THEUNAWARETHERAPISTISCONSIDEREDUNHELPFULTOHIMSELFANDCLIENTS

TheUnawareTherapistisConsideredUnhelpfultoHimselfand
Clients
DiscussthisstatementdrawingonmaterialfromthePersonalDevelopmentModule.

MODULE1403:PERSONALDEVELOPMENT
PCICOLLEGE
BELLALIVI
STUDENTNUMBER:18642

THEUNAWARETHERAPISTISCONSIDEREDUNHELPFULTOHIMSELFANDCLIENTS

In this paper firstly, I will define the meaning of Personal Development,

what the definition
means to me and how some wellknown therapists describe it. I will discuss how our personality
develops through the outcome of the interaction between us and our environment. I will use Uri
Bronfenbrennersecologicalsystemstheorytodemonstratethis.
Next, I willshedsomelighton whena counsellor isunaware.I willlook atsometechniques we have
learned through the personal developmentmoduleonhow to
bringto thesurface thevulnerabilitiesin
ourselves, and how to become aware of them as they are surfacing. I will explain the locus of
evaluationandhow itplaysacrucialroleinourselfawareness.Iwilldiscusswhat
haveIlearnedfrom
the module through the interaction with my group,andhowthe counsellingsessionsand methods we
practicedtogetherhelpedtobuildmyselfawareness.
Finally, I will share my discovery of the importance of selfknowledge and my understanding that
continuouspersonaldevelopmentliesattheheartofnotonlyethicalbutsuccessfultherapeuticpractice.

DefinitionofPersonalDevelopment

What is your understanding ofwhatitmeanstopersonallydevelop?wasthe firstquestion

on our Personal Development hand out note received 29th of November, 2014. What is Personal
Development?
Myresponsetothisquestionafterdeciphered fromthehandoutnotesreadTobeaman.I
used a quote from one of my favourite author Dostoevsky, whose work is focuses on human
psychology. He never wantedtobecomethegreatestwriteronEarth.Allhewantedwastobecomethe
best human being hecouldpossiblybe, and throughhisdesireto beaman,hisprofessional success
came merelyasa byproducttohim. Accordingtohim,whatreallymattersishimrealisingheneedsto
becomethebesthumanbeingpossible,beforehecanbecomeaman.

THEUNAWARETHERAPISTISCONSIDEREDUNHELPFULTOHIMSELFANDCLIENTS

...
andthe importantthingis to beamanamongmenandtoremainonealways,nottoloseheartand
notto givein,nomatterwhatmisfortune mayoccurthatiswhatlife is,thatisitstask,Ihavebecome
awareofthis.

(DostoevskysascitedinFrank,p.63.)
Lets look at what Maslow thought about personal development. Abraham Maslow was
primarily a personality theorist. He contributed relatively little to the actual process of the therapy.
Maslows greatestcontributiontopsychologywas probablyhisbook called
MotivationandPersonality
inwhich heestablishedhiswellknownhierarchyofhumanneeds.Atthehighestlevelofthishierarchy
of needs he put personal development. He called it: 'The presumedneedforselfactualization.'(Vitz,
1994,p.118)
Some people call it personal growth, selftranscendence, or spirituality. Maslow called it self
actualization.It doesnotmatter whatyoucallit.Whatmattersisrealisingthatpersonaldevelopmentis
not some kind of a tool for reaching a bigger goal, like becoming a successful businessman, or a
politician. If you approach it this way, it would be like putting the cart before the horse. It can be
describedasmorelikeajourney,ratherthanadestination.
With this in mind, lets look at Uri Bronfenbrenners ecological systems theory where he
explains how our personality develops through the outcome of the interaction between us and our
environment. AccordingtoUri,welearnfromeachotherallthetime.
Bronfenbrennerhasdescribedthe
environment as
a set of nested structures, each inside the next, like a set of Russian dolls.

(
Bronfenbrenner

ascitedinMunhall&Macken,p.50.)
Bronfenbrenner believed that a person's development was affected by everything in their
surrounding environment. He divided the person's environment into five different levels: the
microsystem, the mesosystem, the exosystem, the macrosystem, and the chronosystem. The most
influential level of theecologicalsystemstheoryisthesystem closesttotheperson:our microsystem.
Thisis ourhome,school,andworkandeveryenvironmentwehavedirectandregularcontactwith.The
secondmost influential levelofUris systemisthemesosysteminwhichdifferentpartsofthepersons
microsystem areinteractingwitheachother.Theexosystemreferstothelinkagesbetweentwoormore

THEUNAWARETHERAPISTISCONSIDEREDUNHELPFULTOHIMSELFANDCLIENTS

microsystems.Themacrosystemreferstothe cultureinwhich theother systemsarerested.Finallythe

chronosystemwhichrelatestothedimensionoftimeasitrelatestoanindividual'senvironments.

TheUnawareTherapist

Keepingthisinmind, letsdemonstratewhat we mean byan unawaretherapist.Itmayhappen

thatduringacounsellingsessionitcouldbethe counsellor,ratherthantheclient,wholearnsmoreabout
themselves.Imagineasession,whenthecounsellorthinksthatshe/hewasrespondingcongruently.But
after some time, they realise that their statement has been more about themselves and not about the
client. After allcounsellors areonly humanandtheycangetitwrongsometimes,actuallyquiteoften.
Mearnsstatesthatisnormalanditis notsomethingaboutwhichweshouldfeeloverlydisturbed.We all
make mistakes. Not to mention that in our own humanity, we will sometimes becomeconfusedwith
whatisoursandwhatisourclients.
The question is, will the counsellor be able to refind her/his congruence in expressing that
realisation? This is where personal development comes to play a crucial role during the counselling
session.Intrainingandalsoinourlaterdevelopmentoflivingourdaytoday life,wecanbecomeaware
ofthe vulnerabilitiesinourselvesandhow thesetend to encroachonourworkastherapists.Itisdueto
our ownawarenessthatweare abletosenseour vulnerabilitiesasthey aresurfacing.Mearnssuggests
thatwhenithappens,

weneedtobeeasy withourselves,justsmilegently at ourselves and layallthe

critique thoughts aside for the moment. This is an ability that personcentred counsellors develop.

(Mearns,Thorne&McLeod,2013,p.107)
I remember one role play, where our class was divided into smaller groups to practice

counsellor skills with each other. During this particular session, my client was expressing his doubt
about the continuation of the counselling course at PCI. Although I thought that I was responding
congruently and empathically, my reply nonetheless evoked a hesitation and long silence from my
client.Thismademerealisethatmy statementmayhave beenmoreaboutmeandnotaboutmyclient.

THEUNAWARETHERAPISTISCONSIDEREDUNHELPFULTOHIMSELFANDCLIENTS

Ihadthesamedoubtsand fearsaboutwhatthefutureholds for meandI presumedthatmyclient has

the same doubts andfearsthatIhad.HoweverI wasabletorefind mycongruencein expressingthat
realisation.Thisisyetanotherskillisinnoticingthesepersonalprocesseswhentheyinterfere,asinthis
instancewithmyclient.
Havingsaidthat,itis crucialforthetherapist to checkinwith hisowncounsellor onaregular
basis, in order to help him/her to avoid developing blind spots that might raise the red flags of his
unawareness during thetherapysession withhisclient.Bynotdoingso,itisnotonlyunethicaltowards
hisclient,butanunawaretherapistisconsideredunhelpfultobothclientandcounselloralike.
According to Mearns, once noticed, the counsellor needs toretakepossessionofthe material
beforeitcanstarttocontaminateourclientsexperiencing.The clientssilencemaybeindicativeofhim
paying attention and beingpresentbynoticing that hiscounsellorsresponsedid notfithim,butsome
clients withaprofoundlyexternalisedlocusof evaluationmightwell seekto integratehiscounsellors
experienceashisown.(Mearns,Thorne&McLeod,2013,p.107)
Rogers defined the locus of evaluation as

the extent to which [ones] values and standards

depend upon the judgements and expectationsofothers,orarebasedonarelianceupon[ones]own
experience
(Rogers,1951p.156)Inotherwords,thelocusofevaluationreferstothesourceofevidence
ofvaluesanditiseitherinternal orexternal. Onehasaninternallocusofevaluationwhenonerelieson
theirown judgementsandevaluations,andan externalonewhenone reliesontheviews,opinionsand
judgementsofothersasbeingmorevalidorimportantthantheirown.(Freeth,2007,P.83)

ImportanceofSelfKnowledge

According to Mearns, the client with an externalised lotus is extremely vulnerable to the
evaluations others place upon him. He is in the disturbing position ofnotbeingabletotrust hisown
judgementortrusthisownfeelings.Thisisadisempoweringsituation,andoneinwhichhedesperately
grasps hold of every possibility of an evaluation, especially if it comes from someone he has builta
trustedrelationshipwith:his owncounsellor.Awellpracticedcounsellorusinghersensitivity,willfind

THEUNAWARETHERAPISTISCONSIDEREDUNHELPFULTOHIMSELFANDCLIENTS

thatshe communicatesher empathy quitedifferentlyinrelation toaclientwithanexternalisedlocusof

evaluationcomparedtoonewhoselocusisfairlyinternalised.(Mearns,Thorne&McLeod,2013,p.62)
In our Personal Development module, I found the mindfulness exercises really beneficial for
getting a real sense of who we are. Ifoundit was agreattooltopracticehow to move ourlocusof
evaluationfromarelianceonotherpeople(externallocusofevaluation)toagreaterrelianceonourown
judgementof whatis rightforus(internallocusofevaluation).Iparticularly likeditasitrepresentedan
easywaytogetintouchwithmyemotionsandbeingabletolabelthem.
Upon completing the Personal Development module, I have made several selfawareness
discoveries. One of the most significant to me was when I have recognised the pattern of my
selfdefense reactivity in situations when I am being criticised publicly. It triggers a sort of
flightorfightreactionwithinme.Idontbelieveinfight,sotheonlyoptionI amleftwithistoflee.Not
physically,but emotionally. Iamabletowithdrawemotionallyandshutdownmyownfeelings.Imnot
really present with the people aroundme.Ireadrecently,thattriggersoftenrevolvearoundthe belief
thatIamnot enough.Itisafalsenegativebeliefthatpreventsusfrombeingfullyourselves.Evolving
from this realisation, I came to the understanding that therapy can help us with not only identifying
these issues,but itcan alsohelp ustowork throughtheissues thataretriggersforus,sowecanaccept
them,ratherthanreacttothem.
Thatbeingsaid,nofocuson professional developmentisadequatewithoutpayingmuchgreater
attentiontothepersonaldevelopment ofourselves.Wemustunderstandwhyandhowwearelikelyto
reactingivensituations,andknowwhattriggersouremotionalresponses.
As the full person of the therapist isthe mostsignificantfactorin thetherapeutic work,wemust be
able to clearlydistinguish between ourissuesandthe clients issues,andbe
open to ongoing change,

modification and selfanalysis

.Wemustalso know whereourpersonalboundariesare,byworking on
our selfcare. Tobe abletodifferentiatebetweenhowweperceiveourselvesandhow wewouldliketo
beperceived.Thisistomeanongoingprocess,verysimilartowhatweexpectinourclients.

THEUNAWARETHERAPISTISCONSIDEREDUNHELPFULTOHIMSELFANDCLIENTS

Summary

To summarize our essay first we discussed what personal developmentis,whatthedefinition

means to me and how other wellknown therapists describe it. Following the definition of thetitle,I
looked at Uri Bronfenbrenners ecological systems theory through which our personality develops.
Next, we examined when we can call the therapist unaware, and helped to demonstrate it with an
example from my own personal practice. We discussed the locus of evaluation and its value. We
describedmindfulnessas ausefulmethodtobecomingmore selfaware.Finally,
Isharedwhat lessons
of selfknowledge I learned and its significance, in both my personal and future professional life as
practicingtherapeutist.

References

Paul C. Vitz (1994) Psychology as Religion, The Cult of Self Worship, Second Edition, Wm. B.
EerdmansPublishingCo.
Joseph, Frank (1990) Dostoevsky: The Years of Ordeal, 18501859, Fourth Printing, Princeton
UniversityPress
Becket,C.&Taylor,H.(2010)HumanGrowth&Development.London,Sage
Patricia L. Munhall & Joseph Macken (2001)
The Emergenceof FamilyInto the21stCentury,Jones
andBartlettPublishersInc.

Mearns,D.&Thorne,B.(2013)PersonCentredCounsellinginAction.4
th
Ed.London,Sage.
Rogers,C.R(1951)ClientCenteredTherapy.
Boston,HoughtonMifflinCo.

Rachel, Freeth (2007)

Humanising Psychiatry and Mental Health Care: The Challenge of thePerson.
RadcliffePublishingLtd.

Weblinks:
IAPTSelfhelpConference,Leeds,February,2009.
URL:
http://www.iapt.nhs.uk/silo/files/goodpracticeguidanceontheuseofselfhelpmaterialswithiniaptse
rvices.pdf