The

Freak
Show.
By Steven Donnini

Copyright 2010
Steven Donnini

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At a farm house just outside Quitman, Texas the

Larva family is sitting down to Sunday dinner.

Sweet corn on the cob, summer squash and fried yard

bird.

Danny just passed his 21 birthday announces, “I’m

joining the circus. I’ll have my own act. Dog

Boy, born half man, half dog, raised as a dog in a

farm house and discovered in the back woods of East

Texas.”

The news of Danny being transformed into “Dog Boy”

the circus freak is greeted with mixed emotions.

Bob Danny’s Dad asks, “What the fuck is wrong with

you? Eat your dinner and shut your trap. You’re

not going anywhere. I need you around here to help

with the peaches.”

Madame Larva (Big Momma) is convinced that this

development will lead to disaster for his resume.

But it will get Danny out of the house and a steady

paycheck. There are many questions one of which is

about how he will take the two dogs Little and Chi

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Chi. After all she doesn’t want them around without

Danny, they know no other master?

Danny has some answers, “I’m going to take Little

and Chi Chi along as my Mom and Dad in the show.”

Madame lights her glass pipe, “But people aren’t

that stupid.”

Danny, “Laura assured me that they are. She said

they will believe anything.

Granpa, “Who’s Laura? A slut?”

Fly, “Looks like what they put on the cover of The

Globe the supermarket tabloid.”

Bob, “Getting those useless mutts off the davenport

and out from under foot, that’s a plus.”

Fly, “All they do is chase Peaches around in

circles.”

Bob eating a corn on the cob, “They scare the

customers too.”

Danny, “That’s not their fault.”

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Bob, “People aren’t afraid of them, it’s you that

scares them.”

Danny, “That’s bull.”

Bob, ”What about that little girl.”

Danny, “What?”

Bob, “You know what.”

Madame, “That kid was just upset because Chi Chi

bit her mother in the ankle.”

Sister Fly, “Yeah, the sight of blood does that.”

Danny, “That’s why I’m leaving home. No one can

talk to me about what I want to do with my life.”

Bob, “But so far all we heard was how you are going

to become a freak show carnie. What do you

expect.”

Madame, “Yeah, I didn’t raise you to become a

carnie.”

Danny, “Well what did you expect?”

Madame, “We thought you would become a insurance

broker or a car salesmen.”

Bob, “Like the Duck insurance company AFLAC.”

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Danny, “So, I tried some different stuff. But

things didn’t work out.”

Bob, “You lost that job at the lumber yard.”

Danny, “That wasn’t my fault.”

Bob, “That was the biggest fire in the town’s

history.”

Danny, “You’ll never let me forget that.”

Fly, “At school when the volunteer firefighters

come to do a show and tell, they always show

pictures of the lumber yard fire.”

Madame, “Yeah, you’re already famous Danny.”

Danny, “Gee thanks.”

Bob, “Like that woman we saw on TV who burned

herself up with a cigarette.”

Fly, “That was spontaneous combustion.”

Bob, “What?”

Fly, “Sometimes people just explode into flames.”

Bob, “What a bunch of crap.”

Fly, “They say it happens all the time.”

Bob, “You’re full of it.”

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Fly, “There was this guy who was out drinking with

a woman in a Karaoke Bar in Dallas. He just

exploded. Just like that. Poof.”

Madame, “His wife walked in and hit him over the

head with a coke bottle.”

Bob, “Damn that must hurt.”

Once committed to the freak show entertainment

opportunity Bob and Danny spend weeks working on

the broke down motor home that has been parked in

the yard. It was in a dilapidated condition and

needed a complete over hall and custom paint job to

help promote the Dog Boy Show. Bob is a great farm

equipment mechanic. So he worked on the motor,

breaks and pluming. Danny cleaned out the interior

and grew out enough hair to make it all believable.

Fly painted a graphic across both sides of the

motor home that was her best effort at doggy

portraits of Little, Chi Chi and Dog Boy. Then she

painted across the sides See “The Amazing Dog Boy.

Half Man, Half Dog.” They were in a bit of a time

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crunch because the first engagement was just 16

days away in Shreveport, LA. where he would meet up

with Laura at the Hanson Entertainment Shows.

As Bob, Danny, Fly, Madame and Grandpa stood in the

driveway looking at collective talent to transform

the motor home into a traveling Freak Show Home.

Bob says, “Well my boy, see what the Larva’s can

accomplish when we put our talents to work.”

Danny, “Wow. She’s a beauty.”

Fly, “The paint job makes it special.”

Grandpa, “Can’t believe what you did with that hunk

of crap.”

Madame, “If things don’t work out maybe we can sell

it.”

Danny, “Thanks for the confidence builder Mom.”

Bob, “Well, got to admit Danny your resume has a

few gopher holes.”

Fly, “I think you’ll do great Danny. And even if

you don’t, think of all the corny dogs and cotton

candy you can eat.”

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On the midway of the Hanson Entertainment Freak

Show, Danny and the dogs have settled into the Dog

Boy exhibit for the next show.

The exhibit looks like a window display in a

Natural History Museum. The background is a

natural East Texas piney woods setting. Pine tree

trunks, a convincing painted of a pine forest on

the back wall, a lean two, three camping bowls and

a small campfire where Danny, Little and Chi Chi

are posed for the people who walk by.

Beside them in a display is a beaded woman named

Marie. She is an old timer, been on the show since

1985 when it belonged to another company and she

was a young woman of 30. Her beard started growing

when she was 16 years old. She quickly gave up on

shaving because she had a 5:00 shadow at noon. Her

school mates in White River Vermont never quit

teasing her. No matter how many times the school

teachers punished the bullies, it never let up.

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She is a shy but resigned to her fate as a freak.

She was married once but he ran off with a man with

no arms. A thalidomide baby from the 50’s when

many children were born with flippers for arm and

legs. He said he was looking for a mate that needed

him for moral support and compassion.

She didn’t think being a thalidomide baby boy was

any worse than a woman with thick facial hair. But

life goes on and Marie makes a good living and

finds acceptance with the carnies. Danny and Marie

have lively conversation between shows. Marie does

love dogs. On the other side of Danny’s exhibit is

the surly “The Alligator Man” who they call “Al”.

He is floating in a swamp setting wearing an

alligator head and skins over a wetsuit. It is

very convincing for the smell of pee. Al drinks

beer 24-7 and can’t take pee breaks so he just pees

in the pool. His arms and legs look like human

ones with alligator skin. But all this covering is

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itchy and hot even in the water tank he floats

around in.

The attraction “Talker” is a 22 year old man named

William who was a “Tall” man (on stilts) at one

point but decided to be a talker because he’s a

great crowd announcer and attracts spenders.

The show starts with William walking out into the

midway crowd towering to 7 feet tall wearing an Abe

Lincoln suit and stove top hat. He starts his talk

with a high sound piercing voice . “Hay there

citizens, I have a story to tell about a young baby

boy is miraculously born to two dogs, his mother

Chi Chi and father Little in the piney woods of

East Texas. How could that be? But seeing is

believing. He walks on all fours, eats and sleeps

with his mom Chi Chi and dad Little. He can bark

like a hound, case birds though the forest and out

run the county game Warden. There’s a legion among

the people who live deep in the woods that until

they walked out of the woods to avoid a forest

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fire, the dog family was only seen on nights of the

full moon. Like werewolves they were relentlessly

hunted and the legion of the Dog Boy grew. Now for

the price of a Sunday newspaper you can see the

entire family in their natural setting. Plus for

the same ticket price, in her fully natural facial

hair, the world famous “Marie the Bearded Woman.”

But that’s not all, see “The Alligator Man”. You

will be amazed and shocked at the man that is Al

“The Alligator Man”.

The visitors gate opens for people to walk by the

viewing displays . They stop and pear in at Danny

feeding and playing with the dogs.

One 10 year old Kid says, “That little white dog is

ugly. Yuck, Dog Boy is giving them food from his

mouth.”

Mother, “Henry, Dog Boy is licking his gonads.”

Henry, “His own? Hay that’s sickening, man.”

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Another Father, “Hay buddy that’s not something

kids should see.” Henry walks back to the Freak

Show gate. William is counting the money.

Henry, “What the fuck is going on here. You got

this guy Dog Boy licking his nads. Sick fuck.”

William “See the sign. We are not responsible for

what the freaks do that may offend you.”

Henry, “I want my money back.”

William, “This is a one way ticket Pal.”

Henry, “We’re out of here.”

Two teenage boys buy tickets for them and their

girl friends.

Teen boy, “I told you about the freak that licks

his nads.”

Girl, “His own balls? I got to see this.”

Al The Alligator Man is yelling at Danny, “You son

of a bitch. That’s cheating you are getting people

to come back by doing that.”

Danny, “I’m half dog, so I can do whatever dogs

do.”

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Al, “You’re a mutant not a dog, the city could shut

us down.”

Teen Boy, “Look at Dog Boy. He’s smelling Chi

Chi’s ass.”

William, “There’s no law against smelling her butt

hole.”

Woman, “Pardon me but in Florida, where I come from

they call that bestiality and it’s illegal.”

William, “OK. I’ll have to put that on the sign.

It’s illegal in Florida to lick your own gonads in

public.”

Teen, “Cool. What a pervert.”

Henry walks away with the family, “Butt hole

eater.”

William, “Watch the language around here. See the

sign. This is a family friendly place.”

Al, “This isn’t a bestiality exhibit. It’s a freak

show.”

William, “Not any more. If there’s money in it.”

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Marie The Bearded Lady, “Since we’re looking for

new ways to improve the show, have you ever seen an

Armenian woman’s beard?”

Al, “Yeah. You have one on your face.”

Marie The Bearded Lady, “Not that one.”

William, “Have you been hiding something?”

The Bearded Lady, “Not really. But if it will get

more customers I’ll show it off.”

Al, “Don’t be bashful Marie.”

William, “Lets take a look.”

Marie The Bearded Lady, “Sure you can’t see

anything because of the long hair. See.”

She pulls up her dress to reveal another full beard

growing in her crotch. “See, there are many

Armenian bearded woman.”

Danny, “Jesus that looks like one of the guitar

players in ZZ Top.”

William, “Wow just look at that thing is growing

down to your knees.”

Al, “Wait, let me take a look.”

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He climbs out of his exhibit and walks over to her.

William, “Get the hell back in there.”

Al, “Kiss my tookis.” Al takes a long look. “That

thing is amazing. It’s like a Rabbi’s beard.”

William announces, “For the price of a corny dog

see the amazing Armenian Bearded woman with two

beards one on each end of the pie hole.”

William, “Oh nice. That’s why they call it a

Freak Show.”

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