Escolar Documentos
Profissional Documentos
Cultura Documentos
Comment: repetitive
THE PROBLEM: Repetition is often indicative of a general or weak
argument or poor organization.
THE FIX: Providing specific and clear examples can help you to
minimize repetition of general points. Rather than make
multiple vague statements about poor performance of the
current national government, you should identify specific
examples of harmful policies and discuss how these examples
support your argument.
In addition, a reverse outline can help you to differentiate
supporting points that may be repetitive. Once you have
identified these separate points, they can be reorganized in
effective paragraphs. See comments on being disorganized
for more advice.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCE: Revising Argument and Organization:
The Reverse Outline
Comment: disorganized
THE PROBLEM: Your paragraphs may not be organized around
one central idea. When you try to incorporate too many ideas
in one paragraph, the ideas compete and weaken one
another.
THE FIX: Be sure each paragraph presents one clear point; avoid
clumping multiple ideas for one supporting point in a single
paragraph. Breaking these ideas into separate paragraphs will
allow you to better develop your supporting point. Remember
that you dont need to follow a five paragraph essay model;
include as many paragraphs as you need.
Good paragraphs are the backbone to an organized paper; a
good paragraph introduces its one idea, presents the evidence
ADDITIONAL RESOURCE
Feedback on Writing
Comment: awkward or unclear writing
THE PROBLEM: You may rely on unnecessary jargon, broad
generalizations, or long and complicated sentences, which can
make your idea unclear and your argument ineffective.
THE FIX You should avoid jargon or other words that are not
familiar to you, and be cautious with your use of the
thesaurus. Simplify your sentences to present a single idea
and be specific in your points.
EXAMPLE
1. Unclear: Stupefied by a venerable quandary,
professional biological specialists are unable to
precisely determine the hierarchical placement of the
flightless, domesticated ornithological specimen or its
reproductive ovum.
a. Clear: Scientists are unable to answer an ageold question. Which came first: the chicken or
the egg?
2. Unclear: Elucidate and abridge your discourse at the
sentential level to articulate a solitary
conceptualization, and exact precision in the rendering
of your hypotheses.
a. Clear: Simplify your sentences to present a
single idea and be specific in your points.
Comment
poor word choice
THE PROBLEM: Inaccurate or inappropriate word choice can
radically alter the meaning of your sentence and the clarity of
your argument.
THE FIX: Look for opportunities to improve specificity and
accuracy, and use a dictionary instead of a thesaurus.
EXAMPLE
1. When using pronouns like it, this, and they, be
sure it is clear what noun they are referring to (the
legislation, the negative reaction, or language
experts).
2. Also watch for value-laden language; words like
primitive or barbaric carry different connotations
than traditional or dangerous.
Comment
poor grammar
THE PROBLEM: Improper punctuation or incorrect sentence
structure makes your message unclear or inaccurate. Further,
poor grammar can make your entire paper seem
unconvincing; your good ideas lose their strength when they
are not communicated clearly.
THE FIX: Edit for grammar, punctuation, and word choice after
editing for organization, clarity, and argument. Separating
your revision process into stages will allow you to focus on
sentence construction, verb use, and punctuation. Learn how
to identify and fix common grammatical errors.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCE: Grammar and Clear Writing Modules 1-4
Comment