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This is also a imaginative comparison, but because it doesn't use "as" or "like" in the
sentence, it is classified as a metaphor. Which do you find more effective? Well, that might
be a matter of taste, but because the metaphor figuratively transforms something into
something else (Jim's mother becomes a lioness), rather than just suggesting something or
someone was "like" something or someone else, most people would say that it was more
emphatic and, therefore, more effective.
A really good figure of speech walks the line between uniqueness and appropriateness.
For example, this probably wouldn't be quite as effective:
Jim's mother was as dangerous as a paper cut that had become infected.
OR
Jim's mother was as dangerous as driving on four bald tires on 19th Street in a snow
storm.
These examples don't get that idea of intentional danger across, so that Jim's mom might
seem more like an accident rather than a truly fierce, passionate, but dangerous, protector
of her children. For that reason, these are fairly creative, unique figures of speech, but they
aren't very effective or appropriate.
One of the most common problems with figures of speech is that they sometimes are rather
bland and not very unique. These overused, commonplace figures of speech are called
cliches. (The word "cliche" comes from the French, and it refers to a stereotype plate, that
is, the printing press plate that creates the images on a page when the plate has been
covered with ink and pressed against the page. Literally, then, a cliche means to make a
copy of something, as in printing. Therefore, a cliche is "copied.") As you might guess,
these cliches are ones that you have heard before, and because they are commonplace,
they aren't very effective in emphasizing ideas or images in readers' minds because a good
figure of speech should be arresting, new, even surprising.
Another danger of figures of speech is the mixed metaphor. A mixed metaphor tends to be
a figure of speech that combines ideas that don't really fit together. Some might even make
the reader laugh but not in a good way.
The class was a smorgasbord of dangerous mental tools that didn't come with directions
for safe use. (Mixed Metaphor)
There is nothing wrong with comparing the class to dangerous tools, but combining it with a
smorgasbord, a buffet of different foods, is confusing and just a bit odd.
An even more common kind of mixed metaphor is a combination of two or more cliches,
which can be a double problem.
The mayor stepped up to the plate and laid his cards on the table. (Mixed Metaphor)
He was a little green behind the ears. (Mixed Metaphor)
The first example is a mixed metaphor and a cliche because it combines a trite baseball
figure of speech with figurative language based on poker. The second combines the
metaphorical idea of being "green" (a novice at something, referring to unripe produce) with
the saying "wet behind the ears," meaning that he was not quite ready, like someone who
hadn't quite dried off after a bath. (This mixed metaphor is attributed to President Obama,
so even skilled users of language like the president can make these mistakes.)
This doesn't mean that figures of speech can't be fun or a bit odd. Just make sure that your
readers are laughing with you.
For example, these are fun and effective figures of speech:
The fog came on little cat feet. (Carl Sandburg)
Bill's jokes were as flat as a tomato backed over by a garbage truck.
Bill's jokes were as flat as a can of beer left open for a week and half.
Mack was as eager to please as a Labrador retriever.
My daughter flit about the backyard from one activity to another like a hummingbird
sipping nectar from flower after flower.
Okay, here are 5 exercises to work on.
In this first one, pick one of the 3 options to fill in the blank with similes, brainstorming at
least 10 possibilities, and then create a sentence with the one or two that you like best.
Example: As smooth as _____________.
an iced over lake, a baby's bottom, a used car salesman, the perfect martini, the ride of a
Cadillac, a magazine cover, a gymnasium floor, Duke Ellington's reed section, a leather
sofa, Lake Louise on a quiet morning. a paper plate, a billiard ball.
Sentence: Bill's face was as smooth and nondescript as a paper plate.
Okay, now you try it. Choose one of the three below to brainstorm and create a sentence
out of.
1. As confusing as______________. As cold as______________. As wrinkled
as______________.
In the next two, identify the problem with the sentence, and replace it with a more effective
figure of speech.
2. Ben and Margo were as American as apple pie.
3. Freda was as capable at her advertising job as a brain surgeon engineering a new
moon rocket.
In these last two, there is no figure of speech in each sentence, so add an effective one.
4. Nate moved across the dance floor with amazing style and grace.
5. As evening came on, shadows moved across the surface of the cliff.
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