A LITTLE DIALOGUE FOR TWO DUDES

Written by
Joseph Frost
Draft
8/12/15
written for the 2015 31 Plays in 31 Days project

Joseph Frost, 2015

4550 Normandy Dr.
Jackson, MS 39206
atticscripts@gmail.com
* member, Dramatist's Guild

Two dudes, Ted and Ben.

TED
Youre not even listening to the point of the story.
BEN
I listened to the whole thing.
TED
Did you?
BEN
And I have no idea what the point of the story is.
TED
Im saying its not what she said. Its how she said it.
BEN
Ted...
TED
No. No. Listen. I dont need you any more.
(beat)
You see?
BEN
No.
TED
She doesnt need me any more.
BEN
Thats exactly what she said.
TED
I know.
BEN
Theres no riddle there.
TED
But, what if she WANTS me.

2.
BEN
Oh brother.
TED
No, seriously.
BEN
Youve lost your mind.
TED
I havent. I said it was how she said it.
BEN
Not what she said.
TED
Right.
BEN
I have a secret for you.
TED
What?
BEN
Both of those things are bad for you.
TED
How?
BEN
She doesnt need you. She doesnt want you. It may be that she never wanted you, but
she felt that she needed you. She needed to put up with you to keep you around.
TED
Oh.
BEN
And now that she doesnt need you, its ok to dump you. Because she doesnt want you
either.
TED
That is... not good news.
BEN
For you. For her, Im sure its a relief.

3.
TED
Ben.
BEN
What?
TED
I might cry.
BEN
Youre not going to cry.
TED
I might.
BEN
No. Youre not. You want to know why?
TED
Why?
BEN
Because crying means you are sad that that abomination of a relationship is over. And
youre not.
TED
Im not?
BEN
No. No one is. Least of all you.
TED
Are you glad its over?
BEN
I absolutely am. She is not good for you. she was never good for you.
TED
No?
BEN
No. She is a terrible person. through and through. And it made you a terrible person too.
TED
Yeah?

4.
BEN
Oh yeah.
TED
So shes gone, Im a better person?
BEN
I know I like you better already.
TED
You like me?
BEN
Not like this, but yeah.
TED
That means a lot to me, Ben.
BEN
I know it does, Ted.
TED
So, you were listening to the point of the story.
BEN
I was.
TED
I just didnt know that the point was that it was good that she dumped me.
BEN
Now you get the point of the story.
TED
Its a good story.
BEN
One of the best.
TED
I still feel bad.
BEN
I know.
They stare off. End.