TRAINERS GUIDE

Active Listening
The secret of great communicators!

Course designed by:

Kai Roer, ITF 132 (JCI Norway)

Address & other information
To be found on http://www.kairoer.com

Credits:
Mentorboka
By Thor Erik Gulliksen` - http://www.mentorblogg.com

Active Listening, a communication tool

By Daniel F. Perkins & Kate Fogarty - http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/he361

Active Listening Study guide

http://www.studygs.net/listening.htm

Chinese signs
http://blog.nciku.com/blog/en/

Smart Questions: The Essential Strategy

for Successful Managers
By Dorothee Leeds (ISBN-13: 978-0425176597)
Preparation in advance!
Prepare the room, set up the presenter (beamer/projector).
Have enough copies of the participants manual.
All preparations are approximately. 1 hour.
Activities: Red bold
Heading: Blue bold
Important Points: Black bold
Instructions to trainer: normal text
Text the trainer should speak out: italic text
Preparations Work for the trainer(s) before the course:
1. Study the trainers manual and the participants manual.
2. Familiarize yourself with the slides and the other visual
aids used.
3. Prepare one Flipchart with the text: Active Listening, and
draw a nice boarder around it. Leave this visible as the
participants arrive.
Prepare the room chairs (no table) set up in a U-shape. No
more chairs than there are participants.
Prepare a set of Participants manuals one per participant.
Prepare a set of Feedback forms, and pens.
This training requires a relaxed atmosphere, where trust and
comfort is created between the participants, and the trainers.

Course Outline
SUMMARY

Active Listening
The secret of great communicators!
Communication is key. We all focus on telling our own story, and we focus so hard
doing that one thing that we forget to listen to what the other part has to say. And
we miss the target with our message more often than we hit.
By using active listening in your conversations, not only will you be able to
understand the other part better, you will also be able to adopt and adjust your
own message to better hit a home run when you start talking. No matter if you are
selling something, talking with your wife or kids, managing a team or looking for
sponsors for your next JCI event applying active listening will get you the results
you want.

OBJECTIVES

MAIN POINTS

LENGTH

PARTICIPANTS

At the end of the course, the participants will;

understand what active listening is

be able to apply active listening principles in your conversations

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Introduction
Active listening principles
What affects listening
Powerful questions?
Summary

Three hour training: Minimum time required: 120 min, maximum time needed: 180
min
Minimum required: 6 maximum allowed: 60

EQUIPMENT

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

MATERIALS

1. Participants Handout
2. PowerPoint slides
3. Trainers Guide

ROOM LAYOUT

LCD projector (beamer)

Flip charts
Filter pens, three colors.
Notepaper and pens for each participant
Computer / Laptop

Chairs in a U shape. No tables.

Space enough to allow for participants to form groups of two, with chairs.

Time, Slides and Materials

Notes for the Trainer

Course Opening [5 Minutes]
Welcome the participants. Thank the organizing committee and any
honorable members present.
Introduce yourself your name, your Trainers status, your NOM/LOM, and
state the topic of the training.
Hi and welcome to this training about Active listening learn the secrets of
efficient communication.
My name is:
I am a JCI Trainer (CLT/CNT/IG/ITF) in NOM. My local chapter is LOM.
I am very glad that you all made it here to day, and I hope you will enjoy this
training about Active Listening as well as I will.
This training will explain what active listening is, and how you can use active
listening to increase your communication skills to the next level.
The purpose of the training is to give you insights to help you increase your
level of communication, and to develop your interest in active listening.
Course Objectives [5 minutes]
This training will teach you to apply active listening in your life at work, in
your family, with friends.
Active listening will increase your awareness to communication and greatly
develop your abilities and skills of understanding others.
Most importantly, this training will enable you to start practicing your active
listening skills immediately.
This training will not make you an expert, but is designed to develop your
interest in, and to inspire you to learn more about active listening.
Expectations
We all have some expectations for this training. I expect you to be

open minded
actively participating
focusing on the task at hand
trying your best

By acting like this, we all will get the most of this training, and we will be
creating a learning environment where all of us will gain the most possible.

Time, Slides and Materials

Notes for the Trainer

Part one Active listening Principles (20 minutes)
Let us take a look at module one the active listening principles!
Exercise [8 minutes]
The purpose of the exercise is:
1: demonstrate how hard it is for the listener to only listen, not make any
feedback, sounds or questions; and
2: demonstrate that listening is a skill that can be learned and trained.
Instructions:
Form groups of two, (if there is un-even number of participants, the one that
is left over will join as observer in one other group.) one will listen, one will
talk. The talker will choose one of the topics:

Most memorable experience

Best/worse job
Best/worse Travel experience,
My most embarrassing moment

T: The listener shall say nothing; make no sound what so ever, only focus on
the message.
At the end of the exercise, facilitate a discussion, asking these kinds of
questions:

How was this experience?

Did you get the story?
How was it to not be allowed to talk?
Did you notice the body language?
How was the tone of voice?
How was it to talk without getting feedback from the listener?

Round up the exercise by stating:

T: Active, effective listening is a habit, as well as the foundation of effective
communication. Only by paying attention to all the small details in our
communication, will there be efficient communication.
Chinese Listen [1 minute]
T: Before we go into the details, I will teach you some Chinese.
(show first sign)
This is the Chinese sign for ears:
(Show second sign)
This is the sign for eyes,
(Show third sign)
And here is the sign for the heart.
Show next slide, where the signs are combined into the Chinese Listen sign.
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Time, Slides and Materials

Notes for the Trainer

T: When we combine these characters, they make the Chinese word
Listening.
The Chinese word for listening also includes full attention, or to pay full
attention to the one you are listening to.
And listening with your heart, ear and eyes is what active listening is all
about.
Pay attention to the full message [4 minutes]
T: Active listening intentionally focuses on who you are communicating with,
whether in a group or one-to-one, in order to understand what he or she is
saying.
As the listener, you should then be able to repeat back in your own words
what they have said, to their satisfaction.
This does not mean you agree with, but rather understand, what they are
saying.
Discussion
The purpose of this discussion is to look at how body language, words, the
tone of voice and the mental state of both listener and speaker make an
impact on the message. The objective is to clearly show that how you act
both on the listening side, and on the talking side, is part of the full message
that is decoded.
Discuss the impact of the full message with the participants.
Make sure to cover all major areas below:

Words (selection of words used)

o How can the use of words affect the message?
o Think of words with several meanings, semantics and lack of
proficiency of the language spoken

Body language (relaxed, tense, calm, nervous)

o How can body language influence the message? Examples?

Tone of voice (low, high, quick, slow)

o How does the tone of voice influence the message? Examples?

Mental state (anger, happy, sad, distressed, afraid)

o How can the mental state impact the communication?

You should prepare some samples of each area, preferably based upon your
own experience. Examples may be:

Words: consider a nuclear scientist discussing his work with a colleague.

What are the chances you will be able to understand, unless you are also
a nuclear scientist?

Body Language: imagine a child asking for candy. Notice how she nods
her head while asking Can I have some candy, please?

Time, Slides and Materials

Notes for the Trainer

Tone of voice: Imagine how screaming a Yes or a No impacts the

message, how it differs from the yes or no of lovers.

Mental state: Consider the different way you communicate with someone if
you are late, tired and stressed out, compared to having no rush and being
in full control of the situation.
Exercise [30 minutes]
It is time to practice what we have learned. Please instruct the participants to
use the same pairs, and to put their chairs together so that the front left leg of
one chair touches the front leg of the other so the participants are facing
towards each other, with their legs and body to the left of the other.
T: The reason we choose to sit like this is to enable you to sit close, without
being in each others personal space. As a bonus, you are now able to see
the whole body of the other party, enabling you to read the full message.
Instructions:
There will be one listener, and one talker in each group. This time, the
listener is allowed to interact, mimicking and asking questions, as well as
making comments.
T: The most important is to pay attention to the body language (how does it
enforce the message?), the tone of voice (does it change as the story goes
on?), the words used (are they adapted to the level of the listener and the
story?) and the mental state of the talker (this room may be disturbing,
causing stress).
After ten minutes, the roles will be changed. (NOTE TO TRAINER: You need
to time this, and tell them when to change).
The groups are free to talk about anything. The purpose of this exercise is to
let the participants experience by them selves how important it is to pay full
attention to the talker, and to show that we do this unconsciously all the time.
The idea is to become aware of how we read other people, and start to
understand how this enhances the message.
When the exercise is over, facilitate a group discussion where you focus on
their learning experience. Let the participants share their knowledge, look for
acknowledgements from other participants (they will nod, smile or raise their
hands too), and ask them to contribute to the sharing too.
Remember to thank each participant for sharing, as this increases the
likelihood of others to share too.
Use questions like:

How was this exercise compared to the first one?

What made it harder / easier?
In what way did the body language enhance the message?
How did the tone of voice change during the exercise?
What could have been different? What would you have changed if you
could? (Expect someone to say location as the training room usually
can be quite noisy during this exercise!)

Time, Slides and Materials

Notes for the Trainer

Part two What affects listening?
T: So far, we have been looking at how the talker and the listener
themselves are affecting the message and communication.
We are now moving on to look at the surroundings, and how they affect
listening.
What affects listening [5 minutes]
This part of the course looks at how external factors affect the listening and
communication. Please use your own examples to illustrate each area.
It is important that the listener understands how each one of these areas
affects the message.
T: The active listener is challenged by four main areas when trying to cope
with the message. The four areas are:

Subject complexity
The complexity affects the communication if the topic is easy to
understand, and all parties know it, the communication is easy. If one
part is an expert in nuclear power stations, and try to explain how power
is generated to someone with no knowledge at all, the task may be very
difficult indeed.

The speaker
The speaker himself affects the listener. Language, cultural background,
interest, personality will all influence how the message is received.

Environment
The environment where the communication is taking place is vital too. A
romantic talk can be a challenge to conduct in a disco

The presentation
How the speaker chooses to present the message is also vital to the
listener. If the topic is complex, and the speaker does not use any visual
aids, it can be hard to get the full message.

Discussion
The purpose of this discussion is to show what influences the message
both from the sender side, and during the transmission. It is important to
cover how all four elements impact the message.
As an active listener, it is vital to understand how a message is influenced.
Ask participants for examples from each of the four areas that affect the
active listener.
The trainer should also prepare at least two examples from each area, in
case the participants are not ready to share their own examples at this point.

Time, Slides and Materials

Notes for the Trainer

The five levels of listening [4 minutes]
T: Another vital area of listening is the levels of listening. Most of us use all
these levels on a daily basis, and mainly levels 1 through 4.
Again, prepare examples!
1. Level one is total ignorance this is what happens when the listener
pays no attention at all.
2. Level two is pretending to listen. You see this level when you try to
discuss with someone who is in front of their computer, and they respond
with hum and yes without even looking up from the screen, and they
do not respond to your control questions.
3. Level three is when the listener only listens for whatever is on his/her
mind, and focus is only to listen for those keywords, and disregards the
rest.
4. Level four is when you make up your mind about what is going to be said
during the first few seconds of the speech, and then plan your own
response. Most of us commit this crime daily.
5. Level five is when you listen to what is being communicated, and wait
until all parts of the messages are digested before you start with your
response, taking all parts of the message into account.
Discuss the 5 levels of listening, and use examples.
The purpose of this discussion is to briefly cover how people listen. Most of
us listen on the first four levels only, while the active listener is on level five.
Pose these questions to the group:

When will you experience ignorance in a conversation?

Have you ever pretended to listen?
When do we apply selective listening?
How do we act when we listen only to respond?
Remember that the ultimate target is Level 5 - listen to understand.

Focus on the message, and the person.

Exercise [30 minutes]
It is time to practice what we have learned. Please instruct the participants to
use the same pairs, and to put their chairs together so that the front left leg of
one chair touches the front leg of the other so the participants are facing
towards each other, with their legs and body to the left of the other.
PURPOSE: The purpose of this exercise is 1. to practice what is learned, and
2. to enhance the learning of the theory by experience.
Instructions:
There will be one listener, and one talker in each group. This time, the
listener is allowed to interact, mimicking and asking questions, as well as
making comments.
9

Time, Slides and Materials

Notes for the Trainer

T: Again, pay attention to the body language, words, tone of voice and mental
state, and focus on the listening levels. Please also consider the
environment, the speaker, the presentation and the subject complexity.
After ten minutes, the roles will be changed. (NOTE TO TRAINER: You need
to time this, and tell them when to change).
The groups are free to talk about anything. The purpose of this exercise is to
let the participants experience by them selves how important it is to pay full
attention to the talker, and to show that we do this unconsciously all the time.
The idea is to become aware of how we read other people, and start to
understand how this enhances the message.
When the exercise is over, facilitate a group discussion where you focus on
their learning experience. Let the participants share their knowledge, look for
acknowledgements from other participants (they will nod, smile or raise their
hands too), and ask them to contribute to the sharing too.
Remember to thank each participant for sharing, as this increases the
likelihood of others to share too.
Use questions like:

How was this exercise compared to the second one?

What made it harder / easier?
In what way did the body language enhance the message?
What level of listening did you maintain?
How did the subject complexity / presentation / speaker / environment
interfere with the message during the exercise?

Part three How to get better answers?

T: Sometimes, you need to help the talker to focus on the important parts of
the message. You may have the need to get clarifications, more details, or
parts of the story more elaborated.
There are many techniques to be used to make the talker more comfortable
and to help her tell her story in a way where you understand. Of course,
paying full attention is one thing. In addition, using questions correctly greatly
enhances the communication.
This module covers powerful question techniques.
Powerful questions closed vs. open questions
PURPOSE:
Questions are important in order to find out more about a topic, and to really
understand what is being said.
T: Using powerful questions will help you to understanding the full message.
Open questions shows your interest in the topic, as well as it enables the
talker to tell his/her own story, with his/her own words. .
Let us take a look at Open vs. Closed questions.

10

Time, Slides and Materials

Notes for the Trainer

There are two definitions that are used to describe closed questions. A
common definition is:
A closed question can be answered with either a single word or a short
phrase.
Thus 'How old are you?' and 'Where do you live?' are closed questions. A
more limiting definition is:
A closed question can be answered with either 'yes' or 'no'.
Using closed questions
Closed questions have the following characteristics:

They give you facts.

They are easy to answer.
They are quick to answer.
They keep control of the conversation with the questioner.

Open Questions
An open question can be defined as:
An open question is likely to receive a long answer.
Although any question can receive a long answer, open questions
deliberately seek longer answers, and are the opposite of closed questions.
Using open questions
Open questions have the following characteristics:

They ask the respondent to think and reflect.

They will give you opinions and feelings.
They hand control of the conversation to the respondent.

Powerful questions: Leading vs. Neutral questions

One way of influencing a person is to ask them questions that are
deliberately designed to make them think in a certain way. Leading questions
include the answer; point the listener in the right direction; or include some
form or carrot or stick to send them to the 'right' answer.
Note that not only the words can lead the question, you can also lead people
by your body Language and voice tone effects such as emphasis.
Leading questions are often directional in that, whilst they may not indicate
an answer, they close off undesirable alternatives and guide the person in a
desired direction.
Explain the difference of leading questions and Neutral questions. Make sure
the audience realizes that they are supposed to use Neutral questions as
much as possible.
Attention: Using WHY in questions may result in the other party feeling guilt
and become uneasy. Thus, advice the audience to avoid using WHY
11

Time, Slides and Materials

Notes for the Trainer

questions unless they are really necessary. It is usually a better idea to
rewrite the questions into an open, neutral question.
Summary: Reaching the 5th level of listening [1 minute]
T: How can you reach the 5th level of listening?
A few simple steps will take you there:
1. Ask questions, and use effective questioning techniques like open
questions
2. Be active focus on the other part, and listen to the full message
3. Retell the story using your own words
And of course, practice practice practice!
Exercise [30 minutes]
It is time to practice what we have learned. Please instruct the participants to
use NEW pairs, and to put their chairs together so that the front left leg of one
chair touches the front leg of the other so the participants are facing
towards each other, with their legs and body to the left of the other.
PURPOSE: The purpose of this exercise is 1. to practice what is learned, and
2. to enhance the learning of the theory by experience.
The reason we change pairs is to practice everything we have learned, with a
person we do not know much about. This forces us to focus more.
Instructions: There will be NEW PAIRS in this exercise. Suggest that the
participants find a new partner that they do not know previously, or if they
know everyone, someone they speak to the least.
There will be one listener, and one talker in each group. This time, the
listener is allowed to interact, mimicking and asking questions, as well as
making comments.
T: Again, pay attention to the body language, words, tone of voice and mental
state, and focus on the listening levels. Please also consider the
environment, the speaker, the presentation and the subject complexity.
This time, the listener will apply powerful questions in the conversation, to
learn the full message. Also apply restating the message and other aids your
find useful. Remember that the purpose is to practice your active listening
skills, so you can become a better communicator.
After ten minutes, the roles will be changed. (NOTE TO TRAINER: You need
to time this, and tell them when to change).
The groups are free to talk about anything. The purpose of this exercise is to
let the participants experience by them selves how important it is to pay full
attention to the talker, and to show that we do this unconsciously all the time.
The idea is to become aware of how we read other people, and start to
understand how this enhances the message.

12

Time, Slides and Materials

Notes for the Trainer

When the exercise is over, facilitate a group discussion where you focus on
their learning experience. Let the participants share their knowledge, look for
acknowledgements from other participants (they will nod, smile or raise their
hands too), and ask them to contribute to the sharing too.
Remember to thank each participant for sharing, as this increases the
likelihood of others to share too. Use questions like:

How was this exercise compared to the previous ones?

What made it different?
What made it harder / easier?
In what way did the powerful questions enhance the message?
What level of listening did you maintain this time?
How did the subject complexity / presentation / speaker / environment
interfere with the message during the exercise?

Summary [5 minutes]
T: This training is now almost at its end. Let us quickly review what we
have covered today!
T: In this training we have learned that active listening is about full attention
and focus.
Only by using active listening can we really understand what the other party
is saying.
The Chinese have known this for centuries, thus their word listening is made
by Ear, Eye and Heart.
Use open and neutral questions; listen to the other party, including tone of
voice, body language, the situation and environment.
Be non-judgmental and have an open mind.
Restate the message in your own words to control that what you hear is what
the other is actually saying.
Practice! Only practicing makes master! You can do this in many different
settings:
o
o
o
o
o

Family
Sales
Leader
Friends
Networking

Thank you all very much!

Make sure to thank the participants for attending, the organizing committee
for setting up the training, and any VIPs that are present.

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