This book belongs to:

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(Ve r y s m a

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DINmOe
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First Prize

EVERYTHING'S

AM(ASorZt oIf)NG
By
Liz Picho
n

This is a work of ction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either
products of the authors imagination or, if real, are used ctitiously.
Copyright 2012 by Liz Pichon
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted,
or stored in an information retrieval system in any form or by any means,
graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, taping, and
recording, without prior written permission from the publisher.
First U.S. edition 2015
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number 2014945702
ISBN 978-0-7636-7473-1
15 16 17 18 19 20 TK 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Printed in TK, TK, U.S.A.
This book was typeset in Pichon.
The illustrations were done in mixed media.
Candlewick Press
99 Dover Street
Somerville, Massachusetts 02144
visit us at www.candlewick.com

Thank
you
a
d
n
a
Schola
s
to y UK publishertic
)
(m
a nd
Candlewick.

Im

in a

GOOD

mood

for

of reasons. . . .
rea d on

1. Ive found MORE

excellent ways to use Delias sunglasses

(that she doesnt know about).

Sm e

l ly - s o c k h o l d
er

Armpit
er
scratch

Bird scarer

Foot
r
scratche

2. I RAN

TWICEop p earound
d

garden before my toast p

Which is a

the

up.

NEW
WORLD RECORD.
2

3. My TOAST DOODLES

looked

AMAZING!
My
art
to a s t
!
ENJOY

Especially the one of Delia.

AND Im EVEN
EARLY

a bit

for school.

*See page 407 for how I make TOAST DOODLES.

Mr. Fullerman looks SHOCKed

see me in class on time.
He says,

This is a nice
surprise, Tom .
and smiles.
(Which doesnt happen very often.)
Then Marcus pulls a face at me.
Nice

(Which does happen a lot.)

to

ut
can put me in a

BAD

mood today!

Apart from these two words . . .

Math lesson.
Then it gets worse . . .

Math lesson with

Mrs. Worthington.
and worse . . .

Now.
Ive stopped smiling.

LUCKILY
sits next to me in class and she

L VES

math. She cant

get enough of math, which is handy for me

because

THIS is how much I like math:

HATE
math

LOVE
math

O ff

th

sca

So WHEN I get stuck

on something tricky, I can take a
speedy look at

s correct

like this:

answers

le

B ut if I look the other way like this:

All I get is

Marcus Meldrews rubbish

answers. Hes almost as bad at math as me.

But from the way he
and says,

YES,

PUNCHES

the air

MATH, MY
FAVORITE!

youd think he was a math

(Hes not.)

Then Mrs. Worthing TASH appears.

I call her that because she has a slightly
top lip.

NEVER EVER

say Mrs. Worthing TASH out loud.

Sh e announces to the WHOLE CLASS that if
Just to be clear, I

were

REALLY

good all lesson,

we can do her SPECIAL MATH QUIZ.

QUIZ

she says enthusiastically.

I doubt it.

arcus tells

, You can be on my team.

Amy looks thrilled.

arcus is behaving like a total

keeps grinning

TWIT.

and nodding at

He

Mrs. WorthingTASH
is saying. (Yes, yes.)
Ever since Marcus was caught CHEATING on
EVERYTHING

the

AWARD CHART, hes

been trying to get back into

ALL the

teachers good books.

ts sort of working, too, because

10

Mrs. WorthingTASH congratulates Marcus

on being

STRAIGHT,

Hes sitting up

looking EVEN

MORE pleased with himself now

(if thats possible).
smug

I tell

that

KEEN is just

another word for

IRRITATING.

Which makes her laugh.

Then

Mrs. WorthingTASH asks,

We both keep very quiet.

11

nlike Marcus, who wont shut up. Hes

got his hand up and wants to know if well

be doing

MULTIPLICATION-TABLES

today. Groan. . . .
Then he says, Ive been

practicing a LOT,

Mrs. Worthington.
And

M rs. WorthingTASH says,

Nice work, Marcus. . . .

12

till, it could be worse. At least I get to do

a bit of drawing, even if it is just

and

numbers.

lines

Here goes. . . .

So far, so good.

13

12 squares this way

12
t
h
i
s
w
a
y

1
2
3
4
5
6

2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20 22 24
6
30
8
40
10
50
12
60
70
14
80
16
90
18
20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100 110 120

7
8
9
10
11 22
12 24

110
120

m busy trying to fill in my table (doing the

ones I know first: two- and ten-times table).

arcus keeps saying,

This is

But I can see

mistakes already.

SO

easy.

that hes made loads of

Ha! Ha!

take a quick glance in

direction just to check Im doing

OK.

(Shes nearly FINISHED hers.)

hen it gets a bit tricky.

I have to use my fingers to

count. (Doesnt everyone?)

arcus starts DELIBERATELY

counting

LOUDER

than me, which

is really putting me off.

I

keep

losing my place.

TEN, FIFTEEN, TWENTY . . .

TWO,

FOUR, SIX . . .

IVE LOST MY PLACE AGAIN.

Hes driving me . . .

15

B NKERS!
I cant concentrate with him NEXT to me being
all

and

NOISY.

SEVEN . . .
FOURTeen . . .
TWENTy-ONE.

ts

impossible

numbers prope

16

to write my

So I start to

doodle

instead . . .

What
LION?

MARCUS
NOISY AND
ANNOYING
and draw this.
17

Then I do another one . . .

What
monster?

and another.

W hat sp ide r?

18

One more.
What giant
BOY-eating
bird?

19

Mrs. WorthingTASH spots

Norman Watson

leaning

back in his chair.

She tells him to
.
Then she says,

Which is a shame because I didnt

get to finish this drawing . . .
OR my
multiplication
table.

What ogre?

20

Oh, well. Ill fill it all in during the rest of

the lesson.

Im trying VERY hard to pay attention

to M rs. Worthing TASH.
She is busy teaching the lesson and saying
things like:

Mysteriously my eyelids seem to be getting

heavier
and

heavier.

and

heavier

21

force them back OPEN

to CONCENTRATE

by trying

on what she is saying.

he trouble is, it sounds like shes

speaking another language (one I dont

understand).

nd to make things worse,

22

Mrs. WorthingTASH keeps moving

CLOSER and CLOSER
to me so I can see

her mustache

a bit too clearly for my liking.

(Its even HARDER to concentrate now.)

find myself

STARING at the

number of hairs she has under her nose

and counting them. Which is helping me
keep my eyes OPEN.

have counted almost fifteen hairs when

Mrs. WorthingTASH asks me,

23

I dont want to be rude or bring attention

to the fact that I

HAVENT

finished my

MULTIPLICATION TABLE yet. So I am VERY polite

and say,

Im FINE, thank you,

MRS. WO RTHINGTASH.
And she says,
So I say it a

BIT

LOUDER.

Im FINE, thank you,

MRS. WO RTHINGTASH.
(Did I just say that out loud?)
24

rom the way

rs. Worthington

is

at me,
Im guessing I did.

ep . . . I did.

This might take some explaining.

25

I try my best.
TERRIBLE
cold, this S N E E Z E

Because I have a

just crept up on me unexpectedly

when I said your name like this . . .

Mrs. WorthingaaaaTASH HOOOOOOO!

Sniff,
sniff.

Im not sure Mrs. WorthingTON is convinced.

m

26

m
mm

L uckily for

ME ,

my rescue by

falling b
ackw
ard
s

orman

atson comes to

in

hi

s
ch

ai

ag

Now hes waving his legs around

ai

n.

in the air like an upturned turtle

because hes stuck.

Mrs. Worthington goes to help

him and tells me:

That doesnt sound good.

27

L AT E R
h e r s n a m e is :
c
a
e
t
h
t
a
m
y
M
O R T H I N GT O N
W
.
S
R
M
N
O
I N GT
H TO N
M R S . W OR T H
O R T H I N GT A S
W
.
S
R
M
N
O
I N GT
M R S . W OR T H
O R T H I N GT O N
W
.
S
R
M
N
O
I N GT
N MRS.
M R S . W OR T H
W O R T H I N GT O
.
S
R
M
N
O
T
ING
MRS.
M R S . W OR T H
I N GT A S H T O N
H
T
R
O
W
.
S
R
N M
W O R T H I N GT O
TO N
. W OR T H I N G
S
R
M
N
O
T
G
N
W OR T H I N
W O R T H I N GT O
.
S
R
M
N
O
T
ING
N
M R S . W OR T H
W OR T H I N G t O
.
S
R
M
N
O
T
ING
N MRS.
M R S . W OR T H
W O R T H I N GT O
.
S
R
M
N
O
T
ING
M R S . W OR T H
MRS.
R T H I N GT O N
O
W
.
S
R
M
N
W O R T H I N GT O
TO N
. W OR T H I N G
S
R
M
N
O
T
G
N
N
W OR T H I
W O R T H I N GT O
.
S
R
M
N
O
T
ING
.
M R S . W OR T H
N GT O N M R S
I
H
T
R
O
W
.
S
I N GT O N M R
M R S . W OR T H
RS.
T H I N GT O N M
R
O
W
.
S
R
M
N
W O R T H I N GT O
TO N
. W OR T H I N G
S
R
M
N
O
T
G
N
W OR T H I
TO N
. W OR T H I N G
S
R
M
N
O
T
G
IN
M R S . W OR T H
TO N
. W OR T H I N G
S
R
M
N
O
T
G
IN
M R S . W OR T H
TO N
. W OR T H I N G
S
R
M
N
O
T
G
IN
M R S . W OR T H

I wont make that

mistake again (out loud).

29

BrEAK
News

travels

FAST

in our school.

Everyone seems to know about my

M U S TAC H E

D erek is

M I S TA K E .

lau ghing

until I tell him about the lines I had to do

AND

the

E XTRA

Which he thinks is

math homework, too.

harsh.

30

So,

to cheer me up, Derek suggests we go

and have a game of

Its an

E XC E L L E N T

CHAMP

is a

idea.

GREAT

game to

play for lots of reasons:

1.
2. I
3. M

You dont need much stuff:

BALL

and chalk.

FAST

ts super

. . .

so you never get bored.

e and Derek are pretty good

at CHAMP.

31

hen we get to

CHAMP

CORNER

some little kids have already drawn

out a

square and are about to

start playing.

m
Cha

Ch alk

Ba ll

erek asks if we can join in the game, but

they dont seem THAT keen.

?
Mmmm

32

promise we wont hit the ball

hard,

I say in case theyre worried.

will, because

am

the smallest girl says.

Derek whispers,
She wont be CHAMP for very long!

ere are the rules of CHAMP, in case

you dont know. . . .

its easy.

33

RULES of ChaMp
(Its a bit like cheap tennis.)

U
O

se your hand to hit the ball

nly

but the

(no scooping).

one

bounce allowed
ball

can

go to any

of the four squares.

1 CHAMP

To BECOME the

C HAMP

you

move around the squares.

4

ut if youre

OUT

you go to the back of

four

the queue, or to square

if theres no one waiting.

34

CHAMP
Out
2

Queue

se
Mis

You

d!

must try to stay in CHAMP SQUARE

for as long as possible to become the

(Oh, yes!)

Tom Gates: Everythings Amazing (Sort Of)

L. Pichon

www.candlewick.com