Our

OurChildren
About

Useful Information for the Next Generation of Jewish Families

Happy Chanukah
Crafts, Gifts, Menorahs

Flu and You

Supplement to The Jewish Standard December 2015

AOC-2
First breath. First smile. First steps.

Treasured moments begin here.

The MotherBaby Center at Chilton Medical Center.

Whether you are planning to start a family or adding to one, Chilton Medical Center invites you to
begin this exciting journey with us. Our MotherBaby Center encourages moms-to-be to personalize
their birthing experience in a way that makes it memorable for the entire family. We offer private
rooms with personalized visiting hours, hydrotherapy for labor, a celebratory gourmet dinner and
a Moms spa. For special care, theres a Level II Nursery with board certified neonatologists and
pediatricians available 24/7. And with caring nurses, expert medical staff, and our seamless
connection to Morristown Medical Center, its no wonder why so many women choose to have
their babies here with us, close to home.
For more information about parent education classes, please call 973-831-5475.

For a referral to a Chilton Obstetrician

or Certified Nurse Midwife,
call 1-888-4AH-DOCS
or visit atlantichealth.org/chilton
2 About Our Children DECEMBER 2015

About Our Children DECEMBER 2015

AOC-3

OurChildren
About

Useful Information for the Next Generation of Jewish Families

December 2015

Good to Great Parent. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5

Tips for improving your game

Funky Menorahs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6
More than eight nights, eight lights

New Jersey Ballet presents

Nutcracker sponsored by TD Bank

Dec 5th & Dec 6th

1pm & 4:30pm

A Christmas Carol
sponsored by TD Bank

December 20th

1pm & 4pm

Making a Pocket of Peace . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7

Creating security in a scary world

Chanukah Gift Ideas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8

Plush toys to accessories and more

Banish Back Talk. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9

Getting your children to speak softly

Daniel Tigers
Neighborhood Live!
Sunday, Jan 24th

1pm & 4:30pm

Cesar Millan Live!

Friday, Jan 29th

8pm

Ah-Choo! Ah-Flu! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
Preventing this seasons virus

Winter Fitness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
Family frolics need not end

Chanukah Crafts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16

Homemade for the holiday

Mike Super:

Magic & Illusion

Saturday, Feb 20 7:30pm

Ladybug Girl and Bumblebee Boy

The Musical

Friday March 13th

1pm & 4pm

Top Choices . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Picks for December

Calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
Great things to do this month

Cover Photo
Rabbi David Vaisberg, Miriam Palmer-Sherman, and their daughter, Nava Shira.
PHOTO BY JOANNE PALMER

The Peking Acrobats

Friday April 8th

8pm

Clifford The Big Red Dog Live!

A Big Family Musical

April 10th

1pm & 4:30pm

ABOUT OUR CHILDREN DECEMBER 2015

AOC-4
OurChildren
About

musings from the editor

I

remember the dark-hued blue

and gold brass menorah that
graced our home during Chanukah. It was a souvenir from
someones trip to Israel, or perhaps it was purchased at a local
Judaica store. But it had a distinct
look that, in that day said, Made
in Israel. Compact and curved,
the menorah had a cutout of the
iconic landscape of Jerusalem on
its back, and on the front, small
cup-like holders that hugged the
multi-colored candles. Remnants
of melted and hardened wax
never seemed to quite disappear
from that thing, even after repeated attempts at cleaning.
We used that menorah every
year, lighting the candles, saying
the blessings and marking the
progression of the holiday each
night. Our little menorah sat on

the dining room table, its flames

safely away from any hazard associated with curtains, drapes or
any other window dressing.
The little menorah had a
public counterpart. On the window ledge in the living room sat
a big, white, plastic menorah.
It was the necessary accessory
to safely according to my parents display Chanukah to the
world with its fireproof orange
light bulbs; another one twisted
to light up each night of the holiday. From the street outside, we
could see the orange lights of
several big, white, plastic menorahs inside the windows of other
homes on our block, and feel
proud of ourselves, and of our
holiday.
Those were the sights. Then
there were the smells.
The smell of fried potatoes
and onions of the homemade
latkes my mother whipped up
would waft through the house,
not long after the candles were lit.
Potato latkes were a most important and most delicious Chanukah tradition, and my mother
took no shortcuts.
She peeled pounds of potatoes, bathed them in water to
keep them white, and one by one,
hand grated them, along with the
tear-inducing onion. Once wed
hear the sizzle from her special

MissionStatement

fry pan, we anticipated their arrival. But not too many actually
made it to the table. My father
would pick them off the brown
paper bag that she used to absorb their oiliness, to sample
one. And another. And then another one. It was fine, she said.
And now there are different
sights and smells for a different
generation.
In our home for Chanukah we
have a collection of menorahs.
There is the merging of menorahs his (from Jeff), and hers
(from me), and theirs (Yehuda
and Shaina) to make ours.
We have a veritable family of
menorahs. Among the myriad: the
one with the movable silver arms,
the chic and simple glass one, the
green metal lovebird menorah (a
wedding gift), and the womanorah, a ceramic sculpture of eight
seated woman (and a ninth for
the shamash) with baskets atop
their heads that double as candleholders. The womanorah was a
parting gift from a wonderful female editor-in-chief at one of my
newspapers.
Then there are the childrens
menorahs, the ones that they
made in preschool and are more
precious to me than a diamondstudded one (as if!). There is the
primary-color painted plaster of
Paris menorah, the wooden block

OurChildren
James L. Janoff

Natalie Jay

Heidi Mae Bratt

Peggy Elias
George Kroll
Karen Nathanson
Janice Rosen
Brenda Sutcliffe

Publisher
Editor

Deborah Herman

Art Director

AdvisoryBoard
Michelle Brauntuch, MS,CCLS

Barry Weissman, MD

Child Life Specialist, Englewood Hospital, Englewood

Pediatrician, Hackensack and Wyckoff

Hope Eliasof

Cheryl Wylen

Holistic Chiropractor, Oakland

4 ABOUT OUR CHILDREN DECEMBER 2015

Slovie Jungreis-Wolff
Rivka Koenig
Adina Soklof
Denise Morrison Yearian

Contributing Writers

Jane Calem Rosen

Marketing and Communications Specialist

Howard Prager, DC, DACBSP

Advertising Director

Account Executives

Psychologist, Teaneck

Marriage and Family Therapist, Midland Park

Cheers,

About

About Our Children is designed to help Jewish families in our area live healthy, positive lives that make the most of
the resources available to them. By providing useful, current, accurate information, the publication aims to guide parents to essential information on faith, education, the arts, events, and child-raising in short, everything that todays
Jewish family, babies to grandparents, needs to live life to the fullest in northern New Jersey and Rockland County.

Dr. Annette Berger, Psy.D.

one, the one made of bits and

pieces and nuts and bolts, and
of course, all the crayoned paper
ones that came home right before
the holiday.
Our smells are different, too.
As enticing maybe not, but
enticing enough are the smells
from the fry pan of our latkes.
But our latkes come out of a box,
cooked by my friend, Tina. Call
it an act of convenience coupled
with no patience or desire for
hand grating, along with no food
processor, and these are the closest I come to homemade latkes.
Dont worry. They also dont
make it to the table, enthusiastically sampled while they drain on
a paper-toweled plate.
Perhaps the details associated with the holiday have changed.
There are more menorahs. There
is less sweat over the latkes. But
the tradition has stayed the same:
To celebrate the Festival of Lights
with our family and with our
friends, and through that celebration, to always try and bring light
into our lives and to the lives of
others.
Wishing all a happy Chanukah.

Director of Adult Programs and Cultural Arts

YM-YWHA of North Jersey, Wayne

About Our Children is published 11 times a year by the New Jersey/Rockland Jewish Media Group,
1086 Teaneck Road, Teaneck, NJ 07666; telephone: 201-837-8818; fax: 201-833-4959.;
e-mail: AboutOC@aol.com.

Dont Miss About Our Children in January

Published on December 18, 2015

AOC-5*
OurChildren
About

Tips to Help You Go

From a Good to a Great Parent
A d i n a S o c lo f

2. You are the best teacher

Children do what we do, not what we
say. If we want to be a good role model
for our children we need to walk the walk
and talk the talk. If we want our children
to be kind, respectful and loving we need
to be kind, respectful and loving. They
need to see us living our Jewish values,
by giving charity, promoting peace in our
interactions with others and by being
truthful (no lying about their age to get
the discount at the amusement park.).

arenting is one of our toughest

jobs. When we leave the hospital
with our baby safely ensconced in
their car seat, we are on our own. Theres
no instructional manual, no degree we
need to have. It seems as if parenting is
all on the job training.
It doesnt have to be. Heres a short
primer on nine fundamental things you
need to know to raise children in a positive, healthy way.

3. Children are not natural listeners

1. Bring Jewish values and traditions

into your home
Teaching children to embrace Jewish
values and traditions is one of the best
gifts we can give our children. The Jewish faith introduced the world to the
importance of family, kindness, justice,
peace, charity, honesty, and so much
more. These are bedrock principles that
will ensure that your children will be-

have with integrity. Jewish traditions,

Shabbat and the holidays, prayer and
other rituals lend stability, unity, and a

We are often surprised, indignant and

angry when our child doesnt listen to
us. The fact is it is hard for them to listen to all the things that they need to
do. From morning to night they need to
listen to instructions given to them by
adults. They are not being bad; they often dont have the attention, energy or

strong sense of identity. These are essential ingredients in building emotionally

healthy children.

Tips continued on page 15

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About Our Children DECEMBER 2015

AOC-6*

The Menorah

More than Eight Nights, Eight Lights

H E I D I M A E B RAT T

all it a menorah or a chanukiah, the

signature eight-plus one-branch
candelabra that flickers in the window or illuminates a public square or
rides atop of a Chanukah-mobile is one

of the most celebrated pieces of Judaica

for the holiday of Chanukah, which begins the evening of December 6.
The menorah makes a wonderful gift
for the holiday, or any other occasion
from bar and bat mitzvahs to weddings
to housewarming presents. Dusted off

and displayed, the varying and innovative styles of the menorahs also make for
a great conversation piece.
Its something that everyone needs,
says Isaac Zoldan, owner of Zoldans Judaica Center on Cedar Lane in Teaneck,
which has a large stock of menorahs.

And every year there are new styles,

and everyone likes a different one.
We took a look around and found
some that are beautiful, fun and quirky
to help light up the night, light up the
dark winter, and help celebrate the holiday of Chanukah.

Shuls the World Over

This menorah, Synagogues of the World, by artist Reuven Masel (Jewish Expressions) features replicas and historical information of synagogues from the around the world to include:
The Second Temple, Jerusalem; Montefiore in the Bronx; Jubilee Synagogue in Prague, Czech
Republic; Shmuel Synagogue in Bialystock, Poland; Central Synagogue in Manhattan; Great
Synagogue in Florence, Italy; Elbridge Street Shul in Manhattan; Cave of Machpelah in Hebron,
Israel; Mishkan Israel in New Haven, Conn. Judaica House, 478 Cedar Lane, Teaneck. 201-8019001. www.judaicahouse.net

Princess Diaries

Your home is your castle this Chanukah and everyday. This painted pink ceramic castle menorah is a
perfect Chanukah gift for the little princess in your family. www.traditionsjewishgifts.com

Dino Lights

Lights of Lady Liberty

This menorah, featuring one of New

York Citys most endearing icons, the
Statue of Liberty, is constructed of
cut-metal shapes and hand painted by
Acme Animal to create a folk art piece
you can display year round. www.thejewishmuseum.org

Two Wheels, Eight Lights

This Bicycle Menorah is great for any bicycling

fan. Its great even if youre not a bicycle fan. It is
made of fused metal with color accents on the
wheels and the seat. The candleholders are gold
plated. www.traditionsjewishgifts.com

Gone to the Dogs

A dog lovers dream menorah. Muttel the Dog

presents a unique handmade work of art. skillfully hand painted with vivid colors and design.
Muttel the Dog can be your Chanukahs best
friend. www.eichlers.com

Chanukah will be dino-mite with the Menorasaur

menorah. Created by artist Lisa Pierce of The
Vanilla Studio, each piece is constructed from
repurposed plastic toys, metal candle cups and
clay. Fully functional for celebrating Chanukah, the
Menorasaur is sure to add Jurassic-level thrills to
your holiday celebration. www.thejewishmuseum.
org

More than a Menorah

Whale of a Time

Those with an eye for the quirky will enjoy

the sculptures of artists Sue Parke and Don
Gidley for their sense of whimsy and geometry and line merged in Acme Animal. This
Whale Menorah is designed, cut and painted
by hand, and will delight children and adults
all year round. www.judaicacollection.com.

6 ABOUT OUR CHILDREN DECEMBER 2015

This menorah with a girl swinging

from the tree branch and with
birds nesting along its branches is
part of the fresh, whimsical chanukiah created by sculptor Marina
Zlochin, whose metal cuts in the
menorahs she designs have their
origins in and are developed from
the world of graphics and illustration, her specialty. Her work and
many other pieces are available at
Zoldans Judaica Center, 412 Cedar
Lane, Teaneck. 201-907-0034.

Go With the Glow

With no open flames this menorah is safe, ecological, and colorful.

The acrylic menorah holds up to nine glow sticks to count the days
of Chanukah and light up your festival table. www.moderntribe.
com.

AOC-7*

Making a Pocket of Peace

for Our Children, Ourselves
S LOV I E JU N G R E I S - WO L F F

y daughter traveled to the

United States recently to
visit with my mother. Upon
returning to her home in Israel, she
was greeted with a Welcome Home
sign pasted onto her front door. Her
six-year-old daughter had colored
a picture of an El-Al plane, with a
bright yellow sun. Behind the windows of the plane, she drew her
mommys smiling face along with
other passengers, and parallel to
her mommy were the faces of terrorists, each with a fist raised holding sharp daggers.
In the drawing her mother faces
terrorists holding sharp daggers.
Is this how our children see the
world?
Its not only in Israel that we
must put ourselves into the shoes
of frightened children. I spoke with
a bat-mitzvah-aged girl who confided that she often feels scared.
Many marriages around her are dissolving and she worries that oneday, she too, will become a child of
divorce. She watches friends deal
with shaky finances, health issues,
sick grandparents or siblings who
seem out of control. And the world
is full of wars, she added.
It can be overwhelming for children to deal with so much chaos, in
addition to handling the pressures
of school, friends and after-school
activities.
How can we keep our children
grounded and maintain a positive
outlook in life?
Many parents themselves are
grappling with similar fears. How
do we create a pocket of peace in a
world gone mad?

Parental peace
Before takeoff, flight attendants instruct you to put on your own oxygen mask first, begin to breathe and
only then can you attempt to help
your children.
The same holds true in life. We
can only help our children deal with
fears if we live with confidence that
we can overcome obstacles. When
children detect that parents are
panicked, they grow fearful themselves. We must work on resolving
our inner emotions of trepidation
and never display hysteria. Parents who transmit a sense of calm
despite the storm raging outside
provide their children with seren-

ity. Though this may not be easy

for a parent undergoing distress, it
is crucial that we strive to master
self-control.
Husbands and wives in stressful
situations should speak together privately and resolve to create a haven
within their home. This means that
we watch our tone, our language,
and try hard to communicate patience and understanding. We dont
react in sharp tones or swat our
loved ones aside with a dismissive
word or gesture because of pressure.
Drawing upon ones faith is
also an anchor that provides our
families with a sense of security in
difficult times. When we reinforce
our traditions, find solace in prayer,
and commit to family rituals we are
showing our children that we live
with clear and established beliefs
despite the turbulence that is taking place in our lives. It is not a matter of convenience, dependent on
moods or feel-good emotions. Our
faith is a bedrock of strength independent of turmoil and challenge.
No matter how difficult the week
has been my Shabbos candles bring
light to my home. We are together,
acquiring a sense of continuity and
love. In a broken world we parents
are here to heal.

Childrens Peace
When the world feels out of control
a childs sense of safety and trust is
challenged. How can we help our
children better cope? (Of course
we are not speaking about phobias,
anxiety, or childhood trauma, which
must be addressed professionally.)
Recognize that your childs fear
is real
Dont ignore your childs fears.
Children become afraid at different
ages, of different situations. Apprehension, worry, and feeling frightened are genuine concerns.

Validate the emotions

Allow your child to share his fears.
Talk to him and permit him to communicate feelings.

Dont make fun or belittle

A child shouldnt feel as if he is bad
or babyish for expressing worry. Be
careful to avoid saying things like a
girl your age shouldnt be afraid,
thats just silly, or stop being such
a cry baby. That only knocks your
childs self-esteem and prevents him
from sharing in the future.

ZOLDANS
JUDAICA CENTER
Menorahs
Bar-Bat Mitzvah Gifts
Books Mezuzot
Kippot Taleisim
412 Cedar Lane
Teaneck
201-907-0034

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Dont indulge a childs fears
Show empathy but be careful not to
fall apart each time your child tells
you that he is afraid. When kids
hear us talking about them and telling spouses and grandmothers that
they are scared and anxious, we are
adding drama to the situation. Find
a balance between the emotions
you display.

Teach coping strategies

Help your child work through the
challenge. Positive self-statements
like I can do this or I will be ok
can help children navigate moments when they feel anxious.
Some kids are empowered when
they draw upon words of a prayer,
others when they envision a happy
memory. Some children who are
afraid in the dark discover calm
from a nightlight. Get to know your
child and find the strategy that
works for him.

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A Reason to Smile
A HAPPY FAMILY HAS
HEALTHY TEETH

Show empathy
Sharing stories of your own fears
and how you overcame them can
be an incredible source of comfort
to a child.

Model being brave

Adults who lose it will raise children who lose it. Whether it is a fear
of cockroaches, flying, blood tests,
or unseen dangers from the world
you live in, you cannot afford to
freak out. Children who view their
parents as in control feel secure in
a world gone mad.
No matter how chaotic things
get, our mission as parents is to
guide, teach, and lead. Creating a
pocket of peace will become part of
your life-long legacy.
Slovie Jungreis-Wolff is a parenting
coach, teacher, writer and author
of Raising a Child With Soul (St.
Martins Press).

Reprinted with permission of Aish.com

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ABOUT OUR CHILDREN DECEMBER 2015

AOC-8*
OurChildren
About

Chanukah, Oh Chanukah!
Great Toys and Other Stuff for Girls and Boys
CO M P I L E D BY H E I D I M A E B RAT T

Traditional Chanukah gelt has given way to gift giving for the holiday.
Here are a few items that may be appealing for you to share with
your family and friends for the eight-day Festival of Lights.

Spot It Shalom and More at the

Teaneck General Store

Accessoryz Galore at Carlyz Craze

Teaching Monkey

If youre looking for fun and funky accessories, Carlyz Craze is the place. Chanukah options abound.
Carlyz Craze, 472 Cedar Lane, Teaneck, 201-342-3398, www.carlyzcraze.com

Monkey say, monkey do. This little guy helps

your little guy, or little girl learn how to get
dressed. Tighten monkeys trousers. Close
its jacket zipper. Tie a bow on its shoes. This
little monkey makes practicing getting dressed
and undressed so much fun for youngsters.
Designed for children 3 to 12 years old. www.
sigikid-usa.com

Planet Matzah Ball

Chanukah and Passover DVD set

Shalom Sesame DVD set

Joanie Leeds & The Nightlights,

Music for Kids

Joanie Leeds has been called that cool babysitter who would let you try on her lip-gloss once
your mom left the house. But never mind her
cool factor, Joanie Leeds and the Nightlights
is one of the hottest bands for children. Her
latest, Meshugana was inspired by a decade
of teaching in Jewish nursery schools, summer camps and many a Tot Shabbat and High
Holiday programs. www.joanieleeds.com

Join lovable, furry Grover and celebrity host

Anneliese van de Pol as they travel to Israel
in this 12-part award-winning DVD series
co-produced by Sesame Workshop, the force
behind Sesame Street, and Israels Channel
HOP! Designed to help bring the vitality of
Jewish culture and tradition, as well as diversity to Israeli life, to American children and
their families. www.sisuent.com

Enough
Already! DVD

Millions of miles away on the

giant Matzah Ball in outer
space lives a family of funny,
furry aliens who happen
to be Jewish. Sadly, most
Jewish traditions on Planet
Matzah Ball have been lost,
but are happily rediscovered
with the help of a delightful
cast of puppets and through
animation and music. www.
sisuent.com

The award-winning Enough Already! tells the timeless tale of a poor farmer, who on the advice of the
town Rebbe, brings one animal after another into
an already overcrowded house. The result is hilarious and a very important lesson in being grateful
for what we have. www.sisuent.com

Games galore are in store at this local spot.

Shabbos games, home goods, eclectic bric-abrac can fill your Chanukah needs. One fun one
is Spot It Shalom. Teaneck General Store, 502
Cedar Lane, Teaneck. 201-530-5046. www.
teaneckgeneralstore.com

BubbleBum, Inflatable
Car Booster Seat

Who doesnt live in their car? And where you

go, so go your children. The BubbleBum inflatable car booster seat is great for carpools
and road trips. Award-winning BubbleBum
is the original, inflatable car booster seat for
youngsters 4 to 11 who weigh from 40 to 100
pounds. Safe and compact, it weighs less than
one pound, BubbleBum can deflate in minutes,
making it simple to throw in a backpack or
large purse. www.bubblebum.us

Pack n Potty
Hoverboards

Its beyond the skateboard and the newest

craze of getting around town. The Hoverboard
is a self balancing two-wheel motorized board
and if you ask its fans, its one of best ways to
get around. One mom told me that her son
was studying for a test and completed a good
hour while riding around this living room.
Available at Marcias Attic for Kids, 29 North
Dean St., Englewood. 201-894-5701, www.
marciasatticforkids.com

8 ABOUT OUR CHILDREN DECEMBER 2015

The Pack n Potty is an all-in-one travel potty

seat made of antimicrobial and waterproof
material designed to make potty training
stress-free while on the go. The travel potty
seat is designed for use in public restrooms
because of its design. The tote transforms into
a tent-like sanitary cover that drapes over
any standard toilet seat, making minimal contact with the surface. www.tottigo.com

Maccabee on the Mantel

Riding high off the popularity of Elf on the

Shelf (from that, uh hum, other holiday),
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AOC-9
Helpful Techniques to Banish
Your Childs Back Talk

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A D I N A S O C LO F
I hate you!
Youre the worst mother
in the world!
You are so mean!

o parent likes to be on the receiving end of these accusations and insults. However, it
does happen to the best of us. How
can we stop back talk in its tracks?

1. Understand Underlying
Message
When my children talk back to me,
my gut reaction is to respond in
kind. It is hard to remember not to
take it personally. It helps to remember that children really do speak another language because they dont
have the verbal acuity to express
their fears or their feelings.
When children say: I hate you!
they really mean: I am so angry!
When children say: Why do
I have to do everything around
here? they might really mean: I am
too tired to clean up right now.
When children say: You love
Sara more than me! they really
mean: I need some attention and
reassurance that you love me, too.
Understanding the underlying
messages behind a childs back talk
can go a long way in helping us defuse potential conflict, and help us
keep calm in the face of disrespect.

2. Know Your Childs Triggers

The best way to get rid of back talk
is to find ways to avoid it altogether.
Once children and parent get angry,
it can be hard to calm down. It is
helpful to know what sets your child
off in the first place.
Parents should try to avoid the
following thing that could trigger
your children to resort to talking
back to you:
make promises and then
break them.
give children a task that is
too difficult or push too hard when
they are having a bad day
pick at children for little
annoyances
ask children what they want
to do and then dont do it
take away their reward
accuse children of something
they didnt do
respond in kind when they
start an argument

3. Understand Their Personality:

The more we learn about a childs
temperament and personality, the
easier it is for us to get along with
our child. They will feel understood
and will less likely resort to back
talk.
For example, children who are
slow to warm up to new situations,
(the temperamental trait of adaptability) are not being bad because
they do not want to kiss Aunt Martha, or because they refuse to get
in the pool right away at their very
expensive swim lessons. They really
need time to get used to new people
and new situations. They will use
every method at their disposal to
gain the very necessary time that
they need. That includes talking
back. They will refuse to comply until they are ready and feel comfortable. If we give them the time they
need to adjust and acclimate we can
avoid the power struggle and the
back talk that ensues altogether.

Understanding the
underlying messages
behind a childs
back talk can go a
long way in helping
us defuse potential
conflict, and help us
keep calm in the face
of disrespect.
4. Feelings First,
Discipline Second
When children talk back, it is often
because they are angry and feel
misunderstood (see #1 above). It
is always best to validate their feelings before we discipline. This is a
simple way to diffuse the tension.
Child: You are so mean! You always make me clean my room! I hate
you!
This response creates more
tension and encourages more back
talk: How dare you say they to me!
You are so fresh!
Instead neutralize the anger by
reflecting their feelings: You seem
really angry and upset! Cleaning
your room is the last thing you want
to do!
However, some parents feel that
they can empathize with their child

if they are scared, disappointed or

hurt but have a tough time when
their child is angry and talks back.
They feel hurt and mad. Even if
parents are able to remain calm,
parents are still hesitant to use empathy because they feel they are
letting their children off the hook.
They would rather admonish their
child and push them to be more
compliant and respectful.
Parents can rest easy. When
parents listen and empathize it
does not mean that they are condoning negative behavior. They are
not letting their kids get away with
murder. Delivering empathy is the
secret to stopping back talk and ultimately teaching children respectful
behavior.

5. Now for the discipline

Although we now understand that
back talk is just a way that children
express their negative feelings and
emotions, we cannot allow them to
talk to us in that way. We need to
teach them better ways to manage
their anger and frustration. We must
not skip this step, however this
step does not need to be done right
away. We can wait a few hours or
even until the next day when both
you and your child are calm to have
this conversation.
Parents want to keep this part
positive and too the point, it is not
necessary to lecture them about
their bad behavior. It can sound like
this:
I know you were angry before.
Next time please say, I am mad
at you, instead of I hate you! It
sounds more respectful.
I understand that you were in
a bad mood before. The next time
that happens can you try saying,
Mom, I am in a bad mood. Can we
talk later? That would be more
respectful.
Back talk is not pretty, but understanding what your child is really telling you, knowing what triggers
your childs anger, understanding
your childs temperament, validating their feelings and helping them
express their anger in a more respectful way, can help.
Adina Soclof is the director of Parent
Outreach for A+ Solutions, facilitating
How to Talk so Kids will Listen and
Listen so Kids will Talk workshops as
well as workshops based on Siblings
Without Rivalry. She also runs
ParentingSimply.com and is available
for speaking engagements.

carlyzcraze@gmail.com
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ABOUT OUR CHILDREN DECEMBER 2015

AOC-10*
OurChildren
About

Ah-Choo! Ah-Flu!
How to Prevent this Seasons Virus
H e i d i M a e B rat t

t was the perfect sun-dappled September Sunday, and scores of youngsters were enjoying
the carnival atmosphere in Fair Lawn. They
were getting their faces colorfully painted. They
were waiting on line to get animal-shaped balloons.
They were dancing to the sounds of the disc jockey
playing the latest tunes. It looked just like a regular
weekend of outdoor fun for the children and their
parents who gathered to grab some recreation before the colder weather forced them indoors.
But amid all the fun and games, there was a
serious reason for everyone to be here. More than
1,000 youngsters, patients of PediatriCare Associates, a pediatric practice with offices in Fair Lawn,
Mahwah, Pompton Plains, and soon Woodland
Park, came to the fair to get inoculated against the
flu at the practices 3rd annual flu carnival10 a little proverbial sugar to help the medicine go down.
The vaccination is the first line of defense
against this seasons flu, says Dr. Jeffrey Bienstock
of PediatriCare Associates, who chairs the pediatrics department at The Valley Hospital in Ridgewood, and is incoming president of the New Jersey
chapter of the Academy of Pediatrics.
So far, weve seen very little flu activity, says
Dr. Bienstock, M.D., F.A.A.P. But the season is just
beginning. We try to get the flu vaccine to everyone eligible (all older than 6 months) before the
flu hits. Really, as soon as the vaccine is available
because it take about four to six weeks to respond
to it.
Vaccination, Dr. Bienstock says, is just a part of
the efforts to prevent the flu.
A parents salvo should consist of excellent hygiene to help prevent the spread of illness. Warm
soapy water for a good wash of hands, in the absence of soap and water, or at least an alcoholbased no water wash, and all tissues in the trash
bin. Making sure that all surfaces are washed down
where germs spread most readily, be they counters
or toys that are shared or devices.
Dr. Bienstock says it is also important to teach
a youngster the proper way to cough and to sneeze.
And that is not into their own hand and then they
go about high-fiving all their buddies in the school
hallway. Instead, instruct the youngster to sneeze
and cough into his or her inner elbow, the so-called
Dracula cough to minimize the spread of germs,
which are very contagious.
When necessary, Bienstock adds, a child who
is infected with the flu may have to be quarantined
so as not to expose other members of the family to
the germs. That may mean separating siblings who
share a room.
Lastly, Bienstock says, the parent or caregiver
has to ensure that he or she is taking good care of
himself or herself. Getting enough rest, eating well
and exercising to strenghten the immune system
will help safeguard parents from getting sick.
After all, who is going to take care of junior?

Heidi Mae Bratt is the editor of About Our Children.

10 About Our Children DECEMBER 2015

AOC-11
OurChildren
A Primer on the Flu
A: Its not possible to predict what this flu
season will be like. Flu seasons are unpredictable in a number of ways. While flu
spreads every year, the timing, severity, and
length of the season vary from one year to
another.
Q: Will new flu viruses circulate this season?
A: Flu viruses are constantly changing so it
is not unusual for new flu viruses to appear
each year.
Q: Will the United States have a flu epidemic?
A: The United States experiences epidemics of seasonal flu each year. This time of
year is called flu season. In the United
States, flu season occurs in the winter; flu
outbreaks can happen as early as October
and can last as late as May. The Centers for
Disease Control (CDC) says the flu season
begins when certain key flu indicators (for
example, levels of influenza-like illness (ILI),
hospitalization and deaths) rise and remain
elevated for a number of consecutive
weeks. Usually ILI increases first, followed
by an increase in hospitalizations, which is
then followed by increases in flu-associated
deaths.
Q: When will flu activity begin and when will
it peak?
A: The timing of flu is very unpredictable
and can vary in different parts of the country and from season to season. Most seasonal flu activity typically occurs between
October and May. Flu activity most commonly peaks in the United States between
December and February.
Q: What should I do to protect myself from
flu this season?
A: The Centers for Disease Control recommends a yearly flu vaccine for everyone 6
months of age and older as the first and
most important step in protecting against
this serious disease. People should begin
getting vaccinated soon after flu vaccine
becomes available, if possible by October,
to ensure that as many people as possible
are protected before flu season begins.
However, as long as flu viruses are circulating in the community, its not too late to get
vaccinated.
In addition to getting a seasonal flu vaccine
if you have not already gotten vaccinated,
you can take everyday preventive actions
like staying away from sick people and
washing your hands to reduce the spread
of germs. If you are sick with flu, stay home
from work or school to prevent spreading
flu to others.
Q: What should I do if I get sick with the
flu?
A: Antiviral drugs are prescription drugs
that can be used to treat flu illness. People
at high risk of serious flu complications
(such as children younger than 2 years,
adults 65 and older, pregnant women, and

people with certain medical conditions) and

people who are very sick with flu (such as
those hospitalized because of flu) should
get antiviral drugs. Some other people can
be treated with antivirals at their health
care professionals discretion. Treating
high-risk people or people who are very
sick with flu with antiviral drugs is very
important. Studies show that prompt treatment with antiviral drugs can prevent serious flu complications. Prompt treatment
can mean the difference between having
a milder illness versus very serious illness
that could result in a hospital stay.
Treatment with antivirals works best when
begun within 48 hours of getting sick, but
can still be beneficial when given later in
the course of illness. Antiviral drugs are
effective across all age-and risk groups.
Studies show that antiviral drugs are
under-prescribed for people who are at
high risk of complications who get flu. This
season, three FDA-approved influenza
antiviral drugs are recommended for use
in the United States: oseltamivir, zanamivir
and peramivir.

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Children younger than 6 months are at

higher risk of serious flu complications, but
are too young to get a flu vaccine. Because
of this, safeguarding them from flu is especially important. If you live with or care for
an infant younger than 6 months of age,
you should get a flu vaccine to help protect
them from flu.
In addition to getting vaccinated, you and
your loved ones can take everyday preventive actions like staying away from sick
people and washing your hands to reduce
the spread of germs. If you are sick with flu,
stay home from work or school to prevent
spreading influenza to others.

Source: Centers for Disease Control

FIRST PLACE

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Q: What should I do to protect my loved

ones from flu?
A: Encourage your loved ones to get vaccinated. Vaccination is especially important
for people at high risk for serious flu complications, and their close contacts. Also,
if you have a loved one who is at high risk
of flu complications and who develops flu
symptoms, encourage him or her to get a
medical evaluation. He or she might need
treatment with influenza antiviral drugs.
The CDC recommends that people who
are at high risk for serious flu complications that get the flu be treated with influenza antiviral drugs as quickly as possible.
People who are not at high risk for serious
flu complications who get the flu may be
treated with influenza antiviral drugs at
their doctors discretion. Children between
6 months and 8 years of age may need
two doses of flu vaccine to be fully protected from flu. The two doses should be given
at least 4 weeks apart. Your childs doctor
or other health care professional can tell
you whether your child needs two doses.
If your child does need two doses of vaccine to be fully protected, it is a good idea
to begin the vaccination process sooner
rather than later.

2015
READERS
CHOICE

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2015
READERS
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FIRST PLACE
PEDIATRICS

Offices in Tenafly, Fort Lee, Paramus,

Oakland, Clifton, and Park Ridge
201-569-2400 www.tenaflypediatrics.com

Little Stars
A Weekly Pre-K Tuition-Free Program

OPEN HOUSE

Sunday December 6
9:30am-10:30am
Parents & Children invited to meet Morah Carmit
Our Curriculum celebrates Being Jewish through
experiential learning in a weekly three hour Sunday program.
Activities Fee: $100 for the year
Following our Open House, all families are invited to
join us at our school-wide Free Hanukah Celebration 11:00am-12:15pm.
Register by contacting Judy Gutin: principal@fljc.com or 201-796-7884
SPACES ARE LIMITED
10-10 Norma Avenue Fair Lawn, NJ 07410 201-796-7884
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About Our Children DECEMBER 2015 11

AOC-12*

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inter may be a coming, but

that doesnt mean you have
to toss aside family fitness.
Following are tips on how you and your
family can stay physically fit and enjoy
time together during this frigid season.

Plan for success

Choose activities everyone can participate in and make it convenient, simple
and fun. Get your children input as to
what they want to do so there is some
buy in. Also make sure you participate;
children will have more fun if Mom and
Dad get in on the act.

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If possible, create an indoor active zone

where you and your children can be active. See what you can shift around in a
spare room or the basement so you can
move freely without tripping over wires or knocking
something down. Or put on
coats and move the cars out
of the garage. This will allow
you to do some motion activities such as jumping jacks,
jump rope, hula hoop and
hopscotch, as well as formal
exercises such as squats,
lunges and sit ups. Keep the
area dedicated so its always
available when youre ready
to be active.

Tone up
Every day items found around the house
can help your family tone up. Use milk
jugs partially filled with water or sand
to strengthen your chest, shoulders and
arms. Make the bottom step a stair stepper to build your leg muscles and cardiovascular system. Step on the waistband
of old pantyhose and pull up to work biceps, triceps and shoulders.

Color my wintry world

One fun and easy game your family will
enjoy is an outdoor ice cube hunt. Make
different colored ice cubes and hide
them in your yard or at the park. Then
bundle up and let the game begin. Create
a color point system to determine the
winner or whoever finds the most gets a
prize. You can even do it at night with a
flashlight. The best part is the ice cubes
wont melt so you can stick them in the
freezer and have the hunt all over again.

Board em busters

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12 About Our Children DECEMBER 2015

Make a list of fun exercises Create an indoor obstacle course.

you and your children can do
in a given week, post them on a board in
Skating on thin ice
a visible location then each day have evIf there is snow on the ground and its beeryone choose one or more activity they
low freezing, create a backyard ice skatwant to perform. Vary time and repetiing rink. Place tarp over the snow and
tion according to age. When an activity
hold down the edges with a mound of
is complete give your child a sticker to
snow or a few bricks. Fill several buckets
put on the list. At the end of each week,
with water (you dont need much), pour
offer a reward to keep everyone motiit over the tarp and let it freeze. When a
vatedgo ice skating, bowling or take a
thin layer of ice forms, put on your boots
winter bike hike.
or sneakers and have a family skate.

Go pro

Frolicking fitness tag

Tweak professional games so you can

play them inside. Have a round of basketball with a soft foam ball or wad of
newspaper and a basket. Try indoor
bowling with 10 soda bottles, each partially filled with water or sand. Set in a
triangular shape and then knock over
with a medium-sized ball. Tennis anyone? Stretch a string across the room,
tape it to the walls, blow up a balloon
and use poster board squares for rackets. Or play indoor volleyball.

It doesnt have to be warm outside to

play tag. With this version base isnt an
object, its an activity. Players run around
and avoid being tagged by performing a
simple, predetermined exercise such as
10 jumping jacks, 15 squats or 20 hops
on one foot. Set the rules prior to the
game. And dont let the snow stop you.
Running around in it will add resistance
and increase your heart rate.

AOC-13
OurChildren
About

Cold war capers

A fun thing to do in the snow is
play tug of war. Dig parallel trenches that are three- to four-feet long
and mound up the snow in the
middle. Divide your family into
two teams then have each team
stand in a line perpendicular to the
mound on either side of the snow.
The first team to pull their opponent into the snow bank wins.

Out and about

Many parks are open throughout
the winter and you can incorporate exercise and education by
taking a hike to scout out animal
tracks, find creatures that move
about in the winter and identify trees that keep and lose their
leaves. Or have a neighborhood
scavenger hunt. Make up a list
of items your family has to find:
a red door, blue car, winter bird,
etc. Then take a walk around the
neighborhood and see who can
find the most items.
Denise Morrison Yearian is the former
editor of two parenting magazines
and the mother of three and grandmother of four.

JEI Learning Center

Opens in Teaneck
JEI Learning Center of Teaneck celebrated its recent opening at a ribbon cutting
ceremony attended by local officials,
including Teaneck mayor Lizette Parker
and councilman Alan Sohn.
Since the states new academic standards have been implemented, many
parents wonder how they can better
help their children succeed. JEI Learning Center offers a curriculum in math,
reading and writing for youngsters 3 to
14 year old. JEI English and math develop
fundamental skills in fine motor control,
letter recognition, phonemic/phonetic
awareness, and number sense in order to
prepare students for the demanding curriculum. It also offers a 5:1 student-teacher ratio, public school aligned programs,
and an individualized curriculum based
on assessment tests.
Max Ito, managing director of JEI
Learning Center of Teaneck, Hasbrouck
Heights, Glen Rock and Clifton, says he
hopes the newest center will help give
students an academic edge and impact
positively on the community. For more
information, 201-357-2028.

Want More Winter Family Fitness Ideas?

Try These
Snow games. Set up an obstacle course
by building snow hurdles and other barriers your family has to either jump over or
run around. Or draw targets with Sharpies
on trashcan lids, dig them at different distances into the snow then toss snowballs at
your target. Add a new slant to sledding by
setting up stacks of snowballs or upturned
trashcans then as you head down the hill,
throw snowballs to work on target practice.
Concoct a competition. If you have an
indoor active zone, there are a number of
relays your family can do. Pile everyones
shoes in the corner of the room, form two
teams then have players slither or roll to the
pile (no walking allowed), pull out and put
on their shoes and walk back to the next
person on their team. Or go feather up,
belly down! Opponents get on their bellies
and use straw to keep a feather in the air
and away from each other. Whoever can
blow the feather over the other persons
line wins.
Ad lib with obstacles. Create an outdoor
obstacle course that involves different

activities: dribble the soccer ball to a certain

point, skip to the next, pick up the football
and run home.
Ever-ready oldies. Consider traditional
games you can do indoors or outside at the
spur of the moment: Duck, Duck, Goose,
Follow the Leader, Mother, May I? Red
Light, Green Light, Simon Says and
Charades.
Find facilities. Check out local organizations to see if they offer parent-child classes
or have indoor pools or open gym facilities
for playing basketball, volleyball, soccer and
other games. Many martial arts programs
have combined adult-child programs. Call
local ice and roller skating rinks to get hours
for open skates. Or for inexpensive exercise,
go to the mall and take a brisk walk.
Reach for resources. One website, www.
verbnow.com, features a list of physically
active games your family can play, along
with a game generator that allows you to
combine games to create new ones; you
can winterize them too.

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About our Children DECEMBER 2015 13

AOC-14

3
1. Seventeen students from the Teen Town Jazz
Band of the Thurnauer School of Music at the
Kaplen JCC on the Palisades opened for legendary
jazz artist and humanitarian Wynton Marsalis
concert at NJPAC recently. The Teen Town students,
led by Debbie Keefe Johns and Steve Johns,
performed in the NJPAC lobby prior to the concert.
The performance was part of the 4th TD James
Moody Jazz Festival.

www.tofutti.com

2. Ben Porat Yosef students recently had a visit

from Paramus Assemblyman Tim Eustace, who
toured the school, visited classes and answered
students questions about state government.
The kindergartners presented Assemblyman
Eustace with a thank you for his commitment
to keeping all New Jersey students safe.
3. Sarah Brandon, a 7th grader at Westwood
Regional Middle School who attends Religious
School at Temple Emanuel of the Pascack
Valley in Woodcliff Lake, has donated her
hair to Pantenes Beautiful Lengths for the
third time. The donation is in memory of the
grandparents she lost to cancer, and in honor
of two family friends.

14 ABOUT OUR CHILDREN OCTOBER 2015

4. How exciting it was for the preschoolers

when the Fair Lawn Fire Department recently
visited the Helen Troum Nursery School in Fair
Lawn to speak them about fire safety.
5. Yeshivat Noam middle school students
are collecting plenty of goodies for the
Bergen County Chanukah toy drive. Schools,
synagogues and temples throughout the county
collect thousands of gifts, which are given to
18 local and regional organizations. For more
information, www.bctoydrive.org.

AOC-15

will to follow through. Instead of getting

mad, focus on helping your kids listen,
make eye contact when giving instructions, validate their feelings, I know its
tough to stop playing with your Legos
to get ready for bed Or make it fun:
Lets pretend we are airplanes and fly to
the car.

vorite sport with them in the backyard

or even reading the same books they are
reading and discussing them. And enjoy
spending time with them. Its important
to tell your children that you love them,
I am so happy that God gave you to me;
I love being your mother/father and to
demonstrate that love with physical affection like hugs, kisses and ruffling their
hair.

4. Children test limits

8. Know your childs strengths

Children need rules and limits that are

fair and consistent. It makes them feel
safe, secure and encouraged. When we
are wishy-washy with our rules, children
feel rootless and dont know what to expect. When children fight the rules, they
are really testing us to see if we actually
mean what we say. We need to stick to
our guns and gently and respectfully
enforce the rules that we have for our
family.

Every person is created with his or her

own strengths and talents. As parents
our jobs is to help our child discover
those strengths and talents. We can ask
ourselves:
What is my childs strength?
What characteristic of my child
brings me joy?
What gives my child the most joy?
What comes easy to them?
They might be very different from
what we expect. A father who values
academics might have a child who loves
the arts or vice versa.
Children thrive and flourish when
they feel that their authentic selves are
valued and appreciated by their parents.

Tips continued from page 5

5. Most children respond well to

positive reinforcement
Your best bet to having great children
is to give them loads of attention when
they are behaving in positive ways
for example, when they get into bed on
time, brush their teeth and come when
they are called. Ironically, we usually
give our children more attention when
they are misbehaving. When we give attention to a their negative behavior we
inadvertently reinforce their negative
behavior. When we only focus on their
positive behavior we reinforce their positive behavior. It takes a while to retrain
our brains to look for the positive but it
is well worth the effort.

6. Let children experience their own

feelings
Children need to own their own feelings.
You cant tell them, You cant be too hot,
its cold outside, You cant be full you
only ate one bite of your sandwich. The
fact is we dont know how another person can feel, even our own children. We
need to teach our children to trust their
own gut and instincts; it will serve them
well when they need to make tough decision without us. To do that, its better to
say, It feels cold to me, but not to you
everyone feels things differently. Or
One bite of that sandwich is enough for
you, you know how to read your hunger
signals

7. Shower them with love

Children need their parents attention to
thrive. They also need to know that we
love them just the way they are. To do
that, we want to try to spend time with
them on their terms. Find out what they
love to do, whether its going to their favorite ice cream store, playing their fa-

Your best bet to having

great children is to give
them loads of attention
when they are behaving
in positive ways.
9. Foster independence
We need to live our lives as parents
knowing that our children are only ours
for a short time. Our job is to teach them
to go out into the world and make their
mark, and contribute to our society in
positive ways. We need to teach them to
think independently and have the tools
they need to make good decisions. We
need to find ways to encourage their autonomy by asking their opinions, What
do you think would be the best way to
schedule our day? Give them choices,
Do you want to wear your green or blue
shirt today? and responsibility and
chores around the house.
Parenting is indeed a tough job, but
it is also one of the most rewarding. And
you are uniquely suited to raise your
children.
Adina Soclof is the director of Parent
Outreach for A+ Solutions, facilitating How
to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids
will Talk workshops as well as workshops
based on Siblings Without Rivalry. She
also runs ParentingSimply.com and is available for speaking engagements

Chanukah
Gift
Giveaway
Random drawing from all entries
received by December 11, 2015

Pumpkin &
Bean

$50

Gift Certificate
Englewood

Family
4-Pack

Daniel
Tigers
Neighborhood
at bergenPAC

Sigikid
Teaching
Monkey
Enough
Already
and

Planet
Matzah Ball

Animated DVDs

Complete
Series

SHALOM
SESAME
DVD SET

Maccabee
on the
Mantel

$36
Gift

Certificate
from
Schnitzel+
Teaneck

Bumble
Seat
Portable
Car
Booster

Name _________________________________________________________
Ages of Children ________________________________________________
Street _________________________________________________________
City/State/Zip ___________________________________________________
Phone ________________________________________________________
Email _________________________________________________________
Mail to Jewish Standard, 1086 Teaneck Rd, Teaneck, NJ 07666 or fax to 201-833-4959 by Dec. 11.
I authorize you to add my name to the Jewish Standard e-mail blast and newsletter list.

ABOUT OUR CHILDREN DECEMBER 2015 15

AOC-16*
OurChildren
About

Chanukah Crafting Lights Up

the Family Holiday
R I V K Y KO E N I G

he lights of the menorah dance

in the window. The dreidel
spins. Yummy scents and familiar sounds emanate from the kitchen latkes sizzling in oil and children
laughing. Happy Chanukah.
In the midst of the dark and dreary
winter comes this wonderful holiday,
commemorating a bright light in Jewish history. Chanukah reminds us of

the miracle of the Jewish Maccabees

victory over the armies of the Hellenists and how the Beit HaMikdash
the Holy Temple was rededicated
for use, wherein the miracle of the
tiny vial of oil that burned for eight full
days and nights occurred. Most of all,
Chanukah celebrates the miracle of
Jewish tenacity. With eight long winter nights to enjoy Chanukah, these
plenty of time for family projects.

Wooden Block Menorah

With just a handful of wooden blocks,
a rectangular piece of wood and two
wooden knobs, you can craft an original Chanukah menorah.

What you will need:

10 (1-inch) or 9 (1-inch) and 1 (1inch) wooden blocks
rectangular piece of wood (about 16-inch
x 2-inch x -inch) long enough to hold
9 of the blocks in a straight row
2 (1-inch) wooden knobs
extra-strong craft glue
acrylic paint in assorted colors
to 1-inch wide paintbrush
nine pennies
nine metal nuts or washers
craft glue or decoupage medium, such as
Mod Podge
How to do it:
Use your paintbrushes and acrylic paint
to paint all the wooden pieces the colors
of your choice. (One side of each wooden
block does not need to be painted, as it
will be glued to the base.) Let dry completely.
Glue the two wooden knobs to the bottom of the rectangular piece of wood,
2 inches in from either end. Let dry.
Glue on the blocks.

These adorable dreidels make

perfect place cards for your Chanu-

16 ABOUT OUR CHILDREN DECEMBER 2015

You can craft a clay dreidel just

like the one in the song. Although
it may not spin very well, it will
certainly look great dangling
from a necklace or keychain.

What you will need:

oven bake clay (we used Sculpey)
in the
colors of your choice
skewer or large sewing needle
disposable baking sheet
beading elastic
keychain ring, optional
jump rings, optional
needlenose pliers, optional
How to do it:
1. Roll a walnut-sized piece of clay in your
hands until it softens.
2. Roll the clay into a ball. Press lightly into
the ball to flatten it. Turn over and press the
other two sides gently to form a box shape.

Option 1: For a centered shamash, evenly

space 9 (1-inch) blocks on the base
and glue them on. Glue the 10th block
on tope of the middle block; or use the
1-inch block as the center block.
Option 2: For a menorah with the
shamash at one end, glue 9 (1 1/2-inch)
blocks, evenly spaced, to the base. To
make the shamash, either glue 2 blocks
(1 1/2-inch) one on top of the other or
use 1 3/4-inch block, placed at either
end of the base.
Glue a penny to the center of each block.
Glue a nut to fit on top of the penny.
Estimated time: 45 minutes
Drying time: 1 to 2 hours

kah party and serve as sweet

mementos.

Dreidel Place-Card Party Favors

Clay Dreidel Charm Jewelry

or Keychain

What you will need for each dreidel:

scissors
pencil
12-inch x12-inch cardstock
acetate or see-through vinyl;
we cut one heavy-duty plastic
sheet protector to make four
dreidels
decorative-edge scissors or
pinking shears
hole puncher
1 yard (-inch wide) ribbon

3. To form the dreidels point, pull downward

on two edges of the box-shaped clay until
they meet. Turn the box and pull down the
other two edges until they meet and form
a point.
4. To form the dreidels handle, pull upward
on the box-shaped clay. Use your fingers to
round the top point into a handle.
5. Roll a piece of different-colored clay into
a thin rope. Wrap part of the rope around
the base of the dreidels handle. With the
rest, form the Hebrew letters nun, shin, gimmel, hey. Place one letter gently on each
side.
6. Using the skewer or needle, poke a hole
through the handles top.
7. For beads, roll pieces of clay into peasized balls, swirling two or more colors
together. Or, roll clay into -inch wide logs;
slice into flat beads. Poke holes through

foil-wrapped chocolate
Chanukah gelt
markers or colored pens
small decorative tag

How to do it:
1. Trace and cut out a big shape
of a dreidel onto the cardstock
2. Place the acetate over the
cardstock and cut along the
dreidel outline so that you end
up with two dreidels, one of
cardstock and one of acetate.
3. Trim the edges of the acetate

beads with the skewer or needle.

8. Preheat oven to 250F. Place the dreidel
and beads onto the baking sheet and
bake, following manufacturers instructions.
Remove from oven and let cool.
For the jewelry: Thread the beads and
charm through a piece of elastic 3-inch
longer than wrist measurement. Tie the
elastic in a double knot. Trim the edges.
For the keychain: Thread a 6-inches to
8-inches piece of elastic through the charm
and tie a double knot in one end. String
beads and charm onto the elastic. Doubleknot the remaining end around the keychain
ring and trim the ends, threading any extra
elastic back into the nearest bead.
Optional: Before baking charm, open a
jump ring with pliers and thread the jump
ring through the hole in the charms handle.
After charm cools, thread it onto the elastic
through the jump ring.
Estimated time: 30 minutes
Bake time: 15 minutes, or according to
manufacturers instructions
Cooling time: 20 minutes

dreidel with the decorative-edge

scissors or pinking shears.
4. Place the acetate dreidel on
the cardstock dreidel. Use your
hole puncher to punch an evenly
spaced number of holes around
the edges of the dreidels.
5. Starting at the top of the
dreidel, begin lacing the ribbon
through most of the dreidel.
Place a few chocolate coins
between the acetate and cardstock and complete lacing the

dreidel. Pull the ribbon end gently in order to have even lengths
of ribbon to tie into a bow at the
top.
6. Use a marker to write the
name or initial of each guest on
a tag. Thread the tag through the
ribbon. Tie the ribbon so that the
tag hangs from the center of the
dreidels bow.
Estimated time: 15 minutes

Reproduced from Crafting Jewish by Rivky Koenig with permission of

the copyright holders, ArtScroll / Mesorah Publications, Ltd.

AOC-17*
OurChildren
About

TopChoices
D E C E M B E R 2 0 15

CO M P I L E D BY H E I D I M A E B RAT T

Chanukah Ice Skating

Is Really Nice Skating

Mama Doni Rocks

JCC Rockland for Chanukah
The Mama Doni Band, which celebrates Jewish culture with zest in its high-energy, interactive family rock concerts filled with a mix of reggae, rock, disco, Latin, klezmer with a
dose of soulful energy and hip Jewish sensibility thrown in, will rock the JCC Rockland to
help brighten the Festival of Lights. The band, featuring the charismatic Mama Doni at its
center, is a Koenig Family Chanukah concert. The show is followed by fun-filled Chanukah
activities. Sunday, Dec. 6 at 10 a.m. JCC Rockland, 450 West Nyack Road, West Nyack,
845-362-4400, www.jccrockland.org

Chanukah Family Day

at Jewish Museum
Features Actress Amanda Peet
The Jewish Museums annual Chanukah
Family Day on Sunday Dec. 6 from noon
to 4 p.m. is a day of fun-filled activities.
Among the highlights will be a book
signing with actress Amanda Peet and
co-author Andrea Troyer, who will read
from their new Chanukah-themed
childrens book, Dear Santa, Love,
Rachel Rosenstein tells the story of
a young Jewish girl who wonders why
Santa Claus doesnt visit her house as
she wrestles the culture and customs
and her love of sparkly Christmas
ornaments before appreciating her
own identity, family and friends.
Children can also take part in other
activities, including constructing
sculptural Chanukah menorahs with
found objects, dancing to the music of ShirLaLa, watching the story of Chanukah
brought to life through a drawing performance with Jeff Hopkins, and more. The Jewish
Museum,1109 Fifth Ave., Manhattan. 212-423-3200, www.thejewishmuseum.org.

Come spin around on the rink, twirl,

do figure eights by a huge ice sculpture menorah, listen and dance to
the sounds of Ta Shma Orchestra at
the annual outdoor Chabad celebration Chanukah on Ice in Manhattan.
All are invited to celebrate the
Festival of Lights in the heart of
New York City at the Wollman
Rink in Central Park. The fun will
take place on the second light of
Chanukah, Monday, Dec. 7 from 6
to 9 p.m. Admission includes skate
rental and complimentary food.
Central Park East between 62nd
and 63rd Streets. www.chanukahonice.nyc.

Yes, You Can! Build

a Menorah at Home Depot
Chabad of Upper Passaic
County is joining with Home
Depot in a Chanukah Menorah
Workshop on Sunday Dec. 6
from 10 to 11:30 a.m. Children
and their families are invited
to build their own unique
menorah from wood and other
supplies available at the store.
Participants will get a free workers apron and enjoy Chanukah
treats. The event will take place
at The Home Depot,106 Route
23, Riverdale. 201-696-7609.
www.JewishHighlands.org.

ABOUT OUR CHILDREN DECEMBER 2015 17

AOC-18*

The Good Life With Kids

DECEMBER

To Our Readers: This calendar is a day-by-day schedule of events. Although all information is as timely as we can make it, its a good idea to call to
verify details before you go.

DaybyDay
Sunday, November 22
Family Art Project: Cornhusk dolls. Celebrate the
harvest and hear tales told by Native American
storyteller Joe Cross. Tie, weave, and shape dried
husks into a single, cornhusk doll or corny doll
family. 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Wave Hill, West 249th St,
Bronx, 718-549-3200, www.wavehill.org.

Tuesday, December 1
Childrens Choir: at Temple Emanu-El of Closter.
Rejoice, celebrate and have fun in the process
of making music. 6 p.m. Open to all children in
Grades 6 to 7. Contact Naama Heyman, at 201750-2959 or heymann@templeemanu-el.com.
180 Piermont Road, Closter. Also on Dec. 8 and
Dec. 15.

Wednesday, December 2
Stand With Israel: Community-wide event
for truth, unity and support of Israel. Join our
Israel Advocacy Team of 8th grade students
as they present Israel past, present and future.
Featuring Rabbi Shaul Robinson of Lincoln Square
Synagogue. 7:30 p.m. Manhattan Day School, 315
W. 75 St., Manhattan. RSVP to rborgen@mdsweb.
org.
Child Safety Class at Valley: Learn how to safeguard infants and children in this two-hour course
7 to 9:30 p.m. The Valley Hospital Offers Infant &
Child Safety Class at The Dorothy B. Kraft Center,
15 Essex Road, Paramus. www. 201-291-6151,
www.valleyhealth.com/familyeducation.
F2F USY: at Temple Emanu-El of Closter.
Chanukah painting with the residents of the
Jewish Home for Assisted Living in River Vale.
Teens and residents will create a one-of-a-kind
painting led by an artist from Abrakadoodle. 6
p.m. Contact Tammy Ween at 201-750-9997 or
ween@templeemanu-el.com.

Friday, December 4
Tot Shabbat TGIS (Thank G-d Its Shabbat): at

OurChildren
About

To Add Your Event to Our Calendar

Send it to:
Calendar Editor
About Our Children
New Jersey/Rockland Jewish Media Group
1086 Teaneck Road
Teaneck, NJ 0766 AboutOCaol.com
or fax it to: 201-833-4959
Deadline for January issue (published December 18):
Tuesday, December 8

Temple Emanu-El of Closter. 5:45 p.m. All families

of kindergarten, first and second-graders are invited for Kabbalat Shabbat with fun activities, crafts,
music, food, and an age appropriate service led
by the temples clergy and staff. For information,
contact Naama Heymann at 201-750-2959 or
heymann@templeemanu-el.com. 180 Piermont
Road, Closter.

Saturday, December 5
Safe Sitters: The Valley Hospital Center for Family
Education provides youngsters 11 to 16 years old
with life and safety skills for caring for infants and
children. 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. The Dorothy B. Kraft
Center, 15 Essex Road, Paramus. www. 201-2916151, www.valleyhealth.com/familyeducation.
Sibling Preparation Class: The Valley Hospital
Center for Family Education offers a Sibling
Preparation Class for ages 3 to 7 from 10 a.m.
to 11:30 a.m. at The Dorothy B. Kraft Center, 15
Essex Road, Paramus. www. 201-291-6151, www.
valleyhealth.com/familyeducation.

Sunday, December 6
Open House: Little Stars, a new, weekly tuitionfree program for pre-kindergarten children, is
being introduced by the Fair Lawn Jewish Center/
Congregation Bnai Israel. Parents and children
are invited to learn about the program, which
will run on Sundays, starting Dec. 13, at an open
house from 9:30 to 10:30 a.m. at the FLJC, 10-10
Norma Avenue, Fair Lawn. 201-796-7884.
Mama Doni at JCC Rockland: The Mama Doni
Band rocks and rolls to help celebrate Chanukah.
10 a.m. JCC Rockland, 450 West Nyack Road,
West Nyack, 845-362-4400. www.jccrockland.
org
Amanda Peet at the Jewish Museum: Actress
Amanda Peet and co-author Andrea Toyer read
from their new Chanukah-themed book, Dear
Santa, Love, Rachel Rosenstein at 4 p.m. The
Jewish Museum, 1109 Fifth Ave., Manhattan. 212423-3200, www.thejewishmuseum.org.
Chanukah Menorah Building Workshop: Come
and build your own menorah at Home Depot. 10
to 11:30 a.m. The Home Depot, 106 Route 23,
Riverdale. Sponsored by Chabad of Upper Passaic

Shirlala in concert at the Jewish Museum. See Dec. 6

County and Home Depot. 201-696-7609, www.
JewishHighlands.org.
Ventriloquist Puppet Show: Northern New
Jersey Jewish Academy (NNJJA) and the Early
Childhood Committee at Temple Israel & Jewish
Community Center in Ridgewood, will present a
morning of madcap mishugenah Chanukah fun and
learning, featuring ventriloquist Jonathan Geffner
and his wacky, whimsical, wooden sidekicks in the
highly acclaimed Maccabee Mishegash Puppet
Show, 9:30 a.m. to noon. Temple Beth Sholom,
40-25 Fair Lawn Ave., Fair Lawn.
Shirlala in Concert: Kid rocker Shira Kline will
perform a musical re-enactment of the Chanukah
story, full of heroes, drama, excitement, and
miracles inspired by the power of light. Hear
tunes from her holiday album such as Chanukah
Bamba, This Little Light of Mine, and more. The
Jewish Museum, 1109 Fifth Ave., Manhattan. 212423-3200, www.thejewishmuseum.org.

Tuesday, December 8
Chaverim Chanukah Event at Temple EmanuEl of Closter: Join 3rd to 5th graders for a night
filled with latkes, pizza, sufganiot and some
Chanukah fun. 4:30 p.m. For more information, contact Tammy Ween at 201-750-9997 or
ween@templeemanu-el.com.
The Happiest Baby on the Block Program: The
Valley Hospital Center for Family Education is
offering program based on the techniques of the
world-renowned pediatrician, Dr. Harvey Karp.
7:30 to 9:30 p.m. at the Dorothy B Kraft Center,
15 Essex Road, Paramus. 201-291-6151, www.
ValleyHealth.com/FamilyEducation.

Wednesday, December 9
Peppa Pigs Big Splash: Peppa Pigs Big Splash is
an action-packed live show, based on the popular
Peppa Pig television series, designed to deliver
to preschoolers and young fans an unforgettable
first, live theater experience. 3 and 6 p.m. bergenPAC, 30 N. Van Brunt St., Englewood, 201227-1030.

Thursday, December 10
Making cornhusk dolls. See Nov. 22.

18 ABOUT OUR CHILDREN DECEMBER 2015

Family Congregational Chanukah Dinner and

Laser Light Show: at Temple Emanu-El of Closter.

Join us for a night of latkes, dreidels, gelt and a

one-of-a-kind Chanukah show. 180 Piermont Rd,
Closter. 201-750-9997.

Friday, December 11
The Nutcracker: The ballet students of Miss
Pattis School of Dance with the Donetsk Ballet
and Adelphi Orchestra perform 7:30 p.m.,
Paramus Catholic High School, Paramus Road,
Paramus. Performances also Dec. 12, Dec. 13.
201-670-4422. www.misspatti.com

Saturday, December 12
Goodnight Moon and The Runaway Bunny:
Two shows of the classic childrens stories at the
Victoria Theater, One Center St., Newark. Show is
2 p.m. www.njpac.org.

Sunday, December 13
Chanukah Party: Reconstructionist Congregation
Beth Israel will hold its annual Chanukah celebration from 4:30 to 6:30 p.m. All are welcome to
bring their menorahs and candles to light together, a long-standing RCBI tradition; potato latkes,
pizza and sweets will be served. 475 Grove St.,
Ridgewood. 201-444-9320.

Friday, December 18
Tot Shabbat with Matty Roxx: at Temple
Emanu-El of Closter. 5:30 p.m. Join parents and
children, birth to 5 years old, for an end of the
year musical Shabbat with Matty Roxx. 5:30 p.m.
For more information, contact Tammy Ween @
ween@templeemanu-el.com.
Tot Shabbat: in Franklin Lakes. Tot Shabbat and
pizza dinner at Barnert Temple at 5 p.m. Our
youngest ones (pre-readers) are invited to welcome in Shabbat with us at this family-friendly
service, 747 Route 208 South, Franklin Lakes.
201-848-1027.

Saturday, December 19
Friendship Circle Saturday Night Live: Children
enjoy a pizza dinner with their friends and keep
busy with mind-boggling science experiments. For
ages 7 and older. The Friendship Circle of Passaic
County, 194 Ratzer Road, Wayne. 973-694-6274,
fcpassaiccounty@yahoo.com

AOC-19*
OurChildren
About

Simchas
Bnai mitzvah
MAX BERKOWITZ
ALEX BERKOWITZ
Max and Alex Berkowitz, twin sons of Jodi
and Philip Berkowitz of Fair Lawn and brother
of Benjamin and Oren of Israel, celebrated
becoming bnai mitzvah on October 31 at the
Fair Lawn Jewish Center/Congregation Bnai
Israel.

ANDREW DESAUTELS
Andrew Desautels, son of Lisa and Michael
Desautels of Woodcliff Lake and brother of
Katelyn, celebrated becoming a bar mitzvah on November 14 at Temple Beth Or in
Washington Township.

EMMA FIELD
ADINA FIELD
Emma and Adina Field, twin daughters of
Sharon and Alan Field of Demarest, celebrated becoming bnai mitzvah on November 14 at
Temple Beth El in Closter.

JESSIE LIFSON
Jessie Lifson, daughter of Heather and Adam
Lifson of Fair Lawn and sister of Alexa, celebrated becoming a bat mitzvah on November
7 at the Fair Lawn Jewish Center/Congregation
Bnai Israel.

DAFNA SCHLOSBERG
Dafna Schlosberg, daughter of Daniel
Schlosberg and Sharon Siegel of Teaneck, and
sister of Nurit, Yakir, and Tamar, celebrated
becoming a bat mitzvah on October 31. The
family belongs to Congregation Beth Sholom
in Teaneck.

JOSHUA SLOAN
Joshua Ryan Sloan, son of Carol and Darren
Sloan of Maywood and brother of Ashley, celebrated becoming a bar mitzvah on October
17 at Temple Avodat Shalom in River Edge.

Bronfman Youth Fellowships in Israel

Announces 30th Application Season
The Bronfman Youth Fellowships in Israel is accepting applications to its program. The Bronfman Fellowships, in its
30th year, selects 26 outstanding teenagers from North America for a rigorous
academic year of seminars including a
free, five-week trip to Israel between the
summer of fellows junior and senior
years of high school. The program educates and inspires exceptional young
Jews from diverse backgrounds to grow
into leaders grounded in their Jewish
identity and committed to social change.
The program was founded and is funded
by Edgar M. Bronfman, zl, formerly CEO
of the Seagram Company Ltd. and a visionary Jewish philanthropist.
During the programs seminars,
fellows meet with leading intellectuals, religious and political leaders, and
educators, such Etgar Keret, A.B Yehoshua, Sayed Kashua, and Rabbah
Tamar Applebaum. The fellows then
participate in study and dialogue with
a diverse faculty, which is made up of
rabbis and educators, associated with
different movements and perspectives
within Judaism. Faculty members have
an intimate knowledge of Judaism in

North America and Israel and have extensive experience working with emerging adults. Fellows also spend two weeks
with a group of Israeli peers who have
been chosen through a parallel selection process as part of the Israeli Youth
Fellowship: Amitei Bronfman. Upon returning home from the summer in Israel,
Bronfman Fellows are asked to devise
and lead local Jewish or social action
projects.
Edgar Bronfman placed enormous
faith in young peoples ability to see the
world not just as it is, but as it ought
to be, says Rabbi Mishael Zion, co-director of the fellowships. He believed
that young people energized by their
Judaism were best equipped to both
shape a Jewish Renaissance and improve the world. The fellows each year
are already a remarkable group; we
have the privilege of instilling in them
a love for learning Jewish texts and a
commitment to pluralism and communal responsibility that will serve us all
into the future.
The deadline for applications is Jan.
6, 2016. For more information, www.
bronfman.org, 518-475-7212.

PARTY

BENJAMIN TUKHIN

JADEN GERARD
Jaden Gerard, son of Amy and Scott Gerard
of Woodcliff Lake, celebrated becoming a bar
mitzvah on November 7 at Temple Emanuel in
Woodcliff Lake.

JONATHAN GROSSMAN
Jonathan Grossman, son of Abi and Rob
Grossman of Wyckoff and brother of Michael,
Samuel, and Danielle, celebrated becoming a
bar mitzvah on November 14 at Temple Beth
Rishon in Wyckoff.

ANDREW HAAS
Andrew Haas, son of Sandra and Christopher
Haas of Allendale and brother of Hannah, celebrated becoming a bar mitzvah on October
31 at Temple Beth Rishon in Wyckoff.

Benjamin Gavriel Tukhin, son of Marina and

Eugene Tukhin of Woodcliff Lake and brother
of Ari and Sam, celebrated becoming a bar
mitzvah on October 31 at Temple Emanuel in
Woodcliff Lake.

GIL ZYNDORF
Gil Zyndorf, son of Linda and Moshe Zyndorf of
Fair Lawn and brother of Benjamin and Oren
of Israel, celebrated becoming a bar mitzvah
on November 14 at the Fair Lawn Jewish
Center/Congregation Bnai Israel. As a mitzvah
project, he collected bikes to donate to Pedals
for Progress. The bikes are sent to impoverished countries and give people access to
go to work. To donate a bike, call (201) 2142992.

973-661-9368

Include:
1 hours of skating (during public session)
Private decorated party room
Off ice party attendant
Skate rental
Invitations for party guests
Pizza and soda
Personalized Carvel ice cream cake
Favors and candy
FREE skating pass for future use
Birthday child receives FREE Ice Vault T shirt

ABOUT OUR CHILDREN DECEMBER 2015 19

AOC-20

Are you tired of feeling sick? Are you sick of feeling tired?
Are you simply looking to maintain your health?
You deserve to live your best life! Let us help you.
Our philosophy and mission at Valleys Center for Integrative Medicine is that healing requires a
systematic, functional medicine approach which recognizes and utilizes the full spectrum of validated
therapies. Our top priority is your health and well-being; not just your symptoms.
You will meet with medical professionals in a patient-centered, collaborative environment
where we treat chronic illness as well as optimize and promote wellness for all patients.
For more information or to schedule a consultation for your
best health and life, please call 201-389-0075.

www.ValleyMedicalGroup.com/IM