Agony Churns My Heart

1
Agony Churns
My Heart
- HARIHAR JHA
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INDEX
TITLES
PAGEFore
Foreword
Preface
My Death
13
Blackens Your Face
15
A Prank
16
A Half Poet
17
An Exam
18
Silently Expressive!
19
Lotus in the Mud
20
Make a Move
21
Let Them Blossom
22
Don't Feel Shy
23
The Cave
24
I am Silent
25
In the Rain
26
PLEASURE OR PAIN?
27
I dont know why?
28
Agony churns my heart
29
LIVE AND LET LIVE

My friend!
30
31
The Horse
32
Moment
33
Since I left the caves
34
Crake of dawn
35
Valentine's day
36
Your sweet memory
37
A Gulmohr Tree
38
The Heartache
39
Love is the essence of life
40
My mother
41
My Paper-Made Boat
42
Be it Kargil or Gallipoli
43
Smiled the Sun
44
My Ego
45
Desert Me Not
46
Getting Sadistic Pleasure
47
The boredom
48
Paradox
49
Poor Me
50
Promise
51
You are a bore darling
52
Autumn
53
For Her Hundred Questions
54
In love
55
It is dawn
56
Lisa!
57
My Father
58
Ram and Ravan
59
The terrible hurricane
60
The Gunpowder of Abhorrence
61
The weather
62
Towards The Sky
63
A Spiritual Feel!
64
A Fall in Love
65
Cheers Or Jeers
66
Eyes Dripping Tears
67
Hobbits disappeared
68
Hunger - 3 Faces
69
Long live hypocrisy
70
Love is an illusion
71
My will and pleasure
72
She Is The Girl
73
Your look
74
Why Torture?
75
Birds
76
Hunger And Gloom
77
Folly of the wisdom
78
Mask
79
Who Is Wrong?
80
Her Teasing Face
81
The Camera
82
Stunning Melbourne
83
Foreword
Harihar Rai Jha known widely as Harihar Jha is by birth at
thinker, devotee from the devout class, the Jhas. He took to poesy as
a duck takes to water for it has been his fond passion to think,
imagine and give expression to his fancy and feelings.
Churning Heart is a collection of poems on a variety of subjects,

themes, ruminations, a conglomeration of ideas and imaginative
flights. Variety is the hall mark of Harihars imaginative-creative
oeuvre. The speakers of some of the poems are the figments of the
poets imagination. Deep cerebration and gumption for quick
expression characterize the work of this poet which lingers long in
the readers imaginative understanding. There are moments of
intense thinking and sublime expression as in the following lines
which are ubiquitous in this collection.
Enough of mutual hatred, friends!

Have nectar of peace to dive
Death has danced enough so far
Its era of Live and Let Live
Understanding the biology of poetic creation makes a poet a unique

creator:
It gives inspiration and decorates

Noble souls with a garland of flames
And lo! A poem emerges as a smile.
-Dr V.V.B.Rama Rao
PREFACE
What is a poem? The question is as much hardas to
define life of oneself. Any definition is a constraint on
either. I have passed through some definitions of poetry
but intuitively I love the concept of "Satyam, Shivam,
Sundaram". Every poem touches some part of it.
Satyam : The concept of truth doesn't care about bitterness
or even ugliness in it which is often seen in modern
poetry. Thanks to Freud, he unearthed the animal hidden in
man. The psychoanalytical research has influenced every
field in the art including poetry :
Flame of burning fire trying to embrace
When out of control, it blackens your face
In humans, instinct of love is supreme
Dance, art and literature have the same theme
Suppressed love is anger poised to slaughter
like a thirsty man fighting for water
Shivam :Taking responsibility for one's own thought and optimism in
poetry is often reflected in life that leads to Shivam
The shooting star disappeared
Wrote on the sky with precision
10
Cheers and jeers whatever you want

You will get in your own vision
Sundaram:Romanticism prevalent in poetry falls in this
category.
What a mystery in the attraction of opposite!
Your dead silence is very frightening
so much mysterious is your laughter
no escape! you are thunder and lightening !
to merge in you I come tumbling after
It sometimes leads toobsessive passion :
Me getting infatuated
Your invincible smile to blind
And in flood of existence
A jingle chorus in my mind
Then it turns romantic as the feeling of love matures.
Your charming, melodious, titillating song
drunk in desire, still innocent quite
in a wave of love so high and strong
your beauty like rainbow pleasant and bright
And thus poetry takes us to the journey of our life. If life
and death are two sides of a coin, poem is the coin itself.
11
With love I am ready to be breakfast next

Death licking me while I taste my death
My soul is fulfilled but ego perplexed
So a poet must handle every poemcarefully . A fractured poem may
make its poet popular but it will injure the heart of poet.
I inflicted wounds on all my poems
They were sobbing in tears, What a disgrace!
with clothes on their body I hide my sin!
no one can notice cuts on their faces
Such poems are all just pornographic jokes,
you appreciate fantastically
but my heart knows the praise showered on me
should be told very sarcastically
A real poem emerges from heart:
And lo! A poem emerges with a smile!
12
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
I acknowledge the contribution of my mother and father for
their blessings and my careful nurture and of my brothers
for their intellectual companionship.
I also acknowledge
hereditary contribution of my grandfather whom I have

never seen but whose stories as pioneer and the first
English Teacher still prevail as folklore in my hometown. I
am grateful to my wife and children for their support in
writing. Also I am grateful to ShriRajenderKrishan and Ms

AparnaChatterjee from Boloji.com for building my confidence
on writing poems and to ShriRamaraoVadapalli for his kind
remarks.
13
My Death
The Death has drawn a line on me
Mind in blunder, my heart in wonder
I see the death coming near me
Spreading black veil, making me blind
Shaking my bones, and veins are blown
A wave in melody piercing my mind
Song from the birds rolling on a death cup
What clouds reveal, wet fragrance I feel
From earth to cosmos, umbrella opens up
With love I am ready to be breakfast next
Death licking me while I taste my death
My soul is fulfilled but ego perplexed
The world is dissolved, Im going to die
Nothingness looming and silence blooming
Peace everywhere Im flying in the sky.
Order from heavens passing my ears
Take me my dear with joy and cheers
People around me why shedding tears?
14
Blackens Your Face

Flame of burning fire trying to embrace
In humans, instinct of love is supreme
Dance, art and literature have the same theme
Suppressed love is anger poised to slaughter
like a thirsty man fighting for water
Ready to dump wisdom, What a disgrace!
Restless mind without love always turns blind
animal beats the saint sitting in the mind
Roaming here and there, sad story to tell
With addiction of lust falling in the well
Water snakes in dream trying hard to chase
When erotic story turns chaotic
Man in love acts like a mad psychotic
Cupid takes revenge in the dress of love
Helpless man inside behaves like a dove
Passion dashing noble thoughts to replace
15
A Prank
A blind girl asks me, "is it day or night?"
my old classmate she is, not blind by birth
I get hurt when she asks in broad day light
to answer is futile, what is its worth?
Her bad luck it was, a prank turned tragic
accident happened in a chemistry lab
perceived as no one's fault what a magic!
a few people thought it was hide and stab.
At her silly question my head explodes
pain in my blood infiltrates into bones
how to help her, sympathy makes inroads
Why do I melt when my heart is like a stone?
Anguish in me tries to escape in vain
A guilt-ridden man cries in throbbing pain
16
A Half Poet
Am I really a poet or a joker
You said I amuse you and make you laugh
with all futile attempts to win your heart
I am half poet and a joker half
Poem is more than a flowing river
it should be composed cleaner and neater
so I'm attentive of rhyme and rhythm
precisely I measure foot and meter
I have nice collection of poetry
but publisher saw me with empty purse
somehow he wanted to escape from me
cunningly asked me to change in free verse
I inflicted wounds on all my poems
They were sobbing in tears, What a disgrace!
with clothes on their body I hide my sin!
no one can notice cuts on their faces
Such poems are all just pornographic jokes,
you appreciate fantastically
but my heart knows the praise showered on me
should be told very sarcastically
17
An Exam
An exam knocking at the door
how to avoid, I desperately try
my body trembles in helplessness
like an orphan, I feel like crying
I try to read, the books are flying
frightened I attempt to scream
what a nasty and strange the moment
looks like Im in a dream...
my note-book shaping like blue sky
my mind in puzzle unable to guide
shaking my hand turns into a pen
but the ink of my charity is dried
breathing my last reciting in vain
I hold my heart in awe
a brief homage being paid in tears
for me or for my grandma!
I am dragged to an examination hall
I find it hard to breathe
an angle of death as examiner
just dreaming? or is it my death?
18
Silently Expressive
Silently expressive!
How to quench the heart strongly flaming in
Fire-balls in ashes burning me within
Heart speaks and body blazes
Doh Re Me... from the limbs
Breathing is mute, the soul is frightened.
Silent stars in cosmos rebirth
Who listens to the tiny earth?
Poor man is shedding tears
Emotional poem composed in rhyme
Walked through the ladder, dancing in rhythm
melted in a divine meditation
Roads from life lead to death
Shrill voice of consciousness, hard to breathe
19
Lotus in the Mud

My heart has turned into a stone
some rocks hit against and break
to flow in the river
but still desire to see the seedling sprouting
is alive
Hope to hear melodious songs from birds
is active
and dreams of fragrance from the flowers
yet remains...
Someone has plunged his sword
into intestine of the wasteland Earth
and yet,
in these threatening and roaring clouds,
the desire for showering compassion is still alive.
Hope from the heartless earth
to grow passionate sensitivity is still active.
Appeal to the dead sky
to rain the life-force yet remains...
There is no place for platonic love now
What is Love? But just a deal
an equation in Mathematics
or a computer program
flowing chemicals of a few organic compounds
In spread of the mud,
Hope to lotus blossom
yet remains...
20
Make a Move
Make a move from this hypocritical world
away from the mechanical life
for a picnic with friends and wife
Throw your formal dresses
and laugh in a jolly mood
Nicely arrange our lunch and diner
but a gimmick in search for food.
Lets go shouting songs
rhythm from collective consciousness
like nomads going global,
Pretending to lose our ways on a bush-walk
then jump to contact on mobile
Lets go and appreciate
trees, forest and stars
Boast of creating peace in mind
the magic of healing scars
Then how come we start fights
angered over trivial matters
Hot discussion, war of words
tranquility to shatter...
21
Let Them Blossom

In strange people, in hostile aliens
Peep through and see God in all
Variety of flowers in this garden
Let them blossom and enjoy the fragrance
Fire erupted in cosmos, Sun and Moon got destroyed
Death dancing in chaos, steps involved in error
Now all sobbing in cold wave, why so much of the snowfall?
In the swing of these extremes, terror rolls on anti-terror
Have restrain said mother earth,
Sense how delicate is life!
Variety of flowers in the garden
Women shackled and handcuffed, all sympathy meaningless
Euphemism dancing around robed in a shining dress
And lo! hypocrisy is thrown, vision of world awakened
Soon declared equality to march in the path of progress
Are they commodities or powerless you think?
Admire womens potential
Source of love like buds in a garden
22
Don't Feel Shy

Dont feel shy in the sweet moments darling!
lest the redness of dawn may hide under the clouds
Wine from your eyes is for me to consume
flowers in your laughter for me, my fragrance
river of youthful rapture is not to disperse
beauty like a red rose for me to delight
Be stylish or smile but dont feel shy
Your charming, melodious, titillating song
drunk in desire, still innocent quite
in a wave of love so high and strong
your beauty like rainbow pleasant and bright
Flood my soul with joy, dont feel shy
23
The Cave
I am sitting in a cave
feel innocent and younger
tree branches like artery
just to satisfy hunger
Someone is breathing for me
here all leisure and no fight
lovely music like heartbeat
I listen whole day and night
No effort, no work for me
all comfort comes by snuggle
what a wonder cave it is
preparing for a struggle
Will drive me out of the cave
through a very narrow route
I cant stay inside for long
still very tough to come out
Lazy bone no work for me
my mother is the rover
I will be pushed out soon
when just nine months are over
24
I am Silent
Since my birth when I cried heartily
Tried so hard again but still I am silent
Great style my sweetheart! Who killed your soul?
You dared to ask me and I am silent
Me hungry of love, you asked me to be far away
Not to show wounds in my heart I am silent
Tears of sorrow to sip with smile on face
Ocean of sorrow in line and I am silent
River of love flowing in my heart
You ask me to shed tears, I am silent
You rubbed salt on injury instead of ointment
Isnt that too much that I am silent ?
Love is sin - I went for crime after crime
Trapped in the mud of guilt I am silent
On death-bed, God asking the truth behind my guilt
The truth and the only truth is : I am silent.
25
IN THE RAIN
In the rain with you,
my heart is a garden
a dancing peacock appears
Stupid the rain!
when you are away
It brings a flood of tears...
Wet is romantic air in your love
and wet is all our bodies
How to open our tender hearts
when we both are quite and shy
Your anklet sounds to express passion
and ringing bangles conveying...
Lips unable to speak emotion
Then blowing wind comes helping
In the pouring rain when you are missing
Tough to pass the lonely night
the long garland with all its fragrance
jumps as a cobra ready to bite.
Why the garden so green yet blowing
Storm of fire to slaughter
passion in air, flame in the heart
fire blazing in the water...
26
PLEASURE OR PAIN
Your dead silence is very frightening
so much mysterious is your laughter
no escape! you are thunder and lightening !
to merge in you I come tumbling after
You annihilate my sturdy feeling
and blast the cobweb of my complex thoughts
with love you flood my heart's core and ceiling
what a real volcano your touch has brought
Magic in you has a spiritual credo
fountain of cheers emerging from your eyes
craving desire with cheering libido
in pain suffers silently, my heart cries
In you I have jumped , be it loss or gain
God knows this passion is pleasure or pain?
27
DONT KNOW WHY?
I see a crying hungry child

My hands dip in a philosophical puzzle
What is hunger and what is pain?
What is body and what is a soul?
I see a woman being dragged by a sinner
My eyes searching for the answer.
Who is victim here and who is a culprit?
What is love and what is lust?
Live knives and crying dead bodies
In a communal riot
My ears only want to listen
Who is Hindu here and who is Muslim
Who are my own?
And the rest are aliens.
I dont know why?
My eyes, ears , hands and legs
Have turned into Mind
And where is my Mind?
Dancing like a puppet
To the tune of these cunning snake-charmers.
28
AGONY CHURNS MY HEART

and lo! a poem emerges with a smile!
All weapons are silent
Who is this crazy fellow
Singing peace in the battlefield?
The world is shocked
How come a canon used to throw fireballs
Now peacefully blossoming the flowers?
When agony surrounds my lips
A poem of love comes out!
Men are reduced to insects
In torture-camps
Then the poem reminds about the martyrs
Sings their praise hand-folded
It gives inspiration and decorates
Noble souls with a garland of flames
and lo! a poem emerges with a smile!
29
LIVE AND LET LIVE

Enough of mutual hatred, Friends!
Have nectar of peace to dive
Death has danced enough so far
It's era of Live and let live.
For nation, race and religion
Battles and war enough
Now a call to humanity
Stop the political bluff
Roar like a lion if you face
War-monger with insanity
Not by feeling of hatred
Firm with belief in humanity
The world is a marvellous pub
Saaki has enough of drinks,
But afraid of mischievous eyes
frightened, pale she sinks.
Wash your sin, Be drunk in peace
Spirituality to drive
In Khayyam's poetic lyrics
Era of Live and let live.
30
MY FRIEND
My friend! we came here
away from that mechanical life
happy on the bike with speed double
now look at the thorns in tube and tyre
how to cope with this trouble?
My friend! on the way we had put
lust of inner life in musical dress
shouting third rate songs, beat and rhythm in mess
now if we sing or cry on the bank of lonely river
our own shadow will tease and laugh at us
now enough of the tune of the singing birds
enough of the praise for the open sky
enough hypocrisy of the mental peace
Claim to be one with the nature so lie
with dust flying around our mouth and nose
Push thorny bicycle, on the filthy narrow track
with fit of anger, enraged in our heart
Oh my friend! let us speedily return back
31
THE HORSES
Horses
of ambition and greed
are running
Not only on plain ground
they climb over the ladder
surely legs are blood-bathed
but carrying the burden
of the worldly cart
flying in the high sky
insulting the birds of tender-feeling.
These horses have given me
infinite strength
envy of friends,
abuse of foes
sarcastic smile of strangers.
I have got everything
on my own using these horses
by sacrificing myself
to make the horses
winning victorious, conquering.
32
MOMENT
A moment flowing like a drop in a river
Try hold in a box golden or silver
I exhausted my life thinking and thinking
Each time I got losing or wining!
Wasted my life converting into money
Like a busy bee creating honey
"Tick Tick" said moment in a mechanical scheme
Lost my life through a cobweb of dreams!
The moment stopes flowing when you are alone
Flies like a bird when a party is thrown
Moments of sorrow can cry loudly
Clapping moments of joy proudly
World is a drama with emotions all
Who knows when will curtain fall
The lamp of life gets all dissolved
Still the mystery is not resolved.
Layer by layer, like an onion
Moment itself opens up
Strangely combines a pungent dish
Flavoured with a sweet cup.
33
SINCE I LEFT THE CAVES

Since I left the caves,
I wrote Vedas and Bible
Philosophy and science
Erotic books and songs tribal.
I have been boasting on being son of God
till Darwins Monkey checks
I make celibacy an ideal of life
till Freuds pervasive sex
Man is like insects
God is dead that is Nietzsches libel
Since I left the caves,
I wrote Vedas and Bible.
Thread from the fibres of words
tied myself to cope
I fell in love with every book
that is prison be tied with rope
But pretending creator of universe
In dream Im riding waves
I wrote Vedas and Bible
Since I left the caves
34
CRAKE OF DAWN
A lonesome branch embraced
And squeezed the chest of a tree
Smiled the breeze in her heart
and passed by the sea
Crake of dawn is fine! and so is lukewarm unshine
Merging in sweat of burning noon
Sky to the depth in light
Ah! Dream Melody emerged from
A cave of frightening night
Crake of dawn is fine! and so is lukewarm sunshine
Naughty someone during night
Blackened the face of Miss earth!
No one to care for her dews like tears
Then what is all its worth?
Came sweet Morning with garden wind
What a flowery and fruity!
Tears of happiness that was dew
and got again her beauty
Crake of dawn is fine! and so is lukewarm sunshine
35
VALENTINE'S DAY
My heart is throbbing and my mind gets crazy
When I hear your song of love
You shine as fibres of moonlight
dressed in a dazzling glove
Sweet sound from earth to heaven
Craving overflow by tide
In a playful eyes of passion
The soul of love on ride
Came the spring, couples got crazy
Urge to love gets shine
Came the spring, couples dancing
Shaking like a glass of wine
The rhythm buzzing and wonderful beats
Vibrating body chirps like a bird
My heart throbbing and mind got crazy
When hear your song of love
36
YOUR SWEET MEMORY

Since you left me, Oh sweetheart!
My heart in silence teasing apart
hidden in sky I see you in showers
in beat of my heart full up of scars
Your beautiful lips smiling in flowers
your charming eyes peeping thru stars
your love inspiring for music and art
in dreams I see you to quench my thirst
weaving daydreams still agony so much
eyes in my mind, your image to clutch
how to bring charm, your beauty, your touch!
Sinking my lonely heart, tears to start
37
A GULMOHR TREE
Pouring compassion of heaven on this earth
God decides a small lovely village to bless
with gift of nature in a wonderful form
a Gulmohr tree in an aesthetic dress
The singing air with so much pleasing fragrance
air of love is blowing from the tree so nice
people breathing fire in the fits of anger
how come they are drunk-dead in cool breeze of peace
sitting, enjoying in the lap of Nature
travelers planning further journey to start
agony transformed into sensitivity
filling happiness and pleasure in the heart
on forehead of the old people so relaxed
disappeared the flowing sweat-drops of heat
their both hands come forward to give the blessings
when all children with due respect touch their feet.
teen-agers chat in dense shadow of the tree
to solve problems and remove the thorns of strife
feeling very enthusiastic and fresh
they proceed on their future vision of life
38
THE HEARTACHE
A point behind the intricacy
the heartache is beyond cure
thunderous big bang from your anklet
universe emerging in flashes
The star, planet and satellite
are shining dots from your eyelashes
The clouds just like black-holes
are lamp black for your eyes
billion years have passed
in search of love, the heart cries
since then tears of separation
formed huge ocean for sure
You, dancing in fish, flying in birds
In monkeys, humans you are on play
Your craving for love sneaking in reptiles
Darwin lost the way
life with a heart and source of heartache
39
LOVE IS THE ESSENCE OF LIFE

The world sleeps in the lap of Mother Night
who braves the darkness scars
Happy sky garlanding her
with moon and shining stars
As a lover and itself a mirror
the sky looking at Night
love is the essence of life
Nature carries world's burden
with love and hope fervent
greedy man! Don't treat her
just like a maid servant
Don't put hole in your boat stupid!
Pray the Nature, you are in middle of the stream
The existence is difficult with pride and prejudice,
thriving war and blood
yet from libido emerges the fibres
to flow the essence of love
the spring goes beyond the selfishness and lust
40
MY MOTHER
The tasty food, you cook is unbeatable my mother!
The stuff in even five-star-hotels is all bloody junk
The silly waiter ready here to obey my order
salutes me and bends, just for no tips who fiercely taunts!
then very amazed I remember love in your anger
I miss you in lavish hotels, confused on what I want
you scold me in your love that always purifies my soul
I grew in your kind shadow to see many lovely dreams
I passed thru each and every pain to attain the great height
I built in the air, the castles to get prosperity
My mental peace lost forever I keep crying whole night
I get peace of mind when recall one of your cradle songs
In my whole life I mastered the maths of loss and profit
In competition and jealousy living in suspense
on dazzling path but you are away, What a hollow life!
money is God, money is love, I fell prey to nonsense
I get relief in your smile on all my silly blunders
41
MY PAPER-MADE BOAT
Flood in the river, dead bodies to float
Wonderful, I drive my paper-made boat!
World is bitter over quarrel and feud
Happy my daughter with succour of food
Dazzle in city, my village remote
Bomb on the masses from killer so sly
smoke from the clouds are spreading in the sky
Yet innocent swans are ready to float
Fighting for greed and lust to wine and dine
hungry gets nothing yet gluttons take nine
Crowing on rewards from almighty God
Earth being cheated by aliens cut-throat
stars and meteors are colliding a lot
A hot ball going in my old torn coat
42
BE IT KARGIL OR GALLIPOLI
Hide and seek with the death
Be it Cargill or Gallipoli
The truth in the chess of war
No one is king or pawn
when hit by a bullet in the chest
One who is martyr in the war
hailed as a champion in the history
after dying in the bloodbath
everyone respects the martyr
man in the street and the noble
sacrifice, the paradigm of society
Deceit with their own life
sympathy with the crying wife
the little girl still very innocent
43
SMILED THE SUN

Craving of a candle turned into pain
Scratched and just got melted
Shouted owing to heat of tears
Got divided and detached.
Joy in life somehow disappeared
Love got silenced soon
Summer chewed the vast ocean
Darkness swallowed the moon.
Scary river pulling with the force
So long hair of the hill
Frightened air was tightly clutching
the multi-arms of mountain
Smiled the Sun looking at this
then laughed to the depth of sky
Lo! how come so soon got washed away
every shadow of the cry.
Roaming clouds now trying to imitate
the tune of dancing men
Dance of lightning turned into love
craving of love throbbed again.
44
MY EGO
How to grab arteries of mankind
No mind should be free
name to occupy everywhere
me... and only me...
seers tell us of dissolving ego
merge in the cosmic jar
how funny have bankruptcy in business
claim owning bazaar
forget all, Look how pretty lovely!
my ego, my name!
the question keeps troubling me again
the truth in seers' claim
why seeker in a wild forest gets
Divine Buddha fame!
But king Shuddhodhan is recognised
By only son's name.
Kings and thorns have aggressive ego
Rose bud always knows.
The man as always appreciates
Fragrance of the rose.
45
DESERT ME NOT
Desert me not then how can even death touch me
When you are with me, death always shy to clutch me
Tied by fibres of love in sweet relation's thread
heart throbbing with your magic touch, my pleasure gleams
your presence glowing my life, I get mesmerised
my directions gobble up, I get lost in dreams
Hypnotising your look, your magic so pleasing
your delicate limbs, how can you hurt anyone!
But your looks make one wounded, even devils flee
Like Angel's brush, you have very sharp eyelashes
Demons for me go away without taking me
Legend-lovers' story is again repeated!
Crooked Death, the dirty-face can't look in mirror
your glitter, your stunning beauty, how can he brave!
facing you, in blunder he surely will be slipped
Bound to say O delicate! catch my hand and save
Your intoxicating look! Death himself will die
46
Getting Sadistic Pleasure

throwing venom of hatred around
mass-murder, bloodshed to plan
Have you seen? a poisonous cobra
coming in the dress of man
to accomplish his wicked idea
takes flag of his religion
No morals, no courage in the heart
vulture kills helpless pigeons
Can't see the pain of crying widows
or helpless kids, he is blind
Having a tiny heart of a mouse
no grey matter in his mind
What is compassion? he only knows
how to handle gun and knife
How to capture people for ransom
puts price-tag on human life
how come? he plans to kill in his mind
when active or in leisure
Look at the merchant of blood and flesh
getting sadistic pleasure
47
THE BOREDOM
Getting worst of nausea
on slow road of the time and beyond
just like playful water
turning muddy with mosquitos around
No tree has dried
standing in lonely containment
birds, animals, stars and planets
no one is hungry of entertainment
but me, an intellectual
a provider of nice edge
for my flowing instinct so blind
why do I listen in this dead moment
the noise from the ghost of my mind?
an obstacle in meditation
a barrier in running is my hovering brood
full of wounds from animal instincts
harassing and turning me into a thief, so crude
caught red handed in the thread of perversion,
in the garb of daydreaming
yet nude, simply nude
48
Paradox
Hungry dogs keep barking
Hungry dogs keep barking
Moon sneaking away behind the horizon
In this city
A few corpses bury human beings alive
A few chairs catch the neck of people
Sit over them haughtily
Why budding flowers are being crushed
My soul is furious, enraged
And cries my fuming speech
In response
Angered by not able to crush me
the hungry dogs
catch me with their big forceps
push me in a dog-vehicle
and leave me in a dreaded forest.
49
Poor Me
Lured me to make like you
You snatched away my self
On excuse to lighten me
on my body you added shackles
Engrossed with relation in family
full of leaves and flowers
rootless as I was
You chose to give me power
To give me my own personality
Me nude tree at your request
With the lotion of Beauty-saloon
glued dummy flower on my breast
Veils after veils I was covered
by my Lord, the stone-age guy
You turned me into a bar-girl
For liberation, I couldnt cry
You removed my clothes, layer after layer
For freedom I was keen
What a shame on tragic joy
You peeled off even my skin.
50
Promise
A crooked minister instead of hell
went to heaven he was desirous
Mistake in account of Karma
May be computer had a virus.
His hypocrisy got hidden
Charity visible as paint
The account gobbled in a way
The Minister looked like a saint
But what sort of heaven it is
teasing luxury so well
Burning fire around
Just like in the hell
Fraud, corruption as Minister
were all under his direction
He, innumerable promises
had broken after election
Bribery charges eleven
and broken promises million
virgins image moving around
Just to promise heaven.
51
You are a bore darling

I throw on you beautiful colors of Holi
You tell me boring wavelength of these colors
My idiot Einstein!
What a wonderful occasion of Holi!
I throw a siring of colors
You lecture on atmospheric pressure
A bit of wood gathered by friends
Amid sacred fire of Holi
Why dont you keep with you
your ranting about Save environment
You are a bore darling!
I keep telling you
It is victory of truth over the evil
Holika blazed and Prahlad is saved
You bring fire-proof cloths in between
Bore, You are a bore darling!
What a beautiful dance of Radha-Krishna in Mathura
My bore darling!
You detail on excavation of Dwarka!
52
AUTUMN
Soaked in tears my piano
How can I create a melody?
My childhood a dry autumn
no place for any greenery.
I have sold my playful life
for a few coins, what a deal!
After my sweat and blood
hard to get a squire meal
My childhood put on a mortgage
I joined the labour force
how could I go to the school
With no money, no source
I never complain with my master
for I am bruised and battered
puzzle of love and abuse
Alas! my life is shattered
I deserve smile or chuckle
Why rebuke passing my ears
Scared as always be beaten
who will wipe my tears?
53
FOR HER HUNDRED QUESTIONS

A stubborn king and a stubborn boss goes on you wild
sacred is love of an innocent stubborn child
a stubborn king kills citizen intolerant of
A stubborn boss as always is rude and snappy
but difficult child puts you in ocean of love
Her delightful babble makes everyone happy
A child can ask you to bring moon in her boarder
Just bring garland of stars from the sky for your kid
count teeth of a lion to obey her order
Put live elephant in a jar and close the lid
Break the costly TV to solve her funny quiz
Let her touch the live wire to know what it is!
Be a horse and get whipped for your ducky so cute
Bring a smile to your small darling feeling so sick
many miles away but return in a minute
at the wink of eyes present her a magic stick
gone yesterday should return at her suggestion
you have to give answers for her hundred questions.
54
IN LOVE
YOU OPEN YOUR BEAUTIFUL LIPS TO SAY,
BUT FIND NO WORD TO IMPART
I AM AMAZED, IS IT A STYLE OF LOVE

OR A TURMOIL IN YOUR HEART
I HAVE STITCHED BOTH OF MY LIPS

TO ANSWER NOT THE COMPLAINTS FROM THIS WORLD
NOW TO EXPRESS GRIEF IN MY HEART,
I WHISPER PAIN IN MY POETIC WORDS

THE LIFE IS PLACATING TO OFFER ME MONEY,
POWER AND YOU GUESS
SINCE BARBARIC MURDER OF LOVE IN MY HEART,
WHAT IS THERE TO POSSESS?
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH WHAT YOU SAID YESTERDAY,

WITH JOY I SCREAM
BUT THAT WAS ONLY A BEAUTIFUL DREAM,
MY DARLING, YOU ARE MY DREAM
YOU HAVE SAID "GOOD-BYE" I TAKE SHELTER
IN MY DREAM BEFORE YOU DEPART
DREAMLAND IS MY KINGDOM, I WILL GRAB YOU,

A SURE PROMISE OF MY HEART
55
IT IS DAWN
It is dawn, the Sun feeling shy to meet the world
Yesterday the moon was boasting
how gorgeous am I
Me, metaphor for the beauty
no poet would deny
but helpless before my black spot
disgusting, makes me cry
Filled with humility, and ashamed in the heart
hiding its face under the cloud, moon feeling shy
cupid with its bow and arrow
boasting on youthful run
with splash soaked vigour in body
makes helpless everyone
at anytime with garland wrapped
enjoying squeeze in love
still when faced with the rules in human society
hiding face in his curly hair feeling so shy
It is dawn, the Sun feeling shy to meet the world!
56
LISA
Lisa! You are beautiful but be away
vulgar when so much near on my way
Your slim body with a thin waist
fish like eyes on the cunning face
your walk is like a poisonous cobra
why do you wander at ugly places?
Your heart is guilty, you don't talk
but move anywhere to dwell
Like a movie scene why do you dance
on the wall and roof as well?
Your petty beloved get merged in you
hell with love when you enjoy food yummy
your sweetheart are just tiny insects
Live in your heart or slipping in your tummy?
for amazement, I want to touch you
with my hands but you are quite wizard!
Why do you scare me and trick me around
Lisa ! tell me, are you a lizard?
57
MY FATHER
He used to go in the dark early morning
towards well on down slope of the hill
to view depth of the well in detail
and learn how could it uplift
height of the hill to this scale?
that is why, touch of his fingers
like depth of the well
had a great thrill
when he sent me to school
his blessings were as high as a hill.
all his smile and happiness
surrounded my shallow existence
I was frightened by depth in his grace.
To make me laugh
he used to perform child-like faces
he sow seeds of maturity in me
by such pretence
now I can see the childhood
of maturity of that innocence
58
RAM AND RAVAN

Ravan busy with sinister plan
running after gold and women
fallen in love with his male-ego
making effort to boost again
Afraid of all gods like Sun and Moon
boasting to put them in a cave
to fulfil his false satisfaction
he behaves as if they are slaves
and can't control his demonic thoughts
lust popping out in his leisure
he keeps itching his wanton desires
that is the kind of his pleasure
how possessive, no end to mirage
facing death while living in stress
he leaves his body but doesn't die
his Satan hides in all of us
Ram in heart is happy with Ravan
mix of evil needed in life
not good to make everyone happy
if you have to desert your wife.
59
THE TERRIBLE HURRICANE

River of blood has no boat and impossible to swim
why this terrible hurricane making moon and stars dim
Evil design of the devils
the play of fire to start
random noise of canons and bombs
filling their mind and heart
fighting against all the odds, survival chances are slim
War-mongers in the form of witch
playing game malicious
poverty and malnutrition
come in a circle vicious
spreading epidemic now, aftermath of bombing grim
they have lost all their family
Not a single penny
hopes washed away in the agony
legs lost for many
Cities have turned into graveyard, flying bodies and limbs
60
THE GUNPOWDER OF ABHORRENCE

He didn't get kiss of any loved one
mother for long couldn't stay
poverty hitting his life so hard
he moved on perverted ways
he thought the world is his enemy
no one listened to his cries
the cranky desire to win the world
looming in his stony eyes
once upon a time he had a dream
of joy and love-making tips
peeping in the beloved's charming eyes
engaging lips with her lips
he wanted to serve humanity
and had no wicked desire
now the gunpowder of abhorrence
anger burning as wild fire
killing creates thirst for massacre
conscience hurting inside
misconceived notion of religion
giving false notion of pride
61
THE WEATHER
Winter season of fear is shrinking our life
wave of anxiety it is going to bring
gone the era when flowers used to blossom
many lovely innocent birds used to sing
very tough to solve the mystery of weather
snowfall disappeared now fire blowing at whim
all beautiful clothes soaked in perspiration
flowing dirty hot syrup from all our limbs
A marble statue with delicate veins here
always boasting of tolerance with a plaque
leisurely sitting in air-condition room
in public service and for the fear of cracks
Buds in the park, silently tolerating
heat wave in stoical and detached manner
get burned in fire to have rebirth with a smile
they believe in God as their divine planner
Enough, they revolted like a thorn to pinch
foul smell they emitted was a real bummer
they take mutual revenge against each other
with fear and hate as winter and summer
62
TOWARDS THE SKY

Compassion dripping from drops
cool water flows down a slope
to induce revolt I try
evaporation flaming
water upwards to the sky
flowers in the garden are
looking at the dancing birds
I too want to chirp and fly
to pick pollen floating free
then push some seeds on the earth
to compete with a tall tree.
swinging branches, wingspread birds
sneering on my strain
I want to 'possess' the bliss
not able to deal with pain
I lose veins in the darkness
tension in life and no fun
Death comes just for a second
flame of lamp to merge in Sun.
63
A SPIRITUAL FEEL
In the shadow of a Banyan tree
Garlands and tender branches dangled
sound of footsteps on the door of heart
With divine call I am entangled
Lovely cushion bed with the green grass
The tickling drops of dews so small
entering in pores of my body
melodious sound of waterfall
Smiling flowers in blowing cool wind
What an atmosphere with magic!
How come lovely mysterious sound
kills my ego with speech so tragic
Gentle wind murmuring in the ears
Some revealed Mantra from a master
Then explosion in my shaking mind
like invitation to disaster
Bells from the dome of a holy temple
Growing love and peace in heart to heel
A silence pervading everywhere
It is a great spiritual feel!
64
A FALL IN LOVE
Me getting infatuated
Your invincible smile to blind
and in the flood of existence
A jingle chorus in my mind
You are trampling on my ego
your strange look is waiting to prey
your eyes are peeping in my heart
can't stop them in a sober way
I am forced to tolerate myself
a cyclone emerging around
The lovely nursery has shrunk
it's vibrating with a light sound
heavy moment on my conscience
a scorpion stings my inner bird
how expressive body and mind
why my toung doesn't utter a word
unexpressed feelings like time-bomb
exploding in thundering rage
a helpless look at the horizon
by fluttering bird in a cage
65
CHEERS OR JEERS
Reflection of moon in water
made sleeping lazy-bone stars blind
pleased Ms. Night fell in love with moon
singing in chorus with the wind
The fly was shivering with fear
scared and very afraid to fly
Look, the birds flying in high air
laughed and went to the depth of sky
rising water in lust to live
swallowing all the soil to climb
bubbles happy with single breath
with joy melting in rays of time
The shooting star disappeared
wrote on the sky with precision
cheers or jeers whatever you want
you will get in you own vision
66
EYES DRIPPING TEARS

Agony in the heart expressed thru eyes
turns into intoxicated cheers
wine formed as her eyes dripping tears
She knows villain is writing her fate
Satan's laughter rising in the sky
punishing her lover with dry heart
salty river comes out from her eyes
lot of trouble disguised during sleep
nice and terrific dream appears
perplexed bird is very disappointed
brooding on how to move with great care
how to be safe and avoid danger
how to spread wings in the poisoned air
losing senses, merging in cosmos
collapse brings divine call in her ears
67
HOBBITS DISAPPEARED
God made some pairs like sparrow and pigeon
He made monkey and gorilla, then feared
Can hobbits and men have the same religion?
He tried hard but the hobbits disappeared
It was scary for God, the man without wits
thinks of black and white as species, What a weird!
how will He stop massacre of the hobbits
men will drink blood with red stain on their beard
"we love our brother hobbits" men's slogan
former learnt cooking for the men much revered
in whose heart lies the dictator Shogun
will arrange the others being bashed and smeared
tiny little heart of silly man linked
with the fact that little hobbits are extinct
68
HUNGER - 3 FACES
Lo! Fire in man creates all troubles and yearning
How can ocean quench thirst when the earth is burning
Birds are love-hungry, They kiss each other with beak
Repressed Stupid man, hides feelings in his pink cheek.
Bluffs and Diverts mind, Thru wild imagination
No peace of mind on a road with twist and turning
Hunger makes a man, Rebel without any shame
Politicians exploit it, Power is their aim
It is the same struggle, Between haves and have-nots
Drink made of poor's blood is wealthy person's earning
Whole world shakes, before my money, power and fame
Shock waves return from moon, That makes my aura flame
I am intelligent, And indispensable
I am God and world is mine, everyone is learning
69
LONG LIVE HYPOCRISY

I can never go wrong, I hold all master keys
I am omnipotent, how can you challenge me?
Long live autocracy
Thanks to holy scriptures, all priests taking my side
I'm creator of God, heaven works as I guide
Long live theocracy
In the cobweb of files, regulations and rules
Give bribe and get work done, Moralists are damn fools
Long live bureaucracy
Spin doctors give nice twist, and lie with perfection
Use mob psychology, to win the election
Long live democracy
70
LOVE IS AN ILLUSION
Me thirsty of your love, now in great confusion
Love is an illusion
Almighty's grace was raining down when I was born
A cyclone passed by my chest when the heart was torn
Your little self haunting me what a delusion!
Love is an illusion
When we were moving away both were in distress
Salty tears in eyes and the moment was tasteless
Pain in life and life in pain both are in fusion
Love is an illusion
My heart was crying when heard your sob in bereft
Your sweet memory in disarray since you left
Deep oceans have dried, swelling junk on intrusion
Love is an illusion
My flesh so cold and the lightning in my blood
Lips are thirsty, my lonely heart sinking in flood
Looking for God when my savior on allusion
Love is an illusion
71
MY WILL AND PLEASURE

I pretend to read Bible and Koran
to show no fanatic mentality
I claim not succumb to social pressure
This is me and my personality
I don't like rotten rituals,
sacred fire, animal slaughter
yet agree to give handsome dowry
in the marriage of my lovely daughter
If I spend money on death rituals
or in superstitious leisure
that is my status and my ego
What I do is my will and pleasure!
Deep down in me is a terrorist
bloody black-mailing my emotions
and crying no one can pressurise
I have my own personal notion
I sacrifice for my religion
good heaven is my thrill
I'm not hypocrite or irrational
What I do is my own sweet will
72
SHE IS THE GIRL

A lovely girl played syringe on Holi with me
sudden spell of colors that was frightening
then pierced my mind and heart just like an arrow
she was dancing but her steps were like lightening
beautiful like a moon described in fairytale
her seductive style and she is full of joy
many eyes staring her but she moves fearlessly
makes me jealous when goes with the naughty boys
my world is getting colorful by her presence
her spilling youthfulness is nature's tribute
not innocent but she is so much generous
she is full of love and wants to distribute
I catch her wrist and gently twist to tease her
my delicate heart why does she want to hurt
her lovely 'no' with a great style scares me a lot
she is the only girl with whom I want to flirt
I always think of her coquetry so perfect
pink shy and timid, next moment she is free
I have come across many floozies in my life
but my heart knows she is the girl who loves me
73
YOUR LOOK
When you see at the waterfall with amazement
your look goes beyond to a wonderful extent
floating black clouds merging in your hair to rain
microscopic water drops playing with your cheeks
humming sound from bumble bees surrounds your beauty
you mystify the air, surrounding branches speak
you see the laughing flowers and smile with a style
flowers drop down as they see beauty in your smile
fire erupted in rain when your eyes were angry
and when you calm down, birds fly over the ocean
cruel your eyelashes when something you dont like
lovely face when you bite your lips in emotion
very innocent your eyes hide a bush of thorns.
hurt when you pierce in my heart more than wild horn
I glue to your eyes when you see actors on stage
your thrilled expression match the overflowing strife
you murmur against the villain to embarrass
acting is mechanical, you give it a life
as you see the drama with sorrow and happiness
I see a play on your face of relax and stress
74
WHY TORTURE
Listen the tragic story and tears may start
I cried and cried, my heart falling apart
to get the secret they give pain and stress
hammer nails in the body makes it a mess
they tease and torment with a nasty wire
pocking in the flesh pains like electric fire
force of compassion I wish to impart
the war and terror of worms near the wound
they shout and laugh loudly, moving around
tears and blood boiling but there is no sound
pain miserable, pain ho pause! no bound
still no secret from your tongue shall depart
melting burn reaching bones, what a scorcher !
oh God ! why do you allow this torture
wind from Satan is a sadistic breath
Take away your gift of life, worse than death
tough to drag sympathy out of cold heart
75
Birds
They never complain against thunderstorm
birds tolerate sun stroke and take hot baths
crash and burn wings and hunger they transform
they keep instinct orderly in their path
even in dreams, never as bad as man
go outside in daylight and sleep in dark
like humans, they don't aggressively plan
just sew their agony and never bark
they don't budge to human instinct of war
or use religion and make suicide bombs
spread both their wings in the clouds to explore
in trouble without blame game, they keep calm
birds never feel sorry, they never cry
but ride on the air and kiss the azure sky
76
Hunger And Gloom

Juice flowing in the piece of small bread
she mixes in rotten and stinking rice
her dream in relief woven like a thread
in her womb someone biting like a mice
her starving body is burning in pain
mind wavering of a loving mother
with spread of germs and disease in the grains
death for anyone is bad news for her
hopes, passion floating in the waves of time
but call it horror or life sneering death
to produce hungry kid is mother's crime
her decaying body source of new breath
a cradle hanging in a dying womb
can only give birth to hunger and gloom
77
FOLLY OF THE WISDOM
You say the world is a dreamlike journey

in desert we are travellers stranded
with a big bang the death will seize our life
we will depart naked, empty handed
You say leave every trouble and tension
God is simply testing us, let us pray
endure with silence but never complain
God will judge everyone on the doom's day
scriptures are the vision and art of seeing
you frighten people with fear of hell fire
who well deserve to live like human beings!
How nice! You live in air-condition rooms
with indulgence in lust and obscene kiss
what a lavish and luxurious your life!
you teach us poverty is divine bliss
renounce everything and have holy bath
Thanks for your wisdom of life after death
you can't fool us in our commonsense path.
78
MASK
naive children wear mask to frighten their friends
How silly they are! not sober like me!
aren't they proudy and stupid in the end
I'm ideal inside out, you must agree
I am a great thinker and free from bias
but chase any target at your command
Get crooked work done if you are my boss
I twist my scruples , ethics on demand
with no morals or shame, I do shuttle
be any situation, I must win
pain in my heart so severe and subtle
I hide to transplant mask beneath my skin
children use mask just to play and enjoy
to hide my fear and greed masks I deploy
79
WHO IS WRONG?
On clothes of mother nature dirt gathers
silly men torment her with a great pride
time gone when nice gardens used to lather
with lovely fragrance like newly wed bride
grape farms are supervised by greedy dogs
who spoil everything above and beneath
spreading pollution, acid rain and fog
nicely play by squeezing flesh in their teeth
some creatures live near dustbin like pigs
carry blame for spreading foul smell so strong
facts are clouded by arguments very big
no one knows who is right and who is wrong?
on silver scale dead words lie on one side
quite heavier than living kids worldwide
80
Her Teasing Face

so much introvert and reserved I am
unfriendly nature, badly I behave
get angry at slightest provocation
why do I conceal myself in a cave
to share joy and win my friendship she tells
in my ears, stories of her private life
by e-mail she sends honeymoon photos
she knows I could become her husband's wife
why isn't she happy with my lover?
with me why would she maintain any link?
why at all she talks about her hubby?
she enjoys making me jealous, I think
I see everywhere teasing face of her
not to lose temper, solace I prefer
81
The Camera
My fingers slipping from the glass of beer
drunk and happy, overflowing so soon
she had filled up my heart with joy and love
how cheerful! I was on top of the moon
to now beat the silence of loneliness
I do good as I believe in Karma
I am a writer and film-director
work on dazzling light with camera
my heart full of hurt, the camera knows
her lustful eyes on body of my soul
exploits painful memory of my past
gathers images with awful control
prostitution or creativity?
being naked is shameful activity
82
Stunning Melbourne
In God's eternal planning of purists
our stunning Melbourne is everyone's pride
Look! Nature dances here to please the tourists
has lovely fragrance like newly wed bride
With glass of beer we enjoy happy hours
crazy couples dance like a glass of wine
feel on the top of Rialto Tower
that view at night when the city gets shine
Crown Casino and Federation Squire
throbbing culture is part of city life
with spirit of mateship a dream we share
enjoy happily and resolve our strife
Joy of the city I want to impart
its beauty creates passion in my heart

Agony Churns My Heart

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Agony Churns My Heart

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Published by: OnlineGatha The Endless Tale

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