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Famous last words? Say them before its too late

The deathbed is where we impart one final piece of wisdom, settle one final score
I was at a funeral recently. The woman who had died had reached her ninth decade and
had been a wonderfully kind lady. In the eulogy, her son remarked that she had seen her
death coming; that it was the best kind of death and one that would not be available to
most of us. She had prepared herself for the end and had been able to say what she
needed to say to the people she loved.
Part of our understanding of death is the deathbed scene. Its where we impart one final
piece of wisdom, settle one final score or say something so witty that our erudition in the
face of the grim reaper will b
Ke celebrated for years to come. Oscar Wilde, lying in a fleapit hotel on the left bank of
the Seine, took a look at his surroundings and said: My wallpaper and I are fighting a
duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go. It was the most Wildean of
comments: arch, funny, tasteful and poignant. And 100 years after he died, he had the
last word when the cursed wallpaper was replaced by red, blue, green and gold frescos
based on designs by his friend Aubrey Beardsley.
If we cant be as witty as Wilde, what should we say? A survey carried out recently found
that 83 per cent of the 2,198 of adults polled had received final words of advice from
their loved ones 62 per cent had received advice about their relationships, while 56
per cent had received career advice. After that, wisdom relating to family (43 per cent),
education (39 per cent) and finances (32 per cent) was the most common.
Its heartening that advice about relationships tops the poll. Perhaps all the career and
financial advice was full of truth, but there still seems to be something a little depressing
about being given some final top tips on how to nail that key job interview or how to
correctly fill out a mortgage application. Of course, youd be in great company if you were
to impart financial advice. Bob Marleys final words, Money cant buy life, were
financially themed. And Plato tells us that, having been sentenced to death and having
drunk the poison that would kill him, Socrates turned to his friend Crito and said: Crito,
we owe a cock to Asclepius. Do pay it. Dont forget. Crito assured the philosopher that
he would not forget and then, seeking some greater piece of wisdom, asked Socrates if he
had anything more to say. He did not.
These things career, finance are all an important part of the rich tapestry that is life
but surely, in the end, its not only hippies who recognise that friendships and
relationships are the things that matter the most. Only connect, reads the epigraph to
EM Forsters novel Howards End, and this need to reach out to others is perhaps
strongest at the end.
Connecting with fellow human beings
Other famous figures chose to celebrate connecting with their fellow human beings by
paying tribute to love. I love you very much, my dear Beaver, the French philosopher
Jean-Paul Sartre said to his partner Simone de Beauvoir. Goodnight my kitten, was
Ernest Hemingways offering to his wife Mary before he killed himself. Oh, I am not
going to die, am I? He will not separate us, we have been so happy, Charlotte Bront told
her husband, while T.S. Eliot simply whispered the name of his wife, Valerie, and nothing
more. If this is all a bit too touchy-feely for you, then the deathbed is also a great place to

tell people what you really think of them or, if you are feeling Shakespearean, order
that your death be avenged. How the little piglets would grunt if they knew how the old
boar suffered, the ninth-century Norse warlord Ragnar Lodbrok said as he was being
devoured, naked, in a pit by a horde of snakes. The little piglets he was referring to
were his sons (he was the old boar) and indeed the sagas record that they sought and
exacted vengeance by ritually executing lla, the Northumbrian king who had cast their
father into the snake pit.
Your final moments offer you a chance to impart wisdom by reflecting on your own life,
something that many public figures do. In Karen Thorsens documentary about the great
American writer James Baldwin, The Price of the Ticket, Baldwins brother, David, recalls
that James hoped that he had done his work so that when he was gone, those looking
could find in all the turmoil, through the wreckage and the rumble something that I
left behind. Having considered all this, you might just think to hell with it and follow in
the footsteps of Karl Marx, who hollered at his housekeeper: Go on, get out! Last words
are for fools who havent said enough! In short, say it now, before its too late.

Guardian Newspapers Limited, 2015