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TO THE WIFE WHOS READY TO RUN . . .

June9,2014byMichelleLindsey 33Comments

Thispostisforthewifewhoisreadytobolt.Theonewhos
fedupandsickoffeelingalone.Iagree,itsunfairthatyou
aredisregarded.IfeelsostronglyaboutitbecauseIwas
oncethere,butthestrangethingis...Icanbarelyrecallit.
Thingshavechangedsomuchinmymarriagethatitshard
topicturehowmiserableIfelt.Igetchillsdownmyspine
whenIthinkabouthowcloseweweretoquitting.Atthis
moment,asItypethispost,Imwaitingformyhusbandto
returnfromabusinesstrip,andIhappentobecountingthe
hoursuntilIseehisface.Iamsogladweendedupinthis
place.

There are so many reasons to stay

ThisistheguyIfellheadoverheelsforwhenIwaseighteen.ThisistheguyIwaitedforwhileheserved
twoyearsinKoreawhileintheAirForce.HestheoneIgrewintoadulthoodwith.Hestheonewho
occupiesmybestmemories.Hesthefatherofmychildren.ThosechildrenloveusbothandIwantthem
toenjoyuswithoutdealingwiththefalloutofdivorce.Iwanttoenjoymygrandchildrenwithmyhusband.
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HeandIaretheoneswhomadethem,afterall.
Peopleliketosay,Dontstayforthechildren.Wellwhythehecknot?Theyareonlymyfleshandblood
anddearertomethananythingonthisearth.GoddoesntditchmewhenItreathimhorrible.SoIwantto
reflectthatkindoflovetomyhusbandandmykids.Callmecrazy,butknowingGodiswithmenomatter
whatinspiresmetolovemyhusbandandchildrenthatway.

Feelings are a pathetic measuring stick

Italkedwithaladyattheparktheotherdaywhotoldmeshehasbeenmarriedfortwentyyears.Shetold
methatshethoughtaboutgettingadivorceelevenyearsintothemarriagebecauseshewassounhappy.
Shefeltignoredandunappreciated.Shewastotallyfedupwithbeingawife.Iaskedherifshewasglad
shestayedmarriedshetoldmeshewas.100%.
Iaskedherwhatchangedthroughthecourseoftheirrelationshipthatmadesuchapositivechange.She
toldmethatitwasthetoughtimesthatdrewthemclose.Theyrealizedtheyneededeachotherinorderto
facetheworld,whichcanbeprettyharsh.Theywantedtheirchildrentohavearefugetocometowhen
thingsgotcrazyforthem.Shetoldmeshewasntgivingintoheremotions.Herfeelingswerenotgoingto
steerheranywhere.

What do we base our decisions on?

Eventhoughtheycametoapointwheretherewasverylittleaffectionandnofeelingsoflove,theystuck
itout.Theystayed.Doesthissoundlikemisery?Isitcrueltoexpecttwopeoplewhohappentobe
unhappytostaytogether?Whatifonespouseisunhappyandtheotherspousestillfeelsinlove?Whodo
wedeferto?Wehavetobaseourmarriageonsomethingmoresolidthanourfeelings.
TimKellerstatesinhisbook,TheMeaningofMarriage,

Twothirdsofunhappymarriageswillbecomehappywithinfiveyears.

Ifoundthistobesotrueinmyownmarriage.Itwasalsotruefortheladyatthepark.Shetoldmeaftera
fewyears,sheforgothowunhappysheoncefelt.Shecouldonlyfeelgratefulforthechangeshesawin
herspouse,andthematuritythathedisplayedaftersomanyyearsofworkingthroughproblemsand
celebratingsmallvictories.

Putting our heart in its proper place

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Putting our heart in its proper place

Itwasrefreshingtohearthesewordsofhope.Thereisareasondivorceissorampantthesedays.We
aretaughttofollowourheartsfromtoddlerhood.(ThankyouDisney.)Ourheartschangelikethewind.Its
dangeroustoletemotionsswayussomuch.
Isaytellyourhearttozipit,andrelyonsomethingmoretrusting.WrapyourmarriageintheGospeland
seehowmucheasieritistoforgive,love,andmostofall,stay.Imnotsuggestingyouliveacold
existencewithoutemotions.Lovingandfeelingpassionisgood.Divorcingbecauseyouvemovedonand
feelhappierelsewhereisbad.Givingandreceivingaffectionishealthy.Decidingyouneedadifferent,
betterkindoflove(thatmakesyoufeelgood)isbad.
Thelastthingtheladyattheparksaidwas,

Neverletyourtemporaryfeelingsmakepermanentchanges.

Thatisamazingadvice.Letsbeslowertomakerashdecisions.Letsserveothersinsteadofdemanding
tobeserved.Letsloveourspousesinsteadofcomplainingthattheydontmakeusfeelhappy.Dont
throwyourhistoryandyourfutureawayallatonce.Justtakeafewbreathsandtakeinventoryofyour
blessings.Thestatisticsareinyourfavoryoullprobablyonedaylookacrosstheroomandbegrateful
youstayed.
UPDATE:Readmyfollowupposthere.

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Jointhediscussion
MN ayearago

Whatdoyoudothoughwhenyou'respouseisn'tGodly?Whatdoyoudowhenhedegradesyourchildren
andisheartlessandcruel?Howdoyoufindthegoodinamanlikethat?Followingscriptureandnotmy
heart.IbuildashieldbetweenhimandthemtokeepthemprotectedthebestIcanbutIcan'talwaysbe
therelikeIwanttobe.Howdoyounotleave?
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Tara>MN 8monthsago

Youdoleave.Nooneshouldmentally,physicallyorverballyabuseyourchildrenoryou!!Ibelieve
instayingmarriedwhentimesaretoughandlifegetsstressful.Yougetoneachothersnerves,dont
seeeyetoeye,etcetc.HoweverabuseisNEVERacceptable.NEVER.
1

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MYPHOTOLIFE 2yearsago

Michelle,whatwouldyousayaboutahusbandwhoisaserialcheaterAndonlygetssneakierandbetterat
hidingit?Noteven1monthintoourmarriageandhebegananaffairatwork.Thisiswhatdrewmeto
Christandhebeganattendingchurchw/me.Whenthedustsettled,hereturnedtohisGodlesshabitsand
cheatedyetagain.EvenfurtherfromGodandinnowayaleaderofourfamily,muchlessapositiverole
modeltoourchildren,Icometofindoutrecentlythathesustainedapassionaterelationshipw/acoworker
foroverayear.Formostofourdecadelongmarriage,Ihavefeltutterlyalone,unloved,andso
discouraged.Yet,becauseIwantedtodotherightthingasIdofeartheLord,andbecauseIamdeeply"in
love"w/him,pluswehave3childrentogether,Ididn'tgiveup.Herefusestodocounselingorchangehis
ways,andneedlesstosay,althoughhesaysheendedtheaffair,theystillworktogether.Iamdone,done,
done!Ihavebeggedforashredofattention,foralittlebitoflove,IsacrificedsomuchforhimandIcannot
takeanymore.Whenisenough,enough?
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notlostjustwandering>MYPHOTOLIFE 2yearsago

Soundslikeenough,tome!JesussaysinMatthew19thatitisn'tgoodtodivorceEXCEPTin
casesofadultery.Asachildofdivorcedparents,Ijustwantyoutoknowthekidswillbeokay.
Don'tbadmouthyourhusband/exhusbandinfrontofthem,andthey'llfigureoutforthemselves
howwronghisactionswere.They'llaskquestions,andyoucangiveplainhonestanswerslike
"Well,yourfatherdecidedtohavearelationshipwithanotherwoman,andthenonemore,andthat
endedourmarriage."They'llrealizehisfaultsandformtheirownopinionsabout,justlikeIdidwith
mydad.Youaresendingaclearmessagetoyourkidsthatitisnotacceptableforamantotreata
womanthisway,especiallyinaprofessedChristianmarriage.I'msorrythisishappeningtoyou,
anditwillgetbetter.<3
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guest>MYPHOTOLIFE 2yearsago

Myphotolife,Iambeyondsorryforthissituation.ThebestbitsofadviceIcangivearethis:
1.Pray.FullyexpectGodtohearandansweryouaslongasyouprayaccordingtoHiswill.
(Prayingforyourhusbandtogethurtortheotherwomantolooseherteethprobablywon'tgeta
response).Don'tjustprayaboutyourhusband,prayFORhim.Heislost,believingsomelie(s)that
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response).Don'tjustprayaboutyourhusband,prayFORhim.Heislost,believingsomelie(s)that
hashimcaughtupincheating.Ifyouhaven'tgottenitalready,tryStormieOmartan"Powerofa
PrayingWife".Regardlessofthesituation,youareawiferightnow.Yourprayersforyourhusband
arestillverypowerful.
2."Bestillandknowthat(He)isGod".Thereisareasonallofthisisbeingallowed.SeekGodfor
understandingandtolearnYOURpurposeforthisstorm.RememberthatGodisnotjustyour
Fatherbutalsoyourhusband's.Thereisaworkgoingonhereforbothofyou.Whileyouwait,
focusonyourrelationshipwithGodandbeingthebestYOU(womanandmother)youcanbe.Ask
Godfordirectiontoleaveorstay,anddon'tgoanywhereuntilyougetit.
Belovedmyprayersarewithyou.Stayingisn'teasyandneitherisleaving.Findfriendsthatare
Godlywives/womentobeyoursupportthroughthis.Itssoeasytoblameyourhusbandforallthat
isgoingon(yes,cheatingisfullyhischoiceandfault),butshiftyourfocusfromhimontoyourself.
Whatcouldyoudotobeabetterwifeandfriend?Whatemotionalbaggagedoyouneedtounpack?
Areyouthewomanyouwanttobe,andifnot,whatisstoppingyoufrombeingthatwoman?Ifhe
isn'twillingtogotocounseling,gobyyourself(that'sprobablybestrightnowanyway).
AlloftheaboveisadvicepeoplehavemewhileIwasgoingthroughasimilarsituation.I'mstill
tryingtofigurethingsout,butGodhasn'tgivenmedirectionyetsoI'mtakingitthatHewantsmeto
bestill.
Expectthebest!
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JaclynSuzanne>guest ayearago

youneedtorun.Ithinkthisarticleiscompletebullshit.ItisHERperceptionofMarriage.
Notreality.GreatthingsworkedoutforHERbutthat'snotthecaseforeveryonewhogets
married.Imlivingproof.Iwouldn'thavemysonIfIdidn'tleavemyhusband.
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JessicaGraves>JaclynSuzanne ayearago

Agreed!Iwouldn'tbehereormychildrenifmymomhadn'tlefthernogood(druggie
tothisday)husband!Sometimestherearereasonstorun!Yes,toomanypeople
throwdowndivorcepaperstooquickly.Thereareplentyofgoodreasonstodoso.
JustBCyoudodoesn'tmeanyourteachingyourkidstodothesame.Ihavebeen
happilymarriedfor11yearsandwehavebeenthroughalotofhorriblestuff.Ifyour
marriageisfullofthelackofGodlyleadership,adultery,abuse(physicalor
emotional),drugoralcoholabuse(especiallyinfrontofyourkids)thenyes,RUN!!
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SamH.>JessicaGraves ayearago

Asachildofabuseandwatchingmymotherleaveandgoback...Itmakesmesick
toread"Stay,because"GOD"wantsyouto...SuchBS.Idolikethearticle,interms
ofaregularcouplejustkindoffallingout.ButifyourhusbandisCHEATINGand
ABUSINGyou/yourkids,leavehisass!!"God"canshoveit,yourlifeandyourkid's
livesareSOmuchmoreimportantthatsomeinvisiblebeing"judging"you!Thank
yougirlsforsayingrun!Forhavingsomesortofsenseandaheadonyour
shoulders!
3

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Guest 2yearsago

Michelle,thisposthasbeenmorethanusefultomethroughthispastdays.I'vebeenthinkingaboutbolting
becauseIthoughtnooneeverfeelslikethisintheirrelationshipsandthatitjustwasn'tright,butnowI
seeingotherpoeplegoingthroughthesamesituationandhowthingscanbedeltwithwithoutrushinginto
decisionshasbeenquiteofaneyeopenerandalifesavior.Thankyousomuch.
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ValFlynn 2yearsago

WhatagreatpostMichelle.TherehavebeenmanytimesinmymarriagethatIhavewantedtobolt.The
painthatmyhusband'ssinhascausedmeovertheyearswasattimesmorethanIthoughtIcouldbear.
ButGodistheGodofredemptionandrestorationandmanhashedoneabangupjob!Iaminawedailyat
howinloveIamwithmyhusband,howgratefulIamforhim,whatanamazingleaderheistomeandhow
deeplyIdesiretobewithhim.Godhaschangedmetoo,inthatevenwhenheischoosingsininhis
attitudeorbehavior,insteadofwantingtorunIhaveadesiretobeusedbyGodtohelphimthroughit.
Amazingreally.
12

Michelle

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Mod ayearago

Iamnotspeakingfromsomefairytaleland.Ifyouknewwhatwehaveendured,youwouldn'tbetoquick
tocallthisarticleridiculous.Godcanredeemeventhetoughestsituations.Iamlivingproof.WhatdidIdo?
Isatmyselfincounseling,Iprayed,Italkedwithfriends,Iwentbacktocounseling,IrealizedIampartof
theproblem.Whenthereisanytypeofabuse,ofcourse,seekhelp.Leavingdoesn'tmeandivorce.And
thisarticleclearlydoesn'tsupportabuse.Itsupportsstayingandtryingandtrusting,evenwhenitlooks
bleak.Myhusbandisnotthesameman.Iamnotthesamewoman.ThankGod.Blessingstoyouall.I
knowit'shard.Hugs.
10

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AndyAnderson 2yearsago

Michelle,wonderfularticle!MywifeKarenandIhaveknowneachothersincehighschoolsweethearts.
LastAugustwecelebrateour40thWeddingAnniversaryonAugust3,2013.Isurprisedher,andtookher
toCamanoIslandandwentZipLining!Shehasalwayswantedtodothis,soImadesurewedidthis
together.IwouldhavetosaythatthefoundationofourmarriagehasbeenJesusChrist,andwehavebeen
committedtoHimfirst,andcommittedtoeachotherbecauseofthatcommitmenttoHim.Allmarriages
havetheirupsanddowns,andcriticalpointsthatcouldhavebeendisastrous.Coolerheadsprevailedand
theLordworkedandcontinuestoworkinourlivesbyshapingusindividually,aswellascollectively.
Afriendofourslosthiswifetocancer,andtheyhadbeenmarriedlongerthanus.Ashelookeduponherin
deathhesaid"Icouldnothavehadabetterpartner".ThosewordsIwillneverforget,anditisakeytotheir
marriagebasedonthefoundationofJesusChrist.
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RelationshipMagic 2yearsago

Greatinsightsyou'vegothere.Trulyinspirational.Ilikethisquote"neverlettemporaryfeelingsmake
permanentchanges".Marriageisneverabedofroses,especiallyifyoulivewithsomeoneandwakeup
tothesamepersoneveryday,forsureyouwilldiscoversomethingnegative,eventimesunacceptablewith
yourpartner.Thekeyhereistoneverletthosenegativesoutweighthepositive.Inmypart,whenIfind
myselflookingintothebadsidesofmypartner,Icorrectitbydwellingmoreonthegoodthingsthatheis
doing.Thegoodmaynotalwaysbedoneforme,butitcouldbehowheisagoodfathertomykids,orhow
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doing.Thegoodmaynotalwaysbedoneforme,butitcouldbehowheisagoodfathertomykids,orhow
hegreatlytreatsmyMom.Nomatterhowbadthesituationweareinto,Imakeitapointtofindsomething
goodtobethankfulfor.Andlikemagic,allthenegativevibesandemotionsaregone,replacedonlyby
positiveaffirmations,.:)
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Robyn 2yearsago

GREATarticle.LikeValcommentedabouthermarriagemyheartalsodida180turn.Itwassittingina
pityingandvictimmentalitythatweakenedmyresolve.ItwasGodwhochangedmymanNOTme.
(imaginemysurprise!)
ItwasthroughhardlearningandahumbledheartthatGodshowedmethatHenevergivesuponpeople...
anyone.IfIwantedtobelikeJesus,IwouldhavetobewillingtodowhatHedid...stickwithmyhusband
andnotgiveuponhim.
NowontheothersideofitIcansay,unapologeticallythatIamlivinginsideoftheohsocoveted,"Happily
EverAfter."
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JaclynSuzanne ayearago

thisisthedumbestthingIeverread.IamdivorcedandIam100%happywithMYdecisiontoleavemy
ungreatfulexhusbandwhonevergavemethetimeofday.Iknowthingsaren'tsupposedtobeperfect,
butIamnotgoingtoreducemyselftonothingforanyoneletaloneaMAN.Completelydisagreewiththis
article.IthinkittakesaweakanddependentpersontoSTAYwithsomeone.
4

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Guest>JaclynSuzanne ayearago

Unfortunately,youaremissingthepointofherarticle.
8

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Crandolf ayearago

Afterseveralyearsoffeelingunderappreciated,bitingmytongueandworkingonitandwaitingandhoping
andpraying,Ihavedecidedtomoveon.Itwasthehardestdecisionofmylife.
Wemarriedyoung...andhave2girls.Ithinkthetippingpointwasrealizingthatourunhappinesswas
becomingunderstoodas"howmarriageworks"tothem.They'reatthatage.
IwanttobehappyandhealthyagainformeformygirlsandInowknowthatit'sgoingtotakeleaving
tobegintomakethishappen.Itwassodevastatingtofacebutthetruthis,wewillbehappierapartand,
betterparents,too.
IttookaLONGtimetogethere,butnowthatIamIcanfinallyseehope.
4

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Caitlin ayearago

Ithinkifyou'redealingwithanabuser,ofanykind,youaren'tdoingyourselforhim/heranyfavorsby
stayingandallowingthemtocontinuetoabuseyou.Youshouldremoveyourselfandletthembealoneto
dealwiththeirissuesontheirown.Theywilldo1of2things,findsomeoneelsetoabuse,orseekreal
help.Well,thisisofcourseaftertheyrealizetheycan'ttalkyouintocomingback.
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Mypointis,thisiswhereabusedpartnerstakethebibletoofar.Theyuseitasacrutchtostaybecause
theyfearleaving.Theyfearleavingfortheirownpersonalissueswithinthemselves.Healthypeopledon't
putupwithabuse.Thedoormatspousetoanabuserislikecocainetoacokehead.Thedrugmustbe
removedforhealing.
Thisauthor'sstoryisgreat.Herstoryfitssomesituations.Herstoryiswhatsomeneedtohear.Idon't
thinksheintendeditasaguideforeveryone'ssituation.Thebibledescribesahealthymarriage.Itdoesn't
talkmuchabouttheunhealthyones.So,useyourcommonsense.Ifwhyyouarebeingabusedisnotfor
thenameofGod(beinglockedupforpreachingwordofGodforexample)thendonotputupwithit.Jesus
alreadycametobeabusedforoursins,thewifetakingabeatingb/cshe'smarriedtoapunkBEARSNO
GOODFRUIT.So,youleaveandIbelievefullythatGodwantsyoutotoo.
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ladyNuNu ayearago

Thankyouforwritingthis,itshowedupJustwhenIneededit.
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cencalicole ayearago

Ithinkthisistrue,ifyouarebothinittowinit,ifyourgoalsandpassionsareoneandthesame.
However,itdoesn'talwaysworkthewayyouwantitto,regardlessofyourneedsoryourbeliefsforyour
children.Ican'tandwon'tbecheatedon,Iwon'tteachmydaughterstodemeanthemselveslikethat,or
allowmysontothinkit'ssomethingthatisoktodotoyourwifeandchildren.ILOVEDmyhusband,I
LOVEDbeingmarriedtohim.ButILOVEmychildrenmoreandIRESPECT&LOVEmyselfmorethan
somesocialexpectation.
2

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Blake ayearago

YouhavenoideahowbadlyIneededtohearthis.Thankyouforyourwordsofhonestyand
encouragement!Sometimes,wecangetsowrappedupinthe"now"thatweforgetwhywefellinlovewith
someoneinthefirstplace,andhowthefuturecanbebrightoncewegetthroughthetoughtimes.
3

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Samantha 4monthsago

Whatanamazingpost.Thankyouforyourwisewords.IthashelpedmepushawaymyfeelingsandIam
abletoseewhat'simportantnow,theloveformyhusbandandourfamily.GodbroughtustogetherandifI
keepfightingforourrelationship,Godwillkeepustogether.
1

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Janet 6monthsago

Iwasoneofthewomenthatran.Imarriedatage17andmyhusbandwas22.Idivorcedmyhusbandin
Mayof2009afterleavinghimtwiceinthefewmonthsprevioustothat.Weremarriedin2012.We're
celebrating37yearsinAugust.Myhusbandhasbeenverymercifulandloving.There'salotthatcouldbe
saidbutmuchofitwassaidinthearticle.DoIliketoadmitIranfrommymarriage?No,Idon't.It'safact.It
happened.IhopesomewheredownthelineIcanhelpotherswhomayalsobethinkingaboutendingtheir
marriage.
1

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Shay>Janet 4monthsago

IneedadvicecuzIfeellikerunning.WearebaktogetheraftertwoyearsandI'msostressedand
wonderifImadethewrongchoice

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Kelsie 8monthsago

Thisarticlejustliterallysavedmefromwalkingoutmydoorthankyou!Beautifullywritten!
1

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DM ayearago

I'mherenowanddon'tknowwhattodoorhowtohandleit
1

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Jessica>DM ayearago

I'mgoingthroughitnowtoo.IwishIcouldoffersomewordsofadvice.Icrymyselftosleepmore
oftenthannot.It'sdifficulttothinkofthepositivewhenIfeellikeeverydayissonegative.Anyone
withwordsofadviceforpeoplecurrentlygoingthroughthispleasereply.
1

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luda>Jessica ayearago

Sadtosay,i'minthissituationtoo!!Itisextremelydifficulttostaywithsomeonewhoisnot
inlovewithyou!Ortellingyoutoleave!!IamaChristianandsoismyhusband..Buti
knowthatGoddoesn'twantpeopletobeinanunhappyrelationship!Ifyoureadthebible,
husbandsareinstructedtotreattheirwivesasweekvessels!Thatmeansbeinggentlenot
abusive!LifeissohardthatIdon'tevenwanttolivewiththepersonwhomakesmecryall
thetime!!Iknowthatthereismenouttherewhowouldlovemesomuchmorethanmy
own!!Thatsthehardestrealization!Ireallygaveupinsidealready!!Ijustwanttobehappy!
Bythewaylifeiswaytooshorttowasteitonsomeunfaithfulspouse!!AndwhyshouldI
waitifIcanbehappieralotsooner!Bythewayialreadywaitedfor7years!
1

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BarbaraCasida>luda 11daysago

Whatabout2peoplenotmarried,justlivingtogether?They'vebeentogether8
years,butheisahorriblepartner...andthey'rebothmiserable.Shestays"forthe
kids"butusesthisarticletojustifystaying!???!

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AmandaWhite 14daysago

MyhusbandandIdatedfortwoyearsbeforewegotmarried.Ibrokeupwithhimonceamonthforthose
twoyears.WhenhediddecidetoproposehetoldmeGodhadgivenhimHispermissiontomarryme,
whichblewmymindbecausemostofthosetwoyearsIwasbeggingGodtomakemynowhusbandgo
away.Iknewiwantedoutsixmonthsintoourmarriageandhavetriedvarioustimestoleaveonlytofail
andendupcomingback.Wejustignoredour4thweddinganniversaryatthebeingofthemonth(whichis
amimprovementaswehavefoughtthefirstthree)andI'mmakingplansyetagaintoendit.
Hetreatsmyson,frommyfirstmarriage,likeasecondratepersonanddoesn'tseemtocarethattheir
lackofcommunicationstressesmeouttonoend.Myhusbandactslikemysonisapaininhisbutt.Ihave
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lackofcommunicationstressesmeouttonoend.Myhusbandactslikemysonisapaininhisbutt.Ihave
hadtwomentalhealthprofessionalstellmethatstayingwithmyhusbandisdoingmoreharmthangoodto
myson.
Andseemstothinkthatalongwithworking40hrsaweek,I'msupposedtokeepthehousespotlessand
behis"funtoy".
Butfromwhatyouwrote,Ishouldstickthismessout?Attheexpenseofmysanityandmyson'swell
being?That'swhatGodintendedandwants?

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Tami 6monthsago

Myhusbandof7yearsisverballyandemotionallyabusivetomeandmythreetwentysomethingadult
children.IhavebeenbeatdownsofarthatIcan'tseemtopickmyselfupfromthis,Iamdepressedtothe
pointthatthemostdaysIcanbarelygetoutofbed.Hehastakencontrolofprettymucheveryaspectof
myexistence,Ihavenoresourcesandcounselingdidnothingtohelp.Thisismysecondmarriageandhis
andIreallydon'twanttogothroughanotherdivorce.Helpmeplease!

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Jen 7monthsago

Thankyou,Michelle!Marriagehasbeenroughtheselastcoupleofyears,butIdowaitexpectantlyfor
bettertimesahead.Idoseeprogress,evenifit'smuch,muchslowerthanIwouldlike.:)Iappreciatethe
valueyouplaceonstayingeventhoughit'snotpopularintoday'sworld.

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Gaby 8monthsago

Whatdoyourecommendtodowhenyourspousefeelsabetterandhappierpersonalone!?Ifeellike
regardlessofallthechangeIhavemadeinmylifeandhowmuchihavematuredIwillneverbeabletobe
agoodwifeforhimsincehecanonlyseemymistakes.Imayhavenotbeenagoodpartnerayearago
andIhavenotbeenthebestwifeIknowIcanbe,butIammakingchangestomyeverydaylifeandfeel
happierwithwhoIambecomingbutIfeellikeeverytimewetrytoworkontherelationshipwehavehe
buildsusuptoshootmedown...doIwalkaway?!Ispendalotoftimereadingthescriptureandprayingbut
IamreadytogiveupandIdon'twanttobutIbecomesodiscouragedthatwalkingawayseemseasier

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JJ 10monthsago

Ithinkthemeaningofthispostisnotforwomenormenwhoaregoingthroughabuse,persistantcheating
etc..Itisforamarriageinwhichonepersonsimplyfeelsunhappy.Whichsurprisinglycanhappeneven
withoutthosesituations.Weallbecomecomplacenteveninmarriage.Greatpost!

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TXgirl ayearago

After22years,IlookedacrosstheroomandwasgladIleft.Iagreethatthisisnotadecisionthatshould
bemadeonawhim.However,theonlylifethatisavailabletomeistheonethatislivedinmyheartand
betweenmyears.TheamountofpeacethatInowhaveismymeasuringstick.Marriageistoocomplexto
besummedupinafewparagraphs...manywomenshouldstay,someshouldrun.

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Amanda ayearago

MyhusbandandIhavebeenmarriedfor10years.Wehaveonesonwhois8yearsold.Lastyearmy

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TotheWifeWhosReadytoRun...

MyhusbandandIhavebeenmarriedfor10years.Wehaveonesonwhois8yearsold.Lastyearmy
husbanddeployed.Thiswashissecondlongdeployment,butjustoneofhismanytimesawayfromus.
Whilehewasawaylastyearhemetsomeoneandalthoughheassuresmetherewasnosexualcheating,
hedefinatlyconnectedverystronglywithheremotionally.ThemomenthesteppedoftheairplaneIknew
somethingwaswrong.AfterquestioninghimIeventuallyfoundoutaboutthisotherwoman.Tomakea
longstoryshorterhejustcouldn'tseemtogetoverher.Heremainedincontactwithherformonths.I
wouldfindoutaboutthephonecallsandtexts,andhewouldfeelguiltybutwouldultimatelycontinue
contact.Ourrelationshipwasbad.Icouldtellhewasnot"intome"anymore.Fastforwardtonowithas
been11monthssincehehascomehome.Heclaimsthathenolongertalkstoher(andIdobelievehim)
andthathedoeslovemeandwantstotrytoforgetherandworkonourmarriage.Buthonestly,Istillfeel
likesomethingisoff.IamstrugglingthroughalltheheartbreaksIamnotevensharinghalfofthestory
hereIwanttoforgive,butIamwonderingifmaybehereallydidjustfalltoomuchinlovewithheranditis
pastthepointofnoreturn.Ihavealwaysthoughtthatwehavehadagreatmarriage,buthecamehome
sayingthathehasneverfeltthewayhefeltwithher,withme.Soitjustmakesmefeellikeheisstaying
withmeoutofdutynotlove.Heisaverybusyman,butheputshardlyanyeffortintoourmarriage.For
example,Ididn'tevengetabirthdaycard,muchlessagiftformybirthday,andalthoughwedidgooutlast
nightforValentinesDay(firstdateinliterallymonths!)therewasnocard,giftoranyromanticgesture.He
rarelymakesanefforttotouchmeorlistentowhatIamsaying.Itislikehelovesmeoutofhabit,but
doesn'tmakeanefforttocareonpurpose.Ifeellikehejustexistswithmeandthereisnorealconnection
anymore.WillthisfeelingpassorshouldIjustrealizethatheisnotintomeanymoreandIshouldn'tkeep
trying?Maybethisisjustwhathappensafter10yearsofmarriage?Ormaybeitisjustmestillfeelinghurt?
Hehasbeenhomeforjustaboutayearandhestillstruggleswiththoughts/feelingabouther.DoIkeep
hanginginthereandwaitforhimto"stoplovingher",orleaveandshowIwon'tputupwithhimloving
someoneelse?IthasbeenayearthoughYouwouldthinkthathewouldhavegottenoverheralready!
Sorryforthelongpost.

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disqus_z1kNAH9AK5>Amanda ayearago

IwantyoutoknowthatIreadyourpostandamprayingforyouandyourhusbandandyour
beautifulmarriage.Ifeverinthislifethereisonethingworthfightingforandprotectingwiththe
ferocityofaspartanwarrior,itisthemarriageandvowswemaketoourspouseandGod.

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sandy ayearago

Youhavefoundunselfishsolutionstoaproblemwhichcanseemverypersonal.Thankyouforyour
wonderfuladviceandsharingyourencounterwiththatwisewomaninthepark.Mostofthetime....Ithink
healingandsavingamarriageisamatterofchoice.SoThankyou.

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TotheWifeWhosReadytoRun...

Welcome!Weresogladyoustoppedby.We're
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