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Living Without Conflict

By Luca DiMatteo
From the onset of time we all have been taught of the concept of conflict: good verses bad, right verses wrong, strong verses weak. This subtle, but
very powerful concept is so deeply entrenched in us that even in the most enlightened conversations it hides, only to rear up when we least expect it.
We discuss ideals of overcoming the mind, or winning your spirituality back. These expressions, masked in awareness, merely continue reinforcing the
value and habitual expression of conflict. The irony is that we are taught the intricacies of conflict against the outside world and yet we choose not to
challenge the concept of conflict – we do not even see that the conflict exists. We tend to accept it as an absolute and an essential part of all that we
do. Furthermore, and perhaps more importantly, most of us don’t even realize that this conflict is not an external force, but that it emanates from
within us. It leaves us feeling as though we live in a world where we are powerless and have no choice.

The energy associated with conflict is very enticing. It has common characteristics to which we all can relate. We have recognized it almost since the
moment that we began to think cognitively. Generation after generation hands down the conflict energy as part of life’s lessons; as a necessity for
living within our apparently harsh world. A baby appears into the world unaware of the existence of conflict. He experiences each moment of life as it
occurs and then moves to the next. The baby has no knowledge of separation and, by extension, battle. The baby and its caregivers are the entire
world, without ego or judgment. A young child determines quickly that causing conflict can gain or lose toys, books, watching television, or playing
with friends. Unknowingly, parents perpetuate conflict training by reinforcing good behavior with rewards and deterring bad behavior with punish-
ment. It must be understood that this is neither a positive nor a negative trait of parenting; it is merely the way things are. This cycle is just a part of
life’s patterns. It is our unawareness of the pattern that matriculates the habit again and again.

As adults, without awareness, we tend to take a view of struggling through every task. We fail to recognize that there can be a “silver lining” in just
about anything. Ideals are instilled in us as children are carried forward as adults. For example, the concept of paying bills; a continually re-enforced
notion that bill paying is a horrible necessity of life. Imagine if you had to find the oil, drill for it and then deliver it to your home; each month compet-
ing with a million others doing the same. It is a fortunate circumstance that someone will deliver oil to your home and you can keep warm. Well,
worth paying a bill out of gratitude instead of creating conflict. We tend to create inner conflict over matters and then express them outward, never
seeing that we are the cause of our own discomfort.

Conflict is born from within us and is externalized unconsciously, through habit and cultural consent. We may tend to exhort physical or emotional
strength over others in many different ways to make ourselves feel better. What becomes apparent rather quickly is that this feeling of conflict based
supremacy only lasts moments. This conflict is born of the ego and it is an expression of our need for bolstering self-worth. We put great stock in the
belief that we are not good enough as we are; this comes from self-judgment. Ego and judgment lead to separation and isolation from ourselves. As
a result, there is conflict within ourselves. This inner conflict is the root to all external conflict. If we are not in harmony then how can we experience
the true expression of who we are.

The first step to living a life without conflict is taking responsibility for being the creator of the conflict within you. We must accept that conflict is born
of limited belief and is fostered by fear and scarcity. Unawareness of this pattern leads to habitual unhappiness, where we attempt to control and
strategize about outcomes instead of choosing from our true desire. The next time you are presented with making a decision about something, take a
moment and see if you are making the choice from your desire or from the available outcomes you believe would best suit the situation. If conflict
arises in you, perhaps the choice you are making is not from the true expression of your desire. Simply check-in with yourself to see if the choice you
are making would have been the same regardless of the outcome. Do you hear “chatter” going on in your head about the decision? This should be a
clue that you are in conflict. We become engaged with the conflict to the extent that the original want or value of the situation becomes lost.

How do we break the cycle of inner conflict? How do we begin to live without conflict? Imagine living a life where there was no conflict. One in which
there is only choice from the heart with no fear of battling. Accepting yourself as you are is vital to breaking the habit of conflict. Recall that you give
conflict power by believing that you are not good enough. A simple change in perception, or point of view, is in order. It is time to shift from ‘conflict
mode’ to ‘embrace mode’. Each opportunity to make a choice is an opening to create from your expression, from your heart. Acknowledging responsi-
bility for making a choice is paramount to believing in yourself. Developing these points of view, with practice, can lead to an empowered state of
living, one where you are actively creating your world the way you want it to be.

The ability to make choice from desire is within all of us. We need only to be aware of it and to choose from it. Changing your world is merely an ac-
tion of making choices that you truly desire and having trust in expressing them outwardly. The perception of conflict is only written in stone if you
wish it to be.

Please contact Luca at One Community Programs for information about lectures and upcoming events

Earth · Spirit · Balance

www.onecommunityprograms.com
203-215-0070 860-983-4390