One Bris

at a Time

B I R TH
BLOOM

Ambassador for Bris Milah

By Etty Berkowitz

An Interview with Rabbi Moshe Chaim Friedman, Certified Mohel

With all the negative media attention surrounding a
traditional Jewish circumcision, or bris milah, many
nonreligious couples who would previously have done a
kosher bris milah now opt for a hospital
circumcision instead. Such a circumcision,
carried out on the second or third day of life,
is not a kosher bris. One determined mohel
does his utmost to bring as many children
into this special covenant between G-d and
the Jewish people.
Rabbi Moshe Chaim Friedman, a Boro Park native, trained
under the famed Rabbi A. Romi Cohn, the chairman of the
American Board of Ritual Circumcision. Aside from servicing
1 2 Hamodia Supplement November 2015

the Orthodox Jewish community in the Brooklyn area,

Rabbi Friedman specializes in performing circumcisions for
unobservant or unaffiliated Jewish families.
Says Rabbi Friedman, From my vantage point as mohel,
I sit on the fine line where Judaism ends and assimilation
begins. Much of the negativity and mistrust towards
mohalim (ritual circumcisors) stems from the citys campaign
to discredit mohalim, and traditional bris milah in general.
In New York City, parents are handed brochures in the
hospital which make false claims that using mohalim can
cause death in infants. With a new baby at home, parents
dont have time to read the literature thoroughly and research
the issue.

Showcasing the Beauty of the Bris

So how does Rabbi Friedman encourage parents to
choose a kosher circumcision for their sons? One bris
at a time. Each bris is an opportunity for me to showcase
the beauty of this sacred ritual. Many of the participants
at the event have never been to a bris ceremony, and I
like to show them that a mohel is a professional, and will
perform the circumcision in a completely safe and sterile
way, so they arent compromising at all by doing it outside
of a hospital. Inevitably, after performing a bris, Rabbi
Friedman is approached by guests who let him know that
theyd been planning a hospital circumcision for their asyet-unborn son, but would now choose a mohel to do a bris
milah on the eighth day. Once they see that it isnt at all
an ancient, primitive ritual as portrayed by the media, but
rather a sterile, safe procedure, they are open to choosing
a kosher bris for their own child.
Rabbi Friedman tries to make the bris as quick, clean
and as painless as possible, both for the babys comfort
and for the parents peace of mind. A new technique he
perfected, using a hemostatic dressing on the wound,
instantly causes the blood to coagulate, which allows
him to remove the entire bandage a few minutes after the
bris. Using this method, parents dont need a follow-up
visit with the mohel. The baby is calmer, and there are no
bandages to deal with.
He involves the family in the ceremony, explaining
everything he does. I want them to be active participants,
not just bystanders. He has all parts of the ceremony
translated and transliterated for those who cant read
Hebrew and explains everything in English.
Just before performing a bris he will frequently tell
the crowd the following moving story: A mohel from the
United States traveled to Russia to perform circumcisions
on children and adults there. At one bris, where the child
was already a year old, the baby was handed to its mother
after the ceremony, whereupon she fainted. After she had
been revived, she explained, My child couldnt have a bris
on the eighth day, since there are no mohalim in the area.
I didnt want his bris to be something that would keep
getting postponed, so I promised myself that I wouldnt
kiss my child until he had a bris, until he was a complete
Jew. After the bris today, I kissed my one-year-old son for
the first time in his life. Thats why I fainted. This story
especially inspires many of Rabbi Friedmans clients who
are Jews of Russian origin.
Another important element is humor, and Rabbi
Friedman uses it liberally to lighten the atmosphere at
a bris. I dont want it to be doom and gloom. I want to
show the parents and guests that bris milah, and Judaism
in general, are happy and elevated. When instructing
the father to appoint him as an agent to perform a bris
(since it is the fathers obligation), Rabbi Friedman will
quip, You have a choice, Dad. I will happily lend you my
instruments and you can do what is called The Home
Depot Do-It-Yourself version, or you can appoint me as

your agent to do it on your behalf! Of course, the father

chooses to appoint Rabbi Friedman, and the crowd
has a good laugh. At one bris, the babys grandmother
approached Rabbi Friedman and said, Rabbi, if you ever
retire as a mohel, you can make a living as a stand-up
comedian!
One memorable bris took place in the 76-story
Beekman Tower, the tallest residential building in the
United States. I told the parents it was probably the
highest bris above street level ever performed! And
when the chief of staff of the Israeli
Ambassador to the United Nations
had a baby, they called Rabbi
Friedman, who performed the bris
in the ambassadors residence.

Even the Queen Used A

Mohel
Rabbi Friedman is regularly called upon by rabbis and
professionals to speak to parents who are hesitant to do a
bris. I give the parents comfort and reassurance by telling
them that even the Queen of England chose a mohel for
her son, and that the circumcision for Prince Charles was
done by the Chief Mohel of London.
Many times the bris takes place in the couples
home, rather than in a synogague, for those who arent
comfortable in an overtly religious environment, and
the intimate home setting is conducive to a positive
experience.
Referrals for Rabbi Friedmans services also come
from top urologists and obstetricians, and couples are
reassured that they can have a mohel who is recommended
by medical professionals they trust. Sadly, says Rabbi
Friedman, not all battles can be won, and unfortunately
many parents still opt for a hospital circumcision.
Rabbi Friedmans schedule is not for the faint of heart.
Over the course of his 10 years as a mohel, the number
of brisos he has performed totals in the thousands. He
often does numerous circumcisions daily, all around
the tri-state area. His record (so far) is five brisos in one
day. And on one busy day, he performed three brisos in
three different states, all within 300 minutes. (10:30 a.m.
in Stamford, Connecticut, 1:00 p.m. in Elizabeth, New
Jersey, and the final at 3:00 p.m. in Staten Island, New
York.) But despite his packed calendar, parents know he is
just a phone call away for all their questions and concerns.
Each evening, Rabbi Friedman phones the parents of the
baby who had a bris that day to check on how hes doing.
Ill say, Hows my little friend feeling? and give them a
chance to ask any questions they have.
Mohalim have the custom of recording every
circumcision they perform in a book so that every Jew
brought into the covenant of our forefather Abraham, the
first circumcised Jew, is documented. Rabbi Friedmans
clients also receive a beautiful laminated certificate with
the boys name as a memento of the event and to ensure

Simchos in Bloom Kislev 5776

13

B I R TH
BLOOM

I GOT A CALL FROM A FATHER TWO

WEEKS AFTER HIS SONS BRIS, AND
HE SAID EVERYTHING WAS GREAT, BUT
HE WAS CURIOUS TO KNOW WHEN HE
NEEDED TO BUY TEFILLIN FOR HIS SON.

they remember the Hebrew name

and birthday. They also receive
an adorable baby outfit with the
caption, Rabbi Friedman said I am
a Big Tzaddik.
To hundreds of families, Rabbi
Friedman is the only link to
Judaism they have. He therefore
makes a special effort to keep in
contact. He remains in touch with
all the families he interacts with
by sending a weekly email with
Good Shabbos wishes, and a cute
quote or story. He reminds them
about upcoming Yamim Tovim and,
with humor and inspiration, keeps
them connected to their heritage.
He frequently receives photos of
the children for whom hes done
a bris, doing various mitzvos such
as shaking lulav and esrog. The
parents are proud to share with
Rabbi Friedman that their child is
connected to Yiddishkeit, and write,
Look how big your tzaddik has
become.

1 4 Hamodia Supplement November 2015

A Springboard for Growth

The bris milah is sometimes an

inspiration to families to get involved
more Jewishly. Rabbi Friedman is
often the first observant Jew theyve
interacted with, and many follow up
with him on questions in any area of
Judaism. I got a call from a father
two weeks after his sons bris, and he
said everything was great, but he was
curious to know when he needed to
buy tefillin for his son. Another father
was fascinated by the ceremony,
and expressed interest in learning
Torah, so I offered to learn with him
on the phone each week. I am asked
all the time about yahrtzeits, hanging
mezuzos, upsherins, where to find a
Jewish school, and even for help in
choosing girls names. I encourage
parents with an eligible firstborn son
to have a pidyon haben, although I need
to explain to them that as a descendant
of the tribe of Levi, I cant perform it
for them.
So what is Rabbi Friedmans advice
to laypeople to counter the negative

hype against ritual circumcision?

If you have a coworker or perhaps a
neighbor who is expecting a baby, refer
them to a mohel with experience in
this type of bris. You never know what
the ripple effect will be.
Rabbi Friedman was once asked by
the nonreligious grandfather of a baby
to put a book under the baby at the
ceremony, since that was the custom
in their family. I asked to see the book
first, not knowing what he had in mind.
The 90-year-old grandfather took out
an old sefer, dusty and worn. It was
a copy of the Sefer Kedushas Levi. I
asked him what his name was, and
he replied Derbaremdiker. It turns
out that the grandfather was a direct
descendant of the books author, famed
eighteenth-century sage and tzaddik
Rabbi Levi Yitzchak MBarditchev!
Rabbi Friedman concludes, You never
know what merits these children
have. Although from an unobservant
family, this baby merited a kosher
bris, no doubt in the merit of his holy
forebears.