About the author

Steve Matthews was born in England and now lives with his
wife Diane and a variety of animals on a beautiful farm near
Sydney, Australia. His childrens books have been published
in Australia, Canada and America.
You can write to Steve at P.O Box 580, Picton, NSW 2571,
Australia. Please remember to include your address so he can
write back!
To find out more about Steves books and his life in Australia,
visit his web site: stevematthews.net.au

In loving memory of two sisters in spirit, Stella and Esther.

Steve Matthews

LORD GROTT OF
GROTT HALL

Copyright Steve Matthews (2015)

The right of Steve Matthews to be identified as author of this
work has been asserted by him in accordance with section 77
and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be
reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any
form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the
publishers.
Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to
this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil
claims for damages.
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the
British Library.
ISBN 9781785542688 (Paperback)
ISBN 9781785542695 (Hardback)
www.austinmacauley.com
First Published (2015)
Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd.
25 Canada Square
Canary Wharf
London
E14 5LQ

Printed and bound in Great Britain

Acknowledgments
May I first of all thank all the kids who pestered me to
write again. Youve been waiting a long time so I hope
you enjoy this book. Special thanks go to my daughter
Laura, my unofficial editor, also to the great team at
Austin Macauley, not only for their professionalism but
also their manners not one of them mentioned
Australias crushing defeat in the 2015 Ashes series! I
must also acknowledge Dr. Robert Nicolas for the
exceptional level of care he continues to show me he
was the one who told me to get on with it and of course
theres the love of my life, my wife Diane who made
sure I did.

Introduction

Lord Grott was without doubt the stingiest, meanest,

most uncharitable, tight-fisted Lord in the whole of
England.
He spent his time trying to find ways to save money,
and one day quite by accident he came upon the greatest
scheme ever. But as we all know, things are not always
what they seem, and it wasnt long before Lord Grott
found that his money saving plan had caused him a
major problem.
Another stroke of genius resulted in a solution, but
was it as good as he thought? Why were so many strange
things happening at Grott Hall? Lord Grott finds out
soon enough, and believe me, you will be as surprised as
he was when you learn exactly who was behind it all

LORD AND LADY GROTT

Lord Grott was very short and bowlegged. In fact, he

looked rather like a jockey. Except he wasnt.
His mouth was straight and tight, and he had little
piggy eyes that were set so far back in his head they
looked as if someone had poked them in with their
fingers.
He had a bulbous nose, like one of those horns you
see on old fashioned motor cars, and it was covered in
tiny thin red lines blood vessels which were the
result of drinking too much whisky (a thing that all
Lords do). Underneath this great honking hooter of a
nose was a small grey, clipped moustache that moved
around so much when Lord Grott got excited, youd
swear it had a life of its own.
Despite being a Lord, Lord Grott never dressed in
anything except a flat cap, a dirty old cardigan with
leather patches on the elbows, some baggy worn out
corduroy trousers and a pair of tattered old carpet
slippers.
The worst thing about Lord Grott was not his clothes
though, disgusting as they were, it was that he was mean
and miserable, tight-fisted and terrible, and he hated
spending money more than anything else in the world.

Lady Grott on the other hand was very generous

indeed, and rather strange looking too. At least, that is
what I think. You can be the judge. She was as short as
her husband and quite dumpy with the most unfortunate
look about her that made it appear that she had no neck.
Her head seemed to rest directly on top of her
shoulders, like she had been standing under a block of
flats when someone dropped a piano from the top floor.
In an effort to make herself look taller, she wore her
hair up, like a beehive on top of her head, and always
nestled in this magnificent hairdo was a glittering tiara.
Her face was round and rather doughy, a bit like a
biscuit ready to go into the oven. A pointy beak of a nose
stuck out from this biscuit face, upon the end of which
was perched a pair of those rather peculiar looking halfround glasses.
Once, she was jovial and happy, but being married to
Lord Grott had made her look like a sour faced misery.
She no longer smiled or laughed, and of course, she
never showed her feelings to anyone she was too
dignified for that. After all, she was a Lady.