
Girls test guys automatically and unconsciously all the time.
Not because they are bitches, but they need to sort the men
from the boys. Testing is something that is built into them.
Understand that beating a congruence tests is a
attraction routines, DHVing with them is called being an
insecure try hard. The girl only knows you are a guy of
value, and of higher value than her, when you beat or
successfully deal with a testing situation.
These situations could be the girl ignoring you, her calling
you a player, her telling you to go away, telling you that
you are using a pick up line or her just being a total bitch.
Shes probably a nice girl but shes used to chodes hitting

on her and she need to sort the quality from the riff-raff. If
you are not capable of passing tests then you need to work
on your inner game.
If you not going up to her trying to impress her, and youre
just being cool, she will at some point question you, test
you, antagonise you or straight up try and belittle you. If
you can remain unreactive to this, you hold the attractive
frame(A = HV + E) and you overtly demonstrate that you
are a man of value relative to her.
That being said, if you are clever and know how to do thing
to generate tests immediately you can beat those same tests
just as quickly. One example is calling a girl a minger.
So, the primary and most effective way to beat a girls test,
or anyones for that matter, is to just plain out ignore it. If
that doesnt work then you can get a little bit creative with
your response. Note that it is a response, not a reaction to
her test. You can say righto, I dont speak Spanish, by
X you mean Y (another extended blog on that later) or
its all good.A test is like a speeding bullet, its only as
lethal as the impact it makes on you. If you dont
acknowledge the test then it isnt validated and it simply
doesnt exist. You hold the higher value frame, you are less
reactive to her and you overtly demonstrate higher value
and are attractive.
So, the interaction is almost complete. You have opened,
won the friends, inspired attraction, isolated the girl,
inverted the value demonstrating, got physical, got to

chatting with her and have a good vibe going all the while
beating congruence tests and demonstrating value. The
interaction is looking plush. Now all you have to do is
consolidate the interaction.
Of course a girl cannot just justify fucking some stranger
who she will assume approached her based on her looks.
Now that the girl has spent time chatting to you in an effort
to get to know you, you need to acknowledge this. You
need to qualify her, tell her what you like about her other
than her looks. Tell her why you enjoy her and
communicate to her that you understand who she really is.
Clearly demonstrate that the connection you have
established in the interaction is real.
When you qualify a girl there are three steps. Firstly tell her
why she is different. Do not tell her why she is aesthetically
different or visually different, like oh my god, youre so
much taller than all the other girls or oh my god your
camel toe is barely visible in your cargo pants or you are
so pretty. This shows that you still see her as a slab of
meat, rather than a human being. There will be plenty of
time to get in touch with her hotness and physicality later.
But if you want to get to that she needs to know that you do
in fact respect her.
Tell her that she is different in terms of her character traits.
If you have been talking to her for five minutes you will be
able to tell her profound things about her because you have
been listening. If you can tell her these things and they are
accurate they will appeal to her ego and make her feel good,
she will feel validated and want more of it, especially when

the validation is coming from a valuable source. So for

example point out that she has amazing energy or that
she is really level headed and down to earth or that she
has a fierce competitive streak or that she is extremely
altruistic and caring of those around her. Pointing out
these traits isnt hard especially if you are genuine. If you
are doing these things just for the sake of doing them they
will yield a very bad reaction from the girl. If you are going
to point out a girls good characters traits you will need to
have been talking with her for a little while.
The second step of qualification is to compare and contrast
the girl with everyone else. If you pointed out that she was
particularly caring then you could also point out that a lot
of people these days, especially in Sydney, are extremely
self absorbed. If you pointed out that she was particularly
fierce then you could then point out that people these days
are lazy and they dont take pride in themselves. Contrast
what makes her unique with the mundane and average
character traits of the masses.
Thirdly in the qualification process you need to ask her
why she is unique in the way that she is. If you pointed out
that she was caring, then pointed out that others were self
absorbed then you would want to ask her what is it that
makes you so particularly caring and altruistic? She will
want to talk about her positive characteristic and it will be
interesting to hear origins of that character trait. As well as
both those things it pumps up and validates her sense of
self or ego which makes her feel good. As she explains why


she is unique to you she is making an investment in you

from which later she will want a return.
A word of note on investments and returns. By
investments, I mean an investment of energy in the person
they are talking to. From that investment of energy they
expect that person to make just as much investment back.
Whoever makes more of an investment is trying harder
than the other person and wont be satisfied with the
interaction until they have an equal amount of effort
invested back into them.
By that same token, if you go up and start making a
massive investment into a woman off a cold approach, then
she will wonder what she has done to get someone coming
up making an unwarranted investment. She will soon
realise that the person doing the investing is doing so to try
and get her to make an effort back. If you are doing less
investing in the interaction then the other person then the
other person will want something from you. Usually to
spend more time with you, to figure you out, to score with
you, to be seen with you or to be validated by you. Thats
the social world. Dont make more of an investment than
the girl, she will find herself making an investment in you
from which she will want a return.
So the interaction is looking very good and you have done
everything that will work in your favour and left nothing
out. There are two ways to close this interaction, one way is


to get the phone number, the other way is to take the girl to
another venue or even home that night.
If you are only able to get a phone number that night then
you want to have asked for the phone number earlier on in
the interaction somewhere after the opener. This way
throughout the rest of the vibing of the interaction she is
talking to you through the filter of this guy has my phone
number as opposed to the filter of this guy might be
trying to get my phone number. Everything you ever
needed to know about phone game can be found in another
post here: Phone Game; Your Missing Piece.
On the other hand you may want to take the girl from the
venue to get something to eat, to an after party or even
straight home. This branch of knowledge is an entire blog
post in and of itself. This blog post is just about the check
points of the interaction. But, if you follow the check points
outlined here venue changing or after partying wont be a
big deal.
In Conclusion
So there is it in its entirety. The tried, tested and proven
outer game elements that constitute a very good interaction.
Now that you have the knowledge of these steps, you can
trouble shoot your own game and take your results to the
next level.
Each and every part of the process is valuable in and of
itself. Neglect one step and it could undo your entire
interaction. If you arent in a good state before you open,

the girls will run away from you. If you dont open then
you wont talk to the girls. If you dont introduce yourself
to the friends then the friends will whisk the girl away from
you. If you not attractive then you will just get into a
friends zone. If you dont initiate physical contact then you
will be left in the friends zone. If you dont get the girl one
on one you wont have a chance to quickly amplify your
investment in each other. If you dont invert the value of
the interaction then you will fall into a dancing monkey
frame. If you dont get to know the girl then you are just
another random guy at the bar. If you dont qualify the girl
then she will think you like her just to fuck her. If you dont
close the deal then you wont get the girl. You will just be
wasting your time.
For those who dont go out much, a knowledge of what you
are actually supposed to do can be the difference between
you acting with confidence and not. Acting with confidence
is the difference between you behaving attractively and not.
So a structural knowledge is very important to newer guys.
For guys who have been around the game for a while this
will be a rehash of a lot of ideas that you were aware of.
But I can guarantee that you are missing elements or doing
things in the wrong order that have left you confused by a
lack of results. Leaving you to think to yourself what am I
missing? For seasoned natural gamers a rehash of the
basics can get you back to a simple interaction where its
just a boy, a girl and some chemistry. Dont overcomplicate


In the future Im going to write extended articles on each of

the aspects of the interaction with cool moves and
extremely effective field tested dynamite. These specific
moves articles will be spread out over the next few
months, but in the mean time there are plenty of tips and
insights you can immediately implement for immediate
And lastly, and I cant ever stress this enough, outer game
is just an expression of yourself. Use your brain and
intuition, follow the structure, but be smart about knowing
when to bend it. Let this outer game structure guide you
because its devastatingly effective, dont let it be your
Have fun on the weekend!
I will.


BY Alexander~ | February 20th, 2009 at 10:41 AM

Dont hate on others and how to deal with those that do
Dude, so many people hate other people. First, there was
Adam and Eve, and more recently, Bert and Ernie. In the
case of the latter, I understand there would be friction
because of the sexual fireworks caused by their living
arrangement. But really, its not that big of a deal. Just
build a pillow barrier like me and Jeffy did and youre all
All these community folk are out to build some kind of
new sense of self. They need to take a chill pill (which isnt
an amphetamine, its a metaphor for chilling the fuck out)
and realize the new self is found under their clothes.
When these community folk are bouncing around their shit,
all trying to find themselves in some ego on the threads, its
like red team and blue team in paintball. The red teams all
like, this is how Im going to do things from now on.
Because theyre all pissed, theyre wearing red, get
aggressive and cant accept that another reality of wearing
blue can co-exist as being a cool way to chill out in the
world. So what do they do?! Shoot red fucking paintballs at
them, and try to shove their shit down their throats and
make them red too so they have a reality that makes sense?
Scum. But, they dont know any better.


Meanwhile! The Blue team is cracking the shits because

they didnt start with red. At first they were chill in blue,
just kicking back and playing poker, then they realized that
red team was wearing red, which they wanted to be. This
made them angry. So, because they cant be red like red
team, which red team wants to turn them into anyway, they
get pissed and try and sabotage red team by turning them
blue. They both want the same thing, but they just dont
like their realities being questioned. So what does blue
team do to fuck with red team? Thats right. They throw
fucking paint bombs everywhere and shout Geronimo all
over the place. They are embarrassed at what theyre doing,
not even sure why they are doing it. By they keep going
because they are confused.

Statistical analysis reveals that both teams wanted the same

thing, to be the red team. Red team didnt realize they were
cool just being red. No worries; have a fucking cookie. But
then they see the blue-crew and get all pissed because they
arent sure if they are correct anymore. Blue crew thinks
they are missing out on something because of the common
misconception that red cars go faster. So, they just destroy
the brake cables of their red cars so they will fall into a lake,
which is blue. Effectively sabotaging something they
though they wanted and didnt have.

Stupefied by external sources, I see this sort of shit all the

time with different schools of thought all over the place.
Only in the case of the Westin Hotel can action be taken.
Otherwise in less dire circumstances, red team and blue
team need to realize how to settle their differences instead
of attacking with high velocity red paintballs and Geronimo
Blue Paint bombs.
Red team and blue team need to chill the fuck out, listen to

some reggae and get naked.

Shit happens when you party naked. All the players from
both red team and blue team get their gear off, and will
have the startling realization that all players from both
teams have dicks!
Then both teams will realize they are wasting their time,
because they find that there is no point fucking each other.
Shit happens when you party naked.
So, they chase girls.
Peacefully yours,




BY Alexander~ | March 6th, 2009 at 11:31 AM

The Walk of Shame and the Stride of Pride
I will always remember my twenties as the years as a
magical time of adventure, binge drinking and writing
articles for RSD Nation.
These experiences have been punctuated by many pillow
fights, interspersed with moments and glory and moments
of shame.
There has been more than one occasion where I have
woken up to feel the hot sun beat down on my face, before
rubbing my eyes and posing myself the rather philosophical
question: where the fuck am I?
If I managed to get myself into a situation where I didnt
know where I was upon waking up, then it usually followed
that I was in a headspace where the grammar of my
recovery monologues was compromised.
I once awoke to find ants in my hair because I used honey
for styling gel. I was in a garden; luckily there was a girl
next to me, so I knew that it wasnt a completely wasted
Unsure as to whether or not the interaction was high-five
worthy, I strained to remember the night before,
specifically wondering if there were any events that super
ceded the attention I paid towards my own entertainment.

On the walk back from Brisbanes botanical gardens I

stopped to get an iced coffee, whilst my female pillow
fighting friend dropped into the chemist to get a morning
after pill. Either she remembered what happened when I
didnt, or she was just unsure and was being cautious.
Either way, great success!
As I strolled through the city that sultry Wednesday
morning, I thought to myself... this is the walk of shame.
Fat businessmen stared and spat at me. Others gazed
longingly at the disheveled women at my side as she
ingested her contraceptive. Children on the way to school,
dressed neatly with their little ties, were frightened by me.
I was the bad man.
That long and hot walk back to my home was the definition
of the walk of shame. Iced coffee wasnt the most well
thought out plan either. It was so damn hot, so yeah, milk
was a bad choice.
Now, Im no stranger to the walk of shame. In fact, there
are several rivers named after me in Australia that honor
the walks I took when I couldnt afford a ride home.
However, one thing Im much less of a stranger to is the
stride of pride. When it comes to times of glory, I just
cruise through Airport customs. The customs squid and I
are on a first name basis these days.

I used to live with three guys, and we would have up to

twenty five people sleeping (read as: unconscious) on the
floor of our house. Some mornings I would wake and, as
usual, wonder where the fuck am I? I would then breathe
a sigh of relief as I saw my good old fashioned glow in the
dark stars that I had stuck to my roof.
Unaware as to why I had no feeling in my right arm, I
glanced to my adjacent area only to notice the gorgeous girl
that was chilling sleep styles next to me. Delighted by this
discovery and assured that there would be teams of guys
passed out downstairs, I suggested that the girl roll off my
arm and come to the letter box with me to collect my mail.
Striding like Jesus walking on water, girl in tow, others
stirred and came to consciousness, themselves asking the
quintessential question, where the fuck am I? Then they
noticed me in the midst of my stride of pride, girl in toe.
She asked, why are we going to get the mail?
It was Sunday; there was no mail.
Many months later and the stride of pride would be
upgraded to waking up in world class hotel rooms.
Escorting babes past teams of students always stopped
doubts of the integrity of the RSD instructor abilities.
These are the glory times that punctuate what have so far

been my twenties.


BY Alexander~ | March 20th, 2009 at 11:12 AM

Shadow Lording... Messing with Ryan; and how Ryan
Got Me Back.
Look, Ill be honest with you. There is something wrong
with Ryan. Exhibit A.

Ryan suffers from a Disease called Malcolm X. Ryan

suffers from eleven names: Ground game, Sparky, Sparky
underscore PUA, Bangladeshy Playboy 69, Yahya, Yahya
Jones, Yahya Jones Bitch, Yahya Jones Bitch!, and Shadow
Lord Target Number One.
Yahya has this many names because he doesnt want all the
girls he is slamming to find out his true identity, which
recently was changed to Alexander~ Jr. Some dont know,
but Ryan fucks the girlfriends of internet billionaires, and
like a ninja, swoops in and seduces the groupies of all
American rock bands. Hes a gulf war stealth machine.
One thing I can tell is you is there is something very right

about Ryan. He is the best wing in the world. If I could lord

with anyone, it would be him. Tyler, Tim, Jeffy and Papa...
yeah, you guys are cool, but Alexander~ Jr. (Ryan) is
where its at.
He is the best for several reasons. For one, it is because he
has the best technical skills and know-how in the game,
bar NO-ONE FROM ANYWHERE. Also, when it comes
time for analysis he will pace back and forth for hours on
end mentally masturbating about interesting things.
Soon enough you can be sure Alexander~ Sr. is right in
there with him as well, breaking it down and bringing an
inner game perspective. And alas, the number one reason
why Ryan is the best wingman in the world is because of
this contrast with me. Hes an outer game National
Aeronautics and Space Administration engineer. While
hes up in set with the hot girls with youthful junior
enthusiasm, Im eagerly waiting in line for a Corona to
wrap my lime with.
Once my agent of hydration has been acquired I return to
find Ryan deep in set with what is invariably a hottie.
When I return I usually feel like I have ten out of ten game.
This is true, because I am happy because Ryan is ready to
distribute some outer game.
Smiling and looking like a model from a Corona ad,
sweepings beads of sweat away from my brownish brow
deflecting golden rays of sunshine into the surrounding
atmosphere, girls involved with this particular Alexander~604

Ryan dynamics often mistake Alexander~ for a Christmas

Inspired by this new shiny and festive season object, the
girls often hang one finger from their mouths and drool in
what is the initiation towards a fluid transaction.
Like a cold Christmas night, the girls flock around me as I
triumphantly lift a beer to my lips like excited children
magnetically drawn to long and full socks hanging from a
roaring winter fireplace. Soon after, they recognize me
from my youtube fame and soon Ryan is forgotten, left out
in the winter cold like a silly person who lost their keys to
their house.
Perturbed, Ryan found this to be dissatisfactory. He would
often think to himself, why does he get beer AND get girls,
and have a large and full sock that motivated girls to hang
out with him?
A perplexing conundrum.
Little did Ryan know, his enthusiasm was his own bullet
wound to the foot. It wasnt that he was doing anything
incorrect; it was that he fell into the trap of Alexanders~
rhythm once the girls projected any attention onto the
shiny new object.
This irked Ryan for some time. Especially as he was in a
position to learn how to instruct from Alexander~ and the
professional dynamics were preset as an alpha-beta, Alex605

Ryan learning role play.

Ryan, however, is probably smarter than Alexander~. At
this stage Ryan has tens of thousands of dollars less in fines
than Alexander~ does, which is an accurate means of
measuring ones intelligence.
Ryan, aware of Alexander~s comparative intelligence,
realized Alexander~ had far too much self esteem because
he didnt use any cognition in field and only, as Ryan
describes, thinks with his nuts.
So Ryan hatched a plan. The shadow lording was becoming
too much, and Ryan was getting pissed, and was also
evolving into other relationships Ryan had with other
instructors such as naturalTim. Ryan figured if he could get
Alexander~ to use his brain, then he would get an ego. And
then he wouldnt be such a shiny object to girls but rather a
viral piece of cunt to them. Viciously he launched his
intellectual plan.
Alexander~, Ryan proclaimed, you are the best in the
Dont talk to me Alexander~ would respond.
You are the best in the world. All the other instructors
have girlfriends now. You are the best in the world.
Ryan would press on.
Now, at first this made no sense to Alexander~, because he

is a man of self esteem and has little cognitive operation in

the bar. But, after the seventeen thousandth repetition of
this simple message, the rusty mechanisms in Alexander~s
party brain began to slowly turn.

He thought to himself, Why yes, I do sleep with lots of

girls, and I do get lots of comments on the blog. I must be
pretty good. And so it passed, as the dark veil of night fell
on that black evening, Alexander~s I think Im the best in
the world ego crawled from the womb of hell.
That night in Sweden, I was a bitch value taker and afraid
to get blown out and devalidated.
I was inside my head.
Ryan had stopped taking it, and started giving it. The
fucked had become the fucker. Alexander~ was taking it
and he didnt like it.
Ryan laughed, whor whor whor, pleased with himself

and his un-shadow-lorded sex.

Soon, Alexander~ realized what was going on, and turned
the tables again. Ryan tried growing a moustache because
he knew that Alexander~ had not yet properly conquered
Later, Alexander~ and Ryan were found in the corridors of
rumination, discussing the see-sawing alpha role
phenomenon. It would be decided that no more shadow
lording or head fucking should occur.
Then, Ryan and Alexander~ proceeded to pull a stack of
girls while flying off solo in different vicinities in the club,
bringing them back to the same hotel later on for sexy
timez. Sometimes Alexander~ would have to use the
bathroom to entertain his guest, sometimes Ryan would. It
was the birth of a fruitful dynasty.
Soon afterwards, they would order room service and wear




BY Alexander~ | April 1st, 2009 at 8:46 AM

Hot shit interns. The real best job in the world.
Everyone says that being a Real Social Dynamics instructor
is the best job in the world. And I can assure you that it is
indeed an amazing situation. There have been plenty of
glory times and I am proud of the hundreds of identity level
changed students out there in the world representing the
Alexander~ team.

But, when Im diagnosing mind bending sticking points

that are outside doctors realities, when Im dabbing tears
off the shoulder of my suit coat, when Im negotiating with
the bouncer to let the student stay in the venue... my hot
shit interns are getting their dicks sucked... sometimes in
the club.


To be a bootcamp intern, you have a few simple roles to

play. Show up, carry the paperwork, high-five the students
and make sure the instructor shows up as well.
And get laid.
Not exactly a lengthy task sheet, but an important one. If
your instructor is the bad cop, the instructor assistant is
your friend and moral support, the ultimate good cop.
Your hot shit intern will wing that fattie with you, but he
wont fuck her; he will have her lick condiments off his
outer game until you, the student, have closed the deal.
Oftentimes, this happens in the poor instructors hotel bed.
When Im instructing, I dont have the luxury of carefree
and flashy game that yields insta-alley sex. I have to play to
technically safe, be cool and uphold a professional standard
of excellence. As so many other pedestrians of the bar
down drinks at the bar, I go dry, all for the good of science.

Meanwhile, my hot shit interns are shooting free tequilas

from the hottie bartender that is vying for their attention,
because they were lording the girls of the club. I look
longingly at them, ignoring my sad liver as it asks me,
Why am I being left out, Alexander?
On bootcamp, I execute glorious demonstrations of destiny.
But, can I close these girls? No. My dick asks me, No wet
times tonight, Alexander? Interns consistently inject
themselves into the situation and capitalize on the buying
temperature I have professionally dialed up for them.
Hot shit interns crash in glamour hotel rooms, drink the
minibar and turn their beds in tents and such so that the
others in the room cant see his ass punishing the female
guest he is entertaining. All the while, the instructor is
debriefing wide eyed students that are well aware that the
hot shit intern is up in the room giving a solid finish to
what was an awesome in-club demonstration.
The best thing about being an intern is you get to go on
unlimited free bootcamps. The guys who I know who have
the best game in the world are those who have done the
most bootcamps. Those guys are instructors. The guys who
come close second are those who have interned on the most
A massive shout out to the awesome crew that brings the
heat every fucking time on bootcamp, who live the life and
who turn an outstanding weekend into Cirque-du-fucking612

Soleil. I mean Manwhore, Pimpski, Derrick, Brad- (now an

instructor) Saad, Brian, m-Swan, Adrian, Tom, Brendan,
Toli, Bish and Erik.
These guys bring game that is comparable to instructor
level game, and in my humble opinion, I consider Derrick
to be the best in the world.
Now, we usher in a new era in Australia with the hot shit
interns of the Gold Coast. Introducing the smoothness of
the rum swillin, sweet talking Pyro and the WWE girl
wresting abilities of Kimball the ranger box terrorist. On
the New South Wales front, we bring professional body
builder Chief, who bench presses Hawaii for a workout and
roots the Hawaiian Princesses for a de-stressing work out.
These guys are the shit.
If I didnt have these guys holding down sets while I
coached, helping to pull girls back to my hotel, I can tell
you now that my weekend sex count would certainly be a
fraction of what it is.
To all the hot shit interns, you guys have it sweet. Keep
pulling and keep reppin the glory that is Real Social
In fact, I think Im going to take a weekend off and Intern
on a Jeffy program again like the days of yore.


Peace Yo.


BY Alexander~ | April

15th, 2009 at 9:23 AM

Going Out Preparation

Some people see pick up as a sport. And, like a sport, they
have their little routines, good luck charms, ceremonies,
and voodoo dances that help them usher in a good night in
the field.
Its that special time when dusk sets in on a weekend night,
the point at which you shower, turn up the music and
substitute beers for the wickedness of spirits.
You will, in a lot of cases, really put a lot of emphasis on
this process and as a result leave you psychologically
expended before you even get into the field. You will arrive
with massive outcome dependence, you might sweat
yourself, soaked, rendering your preparation shower a
complete waste of time. The importance of a good pre
going out check list could be the difference between
slamming mingers and slamming honeys. It is just that
Be a social dude; wherever possible get together and head
out in a crew. Girls and guys are far better. Social proof by
hanging out with girls is a massively influential thing. The
other girls that you plan on talking to in the bar will see you
as a guy who girls like being around. As a result, they tend
to trust the opinion of the girls that kick it with you more
than your presentation of yourself, even though they have
never met these girls before.

Dont get too wasted. With the onset of the weekend, it can
be a nice little change to write yourself off into a blithering
mess of kebab chunks and bile. While fun for some, its
mostly an unattractive thing to the girls that you want to be
talking to. Drinking is good because its normal by the
girls standard of reality. But, you dont NEED it.
Dont drink more than you would if you also had to drive a
car home. Otherwise, you will in set crashing shit out,
aware that you are doing it, but without control of saving
the impending wreck about to unfold in front of you.


Importantly, when you ask a girl what she likes in a guy

who comes up to talk to her in a bar, she wont really be
able to put her finger on an accurate description. She will
however tell you that she likes a guy who is not drunk.
The house you might possibly bring a guest back to will
need to live up to a certain standard. And that standard is
one of hygiene, without odours, like your cologne used to
make, or marsupials scampering about the place fornicating.
Some style is an added bonus.
The place you plan to return to doesnt need to be tidy or
even organized, but it does need to be hygienic. Otherwise
it will be a deal breaker. This is especially important for the
bathroom. As Jeffy would say, The bathroom needs to
rival the inside of an Intel microchip testing laboratory in
its degree of cleanliness. This is true; you may be able to
wipe your ass with a piece of pizza, but your girls cant.
If you have rodents, dont leave food lying around and buy
a live cat.
And, if there is a smell problem figure out whats making
that and then call Ghostbusters. Soon after, buy a candle
and waft some scented wax through your abode.


A well prepared evening and a well set up house can set a

great precedent to the night and oftentimes make a great
place to bring company back to.
If you are concerned about what to eat before you go out on
a big night hitting the clubs, simplicity is a good rule of
thumb to follow.
Something light, perhaps a salad.


BY Alexander~ | April 29th, 2009 at 10:43 AM

25 Points...Common Misconceptions of Game
1. Even though the word, game, phonetically sounds
like gay-eme, there is nothing gay about it. If you got
into the game as an excuse to hang out with men, then
this is not the industry for you. Commit a crime and
get yourself locked up, and feel free to allow others to
help you explore that deep avenue. The gay-eme is
about girls and being with them.
2. Acronyms used as false names are unnecessary, and
tie into point number one, in that they are mostly gay
and, hence, unacceptable. If you name is Siphonator
(send in prophet hence origins now activate turbulent
orgasm rupturing) or any such nonsense, it is some
kind of silliness that needs to be put out to pasture. If
you have issues with using your real name in field,
then you shouldnt be in field. Put a metal plug in the
back of your head and fight imaginary computer


3. Stacking should be used for pancakes, not for

people, unless the people are two girls in which case
that can be ok. If you need to stack that would be the
equivalent of throwing bricks at someone who cant
catch. Its certainly not fun for them, and it makes you
look impractical, because its a lot of effort for nothing.
People will question your integrity for taunting
someone with no arms in the first place anyway. They
will ask you, do you have no empathy?... to which you
will reply what is empathy?.
4. Yes, drive-in movies are cool. A lot of people think
that to take a girl on a date that doesnt consist of
taking her to the bedroom and the combo Jedi talkhand flapping her into nudity is the only way to the
vagina. Even though this mysterious method has been
reported to work, its more fun to go and see a movie.
They also have the luxury of popcorn and you can use
the air conditioner in your car to control how warm or
cold you feel. The girl will be kinda trapped and
probably make a move on you out of boredom. If this
happens turn up the sound in your car to drown out her
requests of hanky spanky, and, then you can get back
to the movie. If you are clever, you will get both


5. Talking to other guys about your sexual

achievements isnt a cool thing. If youre a guy who
cruises around and gives out business cards telling
people that you are their next girlfriend, then you have
some chilling the fuck out to do. If youre a guy who
gets plenty of girls in his life, you have more
important things to talk about. For example, the
Westin Hotel chain, credit card fraud, and live action
role playing in the forest with plastic swords with
acronym names.
6. Not having a moustache is a cool thing. If you are
rocking a white strip under your nose, get some real
hormones in you. The moustache is the key to
masculinity and the key to being good at winning ten
step shoot out challenges in the wild west. A
moustache will hide your smile, which will (as ties in
with point one) render you emotional and gay. Also, if
you have enough girth on your moustache, you will
have the opportunity to lodge a cigarette in there for
sweet tobacco purposes and simultaneously call
dancing girls on your cell phone. All the while, your

hands are free to spell out the word player on a

scrabble board against a feminist opponent. Though
you will feel glory of this challenging, but important
achievement, your opponent wont realise your
smiling and be even more mesmerized. Valiant.
7. Not all articles written in the community will be
accurate to their title. There are a lot of sexperts out
there sharing secrets and what not about their field of
expertise. Be careful; if they can write so much, so
well, they must have some pretty good hands for
typing - the sort of fingers that any girl would love to
have as a boyfriend. But think twice, why would a guy
with amazing typing fingers dedicate them to someone
else when he can dedicate them to himself?! Ah ha!
Exposed. Beware of what you read and trust your
sources. Only trust those who test their things live on
program in field. They are the shit. Otherwise you will
make mistakes like reading twenty five point articles
that only have seven points.




BY Alexander~ | June 17th, 2009 at 9:25 AM

He is... one - of them...
2002, late one Friday night, tucked away in the cupboard of
the hallowed Project Hollywood mansion Tyler Durden sat,
wondering what was missing. He had just fucked a model
on a makeshift mattress, two of his students had pulled, and
the writer from Rolling Stone magazine couldnt have been
more impressed.
He had a gorgeous girlfriend, a company of his own and
amazing friends all over the world. People down
Hollywood way were whispering that he had the magic
stick. Hed overthrown the best pick up artist in the
world for pick up reputation supremacy, and hed actually
convinced Nicolas Kho, AKA Papa, that he was equal to
him as a person (a feat that none other has yet to even
encroached upon). Hed even tamed the insufferable Jeffery
Lewis Allen the Ninth.
But it wasnt enough. Why, after all these accomplishments,
all the glory and all the fame, was there a hole burning deep
within his orange-haired chest? He set his goals thinking
theyd be enough, thinking hed be complete. Nope.
Foolishly, he had learnt he was wrong in the hardest of
ways. He looked over the naked body of his dishevelled
girl from that night, then out his window down at the sunset
strip. He didnt know what he was missing, but he knew
hed know it...if only he could figure out how to find it.


Meanwhile, 7178.90 miles away the missing piece lay, cold

an unconscious, disorientated and ashamed.
Where he lay, he couldnt move but he could think. He
could reflect, but not retaliate. All that the one of them
could conclude was that the fabric of existence wasnt
woven with Victoria Bitter and kamikaze times, hed
being trying to sew things together with these primitive
materials for a long enough now. And still, nothing came
together, and it didnt seem like anything ever would.
On the farm the sun began to glow on the horizon, marking
the end of another dirty, drunken night. Hundreds of miles
away Tyler could smell potential on the pacific sea breezes.
He smelt the remedy to the leaks in his reality. One of
them, all the way down in Australia, dreamt of Marissa
Cooper, fictionally mulling about in southern California.
The one of them knew he had to make it to where she
cried, by whatever means possible.
Tyler and one of thems two paths, were in execrably,
destined to cross.


And cross they did.

Many moons later Tyler followed his heart to the land
down under in search of another one of the seven essential
elements of world domination. There he would notice
something that only his eyes had the ability to see. Potential
beneath Victoria Bitter, acne and obesity. He noticed a
diamond in the wreck, he noticed another one of them. He
noticed Alexander~.
The world would never be the same. Tyler would find the
answer to his questions and the lost, young Alexander~ was

proposed to Papa as being a potential one of them. Tyler

and Papa decided, he would be given a chance.
He was flown off to Las Vegas, plucked from nowhere to
the dismay of hundreds of other hopefuls, including Ryan who was sure his time was nigh (Dumbass didnt realise
that all he needed was a beard to become an executive
coach). Alexander was trialled live in field, and hazed by
evil former instructors, to determine whether he had what it
takes to become one of them, an elite Real Social
Dynamics Executive Coach.
In three nights infield Alexander impressed. He did
everything required in field and more - and he had a natural
knack for coaching and guiding others. Two of the three
ticks had been accomplished. But, what of his ability to live
like a rock star? His theatrics? He had love of the game and
a love of the students, but did he had a love of himself? Did
he possess the crucial reckless abandon that set RSD
Coaches apart? The powers that be were concerned.
Ready to fly off home, all the way back to the shithole
factory, to debts and to innumerable personal problems he
got a call from Papa that would change is life in the most
profound of ways.
Cancel your ticket, cancel your life, youre going to
become one of us.
And that afternoon, in celebration of his acceptance into the
Real Social Dynamics instructor training program he went

on a spree that would see Alexander~ mackin hoes by the

pool side and getting himself ARRESTED, risking his
opportunity to become a coach and almost getting deported
back to Australia by United States homeland security.
He had the reckless abandon. They knew he was the man
for the job.
...Almost three years, five hundred students and several
hundred bootcamps later I, Alexander~, am the epitome of
transformation, a walking example of a no-body
becoming something. Nowadays Im high in the experience
ranks of the Real Social Dynamics coaches and Ive had
many, many head spinning experiences, with girls, the law,
freaky community people and the Westin-fucking-Hotels.
Its only right that I tell this story and share it with the
But such a story couldnt be accurately told in one book,
nor could a single book do it all justice.
So to my excitement I have been given the green light to
begin work on a series of books and finally a DVD to tell
the story of my journey, my adventures and finally, teach
you all that I have learned.
After looking at everything worth telling it seems like there
will be as many as four or five books written by myself and
published by RSD. Three about adventures, one about my
evolution and transformation and then another one solely

about inner game to compliment an inner game DVD to be

released sometime in the medium-distance-future.
The first three books simply outline the adventures Ive had
in a light hearted way. I suppose you could call it humour
writing - laugh with me or laugh at me, or plenty of both; or
just shake your head and call me a dick head. Either way it
will be shocking, entertaining and inspiring. It has been
called Dick Lit by those who have reviewed it, coarse,
honest writing about a guy, for guys. The stories are about
being a guy, growing up, getting in too deep, hitting on
girls, hooking up with girls, getting in fights, getting out of
fights - a young guys rich and unpredictable life
The first book is about the adventures that shaped me
before the game. A prelude the RSD lifestyle. All about
growing up as a lost dickhead fumbling and bruising my
way through the world before finally begging to get some
elements of my life under control.
The second book will be the adventures that happened
when I was given a ticket to the world, RSD instructor
skills with women and a professional income. Imagine
taking a poor dickhead with no regard for consequences,
giving him money, teaching him how to use his brain, and
giving him contextual celebrity status wherever he goes.
Life gets ridiculous, a life that has to be shared.
The third book is about Europe. Fuck you Europe. Fuck
you French experience. (btw, the reason for the

unconventionality of my first eight articles was because I

was still jaded with France - and Europe to a lesser degree).
The fourth will be about the growth and transformations,
Like Jeffys book or The Game, a contemporary version of
the classic Heros Tale. This will be the complete version
of the Transformations series that I have started on

And then finally, once I have writing experience,

reputability, and some kind of fan base, then I will be
granted permission to record a DVD program focusing on

game after the Blueprint specifically real inner game,

natural game interspersed with instantly applicable outer
game routines and techniques that newbies love to have fun
with. I wanted to do this inner game DVDs and book first,
but the powers that be need a higher profile, before an
Alexander~ brand product launch is feasible. And that
makes sense.
If youre a regular around here youll notice that
alexattitude.com has been quiet recently, thats cause Ive
been busy learning how to write properly... its going to be
updated soon with more advanced - long - articles about the
stuff you guys want to know about and the stuff you guys
can go out and use straightaway. Topics coming up soon
included rhythms in the club, frame control, responsivity
not reactivity, expression and impression, learning stages,
state, transformations part three, getting the set open, club
tricks, tips and funtimes and being unapologetic. All the
same sort of effort and quality that you have seen on
www.alexattitude.com in the last year or so.
I have a shitload to write, so Id better get onto to it.
Plenty of Alexander~ coming to you; for a long time to




28 points, Article By Alexander~,

Wednesday, August 5th, 2009
These are the first 25 points that come to mind, in no order
of importance, I may have left some things out, but there
are the most common mistakes of natural game that I see
being made all the time.
1. Be yourself. Be your best self. Be a man. Take
responsibility. Take action. Trust yourself. You are enough.
These are all one and the same thing. Where people get lost
is in idea of transition or change, acting out of character or
whatever. Forget all that. Being yourself means following
your core purpose and purest intentions free from socially
conditioned influence. You will make mistakes when you
do this, but thats natural because interactions are
subjective. Responsiveness is the answer to interaction
mistakes. Being your best self means you plus you taking
responsibility in life. Your physical nature as a man, and
your nurture that is individually unique to only you that sets
you apart.
2. Be natural. Its better to be natural and do things that
pick up would say are wrong, than to do the perfect pick up
according to the book. If the pickup is too perfect, if you
seem too seamless as a person you wont come off as
normal and you the girl wont take you seriously. When
your being natural you make mistakes. This makes sense to
the girl. In fact, you should make lots of mistakes, you
prove your worth (DHV) when you deal with your own

mistakes and other turbulence.

3. Dont calculate and micromanage. One of the first things

girls look for is evidence of the cogs in your head
grinding to see if you second guessing yourself and if
yourself aware. If you are self aware, calculating your
game, and trying to micromanage the interaction the girl
will instantly put you in the not alpha male category and
you are done even if you can string the set out a bit. If
youre not self aware, not calculating not micromanaging
that is to say if your present, in the moment and not self
aware you communicate to the girls that you are enough

and they categorise you as an alpha male and attractive.

This is what you want, its only when you second guess
yourself that you shoot yourself in the foot. So trust
yourself and keep things moving forwards for your own
4. Be unapologetic. This is the key to showing you are
congruence with who you are. Even if you fuck up you
didnt mean to, and you didnt intent to offend anyway.
Unapologetic is the key to getting away with anything,
similar to Stifler or James Bond. When your unapologetic
you can do what you want, get away with it, and ultimately
people will react to you, you dont react to them, youre the
source of a range of emotions and stimulation and this
makes you a man of value to them.
5. As a man, there is nothing someone can give you that
you cant get for yourself. As a result of natural evolution
men have become socially and emotionally autonomous
where are women are not. If you need people, especially
women on any level, especially for ego validation or
sense of self - youre being a bitch. You will never be
attractive. Remember that when you go out: your sense of
self and fulfilment is something you can achieve on your
own, this is not true for a woman. Realising this is the key
to a naturals frame.


6. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn. In life, time

will tick away whether you like it or not. Time is a constant.
Whatever you are doing in that constant of time will be
reinforced. If you are getting out there taking action,
moving forward, taking responsibility you will either
achieve things or learn things, making way for other
achievements. The worst thing you can do with your time is
nothing. Staying home, not going to the gym, not
approaching, or ejecting for a worthwhile set. If you arent
winning or learning something at every point in time in
your life you will be out of congruence with your man-ofaction innate trait and you will feel bad. When you win

and when you learn you feel good. Get out there. There is
no failure, there is just competent and not-yet-competent.
Here is the next instalment of common mistakes that guys
make when it comes to natural game.
7. Whatever you feel, she feels. Remember that women
dont judge you on your status, they dont judge you on
your looks or even on your words. They judge you and
react to you based on what feeling you influence them with.
That said, its most important that you are always feeling
good. Best way to do this is to be a man of action with a
path in life, someone who is ballsy and risk taking,
someone who is daring and someone who sets out with
positive intentions. You were born feeling good with self
esteem, so you know that if you get back to natural state
then you will feel good. Its only when you try and force
things or unnatural do you lose your default good feeling.
Be natural, be relaxed and you will achieve the very
important goal of feeing good most of the time, and
automatically make all girls feel good most of the time.
You will be a fun guy to be around.
8. State is chill, not fireworks. This is a big one, most
guys have no idea that state is not something exciting, not
something flashy or even something extravagant, the
coolest people you have known in your life and alpha males
all have a chill vibe about them. This is true state, what
Jeffy calls a burning coal. It is EASY to be consistently
chilled-out or relaxed, its as simple as adopting an its all
good attitude and having some willpower to not let petty

things get under your skin. If youre always operating from

an its all good attitude, and you dont get into bad state
by letting people or incidences (the external world) get to
you, then simply taking actions of your own choice
(following your core) will ignite the nimbus. You will draw
state from within. As a man its when youre doing
something you want to do that youre most aroused. You
influence others with this arousal and it makes you
attractive. This state, unlike fireworks state, is the infinite
well and never burns out making you always attractive.

9. Others ARE socially conditioned, have empathy. It

doesnt matter what you have read or what manipulative
tricks you know, IF WHAT YOUR DOING DOENST


What that means is, if what youre doing as good or as
slick as you may think it is- doesnt make sense to the
people you are doing it to, you will simply be ignored or
not taken seriously. Have an awareness of how those
around you are socially conditioned and be responsive to
that. Start within the constraints of that, then lead the
interaction in your direction your reality. Just as
important, if you continue on, not aware that the way your
approaching people doesnt make sense to them, they will
think you lack empathy and give rise to ignore responses
or straight up blow outs. Be calibrated, use your brains and
your empathy.

10. If the girl isnt gaming you, youre not going to have

sex with the girl. Its true that people value something they
have to work for, or something they think of as higher
value than them. And this can be confusing if you are
learning cold approach pick up. How can I approach her,
then, get the girl gaming me? Furthermore, to think that
you have to game the girl implies that you are lesser than
her, and this implication with become a self fulfilling
prophecy to the girl you are interacting with. After all, the
way you approach her is the way she makes up her mind
about you. The way to get the girl gaming you is in the
VALUE INVERSION POINT, what some people call the
transition or the point when you go from 90/10 to 50/50
talking ratios. Go in chat, even entertain her and arouse
emotions. Then withdraw. This usually elicits a question
from the girl. Usually something chodely like where are
you from? or what do you do?. This is her gaming you,
once you get this going, keep it going, answer with
statements (obviously), express yourself to inspire
attraction and she will continue to game you. The more she
finds herself gaming you (unlike the way guys usually try
and game her) the more she will find herself liking you and
the closer youll be to sleeping with the girl.
11. Whatever you do, DONT try for rapport. There are
many levels of communication when two people interact
and there are subsets of communications within them. To
name a few there are verbal, non verbal and physical ways
to communicate; and if you want to be more technical there
are logical modalities and emotional modalities, direct or
indirect. The modalities arent as important as using them
to ensure you dont try for rapport. In any interaction

people automatically fall into a role of high value and low

value. If youre trying for rapport you will automatically
communicate low value, if you dont, you wont
communicate low value. To try and break rapport is tricky,
and to force it is actually a form of trying for rapport. What
you will find is that when you are completely natural, as a
man, you never try for rapport, and others automatically
respond by taking on a subordinate value to you.
12. The girl is down to fuck until otherwise proven
innocent. And most guys shoot themselves in the foot
pretty quickly, sometimes before they even approach.
Many guys fail to realise that girls are constantly on the
lookout for that special guy, in the same way we are on
the lookout for that one hot girl in a bikini. To guys, a girls
looks set her apart. But girls judge a guys behaviour, the
way you behave is where your potential to be seen as a
special guy lies. So when you start an interaction deep
down shes hoping to meet an awesome guy but doesnt
expect to, and she wouldnt even know what that looks like
when it ran some game on her. If you dont do anything
offensive, or socially retarded to get yourself blown out
then you give her a chance to start FINDING in you the
things she wants in a guy. Interpretation of behaviour is
very subjective, and it helps that the girl is making a
conscious effort in life to interpret guys in the way she
hopes to see them. So do less, stay in set, dont shoot
yourself in the foot and the you give the girl a chance to be
attracted to you.
13. Proactive DHVs communicate lower value. The

ideal of demonstrating higher value is as important in the

game now as it ever was. But to go out of your way to
demonstrate value to someone is really demonstrating
lower value. To tell a clever DHV story to a girl, to do a
magic trick or to run some elaborate routine is unnecessary.
Proactive DHVs are the actions of man with a mindset that
he is not good enough just as he is; as opposed to a guy
who just assumes value. Girls derive their attraction to you,
or not, based on your mindset (which automatically
generates your behaviours and autopilot responses).
Proactive DHVs is like showing a girl your Ferrari Key
chain no good because your saying to the girl that guy
hiding behind the key chain isnt enough. If youre a cool
guy the girls will know automatically, if youre not cool
they will know just as quickly.
14. Beating congruence tests is the way to overtly DHV.
If you have even known a cool person in your life you will
know that it wasnt them who convinced you they were
cool, someone eluded you to the fact, or their value or
coolness became apparent when they successfully dealt
with a testing situation. They dont need to convince you
theyre cool because theyre already aware they are, you
only realise theyre cool once you get to know them. These
types of guys are usually extremely chill and unstifled. In
the club, what this translates to, is being nicely
conversational and expressive. As you talk to the girl
youre bound to elicit congruence tests because thats what
girls do, and the way they interpret you is subjective. If you
get a test, an awkward lull in conversation, a we have to go
with our friends, an I have to go to the bathroom or a

personal challenge from the girl this is your opportunity to

demonstrate higher value with a Positive-Dominant
response. You overtly show you can think for yourself, deal
with tricky situations, are unreactive and you go for what
you want.
15. Confidence is binary; youre either confident or
youre a complete chode. You cant be ninety percent
confident. Close but almost confident really means that
you are just a bitch or pretending to be a chode. The best
understanding I have of confidence is confidence happens
when you perceive that nothing holds you back. Thats why
five year old kids can be just as confident as multi
billionaires or rock stars. Its all about not having a care in
the world. Girl make a very quick attraction judgement
based on your confidence which is conveyed in your
behaviours. If you hold yourself back in any way... you lose.
If you dont put any mental obstacles between yourself and
what you are out to achieve your confident; youre
16. Uncomfortable is the magic word. You know how
many chodes complain that with girls no means yes and
yes means no, this isnt exactly true but it is true that girls
dont logically communicate what theyre emotionally
feeling. Why do they do this? To see what your made of, if
you trust yourself and if you have balls. Its a pure alphaness and attractiveness gauge. Most guys dont realise that
girls very rarely communicate socially in the logical and
verbal realm, most of what is said becomes redundant, and
when you open your eyes to the emotional channels you

will understand women much better. Most guys take a

simple no, or a lack of enthusiasm from women as gospel,
when realy its just a test. I can guarantee that you can take
most sets or interactions MUCH further than you think you
can, and she wants to see if you have the balls to.
Sometimes you will be miscalibrated or you will reach your
limits of the set or escalation... you will know when the
limit of the interaction is when the girls uses the word
uncomfortable or any translation of that.
17. Indications of interest is when the girl is quiet and
attentive. Did you used to read the old emails that
advocated that a girl liked you when she licked her
lips/played with her hair/touched your arm/took off her
skirt? Most did, and most guys are looking for some kind of
guidelines to when a girl likes him so he can eliminate the
risk of rejection and his chode world coming collapsing
down. Whats worse is when youre searching for
traditional IOIs you set out to suck them out of the girl
which makes your behaviour even worse. Furthermore,
girls rarely think to themselves yes Jessica, I like this guy,
I hope he will kiss me in the night Im sure that does
happen, but if youre waiting for that then youre not going
to get the girl because you will miss your window of
opportunity. A part of her liking you is when you assume
she is interested in you, she will be attracted to a guy with
that reality. So, if your still looking for a way to tell if a girl
might be interesting in becoming attracted to you look for
the ones that are nervous and attentive to you. Quiet, but
paying attention to you. This is the same behaviour that a
guy would exhibit for a girl that he was very attracted to.

18. Dont know; grow. If youre coming into the

community looking to learn how to become a guy who is
good with girls it makes sense to you that you need to
logically learn something in order to become a guy who is
good with girls. No, the game isnt about learning the
game is all about growing. The reason why ideas, moves
and techniques can be appealing is the way they inflate
your ego and your false sense of self. Really, knowing
inflates your ego, messes up your identity and suppresses
your natural self beneath it. To learn human interaction is a
intuitive, intangible thing and very difficult to measure.
Unless you have academy award winning acting skills there
is no way to truly fake it till you make it with learned
knowledge because incongruence will still be
communicated. Use the knowledge you are gathering from
others to guide your growth and change your mindset so
you can grow into the guy that you are supposed to be.
19. It is impossible to become a guy who is good with
girls. Although the allure of the community advertises that
you can become a pimp with women and you will be able
to fuck 10s it is wrong to say that you will ever be a guy
who is good with girls. To say that, is to say that you are
above the process and you are not a guy who is going to
take action. To identify with being good with girls is to
cease to take action on a daily basis and lazily rest on your
laurels. If you dont take action then you will cease to
approach, cease to move things forward and cease to be
good with girls. Some guys get a sharp reality shock when
they realise that they cant ever become a guy whos good

with girls. But the sooner you realise its a futile pursuit
the sooner you realise that you have to continue to take
action on any given night in any given set. As a man it is
correct to identify with being a man of action because
thats what you physically and biologically are. Instead of
looking to achieve the identity of being a guy whos good
with girls seek to identify yourself as a guy who is always
continuing to get good with girls. This is the road to Pick
up mastery.
20. Inspire attraction, dont seduce it. Express yourself,
dont impress others. Whether or not you can be attractive
to someone is completely subjective and thus,
unpredictable. You can have no idea what will turn on
different people, especially when you are cold approaching
lots of them. So instead of focusing your efforts on what
will impress them and what impression you are going to
make, do the things that is sure to inspire attraction in
everyone. When you shift your focus from setting out to
impress people to, instead, expressing yourself and doing
the things that you know will inspire attraction; youre
reality strengthens significantly, others react to you, you
become unstifled and most importantly you have lots of fun.
They fact that youre not out to seduce attractive form
women and instead are out to inspire it communicates to
women you approach that you have all the trust in yourself
that you have enough and are enough to be attractive to
them. You inspire it in women, you dont need to trick it
out of them, and they come to you.
21. Be involvement worthy. The best way to go about

natural game is to be someone worthy of involvement. The

best way to think of being good at natural game is to be
continually asking yourself Am I being involvement
worthy?. This paradigm has massive emphasis on
responsibility, pro-activity and leading. When you
continually ask yourself am I involvement worthy you
move into a headspace where you are continually drawing
on yourself to get things started, move conversations
forward, formulate ideas and extrapolate social
opportunities. In accordance with other natural game
principles you know that youre not going to get the girl
unless shes gaming you, if youre conversational, assertive
and making situations fun then the girls will take it upon
themselves to make the most of your time and vie for more
of it. Being involvement worthy is like wild male animals
expressing themselves hoping to find a mate. In this day
and age the guy who has the most to say, is the least stifled
and the most expressive that will be the most involvement
worthy and get the most girls.
22. Get yourself into state. One of the primary differences
between men and women is where they get their state from.
Women get their state from their environment, whereas
men dont. Higher forces take care of womens state, but
men are indifferent to them. A mans default state is a chill
relaxed positive feeling, in a noisy pumping venue, thats
your baseline, but thats not enough to be calibrated. A
mans state is proportionate to his ability to be present,
positive, dominant and active. If youre not getting yourself
into state the environment will eclipse you and put you
deep inside your head. Get busy, do something positive;

entertain yourself with stupid bar games. Do something

dominant; arm wrestle your friends, lead a girl by the hand,
be loud or stand up tall. Do something pro-active, open sets,
move around, dance and escalate with girls. These are the
best ways to get into state. Another rule of thumb is
motion is emotion, take action and move yourself around,
dance, clap your hands and bob your knees and state will
come. No one else will do it for you.
23. Keep Things Simple While Learning. Once you make
a significant transformation towards a guy who is in
congruence with himself you will realise that natural game
is a minimalist thing; youre strong reality and intent
leading the girl with continual calibrated responsivity. But
if you still have lots of mental noise from residual social
conditioning make an effort to keep things simple, your end
goal should always be no mind, all intuition. So when you
go out make an effort to think about only three things for
once. If your new, three good things are friendly,
unapologetic, draw state from within. A more intermediate
three might be assertiveness with a smile, lead, cant get
blown out from escalating and an advanced three might be
every man starts equal, be 100% honest with yourself and
others, and persistence beat resistance. If you go out while
youre learning the game with truckloads of theory
spinning around in your head you will only get out of state
and reverse good progress you have made. Its likely that
you would be so inside your complicated head that you
dont even approach.
24. There is no such thing as a crush; ice cream theory.

The classical notion of having a crush on a girl is one of

the most unnatural and destructive forces that counter
natural game. The Dynamics of the crush is one of the
biggest limiting factors fort guys learning natural game. To
have a crush on a girl is to build up an idea of her in your
own mind that is completely fabricated and usually vastly
different from reality. People think they have a crush on a
girl because having a girl who is their type appeals to
their ego and their attempt to project a particular sense of
self. You dont know a person, or a girl, until you have
spent a lot of time with them. Its natural that you treat
everyone equally and dont assume anything and wait and
see if you cultivate affection for the girl or not. When you
develop a crush on a girl you go into chode mode. Even
when you get the girl you have a crush on you will
eventually get a reality shock when you realise what you
thought she was isnt what she actually is. All attractive
girls are good. Like flavours of ice cream, appreciate them
all, and after lots of experience then you can develop a
25. For cold approaches social versatility is the most
important thing, clicking. On the broadest scale of
picking up girls from cold approaches socially versatility is
the most important thing. Not your skills, or your methods
or structures. If you are going to make cold approaches on
strangers you need to have the versatility and
manoeuvrability in who you are and your personal
boundaries in order to click with and get into conversation
with anyone. An egotistical person usually has an identity
that hold blind spots and can cause him to have friction

with new people that he meets including girls hes cold

approaching. An easy going type of guy, a guy with self
esteem and no ego, isnt restrained by a reality and an
identity that he is bound to or that he feels he has to
project onto others. The result is he clicks with everyone
and assumes nothing. When you are a fluid and socially
versatile, egoless, guy you become someone that everyone
likes to hang out with because they are all coming from the
same headspace of trying to make an impression. When
they interact with you they will feel as though they have
made just the impression they want, and you will stoke
their ego. Stoking the ego of others especially girls, leaves
them wanting more of it, people will look to you to fill
their bucket with a hole in it.
26. Its incongruent of you not to be sexual. One of the
things that students of natural game most often forget is
their tenancy to be sexual. A nice guy who has undergone
the transformation to sexworthy guy was once a nice guy
and still harbours reserved and stifled physical tendencies.
If your an alpha male and attractive to girls, and you dont
have a physical and sexual dimension to your game, girls
will become weirded out by you and leave you cold. When
you become advanced your approach will be great and
most girls will like you a lot immediately, but sooner or
later if you dont take things sexual you will miss your
window of opportunity. If you dont have the sexual and
physical dimension to your game the girls will have a
bruised ego that a guy who they liked and found was
attractive didnt want to make a move on her and they will
quickly disassociate with you to minimalize ego bruising.

Or, they will go from thinking you are a fun dominant

alpha male, to thinking you are just a garden variety nice
guy, and no girls are attracted to a nice guy.
27. The most important thing is to feel good, be fulfilled
not happy. The first judgement a girl will make of you
when you cold approach her is whether or not she gets a
good feeling from you. Do you increase her life experience
or do you take away from it. Its all well and good to be
happy in the club, but a happy feeling is a fleeting and
superficial thing. If you have fulfilment in your life then
you will constantly have a feeling of confidence, security
and positivity. Girls are not necessarily looking for a happy
feeling from guys, they are looking to him to she is he feels
good, fulfilled and secure in himself, to hang out with a guy
who is fulfilled and secure in himself will give a girl very
good feelings and she will know if your fulfilled in your
life almost immediately. To be fulfilled have a purpose and
a direction in life, this is to be in congruence with always
being a man of action. Others ways to find fulfilment as a
man are to positively lead others, take action and always be
progressing. Simple things to achieve to ensure you have
good natural game when it comes to cold approaching.
28. There is no right thing to say, its the right thing to
say because you are the one whos saying it. This is the
best possible summary of natural game, and it in sharp
contrast to traditional ideas about game. On the purest level
natural game is about being resourceful and relying on
yourself. This ties in with idea of creativity, spontaneity
and turning nothing into something. Evolutionarily, it was

the cavemen who could completely rely on themselves and

trust themselves not need advice or guidance from others
that set off the attraction triggers in cave womens heads.
A man who can turn nothing into something through action
an responsibility has evolutionary advantages that other
dont have, and a guy like this generates natural attraction,
and is good at natural game. When you realise that there is
no one right thing to do or say at any time in the game
you become unstifled in such a way that you can do
everything with conviction whether good or bad - and this
communicates confidence and inspires attraction. The
minute you look to others to for the right thing to do or say
you communicate all the wrong things. When you realise
that there is nothing right to say its as though a weight
has been lifted off your shoulders, and you establish an
unwavering feeling of fulfilment and posivity in you that
will make you an elite level natural gamer.
Here are the 28 points in their entirety.
Be yourself
Be Natural.
Dont calculate and micromanage
Be unapologetic
As a man, there is nothing someone can give you that you
cant get for yourself


Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.

Whatever you feel, she feels8. State is chill, not fireworks.
Others ARE socially conditioned, have empathy.
If the girl isnt gaming you, youre not going to have sex
with the girl.
Whatever you do, DONT try for rapport.
The girl is down to fuck until otherwise proven innocent.
Proactive DHVs communicate lower value.
Beating congruence tests is the way to overtly DHV.
Confidence is binary; youre either confident or youre a
complete chode.
Uncomfortable is the magic word.
Indications of interest is when the girl is quiet and attentive.
Dont know; grow.
It is impossible to become a guy who is good with girls.
Inspire attraction, dont seduce it. Express yourself, dont
impress others.


Be involvement worthy.
Get yourself into state.
Keep Things Simple While Learning.
There is no such thing as a crush; ice cream theory.
For cold approaches social versatility is the most important
thing, clicking
Its incongruent of you not to be sexual.
The most important thing is to feel good, be fulfilled not
There is no right thing to say, its the right thing to say
because you are the one whos saying it.
...Print it out and put it somewhere youre going to read it
every day.
PS. Longer articles on all of these in due course.




BY Alexander~ | September 2nd, 2009 at 10:40 AM

Some Not So In-Depth Ideas about Rapport
I originally had the intention of writing a very long
academic article about rapport because it's very in-depth,
but for now here are some preliminary ideas for you to take
onboard and put into practice in the meantime.
With the evolution away from the traditional style of game,
the idea of rapport has seen a lot less attention than it used
to see. From a chode's point of view, getting to know a girl
or gaining rapport with her, is what he thinks is the key to
getting in with her, and this is still true. But, with the
intense positive dominance and flaming Nimbus at RSD
centres all around the world, the whole idea of comfort
game and rapport has been superseded altogether and been
replaced by one night stand focus and simply letting intense
attraction get you girls. Rapport is being dangerously
In my experience, the better the girl is all-around the
more options she has, the more tests you have to pass to get
that girl. There are countless examples of where this isnt
the case, but quality persistence beats resistance, and it's
rapport that happens during that persistence.
But before you get caught up thinking about rapport in the
traditional sense of the game, forget about it. Those ideas
are nowhere near as good as natural game ideas. Rapport
doesnt arise from mere interaction time or elaborate

twirly-whirly techniques. Rapport with a girl getting to

know her, comes from your integrity. How quickly and
how deeply you have rapport with her comes down to how
closely who you are and what you do are in congruence.

To have integrity is by definition (in this context), when

what you do is the same as what you think. So, your actions
line up with your mindset, as opposed to being
manipulative, lacking authenticity, or having an ego. If you
dont have integrity, people dont know exactly who you
are or what you're about. If they dont know you, they cant
gain rapport with you. When you do have integrity, people
know who you are and this gives rise to the very backbone
of rapport: TRUST. When they trust you because what they
see is what theyre getting, they can make a massive
emotional investment in you and know it to be trustworthy.

Voila, you have rapport.

Think of examples when you have met people who you can
just instantly get along with: who you instantly trust. They
are trustworthy because of the behavioural dichotomy I
mentioned above. But most importantly, they dont
manipulate you. Instead, they have integrity. You feel like
you can trust them and most often you instantly do. These
sorts of people are the keepers of lots of other peoples'
People who are cool or popular have massive rapport with
everyone because they have integrity just the same with
everyone they meet. The social characteristics of someone
who has integrity and thus gains deep rapport with
everyone he meets is chillness, openness and personal
boundaries. He's calm and level-headed. He's expressive
because he has nothing to hide or be ashamed about, and he
knows when to draw the line on how people are calling him
out or bossing him around. Basically he can click with
anyone and chat to anyone for a long time, further
emphasizing rapport and a hot girl's trust in you as a man,
as opposed to her mistrust in other men.
Important as well is once you get into this mindset, girls
and other guys will almost instantly recognize you as a man
of integrity and categorize you as a cool or attractive guy.
This works massively in your favour when you are going
out picking up girls from cold approaches.
The longer you spend with a girl, the more she will test you.

The more she tests you, the more she gets to know who you
are and what sort of guy you are. The more she knows what
kind of a guy you are, the better she trusts you and gains
rapport with you. The better she trusts you, the sooner she
will be comfortable to be intimate with you: you get the girl.
If you have the integrity, you will emaciate congruence
tests and very quickly establish trust, not as a function of
your moves or lines, but simply because you are an
awesome guy.
If you are not yet an awesome guy, then you have some
work to do, and the best way to do that is through social
immersion by learning about yourself, others, the world,
and exploring your boundaries. Sometimes you forget who
you are if you dont have an avenue by which to express
yourself. Without that, your sense of self can dissolve into
nothing and leave you with a weak reality and little to trust.
So for the beginners, here are some guidelines...
There are two types of rapport: wide rapport and deep
rapport. Wide rapport is where you ask lots of general
questions like where are you from?, what is your job?,
whats your all time favourite movie? and that sort of
thing. You can throw out as many as fifty of these sort of
questions in a short amount of time and there's a good
chance you'll have at least a few things in common with the
girl, or you will stumble onto topics that lead you to find
commonalities with the girl. Also, while you have this sort
of conversation you get back in touch with yourself and
you give the girl a chance to revel in herself as well.


With deep rapport you have a chance to cultivate trust with

the girl by asking more soul-searching questions that help
to communicate with her core and help you to get in touch
with and express your own core. Questions like what were
you like when you were growing up?, what is your dream
job?, who are your heroes in life? and what are some of
the most important things you are going to teach your
children? cut straight to the core of a person and call on
them to express their more guarded emotions and their real
If you can get in a situation where you are talking from
your real self to the girl's real self, you have a situation
where both of you have high integrity with each other,

plenty of trust and great rapport. Keep on chatting for ages

and rapport gets deeper and deeper and deeper. The sign
in the attraction equation indicates that the better you get to
know the girl the more she is going to be attracted to you.
Another important way to think about rapport is the extent
to which a girl makes an emotional investment in you. And
from that investment, like everyone, she wants a return
from it. But beware that if you make more of an emotional
investment in her than she does in you then shes going to
be less outcome-dependant on a return than you are, and
you will drive the girl away.
Bottom line though is that the better you get to know her,
the quicker, and better you will be at picking up girls.
Have integrity, get girls.


Alex~ 2.0
Sunday, September 20th, 2009
Im at the beginning, the middle, and the end.
Ive been working for RSD for nearly three years now. All
around the world.
It is commonly recognized that to reach the apex of your
personal growth in this transformations game a period of
about four years is required. In four years a guy can
squeeze every last drop of transformative juice out of the
community. Before you are irreversibly changed for the
So Im about halfway there. Or something like that. For me,
I think it will keep going after that, this is what I was meant
to do. Since I was ten when I had my heart set on becoming
a psychologist. Im in the middle of one of the most
valuable opportunities any 24 year old could possibly
dream of. No actually, I could never have dreamt of this
life, only someone with a mind like Papa could have
dreamt up something like this.
Im right in the middle of a group of like-minded, hard
working, dedicated and seemingly indestructible dudes.
There is no more centred and reassuring place to be.
Its is the end.
About five months ago I decided to get out of the game due
to almost HALF A DOUZEN life and death situations that

found me off guard, all at once. This included funerals,

hospital visits and illnesses to ones I loved. It included the
disintegration of the groups of people that I called my
The groups that I felt I identified with I started with RSD
broke apart and broke ties with one another, leaving me
standing alone, wiping tears from peoples eyes let right and
centre. There were seriously tears everywhere I looked,
sometimes Id look though my own. It was the antithesis of
But that experience grounded.me and helped to me to
remember the absurdity of my privilege.
The last emotional thread between me now, and me as a
moronic and immature-world-hating fuckwit, was severed.
This severance resulted in the most emotional bloodshed of
all the events. It was the relationship with the person that I
was closest to, and had invested the most love into.
The more I invested myself into the relationship, the more I
realised it wasnt going to be. I saw it disintegrate in front
of me, like so many other things had, but this was the one
that hurt the most. I learnt valuable lessons, the kinds of
which that can only come from acute emotional
In the end, there isnt much waiting for me back home.
What home? The groups of people that I used to belong to
have gone, and I grew apart from those most significant to
me. In the end I decided the right thing to do was to make

the most of my absurd opportunity and cease my efforts to

take responsibility or try to fix things when it wasnt my
place to.
Which leaves the beginning.
Ive been riding the emotional roller coaster for long
enough to make me feel sick, vomit and leave an
unforgettably bad taste in my mouth. Enough to make me
actually stop and THINKfor once.
I cant think of anyone else in the world in my unique
I and I think its despicable that I dont share my
opportunity, what Ive learned, my goals and what Ive
experienced with the world.
Im 24 now, I was flown to over 70 cities all over the world
in order to pick up girls. Jeez, tough life huh? I have the
infrastructure around me to publish a book, or 10 books, if I
wanted. All I have to do is write them. And eventually I
have the opportunity to release a self help program. My
very own self help program focusing on how to pick up
girls, form my perspective: RSD2.0, natural, honest and
through being yourself.
Articulated in a way that has never been done before.
In this job its easy to just take your paycheck, get drunk,
laze around and sleep in. To do your Bootcamps and that be
IT. Some people would go to any lengths to have this job.
Its only now that I actually truly APPRECIATE that fact.

I pledge to make the most of it.

Right now I know, of the executive coaches, that most guys
have partners, or have already released major self help
programs. Some guys just do RSD part time.
I always wanted to be a psychologist, and I always wanted
to INFLUENCE people. I have been given that chance, and
fully appreciate it after the last four emotional months.
Some people want the profile of PICK UP HERO, its
really not all that awesome, the lifestyle is amazing, but the
hero worship isnt that great unless you love admiring
men asking you whether or not you should wear vertical or
horizontal stripes on their shirts to help give them a better
I dont want hero times, I want influence times. That way
the advice given is taken seriously and the adviser can
actually instigate change. A more influential source is more
readily believed and implemented then a non-influential
source, obviously.
Knowing things that can help people but keeping them to
yourself is not the right thing. People may or may not want
to help themselves, but the right thing to do it make it
Even then, theres about a million self help books out there
that crap on about helping thy-self, but just about NONE of
them actually work with real live people, in the real world,
under real pressure, in every conceivably variable situation.


And those who have come close dont use an academic

scientific method in their research and reporting.
As far as I know, I have a unique perspective, and can
significantly further the PROFOUND work that those who
have gone before me in RSD have published.
Poor is the student who does not surpass his master[s].

So, it begins.
Alexander~ is back, with no other purpose in life than to
test, prove, print and publish from a new perspective.
Its what I always wanted to do since I was ten. And still
love doing it.
Dont change channels




BY Alexander~ | November 11th, 2009 at 11:22 AM

The Best Ever Date
I know that Jeffy, Ryan and Christophe claim to have the
best day two known to man. Theyve tried and tested it
successfully many times over, even I tried out their day two
scenario while I was up there. The girl loved me, which
made sense, but Ryan and I fast got into a situation where
we both loved the same Girl, while her friend was
definitely a minger, and as the night wore on it seemed that
the minger liked that old Sparky and for the purposes of
winging, he was going to end up with her.


We did the date. We drank the cheap San Francisco sangria,

and car slammed the girls before taking them back to
Jeffys house where Ryan lived and I stayed. We were all
pretty drunk. I was on with my girl and I think the minger
was warming up to Ryan times of love that night but
Ryan wasnt warming up to this idea, and he didnt like the
idea I was with the cuter of the two girls either. He and I
are extremely competitive. Credit to him though, hes
beating me this year.
Back at Jeffys house my date and I were kissing. Out of
nowhere, the minger friend comes charging downstairs,
grabs my date from me mid-embrace and leads her out
the door.
Head spinning from makeout times and plenty of cheap
sangria I wondered why this had happened, and why had I
surely been the reason this girl would get the Blue Cunt.
Ryan answered my questions with his brief, slurred and
pissed-off explanation.
He said he was pissed that he had to occupy the minger
friend, but he did his best in the interests of Alexander~. He
took his girl on a brief tour of the house then lead her to his
bedroom, where she eagerly followed. He pointed outside
at the stars, said the words look, romantic, then he
pointed at the bed and said look, bed and proceeded to
take off his clothes except for his socks.
And due to Ryans tolerance for the minger running out and

him getting arrogant with her, she ran downstairs and

pulled a great escape on me. Funny times Ryan, but I didnt
get laid so I argue my date is better.
I grew up in South East Queensland in Australia, with an
extreme scarcity mindset. For a long time, dates were few
and far between, so when I went on one about once every
solar equinox I wanted my date routine to be perfect.
With little time taken up by social engagements, I had
plenty of time to myself to plan the perfect date. When I
discovered this date, my prior chodely planning served me
well. The date went like this...


Before self-actualization, I used to get a lot of numbers

thinking that that was the goal, and of those numbers
maybe something might happen with one of the girls. For
the most part, they would just ignore the calls. And if I did
get them on the phone they didnt remember me, or they
didnt want to. When I did get them on the phone, I just
tried to convince them to see me. Yuk times, but once in a
while it worked.

Because I was a chode, I wanted to do elaborate date things

all the time. Like mystical adventures beyond the horizon
of Southern Brisbane, including music by Coldplay. Id
usually spend the entire day washing my car in preparation,
get a haircut, clean my room in case she came back home
with me and make sure I had nothing on the next day in
case it was going to be a long night.
Id like it when the girl met me at my place, that way we
would have to be back at my place by the end of the night.
Id never tell the girl what Id planned for us on the best
date of her life. Shed just show up then I'd whisk her away
in my car like a degenerate finding a crack rock on the
ground. Desperate times.
Then wed start driving, and it was quite a drive. My
destination was invariably the drive-in cinema.
Realistically, this was a pretty cool idea for a date - classic
movie for a date, but it was a bit different and creative. It's
just me and the girl, a chance to talk on the way there as it
was about an hour drive. All the while, the girl's
anticipation and curiosity would rise as she wondered
where I was taking her. The Drive-In was in the middle of
nowhere. I wonder in hindsight if they thought I was taking
them to meet their morbid end? 50-50.
On the drive, I planned a route that had plenty of landmarks
to talk about. I'd strategically turn up the radio to tease the
girl and make silly little jokes, like if shes silly she has to
walk home haha. The thing where you turn up the volume

of the stereo when the girl is talking is actually kinda funny

and a playful way to tease a girl, like flirting. All the while,
suspense built as to where we were going.
When monolithic silver screen rose up from the middle of
Yatala bushlands, the girl would make some kind of gleeful
chirping or humming sound and congratulate me for a good
idea and being clever. Another good thing about drive-ins
is that theyre pretty cheap compared to conventional
movies, but just as good quality as long as you have a
transparent windscreen. If you have a sick subwoofa, car
stereo, thats a bonus because you can tune your car radio
into the movie soundtrack.
There, I'd be all tough and order the girl to get me some
popcorn. Sometimes I'd make the if you dont do it you
have to walk home joke again. They would usually say it
wasnt funny the first time.
And then the movie played. And I really like watching
movies, so even if it was awkward with the girl I could just
watch the movie and eat my popcorn. Id also text people
so that I might get a text back, so the girl I was with saw
me getting heaps of texts and think I was cool.
But me watching the purpose served to get the girl inside
her head. After doing this drive-in movie thing 10-15 times
I was just so comfortable being there, in my car, with my
popcorn watching movies that the girls would frequently
ask me if everything was ok, as if to ask me if I was going
to make a movie on them or something... or just sit there

and watch the movie. I wanted to watch the movie. Plus,

others could see us and the car is kinda awkward, my car
was dirty and sticky to begin with.
The movie would conclude. We had rapport. She was
inside her head building anticipation and curiosity and I
still had to drive her back to my place. The thing that made
this such a good date is the next bit. After not making a
move during the movie, even though I could have, and
some of the time the girl even challenged me to, the
dynamic between me and her was not boy trying to score
with girl but rather, girl wondering why boy whos not
weird doesnt want to score with her?. Good dynamic.
So on the way home, wed drive to a city lookout that
wasnt mapped that Id found years earlier. Because I
didnt want the girl to know where it was, or find her way
back there I always asked them to close their eyes on the
drive up there. This served to build more suspense. Why
did I go to the lookout? I liked Coldplay and I was a
chode...a love of lookouts are part of that equation. I liked
to go there when I was clear and quiet at night to think. I
thought, I might as well bring the girl as well.
With her eyes closed, wed pull up and Id lead her handin-hand to the steps, guide her up them until the point
where she could see the entire city and when the view was
in front of her Id tell her to open her eyes. The walk,
where she had to hold my hands for guidance, was like
those trust test things you do at work where you have to fall
backwards, but far more sensual, where all she could smell

was my cologne and all she could hear was my voice.

When I first did this it was to keep my lookout a secret, but
I now realise how arousing this would have been.
Alone, with a great dynamic, with plenty of rapport and the
girl completely immersed in my quirky little world it was
usually on. I was never one to not make a move on a girl
except for one girl when I was a bitch. So up there wed
makeout for a bit. It was cold she we would have to be
close. We couldnt sit down so wed have to get close with
hugging and whatnot. And then, to get me back to the car
Id tell her to lead me back to the car with my eyes closed
this time. More fun for everyone, and more rapport as well.
By this stage I was usually well and truly in, and sometimes
I would start hooking up with girls in the car and get very
intimate there and then. But, most of the time I had to take
her back to my house where her car was waiting. But
olden-chode me of doom had planned this too. Before I
knew about the idea of seeding ideas for her to come back
into my house, I would always make sure she had plenty of
water or soda to drink on our date so that by the time we
got back to my place she was in dire need of a bathroom.
There were no proper bathrooms in the outback cinema or
at the lookout. This usually served the purpose to get the
girl into the house. Later on I wouldnt do this. Id either
just ask the girl inside, or show her Google Earth or the
electric blue African cichlids in my chode fishtank.
Once inside at my place, Id pretty much just make a move
and hope for the best. Some of the times this would work.

A lot of the time it wouldnt. But I began to enjoy going to

the drive-in movie and going to the lookout afterwards, that
I began to do it every time I had the rare chance to go on a
When I began to get into Real Social Dynamics and my
phone numbers began to get solid, I found myself taking up
to three girls a week to the cinema and the drive-in. At the
same time, I had a volley of texts going back and forth with
all the girls I was trying to play. To the girls I was on dates
with, it looked like I was a popular and in-demand guy and
it was becoming more and more true.
Once I made the shift from the scarcity to abundance
mindset, I took LOTS of girls on the date and had lots of
success with them. At one point, I stopped going on the
epic drive-in date from oer the horizon and instead took
them to a local cafe. The dates were just as successful,
because theyre attracted to the guy not the date, but it just
wasnt the same as popcorn in the Mitsubishi and driving
adventures with the girl. So I kept on going on the ultimate
date... and I still do, when in my home city.
Glory and growth,


Strength Of Reality.
Wednesday, November 25th, 2009
Somebody asked me recently on rsdnation: What does it
mean to have a strong reality, and why is it even
important? This was asked on a forum that focuses on how
to be attractive to women and how to be good at picking up
The short answer to this question is: a strong reality is
when you have a strong sense of self and a very strong
understanding and perception of the world around you, to
the point where you play a part in defining it. The reason
why it is important is because as a guy, you will always be
able to have a stronger reality than women. Men have an
ability to have a stronger reality than women (in an
emotional and social sense), because you can have a
stronger reality than women, you have something that they
dont and that is something of value to them. This makes
you attractive. Most importantly, when you have a strong
reality you automatically behave in a way that inspires a
womans attraction triggers. Attraction means getting girls;
this was the purpose of the question.
Thats a pretty complicated short answer with many
different components. It begs the following questions:
What makes a reality strong? How do I know when its
strong? What is a perception of the world? What does it
have to do with your sense of self? What are the differences
between mens realities and womens realities? If I dont
have a strong reality, how can I get one and how can I

keep it? How does having a strong reality make you behave
in attractive ways? All these things are massively important
to being good with women, but for most people they have
no idea this paradigm exists, or even what it means. So, Id
better answer the questions for everyone so your reality can
be stronger, you can behave in attractive ways and get lots
of hot girls in your life.
First of all you need to understand why its important for a
human to have a strong reality. Human beings, unlike most
organisms on Earth are social creatures. The reason why we
have evolved in the way that we have is because we have a
co-dependence on other people in our society or tribe. In
societies and tribes there is a culture, or a sociallyconditioned standard. In modern society, our culture is
socially-conditioned in ways that keep people in place, that
way they wont clash with each other, kill each other and
continue to drive primal natural selection.
So, because humans have evolved to want to fit into the
culture, they strive to form an identity that contributes to,
and is recognized, by their culture. Everyone wants to fit in
and be acknowledged by everyone around them. The usual
way of forming a strong reality is the age old struggle to fit
in and feel special. For example, take a 14th century village.
There is the village doctor, the village blacksmith, the
village drunk and the village idiot. Each of these people
have a role in society and they are acknowledged for their
role. When people meet them, they immediately understand
who they are and what they do. That way, they fit in. The
more they fit in, the more the collective co-dependence of

human society will protect them. When each of these

people fit into society, they feel secure.
This feeling of security gives these people a strong reality.
The feeling of security, and the formation of a strong
reality be it village doctor or village drunk brings with it
good feelings. On the deepest level, good feeling is the
natural innate impulse that drives every human being in
every single thing they do.
The reason why a modern day bum, or the example of the
village idiot, can live the way they do is that they feel
secure in who they are and what they do, and this gives
them a good feeling. The good feeling that comes from
feeling secure is significantly more powerful than the good
feelings that comes from having money and being
respected. That is the importance of fitting into human
society and culture. When you understand this, it will
become clear why people let themselves identify with being
assholes, bums, drunks, victims or any other negative
identity. They then, at least, have something to identity
with that gives them a strong reality that makes them feel
good, because they feel secure
People will look to have who they are reinforced over and
over again, in the things that they do and the ways in which
they behave. For example, sometimes you will meet stoners
who make a point to brag about how fucked up they got.
Or you might meet an athlete who makes a point to drop
into conversation how well he played. You might meet a
village drunk who will introduce himself to you as the
village drunk. In the community, you might meet someone

who identifies with being a victim or a chode. Even though

he doesnt want to be a chode, he automatically and
unconsciously does things to reinforce it because the
human brain has evolved to try and reinforce its sense of
self, so that the owner of the brain fits into society and
By that same standard, if you met a doctor and you failed to
acknowledge him in the way that he wanted you to
acknowledge him, then his ego (sense of self or identity)
would be bruised or he would work hard to get your
acknowledgement or validation. You as a human are part of
their society and another potential point of leverage for
people to use to reinforce their reality and feel good.
In understanding that all people are always seeking
validation and acknowledgement from the other people
around them to fit into society, you will also understand
that your strength of reality will always be determined by
how others see you. Furthermore, you will understand that
you will always be at the mercy of how others see you
which carries with it massive amounts of anxiety or bad
feelings because you worry about not fitting in. So most
people set out to make themselves rich, famous or
something they THINK will get them massive and
consistent acknowledgement from everyone they meet, to
give them a massive and consistent good feeling. Some
people do achieve this, like successful movie stars, rock
stars, drug lords or sports stars. They would have a
massively strong reality because everyone acknowledges
them consistently for their role in society.

But the bigger this bubble of acknowledgment grows, the

more potential it has to burst. That is to say, as good as you
can feel and as strong as your reality can grow through
consistent social acknowledgment, it can also feel just as
bad if you dont get acknowledged and then your reality
can be shattered. Similar to an Achilles heel.

A great example are rock stars. They strive to become a

great musician and they strive to become well-known and
famous. Soon, if they are good enough and they do become
famous, then everyone knows their name and they know
what they are famous for. At this point, they would be on
top of the world and think they have realized what they set
out to achieve a super strong and invincible reality.
Everyone sees them the way they want to be seen, which
leads the rock star to see himself the way everyone is
seeing him. Because he, like all human beings, understands
that fitting into society is important for survival, he takes
societys perception of him seriously.
But, if society turns on the rock star or questions the rock
star then he will be inclined to take the criticism just as

seriously as he took the positive reinforcement. In

interviews with rock stars, they often say that the fame isnt
all its cracked up to be. Many rock stars end up turning to
drugs to deal with problems arising from skewed and
intense fluctuations in social feedback and fluctuations in
their reality. With the fluctuations in their reality comes
fluctuations in how good they can feel about themselves.
Drugs are often the answer because only they can provide a
feeling good enough to rival the sort of social validation
that a rock star gets.
Interestingly, I think a persons innate awareness of their
society provides a biological explanation for peoples
spirituality. If every human is born with a mechanism in
their brain to be aware of the higher power that is their
society around them which they need to fit into to survive,
could it be that this is misunderstood by most people as
God, religion or spirituality?
That distinct feeling that most people get of a higher
power or of something that is bigger than them is
interpreted by a lot of people to be a God or a spiritual
force. I wonder if this distinct feeling of a higher power
isnt actually a God or a spiritual force, but rather just every
human beings evolved mechanism in their brain that
makes them acutely aware of, and pay respect to, the
society in which they belong?


People fear, trust, have faith in and react to Gods and

spirituality in the same way that they fear, trust have faith
in and react to their society and the people around them. I
Personally believe in evolutionary theory, but always
wondered why I had distinct feelings of spirituality that
others attributed to religion. I could never reconcile the two.
My best guess now is that the spiritual feeling I
experienced was my innate awareness of a higher power
that isnt the work of God or deities, but rather my inborn
evolved mechanism in my physical brain that serves to pay
attention to the social culture around me.
Awareness of society as a higher power helps me to
understand that I belong to a bigger force, human society,
that I depend on to survive. I, like everyone else, is
biologically driven to fit in more and more, to build a
strong reality as reinforced and validated by the people
around me.
This need for an externally reinforced reality and a desire to
fit in is true for most people, but not alpha males and those
who have alpha mindsets. Understanding that spiritual
feelings and that your awareness of a higher power is just
an evolved mechanism in your brain is very important

when it comes time to trusting yourself and making your

own decisions that go against the way you have been
socially conditioned.
Once we establish the fact that most people are striving to
form and reinforce their reality, we can understand and
explain why, for the most part, everyone you meet is
insecure in one way or another. Usually people are a lot
less secure than the way they behave when theyre around
you and the way they interact with you. These feelings of
insecurity go hand-in-hand with feelings of un-fulfillment,
which most people struggle with on a daily basis. Feelings
of un-fulfillment means you will be unattractive, and it
means you wont pick up girls for a few reasons. Firstly,
girls are attracted to guys who are natural and the first sign
of a natural guy is if he feels fulfilled in life and with
himself, usually exhibited by an overt good feeling or state
if the guy feels fulfilled and good he will instantly inspire
attraction in the girl. Secondly by nature, the way a man
forms his reality is different to the way a woman forms her
Ultimately, a man has an ability to have a stronger reality
than a woman, so if you have feelings of fulfilment and
good state as a result its a reflection that you have a strong
reality and you have something of value to her, and she is
attracted to you because you can offer her a sense of
security and the good feeling she gets from that. This
means you will be better at picking up the girl because the
girl will instantly categorize you as the sort of guy she
would want to be with.

A strong reality can come in two forms, but both of these

forms are characterised by certain behaviours. When I did
my Bootcamp many moons ago at a time when the
Blueprint was still on the cusp of release, JLAIX taught me
the importance of four things: core confidence,
unreactiveness, offering value and being assertive. To be
honest I didnt really understand what these things meant,
nor did I have any idea how it would help me pick up girls,
and at the time I was pretty deeply immersed in all things
self-help. So I imagine that other less learned students of
the game would really struggle with comprehending these
concepts, let alone implementing them
Core confidence, unreactiveness, offering value and being
assertive are all behaviours that inspire attraction in women.
Not because of the behaviours themselves, but because they
are the markers that youre an alpha male and thus,
desirable to be with. On a superficial seminar level on
bootcamp, these things made no sense to me, because they
cant be internalized through a seminar or reading online.
They need to be internalised through life experience, and
during my bootcamp those things were indeed internalized
and have continued to be ever since.


These things inspire attraction in women because men form

their reality differently than women. The difference in
mens and womens realities provide mutual evolutionary
advantage, which has driven natural selection and left us
with the genes we have inherited today. One way to
demonstrate this difference is the caveman example, where
men do the choosing and make the decisions and women
vie to be chosen or that man take risks to make progress
and women question taking risks to mitigate danger. Again,
of course, Im just speaking emotionally and socially. In
modern day, women and men are completely equal. But it
is in the emotional and social realm that attraction and
picking up girls exists. While men and women should form
their realities differently, most men dont behave like real
men or alpha males. Instead, they act like women as well.
These sorts of guys are called beta males, but are more well
known as little bitches.
Before we look at the way a strong male reality is formed
with core confidence, unreactiveness, offering value and
being assertive, we first need to look at the female reality
and beta male realty which is one and the same thing. For
the purpose of understanding this, think of it in terms of
females, beta males and alpha males in caveman times. The
alpha male has an alpha reality and is self-reliant, so much

so that others look to rely and depend on him. The females

and the beta males have to rely on others. In a physical
sense, all men have the potential to rely on themselves
whereas women do not, especially during pregnancy the
primary difference between men and women.
Through the process of evolution, women have developed
an alpha/beta recognition system that rivals telepathic mind
reading. When they sense the alpha male, they feel very
strong attraction. When they sense the beta, they feel no
attraction at all. If you can inspire women to feel attraction,
then you pick up girls. If you cant do this, then you wont
and there are a lot of people out there who dont get laid.
In animal culture, all the females have an innate urge to
mate with the one alpha male, whereas the beta males get
left behind in the gene pool. This is not necessarily true in
human culture, but its a similar dynamic. All the females
look at the alpha male first and do silly things to make him
their own (if they have the self-esteem to think theyre
good enough for him). A commonly recited fact is that 20%
of guys sleep with 80% of women. This is true the men
who behave like alpha males in todays society sleep with
all of the women. Those that dont are not alpha males and
are not getting laid. In modern society, how do women
know if a man is an alpha male or not?


In this day and age, there are probably a lot of men who
have enough money to be self-reliant (a provider) and have
a woman rely on him, yet these men dont behave like
alpha males. Through natural selection. women are simply
hard-wired to be attracted to men who BEHAVE like alpha
males. The way alpha males behave is with core confidence,
unreactiveness, offering value and being assertive the
same ways that primitive males behaved in ancient times
that caused females to evolve a recognition system in their
brain that feels attraction for men who behave in certain
ways, regardless of their modern day social status.
A modern day alpha male might be the head of a
corporation, someone who inherited a company or someone
born into privilege, but because they didnt earn it or
because reality has taken responsibility for them, instead of
them having to become an alpha male by taking
responsibility for their reality, many modern-day alpha
males dont behave with core confidence, unreactiveness,
offering value or being assertive, and hence they do not
inspire attraction. Sometimes modern day alpha-males do
have the mindsets and behaviours of a traditional alpha

male Donald Trump is an example of this. Even though

he is not the prettiest looking billionaire, I would image
that if he was to lose his fortunes he would still inspire
attraction in women. His mindsets and behaviours that have
led to him to massive international business success would
be the same mindsets and behaviours that would inspire
attraction in women. Richard Branson is another example
of this
There is the Alpha male reality and there is the Beta
male/female realities. This is best described

The most important thing to note is that the Beta/female

reality is held in place by forces projecting inwards onto it
from the world around it. Its held in place by society and
social feedback. The more it is held in place, the more
social reinforcement an beta male/female receives, the
stronger their reality is going to be. This is a representation
of the notion of a bucket with a hole in it. It is the sense of
self and reality that cannot be fulfilled and continually

requires external reinforcement. So much so that it can

literally become a draining force on others around it. If I
was to show this diagrammatically it would look like this.
This is the same dynamic as a black hole you dont want
to be a social black hole.

Contrary to the alpha male traits of core confidence,

unreactiveness, offering value and being assertive the beta
male/female reality is the opposite in all of these respects.
Because alpha males and beta males are so polarised
significantly different its very straightforward for a
woman to instantly tell if any man is an alpha male, and
attractive, or a beta male, and unattractive, immediately at
the very moment she lays eyes on him. Usually this
impression will be made sometime before you even start
talking to the girl on your way to approaching her. So,
understanding this, and how to be alpha, is extremely
important if you want to form a strong reality, be attractive
and have success when picking up girls.
Alpha males have core confidence betas/females seeks
validation for confidence and are only contextually

confident. They only feel confident when others give them

permission. Alpha males are unreactive, beta males will
react and take to heart the opinions and actions of
everyone around them, always seemingly fighting an uphill
battle to be noticed, respected or taken seriously. Alpha
males offer value betas males suck value like black holes.
As shown in the diagram beta males say things and take
actions in order to get others to acknowledge them. For
example, people who take value often throw out
conversational threads that are fishing for compliments;
My first class trip to Paris was pretty cool.
Saying this is like the internal arrow coming from the place
of small self esteem trying to project themself outwards to
compensate for diminished self-esteem and is intended to
project out to try and suck in reactions and validation, as
demonstrated by the arrows projecting inwards onto the
false and projected reality. At the same time, beta males
realities dont just take value but they are defensive they
take actions to project defences against their diminished
self-esteem being exposed. These actions and negativity are
also coming from a place of diminished self-esteem. Alpha
males are assertive betas/females are passive, easily lead
and lack in self trust and internal centeredness. One needs
to know themselves and trust themselves to be assertive,
beta males and females dont know themselves in the way
alphas do.


But because this beta/female reality is perpetually

reinforcing, it does actually become quite strong. Think of
the example of the teenaged female pop singer. If everyone
tells her that she is awesome, she will think shes awesome,
but not because of internal confidence but because
everyone told her she was allowed to have confidence. But
such external confidence is fleeting and cannot be sustained.
So, the minute the external validation ceases to be projected
onto the pop singer, shes going to be compelled to take
actions to try and re-establish the former good feelings she
was getting. But because shes chasing reactions, it will be
coming from a place of diminished self-esteem and have a
negative feeling about it. This is the same way that most
beta males approach women. Maybe at one time in their
life they had a girl give them a compliment or do
something that validated them, which left them desperate to
have that validation and the good feelings that came from it
replicated or reinforced. Its a negative self-perpetuating
cycle that leads to the creation of chodes.
If you are a beta male or a female your reality can take any
shape or form as long as it is something that is re692

enforceable. The more it can be externally reinforced, the

stronger your reality will be, the more you will feel like you
fit in somewhere, the more secure you will feel, and from a
secure reinforced feeling comes a good feeling. Although it
seems like madness to think that some people will feel
good from being a chode, let me explain how chodes are
born. Imagine a beta male thinks that he can be a pick-up
artist. He goes out and creates actions that come from a
place of diminished self-esteem. Hes trying to create a
strong reality of pick-up artist. But because hes
ultimately taking value by being a beta male, he wont be
attractive and girls wont like him. So, he will have the fact
that hes a chode reinforced so many times that soon he
will just think that hes a chode. Soon, he will become
frustrated with all the bad feelings associated with trying to
become a pick-up artist and quit trying because his primary
drive as a human to live in a strong reality wont
materialize. Instead, he will accept he is a chode and look
to reinforce that by taking no more actions. When he takes
no more actions, the chode reality will become reinforced,
a form of reality that will at least yield some good feelings
that come due to an externally reinforced reality that leads
to a secure feeling.
This creation of the chode happens during the time teenage
boys are going through social conditioning. They set out
trying to get girls they have mixed success, but at least
some success early on, and then they strive for more
success with girls to reinforce their reality in which theyre
popular with girls and feel secure. But, as they get older
they have to compete with older males who have gone

before them who easily eclipse them and put them into
place as beta males to them. So their chode reality is
reinforced by the older alpha males that theyre eclipsed by,
and they quit trying. Viola, modern day society is creating
armies of chodes about 80% or more of the male
population. By the way, there are groups of alphas
somewhere in ivory towers or running international banks
that are eclipsing all of us and socially conditioning us,
reinforcing that the average guy is just a chode and that
he should think and behave like a chode.
The more a female reality or a beta chode reality is
reinforced by external influences, the stronger the reality

Above is a reality scale. On the left of the centre axis is an

alpha reality and on the right is a beta reality or a female
reality. For the alpha reality, the more influence it has the
stronger the strength of reality becomes. For the beta males
and females, the more it gets externally held in place and
reinforced by society, the stronger it becomes. Remember
that a humans primary drive is a strong reality and most

people are females and beta males all interacting with each
other seeking contextual confidence, being reactive, taking
value and being passive and victims of their surroundings.
Suffice to say, society is in a bad way, but at least the few
alpha males in the ivory towers have everyone under the
thumb which prevents the bloodshed and social chaos that
has been the way of life since humans became humans.
But most men arent born as chodes, they are free-willed
and rambunctious children that act on their own intentions
in the same way that alpha males do. All men have the
potential to be alpha, but most get socially conditioned.
Imagine that when a male is born he is at the bottom of the
reality scale and in the middle. He both needs to rely on
society around him and at the same time has ample
impulses to express himself, adventure, take risks and push
the boundaries of his influence.

As males go through life they will have experiences.

Experience itself will strengthen a mans reality in one way
or another. Life experience is directly proportionate to time.
Even if you are doing nothing with your time, being
passive and reactive to the world, this will constitute your
life experience and the reality that you live in. If you are

socially conditioned in this society you will be told to sit

down and shut up. You will inevitably move from the
weak reality centre point in the middle of the scale towards
a beta reality. But at the same time you will constantly have
underlying innate urges to be assertive, take risks and take
responsibility for your reality instead of letting other people
push you around. Most men have a weak reality because
they continually swing between a reality where they obey
social conditioning but want to be more proactive, and a
reality where they take their own initiatives against social
conditioning and do things their own way without wanting
to stray too far away from the social standards that
everyone around them lives by. Most mens realities exist
somewhere in this part of the scale, marked in blue.

Guys who exist on this part of the reality scale are

characterized by having a lot of self-doubt, identity crises
and inconsistency in the way they interact with other
people. After a while, most succumb to social conditioning
and succumb to a chodey socially-conditioned reality. At
least with this passive succumbing comes some good


feelings, due to a sense of security in a strong reality that is

continually reinforced, shown in blue below.

Girls by nature have an externally-defined reality and its

their sole purpose to have this reinforced through life,
ideally by an influential alpha male. In modern day society,
that would be a respected guy in the community or
someone who is well-established and reliable. A young girl
in society who is attractive, in good shape, educated and
youthfully enthusiastic will be treated well by everyone.
Her reality will be continually reinforced by everyone she
meets and she will also take actions to retain good external
reinforcement. This way she can get a good feeling through
her having a secure reality. A hot girls reality would fall
somewhere on this part of the reality scale, shown in pink.


For a hot girl, everything is given to her. She is adored and

continuously complimented. Her reality is continuously and
fortuitously strengthened. For young guys the same age as
the hot girls, or guys without established contextual
confidence, their reality is weaker than the girls and thus
they dont feel as good about themselves as the girls theyre
trying to pick up. When a guy with a weak reality tries to
approach a hot girl, who usually has a very strong reality, it
would compare like this:

The girl can see what type of a guy he is, instantly even
before the guy starts talking to her and she will usually
blow the guy off immediately. When pick up gurus say that

you need to be cooler than the girl, they mean that you need
to have a stronger reality than the girl and have a better
internal feeling than she does, through a secure sense of

In terms of guys with externally-defined realities like rock

stars, drug lords, sports stars or rich business chodes, their
contextual confidence RELATIVE to other people who
also live in their externally-defined realities is stronger. So
these guys with contextual confidence have more
unreactiveness, can offer more value and be more assertive,
as long as it exists in the bounds of their contextual
confidence. Even though these guys only have contextual
confidence in their context, they can afford to behave in
similar ways to an alpha male. And of course these
behaviours, in context, inspire attraction in the girls the
interact with. An example of a rock star talking to a groupie,
or a college quarterback talking to his cheerleaders would
compare like this, where the guy has the stronger reality


and therefore has a better feeling about himself through

sense of security of self:

To be the guy with the most contextual confidence is a

difficult thing to do. To be the best football player, the
biggest pimp, the most hardcore drug lord or the rock star is
near to impossible. These guys think and act in ways that
inspire attraction because everyone gave them that
permission. But in the realities of the 99% of guys trying to
get into their positions, they dont have the permission from
others or the contextual confidence to think and behave in
ways that inspire attraction in women so they dont get
girlfriends. Even in the case of the rock star, drug dealer,
sports star or business mogul, their title and contextual
confidence is a fleeting and inconsistent thing, and like beta
male and female realities theirs is a reality that is
essentially a bucket with a hole in it that can never be filled.
This type of contextual confidence game cannot be
sustained. Sooner or later, the crutch will be kicked out
from under the externally-formed reality and the reality
comes crashing down like a house of cards.


This is called an identity crisis. When your reality comes

crashing down you can lose your girl among many other
things. This is why a lot of budding pick-up artists can pick
up girls inconsistently, but struggle to keep the girls when
they do. Again, this is why so many people turn to drugs
to escape the seemingly insurmountable task of being
internally-fulfilled and attractive to women.
Remember, its not what you do, who you are, your social
status or your bank account that inspires attraction in
women. Its the way you behave that inspires attraction in
women. Granted that enough money, status, or notoriety
can lead you to think you are allowed to act in alpha ways.
But really, any guy can act in ways that inspire attraction in
women because any guy has the potential to be an alpha
A straightforward way to summarize the combination of
core confidence, unreactiveness, offering value and
assertiveness is with the word CONFIDENCE. Confidence
is a mindset that is reflected in a mans behaviour. It is the
ways a mans behaviours reflect his mindset that inspires
attraction or not. So confidence is the key to the attraction
inspiring behavioural traits. The best way to understand and
implement confidence is to understand that CONFIDENCE
HOLDS YOU BACK. This definition explains why five
year old children can be just as confident as rock stars,
sports stars and millionaires, if not more so.
Really, the key to confidence and a strong reality, and its
properties of core confidence, unreactiveness, offering

value and being assertive is having no limiting beliefs.

Achieving a mindset with no limiting beliefs is a whole
nother article, but for this article I will assume that you
have no limiting beliefs. In a beta males reality, his
confidence is destroyed by limiting beliefs and he is stifled
and held back by his limiting beliefs as a result he can
never behave in a way that inspires attraction. The fact of
the matter is, a limiting belief can only exist if you let it
An alpha male and a man with confidence has the perpetual
mindset of if anyone can do it, I have as good a chance of
getting it done as anyone else. This is in congruence with a
mans innate alpha trait of being a man of action. This is a
non-assuming mindset, an assuming mindset would be
reliant on external factors limiting beliefs can only exist
in assumptions.

If a man can retain the mindset of if anyone can do it, I

have as good a chance of getting it done as everyone else
then from the time he is born to the day he dies, he will
progress along the reality scale until he is a true alpha male.

But of course, he has to contend with social conditioning

and competition from other males that will look to eclipse
him and stifle him so that they can retain influence and
stifle any other potential alpha males from influencing them.
This is how natural selection works. It is survival of the
fittest and strongest. In the wild, it is the fittest and
strongest that become the alpha males and survive. In
emotional and social society, it is the guys with the
strongest willpower, discipline and those who make the
effort to generate influence that are the alpha males and get
Willpower and whether or not you make an effort in life is
the difference between you being a good person or a bad
person. To be yourself means behaving in congruence with
what you physically are AND using what you physically
are to take action and have influence.
If a guy can use his willpower, discipline and effort, he can
form and retain a strong reality that will only build
momentum all his life. From the time he gets a taste of
what its like to be an alpha male, he will never want to go
back to being a beta male. The primary difference between
alpha males and beta males or females is that alpha males
are self-reliant and take responsibly for themselves and
their reality, whereas beta males and females must rely on
others to take responsibility for them on one level or
Beta males rely on alpha males for jobs, alliances or
protection, whereas women rely on alpha males for
protection and emotional security. In primitive times,

females wanted protection from the elements and other men,

something that alpha males could provide that they couldnt
get for themselves, and though evolution females become
attracted to men who behaved in alpha ways. In modern
society, the deep emotional impulses remain. Alpha males
in modern society have a fulfillment and strength of reality
that is completely self-reliant. On an emotional and social
level, modern women can have plenty of happiness and a
very strong reality, but they will never have that
autonomous fulfillment that an alpha male can have. But,
for a modern day woman, fulfillment can be gained from a
relationship with an alpha male who is internally fulfilled.

All people seek a strong reality for security and good

feelings to fit into society. Women form a very strong
reality through external reinforcement. Alpha males form a
strong reality in a completely different way, through selffulfillment that is autonomous and independent of external
reinforcement it is drawn from internal strength
(willpower, determinedness, resilience, proactive effort),
and is strong enough for others to rely on.


An alpha male with an extremely strong reality is

something that beta males and females can rely on. A
female with a strong reality will have an even stronger
reality when she is coupled with an alpha male, and she
will have even better feelings than when she is on her own.
Thats why women are attracted to men a good feeling
that comes from the security he can provide her that she
cant entirely provide for herself. That is why, as a man, it
is important to have a strong, dependable and influential
reality. Without it, you wont be attractive, and
evolutionarily, you wouldnt survive when you die.

In terms of pick up, when you are in the club and going
after girls with very strong, externally reinforced and
externally validated realities, you need to have a stronger
reality than them to offer them value and have any chance
of picking them up. If you have nothing to offer the girls,
then there is no reason why they would want to engage in
talking to you or spend any time with you.
Even though hot girls in the club do have very strong and
continually reinforced realities, it can never be as strong as
an internally defined and autonomous alpha reality. When a
hot club girl comes across an alpha male as a source of

strength, if she were to be validated by it, then it would

make her reality even stronger through even stronger
sources of external validation than she had previously
known. Therefore, she would feel better than she already
felt. This is what it means to offer value
To be an alpha male you need to have the mindset that if
something can be done, I have as good a chance as anyone
else of doing it. This is self-assurance, not arrogance
arrogance doesnt set out to take action but rather rests on
its laurels or what it claims to be able to do. In the alpha
headspace of if something can be done, I have as good a
chance as anyone else of doing it you will naturally and
automatically have core confidence, unreactiveness, you
will offer value and you will be assertive. When you
automatically and unconsciously exhibit these behaviours
you will inspire attraction in women because they are
evolved to be attracted to alpha males. And women have a
telepathic ability to recognize an alpha male.

You will have core confidence because you will trust in

what you are as a man and put no obstacles or limiting

beliefs between you and your objectives. You will be

unreactive because you will shun or ignore other peoples
efforts to stifle you or put doubts in your mind about
yourself you will hold your course free from external
forces influencing your core purpose as an alpha male. You
will offer value because you will become someone of
integrity that other people can rely on and always get a
good feeling of security and validation from. And you will
be assertive in that you follow your instincts for honourable
purposes, to create a positive dominant influence and to
seek fulfillment through benefiting others though your
good influence on them.

These are all good things and fulfilling to an alpha male.

The more you behave in alpha ways, the stronger your
alpha reality will become and the more efficient at inspiring

attraction you will become. But, an alpha reality doesnt get

stronger through reinforcement, rather it gets stronger
through momentum, decisiveness, magnitude and
frequency of behaviours. An alpha reality gets stronger as
your influence increases. Metaphorically, you become more
influential and more attractive to women in the same way
that water siphons out of a tube drawing from a positive
internal source, some call this the infinite well. The more
momentum you have drawing from a source of good
autonomous energy source inside of you, the stronger your
reality, the more ability you will have to inspire attraction,
the more you will pick up girls. The hottest girls.

So, what I have talked about and shown in this article goes
hand-in-hand with the attraction formula.

Attraction equals higher value plus a full range of emotions,

to the power of infinity. If you have a stronger reality than

the girl, then she will notice immediately and be interested

in you. If you have a strong reality and she has engaged
you, then she will be reactive to you as you have an
influential reality over hers. If you are the one doing the
influencing then you are going to be a source of stimulus
for those around you. Stimulation is emotionally arousing
and women become turned on when they are emotional
aroused. Because you are a source of stimulation, and your
strong reality is a source of continual and dependable
validation, people around you will continue to gravitate
towards you and attraction has infinite potential. A strong
reality makes you very attractive the stronger the better.
If you dont have a strong reality and you want to get one,
then that involves a rite of passage and finding your
indifference threshold. In terms of the strength of reality
graph, that would involve a situation when your chode
reality came crashing down, where you hit the bottom, then
started climbing back up. This time taking responsibility
for everything, the buck stops with you. Tangibly, this is
done through congruence tests and retained through
congruence tests. Congruence tests is the gymnasium of
social and emotional experience and growth in natural
game. The learning of natural game and transformations is
another in depth article. I have began to plan it and map it
out. It will be comprehensive.


When you move away from having your reality externallydefined and reinforced to being internally-defined, and you
build momentum of influence, you become socially
versatile. Those principles will be totally explained in yet
another in depth article.
In conclusion: Strength of Reality Series.
What does it mean to have a strong reality, and why is it
even important?
If you have a reality that is stronger than the girl you are
trying t pick up than you have something to offer her that
she isnt getting for herself. The stronger your reality the
stronger your internal sense of security. With your internal
sense of security comes positive and calming feelings. To
have a weak reality means you feel vulnerability, anxiety
and negativity.
For a guy a strong reality can come in two forms.
Externally derived or internal defined. Both can be strong
realities but one is resilient and can be absolute. While the
other is fleeting and vulnerable.

In the case of the strong externally derived reality it usually

means that you have more contextual confidence relative to
the girl. It means that in that situation you have a stronger
security of reality and therefore a better internal feeling
about yourself than she does. If the girl connects with you
emotionally then her sense of self (her reality) is
strengthened because when she is with that guy her reality
is being strengthened and validated by a stronger source.
She is attracted to a guy with higher value than she has.
The things that makes a guy valuable to a girl is if he has
strong positive and secure feelings that comes from having
a stronger sense of self.
But, an externally defined reality is EXTERNALLY
DEFINED, so it is always at the mercy of external elements
and influences. His reality is formed through validation
seeking actions and him identifying with abstract external
labels and identities. If a guys reality is externally formed
then it can be externally broken. One day he can be
attractive to girls, but If his reality should be broken by an
external source the next day then he would no longer be
high value. Some people call this identity crisiss. For
people learning how to become better at picking up women
this explains their inconsistencies and frustrations.
In the case where the guy defines his reality internally it is
safe from external fluctuations and is more consistent and
can always be stronger. An internally defined reality can be
ABSOLUTE or 100% where as an externally derived
reality can never be ABSOLUTE or 100%. An internally
defined reality is formed through pro-activity, initiative,

will power, effort and decisiveness. The foundations of an

internally defined reality are positive, whereas the
foundations of an externally derived reality are negative.
Girls are attractive to guys who have any type of stronger
reality than them, but they are more attracted to guys who
have internally defined realities because they pick on the
positive vibes of internally defined realities. A womans
recognition system instantly categorizes those types of guys
as alpha males. They are attracted to those guys, If you are
one of those types of guys picking up becomes easy.
A guy who has a stronger reality than a girl is attractive to
her because he is less reactive to her than she is to him. A
guy with an internally defined reality is not only less
reactive to the girl than the girl is to him, but he is
unreactive to the world itself. Unreactiveness leads to core
confidence, core confidence leads to automatically offering
value and when you know you are offering value you can
supercharge your attraction by asserting that value. Picking
up becomes more effective.
Unreactiveness, core confidence, offering value a