Pōhai Pūlama

15 March 2010

Using Drama to Understand & Heal from the

Residual Effects of Combat: 'Theater of War'
Who would have every thought ancient Greek tragedies would become an integral part in the under-
standing and healing of the human spirit of our Warriors. This dramatic and creative approach to
providing Service members and their families with the tools to provide self-care through storytel-
ling. You are probably flashing on scenes of Brad Pitt in 'Troy' or Gerard Butler in '300'. Well, you
will be really surprised as you take your seat to see a couple of actors sitting at a table on stage.
Sounds a little anti-climatic. However, you will not be disappointed this experience will be life alter-
ing as the art of performance gives you the perspective to identify behaviors that are directly re-
lated to combat trauma.
The Pōhai Pūlama is proud to announce that our Oahu community is one of the 50 Department of De-
fense funded site visits this Spring. The production performance will take place in a variety of ven-
ues throughout the island 19-23 April. I recommend you visit the PBS NewsHour link below to see
for yourselves.

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/art/blog/2010/02/wednesday-on-the-newshour-
using-drama-to-understand-and-heal-the-wounds-of-war.html

How Many People Does it Take to Make a Difference.....The Power One

Newsletter Topics
 DoD sponsored „Theater of
War‟ 19-23 April 2010
 US Pacific Regional Medical
Command Confidential
Alcohol Treatment &
Education Program
 Gratitude Exercise
 Couples Corner: Building
Health Relationships
 Comprehensive Soldier &
Family Fitness Program
Editor: MAJ Tina Morgan
(808)258-3752 cell
The power of the human spirit is beyond imagination. The wellspring of life, it
knows no bounds. Certainly there are times when our spirits shrink... these
are the times when we feel alone and lonely... when we are too tired to stand
up to the cruelties life delivers... when we are too afraid to say no to injustice.
The spirit gets trampled on the life journey, but this does not mean it can no
longer soar. It can. But it needs our care and attention. Just like every other
part of us, spirit needs nurturing. It is a living thing that needs constant sus-
tenance. It thrives on a steady diet of beauty, love and gratitude. No matter
where life has taken you or what it has handed you, you can decide today to
nurture your spirit back to health... to bring back its power... to help it expand
to greater fullness than it has ever known. Decide to look for beauty. If it
seems to be in short supply, create some. It doesn't take much... smile a
someone. Decide to look for expression of love. Choose to learn how to give
love and receive it back, then take a risk and practice doing it. You will get
good at it because this is what the spirit knows how to do best. Decide to see
the blessings in you they are there despite whatever turmoil or distress tries to
overshadow them. Express gratitude for them all. Turn your mind to beauty,
love and gratitude. These are your spirit's three nutritional requirements.
Make a commitment to the health of your spirit. Take time to nurture it. See
how every day that you feed it, you find that much more to give it the next
day. Feel the power of your spirit embracing all that life offers. Watch it soar
as your life turns toward a future of peace, fulfillment, and joy.
 Pacific Regional Medical Command Confidential
PAGE 2

Alcohol Treatment & Education Program

A pilot program underway now at some Army installations allows Soldiers who think they might have a
problem with alcohol to seek out help without risk to their careers.
The Confidential Alcohol Treatment and Education Pilot program allows Soldiers to self-refer into, and
seek treatment from the Army Substance Abuse Program, for problems with alcohol abuse, without
having their chain of command notified.
"What this allows Soldiers to do is to come in on their own before they have an incident to see
whether they have a problem or not," said Dr. Jim Slobodzien, acting clinical director of the ASAP at
Schofield Barracks, Hawaii. "It's a time for us to do some brief counseling. Or, if we do an in-depth as-
sessment and we do diagnose them with abuse or dependence -- to get them the proper treatment."
The Army will conduct the CATEP program at three installations, including Schofield Barracks, Hawaii;
Fort Lewis, Wash. and Fort Richardson, Alaska. The program runs through Feb. 24, 2010.
In recent years, the Army has seen an increase in use of alcohol amongst Soldiers, said Chief of Staff
of the Army George W. Casey Jr.
"We've been at war for nearly eight years," the general said. "That has undeniably put a strain on our
people and our equipment. Unfortunately, in a growing segment of the Army's population, we have
seen increased stress and anxiety manifest itself through high risk behavior, including acts of violence,
excess use of alcohol, drug abuse, and reckless driving."
Soldiers are often cautioned about coming forward for help because seeking help may carry a stigma
of "weakness" and because being marked as having problems with alcohol can be damaging to a Sol-
dier's career. The CATEP program is designed to allow most Soldiers to seek help without damaging
their career due to delayed promotions or inability to reenlist, and to do so without their command's
knowledge.
"Their command is not informed," Casey said. "We've set up special hours, after duty hours on Satur-
days and Sundays, where these appointments can be made where a Soldier who self-refers can go in
and get the care and counseling he needs and hopefully head off a problem before we end up in the
reactive mode."
While the CATEP program is currently only a pilot, the information collected from the program will
eventually allow Army leaders to determine if the availability of confidentiality in treatment actually
encourages more Soldiers to self-refer.
The CATEP program began at Schofield Barracks in early July, and Slobodzien said since inception, ap-
proximately 31 percent of those referred to the ASAP have been CATEP eligible.
"We've been working with the ASAP program for 14 years and we think this is one of the major posi-
tive improvements in the program and we would like to see it go Army-wide," he said. "Our hope is
Soldiers come in before they are hitting bottom and having the DUI or spouse-related incidents."
Most, but not all Soldiers are eligible for the program. Not eligible for the program are those Soldiers
involved in an alcohol or drug-related incident, who have a referral to treatment from their com-
mander, who did not complete a previous ASAP rehabilitation due to deployment, who tested positive
for illicit use in a unit urine drug screen, or who sought treatment for drug abuse within the past 12
months.
For Soldiers currently assigned to the personal reliability program and certain military occupational
specialties, e.g., aviation, health care, parachute rigger, etc., Army regulations still require command
notification upon enrollment at the ASAP clinic, but they can still benefit from the career protections
that the CATEP offers, and are encouraged to participate.
Source: Army News Service, July 20, 2009

PŌHAI PŪLAM A
 PAGE 3

Gratitude Exercise

1. Set aside two or three minutes a day to do the gratitude exercise. The end of the day is a
good time for many people.
2. Find a quiet place where you can reflect.
3. Have a pen and paper or small notebook to write down your thoughts.
4. Write down at least five things for which you are grateful that happened during the day.
5. Write down everything for which you are grateful, from enjoying the sunrise to appreciating
your family or friends or a meal. "When writing things down," says Dr. Ben-Shahar, "fill your-
self up with the emotion of gratitude. Experience it while writing it down."
6. Take your time. Don't rush through the exercise or allow yourself to just go through the mo-
tions. Stay focused on the act of gratitude. "The key while doing the exercise is to focus,"
says Dr. Ben-Shahar. "Become mindful rather than doing the exercise as a matter of routine
on autopilot."
7. Do the gratitude exercise every so often with others -- with your partner or child or parent.
8. Practice doing the gratitude exercise for at least a month, until it becomes a habit. A month
is about the period of time it takes to form a new habit.

"By doing the gratitude exercise," says Dr. Ben-Shahar, "we remind ourselves of the miracle
that exists around us. The key is to learn to look at life anew at every moment, rejoicing in
the here and now, celebrating what we have."

One of the greatest gifts we can give to our self or anyone else is inspiration. Inspiration
to get in touch with our dreams, Inspiration to make a difference in our world, a
difference that only we can make. This is not a book about success; it‟s a book about
significance. It‟s not a book about making a living; it‟s a book about making a life. It‟s
not about fame or acclaim; it‟s about contribution and service. Instead of asking, “What
can we get from life?”, watch what happens when we ask, “What can we give?”
 PAGE 4

Couples Corner
We've both got jobs to do, a household to run, and maybe even children to raise. So the time we
spend alone together is limited. How can busy spouses, especially those dealing with a military life-
style, build a sound, lasting relationship in such a high-speed, ever changing world? A loving relation-
ship needs careful attention and constant nurturing. But it's easy to lose sight of that when we're rac-
ing through the day, trying to meet so many other demands. Here are some suggestions to help us
cultivate quality and endurance in our marriage, so that it will go the distance.
The heart of the matter
What makes us a great couple? It may begin with knowing ourselves and not trying to change each
other. Loving, long-term partnerships aren't born. They grow from a rich feeding on acceptance, com-
mitment, ritual, and empathy. Here are some strategies to help us strengthen our connection:
1. Adjust your expectations. Accept our self and our spouse as you are now. It's natural to want
the "honeymoon phase" to last forever. But it doesn't. Over time, both we and our spouse will
change, and the relationship itself will change as our lives become more complicated -- after
we start a family, for instance, are transferred to a new installation, or experience our first ex-
tended separation due to deployment. We may find that we've lost some of the spontaneity
that we once enjoyed, or perhaps our emotional needs have shifted because work takes more
of our energy. If you accept that relationships evolve, we won't be disappointed when the hon-
eymoon phase ends and another stage in your real life as a couple begins.
2. Date each other. Spend time alone together to re-ignite the intimacy and romance in our rela-
tionship. It will help you remember what brought us together in the first place. It's important
to "make" the time to be alone together, because we are unlikely, especially with the unique
demands of a military lifestyle, just to "find" it. Once a week or once a month, schedule the
kind of date we had when we were single or before we began our family. Agree not to discuss
the children, the in-laws, or finances. Dress up and go out to dinner, see a movie, or spend a
"quality" evening at home with the phone turned off.
3. Take turns planning the activities we'll do together. If we want to sustain our passion and rap-
port, romance must be an ongoing part of our relationship -- not something that's limited to
birthdays and anniversaries.
4. Become friends. It's not enough to love our spouse, and it's never too late to become true
companions. For long-term happiness, couples need to genuinely like each other -- to be both
lovers and friends. Friendship develops from shared values and mutual empathy. Spend more
time having fun. Get involved in a "joint venture" that interests us both -- gardening, making
home improvements, or volunteering at church. Or take up a new hobby together, like danc-
ing, jogging, or coaching our child's softball team.
5. Create rituals. They're the cement that helps hold a relationship together. The rituals we cre-
ate together become familiar shared pleasures we can look forward to when we're dealing with
challenges at work or in the other parts of our lives. Rituals take many forms: a goodbye kiss
before work, breakfast in bed with the crossword puzzle on weekends, or an annual holiday
shopping trip together. Develop our own rituals for daily life and holidays. Then practice them.
They will enrich your lives by providing stability -- acts of beauty, joy, and tenderness we know
we'll have whenever we're together.

PŌHAI PŪLAM A
 PAGE 5

Partnerships Take Maintenance

"Maintenance" might sound like something for your car, but in fact anything we value and that
we want to last needs attention and care. And we want our relationship to stay solid and run
smoothly for years to come. The biggest part of maintaining our relationship may be awareness
-- noticing how each of us feel, and acknowledging the things that need to change to keep
things functioning well. Here are a few practical tips from the relationship maintenance manual:
1. Take the pulse of our relationship. Just as we take stock of our career periodically, look
carefully at our relationship from time to time and work toward making the changes we
want and need. What makes each of us feel close as a couple? Is it physical affection?
Relaxing together? Talking over coffee after the kids are in bed?
2. Discuss how we're feeling about the time we spend together. Is it enough? Do we wish it
were a higher priority for our spouse? Are we communicating clearly, honestly, and fre-
quently about things that bother us? Or are we seething in silence about something that
happened weeks, months, or maybe even years ago? Put all the issues on the table and
begin making the compromises that will bring us into more harmony.
3. Make a habit of talking frequently. Just a quick phone call from work to "touch base" can
help remind you of the priority of our relationship and give you both a sense of continu-
ity. Some people use a phone call during the day as a way to settle family business, so
that when they do get home they are freer to simply enjoy each other's company. If de-
ployed, be creative. As phone calls can be costly or simply not an option, use e-mail or
write notes of love and support in advance. Make sure notes are sealed in separate enve-
lopes to be opened on specified dates. This small gesture can play a major role in assur-
ing our spouse that he or she is loved and appreciated.
4. Plan in advance for getting around roadblocks. It's helpful to "pre-discuss" situations that
we already know cause friction between us. For example, we may have disagreements
about who stays home from work when a child is sick or how you want to celebrate the
holidays. Mapping out a game plan in advance will help us deal with such occasions when
they arrive. Remember that compromise and teamwork are key. Ask yourselves, "What
are the two of us going to do to solve this problem?"
5. Share household chores. Research shows that women spend more time on household
chores than men do. Working women can feel as if they have two jobs -- the one they go
to and the one they come home to each day. The result is often a mountain of resent-
ment. Running the household together takes work on the part of both partners. Men may
need to play a bigger role, and women may need to stop criticizing their partners for do-
ing chores "the wrong way." (After all, there may be more than one way to scrub the
sink or do the laundry.) Try rotating chores to minimize the boredom and drudgery fac-
tors. For example, suggest, "I'll cook if you'll clean up tonight."
6. Be flexible. No matter how well we and our spouse talk about our differences, we won't
agree on everything. And that's normal. In fact, our differences are probably part of
what attracted us to each other in the first place. Recognize that not all differences of
opinion have to be resolved. Sometimes we just need to agree to disagree -- and be will-
ing to listen to our spouse's point of view.
7. Give each other space. Our relationship will be stronger and more interesting if we give
our spouse time and space without us. Remember that one person can't possibly meet
all our needs. Both us and our spouse must keep and nurture outside friendships and
interests.
 PAGE 6

Fighting Fairly……
It's inevitable that we and our spouse have conflicts and disagreements. Everyone does. In fact,
conflict is a natural consequence of living intimately with another person. Expect to have differ-
ences of opinion and sometimes major eruptions with our spouse. But also learn to fight fairly.
1. Don't say hurtful things when we fight. It's hard to show restraint in the heat of an argu-
ment, but it's important that we both try. Fights are part of a relationship, and they can
actually be productive. But when fights include words designed to hurt, they can poison a
relationship. Think about what we say in an argument. Even when we're angry, avoid using
the words that we know will hurt our partner.
2. Find the strength to apologize after a fight. Both of us probably said things we wish we
hadn't. And it's sometimes a matter of childish pride to wait for the other to apologize first.
Find the strength to say we're sorry. It will do wonders at smoothing over the rough feel-
ings left after the argument.
3. When we've had an argument, schedule a time to talk about what happened. Choose a
time that's convenient for both of us and a place where we can really concentrate and hear
each other. Sometimes it helps to get out of familiar surroundings to review a conflict. It
can give us perspective. Go for a walk in the park. Drive to another part of town. Sit in a
coffee shop.
4. Take turns explaining why we're angry -- and listen to each other without interrupting.
When we are talking, make an effort to keep our tone neutral. Use about as much emotion
as we would to say, "Please pass the salt."
5. Be respectful. Listen courteously while your spouse expresses feelings and needs, and ac-
knowledge them. Don't belittle his perspective.
6. Make "I" statements that express our feelings ("I feel hurt when people leave the dinner
table without thanking me for cooking") instead of "you" statements, which assign blame
("You're selfish because you leave the dinner table . . ."). Never give advice, unless our
spouse specifically requests it.
7. Take care to avoid words or phrases we know are offensive to our spouse and have made
fights escalate in the past.
8. Keep our focus on the issue at hand. Avoid the temptation to resurrect events and
"evidence" from our history as a couple.
9. If we are in the wrong, practice the lost art of apologizing. Simple words like, "What I did
was not OK. I'm sorry," can often dissolve a resentment on the spot.
10. Brainstorm together and decide on two or three constructive solutions we are willing to try
on our current problem.
11. Agree on the first strategy we'll try. Make a plan and put it into action for a specific period
of time, say a week or 10 days. Then check back with each other later to see if the plan is
working.
Saying "thanks" will remind us of our spouse's efforts. Hearing it will make our spouse feel valued
and encourage more of the same actions. Make showing and giving verbal appreciation to our
spouse a daily habit.

PŌHAI PŪLAM A
 PAGE 7

Ten Tips for Building a Strong Relationship

Ten Tips for Building a Strong Relationship
When we hear about couples who maintain a strong relationship through all of life's challenges, we
may wonder how they do it. Many of these couples have faced the same kinds of difficulties that
can lead to break-ups for other people, such as financial problems, trouble with in-laws, or differ-
ences in interests or personalities. But somehow, these couples have stayed together while others
haven't. For a long time marriage counselors and others thought that couples had the best chance
of staying together if they had similar backgrounds and interests. But recently, experts have a dif-
ferent view. Many people now believe that common backgrounds and interests may be less impor-
tant than other factors, such as how couples handle disagreements or differences about values or
how committed they are. Every couple is different, so there's no one-size-fits-all formula for a good
relationship. But people who've stayed together for a long time tend to have some of the same
things in common. Here are ten tips based on the conclusions experts have drawn from studying
successful relationships.

1. Have a strong commitment to making your relationship work

2. Think of yourselves as friends, not just as a couple

3. Accept each other's limitations

4. See yourselves as equal partners

5. Pay attention to how you communicate

6. Develop a support system

7. Handle disagreements constructively

8. Make sure each of you has some privacy and independence

9. Share rituals and traditions

10. Have fun

Comprehensive Soldier & Family Fitness Program: 30 Day Step Process to Changing Our Organizational

Our organization has showcased a new conceptual framework, Comprehensive Soldier Fitness, to
foster a holistic approach in caring for our community‟s dynamic needs. Leaders let‟s take the time
to reflect on our childhood experiences. How did our parents/parental guardians foster our well-
being? Most of what we learn as children is a direct reflection of our environment. These healthy/
unhealthy modeled behaviors reflect who we are today as individuals. We are tasked with a,
sometimes overwhelming, responsibility to personally and professional develop our Soldiers and
their families. We are sure some of us are not sure where/how to start. This column will provide
us with a monthly exercise to integrate into our daily battle rhythm. This exercise serves two pur-
poses.

1. It is a proactive way to improve our holistic well-being by role modeling healthy behaviors for
our leaders, peers and subordinates to immolate.
2. Our efforts will serve both as a preventive and treatment approach in caring for the needs of
our unique community.

March: Open up meetings/counseling sessions with taking 3-5 minutes to complete a mindfulness
group exercise. This therapeutic technique will allow the team members and leaders to take time
to break the flow of negative kinetic energy. Visit UCLA‟s Mindfulness Awareness Research Center,
www.marc.ucla.edu, to experience the positive psychology of mindfulness exercises.
April: At the end of the day in a small, platoon/squad size, group ask your Soldiers/staff “how
have I helped you be successful today?”. Then allow each team member ask the same question.
It is critical that each team member get to share and receive honest feedback as a valued member
of the team.

Comprehensive Soldier & Family Fitness Reading List

Anatomy of the Spirit
Caroline Myss, Ph.D. Positive Energy
Judith Orloff, M.D.
Findhorn Retreat Stillness Amidst the World
Eckhart Tolle Authentic Happiness
Martin Seligman, Ph.D
Healing Trauma
Peter A. Levine, Ph.D. Purpose Driven Life
Eckhart Tolle.
How to Lead & Still Have a Life
H. Dale Burke

You are not here by mistake. Around the world and down through the ages there has never been another you,
and there will never be another you. The miracle of your existence is now in your hands.
You are here for a purpose. You have something that only you can give to the world.
Take time to consider what that is.