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Negotiating skills can help you manage lots of different kinds of life situations,
both at work and in your personal relationships. Here are a few examples of
where these skills can help you build an even better life for yourself:
Start with the most important issues and proceed to those that matter
less. If you can reach agreement on the most important things, the
lesser issues will most likely be easier to resolve.
Example: Carol wants her next family vacation to be something really
specialeither a Caribbean cruise or a trip to San Francisco. She and
her family have visited relatives or stayed at home for the past few years.
She wants the family to have an experience they will always remember
before Todd, their adolescent son, grows up and moves away. She sees
the key issues as follows: (1) There are only three years left before Todd
leaves. He is not likely to join us for a vacation after he finishes school;
(2) It is important to have an exceptional vacation at least once in your
life; (3) If we plan ahead and save the money, we will be able to afford
the cost of such a trip.
A attacks B
Weve all experienced being caught in one of these spirals and know
how nonproductive they are. Rather than perpetuating such a process,
the successful negotiator puts a stop to it by choosing not to say
anything that would be perceived as aggressive or defensive.
Example
Jim:
A
I
cant
believe
you
are
being
so
rigid.
B
I
cant
Youre
believe
not
happy
you
with
are
what
being
Ive
so
asked
rigid.
for.
more than a lack of credibility. People dont want to listen to a person they
dont trust and respect. Develop your expertise in the area in which you are
trying to influence others. By being warm and friendly and making sure that
your information is reliable, you can develop mutual trust with influencees. A
dynamic presentation style also helps, as does a good reputation with
others whom the influencee might consult about your ideas and intentions.
2.
explain why what you want is important. You should demonstrate with
strong supporting evidence why someone should do as you wish. The
responsibility for building the case lies with you.
5.
What are the persons goals, needs, interests, fears, and aspirations? How
much does the listener know about the subject yourre discussing? Does the
person have preconceived views on this subject? If so, how do they align
with yours? How does this person like to be treated? What is his or her
behavioral style? Answering questions like these can help you define the
right persuasion strategy to use.
6.
you need to understand what makes them tick. Then you can put yourself
into their position when you make a request. An individuals behavior is
directed toward satisfying self-interests. You need to appeal to that selfinterest by anticipating, before you make any demands, that the subject will
ask, Whats in it for me?
7.
persuade the subject, but if you lack facts and reasons to support your
argument, your persuasiveness almost certainly will be undermined.
8.
evidence in support of your views is often not enough. You also should
appeal to a persons emotions. Try to reach inside the subjects and
understand their loves, hates, fears, and frustrations. Then use that
information to mold what you say and how you say it.