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WhatdoesIslamteachaboutthefamilyandtherolesofmen,womenandChildren?
PraisebetoAllaah.
BeforewefindoutabouttheroleofIslaminorganizingandprotectingthefamily,weshouldfirstfindoutwhatthesituationofthefamilywasbeforeIslam,and
whatitisintheWestinmoderntimes.
BeforeIslam,thefamilywasbasedonmistreatmentandoppression.Allaffairswerecontrolledonlybymenorinotherwords,themales,andwomenandgirlswere
oppressedandhumiliated.Anexampleofthatisthatifamandiedandleftbehindawife,hissonbyanotherwifehadtherighttomarryherandcontrolherlife,or
to prevent her from getting married. Men were the only ones who could inherit women and children had no share. They viewed women, whether they were
mothers,daughtersorsisters,asasourceofshame,becausetheycouldbetakenasprisoners,thusbringingshameuponthefamily.Henceamanwouldburyhis
infantdaughteralive,asisreferredtointheQuraan,whereAllaahsays(interpretationofthemeaning):
Andwhenthenewsof(thebirthof)afemale(child)isbroughttoanyofthem,hisfacebecomesdark,andheisfilledwithinwardgrief!
Hehideshimselffromthepeoplebecauseoftheevilofthatwhereofhehasbeeninformed.Shallhekeepherwithdishonourorburyherintheearth?Certainly,evil
istheirdecision
[alNahl16:58]
Thefamilyinthebroadersense,i.e.,thetribe,wasbasedonsupportingoneanotherinallthings,eveninwrongdoing.
WhenIslamcame,itdidawaywithallthatandestablishedjustice,givingeachpersonhisorherrights,evennursinginfants,andeventhemiscarriedfoetuswho
wastoberespectedandprayedfor(i.e.,givenaproperfuneral).
WhenyouexaminethefamilyintheWesttodayyouwillfindthatfamiliesaredisintegratingandtheparentscannotcontroltheirchildren,whetherintellectuallyor
morally. The son has the right to go wherever he wants and do whatever he wants the daughter has the right to sit with whoever she wants and sleep with
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whoevershewants,allinthenameoffreedomandrights.Andwhatistheresult?Brokenfamilies,childrenbornoutsidemarriage,(elderly)mothersandfathers
whoarenotlookedafter.Assomewisemenhavesaid,ifyouwanttoknowthetruenatureofthesepeople,gototheprisonsandthehospitalsandseniorshomes,
forchildrendonotremembertheirparentsexceptonholidaysandspecialoccasions.
ThepointisthatmanynonMuslimstheinstitutionoffamilyisdestroyed.WhenIslamcameitpaidagreatdealofattentiontotheestablishmentofstrongfamilies
andprotectingthemfromthingsthatcouldharmthem,andpreservingfamilytieswhilstgivingeachmemberofthefamilyanimportantroleinlife.
Islamhonouredwomen,whetherasmothers,daughtersorsisters.Ithonouredwomenasmothers.ItwasnarratedthatAbuHurayrah(mayAllaahbepleasedwith
him) said: A man came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, O Messenger of Allaah, who among people is most
deserving of my good company? He said, Your mother. He asked, Then who? He said, Your mother. He asked, Then who? He said, Your mother. He
asked,Thenwho?Hesaid,Thenyourfather.
(NarratedbyalBukhaari,5626Muslim,2548)
Islamhonourswomenasdaughters.ItwasnarratedfromAbuSaeedalKhudrithattheMessengerofAllaah(peaceandblessingsofAllaahbeuponhim)said:
Whoever has three daughters or three sisters, or two daughters or two sisters, and takes good care of them and fears Allaah with regard to them, will enter
Paradise.
(NarratedbyIbnHibbaaninhisSaheeh,2/190)
AndIslamhonourswomenaswives.ItwasnarratedthatAaishahsaid:theMessengerofAllaah(peaceandblessingsofAllaahbeuponhim)said:Thebestofyou
arethosewhoarebesttotheirwives,andIamthebestofyoutomywives.
(NarratedandclassedashasanbyalTirmidhi,3895).
Islamgavewomentheirrightsofinheritanceandotherrights.Itgavewomenrightslikethoseofmeninmanyspheres.TheProphet(peaceandblessingsofAllaah
be upon him) said: Women are the twin halves of men. (Narrated by Abu Dawood in hisSunan, 236, from the hadeeth of Aaishah classed as saheeh by al
AlbaaniinSaheehAbiDawood,216).
Islamencouragesmentotreattheirwiveswell,andgiveswomenthefreedomtochoosetheirhusbandsitgiveswomenmuchoftheresponsibilityforraisingthe
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children.
Islamgivesfathersandmothersagreatdealofresponsibilityforraisingtheirchildren.ItwasnarratedthatAbdAllaahibnUmarheardtheMessengerofAllaah
(peaceandblessingsofAllaahbeuponhim)say,Eachofyouisashepherdandisresponsibleforhisflock.Theleaderisashepherdandisresponsibleforhisflock.
Themanistheshepherdofhisfamilyandheisresponsibleforhisflock.Thewomanistheshepherdofherhusbandshouseholdandisresponsibleforherflock.The
servantisashepherdofhismasterswealthandisresponsibleforhisflock.Hesaid,IheardthisfromtheMessengerofAllaah(peaceandblessingsofAllaahbe
uponhim).
(NarratedbyalBukhaari,853Muslim,1829)
Islampaidagreatdealofattentiontoimplantingtheprincipleofrespectforfathersandmothers,takingcareofthemandobeyingtheircommandsuntildeath.
Allaahsays(interpretationofthemeaning):
AndyourLordhasdecreedthatyouworshipnonebutHim.Andthatyoubedutifultoyourparents.Ifoneofthemorbothofthemattainoldageinyourlife,say
nottothemawordofdisrespect,norshoutatthembutaddressthemintermsofhonour
[alIsra17:23]
Islamprotectsthehonour,chastity,purityandlineageofthefamily,soitencouragesmarriageandforbidsfreemixingofmenandwomen.
Islamgiveseachfamilymemberanimportantroletoplay.SofathersandmotherstakecareofthechildrenandgivethemanIslamicupbringingchildrenareto
listenandobey,andrespecttherightsoffathersandmothers,onabasisofloveandrespect.Evenourenemieshavebornewitnesstothestrengthoffamilyties
amongtheMuslims.
AndAllaahknowsbest.

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